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Aug. 18, 2023 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
46:59
S4E285 - GODDAMNED WHITE TRASH (Part 1)

After mocking Ministry for their terrible Proud Boys song, we go through some local news and then bash feminism au bout!

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Time Text
We need your help.
I'm talking, of course, about extremism.
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
Run counter to everything which can actually tear at the fabric of who we are as an institution.
An institution, an institution, an institution.
We need your help.
Okay, wait.
Go back to the beginning.
Go back to the beginning.
We need your help.
I'm talking, of course, about extremism and extremist ideology.
Views and conduct run counter to everything which can actually tear at the fabric.
- Everything which can actually tear at the fabric of who we are as an institution. - Stop.
So this is a new Al Jorgensen.
The guy has not aged gracefully.
He's been playing the same song for a good 40 years.
It's cheesy and just... With the drum machine garbage.
He had that hilarious Antifa song that we lampooned where you can see how bald he is.
He's got all his dreads.
His dreads are basically, they end here.
Like this is his hairline.
So he always has a hat on or something.
But um, that was very embarrassing for Antifa.
Now this is a Proud Boys attack, which seems to be all the rage in the alternative scene these days, right?
Is that Australian band that said they would rather die than be Proud Boys?
And then there's the, uh... What was that other one?
Oh, the Run D.M.C.
M.D.C.
Redid their Skinhead song, but made it about Proud Boys.
P, because you're so pooped.
And now we have this, but this video is bizarre.
But before I get to that part, the very beginning there, he just said there are views that could be damaging to this institution, like the system.
So they're saying that Proud Boys are bad because they could damage the institution that is you know the government.
So ministry are on the side of the government now and against extremism and you know traitors and storming the government January 6th that's evil to the alternative scene.
So the alternative scene has been taken over by the government and now they are petrified of Of radicals.
Like, Al Jorgensen was just saying, we don't want radicals.
They could damage this institution.
I'm dressed like this, by the way.
I just got back from Rockaway Beach.
I'll tell you all about that in a second.
This is actually not Friday.
We're in Baltimore tonight.
So we're driving right now.
And I can't do the show, so this was taped right before the cop show on Thursday.
And I just drove in a second ago.
I'm sorry, I've got so much to talk about.
Fucking kill you, you fucking faggot!
Fucking faggot.
The breathiness from my hand.
I didn't know I was going to be yelling for this long.
So anyway, this video is a proud boy who looks great, by the way.
He's very muscular and he looks like he's about 50.
And he's recruiting all these guys who look pretty cool.
And one of the proud boys is gay.
And you're like, yeah, that's what I've been screaming at you.
It's not a white power, right wing Nazi group.
There's blacks, there's Jews, there's gays.
But they, they put the gay guy in the Proud Boys to insult us.
It's kind of an insult to gays, isn't it?
Yeah.
So now they're like, Proud Boys are white supremacists and also faggots.
And you're like, wait, that's not how, you got to get your side right, bro.
Like your side is radical.
Your side is anti-government.
Your side is pro-gay.
You got the anti-racism part.
You got the wrong group, but you got that part right.
But this video is so low IQ.
Also, it's called white trash.
And you'll notice that with a lot of the left.
They're classists.
They don't like rednecks.
They don't like hillbillies.
They are those people north of Richmond.
Like Appalachians, they can go fuck themselves.
They're disgusting.
They must hate, like, the poor blacks in Chicago that kill themselves and kill each other.
No, they like those.
Oh, they do?
That's weird.
In theory, not in practice.
They don't want to live there.
But they listen to their rap music and stuff.
And they pour a little out for their dead homies.
The Chicago mayor, by the way, was just quoting Tupac twice in one speech.
And his quote was, real eyes, realize real eyes.
You know, that stupid library is where they put the lies.
It's like you don't do any research, but listen to the actual word.
Anyway, sorry.
All over the place.
I haven't seen you in a while.
So let's get back to this insanely shitty video.
- We need your help. - Help! - Are you jacking off someone?
- We need your help.
The White Boys.
Why not just say Proud Boys?
We're not gonna sue you.
Why beat around the bush?
Like you don't have the bravery to name the actual bad guy you're talking about?
You just use his shirt?
You can do that.
We're dating Ferrera.
An incarcerated individual at San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department.
This call is not private.
It will be recorded and may be monitored.
If you believe this should be a private call, please hang up and follow facility instructions to register this number as a private number.
