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April 25, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:38:30

S4E106 - APE FART

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	Don't use forget about me.
	I'll be alone dancing, you know it, baby.
	He's trying to, he's Scotswegian, that Jim Carr, and he's trying to sound American.
	Baby, baby.
	I don't want to say baby.
	Baby, dancing, you know it, baby.
	I was with the Scottish national boxing team on Saturday night.
	Oh, I. Oh, I. The reason I played Simple Minds, of course, is because I want to talk about Richard Vernon, the teacher in the movie The Breakfast Club, which I watched with my daughter yesterday.
	She hadn't seen it yet.
	I was watching it sort of through his eyes.
	I was like, this guy gave up his Saturdays.
	He's a good guy.
	And this really helped them.
	Almost everyone who had the detention fell in love.
	Four out of the seven.
	That's pretty good.
	You can get a teacher to easily do it.
	Four of the five, right?
	Four of the five fell in love.
	Yeah, the nerd was the only guy who didn't get any pussy.
	That's the way life is.
	He was going to kill himself.
	He's probably going to really kill himself now.
	But yeah, they came to our gym.
	This is what they do.
	They get money from the Scottish government.
	They're the Olympic team.
	And they go boxing all over the world.
	And they learn.
	There's ethnic styles to boxing.
	Mexicans are known for planting their feet and blocking, but taking hits to the head.
	They don't try to deke it out.
	They just take it.
	And then the European style is more like long super jabs.
	And they're not really concerned with killing you because in the Olympics, you get a point for every little bonk.
	And then the Bronx, the Puerto Ricans, want to murder you.
	So they get in close and they give you lots of little body shots.
	And they were not impressed with LA.
	I'm going to rat out Freddie Roach.
	They said LA fighters were late, not punctual.
	They fucked the dog.
	I think they told me not to tell anyone this.
	Too late.
	And they were very impressed with our guys.
	Very punctual.
	Like, boxing is a punctual sport, right?
	Ding, ding, ding, ding.
	You got to be there at the exact perfect moment.
	Even when I skip rope, when the round ends, I stop because I'm conditioning my brain to understand rounds.
	When they coach the kids, the kids get in big trouble if they hit the heavy bag beyond the round.
	So then we went out with them Saturday night, and I go, where are you?
	I spoke with a Scottish accent all night.
	I don't know why.
	And they go, we're here, Dunne, Dunbar, John Street.
	I'm like, okay, they're showing the Tyson fight there.
	Carabo Bo Bubos, Cabarero's, some name like that.
	I'll meet you there.
	Fight was amazing.
	The pre-fight, the card before it was surprisingly dull, but Tyson Fury fucking is amazing.
	He ended the fight with an uppercut that knocked the guy out.
	That's what you always want when you're watching a fight.
	Especially with buddies at the bar, you want a knockout.
	Although, some guys, there was other random Scottish people there.
	I don't know why.
	But they were saying, he's a japsee.
	This is fake.
	Did you hear that rumor?
	No.
	That will all be set up.
	I think the black guy got like $9 million and Tyson got like $35, $40 million.
	I think he's retiring after this.
	I would, too.
	He's got, I think he got $15 million for his two previous fights each, right?
	So that's $30.
	And then this one was $40.
	It's not easy to spend $70 million.
	Especially if you're not a fucking idiot who has an entourage.
	So you're good, Tyson.
	And there was this guy who found out that they're boxers, and he was tall, and he was acting like a tough guy all night.
	And I didn't say this to him, but I was thinking like, dude, these guys are from Glasgow.
	This one's a murderer.
	Like, he was special forces in Afghanistan.
	He's married to like a Russian mobster who his wife's father like controls Moscow.
	These guys, you can tell someone is scary when they're really nice and polite.
	And that's what these guys were.
	So we had to lose the fucking dork.
	And one of the guys was hitting on this woman who must have been 60, 55.
	And we were all aware of it too.
	And he was hugging her and stuff.
	And she gets up and she goes, I felt like someone's making a face behind my back there.
	And I go, yeah, I was.
	I was going like this, woohoo.
	And then there was another woman.
	When you're with a lot of alpha males, there's this, women are wary.
	They don't like alpha males because they don't trust us.
	That's why everyone hates Trump because they're used to pussies.
	So this one woman, she was there.
	It was her wedding night.
	She was wearing a bridal gown and there's a Scottish guy with her in a kilt.
	And she was ugly and fat and old.
	And he was mouth-watering, melted butter, gorgeous.
	Hot shit.
	Mile-high cheekbones and runway looks, as the British media says of Andrew WK.
	And the elephant in the room is her.
	So she's looking at us like, don't fucking ask him why he married an old ugly pig like me, you fuckers.
	Because she's probably hot in Glasgow, right?
	And I'm thinking, what are you guys doing at a bar on your wedding night?
	Still in your, he's wearing his kilt and he's got the like big brass buttons and everything.
	He's all dressed up.
	Get out of here.
	Go fuck.
