Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.
Nope.
It's the last button murder.
No, no, I'm the all the way to the right-hand side.
That's my imitation of President Joe Biden trying to put on its fucking jacket.
Can we just cut to that 2-4?
Yeah.
While it's still fresh in our minds.
Come on, Joe.
Here you go.
You got it.
And then if you just...
You gotta...
Oh, the wind's blowing it away from you, you see.
So maybe turn into the wind?
There you go.
It's just here.
Joe, can you show me how to put on a fucking blazer?
The guy's been wearing a blazer every day for 50 years.
And look, that's crazy.
Okay.
That looks like he's doing an impersonation of what you just did.
Yeah.
And then even then, he rolls up.
Like, you know when you put on underwear when your legs are still kind of wet?
And they roll up?
And then it's...
Oh, my glasses are gone.
It looks like they fell with like two times gravity, too.
Holy shit.
She's tired.
She's tired of the president.
Neither of them want that job anymore.
He does not want to be president anymore.
And Jill does not want to be the first lady.
Doesn't he bump into her kind of hard?
Dude, I could fix that.
Like right here.
What a fucking loser.
But if you talk to lefties, they'll go, yeah, I know he's bad, but it could be worse.
We could have Trump.
That's the worst nightmare.
So what are they doing to ensure that doesn't happen?
They are storming Mar-a-Lago, FBI, just like a good old Roger Stone.
And they are basically they're trying to implicate him with Jan 6, just like all this other bullshit.
And they're hoping that he has some illegal documents.
Which is weird because when he took documents, everyone takes a ton of shit home.
The Clintons basically emptied the White House when they left.
He took a bunch of documents.
He could have declassified them all with the snap of a finger, but you can't declassify things after you're president.
So they'll probably get him on a technicality like, hey, those were still classified after you were president and you had them, so you cheated.
I mean, show me the man, I'll show you the crime.
Isn't that what we said in Stalinist Russia, the Soviet Union?
So they're showing, they're grabbing a bunch of shit and they're just going to sift through it until they find a crime.
They could do it to you or I, easy.
Go to your house.
You'll find something wrong.
Remember Laura Loomer?
She was on some list where she wasn't allowed to have a gun and they never told her that.
Now, I can't remember why she felt inclined to look it up, but she did, got rid of the guns, and was safe.
But they could have stormed her place and thrown her in jail.
Thrown her?
Yeah, thrown her.
Sorry, a lot of drinking this weekend.
A lot of booze.
Not good.
I think I'm done, though.
That was my brother's bachelor party, and then we went to Greenville, South Carolina.
Had a friend drive me around.
My old boss from the Blaze, actually.
He still likes me.
He drove me around the whole area.
You know, like all cities, if you're close to the city, you don't have much of a lot.
And you move out, you get a bigger lot.
But you might get, if you go a little too far, you're too secluded.
And your kids don't play.
So I just said, here's my parameters.
My boys, my kids hop on their bike and go to their friend's house.
That's all that matters.
And that rules out a lot of shit.
Anything on a mountain?
No, thanks.
They got a big mountain there.
Paris Mountain, I think it's called.
But the takeaway from the south, I never really spent a lot of time there.
I mean, I guess I was in Abbeville.
Is that South Carolina?
For that pilot.
American $0 a day.
But unmitigated friendliness everywhere you go.
At one point, I think it was even last night, maybe, I'm walking down the street, North Maine, and I have on khakis, a white Haynes t-shirt and chucks.
That's all.
It could be a prison uniform.
I look like a cholo.
And some guy stops, like a 20-year-old, goes, hey man, I like your outfit.
Now, I left home in 1988, moved to Quebec.
So I'm an English person in a French province.
Animosity abounds.
Then I moved to the Lower East Side.
I'm a white, upper-middle-class guy living with Puerto Ricans and blacks.
Animosity abounds.
You're the gentrifier, you're the white male.
Then I go to the suburbs.
I'm a mega guy in a liberal suburb.
Animosity.
I've never not been in an acrimonious environment.
This is the opposite.
And I'm convinced it's God.
There's a church every block.
And people are just fulfilled.
You're no longer searching when you have God in your life.
You can relax and enjoy your surroundings.
Whereas atheists are always like, what?
Why am I here?
It's statistically impossible that I'm here.
What am I doing here?
At one point, we saw this cool house.
It was like an old, kind of a British-looking home that had been modernized.
There was like a glass, completely glass hallway.
You could see into his house.
And there was black steel.
So it was a really cool combination of modern architecture and classic architecture.
And I go, fuck, that house is perfect.
I wish that was for sale.
And the guy driving me around goes, tell him.
I go, what?
Tell him you think he has a beautiful house.
Because the guy was doing lawnwork.
And I'm like, this is not my background, but okay.
So I wind down the window and almost like a battered dog in a shelter, I go, hey, you have a beautiful house.
And he's like, thanks, buddy.
Nice.
Everyone I met there was incredibly cops.
Cop stops me.
Hey, how you doing, buddy?
But the one thing weird about it, too, was with the lack of anger and resentment, there's just sort of a lack of edge to it.
There's nothing edgy.
There's no punks in Greenville.
I don't think they've ever had a punk scene.
Now there's poverty there and there's crime, but that's in the Bible too.
If it's in the Bible, it's in Greenville.
There's no punk in the Bible, so there's no punks in Greenville.
I said to him, how's crime?
Because there's a really bad part of town, black part of town.
And the cop is like, man, business is booming.
He goes, that's true everywhere, though.
This kid shot a kid dead the other night.
And I go, oh, that sucks.
And he goes, yeah, I'd hate to be heartless, but they don't value their lives.
Why should I?
They just shoot each other every day.
But yeah.
Bump into some fans.
People recognize me.
Met some proud boys.
Those guys were great.
Got way too drunk.
I get this habit too with day drinking where you start at 3 and then you're doing shots and it's heaven.
And then around 8 p.m., you're like, dude, I don't know.
I got to have a nap.
Then you sleep from 9 to 1 and you awake.
It's like being a ghost.
You're not really alive.
It's not a good setup.
So before we get to this Trump thing, I want to tell you about an Uber driver I met.
This is why you should always talk to people.
His name is Jabuti Dumpidap.
No, what's his name?
I sent you the article, Ryan.
This guy's name is Sarah Bidget.
Sarah, like S-A-R-A, B-J-I-T.
Sarah Bidget.
Singh.
All Sikhs have the last name Singh for some weird reason.
And he owned a liquor store in a place called Downey in L.A. And so did his buddy.
And his buddy's name is go down a little bit.
Gerpreet.
See, it sucks to look these people up because they all have the same fucking name.
So there's about 100 Gerpreet sings when you Google it.
So include Downey.
Anyway, this story is not in the news anywhere.
It should be international news.
So these guys are patriots.
This guy Gerpreet was in the Navy and they love this country and they love Trump.
So my guy, my driver, not involved in this, well, not directly, he starts telling his customers when they come by, who are you voting for, buddy?
I think that you should vote Trump.
He's really a great guy.
He's totally digging it and he's real good for the country, my friend.
And that's the worst thing you can say in L.A. So not only do people tell him to fuck off, but they boycott the store bone dry.
Bone dry.