To accept this free call, press 1.
To refuse, thank you for using Securus.
You may start the conversation now.
Hey Mercedes, you're on the air.
Yeah, I couldn't answer the phone earlier because I was driving back from Rockaway Beach and now I'm shooting a show.
But I don't want you to think I'm ignoring you.
No, I know you're never ignoring me.
I'm always happy and grateful whenever I can talk to you.
Cool.
Do we have any unturned stones?
You say you've got a good new lawyer now?
Things are... I do.
I have a new lawyer.
His name is Robert Little.
You can reach him at robertlittlelaw.com.
And, well, I'm currently housed with a woman who has put into mental health multiple times that she might hurt herself and others at any moment.
Well, she's 400 pounds.
Yes, she is.
She's a homicidal lunatic, and I think they put her in your cell to kill you.
Well, she's black, and I think she might.
So, you know, that's great.
And I think, and I've complained to mental health multiple times, and They just told me too bad.
Let's tear it up with that.
Alright, we gotta get back to the show, but I just answered to show you that I'm not ignoring you.
Well, if I die or get paralyzed, you guys know why.
Okay.
Just so you guys know.
Keep complaining and keep trying to get her out of there, and I'll talk to you soon.
Alright, love you guys.
Bye!
Do you think she'll really get That's what they did with Tommy Robinson, right?
They put him in with the Muzzies who tried to kill him.
They threw boiling water on him, but he deked it out and knocked him out because he's fucking Jason Statham.
How many people in those prisons aren't Muzzies?
In the particular prison he was in, 60% were Muslim.
Yeah.
But there's certain prisons where the density is higher, like if it's near Luton or Birmingham, it's going to be higher than, say, Glasgow.
OK, can we get back to this?
You've got to see this, man.
It's insane.
Uneducated and ready for war.
I just tweeted out in Getter this David French article about the lost boys of the far right.
What's happening is people are getting radicalized and what that really means is they're no longer buying the whole white people suck, America sucks.
You know, that viral video I did with Heather, what's her name?
Marie Scholl, where I said the dominant narrative in America is that America sucks and it was built on racism and stolen from the Indians.
And that's not selling anymore.
And it's making the left very nervous because they're ugly and weak and stupid and small.
And if we start going, yeah, I'm actually going to work out and I don't feel bad about myself.
I'm not apologizing anymore.
Then they lose their currency.
They're fucked.
If we start making fun of Al Jorgensen and we don't think his skull gloves are spooky, he's lost all his power.
Right?
It's like in Monsters, Inc.
when the little kid laughs and then the guy has no power anymore.
But see if you can dig that up from my getter, dude.
It's David French.
And he says, they act tough.
They seem like they've got an edge and they want to fight.
But deep down, they're lost, weak, terrible, soft little boys looking for a home.
And it's like, says who?
You?
Who are you?
The nerd from National Review who thought he was going to become president?
The fucking ugly shit stain of a man?
Oh, that's a different one, but click on that one.
That's just like everything you've been told is a lie inside the wellness to fascism pipeline.
In other words, that guy, and look at him, this is who we're talking about here, that guy doesn't want you to work out.
Stop working out it's turning you into a fascist.
No, you get in shape, you get wise, you get healthy, and then you start questioning the narratives.
And they're shit scared about it.
You think he complained when they gave him the pink background?
Nope.
You think he picked it?
Yep.
They probably have it for all men at the Guardian.
They all get pink and the girls get blue because we're mixing it up.
And you'll read through their fascism and they're like, oh, are they denying the Holocaust and saying blacks should go back to Africa?
No, they're just dubious of the vaccine and some of them are dubious about, you know, the fires in Maui and was it arson and normal curious stuff that good people are wondering about.
They're questioning the election.
That's fascism.
To question authority is now fascism.
Okay.
I thought it was the other way around.
I don't think fascists like to be questioned.
But okay, questioning authority is fascism.
But find my other one there.
It's right before that.
No, no, keep going.
You're almost there.
Yeah, that one.
So that's David French.
Click on that.
The Lost Boys of the American Right.
You got to see David French.
There he is, this ugly, bald, loser, nerd.
And he's telling you that guys, proud boys, basically, he never says that.
That's why they say boys, right?
They are weak and lost and scared.
Prove it.
Prove it!
Show us some examples of Nick Fuentes being scared.
Notorious white supremacist.
Anyway, let's go back to the video just briefly.
So this is evil.
Uneducated!
