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July 15, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:03:10
GOML LIVE #157 - HANDIKAREN (Part 1)

We introduce a new friend who doesn't actually show up but there's letters from prison and angry flat earthers telling us we got it all wrong.

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What's that band?
Surf City?
Surf curse.
Surf curse?
Surf curse.
The band is surf curse.
Surf curse.
That's surf curse.
Yeah.
Like a curse of the surf.
Surf curse?
It's a surf curse.
Surf curse.
Surf curse.
Sounds like two possible wordal examples.
And they're from Reno, Nevada.
It's basically really the brains of one guy that is gifted by God.
Sorry.
I believe God reminds us he's here by putting sprinkles on certain people.
And these musicians that just pound out hit after hit.
Like, play this song.
This is God.
Sorry.
It's a shout out from the big G. Same with Louis C.K. Just sprinkled him with magic.
Lou Reed.
Although Lou Reed might have been the devil with him.
Welcome back to Jew.
I'm Alive.
We've got our co-host, Maddie O'Dell here with the High Viz.
What's going on, everybody?
Good to be back.
Good to see you.
Why are you wearing the High Viz?
Because I got a new tattoo today and I needed a long sleeve shirt because I'm on my bike.
Is your bike here?
Yeah.
Where is it?
I didn't see it.
It's in the back.
Oh, way down.
Yeah, yeah.
Way down.
I brought my bike too.
You know, I was riding here.
I've been drinking all day, so I've got a good buzz.
And it might be because I'm a pussy, but if I'm driving like dead sober after a coffee on 95 or something, I'm pissing my panties.
And coming here today after having like, I don't know, six beers, I was just like, there you go, you gotta stay loose.
Staying loose.
I honestly think it's safer to drive drunk on a motorcycle.
I don't know about that, but.
I don't mean drunk, but like a buzz.
You know?
Maybe you're just a little bit looser in the arms.
Yeah.
Because when you're locked up tight and tense, it's no good.
That's when you start second-guessing yourself and doing crazy shit and going like you're looking back and I mean, I've ridden my motorcycle in all types of conditions.
Drunk, high.
Have you ever had wobbles?
Oh yeah, I've had speed wobbles.
I've never had speed wobbles.
How do you get them?
It's weird.
It's like the bike starts like almost like undulating.
It's like, does this like little rhythmic, and then it starts to speed up.
But what sets it off?
Well, you have to understand the physics of a motorcycle.
Like as it spins, it's a driver, like it's like a gyroscope.
So like when you lean left, the bike wants to correct itself.
So it automatically tries to flip the other opposite way.
And then, you know, low tire price.
I mean, tons of reasons why.
So you've had wobbles.
Oh, yeah.
And you didn't, did you wipe out from it?
I don't know.
Slow down.
Took it under control and tank slappers, speed wobble.
I would start crying and faint.
Well, you can't panic.
Well, that's a th- Holy shit, that dude's wobbling.
Slow down.
Let off the accelerator.
Also here tonight is Ryan Katsu Rivera.
That's true.
AKA Ry Guy.
What up?
Here to do whatever you need me to do.
So before we get started, of course, we should thank our sponsor, Johnny Apple CBD.
They've been with us since day one.
Very committed sponsor.
If you're a sponsor of this show, you're getting harassed.
How dare you support free speech?
How dare you support someone who isn't 100% on board with the radical left?
That's not allowed.
You may not sell your hemp-related products on a site that doesn't agree with me.
That's basically where we're living in clown world.
But these guys said, yeah, actually, we can.
We don't have to agree with Gavin.
We don't have to condone every single thing that's come out of his mouth.
We're just selling weed without the THC.
So johnnyapple.com, promo code Gavin gets you 15% off.
A myriad of things.
We got the gummies.
We got the tinctures.
We got the topical.
We got the fucking cartridges, which Maddie went to jail for for a year.
Well, they had marijuana in them.
Ah, I see.
So where Maddie does a year for his cartridges, these cartridges are marijuana free.
I mean, minus the bad stuff in marijuana.
It's so strange that we've isolated THC.
Did you see the MYPD has said cops that are applying no longer need to be tested for pot?
No, I saw they put a, they said they're not changing their policy regardless of what the law department said.
So people, uniformed officers still cannot partake in marijuana.
Really?
Yeah.
So is Eric Adams and the MYPD having this power clash where he says you can smoke pot and they say you can't?
It comes down to that dirty word policy.
Huh.
Policy is the worst word in the English language.
To be totally honest, I don't give a fuck if cops smoke pot.
I don't want them being women.
There you go.
Don't smoke estrogen.
That's my fucking two cents.
If you're a man and you're over six feet tall, you can jump over a six-foot fence.
Smoke it up, Johnny.
Smoke it up.
But yeah, johnnyapple.com does not endorse that particular view.
That's just me shooting the shit with my baby monsters.
And these guys are selling a magical product from God.
This might be a theme today, the God theme, where I honestly think hemp, there's something weird and magical about it.
Because they took the THC out.
You can still get high.
You do that Delta 8 and you get fucking baked.
You take one of these gummies and go to bed.
The dreams are insane.
The dreams are just going to the movies.
You're just like, bring some popcorn to bed because you're going to a fucking amazing double feature.
Anyway, johnnyapple.com, promo code Gavin.
Check it out.
So you know how this show works on Thursdays.
It's free to everyone in the world, including Indians, including African children with distended stomachs because they're so hungry.
They can watch the show on their iPads.
And then around half an hour in, after a few calls, after a few letters, we cut you off, and it's only for the subscribers.
This show, Get Off My Lawn, is a daily show.
It's $10 a month.
It's a beer and a half a month.
We have more content than you should watch.
It's really two hours a day minimum.
And then, of course, there's tons of other shows.
I highly recommend you at least try it for a month and cut out all other information.
Because the thing about this show is we don't just talk, shoot the shit like I brushed my teeth today and I farted.
We talk about the thing that is trending.
So say it's Biden reading the teleprompter or this 10-year-old who was raped by the Mexican.
We're covering that.
