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Oct. 20, 2023 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:05:29
S5E12 - RAJNEESH HATES ABDUL (Part 1)

  In this particularly cheery episode, we examine The Bleachers, trans rap, Golden Boy, Golden Hair, modern dance (thecarberrys), fake robots, Peter Thiel, grandpa Biden, Israeli intel, Elliot Page, Elliott Smith, AOC math, 4m immigrants/year, John Cassavetes, Sam Harris, and ramming a thief with your truck more than three times.

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Time Text
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
Get Off My Lawn Friday night, killer queen, top portrayed on the scene.
All the batteries in the water.
Don't you dare touch the die.
Just a black a heart and tap for you.
It just to black a heart and tap.
I'm talking little teens, tiny hat.
Every usually we have more indie bands than that, but that's a super famous pop band called Bleachers.
Remember them?
They had that hit, I want to get better.
Major hit.
And he's from fun.
He's from the band fun.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Man, that guy can write some hits.
He can.
He's got great ears, but terrible eyes because he fucked Lena Dunham.
Wow.
Did you do that as some sort of like chick cache so everyone would love you?
I remember I fucked a slutty girl in high school and it hurt my brand.
So I fucked an ugly, funny, cool girl and it like I replenished the brand.
And then I could go back to fucking a hot chick who was kind of slutty.
Yeah, Lena Dunham is the who's the guy that fucks up?
The Weinstein of the matriarchy.
It's more like working in the Pussy Peace Corps.
Like you did your service.
That's Haiti.
We salute you, sir.
You were in the trenches of her fucking folds.
This band, the vibe I'm getting is like Bruce Springsteen level great.
But if Bruce Springsteen was like the band that went to our school, so we know everybody, this is like another school's Bruce Springsteen, so everybody just looks a little off.
Well, he's got that Nebby Jew look that doesn't really drench pussies.
Leather jacket does not work for it.
And yeah, I don't know if it helps or not.
Their outfits are weird.
They have like little bowling shoes on and then the saxophonists with that oversized shirt.
They kind of dress like cool lesbians.
They dress like lesbians that you want to hang out with, which is rare.
That's a tiny...
Bleachers are the coolest lesbians in the world.
Maybe that's why he was attracted to Lena Dunham, because he's gay.
That song, I want to get better, is one of the catchiest jams in the world.
And this video sucks so bad.
It's infuriating.
Every video should be like beat it.
It should be the singer going to a destination and accruing fans on the way.
He's walking.
And then like someone comes out of their house and someone comes out of their house.
And then by the end of it, they're in the bleachers.
Like it's fucking 10,000 young people that are all gorgeous jumping up and down and fucking, there's a, it's a high school football game.
That would be a good theme for this.
You want to get better at high school football.
That would be fun.
But it's him in his pajamas seeing his psychiatrist and what he's going to spill his coffee, I assume.
Oh, God, that's hot.
And now I don't want to hear talking over that awesome piano riff.
I know.
I hate when they do the music videos.
It makes me sad and sick.
Have you ever put on like a music video version at a party and then the middle part's like, yo, where's the thing at?
And you're like, what the fuck?
I want to see young people getting out of bed, getting ready to go somewhere fun.
Your big problem too is like I think the mechanic, the electronic drums don't hit very hard too, and I agree, like the base of it isn't there.
Have we talked about this before?
Have I had this exact same rant on the show?
You picture it in your head like hitting hard like ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
I want to get better.
And it like kind of hits softer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This should be like...
I want to get better, you know.
That's who your therapist should be, Andrew WK.
Fuck, man.
Like, it's like seeing someone with a gun just start throwing it at people.
You're in big trouble, sir.
And throwing it like this, doing a girl throw, like, hey, you, you kill my family.
Guess what you're getting?
Should have gone wide on that throw.
You're dead.
That's a good way to freak people the fuck out, by the way.
Go to the park with your kid or with your friend and throw with your left hand.
I want to do that.
If I ever do opening pitch, which I never will in a million years, but maybe next lifetime, if I do opening pitch, I'll use my left hand and like run like a spazz first and I go and fall.
That's good.
It's far away, I think.
I think it's like 70 feet.
So when you.
How far away is home plate?
You have to unlock.
They need to know who you are in order to get it.
How far from the pitching mound to home plate in the MLB?
Oh, it's only 60 feet.
So high school kids play the same as the MLB.
He befriended Bruce Springsteen, man.
So that's a direct.
Ah, there we go.
And that explains the leather jacket and everything.
Like literally everything.
The saxophone.
I'm so glad he didn't do a hoarse voice.
It's like glory days.
He needs weight.
He needs weight on his face.
He looked better in this.
If you want to get better, gain weight in your face.
You look actually like a brawler here a little bit.
You look like an Italian guy.
Here, not doing great.
Stop being vegan.
You look like you're helping me with my math homework.
He's an LA vegan.
I think that's probably why.
I'm guessing all that.
He looks like one of those proud boys where you have to take him aside and he has all these questions about girls.
And you're like, okay, I'll coach you for a little bit about how to be a man, but I kind of want to hang out with the guys.
I almost chose this speaking of macho music made by tough guys.
This is a pretty cool trans rap that just came out today.
"Tayla Soul"What do you think of the immaculately, passionately fabulous?
Well, it's miraculous if you exist in the hood.
That's who's killing you, dude.
And if you exist beyond the urge of suicide, chopping your cock off.
if you cut your dick off and you don't want to blow your head off.
This was happening in New York City.
You'll have to dig up the email recently in Times Square.
It was a lunatic street performer.
Yesterday, I put this on Twitter.
Yesterday, there was a woman on the 35th Street station, 34th Street.
Before you start that, African-American woman, she had no shoes on and she was masturbating herself, clearly on drugs, using children's toys.
