After checking out five amazing Australian bands, we invent a TouchTunes game called "Ping Pong DJ" and try to figure out which New Yorker is more cringe: Jon Stewart or Michael Imperioli. Then, it's Mock Environmentalists O'Clock as Energy Secretary Jennifer Granholm bullies her way across America trying to justify electric cars. The show ends with a deep dive into tranny suicide, ex-cons VS. Proud Boys, racist commercials, fednapping justice, and cringe rap from the 80s.
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McGuinness.
Never said a word, never said a hard with the twinkle of an eye, and the twinkle of the ten, and the mother,
I'm not a mother fucker, turn it in your eye Jesus fucking curse, you're mine, you're mine, yeah White woman White woman White woman White woman White woman I never said a word, yet I got caught, I never said a word, and yet I got caught first.
I had to turn it taking you out to fit Sorry to begin your Good Friday by taking the Lord's name in vain, but that was Australia still destroying, still kicking ass and taking names.
Not sure what's in the water over there.
Kicking ass and taking the Lord's names in veins.
That was Jesus F. Christ.
The F is a bad word.
And that's a band called Hits.
Guys, if you're naming yourself, come up with something that doesn't Google.
Jesus Christ and hits are basically ungoogleable.
We've got to move over to sponsors.
That's the line, okay.
All right, that's better.
Uh...
I've said it before, and I'll say it again.
Australia is the global epicenter for Western music.
Holy shit, are they good?
So that's Hits.
The Terrys from Garagong.
Garingong.
New South Wales.
Kind of like a skate, indie, surf rock dudes.
Every song's a fucking hit.
This is the Terrys.
previous band was hits Is it the oppression of this COVID fascism that they experienced over there that made their art so good?
How about the Terry song Silent Disco?
Another sweet jam from the land down under.
I think it's the sun.
You think that's a jam?
That's not a jam.
I call this a jam.
It might sound generic if you're not into this kind of music, but if you are, you can tell that it's pretty fucking unique.
You know, the beginning's normal.
I hope this day never ends.
Just so groovy and happy.
It's great for like pre-gaming, you know, or in the car on the way to the party.
Great way to set the tone.
We're going to parties as a kid.
I don't know.
In our 20s, it was like going to work because I knew I'd have to be the star of the show.
Me and Derek Beckholds would have to be entertaining everyone.
Coming up with things to do.
I don't miss it.
It was real.
It was fun.
It wasn't real fun.
How about old Mervs from Perth?
And their hit, Sweetheart.
It's happening.
Oh, I like this.
You know this song?
No, I like it, bro.
That's a bad sign.
Too fast you would never leave me stolen.
Right in front of my two feet.
Cause the summer left you long and gone.
You're in love for the winter.
You're better off by the way.
Or how about Rum Jungle?
And there's Smash It Dash of Speed.
Smash It Dash of Speed Sometimes it can be all, but it's it won't all not room in your brain from Adelaide.
I'm going to be a little bit more.
Or how about the Grogan's?
Just enjoy the...
I mean, I always say where in Australia they're from.
We don't know Australia, so it doesn't mean anything to us.
It's not either gonna go, oh, Adelaide, huh?
They're really churning out some shit.
Let's just say Australia.
I think of every day for you to come back my way, my way.
You never thought I cared.
Awesome.
Also from the Grogans, I'm not sure.
We'll be right back.
just groovy indie vibes hanging out All right, that's enough.
So that's five amazing Australian bands: Hits, the Terries, Old Merves, Rum Jungle, and the Grogans.
And we are sponsored by one, two, three, four sponsors today.
Today is a free show for some, and we cut it off halfway through.
let's start with Nita Fashions.
I am not wearing Nita Fashions today.
I've got a Ted Baker blazer, Paul Smith.
Oh, this shirt is Nita Fashions.
But you'll notice that I look like shit when I don't wear my Nita Fashion suits.
So they're on tour.
I'm going to meet up with them here in New York.
And it is fucking awesome when you go there.
There's very few male spaces anymore.
Go to McSorley's Ale House, one of the oldest bars in America, definitely in New York.
I think it's 170 years old now.
Full of chicks.
It's a dive bar.
You know what you order there?
They have two kinds of beer, dark and light, and they give you two for some reason.
That's a dude thing.
Full of chicks.
Barbershop, girls getting this haircut, or it's some mom sitting there while her son gets a haircut.
What are you doing here?
Boxing gyms, there's some girl hitting the heavy bag so lightly you could stick your balls in between her glove and the bag and you'd be fine.
Not legally, but physically, you'd be totally fine.
Well, with her consent.
Excuse me.
I'm trying to talk about how women don't belong in here.
Would you mind if I hung my scrotum?
I'm going to stand on this bench and if I would just hang my balls there and you would punch my balls as you hit the bag.
It's not sexual.
I'm not one of those guys who likes to be kicking the balls when he comes.
What other spaces are there that are left?
Barbershops, dive bars, tailors, boxing gyms?
I mean, the tailor is one of the few.
And I did see a chick there once coming in.
I was like, I look at the Nita fashions guys.
I'm like, what the fuck's going on here?
I felt like I was being invaded.
And they go, yes, they come in sometimes, buddy.
It's not easy making a suit for a lady.
A lot of conditions, and I'm not experienced.
And they very often have alterations.
When you have alterations with these guys, you just FedEx a suit or whatever back to them and they'll fix it for free.
But anyway, pull up their sketch and you go meet these guys.
They measure you up.
Now they have you as a blueprint.
You know how expensive that is?
Like Prince had a body shape of himself and he had a whole staff making him outfits.
So fucking gay.
Like 24 hours a day coming up with new looks for him.
And they had a bust and legs and everything of him that they could try and see if it fits.
You have that now.
So they have your blueprint.
You go there.
You get measured.
You're inseam, your neck.
I like to get generous with the neck.
They don't like it that I can fit a whole finger in here.
I say, guys, I need, there's nothing worse than feeling constrained, especially in the summer.
So I asked them to be very generous with the neck.
With your waistline, I don't know, we're all getting fatter, right?
Size a unit a year.
But once they have your shape, then you can just order whatever you want.
But anyway, the fun part of this is not the measuring per se.
It's the going and looking at all the textiles.
And for the shirts and the suits, and then what buttons would you like?
What kind of pocket shall we do?
And then they have a whole thing of collars.
You can see the Tucker Carlson type collars or the various button downs.
You can see all those and you choose this, choose that.
Looks like a menu.
And then magically, a few weeks later, boom, your order appears in the mail.
And it's way, getting a tailored suit in New York is five grand.
You can get a suit for as cheap as a grand and a shirt for as cheap as 50 bucks.
Or you can go up to a $200 shirt that's thick as shit.
Like it barely wrinkles.
It's so thick.
I have both.
In the summer, I wear the thin.
In the winter, I wear the thick.
Anyway, pull up this schedule.
Los Angeles.
So they're starting, go to the top.
This is on their website.
What is it, NitaFashions.com?