So you could watch no other media and still know exactly what's going on.
And there's some weird shit going on with this 10-year-old, by the way.
Very weird shit.
Yeah, he made that up just out of nowhere.
And all the media is like just biting at it.
And they're just like, oh, wow, that happened.
Wow, that's so crazy.
Meanwhile, never happened.
So.
Okay, I'm a little more ambiguous than you, Tim.
I'm not positive it didn't happen, but I just find it very unusual that Biden, an abortion rights activist, says a nine-year-old girl was raped.
I know you're thinking 10, but she must have been nine when she was raped.
A nine-year-old girl was raped, got pregnant.
Okay.
Also had an ectopic pregnancy where if she gives birth, she'll die.
Okay.
And she, the Ohio said, fuck you, you stupid little bitch kid who was raped, who's going to die.
I don't got time for your bullshit.
Okay.
You're going to go to Indiana, where Indiana went, okay, you can come here because Indiana is a third world country.
We take everybody.
And then they saved her life.
Okay.
And though it's illegal for doctors not to report a rape of a child, there's no reports of rape.
So everyone went, this happened Wednesday morning, right?
And everyone went, Joe, you're lying.
That didn't happen.
There's no report of that.
It has to be a report.
Or some doctors are going to jail.
Literally three hours later, around noon on Wednesday, they went, oh, we got the guy.
And there's a guy with a leaf blower going, okay, what happened?
What?
What?
And we just saw, did you see this, Ryan?
You don't do anything, so you didn't.
Well, it was stay off your phone day, so I didn't see anything.
That's true, but it's not stay off your phone day 1 million percent.
Okay, I didn't know that.
You're allowed to take peeks.
It's sort of like the Ethan Nordine hunger strike where I drank beer the whole time.
Okay, well, I, yet again, you know, I obeyed that very strictly.
Take it very seriously.
I don't believe you.
Well, I did.
I literally drank like a little Verde or whatever.
He gave me like the tip of a fork.
Yeah, no.
I don't believe you.
I don't care.
How's your battery doing?
Honestly.
Why don't you show the screen your battery?
Because I have a feeling it's at 50%.
If you didn't touch your phone today, it'll be 37%.
It died just sitting there when it sat and charged it.
What?
It was always searching for a Wi-Fi thing.
Yeah.
Because when you're out and about.
Yeah.
And also the heat.
And you started Vice News.
Is that also what went on, Tim?
I had to dump like the past five minutes because you've been cursing up a storm, and we don't do that here.
I don't actually watch Tim Poole.
I don't punch right, so I'm not shitting on Tim Poole, but does he not swear?
No, he tries not to.
I mean, we had you him.
Well, no, my guests, Gavin, gosh.
Anyway.
All right, that's all that.
So we all tried not using our phones today.
Oh, sorry, go ahead.
Well, yeah, when I had Rogan on, he was cursing up a storm, but I mean, how are you going to tell Rogan to stop cussing?
You know what I mean?
He's also hosting the celebrity mailbag tomorrow, so send in all your letters.
Oh, yeah, Joe Rogan is hosting our celebrity mailbag.
Brian at censor.tv.
It's amazing how many stars we get on this network.
It's amazing.
It's crazy, man.
Who have we had?
Crazy.
We had Carrie Fisher, Carrie Fisher, Joe Rogan, the entire cast of YMCA, Village People.
Yeah, each, well, separate episodes.
Yeah, we had B. Arthur, Tony Soprano, Jack Black.
It's amazing.
Derek Moore Plates more dates, Belber, Liver King, Tim Pollard.
Well, here's my take on.
So just to remind you what we're trying to do with this Thursday thing.
It's not illegal.
You're not going to jail.
It's sort of like when Dante Niero and I first came up with no wanks.
You can wank.
You just try to keep it to a minimum.
And I think this is kind of a revolutionary concept, by the way.
Like, you should read books, right?
You don't got to read every book like it's in a high school book report from front page to last page.
Don't miss a page.
You can fuck around.
You can read a little bit of one book, throw it away, read some other of another book.
I actually like this about PETA, believe it or not.
PETA's like, you don't need to be a vegan, just try to eat less meat.
Now, obviously, PETA's retarded and they kill millions of dogs with their bullshit.
But I like the concept of, and it's kind of a Catholic concept where you don't have to be perfect.
We're not saying all or nothing, which is what the left does.
You're 100% with us or 100% against us.
I'm not saying that.
Just try to be better.
And you don't even have to be better all week.
Thursdays, we're going to try to avoid our phones just as a silly social experiment.
Now, I started today looking at my phone for an hour from 8.30 to 9.30 because I forgot that today was the day.
And then I went, oh, fuck shit.
And I put it down.
And I got to say, even that moment I put it down, I was like, let's start the day.
And I started like cooking, coming up with shit.
I built some shelves in my son's room.
I built some stowage for Stowey.
He has a sloth named Stowey.
So I built him a round shelf that looks pretty bad because I'm not a good carpenter.
But like, I don't know.
And another thing I noticed about today was it was long as shit.
Long?
Yeah.
Oh, boy.
Not boring.
I'm not saying like, oh, fuck.
But like, the day, when you look at your phone every time you're remotely bored, the day compacts.
And when you take that out and you can sit and stare, I don't know, it adds like a few hours to the day.
Yeah.
So what did you do, Maddie?
I slept late.
Did you avoid your phone today?
When you texted me, that, yeah.
Because I didn't get the memo.
So yeah, I was getting a tattoo when you sent me.
I said, I'm getting a tattoo right now.
Talk to you later.
And what's your tattoo, a swastika?
No, no, no.
It's the German eagle.
No, no.
Not the warbird.
It's that bald chick.
What's it?
Ayana Presley?
No.
It's Ivana Trump.
Let's keep going.
Oh, she depends the price.
It's a combination of Ivanka Trump and Ayana Presley.
No, it's a traditional style tattoo, like old school.
It's a rope noose, and it has a banner wrapped around it.
It says, we had it all.
And the rope's broken.
And it's saying that we blew it.
We blew it.
I blew it.
After 50 years, I blew it.