Yuck!
Imagine being uneducated?
Ew, gross.
Look, so that, the guy in the pink scarf is gay.
And that guy's clearly some sort of Mexican on the left.
Yeah.
Is that Enrique?
I guess.
Enrique.
So that's bad?
White boys, what the fuck?
Like these Nazi fags, basically they're saying.
Look at his face.
You know white guys like Machete?
White brother, does he say?
What the fuck, you have a Cyclops on your team?
Like, that guy looks pretty handsome.
Shouldn't they be losers?
Okay, there you got one loser-ish guy.
But your band looks about the same.
So they ride around on horses with Confederate flags.
That's, by the way, that little part there is the first insulting part I've seen with this club.
The other times they looked pretty cool.
Wait, what's he saying?
Indoctrinated, the facts are ignored.
Indoctrinated, the facts are ignored.
Cringe.
Man, I must suck to be in that band. .
But this probably... Okay, so he grabs his ass because he's a fag.
What are you doing, dude?
Oh, and then they cut to the shaman.
They cut to the guy at Chan 6.
So now industrial alternative people are mad that you would question the election or storm the White House.
What?
Whatever happened to, like, burn the White House down, fuck the government?
Now it's like, fuck that guy for questioning the government!
He's uneducated!
White trash!
And he happens to be, yeah, I don't remember how fat he was, I guess.
It's been a while since I've seen Jake Chansley, but... Keep playing it.
Apparently he's a fat, disgusting dude.
Like that.
No, I don't get the picture.
Your picture's all over the fucking place, Al.
Oh, so that guy's just fucked the leader.
And you can tell he's gay because he has pink boots.
Wait, are they the type of band to be like, USA is like a scam, man.
Yes, so then you should also want the government steps stormed.
These are your friends then.
Yeah, I don't get, like, why doesn't Antifa support Jan 6?
Yeah, well they did.
Because they're rednecks.
Yeah, they did.
They were there.
Covertly.
So he's gay.
And that's an insult.
I haven't watched this far yet.
That guy seems cool.
He seems like a cool gay dude.
With a cool knife.
He's got hobbies.
He's in good shape.
Why didn't you use a fat loser for the main guy?
Yeah.
Who's not gay.
Yeah, so you, Al, you're saying you support that thing in his hand and you don't want it desecrated.
What?
What did he just-- What are those bugs?
Oh, they're the kind of roaches you can buy online.
Madagascar hissing cockroaches.
And it's so stupid when people do that because they don't look anything like our cockroaches.
So it's just some bugs.
I feel like a lot of your fans might be this white trash that you speak of.
Yeah, I think a lot of your fans are uneducated, bro.
And there ain't nothing wrong with that.
Yeah, who do you think your, like, Westchester moms are listening to?
Wait, is he mad at his guys now?
Look, the white boys, the Mexican white boys are upset.
I don't know whose side they're on. - And who says white trash?
Like, that's what a rich southern lady would say.
That poor drummer.
He was so excited to be in that video, but he's actually a machine when Al's on tour.
Or in the studio.
All right, we get it, right?
There's no new parts?
Look at this.
This is very confusing.
Connect the dots.
Destroy Babylon.
Smash the ivory tower.
Okay.
Take down the things of power.
Killer removed.
Okay, so destroy Babylon.
Isn't the White House Babylon?
Right.
And then the ivory tower.
Take down the things of power.
I got a, I got an Uber.
I was in Rockaway Beach this week and I got an Uber from, the A train says it goes there but it also goes in another direction.
There's two A's for some reason.
So I got in the wrong A. So the driver, the Uber driver is Jamaican and I can hear him talking to his friend on the phone.
And he goes, what's going on?
And I go, all minor things, you know, I got Babylon closing in on me, you know.
And then he didn't say another word for the rest of the trip.
And I thought, obviously he doesn't like me, but I thought, did you think that, because Babylon specifically means the police in Jamaica.
So does he think I called him because I'm on the run from Babylon and like step on it?
Me don't want fi know.
Don't fi divulge information in fi me.
I just drove a guy who was on the run from Babylon.
I tried not to look at him and I dropped him off, you know.
I didn't see you.
Mercy to God.
The way this video ends is, by the way, him getting killed.
I don't know, you saw that?
No, I haven't watched it all.
I think I deserve some sort of award for making it this far.
Oh his own men turn on him.