	That's why I was doing my favorite marriage joke, which is, when do you guys try sex?
	You're going to love it.
	It's like a tickle, but down here.
	It's not a joke for the America First guys.
	They're like, oh, wow, I can't wait.
	Yeah.
	Sounds sick.
	if those America First guys are only fucking when they're married, I'd be married like tonight.
	I got married seven times this week.
	Yeah.
	And I go, I pull one of the guys aside who's talking to the old lady.
	I go, what are you doing?
	He's like, what are you doing about?
	I go, that's your mom.
	He goes, I don't care if she's old.
	I just, I go get my hole.
	Meaning, I have to get late.
	I have to get my hole.
	And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no.
	We have to have some standards here.
	There's lines we don't cross.
	She is, usually women that age aren't even on the scale.
	You don't have babies on the scale.
	You don't have old ladies on the scale.
	But I guess I'll include her.
	And if we do, she's a two.
	We can't go below four.
	It's like, right, right.
	Let's go.
	This place sucks.
	And I go, guys, we're in, if Manhattan is a penis, we're in the foreskin.
	Like, I've never hung out down here before.
	We're at the very bottom of Manhattan.
	By the way, bad news for the economy.
	I drove in my jag to New York City, zero traffic.
	I got there in like 30 minutes.
	And then here's another scary thing.
	I parked on the street.
	There was parking available on a Saturday night in Manhattan.
	Whoa.
	Free.
	So that was a concern.
	So let me go to this other bar called the Nassau Bar on Nassau Avenue, NASSAU.
	Dude, I'm like, okay, well, I'm home.
	It's a disgusting, scuzzy dive bar, and the bartenders are all dressed, the barmaids are all dressed like complete Hooters whores, like bikini tops and tiny shorts.
	I thought it was a strip club.
	I walked to the back to see the stage.
	Nope.
	It's just an old man dive bar with hot sluts.
	I guess there's a Pace University nearby.
	So there's like young girls dressed like whores.
	And I'm like, well, I guess I died and went to heaven.
	And they go, the boxers go, fuck this sluts, go.
	I'm like, oh, sorry.
	You want someone hotter?
	Look at that chick.
	She too ugly?
	What's the problem here?
	We just left a fucking, you're going to fuck your mother about 10 minutes ago.
	And you motherfuckers.
	And they go, yeah, kind of shagged them.
	They just work here.
	I go, okay, so we're only going to places where you can fornicate.
	With your bartenders.
	With people.
	I think you're thinking of a brothel, sir.
	We're in the wrong country.
	And they go, you said we're in the foreskin.
	I want you to be in the bollocks.
	I go, well, we're not going to the bollocks, the balls.
	That would be Harlem.
	We want to be around the bell end, as you British people say.
	Right, take us there.
	At this point, I'm beat and getting too drunk to drive.
	So I just drop them off in the East Village, Lower East Side.
	And I say, you're in the Belle End now.
	Have at it, boys.
	But you got to do that.
	I go out without a blink, out without a blink.
	I go downtown without thinking and shout over a drink, as the streets say in one, two.
	That could have been our opening song, but I wanted to get the breakfast club in there.
	You got to say yes to things.
	Always say yes.
	I mean, in the middle of the day, I was like, I got to go all the way into the city.
	I don't even know these fucking guys.
	I've spoken to them for like a minute on the phone.
	Now we're best friends?
	Yes.
	Great stories.
	One of the guys, this is pretty horrific.
	He's a Glaswegian, born and raised in Glasgow.
	Can't drink.
	Not he was a drunk.
	He drinks, he breaks out in hives.
	It makes him feel dizzy and sick.
	He's never had a drink.
	That's like a Canadian being allergic to hockey.
	It's sad.
	I just held him close.
	Put my arms around him.
	It's quiet.
	Yeah, no, it's quiet for him.
	I just got a text from my bookie on what we're at.
	I think I was wrong.
	So he says, I'm only at 575?
	It's 12 wins, 5 losses.
	I thought it'd be over 600.
	So can you type that up, Brian?
	Yep.
	So I had the wrong one then.
	Yeah.
	Well, it's 12.5.
	I think they're the number one team in the entire MLB.
	Wow.
	They were last night.
	Hell yeah.
	Happy for you.
	This bet is working out, and we don't even have DeGrom.
	Pretty exciting, huh?
	Speaking of the Mets, everyone has a camera now.
	So not only do iPhones reflect everything we do, including it's a new form of assault.
	You throw someone's phone away.
	It's the worst thing you can do to a person.
	It's like ripping their spine out.
	But when that happens, we have various angles of the incident, like it's a Scorsese movie.
	So pull up 1-3.
	Some guys, very happy about one of the games.
	We're playing the Diamondbacks now in a series.
	We just finished slaughtering the Phillies.
	We already played the Diamondbacks.
	I don't know why we're going back to them.
	But there's a Mets fan with a Petalonzo jersey.
	Yeah, he's happy.
	He's filming fans.
	No, don't film me.
