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Oct. 13, 2023 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:43:29

S5E09 - CHICK STUFF

After deep diving into AOC's farts, we laugh at Hamas, stand with Turtleboy, lament retardation, attack comedians, and discuss important chick stuff like choosing moths over babies and supporting Karens.

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	Dramatic Music Dramatic Music Dramatic Music Dramatic Music Dramatic Music Dramatic Music Dramatic Music Live from New York It's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes
	Dramatic Music Dramatic Music Dramatic Music Dramatic Music *Dramatic
	Music* Dramatic Music What an awesome jam from Empty Graves, Midwestern Grindcore in the Quad Cities, that weird area south of Madison near Chicago, whatever.
	Can't get much more Midwest than the Quad Cities.
	And I know what you're thinking when you hear this band.
	You're like, good band, scary music, very post-apocalyptic.
	We're living in post-apocalyptic times.
	Very Mad Max, but what are their views on trans?
	Good news, I've looked into it.
	One, two, this is the singer of the band you just heard and you're going to be thrilled.
	Most recently, but I think with a few prominent people in the scene coming out as transphobic, it's kind of important to address these issues.
	First of all, MTV is very supportive of trans rights and trans people in general.
	It's insane that in music, and metal specifically, that's supposed to be kind of the most accepting, that we're having people speaking out against trans people and trans rights.
	I think the best thing that we can do on the other side is just be supportive and let you know that you're welcome and safe here.
	Many bigots that listen to our music are not real fans, they clearly haven't listened to our lyrics, they probably wouldn't agree if they did.
	So I'll say it as many times as I need to, you are welcome, everybody is welcome, it's a safe place over here as long as you're not a bigot.
	Oh, great.
	It is in the lyrics, Gab.
	You should have known that.
	Come on.
	What are your pronouns?
	- He, him, they, he. - Oh, that's the pronouns, yeah.
	What are your pronouns?
	My pronouns are he, him.
	You know, back in my day, metal fans used to be cutters, Now they're cutter dicker-offers.
	Make a dicker out of your liggers.
	People don't really get this, but in the late 70s in Britain, you were scared of the Sex Pistols.
	If you were like 7, 8, 9 years old, you thought Johnny Rotten was under your bed.
	That wasn't true of most punk bands.
	No one was scared of The Clash.
	But little kids were scared of Johnny Rotten.
	And, like, when I was young, Black Sabbath, like, I thought they were Satanists.
	Me too.
	They were spooky!
	I told you about the Sex Puzzle thing, right?
	Like, the movie was in our house and... The Great Rock and Roll Swindle?
	The one that said Sex Puzzle with Gary Oldman?
	It said Nancy.
	It said Nancy.
	Fuck, you're young.
	And they were eating, they were like, I was like, those guys are unhinged.
	I'm scared.
	I was scared.
	Yeah, that's the goal.
	Like, I don't want to know about this band's view on trans rights.
	I want to think that they are eating the dead babies in Gaza right now.
	Like Godflesh.
	Godflesh was just some fat British nerd with an 808 making drum music.
	But when you listen to Street Cleaner, you know, and there's songs like Deadhead, you're like, this is fucking scary and I want it to stay that way.
	Can we just have some mystery back?
	In society, please.
	I felt that way with gays when they were like trying to get married and everything.
	I was like, guys, you want to stay like, edgy, out there.
	You don't want to be nor- there's- gay normies?
	That's probably the sexiest part of being a homo, is that it's bad.
	It's naughty.
	That's probably why when we accepted gays, that was the- that's why they're like, well, I'm gonna be a chick, I guess?
	I bet gay sex is worse since we accepted them.
	I saw a graph where it went down, yeah.
	I bet gay sex just went... I sold before it declined fully.
	When I would listen to this band, I never knew what they looked like.
	There's no pictures of them.
	Don't show me that, you're ruining it.
	But is that Deadhead?
	It says mandatory metal... Godflesh.
	Yeah, the band is Godflesh.
	The song is Deadhead.
	The album is Street Cleaner.
	This is the album.
	This song is Pulp.
	Okay, so can you find the song Deadhead, please?
	There's the whole album.
	I think it's track 13.
	You're correct.
	This is Satan flying over Dresden in World War II.
	Being responsible.
	I just called America Satan for bombing Nazis.
	But you know what I mean.
	Satan's like, you got the wrong guys.
	There's a town on fire and Satan is just flying over it.
	Cool.
	If Satan's flying over Dresden, shouldn't he be like Brando in The Godfathers?
	Like, what did you do to my boy?
	Look what you did.
	Imagine seeing that singer, who just sounded like the devil, just going, I want everyone to know that you are who you are, and everyone deserves equal rights, and everyone deserves to be treated the same.
	OK?
	So refugees are welcome here, and love is love.
	Water is life.
	No human being is illegal.
	OK.
	Fine, Mom.
	Way to ruin everything.
	By the way, I said that I gave the Rolling Stones that new song, Don't Get Angry With Me, on our Battle of the Bands thing.
	People who subscribe know that we're evaluating who has had the most hits per year out of any band.
	So far it goes Replacements, Rolling Stones, Van Halen, ACDC.
	And I was going to admit that their new hit, Don't Get Angry With Me, goes, counts, but then that's 40 years of Rolling Stones.
	I got the math wrong.
	So that would bring them down to 0.5 hits a year.
	So for their own good, I am fudging the Stata and I am killing Don't Get Angry With Me so they can stay at their 1.6 jams a year.
	Unfortunately, ACDC is punished by having Thunderstruck in 1991 so far off.
	Well, this is a new song.
	Back in black.
	So if this was a good song, then that would hurt them.
	If that's a good song, they're toast.
	Okay, never mind.
	They'll go down to like .8 a year or something, but let's hear it.
	I don't listen to new ACDC because I'm scared it wouldn't be good, so I have no idea what to expect.
	I thought Brian Jones' voice is toast.
	Brian Johnson's coming back.
	Johnson.
	Yeah.
	Apparently they're gonna do a tour.
	Well, they just had a show, like, last month.
	Yeah.
	Didn't somebody write in saying that they went to it?
	I don't want this to be good because I don't want to fuck up their hits per year.
	Oh, thank God.
	It sucks.
	Chorus Phew Phew It stinks Uh Speaking of stinks, AOC farted, and judging by the tone, I think I emailed this to you, Ryan.
	Judging by the tone, I don't think her and her boyfriend have anal.
	Usually you can tell if a woman has a lot of butt sex because their farts sound like this.
	This sounds very tight.
	So and that's fine.
	That's great.
	It's good for her anal health.
	But I'd be really concerned for her inner health if her fart sounded like the space in between Antissa and patient in Rocky Harbor.
	Our responsibility is to... Should we just cut right to it?
	Cut to cheese?
	No, I like the context.
	She's talking about something that's literally life or death, and she decides to let one rip.
	It states, our responsibility is to the stability and the security of the region.
	That means being able to support, yes, Israel in its defensive capacities, right, in that She's looking at a script.
	But it also means that the United States has a responsibility to ensure accountability to human rights, to prevent the ethnic cleansing of Palestinians, and to ensure that horrors do not happen in the names of victims who do not want their tragedy used to justify further violence and justice.
	Wait a minute, wait a minute.
	I remember it being a lot tighter.
	I remember it being like...
	Yeah, but this was pretty lit.
	This was like this is from her account, right?
	Maybe they do get dirt down and dirty Maybe I'd have to smell his dick to be positive.
	Let me taste it.
	Well, where is he shit?
	Let's hear the fart again ...happen in the names of victims who do not want their tragedy used to justify further... Did you hear the aftertaste?
	I think that's a D. That was like poo.
	Oh, I did not hear that.
	Yeah, you gotta, it's a, it's a main poo.
	And then a who?
	So it's like a question.
	It's not sure of itself.
	It's inquisitive.
	No, it's, it's like, no, a main.
	It's the fart equivalent of in it.
	Yeah.
	Like, get, like you say, Celtics suck this year.
	They're trash in it.
	Like, fuck them.
	You know what I mean?
	So it's confident, but it also wants to understand if you understand.
	The initial fart feels like it was too much.
	So it's like, fart.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Like, poof, poof.
	Tragedy used to justify further violence and injustice.
	Beautifully said.
	Oh!
	Wait, there's people on the other line.
	Yeah.
	Because the fart didn't really sound like it was coming from me.
	No, it's a weird thing.
	I've farted.
	People ignore farts.
	Like, we did this stupid thing back in Vice days and it was Rolling Stone paid us $300 an hour as a focus group to discuss cool and what's wrong with Rolling Stone and why aren't they considered cool by young people anymore.
	And it was there was one boomer who was going on about young people isn't when I was young it was the mods and the rockers fighting on the beaches of Brighton and young people don't got nothing no more and we were like no you're just not aware of it you don't know about like fucking no wave and and Iraq and you know whatever the hipster culture was of the early arts.
	What was it called?
	Electroclash and all that stuff.
	You're just not involved.
	That's what you think young people are doing.
	And he kept coming back to it, so I just went, well, I think we have all learned that, and then I went, like in the middle of the cool discussion, we were a panel of like seven people, and no one acknowledged it.
	Like Jesse Pearson, the editor of Vice, was also there.
	He was laughing his head off, but everyone else was just like, they just move on through farts.
	They deny them.
	I think they say when the Indians first saw our ships coming towards the shores, they didn't see them.
	Like their brains went, that doesn't make sense.
	So their brains blocked it out and they just saw a horizon.
	I don't know how you gauge this.
	I don't know.
	The Indians told them, but apparently that's perceptual blindness.
	So they have auditory blindness.
	What's this now?
	Somebody went through the work of using high tech imagery.
	Yeah, that's a confirm.
	Am I wrong about the delay?
	The in it?
	Play it again.
	Yeah.
	Names of victims who do not want their tragedy used.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, no, it's definitely a C.
	It's a C.
	Here's the original.
	I really think to give her the benefit of the fart, I think it sounds like it's coming from their thing.
	Of victims who do not want their tragedy.
	You know what?
	I mean, I hate to be the guy who kills the fun, but it sounds like the guy on the other line went, hmm.
	Wait, you don't think that's a fart by anyone?
	That's correct.
	Listen closely.
	This is not a human fart.
	And so when you listen to the fart, take into account the sound quality, and then he'll talk even after that.
	And you're like, wait, is that more braps?
	No, it's his voice.
	Want their tragedy used to justify further violence and injustice.
	It's like a fart to me.
	Right.
	Beautifully said.
	I have a book.
	That guy's voice.
	I have a book called Does It Fart?
