GOML LIVE #149 - HI VIS MAIL BAG (Part 1)
We open a hundred t-shirts from hi-vis fans and lament the death of Otis Redding.
We open a hundred t-shirts from hi-vis fans and lament the death of Otis Redding.
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Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes. | |
Well you can fuck off, cause I'm worth it, six to your win. | |
You think the life is really tough when your daddy won't buy you a brand new car. | |
Take a girl out, she won't fuck you, you just bought her a gram of coke. | |
Stand with your money on shitty car. | |
I'm not a loser. | |
That's right, I'm not a loser. - Woo! | |
That was The Descendants. | |
I'm Not a Loser. | |
Have you got my printouts Ryan? | |
For that? | |
That was a popular hardcore band when I was a young man. | |
Milo Goes to College. | |
It was a hardcore band that had a nerdy singer. | |
And that was their sort of their gimmick. | |
They made it work. | |
Yeah, I know I'm a nerd I know I go to MIT, but I'm the singer of a hardcore band and Take it or leave it so they had a song called I'm not a loser and I got a update from a baby monster who said You got to check out the descendants. | |
They're still on tour. | |
They're doing these reunions, right? | |
They're all old now. | |
They're my age But they're changing the lyrics so the old lyrics for that are just dumb like I Animal house bullshit throwaway lyrics. | |
Think that I'm a loser because my pants are too low. | |
Think that I'm a slob because I got holes in my shoes. | |
Think that my cock is just like my dirty shirt. | |
It's like what an 11 year old would write. | |
Well you can fuck off because I'm working 60 a week, right? | |
And then, uh, he gets really mad at the very end of the song, and he goes, You're a fucking son of a bitch, you arrogant assholes! | |
Your pants are too tight, you fucking homos! | |
You suck, Mr. Buttfuck! | |
You don't belong here! | |
Go away, you're fucking gay! | |
you're mad you you've lost your temper okay it that's all part of the song but the new rewrite is so we go from your pants are too tight you fucking homos you suck mr. buttfuck you don't belong here you fucking gay That's awesome. | |
Anyone with an adult, well maybe I shouldn't be showing people's addresses. | |
Anyone with an adult mind gets the context of the song. | |
It's a guy who's being picked on by like cool jocks or whatever and he's retaliating right? | |
So now the line has been changed to your pants are too tight instead of you fucking homos it's your fucking disco. | |
And instead of, you suck Mr. Buttfuck, it's, and, you don't belong here, you fuckin' gay, it's, you don't belong here, go away, hey! | |
Fucking terrible. | |
Go away, hey! | |
Cheers everybody. | |
Which is kinda gay. | |
Oh, uh, welcome back, Matty Odell. | |
Everybody, what's up? | |
Good to be here, good to be seen. | |
The other line is, I'll have my way, cause, so this is the old version. | |
I'll have my way, you won't have a say anyway, cause I got you, you won't stand a chance. | |
That's fine. | |
What's the matter with that? | |
It's, it's too violent. | |
So the update is, I want to have my way. | |
I know I've got no say anyway, because I want you. | |
So just give me a chance. | |
That's a different song, by the way. | |
So another song was a violent song about taking someone on, fighting someone. | |
And now instead of, you won't stand a chance, it's, so just give me a chance. | |
What the fuck? | |
Who would go pay money to see those fools? | |
And he's really upset about it. | |
Like, he's really awkward about it where he says, uh, well, 2022, you know, times have changed and our lyrics don't have the same meaning. | |
It's like the Who. | |
They used to do, hope I die before I get old. | |
They'd keep playing that even when they were in their sixties because they got that. | |
They got old. | |
We're old and we get the context. | |
It changed. | |
Anyway, welcome back to the show, Matty O'Dell. | |
What's up everybody? | |
Of course we have Sylvia here. | |
Happy to be here. | |
And we have tons of mail. | |
I asked everyone to send in their HiVizTs. | |
I think we overdid it. | |
So let's have a moratorium on HiVizTs starting right now. | |
700 billion and a trillion three hundred million billion dollars. | |
I think we have too much here. | |
I've got an Arizona toothpick to open them all. | |
Arkansas toothpick there, buddy. | |
Arkansas? | |
Yeah. | |
Oh. | |
The Bowie knife. | |
We also have our sponsors. | |
Which I'm going to get to momentarily. | |
First, Johnny Apple CBD. | |
Johnny Apple CBD supplies you with non-drug-related, non-illegal Products that are incredible. | |
We've got the tincture that takes the edge out of the coffee We got the gummies that help you to sleep at night. | |
We've got the The vapes this is a little out of my generational understanding. | |
This is more Ryan's field. | |
I don't know what a vape is But Ryan you use them, right? | |
I do and what do you think? | |
Well, first of all, I think they're great. | |
Second of all, I just found out they're rechargeable, too. | |
So it's a one-time-use juice, and then on the bottom you could recharge it if you'd like. | |
Do you have any idea how gay and lame it is to put a pin on a hat? | |
I guess gay. | |
Is the rad zone turning into the fag zone? | |
Never. | |
That's a good question. | |
It's always been the fag zone. | |
It never has. | |
That's a good question though, Matty. | |
I think it may be! | |
You suck, Mr. Buttfuck. | |
You don't belong here, you fucking gay. | |
No, I'm the new lyrics. | |
That's like putting a pin on your shoe. | |
Or your sock. | |
Well, he does that with his Crocs. | |
I do have gibbets. | |
They're called gibbets. | |
Oh my god. | |
FYI. | |
No wonder your dad abandoned you when you were a baby. | |
He knew you were gonna suck shit. | |
How would he know? | |
No one's gonna know. | |
No one's gonna know. | |
They're gonna know. | |
They're gonna know. | |
So if you go to johnnyapplecbd.com, which is johnnyapple.com, you put in the passcode GAVIN, you get 15% off all of their incredible products. | |
And we thank them for being here since day one and supporting this show despite all the backlash from the radical left. | |
Oh no. | |
Did I tell you the story about the vape? | |
No. | |
Ryan had given me one, so I don't really vape because I have asthma. | |
Didn't you go to jail for vapes? | |
Yeah, well, yeah. | |
But I gave one to Jimmy, the liberal bartender. | |
Oh yes. | |
And he was going to Virginia to move his mother back, so halfway through his trip on the train, he's in Baltimore, and he texts me, he goes, Does that thing you gave me, is it gonna get me high? | |
