GOML S4 Ep300 - PERSONALITY CRISIS (Part 1)
We bash through about a thousand examples of the Competence Crisis with a whirlwind finale focussed on aviation.
We bash through about a thousand examples of the Competence Crisis with a whirlwind finale focussed on aviation.
Time | Text |
---|---|
Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn. | |
This is the Friday free show. | |
Some of it's free, half of it's free. | |
The other half goes behind the paywall. | |
The free part has ads. | |
This network doesn't have ads. | |
You pay $10 a month and you get unlimited content. | |
More content than you could possibly devour. | |
If you were to devour everything on censored.tv, I would be worried about you. | |
Even if you had a January 6th size sentence of 22 years, I don't think you could get through all of our shit here. | |
From the archives to the new stuff. | |
I'm hearing my voice come out of a speaker there, bro. | |
Oh, I know what that is. | |
TV in the other room. | |
Okay. | |
Ryan is wearing a wool hat in the office because he's smart, and that's what his generation does. | |
They wear winter hats inside. | |
Oh, wait, now I'm here. | |
Are my computer or some shit? | |
Computers on. | |
Jeez, Louise. | |
I can ignore it. | |
This has been quite the incompetence. | |
That's perfect. | |
Because today's special is the competence crisis. | |
That's why I chose Personality Crisis by the New York Dolls as the opening song. | |
I like to say competency crisis because it sounds like personality crisis, but the grammatically correct way to say it is competence crisis. | |
I have 9 million examples that we'll get to shortly. | |
In fact, Ryan, I didn't even send you notes. | |
Correct. | |
Because you just have to go to the Google Doc and see my massive... | |
I've been compiling examples of the competence crisis. | |
And before we start discussing that, though, look at all this cool stuff. | |
Look at all these wonderful products. | |
Patriot1776.store, ladies and gentlemen, they're their first sponsor tonight. | |
Are you still supporting toxic products and companies owned by woke mega corporations? | |
Well, Patriot1776.store has found a solution. | |
A company committed to making their products in America. | |
They're privately owned, which means that BlackRock, State Street, and Vanguard can't get a voting interest by owning their stock, enforcing ESG and what we like to call DIE policies, diversity, inclusion, and equity. | |
And by the way, diversity mongering is a huge part of the competence crisis, but it's only a factor. | |
There's phone addiction. | |
There's feminism. | |
It's a wonderful combination of everything wrong with the West today. | |
And the short version is, it's a war on meritocracy, really. | |
And when you absolve yourself of meritocracy, you invite failure. | |
And that's what we're living in today. | |
And complex systems can't survive the competence crisis. | |
So don't get hung up just on the diversity thing. | |
That's a biggie, but there's plenty more. | |
Fucking the economy being so shit that when you go to McDonald's, it's all old ladies working there if you're outside of the city, and they suck. | |
And you're waiting a good 20 minutes for your Big Mac. | |
And one thing they do is they take care of all the drive-thrus. | |
So if you're in the actual McDonald's, you're like, ladies, there's people here too, you know. | |
Should I get out, get in my car, and go through the drive-thru? | |
Is that the only way to get service here? | |
This company is making its own decisions employing Americans and not putting toxic chemicals into its products and food. | |
It's a membership service that can be thought of as a competitor to Amazon and the big box stores like Target and Walmart. | |
They have over 400 necessary everyday household items such as cleaning supplies, baby supplies, medicines, healthy snacks like protein bars, weight loss and fitness products, personal care items, and much more. | |
They even have an antibiotic-free mRNA vaccine-free prime choice steaks. | |
So sorry. | |
Vaccine-free. | |
You should add a dash there, AdGuy. | |
Vaccine-free prime choice steaks. | |
They are all high-quality products that are just as good or better than their mainstream counterparts and at competitive prices for their members. | |
So why give hundreds of dollars a month to corporations at AIDAS when there is an American Patriot-owned company who is providing alternatives? | |
Why indeed? | |
Go to Patriot1776.store today and fill out the form at the top of the page. | |
You'll see an email or text soon after explaining how to get involved and become a member. | |
This could be a great solution for how to vote with your dollars when it comes to your family or household's monthly essential spending. | |
Patriot1776.store likes you more than a friend. | |
Ryan, cue the competence crisis. | |
Interstitial. | |
Aha. | |
Not a problem. | |
And here we go. | |
It's a competency crisis. | |
It's a crisis of incompetence. | |
This country is falling apart. | |
Literally. | |
Okay. | |
I had to go turn off my computer in my office. | |