	And you'd be surprised how few things don't fart.
	I believe a man o' war that weird jellyfish is pretty much the only thing because it doesn't have an anus but every other everything with an anus farts so don't feel guilty don't feel uncomfortable with the fact that you toot.
	Speaking of toots AOC is, if that was her farting, she's just an affirmative action hire.
	She was hired because she's a woman, because she pretended to be a bariqua who grew up in the hood, but she grew up upstate.
	And so she's not qualified, which is why she always has bug eyes, because she's on Adderall.
	And that's why you hear nothing but garbage come from her face.
	She's a joke, right?
	That's what happens when you don't hire someone based on merit.
	Another person not based on merit is on The View.
	She is there because she's black.
	And The View is already affirmative action because they only talk to women.
	Women are pretty new to having political opinions.
	And I made a joke on Twitter the other day.
	I read that The CBC and the New York Times have been told not to call Hamas terrorists.
	You should come up with a nicer term.
	Soldiers of the Resistance, maybe?
	That sounds better.
	And I thought it was funny, because Canada proudly calls Proud Boys terrorists.
	So I said, hey guys, just a reminder, if you're talking about Proud Boys, they are terrorists.
	If you're talking about Hamas, they are not.
	And that was me lampooning the ridiculousness of modern legacy media.
	And then this bitch comes out and does my joke!
	but real.
	Go ahead, Sonny, you want to say something?
	No, I just, I, you know, I look at this from a legal perspective.
	Okay.
	And I think that we all know that Hamas has been designated a terror organization, just like many other terror organizations have had this designation, like the Proud Boys here in the United States.
	Go ahead, Sonny, you want to say something?
	No, I just, I, you know, I look at this from a...
	Can you fucking believe the world we're living in?
	They didn't just burn babies alive and chop their heads off.
	They're using them as artillery and sending baby cadavers soaring through the air into Israel.
	Sorry to laugh.
	That is just like the Proud Boys who do cocaine, make inappropriate memes and have drinking contests and did trespass on January 6th through an open door.
	Same thing.
	Terrorism.
	Same fucking thing.
	In her shit brain.
	Speaking of shit brains, I can't recommend enough Purple Works Nutrition.
	I'm not on it right now for a change.
	I didn't go to the gym.
	We partied after the Cops and Robbers show last night till about 1 a.m.
	So I just didn't feel like going to the gym and I didn't feel like taking this.
	I have gone to workout hungover with Purple Works and it's weird.
	Like that's when you end up shitting yourself.
	You're summoning energy that your body doesn't even have.
	Yeah, it's cheating.
	It's like Scotty is in there going, the engines can't handle it, Gavin!
	But if all things considered, if it's a normal day, and you're not hungover, and you can make it to the gym, or even if you're on the cusp, like you feel good but you're feeling lazy, this magic powder, I don't do a whole scoop, I just do like a teaspoon, this magic powder gets you to the gym and gives you a second wind when you're at the gym.
	Take it half an hour before you get there.
	It's not only great for gym and lifting weights, it's also great for sports.
	It works like a charm if you play football, baseball, pickleball, spikeball, or even shooty hoops.
	However, it is especially effective for running, biking, and other endurance sports.
	If you work in a warehouse, construction, mining, farming, or any other job that requires you to be on your feet doing physical work, this might be a great product to help you get through your day.
	Purpleworks, no not might, it is a great product to help you get through your day.
	Purpleworks pre-workout uses only the highest quality ingredients.
	Creatine for strength, caffeine and green tea extract for energy and focus, vitamins for muscles and tissue repair, and carnosine beta alanine for tingles.
	That's these little pricklies you get in your hand that you have to work out or they don't go away.
	Purpleworks pre-workout has no artificial ingredients.
	It's manufactured in an FDA-registered facility.
	It's formulated so that you don't have to cycle on and off it like many other pre-workouts.
	But wait, there's more.
	Like I've done it every day for a week and then stopped and there's no side effects, no withdrawals, no weirdness.
	Purpleworks Nutrition has two things.
	They have a line of fine imported Italian coffees.
	Wait, sorry.
	They have two things.
	So they have this, the pre-workout, but they also have a line of coffees, Italian coffees.
	They have ground gourmet coffee, a big-ass 2.2 pound bag of organic whole bean coffee, and they even have gourmet organic instant coffee.
	Whether you're into French press or the bench press, Purpleworks has you covered.
	Go to purpleworksnutrition.com and enter promo code GAVIN for 15% off.
	Start working purple, working purple.
	Start working purple for me now.
	So as you know, this episode is free.
	It's on all podcasts everywhere.
	Are you still doing that?
	Putting the audio on?
	Oh, yeah.
	And then we go behind a paywall and we take calls.
	We might take a call or two before we go up behind the paywall.
	Oh, real quick, Gav.
	This is something that's interesting.
	If you're listening to this from our podcast places, you could be watching the video for free on Censored.TV.
	Oh, yeah.
	Good point.
	We put it on Censored.TV.
	You can't send that link to anyone.
	It won't go through.
	I'm having a Halloween party and the theme is a guy from a movie.
	And then people go, does it have to be a guy?
	Come on.
	No, I wrote it out correctly.
	A character from any movie.
	And I thought that doesn't sound very fun for an invite.
	So I changed it to be a guy from a movie.
	A guy from a thing, yeah.
	A guy from a thing.
	And then Doggystyle, the woman who takes care of my dog, is like, can I be a chick?
	Of course you could be a fucking chick, you stupid bitch.
	Not a stupid ass fucking bitch like you're being right now.
	Yeah.
	You could be somebody smart.
	Are you dressed up as an annoying cunt right now?
	Cause it's working.
	You're dressed up a little early.
	But one of my old buddies from the New York days, when I lived in the East Village, who still lives there now, he goes, I want to come, but am I, am I going to end up on some kind of list?
	I go, what?
	There's like baseball moms there and shit.
	He goes, I just don't want it.
	Like if I'm in a picture, I don't want to get fired.
	How do you how are you such a pussy and you live in New York City?
	And then I was just like, don't come.
	I don't like you anymore.
	Gay thing to ask.
	But I think that's why a lot of people don't.
	Oh, that's that cool Japanese thing.
	Yeah.
	Obscure, unguessable things.
	Well, I like one of them was a guy who doesn't realize his flashlight is on on his phone.
	So you need a battery charger for that.
	And right.
	Because you have to have your flashlight on the whole time.
	Yeah.
	That's tough.
	They're good at Halloween.
	Someone in Australia asked me, and that was in the to-do list on the mailbag, they said, Halloween's new here, and I got invited to a Halloween party, what do I do?
	Well, there's a lot, I have a lot to say about that.
	Your costume has to be funny and original, and you have to make it yourself.
	Buying a costume is like karaoke, you're just, you're not in a band, you're just buying what some chink made.
	That's not interesting.
	Title of the episode?
	That could never work.
	It doesn't have to be good either.
	I think one of my favorite costumes I ever did was a woman dressed as a man for Halloween.
	So I shaved my beard and I added stubble.
	I got a form-fitting blazer that was for a woman.
	And then I had on like those ballerina flats, because I don't have any man shoes.
	And then I had a cigar and I put on a wig and then I put the wig up into my fedora.
	And then I had a cigarette.
	I strapped, I put on tits and then I strapped them down.
	And then I was making jokes like, hey guys, let's talk about tits, man.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I totally love football.
	Yeah.
	Hey, yeah.
	That was funny.
	Who is that chick that dressed up like Shrek?
	That was like one of the first episodes I've ever done.
	Oh, one time, you know how there's like Sexy Nurse and then this chick Sexy Toast did Sexy Toast?
	And then my French doesn't like me anymore because of Trump.
	What was her name?
	She dated David Cross for a long time.
	Redhead.
	I forgot her name for some reason.
	But she was Sexy Man.
	So she had a blazer on and a mustache But she had on sexy lingerie and high-heeled shoes.
	So, sexy nurse, sexy toast, sexy man.
	Amber Tamblyn?
	No, that's his current wife.
	That's his wife.
	Dumbass.
	She's also a redhead, though.
	Not really.
	C'est la vie, ça va.
	What is this?
	Natasha Lyonne?
	No.
	Those are fake redheads.
	All right.
	I just got a notice that Turtle Boy has been arrested.
	He was arrested yesterday on witness intimidation charges.
	He's been covering a murder case here in Massachusetts and uncovered a lot of corruption amongst the local PD, DA's office, and state police.
	He thinks the charges were a means to seize his electronics to find out who his sources are.
	He's out right now, but expecting more charges.
	What a trip.
	Yeah, let's check out the article about it.
	People can look that up on their own.
	Turtle Boy blogger rests on unwitnessed intimidation charges in connection with Karen Reid case, officials say.
	He's one of our favorite journalists.
	He's a real old school, pound the pavement, make the phone calls kind of guy.
	Unlike the other 99% of modern journalists who just Google and basically rewrite the article they just read on AP.
	What's 1-5?
	So that's him explaining it.
	All right.
	What's up, everyone?
	Pretty intense nose.
	Welcome impromptu Wednesday Night Live.
	All right, so you can look that up on your own time.
	He explains the entire thing.
	Also, speaking of journalists being persecuted, so Tommy Robinson is back in Britain now.
	As you know from our site, and when I went down to Spain to visit him on the LAM, where they track down the house, God knows how, I didn't even know where I was.
	In fact, one of the guys staying with us, he went for a walk and he got lost coming back.
	But hope not hate figured out where we were staying.
	They know more about me than me.
	So he went down there because the court told him he can't release a documentary that exonerates him for Islamophobia and points out that the kid he was exposing wasn't a victim but he was in fact the bully who started the fight.
	Proving himself right is a crime.
	I know, it sounds crazy.
	No matter how bad we get, Britain is always worse.
	So he was on the lam and he let the documentary get released, or it got released I should say, and so he let it, he let the optics go, just like Israel, for long enough that if he came back and got arrested it would have Streisand effect and more people would want to see the video.
	But that's not why he came back.
	He came back to face charges of stalking because he went to a journalist's house.
	You know why he went to the journalist's house?
	Because she went to his house with Antifa and showed where his wife and children lived and then Antifa, outside his door, threatened the family and threatened to kill the family.
	This woman, he's not allowed to say her name, has written 244 articles about Tommy Robinson and she has a restraining order against him because he's obsessed with her.
	What?
	What?
	So Tommy is really in the eye of the storm of bureaucracy.
	But as you can see, with Turtle Boy getting arrested for questioning the state, we're not much better.