So I went into our other pub, not the main pub, today.
We won't name names.
And they go, Maddie just left.
And I'm like, fuck.
Well, how bad can it be?
Okay.
Our chiropractor friend walks in.
Oh, boy.
With his Down syndrome daughter.
She was the most normal and intelligent person in the bar.
We talk for a second.
The chiropractor proceeds to tell me about Joe Tonelli's bladder cancer.
Oh, yeah, I've got pictures.
His wife's meniscus surgery on her knee, which is like, dude, I don't care if Joe dies, I don't care if your wife dies.
I hear you.
But what, you have pictures of what, Joe's bladder surgery?
Well, he's got his catheter and all these tubes.
Oh, he's showing his dick, right?
I don't have a dick pic.
He sent people a picture of his dick with a catheter in it.
Oh, Jesus.
What?
So that was painful.
And then Linda, who I'm trying to get on this show, she comes in, and there's an Eastern European dude there who is like, but having a beer, that's great.
I love to drink a beer.
And Linda shows up and she goes, Hi, are you having a beer?
Like, it was beyond Howard Stern whackpack.
Yeah.
Every single person there was garbage.
The Eastern European guy?
Yeah.
And then when the, when the chiropractor's Down syndrome daughter, you know how like they're sort of like kids, so they hit you a lot?
Like, get out of here, you.
So he goes, this is my daughter.
We were shopping and she goes, bonk, because she's trying to socialize and be like, get out of here, dad.
Yeah.
So he hit her pretty hard.
And then the Eastern European goes, guilty conscience.
Oh, boy.
It's like, I think you think that's his wife because you can't see her face.
And you mean guilty conscience.
And you're totally misreading this whole scenario.
This is a young girl, not a young girl, maybe a 30-year-old with Down syndrome trying to socialize and not quite getting the cues.
And you're getting the cues way worse than her.
So then Linda comes in and she goes, Hi, you having a beer?
Oh, okay.
And he's like, I'm having part of a beer.
Like, it was beyond fucking whackpack.
And she goes, oh, I'm figuring out heading to the city.
And I go, Linda, Linda, are you coming on the show tonight?
I'm trying to get her on the show.
And she goes, yeah, I mean, I have various appointments, various appointments in the city.
I might take the train.
I might take a taxi.
And I go, what are you going to the city for?
Oh, I have various appointments, but they're not strict.
They don't really care about the time.
They're all over the city.
It's various doctors.
I don't mean to interject, but I just received a text from Miami Mike who says that she just whipped her tits out.
What?
Yeah.
I'm going to have to break the code here.
He goes, Homegirl just whipped her tits out.
All right, then.
What up?
Right after the pineapple conversation.
Yeah.
Wow.
That was 8-11.
Look at that big ass.
Look at that big, juicy booty.
We're going to have him on the show tomorrow, by the way, explaining that.
Alex Stein?
Yeah, Alex Stein.
I love that.
He's meeting Marjorie Taylor Greene right now, so he can't be on the show.
But she said, I have various appointments around the city with doctors, and they're so scared of COVID.
So I might take a train and I might go at Adon.
But did you know there's a medical refuse and various bio-waste that they put on the train on this chairs?
What?
What?
Like, miscarriages?
What are you talking about?
Medical refuse.
She just whipped her tits.
What are you talking about?
I never saw her as that kind of crazy.
Anyway, so she goes, Well, if you want me to come on the show, text me.
Text me.
And I go, okay.
So I'm sitting right next to her.
And I go, come on the show tonight, 7:30.
I'll pick you up.
Drive to the Bronx, blah, blah, blah.
And I can hear her going, bloop, bloop, on her phone.
And then I did something crazy.
I go, see, I just texted you.
And I show her my phone.
Dude, she's in my phone as crazy lady from the bar.
Oh, my God.
Nice.
Did she pick up on it?
What's that?
Say that again?
Don't think so.
I don't think that she can pick up anything.
Holy shit.
So now she's in my phone as Linda, smart person from the bar.
Oh, Jesus.
I'm tempted to go get her now.
Please, it's a fucking joke.
No.
She'd be here for like 10 minutes and be like, I gotta get it.
I can't have this.
Okay, bye.
See you later.
Leave.
She is certifiably in New York State.
She's what they would call straight 730.
Her brain is just the wires are frazzled.
Like, nothing makes any sense.
So, have you been in a taxi recently?
Yeah.
Not really.
I take Ubers or I take the train.
I can't remember when I was last in a taxi.
A few years ago, I guess.
Taxis are kind of over in New York.
It's like, oh, well, did you know?
I mean, you can get an app where they show up anywhere.
They show up up in the Bronx anywhere.
No, that's not true.
You're not going to summon a fucking New York taxi up in like Westchester.
Yeah, I can't wait to be after the show and find out what that was all about.
She pulled her tits out.
I actually looked at her tits today, and they are about here.
She's probably 55.
I don't know how.
She's in her late 50s, early 60s.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And she's dirty.
Call Miami.
Okay.
Let's do it right now.
Yeah.
Wait, did I send you that rapist?
Let's call both rapists.
Miami Mike.
I don't think you could say that.
Just kidding.
Did the girl live here as well?
Yes.
But she's fine.
Everything that they're saying against him is a lie.
Okay.
And the child, are you related to her or her mother?
She's my daughter.
The woman who refused to provide her name and conceal her face states that she has not filed charges against the 27-year-old Gerson Fuentes.
No relation to Nick.
Who is charged with rappending?
Per the authorities, she's confessed to having vaginal contact on at least two intuitions with the girl who recently turned 10.
Dies.
Therefore, it's estimated that she may have been nine years old when she was raped and then became pregnante.
I don't believe it.
I think the authorities, instead of the FBI, whatever, instead of saying we're going to kill you if you don't make this guy a rapist, they just offered them $10,000.
And they said, look, here's the deal.
It'll be off the news cycle in a couple weeks.
They didn't explain it very well, but they said, here's $10,000.
Take this.
We're going to deport your husband.
And then he can come back through the border whenever he wants.
Don't talk to the media.
