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July 15, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:42:55

S4E142 - BIG JUICY BOOTY

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Time	Text
	From New York, it's Get Off My One with Devil McGuinness.
	Here it comes.
	You're a Bad Man.
	That was a Cockney Rejax from East London.
	Big fans of West Ham, obviously, right?
	What are you going to knock like West Ham if you're from fucking East London?
	And that was the song Bad Man, their number one hit.
	They've also got I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles.
	My second favourite jam from Cockney Reject is, I'm not so ignorant.
	I'm not a fool.
	I think Crass sort of copied that with I Ain't Thick.
	It's just a trick.
	I was going to play the Simps.
	Consider that one to academic geezers making.
	Sim?
	What's going on for your fucking face, mate?
	I think it's like a Mexican and a trans.
	Jump in the middle.
	Very different vibe, right?
	From Badman.
	And then the other song I was considering, Peggy Lee.
	I remember when I was a little girl, our house got on fire.
	I'll never forget the look on my daddy's face as he gathered me up in his arms and raced through the burning building out on the pavement.
	And I stood there, shivering in my pajamas, watched the whole world roll through the flames.
	And when it was all over, I said to myself, Is that all there is to a fire?
	Is that all there is?
	Is that all there is?
	I think a fire would be a blessing in my home.
	We have so much shit.
	You know, when I met my wife, she said, I should warn you.
	There might be some threesomes going down.
	I was like, you want to get married?
	Guess how many threesomes we've had?
	Four.
	A little lower.
	Three.
	That's a little bit lower.
	Okay, I'm confident it's two, which is not a lot.
	Just go down, just go down two more.
	Well, that wouldn't make sense.
	That would be zero.
	Zero threesomes.
	We have not been drowning in my wife bringing hot chicks home.
	That's not a thing.
	That was bullshit.
	We do have every drawer in the house so stuffed full of shit that I can't open them.
	I was promised a whore.
	I got a hoarder.
	And you know what's worse?
	I open a drawer, it's so packed that the shit falls behind and goes down.
	You know how hard it is to get that shit?
	Impossible.
	You break your arm twisting down there, or you remove the whole drawer, which is, at best, incredibly hard.
	Those ones with the ball bearings, good luck getting those drawers out.
	And my fucking daughter's doing it now.
	It's genetic.
	Every drawer, from the Tupperware drawer to the dish towels, to every fucking drawer in the bathroom, gun, gun, gun, gun, gun, gun.
	And I start, I'm losing it.
	And here's something you should know about marriage.
	The fight you have in your first week, you're going to be having for decades.
	I yelled about overstuffed drawers 20 years ago.
	And yesterday, I'm like, fucking goddammit!
	What are you going to say?
	No threesomes.
	They're consomes.
	They're con women to get you to marry them, you know?
	You know why the term is con man?
	Why?
	Because they don't have to specify when it's a woman.
	It's implied.
	Fucking shit.
	Really important, groundbreaking news I got from the sun.
	You're not going to believe this.
	I'm jealous that we didn't catch this first, but they got it.
	Are you ready for this?
	It's a little annoying, isn't it?
	I think it's because it's the thin line, so every wrinkle is exaggerated.
	Thin line.
	You're not going to believe this.
	Holy shit.
	You may have to rewind it and watch it a few times.
	Gotcha.
	But major flub on The View.
	Oh, no.
	Look at the headline first.
	GMA's Ginger Z. So Good Morning America's Ginger Z. Co-host The View makes this flub.
	It's a mess.
	You're going to shit your pants.
	You ready for this?
	I can't wait.
	So you, speaking of books, you just released the paperback version of Please Don't Sit on My Bed with Your Outdoor Clothes.
	That title means so much to so many people.
	In my house, when I was dating my husband, he taught me.
	Wait, it didn't happen yet.
	The book title is in your outside clothes.
	Not with your outdoor clothes.
	What a dumb bitch.
	I mean, we make fun of Joe Biden, but that is wow.
	She's probably fired.
	Oh, yeah.
	I think she should be stabbed.
	Yeah.
	In the eyes.
	I'm preparing myself to forgive you.
	No way.
	We will never.
	I don't care what the media does.
	I don't care what anyone in this country does.
	This is Ginger Z's last day.
	You know, all the lefties are pro Kyle Rittenhouse now because he came out with a statement.
	If I catch any of you fuckers alone, I'm going to fucking kill you.
	And they're all for it.
	Yeah.
	They think it's an appropriate.
	No, she should be killed.
	Yes.
	She should be harassed.
	In her outside clothes, of course.
	Yeah.
	It's please don't sit on my bed in your outside clothes.
	Now, does she apologize and catch it?
	By the way, just off the record, that's a fucking gay sentiment.
	It's stupid.
	Who cares?
	Is there mud all over your coat?
	And no one sits on your bed with their coat on.
	And how many people are coming by and fucking you, by the way?
	Are you a whore?
	You have to tell a lot of people about your bed?
	You should have one person in your bed.
	In my threesome marriage, there's only two people in the bed.
	Now, what a fucking gym.
	She's probably just really like...
	She doesn't want to speak up because there's a bunch of white women and we're living in a racist nation.
	Poor girl is probably.
	That's the kind of abuse they take.
	I'm not going to say none.
	You know what?
	I'm going to do a thing on the suburbs in a second.
	But I was thinking the terror that my family has gone through because I'm a Trump supporter and the Proud Boys guy is worse than what everything I hear blacks complaining about.
	Like every time you hear a black complaining, well, there's the myth of cops shooting them.
	But outside of that, it's like, they touched my hair and they said it was bouncy.
	When they asked me, am I like rap?
	They assumed I was good at basketball.
	I'm like, really?
	Was your house vandalized several times and your car and your children ostasized and you're yelled at on the street and people Zeke Heil when they see you?
	Did you try that out?
	I lived the life of a mixed race couple in the 50s in a white neighborhood.
	And good.
	That's what we should do to racists.
	Make them live the life that our black brothers lived half a century ago.
	Also in the silly news, I love seeing this.
	So corporations got woke and now they're going broke because they chose the wrong side.
	And what did we say?
	When everyone was going like BLM and Antifa and peaceful protests, we're like, that's the wrong side.
	Guys, the BLM, they're just going to buy mansions with your money and fuck you over.
	They don't care about you.
	That's not going to a black college fund.
	Oh, and Antifa, they're just going to keep wrecking shit.
	Like, you can't be their friends.
	They want to burn the country to the ground.
	They don't want to slightly change or improve the system.
	They want a reduction of systems to zero.
	They want Mad Max rubble.
	They're dying.
	It's a suicide mission they're on, and they want to take you down.
	We got this.
	Thank you.
	We're having Pride Month and fucking oppression month.
	And look at this before and after picture of Starbucks.
	Go to the first one.
	This is the...
	We witnessed many protests over the course of last summer in our hometown of Seattle.
	The Black Lives Matter protests, which were overwhelmingly peaceful, sought to protest systemic racism and acts of police brutality, you guys.
	Leads to?
	Hey, so yeah, Starbucks announced Monday it will close five high-incident stores in Seattle and one in Everett will remain closed due to ongoing crime concerns.
	And I think I know why.
	And you know what's funny about these Starbucks thing?
	I saw a clip, maybe you can find it, of, I don't know, the CEO of Starbucks.
	And they're closing them down, even though they're profitable, because homeless people are doing heroin in the bathroom.
	And the owners or whatever you call it, I don't think you can own a Starbucks.
	You have to lease it.
	The people that are in charge of those particular branches are going, I don't feel safe coming to work.
	And I'm worried about my employees getting stabbed.
	And you can't have a baby there with some junkie with his pants down standing next to him scratching himself.
	So they're shutting down profitable things.
	Told you so.
	Warned you, but you didn't listen.
	The Prowl boys tried to beat up Antifa.
	We tried to clean up the streets, but you said you threw us in jail.
	Okay.
	Speaking of jail.
	He says America has become unsafe.
	Oh.
	Really?
	But is it mostly peaceful?
	Yeah, that's the guy.
	And I don't have to spend too much time on what's going on in the country and how America has become unsafe.
	But you all read the press release the last couple of days about the fact that we are beginning to close stores that are not unprofitable.
	But we're closing stores as a result of the co-creation sessions that we've had.
	Almost 60 now, 25 in the SSC and the rest in the field.
	We had one yesterday in San Antonio.
	But in all of those sessions, it has shocked me that one of the primary concerns that our retail partners have is their own personal safety.
	He's so move.
	We don't know what he's planning.
	So Proud Boys fought Antifa, and they were thrown in jail.
	Speaking of Proud Boys in jail, we have a new Give Send Go for Joe Biggs.
	Put that up there.
	SSG Biggs Defense Fund.
	So how do you find that, Ryan?
	Givesendgo.com slash SGBDF.
	Biggs Defense Fund.
	SSGBDF.
	Give send go.
	It's probably easy to look up once you get to Give Send Go.
	That's correct.
	And we've got $110 in there.
	Dan Hall is handling it.
	I talk to him on a regular basis.
	He looks like Paul McCartney.
	And I know there's a lot of viewers who go, no, Joe Biggs fucked up.
	He shouldn't have gone.
	Okay.
	Should he be in jail for a year?
	Oh, cool.
	Randaza.
	Should he be in solitary confinement for a year?
	No matter how, like, let's take the very worst case scenario that Joe Biggs, I'm not doing the insurrection.
	That's not a worst case.
	That's a lunatic case.
	But he shouldn't have gone in there.
	Vandalism.
	Fuck him.
	Bastard.
	All right.
	Fuck it.
	I'm going to be in a really bad mood.
	The gavel, Gavin's gavel comes down.
	Fucking $1,000 fine.
	Fucking week in jail.
	That's me at my meanest I can muster.
	No, tens of thousands of dollars.
	I think he owes his lawyer like a million bucks, but his lawyer's not taking it.
	And it's a year and a half of solitary confinement, him and Ethan Nordine.
	And we just had AOC admit that the Capitol Police let them in.
	Not That we're taking that angle.
	The angle is Joe Biggs did something wrong and we've overdone it.
	Not it was Antifa or it was the FBI.
	But she admitted.
	She said, her angle is that the Capitol Police are Trump supporters.
	That's a weird twist.
	These insurrectionists?
	Like Antifa?
	And that there were actual officers working with this and we never got to the bottom of that and we never got any answers about that.
	And then to this day, we're just supposed to pretend that that never happened.
	I have no idea what happened to the people on the inside who were very clearly sympathetic with what was going on and opening the doors right over here.
	And we're supposed to sit here and pretend like none of that ever happened.
	And then right afterwards, you have a massive, you know, you just have this idea that throwing money at that problem.
	Isn't that funny?
	We're in bed with AOC.
	We said the government was involved in that, and she's saying it too.
	Yeah.