	We're not quite as bad as Tommy Robinson levels, but 88 years for meandering on January 6th, we're pretty fucking bad.
	Also in very important news about civil rights and humanity, I found some old buddies from my old New York days in a Bruno clip.
	This is so dumb, I don't know why I'm including this.
	Fashion is very important.
	It's what keeps us creative.
	It's what keeps us alive.
	It's what keeps us inspired.
	It's what makes us get up and go out of our houses every day.
	You know what?
	She's a real fashion icon living in her own time.
	I'm from New York and and I come across a lot of people.
	I knew her.
	She was in a band.
	I think her name is Justine.
	I tried to fuck her and she didn't want to fuck me.
	So you were looking at someone with probably the most willpower out of any woman in America.
	That she's able to resist This, and 20 years ago I was even sexier than this.
	And she managed to just, she maybe had always with wings on or like an adult diaper to absorb the moisture.
	She was probably embarrassed of herself.
	It must have looked like she peed her pants.
	Yeah.
	But it was just moisture from me hitting on her.
	But you wouldn't have judged her.
	How did she resist?
	Maybe she's also blind?
	By the way, that dude, he was a bouncer at a club, and I was hanging out with Johnny Knoxville, and he goes, get this bitch out of my face.
	You guys go take her in the cab.
	We'll meet you later.
	So it was Selma Blair.
	And she was in the cab, and she was talking about how fat she feels in these pants, and she was anorexic.
	And I go, yeah, you do look like shit.
	You're huge.
	I don't even know how you fit in this cab.
	And I don't know, LA people don't do sarcasm, and she was really hurt by it.
	And took me seriously.
	And then when I walked in, that guy saw me walk in with Selma Blair.
	And after that, I was golden!
	I was at the front of the line for everything because I knew Selma Blair, who I didn't know and lost immediately after we got into the club.
	But what's she saying?
	Go back.
	Oops.
	Like, what's the matter with that Sasha?
	She's obviously kidding.
	She doesn't want to literally gas people who wear tacky clothes.
	ridiculous.
	There's no personal style.
	Why don't you just put them on train, send them to a camp and say bye bye.
	I would love to say bye bye to most of them.
	Like what's the matter with that Sasha?
	She's obviously kidding.
	She doesn't want to literally gas people who wear tacky clothes.
	That's enough of the clip.
	She's having some fun And it's true!
	When I was in Paris, no one had any style.
	You know what Paris is right now?
	It's those delivery scooters that have the protective hand things.
	To the tune of thousands.
	It's nothing but Arab delivery guys.
	And then the actual Parisians, they have on sweatpants and they don't even smoke anymore.
	Paris looks like shit.
	It's not stylish.
	New York at least has some 10s left.
	Where you walk by them and you're like, you want to just say, you're a 10.
	But coming from this, it's very creepy.
	Maybe I should just be gay and be like, You're a total fucking 10, girl.
	You could be a movie star.
	Then I get to say it.
	Yeah.
	And I'm not being a creep.
	And then when they say thank you, you'll be like, I'm not gay.
	So thanks.
	Hey, you know who you should fuck?
	You should fuck a guy named me.
	We used to do that, me and the same guy I just talked about who's scared to come to my Halloween party.
	We would go up to girls and be like, hey, you guys are so fucking hot.
	And they'd be like, oh, OK, thanks.
	You guys, you know what you should do?
	You should get in a bath together.
	You should have a bath in soap.
	Soap each other.
	And they go, all right, well, thanks for that advice.
	That's great.
	And then we go, you wanna see something cool?
	And I'm not wasted anymore.
	Hi, how you doing?
	Can I get you a drink?
	What's going on?
	Sometimes they would laugh.
	One time this girl goes, I don't believe you.
	And I'm like, what do you mean you don't believe me?
	Want me to do the alphabet backwards?
	Z, Y, X, W, V, U, T. What do you want me to do?
	Hello, hello.
	She's like, bullshit.
	What?
	That's the only time it didn't work.
	You know what a great pickup line is?
	I did this a hundred times.
	I'd be like, so we were down, sorry, you're too hot and it's fucking up my story.
	I'm just going to have to go like this to you.
	And so I block her face and then be like, so we, and then tell the story well, going like this.
	That's not bad.
	And they're like, peekaboo.
	I see you.
	Oh yeah, I'm too pretty for you.
	Um, speaking of retards, I, uh, I love people with Down syndrome.
	I'm pro-life.
	So we get a pass.
	We get the R word pass because we are not ethnically cleansing them like the left is.
	You see 90% less retards now because the left aborted them all.
	So they don't get to be self-righteous about people you murder.
	You don't hear Nazis bragging about how much they love Jews.
	We're the Zionists over here.
	We're the Zionists of Retardation.
	That's a pretty good name for the band.
	Zionists of Retardation.
	But the word retard, before it was a bad word, it just meant retardant, like slowed down, less forward, less progressive, less progress, less motion.
	If you're running in ski boots, then your run is retarded by the boots.
	You know?
	So, I'm not going to deny that there's limitations, but the left, who are consumed with anecdotal evidence and totally incapable of noticing patterns, are now in retard denial.
	That's a new one.
	There'll be a lot of limitations.
	Unfortunately, yes.
	Are you sure about that?
	It tends to be well-performing only the simplest of tasks.
	I am a lobbyist on Capitol Hill.
	A regular life with lasting relationships?
	We've been together for 14 years.
	Their cognitive ceiling limits their ability to work.
	I own a business.
	Wait, you know what's funny about this?
	You'd have to be retarded to think that people with Down syndrome can run a business.
	And the people saying these things that aren't true are all handicapped mentally.
	So you're not really helping your case.
	If you really want to make your case, then it should be someone with Down syndrome saying, they have limitations.
	And then a smart person going, actually someone with Down syndrome owns their own business.
	That would make more sense here.
	And yeah, there's plenty of exceptions to rules.
	This is, I think, the biggest stumbling block with the left and the right.
	You'll say that there's a pattern here, like a lot of Scottish people get violent when they're drunk and they'll be like, oh yeah, this is Angus McTavish.
	He's never had a drink in his life.
	Okay, well, I'm wrong then.
	Sorry, I thought the Scots had a problem with whiskey, and particularly Glaswegians get violent when they're drunk, but you found a teetotaler, so I'm wrong.
	Ever heard of the exception that makes the rule?
	Like, how do we go back to, what, fourth grade logic?
	This is like preschool.
	I wouldn't expect much.
	I was awed at Amy winning, so it's a stretch for them to live past their 50th birthday.
	To be blunt with you, it's a lifetime of limitations.
	Your limitations.
	Not mine.
	Not mine.
	Down syndrome?
	That is the most retarded ad I've ever seen in my life.
	And you know why?
	In every way, shape or form.
	I think I know why.
	Why?
	Because I made this commercial.
	We can make commercials too.
	You made that commercial, Larry?
	Yeah.
	But the lighting is perfect.
	The editing is great.
	The choice of music was perfect.
	Arrivederci.
	Arrivederci?
	French word, thank you.
	Oh.
	See?
	Censored.tv backs Harley Heavyhands Burke.
	He's got a fight in December.
	I was with him in Ireland, taking him around all the boxing gyms where he fucking slayed.
	I want to take him on a tour of Britain in general, getting him different sparring partners.
	The great thing about Britain is It's eight hours from top to bottom.
	So you can cover like easily cover a town a day.
	You could probably do two gyms a day for a week.
	I'm not exaggerating.
	Two separate and then the sparring partners could be three.
	You could probably fight six guys a day.
	For a week.
	And isn't that like having a good record?
	Like, boxers are judged, he's 8-0 now, which is pretty good.
	But he's kind of old for that?
	Not really.
	But if you have sparred six guys a day for a week, I don't care that you're just 8-0 now, you're kind of like 12-0.
	As far as experience goes.
	It's not a science, but I have found someone who is better, closer to the brand, he understands the ethos of this show.
	So Harley is now number two, and this is our man, the new number one focus for Censored.TV as far as pro fighters go.
	I'm Vice Grip, I've trained all my life, but never done much with my training, so now that these guys are here, I got a chance to do something with it.
	Nailed him.
	Overhand.
	Good rib shot.
	I like the back of the head.
	1-0.
	Perfect record.
	1-0, 1 KO.
	Alright, here we go again.
	Got him, and he's down.
	2-0.
	Hey, there you go.
	Look at that!
	I like the back of the head.
	1-0, perfect record.
	1-0, 1-KO.
	All right, here we go again.
	Got him, and he's down.
	2-0.
	Hey, there you go.
	Look at that.
	Oh, look at the shirt.
	Get off my lawn.
	He's perfect.
	I can't see one flaw about this guy.
	This is our guy.
	Sorry, Harley.
	Bye-bye, Harley.
	Home to mommy.
	Get out of Harley and drive away, right?
	Because you're lost.
	Bye-bye.
	She probably likes me.
	Boom!
	Okay.
	Uh-oh.
	So we're now 2-1.
	Right on, Vice Grip!
	Get off my lawn!
	Nice!
	Alright, we're about to be 3-1.
	Oh, that was a bad one on the chin.
	- I know, but I'm not sure about that.
	- Right on Vice Grip, get off my lawn.
	- Yep. - There's only gonna be one person taking the blame, and I'll say who that is at the time, 'cause it sure as the fuck ain't gonna be me.
	- Nice! - Whoa! - All right, we're about to be three in one.
	Oh, that was a bad one on the chin.
	Oh, that was three in the chin.
	- Good job.
	- Okay, so I've got an announcement to make.
	Vice Grip is gone, we're no longer working with him, and Harley is back!
	I don't remember you ever endorsing him to begin with.
	I don't know who Vice Grip is, I know who Harley is.
	I know Vice, that company you started there, but... Patriot 1776, are you still supporting toxic products and companies owned by woke megacorporations?
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	Patriot1776.store likes you more than a friend.
	For anybody saying, whoa, where's the promo code?
	How do I let people know that I've seen this through censored.tv?
	Well, when you sign up, how'd you hear about us?
	You type in get off my lawn, you fucking bitch.
	We're doing stand-up comedy in Nashville tomorrow.
	Just did a podcast.
	What's it called, the podcast?
	The Panfluteer.
	They do a whole bunch of different media things in Nashville.
	Is it up?
	It was live, but let me check on the replay.
	I did tweet it out, so on our Twitter, there's the thing.
	But they're into comedy and stand-up comedy and one thing that's very important about doing jokes is there has to be a semblance of logic to it.
	I remember David Cross told me about this black guy who had seen this Wendy's commercial that was big in the 80s or 90s.