	Why?
	Why?
	Oh, I bet it was a Phillies fan.
	Well, he has a Mets jersey on.
	Doesn't he?
	And we get two angles of this.
	So the worst thing you can ever do?
	Yeah, that's a Mets jersey.
	Wait, no, the guy that threw it, it looks like he's wearing a...
	He could be wearing a Phillies thing because he pointed at the guy like, yeah, in your face.
	Yeah, that looks like a Philscervin's jerk.
	Oh, it is a Phillies jersey.
	Okay, so now we understand.
	It's just good old-fashioned.
	See, if sports Glasgow, they'd both be dead.
	Everybody involved.
	My cousin got bottled from a bus.
	He was wearing blue, which is the Rangers color, and a Celtics fan, they're green, were driving by and they just fucking bottled him in the back of the head.
	I don't think he was even a Rangers fan.
	He's just wearing a blue shirt.
	Damn.
	They would never sit two opposing teams together in any Scottish soccer game, football.
	Ryan, you were at Doomfest, is it called?
	Doomerfest, yeah.
	Doomerfest.
	This is the spiritual successor to Incel Fest, I think.
	No, Virgin Fest.
	Virgin Fest.
	So these guys, these internet trolls, have, just like blacks taking back the N-word, they've sort of, they're owning the fact that they don't get pussy.
	And they're calling it Virgin Fest.
	And we had Raven on last time, the tattoo chick, right?
	She's down to come on again.
	She's just driving right now from the event.
	But yeah, so I played bass for Hollowed, and the headliners there were Egg White.
	He's the white rapper.
	Great guy.
	Great guy.
	Great guy.
	And Jezebel, who really.
	People went bananas for her performance.
	Do you have footage of you?
	I have footage of me playing, yeah.
	Let's see.
	Okay.
	So you played with...
	What's his name?
	Hollowed.
	Hallowed.
	So this is some of the other kids.
	I think you'd be proud of the pits going on.
	Like the fights and the action in the pits.
	There's blood.
	A lot of people bleeding.
	That's good.
	It's fucking...
	Blood is a good sign.
	It's super punk.
	They don't call it Incel Core anymore.
	They call it E-Punk.
	Because they're on the outlet.
	That's his intro.
	He's screaming.
	He noticed that everybody went ape shit when he screamed.
	So he's like, I'm just going to amp up the screaming.
	And that was his intro without us.
	I don't see anyone going ape shit.
	I didn't pan over.
	They're going ape P. They're going, yeah, just like maybe ape fart?
	Ape fart, yeah.
	That's a good name for a band.
	I gotta write that down, ape fart.
	So this the first song, and everybody knew the words to it, was Corona, about the coronavirus, about Bill Gates creating the coronavirus.
	Were you nervous?
	I was not nervous.
	I was drinking a little bit.
	And that guy's a fan of ours.
	Very cool dude.
	Forgot his name.
	I'm a piece of shit.
	Doing backup vocals.
	So I have, um, I'm going to compile the footage into like a cohesive documentary style thing.
	You know, meeting people was very cool.
	They're all very nice kids.
	There was a little bit of drama.
	There was a girl punch involved.
	I'll see if I can.
	I punched the chick.
	Do you have that on video?
	Not personally, but I have it on Cowboy Joker's YouTube.
	So the way I understand it is he said to the chick, can I punch you in the face after the show?
	Correct.
	And she goes, yes.
	And then he punched her in the face super hard, rocked her world.
	Yeah, her tooth went through her cheek.
	I guess if it's consenting adults, it's none of my business.
	Cowboy Joker Doomer Fest.
	Who wants to punch a girl in the face?
	The sweet chick, Bryn, her name was.
	What was the male-female ratio?
	I would say there was 10% females tops.
	And that guy, Zeril, I think his name is, he punched just about every chick that was there.
	I think they were going around asking for it.
	This is egg white.
	He killed it.
	Oh, okay.
	I found the footage.
	He looks familiar.
	This is the aftermath of her getting punched right as we're going on.
	My tooth went through my lip.
	I have to get stitches.
	Oh, that sucks.
	A lot of empathy there.
	That's just...
	I mean, the amount of autism was insane, but they're very nice kids.
	These are kids that, you know, they're mostly...
	What percentage would you say they had autism?
	So we're, okay.
	To be real, probably like 68%.
	68%.
	So let's see.
	The punch is somewhere here.
	That's how you do it.
	Here he is.
	Oh, my God.
	It was a pretty legit punch.
	That's definitely the first punch she's ever been.
	That's like when a real chick fights like a fake chick in MMA, and they're like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
	I've seen that.
	That time I fought a chicken sparring, and I had to hit her four times in the face because she thought she could beat me up.
	Boop.
	The poor girl.
	Look at the stumbling afterwards, too.
	It's like, well, holy fuck.
	So that she got rocked and rolled.
	It was a great time.
	I mean, we had, you know, fun roads.
	The kids today.
	I think you'd be proud, though.