And I go, no, it'll calm me down. | |
He goes, I go, why? | |
He goes, some guy decided to jump in front of the train, commit suicide. | |
Oh shit. | |
He was stuck three and a half hours. | |
So he had the Johnny Apples CBD vape on the train to keep him calm. | |
I was just with him. | |
Yeah. | |
20 minutes ago. | |
Surprised he didn't tell you the story. | |
Yeah, what an asshole. | |
He told me about my bet though, which I fucked up with the Mets bet. | |
Oh yeah? | |
Here's the deal with my bookie. | |
He gives me, uh, we settle every 500 bucks. | |
So if I'm 500 down or 500 up, then we settle. | |
So Matty pointed out something I'd forgotten. | |
I got an envelope with $570 in it. | |
Yeah. | |
So when I said I was $280 down, I was, that was that week. | |
So I'm actually 484 up. | |
So you're up 44. | |
Yes. | |
Yeah, you're still playing with house money. | |
I'm still playing with house money. | |
I cannot tell you how many fucking baby monsters have emailed me and gone, you shouldn't be losing more money, everything should be a hundred bucks. | |
Fuck! | |
Stop explaining gambling to me! | |
If Max Scherzer, who hasn't lost as an opening pitcher in like 10 years, or maybe more, If he loses, I lose a fortune. | |
Obviously, if you bet on like the Cincinnati Reds, who are the last team in the league, if you bet on them, you bet $1,000 and you win, you're going to win more than $1,000. | |
Similarly, if you bet on the Yankees and you lose, you're going to lose a lot because they're the number one team in the league. | |
It all depends on the pitching. | |
There's so many factors that go into it. | |
There's tons of factors. | |
Obviously, it's not 100-100 everything. | |
But what I predict is going to happen, we just lost Scherzer, we lost Mad Max, so here's my prediction. | |
The Mets are going to bomb. | |
Plummet? | |
They're going to plummet. | |
What about DeGrom? | |
Do you think he's coming back or what? | |
Not for a while. | |
But when we're at the bottom, and I predict I'm going to be $1,000 in the hole, Scherzer and DeGrom are going to return at the same time. | |
And then it's going to be a phoenix rising from the ashes and my odds are going to be amazing. | |
Oh shit, they won't be amazing though if Scherzer and DeGrom are pitching no matter what the Mets write. | |
Well DeGrom may not have great odds because he's coming back from injury and stuff. | |
Okay, good. | |
Depends on how well he starts pitching. | |
So I'll have good odds and then I'm going to make a shit ton of money. | |
Hopefully. | |
But we got screwed on the Mets this week. | |
Monday. | |
Yes. | |
We were denied our show. | |
Yeah. | |
We were denied our game. | |
Because... Of a fake store. | |
Tornado warnings in New York City? | |
What the fuck are you talking about? | |
It rained for what? | |
20 seconds. | |
Like, literally 10 minutes. | |
Who did I date? | |
Anyway, let's start going through some of these fucking hi-vis tees. | |
This was given to me by my Jew immigration lawyer. | |
Who got me my citizenship. | |
I- I think I was drinking with him. | |
I don't think Jews are used to drinking alcohol much. | |
Can't hear you so good. | |
Uh... So, I- I think he probably regrets giving me this. | |
He was drunk out of his mind. | |
Whoa, look at this one! | |
Holy shit! | |
Brotherhood of Locomotive Engineers... Tra-lin-men? | |
There you go! | |
That's a quality jacket, baby! | |
That's a fucking cracker! | |
Nice! | |
As they would say in Scotland. | |
Is that your new jumper, son? | |
This keeps getting better. | |
Look at this! | |
Uh-oh. | |
Overalls! | |
Is that Oshkosh? | |
No, better! | |
This is the ultimate LARPing shirt. | |
It's like an engineer's shirt. | |
Jesus, it's like Christmas. | |
- People are gonna think I work hard for a living. | |
Wow, look at that. | |
Alright, nice. | |
What a wimp. | |
You put those on with your fire hose pants, you're fucking in there, son. | |
Sylvia, does this make your pussy wet? | |
Definitely. | |
When you see a guy with a shirt like this, you're like, this guy fucking busts his ass. | |
It's exciting. | |
He's gonna fuck me. | |
He's gonna rattle my loins. | |
Unbelievable. | |
Amazing. | |
This is amazing. | |
It's definitely not beta. | |
Oh my god, this is such a cool shirt. | |
Perfectly worn out, too. | |
You know, my grandfather was such a narcissist that he would buy clothes and he'd put them under the front rug of the house. | |
So when the family would walk in and out, they would break in the clothes. | |
So when he was finally ready to wear them... Well, they probably didn't have washing machines back then. | |
No, I don't think they did. | |
No. | |
My mother in Scotland had an outhouse. | |
Yeah, so did mine. | |
Yeah. | |
Well, maybe our- maybe our grandmothers- Four miles apart from each other. | |
Maybe they were friends. | |
Could've, possibly. | |
What if I said to Janet Thompson- It's actually my mother's birthday today. | |
Happy Heavenly Birthday, Mary. | |
Holy fuck, what if my mother knows your mother? | |
My mum. | |
What if our mums knew each other? | |
Let's call my mum right now. | |
There you go. | |
Lorraine Hear you For fuck's sake, son. | |
See you, small! | |
What's this poo-poo? | |
It's a patch, I guess. | |
Look at this quality. | |
People don't understand the cost that comes associated with work clothes. | |
It's not cheap. | |
This has a little pin on it, too. | |
Oh, it's a real pin. | |
Hi, honey. | |
Hear you, you alright, hen? | |
Oh, I'm just great. | |
Thanks, buddy. | |
No, I'm just totally fine. | |
I'm sitting here with my laptop and a great book. | |
You'll have to read it. | |
It's a story of, um, you know, Alexander Graham Bell, who invented the telephone. | |
A Scotsman, wouldn't you know it? | |
Lo and behold! | |
A Scotsman invented something else. | |
Who would have thunk it? | |
Not only golf. | |
I'm here with Matty O'Dell. | |
You remember Matty O'Dell? | |
Of course! | |
I love him. | |
By the way... Hello Lorraine. | |
The biggest hit... I'm glad you called because I wanted to ask you this. | |
The biggest hit I had with Tristan Inson, you know, the usual old crowd. | |
Six of us. | |
I made my soup and it was curried cheese cauliflower. | |
You know what my secret sauce was? | |
Curry powder and my secret sauce was HP sauce. | |
Two big tablespoons. | |
And that's what put it over the edge. | |
I'm just concerned the possibility that you might know Matty's mum. | |
Years ago. | |
Years ago, back in the 60s. | |
What was your mum's name, Matty? | |
Her midname was Rutherford. | |
