| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Great Stories and Hunting Elbows
00:03:42
|
|
| That was Phil and Selmo's band, Spiritual Super Joint Ritual. | |
| Not spiritual. | |
| I'm playing that song. | |
| It's an anti social justice warrior jam. | |
| Check out the lyrics. | |
| One, two. | |
| Frozen heart explosion, fueling trash for fire, anonymous, young, and stupid, repulsed by the piracy of you and me. | |
| So all of these twats on comment boards saying shit. | |
| And we come from a different generation of just piracy. | |
| Blanket statement, blanket trap. | |
| Burn the blankets. | |
| Huh. | |
| They are legion. | |
| This is what they teach us. | |
| Identify. | |
| Identity to the ghost. | |
| Wrecking ball confusion. | |
| Mystics with no mystery. | |
| Anger bred from boredom's tit. | |
| Minus wit. | |
| Phil and some was one of the coolest people I've ever met in my life. | |
| Funny as shit, too. | |
| I remember I met Pepper from Corrosion of Conformity, and he knows that dude. | |
| Was he in Pantera, too? | |
| I think so. | |
| Or maybe they were in their other band. | |
| What's Pepper's other band called? | |
| Core or Rot or something? | |
| But Pepper told me this story about how he used to move yachts, like super millionaire yachts. | |
| They go to Morocco, right? | |
| And then these guys want to go to like fucking, I don't know, Khan, the film festival. | |
| They're not going to ride their yacht there. | |
| So you, they get sailors and they pay them and they drive it there. | |
| And now your boat's there when you go. | |
| You're moving hotel. | |
| But they are sometimes in dangerous areas like near Somalia. | |
| So he told me about a time when these Somalians were coming at the boat and they're saying, help, help. | |
| And he's like, no, not helping you. | |
| You could be pirates. | |
| And they kept coming. | |
| So they had to shoot at the Somalians. | |
| I pitched it. | |
| The brown people are leaving. | |
| We're so excited. | |
| Go, brown people, go. | |
| Don't come home. | |
| And I go, that's a great story. | |
| I pitched it to Playboy. | |
| Yeah, Playboy was going through a time where they were trying to be like Vice, and I had since left Vice. | |
| And the guy was like, yeah, it's a good story, but we usually need like three people. | |
| So find three other guys who move millionaires' yachts and shoot at Somalians. | |
| No, it's not my job. | |
| I'm trying to help you out with a story, you fucking loser. | |
| And then when I talked to Phil Anselmo about that story, he goes, yeah, I don't know. | |
| Pepper exaggerates. | |
| He gets very wise when he's on Coke. | |
| He thinks he can see the future. | |
| And sometimes he's wrong about the past. | |
| I don't know. | |
| We call him Nose Tradamus. | |
| So there's my final suit of my new suits. | |
| Same hunting thing. | |
| This has leather elbow patches, which always seem a little high for me. | |
| Maybe I have a bit long elbow. | |
| Look, it's got a little hunting thing. | |
| Can you see that glimmer shine? | |
| No. | |
| What is that? | |
| Yeah, it's like a little, what, like a leather patch? | |
| It's like a little leather buttonhole. | |
| I guess you're supposed to have a button here for when you're hunting and it's really cold. | |
| It's for like hunting pheasants. | |
| That's why I'm wearing an ascot. | |
| I kind of look like Kevin Bacon in Animal House at the beginning. | |
| I sent you a picture of that. | |
| Getting better with this light phone, guys. | |
|
Listening To News On The Radio
00:00:40
|
|
| Getting better. | |
| Here's the secret. | |
| You bring a little notepad around. | |
| I just bought a little Walgreens notepad. | |
| It's this big. | |
| So when you think of something, instead of like emailing the guy right there on the street or texting someone, you go, contact Chris about Chris. | |
| That was me contacting Chris Knowles at Newsweek and saying, Newsmax, and saying, dude, you've got to get Chris Plant on your network. | |
| I listened to him in the car on the radio. | |
| He's a DC guy. | |
| He's so fucking good and funny and intelligent. | |
| And it's just a fun way to get your news every day. | |
| That sounds so gay. | |
| But I thought, just get cameras there in the room. | |
| I'm sure he's syndicated, but I'm sure the radio people don't give a shit. | |