Not one single person.
Once word gets out in the community, not one single person goes there.
So he has to close up shop.
He says he lost 400 grand from his lease and inventory and all this other shit.
But it doesn't end there.
People start going, bankruptcy is not enough.
These guys need to die.
Because the word gets out, not just him, but the other Sikh who's like two blocks away and also has a liquor store.
Word gets out that the Sikhs in the community are pro-Trump, which means they're anti-Mexican racists, right?
That's the way dumb people think.
So they start going, let's fucking kill them.
And this black dude comes to my driver and he says, I'm going to fucking shoot you tonight.
And the driver, the guy with Sarah Bijit, just goes, no, thanks.
So that's when he locks up, closes the key, gives everything to the landlord, doesn't come back.
A day later, his friend is shot dead by this Mexican who ends up in a shootout with the police.
I don't know if I sent you that other article.
And he dies at 6 a.m.
They say shot himself in the head.
I think he was shooting at police.
He accidentally shot himself in the head.
I don't know.
Or maybe he thought, I'm not going to win this.
But this is anti-Trumpism.
This is like we've gone beyond national divorce.
Remember when I used to say that?
Ooh, we don't seem to like each other anymore.
No, they want us dead.
And they want Trump dead.
Why?
Because he's the first president in decades, definitely since Reagan, who cares about the people and is anti-establishment.
This was a Trump murder.
And no one knows that but me and my Uber driver from the airport.
Pretty heavy, huh?
That's why we didn't have a show yesterday, by the way.
My flight was canceled.
And while sitting there waiting, as this black woman stared at the screen like she was watching Saving Private Ryan on it, I just said, I'm just going to buy a ticket.
It's either wait four hours or spend 400 bucks on a new ticket and just leave the airport.
Like these people have no fucking clue what they're doing.
It's not worth your time to sit there and wait for them as they stare.
What are you looking at?
Fucking incompetence abounds.
Anyway, so let's get to this Trump thing because I think it's very interesting.
1-4.
Turns out the judge who has the biggest nose in America.
That's weird that a pop-up shows up of Raheem Kassan looking sexy.
Hello.
Hey, you want to subscribe?
I'll take my shirt off.
It's the new sexy right, like Will Witt with his sexy questions.
Hey, do you think they should make hate speech illegal?
This guy was previously a pedo lawyer.
Judge Bruce Reinhart, probably the guy who signed the warrant, used to defend pedophiles and was linked to Jeffrey Epstein.
And we're going to get into that later.
There's a lot of kid fuckery going on here.
Actually, you know what?
That just makes me want to jump to 3-2 because it's linked.
Yeah, there's a lot of sketchy shit going on with these establishment types.
They're not just corrupt doing insider trading, setting up things with Hunter Biden where he's getting kickbacks for the big guy.
That's the best it gets, is this intense corruption and the warping of our justice system and the Soros DAs getting people off for heinous crimes.
There's also some kid fucking going down.
One of the things you've been talking about is your application.
$45 million for being wrong.
And you know what?
For almost 100% being wrong.
But I'm still 1% open to any conspiracy theory.
Anyone.
Leave a little sliver.
And that's why people shouldn't be sued $45 million because they might be right.
Also, 1.5, we see that this is Merrick Garland.
I didn't know this.
You know, this retard DA who says that the number one threat to America is white supremacy.
I mean, it's just fucking laughable, right?
Nazi skinheads.
He was supposed to be...
Are you sure that's 1.5?
Or maybe it was 1.6.
That was 1.5?
We'll try 1.6.
He was supposed to be a Supreme Court judge.
Attorney General Merrick Garland approved an FBI rather than the former president who personally revoked his nomination for the Supreme Court when he won the presidency.
Now go back to 1.5.
This is what it's all about, folks.
U.S. Code 2071, concealment, removal, or mutilation generally.
And then if you are convicted of these crimes, mishandling documents, you shall forfeit the office and be disqualified from holding any office under the United States.
So they're pretending it's about documentation.
It's really about preventing him from being in office again.
And it's also, they're also praying to God that they'll find some Jan 6 planning, which is just so stupid.
What?
You think Donald Trump planned a riot?
This is the weird thing, too, about being dominated by these people.
They're fucking losers.
Like, China is a worthy adversary.
I'm scared of China.
But, like, that judge we just saw in the Alex Jones trial.
Have you seen her social media?
She's got rainbows all over her fucking face.
Like, she's a loser.
Merrick Garland saying, white supremacy is the number one threat.
That's gay.
You know what I mean?
Like, they're fucking nerds.
Look at Jerry Nadler.
That weird little fucking oompa loompa pork-bellied chomba pot.
He looks like he's a little teacup, short and stout.
Yeah.
He looks like a character from Beauty and the Beast, like one of those talking candelabras or something.
He says Antifa doesn't exist.
It's just an idea, which Joe Biden says too.
Our president, the front of this whole radical leftist movement, this subterfuge, cannot put a coat on.
Balances that are so fundamental to our democracy.
It probably reeks.
Want to join the distinguished chairman in acknowledging legislation of other members of Congress that are contained in the chairman's legislation that they're putting forth.
She's a babbling, drunken loser, criminal, constantly stealing from us and insider trading.
And like she's an integral part of this fucking system.
I have something on her.
Well, she says China is one of the freest societies in the world.
We still support the One China policy.
We go there to acknowledge the status quo is what our policy is.
There was nothing disruptive about that.
It was only about saying China is one of the freest societies in the world.
Don't take it from me.
That's from Freedom Comps.
Let's talk a little bit about that.
Okay, let's go to a Christian church then, shall we?
Shall we go to church?
Let's check in with the Wiggers.
I don't mean the white guys into rap, but the Muslims up there.
How are they feeling?
I'm sure Wiggers wouldn't fare too well over there either.
What the hell?
I used to like to have concentration camps for Wiggers.
Well, I had a bunch.
I thought I had a bunch of Nancy Pelosi stuff.
Did I lose it?
Do a search.
Searching.
Because there's the one where, you know, the famous one going around where they say, aren't you, is your, does your husband...
Yeah, there it is.
Is that in my notes?
Yep.
Where?
Oh, it's right above.
Yeah, play that.
You tell a little lie.
You make your baby cry.
You cheat a little bit.
Jim.
You quarrel over it.
Got a little wall of sound to it.
Yes.
Kind of perfect, too, right?
She's buying chips.
She...
Are they sending their best?
These are the people that have taken over the country.
It started with Obama.
We were cooking along.
I didn't mind Clinton.
He was fiscally conservative relatively.
And then Obama came along and he just infiltrated.
He merged the CIA and the FBI.
He added like 250,000 bureaucrats to the system, all under the guise of social justice.
So he infected our bureaucracy with even more bureaucracy and more socialist bureaucracy.
So now we have the media and the deep state and academia, all these kindergarten teachers, all out to destroy America, all telling us that things like heterosexuality is a system of oppression.
Look at this 3.7.
It's being taught.
It's being taught in school.
San Diego schools are now teaching that heterosexuality is a system of oppression.
Girls can have penises.
Encourages children to adopt synthetic sexual identities such as pansexual.
Pansexual means I fuck anything that moves.
Children should not be fucking anything at all.