	You'd be like, wow, these kids are really.
	Before it all started, but like the first band, they were all just standing as far back from the stage as they could in a big circle.
	I said to the sound guy, I was like, this is like a school prom if there was just all wallflowers.
	It's like they were allergic to getting close to the stage.
	He's like, they'll warm up.
	And then as soon as they started getting in the middle, violence, punching each other.
	There's like seven fights going on at the same time.
	It was amazing.
	Let's get Crip Daddy on the line.
	We should get Crip Daddy on the line.
	Because Raven is driving back.
	Where was this event?
	This was in Reading, PA.
	And Tifa did not show up.
	Reading PA, yeah.
	And she's driving back to what, to Florida?
	I'm not sure where she lives.
	I think maybe Georgia.
	Remember?
	Because they had the first one in September.
	Why doesn't she fly?
	Good question.
	Maybe because of the gear.
	A lot of gear.
	Okay.
	A lot of peeps.
	They're like road trips, these kids.
	So we're going to have a censored event in two months from now.
	Hell yeah.
	I'll keep you updated.
	I really wanted Crip Daddy.
	It's Josh Denny and I. We got someone else.
	I don't want to have too many performers because I wanted us all to do sets and then a live podcast, like a Kill Tony thing where we sit down at a big table.
	That's already now going to be like three hours.
	Maybe we do two shows in one night, too?
	Meet and greet, all that stuff.
	You can take your fucking selfies.
	So that's going to be in Orlando.
	And what are we?
	April?
	Yeah.
	We're April 25th.
	So May, June.
	So end of June.
	Death in June.
	We're going to do that.
	And I wanted Cryptetti to come down.
	And I was like, I'll pay for your flight, hotel, everything, your mom.
	And he goes, I can't fly.
	My chair is too expensive.
	And I go, can't they just put it on?
	We haven't got over that.
	He goes, you ever see someone like me in a plane?
	True.
	I was like, shit.
	I've seen gimps like, but guys who can walk and the dad has to like wipe their mouths and stuff.
	I've seen those.
	But I've never seen like a little man be put into a little chair with his little hands.
	Well, this nice guy, Zach, crowdfunded him a bus so that way he could travel finally.
	Yeah, but Chicago to fucking Orlando is probably 25 hours.
	So that's not happening.
	And he said, see, people think it's a bomb.
	And I never thought of that.
	It's like a $100,000 machine, but it's got all these black boxes in it.
	So it'd be a great place to put a bomb.
	And so what these, these guys aren't trained to understand how to fix, you know, $100,000 wheelchairs.
	So he told me about some GIMP friend of his, some chick, who arrives at her location and they go here, bitch.
	And they just throw her a pile of steel.
	Like, you know how the customs guys can open up your car and take it all apart?
	Yeah.
	And then say, here's your fucking car faggot.
	That's what they did to her.
	And she's like, well, believe it or not, I'm not a wheelchair mechanic.
	I can't put this back together.
	And they go, I don't give a fuck.
	Holy shit.
	Get out of here.
	They pushed her.
	Sheesh.
	Downstairs.
	On purpose.
	And she fell on a nail.
	And then they jumped.
	She's dead.
	I heard about that.
	Then they jumped down from the top of the stairs and landed on her.
	They did a pile drive.
	They're all wrestling fans.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	They did a McSlam.
	They did a bolt driver.
	Bolt driver, yeah.
	They did a neck cruncher.
	They did a neck cruncher?
	Yep.
	They did Wally Splits.
	Oh, yeah.
	The Neck Cruncher after, but she was already passed out.
	She did stop watching.
	Yeah, yeah.
	She died.
	Right.
	So that's.
	And then they pinned her.
	Three games.
	So we'll keep you posted on that.
	We've got to make the poster soon, so we've got to figure out how it's going.
	Can you get Crip on?
	You know, I tried to call him.
	He's not picking up.
	I just texted him, though.
	Oh, okay.
	Did you get confirmation from the lad?
	What?
	Did you get confirmation from the lad?
	I told him we should talk today.
	I'll give him a call.
	See, the thing is, he's either at one of two stations.
	If he's at the computer, he will not be able to answer his phone, and vice versa.
	How?
	No.
	I don't know.
	He's got two different distinct stations of communication.
	Okay, well, let's jump over to the green screen and talk about these teachers who were always right.
	Shall we?
	We shall.
	Okay, good.
	Let's do it.
	Come on, everybody.
	The bad guys were right every single time.
	You get older and these evil white males that you were taught to hate as a kid, you start seeing the world through their eyes and you go, you're okay in my books.
	I got you for two weeks, Bender.
	When Vernon says he's got you for two weeks, Bender, that's pretty cool.
	That means that you are giving up all of your Saturdays.
	And we know how teachers love their leisure time.
	Four months off a year.
	They're home with three.
	They teach the same shit every year.
	It's like clockwork.
	Half the time they're saying, let's have you mark your other papers.
	So give your paper to your neighbor.
	He's going to mark it.