	And Wendy's had a taste test, and it was their Whopper, and then they had the worst, grossest garbage burger in the world that was like, the patty was hanging out and it looked like crap.
	Obvious joke.
	And the African was like, I saw this commercial for Burger King, and they had the Whopper, and it was perfect, the way they produced.
	Then they have the worst burger you have ever seen!
	Next to eat!
	Not fair!
	It's not a fair contest!
	Of course they are going to choose the Whopper!
	And everyone in the audience is like going, oh, oh.
	You should be eating Wendy's old-fashioned hamburgers.
	Take the Wendy's taste test in this Sunday's newspaper and cash in on these good tastes.
	That's the one before they started taking shots at other companies.
	Right.
	And David had a terrible bit once.
	He was talking about the airport and he goes, I'm at the airport and they're selling luggage.
	If there's one place where you don't need luggage, it's at the airport.
	You brought your luggage there.
	And it's like, dude, people's luggage breaks.
	And if there's one place where they realize that this hamburger, I mean this suitcase ain't gonna hack it no more, it's at the airport.
	So they throw it out and they repack their bags there with a brand new shiny one.
	You don't think of that when your shit's in storage.
	Similarly, look at this guy's logic here about how stupid us conservatives are.
	I'm always open to hearing stupid conservative stuff, but they never get it right.
	I saw the left bitching about what babies we are for being upset about Dylan Mulvaney.
	And you're like, guys, you made drag queens promote Jack Daniels.
	We didn't give a shit.
	We just thought it was weird.
	Dylan Mulvaney says he's a girl.
	So you made Bud Light about sexy little girls.
	That's fucking gross and it's indicative of a greater trend.
	We're seeing grooming with drag queens.
	That's why it pissed us off.
	Because it was indicative of a pattern.
	That's the theme for today's show, patterns.
	Okay, take it away.
	If you let transgender people into a woman's bathroom, it'll be a loophole for predators, you know?
	And if you think that, that means you believe there are guys out there going, man, I'd love to go into a woman's bathroom and abduct and murder someone.
	But unfortunately, I'm not allowed in there.
	So I guess I'm just not going to murder anyone ever again.
	All over the place.
	I guess I'm just done murdering people.
	I'm a murderer, but it says woman on the side.
	Like I know a joke is a joke, but there has to be some logic as the spine to it.
	And has it ever occurred to you, Ranan, that there's such a thing as degrees of predatory behavior?
	For example, leering, lurking, staring.
	My six-year-old daughter is going pee and there's a man in drag next to her in the next stall jerking off.
	That's not murder, but when there's no sign and it says, you're welcome.
	Then when we get there and we go, Hey, I don't like that guy there.
	We don't have a sign to back us up.
	We have to beat him up.
	And then we go to jail because we're violating his civil rights.
	So it's not that the concept was not to prevent murder.
	And by the way, there have been several cases of rape.
	And we have dozens of cases of men with boners in the changing room, not murdering anyone with their boners, not strangling them with their erect penises, but ruining their fucking day.
	Okay, making things very shitty for them like the spa.
	What was it the Wii Spa Castle?
	Yep in San Francisco that guy had a fucking boner around a six-year-old girl We also had the dude the swim team guy he The girls in the changing room said that he would have a boner in the changing room Thomas The fuckin' shoulders out to here guy.
	Something Thomas?
	The one Riley Gaines is mad about.
	Riley Gaines describes his erect penis in the dressing room.
	Not murder, but it's not something us civilized folk want.
	You fuckin' moron.
	Leah Thomas.
	What's his real name?
	I love finding out their real names.
	Like Ibram X. Kendi's real name is Henry Rogers.
	I'm Henry X. You know, it's funny that, uh... Oh, it says... Yeah, this is one of the things they're doing, Wikipedia especially.
	Mark Dice had a great video on this, how in every single instance of a celebrity, how they have alter egos.
	You could, you know, Adam Sandler's real name or whatever the fuck.
	The biggest celebrity you could think of, Tom Cruise is.
	Like Jon Stewart, Jon Lebowitz.
	Right.
	Like, but Tom Cruise is like, everybody's is out there.
	There's something you can't avoid.
	The one person they made the exception for, and won't allow anybody to add to it, is that fucking, the black chick from, uh, Orange is the New Black, that tranny.
	The big black one.
	Oh yeah, Laverne Cox.
	Laverne Cox, yeah.
	So she's Laverne Cox.
	Yup.
	Cause you'd be deadnaming them.
	Right.
	I bet it's really hard to find.
	Look up Leah Thomas.
	Leah Thomas, real name.
	It's deadname.
	That's my deadname.
	I killed that person.
	Well then you're under arrest.
	I like that.
	Yeah, true.
	William Will Thomas.
	Will Thomas.
	Willie!
	His name's Willie!
	Willie had an erection.
	Willie had a Willie.
	Willie still got a Willie.
	Murder someone but I'm not about to break bathroom sign rules!
	It's a false premise.
	So it's just you can't make a joke on top of no foundation.
	Yeah it's it's the left.
	There's no murder.
	All the Trump allegations like that's what I was saying on that podcast earlier.
	I love being criticized but only when it's true.
	You got me defending racism calling me a white supremacist like I have time.
	What's the next one?
	2-0?
	He's right.
	Oh, that's weird that I put that there.
	That is 2-0 though, right?
	Let's see.
	Yeah, I love that little kid.
	That little autistic kid.
	I don't know why it's here.
	It should probably be a final video or something.
	Train guy?
	Yeah, I think he's aware that he looks ridiculous and cartoony when he puts that GoPro on his forehead, but he's as far you go on the spectrum towards Asperger, and his obsession is trains.
	You've seen him before, right?
	This is me after seeing 56091 and 56301 at Clapham Junction.
	Roll the footage.
	Oh, that's what I...
	It's one of the, it's like groundbreakingly uniquely funny.
	You know how you have these African tribes that worship planes like the Cargo Cult in Papua New Guinea?
	You should worship a plane.
	It's fucking amazing.
	That's what I, that's what was my note for this.
	And as he, as everyone just goes, ah, what a weird nerd.
	It is an incredible piece of machinery.
	Like how about I lock you in a warehouse for the next 40 years and you can have all kinds of tool and die things, you can make whatever parts you want and you try to make something even close to a train.
	You won't, you won't be able to.
	It's an incredible feat.
	Couldn't even make the paint that goes on the train.
	The simplest part of this.
	We should be, you know who said this?
	I reluctantly give her a shout out.
	The woman behind Planned Parenthood What the fuck is her name?
	Margaret Gaines or something?
	That sounds familiar.
	Margaret Sanger?
	Yeah, that sounds right.
	She loved Western civilization and men.
	She also loved abortion and eugenics, so she's not the best person to quote.
	But she goes, sometimes I would just sit outside the front of my house and just marvel at the inventions that men have made.
	And that's such a strangely reverential thing for a woman to say.
	You'd never hear it now.
	But yeah, you should sit there and just go, holy fucking shit.
	How about this?
	As men, can we marvel at the only thing that you make?
	Babies, and not kill them?
	Yeah.
	It's so ironic.
	Let's enjoy each other's inventions.
	We'll enjoy your humans, and you enjoy our trains.
	What are you doing now?
	B-roll of Cargo Cult.
	Okay.
	Let's see him go.
	I support his enthusiasm.
	It's accurate.
	Right.
	This is going to be the most almighty scream.
	Chris Guntrip, he knows what to do.
	They all must know him, right?
	They have to.
	He's got to work for the National Railway when he gets older.
	I think he's going to be on time for work when you hire him.
	Why are you on the platform?
	You're supposed to be in the train.
	I've got some bad news, Oliver.
	It's five o'clock.
	You've got to go.
	Your shift's done.
	Look, he's crying.
	When I talk about Western chauvinism, that's what I want everyone in the West to be doing.
	Looking around them and crying.
	Did he cum in his pants?
	Maybe.
	Which brings us to feminism.
	Let's pull up the femme.
	La femme.
	Cherchez la femme.
	Who here identifies as a feminist?
	We are the storm.
	The very form of change that the world has been waiting for.
	You said I was too pretty to fight.
	That's toxic masculinity.
	You don't realize how your behavior is hurtful.
	My youngest boys had like 10 games this month, and then my oldest boy only plays on the weekends and they've both been rained out.
	So I paid 700 bucks for him to be the 15-year-old in this club.
	He's had two games.
	That's $350 a game.
	The other team was like 400 bucks for the 10-year-old, I think.
	And it's going down to like 10 bucks a game.
	No, not quite that little.
	Speaking of Bud Light, I'd like to give a sharp and enthusiastic congratulations to Dylan Mulvaney for acquiring the Woman of the Year award by Virgin Atlantic.
	Look at her.
	And this person isn't even a woman.
	It's a girl.
	So she doesn't even identify as a woman.
	She identifies as a girl.
	Where is she?
	What age are you, Dylan?
	Like 10 years?
	I know she pretended to be Eloise from that famed children's novel where she's in the hotel, right?
	That girl is, I think, like 10.
	So I guess she rocketed through puberty and became a woman?
	Or is it like Spice Girls, Girl Power, where a girl can be anything?
	I think that's fantastic.
	Men are better at everything, including being a woman.
	Uh, here's a fat, ugly chick who thinks she rocks.
	Oh, this.
	So this is, what do they call her?
	Gonzo the Destroyer.
	Is that what this is?
	Yeah.
	Gorlock.
	Gorlock.
	Yeah.
	She's, her hubris, her confidence is insane.
	Her?
	Like, you know, you're a one, right?
	Isn't it a he?
	No, it's a, it's a chick.
	Is it a chick?
	Yeah.
	I thought it was a trans guy to chick.
	I'll look into it.
	Okay.
	I don't think anyone's ever seen its genitals before, so we have no idea.
	That's fair.
	Maybe it doesn't know.
	Not everything, but it plays a big part.
	For sure.
	Well, with that being said, you can take your blindfold off.
	Oh, fuck no.
	Jesus Christ.
	What the fuck?
	That's funny.
	That's good old-fashioned humor.
	And that's what makes me excited about young people today.
	I like zoomers.
	I think they're cool.
	They're funny.
	They hate woke.
	They're honest.
	I think all this internet addiction has actually flooded their brains with so much information that they get it.
	They're like Daryl Hannah in Splash.
	They've just been bombarded with everything and now they have excellent bullshit detectors.
	Like they tried to rig the game.
	They tried to make AI PC, where you can show a proud black woman, but you can't show a proud white man.
	They saw through that scam.
	So what does it say?
	Is Gorlock male or female?