So here's what's interesting is the only way this song would make sense from their point of view is that they're saying that the government actually false flagged the attack on themselves so fuck the government they're liars and then also these white boys these proud boys are just useful idiots that were in on it.
Right.
And it was all fake.
This is another government thing.
Oh look the gay guy's holding him.
Why do they have those aluminum sheets things?
So they think we watch them and we go, AHHHHH!
I've been to Proud Boys weddings, where Proud Boys were wedding each other.
I have a picture of them wearing their Fred Perrys holding each other.
I put it up on social media a million years ago.
Anyway, that was fun.
In other racist rock news, Phil Anselmo was saying some rude things, and they just cut him off.
It was at Dime, you know, Dimebag Larry was the guy from Pantera who was killed, so they have Dimefest or something?
Bagfest?
And he was saying racist shit, so the promoter goes, yeah, you gotta go.
You gotta leave.
And so he reacts the way most drunk people would react, which is to triple down.
So everyone's saying, like, ooh, this is juicy.
I'm just like, yeah, you provoked him and he exaggerated.
Yo, John Bass, thanks for coming out tonight on Lucky Strike Live.
It's been a pleasure having you all.
You guys are the only awesome musicians.
Ronnie James Field, stand up and shout.
Cancer Foundation.
Thank you very much for coming out.
You know what I was saying, too, on social media recently?
All of these hate watch guys are like, this person did this.
It's making people zeig heil and say white power and be offensive just to spite the nerds.
Like the nerds I just showed?
Those people are so annoying, these little hate hall monitors, that people are saying hateful shit just to piss them off.
So now hate is on the rise, and now they have a job, and then these guys doing it out of spite, they have someone to hate, and it just, they're codependent, they need each other.
So if you are part of a hate watch organization, you are creating hate where it did not exist.
Way to go.
So although this is Friday to you.
Oh, we got to read some ads.
It's free, right?
We do the free part at the beginning.
Yeah, cut it with the racism.
I've seen, we've seen that first hand, I think.
I don't know if it's on the tour or something like that, but they're like, they're trying to be friendly, but they're also like, and the smile goes away.
They're trying to pretend that they're, oh yeah, hi everybody.
And really they're... It's not very metal, right?
It's so passive aggressive, that's what it is.
It's like so infuriating to see that.
So tonight in Baltimore, Jimmy's Seafood, we are doing offensive spoken word.
And I used to get nervous for these shows, but then I realized I'm the only person, well we are the only people, who can say whatever the fuck we want.
I'm already cancelled.
So I can make the most offensive jokes, and that's really cathartic.
Because then you're like, I don't have to worry about anything.
And the audience enjoys it because they can't hear jokes like this anywhere else.
Speaking of which, Purple Works Nutrition.
I took the week off from the gym, so I'm not on Purple Works right now.
Long-time viewers of the show have undoubtedly noticed that I've become exceedingly jacked and shredded over the last several months.
Look at those pipes.
They are bigger than ever before.
Watching some old content of you and you look scrawny.
I used to be known as a comedian, a provocateur, and a well-read guy with a quick wit.
Despite still being all those things, it seems nowadays people just think of me as the muscle guy.
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There are no artificial ingredients and it's formulated so that you don't have to cycle on and off it like many other pre-workouts.
It gives you a kick and helps you bear the brunt of grueling workouts with great ease.
It even tastes almost as good as an M&M Blast, which of course is my favorite.
And I've told you, you get these prickles in your hands and you have to work out to make them go away.
If you just take Purpleworks and go to work like at your job at a keyboard, you get the pricklies for way too long.
This, you like, you have to get it out.
And I told you also, my past few workouts, usually they're like, oh please, and argue with the guy, like, not burpees!
But my past, like, five have sort of been like, yeah, fuck, is that all you got?
Although I think I pulled some muscles here.
But I wasn't crying for half the workout the way I usually do.
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You know what I've also noticed too?
Like when people go like this to me, I feel harder.
Yeah, that's good.
And people, Ann Coulter was once talking about my suit or something, and she was like, what is that?
Is that a seersucker?
And as she went like that, she goes, oh jeez, you've been working out.
It feels good.
That feels good to be reliable, you know?
You feel like, oh, I'm safe.
I'm a sturdy rock man.
I'm sturdy.
Yeah, when I go in... Oh, by the way... Purpleworks!
Purpleworks!
Anyway, they told me to do that.
No, they didn't.
When I go in and I'm laying there with my daughter so she falls asleep, sometimes she'll go, and she'll like crawl on my chest and then just kind of fall asleep there.