	I'm going to work on my crossroad puzzles.
	When I was a kid in high school, they're always wheeling in a VCR.
	We're going to learn about, what is it today?
	Ghostbusters.
	They just put a fucking movie in.
	We watched a movie in class regularly.
	Anyway, leisure is gold to a teacher.
	And this dude...
	What?
	Grip daddy's calling.
	This is the second green screen.
	Yeah, no, we'll talk to him after this.
	Okay.
	This guy gave up...
	The Bender kid, John Bender, who, by the way, was doing detention because he flipped the fire alarm, evacuated the school, wasted hundreds of people's time.
	Nine weeks, Bender got.
	And Bender has a problem.
	He has no, his dad's a shitty dad.
	Smoke him up, Johnny.
	He's making his dad, his dad makes him smoke cigarettes.
	And this guy is taking over for the dad.
	Well, anyway, let's go through it.
	Who's the first one?
	I think this is the first one.
	Don't know why you've had those pictures out of order.
	Okay, so here's another guy that was right.
	Another teacher.
	They're all teachers.
	I'm defending teachers for a change.
	In the song Another Brick in the Wall by Pink Floyd, this evil headmaster says, how can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?
	Yeah, how can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?
	You can't have pudding.
	Like, why has this guy got such a bad rap?
	Go back.
	I think, did he just say it?
	Here comes.
	I think I had it queued up.
	I don't give you any pudding if you don't need your meat.
	How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?
	Perfectly reasonable concept.
	Okay, tough love.
	The British education system back then was the greatest education system in world history.
	And they came up with a brilliant thing where you got your O levels.
	When you were 14, everyone took a test.
	And if they were stupid, like 95% of us are, they got a trade.
	If they were smart, like 5% of us are, they went on to get a scholarship and go to Glasgow University, for example, the birthplace of the separation of church and state, The birthplace of Western culture is Glasgow University.
	They created the concept of separating church and state.
	Thank you.
	Thank you for that, Glasgow.
	And talk about free speech.
	Roger Waters regularly shits on Israel, calls Jews pigs, defends the Palestinian terrorists, to massive venues at Madison Square Garden.
	No problem.
	Shit on the Jews.
	So for him to bitch about there's thought control everywhere, you seem to be doing pretty good, you fucking anti-Semitic millionaire.
	And my dad, by the way, was poor as shit, and he did well in his O-levels.
	His brothers didn't.
	His brothers all got a trade.
	My dad was sent to Glasgow University.
	Total scholarships, everything paid for.
	Even his room and board was paid for.
	And he ended up being a successful computer scientist, worked on the XM1 tank, radar systems that fluked Russia's nuclear sub-program.
	That's the way it should be.
	Only 5% of us should further our education.
	And then after shit like this, with Pink Floyd saying school's too mean, they said, okay, everyone should go to secondary education.
	And they got rid of the O-levels thing.
	And now we have to lower the bar in order to justify all these morons being in college.
	That's why we have speech pathology and mediacom.
	And there's a fucking class called How to Be Gay.
	History of rock.
	That's all because you decided to fuck with the 95.5.
	And we all know the 95.5 was totally accurate.
	So fuck you, Pink Floyd.
	And this guy's awesome.
	Number two, bad guy that was right.
	Dean Wormer.
	Listen to, look, Prowboys was modeled after Animal House, Delta.
	But if you're honest with yourself, Animal House should not be on campus.
	They're ruining Faber College.
	And the fact that they tried to murder the staff when they got kicked out with the Deathmobile, I mean, that's pretty clear evidence that you should have been kicked out.
	And by the way, that's conspiracy to commit murder now.
	It's not manslaughter.
	You wrote death on the car that you drove in to the bleachers and sent adults flying through the air.
	You almost killed a Playboy bunny with that shit.
	Get them off campus.
	Dean Wormer's right.
	The fizzies into the swim meet.
	No, a little bit before that.
	Hard to say, sir.
	They're each outstanding in their own way.
	Who dumped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet?
	Get him out.
	Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner?
	Bye.
	Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear.
	Every spring, the toilets explode.
	Every stop.
	Every spring the toilets explode?
	Get this fucking crew off of our campus.
	Unacceptable.
	You're talking about Delta, sir.
	Of course I'm talking about Delta, you twerp!
	This year it's going to be different.
	This year.
	Here, go to the next clip.
	Only somebody at Twerp is so underrated, by the way.
	Twerp is a great word.
	That's hilarious.
	Hold on, I have to go poo.
	Oh, okay.
	Whew.
	That jalapeno Cuban bacon, egg, and cheese is not sitting well with the old Scottish stomach there.
	All right.
	So not only do they blow up the toilets, I don't really mind the panties in the trees.
	That's funny.
	But let's check out their academic records.
	Do they want to be at Faber College?
	Where are the other two?
	Stratton and Schranstein?
	We looked everywhere, sir, but...
	Never mind.
	It doesn't matter.
	Have you gentlemen seen your midterm grades yet?