	And it's not just about the Congress not being safe.
	Let's get together, AOC.
	Speaking of get together, we've got fucking Alex Stein, prime time Stein, complimenting AOC's gorgeous ass.
	Oh, yes.
	I'm going to hold off on judgment on her ass.
	I have not seen it in a normal way.
	It might suck.
	It might be worse than Lizzo's.
	Can you imagine a worse ass than Lizzo's?
	No.
	It's the Toronto Burke of asses.
	You know what's...
	And Toronto Burke's face is the ass of faces.
	Lizzo's ass is literally not better than nothing.
	Like, I dated a few rice balls in my day, and I did this one girl, Jackie Toe.
	She had zero ass.
	Zero.
	And I was like, well, we can work around it.
	I couldn't work around Lizzo's ass.
	No, physically, no, you couldn't.
	It would take you a long time.
	She is fucking hideous and proud of it.
	Yikes.
	Go to 1-6.
	Can you get Alex Stein on the line?
	Yeah, I can drive her on DC right now.
	See, my favorite big booty Latina.
	I love you, AOC.
	You're my favorite.
	She wants to kill babies, but she's still beautiful.
	You look very beautiful in that dress.
	You look very sexy.
	Look at that booty on AOC.
	That's my favorite big booty Latina.
	Look at you, little selfie.
	I love it.
	My favorite AOC.
	Nice to meet you, AOC.
	Look at that dress.
	Ooh, I love it, AOC.
	Hot, hot, hot, like a tamale.
	So look, she's having fun with it.
	And then she's like, she does a peace sign.
	Haha, you're not phasing me.
	And then she goes, oh, wait, my whole brand is that I'm phased.
	And I thought I was going to die in the insurrection.
	And I go to the border wall and I start crying.
	So now I got to change from the peace to like, where were the police?
	Where were the police disappearing me from this?
	Does she post her version of it?
	Go up or down?
	She posts a video.
	Oh, do you have the video where she's got him in the background?
	Oh, let me see a hero.
	Oh, you just have the drop from that, right?
	Yeah.
	What's 1-7 if you can't find it?
	Because he's, while she's going, this just happened.
	I was basically raped.
	He's in the background going, hey.
	Yeah, yeah.
	That's very fun.
	And then they canceled his comedy show, and he had a big party on the steps.
	Oh, there's this one, yeah.
	Look at that big ass.
	Look at that big, juicy booty.
	Look at that big ass.
	She's looking right at her ass.
	And go to 1-8.
	She says it was a living hell.
	Can you imagine Alex Stein complimenting you?
	She should be mad about the part where he accused her of killing babies.
	That's not offensive.
	So being called a baby killer is a compliment.
	And being told you have a great ass.
	Yeah, that's him.
	Hey, everybody.
	I'm here in the Capitol.
	See this guy right there?
	Right there.
	When I was walking up, he said, hey, right in front of the Capitol police officer.
	Hey.
	This could be our next president.
	Here's this.
	Look at that big ass.
	Look at that big, juicy booty.
	This Latina, like, whatever.
	You know, all the bunch of racist, sexist stuff.
	And since...
	It's racist?
	Nobody can do anything.
	I'm just telling you.
	With your boyfriend?
	Because.
	Yeah.
	Your boyfriend, your husband, your fiancé should do something.
	People.
	So what should the police do?
	Tackle him?
	And it's really hard and it's really sad.
	I can't wait to talk about it.
	She said it was 1-9 deeply disgusting.
	I posted about a deeply disgusting incident that happened today on the Capitol Steps, but took it down because it's clearly someone seeking extremist fame.
	Her ass, she hates her ass so much that if you say it's a nice ass, you're an extremist.
	Ayo, I think you have a fantastic ass.
	And I'm an ass snob.
	And a snob.
	Asnob.
	I'm on the Asnov Battalion.
	Asnob.
	Asnob Battalion.
	What's 2-0?
	The Buttalion, excuse me.
	1-0?
	I'm really surprised this went so viral.
	It's like the biggest story in the country.
	Hey, nice ass.
	No sympathy.
	AOC Blast.
	Oh, this is funny.
	People are making fun of her.
	AOC blasted for complaining about harassment, though she belittled Kavanaugh's harassment.
	Yeah, she said that was...
	What did she say about Kavanaugh?
	That was like, there's nothing more American than protesting.
	Go down a bit.
	You may have to hit continue.
	Poor guy, he left before his souffle because he decided half the country should risk death if they have an ectopic pregnancy within the wrong state lines.
	It's all very unfair to him.
	The least they could do is let him eat cake.
	And you know what's funny about that?
	That was like three days ago.
	It's not like they're dredging up some five-year-old tweet where she said she was okay with harassment.
	No, you were okay with harassment three days ago.
	And lastly, we got Marjorie Taylor Green.
	God, she's a fucking badass.
	She comes to AFPAC.
	She works with Milo.
	She has Alex Stein on after this.
	I guarantee you, all her press people were like, stay away from Alex Stein.
	This is too hot.
	This is too hot.
	I think she might have me on.
	Maybe I could get her on this show.
	I'm going to try.
	Let's see.
	Marjorie Taylor Green hosted the guy who made lewd comics radios and suggested she should be grateful for the attention.
	Wait, look at this great report on Flapper.
	AOC's bum is clearly Latinx.
	Yes.
	But is it big or juicy?
	An investigative report.
	Oh, I like this kind of journalism.
	And they go into detail here.
	Okay, so after hours of research, big and juicy.
	That's reasonable.
	Utilizing some of the sophisticated computer analysis, we're sad to report AOC's Bolshevik backside is not, in fact, big.
	Well, hold on a sec.
	Asses change over time.
	So those pictures are from like a couple years ago.
	I think she's gotten a bigger ass from sitting on it all the time, spending taxpayers' dollars on fucking iced coffees.
	All right, have you got Alex Stein on the line?
	Alex Stein, 99 on the Leezy La Lai line.
	Here, we hit it.
	Primetime Stein, are you there, sir?
	I'm on the ground all the time, David.
	I'm in DC, the belly of the beast, the swamp.
	This place is insane in the membrane.
	I'm not just saying that.
	I feel like I'm in some sort of Illuminati piss ritual where everybody's trying to urinate on me in order to gain clout.
	So do you think this is your most viral moment?
	Well, of course, dude.
	And it's totally unexpected because if you think about what happened, this is what people don't realize.
	A lot of the conservative side are getting mad.
	They're like, Alex, why would you say that perverted thing?
	AOC constantly victimizes or plays the victim and says that people only dislike her because they want to date her.
	So I called this out before I came here.
	I said, if I'm going to see AOC, I'm going to sexualize her because I want to give her concrete evidence of sexualization, knowing that she couldn't ignore it.
	But the idea that she was going to make 10 selfie videos about it on Instagram, do a freaking Instagram survey about it, and blow this up to the biggest story of the week, I had no idea.
	I mean, that was gangbusters, insane that it worked out like that.
	Yeah, I noticed, too, she came over like, peace, what you're saying doesn't affect me.
	I don't care.
	And then afterwards, she went, oh, I could use this for more victimization.
	So then she changed her mind and made it like, I was almost raped.
	Well, the worst part about it is that was her fiancé.
	I totally cucked her fiancé.
	I'm saying, oh, you got a big juicy Latina booty.
	You're a hot tamale.
	Yeah, Joe Biden's calling Mexicans breakfast tacos.
	But God forbid I call her a hot tamale.
	I'm the biggest racist since, you know, General Robert E. Lee to these people.
	It's insane.
	Well, she was mad the police didn't arrest you, but I'm like, what's the charge?
	Yeah, having a big booty in public should be charged.
	She should have been the one charged with the crime.
	And, dude, AOC's hot.
	I don't care what you say.
	Her politics are trash.
	Dude, she had a short skirt on, no panty line.
	It was hiked up with her booty.
	I'm seeing long legs.
	She was very petite.
	She was thin.
	She had it going on like Donkey Kong.
	And I'm not kidding.
	If she was ugly in person, I would have said that.
	But even with the mask, I would have hit it from the back, as they say, in the hood.
	Well, she did well with tips as a barmaid because she's attractive and people want to leave her money.
	And Gavin, you know that she basically got casted in her documentary, the Netflix documentary, about how she got that job.
	They literally wanted a pretty girl.
	I'm sure she beat out some, you know, gay, you know, transgender, you know, juggler or something.
	Who knows who she beat out to get that role?
	But she's 32 years old and she's considered like the most popular congresswoman.
	So that shows you it's a fake swamp.
	They're all idiots.
	If she is the queen, idiot.
	No, we really are drowning in affirmative action with that press secretary, Kamala Harris, not speaking English.
	And this, like, it killed South Africa.
	It killed Venezuela.
	All of these countries got drowned in affirmative action.
	It's killing Europe, and it's going to kill us.
	I wouldn't be surprised if Michelle Obama is the next president.
	Okay, and Michelle Obama is a boy, but I know you don't agree with that.
	She has a penis.
	She might not be a boy anymore.
	But what I'm saying is that's kind of a joke.
	That's the joke I always say.
	If you've never seen that conspiracy, Gavin, you hate when I get all conspiratorial.
	But you know Barack Obama with a guy named Larry Sellers, you know, supposedly did cocaine and had gay sex.
	You know that one, right?
	Yeah, I've heard that one.
	Well, I've heard the theory that they know it's going to come out that she's trans, so that's why they're pushing so much trans shit so it'll be normalized by the time she's ready to run.
	Well, that's what I'm saying.
	I don't know if she'll be the president because then they're going to have to admit that she's a linebacker for the Chicago Bears or could be.
	Well, but on a serious note, when we talk about the president, Gavin Newsom happened to come here.
	As soon as Joe Biden goes to Israel, you know, our biggest ally, thank you so much for going there.
	I just want to really personally thank him.
	Thank you so much, Joe.
	But as soon as he went to Israel, Gavin Newsom came and took a tour of the White House.
	So that should be a little dog whistling like, oh, they're going to put him in.
	He's going to be in the driver's seat for the next, I think, candidate.
	Have you not seen that?
	No, but he almost got recalled.
	How could they run him?
	He ruined California.
	Kamala Harris can't even speak English.
	Joe Biden's son is smoking crack and weighing it out with his genitals.
	So do you think that just because of that, that's going to stop him because he got recalled?
	Actually, matter of fact, they can turn that into a thing.
	Oh, well, these racist people try to recall him.
	So, you know, he's been unfairly targeted.
	So, you know, he should be the president.
	You know, they can always twist all this crap.
	You know, nothing will surprise me.
	Justin Chudeau has been elected three times.
	It's totally possible that we could get an even bigger clown show in the next four years.
	And, you know, it's funny.
	They all talk about, you know, white supremacy is our biggest problem.
