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June 6, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
58:06
GOML LIVE #151 - THE ROLLING STONES VS. TIM ARMSTRONG (Part 1)

Gavin, Ryan, and Matty (Syl is still ill) enjoy Matt Walsh's new trans movie, Chin Diesel, and the thirty or so years the Rollins Stones were as good as Rancid.

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Time Text
Hello, folks, and welcome back to Get Off My Lawn Live.
Every Thursday night, I'd like to welcome our co-host, Maddie Odell.
What's going on, everybody?
Good to be back.
Thank you.
As the intern with too much responsibility, Ryan Cat Soup Rivera.
Step into a Slim Jam.
Were you trying to Vin Diesel us?
Maybe.
What was this?
Did you see the Asian Vin Diesel?
The Asian Vin Diesel?
Somebody sent me on Twitter.
It was very insulting.
Isn't that Vin Diesel?
He's every race in the world.
He's like Fred Armison.
Picture Vin Diesel.
32 races.
It's Vendasian.
It's a very difficult Vendaysian.
You know, our ad guy is telling me to read this new thing, G Sauce.
I don't know.
I'm sick of him.
It takes forever to get paid.
Fuck him.
I'm not reading his shit today.
I'm going to read the people that contact us directly that we work with.
I think your days are numbered here, old Vince.
You're a retard.
Fop Metals.
Today's episode is brought to you by Fop Metals.
It's counterintuitive, how it's spelt.
P-H-A-U-P.
The economy is in the tank.
We are at the brink of a civil war.
If shit does hit the fan, you're not going to want the government to be in control of your finances.
You're going to want to have something tangible in your hand.
Just like you should have some extra water in the basement for a water shortage.
You should have a generator for an electrical shortage.
You should have precious metals for a money shortage.
So if you go to FOP, P-H-A-U-P-Metals.com, put in the promo code Gavin, you get 15% off.
What's that?
Free shippings on orders over $150.
Get like $150.
I don't know.
Get $200.
Just have it around.
It's good to have.
I have five pounds and we're not we're not you have five pounds I have silver, yeah.
Wear in your house.
I can't say that.
Who come and get it?
Wear roughly.
By the way, Maddie is obsessed with these old stop-motion cartoons animation, and he is dressed tonight as the heat miser from Jack Frost, I think that was.
I missed a white Christmas.
He's up there with the abominable snowman.
Yeah, those cartoons were so fucking good.
I look, because when I was looking at you when it was worse, 50% of my mind was going, who the fuck does he look like?
It's killing me.
So then I spent a good hour on the computer going through the people who made Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
Brooke Baskin or something like that?
Carol Baskins.
Carol Baskins.
And that's how I got to the heat miser.
There he is.
Yeah.
There's Maddie O'Dell.
Yes, my nose was horrendous when I got back Friday night.
Saturday was worse.
But I've been putting all sorts of creams and ointments on it, so it's getting better.
It was bleeding.
I thought you said the abominable snowman which would be like yeah I've always had a lot of trouble with that word.
Abominable.
We're going to have a lot of snowflakes.
We're going to make people go.
A lot of cold folks.
That's why he's so worried about global warming.
He doesn't want to melt.
Yeah.
Anyway, P-H-A-U-P, FopMetals.com.
Thank you for sponsoring the show.
I don't know if they're vets.
They might be our only non-vet owned.
Oh, there it is.
Veteran-owned.
This was not a plan.
The veteran-owned thing.
It just happened.
I guess because vets don't care when Antifa emails them and says, you're supporting fascism.
And they go, no, I know what fascism is.
It shot at me.
So I'm not listening to you.
Although, in other news, our show on June 25th in Orlando, Maddie will be there.
Ryan will be there.
Jim Gold will be there.
Josh, Kumia, and I will be doing the stand-up comedy we always will be doing in the past, but, well, Josh can still do it, but Kumi and I are banned everywhere.
So I haven't done stand-up since the last time I did it.
Everyone went to jail.
You will not be going to jail, of course, this time.
But no, that's not the correct URL anymore, Ryan.
We went through this quite a bit, actually.
Did we not?
It's censored.tv slash.
So why would you put up the band?
You just put up a URL as I'm explaining why that URL doesn't work.
Correct.
That's a feat.
This guy's impressive.
So we have a problem with our AC, our HVAC.
The door was left open on the thing on the roof, and the insulation on the door started tearing apart and getting sucked into the fan and sucked into our whole system.
So occasionally a little bit of what looks like Grover fur.
It looked like a Grover was killed on the roof and they'll fall down on the ground, other little fragments of the inside of the door because the fan is sucking at the door.
So Ryan comes up to my desk about a week ago and we had a big fire way down the street, like a block away.
He doesn't want to touch one of these particles for some strange reason.
It's just insulation fragments, debris, whatever.
So he's using tongs.
The tongs he's using are the little brown plastic things that are in a coffee lid.
I don't know what those are, by the way.
The Duncan.
What are those?
Are those to prevent the water, the coffee splooshing out when you drive?
Okay.
So he has two of those, and he's holding this little thing, and he goes, check this out.
I go, first of all, why aren't you touching it?
It's gross.
Ooh, it's so gross.
And he goes, I know what this is.
I finally figured it out.
Everyone calls me Detective Shitty.
Oh, yeah.
Who's laughing now?
It's debris from the fire.
Particles floated down the street and then went into our shit.
But here's my favorite part.
When the HVAC guy came and he went up there, we didn't go up there.
He showed us pictures and he explained everything.
And you could see the insulation ripped from the door in the fan.
You could see it all caught up in there.
We had a little video.
We got a video.
We have the system.
This is the amazing part.
And this is why Ryan's dumb.
Because he has a brick wall around his brain where he's never wrong.
So he never improves.
Like a good scientist goes off at a tangent thinking that's this.
And then once he realizes that's not that, he goes, oh, shit, I'm wrong.
Now you'll notice with the left and who's a Nazi, they'll be like, proud boys are Nazis.
And you go, wait, there's black dudes and there's Proud Boys Israel and there's gays.
