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July 12, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:30:33
S4E141 - THE BUTT BOYS
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Time Text
You guys, jump in.
Get in there with me.
There you go.
That's enough of that, Brian.
Turn that off.
It's pornography.
We don't watch porn.
Do we, God?
Were some white people enjoying Mup and Sad Friend, their hit single Vendetta.
But thinking about white people a lot recently.
Go to that email I sent you separately.
Britain is lost.
So who's going to take over from Boris Johnson?
Apparently, a lot of Indians, Pakistanis, blacks, women.
There are, what, one, two, three.
I'm covering one of the names there, Ryan.
There are one, two, three white males there in Britain.
And the first guy, Jeremy Hunt, he's got a Chinese wife, but we'll still count him.
Now, here's a controversial theory I was thinking about the other day, and it might be racist.
Is it possible that white males are better at systems?
I know you can't say anything good about white males.
You can say negative traits, like in Paris the Rapper's songs, he samples Elijah Muhammad saying, the white man is the greatest liar on earth.
The white man is the greatest troublemaker on earth.
I'm a fucking 19-year-old listening to it going, yeah, fucking so true.
You can say good things about other groups.
Black males have beautiful culture and loving families.
And, well, they don't really say loving families much, but they say that about Hispanics.
But white males, more than even white females, had to survive the winters of northern Europe when they traversed from Africa and on their way to America and the rest of Europe.
If you don't have a good system, you're dead.
I mean, watch Naked and Afraid.
Watch Alone.
Watch any of these survival shows.
You need a system.
And I was first struck by this when I was renting a snowboard.
We're at a film festival.
I think it was Aspen.
Speaking of which, I'm going to put the Brotherhood of the Traveling Rants for free on the site.
We bought the DVD.
It's unavailable anywhere.
So might as well make it free.
That's the kind of fun shit you get at censored.tv.
And I've told you this before, right?
I go in there, there's these iPads, you put in your name, you do the disclaimer, you say you go get your boots.
It's complicated getting a snowboard that fits you, the boots fit, the bindings are correct.
Is it Daffy?
Is it this way?
And are they insured?
Blah, blah, blah.
It's a lot of shit.
You would imagine it taking several hours.
It was an assembly line of different booths.
After I did the thing, I was in the system, and then it was go here to fit your boots, go here to get your board.
I was in and out of there on a busy day in 20 minutes.
Now, the odds are very high it was a white male who came up with that system.
I'm not saying white males are superior.
You're not allowed to say that.
I would never say that.
I hate white males.
They're jerks.
However, if you can have a pattern with the race and agenda, could it be that they have a knack?
Like, remember those little Indian guys?
What were they called?
The Gurkhas?
They were just great warriors, little midgets with swords.
They fought most of Britain's, not most, many of Britain's battles.
They just seemed to have a predilection for it.
Same with the Maoris, great warriors.
The Brits, New Zealand wasn't conquered.
New Zealand was negotiated by the Brits because they couldn't beat the Maoris.
And if that were true, which is probably not, I hate white males, then they'd make better politicians.
Because that's what politicians are.
They're systems guys.
And I know in my family of American Indians, they seem to have some trouble with systems.
For example, if my family's watching this right now, the towel situation has got to change.
You've got these dried towels on the racks, and then you put a wet towel on top of that.
Or you hang it on the door or on the shower door.
No.
Take the dry towel that's already on the rack, take it off, fold it, put it with the towels.
Now take your wet towel, put it on the rack.
It's a drying rack.
If something on the drying rack is dry, it served its purpose.
Fold it and put it away so wet towels can go there.
Every fucking day, I'm picking up wet towels off the floor or off the door or off the shower door.
I'm better at systems.
I said to my wife, the laundry is another fucking mess in our house.
And it's three kids and her, so it all gets messed up.
She's got to sort them all and then fold them all and put them.
I go, honey, the laundromat is in the South Bronx is $10 for a big bag.
Every kid gets a bag.
I don't give a fuck about the washer and dryer.
They fill that bag.
I take it to work.
It's done in a day, $10 a bag.
Every two weeks, we'll do the kids' laundry.
Even every week would be reasonable, right?
$30 a week.
I'd probably save that from the dryer bills that Con Ed is giving me.
My laundry, my heating bill, sorry, my electrical bill in my home is $50 a day.
At the studio, it's $25.
That's a system.
And I said, folding and organizing, which seems to take up about half your day every day, is gone from your life.
She's never seen my dirty laundry.
She's never seen my shit stained drawers.
The Chinese people have.
Who is going to be cleaning your toilet, Donald Trump?
Oh, that's in the sense that so we only if hypothetically this horrific detail was true that white males are better at systems Though those that list of candidates you have there is fucking dumb and the the Zimbabwean order that is going on in New York City right now where Eric Adams is just hiring black people black women based on the fact like you're talking about what I'm saying is racist Eric
Adams is racist.
He's hiring just based on race.
He's got the worst DA ever.
The reason that Bodega owner is facing life in prison for defending himself is because he got a woke DA just because the guy was black.
He's a rich black kid from Harlem.
And that's our DA.
He hired his brother because he said his brother was good at fighting white supremacy.
Like it's fucking third world.
And that's when you lose meritocracy, your situation declines rapidly.
Anyway, I've got some important news to start the day with.
We're not starting the show, though.
2-4.
I want to get this woman for a censored TV if she always agrees to be in this state.
This is how I want the news read to me every day by the kind of girls I used to bang in the bathroom at the bar when I was single.
Excessive heat.
And boy, don't you know that.
105 degrees in Texas today.
I just spoke with my mother.
That's what she's dealing with.
It's a major heat wave.
And it is a little bit more.
We're so lucky.
It's only 80 degrees here.
We are really lucky here in the Capitol region.
I'm really telling you about that.
These areas are reaching such areas.
I mean, it's Houston.
These areas are reaching such areas.
Wouldn't you love to be told the news like this every day?
I'm telling you that it's bad.
It's feeling like people are being told to like stay inside.
Wait, did you just wear it?
Go back.
After it's bad, did she go?
I'm telling you that it's bad.
It's feeling told to like stay inside, drink a lot of water.
And we were just lucky.
This weekend right here is so amazing.
Meteorologist Craig Adams is right here.
We're here.
Meteorologist Craig Gold is where we're here.
This isn't the one where she mentions dead people, though.
Where she's just like, so in Ohio, a kid died.
Her dad died.
Dropped dead as by the end of the day.
It was bad.
It was like, whoa.
I'm sorry, Craig Adams.
Why did I say that?
Of course, clearly, like here, we're taking a live look over downtown Albany.
And of course, just like me, we're all just Craig Gold is working a double shift.
And so he's in.
And we've been tracking this.
And we've been talking about just like what it's been like across the country and the different reasons why it's so hot in other areas.
And we're having really nice weather here.
So let's get over to Craig Gold.
What's his name?
Yep, Craig.
All right.
Good evening, Heather.
And yeah, the weather has been quite nice here.
He's like, you're fired.
Also, in important news, I think I've discovered the worst Instagram account in the world.
It took some research.
It took some time.
But I've discovered it.
And I'd like to share it with you.
You can maybe start with his full page.
This is 1.6.
You could start just with his general full.
Who the fuck is watching this guy?
His name is Kevin Burke.
And his most recent post, pull out so we can see them all.
Most of his posts are food and his various heart rates.
Go to the top left.
Like, he must be the most boring man alive.
Hand over hand?
You mean head?
Ugh.
So I guess his heart rate's going down.
Here's some data about, I guess, him working out on the treadmill, right?
Ugh, again.
Ugh.
I did a bunch of working out.
Don't let toxic masculinity keep you away from Dragon Link Peacock Princess.
Okay, this seems to be some sort of shitty, dumb, push-button one-armed bandit game.
That looks exciting.
He's having some shrimp for dinner at Bugsy and Meyer Steakhouse.
Oh, no, no.