She had a Fisher-Price phone she was trying for a while.
And we all got to get to work.
So we were just surrounding her.
Check out my Twitter.
We're just surrounding her.
And I took a picture from far away.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
But that's New York City now.
Like, she could have been eating her own feces.
And we'd all be like checking our phones.
Zoom in on her.
I'm ex-Gavin McInnes, by the way, is my name on X. You can see one of the toys there by her right hand.
I sent that to Anthony going, New York still hasn't changed.
He goes, oh, just throw her on the tracks.
But no, the smell would be terrible.
We'd get AIDS blood all over us.
It's best to keep it contained.
Anyway, this street performer was in Times Square the other day, and as everyone was puking, I was like, this is kind of a good jam.
You're tolerant.
I don't hate.
Well, I'm just numb.
I'm numb to the gross parts now.
Now I like listen to the music.
I'm like in that TV show Fame.
I'm like the piano guy with the white beard with the funny accent.
That's how I am when I walk by homeless people.
Let me hear your piano.
think you'll have something there.
sounds like suicide.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Big white nigga, is he saying?
How many people did it take that fix my dick?
How many people did it take that fix my dick?
How many niggas does it take to fix my dick?
Did he say?
Did he say?
Does he have a truck?
Does he have a driver's license?
*music*
Oh, it just got fans.
Anyway, that was great.
A lot of great art going on.
You know how you hear about guys that like they watch so much porn they end up having to watch like trans weird poo stuff?
I've become that way with music.
Like I've done so much.
I've lived so long that now I have to check out my new favorite guy no one's heard of, Golden Boy, aka Fospassin.
He's an African musician who he just put out a Halloween song recently.
You could play this at your party.
No, no, 1-5 you want to start with.
Yes, it's kind of scary.
Kind of like Thriller.
He likes Michael Jackson a lot.
comes up.
Pretty good.
This is his big hit, Dirty Krunk.
That's the next jam.
It's really good.
Just jump in the middle.
Just when you have a party and you've got a good mix on, just stick that in the middle.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Moving.
Whoa, whoa.
And see if people at your house start going, what the fuck is this?
I don't know how you're going to get it on Apple Music, though.
Not ironically, like the cooler things out there are like things that sound shitty.
You know, like that one guy like, right, and if you're not.
So you can't get a club or at a party.
If that was in a mix of other stuff, it would be like good variety.
Yeah.
And if you call that out, you'd be like, I'm lame for not thinking this is awesome, so I'm not going to say shit.
Yeah, I don't, I'm not cool enough to know who this is.
This could be like MIA's Afrikan Boy.
You start shitting on 100 Gex, you're like, what is this?
Fucking sucks.
And they go, basement shit.
This is that drunk driving song that rules by Ethel Rott.
Remember that song from the other day?
I can't stop listening to it.
Estelle something.
Yeah.
Play that song, Jamie, just briefly.
So he has a lot of good songs.
And then I guess someone told him, You know what songs do well?
Songs about a team.
Like a football team or a baseball team.
Okay, turn off the first guy.
You should drive drunk, you should drive drunk, you should drive.
You should drunk drive, you should drunk drive, you'll be fine.
You'll see what I'm saying, then I'm sorry.
You should drive drunk, you should drunk drive, you'll be alright.
You can drive, you'll be alive.
You can make it nice.
You're more careful.
It's not a daughter.
Hey, anyway, you got the idea.
That song is fucking great.
I want to show it to my daughter.
I'm interpreting this as like a bass thing, but I don't want her to drive drunk.
I think that's kind of the point is like this is supposed to be a kid show and they're telling you to do horrific things.
It's almost like the trans talking to kids thing in a way.
But this guy is trans.
Weird.
But to get back to Golden Boy briefly, so he goes, oh, why are you gay?
It is good to write a song about a football team or a baseball team?
Yeah, it's really effective.
And so he goes, okay, he has a song about every single team in the NFL and every single team in the MLB.
No, that's not it.
Is that 1-8?
No, that's Badman Party.
We're just going to play one more of his songs because I've been blathering on about music a little too much.
Here we go.
This is a song about the Mets.
Again, every single team in the entire MLB, I don't care what team you like, he's got a song for it.
I like the Mets.
This is my song.
That's like a genius marketing thing.
I would love it if they'd play this at Citi Field.
New York Mets.
Hello.
The New York Mets, American professional baseball team.
In New York City, what a fuck is it?
Play in the National League Baseball National League.
This is the show.
Anyway, that's a, what do they call this?
Outsider art?
So yeah, the third world sucks and they make shitty stuff.
Our culture, American culture, is way better.
And we don't have anything that's laughable.
Like, we have really cool stuff, like a couple that does modern dance and expresses themselves through modern dance poems where they dance with each other like this.
Except in this particular one, we just found out they're having a baby and the mom's recovering.
You know, she's got postpartum strains.
So this is him announcing that him and his wife won't be doing any more modern dance poetry for the foreseeable future while the baby, you know, they deal with baby stuff.
First seven weeks of having a baby sucks, by the way.
That's what he's trying to say here.
This is our cool culture.
I was making fun of Africa.
This is North America.
It rocks, for example.
Hello, Juan Carberry here.
Good news.
Our baby was born healthy.
Bad news.
Making dances with Elizabeth will be on pause for an unknown amount of time.
Elizabeth and the baby are intertwined and we aren't sure about including the both of them in our content right now.
We're discussing privacy, safety, and consent concerns, but I've come to no conclusions yet.
We'll have to know your thoughts on this topic, and thank you for your patience as we navigate.
Bye.
Hello.
Kill them.
Death penalty.
That sucked.
When I become president of the United States, it's going to be a dictatorship that will make EDM in look like Jimmy Carter.