It's a crisis of incompetence. | |
And as we mentioned earlier in the week, that interstitial, that thing that Ryan made, it has a mistake in it. | |
He... | |
Uh... | |
Ahem. | |
Starts calling it the competency crisis, but he ends with competence crisis. | |
So it's kind of perfect in many ways. | |
He says competency. | |
Right? | |
So I did it right? | |
Wait, didn't you call it the competence crisis? | |
It's the competence crisis, but I call it the competency crisis because it sounds like personality crisis. | |
And I love the New York Dolls because they show us a time when trans people were cool. | |
That's my biggest problem with the modern trans movement. | |
It's just fat losers. | |
It's nerds looking for an identity. | |
None of them are cool. | |
David Bowie was trans. | |
He was cool. | |
You look like shit with your fucking slides on and your shorts are bigger than your t-shirts. | |
You look like a bell. | |
And your gross, fluffy hair that you use too much conditioner on. | |
You look like a fuzzhead. | |
He never read to kids either. | |
You never what? | |
David Bowie never read to kids. | |
True. | |
David Bowie, for a while there, was a fascist that said we need another world war and I support the SS. | |
Oh, wait. | |
Oh, shit. | |
What? | |
This is literally him reading to kids. | |
Oh, damn it. | |
Damn you. | |
Wait a minute. | |
This is the wrong Google Docs. | |
How incompetent of me. | |
All right. | |
So let's start with my life. | |
My Land Rover LR3, what's commonly referred to by guys in the car business as a woman's Range Rover, has been in the shop now for a month. | |
I got it and it has this thing where you put the gas in and it goes like it's full, even though it's empty. | |
So I talk to Landover and they go, oh, yeah, that's a recall. | |
So we'll fix that for free. | |
Oh, good. | |
Send them. | |
I get it back like two and a half weeks later. | |
It's not fixed. | |
So then I bring it back and they go, oh, that thing? | |
Yeah, that's not us. | |
So then I take it to my mechanic. | |
I go, can you fix this? | |
And he goes, holy shit. | |
I asked Landover for the parts. | |
They can't find them. | |
They don't exist. | |
But I could get it on eBay. | |
So he gets the part on eBay, but he has to dismantle basically the entire car to get to the gas tank where that thing is. | |
I go, let's just sell this hunk of shit. | |
I fucking hate this car. | |
It is absolute garbage. | |
I bought it because I'm a homo, and all I care about is the way things look. | |
So I have a BMW 3 Series Land Rover and a beautiful 2000 JAG. | |
I'm getting rid of both the Land Rover and the BMW and I'm getting a Chevy Suburban. | |
Damn. | |
New. | |
So I don't have to worry about anything. | |
But that's incompetence in my life. | |
Or just today at the gym. | |
This is a perfect example. | |
I'm sure I've mentioned it to you before, but I want to get this all together in one spot. | |
I sent you to this, Ryan. | |
I texted it to you. | |
So if you were to take a shit at my gym, it makes it very clear that you should not put toilet paper in the toilet. | |
Remember this story? | |
Please do not put used toilet paper in the garbage. | |
Use the toilet. | |
What? | |
He changed it. | |
Well, I think... | |
Is it changed now? | |
Well, that's just as bad. | |
No. | |
It's not two levels of bad. | |
Okay. | |
You have to tell people. | |
I may have got the timing of this wrong because the sign used to say, and maybe it still says that in Spanish, please put toilet paper in the garbage, not in the toilet. | |
And I go to the owner, I go, what are you talking about, dude? | |
You can't put paper towels, I guess, in the toilet, but you can put toilet paper. | |
That's what it's designed for. | |
And he goes, I know. | |
But the toilet clogged a few times and the whole system of this building was all fucked up and the pipes were all blocked. | |
And the owners of the building are Hispanic. | |
They're from Colombia. | |
And they think, because in Colombia, it can't handle toilet paper. | |
You're supposed to put it in the garbage. | |
They think that it's my fault because my guys put toilet paper in there. | |
And I want to renew my lease. | |
So I had to put up a sign saying, don't put toilet paper in the garbage, just so they could see that. | |
And they knew that I was trying to help. | |
And then what I do is I individually go up to people and say, don't pay any attention to that fucking sign or I'll kill you. | |
So this may be an update. | |
He might have gotten sick of all the shit paper that was in the fucking toilet. | |
The Spanish is terrible there. | |
But I promise you that the sign, if that doesn't say it now, it did used to say, don't put toilet paper in the toilet. | |
Incompetence. | |
And the fun thing about this subject is it's just so ubiquitous. | |
Everything seems to come back to that. | |
For example, the F-35 we were talking about. | |
Here's one thing I don't get. | |
They say, you know what I'm talking about? | |
The F-35 that vanished and the military said no more planes for two days until we figure out what the fuck is going on. | |