It is.
So they're in California starting in a week.
In about a week, they've got this big tour.
San Francisco, LA, Scottsdale, Denver.
Keep going down.
Seattle, Houston, Dallas, Austin.
They won't be in Dallas when we're there, right?
Who cares?
I'd rather see them in New York.
So New York, they rent a hotel room, and you go in there to the hotel, and all the shit's laid out.
So in New York, we only have really one day, the 18th.
If we're flying in the 19th for the 20th show.
Right.
Then they're up to Boston, Chicago, Washington, D.C. I highly recommend it.
All right.
We've been getting into games a lot.
Games, you like games.
I'll never forget this.
It was on TV Carnage, this reality show.
And it was a dating show.
And it was people getting together.
And I think the producers would purposely choose the biggest dorks in the world.
And I have this one scene memorized.
He's getting a massage.
He's all like this.
You know how you are when you're getting massage?
You look weird.
And the girl was hot and cool and funny and interesting.
And he was a fucking brutal nerd.
And he goes, you like games?
And she goes, yeah, I guess.
They're facing each other in a really awkward way, and they're really close.
They could probably smell each other's breath.
And he goes, she goes, what kind of games?
And he goes, oh, board games, video games, any kind of games.
And she goes, I guess, sure, yeah.
And he goes, he goes, I like to play Star Wars Trivial Pursuit, but no one will play with me because I always win.
Oh, boy.
I must think of that like once a month, and this happened 25 years ago.
How long ago have you seen it?
Oh, I haven't.
Baby Monsters Found It Once.
It's a TV carnage clip of someone getting a massage on a dating thing.
It's really hard to find.
But yeah, I haven't seen it for years and years.
Maybe it's different.
Maybe he's like, you like games?
I like board games, video games, even Star Wars Trivial Pursuit.
I'm pretty good at that.
That's what I'm saying.
Ever since the jellyfish one.
You think I'm misremembering?
Could be.
I like board games, video games, any kind of games.
That's why I think maybe you misremember the, you're coming in my pussy, you fucking asshole.
What if she was like, you're coming in my pussy, you fucking asshole?
She had a thick Maltese accent, which is a very weird European accent.
How about how we ruined the now yous can't leave?
Yeah, that's still weird to me.
Ruined.
I apologize.
I ruined the greatest line in the history of movies.
Now you Can't Leave is awkwardly edited.
The lighting is all off.
Let's play that again.
Your favorite line in a movie ever sucks because of shitty editing.
We'll be right back.
Not use careless.
Did you think it was a zoom?
Or just smoother and not as jarring?
Yeah, way smoother.
That was jarring.
That was horrible.
The audio changes.
You know, speaking of old mobster movies, I think we have a challenger for cringiest New Yorker.
I thought it was Jon Stewart, but Michael Imperioli may beat him out as the most pretentious, annoying douche in the city of New York.
So this is him.
Let me explain Jon Stewart to you, okay?
He can't handle ego.
He can't handle having his ego stroked.
A lot of guys can handle it, like, you know, Vince Neal from Motley Crew, although he did kill a guy and become a brutal alcoholic.
But a lot of guys get drunk with power.
And so he went from this quirky nerd from, I think he's from Manhattan, actually.
And he was doing well on a comedy show.
He was king of the shitheads.
And then he did that thing with 9-11 where he tried to get the firemen and the cops money because of asbestos.
And he met working class people for the, stop, stop, stop.
Don't show that.
For the first time in his life.
And then it gave him this two things.
It gave him this working class ethos that he's obsessed with now with his fucking car hearts and shit.
So embarrassing.
Fuck.
I do it as an homage.
He's LARPing in a horrible way.
So that's one thing that's very bothersome.
And then two, it gave him this second wave of power where he's like, I'm an effective politician.
I could be president.
I like this politics thing.
So it's two things he's not.
He's not working class and he's not a politician, but those are his new identities, a working class politician.
And we've made fun of him on this show a hundred times, his stupid meetings with his writers about diversity.
He used to make raunchy jokes about trannies, and now he's like, we need to raise trans awareness.
Anyway, I don't know how this came up in my feed, but I was reminded, this is the turning point where he decided I'm a fucking amazing politician.
And theater kids are running America right now.
And theater kids are just as dorky and annoying as they were when you were in high school.
So this little midget, fake Scotsman with the fake name, is the same twerp who was doing Grease the Musical at your high school and is in the yearbook going, calm down.
I got all the cards I need.
and he would tap his pocket He's in a movie.
He kept the prayer cards.
343 firefighters.
Who knew you could make 9-11 crane?
The official FDNY response time to 9-11 was five seconds.
Five seconds.
That's how long it took for FDNY, for NYPD, for port authority, for EMS to respond to an urgent need from the public.
Five seconds.
What are you, Denzel Washington?
He's eating.
This is blackting.
The chewing of this scene.
Are we in a, what's that guy who makes the terrible black movies?
The big tall.
The Medea pear.
Tyler Perry.
This is Tyler Perry acting with the fingers and the touching and the banging.
The banging.
I've never seen anyone bang a desk because they're about to cry.
I remember being moved by this as like a kid because I was young.
And then I couldn't read Douche as good, but I don't know how anybody sees through it if they're an adult.
You couldn't handle the truth.
Ugh.
Hundreds died in an instant.
Thousands more poured in.
Isn't his tone like, you had to drag me out of my high castle to come down here with you people to tell you this?
Like he knows he's like a favor.
His presence is like a favor.
That's what he thinks.
If I was the director, I'd be like, John, love you.
This is great.
Let's try it again a little smaller, okay?
A little smaller.
And maybe not so much with the gestures and the banging.
It's a profound moment we're having here, and the dialogue is great.
So let's let the dialogue live on its own.
I'm hamming it up.
I'm not saying that.
I'm not saying that.
We have it big now.
That's a wrap.
Good.
And I'm very glad we got the big one.
90% sure we're going to use that one.
But just for fun, we got time.
We have this courthouse all day.
So maybe let's just for extra time.
I don't know.
I got the extra film here.
We got two hours from lunch.
Let's do a small one.
Just do it straight.
This is after he told him not to like crush the water bottles and empty them out on the floor.
Okay.
He's going, you know, there was five seconds to fucking shit.
Jon Stewart beating Denzel Washington in the courtroom, take two.
Go ahead.
To continue to fight for their brothers and sisters.
I said no finger stuff anymore.
The breathing problem started almost immediately, and they were told they weren't sick, they were crazy.
And then, as the illnesses got worse and things became more apparent, well, Okay, you're sick, but it's not from the pile.
And then when the science became irrefutable, much better.
Okay, it's the pile.
But this is a new pile.
I don't even know about that asbestos stuff.
Anyway.
You know what's weird?
I haven't looked into it.
This clip, ABC is a little cheeky.
They made it in 9 minutes and 11 seconds.
Ooh, saucy.
Yeah.
Okay, so that's a very high douche level, right?