He's just like if Shaggy was in a Flintstones crossover episode.
Yeah, what are you wearing, dude?
What are you wearing?
You look like a Star Wars extra who gets killed.
And no one gives a shit.
Everyone's like, yeah, good.
Stormtrooper finally hit the target.
As you know, this is the free show.
We take calls.
We go through some emails.
I got plenty of stories that I got to get to.
First half is free.
Second half is behind the paywall.
Censored.tv, $10 a month.
More comedy that you can shake a stick at.
Yeah, I don't even call us right-wing or conservative or Republican.
We're just not left.
We're anti-liberal, as we just saw.
But it's a great way to enjoy Clown World.
Buy one for your cousin.
And the way we make this free is through sponsors like Patriot 1776.
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It's that, but not owned by mega corporations.
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Okay.
Bye.
Uh, ba-dee-ba-da.
I...
So...
I told our man to put I told our man to put up the notice to call.
We'll see what happens with that.
We used to take calls on Thursday nights.
Thursday is the cop show where we have three cops and a felon watch cop videos.
But it got annoying because the callers weren't calling about the cops and the cops would have to sit there while Ryan was defending Catholicism.
And they're like, I drove an hour for this.
As you know, I am a robot bigot.
I fucking hate the, and to be clear, I don't hate machines.
I hate the conversation that includes soon we're all going to be taken over by robots.
Yes, McDonald's employees are getting replaced by robots, but the idea of a human-like butler serving you in your home, when I was at Fox doing Red Eye, at least every second show, we would talk about some crazy robot that's going to make us jobless and it does this, and they'd show the Toyota guy who does that stupid walk.
Probably costs $10 million.
There's always going to be human garbage.
That's why the elites are so pro-open borders.
They want more human garbage to carry their shit around.
So there'll always be someone willing to do it for three bucks.
You see it in the future movies.
They all dress like that modern dance guy, but they're dirty.
So look at this.
A bunch of people dress up in boiler suits and then latex on their face with a fake piece of plastic on the back.
And we're supposed to believe these are robots.
Yeah, who'd they hire too?
Like, stop sauntering, idiot.
The other guy was sauntering.
Yeah, you're not very good at studying humans.
We don't act like that.
Look, it can blink.
Therefore.
And by the way, if they're making these robots, why do they have different faces?
Right.
They should all look exactly the same.
This account is so annoying.
I follow it, but it's hilarious.
Like, it'll just be like a picture of you with an arrow or like your head circled.
And they're like, look at this.
And you're like, what is it?
The earth is flat.
And you're like, oh, for fuck's sakes.
It's all these fucking robots.
It's just fancy Chuck E. Cheese.
Oh, have you seen the ones they're made in China?
Yeah, they're very, very fancy Chuck E. Cheese, and they probably cost $10 million each.
So stop talking about them.
I can't take it anymore.
Wait, what?
Yeah, the eyes.
It's always two eyes being like, huh.
Everybody already knew.
Invisible plane?
What?
I don't know what it is, but yeah, sure.
Okay, there's a plane with a bunch of mirrors on it.
It's magic.
Here's a big heavy scoop.
I'm told that Peter Thiel is an FBI informant.
I know Peter Thiel.
I've hung out with him.
He said he wanted to meet me once.
I said, anytime, dude, you're a billionaire.
I'll meet you anytime.
He goes, oh, that's good, actually.
That's very convenient because I wanted to meet you before I start my day.
Let's start at breakfast.
Yeah, I'll, yeah.
Okay, I'll meet you at my place at 8 a.m.
Yep.
I will, yep, I'm doing that.
So I got up at 6.
It takes me about an hour to get into the city these days.
So I was on the 7 o'clock.
I'm hungover, so I had like a huge thing of coffee.
And then we sit at his house, and I could tell, and this has happened to me a few times, I could tell he was disappointed with my IQ.
You could just smell it in the room.
Like, I bet ugly girls, when they go on dates and the guy sees that you're not like you are in the picture, you could probably see in their eyes and they'll sort of go, oh, okay, I'll pay for dinner, but this isn't going to last.
Yet he had all these questions, like, why do you think that women are recently so interested in politics?
And I was like, that's fashion, whatever.
Like, my answers weren't good.
I think it happened with Joe Rogan, too.
I had like a quarter of an Adderall and two beers when I did both his shows.
And I think he's like, this guy's a genius.
I want to hang out with him.
And then we hung out a few times.
And I was not Adderall.
And I was just like, I think I got a fart, but it might be a shit.
And he's like, what?
Yeah, I'm going to go to the bathroom and just sit down for this fart just to be safe, okay?
Will you be here when I get back?
No, you're dumped.
And I went to, he's got these weird dinner parties with lots of rules.
Like you got to show up and you sit here and sit there, then you got to fucking leave.
Get the fuck out of here.
And I realized while criticizing these parties that that's exactly what I would do if I was a billionaire.
Everyone I find remotely interesting, come to my house at seven, entertain me, and then fuck off.
But I never thought of him as a Fed.
And the problem with Fed talk is, what's a Fed?
Like, is a Fed, what are you saying to the Feds?
Are you just like meeting with them because you're curious?
Like, the least kind of invasive Fed is the proud boy who got caught with guns and they said, you're going to do 20 years.
And he says, okay, I'll tell you if they're planning an insurrection.
And then he never tells them because they aren't.
That's bad still.
You're still a type of snitch, but you're the least snitchy snitch.
But then the worst part is like the other end is with that racist group with the khakis on, what are they called, Patriot Front, where they like went to military school and became federal agents, and now they're pretending to be Nazis.
So that's the spectrum.
Where is Peter Thiel on this spectrum?
In the summer of 2021, Thiel began providing information as a confidential human source to Jonathan Buma, an FBI agent who specializes in investigating political corruption and foreign influence campaigns.