	Oh, they're not posted yet, sir.
	I've seen them.
	This guy does his homework, too.
	He had the files ready the last time.
	He has all their grades ready.
	Two C's, two D's, and an F. That's a 1.2 grade average.
	Congratulations, Kroger.
	You're a total when it does.
	His eyebrows are so good.
	His eyebrows are this whole movie.
	Mr. Dorfman.
	Hello.
	0.2.
	Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
	Hey, guess what?
	Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life.
	He's correct.
	By the way, what did Animal House do to his brother's car?
	They fucking destroy it.
	They turn it into the Deathmobile.
	They ruin that kid's academic future and his brother's car.
	President of Delta.
	1.6, 4 C's in an F. A fine example you set.
	Daniel Simpson Day has no grade point average.
	All courses are incomplete.
	Possibly the coolest person.
	Mr. Blue.
	Just to be clear.
	Just to be clear, I support Animal House.
	I would be there.
	I would also not be surprised if I got kicked off campus.
	I would say, I guess we had it coming.
	Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
	The whole angle on this movie is that Delta House were victims of this uptight dicks.
	Look at the standards here.
	Pluto's grade point average is 0.0.
	That's real bad.
	Can we have some standards?
	It's like the Glaswegian trying to fuck the old lady.
	We can't go below zero.
	Mr. Blutowski.
	0.0.
	Pretty bad.
	Now I want you to tell Mrs. Stratton and Mr. Schoenstein exactly what I'm about to tell you now.
	What's that, sir?
	You're out.
	You're out.
	Finished at Faber expelled.
	I want you off this campus at 9 o'clock Monday morning.
	I tried to get him when I did that CRTV parody back in Blaze days before I was fired.
	And they couldn't get him for me.
	I was willing to pay a heavy fee.
	You know why?
	He's dead.
	He died.
	Sad.
	And I'm sure you'll be happy to know that I have notified your local draft boards.
	That bacon, egg, and cheese.
	It's coming back for me.
	But this time it's not the poo-hole.
	It's the talking hole.
	Oh, no, no, no.
	Out with it!
	That's like when I was on that podcast with Gizzy Cadzo, Caddy Gidzo.
	What's his fucking name again?
	Gadzikoto.
	Gadzikoto and Projectile Vomited off camera.
	Stupid.
	All right.
	Last bad guy who was right.
	This guy, Vernon.
	What's his name?
	Richard Vernon or something like that.
	He's got you for two weeks, Bender.
	Great guy.
	And what happened?
	So these kids were really bad.
	The nerd brought a flare gun to blow his head off, kill himself, and the flare gun went off in his locker.
	Cool guy set the fire alarm.
	The chick skipped school.
	The wrestler taped a young man's buttocks together with a tape.
	It must have been some sort of industrial strength tape because when they took it off, some skin came off.
	I don't know of a tape that strong.
	Not even gorilla tape.
	And I think that's it.
	I think Ali Sheedy might have tried to kill herself too.
	I can't remember.
	So what happened with these kids?
	Well, first of all, he said, write an essay about who you are.
	And this guy wrote a great essay about how you think that we're the nerd and the socialite and the jock and the weird goth and the bad guy.
	But we all have elements of this within all of us.
	I have a jock element in me.
	He's got a bad guy element in him when he smokes pot and dances to rock and roll.
	So the assignment was a great assignment that you learned a lot from.
	And out of these five goons, four of them fell in love.
	The nerd that no one wants to fuck because he's like eight years old.
	Okay, he didn't get laid, but everyone else is madly in love after this detention.
	So this guy gave up his Saturday and created what?
	Love.
	Love and awareness from scratch.
	Have you got a clip of him?
	Go.
	Get back in your seat.
	I expected a little more from a varsity letterman.
	Yeah, don't tape buns together, shithead.
	You're not fooling anybody, Bender.
	The next screw that falls out is going to be you.
	My shorts.
	What was that?
	You're about to watch a man give away nine of his own Saturdays.
	My shorts.
	You just bought yourself another Saturday, mister.
	Crushed.
	You just bought one more right there.
	Well, I'm free the Saturday after that.
	Beyond that, I'm gonna have to check my calendar.
	Good!
	Because it's gonna be filled.
	We'll keep going.
	You want another one?
	Say the word.
	Just say the word.
	Instead of going to prison, you'll come here.
	Judd Nelson was 26.
	Are you through?
	During this movie?
	No, I'm doing society a favor.
	So?
	That's another one right now.
	I've got you for the rest of your natural-born life if you don't watch your step.
	You want another one?
	Yes.
	You got it.
	You got another one right there.
	That's another one, pal.
	Cut it out.
	You through?
	Not even close, bud.
	Good.
	You got one more right there.
	You really think I give a shit?
	He switches from this to this.
	Pinky makes cameos.
	How many you said?
	That's seven, including the one when we first came in.
	You asked Mr. Vernon here whether Barry Mandela knew that he raided his closet.
	Now it's eight.
	You stay out of it.