And they go, huh, you can be a Nazi Jew.
I didn't realize that.
Or you could be a not like white guys who own slaves, they would fuck their slaves.
So you can be a racist with a black wife, like Thomas Jefferson or something.
In other words, they don't veer off their course.
They stick with the thing, even as the evidence hits them.
Ryan's the same way.
You know what he said like an hour ago?
I go, well, it looks like your terrible theory about fire debris didn't pan out.
And he goes, no, I still think it's true.
I haven't had a good belly laugh like that in many weeks.
They look burned.
The evidence is presented to him by a professional, and he sticks with theory A.
He probably thinks Proud Boys are Nazis, too.
I haven't seen any evidence against it.
I haven't seen them Zig Heiling, but I haven't seen them not Zig Heiling.
Fantastic.
So that opening song was Viagra Boys, Punk Rock Loser.
What a fantastic band.
They just keep hitting it out of the park.
It's very rare a band is so consistent.
You know?
It's a real, it's another sprinkles from God where he just goes, I'm going to make this guy a hit machine.
And the Viagra Boys, every song is fucking perfect.
I was listening to Rancid in the car today, and I think he wrote a lot of Lars Erickson's songs.
And you think of him with Operation Ivy, and you're just like, the guy's a fucking hit machine.
He's like Billy Joel or Bruce Bringstein.
Well, I guess sort of the Stones, but he just keeps sprinkling all these hits.
Actually, you know what?
No, not the Stones.
The Stones have been around since before I was born, and they've got like 10 bangers.
Tim, what's his name from Rancid?
What's his name again?
The main guy?
He's Operation Ivy were the early 90s.
Joel Madden.
that's Joel Madden and Tim Armstrong Tim Armstrong That Lars Fredrickson.
Did I say Lars Erickson?
Lars Fredrickson was like a few years ago.
So in 20 years, oh, actually, it's about the same number of years.
Some of the theories will be shit.
But the Stones are way bigger.
So it goes to show.
Yes.
That Rancid, although they're not as big, they came out with just as many hits as the Rolling Stones, which everybody's creaming their damn jeans about.
Yeah, but we're not talking about that.
We're talking about the amount of time it takes to have a bunch of hits.
Yeah.
But I'm saying they had the same amount of time, same amount of hits, but yet they're not as big as the Stones.
What the hell?
Okay, I'm not enjoying this conversation anymore.
The other night, I kept trying to remember the word, your own facility, your own power of autonomy.
And we must have got 100 emails saying the word you're looking for, Gavin, is agency.
You're saying we don't have their own agency.
Yes.
You're denying someone of their agency, meaning their ability to conduct themselves and be in control of their actions.
So thank you for that.
I'll never make that mistake again.
So there we go.
That's the correct URL.
Censored.tv/slash Orlando.
And not to give too much away, but Donald Trump is going to be there.
That's true.
And Jordan Peterson.
Chin Diesel.
And Jesse Lee Peterson.
Via Ryan, by the way.
Oh, that's Chin Diesel.
I like him.
He got Vinned.
I riv my rife a quarter kilometer at a time.
I didn't even read that.
That's hilarious.
You got Chin.
It looks like Vince, I mean, yeah, Vin and the guy that he kicked off the set, the director that quit.
Oh, yeah.
That's why they quit.
Yeah, irreconcilable diffs.
So as you know, the way this show goes, it's free to everyone in the world.
Thanks to the sponsors.
We go behind a paywall around half an hour in.
We read letters, which I have some bad news about.
And we take calls.
Then we have the super chat up here in the corner.
The super chat goes to Max and John.
Those are the guys who went to jail the last time I did stand-up comedy.
And obviously, I'm talking about the talk at the Metropolitan Club in New York where Antifa ambushed them and they beat the shit out of Antifa, which is Verboten.
That's the DNC's paramilitary wing.
So they were sent away for four years.
They're on their last year now.
And I'd like them to have some cash when they get out.
John Kinsman, who incidentally has a black wife, lost his welding inspector's license.
It expired in there.
So they're going to need some time.
I think Max, who works on the railroads, has retained his job and they'll take him back.
That's one good thing about diversity.
They're used to having a lot of black guys there and they're used to criminal records and people going away for a while.
Also, speaking of going away, great news.
The left is being punished.
Michael Avinati got four years for robbing Stormy Daniels, which is exactly what Tucker said on the show.
He said, Why are you ripping off this poor woman?
She's not rich.
She's going to these small strip clubs in butt fuck Idaho and having people sign her tits.
Wait, that doesn't make sense.
I want to go sign a celebrity's tits.
If I meet Billie Eilish, I'm going to say that.
Can I sign your tits with your name?
No, she's doing those autograph signings and fucking pathetic strip dancing.
Oh my God, what's the matter with my brain?
I took this pre-workout this morning and I've had the most erratic day.
I've been to the studio three times today.
Went to the gym, went back to the gym, was bringing my daughter to Jim, canceled it, went back and forth, rode my motorcycle, my car, and I forgot my fucking computer.
So the mail will be read by Down syndrome Rivera.
Did you take gorilla mode?
Yes.
I don't know if I want it anymore.
Dude, and I worked out so hard I puked.
Have you ever tried a pre-workout with Beta Alanine in it?
Well, I worked out with you, so I've tried it with Beta Rivera.
Beta!
Are those fake eyelashes peeking out under your hat?
Did you rob a black girl on the way here?
Well, he has a lot of fun.
Those things are getting so fucking absurd.
I've had enough of those fake eyelashes.
It looks like palm fronds.
It used to be a ghetto thing.
Now it's upper middle class, Texan women, white women.
Everyone is wearing them like they don't look like a clown dressed as a woman for Halloween.
You look ridiculous.
You look fucking retarded.
Those don't look like eyelashes.
Stop.
They're not even put on well.
Put on.
You can see like the glue.
And it's just pathetic.
Fake eyelashes are for girls who have no eyelashes to try to look like they have some eyelashes.