But I'm too hard.
Like her mom, Squishy's got the boobs.
For me, it's like uncomfortable.
So she'll go like, The fuck?
And then she'll roll off.
So your chest is less soft than a pair of tits.
Okay, that's a good goal.
But it's like a stone.
Yes, okay.
Me.
Should we go through some of the...
Let's just briefly go through the photos, because I haven't seen you guys in a while, and I want to empty my camera.
I went to Ottawa to talk to my parents, my brothers, having some troubles there, family matters.
I mowed their lawn and took down some, what are they called?
Greco trees?
Those weedy type of trees?
I forget what they're called.
First pick is NSFW.
Is that okay?
What is the first pick?
That's my dad.
My parents have no problem with nudity.
He wouldn't mind that I was showing this.
But I didn't like it when I was a kid when they were fit.
Now that they're old, they look like something out of Lord of the Rings.
That looks like someone who thinks the ring is very precious.
And he's wandering around like that.
His fucking skin falling off.
My mom does it too.
And she looks even more interesting in her old age.
They're in the basement now.
Not the basement, the ground floor.
They have this big beautiful mansion.
They don't go in the living room.
That's my dad's, they sleep in my dad's old office.
They don't go up the stairs.
And they live, they grew up in apartments.
They were working class.
So now they're in like an apartment in their giant house.
They don't use a dining room.
They eat at a little tiny table just like in their apartments when they grew up.
Isn't that interesting?
He's got tons of money, but his interests are old Milwaukee and the pub and watching Rebel News on a $300 Google computer.
That's their salt?
It's just in a bowl.
You pinch it.
And that's the table they eat at.
Next.
I thought this was funny that they had pictures of themselves.
Like, you're supposed to have your grandkids and stuff, not yourself.
Well, here's us old, and here's us young.
With some antique mirrors.
A lot of poor, cheap people will have heirlooms that they use all the time.
Like their corkscrew for their wine is like silver.
It's probably worth 400 bucks.
But they're so cheap, they don't get a new one.
So they just dip into like the display case and start using things that were given to them by like great grandfathers in Scotland.
Next.
That's the coffee, just instant.
The coffee machine doesn't work.
You just take instant from that mug and put it in.
Next.
There's my gay uncle who told us that he hated coming to North America and was never coming back and he burned his passport.
And then we found these pictures of him in San Francisco in his secret gay life.
Dude, just be a fag.
Nobody cares.
There's a cloth she knit me to do the dishes.
Thank you.
She said to me, I like knitting because I get exercise for this finger.
Normally the only exercise I get with my fingers are naughty times with your father.
I think she was implying she fingers his butthole or something?
That hat I thought was funny.
It's for a hunter.
She makes a hat a week.
And I don't know where they go.
But that hat has an orange dot on it for a hunter so he can not get shot.
Okay.
That's a lawn I did with a plumb line there.
I mowed their lawn.
They can't, they can't push the mower.
It looks wobbly.
It's not.
That's the, the, it has like dips in it.
So you're seeing a dip.
It's actually straight if you were staring at it.
That's my grandfather was a painter, an artist.
So he made that.
That's one of my favorite drawings.
He would just use like chalk and stuff.
Next.
That's a great poutine place and a weird Canadian standing staring at it.
Next.
I said to them, I go, I don't want your fancy poutine.
I want the basics.
And they go, okay, here this, here's the classic, Mr. Mr. McInnes.
And there it was.
Oh my God.
Was it fucking good.
Sumax.
That was a tree I cut down.
Sumax.
I cut down a hundred sumax and broke the tool.
May have had a few beers first.
There's the Herb and Spice we used to steal from.
Remember I told you a story about stealing the groceries?
We had a punk house, and the fridge was just full.
Tofutti, ice cream, all kinds of stuff.
That's because we stole it from there.
And then I taught the next generation when we left, the scam.
Okay, you put the garb- you put- steal the groceries, then you put garbage on top, and then you say, I'm gonna take this to the garbage, and then you put it in your car.
They got caught in three days.
You can't- I hate handing the torch to someone and they drop it on the ground.
Next.
That's my old, my first job ever.
Well, second job.
I used to wash dishes there.
It hadn't changed a thing.
A bit.
And then I look over and I see the chef, and it's the same chef, not the same person, but the same, like, sitting down there, and he's scowling.
Canadians, when they recognize me, they don't say anything like, fuck you, the way they would in New York.