So you should be asexual as a child.
Obviously.
I'm at the point now where every sentence I say, I just have to put obviously at the end.
Although the good news is some people are fighting back.
There's a library 3.6 that just got shut down for doing exactly that, pushing this sexual agenda.
Voters defund West Michigan Library campaign against LGBTQ materials.
But sorry, we're straying from Trump here.
So I was, Merrick Garland is getting revenge.
There's a lot going on here, too.
There's revenge.
There is prosecuting for Jan 6.
There is making sure he never runs again.
They're all combined.
But remember I said Merrick Garland, the fucking idiot who said white supremacy is the number one problem?
I thought this was a fun little look at the most wanted list.
These are white supremacists, I guess?
No?
They're black supremacists.
This was a big pattern in the early 70s.
Terrorism was everywhere.
Hijacking a plane was big.
Weather Underground was big.
And a lot of it was black militants who had this new take on Islam.
But then a lot of it was white Jewish women who were participating in all this shit to give the money to black militants.
Like the Weather Underground, when they murdered those cops, they were trying to get money not for themselves, but for some black militant separatist group.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
And by the way, 1-8, this was all over the news like yesterday afternoon that Trump had put ripped up notes and let them sort of rot in the toilet so they could be flushed down.
And I hear that and I go, yeah?
There was some old lady at my bar and she goes, and the problem is no one is watching this.
They're watching Fox News.
They're not learning about this.
And she's like 90 million, so I don't bother her.
She's got a walker and everything.
What am I going to do?
Get in an argument with her?
But I'm like, yeah, so?
You put notes down the toilet.
Good.
I don't want your notes available to people.
Like the way they see us now is as retarded villains.
That might be the name of this episode.
They see us as retarded villains.
Like, look at this 1-9 thing.
You know, the writers for these superhero shows are all leftist nerds.
It's not a very right-wing thing to want to write for a superhero show.
Fuck you and your lives!
Good.
Is this supposed to be a bad guy?
He is supposed to be the bad guy, but I have not even watched the show, but he's like the biggest meme going around right now.
Yes.
Homelander.
I've seen it.
What's with his face?
I don't know.
It looks like Jason Bateman mixed with insanity.
Yeah, it looks like a deep fake.
It looks plastic.
Are they doing that on purpose?
I don't know.
Or has the actors had a lot of surgery?
He has an insane face.
Do you want to meet someone?
Someone very special to me?
Yeah?
All right.
Come on down, everybody.
This little guy here is my son, Ryan.
The first time I've ever heard that sentence.
That's a drop.
Oh, my God.
You just made me dizzy.
Yeah.
Now, stop.
I have done, in my movie, How to Be a Man, there's a scene where my wife throws a bottle of Gatorade at my face.
I could not not go like this.
So they had to add my eyeballs in post, CGI, my eyes not flinching.
The fact that that kid managed to get hit and not flinch, because he knew it was coming.
That is good acting.
Good work.
Yeah!
Yeah!
They think we would all just laugh and clap if our enemies were beheaded.
Meanwhile, the opposite is true.
Like, they'd like to kill Ann Coulter.
And this is kind of off-topic, but you remember the whole, oh, this is related to how they see us.
So they think, remember that Sean Penn Kid Rock thing where they go, you still think you can see Alaska from your house?
Remember that?
Russia, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, Russia, sorry.
She never said that.
She said, you think that an Alaskan doesn't know about foreign policy?
She goes, there's parts of Alaska where you can see Russia.
That's what she said.
And it's true.
You can.
It was from SNL.
Did I just read that right?
Yeah.
That becomes true.
So the Tina Fey joke down there will click play on that thing.
What insight into Russian actions, particularly in the last couple of weeks, does the proximity of the state give you?
There are next-door neighbors, and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska.
This is who said, I can see Russia from my house.
Nonpartisan message from Governor Sarah Palin and Senator Hillary Clinton.
Good evening, my fellow Americans.
I was so excited when I was told Senator Clinton and I would be addressing you tonight.
And I was told I would be addressing you alone.
Now, I know it must be a little bit strange for all of you to see the two of us together.
I got the clip right here.
To see Russia from my house.
Speaking of seeing Russia from your house, like, that's what they accuse us of being.
And Sarah Palin was not our best contender by any means, but she's not stupid enough for them, so they have to make a fake one.
But everything they say about us, like you want us dead and you're stupid, everything they say about us is true of them.
Like check out Nancy Pelosi here saying she's always been attached to China because as a kid she would try to dig there.
What?
2-3.
Excuse you.
Dug a hole deep enough, we would reach China.
Little girl, I was told at the beach if I dug a hole deep enough, we would reach China.
So we've always felt a connection there.
That's when I was a little girl.
That might be one of the stupidest things a politician has ever said ever.
First of all, that's a joke when parents say that.
It's always like, you don't eat your dinner.
There's children starving in Africa.
Secondly, if you were to dig right through the earth and China's on the other side, that means China is the farthest possible place in the world.
It's on the exact other side of the globe.
So if anything, that should teach you that China's far away, my dear.
What an imbecile.
Anyway, let's do, let's catch up with my pet Biden.
Aye, aye.
Because we're basing the show on his retardation.
Very difficult.
Biden.
On him I can depend.
My cat.
Biden.
A monster of a president.
He's big and blue and sleepy.
But a friendly monster too.
My cat.
Biden.
Wait, what?
That doesn't rhyme.
So we've just got a bunch of montages of him being an absolute fool.
I think it's a message from the big guy upstairs, from God.
He goes, when you have deep state communism, you have raging incompetence.
And I'm going to put in checks and balances where when something starts falling apart, it's obvious to you.
You know, if brothers and sisters have sex, the kid is retarded.
That's a message from the big guy saying, don't do that.
If you let dictatorships, Banana Republic, I mean, you know what a banana republic is, right, Ryan?
No.
It's a term coined to refer to like those Central American, Caribbean countries like Honduras, where they just have one export run by whatever that Chiquita fruit thing is.
So you have bananas as your main export, and then the corporations that own the banana companies, they essentially run your country.
You can have politicians elected, but they're not in control.
The rich oligarchs are.
But the reason that we call this move with Mar-a-Lago a Banana Republic move is because also in these corrupt dictatorships, really, posing as democracies, you have things like ex-presidents, the FBI being used as a political tool to antagonize your enemies and make sure they don't run again.
So we're acting like a third world country, hence the name Banana Republic.
But I don't think any banana republic has ever had a bigger clown as their leader.
Like this guy has got to go.
Surely, I think the left agrees on that, at least.
Lord knows who they're going to come up with in 2024.
But look at this.
Weather may be beyond our control, but it's not beyond our control.
This happens at the very beginning, so you'll have to jump on it.
Beyond our control.
The weather may be out of our control for now, but it's not beyond our control.
And I promise you, we're staying, the federal government, along with the state and county and the city, we're staying until everybody.
Here he's just trying to speak English.
And it's not going very well.
It must be hard to read the teleprompter with sunglasses on.
You know, most families are focused on just putting three meals on the table, taking care of their kids and paying their bills.
Yep.
Helping you do that is my job.
That's a president's job as well.
When it comes to the benefits of this bill, you don't have to take my word for it.