This, coincidentally, is happening right after we were told how important it is to get women and people of color and trans into the military, into aviation, into the Air Force. | |
F-35s go about 1,300 miles an hour. | |
The only people who should be driving them are human gods. | |
Those tend to be men. | |
I've noticed. | |
Especially the sheer strength you need to handle those fucking... | |
They cost $80 to $100 million. | |
And this person ejected, punched out. | |
And now I'm hearing it went for another two hours. | |
Okay, so peak speed is 1,300. | |
Let's go down to 1,000. | |
Two hours is 2,000 miles. | |
He started going north from Charlotte, South Carolina. | |
Montreal is like 1,300 miles from Charlotte. | |
It's a long drive. | |
But in a jet, that's an hour. | |
That's only halfway there. | |
2,000 miles from Charlotte north is the very tippity top of Quebec. | |
That's north Norde de Royen Norande. | |
Like, you know, when you look at Canada and there's the fucking Hudson Bay and there's the big pointy part of the top of Quebec, that's 2,000 miles from Charlotte. | |
So it should have crashed in the snow. | |
I don't know what's going on, but I do know that it landed in someone's, it, the pilot, Z, landed in someone's backyard. | |
Whose backyard? | |
And can I please see this person? | |
I am guessing it's not a grizzled old white male with a mustache, a Tom Cruise and Maverick kind of guy. | |
I'm guessing. | |
And by the way, I lost my bet to you about that video. | |
It is fake. | |
Yes. | |
50 bucks I owe you. | |
Yes. | |
I'm willing to bet another 50. | |
Do you want to bet on this? | |
I'm not. | |
No, I think. | |
No. | |
Why not? | |
Doesn't doesn't feel. | |
I'm not certain about this. | |
So what does that mean? | |
I'm not confident in winning this. | |
That's the other one. | |
Because I don't have my eyes on it. | |
I don't know any information besides what we're given, and there's not enough to prove it. | |
I do believe that it could be... | |
But. | |
Well, anything that's non-white male, even if it's a white male who's relatively new to the Air Force and was part of a push. | |
I see what you're trying to do. | |
I'll take my $50. | |
Thank you. | |
Okay. | |
Double or nothing. | |
So that's still pending, folks. | |
If that's a white man with tons of experience and he just fucked up, then I'll pay you 50 bucks. | |
Oh, never mind. | |
But can you just tell us the address of where it landed, please? | |
And can I talk to the people who live there? | |
There's the pilot. | |
They found him. | |
In the bathroom taking a shave. | |
And I heard a screeching screech and a whistle. | |
Nice teeth. | |
Is this real? | |
Yes. | |
I said, what in the world is this? | |
And I heard a boom in my home account. | |
White says he didn't realize it was a plane at the time, so he didn't call me. | |
His name's White. | |
Did the meteorite come out of spares or something? | |
Okay. | |
And I said, well, if the airplane, it needs to be reported. | |
The thing was flying this F-30. | |
That guy's a racist caricature. | |
He should get canceled. | |
Who's the guy who does the sounds in Police Academy? | |
The black guy. | |
He's called the Black Guy from Police Academy. | |
Michael Winslow. | |
Like, these news interviews with black people show that he's not particularly talented as a black man. | |
It's just a thing they do. | |
They just grabbed a random. | |
I said, what in the world? | |
He actually isn't particularly talented. | |
We got a 144. | |
He does stuff like that. | |
I said, what in the wall is this? | |
I said, why did this? | |
Is that not a drop? | |
I mean, fuck. | |
What context would you use it in? | |
Anytime, like, almost like the same one as the Chris Angel, yeah, when we're excited. | |
Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. | |
Okay. | |
Put it in your notes. | |
We've got a drop, folks. | |
And to get away from diversity, because it's a rut, sort of like anti-Semitism where you blame the Jews for all your problems. | |
If it rains on a Monday, I want to just show you, here's no diversity. | |
Here's white people being retarded because Marxism has infiltrated our schools and no one knows anything anymore. | |
All they know in school is that we came here with a bunch of slaves 400 years ago. | |
We killed all the Indians and then we had slaves build us cities. | |
That's all they know and that's horseshit. | |
So all they know is horseshit. | |
Okay, turn this up. | |
10 billion people on Earth and Elon Musk has $200 billion. | |
Can't he just give each person $1 billion? | |
And here's the twist. | |
He will still have $190 billion left over. | |
Isn't that concerning? | |
If there's ten... | |
Thank you. | |
The whole page is a joke? | |
This is another joke. | |
She's in on it. | |
Like, I went to his page, and everyone is retarded. | |
Well, I agree that people are retarded, but I also think that she's like in on the joke there. | |
Because he does a lot of interviews. | |
There's 10 fish in a tank. | |
Two die. | |
Which fishes are in the pond? | |
Eight? | |
Is that your final answer? | |
Yeah. | |