	Yet Joe Biden is like a 100-year-old white guy that's been a politician his whole life.
	And then you look at, I mean, you just like, Gavin Newsom is as white as it gets.
	I mean, it doesn't even get any whiter or blue blood than Gavin Newsom.
	Yeah, he looks like an Aryan villain in a fucking sitcom.
	Hey, where are you going right now?
	You got a busy day.
	Is this all because of AOC?
	No, no, no, no.
	I was planning on going.
	That's why I'm in D.C. to go on Tim Poole's show.
	Oh, yeah.
	That's why I was here.
	So I came a couple days early to try to, you know, get some content, stir things up.
	And honestly, they canceled my comedy show last night.
	The media called the DC Art Center and said that I'm a proud boy and that I'm a sexual harasser and all this stuff.
	And so they were, even though I had a signed contract with them, I sold like 60 tickets.
	They were still able to cancel it because of security reasons.
	So it's not like I'm going to sue them.
	I get it.
	They say they got threatened.
	But I was so, I was a little bummed out.
	Not about the money, just because people traveled here all over Virginia.
	So I felt bad.
	But nearly 50 people came and met me at the steps of the Capitol.
	Marjorie Taylor Green was there.
	And we had a meet and greet.
	It was fun.
	You know, we told some jokes.
	It almost was a better event, even though they tried to shut us down.
	So it's a streistan effect, and they tried to shut it down.
	Then it got your attention, Gavin.
	So it kind of helps when they shut you down.
	It's weird how it works like that.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Well, have fun today.
	Enjoy your moment in the sun and pry it open.
	And next, I know.
	And next week, let me come on and let me come on and do a proper interview and I'll tell you everything that happened.
	Dude, I want you to live here.
	I want you to live at the studio.
	I'm okay.
	Well, maybe I'll move to Ryan.
	This isn't the best video.
	Keep watching this.
	No, I want to stay on.
	Keep watching and show the wave.
	Ryan, play that whole video and watch me wave to her.
	Look how goofy I look.
	I look like a gay tourist.
	We got to show this video.
	Watch the video, Gavin, and listen.
	Watch what I do.
	Go play it again.
	That was just the sound drop, but I can grab the full video.
	We'll play it after we say goodbye to you.
	I like you more than a friend.
	Later.
	I love you, Gavin.
	You're the man.
	Keep doing God's job.
	You're doing the Lord's work.
	Not me.
	They're saying I'm doing the Lord's work.
	No, dude, I'm just creating more chaos, trying to expose these people for the hypocrisy.
	And I'm trying to see some big moody Latinas while I do it.
	Okay, I'll see you.
	All right, buddy.
	I'll talk to you next week.
	Ciao.
	Peace.
	That guy's going to go deaf from his own voice.
	I don't know what you're talking about, Gavin.
	Gavin, I can get you Cadillac and Verbal right now for like $300, Gavin.
	He must be drowning in pussy.
	He can fuck any conservative he wants.
	I had a chick hit me up on Instagram.
	She was like, can you hook me up with him?
	Yes, I've had that too.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	And I was like, go for it.
	And she was like spazzing out a little bit.
	The chick was like an intern I had a million years ago at CRTV, who's like fucking 10.
	And I'm like, okay.
	Bye, pussy.
	I just watched pussy go by.
	That's what marriage is.
	You're in a bus and you're looking out the window as pussy goes by.
	I know.
	It's gone.
	Yeah, I was like, yeah, whatever her name, you know, Annabelle.
	I'll just make up a name.
	They'd be like, yeah, this girl, Annabelle, she's interested in you.
	He's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I already talked to Annabelle.
	And I sent him the account and he's like, oh, that's a different one.
	He's carpet bombing DC with his dick right now.
	Is Ashley St. Clair still with that doctor, dude?
	He could bang her.
	He could bang Isabelle O'Reilly.
	Isabella DeLuca, I think, is married now.
	That's three.
	Gavin, I got Chlamydia.
	I got Gonoria.
	Gavin, I have General Wars.
	Gavin.
	It's not stopping him here.
	99 is not going to be a good idea.
	You got to make an Alex Steinface.
	That has to happen.
	I'm going to write that down.
	That might be the name of this episode.
	Alex Steinface.
	Alex Steinface.
	I have a resting Alex Steinface.
	ASF.
	AOC versus ASF.
	Okay, let's talk about the suburbs.
	Let's take a different route.
	Oh, shall we hit this on the motherfucking green?
	Come on, everybody.
	I left the suburbs in 1988.
	The suburbs I left were bucolic.
	It was fun.
	You didn't know how your neighbor voted.
	Asking your neighbor how they voted would be incredibly invasive.
	It would be like, are you circumcised?
	Or how often do you shit?
	So it didn't come up.
	We didn't know how our neighbors voted.
	We didn't talk politics.
	You weren't defined by your politics.
	Now there's entire areas that are left, right, that narrow the two shall meet.
	The suburbs I grew up in, kids played outside.
	The suburbs I live in now, everyone goes to country clubs.
	And I should sort of warn you, I'm talking about a very particular demographic.
	I'm talking about suburban Westchester, upper middle class, disproportionately Jewish.
	Jews are 3% of the population, but in parts of Westchester, they're like 20.
	Very affluent, maybe even higher than upper middle class.
	So it's not all suburbs.
	The bucolic 70s suburbs that I grew up in with the big wheels and making jumps and playing street hockey and yelling, car, every time a car comes by and moving the nets out of the way, that might still exist.
	I don't know.
	It doesn't exist where I am.
	And, you know, I was coming from the East Village where I'd have one friend who was six feet tall with facial tattoos, another friend who was like a black midget.
	And it was easy to tell everyone apart.
	Everyone was so weird.
	I come to the suburbs.
	Everyone looks the same, but they're weirder.
	And there's drugs, there's infidelity, there's all kinds of shit.
	So it's like, it's weirder than living in the Lower East Side of New York, but it looks totally normal.
	So I'd like to present to you 10 weird things about the suburbs.
	Number one, they're all pussies.
	They're scared of nature.
	And I mean petrified.
	And I'll give you three examples of that.
	One is bees.
	If there's a wasp, if they're having hot dogs outside or at a barbecue, they don't really barbecue.
	But if there's like a, I just chose this because it's a funny video of a wasp.
	It's just b-roll.
	Shift it over that way a bit, Ryan.
	They're having hot dogs or something.
	A wasp comes by.
	What do you do?
	Normal people, you just sort of go, oh, there's a wasp there.
	They get up.
	Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
	The kids, the dad, they all freak the fuck out like it's an African killer bee.
	And they can't sit down again until that wasp is gone.
	Of course, he's not gone.
	There's like sugary drinks in the garbage.
	He's a pig and shit.
	They cannot deal with wasps.
	The other thing that freaks them the Fuck out is poison ivy.
	So they're petrified of any kind of shrubs and bushes and forest.
	So if you're at a baseball game and the ball rolls, they're like, I'll get it, I'll get it.
	And then it rolls literally two feet into the shrubbery foliage.
	They're just like, oh, well, can't go get that.
	I'll get poison ivy and die.
	So if someone from the suburbs is chasing you, take two steps into the forest and then be like, bye.
	And you'll have a force field.
	The third example of the fear of nature is the sun.
	They think the sun is made of AIDS.
	They will wear like a sun hat.
	They'll go for a walk with a huge sun hat.
	You know, with the little toggle thing here?
	They have that on.
	They obsessively rub it on their kids.
	I don't think they realize this.
	You get sunburned from after 10 to around 2 p.m.
	4 o'clock, 5 o'clock.
	They're slathering it on with these dumb fucking hats.
	And they wear, not just the kids wearing swim shirts, swim pants.
	Like a swim, complete swim-proof suit, sunproof suit.
	And the dad has it too with his little hat.
	Not a bucket hat, but like a hat with a rim this big.
	Because the sun's going to get you.
	Remember when I was a kid, we'd be fucking red lobsters.
	And we'd pick off sheets of skin like that big.
	No one gets sunburned anymore.
	You're going to hell if you get fucking hot from the sun.
	Two, they all look exactly the same.
	This was a real problem when I first moved here.
	I knew two dudes, these like they were coaching my son in baseball.
	I thought they were the same guy until I saw them together.
	They always wear the exact same shit.
	The men wear these, they wear like athletic shoes, jogging shoes with the little no-see socks, which is so gay because you can see the edge of the sock.
	So why are you pretending you're not wearing socks?
	I can see your socks.
	But there's basically three outfits.
	So the women, now in the affluent suburbs, they have an au pair and they have a nanny and they don't do the cooking or the cleaning or the anything.
	They don't drive the kids that round.
	So they have nothing but free time.
	They have one job and that's don't get fat.
	Maybe two jobs.
	Don't get fat and maintain the status of the family.
	So they obsessively talk about other people's kids.
	I heard a conversation once where she goes, yeah, so Tim got a haircut.
	And the other moms go, you mean Lisa's kid?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	But his hair was pretty long, right?
	It was like down to here.
	Yeah, it's not short, short, but it's shorter.
	I think it looks pretty good.
	And they go, huh?
	I almost went over to them and went, you give a fuck about someone else's kid's hair?
	But they do.
	And they're into like who takes rowing lessons and who's dating whom is big with them because it's eugenics.
	They want to keep breeding.
	They live in these all-white communities.
	Their biggest fear is racism.
	And the only thing that approaches that is their fear of blacks.
	Their daughter marrying a black guy or a poor guy.
	Holy fuck.
	Anyway, so they wear Lululemon.
	That's what they look like.
	After the kids go to school, they've got till 3 p.m. to kill.
	So they'll go to the gym.
	They'll work out.
	They go on these long fucking like three-mile walks with their friends with a big, huge iced coffee and just natter.
	Constantly, you see them in the car and they've got their Bluetooth on in the car and they're like, how do you natter that much?
	I natter for a living and I can't hold a candle to your natters.
	In the winter, they wear the same coat their husbands wear, which is a black Patagonia.
	They don't look like, no one looks like this in the suburbs.
	But this jacket is their fucking uniform.
	Like 100% of the people in the suburbs wear this jacket.
	Sometimes, if they're feeling like fucking lunatics, they'll wear the vest version, but they always wear the black down Patagonia thing.
	They love Patagonia, I guess, because it's environmental.
	These are liberals I'm talking about, by the way.
	I'm not talking about red suburbs.
	They also, this is the weirdest thing.
	It's such a random choice.
	When they go to work in the winter, they wear a quarter zipper sweater with a tie.
	And then on top of that, first of all, what the fuck is more annoying than a quarter zip?
	What is the purpose of this?
	Ooh, it's getting chilly.
	Oh, it's warmed up a bit.
	This doesn't make a fucking difference.
	And I don't know if you wear suits.
	I'm wearing a Minita fashion specialty over here.
	They're fucking hot.