Nearly 130 economists, seven Nobel laureates on the economists, in the economics, I should say.
What?
Former Secretaries of Treasury.
You know, I know most families are focused on just putting it in the future.
Former Secretaries of Treasury.
If I'm blackout drunk and about to faint, I talk, I'm more eloquent than him.
You have a video, Ryan.
Yeah.
So what they're doing now is they just, they pre-tape his speeches and then they jump cut them.
And you've never seen this before.
This is groundbreaking.
A presidential speech with jump cuts in it.
Never been done.
It does so much more.
It saves lives, including yours.
It'll help you do your job.
But it's just a start.
Last week I rolled out my Safe for America plan with the goal of doing three key things.
First, take additional common sense steps to do this.
I'm 100% positive this is real.
This is from the source is Kyle Martinson at GOP, RNC Research, Rapid Research.
The camera angle changes.
Yeah.
They get closer.
Maybe because they feel like they don't want to hide it.
They want to make it seem like it's on purpose.
Stylistic.
Right, right.
20 seconds of a pre-recorded speech Joe Biden gave yesterday.
Take a look at how much the White House edited.
I did not edit this in any way.
That's disturbing.
Did you see Trump, the video Trump put out?
We're a nation in decline?
Oh, yeah.
It's really good.
It's wildly good.
And he shows Joe Biden in it.
I mean, it's three and a half minutes.
We'll play a little bit of it, if you can dig it up.
He just put that on Truth Social recently.
If you go to New YorkPost.com.
Yeah, there it is.
We are a nation in decline.
We are a failing nation.
They stormed his home right after that.
That tie sucks, dude.
We are a nation that has a less inflation in over 40 years.
Where the stock market just finished the worst first half of a year in more than five decades.
We are a nation that has the highest energy cost in its history.
And we are no longer energy independent or energy dominant, which we were just two short years ago.
Isn't it nice to meet someone who can speak English?
We are a nation that allowed Russia to devastate a country, Ukraine, killing hundreds of thousands of people.
You know what I was just thinking about this morning?
I remember, I want to say, is it 10 years ago?
Time is weird when you're old.
It was like six or seven years ago, I guess we'll say, between five and ten.
There was Ukrainian protesters.
This is pre-COVID.
Kind of hipsters.
Young people, college students, who were protesting in Ukraine.
And Russia just killed them all.
And there was no media outcry.
No one gave a shit.
But now that you're supposed to care about Ukraine, now we care.
Now there's flags everywhere.
That was kind of an annoying thing, too, in the South.
I saw a lot of Ukraine flags.
Shut up.
You dupes.
But go forward in that a little bit.
It's really heavy when he shows Biden.
Yeah, there, go back.
That part.
Around we go.
Come on, buddy.
Come on, pal.
You can do it.
The little engine that could.
on anyway it's kind of spoken to me because where there's gays there tends to be some kid diddling I'm not saying all gays are diddlers, but a disproportionate number of them are, which brings us to the war on kids.
Don't worry, I won't forget about that Trump thing.
We are living in an ageism era where children are seen as human garbage.
Regulations to indoctrinate American school children with poisonous and divisive left-wing doctors.
So this is the big story that's pissing off everyone in the world.
3-3, you're not supposed to notice that these guys are gay.
Not only are a disproportionate number of gays involved with molestation, but a disproportionate number of lefties.
Georgia couple charged with using their adopted children to make child poor.
Now, if you follow the internet and you look at social media, the leftist position is, why would you notice that they're gay?
Why even mention that?
It's irrelevant.
Is it?
Because we talked about that earlier.
Remember that letter where they showed the data of these studies and they noticed that there were a disproportionate number of kids of two dads have mental issues.
They called each other, he's my partner in crime.
Premeditated.
I mean, talk about sinister.
Pedophiles should all be shot, but how about pedophiles who plan it out?
Oh, and then there's those guys, yep.
Look at the first article there.
Two dads are better than one.
Just bending over backwards, trying to accommodate everyone.
Those guys are still in prison, the Asian and the white guy, and each of them say the other guy made me do it.
Two-thirds of applications from single people to become a parent of a circuit child are done by men.
Two-thirds?
Jesus.
But yeah, three, four.
The left has always been rife with pedophiles.
A 1970s campaign to lower the age of consent has returned to haunt Harriet Harmon, Patricia Hewitt, and Jack Droney.
But in such a liberal climate, it wasn't hard for a small, determined group to exploit a commitment to free speech.
Always happens.
You start with anarchy, you're supporting it, yes, free speech, yep, gays should have the right to do this.
Yep, I agree, I agree.
And then the next thing you know, there's a pedophile saying, hi.
And you go, what are you doing here?
Oh, you invited me in.
I don't want you here.
Remember, the SPLC found that Christian group.
They listed them as a hate group because they said, oh, okay.
I'm not saying gays can adopt, but can we make triple sure that there's zero other options before we give the kid to the gay couple?
And that was seen as homophobic.
And the next thing you know, their banking's shut down.
Everything is over.
Like these guys, 3-8.
This is the last thing I'll say about this because we actually sort of cannibalized this section and we've already covered most of the stuff.
Like the, oh no, no, no.
Like the library I was talking about.
Like this.
3-5.
Sorry, we'll do that one last.
Flamer.
Dallas schools has the graphic book Flamer available in two of their middle schools.
The book contains sexually explicit and pornographic content.
It's available to 12-year-olds.
Click on the pictures.
So that's the book.
Really badly drawn.
So they have to jerk.
They're talking about jerking off in a thing a mountain dew.
And if you don't do it, then you have to drink it.
That's fun.
It's a fun game for kids.
He gets teased.
Suck any good dicks lately?
Ha ha ha.
Maybe they should be teased.
Like this.
12 is fucking young.
They're not sexual yet.
No puberty.
But they can read about intimate blowjobs.
And then, so we already talked about the voters shutting down the library, San Diego saying heterosexuality is a system of oppression.
And then this was good to see.
I mean, I'm a libertarian.
I want people to have freedom.
But just like the analogy I just said where the pedophiles show up and they're like, hi, and we say, who invited you?
It starts with diapers and it ends with molested kids.
Sorry, baby fetishists.
You're depraved.
WRTV's Meredith Hackler takes us to My Inner Baby to explain.
My Inner Baby sells adult diapers as well as clothing for adults that mimics that of children's clothing.
Recently, the city of Noblesville issued them a cease and desist, claiming that they're violating their zoning ordinance.
The city says this is a sex shop, while My Inner Baby says they provide medical devices to people who need them.
We have many customers that do use it for medical needs, and that's the biggest thing.
We don't distinguish.
We don't ask our customers, hey, what are you coming in here for?
It's how can we help?
The owners of the- That guy's got bad vibes.
So their pitch is, no, no, it's just for people who are incontinent.
Really?
Well, why isn't it called the incontinence shop?
Why have onesies?
And you know what they do, right?
They don't just sit around and suck on the bottle and poop themselves.
They fuck each other's mouths.
The woman, when she dresses up like that, she pees herself and then she blows the guy who's pretending to be her dad.
It's sexual and it's fucking sick.
Your babies say they are an FDA-licensed medical facility, but the city of Noblesville doesn't see it that way.