I'm going to give you one more chance. | |
There's 10 fish in a tank. | |
Well, anyway, that bullshit about the 200 billion made it to MSNBC, if you recall. | |
There's some black lady who goes, he could give everyone in America a billion dollars. | |
And not only did her tweet blow up, but she became a guest on the news. | |
And they both discussed Elon Musk giving all of us a billion dollars. | |
Let me be clear here. | |
There's about 300 million people in America. | |
200 billion divided by 300 million is satanic. | |
It's $666.66666666. | |
That's God saying this is retarded. | |
Yeah, remember? | |
They kindly left her out. | |
So if Elon Musk has $200 billion to spend cash, he could give us all $666, which, I mean, we'd all be back to where we were in about a day and a half, right? | |
What's the Earth's population? | |
$8 billion, $7 billion? | |
If you divide $200 billion by that many people, we could give everyone in the world about $25, which I don't recommend, by the way. | |
So keep your money, Elon, and we'll keep our schools churning out fucking retards. | |
Which brings me to Purple Works Nutrition. | |
That's the work I use every day. | |
I used it today. | |
I was trying out my new jab, which comes 60% from my big toe. | |
My right, the ball and toe of my right foot is where I get my jabs. | |
And you know what Mr. Larry Barnes said to me today? | |
Well, you see it. | |
He said, good jab. | |
Nice. | |
And that's thanks to Purpleworks. | |
And again, the thing I love about Purpleworks is you take a scoop, you put it in your water, and then you go, I don't feel like going to the gym. | |
But then you start going, and turning into the Hulk, you better go to the fucking gym or you're going to punch a hole through your keyboard. | |
So it makes you go to the gym. | |
It sort of tricks you. | |
It's rape. | |
You rape yourself into going to the gym. | |
Did you ever rape yourself back when we used to beat off to pornography or just masturbate in general? | |
Pardon? | |
Did you ever rape yourself when you were a masturbator? | |
Like, you don't want to do it? | |
And you're like, yeah. | |
And then you're like, what am I doing? | |
I don't recall that specifically. | |
the thing about not masturbating is if my wife wants to have sex in the day and she puts on some lingerie or stuff, it's like fucking a celebrity. | |
Like, I'm so excited that my duration is not impressive. | |
Although I have noticed going to the gym every day, and this could also be Purple Works, I'm lasting a lot longer when I'm in shape. | |
Oh, yeah. | |
It's like being hungover and having not worked out in a while. | |
You're like, But when you're kind of ripped, you're like, Totally. | |
And then you're also, she's like feeling your arms and stuff, and she's like, and you're like, I bet she's totally tripping out on how ripped I am. | |
Purpleworks Nutrition Pre-Workout is not only great for gym and lifting weights, it's also great for sports. | |
It works like a charm if you play football, baseball, pickleball, spikeball, or even shooty hoops. | |
However, it is especially effective for running, biking, and other endurance sports. | |
If you're a coal miner, ditch digger, warehouse worker, or if you regularly engage in other torturous or strenuous activities like listening to Ryan tell a story, this could be a godsend product for you. | |
Purpleworks pre-workout uses only the highest quality ingredients. | |
Creatin for strength or creatine, caffeine and green tea extract for energy and focus, vitamins for muscle and tissue repair, and carnicin beta-alanine for the tingles. | |
And these are these little sort of pins and needles you get in your hand right after you take it. | |
I take it about half an hour before I work out. | |
Purple Works pre-workout has no artificial ingredients and it's manufactured in an FDA registered facility. | |
It's formulated so that you don't have to cycle on and off like many other pre-workouts. | |
But wait, there's more! | |
This is going to get us shut down, bro. | |
No, there's a cover. | |
The waveforms won't match up. | |
Purple Works Nutrition has two things. | |
They just introduced a new line of fine imported Italian coffees. | |
They have ground gourmet coffee, a big-ass 2.2-pound bag. | |
I think I got that here. | |
Right? | |
Did you take the 2.2-pound bag? | |
I did not take the 2.2-pound bag. | |
Okay, well, we got the instant bag. | |
Of organic whole bean coffee, and they even have a gourmet organic instant coffee. | |
Whether you're into the French press or the bench press, Purple Works has you covered. | |
Go to PurpleWorksNutrition.com and enter promo code GAVIN for 15% off. | |
Purple Works! | |
Purple Works! | |
I don't know what I want, I'm gonna get that one! | |
Can I take the coffee from inside of the tin and bring that home? | |
Because I did run out of coffee. | |
Yeah. | |
Cool. | |
And I'll give my following review. | |
You can take the tin. | |
Tin Taker. | |
Speaking of bad education, I sent you this pic separately. | |
My boxing buddy in Ireland sent me this. | |
Is it the man of color? | |
