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Aug. 14, 2023 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:54:15

S4E282 - THE EVERYTHING SHOW (Part 1)

In a brazen attempt to show the freeloaders EVERYTHING we do on GOML, we crammed in a couple of stories from basically every general topic we cover: Green Screens, Feminism, War on Kids, LGBTQ, My Pet Biden, Competence Crisis, Racism, Proud Boys, Mail Bag, and Final Video all get their due. Finally, the subscribers get a special treat. Gavin translates Biden's gibberish into coherent English. Unfortunately, our intrepid host pays a hefty price.

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes.
	Nah.
	That was Delicate Steve!
	A lot of people better than Jimi Hendrix.
	Like who?
	Steve Marion, a dude from New Jersey, very talented guy, better than Ryan on guitar.
	- No way.
	- And Ryan's better than Jimi Hendrix, so I guess Delicate Steve is better than Jimi Hendrix.
	- A lot of people better than Jimi Hendrix.
	- Like who?
	Yingy Malmsteen?
	- Yingy Malmsteen on some level, yeah, but not really, maybe creativity level, not as much.
	What about that can't stand the weather Stevie Ray Vaughan.
	Stevie Ray Vaughan that's up in the air I think technically maybe a little more proficient but where he had lacks in technical proficiency Mr. Hendricks he had to get more creative.
	Stevie Ray Vaughan is a little more to the book blues.
	You know what one of my favorite Jimi Hendrix songs is?
	Besides the obvious?
	Oron Wachtower?
	Have you heard that one where uh... He's going in like a spaceship?
	Submarine?
	Sea vessel?
	I'm going in a spaceship!
	Hey!
	And they said a man and a woman can't breathe underwater!
	They... Bown!
	Down, down, down, down, down!
	Him and his girlfriend have decided to move... To the ocean.
	Forever.
	I know what you're talking about.
	Um...
	By the way, I'm allowed to play that music because I discuss it.
	That's Steve Marion.
	He calls himself Delicate Steve.
	It's editorial.
	Yet Michelle Schacht is suing me for playing Anchorage, Alaska.
	I'm in court right now.
	Are we Varys of Neptune?
	Yeah, I think that's it.
	Or a mermaid.
	Mermaid.
	Mermaid man.
	It's a jam.
	I wanna be a mermaid!
	And my mermaid lady, she said, hey... I bet Jimi Hendrix is happy he's dead because he doesn't have to hear how talented you are.
	He doesn't want to live on the same earth.
	If he heard how talented you are, he would just throw his guitar in the sea.
	Forever.
	I said, I want this little Asian boy to throw his guitar into the sea.
	I didn't know that if a Japanese hairdresser fucks a Puerto Rican hairdresser, they make something better than me, man.
	Maybe I could have gotten a haircut from one of them.
	That's a trip, man.
	Your hair is your tentacles.
	That's how you feel the universe.
	Hairdressers are satanic, man.
	This weird thing with his voice I can't get.
	HUH Says Says Says Says It's impossible!
	Yeah, that.
	Wait, you missed the best line.
	That's true.
	They're right, James.
	Don't go down there.
	You cannot breathe underwater forever.
	And also, if some guy's going to shoot his old lady, call the police.
	Yeah.
	I don't care if she cheated.
	Speaking of cheating, I'm on Purple Works Nutrition right now.
	It's my pre-workout.
	I gotta say, today at the gym was one of the first times that I actually felt like the song.
	This is a legend!
	Like, usually, they're like, show no mercy.
	I'm like, show mercy.
	Please, show mercy.
	Ow!
	Ow!
	Burpees!
	Yeah, a minute of burpees.
	A minute of burpees!
	That's 99% of my work.
	I was just crying and whining.
	Or it was, until I discovered Purple Works Nutrition.
	And today, I was like... Like in a commercial.
	For working out.
	Doing flies.
	And whatever these are called.
	Rows?
	No.
	Wait, those?
	Wait, pulling them back?
	Face pulls?
	There's weights in my hand.
	Okay, they're not attached to that... Oh, you're laying on your back?
	Yes, not on my back, at an angle.
	I don't know.
	Okay, so you push them up though, right?
	Like this?
	Are you laying down like this?
	I'm at an angle, 45 degrees, and then I'm going like this, touching them together, and they're 20 pounds.
	That looks like a fly, yeah.
	Yeah, I guess it's a different type of fly.
	And this is a fly too.
	Angle fly.
	Well, that's like, no, that's reverse for your... Back.
	Yeah, yeah, rear delt.
	If you're a regular viewer on this show, you've heard about Purpleworks Nutrition.
	It's the number one reason that I've been looking so jacked and swole.
	Purpleworks make a pre-workout, which is what I use basically every time I go to the gym.
	I've told you about how they have no artificial dyes, no artificial flavorings.
	I've told you about how they don't nuke your system with 10,000% of your daily value of this or that vitamin.
	You're just going to piss that away anyway.
	Purpleworks has an expertly crafted array of incredibly high-quality ingredients that are formulated to give you the kick you need to get you through even the most grueling of workouts.
	And if you're one of these bozos who say, hey Gavin, is this manufactured in some sort of Wild Wild West facility where there are no rules?
	Well, to that I say, of course not.
	Purpleworks Nutrition's Pink Lemonade Pre-Workout is manufactured in an FDA-registered facility that is also GMP certified.
	But wait, there's more!
	Purple Works Nutrition has just introduced a new line of fine Italian coffees.
	They have two types of ground coffee, a 2.2 pound bag of organic whole bean coffee, and they even have organic instant coffee.
	All their coffees are at a great price and are important from Italy, the ad writer says.
	They're important and imported.
	Go to purpleworksnutrition.com and enter promo code GAVIN for 15% off.
	So, there's a lot of inside jokes going on here.
	I was mocking Ryan earlier because he tells me that he's better on the guitar than Jimi Hendrix.
	That's what that inside joke was.
	Wild Wild West, it's a pet peeve of mine that people think it's not called the Wild West and they add a wild because they heard it in a Will Smith song.
	But uh this show is for the freeloaders and I want to show them everything that is in a typical episode.
	So I'm going to cram every single subject we regularly discuss into this show including the letters and including the end.
	Now you're not going to get It's a Thursday show, in this, where me, three cops, and a robber go through police videos.
	That's cops and robber.
	And that's Thursday nights.
	Uh, sorry.
	You can't have... You can't always get what you want.
	But, uh, this will give you a pretty good idea of the show.
	Now, oh, Fart Beans.
	I forgot to send you, Ryan, this thing.
	This dude, Rolo Tomasi?
	He inspired a new segment I'm gonna do in the green screen called, uh, Let's Get Annoyed.
	We'll get to that in a second.
	Was it a tweet by Brittany?
	Well, that's related to it, but this is before that.
	I'm emailing it to you now.
	Oh.
	And, um... Oh no, that's not it.
	Goddamn.
	Goddamn!
	This is how legends are craved!
	Forward to Ryan.
	So, this guy, he calls himself the King of the Manosphere.
	I've never heard of him, because I'm not into that stuff.
	Though, I don't hate it!
	Like, I hate that Andrew Tate took advantage of very lonely men and let Ukrainian models dupe them out of money, but I don't hate this whole, like, men getting in touch with their stuff.
	I think Proud Boys do a much better job of it, because you get to party.
	No, not that one.
	That's for racism.
	Uh-oh.
	Here we go.
	But it's pretty fucking corny, generally.
	Hey, George.
	I guess that's the name of Rollo Tomasi.
	Sorry I took so long to respond.
	Had to wait for Brittany to finish a few things.
	Firstly, I'm endlessly impressed with your ability to believe and spread literally any piece of salacious gossip you hear.
	I certainly learned a lot about myself.
	So, this dude, this Manosphere, he hates feminists.
	Okay, I get you.
	But he's chosen Lauren Southern and Brittany Venti as some of the bitches holding man down.
	What?
	What?
	So to fuck with him, Lauren sent a bunch of fake information about her, including that she's dating Tim Pool.
	She's pregnant with Destiny's daughter.
	She sent him, had someone sent him fake ultrasounds and shit like that.
	And he fell for it hook, line and sinker.
	Speaking of which, I got sent recently all kinds of inside scoop on Steven Crowder's divorce with his wife, including depositions from the nanny and transcripts from the case, and I was like, I'm not running with this.
	It all makes Crowder look really good.
	Right.
	And I sense that Crowder is sending it out and saying it's a leak.
	Like you got to be a little dubious of your sources folks.
	Especially in this area where you're fucking with pranksters.
	So go back to that thing?
	Yeah.
	So if you go down, you can see, thanks to John Du Twite for the Photoshop work.
	I guess he made a bunch of forms and shit.
	This is sort of like when Tommy Robinson got prank called.
	Yeah, he used a fake number to call a British journalist and pretend that he had a big scoop about Tommy fucking everything that moves.
	And underage girls and stuff.
	And the journalist was so fucking excited.
	He couldn't wait to take down Tommy, who takes down pedophiles.
	Because in this day and age, and we'll learn this when we get to our war on kids segment, hunting pedophiles is not cool anymore.
	The left doesn't like that.
	It's homophobic, I guess.
	Okay.
	I don't care what it is.
	I want it done.
	If all pedophiles were gay, I would still want them dead.
	Black?
	Handicapped?
	Sorry.
	I don't care.
	Bad is bad.
	Good is good.
	Anyway, I looked into that dude Rollo a little bit after learning that Lauren and Brittany scammed him.
	And the fact that he always has a fucking bandana on, hiding his baldness.
	It's kind of a Tim Pool thing.
	I mean, I do it in a way.
	I comb my hair over a thinning part in the back.
	So I guess this is technically a comb over.
	But if you're super bald, like your hairline is here, I don't know, fine.
	You're old.
	It happens, but to constantly be pulling the beanie over our eyes and pretending you're not bald, it's fucking embarrassing, bro.
	Like it's weirder than getting hair plugs or wearing a toupee.
	Go to his, go to his Instagram.
	It's right below his name, Rollo Tomassi.
	And these guys, they pretend that they just love hats.
	Like The Edge and you too.
	I'm just a huge hat fan.
	Okay.
	Are you ever not a fan of hats?
	Nope.
	Never ever.
	I always love hats.
	Covering my head.
	I like a head wrap.
	Yeah.
	Look at my head wrap.
	Look at this.
	I'll get another one.
	Hold on here.
	This is how legends are started.
	Yeah, you should be logged in as me.
	Why did you log in?
	I am, I am.
	Okay.
	Look at all the, like zoom out from the grid and just look at every single picture.
	Nice guitar.
	Is that a nice, it looks like a baby guitar.
	Is he huge?
	Is that how you make yourself look big?
	You buy children's guitars.
	But look at that.
	Every single fucking moment, he's pretending he's not bald.
	Even in bed, he's got a hat on.
	What the hell?
	I'm the ma- What is the Manosphere, anyway?
	Wait, who's taking this picture?
	Zoom in.
	The guy.
	Alright, so let's jump to the green screen and get annoyed.
	Wait, hold on.
	Oh, jeez Christ.
	Oh my God.
	I told you it's gonna be a fast-paced show.
	I know, but it's really great.
	We're getting everything.
	Let's do a fireball.
	Hey, China.