They sent this second cease and desist order after the Board of Zoning agreed the store was violating their zoning district.
The city's attorney has argued that since we're using the letters ABDL and others in our marketing, that we are thereby marketing everything as a sex shop.
The acronym ABDL stands for Adult Baby Diaper Lovers, which in some cases Can be considered a fetish.
However, one customer says the city has got it all wrong.
It is a medical supply store.
There is a lot of people like myself that have bladder issues.
Okay.
I do wear incontinence due to my bladder being paralyzed.
So I come here because this is actually a really good place to go, and it's better than what Walmart sells.
While Clinton uses the medical supplies sold at My Inner Baby, she also enjoys the clothes.
What a coincidence.
Isn't that a funny coincidence?
Yeah.
So she's incontinent.
She goes to Inner Baby, and then when she sees the onesies and the soothers and the little baby bibs, she goes, I like those too.
Look at Venn diagram.
You're a fat and lazy, depraved whore.
From what?
You know, I think these people may also be victims of child abuse too.
And they're trying to like relive their childhood without the sexual trauma or something fucked up.
It's depraved.
That's, we can all agree, right?
It is very therapeutic for me.
My inner baby may be out of the norm, but the owners maintain they aren't hurting anyone or breaking any rules.
So they plan on fighting the city in court.
This is not a sex shop, and we're not going to be bullied.
You don't get to tell us your morals don't fit.
Nobody puts adult baby in the corner.
We're going to stand and we're going to fight back.
Working for you in Noblesville.
Meredith Hackler, WRTV.
Thanks, Meredith.
Time to pacify those guys.
All right.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Wait.
We left out this Biden gaff.
Oh, yeah.
This is a fake.
Showbine shakes hands with Chuck Schumer and then immediately forgets he did it and tries again.
Hi, Chuck.
Thank you.
Hey, Chuck.
Shake my hand.
Great speaker, our partner who all of these people.
Oh, that's embarrassing.
He touches his mouth.
Blow that up because his mannerisms are so bizarre.
There you go, got it.
Shake your hand.
And he looks at everybody.
Shake my hand.
What the fuck?
Now our great speaker, our partner who all of these buildings are.
And then what's this?
Is he drooling?
Shake my hand.
Hey, shake my hand.
He's looking at his hand.
What the fuck?
Now our great speaker, our partner who's been in the house.
And then he wipes his chin and smiles like, it's just changing.
Hey, that didn't happen.
I didn't shake his hand.
That one was just a severe, man.
That is severe short-term memory loss.
My God.
Holy Lord.
All right, now let's do that Trump ending so we can leave on a happy note because we've got molested kids, a corrupt dictatorship.
We've got a weaponized FBI.
It's not a very cheery episode.
Correct.
There is no mountain we cannot climb.
There is no summit we cannot reach.
There is no challenge we cannot beat.
There is no victory we cannot have.
We will not bend.
We will not break.
We will not yield.
Ever, ever, ever.
We will never give in.
We will never give up.
We will never, ever, never let you down.
As long as we are confident, the tyrants we are fighting do not stand up a chance.
Because we are Americans and Americans kneel to God and God alone.
And it is time to start talking about greatness for our country again.
And we will let Joe Yodik out of prison, frankly.
Did you hear that part when he said that?
No, I didn't hear that part.
Yeah, it was in there.
So he mentioned the Tiger King in that speech?
It seems kind of superfluous.
They did mention the Tiger King, yeah.
He said, there's going to be great new episodes of Tiger King on Netflix, frankly.
But we're going to let him out in a big way.
What was his crime anyway?
Killing tigers?
I don't give a shit.
No, no, it wasn't even...
They just did that to assault my character.
But it was about...
Oh, yeah, you did plan to have someone murdered.
Well, you know.
That's frowned upon in the legal community.
Tigers kill all the time.
But yeah, that's what I saw in the South, Tiger King.
I saw America.
That's right.
I saw good people helping each other out.
I saw a total lack of conflict.
I saw hope for the future.
And we know we're going to destroy in the midterms.
Now, as far as 2024 goes, it's possible they'll try to steal the election again.
We're up against a very corrupt justice system.
They just had Trump invaded based on bullshit with a pedophile judge and a DA who just wants revenge and a deep state that is determined to make it illegal for him to run for president because that's the only way they can stop him now.
Make his existence illegal.
Yours, woke moralists.
We'll see who cancels who.
Are you mocking me?
No.
I was serious.
All right.
So yeah, I think it makes sense to be optimistic about the future.
But holy shit.
Things sure go bad before they get good.
You talk about the peaks and valleys.
This is a hell of a valley we're in right now, boys.
I'm seeing national divorce trend on Twitter, but it feels like the opposite because, I mean, you have Andrew Yang standing up for Trump, Cuomo saying this better be legit because this is terrifying if this is just for political gains.
You got people.
Yeah, Cuomo.
Cuomo is against it.
Rubio, I mean, it seems to be like the divorced couple is coming back because the kid got in trouble in school and now they're working together.
They'd be like, what the fuck is this?
What the fuck is heesh?
You know what I was thinking, Ryan?
The same way your dad walked out on you at a young age, you should consider walking out on your wife and kid.
I thought you were going to say walking out on him.
Move to L.A. Maybe.
Maybe Roosevelt Island for a little bit.
Yeah, do that.
I was thinking about Riding motorcycles.
I asked Maddie if it's too late to pick it up.
He said, nah, he can pick it up.
So maybe I will.
Okay, good.
I'm glad to hear it.
Because she's not that cute.
She's just the most cutest petutist.
Yeah.
So don't feel disheartened, folks.
I mean, we built this country.
We kicked out the British, the most powerful empire in history.
And we fought them from the trees with a couple of Indians and Frenchmen on our back pocket.
So we can survive this.
But it's just amazing that this incredibly powerful machine is run by these incompetent boobs.
Even like behind the scenes like Soros, the guy who giggles about working for the Nazis and then tries to cancel people who mention it, even though he put it in his own fucking book.
Klaus Schwab with his ridiculous Star Trek uniforms.
I mean, even the behind the scenes guys suck.
Barack Obama, who thinks there should be no guns at all in the world?
Michelle Obama, who writes a book about herself called Becoming Michelle.
I mean, it's pretty amazing the absolute buffoonery that permeates this national divorce.
And it's also amazing how the left have been so fucking brainwashed.
And they keep fucking up.
Like the January 6th committee was a complete failure.
If anything, it brought people to our side.
You see some blue-hair tattooist with a punk shirt on say that he heard someone deny the Holocaust and that's why he left the Oath Keepers.
What?
We've got some redneck who goes, I might be over the idea that the election was stolen.
Maybe.
And then you got Nick, our buddy Nick, the filmmaker, saying it was violent.
It was terrible.
Some female cop lying, saying that she was doing hand-to-hand combat for hours.
Remember that her friend too, that black dude, who said, let's get that fucking...
Yeah.
Zero footage of it.
I mean, these are imbeciles.
We're being dominated.
This Banana Republic is being dominated by fucking idiots.
At least Banana Republic, the guy who owns the banana company, knows shit.
Can speak the language.