Sorry, he ordered it.
That looks interesting, right?
Oh, he's got some steak there, too.
Dinner.
That's cool.
Here's some eggs he got.
Fucking Jesus.
Like, you ever travel sometimes and you're talking to people and you realize there are people out there that are unimaginably boring.
Humor's not in their life.
They don't think, they don't like jokes.
They don't even know why you would joke.
That's just telling a lie.
Keep scrolling, Ryan, so we can get excited about this guy.
And they watch the news with no opinion either way.
They go about their day.
They're bald.
And they post this to whom?
Is this for their doctor?
That's not gains, by the way.
That's losses.
You're losing weight.
What's going on?
Birthday gains.
No, it's not.
You've burned.
You're losing calories.
Gains are when you add muscle, right?
Correct.
50th anniversary of this iconic photo.
Look at that iconic photo.
Last time he had hair.
Biting a shitty cake.
We're the exact same age.
That's a nice steak, buddy.
Treat yourself.
Treat yourself, motherfucker.
He kind of talks a little fun.
Team minimal increments.
Is that spelt wrong?
Imagine getting him on the show.
Is increments spelled correctly there?
I think so.
Anyway, I just got tired.
He plays penny slightly.
I wish we can get a good look at him.
Look at him.
There he is with hair when he was younger.
He looks like Frankie McDonald without...
Who is that skinny nerd?
And what is he doing with my hair?
Throwback Fridays.
Goals, some fat chick.
Oh, there he is playing chess.
Hey, guys, want to go to Jamaica and play chess?
No, thank you.
I'd like to go to Jamaica.
Oh, here's the iconic photo again.
Wow.
There it is.
There it is, man.
It's back.
I guess he posts it every birthday of himself.
Like, what would you rather do?
Kiss a homo on the lips just or hang out with this guy for two hours.
What a weird set of tits he has.
Interesting.
Yeah, I mean, he kind of seems like one of those guys, like the friend who's quiet, that you could, you know, like try to get out of their shell.
And maybe one night when they're drunk, they're fun, and then they just go right back to you.
He's only fun because you're so wasted, he's tolerable.
Oh, I see.
To tolerate him, you'd have to be shit-face drunk.
How did they get pussy?
Why are women there?
I don't understand.
Go to the next picture, like on the, to the right there.
Me and the guys hanging out.
This is the takeaway lesson from here is if you are going to an event where there's a big table with lots of chairs, it's not a time to be polite.
It's not a time to go, whatever.
You sit down, I'll sit down, whatever.
I'm not worried about it.
Oh, he's gay.
Drag show.
Is he like a normal gay?
Frida Shallow.
Oh, whoa.
Learning a lot about this guy quickly.
Gays are usually...
You can say a lot of bad things about gay.
They're rarely boring.
Right.
Like the guys last night who were crying when they saw the Mexicans.
That was funny.
It wasn't boring.
Anyway, the lesson that you should gain from this is get aggressive about where you're sitting.
You know, when Trump elbowed that guy from Morocco or wherever it was, some dumb Balkans-like Eastern European country?
What was it, Madagascar or some shit?
You gotta fucking get in there.
Say you have a buddy who's a fun guy.
You match up with him.
It's like survivor.
And you go, we're sitting together.
We're sitting together.
Don't be nice.
Or you will get fucking trampled.
I'm usually pro-humble, pro-polite.
Let people in front of you sit in a minivan.
I'll go to the very, very back corner, take the shitty seat.
Other people, I regretted it when we were with Tommy Robinson in Britain, and I realized if a Molotov cocktail comes through this fucking minivan, I'm going to burn alive because we can't.
I'm three rows away from the exit.
But I won't take the front seat.
I'll give it to you.
But if it's a dinner, get aggressive or you will end up with Kevin Burke next to you.
And you're in for three hours of hell.
We have to avoid the Kevin Burks at all costs.
Where did you find that guy?
Just curious.
Long story.
It's boring.
We're not going to show this video because it's like, I don't know, an hour long, but you've got to see this on your own time.
Jim Brewer has gone from the baked guy where he looks stoned all the time and everyone laughs because he has weird eyes to a prophet.
Like, I'm sorry.
Please don't get mad at me, God.
But Jim Brewer's dad dying and his wife getting cancer, I think there's a chip in us that that which does not kill us makes us stronger.
He's like a better guy.
He's deeper.
He's wiser.
And it's horrible that your dad died, but he had a good run.
And it's horrific that your wife got cancer.
But God puts these checks and balances in.
Like the atheists always say, okay, there's a God.
Why did that guy's son get hit by a car?
The mom and the dad now are insisting there's a stop sign there.
And I know that I'm not saying the son has to die for a stop sign, but what I'm saying is for every action, there's an equal and opposite reaction.
And yes, it's horrific when people die, especially when they're innocent, especially when they're children.
But things come from that.
And that's why our lifestyles keep improving and we keep getting better.
Now, we're at a point now where it may be getting too good, and the lifespan for the first time since the beginning of civilization is getting shorter because we're also fucking fat and out of shape.
But we keep getting better and figuring out how to fix problems.
And Jim Brewer's just deep.
This is 1-7.
So pull back so people can see this.
It made me cry last night.
No, way back.
We want to see the title.
It's called Jim Brewer's Got Something Heavy to Say.
The Brewer Verse Podcast number 35.
What I'm about to put out there.
So so many people right now are obsessed.
Obsessed.
With the world events trying to drag you in.
Like a vacuum.
Okay, we can't just show a small segment.
So you got to see the whole thing.
He sets up stuff over a long period of time.
But basically, he says, get your head out of the Twitter verse and the minutiae of left, right, my body, my choice, COVID, all this shit that we talk about.
And just live your life.
And he said, when I found out my wife, who he's been with forever, who gave him three beautiful kids, when he found out she had cancer, his friend, who I think's an atheist, said, aren't you mad?
Like, don't you still think God exists?
And he's like, no, I'm grateful for every second we have together.
I'm grateful that I met her.
I'm grateful that I have kids.
It's a tear jerk.
Also in the news, you guys got to stop sending me people that you think have sprinkles, who don't have sprinkles.
I'm going to show you what sprinkles is, okay?
Here is a dude on the streets of New York.
It's going to make you love New York, too, who is at a 100% success rate.
Now, this could be a sizzle reel.
He may have edited out some stinkers.
But 100% of these do's and don'ts he does, don't come disrespecting me, are out-of-the-park home runs.
Check out this fucking dude.
Disrespect me just looking like that.
And don't ever disrespect me looking like a discombobulated ice tea, you hurt.
Don't ever disrespect me looking like the Mucinex Booger, you heard.
Never disrespect me looking like Methadone Jesus, you heard.
Don't ever disrespect me looking like an alcoholic Claire Huxtable, you hurt.
Disrespect me running from a don't ever disrespect me, you hurt.
Ever disrespect me with the long ass arms, you hurt.
Don't ever disrespect me looking like William Dafoe with alapiza, you hurt.
Don't ever disrespect me looking like an Egyptian sugar daddy, you hurt.
Never disrespect me looking like a can of barbasol, you hurt.
Holy chocolate.
Don't ever disrespect me trying to pull off a workers' compensation scheme, you heard.
Don't ever disrespect me like you permanently sucking on a lemon.
Hey, yo.
Don't ever disrespect me looking like Ray Romano's brother, you hurt.
Never disrespect me being scared of the sun, you heard.
Never disrespect me eating a beef patty.
Hey, yo.
What you want?
Yo, don't ever disrespect me looking like a fucking bus boy on his day off, you heard?
Disrespect me just looking like that.
That is so accurate.
Fucking quality sniper.
Talk about the opposite of Kevin Burke.
Who would you rather sit with on a plane, Kevin Burke or that guy?
A barbershop can.
Holy shit.
Actually, no, the plane would be fine because you'd be hanging out, but the best would be the gate.
Just sitting with him at the gate.