	China!
	Such a, such a, such a China!
	Why is that available in CVS, please?
	Why is there beer, I think wine, and only one liquor available at the drugstore?
	And that is Fireball.
	It makes me think it's malt liquor and it's not real.
	All right, usually my green screens are very well researched.
	What are you doing over there?
	Hello?
	My board froze after I switched different input.
	Hold on.
	Your board's frozen?
	Am I still being recorded?
	Yep.
	Just a controller.
	Okay, then we're back.
	Okay.
	I don't believe you.
	No it was.
	See I said there are different like presets and I had to set a preset so that way I could do this.
	Okay.
	So often these green screens are very well researched.
	It'll be like things that blow my mind or things I just don't understand or ten things I'm jealous that women have.
	Like, here's one thing that makes me jealous about women.
	They can have a keychain with like 900 things on it, and that just goes in their purse.
	We got three vehicles.
	I got the studio keys, home keys.
	If I were to put all my keys together, it would just be this massive hedgehog of steel.
	And if I put that in my pocket, it's uncomfortable.
	Chicks can just carry infinite key sizes.
	That's cool.
	Anyway, this is not organized at all.
	I'm just barfing it out.
	These are just things that have annoyed me in the past 12 hours including this fucking dude and his I'm not bald hat.
	So let's just start randomly with it.
	What happened was photography got really really good by 1900 and artists at that point up until... On the one hand, I appreciate this guy because he's not ashamed to be bald.
	He's going taking the David Cross route.
	Although David always wears a hat these days.
	But he's talking about the importance of photography while the autofocus is consistently getting confused with his mug and his mug.
	So there's nothing more frustrating than hearing someone talk about the importance of photography while their photography is fucked up.
	I don't know if that's true.
	I know a lot of artists back then used mirrors.
	I'm not sure Rembrandt was part of that crew.
	I think a Vermeer was one of them.
	Press to get really photorealistic stuff.
	And when photography totally took over the photorealism, seeing as it was photography, artists then in 1905, we started to see full- Stop!
	You show this, he goes, all right, how did it turn out?
	And his friend goes, magic, man, it's fucking great.
	All right, let me see.
	Cecil, what?
	We can't use this.
	It's going in and out of focus.
	Why don't you manual focus it?
	And he goes, no, it's fine.
	We cut to a lot of images of art and shit.
	Yeah, no.
	We're not using it, mate.
	You fucked up.
	No, put it out there.
	Let it go.
	I'm an expert on imagery.
	And by the way, he's talking about 1900 was the end of photorealism and nothing was surreal before that.
	The Impressionists were in the 1800s.
	There was tons of surreal art throughout the history of art.
	It didn't end when the camera began.
	So your hypothesis sucks and you suck.
	And we started to see Expressionism, 1905.
	1907, we started to see things like Modernism coming out.
	Cubism.
	Then in the 1920s, we get Surrealism, we get Dadaism.
	And these were non-photographic approaches to art.
	And that's exactly what is going to happen now with AI, as AI starts doing something with art.
	I'm so sick of British people talking like they're smart, and Americans going, it's a British accent, he must have gone to Oxford, so I believe you.
	Hey, Louis Theroux, stop coming to America and talking to poor people and hillbillies and going, oh, hmm, I didn't know that, like we're all retarded.
	You got plenty of your own retards.
	Thank you very much.
	Man, humans are going to reinvent new ways of doing it that AI cannot do.
	And that, to me, I think is incredibly exciting.
	What happened was photography got really, really good.
	So that's fucking annoying, isn't it?
	And I kind of feel like AI's done.
	Like those dumb, sort of saturated paintings that they do, we're already annoyed at looking at those.
	We're already done with those, aren't we?
	Yeah.
	I saw one thing that's pretty cool.
	It was at the MoMA.
	I don't like AI art.
	I think it's very demonic.
	But, like, bullshit like this they have at the MoMA.
	This is, like, new right now.
	So, like, it's just doing it by itself.
	It looks cool, but it doesn't have that sort of human connection and making... Yeah, it just looks like an eye into Satan's soul, generally.
	It's not annoying.
	It's evil.
	The butthole microscope.
	A butthole microscope, sure.
	Next annoying thing, I think I'm gonna jump back to Rolo, am I?
	Oh, uh-huh, yes.
	What's the next one that annoys the shit out of me?
	Oh yeah, so Brittany Venti is really cool.
	I don't know why I put this in here.
	I guess I've already spent my Rolo chips, but just click on her for a second.
	She's great.
	She's on our team.
	She hosted my show once.
	Yeah, Aerodite's another one.
	Brittany Venti, Brittany Venti, I got I got some things to say about Britney.
	They are all guys who only care for what's best for women.
	Of course, they are.
	They are all feminists.
	Every one of those girls that you mentioned are feminists.
	Being called a feminist by the red pill manosphere sect of the internet, like Rolo Tomasi, is like being called a racist on Twitter.
	The word has really lost its power.
	But according to Rolo Tomasi, or should I say George, not only am I a feminist, but also a Christian.
	They are conservatives, and we're good, good Orthodox Catholics, and we're good... Orthodox Catholics?
	What?
	Those are two different things.
	Yeah.
	Good God, Bible worship, Bible reading Christians, and we go to Bible study.
	I'm not a Christian, but it goes to show how much research he does on the people he so confidently speaks on.
	Okay, I'm going off on a tangent here.
	This is looking very slapped together, but one thing that really irritates me with the hat thing and the I'm not bald thing is it comes across as an old dude that wants to fuck young chicks.
	Like, why are you constantly talking about these young girls and what they're like and having young girls on your show?
	Look, he's got some bikini picture behind him.
	You wanna fuck young girls.
	That's what the vibe I get, which is a creepy vibe.
	For these old dudes trying to look cool.
	And try to say, like, I'm one of the gang, I'm one of the crew.
	Look, I'm hanging out talking to them with my hat on so I don't look bald.
	Remember my buddy Steve?
	He's bald, and you know, you get crow's feet, and he would, going out, he loved to fuck young girls, and he'd go out and he'd have a baseball hat on and sunglasses.
	I'm like, what the fuck are you doing?
	It's nighttime.
	He goes, this is my old man disguise.
	Like, you still have wrinkles down here, dude, and your fucking, your stubble is white.
	Okay, final example of this, terrible green screen, is this dude, what the fuck is his name again?
	Nathan Sharman?
	He's like a totally hot YouTuber man who's like surfing and he's got his family there and he wants to rock out with you guys.
	Look at that hat.
	Look at that hat on a man my age or maybe older.
	I'm 53.
	He's kind of wrinkly in the neck.
	That could be like 58.
	58 and your hat is on your head like a McDonald's toy.
	Like a Happy Meal gift.
	Look at him.
	Listen, at the Met Gala next year.
	What is that?
	This is what inspired this entire segment, was that fucking hat.
	What are you doing?
	It's a yarmulke.
	Are you a baseball Jew?
	What is going on?
	You have a baseball hat on 15% of your head.
	Are you allowed outside?
	One, the slightest gust of wind.
	I just want to go to him and go, And watch his hat go flying like he's on the Alabama docks and he's about to fight white people.
	Here, will there be aliens walking in?
	We're all with young girls.
	- I know, Anna.
	- They're all with young girls. - I don't know what they look like. - You know what I mean?
	Like they'd be like, you know, this is our biggest event of the year.
	- Okay, aren't you so curious?
	- We wanna welcome you in open arms, please, alien.
	Tom Ford is gonna be dressing you.
	- Yeah.
	- And actually you will be dressing-- - Ew, he's gossiping with young girls.
	- Aren't you so curious what they look like? - So curious.
	Why won't they show us?
	Is this how I'm finding out that aliens exist on the All Good Things podcast?
	I hate dads that are into YouTube and getting clicks on YouTube.
	It's such a weird thing.
	Then they're gossiping with young girls.
	It's got groomer vibes.
	All right, back to work.
	That green screen sucked balls.
	Before we get to feminism, our next subject, I just want to say that Johnny Apple CBD sponsored today's episode of Get Off My Lawn, along with Purpleworks Nutrition.
	It's been a loyal sponsor since day one.
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	You know what I've noticed?
	I'm cutting down on booze drastically.
	And, uh, when you do that, you can't sleep because you're used to just being knocked out by bourbon and you wake up every hour, like ready to face the day.
	And I find with these, um, if I do wake up it's momentarily.
	And I, I, instead of waking up with the horrors and all kinds of bad thoughts, I just, I'm at the movies all night.
	Like lots of dreams, yeah.
	By the way, I really want to see Meg 2.
	Me too.
	With the family.
	I've never seen Meg 1, but it looks pretty cool.
	It is.
	They're both, well, they're all awesome.
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	Support Johnny Apple.
	Support the show.
	Now let's get back to the show.
	And with that said, let's get to some Feminism.
	Who here identifies as a feminist?
	We are the storm.
	The very form of change that the world has been waiting for.
	You said I was too pretty to fight.
	That's toxic masculinity.
	You don't realize how your behavior is hurtful.
	I thought this was funny.
	I've always accused women, and I don't like this segment to become chick bashing, but I've always accused them of being terrible at hypotheticals.
	Alright, would you rather kill your parents or have to eat shit until you die?
	I don't want to do neither!
	I'd rather become a billionaire and fly.
	Okay.
	Well, I guess that's the end of that fucking, um, what's the word?
	Ultimatum.
	So this woman presents a guy with a scenario.
	You hate club girls, but what if you're at a club?
	Uh, what would you do?
	And then she goes, wouldn't you just dump her?
	Cause she's at a club and you hate club girls.
	What?
	She abandons, she abandons her scenario before he can even answer her question.
	I love this show, by the way.
	to the club too.
	But in her situation, she was saying if you knew that she was going every weekend, that was her.
	And you basically made it like that's okay, basically.
	And now all of a sudden you're taking it back.
	If she came to me and she said, Brian, I want to be in a monogamous, serious, committed relationship with you, I would say, okay, Here are my terms.
	Wouldn't you cut it off before that?
	Because she's not your type of girl.
	Because she goes out all the time.
	Wouldn't you just go find someone that fits more into that?
	And also, why would you go to a club looking for a girl if you don't want a girl in the club?
	That was in her scenario.
	No, but she gave me this hypothetical scenario.
	I think you just cut it off, to be honest.
	I want to create a... I've written this down.
	Did you catch that?
	This is a dream world hypothetical.
	So, the woman you love turns out to be a clubber.
	How would you feel?
	I would tell her, first of all, that I don't like you going to clubs if we're in a relationship.
	But why are you dating her?
	She's a club girl.
	What?
	Like, they don't get these situations.
	I saw a much worse one than this, by the way, and it was some Asian chick on the show, and she goes, I have an OnlyFans.
	It's to honor my grandfather's legacy.
	See if you can dig that one out, Jamie.
	He's a priest, and he never had any money, so I'm gonna honor his legacy by being a whore, basically.
	You're a prostitute if you have an OnlyFans.
	And that's gonna help his dead body?
	Because I guess I'll make some money for the family?
	And it wasn't even a given that she was giving the money to... Yeah, it's that girl next to her.
	Yeah, go back a bit.
	I'm gonna be honest, I lost my grandpa.
	Yeah, go back a bit.