Speaking of Klaus Schwab, did you know that his father, even in this article that tries to disprove his father was working with the Nazi Germans, Klaus Schwab's father, on the other hand, Eugene, the history of Eugene's relationship with Nazism in general is complex.
Oh, that's code.
That's a red flag.
That's substantive evidence to ties of high-ranking German league.
Oh, okay.
Particularly Hitler.
Wow, that is.
Yeah, they always say it's complicated.
It's complicated.
Like, some Proud Boys are black.
Yes.
White supremacy is complicated.
Oh, Gavin McInnes' wife is Native American?
Well, yeah, it's complicated.
And then they don't explain why.
They just say it's complicated.
It's not.
You're full of shit.
Anyway, let's get to the mailbag.
All right.
All right.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dead.
Let's turn the priest together.
Let me touch it.
You know, if you did abandon your family, I think I would have to fire you.
Of course.
But that's weird.
I couldn't work here and then abandon them.
I would be in New York still.
Yeah.
You just wouldn't.
You'd say, we don't get along.
Yeah, you'd be paying for it.
And then I'd be like, well, when did you last see your kid?
I got messed up last weekend.
I'm probably going to see her next weekend.
It was complex.
And it's fucked up.
Like an employer, it's none of my business what you do with your private life.
But I just wouldn't be able to look at you and I wouldn't be able to relax.
Yeah, no, that's true.
I'd feel this disdain.
That's what pissed me off when they said Anthony beats his girlfriends.
It's like, do you think I would hang out with someone who beat their wife or their girlfriends?
No.
I will not leave my family.
What?
I will not leave my family.
Daphne liked our bunny.
Oh, my God, yeah.
While I was away, we have a bunny named, it was Josiah, but my youngest doesn't like that name, so now it's Josie.
I have a cute, cute video, but I don't want to show the inside of your kid's room.
That's weird.
But she was so, so happy about the bunny.
Isn't it fucking weird how little kids love little animals, and particularly stuffed animals?
Oh, yeah.
Why do they like stuffed animals so much?
Like my nine-year-old, he has his stuffies.
They all get delegated days.
They all have names.
He doesn't think they're real.
He's like, nine is old.
So it's not like he thinks they have feelings or anything.
But he positions them by his bed so they can all see and stuff like that.
Here's my theory.
Theory number 364.
I think it's genetic.
I think it's cave-based.
And just like we like being around water, because historically, if you're near water, you're probably not going to die.
So that's why beachfront is popular.
And we like to have a creek running through our backyard because water, in the back of your mind, your pituitary gland goes, we're safe, this is good.
Similarly, little kids, if they're around small game, like bunnies and little bear cubs, not a good example, but little animals, that means that, well, first it means that the cave is thriving and you're doing well,
but it also means you're not going to starve.
Yeah.
Because there's small game for the mom to hit with a slingshot and eat.
So it means you're safe.
I guess it also means, you know, you have domesticated animals, maybe early dogs, and then there's puppies around, and that means that, you know, your tribe is multiplying and being fruitful.
That's a pretty good theory.
Theor?
Yeah.
If you don't want to say theory, it's short.
Um.
What's this here?
Okay.
Oh, people talking about the things we've already covered.
This was my lovey.
That was your stuffy when you were a kid?
My stuffy.
What is it?
I don't know what happened to it.
It's a boxer pillow fighter.
They had a whole bunch of different types, and mine was this boxer boy.
And are you supposed to use it for pillow fights?
Yeah, you would like...
You could.
I mean, I never really hit anybody with him, but I would just hang out with him.
Huh.
It's my friend.
My boy, my eldest boy, was obsessed with Woody from Toy Story, and he carried him everywhere.
And then he left him in a taxi in Glasgow.
Oh, shit.
And he said, what happened?
Where's Woody?
And we said, oh, he had to go get cleaned.
And we just bought him a new one, but they were really hard to find back then.
So we had to wait till we got back to the States.
We bought him one at a Toys R Us.
And then you pulled his back, and he was saying different shit.
Whoa.
He used to say like, howdy, partner?
And then this particular doll said different shit.
And he goes, why is he saying different stuff?
And we go, they cleaned his voice box.
There's a snake in my boot.
Yeah, yeah, he would say that.
How did you know that?
That movie ruled.
Yeah, but how do you know?
I remember all of those things.
He says, you're my favorite deputy.
He's like, somebody poisoned the water hole.
There's a snake in my boot.
How did you know that he says there's a snake in my boot?
Did you have that fucking toy, Ryan?
It's in the movie.
All of a sudden, they came from the movie.
And I remember the movie.
I also remember Goodfellas.
He's like, oh, what are you fucking, oh, whoa.
So, I remember adult movies just as well.
I'm scared you had a toy at the age of like 15.
No, I had a Woody Toy, but I was young.
I had it like it was a marionette puppet.
How old were you when Toy Story came out?
What year did it come out?
Let's see.
If it's post-puberty.
What year did Toy Story 1 come out?
Toy Story was released in 1996.
Okay, that's fine.
This one is just called Thoughts, and it is a severely handicapped and unattractive fat black woman whose legs are stubs and a seemingly healthy six-foot-tall white man who looks gainfully employed and probably has a lot going on.
Okay, and clicking.
So what do his friends think?
I mean, part of marriage, whether you like it or not, is impressing your friends.
And you want your friends to be like, holy shit, lucky bastard.
He really nailed one.
But how did she get him?
14 questions for couples.
Where is your leg?
Who is the better dancer?
Who is the better cook?
Who is more affectionate?
Who is more likely to get arrested?
Who is more?
Well, statistically.
So they got tons of kids, and she has trouble giving birth, obviously.
Oh, man.
So they're like, hey, we made it through the third trimester.
Just walks on her little stubs.
Isn't that weird?
It's got to be cool you could just give your mom a hug without any like hey man wait till you see my my new wife I'm gonna bring her over okay and then she shows up at the door all right hi hey do you guys want anything like divorce papers a step stool legs not a trampoline I wonder if she puts things on her stubs like little leather pads Neo why didn't you ring the doorbell?
Why'd you insist on knocking?
Okay, so my thoughts are you could do better, sir.
And ma'am, good job.
Yeah, ma'am, I'm impressed.
Like, there's a lot of lonely ladies out there, and you managed to get a, I mean, he's kind of old, but he looks like a successful contractor.
He's like a strong dude.
Yeah.
What were they thinking?
Was she always this ugly?
Oh, that's interesting.
If she lost her legs while they were together, you stick together.
Yeah, that's cool then.
You stand by your woman after she's paralyzed.
She doesn't really stand by her man as much.
When he first started dating her, his friends must have been like, hey, man, everything okay?
Do you want some money or something?
All right.
Very odd, John Taffervid.
You know, we have John Taffer here.
We do have him on the show.
Beer Day, I want to show you guys what happens when you pour a beer incorrectly.
You see, rookies who pour a beer pour it really slowly because they're scared it's going to foam up.
So they pour it really slow in the glass.
True.
And they serve the beer that way.
But a bartender who's in a hurry, who really knows the proper way of pouring a beer, will pour that beer much faster and fill the glass that way.
It's way too much head.
Which is better.
You see, when you pour a glass incorrectly, this is what happens in the stomach.