	Excuse me, sir, it's seven.
	Shut up, Pee-Wee.
	I got you.
	What can I say?
	I'm thrilled.
	Oh, I'm sure that's exactly what you want these people to believe.
	You know something, Bender?
	You want to spend a little more time trying to do something with yourself and a little less time trying to impress people.
	Yeah.
	You might be better off.
	Good point.
	Right, that's it.
	I'm going to be right outside those gates.
	Put your shit together, Bender.
	The next time I have to come in here, I'm cracking skulls.
	Good, crack some skulls.
	These kids could do with some skull cracking, these 26-year-old teenagers.
	She looks way hotter as a goth than after they do the makeover.
	What a great guy.
	So just to go back over this, Delta House deserves to be booted off of Faber College.
	They are a menace to society, a menace to themselves.
	This guy is Cupid, creating love where there was none, creating awareness.
	Look how happy these kids are.
	They've aged like five years.
	Look at the maturity they've got now.
	He's the eyes, ears, nose, and mouth of this school.
	And then the last guy, you have pudding for lunch?
	No, that's not a lunch.
	You need protein.
	You need to balance the carbs and the sugar with some actual meat.
	And you weren't a brick in the wall.
	You were part of the greatest education in Western history.
	These guys are the good guys.
	Sometimes good guys don't wear white.
	Will you recognize me?
	Call my fucking name, by the way.
	Don't fucking walk on by me.
	Can we get Crypt Daddy on?
	Oh, yes.
	Got so much to talk with him about.
	Three things.
	Oops.
	We'll be quizzing you at the end of the show.
	You better know what ape fart means.
	Oh, that was pathetic.
	Dumb me.
	Pathetic.
	Sorry about that.
	Lorraine, you got a guttle.
	You got your wish.
	That's what my dad would say when we played Pool in the Basement and I had a slow shot that wasn't successful.
	They called it your slow shot back then.
	No, that makes sense.
	What's up, Crip?
	How's it going?
	Good.
	I was just talking about various bad guys in film and how they're awesome dudes who care about society and have certain standards.
	No, I can see where you're coming from.
	I have some opinions on that, too.
	What do you got?
	Well, I've always felt like the bad guys in Schindler's List terrible.
	Yeah.
	They're just doing their job.
	They're just following orders.
	I don't see what the big deal was.
	Yeah.
	You know that movie is meant to make Nazis look bad.
	I thought it was shot beautifully, though.
	So it looked good.
	I met a lot of chicks who would diddle their beam to the main bad Nazi guy.
	What was his name again?
	I forget his name, but.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	Chicks like that kind of shit.
	They're really depraved.
	Oh, I know.
	The pussy is an unimaginably complex and sadistic animal.
	Yeah, I fucked every single girl that I dated to the boy in the striped pajamas because it gets him going.
	And so we went through the breakfast club, the Pink Floyd video, how can you put in if you don't eat your meat?
	And then Dean Werner, Wormer from Animal House, fuck Delta was a menace to society.
	Very dangerous.
	They're murderers.
	They drove a car into the bleachers with various authority figures from the local town.
	Yeah, basically terrorists.
	Yeah.
	It's premeditated terrorism.
	That's what it was, terrorism.
	If you commit a violent act for some sort of political point, it's terrorism.
	They are terrorists.
	Exactly.
	No, I agree.
	They're basically just a pre-foundation for what ended up being Antifa.
	Yeah.
	You know, Animal House was on my radar because I want to make a poster for this show that we're going to put on in a couple months.
	And I want to do a parody of that poster, the cartoon poster, where they're all in the house and have you and other people.
	But we were talking this weekend.
	You guys can't go on planes because they think your chair's a bomb.
	Yeah, no, they don't like crippled people on planes.
	How much is that chair worth?
	Enough for the government to have to pay for it, not me.
	It's pretty dumb expensive.
	They dismantle it and then they don't put it back.
	No, it's kind of you're up to the good grace of whoever is handling it.
	There's multiple stories of people who are just flat out abandoned places that don't have anywhere to physically go because they can't.
	Yeah.
	Well, if you can figure out a way to combine it with some other chip down there, we'd love to have you.
	Absolutely.
	No, that'd be great.
	We also were just, Ryan just got back from Doomerfest.
	I feel like that's kind of your scene.
	Yeah, no, I was going to ask him off the side and how it went because it looked cool.
	It kind of reminded me of very early punk, like 1976 punk.
	No, and that's exactly the appeal of that scene now because it feels more what it should have been this entire time instead of what it is now.
	So what changed?
	The pussy.
	The pussy changed.
	And then that made the dudes change.
	And then they started believing in bullshit that's not true.
	And, you know, they just, that's what I chalk it up to.
	So you mean women got involved and they ruined the scene?
	I mean, you said it, so.
	But didn't a woman organize this whole thing?
	Raven is the one who put it together.
	Yeah, but she doesn't really count.
	Ah, okay.
	And the shooter XP guy, what's his name again?