Yeah.
Okay, I've got another important thing to discuss.
2-3, this guy is stuck in traffic.
People are taking...
Well, here, I'll just show you the clip.
Stop and go traffic.
People were using the breakdown lane to cut everybody, right?
Until I stopped them.
I moved out into the breakdown lane, and I am moving with the regular flow of traffic.
These ladies right here, we gave each other the thumbs up, right?
I'm acting as a roadblock of justice.
We got a big SUV behind us, keeps flashing his lights at me, honking his horn.
Not gonna lie, it's a little intimidating, right?
But I'm not moving.
You gotta play by the fucking rules.
Not all heroes wear capes.
Shut the fuck up.
Okay.
Stop.
So let's ask Detective Shitty where he is on these things because he's always wrong.
So I'm just gonna choose the opposite of what he says.
And remember, you come to this show for information.
I have to have done my homework so I can help impart wisdom to you so you don't have to go look it up.
But this is the one time you've tuned into the show and I don't have the answer.
Let's see if Ryan does.
Is that guy a douche, snitch, bitch, or a butt boy?
I'm not sure what a breakdown lane is, so I can't even weigh in on this.
Is that just like the shoulder?
Was this a joke?
Nope.
Breakdown lane.
Well, it might be a lane where you go if your car breaks down.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, it's in the name.
Yeah, I think he's a hero.
I think he's doing the right thing.
I think you should abide by the rules.
As a butt boy, I think that he did the right thing.
Well, I know what I'm sure of.
If we're on a plane and someone's trying to get out before me that it is from a roll behind me, I'll die on that hill.
I sacrificed my wife to this.
She was trying to get before the thing.
I was like, no, no, no, no.
Let them go first.
She was like, yeah, but they're sitting there.
It doesn't matter.
They're sitting because they're waiting their turn.
And I was like, so your own woman, your own wife is a butter?
She tried.
Not on my watch.
No, not on my watch.
I would kill my wife if she butted.
I actually did.
You killed your wife?
Yes.
I'm a single father.
Okay, so ladies, we got a single dad here.
If you want to send in your resumes.
Oh, no, I'm going to stay.
So, yeah, so that's an easy one.
We're living in a society, blah, blah, blah.
But if someone wants to cheat and take the breakdown lane, I don't know, man.
It's a gamble.
And if you want to, because you could get caught, it's a big fine.
So if someone wants to cheat like that, I don't know.
I think I'm going to go against Detective Shitty and say that was a bitch move.
First of all, there's a possibility there's an emergency and someone's having a heart attack.
So that's one reason you don't block those people.
But it's like someone wants to cheat and break the law.
It's against the law to do that.
I don't know.
Speaking of planes, there was another time when I saw someone had left.
This is back when you would watch a DVD on a little machine.
It had a little screen.
It was like a mini DVD player, right?
And this is before you'd have your computer and you'd have rented movies there and all that stuff.
And DVDs were popular.
So I'm going way back here.
I might be going back 15 years.
And we were all leaving the plane.
We were from the back of the plane.
And this guy gets closer to first class, this black guy, and he sees that they left their DVD movie player there.
And he grabbed it and put it in his thing and ran out.
Now, I was of two minds about that.
I still am to this day.
It's bothered me ever since.
On the one hand, I thought I should fucking say, hey, this guy just stole a DVD movie thing.
Stop him, stop him.
No one would have done anything.
Airports are fucking full of assholes who don't give a shit.
But then that also feels like a snitch move, a bitch snitch move.
I don't know the person that he robbed, so it's none of my business.
I'm actually leaning now that I bring this back more to the original idea, which was, uh, don't be a snitch.
Sorry, you left your thing on the seat.
I mean, no one would have done anything.
I'd have to tackle him.
No, you're right.
Because I had to get to work.
You know, I woke up.
He was black.
I woke up late.
I had to get to work.
No, no, not the DVD player, but the breakdown lane.
Oh, you had to get to work in the breakdown lane?
If I'm late again, Bach gonna fire me, and now I can't do nothing.
Yeah, like, I don't know why I'm so obsessed with airports this episode.
I guess we'll call it the airports.
But if you're in line to get on the plane and someone's flight is about to leave, I'm annoyed that you waited so long to get here.
But fine, go ahead.
Go ahead.
I don't call that budding.
Yeah, we had to.
We did that for these people going to Barbados.
Like a four-person black family with witchcraft items made of wood.
Here's an easier example.
Go to 2.7.
This guy just goes into a store and he just starts grabbing shit and you think, just punch him in the face, please.
Like kick him in the head.
In the good old days, in the 80s, especially in somewhere like Texas, they would just fucking tune this guy up.
But we're all scared of getting sued or being criminally charged.
So Wawa in Fishtown has to take the hit.
Go ahead.
Like we're all in a society participating.
And he's just like, no.
No, this is different than the breakdown lane risk, right?
Look, she goes up to him.
Ah, fuck it.
Finally, this working-class guy in the high-viz goes, what are you doing, man?
He just shakes his head.
And he's like, I probably should get out of here.
See, I'm morally torn about this.
No, there's no question here that this is wrong.
No, it's wrong.
But who is he taking from?
These corporations that poison us with their little treats?
What, Reese's pieces and halls?
Yeah.
Chiclets Corporation?
They don't need the money.
I don't have beef with Reese's.
They're killing us, so who cares?
So that's different than the breakdown lane, obviously.
Like, that guy, you should tune him up just because that's not a rule you break.
The thing with the breakdown lane is it's not really hurting anyone, per se.
And the butting-in-line thing, you're hurting other people.
You're cheating.
You're taking their spot.
All right, this is a weird show.
Are we pro-Robin Hood?
Was Robin Hood kind of an asshole?
Well, it's all about context.
I mean, back then, you had these lords that were strangling the peasants and demanding all kinds of stupid taxes.
And you couldn't own land in England back then.
You had to rent it from a lord.
What if there's people stealing gas?
Stealing gas.
Does this seem like a moral?
No, a gas station is suffering from that.
Good point.
Where are they stealing it from?
Like a Costco gas station.
Is this person you're talking about Puerto Rican and Japanese?
No.
Japanese and Puerto Rican.
No, I don't steal gas.
Yeah, how do you steal this gas?
Well, here's the thing.
What about Michael Frances?
What's with your fucking hair?
Grew.
Your hair is in your eyes.
You know who does that?
15-year-old girls, goth girls.
I'm a father.
I'm taking it back.
You're a grown man.
This is 1970s.
Yeah, 1970s children.
No.
Teens.
Charles Bronson had bangs.
Charles Bronson's hair wasn't in his fucking eyes.
There we go.
So Michael Francais, he didn't steal gas, but he took all the tax money from the gas.
So he was making about like $4 million a month on stealing just from the government, supplying people gas, cheaper gas.
He was in the mafia.
He's a guy who got out of the mafia, and he's clean now.
He goes around talking about it.
You've probably seen a couple of his videos online.
Is that morally wrong, just stealing directly from the government?
Because I don't really think so.
I'm not really hurt by that idea.
How do you do that, though?
He got shipments of gas, and instead of taxing it, he evaded the taxes and was going under the government radar, essentially.
So he was privately selling gas to gas stations?
Yeah.
That he stole?
Yeah.
Well, someone's got to pay for that somewhere down the line, and it's not going to be the government.
I think it's going to be the insurance companies.
It's not as simple as the government just goes, oh, well, we'll take a hit on this one.
Yeah, right.
That's true.
Okay, I think we're ready to start the show.
Right?
Yeah, let's do it.
Okay.
Here we go.
We start the show.
Let's start the show.
What a weird, all-over-the-place intro that was.
Correct.
It was very confusing.
We talked about morality and white supremacy in the field of systems.
Strange.
Strange.
I think if I was a professor, the students would be walking out of that class going, what the fuck just happened?
All right, let's start the show with some good old-fashioned racism.
I'm a black female.