Like, that could be innocent.
It could be like, I'm really suspicious about China.
I think they're doing this.
So that's a good Fed, in a sense.
Charles Johnson, who we know, we had him on the show.
In fact, we replayed the show on the weekend.
If you look at the Gavin McInnes show, it's Charles Johnson there.
He got canceled for questioning the Holocaust, among other things.
And you can't come back from that.
So he kind of went underground.
He helped me with the SPLC case, and he's invested a ton of time and money into facial recognition software.
He's a genius.
But there's certain lines you can't cross, apparently.
Charles Johnson, a longtime associate of Thiel's and a notorious figure in the far-right movement that Thiel has subsidized for a decade, told Insider a statement that he helped recruit the billionaire as an informant by introducing him to Buma.
Why would you tell a journalist that?
A source with knowledge of Thial's relationship to the FBI, whose identity is known to Insider but who insisted on anonymity, corroborated Johnson's account, telling Insider that Johnson brokered a relationship between Thial and Buma.
Insider was able to confirm through an additional source that the FBI added Thial to its formal roster of registered informants.
That's pretty good journalism, I got to say.
Like, I don't know where he is on the spectrum, so that's bad.
But like, getting Charles Johnson and then an insider in the FBI to confirm, this reminds me of old school journalism where the journalist knew cops.
And he's like, yeah, apparently this new chief's full of shit.
And he just he has something on the sergeant, so that's why they pushed him up the line because he could fuck up the whole careers.
You know, that kind of inside.
Oh, it's called insider.
So that's impressive and curious.
I wonder what Tatio's reaction will be.
Don't go through the whole interstitial for these, but we have a new Joe Biden.
Just change the background to Biden.
But I was watching this clip yesterday on the train after doing the Anthony's show.
And I was like, if this is your granddad, okay, at an old folks' home.
And there's like 10 people in the rooms.
They were playing bingo, but it's after.
And like out of the 10, six are just asleep in their chairs.
And there's a weird old person smell in the hospice.
And these people are dying.
And then you're there to visit your granddad.
And in a moment of clarity, he recognizes you.
Not totally.
He thinks that you're your dad.
He's like, Jimmy, my dad's name's Jimmy.
Jimmy, how are you doing?
And you're like, I do look like him when, you know, you guys were friends.
So, yeah, I'll take it.
So that's clarity.
And then he says this, what you're about to see.
And you go back to your mom and you're like, and she's like, oh, sweetie, what's wrong?
I don't know.
What he was saying was just so kind and it kind of reminded me of what he used to be.
And, you know, he's just a good person.
And he wants to help people.
And I could see Jack in there.
I could see Granddad in there almost trying to get out.
Oh, man.
Ooh, fuck.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I like when people are crying and they say sorry.
Yeah, you better apologize, you fucking pissy-eyed bitch.
You're not going to get away with this.
No, I don't accept your apology.
You fucking cry, baby.
Sorry.
Sorry about this.
Ooh, sorry.
Even Tommy Robinson, when he was talking about his kids in our interview, he said.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Okay, wrap it up with the crying fuck.
Think I got all day you worrying about your kids.
Sorry.
But uh.
Okay, so this is your granddad, and he almost recognized you, and he's actually saying something.
For the first time, by the way, your past four visits, he's just been like, you know what, I want a rollo.
Oh, those chocolates, granddad?
Yeah, you know what?
You got a rollo?
I don't.
I'll try to find some, but I think they're kind of rare.
You see them in Britain and stuff.
You don't really see people with Rolos.
But I'll get them on Amazon, I bet.
What?
You'll get them in the jungle?
Oh, no.
You'll get them from a tall, strong woman, right?
That's not what it is.
It's a website.
Okay, I gotta go.
And then this visit, he actually said something.
What is it, Grandad?
Virtually every mass shooting, every circumstance where a number of people had been victimized and lost, I spoke to them.
I learned a long time ago that you've all learned in your life.
You spoke to someone at a mass shooting?
It's Jimmy.
When someone's going through something that is beyond their comprehension, they've never thought they'd have to go through.
If they see someone who they think understands, or maybe they've done something not the same, but similar, it gives them some sense of hope.
And I always get criticized sometimes when I go to these events, I stay for three to four hours.
Stop.
Wait, just stop.
Just outside of my little bit here, you don't stay for three or four hours and answer questions.
You leave immediately.
You're famous for not answering questions.
You're whisked out of there the second you're done by Jill.
Now, your wife, Jill, whisks you away because you can't figure out how to get off the stage.
But I don't know how many clips we've watched of you going, all right, all right.
And then someone else comes out and goes, that's enough questions.
And they shuffle you away.
But anyway, back to the bit.
And look, I'm talking, some of you have gone through a hell of a lot more than I've gone through.
And a lot more than other people have gone through.
And we're in the war.
So it's just, it's just, people are looking for just something to grant.
Something that gives them some sense of hope.
And that's, if I can do a little bit of that, then.
It's, you know, it's worth doing.
It's not for me.
So.
*Rainful sound*
Joe, you're standing on my foot.
Granddad, you're standing on Miriam's foot.
There we go.
I just want to help.
I know you do.
When he says, when I'm looking, I'm reaching out for something to grab.
This is what he's seeing.
Handy kid ever.
I don't know if you ever smelled these little guys.
It smelled like heaven.
Smells so good, especially here in the Nape.
You got to get the nape.
That's the sweetest plum.
We're just on the cusp of that.
You realize.
Dude, within the next 16 things he says, he's going to talk about the smell of a child or how beautiful they are and how he wants to just touch one right now.
It's inevitable.
Literally, actually, yeah.
That's why everybody's...
They're like, please, please.
I bet he has like a belt around his waist, but it's an extra long belt.