And you have to combine that with all the other horrible things he's been doing recently.
He's really been on tear.
And then Michael Imperioli, who is obsessed with like Dante, not the comedian, but the Italian Renaissance man, the most talented writer in the history of literature.
And he has the most ridiculously pretentious apartment I've ever seen in my life.
Do you know that your job was playing a junkie mobster?
Like, you're okay in White Lotus, I guess, but that was like a funny soap opera for fags that I liked.
But, you know, it's not Shakespeare.
That vibe.
We kind of thought of it as like a cool hotel suite.
You know, to me, like, if you walk in hotels, this could easily be an apartment from like the jazz age in New York, you know, which is cool.
The jazz age.
The jazz age?
Yeah.
Cool.
What it takes.
Cool age.
I'm going to Google that to see if that's even a term.
His wife just goes to very expensive furniture stores and has filled his apartment with shit.
I don't want to sit anywhere in there.
That's Raymond Flanagan's.
That's Creighton Barrow.
Two away from the hectic pace of modern life, I think.
For me, it does.
You know, if you notice, there's no modern art in the house.
Everything is kind of...
Something about comforting.
Victoria designs these spaces in mind to be calming, comforting, homey, and inspiring.
You know what I think these actors do?
And Jon Stewart's an actor.
I think they've noticed that people like it when they act like they're awesome.
So they just act like a person who is awesome.
And they don't realize that they're an annoying theater kid who's acting.
They're never not acting, these people.
They're constantly doing a guy.
And this guy is cool, New York, rich Italian dude who's Russian, whose Russian wife clearly has a spending problem.
Dude, their meditation class, which I only took so that way I could do a Q ⁇ A and maybe, you know, talk to Christie.
Christopher.
It was on Zoom.
Wait a minute, Ryan.
We're sitting here making fun of a guy, and you took his meditation class?
Dude, I was not paying attention to that.
I wanted to talk to Christopher, and Christopher was nowhere to be found.
Well, that's why, like, he has a band called Zopa or something.
Zappa, yeah, yeah, yeah.
They suck rocks.
He was in a video with his son, and that song is good, but it has nothing to do with either of them.
Yeah, well, if you like it, it's shit.
No, it's good.
Yeah, I know.
That means bad.
Michael Imperio.
Your opposite day when it comes to musical taste.
Not an opposite day.
But all these people who come to see his show, they're like, I want to see the guy from the Sopranos play the guitar.
Oh, you know who?
Dude, you know who people are there?
Do you know who a spirit animal is?
His hero?
Who?
Who's the guy you make fun of, the fake heroin guy?
Lou Reed.
Lou Reed, yeah.
He loves Lou Reed.
That's what he's got.
Another total phony.
Velvet Underground, is that him?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
It's the most boring non-guitar you'll ever hear.
Check how bad this cover is.
The shit you can get away with by being famous.
Keep going.
This is an open mic.
Here comes the ocean.
And the waves are green.
Okay, so go back to his apartment.
We talked about this before, right?
I think it's 445.
He has a guitar that's made of wood from the Chelsea Hotel.
What?
There's Dante's muse.
So when he sits there and writes whatever he writes, he sees himself as Italy's greatest poet.
Like they have the same muse, Dante and him.
Screens are from Studio Dante, which was an off-Broadway theater that we opened and produced new plays.
And the screens we'd use just as backdrops behind whoever was on stage.
They kind of have like a Pompeian Roman influence, but I think the mask is based on Greek tragic comedy.
That would be tragedy, obviously.
It's a tragedy that...
Very accurate.
Steve even get to his guitars, though.
Did you already skipped that?
His books are boring, obviously.
It's such a personal thing, books, if they're not political.
I usually write on this guitar.
No, keep going until he goes into that other room.
It's an electric guitar that he pulls out.
I think we've showed this already.
No, you were there.
Now you're in the kitchen, bro.
Who works out of Carmine Street guitars, and they make guitars out of wood from old New York buildings.
So the neck of this guitar was made from wood that was recovered during the renovation of the hotel.
Yeah, is that really the best?
Why?
It might not sound great.
I'm not sure.
It could be.
Why bother?
It's made by a chick.
Of course a chick thinks that where the wood comes from is more important than how it sounds.
Now go forward a bunch more.
And he's in, okay, he's in, yeah, that's his Buddhist meditation room where him and his wife meditate.
Ew.
This was a closet, a walk-in closet that we could use.
A shrine room because we practiced tradition.
So these are tanka paintings.
They're traditional paintings.
They're really for practice, for meditation, to inspire your practice.
I'm very inspired by that.
Guided meditation?
We don't have time for that.
But if you did, you would look at this hour-long video of him and his chick with their PowerPoint presentation about happiness and love that you signed up for.
Listen.
I wanted the Q ⁇ A part.
I did not pay attention to this.
I was like, listen.
How much was it?
And it's not like a traditional Q ⁇ A. You type in the questions.
It's like, oh, fuck.
How much was it?
Three.
Wait, go back.
He says something about meditating that's very profound.
And that's.
Sometimes that's enough to just reset.
Look how cozy that looks.
All right, that's enough.
So it's up to you whether you think that is who's the winner of that douche contest.
Here it goes.
This song.
He's in this.
It's like him across from a younger him.
Sometimes kills you.
And there ain't nothing wrong with that.
Bye.
Go to Australia, dude.
You need lessons.
It might be Australian.
It might be Australian.
Shut up and fuck off.
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Holy shit.
Okay, I had a pipe dream today that I was going to get to one of every of our subjects.
I always have that as a plan.
And then I look at the stories I've amassed, and it's like, if we're going to talk about trannies, I want to talk about like six trannies in a row.
Or if we're going to talk about Prowboys, I want to talk about nine sentences.
If we're going to do My Pet Biden, I want to show 10 examples of him being an idiot.
But before we get to that, we have Invents.
Remember, I was trying to talk about games earlier, and you interrupted me.
People at home?
I have a new game.
You know, when you're at the bar and you can control the jukebox with your phone, Touch Tunes, it's called?
Most bars have it now.
It's an internet jukebox.
So this is what you do.
It's a very benevolent game.
And it's not really competitive.
A little bit.
It's sort of like, you know, you get a new ping pong table and you haven't played in a while and you go, all right, let's not try to murder each other.
Let's do some volleys and just get into the groove before we start getting tricky.
Let's just try to keep it going back and forth.
So that's the game.
It's called Ping Pong DJ.
And you choose a song, like, say, Lou Reed, whatever that Boulevard song was, something Boulevard.
Anyway, say you choose Walk on the Wildside by Lou Reed, right?
That song comes on.
I'll start it, right?
And then you have to come up with a song, like if you were a wedding DJ and you played that, you have to come up with something where the dance floor would stay happy.
Obviously, if you play Metallica next, the dance floor goes, what the fuck?
And they'll just empty out and you fucked up the volley.
So you would play after this, you maybe play Jonathan Richmond Roadrunner or something weirdly talky like that.