And they're going to say horrible things about him.
Horrible things.
Those are lies.
Those guys are liars.
And that's all they said.
Yeah.
And she's like, okay, we'll take that $10,000.
Okay.
Now Biden is no longer a liar.
We have our 10 pounds of flesh.
So what happened to the doctors that she went to?
Why aren't they being held responsible?
Because they told the truth.
As far as this story goes, we got the bad guy.
Oh, you're right, though.
Their job is to file a complaint there.
Immediately, not weeks later.
They're mandatory reporters.
That's bullshit.
Someone's been bugging me.
CPS would have been called.
The kid would have been taken away.
I know what it is.
All sorts of stuff.
This has been bugging me.
I'm a physician.
I just remembered two weeks ago a nine-year-old came in here and been raped.
She just turned 10.
And she was pregnant.
And I forgot to call the authorities.
Anybody in the emergency room or doctor's office is mandatory has to report that.
A pregnant 10-year-old walks into your office and you're like, get in line, bitch.
Yeah.
More of that normal shit that I deal with every day.
I would faint.
I would start screaming and then I would faint.
And then after the smelling salts, I'd come to and go, then I would start crying.
I wouldn't be like, whatever.
Like if you showed up at the hospital with a stab wound or a gunshot, they're calling the cops immediately.
Immediately.
Immediately.
If a 10-year-old girl walks into a fucking doctor's GY, OBGYN or emergency room or doc immediately.
That's the million-dollar question here.
Like CP, like chopping services, everyone's getting called.
Why did we not hear about this guy until after Biden was called a liar?
Because it's fucking bullshit.
It's bullshit.
I'm sorry.
I'm trying to be non-conspiracy Jones, but it's not happening.
Kind of like Russian collusion.
I'm sorry.
This episode is also brought to you by FOP Metals.
Not FOP, but P-H-A-U-P.
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These things are tangible.
Could they go down?
Yes, plausibly they could go down.
They're not going down.
They're a finite thing.
I wish the Federal Reserve was contingent on precious metals.
That's the way it should be.
That's the way it was.
And when we left the idea of attaching the American dollar to gold, the economy started going down the toilet.
And now what's happening?
Biden is printing money like the movie Idiocracy.
Inflation is at 9%.
It's very likely our dollar will be worth nothing soon.
I hate this fucking shit.
So don't take all your money and invest it in precious metals, but I would recommend taking some.
Going to FOPMetals, P-H-A-U-P-Metals.com, using the promo code Gavin and investing in gold and silver.
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It's like a Rolex.
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If you change your mind, you can sell it.
But I'll tell you what, the day Biden was elected, my dad took out all of his stocks, all of his investments, and put it in the bank.
And me and my brother laughed at him because he lost $50,000 in actualized losses.
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Now, you know, this is one of the oldest symbols.
Did you show the clip?
Yeah, you showed the clip, right?
I did.
See, see.
I want to show you what I did with no phones.
Maddie, though it was late in the day, how was your no phones day?
When I got the message, I stopped using it.
And I got here tonight at like 7:30.
And I was like, oh, where's the boss?
And I was like, I don't know.
I can't call him.
I mean, it was good.
I mean, I've been riding my bike the last couple of weeks, so I've been kind of off the.
Oh, and you're weird on your bike, right?
You don't listen to anything.
No.
You just, even if it's a 16-hour drive, you just go.
I like to listen to the bike and the road and what's around me.
I saw some black gangster with like a gold, you know, Nazi motorcycle helmet.
You know, those ones?
Yeah, yeah.
And he's on a dirt bike.
And I was like, you know, the wave we all do?
I was like, I don't feel like giving you the wave.
And then I realized he doesn't know the wave culture.
Probably not.
He's not doing the wave.
They're not part of society, these wheelie fucking dirt bike dudes.
You know, people outside of society.
They don't like us.
And we're the outcasts.
The rebels of the hood don't even like the rebels.
Yeah, I got my big ride coming up.
So that's Stowey.
I made him a little shelf.
Oh, no.
It looks terrible.
He's big enough to cover it.
That's exactly why.
If you look at the other picture, you can see, look how bad that is.
That's the sort of.
Definitely not level.
It's a quarter of a circle.
Yeah, it's not level.
It's painted in a really crude way.
Looks like shit.
But show these other shelves I made.
Yeah, and not only did I put the shelves up, that's my son.
I made him a little reading nook, which he's using to look at videos.
But we got a whole organized thing there with dinosaurs and then cars, baseball trophies.
That's the bottom shelf.
Top shelf is all superheroes.
And then the top, top shelf is like random bric-a-brac that's too small to go on the other shelves.
So baseball and then just fictional stuff, like space and dinosaurs and superheroes.
Yeah, things that never existed.
Well, actually, you people believe dinosaurs existed.
They were just dragons and they were around for like an hour and a half.
Far more likely.
Wow.
Did you know that, Maddie?
That he doesn't believe in dinosaurs, yeah.
Correct.
He thinks, well, he does believe in dinosaurs.
Only what's in the Bible, he said.
So he follows the Bible completely literally.
And Earth is 3,000 years old.
And dinosaurs did exist, but they were dragons and stuff.
Like the lockdowns.
Do they mention dragons in the Bible?
I don't think so.
I think they did.
There was a real map.
I think there is a weird giant lizard.
And there's maps, too, where they have dragons on the maps.
They have paintings from the Spanish.
There's maps in the Bible?
No, no, no.
Just throughout history.
Right.
Maddie was talking about the Bible.
Right.
The good book.
But there's big giants in the Bible.
So where are those giant bones?
The Anunnaki.
They're hidden.
The Smithsonian hides them.
The Nephilim.
And as I've said many times, my good friend Yona, very intelligent lawyer, smart guy, believes this shit.
And he sent me a video.
He made me watch.
What's it called?
Dinosaurs or dragons are dragons or something like that?
Dinosaurs are dragons.
There's more crazies now than there have ever been.
And with all due respect to my good friend who doesn't believe in dinosaurs, and I don't mean Ryan, he's not my good friend.