What's her full name? | |
Mary Rutherford. | |
Did you know Mary Rutherford from Scotland Street? | |
Scotland Street in Kingston. | |
In Kingston. | |
Glasgow. | |
Mary Rutherford. | |
Aye, she had perfect tits. | |
She had about eight or nine brothers and sisters too. | |
I'd love to write that down, honey. | |
It sounds vaguely familiar but, I mean, well, was she associated with Sholins School at all? | |
Did she go to Sholins? | |
No, she went to Scotland Street School. | |
Scotland Street School. | |
It's a museum now. | |
Anyway, we've got to go back to the show, Mum. | |
I'll call you back later. | |
Love you, Ma. | |
So this is another outfit. | |
Look at this quality. | |
And Dale Construction. | |
Nice. | |
And Dale Construction. | |
This is not going to impress the people who are only listening to the audio. | |
No, it's a visual show. | |
We've got cool letters here. | |
GearGav, Matty, and ChinkyFag. | |
Who would that be? | |
Who is Robbie Silvia? | |
Greetings from the great state of Kansas. | |
Here are some shirts and a hoodie from my company. | |
I apologize. | |
They're a little big. | |
They were blah blah blah. | |
That's not interesting. | |
Sounds like a guy who might break for queefs. | |
That's right. | |
You go to censored.tv and you go to the shops category. | |
You can get yourself an I don't break for queefs t-shirt. | |
Here's another Hi-Viz orange. | |
Pan Pacific Mechanical. | |
Nice! | |
I like that one. | |
It's got an American flag on it. | |
Oh man. | |
You know, in Texas, I was talking to a guy and I heard an expression I never heard before. | |
He goes, dude, that is handy. | |
He was talking about a little hand vac. | |
I'd never seen one that small that had that much power before. | |
I go, that thing looks great. | |
You can clean out your car with that. | |
He goes, dude, this is handier than a shirt with pockets. | |
Handier than a shirt with pockets. | |
Every time I see a shirt with pockets, I think. | |
What a quality. | |
Look, this guy has instructed us on where his return address is and what size of hi-vis shirt he had. | |
Our hi-vis shirts are coming momentarily, folks. | |
Yep. | |
Now, do you remember the other day when you and I were in one of our locals and there was like a high-vis convention going on? | |
Yeah, that's New York every day at 3 p.m. | |
The entire corner of the bar, the walls were glowing. | |
Yeah, one of the guys came up to me that night and he was like, hey man, we met the other day at a different bar. | |
Oh yeah, he was your best bud. | |
And I was like, I don't remember you. | |
I didn't say I didn't remember you, we spoke. | |
No, you told me though. | |
I didn't remember him. | |
And then I think we both slowly realized we have nothing in common and he moved on. | |
The Buy Us Company, all seasons, all services, buyus.com. | |
There you go, look at that. | |
No, b-y-u-s-c-o dot com. | |
That looks cool. | |
I'm gonna be able to share some of these, boys. | |
Alright. | |
And what do the letters say that come in these? | |
Um... Enclosed, please find two high-vis landscaping shirts from the Buy Us Company at a Jonesboro, Maine. | |
A horrible company with a deliberately tough-to-remember name because it's a front for meth dealers and such. | |
Nice! | |
Well, that just became our favorite shirt. | |
I need that shirt. | |
The Bobby P shirt. | |
And everybody knows I love my Bobby P. Please, if possible, return one 2XL GML shirt. | |
I am fat. | |
You know, did you know this? | |
My t-shirt guy told me there's a massive shortage with double XL hi-vis. | |
Really? | |
Yeah. | |
Well, thank God I slimmed down to an XL. | |
Large is basically all we can get. | |
Jesus Christ. | |
Everybody needs to go to that place in Maine and get all that meth front people. | |
What's this one? | |
Ooh, look at that! | |
That's fancy. | |
Long-sleeve too. | |
That's nice. | |
Block construction. | |
Block! | |
Alright. | |
This might not be as exciting as I thought. | |
No, the block is good. | |
As far as unwrapping goes. | |
It's not like, you know, when they get those toy unveilings. | |
What's this one now? | |
See, I keep pushing this on my son. | |
USA! | |
We believe in all heroes. | |
Some heroes swear. | |
Swear in. | |
Others sour in. | |
No, Scourin', sorry. | |
Napa is proud to support all heroes. | |
See, this is an awesome shirt. | |
I was pushing this on my son, and he's like, nah, we already did, Nike already did Hi-Viz. | |
I'm like, this isn't fucking Nike, you faggot. | |
This is, this is the backbone of America. | |
I go, this is a whole different thing. | |
I'm trying to get you to wear Hi-Viz in your yuppie community. | |
All the parents will hate it. | |
What's this one? | |
Orange GML large, please. | |
Here's a gospel tract. | |
Uh, you definitely need it. | |
With the way you always take my lord's name in vain. | |
Sorry for the bad handwriting. | |
Just rode my Harley all day and need food. | |
Handshakey. | |
Dude, you want to talk about need food? | |
Ryan and I have not eaten in three days. | |
Correct. | |
And it sucks shit. | |
Oh, I got you snake juice, by the way. | |
Oh, he sent me a Jack Chick tract. | |
I've never seen anyone send a Jack Chick tract unironically. | |
Yeah, you know what's weird about this hunger strike? | |
So we are not eating because Proud Boys from The Meandering are in prison. | |
They have committed to a spiritual fast where they're only drinking water. | |
So we have committed to the same. | |
Um, I've never done a hunger strike before. | |
I've never done a fast before. | |
I cannot tell you how much it sucks. | |
I'd rather be in a gay relationship in the West Village right now. | |
If we could go to restaurants together. | |
Holy shit does it suck. | |
And one weird thing about it is I've never experienced this before. | |
I have no libido. | |
Really? | |
Eva Mendez could be begging to suck my dick. | |
I'd tell her to maybe stick with the Ryan Gosling. | |
They said it gets better after this first 72 hours. | |
Like the mental fuck goes away a little bit. | |
Well, I think your body is going, I don't want you to fuck. | |
I want you to get food. | |
Because clearly, if you can't feed yourself, you're probably not the kind of guy who should be breeding. | |
So, uh, don't worry about inseminating women. | |
You're not reliable. | |
So right now it's focused on getting us food. | |
There you go. | |
And getting good at it, if you will. | |
Four more days, that's it. | |
I think I might have been a little worse than Ryan. | |
I have some confessions to make. | |
96 hours. | |
I had a coffee this morning with milk and sugar. | |