Our boxer, the censored sponsored Harley Burke, is training with Conor McGregor's coach right now in Dublin. | |
And I'm there now. | |
This is a pre-taped episode. | |
Yeah. | |
Okay. | |
You, we have to renew this country, restore the Constitution, reevam government, revise the tax code, reestablish God back in schools, rework our entire foreign policy, and repair our broken currency. | |
them. | |
Nigga put the Nike sign on some numbers, expects me to, It's very funny. | |
It expects me to answer. | |
Is it seven? | |
Yes. | |
Nice. | |
Was it the square root? | |
Yes. | |
It's been a while. | |
I've been thinking about just practicing math in my spare time just because fuck it. | |
Okay. | |
Have fun with that. | |
Here's another example of incompetence. | |
This goes under diversity. | |
The cu I've hated for years, Hassan Minhaj. | |
I explained his background a while ago after Jon Stewart left The Daily Show. | |
It's all women at Comedy Central at this point. | |
A lot of sales girls who ended up being in charge of content for some reason. | |
They had nicknames like the killers of comedy. | |
They are obsessed with diversity, of course, so they choose Trevor Noah because he's an African. | |
And they love the idea of an African comedian. | |
Remember, Trevor came on, he started making fun of Mugabe and all the other shit that goes on in Africa, like bald people being killed because they have gold in their heads? | |
Voodoo! | |
And then he stopped doing that because I think everyone went, I didn't know it was that shitty there. | |
Let's not mock them. | |
This is bordering on picking on retards. | |
So then he focused on Trump and other more important things. | |
And then they needed more diversity, of course, because that's the most important thing in comedy. | |
Not looking for the funniest person, but the most ethnic person you can find. | |
So the lady said, any Muslims? | |
And they go, they scoured New York. | |
They couldn't find any. | |
Got some Indians in Queens. | |
The guy who killed Apu from The Simpsons, he's Indian, but not Muslim. | |
I want a Muslim guy. | |
Well, Muslims aren't funny. | |
But someone dug up some open mic loser with zero experience named Hassan Minaj. | |
And he comes to the daily show. | |
And this is the thing about white people. | |
I've noticed this with my wife's Indian side of the family. | |
They don't want you to be assimilated. | |
Because you can't say, I have a black friend. | |
And then he shows up to play golf and goes, hey guys, what's going on? | |
Did you see that knee injury with the Jets the other day? | |
Yelch. | |
I don't even know if it was the Jets. | |
And then everyone goes, you said you had a black friend. | |
That guy's a total fucking Oreo. | |
And you go, yeah, I wish I had a ghetto one, like a real one. | |
It's like if you go hunting, you want to catch a wild bear, not some bear that was like groomed for hunting. | |
And assimilated minorities are groomed for hunting. | |
They want a wild one in the wild. | |
So what Indians and mulattoes do is they ramp up their blackness. | |
Even though she grew up in Idaho with her white mom, never met her black dad, she's like, brothers and sisters. | |
And they totally spice it up. | |
And then we go, yeah. | |
So his son gets a gig bitching about his first gig that really put him on the map after his pathetic garbage is this video where he bitched about Ashton Kutcher doing an Indian accent that was totally accurate, by the way. | |
Your accents, Indians, are so easy to do that it's considered hack. | |
Alex Jones, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Indians. | |
Easy peasy. | |
So you're in. | |
He's hired. | |
But as I've said a million times, if I was funded by the Scottish Mustache Society, when I was in office, I would feel obligated to do something Scottishy-mustache-y for the people that got me there. | |
So he feels obligated to bitch about Islamophobia. | |
That's kind of his role. | |
And that becomes not just his role, his entire career pretending that America is Islamophobic. | |
And I would just like to say, I wish America was Islamophobic. | |
What a pipe dream. | |
I was thinking about if America actually was racist, there would be like a foundation called like, you know, America Against Black Drivers, and that would just be a thing. | |
And then you would see, you know, there would be people in front of a CVS with a little table and be like, this is why black drivers are. | |
Could you imagine? | |
America was racist in the 40s, 50s. | |
Right up until Martin Luther King died. | |
It was a racist place. | |
But if it was now, like brochures in the waiting room, you'd be like, why black drivers? | |
Well, we would be sitting here going, why the fuck can't a black woman get a driver's license? | |
That's fucked up. | |
Yeah, honestly. | |
I bet you anything, if we had the racist America that everyone thinks we have, it would be conservatives, Republicans, libertarians. | |
They would be the ones talking about why we need equality. | |
And the left, they'd be the commies, happy to take orders. | |
We saw this with COVID. | |
We know where their heart lies. | |