	You slowed down the show to contradict me, so you better hope you're right.
	She, she was featured on the show.
	It might just be nice.
	Was born a man.
	Bam.
	Where?
	Who is Gorlock the Destroyer?
	Like, Destroyer's an image that's been circling around the internet about a morbidly obese person sitting around a group of women.
	Yes?
	Okay.
	She was born a man, but later transitioned into a woman.
	So what the fuck w- Ali C. Lopez.
	Allie, that's a girl's name.
	But that's her trans name.
	Oh, I see, her trans name.
	Okay, good.
	Good work then.
	It's sort of like Scrabble.
	If you question a word and you're wrong, you get penalized.
	But if you're right, you win.
	Only time you're happy to have diarrhea is when you're playing Scrabble.
	So true.
	Especially on a triple word score.
	Here's a chick I discovered with pretty good sprinkles.
	And this seems to be the only place to find good comedy these days, is on some fucking random reel of a stranger.
	Refrigerator running?
	Yeah, yeah.
	You better go catch it.
	Dude, that was fucking crazy.
	Okay, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it.
	Okay, okay.
	Okay, I just did like random numbers.
	Er, I think it's pizza.
	Pizza, please.
	Yeah, come on.
	Hi, Best Pizza Williamsburg, what can I get for you?
	Um, can I get pizza?
	Can I get pizza?
	Tomato!
	Delivery!
	Delivery!
	Pizza Delivery delivery Yes, the address doesn't pop Yes, that's perfect All right, great.
	Well, I'll talk to you then.
	Bye.
	Holy shit!
	Did you get that shit?
	We fucking got his ass.
	Imagine we eat the pizza.
	You just ordered a pizza.
	Hi there.
	Thank you so much.
	We got his ass.
	We got his ass.
	He was like, here it is.
	And I was like, thanks.
	It's the pizza guy.
	And I was like, oh, it looks good.
	That looks really good.
	Williamsburg has good pizza.
	What do you think?
	It looks fantastic.
	No, not the fucking pizza.
	That's shit for brains.
	She's pretty funny.
	You like that?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	She's pretty funny.
	I checked out her whole shit.
	She's got some good ones.
	Like that, actually that one's pretty good too.
	She assumes that guy wants to marry her.
	Aww, I love you.
	What?
	It's so nice.
	I said I love you and it's so nice.
	Okay, we're just getting dinners.
	Like friends and roommates.
	Friends and roommates.
	Yeah, because roommates.
	Yeah, what, we have dinner together, by the way.
	And we watch movies together.
	Yeah, and Michael's here, which would not happen at an anniversary dinner.
	Because Michael's going to film the proposal later.
	I love her.
	All the food in there fucking thing is distracting me.
	keep a secret there's one thing about you that I know because I love you I love her all the food in their fucking thing is distracting me let's see she looks pretty yummy uh jump down to 25 because she her delivery reminds me of Kristen Wiig and I don't know Kristen Wiig but I traveled in her circles for a while and she came here with a comedian boyfriend and they both wanted to make it in the big city and probably because he's a white male
	but maybe because he's not funny but he went nowhere and she went from a bunch of improv boom to SNL and then just shoop Super career childless and alone getting dumped by guys that are interested in fucking a funny chick and then She's old.
	I'm gonna go fuck a 26 year old for a while.
	Just that sort of nomadic Ghost life that the childless have where they break up and they're not even upset It's the life of a gay Basically that these people choose gay lifestyles and then you talk to gays and you realize you're fucking miserable especially as you get older so I'm looking at this.
	It's not particularly funny.
	Don't get your hopes up.
	But I just think about how funny Kristen Wiig is and how in our society if you're that talented and you get the sprinkles then it's sort of a given that you wouldn't waste that on just a family and a husband and kids.
	You got to go and make millions of dollars being a famous funny person.
	And you know what I say to that?
	I say no.
	Hoard it.
	Hog it.
	Hog your talent, Kristen.
	Marry the love of your life.
	Have babies with him.
	And don't share your talent with the world.
	Have your kids laugh their heads off.
	Make traditions that are fucking stupid and hilarious that your husband and your kids can enjoy.
	And don't share your gift with the world.
	Hog it.
	That's what I say to chicks with the sprinkles.
	That should be Kristen and her husband.
	And we shouldn't know about it.
	And their kids should be sleeping.
	Instead, she's like, in her underwear right now, watching Netflix, eating cheese puffs, alone.
	Rich.
	Great!
	We got money, Kristen!
	Um, we've got some callers.
	If callers showed up, should we switch over to that?
	I still got some chick stuff I wanted to see.
	Let's finish the chick stuff.
	Chick stuff!
	Welcome back to Chick Stuff!
	That's a fucking hilarious idea dude.
	It's a bunch of guys, beer drinking guys, and they have on like barstool sports kind of outfits and sit around chairs and it's just chick stuff.
	Like birth control pills and what's going on with that chick.
	Jonas, whatever, who's getting divorced.
	It's just gossip, female health, AOC, abortion, but it's from guys talking about it.
	I'm pretty excited about the new abortion clinic that opened up on 34th Street.
	No lineups, great service, great place to get your fucking baby yeeted out.
	Welcome back to Chick Stuff.
	Here's some guys crashing a feminist workshop.
	And again, I love Zoomers.
	They're fucking funny, man.
	They're crazy, man.
	2-4.
	Yep.
	Got it.
	OK, we'll get it up.
	Shit.
	Pause.
	Volume.
	- This is a feminist only meeting.
	Why are you guys in this meeting?
	It's for women only.
	- I'm actually a woman.
	- 2023, you know?
	We're just here to learn more about feminism, the culture and stuff, you know? - I don't think you're actually a woman.
	I really don't have time for this trolling.
	Like we're trying to have a real meeting here.
	Do you understand that?
	- No, you don't think we're real women?
	Yeah, that's kind of sound.
	You guys are just two boys.
	We're grown women.
	So now you're misgendering us.
	This is Bob and JJ popping in to learn more about feminism.
	We're just trying to learn about feminism and you're just... Okay, so you're feminist, alright.
	So what's the first thing you even know about feminism?
	Uh, men have no rights, and that's obvious.
	I'm her slave.
	It's not that men don't have rights.
	It's that men have not been treating women equally in their entire lifespan.
	So I doubt that you two know anything else about treating... In their entire lifespan?
	No, no, no.
	You need to get out of my meeting.
	Part of these hijacked controllers, you guys are not even allowed here.
	You guys are not even women.
	Get out!
	Miss, we are grown women.
	You need to stop misgendering us.
	Thank you, Bob.
	That was beautiful.
	Obviously, you're not respecting the fact that I am a woman here, along with Yasmin.
	Yasmin, are you there?
	Yasmin, please, please tell these guys, like, they're not even allowed here.
	Yeah, you can cut it out for tonight.
	We're done with you.
	Aren't they awesome?
	I love how they're cracking each other up too.
	Quality.
	That's what I want my sons to be.
	I'm going to send that to them and say, here's your life goal.
	Start doing this.
	What the fuck did she mean men haven't been treating women equally their entire lives?
	Their lifespan.
	Does that mean my 53 years?
	Their lifespan.
	Or every single male's life, his lifespan since when?
	Cave days?
	Do you mean women have never been treated equally?
	There's something that's, sure, that's kind of true.
	You're not equal, you're different.
	You make babies, you're magic.
	Should we, should we punch you if you don't say safety after you fart?
	And you have to name five breakfast cereals?
	Because that's what we did in high school.
	That's what proud boys do.
	Oh, duh.
	Just a quick update on National Jihad Day.
	This is just... The events are starting to just kick off.
	Fun!
	Well Jews, are you happy you focused on mega extremists for the past 5, 6, 7 years?
	Since Trump?
	Guys like me would have had your back if you didn't lock up all my friends.
	I do still have your back, but ADL and SPLC, I think your funders may want to check where their money goes.
	Because BLM, pretty much every white liberal and 100% of Muslims are totally into you having your home country, Israel, invaded.
	And having you destroyed from what?
	River to the sea?
	So... But yeah.
	January 6th.
	That was Nazis.
	Speaking of your maternal instinct going awry... This woman is raising moths.
	From birth.
	Breastfeeding them.
	Two years ago, I found this giant moth sitting on my driveway.
	I had a huge fear of bugs back then, so seeing this giant tarantula with wings scared the hell out of me.
	Now I don't know what got into me, but when she started crawling toward me, I just decided to let my hand out.
	But I had no idea what I was about to get myself into.
	The next thing I knew, I was raising her babies.
	I would feed them, clean their containers, throw away their old leaves, replace them with new leaves.
	This was the closest I could get to being a moth.
	That's Alfred Hitchcock levels of moths.
	You got worms, bitch.
	I was worried that they weren't gonna make it, but then one day, I saw one hatch.
	They've been around for what, two, How old are moths?
	How long have moths been around?
	That can't be right.
	No, that's moths.
	How long have moths been around?
	That can't be right.
	No, that's moths.
	How long have moths been around?
	Yeah.
	Is it two months again?
	It's like moss or glass.
	Let's just say it's around 50 million years.
	Like my wife had these little butterfly, uh, caterpillars she got online.
	So we could, when my kids were older, yeah, 190 million, much older than that.
	Um, and I knocked it over and she was like crying cause they fell.
	And I was like, they're still going to gestate.
	They're still going to pupate, whatever it's called.
	I'll just tape the pod back to this, the roof of the little mesh thing.
	It's like they're dead, you knocked it over.
	And then they all lived and they all turned into moths because they've been around for 190 million years and they're accustomed to the odd bonk.
	They've survived flood, fire, war, famine, disease, death.
	Her apartment is a shield for the elements that have probably been the only trouble for these little guys and she's wondering if they'll survive.
	Yeah.
	Bye.
	Bye bye!
	I wonder why.
	She looks prettier like that.
	I saw every single one of them hatch.
	And when it was time for them to take flight, I let them go.
	Bye.
	Bye-bye!
	And I got to watch it end.
	And I loved it so much that I decided to start raising more.
	And I've been doing it ever since.
	She looks prettier like that.
	I'm a moth woman.
	I love this sort of, like, new, like, hippie black shit that's happening.
	It's so funny.
	They're all like this delicate queen who like sit like this.
	And to think that all of this started because of a moth.
	No, it started because of your maternal instinct gone awry.
	I think if we could quantify what thwarting woman's maternal instinct has done to society, we may find the root cause of all our problems.
	And you know who did a great presentation on this?
	I feel like I know this dude.
	I don't know.
	I feel like I met him through Proud Boys or something.