Oh. | |
What? | |
Believe it or not. | |
Tonight, my son was eating a pizza. | |
He doesn't like his pepperonis. | |
He took his pepperonis off. | |
I ate three little pepperonis. | |
Believe it or not, when you fast, it gets you in touch with your soul, with your spirituality. | |
And for whatever reason you're fasting, it does it. | |
I don't know why, but it does. | |
Right now it's getting me in touch with the thought of cheeseburgers. | |
I think I am becoming enlightened slowly. | |
Last night I went to James O'Keefe's thing at Stand Up New York. | |
Oh, how was that? | |
Dude, he's crushing it. | |
I think he might be on the spectrum a little bit. | |
Because he focuses on a thing, like musicals, and then just dominates. | |
Yeah, when we did that little bit where he tackles me for doing an impression of him, I was like, yeah, I was going to do this, and he was like, oh no, that's too much. | |
He was like, I can only compute with one thing at a time. | |
You throw in another, we don't know what we're gonna do. | |
Is he that mechanical? | |
That's his news voice though you're doing. | |
That's not his normal voice. | |
He said that too, he's like, that's not my voice. | |
That's my news voice! | |
But he came out on stage, obviously it's all Project Veritas people so they love him, but you know the whole story with this? | |
So we've seen the recent homo thing where this gay guy at Veritas goes, yeah we don't do free speech and these people are stupid and we need to show them how to live. | |
So he went to meet that guy and the guy started running. | |
They're in the Upper West Side. | |
So James chases him, and so do the cameramen. | |
And they first run into Stand Up New York. | |
And the owner of Stand Up New York goes, what are you doing here? | |
And he goes, sorry, I'm James O'Keefe, and I'm chasing a guy from Twitter, an executive. | |
And the owner goes, I love you, and I hate Twitter. | |
How about this? | |
They start formulating a plan. | |
You do stand up and then you call out the guy and we'll shine a spotlight on him. | |
And as they're coming up with that plan, the guy runs out. | |
So he runs to a restaurant. | |
And James goes, all right, great, this is gonna be a problem. | |
Goes to the restaurant and they say, who are you? | |
Exact same story again. | |
And she goes, I love you. | |
She's a Hungarian who grew up in Czechoslovakia under Stalin. | |
And she goes, you're the best. | |
I wanna be, make sure you tag the name of my restaurant in your footage. | |
Classic. | |
So he showed all that footage and portrayed it in a comedy way at the same club where they had come up with that original plan. | |
Nice. | |
Stand-up New York, right? | |
Was Bowling Balls there? | |
Bowling Balls was there. | |
Nice. | |
There it is. | |
And James O'Keefe goes, oh look Gavin McInnes is in the front row. | |
They gave me, me and Anthony Kumia, they gave us nice seats. | |
And then he goes, you look like Wilford Brimley with AIDS. | |
You stole your joke? | |
That's my joke. | |
He stole my self-diss. | |
And he's doing my impression of himself. | |
Now that's shirt right there, bud. | |
What's it say on the back? | |
Villa. | |
That looks massive, though. | |
This is a 2X. | |
Yeah, that's a pick. | |
I like how it's blinding on screen. | |
I would wear this to a fight. | |
So you got what you have there, Gav. | |
Going back to the fast, you didn't finish your confessions. | |
Oh yes. | |
Alright, a couple pepperonis. | |
So I've also been drinking like a fish. | |
I've been drinking beers willy-nilly. | |
Uh, whiskeys. | |
That's not fair. | |
And at James O'Keefe's thing last night, we went upstairs to like a VIP room. | |
There's pizzas everywhere. | |
I did not have a slice, obviously. | |
But there was about this much of someone's discarded, maybe they didn't like the cheese or whatever. | |
Oh, yeah. | |
I think my body said we need salt. | |
I grabbed like a mustache worth of cheese off the pizza thing last night and I ate it. | |
A mustache worth of cheese. | |
A mustache worth. | |
Anything that your body has to metabolize. | |
Is consider breaking your fast. | |
Just so you know. | |
Oh come on. | |
One little nibble. | |
But how is liquid, how is liquid different? | |
How is a beer, is a beer breaking the fast? | |
Water! | |
Water. | |
You don't metabolize water. | |
Like if you have coffee, you're metabolizing the coffee. | |
Okay, so I cheated. | |
Yes. | |
Has anyone heard from Ethan? | |
Nope. | |
How they're doing on their end? | |
I have an idea to end this shit. | |
We have to call the prison and go... This is immoral. | |
You have prisoners on strike. | |
They could die. | |
You need to shove a feeding tube up their nose and into their body now. | |
That happens. | |
Let's do it. | |
When you refuse to eat, they will come get you. | |
We'll be like, you want Ethan to die? | |
It's been three days! | |
Not after three days, they won't come do that. | |
Well, I hope they do soon. | |
The psych doctors and all that shit. | |
Hey, if there's any CEOs out there, I'll pay you $1,000. | |
In Northern Neck, Virginia? | |
To tackle Ethan... Northern Neck Prison. | |
Tackle Ethan Nordean and put a feeding tube up his fucking nose. | |
Because I need a cheeseburger badly. | |
What about you, Ryan? | |
What have you done? | |
I've done what I just handed you there. | |
This disgusting concoction. | |
Yes. | |
It's not good. | |
But it's called snake juice. | |
Is that the magnesium in it? | |
Yeah. | |
Magnesium, potassium, and sodium. | |
You drink fucking two liters of that. | |
There's one liter, fuck. | |
And this really angry Canadian guy made this drink up. | |
It's pretty much the same thing they give you with an IV if you need fluids. | |
So... | |
I've justified it because it keeps you feeling from shit and I have work to do here. | |
Gav, did it make you taste like shit? | |
Your face is like... | |
It's just salty. | |
It's just pure salt. | |
It just tastes like salt. | |
It tastes like salt water from the ocean. | |
Well, the baking soda is there to cut down the saltiness. | |
Baking soda? | |
What, are you making crack? | |
Why am I trusting the biggest retard I know to keep me alive? | |
Because he's swole. | |
I am swole. | |
Now, I feel a little flat, but... Okay, so I went to my wife's graduation. | |
They had the NYU graduation finally. | |
And she fucking is eating these delicious chicken tenders. | |
The most golden... | |
Like Yankee Stadium could afford really good food. | |
And then the fries. | |
They weren't like the styrofoamy shitty fries or frozen fries. | |
They were like perfect fries. | |