What other different, what else could I have done to piss you off?
Black woman?
This is really inconvenient.
Ben Stein is not happy about black crime in Beverly Hills.
Now, he's a very politically correct dude.
He once had a big fight with Anthony because on Opie and Anthony, Anthony said, Jew me down.
Talking to you.
Oh.
Do you remember that?
I think so.
I also remember they hung up on him straight out.
No, he hung up on them.
Then there was another time where they're like, we have Ben Steinle on the back of the bottom.
What is with your hair has gone back?
You readjusted it?
They were like, what did you do?
So after you went away, you started fluffing your bangs again?
I think it fell into place.
It fell?
Your fucking jufro fell?
If we time-lapse it.
It's not falling, and it's been about three days.
They hung up on him?
Yeah, it was his birthday.
They're like, Ben Stein on the line.
It's his birthday.
And he's like, hi, guys.
And just Opie just hangs up on him.
They're like, Thanks, Ben Stein.
That's funny.
Opie did something funny?
That was his bit.
Either throwing shit, getting stuff from people, and then breaking it, or hanging up on them.
Oh, wow.
Or stomping cakes of homeless people.
That sounds hilarious.
Opie the destroyer.
So let's see what Ben Stein has to say about black crime in Beverly Hills.
Jesus, he is melting.
Someone turn on the AC.
Look at him.
He's a fucking melting ice cream cake.
How dare you disrespect me about being an ice cream cake melting?
I'm doing you right now on the three days after Christmas in the lobby of the Beverly Hills Hotel, one of the most beautiful hotels in the world as far as I'm aware.
And I want to talk about crime.
When I moved here in 1976, this was a very safe city.
And Beverly Hills was one of the safest places in that city.
In fact, I think for a large city, it was probably the safest city in the United States of America.
And that's changed dramatically.
And here's what's going on.
For some reason, which would take a lot of explaining, but it could be explained, the government decides to basically stop punishing black people who commit crimes.
And black people can commit crimes and not be prosecuted for it.
Yes, they're embarrassed, at least to a small extent.
And yes, their parents are mad at them.
But they do not get away with anything less than murder.
And this is a shocking thing.
This is a very bad thing.
So we have gone from a city where people are happy, they go around with their doors unlocked, to fear.
And we have become a city of fear.
And that is an extremely bad city.
I think he's exaggerating.
We have some footage of some kids outside of his house just hanging around, having fun, 3-1.
And it doesn't seem that bad.
I mean, it's not threatening.
It's just not a great neighborhood.
I'm frying his ass in his fry Oreo head ass.
Can't anyone bother getting dressed?
They're just not nude.
That's their goal for the day.
This being not nude.
Now, that was in St. Louis.
Check out like that's a serious cultural problem there.
And in San Francisco, you can almost see how you would get to be that aggressive and shitty, 3-0, when this is the world you're living in.
All right, kids coming home.
They're on a public school bus in San Francisco.
All right, get home safe, kids.
Your nice walk home.
What's up, kids?
Oh, they're making gun signs.
Boop, boop, pop, pop, pop.
How do they get so aggressive?
Where are they growing up?
What's the neighborhood like?
The neighborhood is actually in a third world country full of zombies.
Look at that shit.
Look at that fucked up dude.
Hiding their faces.
You don't have to hide your face.
You don't have anyone who cares about you.
This shit is crazy.
You gotta walk.
Look at his fucking dumb face.
They gotta walk through that.
It's crazy, yo.
It's crazy.
What an irritating white affectation.
And then we, so that's the situation these African Americans are in, and they've decided to blame it on cops.
I just want to show you what cops are doing in the interim while everyone calls them pieces of shit.
We do blacks behaving badly.
Let's do some cops behaving well.
Here they are, 3-2, rescuing people from a burning building.
They're jumping into the cops' arms.
Look at that.
Like you're risking broken limbs when you catch a person from what appears to be about 15 feet, 20 feet.
Let go, let go.
What a great camera person.
Oh, shit, it's little kids.
Look at those pigs.
Defund the police.
We don't need cops.
Just get like a trampoline.
Bouncy castle.
Let's replace cops with bouncy castles.
And then this chorus 3-3, getting a man from a burning car.
And the thing about pulling a man out of a burning car is that car could go at any second.
So, I mean, if this guy hates you, when he was a kid, he was spitting on you in his underwear, talking about your ugly-ass shoes and saying, fuck you, bitch.
But when you're in trouble and your car's on fire, we're here to help.
Look at this shit.
Like, any second now, that could be boom.
And it's not a small fire either.
How can you, you can't get out.
I got to drag your big fat ass out.
And then finally, this one's much longer.
Look at this Waste of space.
So he's got expired plates.
He doesn't want to, I don't know, pay the $100 fine.
So he decides to go on a fucking raging chase.
Is that the beginning?
Yep.
Jesus, our drone shots are getting pretty good, aren't they?
What's that?
Two miles in the air?
Hey, buddy, I got it.
No, no, your plate.
Yeah.
So he goes, just, I'm going to beat the cop.
And how many people's lives are you putting in danger, by the way, when you start, when you take off at 100 miles an hour?
There's a kid on a bike?
He's dead.
That didn't happen, but it could have.
All of that incoming traffic putting their lives in jeopardy?
For what?
Because you didn't get your fucking license plate renewed?
You didn't register your vehicle?
It's not expensive.
It's not hard rules here.
Illegals do it.
Look, uh-oh.
I'm going to overtake this guy.
Okay.
Risking all this oncoming traffic.
It's a double yellow.
The fleeing driver was headed north to the South Ben Leys.
To swerve to avoid being struck.
That person could have been dead.
Could have been killed.
Uh-oh.
Putting all those lives in danger.
Is this long?
I want him to crash.
What a job they have.
Like, I got to deal with this human garbage now.
Now he's going the wrong way in the wrong lane.
So, inevitably, he's going to have to swerve out of the way.
Are you fast-forwarding or are they?
They.
So we're going and going.
I would say about 20 lives in jeopardy so far.
And he's off.
Loses control of the vehicle.
Now this cop is risking a head-on, by the way.
Like, he's lucky that guy stopped.
Look at the debris.
What a fucking waste of humanity.
This is the best argument for abortion I've ever seen.
And now you're risking getting shot.
They will shoot at cops.
Just pause that for a second.
Can we come back to it?
Go to 3.5.
This is life in New York City these days.
They just shoot at cops because they're not going to go to jail.
Why not?
Fucking shoot at a pig.
I fucking hate pigs.
They're not catching me.
They can't arrest me if you're dead.
Wait, is this the right one?
Was this 3.5?
Oh, shit.
I think Ian Miles Chong had it.
Did he?
Yeah, he said something like, so people just shoot at cops.
They're not getting cops now, yeah.
Well, anyway, you find that and go back to the first video where the guy's now worried about getting shot because that happens all the time in these chases.
The guy obviously is determined not to go to jail.
So if anyone's going to shoot you, it's going to be someone at the end of a high-speed chase.
That's what just happened with these riots in, where was it now?
Akron, Ohio?
Where the guy gets out.
He's a mask on.
He's already shot at cops.
So he says, I want to see your hands.
He's claiming no injuries, but keep them rolling.
Let me back up now.
Why are you running from me?
The plates were just expired.
Give me hands where I can see them.
I'm fine.
Please let me get out.
Please help me.
I don't know.
I'm going to try, man.
I'm going to try.
All right.
I swear to God, I ain't got no good or no shit.
I swear to God.
All right.
Are you able to move?
Stop being fat, everyone.
Slide over this way.
Slide your upper half over here.
How the fuck did his leg get up?
We're going to need extraction.
Oh, it must have.
I bet it rolled a bit.
Or maybe even did a 360.
I don't want you getting too badly hurt, man.
Way to go, 39-year-old grown man.
Yes, it was.
Look at the damage you've caused.
What hurts?