Anyway, so the New York Post exposed him and the New Yorker. | |
It's funny, the New Yorker is trying to absolve him of it, saying it's just art. | |
And it's comedy, stand-up comedy. | |
And Hassan's point is like, I didn't lie per se. | |
I was being colorful. | |
He goes, you don't go to a haunted house on Halloween and say, why are you, are there ghosts here? | |
No. | |
A haunted house, we all sign up to be lied to. | |
That's the deal. | |
With stand-up comedy, we sign up for you to tell us the truth in a funny way. | |
You didn't tell us the truth. | |
You fucking lied. | |
And you shat on America. | |
Look at him. | |
White House Correspondents Dinner. | |
His job is to shit on America and how backwards we are. | |
Meanwhile, all this country's ever done is kiss him and his parents' ass. | |
And what does he do? | |
He builds a career on white guilt. | |
Now, I blame white people for this because you like it. | |
You gobble it up. | |
You don't go, yeah, that sounds like bullshit. | |
So one popular story Minaj told in the King's Gesture, that's his comedy special, was the chaos that ensued among his family when an envelope with white powder was sent to his house. | |
A bullshit. | |
Minaj recalled thinking the powder was anthrax and rushing his daughter to the hospital when it spilled on her. | |
Luckily, as the story goes, the doctor determined the powder was not anthrax. | |
And the only thing harmed in the incident was Minaj's pride. | |
What? | |
What a stupid story. | |
And his wife was going to murder him because of that story because it puts that idea in someone's head. | |
Like, we both have daughters, right? | |
The last thing you would ever conceive of is making up a story where your daughter's in peril. | |
Yeah. | |
Because you don't even want to float the idea in your own head, let alone make it part of your comedy special. | |
Give someone an idea to write. | |
I'm not even going to give an example right now. | |
Yeah, I almost did too. | |
Like, for instance, if somebody... | |
He also admitted to fabricating the Brother Eric story. | |
You know what would be funny, though, about the Anthrax is like, it was Anthrax, but my uncle sent it because he's got a Middle Eastern. | |
He's trying to send it to the White House, and he got confused because he's inbred. | |
Minaj also admitted to fabricating the Brother Eric story in this show, in which he claimed that a white FBI informant infiltrated his family's mosque in the Sacramento area. | |
The funny man claimed he joked to the informant about him getting his pilot's license, which resulted in the police showing up and slamming Minaj into the hood of his car. | |
Fucking jerks. | |
By the way, yes, if someone at a mosque is joking or says they're getting their pilot's license in a nudge, nudge, wink, wink kind of way, please do go to his house and please do slam him up against the car. | |
How many times have you heard about Muhammad Atta and the people who saw him getting his lessons and didn't want to sound Islamophobic, so let him go? | |
Prejudice saves lives, folks. | |
If you see something, say something. | |
The funny man claimed he joked to the informer. | |
Oh, yeah. | |
So the idea for the story apparently stemmed from a time when Minaj and other teenage Muslims were playing pickup games with middle-aged men they thought were cops, one of whom apparently pushed Minaj to the ground. | |
So they're playing pickup basketball with Gen Xers, my people, and their pussy millennials. | |
And during the rough housing, he falls in his bum bum. | |
That becomes the FBI infiltrated my mosque, which he probably doesn't even go to, and slammed me up against the car. | |
Fuck you. | |
Remember when I met him, right? | |
He said, we're looking for someone, his producers called me and said, we're looking for someone who defends female soccer players getting less money. | |
And I was like, what has two thumbs and thinks women in soccer deserve less money? | |
This guy. | |
So we did it. | |
And then they totally changed the whole thing and pretended, they bastardized my argument and did what the Daily Show does. | |
They edited around it to try to make me look bad. | |
So I exposed them in this video. | |
You could zoom out so people can look it up on their own time. | |
It's pretty long. | |
That's on Rebel News. | |
Gavin McInnis, how the Daily Show tried and failed to make me look stupid. | |
Current, we have Bobby Daniels. | |
Bobby Daniels. | |
Okay, let's go. | |
Okay, so this is a funny joke. | |
Yeah, he goes, name some women in soccer. | |
And I just, I could have said, I don't know because I don't care because I don't watch it. | |
Like no one, like everyone else. | |
I don't watch women's soccer. | |
And he goes, Or soccer in general. | |
And he goes, okay, name some names. | |
So then, as a joke, I start making up these crazy names, which he falls for. | |
And then after the interview, I go, I just made up those names, by the way. | |
And he goes, oh, shit, really? | |
And then makes that his joke. | |
Right. | |
And says, look, he's lying. | |
Looking back, part of me thinks they kind of leaned into the joke. | |