	Like, I don't usually wear a jacket.
	Even in February, I'll walk around Manhattan and like this because, you know, you're going from subway to thing.
	You don't really have time to get cold.
	Do you wear a sweater with this?
	Go to the next one.
	No, no, no, the next link.
	They wear it with a blazer.
	A sweater, this is like the fucking hottest thing in the universe.
	I could climb Mount Everest in this.
	A thick blazer with a sweater and a...
	You look like a fucking fool.
	And they all wear it.
	That's the crazy thing, too.
	I tell you about these random outfits like Lululemon and Vineyard Vines.
	The ubiquity is bizarre.
	It's a complete, total and utter conformity.
	That's the other one I want to talk about.
	In the summer, the men were Vineyard Vines.
	Now, it's all about status in the suburbs now, right?
	So Vineyard Vines was started by two lazy rich kids in Martha's Vineyard.
	And it's just stupid garbage clothes, right?
	Just t-shirts and flip-flops.
	And they started with ties that named streets in Martha's Vineyard.
	What Vineyard Vines means is I summer in Martha's Vineyard.
	What other people think of them is incredibly important.
	You haven't seen this kind of classism outside of Britain anywhere.
	They show their status by Vineyard Vines and their kid's school.
	So if they get their kid into an Ivy League school, that has to go on the back window.
	So the Vineyard Vines on the back window is a sticker.
	And, you know, my daughter is at Harvard or whatever.
	That's their equivalent of like, hello, how are you, darling?
	That's their posh accent.
	And they wear them with flip-flops or those stupid fucking slippers, drivers, which must reek like shit, these leather slipper shoes.
	Go to the 19.
	What are you waiting for?
	Oops.
	Hello?
	Got you.
	Did you fall asleep at the wheel?
	I did not.
	What are you doing?
	So some of them wear these, but almost all of them wear flip-flops.
	And they'll wear flip-flops well into September and October.
	So they'll have their Patagonia jacket on with jeans and fucking men's toes.
	Like the suburbs in the summer is an absolute raging toe convention.
	Go back up a bit.
	They still wear cargoes.
	And you're talking to a dude and you're looking down at his fucking toes, like at a bar.
	And then sometimes, I've seen this before, at the bar, their foot will come out of their flip-flop, and then they'll put their toes like rested on the little bar at the bottom there, that little brass thing, like a little monkey.
	It's like, why don't you pull your dick out while you're at it?
	Of course, there's never going to be any conflict.
	They're never going to be in a fight.
	So it doesn't occur to them to, you know, be prepared.
	So yeah, those are some random outfits they seem to have chosen, but everyone wears them.
	There's zero difference.
	So sometimes I'll meet a parent that I know through like my kids' sports and they'll be like, hi, Gavin.
	And I'll go, hello.
	How are you?
	No fucking clue who it is.
	And I could have talked to them for an hour because they all look men and women exactly the same.
	Four.
	Wait, number three, speaking of random, they only like two bands and they love these bands.
	The bands are the Red Hot Chili Peppers and The Grateful Dead.
	Like, does that sound like someone just threw a dartboard at a Rolling Stone magazine from 20 years ago?
	The Red Hot Chili Peppers, the Funky Punky band with California Cation and all that stuff?
	And they think this is kind of badass, too.
	Like, they'll be playing at Madison Square Garden and they'll be like, yeah, I'm going to see the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
	That's like Slayer to them.
	Like, I'm a fucking psycho rock and roll warrior and I listen to funky punk.
	Okay, go nuts.
	And then Grateful Dead.
	You mean that shitty jam band that burnt out hippies like?
	What are you, a homeless person in San Francisco on 8th Street?
	The Grateful Dead.
	And with the Grateful Dead, it's actually one of the few times you see them stray from their fashion.
	They'll have like a Grateful Dead watch, Grateful Dead shirt, Grateful Dead umbrella.
	They love Grateful Dead merch and showing people that they like the Grateful Dead.
	And that, again, is considered badass.
	I guess because the logo's a skull.
	So not only do they like these shitty random bands, a corny pop band, and a agonizingly dull jam band, but they also sort of think that you're like, holy fuck, man.
	You like Sepultura?
	Like, they think it's dangerous and edgy or something.
	Number four, speaking of dangerous and edgy, I'm not popular in my suburban community.
	I'm well known, well-hated, and no one has the balls to come up to me, of course.
	And my attitude with people who hate me is very simple.
	If you want to debate, we can debate.
	If you want to fight, we can fight.
	Otherwise, fuck off.
	Like, why would I give a shit what a stranger thinks?
	Hey, are you guys, how do you feel about the G-Dog?
	Are you positive?
	Okay, so no?
	Okay.
	Sorry.
	Sorry.
	Sorry.
	You don't want me here?
	You feel unsafe?
	Okay, I got that once.
	I told you that, right?
	British guy's like, my Jewish friend over there says he feels unsafe with you here.
	I go, that's the gayest thing I've ever heard.
	And he goes, no, it isn't.
	And they go, yeah, it is.
	And then we said, no, it isn't.
	Yeah, it is, maybe 10 times.
	Anyway, they want me to know that I hate them, so they stare.
	And they think that's the same as like shoving someone.
	So they'll go like this, like.
	So what I usually do is just go, hi, and then walk away or something.
	They'll do it.
	One time, some guy did it.
	He walked by my house and he's staring at me the whole time.
	And then he does it for like a block.
	Like he's turned the corner.
	He's about 500 feet away still with the...
	And now he has to sort of crane his neck.
	Is that...
	Do you have lasers for eyes?
	I don't understand what you think is happening here.
	Do you think you're Superman?
	You look fucking ridiculous.
	And yeah, in prison, if some dude is staring at you, it's probably pretty fucking scary.
	Want it some pussy who's scared of nature in a vineyard vines shirt and Grateful Dead on his iPod?
	Not scary, guys.
	Not scary.
	Funny, actually.
	Here's this one I do not get.
	Number five, they're constantly giving coaches shit.
	Like, this guy volunteered to be a dad, to do your job.
	It's your job to play catch with your kid and make sure he has fun and let him get better at sports.
	And they're like, they act like the guy's making a million dollars a year.
	They scream at him.
	They start beef.
	I remember there was this one beef where my kid's coach made a banner of the team and the parents were pissed.
	Guess why?
	Well, I don't have three weeks to stand here.
	I'll tell you why.
	The coach is putting his favorite players in the middle and the players he doesn't like, he puts at the edge.
	I talked to the coach.
	He goes, I didn't even design that.
	I just gave it to a graphics company that makes the banners and they put them together.
	I didn't fucking choose anyone.
	He ended up quitting, by the way.
	He quit coaching because it takes up all your weekends.
	Like imagine you had someone who volunteered to come by and look at this guy.
	I'll sue you till you get to the bottom.
	I'll sue you.
	One time I saw a fight where the guy was threatening the coach so much the coach picked up a bat and said, you better fucking back down, Larry.
	And you know what a parent yelled out?
	Because one of them fell back off his chair, if I recall correctly.
	And so there's a big kerfuffle.
	You hear the other bats fall down.
	And some parent yells out, hey, hey, there's no home here.
	That tells you the kind of level of testosterone we're dealing with in the suburbs.
	Like those two guys were going to go, that's a teaching moment.
	Wake up call.
	Hey, bring it in.
	Bring it in.
	But yeah, someone volunteers to rake your leaves, and you come over and you're like, what the fuck is this?
	You said you were going to get all of these leaves and then also do the trimming, the edging, fuckface.
	That's how they talk to coaches.
	I like, if my son was at the bottom of the lineup, I would go, I guess He sucks.
	I hope he gets better.
	I wouldn't be like, put my son third, fuckface.
	You assume the coach, like, what, the coach has a bias against your son?
	If anyone, it would be my son, because I'm the asshole in town.
	But it would never occur to me.
	One coach said, You know, you're the only family that's never complained to me about something.
	Yeah, you're volunteering to help my son play his favorite game.
	Bitching at you is number 986 on my to-do list.
	I just got mad, by the way.
	Number six, they talk about the fucking weather.
	Like in a bar.
	I don't do weather.
	It's one of my rules.
	I cannot handle that level of small talk.
	Please, come on, people.
	But they'll be like, yeah, apparently on Tuesday, it's going to be like 80 degrees.
	And when that person says that, everyone else knows.
	They don't just know today and tomorrow.
	They know the whole week.
	So they're like, yeah, but it's going to break around Wednesday, I think they said it's going to break.
	And it'll go down to like high 70s or something.
	Yeah, I figured that's been the pattern for several million years.
	So I figured it would get hot and then it wouldn't be so hot and then it'd be dry for a while and then it would rain.
	Like if I'm going to go on my motorcycle, I check my weather app to see if I'm going to get caught in the rain.
	Otherwise, who fucking cares?
	It's just war, as you see in Glasgow.
	If you walk around Glasgow, Scotland, by the way, with an umbrella, people will yell at you.
	It's just war!
	That's how they pronounce water.
	Another thing they talk about a lot, by the way, I could have made this a separate one, is pizza.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	Frankie's has the best pizza.
	Yeah, yeah.
	It's in the North Bronx, North Bronx on fucking 158th Street.
	Yeah, but it shut down for a while.
	They know so much shit about boring shit.
	It's shut down for a while because the mother, like who the owner there, she got really sick.
	But it's opening and the sons are handling it now.
	But yeah, best pizza in New York State.
	Best pizza.
	Shut up.
	Fuck.
	All pizza in New York is good, by the way.
	If you want to try some bad pizza, go to L.A. It's not even cooked.
	It's not even finished.
	The dough is still wet.
	Number seven, this isn't really their fault, but gays don't exist.
	And that was, I got kind of culture shock because I'm a fag who loves sucking dicks.
	No, I got kind of culture shock because from Montreal to 1988, New York City, gays were always like 40% of the population.
	They were like a voting force.
	And if there was going to be a new street sign put in, they'd be like, well, what do the gays think?
	The gays, the gays.
	It's like in Montreal, it was all English versus French as opposed to racial stuff.
	There was no racial politics in Montreal.
	That was kind of weird when I came to America and it was all about race.
	I never even thought of race before.
	And then going from the city to the suburbs, and I'm sure this is true of all suburbs, all of a sudden, poof.
	Poofs are gone.
	Poof to the poofs.
	And you don't see any anymore.
	I mean, I don't give a shit.
	I don't like or dislike gays.
	They're just around.
	They're like dogs.
	But it was so weird to all of a sudden have a major part of the population just cease to be.
	And now they pretend their niece is trans.
	That's the new thing.
	To try to up the diversity quotient because they're deeply ashamed of the lack of diversity.
	Oh, I should have put that in.
	Oh, I guess we're going to get to that in a sense.
	They honestly think they're diverse.
	And in the day, it is.