It's not for girls who have normal, pretty eyelashes to add these fucking weird parakeet hands lifting up to God, praying on the top of your fucking eyes.
You look like Ryan Catsu Rivera's bangs.
Thank you.
It's true.
It's true.
That's true.
Oh, shit.
You know what just happened?
What is a Woman is launched right now?
I heard.
Matt Walsh's documentary.
They tried to shut it down, I heard.
Oh, fuck.
He's a survivor.
We rebounded from our ticket sales.
Wait, I'm all over the place here.
So did I finish the ticket sales thing?
Orlando Weekly was handling the ticket sales.
They do that for most venues.
They've got a great infrastructure where you go to their site, you buy the tickets, they send the money to the venue.
They take a massive percentage.
And they got harassed by a couple of male comedians.
I think I know who it was, but I don't want to give them the pleasure of talking about them.
But these failed comedians who are clearly on the spectrum and they get revenge on comedy for rejecting them by making it reject other people.
And Orlando Weekly chickened out.
So that's why we're doing it through Eventbrite.
They will likely chicken out too.
And we have playing BCD all the way to the end of the alphabet.
It's the way you have to do things.
And I assume Daily Wire and Matt Walsh are the same, but they're not that controversial.
The thing about Daily Wire and Matt Walsh is they get complaints from far-left lunatics.
We get complaints from everyone.
So it's a much wider swath of the offended.
Like, who does Ben Shapiro offend?
Palestinians?
That's about it.
But anyway, can we pull it up?
Can we look at it?
Yes.
Luckily, my wife is signed up.
And I'm going to pull it.
Whoa, the Rad Zone.
Look at that.
Palm trees.
Look at all that shit I bought you.
Thank you.
Trees.
Not pine trees.
Palm fronds.
Eyelash trees.
See here.
So let's introduce it first.
So 1-2 introduces it.
This is obviously Matt Walsh with his woman wife and his.
His woman wife.
Yes, as opposed...
No sound?
New documentary shows pediatricians saying pre-pubescent kids are ready for transhormone therapy whenever they ask for it and claiming you can pause hormones like music with the same drugs used to chemically castrate pedophiles.
Now, I'm kind of way too trusting sometimes.
And when they said it's reversible, I thought, huh, maybe all the shit I read is just wrong.
It's not reversible.
You're permanently infertile as a woman if you block your puberty.
And that's pretty obvious.
Like, this is what we use to chemically castrate pedophiles.
Puberty, obviously, is a massive tsunami.
Remember?
Remember when you were going through it and getting dumped was like having your legs ripped off and falling in love with a girl was like doing heroin and cocaine in your fucking placenta and getting in a fight was the scariest thing in the world and then fighting was turning into a fucking Tasmanian devil?
I mean, wanting to kill someone, wanting to marry someone.
The emotions are overwhelming.
Fuck, it's intense.
And being good at it, if you will.
It's a slayer song for five or six years.
Not to mention the insane horniness.
Praying to God to stop masturbating.
Please, please.
I'm so fucking horny.
That's really, really hard.
Remember unwanted boners on the bus and in class?
Looking down.
Just go away.
You're constantly hiding your fucking boners.
And I'm not even getting the full scope of it.
Waking up in the middle of the night with the sheets soaking wet and a freight train running through the holy.
God, I got Biden mouse tonight.
Holy tree.
It's hilarious.
You can't yell at your child.
You can't discipline him.
You can't smack him on the ass.
You can't do any of that.
But you can fucking chemically castrate them.
You can stop a chemical tsunami happening to him.
It's Chinese footbinding is what it is.
And we saw what the Chinese, we saw these old ladies.
They're still alive.
These 90-year-old Chinese ladies.
And their feet are a closed fist from Chinese footbinder.
Can eight-year-olds vote?
I do not.
No, they may not.
Can they drive?
They may not.
But they're going to decide what gender they're going to be in.
They can't get tattoos, but they can.
But it sounds like some fucking commie, gobbledy gook.
It's.
The parents and doctors all should be sent to fucking prison.
Yes.
That do that to these people.
The footbinding is just your feet.
It's incredibly painful, but it's just your feet.
This is your entire body, your entire essence.
And we're blocking.
We have no idea what the long-term effects are.
This is all brand new.
Anyway, this pediatrician that's on the show, she shuts down the interview.
Everyone seems to shut down the interviews on this because he says horrible things like what is a woman and what is truth.
She dresses like Gandhi.
And yeah, she is in complete denial about the dangers of this fucking drug and says, you could just pause it.
But I hate the way she dresses like Gandhi.
What is that?
Is it 180 degrees in that room?
Medication.
Are you in Lahore, Pakistan?
Are you an extra in tattooing on Star Wars?
So that could be a kid who is just starting puberty.
Then why didn't I laugh?
Did I take laugh blockers?
No, it was just true.
They're penny.
That's funny.
Getting bigger and busier, and they're worried about all kinds of masculine joy.
Yo, your penis is getting busier.
Your penis is getting busier.
I can't fuck you.
I'm sorry.
Hey, Dick, hurry up.
I got to piss.
Sorry, man.
I can piss at 3.30 on Friday.
What?
I got to piss now.
Can't do it.
I'm answering emails.
Bluetooth headset on it.
I'm sorry.
What's that, honey?
Puberty woman.
My dick is so big.
You know where I would get the Bluetooth headset for my dick?
Where?
From a normal Bluetooth headset store.
Nice.
You want to see all the accessories I would get for my dick if it was a person?
Go into a person store.
The iPhone Max?
A motorcycle helmet that would go on my dick is a motorcycle helmet.
Nice.
That would happen to go on my dick.
Yeah.
You want to see the kind of leather jacket I put on my penis?
Go to a store and buy a leather jacket.
Go to the big and tall section.
Get yourself a nice lead.
You don't want to get my underwear?
What?
Cole's.
It's the tent store.
The tent, so you wear tent.
My God, that's a big penis.
Always take it one joke too far.
I need to circumcise my jokes.
Yeah.
You have the key impilitis where they send every bit into like outer space.
Oh, that's a different problem.