They kind of made your joke a thing. | |
Yeah. | |
Because it's the only funny thing probably that they could pull off is making your joke a thing. | |
You know what I mean? | |
Like, none of these are shitty. | |
Not a player. | |
Ziggler Norris. | |
Also not a player. | |
But the idea is that people think you're serious. | |
Ziggler Norris. | |
That's insane. | |
Hi, I'm Ziggler. | |
Norris. | |
A guy known to everyone as Junebug. | |
Come on. | |
A guy known to everyone as Junebug. | |
And if you're going to make up fake names, do better than Junebug. | |
That's the best you can do. | |
Yeah, literally. | |
Pretend I was serious when I was joking? | |
Wow. | |
This is way too much. | |
So this is the incompetence crisis. | |
I like that guy's art, though. | |
You hired a guy because he's Muslim, so he goes, okay, I'm the Muslim guy. | |
All right, what's your life like? | |
Hell. | |
Oh, really? | |
Tell me more. | |
The FBI threw me around. | |
Wow. | |
And then terrorists sent me anthrax. | |
What? | |
Rednecks are sending anthrax now? | |
Shut the fuck up, you wiener. | |
What a loser. | |
Oh, and then he said, I remember one time he was talking about his show being canceled. | |
And he's like, my kids grew up with this show. | |
We're all taking it pretty hard. | |
What? | |
Your kids are three. | |
I remember watching that as a baby. | |
And then when I was one, it was my favorite show, Daddy. | |
Fucking loser. | |
We're also seeing the death of meritocracy in construction and the trades, which is not a place you want to see people failing. | |
Here's a montage of a guy at a construction site, beautifully putting them all together. | |
Remember, you sent me that. | |
Yeah, this is great. | |
Good catch! | |
*Rainful music* | |
That one's just funny. | |
That one's funny too. | |
He's using his pants as a trough. | |
Thank God. | |
Safety first. | |
What a perfect face to have in between us. | |
Wistful. | |
Even Anthony, with his house in, where is it, Greenville? | |
Yeah. | |
It's falling apart already. | |
The hospital we toured that we're going to have our baby at, they said, yeah, they had this brand new wing, and it was open. | |
It's going to be open in October before you guys give birth, but they had to close it. | |
And we were like, because the banisters were falling off the fucking walls. | |
Like, all the things were being just like gutted off. | |
Banisters are falling off walls? | |
Yeah, you know, like they have like a railing, so I guess you can't bump into the wall, or maybe you could hold it if you're old and weak. | |
Oh, I see, okay. | |
And those were just like, I could see that there's like a space between this shit. | |
And then also, the railing has this fake wood on top of it, and you could see every seam. | |
It looks like shit. | |
It looks like you built it out of Legos. | |
And like the natural gravity of it is like tilting it down off the wall. | |
So it's not secure. | |
Well, here's some good news with the competence crisis. | |
When you are qualified, you're drowning in work. | |
So if you want to be a plumber, a specialized plumber, you better be ready to be making $200,000 a year. | |
Or, say you do some renovations in someone's basement and you do a great job, like the guy Matty O hooked me up with, Matt. | |
Dude, like when I tell my friends about him, I'm going to be like, I fucking found one. | |
And money is not really an object. | |
Like if you're repairing your house and this guy's like 20% more expensive than the others, you're getting that money back when you sell the house. | |
And there's nothing like having a qualified reno in your home. | |
It's a great feeling. | |
Conversely, when you just have a house built like Anthony did and it rains and you start seeing drips come into your brand fucking new house, it couldn't be newer. | |
It's not even done yet. | |
It's so new. | |
And he has to redo the roof. | |
This was an article here about how young people today, and I like these because I want to get away from diversity, have no idea what they're doing. | |
How do I do that? | |
The new hires of 2023 are unprepared for work. | |
Do you know how to get through that, hack through that? | |
Remote learning during the pandemic left students short of basic skills. | |
Now companies are trying to teach them on the job. | |
And they don't want to learn. | |
That's the other problem. | |
You can't get a VPN thingy. | |
I just tried my little trick. | |
I noticed that with Vice. | |
And so this is millennials, I guess, where I told you about this before, right? | |
I go, could you work this weekend? | |
No, I got some me time. | |
Okay, how about 500 bucks? | |
And you keep going up with the money. | |
You can get to 50 grand. | |
And they'll be like, no, thanks. | |
I guess because they haven't suffered, money is no longer an incentive. | |
Anyway, you can look that up. | |
Dude, there's that thing that Elon Musk put out that, remember, where he said you can bypass... | |
I forgot the name of it. | |
You can bypass all the paywalls. | |
Oh, here's a spooky one. | |
We got a letter from a baby monster. | |