	Maybe it's just he's such a archetypal British dude.
	The sort of nerdy ponts that you meet in Britain all the time.
	But he did a great video.
	You can zoom out a bit.
	Yeah, the Jolly... You did an interview with him.
	Oh, I did?
	Yes.
	The Jolly Heretic.
	Edward Dutton.
	What?
	Was it for the Gavin McInnes Show?
	No, this was recent.
	This was in the studio.
	If I Google it, you'll pop up with him next to him.
	You had a great interview with Jared Taylor, too, on American Renaissance quite recently, too.
	What's the title of this video?
	Why Did Gavin McInnes Forget About Me?
	Why Do Some Women Treat Migrants Like Children?
	Wow.
	Right, so his contention, well, you play the beginning.
	I think he summarizes it at the beginning.
	Hello, welcome to the show.
	Hello, welcome.
	Hi, my dear old boy.
	Hello hello and welcome to this edition of A Quick Pipe.
	Now why is it that despite all of the negative consequences for females, I'm thinking cologne and so on, of large numbers of young male migrants coming into Europe, why is it that it seems to be overwhelmingly females that are so in favour of this?
	Why do you find so many females Helping out, trying to assist these young male migrants making their way into Europe.
	I would argue too, there's a lot of female politicians involved in the open borders.
	There he is on our site.
	Holy shit.
	Borrowing your hair from the thumbnail.
	And that suit I have very recently.
	Yeah.
	What's the date there?
	One week ago.
	No, May 26th, 2022.
	Huh.
	May 26th, 2022.
	Yeah.
	Huh.
	Yeah.
	My brain is just garbage.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Hi.
	I'm like a senile old man.
	Hey, I know you.
	Yes, Kevin, I'm your friend.
	I've come to visit you.
	Oh, you my son?
	No, I'm not your son.
	I'm your age, young man.
	There's a really good video where he's cooking chicken korma, like in his living room.
	And I watch that from time to time.
	All right.
	So anyway, his contention is... We have five calls.
	What?
	We have five calls.
	Thank you for interrupting me yet again.
	Sorry.
	We had zero before and like nobody was calling in.
	Okay, but why would you interrupt me mid-sentence to tell me that when I'm getting through all the chick stuff before we take calls?
	Go ahead.
	Are you hired by Antifa to wreck my life?
	Hamas.
	So his contention is obvious, you can see where I'm going with this, it's they have this maternal instinct, they see these refugees as innocent sweethearts, and you see he talks about these studies that have done with the childless and the way they treat their pets and how they sign Christmas cards, and this is from Mr. Beatles too.
	they have funerals and remember who was it Seth Rogen and he said I'm glad I don't have kids we don't want kids and then they we show pictures of his wife with their dog in a baby backpack like and then when the dog dies it's like it's like the world has ended like she lost a child which she did in many ways so they love these refugees because they see them as these innocent little wandering lost boys and they want to mother them They're going to rape you.
	That's the difference between your son and these refugees.
	Your son doesn't want to rape you.
	And of course, just as the childless are lost and desperately looking for something to mother from moths to refugees, you have these women who have kids who legitimately care about the future because they want their children to be safe.
	They want their nest.
	to remain uneaten by a fox.
	And when the foxes have a National Fox Day, they come over and they voice their opinion.
	I love Karens.
	Yeah.
	Excuse me.
	I proclaim the name of the Lord Jesus Christ over the capital of Texas.
	I stand against Islam and the false prophet Muhammad.
	Islam will never dominate the United States and by the grace of God it will not dominate Texas!
	I like that.
	I like that.
	That symbol on her shirt says infidel.
	That's awesome.
	In Arabic.
	What a fucking awesome chick.
	That ruled.
	You know how you want to hate fuck someone?
	I want to love fuck her.
	Damn.
	I want to hate love her.
	Yeah, I love you.
	You rock.
	Bitch.
	And then we'll just go out on a funny note.
	The witch trials, the Salem witch trials I mentioned earlier, it's sort of the way that they treat the right now, where they see witches everywhere, racists everywhere, the way they saw witches everywhere.
	Turns out it was mold.
	This paper proposed the theory that a fungus found on contaminated bread known as ergot might have been responsible for the symptoms attributed to witchcraft leading the townspeople of Salem to persecute one another.
	The fungus usually grows on rye.
	It can lead to a range of symptoms, convulsions, choking, hallucinations, gangrene, Resulting in loss of limbs.
	Those who ceased consuming tainted bread early enough might have a chance to recover.
	This explains why some individuals suffering from demonic possessions who sought refuge in churches and stopped eating low-grade rye bread experienced miraculous recoveries.
	And also members of the clergy who could afford higher quality bread were less susceptible to poisoning than commoners.
	It was all mold.
	The witches were mold.
	So they're wrong about racists and they're wrong about witches.
	the Middle Ages, blah, blah, blah.
	I claim many lives in Europe.
	So they're wrong about racists and they're wrong about witches.
	Let's switch the background to calls and take some kizals.
	Yeah.
	You are on the air.
	I'm here to have a conversation.
	This is a fucking loser.
	You want me to learn?
	Share?
	Listen?
	Understand?
	Why?
	Hey, why does everyone get two things?
	You have one thing.
	Thank you for calling.
	It was great hearing from you.
	Bye-bye!
	Bye-bye!
	Gotta turn your mic on there, buddy.
	Oh yeah, gotta turn my mic on.
	Otherwise it ain't gonna work.
	The calls do not come through this big mic.
	They come through this little road mic.
	Small mic, yeah.
	Okay, who do we got?
	Let's hope this works.
	Five calls, here you go.
	253, you're on the line.
	253, you're here with me.
	Hey guys, I'm in Italy.
	Oh, ciao tesoro!
	You there, buddy?
	Can you hear me?
	Yeah, I said ciao tesoro.
	Yeah, dude, it's a utopia over here.
	I haven't seen one homeless person.
	There's no crime.
	There's no criminal element.
	The black guys over here from Africa that are ravaging the West, they just put their heads down.
	They're like, you know, moving bottles of water.
	They're like the blacks from the 1930s.
	They're afraid to get lynched like the Italians have them.
	You know, right where they want them in regards to their, just like, yes sir, I'll do whatever work you need.
	Well wait a minute, that's not what we hear about Sicily and the South.
	Where are you exactly?
	I'm in Tuscany, but I've been to Florence and Rome and Cinque Terre, and so, and then we're going to Milan tomorrow.
	No Chinese.
	I've seen like two Chinese people.
	No, Ryan was interrupting everything with a terrible joke.
	That's why we got thrown off there.
	Jokes.
	Just to prepare you guys for the next callers, I can barely hear you, but I can hear you enough.
	It's like... When you say barely hear me, you mean me or Ryan?
	Now I can hear you better.
	Okay.
	Before it was both, but...
	So that was interesting because I'm used to just walking in fear down the street in any major US city like waiting to get stabbed in the neck with a heroin needle.
	Yeah in the Pacific Northwest you got to worry about junkies stabbing you or giving you sepsis and then in the Northeast over here we have to worry about junkies and you know illegal aliens and black gangs.
	So it's a different threat in every city, but it's a threat in every city.
	It's a threat in every fucking city.
	So that's been interesting.
	And then also I was thinking you guys should like make a commercial and then like post on your new Twitter like Gavin because you know that might help with subs.
	Yeah, that's a good idea.
	It's funny you mention that, caller, because we have a commercial that we're about to... I tried uploading it on mine, but mine will only take 45 seconds, as far as videos go.
	Ah, I see.
	We'll figure it out, but thanks for that tip.
	It was very acutely timed.
	Bye-bye.
	Bye-bye!
	You gotta add that as a little sample every time we end a call.
	Next caller, let's take another call there.
	We've got...
	We're available to discuss things with our people?
	413.
	I only put it out on push notifications because I only want baby monsters.
	If I put it on Twitter, we'll get every Tom, Dick, and Harry.
	Should be the people that pay to subscribe.
	413, you're on the line.
	413, were you here with me?
	BIG FUCKING TITS!
	BIG FUCKING TITS!
	What's up guys, it's Brett the Cop here.
	Hey, buddy.
	Thank you for your service.
	Yes, sir.
	I tried to call him last week, but obviously couldn't get through there.
	The cops were talking about the half cages and the cruisers and how it was a pain in the dick to get suspects in there.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Because they have that divider in the middle of the backseat, too?
	Yes, correct.
	Present day, I'd say the new guys, more so, are so fucking afraid to use any use of force to get these guys in the car.
	It's just a little bit of pepper spray and it gets them right in.
	It's considered resisting arrest when they don't get in the cruiser.
	A little bit of pepper spray gets them right in there every time.
	And they're scared to use that, so you don't think they should be scared to use that?
	I can't think of hearing of any time where a cop got shit for excessive pepper spray.
	No, no, no, no.
	It's so low on the use of force.
	I mean, if I tell you you're under arrest and you pull your hand away from me and say, what are you fucking talking about?
	That's pepper spray worthy right there.
	That's how simple it is.
	I'm glad you brought that up because I've been thinking pepper spray is a solution to so many problems, especially in Manhattan, where if you're caught with a gun, even if you save a hundred lives, you're fucking dead.
	You're toast.
	You're looking at five years.
	Absolutely.
	But Pepper Spray, I mean, I've had it done to me.
	It reboots your hard drive, boy.
	You don't know what's up or down.
	Yeah, we had to get that done in the Academy.
	I had it done twice, but yeah, it's not fun.
	I'd rather get tased, to be honest, than Pepper Spray.
	Yeah, you don't know where you are.
	All right, well, thanks for calling.
	Thanks for the tip.
	Thanks, guys.
	I think, I feel that way too, but when you see at McDonald's, they're whipping all the straws down and stuff and shoving over their plexiglass cookies thing.
	Just be like, and inevitably they're going to go like this.
	Is that all you got?
	Is that all you got?
	Give it a minute.
	Just give it, give it a few more seconds.
	And they're not, and they'll never do that again.
	There's two big solutions to crime in America, pepper spray and dogs.
	And last night, Maddie was saying, no, those dogs are expensive.
	They're 50 grand.
	And to that, I say, I don't, they don't need to be super dogs, just a German shepherd.
	That's that cops.
	It doesn't have to do tricks.
	It doesn't have to know how to smell a fucking bomb or chase a perp, just exist.
	That's it.
	The minimal amount of training so it doesn't shit the car.
	That's it.
	If a bunch of fucking thugs see a cop holding a German Shepherd, their hands are up.
	He doesn't even have to know that he's supposed to bite them.
	Who else do we got here?
	385.