I'm talking about too many examples.
I give example exhaustion.
They overexaggerate.
That's true.
Which is an annoying word I can't believe I just used.
So let's see more of her.
And don't have permanent effects are wonderful because we can put that pause on puberty.
Just like if you were listening to music, you put the pause on.
Sounds good.
Stop the blockers, and puberty would go right back to where it was.
The next note in the song just delayed that period of time.
You're going to pause puberty.
Can I just, can I start puberty up when I'm 40?
Right.
I'll have no pubes.
A high voice.
And then all of a sudden.
So I've never done this before, all these crazy experiments on kids.
His name is Dr. Mengela.
Well, he was bad.
They're good.
Nazis are okay sometimes, according to the left.
We have the Azov Battalion.
They're fine.
Not good.
Can we make Azov Battalion shirts with the flag all over the place?
The Ukrainian flag?
We're not banned enough.
Let's start dancing around swastikas.
No, you can't.
And then pick it up.
No, you can't.
No, you can't.
How many studies do they have, long-term studies, on hormone blockers with children?
None.
I just go to one three.
More teasers.
It's kind of a dumb idea to say, let's check out this hour and a half long documentary for five minutes.
I think we'll cover it with the intros and we can all watch it on our own.
Oh, so here she is fucking up.
Oh, no, this isn't the one where she stopped the interview.
This is one where he says, is a chicken male or female?
No.
Your sperm don't make you male.
Then what does?
It's a constellation.
In reality.
In truth.
Okay.
Whose truth are we talking about?
The same truth that says we're sitting in this room right now, you and I.
No, you're not listening.
If I see a chicken laying eggs and I say that's a female chicken laying eggs, did I assign female or am I just observing a physical reality that's happening in the world?
Does a chicken have gender identity?
Does a chicken cry?
Does a chicken commit suicide?
Let's frame it.
Because you're talking, you're trying to.
A chicken has sex like any biological ideas.
I love that line.
That's why I only really like it.
Does a chicken cry?
Dude, that's a drop.
Does a chicken cry?
Does a chicken cry?
In fact, we should say that every time we get canceled or banned, like when Orlando Weekly chickens out, we go, does a chicken cry?
You should throw that into like a riveting speech.
You're just not listening.
When we get fired, when we get canceled by our family for who we like politically, think, does a chicken cry?
We have to get out.
I'm not Braveheart, you know.
I'm not Mike Tyson.
I'm no fancy warrior.
I'm just like you.
I get scared.
Does a chicken cry?
Yeah.
This chicken cries.
And then just skip right over it and then be like, do you remember the fucking chicken part?
She said, does a chicken have identity?
Yeah.
The fucking rooster, the cock?
Yeah.
It's crystal clear who the males and the females are in the chicken world.
You're just not listening.
And I'm glad she brought that up because on farms, they'll bring in, like to a turkey farm, they'll bring a male turkey in just to sort of calm everyone.
He's not fucking anything.
They've already worked all that out.
Everyone here is dying.
They're for Thanksgiving.
But his presence there stops them from infighting and attacking each other.
He creates an order.
Similarly, with cows, they'll bring a bull in.
He's not there to fuck anyone, but just his presence there seems to calm the herd.
Same thing with guppies in a fish tank.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, so this is the last one we'll show.
And I guess, will we show the movie?
That'd be dumb.
I have a gender identity.
Not that one.
1-4.
Fucking 1-4.
It's a thing.
I can't tell if it's male or female.
But Matt just keeps saying, what is truth?
And it's his N-word.
And when I say his N-word, I don't know what he's talking to.
What's up, my truth?
I'm not sure if I can do it.
Is that a lesbian who took a bunch of testosterone, do you think?
This one?
Yeah.
I can't tell you.
Well, not Matt Walsh.
Is he trying to grow a scruffy beard?
Probably.
They always have that wispy beard.
I can't tell if that's a super duper low T male or a super duper high T female.
So far, the body shape looks like a man.
Yeah.
You know, the frame.
Padded suit shoulders.
Yeah, the body language is a giveaway.
Like that fatty they showed before who said that they were lying about the paws.
Zero gender studies.
Yeah, that's a woman who took, and you can, he sits all weird.
That was Chas Bono.
Like a fake macho stance.
Right, right.
I'm not even talking about social context.
I'm just trying to start by getting to the truth, you know?
Fuck you.
Yeah, I mean, I'm really uncomfortable with that language of like getting to the truth again in social context.
Why is that uncomfortable?
Because that, it sounds actually deeply transphobic to me.
And if you keep probing, we're going to stop the interview.
If I probe about what the truth is?
You keep invoking the word truth, which is condescending and rude.
I'm saying to you.
How is the word truth condescending and rude?
Why don't you tell me what your truth is?
And you're walking on 30 seconds more of thin ice before I get up.
30 seconds more of thin ice.
That's a good name of his autobiography.
Autobiography.
30 seconds of thin ice.
Here's my ultimatum.
That is awesome.
What is going on with my nomenclincher tonight?
New York, New York, New York.
Hello, what are you doing?
30 seconds of thin ice.
30 seconds.
I will not be fucking up any other words for the rest of this show.
I'm not Joe Biden.
Do you want to click on it?
Should we see anything what's going on?
Did you have to pay for it?
You have to be on Daily Wire, right?
Yeah.
I'll have to get your wife's account password.
No, we're in.
I want to watch it later on my own.
I wonder if our hack bottom.
I'd like to come out here.
Did you know, Maddie, you can call the guy and he'll put movies on?
Really?
Yeah.
Nice.
There's no guarantees.
I got 2,000 mules.
I couldn't get a freak scene, the Dinosaur Jr. documentary.
Anyway, I'm ruining this movie.
What do you got there?
But what is truth?
Triggered.
Is there a truth?
Real men don't need vests.
Is this what progress looks like?
You're either cold enough for a jacket or you just wear a shirt.
Vests are effeminate because you need to be this perfect temperature.
Do I now have to pay for four weddings?
All the men in Westchester wear them.
We should write.
You should write an article about that.