	There's Hispanic groundskeepers.
	There's black maids.
	There's Hispanic cleaners.
	And the bus stops around 7 p.m., they're very diverse as everyone goes back to the Bronx to sleep.
	But at 9 p.m., it's 100% white.
	Because, number eight, servants do everything.
	Everything.
	They have, I told you earlier, they have the nanny and the au pair.
	I think one of the reasons that the women are such chatterboxes is because they're fucking bored.
	They have, everything has been delegated.
	So I think women are like octopuses, right?
	They have these eight arms that can do 10 things at once.
	They'll tell a kid to calm down and they'll console another one while they're cooking spaghetti and then cleaning something on the ceiling simultaneously.
	You take away all those tasks and the octopus is just like, ah, I guess I'm going to meddle in Gavin's life.
	I guess I'm going to talk about that other kid's new hairdo.
	So they just become these like irritating meddlers in Lululemon.
	But you see their groceries get dropped off by Fresh Direct.
	They don't shop at the store.
	Their dry cleaning, that all gets dropped off.
	The maid does the laundry.
	And you know what's funny about them too?
	They'll have like Consuela is there and they're like, they think this is really brave.
	They go, Consuela is family to us.
	Okay, good.
	Now you have diversity.
	You know what you can't do to your family?
	You can't fire them.
	She's your slave.
	Once again, rich white people, their idea of diversity is a diversity of servants.
	That's why they always mention food.
	You can get somali one night, Mexican the other night.
	They like different skin colors to hold up trays to them or say, yes, ma'am.
	Yes, yes, I am your family.
	Thank you so much.
	Another thing they do that's really benevolent is the maid's time is up and the kids are gone and they'll keep her.
	That's how much we love Consuela.
	We don't need her anymore, but we keep her anyway because she needs the money and she's family to us.
	Ah, you bought a family member.
	You bought a fat aunt.
	Congratulations.
	You're so diverse.
	What are you doing?
	Why are you...
	Look, you shut me up.
	Why are you backing me?
	Put yourself to use and make me some good things.
	I'll do it.
	What is this?
	Just a rich kid being a bitch?
	Yeah, it's a remade.
	That's the title of that video.
	Number nine, this is weird.
	We have a lot of house parties, always have.
	My parents always did.
	And I think this was true even in the 70s.
	My parents, no one else has house parties.
	They'll happily come to yours.
	I know what you're saying, by the way.
	You're like, no, Gavin, you're not invited to the parties.
	I've managed to find everyone MAGA in the suburbs.
	I know 100% of them, and it's not a lot of people.
	But it's so weird to go to a party on a regular basis, but then never have a party at your house, ever.
	And we were having these Christmas parties.
	My wife was just like, I don't want to do these anymore.
	They cost like three Grand.
	We would have musicians play and stuff, Christmas songs and all this shit.
	And then no one else would ever have a party at their house.
	You can't do that.
	It's sort of like if someone dares you to eat a spider and you go, okay, I'm eating a spider, but now you're in the dare club.
	And now I get to dare you to do things.
	You've joined our cult.
	This is from that stupid Nazi Hunter movie where the guy running the barbecue is the butcher of fucking stupid fats.
	Number 10, this goes back to what we're saying about the diversity.
	They cherish blacks.
	The less blacks there are in a neighborhood, the more they're cherished.
	And this is bizarre.
	Forgive me if I'm repeating myself because I've talked about this a lot.
	But there was this corrections officer, Ruben something, and he was caught fucking the female prisoners, which is rape.
	They can't consent if they're in a cage, right?
	He was on next door on this chat, and one of my buddies sussed out that this is the guy.
	And he had a different last name on the app, and he was talking about black racism and how evil we are and slavery and MLK.
	And it's a day of reckoning, and America needs to have a conversation.
	And all the white housewives, all the Karens are like, so true, so true.
	Thank you for your wisdom.
	Meanwhile, it's black in the Bronx.
	You're no more than 10 minutes away from bonafide black people.
	You can go volunteer there.
	No, I'd like to write a check or just put a sign on my lawn and yell, Hate has no home here.
	I don't actually want to touch them.
	I think they see them as like jaguars.
	Like not the car, the animal.
	They're these beautiful animals that I want to look at from afar, maybe even donate to a conservation fund.
	I don't want to touch one though because they're very dangerous and scary.
	So my buddy sussed out that this guy was raping prisoners and got fired for it.
	And he accuses of it.
	All the Karens are furious.
	You better know what you're talking about to say that.
	Ruben, can you believe he said that to you?
	And he puts up a post, Extreme Ownership.
	And he talks about what he's done and how he's learned from his mistakes and he's moving forward.
	And they all go, that's so brave.
	What?
	He's a serial rapist.
	No, he's not.
	He was.
	Now he's a reformed guy.
	Dude, the delivery dude, the UPS guy, I know him.
	I won't say his name, but he's from Jamaica or something.
	And he's like middle class.
	At UPS, you're making 80 grand a year.
	He's doing fine.
	But they're like, oh, the Negro's here.
	On his birthday, they make balloon.
	I talked about this on Anthony's show, or my show with Anthony.
	They made a balloon thing for him that was like, happy birthday.
	They give him presents at Christmas.
	The local bar, he eats his lunch there.
	He comes in with some disgusting fish food meal, turns on the microwave, reeks up the bar with Caribbean fish, and then sits down and has a Gatorade and watches TV.
	Doesn't buy shit.
	And they're all like, go ahead, you rock.
	Now we're diverse, everyone.
	Look, there's a colored man in the bar having lunch.
	And that same bar, I don't go to it anymore.
	They have this old black dude there.
	He drinks for free.
	He comes in from the Bronx.
	He sits down.
	I forget his name, Walker or something like that.
	I have never understood a word he said.
	We get along.
	We're like, yeah, yeah, no, motherfucker, got it.
	All bagged up.
	I'm like, you sound like someone is rubbing gravel into a frog's ass.
	Like, what the fuck are you saying?
	I just hear grumbling and burpering and murmuring and riveting.
	And he sits there drinking Hennessy all night.
	He probably cost them thousands of dollars in unpaid drinks, but they have a colored person there.
	So it's a bizarre world of backwardsness where they love diversity but avoid it at every cost.
	They think they're tough with stares but have nothing to back it up.
	They all dress and look exactly the same.
	They are petrified of eugenics and practice it on a daily basis.
	They're fucking weird losers and I don't recommend you check them out.
	By the way, Rachel Maddow was talking about the Proud Boys and she talked about a clip that the New York Times said, oh shit, they didn't plan anything.
	Of course, the New York Times can't say that.
	So they went, okay, they didn't plan to do anything, but then they did something.
	So Proud Boys went against the rules, which was don't do anything.
	So they're still guilty.
	But this is the clip.
	Don't show it yet.
	This is the clip of Enrique and the guys on like December 29th saying, when we go there on January 6th, don't break anything.
	Don't go through any barriers.
	Don't disobey the police.
	We've got to be law-abiding.
	Which, as far as I'm concerned, totally vindicates them.
	It was a huge scoop.
	Rachel Maddow doesn't watch the clip and goes, these idiots are on tape planning an insurrection.
	Like, doesn't she have people to go, can I just watch it first to make sure that's what they're doing?
	And they're not saying, don't do an insurrection?
	So here she is gloating at the Proud Boys when the clip she's talking about vindicates them.
	All right, so what time is the whole political presidential situation happening that day with Pence?
	That, I don't know.
	I guess we're just going to have to, I mean, a lot of the questions are coming in about D.C. You still haven't formulated a plan for D.C. yet because we've been trying to formulate the pressure.
	I mean, we somewhat know.
	There's a lot of detailed information I guess we got to go over.
	But yes, we will have a plan for D.C. Why is there a tape of that?
	Apparently, the proud...
	Because they're innocent, you stupid cunt.
	Our military group recorded Their video conference calls, which is the venue they chose for making their plans for Washington, D.C. on January 6th.
	The plan for the whole political presidential situation happening that day with Pence.
	This is the part where Stringer Bell says, Are you taking notes on a freaking criminal conspiracy?
	What are you thinking?
	I mean, I have no advanced knowledge as to what the January 6th investigators have gotten, what they don't.
	But Alan Foyer at the New York Times reported last month that the Proud Boys paramilitary group not only recorded their video planning sessions for January 6th, it vindicates them, Rachel.
	At least.
	Watch the tape before you gloat.
	You're gloating about evidence that exonerates the Proud Boys.
	Do you come across as a bitch?
	It's not even a bitch.
	She's a moron.
	Like, I'm very careful about gloating.
	I want to make 100% sure I'm right because before I gloat, I'm very reluctant to say, haha, I told you so when I'm wrong.
	Here she is being wrong.
	And women are, in fact, demented.
	It sort of goes back to what I was saying about how we can both look at the same thing and go, this is awesome.
	I see that they were recorded saying, don't do anything wrong.
	And I go, this is awesome.
	She sees them being recorded.
	She's so sure they're guilty.
	She's like, you dummies.
	You left evidence.
	Seized from the phone of the group's leader by the FBI this year in 2022.
	Quote, and a copy was recently obtained by The Times.
	So these big brains in this pro-Trump fascist group, first of all, decided to do their organizing on video conference.
	Then they made recordings of those planning sessions, which is amazing.
	Then their leader guy kept them.
	She could use a beard.
	Like, if that was a guy, I'd be like, you need to grow a beard, dude.
	Recordings for at least a year after the Capitol attack.
	Yeah.
	You don't think they were aware that everything they're saying is going to be public?
	I think it was a show.
	Wasn't it a show?
	Was that War Room?
	They had a show they did that was like a sit-down podcast thing.
	Yeah, yeah, Warboys.
	Yeah, Warboys.
	That was it.
	He duh, then had them seized by the FBI.
	And also, they have made their way to at least one reporter who was able to publish pieces of them at the New York Times.
	How'd you seize it by looking at their podcast?
	How many seizes did it get?
	They wanted Warboys to be uncensored.
	So, like, he saved this because he wanted it out there.
	You silly cunt.
	I was just seizing the last Warboys.
	Did you seize that?
	Yeah, it's sort of like when people go.
	We have footage of you putting a butt plug up your ass, Gavin.
	And I'm like, I know, I put it on my show that I charge people money to see.
	Yeah, but you hid it behind a paywall.
	So that's...
	Yeah, I got it out from the paywall.
	Anyway, that was fucking funny.
	She just keeps gloating and gloating and laughing.
	Like I said, I don't know exactly what the January investigation has, but it's got to be a help to have guys like this right in the middle of your criminal conspiracy.
	I mean, you pray in investigations of all kinds for targets like this.
	Did you literally leave breadcrumbs too?
	Yes.
	I mean, that's why the leadership of both of these pro-Trump armed fascist groups are about to be put on trial for sedition.