They just seize, which I prefer.
But I noticed that New York had made me more bombastic and aggressive.
Like I get to my dad's gay bar, a gay bar?
I get to my dad's bar with my luggage.
I went straight from the airport and I go, I didn't know where to go, but I just Googled gay bars.
I knew I'd find you here.
And I could see people like, there was probably a gay at the bar like, oh.
Or the bartender goes, yeah, I wanna come down to the States, but I got a fucking felony and they won't let me down there.
I go, yeah, they're really tough on pedophiles.
And then he goes, hey, hey, hey, hey!
It's called a good joke, bro.
They're there sleeping in my dad's office in the apartment in their house.
I don't know why I included that.
I don't know why that's there.
Just a big thing of margarine.
Next.
That was a coupon that says, from the Ontario Proud Boys.
I guess they got them a coupon for flowers?
Next.
Pasta and sauce.
So you can get like real Italian food in any major city in North America, but the Brits like their shitty version.
So they go to an Irish and Scottish store and they get cheese, leek and ham pasta and sauce.
They miss their shitty food.
Comfort food, I guess they call it.
Those look gross, but they're fucking amazing.
It looks like prison food.
That's the meat pies.
Matty did a meat pie recipe on one of his shitty little kitchens.
Next.
That's my haul from the Scottish store, some iron prunes, some meat pies.
I kind of ruined it with the maple syrupy cooked beans that were just too sugary.
Next.
So now, are we done with all the Ottawa stuff?
No, there's a video from Ottawa, Ryan.
Oh, the video, fuck.
Jesus H. Christ.
Well, good thing we just almost stepped out of Ottawa.
No, we did.
We went to Rockaway Beach.
Accidentally.
But here we are.
But I thought you had ordered all these correctly, because we didn't want to have a fight again.
Yes.
So how did you fuck up?
I just forgot the video, because I was so consumed by, are these in order?
You were so consumed by worrying about things in order that you forgot that something wasn't in order.
Yes.
That's a new one.
I was like looking along at the names of the things.
We told you to go by the grid.
Yeah, yeah, but... Anyway, show the video.
Flip vertical.
So I'm at my old school here, D.
Aubrey Moody.
Junior high.
This is where I was in the special class for retards.
And this, there were trees here that we would climb.
I remember getting shoved out of one into the ice.
Yeah, there was some rough housing and bullying.
There's a creek here that is now fenced in.
And I think these were willows, so they would absorb all the water.
But now that the trees are cut down because, I don't know, litigation, now it's all flooded.
This is what happens when you take away risk.
You end up with a desolate shithole.
It's like when they take away the diving boards from pools because they don't want kids hurting themselves.
Now they jump in from the shallow end because they don't know where the deep end is.
The diving board used to show them where the deep end was.
Stop with this safety shit.
Helmets.
Then we went to Rockaway Beach.
We rented a bike.
The guy was like, do you want a helmet?
I go, helmets are for retards.
That was a cool church, great pizza place.
It's a really interesting sort of early Williamsburg, like 1999 Williamsburg vibe, where it's crackheads and losers and then hipsters on top of them.
And they don't know what to make of each other.
But I went down there.
Did I already mention this?
No, I went down there because there was a shark attack on Rockaway Beach.
So all these cheap Airbnbs showed up, and there was this really cool baseball camp I've been trying to get my youngest into.
It's the Cyclones.
The Cyclones are in Coney Island, and they have their own stadium, and it's a farm team for the Mets.
And it's really hard to get into their kids' baseball camp.
But they had cancellations because of shark fear.
So we get down there and we can't get in the water because someone saw five sharks together in a swarm.
So I kind of fucked up.
He says she was alone out there and only about 10 feet out into the water when she was bitten.
That's exactly where I went.
I just got back.
I just got back. - You're being treated after lifeguards used a buoy rope as a tourniquet on her leg. - It was me and my coworkers on a beach, cleaning the beach.
I seen a lady in distress in the water.
She was just-- - I seen a lady in distress in the water.
Disgrace.
In other photos too graphic to share, a large section of flesh is missing from the woman's upper thigh, which sources say was found on the shoreline.
Lifeguards say this happened just before 6 p.m.
I was talking to her or whatever, but she still was kinda out of it. - Or whatever. - In other photos too graphic to share, a large section of flesh is missing from the woman's upper thigh, which sources say was found on the shoreline.