They're not hand cut. | |
They're not fries. | |
They were hand cut. | |
But there are chips like at Citi Field, they have those wobbly ones that within the world of frozen fries, they're pretty amazing. | |
Yeah. | |
Well, these were great and it was hard not to eat them. | |
So I literally, I picked one up and I just went, fuck you. | |
And then I put it back instead of eating it. | |
Wow. | |
That's, and Caroline has been like, she's, she's been like, you need to give this up or in a day, give it up. | |
And cause it's like affecting me and my, my fatherhood roles. | |
Cause I'll just be standing there and she's like, can you help? | |
And I'm like, Oh yeah. | |
What? | |
I'm just like zoning out. | |
That was, that was yesterday before the electrolytes. | |
So that should, that should make you feel better. | |
He did have a knife tip of salsa verde today. | |
No, I... Oh, minor detail, you skipped over. | |
That was today, though. | |
Puerto Ricans lie. | |
That's something everyone should know. | |
We do have some footage of this. | |
Break it out. | |
It's unfortunately true. | |
Isn't it amazing when you cheat, too? | |
Even if it's just a pepperoni, you get this, like, naked and afraid surge of energy. | |
My God. | |
It felt like I did a bump, for real. | |
Yeah, yeah. | |
It's the new bump. | |
It's the new bump. | |
I also feel like I'm on Adderall. | |
Because my body is going, get out and get food. | |
Get food. | |
Get in trouble. | |
He consumed something he could metabolize. | |
That is true. | |
Yeah, my reaction is like, wow. | |
You just gave me crack. | |
Dude, it's real good. | |
Too late. | |
I think we should break the fast real fancily like Keen's Steakhouse. | |
Yeah, I think that would be the best thing to do in solidarity of the prisoners, yes. | |
The butcher dude at the bar, the butcher union guy, he said that Keynes is number three in the world. | |
Nice. | |
The woad. | |
The woad. | |
You love their burgers. | |
Oh, the burgers. | |
We can't talk about food much longer. | |
No, no, no. | |
Start salivating. | |
How about this? | |
Food is sex, so I could not be less attracted to my wife. | |
My wife might as well be Maddie Odell lying in bed next to me. | |
But I saw a Lays truck reversing an 18-wheeler and it was a Victoria's Secret truck. | |
Like, chips have become the new lingerie. | |
I'm surprised you went that long without eating anything. | |
A couple days. | |
I still haven't eaten anything. | |
Well, you have. | |
No, I have not. | |
I can't believe you went one day without- I ate a grasshopper's worth of cheese pizza. | |
Coffee with milk and sugar is fucking eating. | |
Oh, come on. | |
A tablespoon of milk and literally half a teaspoon of sugar. | |
That's a severe calorie restriction, but you did eat. | |
You know what they say. | |
I've also been drinking Gatorade. | |
They say don't... It's full of sugar! | |
Yeah, it is full of sugar. | |
Oh my god! | |
I'm good for sugar. | |
What I was saying, black coffee and black tea, straight-up tea, they say if you have a like a dependence on caffeine or nicotine, don't do that while you're fasting. | |
Yeah, that's why I had it because you told me it was okay to have caffeine and alcohol. | |
Milk isn't... | |
Ah, you gotta color the... No, you don't gotta color the thing! | |
I'm a racist, I can't be having black liquids! | |
Now... You like your women like you like your coffee, black and bitter. | |
Dry and unforgiving. | |
Um... So that's basically that, and um... Yeah, anybody who wants to join up, you can still join up now. | |
Out there! | |
Apex piping systems. | |
See, the long-sleeve shirts are good when you ride. | |
Yeah. | |
I've got a whole new look. | |
Lightweight, long-sleeve shirts work. | |
So, um, what's gonna happen with this fucking stupid hunger strike that I hate? | |
You can't stop thinking about it. | |
Well, it's only seven days. | |
And it was funny because when I watched the episode... Oh, I don't want to go seven fucking days. | |
No, he said a spiritual strike. | |
Right. | |
Okay. | |
I can not do spiritual shit for a few days. | |
Just don't spiritually eat a burger. | |
Just eat a burger like that. | |
I go, he's just saying a spiritual fast. | |
He says his exact words are spiritual fast. | |
Right. | |
But he also said only drinking water. | |
Right. | |
Wait, you think he's chowin' down? | |
He better not fuckin' be chowin' down. | |
No, he's dedicated. | |
He's there. | |
At the gym this morning, the gym owner had some Italian dude come in right from the airport, from JFK, to the gym, and he had these little, like, fuckin' powdered croissant Italian pastries. | |
Nice. | |
He's like, you must want one of these, right? | |
You want one of these? | |
Oh, he's fucked with you. | |
I'm going to spar tomorrow. | |
I could be around food no problem. | |
Yeah, Friday. | |
Everyone's sparring Friday. | |
Do you actually feel hungry? | |
Or do you just think about food? | |
Because it's all psychological for me. | |
I don't feel hungry. | |
I feel fucking hungry. | |
Toxic Monster Truck. | |
That's a cool one. | |
Hi-Viz. | |
The cool thing with this show is you can come up with a concept. | |
Like I could have said goth. | |
And then we'd have a whole goth wardrobe. | |
We should get back in touch with Nate Ober. | |
Who? | |
He's a wacky fag show. | |
He's doing an NFT for you. | |
It's an anti-NFT for punks. | |
What's his name again? | |
Nate Ober. | |
Oh yeah, I've talked to him online. | |
He's an interesting character. | |
That's for sure. | |
That's a cool Pepsi one. | |
We have a couple of the high-fizz Pepsis. | |
That was the first ones. | |
Yeah. | |
The Zip-Up and the Pull-Over. | |
I'm gonna have to keep these together and be very careful about the paperwork. | |
So we can send them our shit back. | |
Um, Nate, speaking of sponsors... Alright, what's up? | |
Hey, what's up, Eric? | |
Can you see me? | |
Yeah, Nate, you're coming in great. | |
Nice throw, dude. | |
- Oh, he's blocked. - Okay. - Nice throw, dude. - Okay. | |
Hi Nate, how are you? | |
Hey, what's up man? | |
What meds are you on these days? | |
I'm on Vega-Sustaina for my schizo. | |
I'm getting off Welbutrin, which is a good thing because I've had really bad digestive symptoms. | |
Like what, diarrheas? | |
Yeah, I've been sitting like fucking mad, dude. | |
Same here. | |
And I'm nauseous every morning, like a hangover. | |
And it seems to be about when I started taking the Welbutrin, I had to wait to go to the gyno until the COVID shit was over. | |
Wait, the gyno? | |
The gynecologist? | |
Not a gyno, the gastro. | |
Nate delivers, fuck. | |