Or you could even do Eric Clapton's Cocaine after this.
And then he plays Eric Clapton's Cocaine.
Now you could get a little more rocky now.
You might be able to do Rod Stewart if you think I'm sexy.
Right?
And now we're into a classic rock zone.
Now it's pretty easy.
Now you can do like fucking stones.
But let's get challenging now.
So we're doing the stones.
I don't want to just do classic rock back and forth.
So now you might go something a little heavier like maybe that first band we opened with hits Jesus F Christ.
That's still rock.
And then if he goes, wait, no, no, no, no.
You can't go from Rolling Stones to Australian indie rock.
And then you both benevolently agree, like, okay, I pushed it, I broke it, and I fucked up.
Now you win.
No, so you lose.
He wins.
So you both decide together if this could never be on like TV or something because the judges, well, I guess you'd have judges to it, yeah.
I'm ironing up the kinks as I talk.
And you go, okay, I lost.
Another way you can make someone lose is if it's silence after your song.
They have to have a song queued up.
And one trick you can do, this is where it gets a little competitive.
Get the guy talking about something he's really into.
Yeah, yeah, so you got a new car.
Yeah, yeah.
So that's it.
Now it's an electric car, and you're spending basically nothing on gas, right?
Yeah.
Well, I hear the batteries, though, when they die.
And then if you can get him going and he forgets to put in the next song, you win.
There's a space.
If someone else comes along and plays some stupid song like Taylor Swift, she loses whether she knew she was playing the game or not.
But now you have to play off Taylor Swift.
And you obviously want the songs to be as good as possible.
So you don't go from Taylor Swift to like Britney Spears or something.
You want to try to do a chick who's kind of poppy, but also good.
If it's a more country song, you'd pick a more country song.
If it's one of her poppy jams, you go with a poppy.
Because she has a variation, Gav.
She goes from poppy to country.
That was my nickname in high school, variation.
Poppy to country?
Oh.
Yeah.
So anyway, you can play that game.
to give you permission.
Also, before we get...
Actually, yeah, we're going to have an LGBTQ game, but before I get to that, I don't even understand this guy's game, so that's why I'm not that excited about getting to it.
I wanted to say some things.
First of all, NSFW coming up, I'm about to show pornography.
You ready?
Get the kids out of the room.
So my brother renovated my basement, as you know, and we found this in the ceiling.
Assmaster Special, number six, gourmet edition, all color.
And it's all anal.
Women having anal intercourse.
I think my previous owner of my house was a homosexual.
There was some black and white written porn of letters and stuff.
And we also found that in the ceiling.
And my wife said one of the dumbest things ever.
She goes, no, I think that was a different guy.
I think the guy who, I think there was a previous owner, the previous owner was gay, and he put up the black and white porn because it's black and white, so it's old.
And then that's new, so that was a straight guy.
How many people, honey, do you think put porno magazines in the ceiling?
Have you ever done that?
Has anyone watching ever put pornography in the ceiling?
No.
Basically, one in 732,000 men hide pornography in the ceiling.
So the Occam's razor of the situation says it's the same fucking guy.
He just happened to have older porn.
But he only had one kid.
And I thought, you probably have the women getting fucked on the ass, porno, because you're trying to get into chicks.
And anal sex is a gateway drug to heterosexuality.
What a sad existence, huh?
Just a story through his hidden porns.
How he slowly either became, maybe he started a straight and then got gay.
He's like, anal is cool.
Why do I like the butthole so much?
You should have seen the house when we moved in.
There was speaker cable in every fucking room, including the basement and the garage and the back deck.
So if you're playing, and he had some Van Halen stickers and stuff.
So if you're playing hard rock, apparently it was a real party house.
You're playing hard rock.
There's a hot tub too on the back deck that's not there anymore.
You can hear it everywhere, which I thought, what a shitty neighbor.
Imagine you're listening to fucking Van Halen out of his back porch when he's listening to it in the basement.
Apparently it was a real party house.
Lots of people said, oh, I used to come here in the 80s.
And I also found the book of sex.
That's when we were looking to buy it.
So it still had his furniture there.
I saw that was on the bookshelf.
So he's a libidinous partier, but only had one kid.
Fag.
I used to say two is for fags.
I guess in this case, one is for fags.
Be yourself, almost.
That's why I say at the end of this show, get fired, get in trouble, be brave.
When I say that, I mean something simple, like everyone at work is a liberal and you're a conservative.
Don't pretend to be liberal and be something you're not, and you'll get cancer from the suffering.
But in the gay case, it's a way bigger deal.
That's your entire sexual identity.
You're throwing that away like my uncle did his entire life?
Weird, man.
Then you'll find out later I'm a secret fag.
My uncle, I see.
And Ryan and I have been fucking the whole time.
He's got no uncle.
That's like Hoosker Dew.
Bob Mold and Grant Hart were eating each other out regularly.
And I interviewed him right after he came out of the closet.
And I go, so the old gay thing, are we allowed to talk about that?
And he goes, only if you accept that it doesn't change any of these songs.
And if you think it makes you feel differently about the songs we made, then I don't want to talk.
And I was like, well, I guess we can't talk because, yeah, like I'm never talking to you again, Diane, something I learned today.
I will never forget you.
Now I see it as you and a dude.
He did the interview anyway, though.
Okay, I've just got some random news pieces.
I got to get out of the way.
Someone sent this in.
They go, you think, and again, we don't give a shit about bicycle races, but this still makes me so mad.
He goes, you think it's annoying to see someone walk in front of cyclists?
And I was like, yes, it ruins my day.
Makes me mad forever.
It's my least favorite thing outside of child rape and war is people just not looking where they're going and fucking up a race that thousands of people have been looking forward to all year.
Someone sent in something worse than that.
This is 18-1.
It's like somebody put Gavin's most hated things into AI.
Why did you bring your fucking dog to a race?
A. B, why is it not on a leash?
C, why did you let it onto the fucking course, of course?
I mean, C is directly a result of A and B, but what a shitbag.
I want to feed this guy his dog to death.
I mean, it's not the dog's fault, obviously, poor thing.
You probably like my character in the Tony Soprano show.
I sat on a dog.
You see that?
I don't dislike dogs, don't get me wrong.
I dislike dog owners.
I would have sat on that dog.
You know what I hate more than dog owners?
Rescue dog owners with their three-legged dog.
They call it special needs.
Shut the fuck up.
You know it's a scam, right?
The whole like chicks getting a dog, chicks with a dog.
It's a substitute for your maternal instinct, and it's a globalist plot.
Actually, jump ahead.
Go to...
It's between 3-3 and 3-4.
That chick, Emily Watson, we were supposed to interview her, and she's like, oh, I fucked up all my hotel room flooded.
I can't do the interview.
And I got a puppy.
My boyfriend bought me a puppy and I'm like, It's a way to delay the inevitable maternal instinct.
You sidewind it.
So now all her feelings about, I want a kid, I want a family, are put off for at least 14 years.