Lifeguards say this happened just before 6:00 PM when they go off to-- - Sources say that the woman tasted disgusting.
- The water was choppy with heavy water.
Alright, next.
Oh, that was a woman showing me her underwear, so I googled it and saw they were $31 male underwears.
Pissed off my daughter.
She thought it was racist that I was doing that.
- Has not been identified. - All right, next.
Oh, that was a woman showing me her underwear, so I Googled it and saw there were $31 male underwears.
Pissed off my daughter.
She thought it was racist that I was doing that.
Next.
So that's Diker Heights.
Diker Heights is sort of South Brooklyn, not really, not as South as Coney Island obviously, but it's where all the Italians used to live and they go nuts during Christmas with their lights.
You drive down there, it's hard to find parking, and you just walk like 15 blocks and you see, they spend so much money, it's insane.
Like tens of thousands of dollars, giant snowmen, their whole house is lights.
And now it's all Chinese.
So are they going to continue that tradition?
I don't know.
But when I say it's all Chinese, I mean, it's all Chinese.
I don't see Chinese people doing that.
Do you?
Nope.
Nope.
So that tradition is probably going to die.
It's kind of sad.
There's good things about the Asians taking over, but there's some, some bad things.
And the lack of color is going to get depressing.
Yeah, so that's the train in Diker Heights.
Passing through Diker Heights.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15.
15 people, all Chinese.
Chinese are worthy adversaries.
They're smart.
They don't take over and demand rights and show signs.
They just like, in the middle of the night, just shoom!
Isn't that what Shane Gillis got canceled for?
Saying, where do these Chinatowns come from?
Next.
Wait, that's not chronological, buddy!
This.
Is it?
And then it goes to this.
Yep.
And then there's one more video, which is 2983, so in two more pictures we have a video and that closes it out.
Okay.
Or we go back to pictures for... No, you're right.
You're right.
Okay.
Dude, I went to the worst driving range in the history of the world.
You gotta see their Yelp reviews.
It was National Lampoon level.
It's called... What's it called?
Airport?
Um... There's a picture of the place.
Brooklyn Pro Shoe Golf Center?
No, no.
Air... Air... Oh, fuck.
It's airport, way, golf course or something?
Aviation?
Yeah, aviation.
Aviation... Golf...
No, they got me in Virginia.
Anyway, it's by Coney Island.
I'm sorry, it's by Rockaway Brooklyn.
It's abandoned.
I said to my son, I'm like, this is what you'd expect.
This is the Mad Max driving range.
Like if there was a plague and everyone in the world died, and we still managed, they had canned food and stuff, and we managed to live like 40 years after everyone else, this is what the driving range would be like.
It was, it was, it was so bad that you could see where your ball landed because it would inevitably hit a puddle, a mud puddle.
And because they don't take care of it, all the balls get super dirty.
And oh, and the machines that pick up the balls, they're trucks.
They're pickup trucks with just like steel on the windows in the front.
Look at that cozy little place to go get your, your golf lessons.
There it is, Aviator.
Oh man, that is not what it looks like.
They should be sued for that.
See if you can see their Yelps.
It was fascinatingly bad.
The bathroom was fucking disgusting.
I was so glad I had golf gloves on so I didn't have to touch anything.
Yeah.
And the way you get the way you buy your bucket of balls...
Okay, read me some of these.
Uh, if you get a hole-in-one, blah, blah, blah.
Okay, those are good.
No, no.
Let's see.
Is there a way to s- There, let's look at the one-stars.
Worst quality everything.
30% of your bucket is cut up or balls from 1968, so forget actually practicing.
The grass tees are all sad, so that's not an option.
The mats aren't that bad, but the only upside is the pitching range.
Also, they don't take cash or credit card.
It's nearly 2023.
COVID is over.
Yeah, you have to sign up to their fucking website.
Wow.
Please, any, please, please upgrade anything.
Look, they're responding to everything.
Every year the faculty adds 10 to 20,000 balls to supplement inventory.
Worst driving range I've ever been to.
Number one complaint.
The balls look like they've been there since the 70s.
The staff's completely apathetic.
This morning there was a guy collecting balls right in the middle of the range with a rake and a bucket.
He doesn't care if he gets hit.
The response from the guy in the office was, you can't, you can't hit away from him.
You can hit away from him.
I love this one.
It is impossible to exaggerate the poor quality of the golf balls that are sold at this location.
No decent golfer would return.