My takeaway from what is a woman is a little bit more visible.
Yeah, I should do a movie review of this.
It's a thousand words on why wearing a vest is not manly.
That is the future of it's crazy, though, in Westchester.
They all look exactly the same.
It's a Patagonia vest with black tubing across it.
Then in the winter, they have that quarter zipper sweater with a tie underneath and then a blazer on top, which must be boiling as shit.
Frida Calhoun.
Anti-oppression, feminist, and narrative frameworks.
I rely deeply on systems theory and understanding that individuals are products of and in dialogue with our surroundings, including our families, broader culture, workplaces, nature, and political climates.
Isn't it funny how they're all about dialogue and they keep stopping the interview and taking the lav off?
I'm definitely informed by like feminist family therapy and the ideas that we lived in gendered worlds where there are certain imperatives that are placed on us about who we are and what we do based on how we're going to be.
From the minute I was assigned female, I was told, okay, imagine you were at a bar and you said, how about this shooting in Novate?
Huh?
And she was like, well, I think it's important that we establish a dialogue about gun control.
I saw the shooting today.
The danger's there.
Tulsa, yeah.
Assigns.
Tulsa was yesterday.
So most times people, when they're born, it was either a hospital or a funeral.
There was the hospital shooting, and then there was a funeral that got shut up, but they were both black guys.
So those stories are...
So basically, it's based on genitalia.
So people looking at genitalia and deciding, okay, this is a girl or a boy.
And we know now that sex and gender are so much more than just this binary.
Some women have penises, right?
Some men have vaginas.
Is it called a blowjob if you go down on a woman's penis or is that eating out a penis?
Is it cunilingus?
Yeah, well, we don't know.
Can you give a woman a blowjob?
I don't even like it.
I don't want to.
I don't want to.
What is a woman?
I hope the answer is no.
What is a woman?
That doesn't mean that this is who I am as a person.
Let's stop all this shit.
I like to give the freeloaders a taste of Thursday night.
So before we kick them off the show and go behind the paywall, how have you been cutting it recently, Ryan?
As far as far as the free shit goes, do you do it strictly at the half hour mark or do you wait for my goodbye?
I wait for the goodbye.
Okay.
Because there was some controversy there earlier where you were claiming you would just cut it off.
Yeah, but we would talk about it.
Like, should we just cut him off?
And you'd be like, just cut him off at 30.
We would always say it.
But it's all available for free on censored.tv.
So instead of going to BitChute or anything like that, you can watch the free versions on censored.tv under free shit.
What's going on with Maddie's mic?
He just kicked it over.
Now he's getting a loud.
He's angry.
He just whispered to me that you're pissing him off.
Maddie, why don't you try going behind the bar?
Oh, you want to show how tall I really am?
think it's a good look.
Can I get your orders, sir?
What do you have?
What do you have as well as you can?
Hopefully not top shelf.
We have well.
We only have well vodka, well tequila.
Yeah, I forgot what I was talking about.
I jumped on that as if I'm the tallest guy in the world.
At the end of that, I see.
Who's taller, Maddie or Ryan?
I don't know.
I say I'm 5'7, but all my doctors and nurses laugh at me and go, no, you're like 5'6 and 3 quarters.
I do the same thing, but nobody laughs at me because I don't, I just stay in.
My.
I say I'm 5'10 and a half, and then my doctors start laughing, and I pull down my pants, and they see my cock, and they go, holy shit.
It's got a Bluetooth headset.
That is small.
And it beat.
We watched Get Off My Lawn Live.
We thought it was huge.
That's not what I heard on the show.
Are you cold, Mr. McInnis?
Would you like a parka?
They start panicking.
Get this guy a warm bath of water.
He's freezing to death.
Shout out to Jed, by the way, who recognized me at my gym.
Yeah, that's not worth interrupting the show, Ryan.
That's actually embarrassing and annoying.
What the fuck?
What a fucking dumb thing to do.
Jason Momoa is Sam Hyde now.
Did anyone know that?
Yes.
You knew that?
Yeah, that's exciting.
I like both those guys.
So the fact that they've merged the same way Vin Diesel did with his director, his nostrils have even flared out like Sam's.
yeah that is interesting and maybe there's something about uh by the way there's way too much slack on those overhead lights Maybe there's something about the thickness of glasses that makes Sam's and Jason's eyes bug out a little bit more than normal.
Is that what's happening there?
I haven't seen Sam without glasses in many years.
Oh, really?
Anyway, let's take a couple calls and go through it.
And make a little love.
So we're behind the paywall in...
No, no, no.
I want to take calls before we go behind the paywall.
Okay, and we got...
How did I make that clear?
What's it called?
Some super chats I could put up in the meantime.
But here is the number for those listening.
Let's do the thanks for calling.
718-400-6959.
Yet again, 1718-400-6959.
You are on air.
This is a fucking loser.
And you want me to learn, share, listen, understand the why.
Hey, why does everyone get two things?
You have one thing.
Thank you for calling.
It's great hearing from you.
Bye-bye.
All right, next.
Bye-bye!
Tomorrow's going to be an incredible show.
I haven't done a GOML in a week, right?
So I got a week of shit.
Because every time I'm on my phone looking at stuff, which is way too often, I send it to myself and it goes into the various categories.
My pet Biden, Antifa, feminism, LGBT, racism.
And so we have like 68 links to get through.
And I thought, oh, I could parse them out and spread it out in bank shows.
And then I thought, nah, I want to do it all in one big super marathon.
And then you can parse through it on your own.
The calls are bugging out.
I haven't really gone on vacation for a decade because I've been getting my career built up.
What?
What kind of thing is that to say?
You couldn't find three days?
No, Sidney said.
That's how millennials talk.
Finally, at a point where I can enjoy the fruits of my labor.
Got any suggestions on where to go?
Buddy Barrett, Costa Rica.
Check the weather.
I think you want to avoid rainy season there, but Costa Rica is fucking fun.
And you can do it on the cheap or you can spend tons of money.
A friend of mine just went to Belize and said it was cheap as shit and very nice, too.