And you can relax, not worry about a ring, maybe even cheat on her.
Who cares?
It's a trick.
It's like methadone for heroin addicts.
And the big plan is, let's get enough fur babies that we don't even have human babies.
And we'll make it seem like you're an animal hater if you're not a dog mom.
And we'll talk about how bad it is for the environment to have kids and stuff.
But of course they're going to have maternal instincts, so we'll just make them get a dog.
It's a globalist plot, dudes.
Take it away.
So in the session we just attended here at the Economic Forum, I think there was a sense of relief, actually, in your frankness.
You brought up some issues that others are really important.
Let's meant to bring up.
Always.
All the religious groups are against me because I'm talking about population.
They want more souls.
I want less on the planet.
I want less on your planet.
How about less Indian souls?
I'm picking on agriculture because it is the biggest land user and also biggest water user on the planet.
The way we eat is ecologically disastrous.
The way we dress is ecologically disastrous because the third largest polluter on the planet is textiles.
Most people don't know this.
So, everything that we do has become violent in the world.
Stop, stop.
Just for the record, there is truth to that.
If there was total environmental destruction, it would be related to population, but I don't believe there is total environmental destruction.
And secondly, and this is the embarrassing part that no one will say out loud, it's about quality, not quantity.
We're not all the same.
Yes, the third world should definitely breed less.
That would be good for them.
The first world, Japan should not be breeding less.
Italy should not be breeding less.
Australia should not be breeding less.
Stokenon, Kent, Slough, Hertfordshire, Hitchen, Paisley, Scotland, they should all be breeding more.
It's you guys that should be breeding that.
Same with pollution, too.
Oh, we are polluting the world so much.
Plastics in the ocean.
We don't put plastic in the ocean.
We put it in landfills.
You're the fucking assholes that put it in the ocean.
So I got to drink a paper straw because you're a shithead.
That's not right.
We're not all the same.
You suck, I rule.
The very way we exist.
In the beginning of 20th century, we were just about 1.5 billion people.
Did you get southern there for a second?
7.3 billion people.
1.5 billion people.
In the United Nations, making predictions that by 2050, we will be 9.7 billion people.
9.7.
9.7 billion people.
Did a Texan teach him math?
His beard falls off his head.
I want to talk about 1.5 billion people that are doing the things.
Now listen, we got to get these numbers.
His beard falls off his head.
He's a white guy.
He's a Texas billionaire.
planet is for sure going to be a disaster.
I was in a conference and I said, "See, unless you...
Then they asked me a brilliant question, how do you reduce the human footprint?
I said, you have to reduce the number of feet .
That's the only way.
Oh, I'll be so excited to see you.
I'll take it to my private chest to hear this third time.
That we will not push the human population.
You can have a dog.
I'm not saying children are bad, they're wonderful, but it's just too many.
Yeah, you're right, India has way too many people.
Can you go over there and tell them that, please?
There's a bit too many.
Speaking of the environment, Less shitting on the road and less eating flies.
That's why the globalists say that we should eat insects, because the turd world's already eating them.
That looks delicious.
What do you call it?
What type of shit is that?
It's called wet bag.
We put Wet in the bag.
This is called food bag.
Honey, I'm starving.
Oh, I can go for a good food bag right now.
I'd like a pile of fly shit, please.
Take some red fucking shit.
Even the flies are like, this is fucking gross.
I prefer the shit.
They're just making fun of it.
Yeah, they're laughing.
Little Gordon Ramseys flying around.
You call this food.
This fucking sucks.
Speaking of the environment and how important it is to conserve, we cannot do any better than electric cars.
They are fucking awesome.
And to prove that, the Energy Secretary Jennifer Granholm set out on a four-day electric vehicle road trip over the summer from Charlotte, North Carolina to Memphis, Tennessee.
Pretty hot trip there.
Memphis and Charlotte in the summer can get pretty roasted.
So she wanted to draw attention to the billions of dollars the Obama administration has pumped in electric vehicles.
And in order to do that, she had a team of people in gas-powered cars driving ahead of her and blocking out charging stations to make sure she had one.
So this family shows up.
They got a kid in the car who's fucking hot.
They're out of fuel, out of electricity, not fuel.
And they want to plug in.
And there's some clown standing there going, sorry, you can't.
We're trying to prove that electric cars work.
This resulted in the family traveling with their baby on a hot summer day.
The family called the police, but the sheriff's office said they couldn't do anything about it and that it's not illegal for a non-EV to park at a charging station in the state.
Scrambling to smooth things over, Energy Department staff sent other vehicles to slower charges to ensure space for both the family and grand home to charge.
They don't work.
Every time they go and do this, too.
Remember there was that ship?
They went to, I don't know, Santa's house to go show us all how everything's melting and the polar bears have bulimia and they're walking around with their sagging scrotal coats, just excess skin.
And they show the images of the icebergs falling.
So they went there to document that.
And they ended up stuck in the water because it froze.
The Guardian sponsored it too.
And they had holding up flags, say the Guardian.
And they were stuck there.
I think it was 52 people.
They were stuck there for weeks and weeks.
They couldn't move because their boat, the Antarctic Research Fiasco, so not Santa's house, the other house.
There it is, stuck in the ice while going to show us all how incredibly hot Antarctica is.
So then the Guardian, scroll down a bit.
There they are with their flag.
Yay.
A very inconvenient truth.
We did it.
Like the penguins are all, what are you doing here?
So then the Guardian said, it's not because of, it was because it was cold.
So this isn't a win for you.
Stop gloating.
Which is what all media is now.
This is 2-3.
All media is just a propaganda game.
Oh yeah, you think the Yankees won that one?
Maybe technically, but we're going to get them at the end of the season.
Research ship trapped in Antarctic ice because of weather, not climate change, you assholes.
God.
I Okay, I think we're ready to start the show.
Let's do Purple Works Nutrition before we get into homosexuals.
Purple Works Nutrition pre-workout.
It's what I take.
I didn't take it today, however.
I was hungover and I didn't want to work out that hard.
I took it yesterday and I had, dude, I was lifting.
It was a great day.
I love an arms day.
I hate leg days.
So we're doing the curls and we're doing this thing and we're doing the squats.
I don't even mind the bike.
And then I'm like, I'm going to have fun today.
And then the fucker, he goes, and then 10 burpees with this pole.
Burpees are the equivalent of making out with a dude if you're straight.
Do you do burpees?
No, but I make out with dudes and I'm straight.
No, I do burpees.
Yeah, it sucks.
I hate that.
We have a routine where it's six front kicks, three roundhouse kicks on each leg, and then you do three burpees.
And the burpees are the fucking worst part.
Worst part.
I get worried I'm going to faint.
You know what else I don't like is flies.
Because then I'm going to close the windows in my car, and that muscle hurts like hell.
It gives you carpal tunnel.
Anyway, Purple Works Nutrition makes you work harder than you normally would.
And you end up getting muscles you don't deserve.