	Check whenever you're speaking.
	How long you been doing that?
	Just about like two months.
	Only fans.
	I just started.
	You just started?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	What got you into it?
	If I'm gonna be honest, I lost my grandpa.
	He's very close to me, so I kind of want to go with his legacy and I kind of want to... This is a 65 IQ, which you don't usually see with the rice balls.
	But that's a really bad idea because I think that's not a good way to come up with money and share that with my family, but I have it.
	Wait, you're saying you want to do OnlyFans to honor your grandfather's legacy?
	Not in that way.
	Was he like a porn star or something?
	No, it's kind of like... My grandfather was a porn star.
	That's a good t-shirt idea.
	Wanting to kind of like keep his legacy going, but in that sense... Hold on just a sec.
	We'll get back to that.
	What?
	Is it not going to trigger?
	Hello?
	Okay, I'll just read it.
	Martin, what do you get when you mix a comedian and a blank star?
	Okay, shut up, shut up, shut up.
	I've also accused women of not being funny because they don't know suffering.
	Like, there's two things that make humor good.
	One is, well, concentration, testosterone, suffering, and also, as John Cleese points out, you have to be mean-spirited.
	Most good jokes are actually evil and taking the piss out of someone and being mean.
	Like, I started this show mocking Ryan for thinking he's better than Jimi Hendrix.
	That's what humor is.
	So then, by those rights, a woman who suffers should just be as funny as a man, right?
	She's probably got some anger in her for what the world has done to her, and the suffering has given her a thicker skin and made her more humorous and self-deprecating.
	Yes, I am saying that.
	Take this severely handicapped chick, for example.
	I hope a big, big boy likes girls in wheelchairs and chicken nuggets.
	You get it?
	Yes.
	Isn't it awesome?
	Yeah, it's funny.
	I checked out her page, they're all good.
	Two different shoes by the way, that's just funny.
	Oh, she does?
	Let me see.
	Wait, isn't one of them like a foot brace?
	No, well there's a foot brace above that shoe, so she went through a high top converse, and then she also, or I don't know if there's a converse, and then she's like, well, I guess I'll wear that on my other one.
	Fuck it.
	What a funny gimp.
	I've also noticed when you see a super hot chick and she has a good personality, she usually has a severely handicapped brother.
	So if you see a chick with a retarded brother, get on that.
	She's a good person.
	I don't get that.
	I guess we're supposed to go look at the link.
	Oh, she's OnlyFans-ing.
	Frederic's Ataxia.
	What kind of pervert is going to her OnlyFans?
	That's funny.
	There isn't a cure or treatment.
	All right, last thing on feminism.
	I thought this was interesting and it brings us to the war on kids, which is next.
	This spinster old broad.
	These are the ones who write articles about Proud Boys.
	They hate their life.
	They're a colostomy bag for everyone's cum.
	Their boyfriends are in the double digits and they come over after 3 a.m.
	and they leave around 9 a.m.
	They want to continue their sleeping at home.
	And they write for Huffington Post, and Slate, and Daily Beast, and all this shit.
	And they have a lot of free time, and they have some extra money.
	And they go to Africa, for example.
	I love to travel, they always say.
	I could never have kids because I love to travel.
	So as Joshua Cash points out, this is what happens when one of them meets an African tribesman.
	Okay, your oldest brother is?
	Ninety years old.
	Our father is 118 years old.
	Wait, what's your father's job?
	I don't believe you.
	Can you count?
	I don't think you're good at records.
	My elder brother is a medicine man.
	My father producing children.
	I have 57 brothers.
	48.
	Maybe they count days as like how many times the sun goes away and if there's a cloudy day that could be 5 days.
	But you only have two kids.
	How many?
	Me, yeah.
	There's certain things like that, by the way, that will just be this time vortex.
	The sun is rising in the sky today.
	Today we have been talking for two months.
	Before me to be a Christian, my target was to have five wives.
	Ten children per wife.
	- My question is, how old are you?
	- I am 30 years old.
	- No children?
	- No, no children.
	- Why?
	- You're joking.
	- Isn't it interesting that she probably has like natural hair, her afro, and she can't use all her products 'cause she's traveling.
	So instead of being proud of it, in fucking Africa, where it was invented, she covers her head.
	And don't tell me she's Muslim.
	No, they intend to have children at 35.
	In New York, people have children like 35.
	No, they intend to have children at 35.
	It never works out.
	By waiting what?
	And if you wait till you're 4035, you will not have children.
	Wait, you just said zero.
	Now you want two?
	She's laughing at these naive tribesmen that think women should have children.
	What a dummy.
	Speaking of children, let's get to the war on kids, another subject we discuss.
	We are living in an ageism era where children are seen as human garbage.
	Regulations to indoctrinate American school children with poisonous and divisive left-wing doctrines.
	Anytime someone says something bad about things you love or think are good, say or what?
	Like, compare that to what?
	Like, say someone says, you suck.
	You go, okay, well, I'm a 50-something dad with three kids.
	Who's better at this?
	Who's doing a better job?
	And this is especially true of America.
	You know that Heather Marie Scholl thing that went viral where she said, we don't have the best system.
	America sucks.
	Capitalism is evil.
	And yeah, you can sit there and shit on America all day long.
	You probably have a lot of valid criticisms until it's compared to someone else.
	So they get mad about Make America Great Again.
	They go, when was America ever great?
	And our buddy who got bottled in the face for having a MAGA hat, remember him?
	He's in the ambulance, and the ERs are saying, when was America ever great?
	To him, as his face is falling off.
	When this didn't happen?
	Yeah, yeah.
	When my face was on, undamaged with broken bottles.
	Fifteen minutes ago, fuckface.
	So, this always happens to me.
	I always see these people criticizing America and I'm like, okay, that one's valid.
	Yeah, okay.
	And then you go, what?
	But wait a minute, wait a minute.
	What do you got?
	And by the way, you're clearly using your tits to sell your philosophy.
	Your philosophy can't be that great if it takes two tits to send home.
	She's got philosophy cups.
	Sorry.
	The main reason why we left USA is because we became parents.
	Okay.
	And we started to see the negative parts about America.
	Stop.
	What do you think that accent is?
	Negative parts about America?
	Slovenia or something?
	Or it could even be Colombian?
	Yeah.
	You know, some of these... Argentina?
	Yeah, yeah.
	It's one of those weird, every accents.
	Like, it sounds like all of Europe and all of South America.
	Okay, so, you're parents and you don't like America.
	Alright, I'm open to criticism.
	I'm not a fascist.
	What are five things that suck about being a parent in America?
	Go.
	Number one is cool, more or less.
	True.
	I just feel like the family is not in top priority.
	True.
	That is absolutely accurate.
	I think that we live in a lot of... The left especially has this sort of anti-family culture that's not cool.
	Not cool.
	Me no likey.
	Way to cram your tits into every shot.
	And they look like a butt crack.
	I think they're real saggers.
	Not that I hate saggers, but...
	Not a lot of people share my incredibly wide taste.
	I like this many different types of tits.
	In fact, it's easier to list the tits I don't like.
	Penis tits, tits that come up like bananas and look like a ferret head, and of course, totally flat pancakes with zero meat inside.
	So, 0.01% of tits I don't like.
	Stop.
	Mass shooting on the rise.
	Now, yes, if you are totally clinical about what mass shootings are, four or more, yes, you're going to find that that is wildly disproportionately African-American.
	There's a myth going around that Dylann Roof represents mass shooters.
	That is not remotely true.
	Go yourself, look up the top 10 biggest mass shootings in American history.
	You'll see, the pattern you'll see is mental illness, but you'll see a wildly disproportionate number of African Americans and a wildly disproportionate number of Muslims.
	So I sense that she's not aware of that.
	I sense she's talking about Dylann Roof.
	But, uh, okay, yes.
	Black gun violence is killing a lot of people, and it is a bummer, and I can see hating that about America.
	That's not what she meant, but if you're a total robot, you could make that point.
	Stop.
	Yeah, that's all blacks.
	That's all gang kids grabbing... Do you think she's from Moldova?
	She is.
	Oh, she is, yeah.
	That's... What is that?
	That's a gypsy town.
	Former USSR stuff.
	Yeah, it sucks.
	It's a fucking shithole.
	Um, but, if I, like, I'm taking her points literally, and I don't think she understands what she's saying, but yeah, these poor kids, baby mama has her coke dealer over, she's blowing him to get enough money for a Louis Vuitton bag, the little kid sees his piece sitting there on the coffee table and she picks it up and accidentally shoots herself in the head.
	That's what those 12 children die from gun violence.
	It's not school shootings, you silly cow.
	You stupid gypsy bitch.
	But okay.
	Overpriced childcare.
	How is this even legal to pay $1,700 for a single kid?
	- That's for a single kid. - Yeah, well why don't you stay at home with your kids?
	- Black girls, yes in America everything is possible, but I need to pass up every day, every hour, otherwise you're gonna be a little bit-- - You sound lazy. - Nobody cares about the personal time, Well, wait a minute.
	If you want more personal time, why don't you stay home with your kids?
	You don't have to be a money-making machine.
	Are you just greedy?
	Food quality.
	Did you know that there's a lot of ingredients that are banned in the whole world and are legal in the United States?
	Okay.
	So I guess you're going to somewhere that has the greatest food in the world with all kinds of quality constraints.
	Like, I don't know where that is.
	Maybe Sweden?
	Norway?
	Finland?
	I don't know.
	Who's the strictest about food?
	Oh, that's why she's done?
	Okay, so then I look up, where's she going?
	She's going to Thailand.
	Now, I've told this story many times.
	My father-in-law's a genius and my dad's a genius.
	And I was visiting my father-in-law many, many years ago when I first met my wife.
	And, you know, it's kind of weird talking to nerds.
	And then I just realized, why don't I just treat him as Google?
	In a non-insulting way.
	I was just like, what's the history of chairs?
	Who made the first chair?
	And he goes, well, chairs are almost impossible to date, but the most popular chair was in the 12th century with blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	And you could just ask him stuff.
	He knows everything in the world.
	What were the Slovaks?
	You're Slovakian.
	The word slave comes from Slovaks, right?
	What's their history like?
	Well, the Ottoman Empire, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	Fun!
	So I get back I go my dad's smart and he's always yelling and stuff I'm gonna I'm gonna start asking him questions about the world so we go to a Thai restaurant and I'm looking around I know nothing about Thailand besides obviously the sex crimes and the child prostitution and they're all wearing their nice little uniforms dressed all Thai And I, as they're serving us, you know, I quietly said to my dad, so Thailand, like, what's their history?
	Are they a monarchy?
	Were they ever colonized?
	Uh, what's their, what's their story, dad?
	And he goes, well, let's see.
	If you can fuck a child for the price of a pint, it's probably not a good place to be.
	Yelling that in the fucking restaurant.
	So yeah, go to 17.
	This is where she's bringing her children because America isn't a good place for kids.
	Dude, there's an entire gay underage child section there.
	I think it's called Boy Town.
	And it's like a block of just boys after boys that you go, gays go and just fuck little boys.
	Yes.
	You probably know about it, right?
	Huh?
	Is that where you were made?
	Did you come out of a gay's ass?
	No.
	Theory something.
	It sounds like I hit the nail on the head there.