Yeah, I had to go get a tube. | |
Your eyeballs look like golf balls. | |
Are you an Adderall? | |
No, I'm not. | |
You promise you're not on meth? | |
Dude, you seem really dialed in. | |
You should get a gun. | |
No, I'm just drinking these, man. | |
He looks tweaked out. | |
I should be dialed out. | |
Oh, it's just caffeine. | |
Buy guns, dude. | |
No, it's beer. | |
It's beer. | |
We want schizophrenic and armed. | |
Nate Ober. | |
Alright, Nate, thanks for tuning in. | |
It's great to catch up with you. | |
This NFT thing, what's going on with that? | |
Oh yeah, what's your NFT thing? | |
Oh, anti-NFT thing? | |
It's, um, I'm not doing anti-NFTs, but, um, and, like, I was kind of, like, spreading, um, like, uh, you guys, you know, all you cancelled guys, but, um, now I'm starting to get back into the art of it, but I wanna, like, um, do, I wanna kick all their NFTS All their NFTR asses, but have them not for sale. | |
All right, great. | |
Sounds like a good idea. | |
Thanks for tuning in, Nate. | |
Later, Nate. | |
Take care, man. | |
Hey, I didn't realize you were on already. | |
No, no, we already said bye. | |
We already said bye. | |
All right, buh-bye. | |
Bye. | |
That's a blast from the past. | |
I can't believe I fucked that guy. | |
Yo, my man is Stone Cold Straight Up Spun. | |
Yeah, that looks pretty... He's tweaked out. | |
Right now. | |
Pretty high. | |
100%. | |
Not even gonna bullshit. | |
Oh, this is a good one. | |
DSB. | |
Nice. | |
Floor finishes. | |
That's nice. | |
I've started a new fashion here and my son rejects it. | |
Sylvia, what do you think about a young man in an affluent suburb who's like 13 years old wearing working-class clothes with all of these different companies from all over the country I mean it would be a major coup. | |
It's never been done. | |
Do you follow me? | |
What do I think of it? | |
I guess he wants to stand out to be different so maybe he's in sympathy with the working class. | |
What was your last husband's, well your present husband's job? | |
What was his job? | |
What is his job or what was his job? | |
The guy who's taking care of Tinkerbell's expenses. | |
He did interiors, exteriors of houses. | |
Like painting? | |
No, he could build. | |
Oh, I see. | |
He could build anything. | |
So that's something we haven't confronted on tonight's show. | |
Since we last saw you, ladies and gentlemen, Sylvia lost Tinkerbell. | |
Terrible. | |
Oh, sorry to hear that, Sylvia. | |
She's gone. | |
She had a bad heart. | |
But I had her 15 years, so I'm happy I had her as long as I did. | |
Now I got a little boy chihuahua. | |
A rescue dog. | |
He's very cute. | |
He's blind, isn't he? | |
Your new dog? | |
No, he's not blind. | |
No. | |
Oh, I was told he's blind. | |
No, he's sleeping. | |
But he's been abused. | |
Whoever had him didn't beat him and the children tortured him. | |
But now he's getting very relaxed. | |
And he knows he's loved, so he's pretty good. | |
You know? | |
Some people don't give a damn about dogs. | |
What's his name? | |
Peewee. | |
Peewee? | |
And you're calling him Peewee? | |
Was he Peewee before? | |
You're keeping Peewee. | |
No, I'm keeping Pee Wee. | |
That was his name and that's what he knows. | |
Right. | |
Now, when I picked you up for last week's show, Tinkerbell did a strange stretch on the bed and did like a... And she'd never cried like that before. | |
Maybe she knew it was her last night. | |
No, my daughter said when she was babysitting her and my daughter would go out, she would do the same thing. | |
But that's the first time I heard. | |
I never heard her do it, but my daughter told me, yeah, she had done that before. | |
Rest in peace, Tinkerbell. | |
Well, she's gone. | |
And RIP Tinkerbell. | |
Rest in peace, Tinkerbell. | |
And long live Pee-wee. | |
Pee-wee. | |
There you go. | |
This one's cool. | |
Franco Construction Services. | |
By the way, in order to get your super chat, any updates on Roger Stone, Scottish Hammer asks. | |
In order to get your message on, you go to the website, censor.tv, go to live, there's a banner on top, and then click this button right here, donate to read a live message on air. | |
Let's focus on our second sponsor for a second here. | |
Fopmedals.com. | |
It's a deceiving title because you think of FOP, which means a British dandy from 300 years ago. | |
Stop showing that fucking live chat. | |
No, I don't have any updates on Roger Stone. | |
FOP is spelled P-H-A-U-P. | |
And I don't care how ensconced you are in the financial industry, we are reaching unprecedented times here. | |
Everything is completely unreliable. | |
Front page of the Post today had Joe Biden on a train plummeting to his death. | |
We don't know what is going on. | |
We do know that there is a finite amount of precious metals. | |
And FopMetals.com is a place for you to put your money safely. | |
Not all your money. | |
Not every single penny. | |
But it makes sense to put aside a certain amount of silver that you can tangibly hold. | |
Bitcoin collapsed. | |
The dollar is collapsing. | |
Nothing is reliable but things you can hold in your hand. | |
And FopMetals.com is offering 15% off for anyone who uses the promo code GAVIN to put just a little bit aside. | |
Just a fair amount aside. | |
So when the shit hits the fan and you're left with absolutely nothing, the globalists get their digital currency and everything is erased, you still have your silver. | |
Fopmetals.com. | |
That's P-H-A-U-P metals.com. | |
Promo code Gavin. | |
Put something away. | |
Just a little bit. | |
Just put it away. | |
A few shits. | |
What's this one now? | |
Look, they printed out a color print-up. | |
Look at that! | |
Of the address. | |
Of course, don't forget, tickets on sale right now, live in Orlando, June 25th. | |
That's a Friday, folks, if you're listening. | |
tinyurl.com slash censoredlive. | |
Again, that's tinyurl.com slash censoredlive. | |
You can also scan the code on the top left of the screen. | |
What's this shirt? | |
Peter's Concrete. | |
There you go. | |
I officially have an incredibly extensive... Hi-Viz collection. | |
Collection of Hi-Viz shit. | |
We're almost done. | |
We're down to the last three. | |
Let's get some more Please stop sending these by the way We're good Unboxing music Ooh, I like that. | |
What's this guy say? | |
He says... | |
Love the show. | |
Mega ophthalmologist. | |
Okay. | |
Oh, he's an eye doctor. | |
Why would an eye doctor have this shit? | |
Oh, gosh. | |
So you can see him. | |
Wait, that looks like the previous one. | |
Yeah. | |
Yeah. | |
You won't go blind wearing that. | |