Because you didn't want to register your fucking vehicle.
These cops are really just daycare workers for adult babies.
Wait, move it forward a little bit.
Turn your body.
Turn your body and start scooting.
Come on.
We need to get you out.
Come on.
Keep coming.
Wait, wait, go back, go back.
He's moving like a torpid sloth until the guy goes, uh-oh, your car's on fire.
Shit, come on.
Scoot this way.
Your car's on fire, man.
Come on.
Oh, shit.
My car's on fire?
Okay, I'm springing to life.
Start.
Turn your body.
Turn your body and start scooting.
Come on.
Get out.
Keep going.
Keep coming.
Get out, Bismarck.
Keep coming.
Beatbox your way out of there.
I got you.
Oh, gorgeous ass.
That was like Lizzo.
Look, he's about to explode, and his first part is to pull his pants up.
Stand up, boss.
Don't worry about your pants.
Give me your hands.
Get away from this car.
Oh, don't worry about your power.
Look, they could all be killed if the car blows up.
And he's sitting there pulling his pants up.
We can see your bottom, sir.
It's okay.
What is this move now?
Like, that's how you would treat a baby.
Right?
It would lie on its back and you'd have to get it up.
Did you get the thing?
I got a couple.
Here's one.
This is brand new.
At least five shot, one fatally overnight in New York City.
Nope.
Okay.
Two killed.
And shoot us with NYPD officers on the hedge man.
That's the one we can't find.
The particular NYPD cop being shot at within the past three days.
I'm not criticizing you.
I'm saying there's so many.
There are a lot.
I remember it looked like the Bronx.
Yeah, it looks like our neighborhood.
Wait, this is it.
Oh, good.
We're like ghost hunters, but it's clips of black shooting cops.
Were you tired of doing our partner running around?
Whoa.
Wait, you gotta hear the audio.
They're laughing like they're watching a funny video game, which I guess they are.
He really shot at the cops.
I don't know if he fell after being shot in the head, dead, or if he fell after being shot in the vest, or if he's diving.
I know that those guys think it's funny.
Okay, this is something I've been meaning to get to for a while.
It is so good.
Woman King, featuring a 57-year-old woman as an athletic warrior, and it's about a tribe called the Dahomey tribe.
Down with Dahomies.
Now, the thing about Dahomies is, in Africa, they invented slavery.
They rounded up.
They were a conquering tribe.
They were a nomadic tribe.
I'm sorry about this.
I've had a cough like a tickly cough.
So has my wife ever since we got COVID.
Thanks, China.
Thanks for declaring war on the world and starting a global pandemic that has cost us trillions.
It's cost us cultural shifts.
It's cost us childhoods.
It's cost us friendships, relationships with our families, millions of deaths.
And we go, well, we can't blame China.
Yes, I blame China.
Well, that's going to cause Asian hate.
No.
When you see a Chinese American, you high-five him.
You made it out of that shithole.
Congratulations.
Welcome to the West.
Fuck, the way that we fucking let China, Biden just keeps agreeing with these people, this country that has declared war.
Remember what was World War I?
Some dude with a fucking fancy mustache got popped and the whole world had to pay?
This is a little bigger than Baron von Schnoopenpants, who started World War I. Anyway, this tribe, a conquerors, is that a word?
A colonialist tribe, evil tribe.
That's the funny thing about African history, too.
They're all just like, please don't shoot.
Why do you eat the poo-poo?
No, no, no.
I want to be friends.
I'm just sitting here playing with lions.
No, there was like three main tribes and then a bunch of smaller tribes.
But one of them was the equivalent of what everyone calls the white colonists.
They dominated the whole continent.
And not only would they kill everything in their past, but they would convert them to slaves and then sell them.
That was their trade.
That's their history.
That's the Dahomies.
This movie just neglects that part and makes them the victims.
And the white man, the bad guy, there to steal slaves.
So this movie's crazy because in this world, which if it were to be true, the white man would be buying slaves from this bitch.
What's her fucking name again?
The queen of Blackding?
Play it.
The woman king.
Queen's not good enough, anyone.
An evil is coming.
A customer, you mean?
That threatens our kingdom.
Our freedom.
Ding-dong.
Hi, we're open for business.
They are not prepared for white unicorn pegasus, whatever.
My king.
Look at these customers coming to buy us products.
They will not stop until the whole of Africa is theirs.
We must fight back for our people.
The fact that a woman older than me is portrayed as an action hero.
What's her name again?
I have no idea who that is.
Yes, you do.
Oprah?
Oh, that's fucking...
She was in Hidden Figures.
She did that movie Denzo Washington.
She's like the number one black actress in the country.
I got it.
This is such horseshit.
You know why they used women?
Because they were such a savage, murderous tribe that the men were dying.
So they started training women, just like the Japanese towards the end of World War II.
Viola Davis.
What's her name?
Viola Davis.
That's it.
Well, who is that?
Eyebrows McGillicuddy?
Oh, that was the new James Bonchick.
Damn, that is.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
She's terrible.
That is homely.
And do you know why the Dahomey had a real problem with the white man, the British?
Guess why they've really felt threatened.
In reality, I'm not talking about the movie.
Because the British said, guys, we've got to stop it with the slavery shit.
You're murdering other tribes and you're selling them as slaves.
It's ethically wrong.
It's morally wrong.
Fuck you.
I think there was a quote about it where he said, the king of the Dahomis said, I can't believe they're called Dahomis.
He said, it is a culture to dominate our enemies and turn them to slaves.
If we are to take that away, you take away our culture.
I mean, we're rewriting history here.
It's fucking insane.
This is the opposite of what happened.
No, we're going to keep getting slaves.
Just check out the Wikipedia of Dahomis.
D-A-H-O-M-E-Y.
What a fucking ridiculous pile of shit.
Alright, that's some fun stuff.
Let's do a brief...
Dahomey Amazons.
Shall we do this now?
What are we?
There's another...
Oh, look at this.
This must be another trailer for something else.
This is.
Yeah.
Dahomey's tribe.
This is the modern day.
I guess it's inspiring that they're lineage kind of.
Yeah.
Kind of keeps.
I had more.
I think it's time for the mailbag.
Okay.
Yeah.
We'll see what Dahomey's wrote into us.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes together.
Let me touch it.
Ryan, shut up.
You don't have a fag.
Thank you.
Someone telling us the in the beginning video is fake.
Yes, we're aware.
We've covered that.
Very sad.
A lot of people send me shit that we've covered.
Or bands.
You should check out this band.
And it's like, yeah, we talked about them for an hour one day.
To be fair, I don't think we brought that to the show.
The Beningang.
That was just us.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Okay, well, then...
Are you sure?
Yeah, it was just you and me in the office.
Oh, okay.
I should stop talking to you and Anthony because I'm getting confused about what was said on the air and what was said in private.
What's shooting, what's at work?
Like the last time I went with Anthony after the Wednesday show, I'm just like, this is all, we're wasting gold.
Yeah.
Wasting gold.
We should talk about...
Whenever we're on the loan with Anthony, I'm like, let's just talk about our finances, how many subscribers we have, how to get that up, our job, like how to make the shows better.
Things that I know we wouldn't have said on air.
No, think, because you know what happens?
You say something fat ass?
You say something really, really funny, and you're like, all right, we have to air that out.
I don't care if it's private.
That's a great fun.
And then there's nothing less funny or fun than saying something funny and going, that's good.
I got to write that down.
Yeah.
By the way, I said our girlfriends because he doesn't have a wife.
I don't have a girlfriend.
Calm down.
Right, right, right.
Okay, he's got a clip of what it's really from.
Okay.
This is in the beginning.
In the beginning, we announced that our membership figures stood at 769,800,
listen properly, 769,820,000.
And seven members down from 100.2 million in 2012.
Wait, it went down from 100 million to 700,000?
That's quite a drop there, Jacob.
Yeah, he doesn't do much better when things aren't being recorded.