	Struck a nerve?
	A little too close to home?
	Rittery no.
	So whatever.
	Sounds rittery true.
	Rot is rot.
	So, what's the truth here, lady?
	The truth is, your husband's a fucking loser, he lost his job again, you guys are broke, so you're going to a place that is 100 degrees with 1 billion percent humidity, and you're gonna go there, he's probably gonna teach English, and you guys can live off your savings for a while, because rent is $5 a month, right?
	And here's some of the stats on the gun violence you were talking about.
	Why don't you just say five of the reasons we're leaving America.
	Four.
	Blacks.
	One.
	My husband's a loser.
	This is something I used to approve of and I've changed my mind.
	Surrogate mothers and gay parents.
	The Dave Rubin deal.
	Not healthy.
	Gross.
	You made an orphan from scratch.
	This is Ollie London, that weirdo who thought he was Korean for a while.
	Wait, go read the caption up above.
	It's funny how these people on our side just come out of nowhere.
	This guy was the laughingstock for operating on his face to become a K-pop star.
	And then he got mad at everyone for letting him do it.
	And now we're like, we'll take any tranny, homo, mentally ill person because it makes us look cool.
	But he's got a good point.
	Mother cared her baby for nine months.
	Moments after giving birth, gave her child away for adoption.
	The mother had previously arranged six months into her pregnancy to give her child to the two dads.
	Yeah, I said that to someone once, because I know a lot of people who adopt.
	They could never get a white baby.
	And I said, uh, I said, why do gays always get white babies and celebrities?
	Do they pay for it?
	That can't be legal.
	And they said, no, the mothers choose celebrities and gays over everyone else.
	Wow.
	Oh, that's why there's no white babies.
	Aw, that's exciting.
	Are you ready to meet your parents?
	All right.
	Are you?
	Please don't be gay.
	Please don't be gay.
	Fuck.
	This first word is fags.
	Look, they're holding each other's hands.
	They don't want it.
	It's an it's a Lamborghini to them.
	Okay, grab it.
	This is dark.
	This is weird.
	This is the darkest thing.
	This is like a sacrifice.
	Look.
	It's like you sacrifice your baby to the gay gods and the gay gods are going, uh... I didn't want this.
	Hi.
	Look at the way the other one's peering over his shoulder, too.
	He doesn't want to touch her.
	Or it.
	That's a lot of hair for a newborn, isn't it?
	Yeah.
	Is it wearing a wig?
	Look.
	And they're doing it for the gram, right, by the way.
	Uplift?
	Where, to hell?
	I thought hell was below us.
	That just seems sick and wrong.
	Uplift that baby out of their arms and please take it back.
	And how dark when the mother's finally ah and then they put it on her chest for contact because the babies need contact immediately and then they're like all right thank you.
	Okay there.
	Imagine how fucking weird she feels.
	Remember I told you I fought a woman?
	She wants to go see them and they're like, sir can you get, ma'am can you get away from our baby please?
	That's crazy.
	I was sparring and they put a woman in the ring and I hit her four times in the face and for two days I was just like, I felt unusual.
	That woman's gonna feel unusual for years.
	Imagine on her way out, she's all like holding her cunt, and she's got the walker, and then she looks and she sees the baby, her baby crying, and they're both making a video of themselves, they don't even notice.
	Hey, what?
	We have a new baby!
	Yeah.
	And she's like, and it looks at her and it goes, Mama, why?
	Damn.
	Somebody's got to stop this.
	This is interesting.
	A couple is suing Massachusetts because during the trial process as they were being investigated, they go, do you believe in trans?
	What if we have a trans baby to give you?
	A trans baby.
	That's as funny as my grandfather was a porn star.
	Uh, well, we don't believe in that.
	We think there's two genders.
	We're Catholic, so that's kind of the way it goes in the Bible.
	But, you know, normal stuff?
	Yeah, we can't have you adopting.
	Because if the baby grows up to be trans, and you don't recognize that, well, that would be child abuse.
	No, the opposite is true, actually.
	So, well, no, we disagree.
	But, uh, the big picture is that you cannot be foster parents.
	Like foster parent isn't the bravest and heaviest thing you could possibly do.
	You temporarily adopt children, fall in love with them, and then say bye when someone's finally ready for them or the mother wants them back.
	I could not handle shit like that.
	I get mad when a Met is traded to another team.
	I've taken this Met into my heart and he stabs me in the back.
	I can't believe she married a thumb.
	Devout Catholics, Michael and Catherine Burke, are suing the Massachusetts Department of... Oh, and there's the Commissioner!
	There is the Commissioner.
	Diversity, Inclusion, and Equity.
	D-I-E.
	Which brings us to LGBT.
	Ah, yes.
	We're really plowing through stuff here today, folks.
	This will be very gay.
	Why are you gay?
	I felt ugly.
	I felt gay.
	And then we fell in love.
	And then they eat the poop poop and we have a very good relationship.
	I don't like the butt chick.
	You don't want to see a close-up picture of my anus.
	You ain't gay, man.
	You are gay.
	Hold the fall, alert.
	By the way, you can get this diversity, inclusion, and equity shirt on Sensor.TV shop.
	My favorite shirt we've ever made.
	It really is awesome.
	Like I almost wore it the other day and I was like, no, I want to save it for like when I go out.
	Go out.
	When I go to the club.
	Yeah.
	I gotta admit so these drag queen people I don't know why they only read to kids and not old folks or anything but anyway they read to kids to I guess to help trans kids feel good trans babies but they Muslims are very angry about this and they don't like it so these brave revolutionary leftists went to a mosque And they told the Muslims that hate has no home here.
	And I thought, well, that's brave.
	Like they always have the same big toe hugging sandals.
	Putters make great storytellers.
	I didn't know John Turturro was a gender.
	Look, he's wearing a Slayer shirt.
	I love Slayer, but I hate 8.
	Look, we got furries there.
	I think, whatever the fuck that is.
	Oh, wait a minute.
	Sorry, that's not a mosque.
	It's a Christian church.
	Because Christians are the only ones who let them get away with this fucking bullshit.
	What is that person with the mask?
	Stop, stop, stop!
	Yeah, they're furries, right?
	That one has ears, so that's a semi-furry.
	What's that?
	Those are ears.
	Yeah.
	That's like an antifurry.
	An antifurry anime.
	Sort of.
	Because they have the tactical drop crotch ninja pants.
	Oh my God.
	They fancy themselves a different race.
	Hey guys, we don't want strippers reading to our kids.
	We don't want sexual beings reading to our kids.
	You have a normal gay that wants to read a story.
	By all means, let's go bananas.
	And we really enjoyed your protest and we're looking forward to seeing you at the next mosque.
	Where you can talk to people who genuinely fucking hate homos.
	Speaking of homos, this was a disturbing bill passed.
	California legislator passes bill reducing penalties for oral anal sex with willing children.
	I just want to be clear here, there is no such thing as sex with willing children.
	I thought we were all on the same page, by the way, with this.
	But no, apparently not.
	Apparently, if you have willing oral sex with a child... And I was giving the homo community the benefit of the doubt with all this anti-sound-of-freedom thing.
	Remember that Rolling Stone reporter who writes about it every second day?
	But it's not looking good for you guys.
	And normal gays, you may want to check in with your brand manager.
	Because there's a lot of your people who are saying it's totally awesome to fuck kids.
	And if you make a movie that's anti-child sex trafficking, well, that movie needs to be banned.
	And it's QAnon.
	Because one of the actors liked a QAnon tweet.
	Therefore, don't pay any attention to child sex trafficking.
	Weirdest, this is the weirdest time for gays in the history of gays.
	If I catch any of you fuckers alone, I'm going to fucking kill you.
	When were gays born?
	Invented, yeah, who invented the gays?
	1960s, I guess?
	Yeah.
	So you've been around for like 60 years, 70 years, and this is the weirdest it's ever been for you.
	And not just evil, like with this grooming kid stuff, but my new obsession, which is, and it's especially British, cops kissing gay ass.
	Gays don't like you, first of all.
	But why do you give a fuck?
	Blacks are heavily represented in crime stats, so I'd understand you kissing black ass or constantly, like, listening to rap and making your car have a black fist or something like that.
	I don't like that.
	But I get it.
	But this kissing gay ass dressing up in rainbows?
	What's happening there?
	I honestly don't understand it.
	Well, you saw this, right?
	All I see is me.
	Man arrested after gay choir member hurt in homophobic attack.
	And there's also... Man arrested for homophobic chanting.
	And then there's also this autistic teen they pulled out of her house because the police brought her house for something unrelated, I think.
	And then she said that one of the... She's like, oh, it's the officer that looks like a lesbian or something to that effect.
	And like Nana, because her grandmother's a lesbian.
	And that comment alone, they pulled her out of her house and cuffed her and... She's a lesbian like my Nana.
	It's not a homophobic remark.
	Yeah.
	It's identifying someone.
	And if it's so awesome to be a lesbian, then you should be happy.
	That's a compliment, apparently.
	Yeah, and she's autistic and then also has scoliosis and they were like, the way that they were folding her arm to try to cuff her was like very painful and it was a very disturbing video to watch.
	Britain.
	We're not far away.
	Don't roll your eyes at Britain.
	We're right there.
	We're right around the corner.
	You're going to be seeing shit like that very soon.
	People having someone come to their house because of a tweet.
	Did you see that black kid?
	I think his name's Shay.
	He's from Philly, but he was in Brooklyn and he was being queer and a bunch of Muslim teens stabbed him to death.
	And I saw in the Daily Mail they were talking about the dad was there and he was looking up to the sky.
	That's where his son is in heaven now.
	Zero mention that he was killed by Muslims.
	But whenever it's a black and a white thing, they go, a white police officer recently shot a black teen who was... So if it's white on black, they cannot wait to mention the race.
	If it's any other scenario, even a black cop shooting a white kid, it's just a police officer shot a teen.
	And with this story, it's just Shay's dead.
	He was killed.
	Okay?
	Drop it.
	Not Muslims murdered a homo.
	Did you see this yet?
	No?
	It's a little lengthy, but she just gives it to these muzzies.
	And this, like, definitely not a good priest priest.
	- A religiously motivated act of genocide that is targeted against our people to cause our people's harm.
	In the genocide convention, it specifically states, B means causing physical and mental harm to members of a specific group.
	So you're not gonna argue with me that gang raping children is not gonna cause them serious physical and mental harm.
	And the difference is- - He's smiling. - There's been a million white children, one million white kids in the last few decades been raped by Muslim Pakistani men.
	It is targeted.
	How do you argue with that?
	If it was any other country and any other peoples, they'd be burning down the homes and trimming you out the country.
	But because white people are so tolerant, so far all we've done is demos.
	Imagine it was conservatives and they were raping Pakistani children.
	Can you imagine how fast that problem would be solved?
	And we don't involve ourselves in gratuitous violence.
	Choose love.
	I don't know if it'll ever die.
	But see if you can find that black kid who was killed by Muslims in Brooklyn.
	But you wait until that tolerance is gone when the Anglo-Saxon no longer I don't know man a million kids raped and you're still tall and I don't know if it'll ever die but see if you can find that black kid who was killed by Muslims in Brooklyn I think it was dancing gay and they were those kind of like Syrian Muslims who look white I mean, they are white.