	Hey guys.
	How you doing?
	Good.
	How are you, 385?
	Doing good.
	I just had a question for Gavin.
	Are you familiar with the Instagram account, Drag Syndrome?
	Yes, I am.
	Very familiar with it.
	Damn, I thought I could've showed you something new, but... Alright, well thanks for calling.
	Yeah, Drag Syndrome is a British thing where they take people with Down Syndrome, male and female.
	And they dress them up in ridiculous costumes.
	The thing about Down Syndrome is you're down for anything.
	That's why it's called Down Syndrome.
	So if they took them to the driving range, they would become, they'd say, I love golf.
	If they took them to clean out the sewers with contractor bags and shovels, they'd be like, I'm cleaning up the sewers today.
	It's kind of a gift in many ways.
	But here they dress them up in ridiculous and humiliating costumes, which, by the way, we probably did in the year 1650, around the time of the Salem Witch Trials.
	We probably dressed up the mentally handicapped in ridiculous costumes, and as women, and then we pointed and laughed.
	And they probably danced around going, hello, hello!
	And that was our entertainment back then.
	We have come full circle, and now we are back to... I guess that was when the Dark Ages?
	The Bronze Age?
	We're in some horrible time in history that we're deeply ashamed.
	Like, this is the same as the years with the stocks, where you'd throw tomatoes at the guy.
	That just reminded me of a game I used to play in Canada called throw the tomato at the guy and you'd have a three second head start and then my buddy was a farmer and he had lots of tomatoes that were inedible and you'd have to run as fast as you can and two other guys get to pelt tomatoes at you it fucking hurts.
	We had another game in Kanata, Ontario, where we put on like three shirts, two pairs of pants and some hats, wool hats, and then you have to run across, you're maybe like 30 feet away, you have to run across as everyone gets to shoot at you with BB guns.
	And you'd almost never get hit.
	When you got hit, it fucking killed.
	But there's a flaw in mathematics where if you have seven guys, it seems like you're only doing the running thing.
	It's one seventh of the time, but it seems like you're doing it every hour.
	Like you, you might on a whole session, you might run like two or three times and you get to shoot people all day for that.
	That was fun.
	I got shot point blank range right here.
	I can still feel the scar.
	By Paul McCarthy.
	Not the Beatle.
	McCarthy.
	We were staying at Tom Williams' house.
	I knew Tom would change into his pajamas, because that's what he did every night.
	And his parents were away.
	We were partying there all night.
	So I knowingly cut the crotch off his PJs.
	Early in the night.
	He gets fucking wasted.
	He gets in a fight with his brother.
	And he's lying there on the ground.
	Fuck you!
	I think his brother's name was Colin.
	Colin Williams is a fucking asshole.
	Fuck you, you fucking piece of shit.
	He couldn't hold his liquor.
	And there he was lying on the ground with his cock hanging out of his fucking PJs.
	Oh, the laughs we had.
	We used to call him Pukey Stallion because he'd always get so drunk he puked and he was a mod and he had a Fred Perry on and we took off his Fred Perry because he had barfed all over it and as we're taking it off this pool of barf is like rising up his face and going into his hair so then when we're done with the we take the shirt and throw it away or throw it in the bathroom or something so then he has like corn and shit all over his face and in his hair and Then we would go, what a stallion!
	Look at this guy, what a stud with the ladies!
	And he'd be like, yeah, fuck off!
	And then the girls there called him Pukey Stallion, and that name stuck.
	But that night, the same night as the crotchless PJs, Paul McCarthy had called dibs on one of the beds.
	And I was so drunk by then, I just slept there.
	And Paul was like, I wake up and he's got a gun, like a BB gun revolver pointed to my face, and he goes, get the fuck out of bed, I called this.
	And I go, go fuck yourself, you fucking faggot.
	And he goes, and he goes, oh my God.
	And I was like, wait, what, what, what?
	And I feel blood just pouring down my fucking face.
	And the first thing that hit me wasn't like pain, but it was nausea.
	So I went to the bathroom and I was like, ugh, fuck, ugh.
	And as I'm doing that, everyone is like fishing around my face trying to find the BB.
	And Sean McCarthy, their big brother, was like, we all looked up to him as an expert, he knows what he's doing.
	So he's looking around, he goes, it's gone, it's fine, he's fine.
	It's gone.
	So then it just healed up and scabbed over.
	And I noticed after that, every time I laughed, I'd go, ha ha, and I'd hear.
	And it was the BB scraping on this jaw bone.
	Jesus.
	So I go, Paul, it's still in my fucking face.
	You have to drive me to the hospital.
	So he drives me to the hospital, and I go there.
	They make me take off my clothes.
	So I'm in the robe, and they go, we're going to make an incision, and then we'll have these long tweezers that bend at the end, and we'll pull it out.
	Because they showed me the x-ray, and it was clearly there.
	And it was shaped sort of like a shuttlecock.
	So it created a vacuum.
	So when he grabbed it with the tweezers, I could hear from inside my face, I could hear, This horrible spooking sound.
	And I was like, oh, fuck.
	I think I'm going to faint.
	I feel nauseous again.
	I have a very weak stomach.
	And they go, just lie down, sir.
	You'll be fine.
	Just give it some time.
	I was like, oh, I think I'm going to diarrhea.
	They go, just relax, sir.
	We'll be back in a bit.
	And I go, I can't.
	I don't feel good.
	So I get up and I'm looking for the bathroom.
	There wasn't one in my room.
	And I have my robe on, my ass is hanging out, and I end up in the lobby where Paul is like looking at a golf magazine going, what the fuck?
	And I walk into the bathroom and then I close the door, but not very well.
	And I'm like, what is this on me?
	I'm like seeing stars.
	And so I'm completely nude and just having lettuce shoot out of my ass.
	It sort of sounds like the word floor pedopolis.
	Floor pedopolis.
	And then this woman walks in, as I'm nude shitting, and she goes, oh!
	And then I stand up and I go, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
	And start walking towards her like a naked Frankenstein.
	And she screams up against the door.
	Oh, good times.
	Who's the next caller?
	Well, it would be 727.
	727. 727, you're in heaven.
	What is it like up there?
	So, it's such bliss that you can't even speak.
	Hey guys, how's it going?
	I got a question for y'all.
	All this stuff going on with Israel and all these people and these colleges, you know these are the same people that would complain if anybody on the right came, and they would say they don't feel safe.
	But, they feel safe enough to say Israel can't bomb Palestine, and all these Jews are getting murdered.
	Like, no one ever They don't think like they're contradicting themselves, which is kind of silly because they always do, but... Well, it's funny because a lot of Jews would say, I feel unsafe when I see a MAGA hat or something, and you're like, half of those MAGA people are Zionists who are pro-Israel.
	Probably more than half.
	Probably like 70%.
	Because Trump is a fervent Zionist.
	And then you realize that pretty much every Muslim you see wants you to die.
	And that includes BLM, Antifa, a massive swath of the DNC, the whole squad, AOC, Ilhan Omar, Rashida Tlaib, Linda Sarsour, they all want Israel to be obliterated.
	Yet liberals and Jews and everyone else is focused on rednecks.
	Yeah, it's true.
	I hope they're learning it today.
	I mean, New York City is fucking on fire, not on fire literally, but it's, it's ablaze today with protests against Jews.
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	I live in Florida, so nothing really crazy like that happens down here.
	But, um, Yeah, I don't know.
	I just thought that was weird that these people are sitting there happy with Palestinian flags, that Jews are getting murdered, but anybody comes talking to their campus, they don't feel safe and they have to riot.
	I just think they like rioting.
	It's like fashion.
	They're disingenuous fucking liars.
	It's the same thing with prison reform.
	They want all these black people to get out and marine and they're innocent and at the same time they want January 6th guys to do decades and they want Trump to be locked away and throw away the key.
	They're fucking Bolsheviks is what they are.
	They're ruthless, they have no morals and they're completely disingenuous.
	The modern left has gone full Marxist and full Bolshevik and those are fully evil.
	Thanks for calling.
	I just realized we forgot to draw the line at free.
	I could just cut them off at any time.
	Well we've basically done the show now.
	Might as well make it a whole free show.
	Oh, that's cool.
	That's last night's show.
	Yep.
	Someone's getting a bottom surgery.
	Anesthesiology.
	Oh, that's an anesthesiologist.
	Yeah.
	Got a big old tube.
	Buddy, you don't need to go to school for 12 years for that.
	Someone ripped you off.
	I bet if you sat with an anesthesiologist for a year, you get to the point where you could do it yourself.
	12 years?
	Too long.
	If I'm under the knife, I want the guy who did ten years, but I'm a fag.
	Fucking janitors are here and I don't have a hundred bucks to slide them to do a one-off.
	Because my trainer asked me for me to pay all the way to February because he needs money.
	And I was like, OK, I'll do this, but I get to cancel whenever I want, including like not even tell you.
	He goes, no, no, you got to give me some notice.
	And I go, yeah, I did used to give you some notice.
	But now that I'm giving you another 400 bucks to make it to Valentine's Day, you have to give me something.
	He's like, no, that's not fair.
	It's fucking Puerto Ricans don't understand business.
	They just don't get it.
	We got 518.
	518.
	518.
	Sorry we're late.
	Hey, Gavin.
	Hey, man.
	Hey, guy.
	Hey, what's up, man?
	So, it's been a while since we've had a Super Chat goal donation.
	I figured I'd give you a suggestion.
	Okay.
	Thought maybe you could dye your hair and beard black.
	We could get like a week of cool, cool black hair Gav.
	A week of cool black hair Gav.
	Did you really look like a gay architect then?
	Black hair dye on a beard and like it wouldn't it would last probably a couple weeks on the beard but the mustache it would last like probably a couple months.
	And then the hair?
	No.
	This part of the hair?
	What about your eyebrows?
	Do like Ben Shapiro with his eyebrows.
	Oh yeah, I'd have to do my eyebrows too.
	You see his fucking eyebrows lately?
	Okay, that's a good suggestion.
	I'll write it down.
	That's funny.
	Alright.
	Thanks for coming.
	Have I seen his eyebrows?
	Whoa, those are going places.
	Bro, what the fuck is he doing?
	I'm scared to watch Ben Shapiro this week.
	He's mad.
	Unless you speak Israeli, you're not going to be able to understand it.
	It's like, so, in the West Bank, with our bug-free car.
	And also, you pretty much know what he's going to be saying.
	It's not like he's going to have a hot take where, like, Hamas has some points.
	Now, don't get me wrong here.
	Yeah, there's not exactly a biased... Let's not play the blame game here.
