| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Defending Your Hair Or Something
00:04:37
|
|
| Live from New York, it's End Off Hai One with Devin McGinnis. | |
| He can probably be a port of rekindle. | |
| I just want to bang my head and bang my fingers. | |
| Where's my notes? | |
| Oh my gosh. | |
| That was a song dedicated to you, Ryan. | |
| What? | |
| Did you know that? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Really? | |
| It was from the bassist of Elephant and the Baby Snakes or some shit. | |
| That sucked. | |
| What a fucking waste of time. | |
| What? | |
| You didn't understand it. | |
| No, I did. | |
| That was cool. | |
| Let's do it again. | |
| I wanted to be a meaningful. | |
| Can you hear the lyrics? | |
| It's like defending your hair or something. | |
| Ooh. | |
| Well, in that case, I might have to kick it forward like old times. | |
| Yeah. | |
| It's something about like me telling you what to do and how you don't want to be told what to do. | |
| Let me see here. | |
| I don't mind being told what to do. | |
| You don't mind. | |
| You like being told what to do? | |
| Don't tell me what to do. | |
| I'm so out of breath just from that little tiny run. | |
| Oh my gosh. | |
| You know what we did today at the gym? | |
| What? | |
| Explosive push-ups. | |
| Exploding push-ups? | |
| You ever done those? | |
| I think so. | |
| You do a push-up. | |
| Oh. | |
| When you push up, you're in a squat. | |
| The fuck? | |
| I guess not. | |
| I said to the trainer, I'm like, you know I'm not black, right? | |
| What did he say? | |
| But thanks to our purple workout, I pulled it off. | |
| Nice. | |
| So you go down, and then as you come up, you spring up, and the next thing you know, you're standing like this. | |
| Not standing, squatting. | |
| And that's almost like a burpee push. | |
| It's like under the burpee, yeah. | |
| But it sucks. | |
| Sounds like I would shitty my pantsy. | |
| Oh, that's funny you say that, because I said to him, I go, I think I might have diarrhea. | |
| You know, I had a pizza last night, and it had lots of spices on it, and lettuce, and it's not lettuce, but basil and stuff like that. | |
| And then I saw it in the toilet two hours later. | |
| I was saying to my son, that's an incredible vocabulary, isn't it? | |
| He goes, I don't know. | |
| He just goes up and down the hallway on those little, you know, two-wheeled skateboards. | |
| You go like that on? | |
| Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. | |
| So he's just like, and he goes, I don't think so. | |
| I don't know. | |
| I go, it's pretty amazing. | |
| No, it's not. | |
| Again, it is all those entrails, large intestines, small intestines, and then it comes out in two hours. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | |
| That seems fast to me. | |
| I thought it was like 14 hours to digest. | |
| Recently, it stopped happening, but I would eat and then have to shit right afterwards. | |
| And I'm like, there's no way that's that food. | |
| So maybe it's pushing out the old food. | |
| Yeah, you're blurry, by the way, Ryan. | |
| Again. | |
| Does he mention that in the song? | |
| Yeah, that is weird, though. | |
| Because it's not like your intestines are all full to the brim. | |
| Right. | |
| So when you eat something, that starts a chain reaction. | |
| My theory is that it gets the gut going and it knows that, oh yeah, I got to start with that. | |
| Yeah, that makes more sense. | |
| It gets everything moving. | |
| So that's the Pooh report. | |
| So what's the lyrics here? | |
| You know what I saw last night? | |
| I'm not even done, dude. | |
| I was up till 2 a.m. last night. | |
| My daughter's back from college and she's just traipsing around. | |
| Boom, boom, boom. | |
| And I'm just like, what are you doing? | |
| It's like 11 o'clock. | |
| She goes, chores. | |
| I go, no, you're not. | |
| And everyone else is sleeping in this house. | |
| Like, don't do chores. | |
| After 11, it doesn't necessarily have to be lights out. | |
| And plus, I bring her to the gym now when she's in town. | |
| So, like, we got to get up early, babe. | |
| But even at 1.30, I saw. | |
| And then I'm in bed nude at that point. | |
| So I got to like get on a robe. | |
| I'm like, what the hell's going on? | |
| I remember seeing my dad in a robe and thinking, I'm never going to be that guy. | |
| Ta-da! | |
| I want a robe now. | |
| Welcome aboard. | |
| We have a neighbor that has kind of said that maybe some stomping is a little bit too much because our baby walks like a baby. | |
| Our neighbor is saying... | |
| The neighbor's an asshole who bitches about the noise. | |
| Yeah, but she's running around the house, and I know that that's... | |
|
Diagonal Neighbor Confirmed
00:00:22
|
|
| But she stomps like, she really does flat-footedly stomp. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So I'm like, there's nothing I could do. | |
| And he doesn't blame us. | |
| He's like, nah, it's not you. | |
| It's the neighbor up there. | |
| We're right above you, so you're pointing to diagonal neighbor? | |
| I don't think so. | |
| No. | |
| So I went down and confirmed the ski boots and be diagonal neighbor. | |