	And they stabbed him to death and the media just went, I'm not reporting on this because it could lead to racial or religious violence against Muslims.
	Teenager?
	Yes.
	He faces a charge of second degree murder.
	I wonder if they'll mention that he's Muslim.
	No, they definitely will not.
	The men yelled homophobic slurs.
	Move that over to this way.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	Eric Adams and his friends.
	No.
	Keep going.
	We can see the video.
	Oh, there was video.
	Verbal dispute.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Keep going.
	blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	Xenophobic blues.
	It was a teen.
	Look at that.
	No mention.
	Now, blacks are living by the sword, dying by the sword of the teen blanket.
	And this is such a great victim for you, lefties.
	He's black and he's gay.
	Why not mention the other guy?
	Yeah.
	It's so crazy how they protect perpetrators.
	I mean, even if they do mention it now, we're fifty-fuck, some-y?
	Ula, 30-year-old gas station attendant.
	No.
	Who witnessed it?
	He's the good guy.
	There's a good guy.
	At the news conference flanked by leaders from the city's gay and Muslim communities, Mr. Adams emphasized that killing was not evidence of hatred directed at LGBT by Muslims in New York.
	So the only time we hear Muslims is to know that it's not evidence of Muslims hating gays.
	Well, he said one of the men who approached Sibley and his friends said, I'm Muslim, I don't want this here.
	Isn't that some evidence, Eric?
	But that's a quote from Samia Ullah.
	He's allowed to say it.
	The brown guy said it.
	It's fine.
	Yeah, look, there's no evidence.
	There is evidence.
	Look at one paragraph above your head.
	I don't know if you looked here in your article.
	It's your neighbor.
	The evidence is your fucking New York Times neighbor.
	And his proof is... It's funny.
	Eric Adams is Tom Hanks in the movie Big.
	He's a child in an adult's body.
	What is the evidence that this wasn't Muslim homophobia?
	Well, because both communities have been victims of hate.
	So?
	And the two communities stand united against fighting any form of hate.
	That's just false.
	What does Lee Soulja Simmons say?
	Fuck off.
	What a mess.
	All right.
	And finally, This trans-indigenous person...
	regrets cutting his dick off, and he wants to die.
	So he's suing Canada for the right to die.
	You know how big Canada is on death?
	Well, they're big on white death.
	They don't really want indigenous people to kill themselves.
	So if you're trans and indigenous, and you're already a victim of bullshit leftism where they convince you to cut your dick off, they go, no, we're not killing you.
	So you're saying white people have more opportunities in Canada than indigenous people?
	That's true.
	When it comes to medically assisted deaths, There is nothing but white privilege.
	Go down a bit.
	This person, who's I guess male, is so my type it's embarrassing.
	I'm into Indians.
	This guy is your type?
	Yes.
	Oh yeah.
	If I was to go gay, it would be this person right before he dies.
	And then that's good because he won't be able to tell anyone.
	Right.
	I'll help you get made, but I gotta get laid.
	Get the Gavin initiative L-A-I-D.
	Ew.
	With the small i. My name is Lois and I am a sterilized First Nations person of Treaty 6 living on reserve in Alberta and I am also a post-op transsexual of 14 years.
	June is more than Pride Month.
	It is also National Indigenous History Month.
	We must have our stories told, our culture shared.
	We must seek truth and reconciliation.
	And we must have honest conversations about the dark side of transition.
	Listen to this.
	This poor bastard.
	You know what this is like?
	She's just, he's just been thrown into the wood chipper of radical leftism.
	And he's barfing out all their colloquialisms like a fucking broken robot and now he wants to die.
	This is where following leftism leads you to the grave.
	Go back and you should have stopped it while I was blabbing.
	And my story, from a regretful transition to medical assistance and dying, I feel like I have contributed to the genocide of my people.
	I am more than a statistic.
	I am more than... Stop!
	Listen to all of these cliches.
	I am more than a statistic.
	That is not okay.
	I am contributing to the genocide of my peoples.
	Indigenous Peoples Treaty 6.
	I am living on the reservation.
	White hegemony in the patriarchy.
	I need assisted suicide.
	A mess.
	You know what we would have done to you on the right?
	We would have said, there's an Indian.
	It's gay.
	Okay.
	Go gay your shit up over there, but you gotta work on Monday.
	And you'd be fine.
	You'd say, no weird colloquialisms.
	We wouldn't pay any attention to you.
	You live in the gay part of town.
	We have like little Israels everywhere for gays.
	Here in New York, it's the West Village.
	Then they kept colonizing.
	They took some of the East Village.
	Now they own Hell's Kitchen and all of Chelsea.
	All right.
	Go nuts, homos.
	It's the left that goes, no, no, no.
	We want to use you and milk you and squeeze your juice and program you and fill you with fucking hormones and then cut your dick off.
	They're monsters, man.
	They're like something out of a Pink Floyd video.
	They're an evil cartoon in a Pink Floyd video.
	And this is what you get.
	Go ahead.
	Skin.
	I am more than your idea of what a BIPOC trans person should be.
	By the way, you're exactly what my idea of a BIPOC trans person is.
	Someone who deeply regrets their transition and wants to die.
	You have, what, a 65% suicide rate?
	Yeah.
	So you're exactly what I expected.
	Indian.
	But until then, I am here to share my story.
	Hi-hi.
	Bye-bye.
	Yeah, it's bye-bye.
	All right, let's jump to My Pet Biden, the world's greatest president.
	In the world.
	My pet Biden.
	On him I can depend.
	My pet Biden.
	A monster of a president.
	He's big and blue and sleepy, but a friendly monster too.
	My pet Biden.
	Wait, that doesn't rhyme.
	That was a live-action movie too, wasn't it?
	My Pet Monster?
	I remember Little Monsters.
	It was a Saturday morning cartoon, but I think they also made a little animatronic guy, and he was in a terrible movie that flopped.
	My son's working with Maddie now.
	Oh, what?
	On the pizza trucks, yeah.
	What's the power?
	Very Canadian vibes.
	This smells of government grants.
	Oh, it is Canadian.
	Calm down.
	Mr. Blatter will notice we're missing.
	This smells of government grants.
	You're right.
	Come on.
	Not this one.
	I can read the imprint.
	See?
	It says coquette de bois, poodle.
	Oh, it is Canadian.
	Carl and Stu are going to enter tippy into the dog show under a different name.
	I'm a fucking monster fuck.
	Come on.
	Hey, Canadians, can you get some lighting fuck?
	I can't see anyone.
	Alright, this is where we discuss the worst world leader ever in American history.
	No, ever in history.
	And before we do that, I thought we would indulge ourselves with what we've lost.
	You don't know what you got till it's gone.
	I like to spend some time in the My Pet Biden segment looking at the greatest president.
	I want him back.
	Fuck politics.
	I want him back for the laughs.
	I like laughs.
	I'm a member of the funny community and we want a funny guy, not a sad ice cream guy.
	I want a happy guy.
	Listen to this discussion on, is it paper straws?
	Just the edit?
	Yeah.
	Here we go.
	They want to ban straws.
	Has anybody ever tried those paper straws?
	They're not working too good.
	Right?
	Has anybody ever tried?
	Seriously, the new straw is made out of paper, right?
	It disintegrates as you drink it.
	If you have a nice tie like this tie, this would have no chance.
	By the time you get finished, the straw is totally disintegrated.
	Does anybody walk around with a plastic straw?
	Because it's not bad.
	You know, you whip it out, boom, boom.
	You never had to do that.
	Boom, boom.
	I said, oh, really?
	What about the cart?
	What about the plate?
	What about the knives and the spoons and the plastic?
	Oh, they're okay.
	But the straws, we got a band.
	Now, you know why that is?
	Because a fucking viral video went around that showed a straw being pulled out of a turtle's nose.
	Which, by the way, that's Costa Rica dumping their shit in the water.
	That's China.
	That's Africa.
	We don't do that.
	We have landfills.
	So we are punished for the sins of the Tico's.
	That's a good name for today's episode.
	Thins of the Tico.
	But here's another fun fact.
	That musician who did the Seinfeld music, when they first showed the network, the first couple episodes, they go, it's great, but that fucking music is gay and weird and gross.
	I hate it.
	And they demanded it stay.
	And now it's iconic.
	Here's an interesting video no one's ever seen of Donnie saying, don't riot.
	So Don is, they're trying to prevent him from being president again because he incited a riot and tried to overthrow his own government.
	No one understands the logic of that.
	You're trying to take over the government with no guns and no plan?
	I don't know if you've done a lot of coups, but taking out the most powerful nation in world history takes a lot of guns, a lot of military, a lot of planning, and a lot of blood.
	I mean, if you really were to take over America, say China and Russia got together to take over America.
	How many are dead?
	100 million total?
	And all three countries are completely wiped out?
	That's a plausible scenario.
	More plausible than the fucking J6 committee.
	But anyway, their point was that Don egged them on and made them do it.
	And this video was put on Twitter and immediately taken down.
	So, it is my belief that the DNC... What are you doing?
	I'm showing.
	This is Twitter.
	Oh.
	The DNC orchestrated J6.
	They opened the doors.
	They pushed everyone to riot.
	And again, as Joe Biggs' lawyer says, that's no excuse.
	You know, you still have to have some culpability.
	But the DNC worked very hard to foment this riot and blame it on Trump.
	So when Trump said, don't riot, they had to delete it.
	So they called Twitter and said, take this down.
	And Twitter obliged.
	I know you're pained.
	I know you're hurt.
	We had an election that was stolen from us.
	It was a landslide election, and everyone knows it.
	Especially the other side.
	But you have to go home now.
	We have to have peace.
	We have to have law and order.
	We have to respect our great people in law and order.
	We don't want anybody hurt.
	It's a very tough period of time.
	There's never been a time like this where such a thing happened, where they could take it away from all of us.
	From me, from you, from our country.
	This was a fraudulent election.
	But we can't play into the hands of these people.
	We have to have peace.
	So go home.
	We love you.
	You're very special.
	You've seen what happens.
	You see the way others are treated that are so bad and so evil.
	I know how you feel.
	But go home and go home in peace.
	You don't say.
	And where do we get that from?
	Britain's News.
	We've still got a lot to cover, folks.
	We're already out of time, but I'm just going to plow through this because I want people who don't subscribe to this network to see the kind of stuff we do on this network.
	And I never even get close to including every single type of segment we do.
	How about Don calling Chris Christie a fat pig?
	And the others are at like 12.
	Correction, he does not.
	One is at 12.
	I think that's the sanctimonious, but he's rapidly being caught by Rameshwami.
	Who's good?
	No, Chris, he's eating right now.
	Now he can't be a violent.
	Sir, please do not call him a fat pig.
	That's very disrespectful.
	Don't call him.
	See, I'm trying to be nice.
	Don't call him a fat pig.
	You can't do it.
	This is why they hate him so much because he's a happy warrior.
	They want him to suffer.
	He just refuses.
	He's been through hell already.
	This is an old school example of Trump being awesome.
	Sex is, like, not a big deal.
	I think that's where this comes from.
	Yeah.
	Never heard of classy sex in the workplace, that's all.
	Alright, I wanna just go to Marcus.
	I want you to tell me what's going on with this team.