It's like a 42.
So there's a long taggle at the end.
I just made up that word.
And that guy behind him has the taggle.
Yeah.
And he's ready to just be like, the word taggle is a tag.
You can drive drunk.
You can drive drive.
You can drive.
Oh.
No raggle taggle.
No word.
Oh.
Taggle uses a name for a bovine animal with a white tail.
So the tail.
Basically, right.
You're right.
This show is also brought to you by Purple Works Nutrition.
It's what I use.
I'm on it right now.
I'm vibing on it.
I was pumping iron today.
You know what I did today for the first time?
The things you put on your shoulders and then you go like that with your calves?
Yeah.
30 of those, 180 pounds.
It's like a hack squat thing, but you could use it as a calf raise.
Yeah, I don't like squat.
My legs are already perfect.
It's these Grover arms we got to work on.
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Yeah, I think I indicated that I shit my pants the other day while working out.
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Little pins and needles you get after you take it, and they stay until you work out.
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Purple works!
You gotta wipe that purple!
You gotta really gotta get that purple out!
I hope they don't mind this.
Who?
Prince?
Purpleworks.
What does Prince look like in his coffin right now?
Probably interesting.
Yeah.
Like a mummy.
Well, I want to see it.
What was his outfit?
I was about to Google it.
Google it?
Oh, yeah.
Wait, what did he get buried in?
Yeah.
Prince Wake coffin?
I mean, this better be a hell of an outfit.
Other ashes.
So he was.
What are you going to do when you die?
I don't know.
I never really had a show.
I know what I'm going to do when you die.
I'll be partying my ass off.
Well, I don't know.
I don't know.
I'd probably consult somebody to ask what the best way is, but I used to be creeped out about cremation because it's like, well, if you...
No, I'm not getting cremated.
I want a big grave, a mausoleum, and I want people to come to it and cry and talk about me.
I want to be in a good spot.
In a way, yeah.
Do whatever.
In a way, it doesn't matter, really.
It matters for the people around.
So you'd want to give on to the business.
But I also want to live knowing that that's going to happen.
I see.
Did I tell you about my funeral?
Yeah, it sounds very fun.
It's going to be so awesome.
I'm going to be in a casket with a sideways baseball hat where the brim is so long and it comes out of the side of the casket.
You have to have a thing there.
I have a guitar in my hand.
And that, again, that's going the other way.
And that needs a hole or a thing in the side of the casket.
I picture, can you have a string like attached to one arm?
And so if you want, you could just like, like how you ring the bell at like one of those Texas barbecue places.
And you pull it and then you go.
And then just like an open shitty cord.
Like I've had all this plan for a long time.
And so I'm in the casket like this.
And then there's tons of smoke.
And the song Ain't No Nice Guy, the one with Lemmy and Ozzy, is playing.
And then I just, I'm like this.
I'm going to have to do this myself because I don't trust the wife and kids to be able to handle this.
Hydraulics.
G. G. G. G. G. G. G. Dude, what a great look for Ozzy.
sorry I know you're dead and everything but So I'm down for most of this song.
It's only when it goes.
That's when it starts going up.
And you can't go too high.
You're going to fall forward.
It should add some straps.
Is that slash on guitar too?
Holy shit.
Is it?
Collaboration.
Dude, Rock Rules.
It's one of the greatest songs ever made.
I wish Rock was back.
Now, the only supergroup thing is out is fucking Colbert and Kimmel and doing a podcast.
Yeah, that's my kind of super group.
That's Rock Wolf.
Let me guess.
They're for the vaccine.
What a ryeballed discussion it must be with those late night hosts discussing COVID, hearing all their different views.
Fuck off.
Imagine without writers, they're like, well, it doesn't really make sense to get all the boosters.
They start coming to the conclusion of like, this is bullshit.
And then you figure out the writers were the ones propagandizing.
That would be fun, but I don't think it's going to happen.
Jump down to LGBTQ and change the background accordingly.
I saw our favorite guy, Elliot Page, being interviewed.
And it's clearly a homosexual, a lesbian woman with mental illness.
And every time they interview, she discusses anxiety or suffering or she's crying.
She's never like a dude.
Like, go up to someone at a Mets game and be like, what's going on?
Nothing.
What are you doing?
Well, I understand you put a book out?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I just did a book about the Mets.
Did you just fart?
Yeah, I did.
Sorry about that.
Okay, I'm going to leave.
That's how guys talk.
This is not how guys talk.
She's been like having a talent in the world.
Do you feel like a weight has been lifted off the end of the day?
Wait, stop, stop, stop.
Is that her new superhero name, Page Boy?
Her memoir.
His memoir, Page Boy.
Oh, his memoir, Page Boy.
Okay.
I love that you've got a cute button.
Oh, well.
People have been very kind.
Look at that.
The gulping and the eyebrows.
I love talking and being in pain.
That's one of my things.
Yeah.
And I realized, I was like, who does she remind me of?
And I'm like, you're not acting like a modern man.
You're acting like a 50s, 60s guy.
She's like a cool 60s guy, like John Cassavetes.
Shared how it's helped them or how they've connected with it.
That's meant the absolute world to me.
And yes, having that book coming out was one of the more anxiety-ridden times of my life.
So it does feel like the weight's lifted and I'm just...
I mean, I wish you'd lifted weights.
This is a drama club assignment where you have to try to sound like a guy.
She sounds like a girl who's been told to talk like a guy.
Look at those fucking eyebrows and those forehead wrinkles.
Is that you pensive?
Why don't you just have a toothpick in your mouth while you're at it?
So thankful for people's support.
Has the reception been like to page away now that it's counting away?
Oh, the reception of her book, Page Boy.
I thought it was like her character, PageBoy.
I'm dead naming her.