I don't like Mexico.
Is Belize in Mexico?
I don't think it's.
No, it's its own country.
Well, it's Mexican.
It's only started like 1985.
Brown white supremacists in the house.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't you think they're pushing hard on turning men into women so there's less resistance to their authoritarian agenda?
Maybe.
I was also thinking, the biggest assholes in the world, their biggest push is don't have kids, shatter the family.
You should get a vasectomy.
And recently I've kind of been going, yeah.
I mean, I don't want people getting abortions because it's murdering babies, but you fucking losers aren't getting married and you're not having kids.
I feel like that means that my grandchildren won't have to deal with your bullshit.
You want to fucking ethnically cleanse yourselves?
Okay.
Go ahead.
Ideologically cleanse yourselves in the world.
You got to turn your mic on.
Oh, yeah.
So this guy's asking about circumcising his kid.
The only thing you have to do is as they get old enough to wash themselves, you tell them to pull back the foreskin.
Now, you're not going to do it, but I sell it hard to the boys.
I'm like, I hope you're pulling that back when you wash.
You don't want to get schmegma.
No, my buddy Aiden, he never pulled this back.
His dad never told him to.
So by the time we were living together at 18, he's having a bath, and there was like 10 of us in the house, and we didn't care about naked.
And I was like, dude, what the fuck's with your dick?
He's like, what do you mean?
I go, have you ever pulled it back?
And he's like, yeah, it hurts when I do.
His foreskin had formed like small.
So it hadn't formed a group.
And then when he finally pulled it back, it tasted disgusting.
I knew a guy had that happen in his like 30s.
He had to get his circumcision.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I know a couple of those guys.
Like he was like strangling his fucking cockhead.
Well, see, that's the problem with modern medicine.
All of these doctors are circumcised.
Half of them are Muslim.
So when they see a foreskin, they're like, what's this doing here?
And I was told, I cut mine.
Some girl when I was 13 gave me this or 14, gave me this crazy hand job, and it cut the fresnellum, which is this.
Underneath the toe.
But what you do is you take baths, you slowly stretch it, you don't jerk off for six months, and it heals itself.
I fixed it.
I had a chance to be circumcised.
But yeah, it's apparently one of the most painful things imaginable.
And then you go, well, it's probably not very fun for a baby.
They don't have different nerve endings.
Don't think babies have nerve endings?
Pinch one.
See how they do.
See how Z feels about that.
We've got 484 on the line.
What's up, 484?
Go ahead, call it.
Go ahead, buddy.
Call her.
Call her.
484.
We're talking to you.
Chilloo.
Chilloo.
It's a caller.
This is Matt.
My name's my boy.
Hey, man.
Yo.
What's up, boy?
Come on, man.
Come on, dog.
So, listen, I was calling in to say, y'all missed it.
That crazy fucking bitch that Matt Walsh was talking to said kiddos in the very beginning when she started to describe the kids.
You know, I didn't, I may have missed it then, but I didn't miss it before.
And guess what I did?
I texted Libs of TikTok chick, and I'm still trying to get her as a friend.
It's not going great.
But I said, they always say kiddos.
It's a red flag.
Yes, it is.
I've never heard a parent here on earth say kiddos.
It's always a weird trans fucking teacher or one of these activists, kiddos.
It sounds like they're covering up for something.
I love them.
They're my little kiddos.
I'm not trying to fuck them.
Part of their grooming process.
Yeah.
All right.
Thanks for calling.
That's fucking weird.
Hey, thanks for calling.
That's our line.
All right.
Now, the bad news is that I forgot my computer.
The good news is that I've been through all the mail thanks to this crazy meth that is gorilla mind pre-workout.
So everything is flagged, Ryan.
There's about 100 purple flags in the mailbox.
Sweet.
The only problem is people have to hear a Puerto Rican try to read.
That's okay.
Hi.
I am calling.
Oh, no.
This is a letter to you.
Dear Gavin, my name is Ryan.
I went to Bronx Public School.
I read like someone's pointing a gun to my head.
I do not.
Hey, Whistler, you're on the line.
Hey, Whistler, what's up there?
Hey, what's going on, boy?
Hey.
Ooh.
Ooh.
What's up?
Hey, yo, you guys earlier were talking about Ford Skin.
You know what they call that?
That's a rabbi chewing gum.
Hey, what's up with this whole live show and getting in for free with this bald eagle tattoo?
Is that still a thing?
Yes, that is still a thing.
It has to be this exact bald eagle tattoo.
Yeah.
And it's the $35 tickets that you get, not the VIP or anything fancy.
But yes, if you have this specific, the bird which is the bald eagle tattoo, you get in for free at the Orlando show.
Oh, man, I get in free.
That's great.
So I will be getting in.
Maddie, Ryan, and I will be getting in free to our own show.
That's true.
Nice.
But yeah, I was reluctant to enforce that because it's the kind of thing you got to talk to, talk to the club owner about, blah, blah, blah.
But then, fuck it.
Fuck it.
We already committed.
All right, thanks for calling.
All right, let's stop saying thanks for calling to me.
That's my thing.
It feels weird.
It's like if you're making out with your wife and she like pulls your hair or something.
You know, we're living in a society.
Or you ever have like she tries, the chick tries choking you while she's on top?
And you're like, my T isn't as low as yours, so it never occurs to them.
No, you've had girls try to choke you?
Attempt, but I shut it down.
I said, too bad this can't be edited out.
You mean I don't care?
That's live.
I'm fine.
Choke.
Pulling hair is kind of embarrassing.
Slapping, I mean, that'd be pretty embarrassing.
But choke?
What does she do?
She goes, You like that, you little whore?
No, you didn't say that to me at all.
I won't love it, but I'll kiss her.
Does she smack your ass too when she's taking you from behind?
Literally not any of that things.
Does she hold your ankles like this?
No, that's ridiculous.
Does she say, Call me daddy?
No, she doesn't say, wait, no.
She doesn't.
I did have a girl like back when I was 18 tie my wrists together, like pull me up.