	Why'd you lose, Marcus?
	Um... Where do I begin?
	Are you gay?
	Um... Who do you think caused your loss, Marcus?
	I think primarily, you know, the situation they brought up with Clay.
	What do you think of Clay's performance?
	I thought Clay, he exposed homosexuality as an issue that, to me, it was a bit much for the crowd.
	You brought out homosexuality?
	He kept talking about slapping the ass.
	Are you a homosexual, Clay?
	I am.
	Yes, Mr. Trump, I am.
	I know.
	Is that true?
	Yes, it is.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Marcus, did you know that Clay was gay?
	Yes, I did.
	Did everybody know this?
	Yes.
	Because I didn't know it.
	So you don't find Olive very attractive then?
	No.
	And you don't find Felicia very attractive?
	They're beautiful women, but they're not my thing.
	Alright.
	That's why they have menus in restaurants, you know?
	I like steak, somebody else likes spaghetti.
	That's why they have menus in restaurants.
	It's a great world.
	Sex is like, not a big deal.
	How could you not love this man?
	That's like a grandpa.
	And then let's let's compare that to we have now latest story in the cocaine they found in the White House was that it comes from within the Biden circle.
	But imagine he kept going with that.
	He's like, you know, some people like like a pizza pie or something.
	Some people like, you know, a hot dog with like two olives on each side.
	Little bit of sprinkle like a hair.
	Are you here legally?
	Because I think I have a good motive to send you back.
	Like a little Katamari in the back?
	With a poo come out?
	Um... The cocaine came from... The calls are coming from inside the house.
	The coke is from inside the White House.
	By the way, on Monday we're gonna do a whole thing on Kamala's electric buses.
	And what a stupid idea that was, and how many hundreds of millions were sunk... Sorry, eight billion was sunk with those dumb school buses where they could get the kids to school in the morning, but then they were out of juice.
	So the schools had to buy a morning set and a going home set.
	And even then, the company went bankrupt.
	Go ahead.
	Alert!
	Fox News alert!
	A major update in the White House cocaine scandal.
	According to a report cited by the New York Post, a source close to the White House says Joe Biden knows exactly who left the bag of cocaine in the White House.
	And it's someone in the Biden family orbit.
	But this source says it wasn't Hunters.
	Now, we haven't verified the report, but if this is true, it adds another layer to the cover-up.
	That's all you have to say, by the way, Rolo Tomasi, that you haven't verified this.
	By the way, I'll end with this.
	Remember we were making fun of him for talking to the President of Israel, Herzog, whatever, and he had cue cards?
	I meant to translate that on the show, but I did not get around to it.
	So, I'm going to do it now.
	Ryan, play the clip we played last week, and I will show you that I speak fluent Biden.
	At a political level.
	And, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, Wait, go back.
	And a lot of hard work.
	We've got a lot more to do, but there's progress.
	Last year we convened the largest gathering of Arabs and Israelis in a decade.
	And we resolved the maritime boundary dispute between Israel and Lebanon.
	Lebanon, I heard.
	We opened up an airspace for Israel over Saudi Arabia after a little visit there.
	And we brought Israelis and Palestinians together on a political level.
	and uh and uh at the uh and aqua and uh as i uh affirmed the prime minister yesterday america's commitment is really is fun and And it is fine.
	All right.
	Sorry.
	We're going to take some time at the end of this show.
	I'm going to go behind the paywall and I'm not coming out until I've solved the mystery of just those whatever two paragraphs.
	And I will solve it for you.
	But we we have still have way too much to get through for me to spend another because that's going to take a long ass time.
	So, I'm sorry about that, folks.
	The people who watch this show for free will never know what the fuck he just said.
	And the people who pay, I 100% guarantee you will leave this show, by hook or by crook, knowing exactly what he said.
	Let's jump into the competence crisis, Ryan.
	I mean, sorry, whatever your name is, Chinky Man?
	Uh, it's Chinky.
	Okay.
	You seem Japanese, though.
	No, no, no, that's something really crazy.
	Yeah, Japanese people say something.
	Yeah, but I say different.
	They say like something and I say like something.
	So slower?
	A little bit.
	it.
	It's a competency crisis.
	It's a crisis of incompetence.
	This country has fallen apart.
	Literally.
	I don't know if you did that on purpose, but it's competence crisis, not a competency crisis.
	Of course it was intentional.
	So, we've got some affirmative action, we've got a female riding a helicopter, and another plane out there, and they're putting out fires!
	Cause girls can do anything!
	And then we also have air traffic controllers and people on the ground who are also girls and people of color, and we're finally getting these white men out.
	What happens?
	Oh, a helicopter crashes into a plane because the helicopter was looking at the fire and not the planes that were putting out the fire.
	The aviation expert, it was likely that the Bell chopper was not in the proper position, he said.
	I'm guessing that the pilot of the Slonsky Sky Crane was focused on the fire to make the run-in.
	He or she Yeah, it's a she.
	We've looked into this.
	Was not looking for any other aircraft in the area because that's normally a highly coordinated thing.
	Again, the coordinators were also affirmative action.
	He said you wouldn't expect the Slonsky to be looking around to see if there's another airplane on that very critical path.
	He did not think the pilots were to blame.
	No, of course not.
	Here's some more affirmative action kills.
	Two planes.
	And I focus on aviation when I do the Competence Crisis, but I have like 70 other examples in other industries.
	When we get to racism, we're going to talk about incompetence in medicine.
	But aviation is a fun one because when anyone ever talks about society collapsing, they talk about planes falling out of the sky.
	And they are.
	Falling out of the sky.
	I've had some people say to me like, when do you think it's gonna go get so bad we see planes fall out of the sky like an idiocracy?
	Okay, how about this?
	A WestJet plane clips military aircraft on the ramp.
	Emergency crews attended a Canadian forces base in Comix BC on Wednesday after a WestJet plane clipped a military one on the ramp.
	No one was injured in what WestJet described as a quote-unquote minor incident Oh, okay.
	in which W5346 bound for Edmonton made contact with a parked aircraft at 19 wing comics while taxiing out for departure.
	All guests and crew have been safely offloaded from the aircraft.
	There have been no reported injuries as well as a result of this incident.
	Oh, okay.
	Sounds good.
	They provided no cause for the incident, though Gavin McInnes over at Get Off My Lawn blames the competence crisis.
	And we were talking about selling playlists where we focus on one thing and we charge a buck or something?
	If I do my aviation collection of the competence crisis, it is going to be two hours.
	So maybe if you don't watch the show regularly, you just hear those two and they don't sound like a big deal.
	No, that's number 78 and 79.
	Similarly, I have as many examples of drag queens being perverts and being linked to child sex.
	So that'll be another playlist we can put together that will go on and on and on.
	Alright, I know that's only two, but we gotta jump to racism.
	I'm a black female.
	What other difference, what else could I have done to piss you off?
	A black woman?
	This is really inconvenient.
	Do you have beeping in there?
	Because it's a fire, a smoke detector that doesn't have the batteries changed?
	Yeah, I forgot to change the batteries on that bumper.
	Sorry.
	No, seriously, did you put smoke detectors in this?
	Yes, I did.
	I didn't notice.
	Has that always been there?
	Uh-oh.
	We got to do a 23andMe for you.
	No, that's not always been there.
	I put that there like two weeks ago.
	OK, what's that got to do with 23andMe?
	Because maybe you'll pop black Because you already told me about this?
	No, if you pop black, you can't hear it.
	Oh.
	They have something inside their brains.
	Oh, I get it now.
	Finally.
	So, we've had a problem with medicine for a while.
	Just like with aviation, it's too white male.
	T-O-O.
	And we want to have people of color in there.
	We want to have women running hospitals.
	Women care.
	They share.
	And, you know, if a black woman gets pregnant and she looks up and there's somebody who doesn't look like her, she doesn't feel safe.
	So I picture a world where the head of the hospitals is a woman.
	And she decides who does what and who works with whom.
	And then in that magical world, I imagine a black doctor helping black women give birth and having no idea what she's doing because she wasn't hired based on meritocracy and literally pulling baby's heads off.
	Mama had a baby in her head popped off.
	We used to play that as little kids with a dandelion and then flick it off.
	And here we are doing it for real with affirmative action.
	Family sues Georgia doctor after baby was decapitated during pregnancy.
	Family says the Georgia doctor used too much force and decapitated, you have to move that over this way a bit, decapitated a woman's baby after it became stuck during delivery.
	Can you imagine how hard you have to pull to pull a baby's head off?
	They're not made of cake.
	Jessica Ross is suing Dr. Tracy.
	Look this up somewhere else, Ryan.
	I have a better example.
	Yahoo News is so boring.
	It's that broad, yes.
	And it's funny because you look at the, this is Atlanta, and you look at the whole, everyone's suing everyone, and it just looks like affirmative action on top of affirmative action on top of affirmative action.
	Like, uh oh.
	Wait, how'd you get away with not paying?
	Um, I just clicked out.
	Lawsuit accused doctor of decapitating a baby.
	So there, that's the woman there being hit by text.
	She's upset.
	And then if we got the doctor, I want a doctor who looks like me.
	I don't.
	I want a doctor who's qualified.
	He probably does look like me.
	There she is.
	I hope your career's over, by the way.
	He's wearing a nightie?
	Babies are pretty resilient.
	It's not easy to pull their fucking heads off.
	No, and skin is very tough, too.
	Yeah.
	It's a very disturbing thing to imagine, but really, like, that's an insane amount of force you'd have to be doing.
	Nice work.
	This is funny.
	So this woman runs in Florida, and she's Soros-backed prosecutor.
	Now, this is a twisted view, but she says it's tyranny that she was fired because she was elected to do the job and to change the game.
	Well, we had a pie-in-the-sky version of progressivism when we hired you, elected you.
	And we hoped you might be nicer, but no, you were letting murderers, rapists and pedophiles go free.
	That's not what we signed up for.
	I'm speaking on behalf of liberals here.
	We wanted someone who might want to, you know, revamp the prison system or have people wait less time before they get a trial.
	Maybe you could expedite justice.
	We didn't want you to let people free just because they're black.
	And that's what she did.
	and she calls that tyranny.
	I think those are the victims of the rapists that are clapping there.
	One year, three years ago, I was elected by the people.
	One year.
	Oh, excuse me.
	Three.
	Whatever.
	A bunch of years ago.
	More than two days ago.
	To lead this circuit.
	And yes, to do things unconventionally, to do things differently.
	It is unconventional to excuse pedophilia.
	That is correct.
	I didn't say that I would do things and I didn't do them.
	I didn't say I wouldn't do things and not did them.
	I didn't see that part before.
	I didn't say I wouldn't do things and not did them.
	I didn't say I wouldn't do things and not did them.
	Wow.
	I did exactly what I said I would do and that is what you want from an elected official.
	Sort of, yeah, I guess.
	Elected officials are being taken out of office solely for political purposes, and that should never be a thing.
	Well, you were making it cool to rape kids, which is kind of the theme of this whole episode.
	There used to be a very high standard for the removal of elected officials.
	There used to be a standard that I would have had to been criminally prosecuted for something.
	Neglecting my duties meaning that I don't show up for work and do my job.
	Neglecting your duties meaning not putting bad guys in jail.