I'm a great friend.
Like, flat Earth wasn't a thing.
People go, the common misunderstanding, and this is up there with we stole the land from the Indians and then we use slaves to buy, to build society.
The common misunderstanding is that everyone believed there was flat earth and then Galileo came along and said, no, it's spherical and they threw him in jail.
No, Galileo said, maybe everything revolves around the sun.
Everyone believed planets were spherical.
You know why?
Because they had eyeballs and they saw the fucking moon.
So Galileo has nothing to do with flat Earth.
That's not a thing.
No one believed in flat Earth.
It was a few crazies in the cave days, like seven guys during cave days.
Now, everyone believes in flat Earth.
You have thousands and thousands of people that believe there's this massive conspiracy.
The Earth is actually shaped like a contact lens, and there's a whole myriad of other planets that are shaped like that.
And for some strange reason, they don't want us to travel and know this.
There's been no evidence of, or sorry, no even theory on why we're not allowed to know that, you know.
What happens with the water?
What do you mean?
Does the ocean just never ending keep replenishing?
No, it's not a cliff.
It's a contact lens.
It's like an upside-down frisbee.
Oh, it's concave.
Yeah, it's a little plate.
Oh.
And then there's another plate over there, and they're separated by snow.
I haven't really delved into the flat earther.
Yeah, I saw a great documentary about it where they debunked themselves in the documentary, but they were like, let's keep going.
This is too fun.
Do you believe the Earth is flat, Ryan?
I don't believe anything.
I don't believe anything.
That's an interesting take.
Copped out.
So here's one of the theories that it's like this, and then this ice wall, and then it's like ice all around.
So we're on a larger ball, probably, maybe.
But wait, that's all blue.
Shouldn't that be white?
Yeah, I think that's just the end of it.
So they always say there's like military guys to stop you.
What's their motive?
Like, why do they care?
I don't know.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
That's the problem here.
The motive.
Well, I think an easy motive that people don't mention, and I think it's kind of silly.
It's like, well, why?
Wait, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
Yep.
Ryan's about to say one of the most retarded things you've ever heard in your life.
Oh, it's a hard time.
Okay, go ahead.
The theory that I think makes the most sense would be that, you know, there's way more real estate outside of this, you know, and only the people that like, you know, can afford to go out there.
Real estate?
Yeah.
And then also, like, picture, like, let's say like there's a big globe earth, right?
Or something.
And it's all made of ice.
But there's like a sun and a moon and the sun is melting these ice patches and it's causing us to like thrive and stuff like that.
But I don't actually believe that, but that's like one of the other things.
What does Bill Gates own?
He owns like 600,000 acres of farmland in America.
If you're rich, there's no limit to how much land you can own.
We're not running out of land.
Here's another question that got brought up in my D ⁇ D group that I just made on Discord.
It's closed, so you can't join it.
Oh, fuck.
I can't join your D ⁇ D Discord.
Thanks a lot, God.
Well, don't blame God.
I mean, I'm the one constructing all of that.
He made you, though.
He made some random tourist nip fuck a Puerto Rican and then skip down.
That was his plan.
Anyway, so.
Why is Tim Poole so hurt by the fact that Ryan's father abandoned him?
I don't know if I reacted in a hurt way.
He seemed really crushed.
How?
That Ryan's father doesn't love him.
Because this is me in slow motion, but I did this.
Wait, why is your voice slipping into Ryan's voice?
That's what I did in slow motion.
So it was just like looking to the right.
Anyway, somebody's like, besides Steve Jobs, how many elites do you know die of cancer?
Name one.
I don't, I would say all of them.
Like, do you think Klaus Schwab will ever die of cancer?
Wait, will.
What?
So dead yet.
Now you have to go back over dead elites and tell me they're dead.
Old dead elites.
Who are old dead elites?
What's a dead elite?
Like one of the elite, like puppet masters.
Like, you know, like, tell me one.
Like, like, Billy.
Tell me an elite, a dead elite, and tell me what he died of.
Well, we'll look it up.
We'll check it out.
They're not even dead.
They're immortal.
I mean, I'm just saying that there's probably a cure for cancer out there, and they have it because they're elite, you know?
And they only just like put it on a surface.
There's a lot of 120-year-old elites.
Yeah.
The whole concept, maybe I'm naive, but when I think of elites, I think of like boomers, some of the greatest generation.
I don't really think of dead people.
Like, what about Rothschild?
You know, the Rothschilds?
He invented the banking system.
Yeah, are they dead?
What did they die of?
What age did they die at?
Let's look it up.
Okay.
Maybe they left.
Rockefeller.
John, the guy behind Chase Bank.
Definitely not cancer.
JP Morgan.
J.P. Morgan.
What did J.P. Morgan die of?
These are all heart attacks.
Rothschild.
Let's see, J.P. Morgan.
Conspiracy theories are good and bad.
I like people to be skeptical as shit.
A stroke.
This guy died of a stroke.
J.P. Morgan.
Okay, J.P. Morgan died of a stroke.
Now, Vanderbilt, well, that's pre-cancer, isn't it?
Vanderbilt?
Oh, it's pre-cancer.
Here's the other thing, too.
Pre-cancer?
We didn't diagnose cancer.
Or autism, yeah, yeah.
So people say cancer cases are going through the roof.
Yeah, because we didn't diagnose it back.
Same with ADHD.
You know?
Yeah.
Did autism actually come out of nowhere?
Did that actually pop up, or was that a undiagnosed thing?
Like, I feel like nobody was actually had autism.
I remember there being retards and Down syndrome people.
No offense.
You're bald.
Well, we got mad at that.
All the other stuff.
He was chill.
I died of exhaustion.
Fuck.
You know what?
Another thing about 1877, I call bullshit on your diagnoses.
You died of metastasized cancer, but we didn't know what it was.
We're like, oh, you were really tired.
He was on all of his ships.
You doubt their diagnoses?
I doubt the diagnosers.
Okay?
Listen, man.
All right.
Let's open the phone line to calls and cut out the freeloaders.
did did you just say dallas we go live that's did you make that i I made the music, but City Inquiry, the guy who makes all the backgrounds music.