That's worse.
And it was just, I just undid the knots and then held them there for a bit to make her feel better.
And did you hold up the thing of you're like, I am not doing this?
That's exactly what I did.
Good memory.
Yeah, it was me.
You know what?
A cop sent me a footage of a bachelorette where a woman was dumped by her husband.
He canceled the wedding when he saw the footage of what the strippers were doing.
It would be wrong to put that in front of a paywall.
So as soon as we go behind the paywall, we will be showing you the bachelorette party that ruined a wedding.
These are the kind of treats you get behind the magic wall.
But we're about to go, bye-bye.
And only the people that pay about a beer and a half to two beers a month, depending where you live.
If you're in the South, it's maybe two beers a month.
If you're in Manhattan, it's less than a beer a month.
And it is more shows than you could possibly handle.
I don't think you should watch 100% of what Censored.tv puts out.
It's too much.
You need a life.
You'd be troubled.
You literally need to go outside.
Look at my getter.
I sent you this link about this guy going, Is this the biggest challenge I've ever had, Jesus?
Are you testing me?
And Jesus goes, I'm ruining the joke, but Jesus is like, you literally need to just put your phone down and go outside.
Calm down.
So if you could just go to my getter, Ryan, like I told you.
You can, if you were to watch everything we give you, you will look like that guy on the left.
It's too much goodness.
So I would say, never miss my show, of course.
It's the greatest.
AIU, Jim Goad, Dusty Baugen, Dusty Paugen.
But don't take it all in or you'll die.
We're offering you too much.
They say, if you want to destroy a man, give him whatever he wants.
Look, Anthony Coome is on there.
We've got the singer of the misfits.
Let's not forget Maddie's Little Kitchen.
Oh, of course.
Maddie's shitty little kitchen.
Where what's the most recent episode we put up?
Sal Zavertever.
Sal Sa Verde.
Sal Zaverte.
Well, you guys were on your hunger strike, the religious hunger thing, so I couldn't make the food I wanted to make, but the salt sent me.
Well, for those of you who trust us, I told you I cheated a million times on that.
I didn't eat food, but I drank a lot of beer.
Way to show your fucking login.
That's all right.
When on that episode, you see Ryan taste like the tip of a knife of salsa verde.
That is the only thing he ate for seven days.
Only solid food, swear on everything.
And it was liquid.
Born his daughter.
Liquid.
It is a liquid, frankly.
Are you considering abortion with your daughter, by the way?
No, she's born already, so no, that's...
That's irrelevant.
That's become irrelevant.
Is it now 11 months or so?
My truth does not include.
If you guys change your mind, you and your wife should sit down with your physician and decide if abortion is right for you.
No, she's the most cutest, most baby.
The woman on the street says it's the woman's choice.
Well, remember that, I was thinking about that dude today, the guy who said, I believe 10 years, but that's, I'm a man, it's not up to me.
10 years.
So say his universe existed.
Oh, Jesus.
And there's just body bags of eight-year-olds and seven-year-olds.
Call me old-fashioned.
That's supposed to be a nightmare.
That's supposed to be the most unthinkable horror.
It's piles of dead children.
Not in the left.
It's like the school shooting.
Yeah, they freak out about the school shooting, and then they say you can abort an entire Hispanic nursery school in Ivalde, Mexico.
I love that argument that the left says, you know, we got to protect our children, take all the guns away, but yet you want to kill born children up into a certain amount after the birth.
What?
Do you really give a fuck about it?
Those aren't children.
I don't know.
Those aren't people.
It's a fetus.
It's a clump of cells.
But it's even at two years old.
Even a nine-year-old is just a clump of cells.
A week after that same argument.
It's like, look at yourselves.
Matt Walsh should do an abortion documentary.
What's happening now?
Oops.
Oh my God.
You're really fucking up.
This is.
If I were you, I'd either kill yourself or get a time machine.
I will not.
And erase the part where you said girls choke you, and then erase the part where you showed a video of your email, and then erase the part where you showed a video of you tussling your hair.
That was me doing my testosterone test, ironically.
And now that happened.
Don't you have a money jar for when you play with your hair?
That counts.
That cannot count.
Yes, it counts.
It's the same suffering that the viewer has to endure of you playing with your hair.
I don't like the way you pronounce injury, but okay.
Sorry, enderi.
The viewer has to endery.
How much is in that jar to buy a fucking Maserati yet?
No.
And it wouldn't be my money that that's donated to the National Hair Foundation.
But yeah, Maddie's shitty little kitchen.
The next one coming out.
Holy fucking shit.
It's fucking awesome.
And he reads your messages.
So email Maddie.
Mailbag at censored.tv, MSLK being the subject.
MSLK.
Maddie's shitty little kitchen, MSLK page.
And I make sure that's the subject.
He has a phrase now.
It's overwhelming.
He has a what?
Remember?
Maddie has his own catchphrase now.
What is it?
Two fingers piecing him out?
Nope.
It's about seven sentences long.
Do you remember it?
You're like, keep watching.
Keep going.
Believe in yourself.
Never let yourself down.
And always cook if you can, no matter what the size of your kitchen is.
Yes.
That is pretty good.
I think it's this.
Paragraph long.
But next week, this whole chicken.
No, that's.
That was the last week.
The following week, yeah.
I'm out of order.
But anyway.
Keep cooking.
Keep enjoying.
Keep watching.
Keep writing in.
Keep commenting.
I got to keep it a lot of shit.
I got to need a storage unit for all that shit.
I'm keeping it.
That is catchy.
Get fired.
Get in trouble.
No, step aside.
It's caught up in the moment.
Caught up in the moment.
All right.
So before we go, we're going.
Oh, yeah.
Have we read an email yet?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Wait, wait.
No, we haven't.
I lied.
Okay.
We did not.
So let's read an email.
Okay.
What's the first purple flag?
First perp play.
Hey, fellas, I'm a subscriber for a few years now.
Love what you are doing, Gavman.
Ryan, not so much.
Fuck you.
Just wanted to ask Maddie a question.