It's not only great for the gym and lifting weights, it's also great for sports.
It works like a charm if you play football, baseball, pickleball, spike ball, or even shooty hoops.
However, it is especially effective for running, biking, and other endurance sports.
If you're a coal miner, a ditch digger, warehouse worker, or if you regularly change in other torturous and strenuous activities, like listening to Ryan tell a story, this could be a godsend product for you.
Purpleworks pre-workout uses only the highest quality ingredients, creatine for strength, caffeine and green tea extract for energy and focus, vitamins for muscle and tissue repair, and carnicin beta-alanine for the tingles.
You get these pricklies in your hand, and they don't go away until you work out.
It's kind of like you have a ticking time bomb menu, like that Jason Statham thing where he had something in his chest, or if he didn't have constant adrenaline, he was going to blow up.
Purpleworks pre-workout has no artificial ingredients, and it's manufactured in an FDA-registered facility.
It's formulated such that you don't have to cycle on and off it like many other pre-workouts.
But wait, there's more.
Purple Works Nutrition has two things.
You know how when we call into the show, we only allow you to have one thing?
They just introduced a new line of fine imported Italian coffees.
They have ground gourmet coffee, a big-ass 2.2-pound bag of organic whole bean coffee, and they even have a gourmet organic instant coffee.
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We met that dude in Vegas.
Great guy.
Great guy.
Very hot wife.
Purple tie.
I appreciated That.
That was very exciting.
It's like when Peter Parker and Spider-Man wears like a red hoodie when he's like not Spider-Man, you're like a little homage to yourself.
That's cool.
All right, let's.
I'm not going to cut off because we still have Johnny Apple CBD, so I don't want to cut off until we've done all the sponsors.
But I do want to get to Gayness.
So let's do it.
Why are you?
I felt ugly.
I felt gay.
And then we fell in love.
And then we fell in love.
And we have a very good relationship.
I don't like the right thing.
You don't want to see a close-up picture of my gayness.
You ain't gaming.
You ugly.
Homophobe alert.
Okay, speaking of the gamification.
Speaking of the gamification of everything around you, someone sent in a game.
I don't quite get it.
But you tell me.
It must be a British guy because he says, I was sat.
This is from a baby monster.
I was sat under the street pride banners in my local town square.
I played Pride Bingo with a friend.
You choose a flag.
Whatever the flag is, you have to be it.
You take a picture of the flag on your phone, press Magic I, and it image searches the flag on the internet.
It tells you what you are.
I got lesbian and pan, which was fine.
Yeah, pan just means you fuck a lot of people, right?
And lesbian, I'm probably a lesbian.
True.
Although, I think the definition is you have to be a female.
My friend got leather and demi-boy fluid.
Ooh, that doesn't sound good.
What's a Demi boy?
Isn't Demi...
Why are you showing the letter here, bro?
Demi's like partial.
No, you're wrong.
Like demi-god, like a quality of demi?
I know the context of demi.
A demi-boy is a person who feels their gender identity partially identifies with a masculine identity.
Partially.
Shut up.
But is not wholly binary.
Okay.
Like a demi-girl or demi-boy may identify this way regardless of their assigned gender.
No, you know what the word demi is, dude.
You didn't know what a demi-boy was.
Not a word, it's a prefix.
Demi's not a word?
let me just look that up Hello?
Yes.
Yeah, how you doing?
Send me the hours, please.
Okay, should I text it to you?
Yeah, text me on this phone.
Okay, I'll do that right now.
Okay, please.
I'm in my way already, okay?
Okay, sounds good.
That's very important that you know that, that that is the guy coming to pick up my old fridge.
And he is two hours late.
Dennis Fridgeman?
Demi.
Demi Lovato comes up.
Let's go to m-w.com.
That's Merriam-Webster.
Demi.
Put in there.
Demi half.
Word history, etymology, Middle English.
I think you might be right, Ryan.
My friend.
I promise you.
It says demi prefix.
There is no list of demi being a word.
Demigogue.
I thought it was demigod.
That's where I'm dumb.
Hold on.
I got to give this guy my.
Oh, it is demigod.
Yep.
I thought it was demigog recently for some reason.
Oh, because I hear this song.
There's demigoguery.
Oh, okay.
But the thing I don't get about this guy's game is so you just do it once?
Like, it doesn't sound like a game.
This sounds more like where you go, you see someone ugly and you go, that's your girlfriend.
Like, it's that simple.
So it's not really a game, sir.
But then he got straight ally.
Oh, so you get to choose more than one flag for someone?
Now, there are over 50 flags, and I recommend you read some of them, gay, bye, etc., we all know, all the way through to nuanced niches that take over a paragraph to read and still make no sense.
Yet there remains the straight ally.
What kind of Uber Chad, therefore, is a straight ally?
And why are they allowed to exist?
They have 50 forms of sexuality to choose from, and yet their sexuality remains so unnuanced and straightforward, they opt for none of the above.
These are the guys whose internet search words are woman.
They have a 1950s nine-year-old body sexuality.
They're plucked from the set of stand by me.
God bless them.
Wait, it's already a thing?
And it's $5?
No, thanks.
This is terrible.
I hope nobody has bought this.
Pull up the 50 flags.
I want to choose my favorite.
And then you'll see what I am.
Remember, I indicated at the beginning I'm secretly gay?
That's such a weird insult people always say, too.
Like, they say Nick Fuentes is secretly gay.
I don't give a shit.
Even the Daily Mail today was about this politician who was having an affair.
And it's like the front page.
And I'm just like, I don't, this is how people fuck.
I don't want to know how people fuck.
It's like how people shit.
I don't like any of those.
The one in the middle bottom isn't terrible.
Not going to lie, the lesbian one kind of slaps.
It reminds me of like the desert kind of, like sepia.
Yeah.
Keep going.
I'd rather see a bigger grid.
Oh, I like that one with the green.
Yeah, make it so small I can't read.
So put it over that way more.
Yeah, blow it up a bit more.
Just a little bit.
Okay, so a lot of boring rainbows there.
I heard the guy who made the rainbow flag is pissed off about all this shit.
Because he goes, I made you a thing that means everything.
Yeah, it's already built in.
And now you're like, nah, not enough.
You know what?
That agender, this middle one here?
How did you know it's you're cheating?
I can read.
Oh, I'm not supposed to read.
Okay.
Oh, they show you how the package looks.
What percentage of their clientele are teachers?
Just like the goth little brother flag?
Classroom.
Okay, move this mouse away.
I want to see all of them.
Just so Scroll so we can see them all, and then we'll come back.
Ugh, that one's depressing, that gray one.
Oh, we know that must be two spirits.
Keep going.
What's that?
A patriotic homo?
Black trans lives matter.
I kind of like that one with the heart.
Okay, I choose that.
What am I?
Oh, wait, wait, this is only page one of four.
Okay, well, we don't have time to go through 50.
What's the one with the heart on its side that looks like a kissing hand?
Polyamory.
Oh, great.
Nice.