By the way, speaking of John Cassavettes, I think he might be the coolest person in history.
I looked up his Wikipedia after I was researching who she reminds me of, and he's got a gun in his belt on his Wikipedia page.
Yep, he's packing it.
Oh, is that like a cop, probably from a cop show?
As Johnny Staccato, which is American private detective, detective shooter.
He totally changed how movies are made.
And he was a great actor, too, in Rosemary's Baby.
And more importantly, though, his outfits in Rosemary's Baby.
If you want to know how to dress, just Google Image Cassavetti's Rosemary's Baby and drag those pictures onto your desktop folder.
Look at this guy.
Every scene was perfect.
All right.
His casual wear, his cardigans, his suits, his baby blue suits.
Look at that sweater.
What a guy.
I want to get sweater.
Well then, follow Cassavetti's.
That'd be a good idea for a clothing line.
Oh, the turtleneck with the blazer?
That's pretty cool.
I want to try that.
That's fucking hard, dude.
I don't think you got it.
I saw somebody do it somewhere, and when I mean square, I mean you're literally shaped like a cube.
That's okay.
I know, but there's certain looks you can't pull off when you look like that.
Cubes are cute.
Oh, I like that.
I have a pair of those pajamas.
Even his pajamas are great.
Classic pajamas.
And go back to the Wikipedia.
You gotta see this guy's signature.
It's smiling.
That's the best signature I've ever seen.
An upside-down arc.
Okay, so should we take calls?
Did you get a notification?
No.
I didn't.
Oh, he said ready to send it out.
Got an update.
Ready.
It didn't go out yet.
If you said it was 118, then I'm guessing it did.
He's a man of his word.
Don't worry.
I have a million things to talk about.
Like these.
Well, I guess we should talk about Israel just briefly.
I'm amazed that everyone is assuming that the intel they're getting is legitimate.
Like the whole bombing of the hospital thing.
The Israelis bombed up a hospital in Hamas.
Children are dying.
I don't believe you.
Oh, it was actually...
No, it was actually Hamas.
They were trying to send a missile to Israel and it blew up and it didn't blow up in a hospital.
It blew up in a parking lot.
I don't believe that either.
Like, I'm not listening to anything they say.
I learned two years ago, maybe that Pearl Harbor, they knew America knew Pearl Harbor was going to happen and they got the best boats out of the way and they allowed it to happen so that they could justify getting involved in world war two.
I learned that a, 75 years after the fact?
So you think you're going to have daily, reliable intel Via fucking Twitter or anything.
So after all the drama yesterday, it turns out the Gaza hospital wasn't bombed.
Who says the parking lot was?
I don't believe you.
And 500 people didn't die.
The only things that you know are things that have had some aging, some time to foster.
And one of the things I know is that the Islamic world isn't interested in taking in any Palestinians.
And that proves that the Palestinians are in a certain spot for a reason.
And they are meant to be martyrs.
They're meant to die.
And I'm talking about the Islamic mentality.
The Islamic mentality is don't take care of them.
We need them for optics.
We need them as victims.
Go to 25.
But Gavin, they're showing you a blowed up parking lot.
Are they?
What's crazy about the situation in Palestine?
One thing that I can't get my head around is why is it that Palestine is surrounded by other Muslim countries with more wealth than Amazon, Google, and Microsoft combined, and yet nobody wants to bail out the brothers.
For nearly a century now, no one stepped in to help them.
So it begs the question of what's actually going on.
Do you know what's crazy?
This is my favorite types of things, by the way.
I call it the errant thread that unravels the whole sweater.
Can you turn it on?
With more wealth.
You only show something twice if it's like someone falling.
That song makes everything cool.
Heavy.
You want to say something with it?
Yeah.
Let me see it.
Let me queue it up.
I think it's called...
Look up my Nita Fashions tweet.
Maybe we'll do our final ad shout-out to that music.
Oh, yes, I got it here.
Okay.
Okay, it's going to take some setting up.
This is spontaneous, folks.
That we go.
So you can show those pictures in the background.
And when you get the song.
Those are the Diswannis.
They are Indians who grew up, born and raised in Hong Kong, which is sort of China, but it's Britain.
And they have Indian accents because they don't assimilate.
And they hang out with other Indians and have for generations.
Talk about a hybrid of cultures.
They have nothing in common with China.
Some in common with Britain.
Okay, where's the music, bro?
Did you get the song wrong?
Yeah, I thought it was called Something About Swam.
So never mind.
Well, that was a fucking over.
Nope.
What the fuck?
Won't that Instagram thing have original audio or whatever?
We're wasting everyone's time.
Yeah, no, we can't.
Because it just goes to him talking about it.
Right, okay.
You know what I'll do just for fun?
I'll delete it later.
I'll say we are taking calls.
Yeah, everybody who subscribes should know the thing.
What's the number again?
718 400-6959.
I'm about to give away that we've recorded this Thursday and it's not live.
Uh-oh.
Sorry, y'all.
Sorry, y'all.
We're in Dallas.
What do you think?
We're magic?
And I don't think I can do a show on Monday because I'll still be on my way back and I have to do another trip for a surprise show.
Oh, it's Goose.
Synthwave Goose.
I had an idea when I was at Nita Fashions picking out some suits.
I got a black cashmere suit, a brown cashmere suit.
I got a suit with Gav my face as the lining.
But I discussed with them a private fitting where 10 elite baby monsters pay, I don't know, 200 bucks.
And we all sit and drink whiskey and tell stories while getting fitted and choosing swaths and being measured.
We'd have to make it as little as like, I don't know, 15 people.
You know, big wigs.
And it would be like the Illuminati, but censored.tv.
The Illuma El Swani.
Yeah.
That sounds cool.
Go to NitaFashions.com.
Find their Instagram, Neatafashions.