	You could show up and still not do your job.
	If you want any tips, I can help you out.
	My son, the other day, he goes, I don't like when people say the bad guys.
	It sounds so juvenile.
	He didn't say the word juvenile, because he is a juvenile.
	And I go, no, we say bad guys, because what we're doing is we're mocking people who have a juvenile view of the world.
	Like when we say, if you take away all the guns, only the bad guys will have guns.
	We're insulting you when we say that, because we're putting it in kiddie terms.
	Bad guys.
	So it's a fuck you.
	Or that I had some sort of an illness that prevented me from doing my job.
	Yeah, you do.
	Mental illness.
	But under this tyranny, elected officials can be removed simply for political purposes and by a whim of the governor, and no matter how you feel about me, you should not be okay with that.
	I'm not okay with child rape.
	And finally, we have this black teacher who is openly racist.
	And I don't think I have the update included, Ryan.
	You might get it from Libs of TikTok, but she has been fired.
	After bragging.
	So, woke up to my sister being the biggest disappointment I've ever seen.
	Look at the color of the arm wrapped around my sister.
	My poor sis is laid up with a pasty in my fucking house.
	Now she calls them cave dweller fuckers or something?
	I'm inconsolable.
	How many white classmates does she have?
	My sis letting all of Europe take turns on her.
	The disappointment I feel right now.
	Our parents raised us better than this.
	Where are they?
	The girl spent all of her dowry and now laid up with a white.
	Then she has some video, the guy in the black truck, yep.
	She says, come kill him for me, to her boyfriend.
	Here she is.
	So, y'all already know why I'm having a bad day?
	Because your tits suck?
	My sister's a cave dweller smasher.
	Stop.
	My tits start at the top of my chest, my clavicle, and then they end at the bottom of my clavicle.
	My tits have fallen off.
	She just said, my sister's a cave dweller smasher.
	That sounds awkward.
	You should say, my sister smashes cave dwellers.
	You know why I'm upset today?
	You could roll up my tits like a carpet at a flea market.
	In my house?
	On this land?
	I just want to let y'all know that I'm about to do everything in my power to fuck this relationship up.
	It's gonna be so fun.
	You can bite it.
	And so satisfying to watch.
	Okay, so I can't believe she's brought this cave dweller into my house does she introduce y'all and then Come and kill him for me Dre.
	I promise I'll help you hide the body bring all four of your guns obviously she's Exaggerating but still this woman teaches our children and she hates white people Can you imagine if the races were reversed?
	And I think she, I believe that she knows somebody with four guns.
	Oh, no, Dre has four guns.
	She's talking to Dre.
	But she doesn't, she doesn't literally want him to be murdered and she won't literally hide the body.
	Maybe.
	She's just tactless.
	Maybe.
	It's a teacher.
	So when white kids are putting up their hands in her class and the black kid puts up her hand, who is she going to go for first?
	Who's she going to help?
	How is she going to grade their tests?
	I can't read that.
	We have a negro-only house.
	There's some other tweets here.
	29 just fine.
	Queen pick me, logically.
	Very pro-black men, pro-black supremacists.
	Why wouldn't I hate white people?
	Why wouldn't I show y'all any love at all?
	Name a big historic moment where white people did anything for black people out of kindness to y'all hearts.
	Ended slavery?
	I would not give a damn if white people had... what if...
	I would not give a damn if a white person had what my bio says.
	Because we already know y'all evil people, so it's right on.
	Okay, keep going anyway.
	So this blows up thanks to Libs of TikTok.
	Can't wait to see first day of school.
	All my new students.
	I honestly hope, for their sake, they're all black.
	Got me a real one, okay.
	So that's proof that she's a teacher, right?
	Thank you for being homophobic like I am, you're my soulmate.
	So I hope all our students are straight, black kids.
	There she is, more proof she's a teacher, right?
	Make for a really fast graduation ceremony.
	In and out.
	So that's looped around now?
	It is.
	Now if you go down, I think it became an article on Libs of TikTok.
	This isn't very good.
	I saw the update in that Instagram thing.
	It said update.
	Libs.
	I'm on their newsletter, which I highly recommend.
	Here it is.
	Black supremacist teacher is fired.
	Let me forward your black ass that.
	I got this on the text in here.
	You can forward that.
	What's that now?
	Oh, that might be it.
	Yeah.
	No, that's not so good though.
	The one, the one I sent you was her bragging about how, listen, y'all, they try to cancel me.
	They think, look, my job, I already spoke to my school and they said, we cool.
	First day of school walking through.
	Oh yeah.
	First day of school walking through the halls while Twitter thinks they can take my job from me.
	Call me every name under the sun, but y'all will never be able to call me unemployed.
	Um, was eventually discovered and then she says, what does she say?
	She deleted her account and then she goes, um, she goes, yes, y'all have found my job.
	They told me to delete the post where my job is safe since I did not directly wish harm on all white people.
	Yes, you did.
	Uh, they laughed and told me to watch what I say and I'll be good to go.
	Being a great teacher pays off very well when they know your true self.
	Just talk to the school board.
	My job is safe.
	Cry in the corner.
	I told them it was a joke and they know I'm not racist.
	So have fun.
	Breaking.
	Texas elementary teacher who made a series of racist anti-white tweets, including wanting to kill someone for being white, has been fired and is not eligible for rehire.
	Says Mesquite ISD.
	This kid left a review on the school.
	One said, good, good.
	I like it here very much.
	Everything you need to learn.
	Nikolai says, this school sucks because I was bullied there and so was my brother because we were white.
	They had to turn black.
	We changed it.
	At approximately 4 p.m.
	yesterday, Mesquite ISD became aware of a series of alarming racist statements posted to the X from a Twitter account of a teacher at Thompson Elementary.
	Upon learning of the situation, our personnel staff began an immediate investigation.
	As of this morning, the employee is no longer part of the Mesquite ISD organization, is not eligible for rehire due to privacy restrictions, blah blah blah.
	And then finally, I thought this was interesting.
	I sometimes, this is a good scam, by the way, if you want some beautiful oil paintings in your house, you take a picture you like, steal it from the Internet.
	I have John and Yoko on a little paddle boat in upstate New York, send it to China for like 300 bucks.
	They'll make an oil painting that's like four by three feet wide, three feet high.
	And now you have, you know, a beautiful photorealist oil painting in your home for nothing.
	So Kehinde Wiley, Kehinde Wiley, he does this scam too.
	And if you look at his old paintings, they're pretty mediocre.
	And then one day, boom, they're amazing.
	And it's Kanye West as Napoleon and Jay-Z as fucking the King of England.
	So he takes these classical pieces and he has Chinese people photorealize them.
	And he's considered a great painter.
	He literally has a studio the size of this studio with just Chinese people working around the clock taking his photoshops.
	And this is his fantasy.
	White people being beheaded.
	And the pattern in the background is stolen too.
	He did Obama's portrait.
	Now you know what drives me nuts?
	Go back to Obama's portrait.
	His Photoshop is so lame.
	Look at the... Zoom in on Obama's face.
	Not too much there.
	Look at the plants on either side of his head.
	Like he's repeating the pattern in a really obvious way.
	It's not meant to be wallpaper.
	So you can't even do good Photoshop.
	You see how above his ears on both sides the plant is the same?
	And look, you can kind of see the line.
	If you follow his right arm, the line of his right arm, follow that up and you can kind of see where the Photoshop flowers split.
	You probably had a Chinese person fix that.
	So our White House portrait guy does portraits of white women being decapitated.
	Can you imagine if the races were reversed and Trump's portrait artist regularly depicted white woman dressed like Nancy Reagan, super conservative looking white woman, holding black woman's heads?
	I literally can't imagine it.
	It doesn't fit.
	All right, final subject before we get to the mailbag.
	Very short and sweet.
	Proud Boys in Saratoga.
	Stand back.
	Stand by.
	Proud Boys.
	Proud Boys.
	Somebody's got to do something about Antifa and the left.
	Antifa's an idea, not an organization.
	Oh, you got it.
	So they went to eight chapters of the Proud Boys.
	Albany, Troy, actually show the video maybe.
	I sent you all this in airdrop.
	There's two videos.
	Which one?
	A news article one?
	Let's do the news article one, sure.
	Look at how delicately they've... They're so delicate.
	Alleged to be the Proud Boys.
	The most interesting thing that's happened to upstate New York ever.
	Local demonstrations by a group of people believed to be the Proud Boys.
	News Channel 13 obtained new video today from the city of Saratoga Springs, and Tiffany Payton is here in the studio with a new look at this video.
	Look at these marches.
	Tiffany, what have you learned?
	Good evening, Mark and Sabrina.
	It's all in color.
	Suspected Proud Boys.
	In Saratoga Springs on Broadway, what you're seeing now is a demonstration by people wearing masks on their faces and the signature black and yellow of the Proud Boys, labeled by the Anti-Defamation League as a right-wing extremist group because of their views on race and gender.
	The group was also spotted in Boston.
	Stop!
	They were handing out flyers and one of the tenants included anti-racism.
	But yeah, let's go with that.
	Sorry, I bet the ADL doesn't even say that.
	I bet the ADL says they're far right extremists because their views on Muslims or something.
	Anyway, an immigration.
	A permit to do what?
	commissioner considers the rally to be a parade and is recommending the organizer be charged with a violation for not getting a permit for the rally.
	A permit to do what?
	They walked a block.
	Yeah, wait, hold on.
	And played the national anthem.
	Just look, just command F race.
	No, Command-F R-A-C.
	Disgraced.
	Disgraced, okay.
	Oh wait, what's that?
	No, Embrace.
	Embrace, okay.
	Disgraced.
	Okay, but do R-A-C, or look up racism now.
	Racism.
	Well, the Proud Boys often publicly denounce white supremacy.
	They say they're not, but they are deep down.
	So they're liars.
	Yeah, trust me, I'm right.
	What violence?
	The Proud Boys have zero body count and have been killed by Antifa.
	Yeah.
	Well, they haven't been killed.
	That dude, Joey Bishop, wasn't a Proud Boy, but there was a dude who was hit by that truck and hospitalized at the funeral for Joey Bishop.
	And Tiny got shot.
	Tiny got shot.
	He's in jail now for inciting violence with his foot.
	Former Proud Boy, whatever his face, got bottled, like you mentioned.
	Yep.
	Okay, anyway, go back to the news piece.
	Newscast on my four.
	We'll take a closer look into the video.
	Do you think they speed it up to make them look silly?
	Back to you.
	Tiffany Payton with the video obtained from the city of Syracuse.
	They didn't speed up to get all the action in there because they looped it.
	Information law and News Channel 13.
	Okay, now let's see the video that Proud Boys put out.
	It's pretty damning.
	Let's fucking go!
	More of that white supremacist rap.
	Hate group.
	Hate group.
	Biden sucks.
	I ain't never Wait, HVNY.
	That was Hudsonville in New York.
	Cool.
	Yeah, that's one of the eight.
	She's not happy.
	I want this merch.
	Wait, HVNY.
	That was Hudson Bell in New York.
	Yeah, that's one of the eight.
	She's not happy.
	We think that you suck.
	You're disgusting.
	Look, she's so mad that she did the white power symbol.
	You are disgusting and should be ashamed of yourselves!