	Part of the way you're able to put somebody on trial for a crime that's serious is when they lay out and make records of everything they've done.
	That's making me mad.
	Get the fuck back in your fucking hall!
	But here's a good example of both sides being so far apart that we meet again.
	Like AOC says, why the fuck did the Capitol Police let those people in?
	To which I respond, why the fuck did the Capitol Police let those people in?
	Oh, look, I'm next to AOC.
	And in this, this is a bizarre thing.
	So I see when I look at this Rorschach drawing, I see a pro-trans woman get completely obliterated by logic.
	When the left sees this video, they see a badass trans activist totally fuck a conservative in his asshole.
	What?
	Tell me which you think it is.
	This is 3-0.
	And then we've got to do some pet bidens.
	You used a phrase.
	I want to make sure I understand what you mean by it.
	You've referred to people with a capacity for pregnancy.
	Would that be women?
	Many women, cis women, have the capacity for pregnancy.
	Many cis women do not have the capacity for pregnancy.
	There are also trans men who are capable of pregnancy as well as non-binary people who are capable of pregnancy.
	So this isn't really a women's rights issue.
	We can recognize that this impacts women while also recognizing that it impacts other groups.
	Those things are not mutually exclusive, Senator Hawley.
	Oh, so your view is that the core of this...
	Senator Hawley.
	Senator Hawley, if you say women don't exist, then all your woman issues are gone.
	Sorry.
	They're birthing people now.
	And I would say making abortion illegal is sexist against men, men who get pregnant.
	His body, his choice.
	Right?
	While also recognizing that it impacts other groups.
	Those things are not mutually exclusive, Senator Hawley.
	Oh, so your view is...
	Crazy Eyes?
	McGillicuddy?
	Let's see it again.
	Recognizing that it impacts other groups.
	Those things are not mutually exclusive, Senator Hawley.
	Ew, that was good.
	That's Adderall.
	AOC gets those.
	These women who are in over their heads, and we're going to talk about Kamala Harrison in a second, they have to take drugs.
	They need to take Adderall to because they're scared.
	They're affirmative action.
	So she's not meant to be there.
	So she needs a little boost of the old amphetamine sulfate.
	And that means you can see the whites on the top of their eyes.
	Let's see that again.
	Also recognizing that it impacts other groups.
	Those things are not mutually exclusive, Senator Hawley.
	Oh, so This right then is about what?
	So, I want to recognize that your line of questioning is transphobic and it opens up trans people to violence by not recognizing that.
	Wow, you're saying that I'm opening up people to violence by asking whether or not women are the folks who can have pregnancies?
	So, I want to note that one out of five transgender persons have attempted suicide.
	So, I think it's important to have a lot of people.
	Because of my line of questioning?
	Because we can't talk about it?
	Because denying that trans people exist and pretending not to know that they exist.
	I'm denying that trans people exist by asking you if you're talking about women having pregnancies.
	Do you believe that men can get pregnant?
	No, I don't think men can get pregnant.
	So, you are denying that trans people exist.
	And that leads to violence?
	Is this how you run your classroom?
	Are students allowed to question you or are they also treated like this?
	You're told that they're opening up people to violence.
	We have a good time in my class.
	You should join.
	My bet.
	You might learn a lot.
	Wow, I would learn a lot.
	I've learned a lot about this exchange.
	Absolutely.
	Extraordinary.
	Oh, my God.
	These people are crazy.
	Alex is back.
	Gavin, did you see that clip?
	You see the clip?
	They tried to ask the woman if she's okay with infanticide.
	I'm talking about killing babies after they're born, Gavin.
	And she couldn't answer it.
	And like three people, they refused to answer because they're afraid of what the liberal left are going to say to him.
	Did you see that clip, Gavin?
	Yeah, Alex, you got to calm down.
	Let's go to My Pet Biden.
	Okay.
	My pet wink bonk.
	So true.
	My pet.
	Biden.
	On him I can depend.
	My pet.
	Biden.
	A monster of a president.
	He's big and booze.
	Sleepy.
	But a friendly monster too.
	My pet.
	Biden.
	Wait, what?
	That doesn't rhyme.
	You're not going to believe this.
	But he's shaking hands with the air again.
	I said, I was.
	We're back to screens in bed, right?
	Because Thursday is no screen day.
	I don't think we explored that enough yesterday.
	But anyway, I'm sitting in my bed next to my wife this morning, and I go, oh no.
	And she goes, what?
	What is it?
	We've been so terrorized that every time there's an oh no, it's like, I don't know, someone killed our dad.
	Our dad?
	We're brother and sister now?
	We're brother and sister now, and somebody just killed our dad.
	That's the bad news.
	I got some bad news and some bad news.
	One, we're related.
	We're in an incestuous relationship.
	Our children are somehow must be more handicapped than we thought.
	You're my sister, and our dad is dead.
	Good.
	And three, we haven't met him yet.
	So that's weird.
	No, so I go, oh, no.
	And she goes, what?
	She's pretty liberal.
	She's not as liberal as she was when I met her because she's been red-pilled by all these fucking assholes in the suburbs.
	But she's not a big Trump person.
	And I go, he shook hands with the heir again.
	And she goes, oh, my God, can we just stop?
	She said, who did this?
	I go, America.
	America should be sued by the world for elder abuse.
	The DNC.
	The abuse of the world by an elder?
	The Democratic Party and everyone who voted for Joe Biden should be sued by the rest of the world in a class action global suit for elder abuse.
	I'm not even mad at this guy.
	How can you be mad at him?
	I don't get mad at animals.
	He's dead.
	Lizzo went to an award show and she had to rent a global suit.
	He doesn't exist.
	He's not here.
	He's not present.
	He's a ghost.
	If you're mad at Biden, you're mad at steam.
	He's a pile of gas in a suit.
	So look at him do this again.
	By the way, in Lizzo's suit, there was a pile of gas also.
	No, no, don't do it.
	Don't do it.
	Don't do it.
	Don't do it.
	Great honor.
	Thank you very, very much.
	Thank you.
	Thank you to you, and thank you to you.
	O Vei.
	Wait.
	Did you just do gun sounds next to a shoe?
	Oh, no.
	That was the end of the Breitbart.
	Oh.
	The video is still playing?
	Yeah, watch it with that.
	Speaking of faux pause, this is one of my favorite ones ever.
	He said we had to honor the Holocaust because it was so awesome.
	Call me a raging Zionist, but I thought the Holocaust was bad.
	I say two thumbs down.
	I don't think we should honor it.
	I thought it was bad.
	Maybe that's just my radical Zionist belief system.
	How could you honor something that didn't even happen, Gavin?
	Come on.
	That looks like on a no-fly list.
	This is a pretty good fit.
	I want to get on the record.
	This is Ryan Catiovera.
	That was a joke, not Alex Stein, saying the Holocaust and Nelson.
	I will once more return to the hollow ground of Yad Veshem to honor 6 million Jewish lives who were stolen in the genocide.
	Continue, which we must do every, every day, continue to bear witness.
	To keep alive the truth and honor of the Holocaust.
	Horror of the Holocaust.
	Honor those who are.
	Oh, my God.
	And he's not at a dinner party.
	He's in fucking Israel.
	Holy shit, dude.
	Could you be more retarded?
	If there's one word you should watch, it's the adjective before Holocaust.
	Honor.
	Well, that's a verb.
	What a boom.
	Continue to bear witness to keep alive the truth and honor of the Holocaust.
	Horror of the Holocaust.
	Honor those.
	Oh my God, that might have to be a drop.
	And you know what's fun about that one?
	It's good in bars.
	Like you go, the other day he said we have to honor the Holocaust.
	And the guy you're saying it to either goes, yeah.
	Or they go, what?
	No way.
	Really?
	I'm not lying.
	Here's a bonus.
	Wait, let me do this one.
	Standing here.
	Look, they think he's going to fall.
	What am I doing now?
	Watch this.
	His knees bend, and they go, The question is: What are you doing ever?
	Yeah.
	This, I think they fucked up on his Adderall dosage with that one, his meth.
	Because that whole trip was a fucking catastrophe.
	3.9.
	Parkland shooting happened in 2009, was it?
	When was Parkland?
	It was a year after he was vice president.
	2018.
	2018, Doy.
	So, yeah, you weren't president, dude.
	Sorry, that was Trump.
	So it wasn't a year after Obama.
	It was well into the Trump presidency, and he thinks he was Mike Pence.
	And then he fucks it up again and says it happened in 1918.
	This is beyond Mr. Magoo.
	Fort Hood, Texas, 2009, 13 dead, 30 more injured.
	Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, 1918, 17 dead, 17 injured.
	In both places, countless others suffering with invisible wounds.
	In both places, red flag laws could.
	This just in, ladies and gentlemen, a shooting's occurred at the Parkland School.
	You're going to want to tune in for this one terrible tragedy.
	We have to honor it, of course, says Joe Biden.
	It was, this guy who did it was basically a bum, Charlie.
	And he's on a one-way ticket to Palocaville.
	Oh, the horrors of 1918 at Parkland.
	So I saw this clip of Kamala, and she's still doing this word thing.
	And my theory is she loves, you have nothing to fear but fear itself.
	And she wants one.
	So you say, what is the future of labor in America?
	And she'll go, the future is what the future has always been.
	And that is the future of our country.
	She wants like it to be written on the side of a mountain.
	But you can't just repeat the words and think that you're saying something profound.
	In fact, just try to answer the question briefly, concisely, and tangibly, and we'll be impressed.
	Then you can start doing fun wordplay later on.
	I think that, to be very honest with you, I do believe that we should have rightly believed, but we certainly believe that certain issues are just settled.
	All signs point to good work having happened, but more work to get done.
	What the hell just happened?
	You know what she does too?
	She takes breaks in sentences and starts a whole new thought.
	So she'll have three tangents in one sentence.
	Like, I think that we were, and by we, I don't mean every single one of us, though it should have been, but some people weren't there.
	I think that we, you know, royal we, and being good at it, if you will.
	Scared and, you know, not totally lost, but in a sense, and this happens to all of us, of course.
	Scared of becoming more lost and at the same time less lost.
	And that's why we were found.
	Some things are just settled.
	And then we have, here's a weird one.
	We have Hunter in bed with his niece after her father died.
	Now, I don't have a niece, but I don't see us ever sleeping in the same bed.
	Maybe when she's a baby.
	If I get one.
	But yeah, you don't sleep with teenage girls in your family.
	Ever.
	Now, check out the texts.
	Zoom in.
	I can't read them.
	Getting my nails done.
	Call me.
	Just want to say hello.
	I miss you very much.
	You call me, you brat.
	Where are you?
	I miss you so much.
	So, so much.
	Is that how uncles and nieces talk to each other?
	Go to the next one.
	Like, I miss you.
	There's pictures of me sleeping.