Get sized up.
Their tour is all but over.
Yep.
Well, they're in New York right now, right?
And then they're in Boston and Jersey, as you can see there.
Chicago, has that happened yet?
No.
Boston, Chicago.
Boston's next.
Wait, go back to New York?
Because they're still in New York.
They're here till the 23rd.
They've got all weekend.
All weekend in New York, then Boston.
There's a lot of baby monsters in Boston.
You think Bostonites hate New Yorkers, but maybe they like us because we hate New Yorkers too.
Chicago and then D.C. on the 1st of November.
This is all on their site, which is, is it nitofashions1word.com?
That's correct.
All right.
Let's get back to the show.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's jump down here and get serious for a second here.
I was watching Fleckis' show, and AOC was dropping some math on us.
And I was like, this is why Marxists want to take over education, and this is why education is so bad.
Because when you control the numbers, you control the thoughts.
And you can barf out ridiculous mathematics like this, and no one thinks to check it because they don't know math.
So go to 3-3.
The people coming to New York City today are nothing compared to the daily amounts of people that we saw coming in through Ellis Island in the first half of this century.
We're seeing 12 million immigrants that passed through Ellis Island between 1892 and 1954.
1892 to 1954?
That's like 66%.
Okay, so that's enough of that.
So she's right.
It was 62 years and it was 12 million people.
That's just under 200,000 a year.
That is what New York City is doing now.
Okay?
So when she says not even called nothing, nothing.
We have an immigration background.
No.
What is this?
Just a Trump, but like an American sort of motif?
Nothing.
No, it's not nothing.
It's exactly the same.
New York City today is taking in $200,000 a year.
That's what we took on in those 62 years she's talking about.
But those 62 years, we were building the country.
We were essentially staffing the entire country with farmers, lawyers, doctors, laborers.
And this was the one port, was New York City.
And it was a totally different mentality back then.
They were vetted.
We made sure they didn't have diseases.
But you also had to have like a notice, a little letter from someone saying you're worthy.
Anyone had scurvy was gone.
Like they were heavily vetted.
And even the trip itself was very expensive for the people who were doing it.
And, you know, the trip itself is a vet.
That's a punishment.
People died on that route.
So there's so many things wrong with what she just said.
We're getting trash.
Brown trash is coming over the border right now.
No, not just coming over the border, coming to New York City right now.
And they're getting 40 grand or it's costing us 40 grand.
They're getting cash.
They're getting hotels.
They're getting fed.
You were on your own with Ellis Island.
And by the way, I went there recently and there's a big sign above you that says, be loyal as you walk out.
I don't really see that.
They in fact encourage the opposite when you come to New York City.
I think it could be interpreted as be loyal to where you came from, which is like anti-assimilation.
Don't forget the country you came from, be loyal to them.
You think that's why they painted that in Ellis Island?
It could be interpreted that way.
If you're coming from a different country, Don't interrupt the show with retardation, please.
It means be loyal to America.
Be a loyal American.
That's what they want it to mean.
But if you're coming from wherever, you're going to be like, I will be loyal to Mexico.
No.
Not that they come to.
No, they were passionately American.
They loved America.
A lot of them would change their names.
A lot of them would forbid their mother tongue be spoken in the household.
So you'd have Italians who were born in America and they wouldn't know any Italian, even though their parents had a thick accent.
So that's, and here's the other reasons that it's wrong.
Oh, and one more detail, too, about that era.
It sucked.
It was horrible.
Check out Gangs of New York.
Scorsese made Gangs of New York to say, we've been through this before, and it's okay.
And it's like, really?
There's nothing but feces all over the streets and people dying.
So I don't think Gangs of New York is a great pitch for open borders.
And then fifthly, it's hard to find the numbers on this, but basically we accept 1 million legal citizens a day.
I mean, sorry, a year.
And that's a bunch of shit, too.
That's families.
Like when you see an old Chinese lady picking up cans off the street, that's someone who is legally here and was sponsored by her son.
And I guess her son abandoned her or something.
I always look at them and go like, who abandoned you?
How did you get here?
So that 1 million involves a lot of shitty people that aren't helping this country at all.
And then illegals is a very hard number to dig up.
They'll tell you 11 million are in the country.
And Coulter's broken through that research and proved that it's more like high 20s, low 30s.
Let's say 30 million illegals in this country, not 11.
A lot of the times they say most people come here, they violate visas.
No, those are most of the ones that are on record as having come here illegally.
You don't have the numbers for the ones who come here illegally.
And it takes forever.
Fuck, I hate Google.
It takes forever to get the real number.
And the real number is 3 million a year, 3 million illegals.
So that's 4 million people coming every year.
And AOC is like, yeah, but the 200,000 that we used to take into New York is nothing compared to the 200,000 we take in today.
No, 200,000 is very similar to 200,000.
It's in fact the same.
So these Marxists have destroyed the mass part of your brain so they can say garbage like that.
So they can say that 200,000 is the same as 4 million.
Well, it's not.
In fact, the 200,000 we used to take in in Ellis Island is nothing compared to the 4 million we take in today.
Those are the real numbers, AOC.
Oops.
That means we got some calls.
Okay.
We've got 17 of them.
All right, really?
So let's change the background to the calls.
I'll open this machine for emails, and then we'll go behind the paywall fairly soon.
Sounds good to me.
That sounds good to me, senor.
So we got 985.
985, you are live.
Yo, is this a Cops and Robbers show early, or is it just regular show?
No, this is Friday's show early.
Okay, okay.
Have you seen the shooting of that guy, Leonard Keir, the wrongfully convicted guy, apparently wrongfully convicted?
Oh, we're going to discuss that on Cops and Robbers, or I should say we did discuss that on Cops and Robbers.
That's the Innocence Project guy?