Holy shit.
The top pre-orders, I just got this from the guy who did Alex's War, in the country right now are Top Gun, Maverick, Jurassic World, Justice League, Alex's War, Elvis, and Man of God.
The budget for Alex's War was definitely under a million dollars.
Jurassic World was, I think, $160 million.
And it sucked.
Oh, it sucked?
Oh, my God.
Yeah, Jurassic was $150 million.
Isn't that fascinating?
It used to be the more money you spend on a movie, the better it is.
Nope.
And that's one good thing about the pandemic.
We got so used to Zoom calls and everything, we don't demand super cinematography.
Oh, God, I just got mad.
That fucking movie, that lie, Woman King, is going to cause more knockout games, more anger, more racial division.
Imagine it was true.
You could have totally fucking recalibrated a million myths and shown people what slavery was really all about.
It was an African thing.
We dipped our toes in it because it was there, but it was Jews, Arabs, blacks.
It was Middle Easterners doing it.
They're still doing it now.
You can go to Libya, get a man for 400 bucks.
You're guilty of cultural appropriation at best.
Yeah.
You took a culture away.
And when we tried to tell you to stop, you fucking got real mad, especially Dahomey.
Dog fucker, if your bucket list contains blowing prairie dogs, schedule a show near Denver.
Oh, that's some good advice.
That is one thing I intend to do before I die is perform fellatio on a prairie dog.
Sucking on a prairie dog.
To fruition.
And I'm going to be playing Jack and Diane in the background.
Here's a submission for our cognitive dissidents competition by my buddy.
I don't like how big Ryan is.
Makes him look equal to these legends.
Here's a really good.
I think we have a winner.
Yeah, this one's great.
This is amazing.
Sorry, Chris.
At the maven.
Whoa.
Come pick up your prize money at the door, sir.
You nailed it.
They're grooming our kids.
I didn't believe this until I did it.
Go onto Instagram.
Onto is not one word, my friend.
And search the word Fortnite.
Now go to accounts.
Okay?
Should we bother doing that now?
How are we doing?
Fortnite, no results.
Isn't that how you spell it?
Yeah?
No results?
Fortnite.
How could Fortnite have no results?
What are we doing wrong?
Are the kids spelling it wrong?
How do you spell Fortnite?
I thought they spell it with a T. Yeah, it's F-O-R-T-N-I-T-E.
Yeah, let me check on the other computer.
Could be some bullshit going on.
Uh-da-ba-da-ba-dee.
She did stab him.
Yes, we covered that.
Maybe hashtag first?
Usually something comes up, Fortnite, and then go to accounts.
But now we're following the hashtag.
Still no result.
Oh, there we go.
What the fuck?
How did they go to accounts?
Oh, yeah, that's wrong.
Huh.
Huh?
Maybe horrors are just...
They just know that people are going to watch that.
Oh, so it's OnlyFans Girls or something?
Click on that girl below Max Headroom.
Pornhub.
And where are the tags?
Can't see them?
I guess they're metadated.
What is going on here?
This is weird.
No, it looks like these chicks aren't even tagging Fortnite.
Indians, of course.
Well, you're going to get those.
Yeah, there's nothing Fortnite-y about that.
It's weird while I'm researching pedophilia, I'm also going, nice tits.
All right.
Did I show you that in Fortnite?
Last I saw, pretty recently, it said there's like a call me, there's gestures like in dances and stuff, and then one of the gestures is call me, and then under the subtitle is seriously, send me a DM.
What are you talking about?
So it's like it's getting kids.
So there are things you could do, gestures.
Like if we're in a team or something like that, I could gesture like this.
And that means like DM me.
And these are all like, in the target market's like 14, right?
Huh.
So they're encouraging kids to...
Now, just to play devil's advocate, because I don't want to believe that they're trying to fuck kids everywhere.
Maybe they're trying to get kids to come to their OnlyFans so they can charge them.
And they know teenage boys are horniest, so they're going for teenage boys.
Abes, please.
Perhaps this is ancient Chinese secret, but here is yet another reason China will prevail against the West.
They limit three hours a day if you're under 18.
We are completely and indefinitely screwed.
They send us drugs and basically run our economy and ruin the West, but ensure they will prevail by setting rules and regulations such as these.
This is under China will win.
Yeah, I mean, it's good to not play online video games during the week, but I don't want the government doing my parenting because the government we have right now is run by retards.
So that could be bad.
But yeah, I was thinking, why don't we do this?
Why don't we have a screen-free day?
What do you say?
You and me?
Yeah.
Meaning between us, we don't allow ourselves to watch screens.
Yeah, well, we obviously need it for work and stuff.
But you mean you, me, and all the baby monsters.
We try to have a day where we don't use screens.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not on my screens very often.
I gotta be honest.
When I'm on the toilet, that's when I catch up with my texts and all that shit.
I don't like to be on my phone.
Well, you're also fall asleep listening to podcasts.
That counts.
Oh, okay.
That's true.
No podcasts.
No phone.
You can only use your phone for...
Oh, Jesse Lee Peterson.
Hey.
Wow.
I'm a partoon.
It's amazing.
That's not really what we're talking about right now.
Should we make it Tuesdays?
Because I don't really need to be doing research for tomorrow's show if tomorrow's show is compound media.
Well, then people can't watch the show.
Although I should know what I'm talking about when I'm talking to Anthony.
What about Thursdays?
Well, Thursdays, we have a live show, so technically you're a screen, Gavin.
No, but I don't...
I'm saying I need my phone and to be looking at Twitter for my job.
So I'm thinking of a day where I don't need it for my job.
And then we could all talk about it.
Yeah, let's do...
They want to have stuff for Friday?
Okay, why not the weekend?
Like a Sunday?
Because we want to be able to talk about it.
Okay, let's do this.
Screen-free Tuesdays?
Thursdays.
No, but then I want to be with my family if I'm Mr. No Screens.
Right.
They go to bed around that time.
Okay, let's do Thursdays.
So from now on, folks, we're going to do no screen Thursdays.
All right?
Except for this show.
Except for this show.
Yes, you can watch the show on your screens.
And obviously you need a screen.
You need to have your phone on you.
Your family can call you.
So what we're going to do is, it's a competition to use your phone and look at screens for as little as possible.
Now, if you're at work, you're allowed to look at your computer.
That's dumb, right?
You're not going to say, I can't do work today.
So if it's for work, that's fine.
But as far as just like scrolling through Instagram and Twitter, no.
And that includes shits.
That includes when you wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is reach for your phone and go, and that includes falling asleep going, see how much you can do.
Oh, and then we can talk about it Thursday night.
Yeah, that'll be a fun new addition to the show.
On Thursdays, when you call in, you talk about how you felt when you went for a walk and instead of looking at your phone, you spoke to your spouse or your kids or your daddy or
cop command respect?
Look at this fucking thing.
I'm gonna actually text it to a real full-size cop a real full-size cop who's a fucking beast and a golden gloves champion.
She is not in her homie tribe.
You better have a gun, lady.
She's got to be a lesbian, right?
With that many tattoos.
What the fuck are we doing?
When I was a kid in Scotland, there were zero cops under, say, 6'5.
They were all Highlanders genetically, and they were all fucking giants, and you were scared shitless of them.
If one of the cops came to your school because you were a bad boy, you would just see this giant beast and shit your pants and never be a bad boy again.
Fuck me.
Um.
What's this now?
These are things I haven't read yet.
I thought I was all caught up.
You guys keep talking about all these events, and I can't find a single page about any of it.
Could never find WestFest.
Had no idea how to find the upcoming events.
No one ever replies to these emails as well.
Where on earth do I get these tickets?
That's a good question.
Right now, we only have the...
Is it the Dallas show solidified?
Yeah.
And we haven't even started pushing it yet because it's months away.
Can you show them the link for the event, Bright, Ryan?
How do we get there?
I'm going to find it right now.
In the meantime, look at this cool graphic.