I got to tell my wife I get to cheat on her.
Yeah, and if she doesn't respect your sexuality.
Right.
What are you, a polyphobe?
That's what I'm going to say.
I'm going to start cheating on my wife, and then when she finds out, I'll go, no, you got this all wrong.
I'm polyamorous.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Maybe that is all.
No, there's more.
Well, these aren't real.
Some of them are sticky.
A bat.
Yeah, that's bullshit.
Also in the gay category, I found a tranny who's actually funny.
Gayest place.
Tranny was gayest place.
I'm going to plant that flag in your yard.
That's a good prank.
Yeah, go to 2-5.
Not a bad joke from a guy, a fat, ugly loser who wears women's clothing.
And we used to make fun of those guys.
Now they're cool.
If I like someone and we're really vibing, tell them to transition.
No, we showed an Asian one.
Yeah.
Regardless of who they are.
And I do that because being trans is an MLM.
Pyramid scheme.
Multi-level marketing.
You got to get to the top.
Pretty good timing.
If I could get five of you to transition, I get an air fryer.
Listen to how hard they're laughing.
Captive audience.
They're so happy someone that pathetic is actually being amusing.
This was great if you guys feel like masturbating.
Senator John Kennedy, the greatest senator in the history of senators, was reading from some of these books.
And I love when people do this because out of context, these books sound so over-the-top raunchy.
And they go, can you stop doing this?
And you go, it's in schools.
We've seen, we've shown you town halls where they cut off the guy's microphone because he's reading a book that his kid was given in their schools that they gave him, that he's paying taxes for.
So you gave my kid this porn, but you can't even hear it because it's too offensive.
And one of the excuses was, well, there could be kids in the audience.
Yeah, there's kids in the schools, dummy.
Let's do.
Let's take two books that have been much discussed.
This might end up being a drama.
The first one is called All Boys Aren't Blue.
Blue.
And I will quote from it.
That's true.
I put some lube on and got him on his knees.
And I began to slide into him from behind.
I pulled out of him and kissed him while he masturbated.
So he didn't fuck him for anything.
He asked me to turn over while he slipped a condom on himself.
I guess there's a bottom now, bitch.
And I was struggling to imagine someone inside me.
He got on top and slowly inserted himself into me.
It was the worst pain I think I have ever felt in my life.
Oh, it's an anti-gay book.
Eventually, I felt a mix of pleasure with the pain.
Close quote.
All boys aren't blue.
The second is another much-discussed book.
Much discussed.
I'm sure you're familiar with it.
It's called Genderqueer.
Yes, we've heard about this one a lot.
Of course.
Let me read an excerpt from that.
Gotta buy these.
I got a new strap-on harness today.
Okay, that's a drop.
I can't wait to put it on you.
It will fit my favorite dildo perfectly.
You're going to look so hot.
I can't wait to have your cock in my mouth.
I'm going to give you the blowjob of your life.
Then I want you inside of me.
That's the drop, right?
Yeah, because the eye contact is so good.
Blowjob of your life.
I'm going to give you the blowjob of your life.
Then I want you inside of me.
You know, as someone who is a big fan of Senator John Kennedy, I'm going to put that on my phone.
And when I'm alone, jerk it off.
I'll just watch that on a loop.
He's doing a jerk-off instruction.
Yeah, John.
End quote.
Let's jump ahead to this fat 3-0, this fat chick who cut her tits off and thinks that she's a total dude.
Ah, farts.
Unfortunately.
Maybe is it under like libs of TikTok or something or transposing their own available?
It was just this chick who had tit surgery and her tits are gone.
So there's those dumb scars.
Like you don't like your tits because they remind you that you're female, but you get these giant red lines that I assume do the same thing.
And again, 70% of my male friends have tits.
And third, you don't, then she starts putting all these sweaters on that we would never wear.
And you can see her feminine hands and the way they move.
She's super fat, too.
It's like, ladies, if you're thinking about cutting off your tits, please watch the show How It's Made.
If that show is boring, leave your tits alone.
And also, these chicks who get a dick, just put a strap on on.
The technology is amazing now.
They look exactly like dicks.
You're not going to feel anything when you make the burrito with your arm.
So, nerve endings are done.
There's going to be all kinds of strange pustulant smells and infections and problems.
Just wear it.
You can wear a strap on, like in your pants, while you go to work.
It could be not just for sex.
Here's a fat chick complaining about her disgusting penis that she had made.
Yeah.
Is it gone too?
Oh, yeah.
Are you positive?
Yeah, do you know what the account is by any chance?
No, I wouldn't have the account memorized.
Copy and paste it in a new browser.
No.
Farts.
Well, let's try 2.8, where this guy wants to have a uterus so he can be a mommy.
The first trans woman.
What liberal mommies do?
Well, they gave it away.
Have a successful uterus transplant, ovaries and eggs included.
And I want to be the first trans woman to have an abortion.
I will let a doctor who has successfully transplanted a uterine complex before cut the organs out of a willing, healthy, transmasculine donor, place them in my body.
I will devote myself heart and soul to their aftercare.
I will have to make it as it takes with as many trans women as it takes and let the transphobes and homophobes scratch their heads wondering what to make of it.
Can I scratch your head?
I won't be scratching my head.
Want to be the first trans woman to have an abortion?
She just wants to be that's enough.
Thank you.
Remember that?
Look, I don't think I have a link there.
The chick who did the lived as a dude experiment killed itself.
Involuntary madness.
Remember that chick who dressed as a man and to see what it was like to be a man?
Of course, she didn't look like a dude.
They never do.
But she said she learned a lot about what men go through and stuff.
She's dead now.
Post-transition, she's dead.
Involuntary madness.
Vincent details her decade-long history with treatment-resistant depression, saying, My brain was never quite the same after I zapped it with that first course of SSRIs.
Magazine, The Advocate.
Dead.
She was a columnist for The Village Voice and Salon.com.
Her writing badly, the women treated her when they thought she was a man.
Vincent also said that she was a very good idea.
Well, you were a weird man who wasn't intimidating.
And the male condition.
Men are suicidal.
And here's so they have a brutal suicide rate after they transition, right?
But we're told, no, they need to transition or they'll kill themselves.
That's not true.
Go to 2.9.
The diatribe everyone's saying about trans suicide and changing gender is a script.
They all say it verbatim.
The info in it is not real.
You are not at risk of suicide.
They received this script from their friends.
I think it's the best way to think about the script is it's like a child found a poem that resonated.
The feeling is probably real, but the information is not real.
So when they say you're at a risk of suicide, this is something they've learned from their friends.
It's a complicated, thorny issue, but there's no evidence.
That's crazy.
There is a kind of almost like a standard playbook that these kids get pulled into, where they already know the answer.
They know what they need to say.
And then the, I guess in some cases it's therapists, in some cases it's guidance counselors respond in a particular way.
It's like this sort of extensive, almost like coaching exercise to the point where the parents realized at some point that the kids are basically all saying almost exactly the same thing wrote.