The balls are simply unhittable, worn out with no dimples, scarred, ugly, worthless.
It is as if it were a burger joint selling burgers whose meat was rotten and full of maggots.
Yeah, it really was.
Like I was saying to my son, shouldn't the federal government come in?
Like, if you were selling poison at a McDonald's, they'd have to shut you down.
The federal government golf agency has to shut this down.
The demand is there for a high-quality driving range in Brooklyn.
These people have no idea how to run one.
Blah, blah, blah.
This place was fucking garbage.
They didn't even have real tees.
And you could barely hit a ball with the noise of the fan.
I didn't hear the fans.
The tokens they provide for the bucket are unsanitary because they don't even wear... What?
Okay, next.
$5 deposit for a rubber tee to buy in bulk for about 25 cents And then he's got okay.
So let me see my pictures of that fucking I was just there like three hours ago That's why I'm dressed like this So now we go to the video What was the video?
Oh, that was the quality of the balls.
- Remember that show, It was really good.
It was the guy from, um...
SNL.
And he was he was the only man left in the world.
Yeah.
And he he goes to the White House.
He steals some paintings.
He plays golf.
You know, he wrecks some stuff.
He eats and he just sort of walks around in his flip flops and a housecoat.
This is what I feel like.
The last man on earth.
Yeah.
You feel like the last man on earth at this driving range.
This show rules.
He's playing tennis in the White House.
Oh, Will Forte, yeah.
That guy is fucking funny.
Look at that.
I mean, zoom in on anything you want there.
It's just like mud.
That's a pickup truck you see in the corner there.
That's a pickup truck.
Mud and bald patches and sand and dirt and birds and animals.
Like, they don't pick up those balls, because the machine doesn't see them.
Those are actually barnacles.
It's just a bench.
Next.
That's one of the balls.
And that's the bathroom.
Amazing.
Wow.
Amazing.
That's my trip, folks.
Oh, let's read the last one and then we'll go into some fun news items.
I want to talk about Southern Girls.
I love them, and I want my sons to marry them.
But before we abandon the freeloaders, I want to talk about Johnny Apple CBD.
Today's episode of Get Off My Lawn is brought to you by Johnny Apple CBD, a loyal sponsor since day one.
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Head over to johnnyapple.com or jacbd.com.
Use the code Gavin at checkout and you'll get 25% off your entire order.
Infinitely cheaper than buying from the dispensary.
Support Johnny Apple, support the show.
Now let's get back to the show.
You know what I heard of chicks doing?
Putting the topical cream on their feet if they're going out for a night with high heel shoes.
Takes the pain away.
Takes the edge off.
I told you that I like doing it for if I'm having trouble sleeping, if I'm cutting down on the booze.
But I always say, if you're going to be getting CBD, any kind of CBD, gummies, tinctures, anything, why not buy it from someone who's been supporting the show you love?
A pro free speech company.
When I find a guy who does glasses and he's mega, that's my glasses place forever.
I would do the same if it was bread or cheese or golf balls.
If there was a MAGA driving range and it looked like that, well, it would be tough.
But it was half decent?
I would go to that one.
Let's invest in our community, folks.
Alright, so I got plenty more to talk about but not for the freeloaders.
Tonight we're doing the End Racism Show at Jimmy's Seafood in Baltimore.
Antifa will tweet out the location.
It's really dumb because they don't show up or if they do there'll be two of them and they're in a room.
There's always like a dozen Proud Boys there.
You're gonna get your ass handed to you if you confront us.
So they don't.
They just tweet it out on social media and say that they That we're gonna shut it down.
And the police chief fell for it in, um, where was that place in New Jersey?
Roosevelt?
Rushmore?
Fuck.
What the fuck was it?
I'll remember as soon as I... With an R. Rutherford.
East Rutherford.
They fell for it, but most people now just laugh it off and say, I don't know what you're talking about.
Bye.
So, yeah, that's the kind of fun shit that happens here at Censored.TV.
Endless content.
And the shows that aren't my shows you'll also really like.
Atheism is Unstoppable.
Josh LaCache, Jim Goad, Lotus is fun.
We've got the Canadian Retard on Sundays.
We do reruns of my old show, TGMS.
Of course, I do a show with Anthony Cumia every Wednesday.
We've got the Sports City Sports Show.
It's just a lot of high-quality content for $10.
Though I think we're going to raise the price soon, so you might want to get in under that before we do.
And we've got new contributors coming up.
Elijah Schaefer.
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