Wait, you made the song?
I didn't make the song.
I played it.
Let me see if there's actual.
Wait, so you there's no sound to it, so I just put a dope-ass Fallout Boy song.
Yeah, there's no such thing as a dope-ass Fallout Boy song.
You got me.
Oh, that's the name of the tour now?
The Cognitive Coconer?
Cognitive dissidents.
I'm very happy with it.
It's very clever.
It's a nice ass graphic.
Dallas, Texas.
This guy makes graphics to the fuck on.
I don't even know what that means.
I'm going to go down to Dealey Plaza.
Oh, yeah, creepy.
Wait, we should go there.
One thing I noticed last time I was in Dallas is everyone has fake tits.
That oil.
Middle-class woman, white trash, rich woman, white, black.
Everyone has fake tits.
I hate fake tits.
I fucking hate fake tits.
It's like fake flowers.
It's like cologne.
I don't think I've ever met.
Blasphemous.
I don't think I've ever met fake tits ever.
Oh, I dated a girl with fake tits, and she sat me down and had a long conversation about how I have to pay more attention to her breasts.
Oh, geez.
Because I'd been ignoring them.
She was right.
I was ignoring them.
Yeah, how would you feel?
They were hard as rocks.
And I found out later that she used to be fat and she lost a bunch of weight, so she felt like her tits were too droopy after losing the weight.
I'm like, bring back the droopers.
Oh, boy.
Fucking bring me the droopers.
And an implant?
What?
She had a reduction?
No.
Just an implant.
No, I don't know.
It's just.
They were hanging down.
If you're over 26, you love a droop.
Give me some droop.
I want four pencils.
I could handle, as long as it doesn't touch your waistline, we're in business.
It's all in the armpit anyway when they lay down.
Yeah.
They talk about bombing abortion clinics.
We should bomb breast reduction clinics.
Allegedly.
Just kidding, FBI.
Whew, that was close.
We're not really.
Very good joke, I got to tell the FBI.
I'm kidding.
I joke.
Yeah, maybe the FBI's job is to kill all of our jokes.
Operation, stop them from saying funny shit.
So now we're about to go behind the paywall, but we're also doing the live chat.
We have a super chat here where we take money.
100% of it goes to Max and John.
I have no idea how much money we've raised.
I say five grand.
Here we go.
Question for Maddie regarding the recent shitty kitchen episode.
Were you born a poor black child or did I learn to, quote-unquote, wash chicken somewhere else?
I've never seen a white person do it.
Food looks banging, by the way.
Any chance of you catering the cognitive dissonance to her?
Best regards, Ben Gro.
All right, Ben.
I don't know.
I just washed chicken.
Not smart.
I've just, you know, I don't go crazy like scrub it or anything.
Just give it a quick rinse off, pat it dry.
So that's clearly a black man, and he's impressed that you wash chicken.
What?
I'm black from the waist down.
And your impulse control.
I have poor impulse control.
Poor consequential thinking.
So we take these super chats.
We give the money to Max and John.
They're getting out in about nine months, eight months now.
Oh, my Mets Pet's doing pretty well, by the way.
Coming back up.
I think I'm back up to $1,000.
They are still fourth in the entire MLB.
Is that rare at this point?
What?
Is that rare at this point?
This is before they drop off.
Oh, the Mets would be down in the fucking dumps usually at this time of year.
Damn.
Yeah, the fact that they're in the top five is insane.
Insane.
And it's kind of indicative of what's going on in America here.
Because they were led by what's called the Tampon family, and they were fucking up the team, Will Pons.
And they got a new guy, some rich Jew, who said, I'm going to be smart about this.
And he saved the team.
Now they're in the top five.
And that's what's going on with Joe Biden.
Look at our awesome Joe Biden quote shirts we're selling.
Joe Biden is hiring people, or whoever controls him, is hiring people based on how female they are, how black they are.
And his administration is a fucking shit show.
There's a great article in the post today about how all the people in charge of our economy, your economy, my economy, Maddie's economy, Ryan's gas, everyone's shit, is totally inexperienced, totally incompetent.
In the Trump years, Trump himself has like 42 years of business experience.
His administration's median business experience was approximately 12, 13 years.
This administration, the median experience is, oh, zero.
There's that weird black woman who looks like a cockroach.
Jesus.
There's some fucking community organizer.
All of their experiences in government and community organizing.
Zero in economics.
Zero.
I want a guy who has five McDonald's under him.
Yeah.
That's who you want to do shit.
Like when we were shooting the fucking censored live show, you want a guy with like white hair who's fat and bored and has a love.
You don't want young people doing this shit.
You don't want inexperienced people.
Like that's the beauty of Western culture.
You get someone who's been doing this shit, whether it's investing, cutting hair, bartending, designing entire cities.
You want someone who's been doing it for 20 years.
That's the way it works.
Not interns.
Not interns.
Can you find that article, Ryan?
What are you fucking doing?
nose beers over there no no i was just i had a little um i don't even know what's called Boogie, like a boogie.
You had a boogie?
I just like sucked it up.
Well, if you have a booger, you go like this.
No, I don't peck.
That's it.
I shouldn't hear.
No, that's gross.
That's gross.
I'll admit the sound is gross, but picking around there.
So the way you deal with boogers is you make the same sound as you doing cocaine.
Yes.
So you inhale your boogers.
Well, no, it's like a little mucus.
You just kick it back.
But I guess not mucus, like, but not boogers, mucus.
All right, find this article, New YorkPost.com.
It's embarrassing.
Miranda Devine, who's a gift, a divine gift from Australia, I believe.
I don't think women can write.
Generally, they're the worst writers in the world.
All of my favorite writers are female.
That's not a contradiction.
Candice Millard, Ann Coulter, Miranda Devine, Naomi Schaefer Riley, all of my favorite writers are female.
Women can't write.
And liberals don't understand that.
They're like, that doesn't make sense.
Yes, it does.
You could say white men can't jump, and your favorite basketball players could be white males.
They're the exceptions to the rule.