So how did this happen?
Well, yes, so we call that the script.
And I think from a parent's point of view, hearing the script, which is written on Reddit and Tumblr and Discord, in particular, those three platforms, but other platforms as well.
Now, in a way, these are just platforms, right?
It could be WhatsApp, it could be just your mobile phone, but this is the means that these kids are communicating.
So it's a generational challenge because people, my generation, wouldn't necessarily use Discord, for example.
So we're in very different spaces.
And they receive this script from their friends.
And I think the best way to think about this script is it's like if your child found a poem.
Okay, so we're just repeating what we just read.
That resonated.
So it's a lie.
So the pre-transition suicide thing is not a thing.
It's not disproportionate.
The post-transition suicide, murder, and death is a thing.
Like this woman 2-7, she's suing the school board.
They secretly transitioned her daughter, made her into a dude, didn't tell her, which is becoming the law all over America.
And then the mother-alleged school district employee secretly transitioned her daughter, who was later placed by the public defender in an all-male juvenile facility.
So she probably got into drugs because she's mentally ill, right?
Then she becomes a dude.
Then she goes to jail.
They put her in a male jail where Sage was sexually assaulted and later, I guess after she got out.
Yeah.
Kidnapped, raped, and sex trafficked after she ran away from the facility.
What?
Is she alive?
Go to the top of this and blow it up.
We're getting a little heavy for Fridays, but I think she's alive.
Go down more and blow it up.
Public defender, according to report, blah, blah, blah.
I can't believe I'm happy that she was only kidnapped and raped and trafficked.
That's the system.
When you let your kids go to the state and the state decides what's best for your family, this is what happens.
So we're not transphobic.
We're trying to save lives, folks.
We don't want your kids to go to an all-male juvenile facility where they will be raped.
And that's why we're against Drag Queen Story Hour.
And I will be publishing a list of dozens and dozens of trannies and perverts related to Drag Queen Story Hour who were also tied to child sex.
Poros went on to say the nightmare should have ended in Maryland after the traffic and all that shit.
But what's it called?
There was more.
Sage was placed into a Jews and I was admitted.
She was again sexually assaulted, exposed to drugs, and denied medical and mental health care.
That seems like, is that not a second time?
Yeah.
That's what you get from the word again.
What the fuck?
And then she went, oh, she ran away again, only to be found by another pedophile who brought her to Texas where she was again raped, drugged, starved, and tortured until, wow.
It's amazing she survived all this because you know drugs are going to be involved and where drugs are involved, fentanyl is involved and where fentanyl is involved, the OD.
All right, let's just end it with this.
It's getting a little sad for Fridays.
This guy chopped off his balls and he's not very horny anymore.
Yeah.
That's how it goes.
3-3.
This keeps getting worse the further you read on.
I had an orchiectomy in April, basically not experienced any sex.
My favorite pasta.
Haven't had sex with my girlfriend in months, and now I try.
My penis hurts during sex.
It doesn't hurt when I masturbate, so what gives?
Why did you do that?
I got to look up what an orcheectomy is.
I thought this was a tranny.
I miss craving sex.
I miss seeing sheddies to find hot and getting horny.
I don't get turned on whatsoever anymore.
I don't know what to do.
What's even worse?
My desire to transition has disappeared.
Oh, so you're on your way to becoming a chick and you have a girlfriend.
What does it say there?
Orchiectomy.
Surgically removal of both, or one or both testicles.
Yeah, dude, what did you think?
I guess he's on his way to getting a pussy.
So are your balls car or your orcies?
My orcies.
It was only a fetish and I straight up just ruined everything.
I can't believe I was stupid enough to do this.
I haven't been on estrogen either because I have no desire to transition.
Somebody please help me sort this out.
Why don't I want to transition now?
Why don't I want to have sex?
Why did I ruin my relationship?
My girlfriend was sobbing because we tried to have sex and I couldn't.
It honestly hurts my penis.
She doesn't masturbate.
So it could be just because she's too horny now.
I really need some insight.
I need someone to talk to.
Fucking Jesus.
Like, we don't let kids get tattoos.
And this is like getting a tattoo on your face that's a dick.
You're going to regret it.
Hopefully he doesn't get himself a gun tea.
I can't watch the Sopranos anymore because of that.
Well, I'd like to tell you that, you know, the gay, jazz age thing in my apartment, that's different.
I'm Chrissy.
I'm this old school Michael Imperioli.
I don't meditate.
I don't do any of that shit.
Okay.
I'm back.
I want to talk about all these chicks who have the hubris of Hercules.
Herculean hubris, we'd call it.
Oh, maybe that's the name of the show, even though we're.
That's awesome.
But we're going to go behind the wall after I talk about this next thing.
But I want to talk about women who not only go up to security guards saying, what, bitch?
But go up to animals and sharks and bulls and already getting involved in a rodeo.
What did you think was going to happen when you stepped in front of a bull, lady?
Even like the way they get fucked up, like when they get beat up or hit, like when we get punched and hit, we have like a bruise or our rib hurts.
But it's like seven days of uncomfortable.
A woman, like, you see, I remember when my mom fell off her bike, it looked like she fell off a building.
Like she couldn't walk with my dad because everyone assumed he beat the shit out of her.
And she was fucked up for like years.
Wow.
They got bird bones.
And we got...
Who here identifies as a feminist?
We got Johnny Apple CBD.
Ah, yes.
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A little more giggly of a CBD.
And I can't handle weed.
I can't smoke pot.
I get way too high.
I can't handle these, though.
I don't even see it as similar.
I've never, I have heard of people taking Delta 8 and getting so high they freak out.
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If you don't do CBD, I get it.
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Okay, so that's it for the free section.
Very large.
It's hot in here.
I get to check my phone now to see if I should turn on the AC.
Go over to the nest.
Oh, did you turn it off?
No.
Stop echo.
69.
Let's try that.
69, that's when you put your balls in the...
You know who wants to fuck me, by the way?
Who?
this freaked me out.
I used to like him, Senator John Kennedy.
Does he?
Yeah.
I don't have blowing me and stuff.
I don't have it that quickly.
I was like, ah, okay.
I think maybe you misread the signals here when I said you're awesome.
Yikes.
All right, let's get behind the paywall, and we're going to continue.
We've got that feminism stuff.
We've got some racism, the mailbag, the final video, Proud Boys.
We highly recommend.
We got Elijah Schaefer and Drew Hernandez on the show now.
Atheism is Unstoppable is very popular with the viewers.
You've got Jim Goad, Josh LaCash, Josh Denny, lots of Joshes.
And then we have unlimited archives.
Like we have fucking Milo's show, and we got Cornell West debating Candace Owens and Coulter.
It goes on and on and on.
Do this show tab.
We've had guys on the show who've done so many shows they died at Crypt Daddy.
And then Wednesdays, we've got Anthony Coumia.
Just try it out and then cancel if you don't like it.
But I have a show up every single day, 365 days a year, no matter what.