That's totally cool.
Doesn't mean much.
Maybe Josh Denny has it pinned on his page?
That's what I'm looking for.
It's got music, too.
Here we go.
Go to Josh Denny's Twitter.
Tickets for Censored Live in Dallas, Texas are now on sale.
Get yours today.
I'm going to push it more in a bit.
We've got to hammer out all the details, but it's not like the store is all fucking...
Eventbrite.com.
Go to eventbrite.com slash E slash censored dash live dash Dallas dash Texas dash tickets.
Dash, fuck you.
I'm pretty sure if you search on Eventbrite, let me see.
Censored live.
Patton Oswalt movie about cat fishing his son.
Yeah.
Pardon?
Oh, by the way, if you search in a search engine, Censored Live Dallas Eventbrite comes up.
Sup, faggots.
I've been attending these public screenings or films in Brooklyn, and they've had a few interesting films.
First, there's this film called The Law Enforcement's Guide to Satanic Cults, which follows the story of this tape made for the police and then compares it somewhat of Jan 6.
What?
Then they talk with this QAnon faggot named Cleveland Meredith Jr., who you've never heard of, and then shows Trump saying, stand black and stand by and show QAnon flags as if he's talking to them.
And somehow this is the same thing Republicans believe that Democrats are a static cult, satanic cult.
Sorry for my really incoherent description because that's how confusing this film was.
Anyhow, one of the trailers before the film was a Patton Oswald indie where he basically catfishes and stalks his son.
I wonder if they have a wife in this story.
Here's the trailer.
Okay.
Did you delete your profile?
Kind of the main way I was staying in touch with you.
Soup.
Do you want a video chat?
I'm kind of camera shy.
What if you're some old guy or something?
I'm doing this to help him.
He thinks he's in a relationship.
Yeah, we talk about life and stuff.
Sounds like I'm trying to see his dick.
Oh, come on, man.
I don't even hear no about your boy's dick.
It's your son's dick you're talking about.
I said I'm not trying to.
Ew, gross.
So some guy was out of touch with his son, and he got back by hiring a girl to be the girlfriend.
And then they have an online relationship, so he gets to talk to his son.
Yikes.
Gavin's boots.
Hey, Gavin, those pics with Amber Heard, what kind of boots are you wearing?
Red wings?
We've made that very clear.
Dear, this one's called The War on Kids Intro.
Dear G-Dog and Rye Guy, first I'd like to thank you for the awesome, hilarious, and at times even thought-provoking content you've been putting out here for the past few years.
As someone living in Finland, I'm generally very alone with my political-religious leanings, and having people like you, i.e.
actual men with actual balls and brains, is a breeze of fresh air whenever I watch slash listen to your shows.
I do, in fact, have a question.
It's sadly not all that interesting.
I really like the intro.
You have on Warren Kids, another brick in the wall, blah, blah, blah.
Was a song custom-made by you or a fan?
Is it possible to find it somewhere?
What a weird email.
Did you make that song?
No, I think that is a remix.
So if you just, you probably would get some luck if you typed in remix the wall.
All right, let's get to the final vid.
We shall.
Stop, stop, stop.
What?
Stop.
What?
I don't feel like we provided enough quality content.
Whoa.
So we're not going to do the final video.
Let's do feminism.
Ooh.
Who here identifies As a feminist, we are the storm, the very form of change that the world has been waiting for.
You said I was too pretty to fight.
That's toxic masculinity if you don't realize how your behavior is hurtful.
This was pretty intense.
Some incredibly hot chick says, roast me, which is women don't get the roasting thing.
Remember I told you I was at a bar and we were all saying what each other is out of 10, us guys, and it was funny.
Because even if you're like a five as a dude, you laugh and you go, yeah, I'm ugly and fat or whatever, and I'm bald.
And then it's even funny if one of your friends is a nine, like he could be a male model.
That's equally as funny.
But then when a girl shows up and she's like, what am I?
You go, uh, you add two.
She's a six, you say an eight.
They're always insulted.
An eight, why aren't I a ten?
I don't know, because you're a fucking ugly melting fat minion?
So anyway, this hot chick who's never been told no in her life decides she wants to be roasted.
Okay, let's try it.
I can't read that.
Your implants and cry for attention on here only highlight what you and everyone else already suspect.
You are insecure.
Likely your insecurity stems from always questioning if you really ever earned anything by merit.
Most people probably hand you things because they like looking at you, but that's made you vapid, shallow, and unable to perform in any way that adds true value to the world.
Your relationships are superficial.
Your romance life always has a shadow of doubt.
Does he love you or how you look?
If you were disfigured, would anyone give you a second glance based on personality?
That nagging feeling will keep you looking for validation.
It keeps you in the gym.
It makes you post photos online, looking for praise or positive attention.
It keeps you going back for a nip here and a tuck there.
Before long, you look like Donatello-Versace with the personality of one of her handbags.
You'll shift from being the center of attention to being part of a gaggle of women who make rude comments about younger girls because you feel jealous and rude comments about men who no longer pay any attention to you.
You'd be better served working on being a better person than hunting for attention on Reddit.
But you'll likely die young and your grave will be about as shallow as your personality.
I was going to jerk off to this photo, but now I have to jerk off to this comment.
Jesus.
And then how well does it work out?
Dead at 31 by suicide.
Influencer had 4.2 million followers.
This is a sick culture, dudes.
This phone shit is.
It's Orwellian.
It's dark.
It's macabre.
I don't like it.
All right, I wanted to get to this green.
What?
My phone is answering questions for you.
It's real.
It's weird.
So that was a real thing.
Sometimes you'll see things like that and it'll be...
Because it's fake.
Well, I can kind of tell the New York Post wasn't Photoshop.
That's terrible.
How does she kill herself, you think?
Yeah.
How does a beautiful woman commit suicide?
I don't know, Ryan.
You're a retard and you're ruining the show.
Can we do the green screen, please?
Oh, yes.
It is time for what we call a green screen.
Come on, everybody.
Sorry, I'm late.
I was looking up the woman in this video.
I think her name is Haley Holt.
And here is Jordan Peterson explaining reality to her and talking about motherhood and how important it is to create life and how lame most of your jobs are.
A year after this discussion, she had donated sperm because she couldn't find a man.
And because she was old as shit, she had a late-term miscarriage.
In other words, Jordan was right and she was wrong.
And you can see the truth seeping into her brain in this video.
Shocked, especially the ones that are more professionally oriented, with just exactly how much they end up liking their children, loving children.
Just to give the context here, he said, I can't tell you how many women I know who are shocked at how much they love their children.
Like they go, and I've noticed that too.
They always go like, well, I'm not ready.
We've got to do this first.
We got to do that first.
No, you don't.
Just pop them out.
Trust me.
Oh, I don't know anything.
How should I do this?
It all figures itself out.
Public schools are free.
Homeschooling's free.
Food is cheap.
You already got a place to live.
There'll just be a little kid over there.
So just do it.
I remember, I'll never forget this woman back in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.
Fuck, she was hot.
And we're there and our daughters are playing.
This is back when my daughter was like two, 13 years ago.
And she just looks at her kid and looks at me and she goes, what the fuck were we waiting for?
Why did we wait so long?
It profoundly affected me.
Anyway.
Because most young women are taught badly that the most important thing that they'll do in their life is their career.
And that's simply not true.
It's not true for most people and certainly not true for most women.
I certainly wasn't taught that myself.
I feel like I'm doing quite well in my career, but I still have pressures.
People who are saying, you know, when are you actually going to succeed properly by having a baby?
I kind of find that slightly offensive.
What exactly did she say?
I still have pressures.
People who are saying, you know, when are you actually going to succeed properly by having a baby?
I kind of find that slightly offensive.
I'm 38.
It's over, babe.
Let me explain for the 50th time how it works.
25, great time to have a baby.
30, getting old.
But what happens at 30 is the hourglass is turned upside down.