He says, not sure whether to chalk this one up to incompetence or malice, but a major Ontario school board has just removed all books from before 2008. | |
That's when I left Vice. | |
In order to adhere to a new government equity regulation. | |
Apparently, the Diary of Anne Frank was not inclusive enough. | |
And I guess the hungry caterpillar is a metaphor for Hitler. | |
Boy, the Ontario school boards have done so much damage to this fucking country. | |
And then he has the link there. | |
I don't even understand that. | |
I guess we were all too racist up until 2007. | |
What? | |
And what do they do with these books? | |
Maybe burn them would be a good policy? | |
Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry. | |
Yeah. | |
Every book was made before 2008. | |
Like when you think of books, you don't think of post-2008. | |
That is so weird. | |
I bet if I went through my bookshelf, 1% of them would be post-2008. | |
And same with every bookshelf around. | |
Everyone watching here, go to your bookshelf right now. | |
Show me how many new books you have. | |
Maybe like J.D. Vance, that hillbilly elegy thing. | |
I mean, I can think of like five modern books. | |
What a bizarre ritual. | |
All right, let's get behind the paywall here. | |
It's almost been an hour. | |
Before we go, I would like to recommend Nita Fashions. | |
I've got my name here. | |
I chose this lining, by the way. | |
I don't know if you can see it. | |
It's like elks heads and various tartans. | |
It's a power clash with my tartan suit, my purple tartan suit. | |
I've got all the basics now with them. | |
Black suits, white suits. | |
And now I'm getting kookified. | |
And when you go, so you make an appointment, check out their schedule. | |
You make an appointment, and they have like, when they see me coming, they're like, all right, the G is here. | |
Let's pull out the kookified book. | |
And you have all these looks. | |
Like, there's two things. | |
There's the books that shows you the suits, and you can go, I like that one. | |
Or there's the actual textiles, and you can design the suit from scratch with them. | |
Sorry to sound like a homo, but it's fucking fun. | |
And you're pampered, you're re-measured. | |
Oh, is your waist getting bigger, buddy? | |
Okay, let me check that neck. | |
You got a fat neck, my man. | |
They measure me, they have all my... | |
And they'd maybe have some questions about the buttons. | |
I chose these buttons. | |
But it would be in my doorstep in a couple weeks. | |
So you go there, you make an appointment. | |
You can do, if you're the cheapest cheap, you could probably get a shirt for 50 bucks. | |
You could probably get a suit for under a thousand. | |
And even if you're a blue collar and you never wear a suit, you go to weddings, you go to funerals. | |
You should have at least one. | |
And when you have it tailor-made, it feels like PJs. | |
When I come home in my suit, I go to the bar after work sometimes wearing my suit. | |
I come home, I don't run to the bedroom to change into my basketball shorts. | |
Like I tuck the kids into bed wearing this shirt with maybe my tie is off because it feels like peepee jam jams. | |
It feels like PJs. | |
I asked you to pull up the schedule, bro. | |
Oh, yeah. | |
So I think they start around October 18th in a couple weeks. | |
Oh no, September 22nd. | |
So in two days. | |
Or no, wait, it's Wednesday. | |
Today. | |
Today. | |
They just started today. | |
They're in Palo Alto, California. | |
So you make an appointment. | |
You can contact them through their Instagram. | |
That seems to be what you young people enjoy doing. | |
You go there, you get fitted, you choose things. | |
If you got money, you can get a ton of suits. | |
I'm going to have to buy a new rack because I have too many suits from them. | |
And when it arrives, it's like Christmas. | |
Oh, yeah. | |
It really is one of my only joys. | |
Like, Gavs tab, obviously, my home bar I love. | |
My car, I love. | |
I love booze, but that's not really a thing. | |
That's more of an addiction. | |
But this is one of the few, like, surprises where I go, this is exciting. | |
And, you know, you feel like you're in control of your own destiny, too. | |
And you really don't know what it's like to have a tailored suit until you have a tailored suit. | |
And then you're like, what the fuck was I waiting for? | |
I was so uncomfortable. | |
Even like in the summers, so you get like a linen suit. | |
And during a heat wave in July, you're not hot. | |
You're fine on the New York subway in August. | |
Because it's all breathable fabrics. | |
Hello. | |
Filson pants, Barracuda, Harrington. | |
I think that flannel is called Portuguese. | |
We're safe when we're in New York. | |
American optical glasses. | |
What do you get now? | |
And Todd Snyder Chuck Taylors I'm wearing. | |
And that's just a casual entry. | |
Anyway, so check them out. | |
Sign up for that. | |
Tell them that Baby Monster sent you, and you'll get a discount. | |
But let's get behind the paywall with more incompetence. | |
I'm not going to throw these, right? |