	Sending a funny filter.
	Did you block me, baby?
	Miss you.
	No, no, block.
	I miss you more.
	What?
	No answer.
	I'm calling you.
	Go to the bottom?
	Hey, sweetheart.
	This is not normal.
	And let me show you my texts to my daughter.
	She's 16, right?
	This is how normal people talk to their immediate family.
	Okay, I'm walking down the street.
	Okay, I'll pick you up.
	Call me when you're done work and start walking up the street.
	And I'll just, and then she says, okay, I'm walking.
	Can I cut that red motorcycle shirt?
	A t-shirt of mine?
	Yeah.
	This is me picking her up at work again.
	Sorry, I might be a sec.
	People will not leave.
	I just go, okay.
	I send her a funny Instagram reel.
	I send her another funny TikTok.
	She sends me a picture of our bunny with a pride bandana on it.
	Ask mom if she has any idea where my Budweiser toque could be.
	And then it's a bunch of pictures.
	I was watching TV with her, going through my photos, and I sent her all the pictures of her that were on my phone when we watched TV together.
	A lot of those.
	A lot of those.
	I must have sent her like 20 pics, various family pics.
	Do you want to do microchord lessons tomorrow?
	It's all about organizing pickups and drop-offs.
	And then the occasional song or the occasional picture of someone.
	She sends me a picture of Travis Barker in a crass shirt.
	I say he's the king of cringe.
	Justin Thoreau and Angelina Jolie have worn them too.
	It's a thing that stylists buy for their clients.
	Like, can you pick me up for lunch?
	I'm working.
	Okay, let me know when you're not.
	What's going on?
	Never mind, it's fine.
	I'll have someone else pick me up.
	No, I'll interview someone else.
	I had to do an interview for school.
	Anyway, this is boring.
	But there's no like, sweetie, miss you.
	I love you so much, sweetie.
	What?
	Love you, so happy with you.
	Where's your mom?
	Home.
	What?
	What?
	You okay, BB?
	She's not home.
	My daughter.
	She says she loves me maybe once a year.
	On Father's Day, she'll hug me.
	Like, I'll go months without any hugs from the kids.
	And I don't think my, I can't remember the last time any of them said, I love you, Daddy.
	It's just not a thing that kids say.
	This is fucking weird.
	Is she home?
	She is home.
	Why do you think she's Nog?
	Which is what both of these people can't spell.
	And then why did Nog autocorrect?
	Who are you calling a Nog?
	Anyway.
	No, so I've called her 30 times, 100 times.
	Should I call her?
	No, of course not.
	Go to bed.
	I love you.
	I got a new Apple ID.
	New phone?
	That's weird.
	I didn't send that long time ago.
	Okay, here's the stripper he fucked, by the way.
	And they always say he's not president.
	Why are you focusing on Hunter?
	Because he's the president's son, and they do deals together.
	And he uses the big guy's influence to get these deals done.
	They're inextrably linked.
	There's a big ass Benn diagram.
	Well, anyway, she's super hot.
	One of the most fuckable creatures I've ever seen in my life.
	And she's not that like Victoria's Secret Supermodel hot.
	There's something kind of off about her, but I don't blame him.
	Okay, well, I hope this one isn't gone.
	This is the one where I went, oh, I get it now.
	Kamala Harris is shitting herself.
	She's an affirmative action hire, just like the press secretary, and she's nervous.
	She's like, what the fuck?
	Like, what am I doing here?
	I'm in way over my head.
	So when you see her making these flubs where she says dumb sentences, you're not seeing someone who's casually fucking up.
	Like, she comes out of these things going, holy fuck, holy fuck, I want this to be over.
	I want this to be over.
	She wants this to be over so bad.
	That's missing too.
	She's in hell.
	Oh, really?
	What do I search?
	Well, do 4-4.
	It was just another.
	Oh, no, we already did that one.
	All right.
	Well, it's just another.
	What work is working?
	Well, that's what the work is because we got to work.
	But next time you watch her, don't think of it.
	Well, think of it however you want.
	I don't think of it as this evil, elitist woman who's destroying the country, although those are all true.
	This isn't like a maleficent, some powerful supervillain that's destroying the country.
	This is like you took a dog, you made it into a person, and then made them vice president.
	Like this is someone who is drowning.
	And I swear to God, they would do, and both Joe and her would do anything to fast forward to 2024 and have this all be over.
	They are not enjoying.
	Trump loved his job.
	Pushing past people.
	Every day was a laugh.
	He treated it like a business, and it became a very successful business.
	And when you're an entrepreneur and you're running a very successful business, believe me, you feel great.
	It's fun to go to work.
	We should cleanse the palate with Biden with a Trump clip.
	Okay, let's wash Biden and Kamala off our brain lips.
	Do you really think this is the right thing for us to be doing, Ivana?
	What do people think?
	Let them talk.
	Ivana, Ivana, Vana.
	It's wrong, isn't it?
	But it feels so right.
	Then it's a deal?
	Yes, we eat our pizza the wrong way.
	Crust first.
	Introduce the self-crest pizza from pizza.
	With a ring of cheese baked into a totally new, thinner crust, you'll want to eat it the wrong way.
	Crust first.
	Did I have the last slice?
	Actually, you're only entitled to half.
	Large is $9.99.
	What?
	Were they already divorced at that point?
	I don't know.
	Probably just foreshadowing.
	Was that foreshadowing?
	Damn.
	I don't know, man.
	I feel like a Russian accent would get on my nerves.
	Yeah.
	I think there's very few accents that wouldn't bother me in a marriage.
	Like, I could handle English, British, English.
	I don't know if I could handle Scottish, to be totally honest.
	But Russian, Eastern European, Israeli, German.
	There's a weird thing.
	Australian I don't even know if I can handle.
	There's a weird thing for me, like, as well as not being attracted to Asians, too.
	If there's like a fiercely hot looking woman, but she has like a Russian or Eastern European accent, it like washes it away for me.
	Yeah.
	It like doesn't count.
	Well, I feel I have another bias.
	When I see a rich person like at Rolex or buying a Gucci or something, and they have an accent, I think you didn't earn your money.
	You're part of some corrupt system in like Uzbekistan where your father opened a gold mine and millions of kids have died in it over the years and you just get the money.
	Damn.
	I'm usually right, right?
	Non-Western country and they're rich.
	There's something wrong with them.
	Ooh, that one on the left is a smoker.
	Hope he's not 13.
	Lyzum.
	Yeah, the other problem.
	I think another reason it turns me off is like, I can't, I won't be able to joke about the fawns.
	Yeah, the jokes is a big one.
	Yeah.
	When I worked at my old job, it was nobody spoke English and it was kind of disheartening.
	I was like, no jokes, huh?
	Fuck.
	You know what you have to do in Quebec, too?
	You have to say your quips on the street in two languages.
	Oh.
	That sucks.
	That relates timing.
	I'm too old for this shit.
	Jétro Vieupo said merde.
	That sucks.
	It kills the delivery.
	It's terrible.
	Let's go to the mailbag.
	Oh.
	Right.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a damn.
	Let's turn our eyes together's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	Our first letter is a terrible submission for the Cognitive Dissidence Tour.
	That'll be a no for you.
	These are pinned, right?
	Yep.
	Purple flag.
	It's called Cognitive Dissidence Content Submission.
	Oh, I'm sorry.
	I had the word cognitive grabbed.
	Dinosaurs or dragons is this one.
	It's amazing how many baby monsters are fucking crazy.
	I would say about half baby monsters believe in flat earth, don't believe in dinosaurs, and think tons and tons of major events, shootings, didn't happen at all, and they were just actors.
	Okay.
	I might not have evidence to believe in flat earth, but I definitely have enough distrust to disbelieve anything I've heard.
	The word dinosaur has been around since 1842, when British paleontologist Richard Owen coined it.
	Okay?
	The word dragon has been around since the 13th century, which meant huge reptile, huge serpent, and sea monster.
	All right?
	In the 12th century, English language, the word for the same, what?
	In the 12th century English language, comma, right?
	You got to put a comma there.
	The word for the same was drake.
	They all come from the Latin word draconim and the Greek dracontos.
	Dragon is currently used in the King James 1611 Holy Bible translation of the Hebrew words tannin, sea monster, and tan, huge land mammal.
	Dragon is commonly used in the Bible as a generic description of huge beasts.
	Also correctly used in the King James is the word unicorn.
	The obvious thing here is one horn.
	It comes from the Latin word unicornus.
	Okay, where are we going with this?
	It was from what a wild ox was called in ancient times.
	It is used to translate the Hebrew word rheum, which describes a wild ox and has been ascribed to rhinoceros.
	The Greek uses monokeros to describe rheum.
	The modern unicorn looks nothing like Pliny's description or the drawings.
	What are you talking about, sir?
	Am I dumb?
	All of which is to say the words have been used to describe real creatures and have been used to describe mythical creatures made up by storytellers.
	Same things are done today.
	I don't know what you're talking about, sir.
	Maybe someone smarter than me can understand.
	I don't know.
	I can't even tell if he's trying to prove that dinosaurs exist or didn't exist.
	I must be thick as shit.
	How did the Ching Chunks have the dragons in the yellow?
	That's a hard one to fucking...
	No, it's not.
	Everyone had snakes.
	They're a repulsive creature that is the opposite of us.
	It's the opposite of a cute little newborn black bear.
	So you take that snake and you keep monstering it up.
	But why not insects or anything?
	Why do they all land on this?
	There's plenty of insect shit going on with that.
	Look at the wings.
	It's all the gross stuff combined.
	Bats.
	Another one points to religion in the Bible.
	Demons, the devil.
	Okay.
	Let's cleanse the palate.
	No symbos, but his BS powers are off the charts.
	So this is footage of Terrence Howard in Uganda.
	That's the place where it's a capital offense to be gay.
	You're murdered.
	So why did he go there?
	Yeah.
	Did he change his voice up a little bit though?
	I was born Terrence Deshaun Howard.
	Great.
	I've become an actor.
	You know, I've been nominated for Oscars and Golden Globes and the Space Stag Awards.
	But those were the awards.
	I've been nominated for Golden Globes.
	As a child, I studied chemical engineering at Pratt Institute.
	Chemical.
	I was there for two years until I saw that there was an inconsistency.
	Why don't you invite Justin?
	You know why you were there for two years?
	Because you were affirmative actioned into that school on some bullshit scholarship, and you were in over your head, and you had to drop out because you were failing.
	But his version of events is.
	And so I went out to explore a new way of understanding how the universe worked, and I was able to define the grand unified field equation they've been looking for and put it into geometry.
	And then with that, the grand unified field equation.
	Imagine understanding any of this.
	The unified field is...
	Isn't that the string theory and also relativity or some shit?
	The grand unified theory.
	An even more ambitious theory...