This beer was poured so easily, the gas is still in the beer.
In your stomach, this is what happens.
But when the beer is poured correctly and the gases are allowed to dissipate, look at what happens.
Which beer would you drink?
The one that bloats you or the one that doesn't?
Pour your beers right.
Wasn't it a weird video?
I think I'm right.
I mean, I've seen so many people pour drinks that give you salmonella.
And we're sitting in the car outside with a chick with blue hair and four nose rings, and then we have to Go shut it down, right?
Wait, why can't I see your face?
I'm loading up my camera.
Oh.
I have very good technology.
Yeah, but he might be right.
I've never heard of that before, but I don't want to be sitting there.
How long do I got to wait to drink that beer?
That's true.
Not only is it faster, it helps your gastrointestinal tract get used to the bubbles, so that way you're not bubblegut McGillicuddy walking around with farts.
What's that on your mouth?
This is my new invention called the lens reset.
So if your lens is ever askew, you can reset it.
Let's see, how do we get rid of that?
Why don't you shut that down?
I'm going to try to shut it shut down.
Okay.
Buya, nigga, motherfuckers.
By the way, people always ask why I say the N-word in a funny way, like I'm some sort of chicken.
I do it so when they make a montage, like they did to Joe Rogan and me, it'll sound funny.
Buya niga means I don't want that thing in Mandarin.
So this is about Brittany Grinier, and I agree with this dude.
I have a hunch about this bitch, and I'm totally pulling it out of my ass, but let's see if I'm right when it's time.
One, it's a dude with a dick, not a big one.
Two, Russians know he's a dude.
Three, he is ludicrously dumb, not only because he decided to smuggle weed through Moscow's international airport.
So does any of his teammates know?
Surely they shower together.
Maybe he just doesn't shower.
I think he's a dude.
I believe he's a dude.
And I think I read somewhere that Russia is demanding a DNA sample to make sure he goes to the right prison.
I saw that.
Then this guy goes on to say he wears thieves' star tattoos on his shoulders, which is a big deal because those are what Russian criminals wear and you have to earn them.
It's like, and if you do have them, you get a lot of respect because you've earned your thieves' stars.
But he obviously hasn't earned them.
So he's going to get the shit kicked out of him.
There they go.
DNA test to determine whether Grenier is male or female.
I don't care about him anymore.
Especially when I saw who they were trying to exchange him for.
Toronto Perv Police.
I have a quick question.
Is she like really, really good?
Like at basketball compared to the other females?
You know, because they're usually not so good.
I'll see if I can look up highlights in the meantime.
Yeah, is he like one of the top dunkers?
He's the only chick that can dunk in the NBA.
But you could hold back.
I mean, if you're so good, you can hold back.
They've got to lower that net for these chicks.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why not?
What has there been?
Like seven WNBA women who can dunk in the entire history of the NBA?
I think there's been, remember we showed the numbers?
There's been like 100 dunks.
Meanwhile, in the male NBA, there's like 2,000 per player per season or some shit.
I don't watch basketball.
My Mets bet is on fire, by the way.
I'm at $1,600.
We went to...
What's the matter?
No way.
Holy shit.
Fuck, that's...
That's...
The best female player in the NBA is a dude.
WNBA.
Oh, man.
That is fucking funny.
Then they had this guy on the court.
I don't know if you saw him.
Dunking left and right.
Wow.
Yeah, look at the way he runs.
It looks different.
He looks different from.
He totally looks different.
Let's fucking go.
Screaming.
Have you noticed through these trannies?
Whenever you threaten them, they're like, I'll fucking put you in the hospital so fucking fast.
You messed with me.
You're messing with the...
You mess with the bull, you get the horns.
You go, ah, that's not what ladies do when they're mad.
I posted on Getter a picture of the London police with two fetish sickos.
And I said, what is it with British police and their obsession with gay admiration?
Like cop cars that are rainbow colored and posing in pictures and letting homos twerk on them and stuff.
It's really weird.
I mean, you'd think black recognition would be more important for them.
I mean, that's who's represented in the crime stats.
So you'd want to be friends with blacks and reach out to blacks more so everyone would be safer.
But gays, why do you fucking care?
Look, I looked this up.
Tallest WNBA players.
Zuma, that's the headline picture.
Oh my me.
I mean, she's not the tallest.
That freak of nature, which looks, you know, absurd.
That could be at the circus.
Yes.
That also looks absurd, like a freak.
Then you got just regular old guy.
Regular tall dude.
So besides the actual circus people, third six, nine, almost seven feet.
And then what's the other one?
That's why he wasn't so upset about going to jail because he was just going to fuck endless pussy.
Anyway, so someone sent in something saying, no, it's not just Britain.
Check out Canada.
They're also obsessed with this.
This is called Toronto Perv Police.
It's such a weird thing to want to be associated with.
Maybe it's because this affirmative action has made most cops, that's really dark, most cops like gays themselves.
And when you take the balls away, yeah, that looks better.
You take the balls away from a police department, you're going to end up attracting loser weirdos, degenerates, and women.
Galore.
You didn't show both pictures.
There's the other fat guys.
They're like puppy guys.
Why are they so fat?
At least the British gay fetishists are in shape.
Imagine hanging out with those guys and talking to them about Trump.
They love Batman.
There's no way they don't.
Can't prove it.
And this one's just called Feds.
It's a picture of an undercover policeman.
Kind of on topic today.
Yeah, guys, we can tell.
Not convincing.
I'm a lady.
Nigga, what the fuck?
Brittany Griner ass.
Okay, then there's the liquor store owner.
I mean, this is ancient Chinese secret, but on the off chance we didn't play it.
Have we shown this yet?
No.
It was everywhere last week.
I didn't get around to it.
Strategically tucked behind the counter, Cope whipped out his hidden shotgun and blasted the suspect in the arm.
As the man took off, another camera captured this.
The suspects, after nearly leaving one of their own behind, sped off in a black BMW X-3.
It's hard to tell.
He shot my arm up.
Speaking of that, did you see the Vegas Vape Shop one?
No, the guy stabbing?
Yeah, the Vegas Vape Shop.
And he stabbed the guy that jumped across the...
Yeah.
You know, Anthony and his buddy FBI Vinny were kind of debating on whether that was going to be self-defense or not.
Vinny FBI says no.
He's going to have a hard time in court saying that that was self-defense that you could actually use.
Anthony was like, well, when you're masked and you jump across the counter, anything could happen.
But then again, Vinny's from the FBI, was a lawyer.
And he's going to show it.
Because there's one of the stabs.
He seems to sever his spine.
I heard the guy's doing okay.
Okay.
But they're all like, owie, owie.
And then one is, oh, and I think he said, you can hear him go, I'm dead.
Yeah, it's pretty.
It's in the notes.
It's 6'5.
Gotcha.
Yeah, I got pretty grossed out hearing a guy be like, I'm dead.
I'm dead.
Like, that's so...
I've watched this 9,000 times.
I never saw him get his knife.
It's to the right of his.
I think that might be the handle right there.
Oh, no, no, no.
Like, before this, there's a longer video where it's right next to his register.
Has that got sound?
Okay.
Oh, stop me!
I'm dead!
I'm dead!