Okay, look at this fucking article.
Go down a bit.
We're at 9.1%.
Look at this fucking fool.
Zoom out a little tiny.
So obviously the inflation problem is excessive fiscal stimulus, meaning printing money like it's garbage.
Zimbabwe ways, where we're going to have a fucking $1,000 bill soon.
But look at this.
Treasury Secretary Janet Yellen has zero business experience, having spent her entire life in academia and government.
That might explain why she was in denial about inflation for so long.
Keep going down.
Look at her.
And remember, what was it, AOC or someone?
Or Hillary Clinton was asked about the economy, and they go, well, we have a woman running the Federal Reserve.
That's something.
What?
This is the cockroach woman I talk about.
Doesn't she look like a bug?
I knew that was the cockroach woman.
Cecilia Rouse.
She is the chair of the Council of Economic Advisors.
She is in control of our economy.
Business experience?
Fuck all.
Zero.
We need a glue trap in the White House.
It's pretty cool they got that guy from Dead Presidents.
Kirby.
Kirby's in the cabinet.
This woman in bed with China, probably.
That's racist, but it's probably true.
And then this is my favorite.
Look at this woman.
What's her name?
Shalanda Young has no background in the business world, but look at what she's in charge of.
It might be down a bit.
Shalanda Young, who's never done anything businessy in her life.
Office of Management and Budget Director.
Where is that?
Right underneath her picture.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
Office of Management and Budget Director, controlling America's budget with zero experience in the business world.
Oh, that's everyone's the transportation czar.
There he is.
Alfred E. Newman.
Anyway, all right, let's go behind the paywall.
But before we do, we're going to read a couple letters and take a couple calls so you can see what Thursday nights are really like here at the Drunken Idiot Festival.
You are on the air.
This is a fucking loser.
You know, I'm here to learn, share, listen, understand why.
Hey, why does everyone get two things?
You have one thing.
Thank you for calling.
It's great meeting from you.
Bye-bye.
All right, next call.
Here's a letter called Thinking Men Can Change Their Mind.
Hey, Gavin Ryga, long time viewer and subscriber.
Recently, you were talking about how every now and again you learn something new and it changes your mind on said subject.
How an honest man may change his whole view when met with that new evidence is truth.
I believe that too.
You're not a real man unless you change your mind about something once a year.
Something major.
You should always be changing your mind.
I mean, you obviously have your foundations.
You want to be true to who you are.
And you're like, I will never stop believing in free speech and the Second Amendment.
But as far as nuance goes, when you get more information, you have to tweak your thing.
That's why debating is so healthy.
And that's why the left is outlawed it.
Because they don't want to be checked and balanced because they're wrong.
I have a BS in criminal justice, blah, blah, blah.
I don't care.
So where am I going with this?
Using NASA's own words, I plan to show: one, at a minimum, we didn't go to the moon.
Two, the earth is not what the mainstream tells us as in size and possible shape.
I didn't vet these letters.
Three, the earth is a creation, and the sun, moon, and stars revolve around us.
Well, we're getting right into the crazy, right out of the gate.
I started this research in 2016.
In the beginning, I was trying to debunk the whole flat earth concept.
If at all possible, leave your cognitive dissonance behind you and seek the truth.
I know you are highly intelligent and won't let prior misconceptions hinder your search for truth.
See, this is unfortunate because I'm trying to sell sensor.tv to new subscribers, and it looks like the loony bin over here.
So here's a quick 30-second vid for the show.
Oh, you get hide.
So it's a toy model.
It's a freaking toy model.
You know, this is the shuttle that you think exists.
And we got a guy in the background talking, you know, the guy that runs the model.
It's a freaking joke.
All right.
I guess we'll look into that later.
Tell Miami to bring her to the studio right now.
Yeah, you know what's fucking annoying?
He was in my phone as Miami Mike, and then this new thing updates it.
And now he's like Michael, whatever his real name is.
And I don't even know.
Like Tommy Fatso Jim.
I knew who that was.
Now it's Thomas Falticino.
I'm like, who the fuck is that?
Starts with a V.
Oh, yeah, I remember now.
That just reminded me of this, though.
That.
Well, she's probably gone by now, but that's an old.
This is a great channel of how they used to make movies and models for movies and stuff.
What's up, Gavin?
Hey, man.
What's up?
Are you still with Crazy Lady?
No, no, I left.
I went to go walk the dog.
She whipped her titties out.
How did she whip?
Like, what was the context to whip her titties out?
I don't know.
Came downstairs with the dog, and Donnie and Scotty came running out saying she just ripped her titties out, and Donnie said it was full of moles.
Yeah, she's got a lot of skin issues.
Yeah.
So she just pulled her tits out, like at the bar?
Yeah, she was sitting at the end.
I guess she just ripped her shirt up.
Holy Jesus.
What happened?
Was she kicked out?
No, she was still in there.
They went back in after a while.
Yeah, that's fine.
They probably like Europeans that way.
It's fine.
It's all right.
A little nipple.
But she loves pineapples.
Yeah, she's a big fan.
All right.
Thanks, man.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
What the hell?
Wow.
Oh, shit.
I guess we're not getting her.
I think we're going to get her next week.
The 90 seconds you pretended to do a bad show when Anthony went to piss was better than all the combined minutes Ryan has filled in for you when you walk off.
The end was fucking hysterical, by the way.
Thank you very much, sir.
How dare you?
That's yesterday.
Anthony Coome went piss, and he left the show to me, and I didn't do a good job.
I was very scared.
I had nothing to say.
Cognitive dissidents tour poster.
Here's a pretty cool fucking poster.
I think we might have a winner here.
Win and winner.
That's sick.
Win and winner chicken dinner.
Judas Priest vibes?
Oh.
The tour, which is the cognitive dissonance tour.
What do you think, guys?
It's not bad.
I've seen a lot of greats.
This one's pretty great, right?
Pretty great.
Pretty good.
All right, let's take a call.
Oh, right.
We've got Zane.
Zane the Brain.
775.
You're on the live.
What's going on, Zane?
How's it going?
All right.