	Wait, what does it say here?
	An even more ambitious theory that includes all fundamental forces, including gravitation, is termed a theory of everything.
	Some common mainstream GOT models are minimal left, right model.
	I think what he did, he did math, and he stayed up for like three weeks, and he poured over all of this shit on Wikipedia, and he thought he was understanding it because he was so fucking high.
	And now he still does a fair amount of math, but he's brainwashed himself into believing that he understands astrophysics and electroweak force.
	And if the electromagnetic and weak forces unify to make the electroweak force, maybe even at even higher energies, something even greater happens.
	This is the geometry of hydrogen.
	Of hydrogen.
	Hydrogen.
	This is the proton itself.
	So any bond that hydrogen can make, our linchpins are able to make.
	So we're talking about unlimited bonding, unlimited predictable structure, supersymmetry.
	You're unpredictable.
	Oh!
	What the hell are you talking?
	He just turns into the parents and peanuts.
	And by the way, 100% of the people in the audience are completely confused right now.
	There's not one person going...
	Okay, now to the Q ⁇ A.
	First question.
	Yeah.
	Oops, that's not a good question.
	Well, that would be awesome if there was any questions.
	Yes.
	Remember that footage in South Africa of these black students saying that physics was racist because it ignored the local shamans and voodoo and the science of their culture.
	And then this white girl gets up and she goes, What gives you the rat?
	No, she goes, But you can't be talking about things like a shaman that can strike down someone with lightning the next day because they did some sort of magic thing that doesn't exist.
	And then they all scream hysterically, laughing at her for not believing that you can have someone struck down by lightning.
	What?
	You've got that clip?
	While you find it, I'll read this one.
	You should check out this political cartoonist named Bob Moran.
	Moran?
	He nails it every time.
	Here's a link to his Instagram.
	Damn, he good.
	What a great artist.
	Very British.
	Huh.
	Thanks for that.
	That's a fun follow.
	Like the Hunter Biden one?
	Nude getting blown, smoking crack.
	Oh, no, sorry, doing lines.
	Hunter doesn't do Coke.
	That would be more normal.
	He smokes crack.
	Gavin, you were right to be suspicious about this story of a 10-year-old needing to cross state lines to get an abortion.
	New York Post just ran a story where the mother of the girl claims that her daughter's attacker was actually listed as a minor in the report, and that's why no red flags were set off for anyone.
	I'm sorry, but doesn't any doctor seeing a 10-year-old girl pregnant immediately report that?
	Don't they require the male to be known and confirmed?
	So now we have a third possibility that they were so worried about being called racist or giving illegals a bad name that they changed the age from 27 to 17 so it wouldn't have to be reported.
	Which is, by the way, I forgot to cover this.
	Finally, we always knew this to be true, but finally, Tommy Robinson has been vindicated.
	Where is that now?
	Don't worry, I'm going to find it.
	War on.
	I got it.
	35.
	Is it 35?
	Yes.
	Everyone's sending me this, going, holy shit, Tommy was right.
	An inquiry has reaffirmed findings that police schools and social services reportedly refused to address the sexual abuse of more than 1,000 children in Telford, England, by a Muslim South Asian man, Pakistanis, Pakis, due to fears that it could inflame racial tensions.
	Hundreds of girls sexually abused in Telford.
	And he focused on Telford, too.
	Yep, I remember that.
	So, I don't know why everyone's sending me this.
	Is the sky blue, too?
	We've been talking about this for years.
	Literally years and years and years.
	In fact, this goes back to TGMS, the Gavin McInnes show.
	We've been talking about this.
	My Rebel days, Tommy and I talked about this.
	And the mainstream has finally caught up with us and said, okay, we got it.
	Oh, here's a weird one.
	We'll end with this one.
	Hey, Gavin, Mooney here.
	What?
	I've been listening to you since TJMS days.
	I heard you bring up the Moonies.
	Just want to say whatever you think you know is fake news.
	I grew up in the church.
	We are used to misconceptions.
	My parents were matched by Reverend Moon, and they had five half-Jap white children.
	You said we don't believe in love, and that's not true.
	My parents didn't know each other, but they learned to love each other because they both had their love for God.
	Reverend Moon believed that matching and marrying different cultures and races would help unite the world and create peace, and that you can learn to love anyone.
	My parents, well, you can learn to love a hot Japanese chick.
	What if you get paired up with a dog?
	My parents and all the first generation basically took one for the team going through all they did as things are very different now.
	I did not have to marry a complete stranger.
	I was introduced to my now husband at 21.
	He was a Mooney from Montreal, and we went through six months courting before we decided to get married.
	We did attend a mass wedding in Korea.
	We call the mass wedding the blessing, which is a commitment ceremony meant to invite God into our marriage.
	Say a few vows, watch some performances, and that's it.
	My husband and I have been married six years now with a two-year-old and planning for more soon.
	The allegation that Reverend Moon gets to sleep with all the members and there's a lot of weird sex shit going on is hugely false, and I'm not sure where it came from.
	Maybe you're going to think I'm just a brainwashed cult member, but I'm not even the most perfect Mooney.
	I had my rebellious teenager days, my party days, and to be honest, I'm not that involved beside going from church once in a while.
	But I still believe and appreciate the values it instilled in me to get married and create a family.
	Of course we have disgruntled members.
	Good people, bad people, plenty of other things to criticize.
	All this to say, we're not the scary cult.
	Honestly, we're pretty boring, and we lost a lot of the second generation to the left anyways.
	So, if anything, I feel like we're on the same side.
	Meaning, us and her.
	That's all I'm going to say.
	I like you more than a friend.
	P.S. I know my grammar's terrible.
	Don't kill me.
	I'm just a stupid housewife.
	I added stupid.
	She sent a picture of herself.
	Very attractive.
	Did you see the Rod of Iron church?
	It is a Mooney spin-off church, I believe.
	It is, yeah.
	I mean, the only one that I could really find is Vice covering it, but it's kind of badass.
	They want a MAGA.
	They want to make America great again, and they're Moonies.
	And there's a really intense leader guy who's like, we've got a fucking lot of guns.
	Oh, I remember these guys.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	The thing I like about them is the left hates them.
	Yeah.
	They call it a gun cult.
	Maybe she's right that they're on our side.
	Who knows?
	Maybe that was a commie.
	Maybe we should become Moonies.
	I'm becoming a Moonie.
	I think it's more in this church.
	By Catholicism.
	I'm a gun Moonie now.
	A Goonie.
	Does he have an accent?
	I don't like leaders with accents.
	I think the first step is you have to...
	I don't like when I go to church and it's some African dude going, Jesus Is coming to us from Er Direction.
	I'm like, the Bible's boring enough.
	I need it without an accent, and I need you to be didactic.
	Yeah, I can't agree with the first part of that.
	But yeah, we have a preacher, a priest who came in, and he's from, I think it's, no, Ghana, not Uganda, Ghana.
	And yeah, dude, he kept like repeating the same thing.
	I swear, I turned to my wife.
	I was like, did he just repeat that?
	He's like, so when Jesus says, my neighbor, does that mean that what means to be a neighbor?
	What does mean to be a neighbor means to be?
	What is mean?
	And dude, he had to read the whole thing, I believe, in one whole, you know, that whole thing.
	He had to read it.
	He had a piece of paper.
	I know there's a guy who comes to your church sometimes.
	He's got black hair.
	He's like 60?
	No.
	How do you find you described a black guy like that?
	He's got very, very, very curly black hair.
	Short, very short.
	He's got big lips.
	His nostrils are somewhat wider than other people's.
	He's got these extra twitch muscles.
	He runs very fast, and he's prone to sickle cell anemia.
	What else?
	Is it a black guy?
	Oh, yeah.
	He's dark brown.
	But there's this guy who looks kind of Fonzarelli-ish, like a Henry Winkler, and he's fucking amazing.
	And he's the guy who said, you know, when I was teaching at Catholic school, my job was to catch people doing bad.
	And that's not interesting to me.
	I'd rather catch people doing good.
	Wow.
	And that's harder to find.
	And it's more important to encourage people when they're doing good than to punish them for being bad.
	That's great.
	That's what a fucking priest should do.
	Yeah, that's a solid homily.
	Blow your mind.
	His homily was literally just written down.
	It sounded like he was reading more just direct scripture.
	Why should it be different than TV or anything else?
	If you're up there, your job is to like excite people, incite, you know, inspire them.
	Great one for Father's Day they did.
	Great one for Mother's Day, too.
	It was just like really, really good stuff.
	Your church?
	Yeah, yeah.
	But it was the...
	It wasn't the Ghana guy.
	No, no, no.
	This guy, I can't get behind either.
	Joseph Prince.
	He's like, when you think about the Lord.
	The first thing of sin is still there.
	You can still sin if you want.
	Right now.
	Amen.
	I pray you don't, but you still can.
	So never, never think that you are beyond sin.
	Can I have a chance?
	He recently just got.
	He has a beautiful aunt's hair.
	I would always make fun of him to my grandma.
	My grandmother was like, that's heresy.
	She's like, no, don't make fun of him.
	He's a God guy.
	I was like, he's a fucking guy.
	All right.
	He's probably swindling you.
	Final video.
	Oh, yes, of course.
	I thought you might want to know how lipstick is made.
	So it's just a fun little video.
	If you can do this at home, you want to save money on lipstick.
	It's very expensive, especially some of this Sephora shit.
	So for our female viewers, try this at home.
	So first you get a bunch of syringes, right?
	What are you doing?
	Okay.
	You get a bunch of syringes and you got to boil them, okay?
	Because they've been into people's skin, they have AIDS, stuff like that.
	Scoop those out.
	You don't need a very big pot.
	Then you cut off the needle parts and you just have the pusher part.
	Then you take cacti, right?
	And you divide them into various leaves.
	Then you take a matchbox and you pin it to the bottom of the cactus leaf.
	I mean, a lot of people already know this, but this is for amateurs.
	Take those aside and you want to hang those up on a string, okay?
	This is going to take a while.
	You put in some sort of thing.
	We'll get back to you on what that is.
	Some sort of phosphorus powder.
	And then you let it sit for two days.
	And it'll crystallize on the cactus leaves.
	Now you take that aside and you scrape that off with a paintbrush into a small bowl.
	Make sure you get every drop.
	Then you take that and you cook it until it's a burnt powder.
	Then you take a mortar and pistol and you grind that up and it'll be a red powder.
	Basically there now.
	So then you stir that with water and you pour it over a piece of wood and then you put it back in a bowl and then you boil it until it's like jam, like wax.
	Then you pour that on a piece of paper, you get some tomato soup and you pour the wax into the soup.
	You stir that up, then you pour it into the syringes that don't have the pin part on them anymore, the needle, and we're done.
	Let it dry, boom.
	Simple.
	Have a fun weekend, guys.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.

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