I wish they had the full video because then he like throws him at the door, basically.
Great example of why you should not wear flip-flops.
He was wearing flip-flops, fighting for his life.
Oh, in that case.
Okay, last one.
Small town police department disbanded for joke.
So first article, NSFW, guys, you're about to hear a racist joke and you're going to have nightmares all night.
It's horrific.
Oh, God.
So this police captain, police chief, texted someone, what do y'all call a pregnant slave?
BOGO.
Buy one, get one free.
That is terrible.
It's a really good joke, and it's structured well.
You know?
And, like, why is that racist?
I love how the guy really was, I think it might be, this guy's in trouble for, like, question mark is normal.
You're like, all right, what do you want, Steve?
And then the double question mark, no, really.
What is it?
Oh, you know what happened?
I met Sylvia the other day.
She was out trying to find a cigarette on the street in her nightgown.
And she goes, I can't see my husband.
He's never around.
The police won't let him near me because they say he hits me.
It's none of their business what he does to me.
I never called the cops on him, but he's scared.
And she goes, the new Rochelle Police Department, that's where she used to live.
Mr. Bulla's there.
They're fucking pigs.
I hate their guts.
So I call my buddy in the NRPD and I'm like, hey, Sylvia has a message for you.
And she's like, fuck you.
You ruined my life, you fucking pigs.
And I'm like, you guys suck.
And then she's like, they're NYPD rejects.
That's what they are.
And I'm like, yeah, you guys couldn't make it in the NYPD.
And the guy knew her.
No.
He goes, oh shit, Sylvia's there.
She's still alive.
Holy crap.
He goes, I arrested her husband a lot of times.
Wow.
Her husband did not like the blacks.
Her husband was Dominican, and some black gangsters killed his son.
And he was just a horrible, violent drunk who Sylvia wants back.
She might be here Thursday.
She said she'll do it for cigarettes.
If she has cigarettes, she'll die.
And someone, she managed, I said, no, I'm not buying you any, but she managed to scrounge one from this other old lady, the one I told you about at the beginning of the show, who said, was pissed off about Trump having notes in the toilet.
And she had two puffs, and she goes, Gavin, I got to sit down.
I got my head spinning in a million.
I said, sill, you're not supposed to smoke.
I had two drags.
Yeah, and now you feel like shit and have to sit down.
Oh, yeah.
Some of these people, what are you going to do?
I remember when we'd be feeding for a cigarette like all day, me and my loser friends.
And then when you finally get a cigarette, it's like six hours later.
And you just take one puff and you want to smoke the whole thing because you just miss cigarettes.
You take one puff and you're just so dizzy.
And you have to sit down and vomit if you can.
Maybe not vomit.
I have never understood smoking.
Like if the first time you try it, it's delicious.
I understand that.
But you have to, what, smoke a pack before you can learn?
Yeah, it took like months for me to like cigarettes.
Why?
I don't know.
So the next link is the bitches were successful.
Vincent's final police officer resigns from department.
Vincent has no police officers on the force tonight after both the chief and assistant chief were suspended following a racist text allegation, and the one remaining officer resigned.
So, our Lauren Harkson tonight has been following this story.
So, Lauren, where can you be?
Well, Catherine, while we could audibly tell last night at the city council meeting that several residents were glad to hear the Vincent police chief and assistant police chief were on suspension, the latest news is a completely different story.
I spoke with Vincent Mayor James Latimer earlier today, and he did confirm the final officer remaining in the department termed in his resignation via text message overnight.
Now, yesterday, the city council voted to pursue dissolving the police department entirely, but in the meantime, that one officer was appointed as interim chief.
Of course, that only lasted a few hours.
We spoke with Tina Franklin, who moved to Vincent in 2013, and she was disappointed to find out the news.
We were already rallying to make sure he stayed in place.
So we want him there.
He needs to represent us because we don't want to back down off of somebody and say, we left you out in the fire to burn.
We want him to know that he has our support here.
Wait, so the black people aren't even offended?
Whoa.
Who's offended?
Whoa.
By the way, it could have been a white slave.
Right.
We've had lots.
It could have been a Slav, the original slaves.
What a shitty logo.
It has a moire built into it.
Who designed your shit?
But wait a minute.
That reminds me of another article.
This woman, she submitted a white privilege card.
Where's that in the notes?
Yeah, 4-4.
She gets pulled over.
They ask to see her ID.
The police do.
She hands them a white privilege card.
And the Daily Beast is furious.
It works?
Yeah.
They laughed.
They laughed.
Like, in both of these stories, it's verboten for the police to enjoy themselves.
Right.
No.
No joking around for you.
The most stressful job in the world.
You have a gun pointed at the back of your head 24 hours a day.
You don't know if you're going to make it home.
And you're not allowed to let off some steam with a joke.
So this is above the law.
Like, this is why I hate the left.
They're anti-fun.
Some woman makes a joke.
A cop lets it roll off his back.
He gives her a nudge, nudge, wink, wink.
And they both go on with their fun day here in Funland.
Not acceptable says, what's his name?
Dan Layden Hall?
Is that the author's name?
Yep.
Always look up the authors, guys.
Wait, Dan Layden Hall, and that's Daily Beast?
Did anybody step on him?
I wonder if he's gay.
Because if Dan Layden Hall, I mean, there's lots of foot traffic.
They never have pictures.
Even Will Summers, like, he's got one picture.
Isn't that weird?
All of these writers?
Well, they work hard to get themselves off, but The Daily Beast has a picture of him.
And here he is on Twitter.
He's got to be gay.
He's got a gay face.
Ah, he's British.
Oh, no.
How can he not be gay?
Sorry, that guy's gay.
Look at his face.
That's a gay face.
He looks like Anthony Jeslinik, except, you know, miscarriages and cancer.
Except gay.
Except gay.
Alright, let's get to the final vid.
I agree.
Let's do 5'9.
This ridiculously talented man does OnlyFans version of Seinfeld, and it is out of the park.
Quality.
So she has an OnlyFans.
I mean, what's the big deal?
Jeremy, I should be her OnlyFan.
Well, it sounds to me like you're a smut, Jamie.
No, no, I'm post-slut, Jeremy.
You know, I'm post-sleut.
Pro-slut?
Pro-slut?
You understand why everyone gets to see her naked when I'm still stuck in the first place?
You know I'm having an only fans.
You have an only pants?
You ain't paying.
You ain't playing.
That's the thing.
I'm paying.
I'm going for a meal.
A meal, Jappy.
A bacon egg and cheese is not a meal.
Dash.
All right, so she has an old.
What do you think as a fellow mimic?
I think my buddy Jason Scoop has a better Kramer, but that was really well done.
Yeah.
Quality.
All right, folks, so we are a nation in decline.
That is a fact.
We are living in a third world where the lunatics are running the asylum and the blind are leading the blind.
It's an absolute ship of fools.
Every colloquialism under the book.
In the book?
Under the sun?
But there is hope for this nation.
We've been through worse before.
We'll get him in the midterms.
We'll get him in 2024.
In the interim, this war on Trump is a war on you.
That's who they're really out to get.
Trump is just standing in the way.
And it looks like they're about to get him out of the way.
So you're next.
And what is the solution when you're next and your own government is out to get you?