Yeah, yeah.
He was speeding like 100 and a, I guess like a 65 or 70.
Yeah, 70, 170.
And he gets out all bucking shit and then wants to fight the cop, tries to strangle the cop, choke the cop.
And the cop tased him, did everything he could, and then, you know, he couldn't do nothing more, and then he shot his ass.
And they're all crying over it.
So just wanted to see what you guys thought of that.
Well, get in a time machine and watched last night's show, and you will see us discuss this with the cop.
It's a very interesting case.
And the thing I like about this case is it lampoons the Innocence Project, which AIU on our show has been great at lampooning.
Isn't it weird how the Innocence Project only focuses on black dudes?
Like, are there no patriots?
Like, are there no cops?
Not that blacks can't be patriots, but are there no like fucking white priests that have been arrested and are innocent?
It's such a weird, fetishy thing to focus on.
And it presumes that the justice is not a lot of people.
It's working.
Okay, so check that out.
That should be on the site now for you to watch.
Okay.
Also, Kamawa said DIE instead of DEI.
Oh, nice.
She's promoting our shirts.
All right, thanks for calling.
So go to the site, Ryan, now that we're still in the free half and show those DIE shirts.
I think it's my favorite shirt we have here at the store.
I was thinking on the way to work today that I'm going to promote that on social media.
Oh, there we go.
You don't have to cut to the link.
It's on censored.tv under shop.
And it was the graphic designer's idea.
I had really sinister ones, like blood and stuff.
And he's like, no, let's make it look like a kid's show.
So then you can wear it in public.
It's confusing.
Dude, if you like rolling up your cuffs, which I do, it's perfect for it.
It folds right over.
The only thing is there is a nice little detail where it says censored TV and it will cover it up, but it rolls so good.
It rolls.
It rolls so good.
Come on, babe.
Make it roll so good.
We're clear on that math, right?
New York and Alice Island took in $200,000 a year.
Right now, New York is nothing.
We take in the same we took in in the peak of American immigration, but that's just one city.
As far as the entire country goes, we take $1 million legal and $3 million illegal, $4 million.
$4 million.
So she's retarded.
Retarded.
We have 469.
469, you're all mine.
Yo, Gavin, how's it going?
I had a question on why the left doesn't use...
Because if it's part of evolution that they're gay, I mean, wouldn't that make sense?
Well, it's not hereditary.
Oh.
Okay.
And secondly, it's just like being an albino or having fucked up teeth or losing your vision in one eye.
It's abnormal.
It's an abnormality.
But you know what I was thinking about the gays?
Greg Guttfeld always said the reason they're so gregarious and nice is in the cave days, if you were queer, that would be weird and they just drop a rock on your head.
So you got to be like, hi, everyone, don't kill me.
But that doesn't make sense because it wouldn't evolve.
It's not hereditary.
Yeah, true, true.
Well, I'm glad I didn't bring that up with anybody because that would have gotten me fired.
All right.
Thanks for calling.
But it is possible there's a trait in our brain where when we sense that we are a runt, like say we have shitty legs or something, there's probably something in our brain, in our DNA, in our evolution that goes, be funny, dude.
Be funny or you're going to get a fucking rock to the head.
Trust me.
Like Crip Daddy, R.I.P. One of the funniest guys I ever met, a master of Twitter.
And I said to him, I was like, do you think you're partly so funny because you're such a hideous gimp?
And when I say hideous, I don't mean ugly.
I mean he wasn't a mild gimp.
It was like through the roof.
He was barely there.
I mean, the guy died of pizza.
Let's take one more call, one more letter, and then we'll get behind the paywall.
517.
517, you're in heaven.
How's it going, Bevo?
Hey, man.
Hey.
So this is going to sound pretty retarded because it's from a show, like, I don't know, probably five or six months ago.
But you said that you came to Adrian, Michigan?
Yes.
Why?
Because it's such a small town.
I grew up right by there.
I grew up in Hunstead.
I can't say.
Okay, I'll say.
There was a Proud Boys meetup.
Ooh.
Yeah, at some dude's house.
I'm writing a book on Proud Boys, so I attend every meeting I can.
Wow.
Why didn't you tell me?
I guess because I don't know you.
It's not a good reason.
Dude, we can be friends.
That's all I'm saying.
Oh, wait.
The line's getting weird.
Hello.
Hello.
Thanks for calling.
What?
I didn't hear you.
We filmed this under a tunnel.
Okay, let's read one letter.
This guy sent in a clip called Golden Hair, and it's some racist dude making fun of Chinese people, which is annoying.
And you'd think for all the shit Asians are getting from the thugs in New York City, you'd think a white guy would be a little more sympathetic.
But this little brat is making fun of Asians.
What?
Why, dude?
That's such hack humor, too.
How long have you lived in Singapore?
Singapore, nine years ready.
Nine years?
And then before that?
Two years in China, then summer, five years in the States.
In local schools, only one person have to do anything.
Always then I want China, same thing.
They call me Jingfa.
Jingfa, golden hair.
Golden hair.
How long have you lived in Singapore?
Your parents are the meanest parents in the world.
And the thing I don't get about this is, don't your parents speak normal English to you?
Like he learned English from people who are shitty at English?
Or maybe it's like if you lived in Jamaica and you were white, and your parents were British, you'd want to sound like the way other people sound when they speak English.
So you'd add a really there?
All right.
That's enough of the free part.
We're going to go behind the wall now.
I like to end the show.
I'm not going to throw all my notes away because I still need them.
But I'm going to end the show with what we always say.
And you freeloaders are going to regret it one day because you should subscribe to Censor.tv.
It's very fun.
And we're going to go have fun behind the paywall now, which means Ryan and I will be naked and we're going to pull out our penises.
That's correct.
Our penis, sorry.
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