You're there.
Get down to it.
Yeah.
Can you guys hear me?
Yeah, yeah.
Can you hear me?
Yes, just say you're asleep.
All right.
I just wanted to call in and thank you for about three months ago when I wrote in a letter.
You prayed for my son and my premature child back in April.
I don't know if you remember it or not, but you're the guy with the baby with the heart problem?
No, no.
He was born premature, and I just sent him like a quick message, the instant message.
Sorry, I'm at the gym.
And you just read it live, and you took a moment of silence for my kid and stuff.
And I just wanted to thank you for that.
But you know, it's pretty soon coming out here.
And it's awesome, man.
It's just a miracle.
And I just, anyone that doesn't have a kid needs to have one, you know?
Yep.
And I just feel really good and close to you about that.
Right up, buddy.
Thanks for thanking us.
All the best.
Have a good one.
Here's a funny letter.
Animal Crossing.
Dear Gavin, Ryguy, and Fatty Maddie.
It's hard to believe this video is real.
It's sad from start to finish.
Hiphonics getting bullied by his girlfriend, Consuela.
Sweetie.
You're not supposed to come in the room.
I'm guessing zodiac signs.
What's your zodiac sign?
Do you know mine?
You?
What do you.
What's your name?
And, sweetie, I'm going to.
Wait, what are you doing right now?
Are you playing Animal Crossing?
I was, but I have to stop it.
I can't see.
Okay, well, sweetie, I am going to.
Someone's been collecting.
And I'm going to collect the bait.
I'm finishing up the stream here.
We'll join the island, and we're going to manipulate the viewers to give us free things.
And I will find your glasses.
I don't know.
I love how there's like ball spots within your ball spots.
Like, don't move it.
You probably can tell.
You guys see how there's like more hair here, but then it's kind of another sparse area here.
It's just like a straw.
And then, like, if you observe over here, it's like a few spots that have more hair.
When he wasn't bald in that pub, he was still balding.
He had like an H here where you have hair here and like that.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like a balding age.
Here's a quill.
This is all good for business.
I'm going to play Ammo Crossing after this.
Will you join my island?
What a fucking waste of time.
God damn it.
Punch him in the face at least.
What a fucking absolute waste of time.
That was bad advertising.
It's ironic that he was just showing a bad, whatever, live stream thing, and it made us look bad because it was so boring and shitty and useless.
I'm going to respond to this guy right now and go, thanks for ruining the show, you faggot.
That was great.
Wait, what happened?
Go ahead, repeat that.
Hey, Gav, what's up, man?
Hey, man.
What's going on?
Hey, do you want to play a game called Cool or Gay?
Yes.
Okay, first one.
Bill Nye.
Gay.
Gay.
Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Gay.
Global warming.
Gay.
Definitely.
Sci-fi fantasy space travels.
Gay.
Richard Branson.
Gay.
I thought he was cool.
Elon Musk's aspirations to farm potatoes on Mars in a cave.
Gay.
Star Trek.
Gay.
Gay.
Not using Styrofoam because of the old Zown lady.
Gay.
Gay.
That's amazing.
You did great, dude.
Not one cool.
Not one cool thing?
You didn't.
Not one cool thing.
And that's what Flat Earth is all about.
And all your beliefs match up perfectly with Flat Earth people.
So I want to fuck you with my heels on.
All right.
Bye, buddy.
Here, let me show you something that I'm surprised I like.
I talked about this the other day.
And it was ISIS kids.
So this Jewish woman.
ISIS kids?
Yeah.
This Jewish woman approaches ISIS militants and she's like, hello, I don't want any problem.
I talked about this with Anthony the other day.
And I'm not a fan of Islam.
Oh, she has a death wish?
I'm definitely a Zionist.
But I love nationalism.
And I love people that love their own culture, even when their culture is garbage.
So when I saw this, my normal reaction should be, oh, Jesus, ISIS kids.
Fuck them.
They're terrible.
With a Jewish woman.
But they're worse than Bey's kids.
What?
They're worse than babies.
Yeah, she's like, what is she thinking?
She's going to get just shot in the head.
Yeah.
Jews, if you're in Israel, Jews, like when Ami Horowitz did that video where he went and interviewed Palestinians about homosexuality, he was breaking the law.
Jews are not allowed to be in Palestine.
Yeah.
But I don't know why I sympathize with these kids more than her.
A woman not wearing a hijab.
Yeah, it's called unity.
She's kind of sexy, too.
Is she terrible?
I guess she does, yeah.
You're a liar.
Like, I guess I'm saying, I wish our kids had this kind of loyalty and unity and nationalism.
Shame, shame.
You grew up.
What would you do to me if I don't wear hijab?
We'll kill you.
We will kill you!
Why would you kill me when I grow up?
With guns, we count the infidels.
We kill the infidels.
We'll slaughter you.
These are fucking eight-year-olds.
And then they start throwing stones.
I don't know.
Call me crazy.
I kind of like those kids.
They're indoctrinated.
Yeah, are they indoctrinated or are they loyal?
Well, they've patriotic kids.
They've learned what they lived.
Yeah.
Those kids are worse than Bae Bae's kids.
Kid.
Bae Bae's kids.
These are Bae Bae's kids.
This is LaShawn.
All right, let's, after that horrific anti-Semitic reference, let's end the free show, Go Behind the Paywall.
We'll be taking a lot more calls now that we're going behind the paywall.
And to all you freeloaders, I'd like to say please check out censored.tv.
It's 10 bucks a month and it's more content than you could possibly handle.
Probably five hours a day.
When I first started this, I said free content every day.
And it wasn't quite every day.
You had to sort of parse some to make it every day.
Now it's five hours a day.
So more content than you could possibly handle.
All totally honest, totally unfiltered, horrific, offensive.
We make mistakes, we correct them.
It's all over the map.
It's nothing like anything else in the media.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
Walk away!
You turn around and walk away.
If I catch any of you fuckers alone, I'm going to fucking kill you.
I'm gonna come.
Hold on, I'm coming.
In the beanie.
Good night.
All right, then.
Congratulations.
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