So, Sylvia, you seem to have bounced back from the loss of Tinkerbell pretty well. | |
Yeah, I gotta tell you, I like people, but I'm sorry to say dogs are better than people. | |
All they want is a little food for you to pet them. | |
They will give up their life protecting you without you asking them to. | |
Oh, we got a call from prison. | |
Sorry to interrupt. | |
An incarcerated individual at San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department. | |
This call is not private. | |
It will be recorded and may be monitored. | |
If you believe this should be a private call, please hang up and follow facility instructions to register this number as a private number. | |
To accept this free call, press 1. | |
To refuse, thank you for using Securus. | |
You may start the conversation now. | |
Hey Mercedes. | |
Hey Gavin. | |
How you doing? | |
I'm doing great. | |
I'm in jail and things are wonderful. | |
You know, every time I get a call from prison, I say, how you doing? | |
And I realize how stupid it sounds, but what it really means is like, are things like, is there an emergency? | |
Like say you got punched in the face an hour ago. | |
You know what I mean? | |
Yeah, you know what? | |
No, I mean, If I had gotten punched in the face an hour ago then I would be in handcuffs right now having to explain myself. | |
Right. | |
Then I probably would have punched back and it would be a whole thing. | |
So I guess how you do and really means are things worse than usual? | |
No, things are bad in the usual way. | |
Yeah, okay. | |
So, we're live on the show. | |
You're being recorded. | |
You're being broadcast live. | |
You've been, we believe, framed for a horrific crime. | |
We think it's because you're MAGA. | |
We think you're a political prisoner. | |
Yeah. | |
And we're interested in your case. | |
We want to know when it is. | |
If there's any hope of you seeing a judge anytime soon. | |
I go to court next Tuesday. | |
So... | |
Yeah, so I'll go to court next Tuesday. | |
Most people don't understand, though, that the criminal justice system does not function the way it does on TV. | |
So what happens when you go to court is you go to court and the district attorney and the judge are paid out of the same ledger. | |
So the district attorney will file charges against you and the judge will go, hey, I'll do whatever the district attorney says. | |
The district attorney says, yeah, I can't really I can't deal with Trump for a while. | |
Judge says, oh, okay. | |
Yeah, I understand that. | |
We'll just, you know, keep him locked up until then. | |
That's how that works. | |
So that's why you've been there for, what, four years now? | |
Three years? | |
Yeah, over three years. | |
People don't understand that this is what large bureaucracies do. | |
And if you want to understand the American 17, there's a book called The Gulag Archipelago by a man named Alexander Solzhenitsyn. | |
I suggest you read it, because the law in its infancy and the law in its intermediate state is kind of where we're at today. | |
And if you want to understand why we are in the state we're in right now, there's a book called Modern Times by Paul Johnson, which adequately explains the state of America. | |
Marxism has infected every single bit of the West today. | |
That's so true. | |
And this is what happens when you have a welfare state. | |
Because it is absolutely abnormal, absolutely abnormal for humans to fund the untermensch. | |
What's the untermensch? | |
Untermensch, the lowest of society. | |
It does not make sense for humans to take their resource and their capital and say, hey, let's give it to the absolute bottom of society. | |
So what should we do about the bottomless society? | |
Should they starve? | |
You know who should fund them? | |
These democratic liberals who have these wonderful large ranches that they're so keen to say, hey, oh, I have a wonderful ranch out in Ojai. | |
You know what? | |
That's wonderful. | |
They should put a kibbutz on it. | |
And then they should welcome all of those welfare people to come work on their kibbutz. | |
That's what they should be. | |
And you know what? | |
I think all those Hollywood liberals who love to say, oh, I'm really into farming these days. | |
Oh gosh, I love organic farms. | |
Well, wonderful. | |
I think you should have an organic farm. | |
And all of those people who are right now part of the welfare state should come live on your organic farm and kill the soil for you. | |
What a wonderful system that would be. | |
And the middle class should not be responsible for paying for them, but rather all of those Democrat You know, the Proud Boys in jail for January 6th are going on a hunger strike now, and Ryan and I have joined them. | |
And there's a reason for it, and they were called the Land of Gentry. | |
You know, the Proud Boys in jail for January 6th are going on a hunger strike now, and Ryan and I have joined them. | |
And they've only been in jail for a year and a half. | |
Okay. | |
So, we're gonna make our hunger strike part of your case. | |
Just starting right now, somehow. | |
Oh, well, you know, I don't know how well that will work. | |
You guys have fun with that. | |
I'm not about to starve. | |
You know, if anybody should be starving, if anybody should be starving, It's those who have not worked for their food. | |
Yes, good point. | |
Never should be starving in society. | |
Okay, Mercedes, these are great points. | |
We gotta go. | |
Alright, love you guys. | |
I like you more than a friend. | |
Bye. | |
It's always a problem with these... Oh, yeah, please. | |
Some sustenance. | |
It's always a problem with these, um, prison calls is you feel bad not doing the full half hour. | |
But, uh, we can't. | |
Well, they get a half an hour in San Bernardino? | |
Yeah. | |
Wow. | |
15 minutes, normally. | |
That's the norm? | |
15 minutes? | |
Yeah, and then they cut it off. | |
Then you gotta wait an hour to... Three sisters landscaping? | |
This might be gay. | |
Three sisters? | |
That might be some lesbians. | |
Although, I don't know why lesbians don't fuck each other. | |
That's a dumb thing to say. | |
I mean, sisters don't fuck each other, so... Alright, one of the last ones here. | |
We're down to the last two. | |
This seems like a fun one. | |
It's like Christmas here. | |
This one is... Sun Tribe Solar. | |
That one seems kind of gay. | |
Alright, last one. | |
Wait, no, no. | |
You like my Filson bag? | |
Now we have two more. | |
Don't USPS things have that zipped off thing you can do? | |
Pretend there's a cheeseburger inside. | |
Oh, look at this. | |
Bear hunting, an American heritage. | |