	Hey, okay, guys, look, you know that I'm pro-Israel, but Hamas, you know, They're mad.
	He was shitting on Tucker because he was like, Tucker was like, all right, we know that all that's happening.
	That's terrible.
	But how about the people that are dying by the hundreds every single day with fentanyl overdoses, stuff like that in the border?
	And then Ben stops the video and he's like, he's like, OK, you can't compare rape and killing people to overdosing where somebody willingly does drugs.
	But it's like, yeah, we get that.
	But these are Americans.
	So that means more actually.
	It's it's 20 a day.
	Yeah.
	It's like, I don't know.
	It's just like one life here is worth more there politically.
	How many opioid overdoses are there a day?
	Not in the eyes of the Lord, of course.
	Every life matters.
	But we're talking about... Yeah, no, this is not a good week to watch Ben Shapiro.
	No, I think a lot of people are jumping off board because, like, dude, it's almost like Gino, after he got punched, it's like every show is about, obviously it has to be.
	Well, even our network, if you look at our thumbnails, everyone is talking about Hamas and Israel.
	But him especially, it's like, we get it, you love Israel more than America.
	Yeah.
	Next.
	805?
	805, you're live.
	Hey, how's your International Day of Care going?
	It's fun.
	I'm a terrorist.
	International JFG whiz instead of jihad.
	Go ahead.
	Yeah, I get some projects done, you know, just milling around the house.
	Right on.
	But I'm the guy who called in last week about that James Lafon guy, and I forgot to mention, too, I mean, I don't mean, I feel like I'm just shilling him now, but he's also a big writer about, like, white slavery.
	And I know you just talked about that a ton when you were doing Anthony's show.
	And he's got a whole series of books on it.
	I mean, he might be the only other guy besides Jim Goad who's, like, expert on this stuff.
	He's got a whole... I think it's called Plantation America.
	He's got a book about it.
	And again, really interesting.
	So... What's his name?
	Worth checking out.
	James LaFond.
	L-A-F-O-N-D.
	Okay.
	Yeah, I'll like it.
	The New York Times has just accepted that white slavery didn't exist.
	And it's a myth.
	And the Irish were never touched and everything's been fine.
	Yeah, he kind of contends that America is not built on racism or hatred of black people, but it's more about classism and all those laws that were considered, like the racist laws, are just anti-vagrancy laws.
	So if you don't have a job or you don't own land, you're garbage.
	Right.
	Which is what Jim Goad says, too, that it's all class.
	Yeah, and you know, I bet Jim Goode probably knows about this guy.
	He travels in that circle.
	But yeah, I just wanted to recommend it.
	Check it out.
	Why don't you call his show?
	Alright, thanks for calling.
	How many calls do we have left?
	Two.
	You know what you should do?
	Just cut off this show after the first call.
	No matter how abrupt it is.
	Okay.
	513?
	Should we do that?
	I was going to cut it right after the second read, but...
	By the way, I'm wearing a Nita Fashions suit.
	Oh!
	Look at this cool interior I chose.
	What is that?
	It's like crests.
	Ah.
	Like British family crests with kind of a plaid tartan look.
	Now, do you find yourself doing things that would flap that open more?
	Like, you're like, oh god, it's hot in here!
	Yeah, I do that all the time.
	I go, hi!
	Do you sell watches now?
	Go to NitaFashions.com.
	So, actually make this whole episode for you.
	Alright.
	NitaFashions.com, they're on tour right now.
	Doing tour-y stuff.
	And schedule.
	Yes.
	Check.
	Click on the schedule.
	You contact them via their Instagram.
	It seems to be the most common way.
	And you can make an appointment or you can go see them if you're in town.
	I'm going to be seeing them when they're in New York here.
	They're in New York right now.
	Oh, they are?
	Oh, wait.
	No, I'm sorry.
	15th to the 16th.
	So wait, what the fuck?
	18th to the 23rd.
	OK, good.
	18th to the 16th, did you just say?
	No, I was looking at this.
	But Austin, 15th to the 16th.
	Okay.
	So, yeah, I guess they're going to be in Austin in a couple days.
	We'll be in Nashville tomorrow.
	And it's fun.
	It's a lot of fun having suits that fit you perfectly.
	I got a letter from a guy who said, my son's going to his prom.
	He's wearing Pit Vipers.
	What kind of suit should he have?
	And I'm like, the craziest suit possible.
	You don't want to blend in on prom night.
	You want to get like a tartan suit or something.
	You want to be the most over-the-top dude, especially if you're wearing pit vipers.
	That's the only time in your life it makes sense to wear like red chucks with a suit is your prom.
	All right.
	How many calls do we have left?
	Two.
	Let's get through them.
	518.
	518.
	Sorry we're late.
	Hey, Gavin.
	Did you see the new Nobel laureate for economics that was given to a woman that just Did more of the same debunked gender pay gap stuff?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	She examined like 600 cases and noticed that women make less than men?
	Yeah, I mean, how many times has this been debunked?
	And this is getting literally Nobel Laureate economics.
	Yeah, so it's just woke-ism affecting literally everything.
	And I like, you look at the previous Nobel laureates and it's things that you can barely even understand.
	And then we get to a chick that goes, yeah, a woman in the Middle East who washed dishes don't make as much as the CEO of GE.
	Thanks.
	What a fucking wake up call.
	Ridiculous.
	Thanks for calling.
	I think she's a minority too.
	The quality of dissertations going on these days, like the PhDs you get, especially at black colleges.
	Naomi Schaefer Riley is the only person who ever pointed it out, and she was immediately fired.
	Fired for noticing.
	That's modern America.
	4-0-4.
	Last call.
	Say hello!
	Hello!
	Good afternoon, guys!
	What's going on?
	Good afternoon, guys!
	Good afternoon, guys!
	Look, I actually have a call about the Cops and Robbers show.
	Okay.
	It's about you letting Detective Shitty off the hook here in the past month or two.
	I remember you brought up You know, when he was playing the videos a couple months ago, you had gotten the, gotten him to straighten out the screen just while the videos were playing so that people watching it on their phone could see, you know, the videos.
	Oh, the title and all that?
	And, uh, he's, he's eventually taken and, and messed up the screen with all the, you know, with all this fancy Hullabaloo?
	Overlays and everything.
	The format's great, except for when the actual videos are playing.
	You can't hardly see them if you're watching it on your phone.
	Oh, for the Cops and Robbers, right.
	So you want me to... For during Cops and Robbers, you want the video to be as big as humanly possible, and for the rest of us to be as small as possible.
	Well, I just figured you could line y'all up under the Censored TV logo.
	I mean, you had it there for one or two of the episodes.
	Go crazy with the graphics, you know, at other times during the show.
	But just while the videos are playing, you know, I think it would be helpful for people watching on the phone.
	I watch it on Friday, the following morning.
	You sound kind of like Dr. Phil.
	Do you know Dr. Phil?
	because I can't watch it live I loved watching it live and you had it you had the problem you sound kind of like Dr. Phil do you know Dr. Phil is your brother no no he's my uncle yeah we I can tell Yeah, that's a good tip.
	But you know what?
	From now on, we guarantee we'll have the three boxes under censored.tv.
	And we'll make your videos nice and big, sir.
	Good suggestion.
	Oh, hey, I appreciate that.
	Well, you had it fixed, but then you like to take your shit and mess it up again, so... Yeah, well, it's gonna get re-fixed.
	Thanks for the call.
	Thanks for calling.
	Like our motto is here at the show.
	If it's broken, fix it.
	All right.
	That's it for calls.
	Yep.
	So we're not going to do the mailbag because calls are a mailbag.
	Let's just jump to the final video.
	And this entire episode is free.
	We're good people.
	So that means on the website, you just have the free one.
	You don't have to put up two.
	That's pretty badass.
	Obviously.
	This one is short and sweet, mostly because I have to go pee.
	Headed off to Nashville tomorrow.
	I hope everyone in the vicinity can make it.
	It's going to be a great show.
	Anthony, I don't think he's going to make it.
	In life.
	He will make it.
	Oh, he'll live, but I don't think he'll make it to this trip.
	It's possible.
	It could be a miracle.
	But even if he did, he wouldn't be funny.
	He'd just be like, hi guys.
	This is one of the most consequential moments in this man's life.
	This kid You can tell that he knows something fucking huge just happened and it's important that I shut up and get out of the way because the adults are dealing with a very big deal.
	This is a moment, it seems like an innocuous silly moment, but it's actually one of the something this man will obviously never ever forget.
	Don't bite our boat!
	Don't bite our boat!
	What are you gonna do?
	Get it back?
	Well, play it again.
	It was disturbing.
	Stop fucking with sharks!
	Holy shit.
	Holy shit.
	Don't fight our boat!
	What are you gonna do, get it back?
	Don't fight our boat!
	Well, play it again.
	We can-- That was disturbing.
	What is that?
	Fuck!
	I'm off my goddamn pinky.
	Fuck!
	Don't fight our boat!
	Ugh.
	Stop fucking with sharks!
	Don't fight our boat!
	Stop fucking with sharks!
	Stop fucking with sharks!
	Damn it!
	Fuck!
	I'm off my goddamn pinky.
	Fuck!
	I'm really disturbed by that.
	So if we could please never watch that again.
	Yeah, of course you do.
	- I wanna see it again.
	- Yeah, of course you do. - Get there, like why are you pushing it away?
	Who cares?
	It might get caught in the engine, good. - Damn it!
	Fuck, I lost my goddamn pinky. - The gasp.
	Holy shit, I lost my goddamn pinky.
	That might be a drop.
	Now your husband's deformed, ma'am.
	How do you feel about that?
	Forever!
	It fucks everybody up.
	Yeah, like throwing football to his kid.
	And then the kids at his fucking school call his dad Homer Simpson hands.
	Was it his left hand?
	Let me see it one more time.
	I think it's his left hand.
	Okay, so it's probably not his throwing arm.
	But, like, it's a handy pinky.
	Pinkies are handy.
	Dammit!
	Dammit!
	I'm off my goddamn pinky.
	Oh, you see the blood splatter on there too?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, and you see the stub for a millisecond.
	Be happy with what you got, guys.
	This is the weekend that we acknowledge that we're happy with what's around us.
	We're fascinated by trains.
	We acknowledge the miracle that is childbirth and we hope women embrace it because we're blown away.
	We're very impressed with trains.
	They're very cool.
	And planes.
	And automobiles.
	But they don't hold a candle to you making a human being.
	That is very impressive.
	And we're sick of trivializing it.
	So have fun this weekend, see you Monday, and until then, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

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