	Now, on another episode, I said Saratoga's kind of right-wing, or at least it's MAGA a little bit.
	And the horse races are there, it's a beautiful town.
	I was wrong.
	That's the impression I got when I was there a couple weeks ago.
	And there was a lot of people supporting them, but it's been infiltrated by these fucking losers.
	fat, ugly chicks and guys with no standards.
	The Hudson guys, no, the Troy or the Albany guys, they wear top hats 'cause Uncle Sam is from Albany, I think.
	He's a real guy, Uncle Sam.
	Oh, there's someone filming.
	I thought they were giving the thumbs up.
	There we go.
	Here's footage of them squashing a young, an old woman.
	Squishing an old woman so hard they squoze, and she couldn't breathe.
	She was screaming, I can't breathe.
	They bear hugged her to death.
	The painful showing of teeth there can be confused as they smile.
	She was baring her teeth as a way of saying, get back!
	Okay, I think we should wrap this up shortly.
	Zach Reel did nothing wrong.
	I think that said Zeke Hyle actually.
	They were wearing a shirt that said Zeke Hyle did nothing wrong?
	They spelled it wrong too.
	Like six million Jews weren't killed by Zeke Hyle?
	I can't believe Saratoga survived this.
	And the other surrounding towns.
	We have Zach Rales and Joe Biggs, Enrique and others.
	Info at the end of the episode.
	You can write to them.
	Enrique, really?
	Yep.
	Okay.
	Whose idea was that?
	Well, Jay.
	Jay sent me all the info.
	Jay is a solid guy.
	Jay is friends with the guy that was shot.
	Okay.
	I think Enrique's been disavowed by the club.
	Wait, you gotta show the end.
	So these are all the different chapters that did it.
	That's Albany.
	The old line.
	The five points, that's on my computer.
	I don't know where that is.
	Syracuse, Rochester.
	Ocean County?
	That whole upstate New York thing is fucking blowing up.
	I like how people go, so after January 6th would you say Proud Boys are done?
	Yes, they're over.
	No.
	Only people can show their faces.
	And then they made that chick who was going like this.
	They made her into a meme within the community of the Proud Boys.
	Oh, we're running out of time here, Ryan.
	We're going to have to be quick on the letters.
	So I have all the pictures and here they are.
	All right.
	Sage, you should be ashamed of yourselves.
	That's awesome.
	Proud boy.
	There she is screaming.
	There she is getting stomped.
	I support our local Proud Boys, that's a good one.
	You're disgusting and should be ashamed of yourself.
	Yourselves, lady, yourselves.
	All right, big long episode, but I really wanted to get in all our different categories.
	Because lots of shows just say, here's 50 things that are on my mind.
	We organize them so you can draw general conclusions.
	Without getting example exhaustion.
	It's not just random stories barfed out onto the screen.
	It's concepts.
	Do you, Chinky, do you have anything to say about that before we hit the mailbag?
	Yeah, well, the form of the concept itself, when you show different segments of the show... Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	So this is regarding yesterday's discussion about two attractive ladies, Liz Wheeler and her big four-headed friend.
	We went back and forth quite a bit on who is more attractive.
	Someone is sent writing in going, I understand Anthony's choice and why he made that choice.
	He chose Liz Wheeler.
	But the girl on the left will let you do whatever you want, right?
	There's something about a pretty girl that you feel a sense of, she's too good for me to come on her face.
	With a six or a seven, your standards aren't as high.
	And you might even be able to do some of the most extreme things to her.
	Does that make sense?
	That's why I always tell guys, when they've broken up and they're suffering, fuck five fives.
	And you'll get back on track.
	Next, wild in the streets of London.
	And we have something here on X that says, this is the youth of London, a trend on TikTok convinced them all to go to Oxford Street and rob a store.
	And not one or two, but hundreds and hundreds of youths.
	I think this might be old, right?
	No, you're thinking of a different one.
	Dang.
	Yeah, it's a thing now.
	By the way, we call them in New York, we call them rat kangs.
	And I heard someone say that's a cringe name.
	I don't think you understand what a rat king is.
	So we call them rats because New York City just accepted that these things are here and they're always going to be part of New York City.
	In fact, It's that and the pigeon are kind of iconic images when you think of New York.
	So there are rats in that sense.
	And then the Kangs was added because a rat king is when There's so many rats that all their tails stick together and they become this undulating mess of writhing rats.
	That's a rat king.
	So if you don't like the name Rat Kangs, you probably don't know what a rat king is.
	Right?
	Damn, I gotta go way down to find purple flags, yo.
	Purple flags?
	Like way the hell down, dog.
	Purple flags.
	Still going?
	Okay, I'm finally... Native Americans in war?
	No, that one's too long.
	God doing bad things.
	So we talked about Stephen Fry and how arrogant he is to say that if I die, I'm gonna tell God that he's an asshole for having bugs that can eat kids' eyes.
	It is so often the Achilles heel of religion, and so we're talking about the problem with bad.
	Like atheists always say, if there's a God, why are kids sick?
	Here's his take.
	We need context in our world.
	If there was no pain, there would be no pleasure.
	And if pain and pleasure did not exist, then there would be nothing we might call life.
	We would be without consciousness.
	Yeah, that's kind of what I was saying though, bro.
	I was saying, what do you want to do?
	Be Superman?
	Like you can just fly and nothing can hurt you and you can't get cancer?
	Okay, well now you're an angel, now you're in heaven, now you're not alive.
	Being alive has to have some sort of risk.
	When we hear of a child with a horrible illness, we are reminded of the frailty of life and that we should not take it for granted.
	This provides the opportunity to reflect on our own lives and those close to us.
	If a mudslide takes out a small village in Haiti, well, bad example, no one cares about Haiti, but say a plane crash, when we know people like us were on board, we feel empathy and reevaluate our relationships for a short time and hopefully grow a little as individuals.
	And also, with the mudslides and everything, there's areas that are bad to live in.
	You don't hear about mudslides in New York.
	So when you hear about victims of a mudslide, it's like, yeah, you're in a mudslide-y area.
	What's your, this is what I always say to them, what's your scenario?
	There's no mudslides anywhere?
	Is 100% of the world a great place to live?
	Can me and my family move to the Sahara Desert and thrive?
	This is the gift of life, the dynamic of a meaningful existence.
	I think that works as the best possible reply to arrogant atheists.
	Okay, and last one.
	We'll go to the top here.
	Island boys suck cock.
	Did you see that the island boys suck each other's cocks?
	Well, I saw them make out for their OnlyFans, and I assumed one of them was definitely gay, or I heard one of them was gay, but do they actually have sexual intercourse?
	If so, that would be a perfect example of rock bottom as far as Western culture goes.
	We have incestuous twins with corndogs for hair, severe facial tattoos, fellating each other.
	I mean, that makes Sodom and Gomorrah look like Christmas Day at my house.
	Alright, that's enough letters.
	We're out of time here.
	Apparently they were simulating.
	Oh, it's only simulating!
	Oral sex on each other.
	Maybe we could simulate a guillotine execution.
	It didn't make it to Instagram?
	That's unfortunate.
	And then go oopsie.
	Oh, damn.
	I wish I could see the island boys blow each other.
	The island blow!
	Alright, so.
	Well, let's get to the final video.
	Yes.
	Let us get to it, kay?
	What?
	It's like a magic for you.
	It's voodoo!
	When he found a image But Gavin's alright And the show was pretty tight So we're on the show With the final video What?
	It's like a magic for you It's voodoo I have a juju man And he teaches me the voodoo Of making pepas stay up by themselves Why are you standing up by yourself?
	You're ugly.
	Who says I am standing up by myself?
	Yeah, we usually end the show.
	So we're ending the free part of the show now.
	I'm going to leave.
	I'm going to sit with the Joe Biden video for a little bit.
	Not too long.
	And when I return, you won't be able to see this, Freeloaders, because we're cutting you out.
	But the people who pay $10 a month to see this show and a myriad of other shows with a whole bunch of new stuff coming, they get to see these treats.
	And they get treats from us every day.
	I do a show every single day.
	I do a live show five days a week.
	And then Saturday, Sunday are reruns of my old show from seven years ago, uh, which you haven't seen.
	It's pretty crazy.
	Like Nick Mullen's on there, like Tim Deren is on there, like some other people you think- Yeah, it's pre-canceled, right?
	It's pre-2015, pre-Trump.
	So you see totally mainstream comedians coming on the show and having a gay old time.
	Totally different time in the world.
	It's like good old time, like- We're still totally offensive.
	But, um... But, uh...
	Oh, there's the guy from the Memphis Three, Ann Coulter.
	It helped being in Midtown for getting guests.
	There's that British chick with the amazing tits.
	Mr. Dixon and Mr. David something.
	All right, so let's show this cute video of this kid with the cutest accent in the world.
	I worry about accents.
	I worry they're dying.
	Southern accents, the Bronx accent is dead.
	New York accents, you don't hear them.
	The Boston accent is dying.
	Seattle, like Jimi Hendrix used to talk like a groovy hippie from the Pacific Northwest.
	Now if you're black in Seattle, you sound exactly like you're black in Atlanta.
	So there's a black accent, a white non-accent, and when you hear a little kid being southern, you're like, Okay, good.
	There is some culture remaining still.
	This kid is talking to someone, talking trash, basically saying I'm the only guy that knows what jelly beans are and no one knows what they are.
	You like jelly beans?
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Yeah, yeah.
	You don't even know what... Do you even know what a jelly bean is?
	It's something nasty.
	No, it ain't.
	No, it ain't.
	Yes, it is.
	And one.
	Do you even know what a jellybean is?
	Oh, I know you don't know what a jellybean is.
	Jellybean!
	So what does a jellybean even taste like?
	Sugar.
	Like sugar?
	Ooh, no wonder it's nasty.
	Sugar's nasty.
	It ain't on strawberries and jellybeans.
	And I know Tootsie Roll's good.
	Is that a drop?
	I don't know when we'd use it.
	I know you don't even know what a jelly bean is.
	It could be just like if somebody's stupid or something.
	Yeah.
	Clip that for for every time you open your mouth.
	How dare you.
	OK.
	OK.
	So bye to the freeloaders.
	And everyone should check out a show in Baltimore in eight days, bro.
	Yes.
	One week we're going to be in Baltimore doing our offensive stand up.
	It's very offensive.
	It's very rude.
	It makes me uncomfortable.
	You can hang out with us afterwards?
	Yeah, why don't you pull up that little commercial you made?
	Commercial?
	The thing you texted me.
	Oh, okay, yeah.
	Now, the audio's not so good, but I think otherwise... Well, the guy who made it is fired.
	I said to him, I'm kind of a nine-strikes-you're-out kind of guy.
	The problem with marriage when you have three kids is You get to fuck like once every week, two weeks.
	So when it finally happens, you're like, okay, you've got to get on.
	I want to fuck you with your heels on.
	Why don't you use a garter belt and fucking corset shit.
	And we got to go full hawk.
	And your dick is like boom, boom.
	It's it's robbing like cartoon.
	And you last, I don't know, 20 seconds.
	So then You think of your dad naked being attacked by dogs.
	He's dying.
	They got his neck, blood everywhere.
	And that gets you like a minute and a half.
	Exciting.

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