The sand starts draining.
30 to 35, you're losing it.
And that's not enough time to have, say, three Kids, unless you're Irish.
After 35, the probability of getting pregnant plummets.
Yeah, well, my aunt had a kid at 41.
Yes, I'm aware that there are exceptions.
My mother had my brother at 40.
My wife had our last kid at 38.
Of course, it's possible, but it's unlikely.
And there's a million health risks.
Like this dumb bitch had a miscarriage at 39.
Because nature or God is basically going, um, yeah, this wasn't my plan.
I'm going to make things difficult.
And then, have you noticed autism is everywhere?
I can't help but think it's all of these women having kids late in life.
It's a feature of older moms having kids with autism.
I mean, it's fucking everywhere these days.
When I was a kid, there was no one with autism.
There was a couple nerds, but none of this like stuff.
You know these guys?
Hi.
You know that the world's longest ocean-going paddle steamer, that's still alive, the steam-powered one, it's called the Waverly, and it's 112 years old.
It's still ocean-going.
It does four trips a day.
One at 9 a.m., one, shut up.
Early 30s, without that, without, almost luckily, when I look at what my friends have to deal with with their children, I almost feel a little bit blessed.
You're not blessed.
I feel a little bit lucky when I look at, like, what do you mean?
You see a kid running around, the mom chasing it, that must be a living hell.
And of course, we know she's kidding herself because we've been to the future.
And in a year, this woman gets sperm donated to her, which she fucks up.
Well, her body does.
Well, I would say that it starts to get pretty lonesome in life after 45 if you don't have a family.
You know, and so it's easy to consider the utility of an intense.
Look at that.
Stop.
Did you see what just happened there?
God, that's amazing.
I saw a penny drop in her mind.
Look at how she looks down.
That blink is everything.
I wish I could bottle that blink and then walk through the streets like an angry Muslim with butric acid, throwing it in women's faces.
I want to bottle that blink and just go to every 25-year-old in the Western world and just go, splosh, splosh, sploosh, splosh.
And they go, whoa, I will be lonely at 45.
I got to stop dating DJs and musicians and photographers and find an ambitious guy that has a future.
The utility of an intense career.
And like you have a very high quality career too.
That's something that marks you out from maybe from, let's say, more typical people.
And perhaps that's worth more of a sacrifice.
But, you know, you're going to...
I've thought about that too.
Like they go, my career, and I go, well, there's an oncologist, and then there's like a woman who does a restaurant's Facebook page, right?
Do either of those hold a candle to creating and shaping three or more lives?
An oncologist could save a child's life.
She might prescribe the perfect amount of chemo to save that child.
Yeah, would that child die if you weren't there, though?
And you saved, you may have saved a life of a stranger.
You could have created three lives.
So even the top of the line, like most valuable jobs in society, are those still even close to being a mom?
I don't think so.
I don't think I could name a job that's better than being a mom, which is funny how they say proud boys are sexist, because we're actually putting them on a pedestal that's above all else.
You're going to live till you're 90 in all likelihood, and it's not easy to consider your life across its entire span.
And there's something to be said for developing a very close-knit, intimate community around you if you can manage it.
She's going to cry.
You have children, and then you have grandchildren.
And that, to me, what I've experienced in my life, although I've had a very productive career and a very interesting career.
By the way, you made one kid.
One is for losers.
Two is for fags.
Three is the bare minimum.
We're not exactly blown away by your track record.
And isn't she a single mom?
Did she have a kid out of wedlock?
Didn't she get divorced or some shit?
I think she's married to a guy named Jordan.
But I don't know if that's the baby mama.
Baby daddy.
Yeah.
Go ahead.
Maybe being the case for me that my family has been more and more important to me as I've got older.
And I don't think that that's an uncommon experience.
Like, look at her body language.
She's falling apart here.
And that's because no one's ever splashed a bottle of blink water in her face.
No one's ever brought this up.
She's got nothing but accolades.
There might be some doddering old lady that no one takes seriously who said, you really should have met a man.
You know, you're 38.
You're a spinster.
You're all dried up.
And they all laugh at that dumb old lady.
She's so old-fashioned.
You're going to get sperm donated to you in about a year, and then you'll have a late-term miscarriage, which is fucking traumatizing because it's basically a baby.
I mean, of course it's a baby, but it looks fully developed in the third trimester.
Try getting over that.
I really have to clean my room first before I had a child, because it's slightly messy.
What does your room look like?
Because you do suggest that that is the first place people should start.
Oh, my God.
At the moment, it's somewhat of a disaster, and it has been for about two years because for a variety of reasons, our house has been in a state of constant renovation over the last two years, and I've been traveling.
You don't have to be so literal with every question, okay?
She's just joking around about the clean your room thing.
God damn it, he's such a robot sometimes.
Everything that isn't in order in the house happens to be in my room.
And it is a sign that my life, in some sense, has got beyond my ability to stay on top of.
And so there's a fair bit of ordering and starving.
I just wanted to show you the evolution of a woman's brain as she slowly realizes that she's given away the most fantastic gift imaginable.
I mean, it's almost above mortals.
If you can create life, you're not really down with us, plebes.
You're in a special universe.
And to just throw away that magic power, I mean, I'm sure there's a handful of women that should do it and would be happier without kids.
There's also people with limb dysphasia who chop their leg off because they think they were born to be handicapped.
You're basically mentally ill if you throw away motherhood.
So fucking get your shit together, ladies.
Okay, now we can get to the fucking final video.
You know, that Jim Brewer video where he says, savor every moment with your family.
It really is important.
You could go at any moment.
I remember Michelle Malkin talked about this.
There was that Asian dude who he was on a road trip in the winter with his family, and he kept them there in the car.
The kid, the car died, and they're in the middle of nowhere.
And the mother was breastfeeding, and the car was sheltered, so it wasn't that bad.
But he eventually goes, we got to go get help.
So he goes on a long walk through this four feet of snow trying to find some help.
And they just find him dead with his clothes everywhere.
He was nude because apparently as you're freezing to death, at the very last second, you feel really hot.
And that's a thing you do.
And Michelle Malkin, or maybe it was a fan of hers on her thread, said, a fun game I do with my kids is I mentally pretend that they're old and they're away from the house.
Am I going to cry like a faggot again?
Being over 50, you're just blubbering all the time.
At the new gym, the aerobicized gym, I'm hitting the heavy bag and they're playing power by Kanye West again.
And I make this video in my head that's like a training video with mouthpieces and people slipping and fucking left hooks and practicing and it's really dramatic and it's really well edited and it gets you pumped.
And then the end of the video, they've got their gym bags and they're walking through.
It's a bad part of the Bronx.
And they see a crowd of guys, like four teenagers, picking on some, I don't know, old man or a girl or something.
And then they turn around and they see the two people that just left the gym that you've been watching training.
And the two guys look at each other.
And then they just, they reach in their pockets and they grab their mouth guards and they put in their mouth guards.
And that's the end of the video.
They're going to go kick the ass of those fucking thugs.
And then as I get so emotional with Kanye West playing and that gay video I just made in my head, I start going, thinking about people standing up for themselves.
Oh my God, I'm fucking Jordan Peterson.
Nobody said it was easy.
Anyway, the game is you pretend that you were daughters old and you got a time machine.
To go back in time and be with her for a day.
Anyway, here's a guy almost falling from a crane.
He could go at any moment.
Don't worry, he's not going to die.
I'm pretty sure.
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Hang on.
Hang on.
Just let your hurt fuck you.
Okay, now it's just two broken legs.
How the fuck did this happen?
Holy fucking Jesus Christ.
Is there a swamper there?
Like somebody tell him to stop now before he gets crushed by this fucking he's safe.
He makes it.
But you never know when you're gonna go.
So savor every moment.
Get fired.
Get in trouble.
Be brave.
And never stop fighting.
For a small there, like somebody told him to stop now before he gets crushed by this.
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