What are the poached scrambled eggs?
Do you poach and then scramble?
Or do you just scramble, then poach?
I'm a cook living for a living.
I love your show, MSLK, is for the next Scottish dish you teach.
Have you tried cocka leaky pie?
Here's a link to the recipe.
It's so good.
You'll fuck Stacey Abrams for a slice.
It's also a simple, shitty little kitchen meal.
Love your new sunglasses.
Like when I say poached scrambled eggs, it's just they're cooked in a lot of butter.
And the culinary term would be they're blonde eggs.
But a scrambled egg has been mashed to shit.
A poached egg, you still has the yolk.
Yeah, but it's scrambled, but when you put it in the pan, it's like a medium-high heat.
And then as soon as the eggs hit the pan, you turn the flame down real low because there's not supposed to be any color on like omelets or scrambled eggs, like no brown or anything like that.
Okay.
And it's tons of butter.
It looks liquidy like they're runny eggs, but they're not because it's like poached in butter.
But like poached eggs is in like water with like vinegar and stuff like that.
It's totally different.
Oh.
Wait, am I fucking up?
What are the things that are in the little cups?
That eggs?
That's poached egg.
Okay.
Right.
So I'm saying it's like poached in, it's cooked in a like a fuck ton of butter.
But when the eater gets it, it's in a little cup.
No.
No little cup.
It's not cooked in a little cup.
The little cup doesn't participate.
But I thought that's what defined a poached egg.
A real poached egg is cooked not in a little cup.
They usually put it in water with like vinegar.
Yeah.
Okay, I know less now than I did going into this.
Sweet.
But you don't put it in that cup because that egg actually gets cooked by steam.
What's Eggs Benedict?
Eggs Benedict has Hollandaz sauce and stuff on it.
Hollandaise, yeah, yep.
So what's that I'm looking at?
That's Eggs Benedict?
That's a poached egg.
Well, yeah, it's poached eggs on like a bread with like ham and then a hollandaise sauce on top.
Okay.
See, that's a poached egg right there, a real traditional poached egg in water with vinegar so it keeps it short form and stuff.
Ryan, look up like a blonde.
I want to see if Eggs Benedict now.
I'm lost.
Is it who you're talking about?
In a ramekin?
No, no, no.
Eggs Benedict is going to be.
Eggs and ramekin.
What the fuck are you doing now?
Eggs and ramekin.
Now we're going over to Kenoshi, Japan.
Eggs in the rumic.
That's eggs Benedict.
Okay.
I love Eggs Benedict.
What's the difference between a poached egg and a Benedict egg?
Poached egg, but it's got ham.
It's got like Canadian hand.
It's a topping.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
English muffin and hollandaise sauce.
Okay, okay, we're catching up now.
Yeah, yeah.
So now let's get back.
The original question is, what is a what was it again?
Put like a blonde omelette or poached scrambled egg.
A poached scrambled egg.
Yeah.
I don't know if I'm going to come up on a picture, but that looks like the dick that lesbians get.
Go scroll down.
You see that one right there?
This one?
Yeah.
Let me with the spaghetti in it?
It's got a shit ton of onions in it.
But you see all that brown on the scramble, like on those eggs?
That's not supposed to be there.
It's supposed to be called the colour.
Oh, yeah.
All this.
Right.
That's not the way you cook eggs.
Okay.
Like, okay, over there on the left.
See, he's got the chives at the bottom left corner.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Bottom left corner.
Bottom left corner.
There.
Yeah, that's like, that's called blonde.
Yum.
Yeah.
Oh, that shit looks dope.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I don't like the texture when it gets all brown like that, too.
It gets tough.
Yeah, it sounds racist.
Those aren't really good eggs.
Okay, we're going to leave, but before we do, we'd like to thank our other sponsor for today's show, Johnny Apple CBD.
They've been with us since day one.
All the magic of that evil drug marijuana without the illegal part.
You can even get a buzz off the Delta 8s.
You got the gummies, help you sleep, give you groovy dreams.
You got the tincture for the coffee.
You've got the cartridges for the vape pen.
The muscle music.
It's amazing the variety at johnnyapple.com.
You got the creams, the topicals.
You know, my wife swears by the topicals if she's going out for the night with high-heeled shoes.
You put on your feet, your feet don't hurt.
Johnnyapple.com, johnnyapplecbd.com also works, obviously.
The promo code is Gavin.
You get 15% off.
God bless these guys for sticking with us through thick and thin since day one.
Very impressive, these guys.
Whenever you see a sponsor on the show, know they've been through hell.
Orlando Weekly couldn't hack it.
They couldn't take the heat.
JohnnyApple.com has been telling assholes to fuck off since our very first episode.
So God bless them and their cotton.
You want to do a fun thing?
Here, hold these three.
Two of them are not going to get me blazed, and one of them is.
Okay.
That's a fun thing.
Okay.
Oh, this is a bad one.
I could feel it because of the tape.
That's not cheating.
But that's legal what you're doing right now in every country in the world, right?
Smooth.
Ninja.
By the way, in the future, Ryan, when you give me three things and one of them has a skull and crossbone on it, know that I'm going to make sure that your hand goes to the sponsor.
You were supposed to shuffle those, though.
In the interest of fairness.
Yeah.
In the interest of funness, I'm obviously going to give you whatever has the poison logo on it.
That is a good doy.
We're going to get you fucked up.
Anyway, that should give you a reasonable taste of what Thursday nights are like here at GOML.
It's not really what the typical shows are like.
Typical shows, much more formal.
I've got a suit on.
We do green screens.
We do segments.
The show is very well organized.
It's like Tucker Carlson meets Opien Anthony, meets Howard Stern, but much ruder.
I think that's an accurate assessment.
So until we see you, freeloaders next week, here comes the saying.
And to all you guys we'll see tomorrow, here comes the saying.
Keep watching.
Keep writing in comments.
Keep eating.
Keep doing what you do.
Get fired.
Get in trouble.
Be brave.
And never stop fighting.
I tried to warn you that I'm bad and I'm loose.
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