Ooh, a Budweiser patch. | |
And then we have... You got some Ipro there too. | |
Next-gen steel erectors. | |
That's cool. | |
It's got a sexual pun. | |
And then, um... Same thing. | |
Look at that one. | |
Wow, that's quality. | |
Good graphic design, working-class people. | |
And then the very last one here... ...is... ...just the word orange. | |
What the fuck is that? | |
Matty, eat the mic a little more. | |
Another shirt. | |
Huh? | |
That's it. | |
Get closer to the mic a little more. | |
Oh yeah, sorry. | |
All good. | |
Ryan, let's start taking calls and why don't you explain to the viewers how calls work and how they can call in and they'll accept their calls and then we'll talk to them. | |
Sure thing. | |
So guys, like I said, for Super Chats, you already know the drill, you go to the site, live show, you watch it on the browser, you click the button below it. | |
But in order to call in, Well, that's a little different. | |
You call 718-400-6959. | |
That's a toll-free number. | |
Actually, I don't know if that's true. | |
I just hear people say that. | |
718-400-6959. | |
And you could call in and talk to Gavin, Maddie, or myself. | |
Or Sylvia, of course. | |
And you could express any sort of thing you'd like. | |
Okay? | |
So that's how that works. | |
I'd also like to thank everybody who followed my new Instagram, as my old one was just banned today. | |
It was a rough one. | |
So we've broken a thousand followers, thank you very much. | |
And nopeyup89, because I was banned. | |
But let's get back to what's important. | |
Aren't you just going to get re-banned now that you advertise that? | |
Who knows? | |
I don't know how they work. | |
I think it's because it was linked to my, or because they realized my Facebook was linked to my phone. | |
Who's they? | |
Who realizes all this shit? | |
Exactly. | |
Good point. | |
Who are the realizers? | |
I want you to know out there, if you're a realizer, you're a fucking loser. | |
You're out there monitoring people, deciding who can and can't have a voice. | |
By the way, this is the wrong background, Ryguy. | |
Thanks for calling. | |
Oh. | |
He's got the mailbag up. | |
We should do the thanks for calling. | |
Yeah, let's do it. | |
We should have done that when I went piss. | |
You are on the air. | |
Um, you're not a conversation. | |
This is a fucking loser. | |
You want me to learn, share, listen, understand why? | |
Hey, why did someone get two things? | |
You got one thing. | |
Thank you for calling. | |
It was great hearing from you. | |
Bye-bye. | |
All right, next call. | |
Thank you. | |
To be honest, I can't be focused on making sure we, you know, have a concise half hour. | |
Hello? | |
Get everything else covered. | |
Yellow! | |
What's going on? | |
Yes. | |
Alright, I'm going to start this off with Gavin, you're the modern-day Jesus Christ, as I always do with these calls. | |
Gavin, on the Anthony Cumia Cop-On Spencer show you were on yesterday, you were talking about how you got into Better Call Saul. | |
And, uh, dude, I'm telling you, like, I'm not gonna give any spoilers, but that is, in my mind, the greatest show ever. | |
It gets better and better, which you can't say about most shows, and the character development and everything, like, like you were saying yesterday, that it's up there with The Sopranos or better. | |
I'm telling you, I think it surpasses it, man. | |
It's incredible. | |
Um, I kind of wasted my call on this, but I always fumble the bag because I'm in the presence of a god. | |
But, um... | |
Yeah it's fantastic and thanks for calling. | |
The thing about it too is you think you have it figured out like when the German guy who was the head foreman was lamenting the fact that he can't be with his wife and you go he's gonna kill himself he's gonna kill himself and then the bald dude goes hang in there you go oh he's gonna hang himself they just gave it away you just said hang in there Then I hate to be a spoiler spoiler alert. | |
He doesn't hang himself. | |
He does something totally different totally unpredictable So you never know where you stand with that show? | |
unbelievable Fucking amazing and it's weird because I always say fiction is for fags and you shouldn't read novels But I guess that is a novel. | |
I've been thinking recently about I know we promote books a lot and reading on this show, but I've been thinking recently that the written word might be dead. | |
Like look at, or even just the printed anything, look at our invitation for the show in Florida, right? | |
I copied it from an Animal House poster. | |
I had a guy help me with the caricatures. | |
I traced his caricatures and the Animal House poster. | |
It looks like utter shit. | |
And it doesn't inspire anyone to go to the show. | |
But then look at the sizzle reel that Ryan put together that we showed yesterday. | |
Let's show it again. | |
There's the before. | |
There's the garbage shit I did with pencil crayons for my kids art supplies. | |
No one wants to go to that. | |
Do you want to go to this? | |
Cut me out of it entirely, yeah. | |
It's frozen! | |
It'd be cool if it worked. | |
What happened there? | |
Computer took a shit. | |
Well, you gotta figure that out, my nigger. | |
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting. | |
Violent protest over a speaker on campus here in New York City. | |
He is apparently a Canadian writer, actor, comedian. | |
He's the co-founder of Vice. | |
Blaze Media no longer has a relationship with Gavin McInnes, and also YouTube decided to delete McInnes' account, leaving the Vice Media co-founder without any major social media platform. | |
Yeah, like Gavin is considered like a war criminal at this point. | |
I know Gavin very well. | |
So Anthony Kamea is part of Opie and Anthony, or he was part of Opie and Anthony. | |
Opie and Anthony are no more. | |
Sirius XM pulling the plug on Anthony Cumia this week for his seemingly hate-filled remarks on Twitter. | |
Yeah, it's called America, you dumb motherfucker! | |
They take anything you say and then fucking twist it around. | |
I'm in a weird situation as a comedian because I was only 10 years in as a stand-up when I got the show on Food Network. | |
We had Josh Denny on, host of the Food Network show, Ginormous Food. | |
No less than four times. | |
Use the n-word. | |
Oh no. | |
No we didn't. | |
I asked you not to say the n-word. | |
By the way, have you had pussy lately? | |
It's pretty whatever, okay? | |
And you come back and you see him like, and you go, oh my god! | |
Crowder took Dave Landau. | |
Why can't I keep my midgets? | |
Motherfucker! |