| Time | Text |
|---|---|
|
Patty the Batty's Fight
00:03:43
|
|
| That's an Italian retard trying to rap. | |
| I thought it went great. | |
| Good work, Jerry Hassani, Ricky No. | |
| I missed the first intro because I was watching Seinfeld. | |
| It was Kramer's girlfriend's wearing him out. | |
| It was Emily was the name of the girlfriend, but it was Sarah Silverman. | |
| Funny little clip. | |
| But like, you're sitting there recording the show and I'm in my office watching Seinfeld. | |
| Getting older. | |
| Heard that three times? | |
| So that must be the chorus. | |
| Oh, you mean waiting for me to show up? | |
| Yeah, yeah. | |
| Who is this guy? | |
| I don't know. | |
| He's good. | |
| I don't respect disabilities. | |
| I don't know. | |
| It kind of has like an extra layer of like sincerity and pain to it. | |
| Like, it's definitely authentic pain. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Like, the struggle is real. | |
| Yeah, yeah. | |
| The struggle is real to do anything. | |
| To pour a glass of orange juice, the struggle is real. | |
| You can do anything you want to do. | |
| I want to be a rapper. | |
| Now. | |
| Now, the handicapped deserve the same rights as everyone else, but that doesn't mean they can be the goats. | |
| Like that guy who sang the national anthem at the Mets game. | |
| And I was just like, for crying out loud. | |
| We respect disabilities, but we don't think they're non-existent. | |
| I guess that's sort of like acceptance hate. | |
| Right? | |
| So we had a fun weekend. | |
| I don't know what I did Friday night. | |
| I can't remember. | |
| On Saturday, we watched the game with England versus France. | |
| Sorry, I can't do soccer. | |
| It is fucking boring. | |
| I know it's become a cliche in America, but I just don't get it. | |
| And this is going to make a lot of baby monsters mad. | |
| I feel the same way about UFC. | |
| I watched that Patty fight on Saturday night, Patty the Batty. | |
| And I was like, when you watch boxing, you're going, knock him out, knock him out. | |
| But with UFC, there's so much toes and wrestling. | |
| And I can't see. | |
| I don't even know who's winning. | |
| Maybe it's just because I don't know about it. | |
| But when someone, when they're both down on the mat and they're on top of each other, I'm like, is this good or bad for you? | |
| Are you winning? | |
| What's happening here? | |
| Yeah, because you could have control on the bottom position sometimes. | |
| And like high school wrestling, if both your shoulders are pinned down, the guy goes boop, boop, and you're out. | |
| But so this proud boy, we call him Brown Dave, he is the guy who stood up to the DA after the fight that put Max and John in jail. | |
| And they said, look, you better take this plea or you're going to get 20 years. | |
| And he goes, no, I'm going to go to court. | |
| Which Max and John did too. | |
| They refused a plea. | |
| They lost because they're white. | |
| He won because he's brown. | |
| Because the DA, Steinglass is his name, he knew he had to make this all about racism because the jury are little rich girls who watch Sex in the City. | |
| So they love the idea of putting a Nazi in jail. | |
| But if the Nazi's brown, then they feel bad. | |
| So he guessed that, and he put all his chips on black. | |
|
Buffing Free: Indian Relatives' Reaction
00:00:30
|
|
| And they went, or all his chips on brown. | |
| And they went, we're not bluffing. | |
| We're not bluffing. | |
| And he goes, I think you are. | |
| This is the state. | |
| This is not just Steinglass. | |
| This is New York. | |
| This is de Blasio. | |
| This is Cuomo. | |
| He went up against New York State. | |
| And they went, okay, you're right. | |
| We're buffing. | |
| You're free to go. | |
| Forget it. | |
| So his Indian, so this was his 40th birthday. | |
| All his Indian relatives are there. | |
| They don't like us. | |