	Negative XP?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Do you know that dude?
	I do.
	He's cool as shit.
	I like him a lot.
	You should start a band.
	You could be school scooter.
	He's kind of the Elvis Presley of the scene, right?
	The Johnny Rotten, the Malcolm McLaren of the scene.
	Yeah, that's how I look at him for sure.
	But he didn't go to this particular one.
	No, he didn't.
	Was that some lady drama?
	You know what?
	I'm not even too sure on that.
	Yeah, me neither.
	I'm not.
	Maybe.
	But if it is, oh man, fucking just more reason for me to hate women.
	Well, I see you as part of this scene.
	So don't let women ruin your scene.
	And the secret to that not happening is keep them in line.
	Keep them in check.
	And don't believe them.
	Don't believe women.
	Never have.
	Never will.
	It's the only way the scene can survive.
	And that's in anything, really.
	In anything.
	They're not allowed on pirate ships for a reason.
	Yeah.
	Pirates would literally rather fuck each other than have a chick on board, and they were not fags.
	And they got, I mean, they got shit done.
	Yeah.
	They're the reason we have the Marines.
	The Muslim pirates were stealing our women and selling them into sexual slavery.
	We had the Marines before we had America.
	Backfires every time.
	All right.
	Well, keep me posted on coming down to Orlando.
	Maybe we can Skype in or something.
	Yeah, absolutely.
	All right.
	Bye, gorgeous.
	Later.
	You take it easy, beautiful.
	Okay, I wanted to talk for a second about media malfeasance.
	I've been listening to this guy, Chris Plant.
	Have you ever heard of him?
	I have not.
	We should have a new background for media.
	Oh, we have fake news.
	Yeah, okay.
	It looks pretty cool, too.
	We never use it.
	Oh, yeah, that's a great one.
	It's really heavy on the CNN.
	We have a media kissing ass bumper.
	I don't know if that counts.
	Well, I've been thinking about their narrative.
	No, I like the previous one better.
	That's a Little distracting.
	I've been thinking about the deaths they're responsible for.
	One of the reasons that black people are so separated from the rest of us is they've been told again and again and again for the past 50 years that white people have robbed them.
	That everything wrong with their life is the white man fucking with them.
	And so you get to the point where you feel like a pussy if you assimilate.
	That's why it's Derek is spelled weird and Erika is A-I-R-W-R-E-C-K-A with a fucking umlot thrown in for good measure.
	And a circonflex, an accent degue, as they say in France.
	And it's why you have the Nation of Islam.
	People want to be religious, but blacks are taught that if they're Christians, they're worshiping a white god.
	He's a Jew, but whatever.
	So they make up their own religion, and it's a retarded religion.
	The Nation of Islam is one of the silliest religions in the world.
	It's up there with the cargo cult, where they worship planes.
	In this case, they worship a giant-brained, superdict black professor, scientist from 6,600 years ago, who created white people in a lab to torment blacks.
	Just like gremlins, remember?
	He purposely got the gremlins wet so they'd be unleashed upon the world in this analogy.
	So that's really retarded.
	And I saw it on the wall of the DC shooter 1.6.
	Chris Plant was talking about this, by the way.
	P-L-A-N-T-E.
	He's on.
	I don't have a serious satellite in my car anymore.
	So I listen to the radio.
	And this guy's on every time I'm driving.
	Fucking fantastic, dude.
	And he was talking this morning about all these stories that vanish.
	And one of them is, of course, the DC shooter.
	And I'm blaming the media on all of this, right?
	So the media is responsible for the nation of Islam.
	And they're responsible for the separation of blacks and whites in many ways by continuing to rehash all of this racism shit, all this fucking slavery shit.
	So this guy was Filipino, but he's, I don't think the Nation of Islam is big on Asians, Ryan, no offense.
	It's okay.
	But for some reason, he had been into them.
	He was the shooting sparked a partial lockdown in the Capitol.
	He didn't shoot very well.
	Our mass shooters these days are not great for your accuracy, but do you have the picture?
	So this story, speaking of media malpractice, is going to vanish.
	Because, wait, what are you doing?
	Is it 1.7?
	1.6 or 1.7?
	That was 1.7.
	1.6 is the plant.
	And this would be...
	Maybe it's in this thread here.
	No?
	1.6 was the plant?
	No, that was 1.5.
	You have a way of proudly announcing why someone's wrong when you're the one that's wrong.
	Yeah, actually, 1.6 was Chris Plant.
	No, it wasn't.
	So see that picture on the wall?
	That's Yacoub.
	Oh, yeah.
	See if you can zoom in on him.
	So that's...
	He's got a giant brain.
	His head is this big because he's so smart.
	And so this guy worshipped Yacoub and decided...
	Now, obviously, he's also mentally ill, but you give these mentally ill lunatics, you give them something to hang their coat on when you tell them that white people are evil and white people need to die.
	So they start shooting white people.
	And then what does the media do?
	Well, they hide that.
	So they commit these acts of horrendous violence or are responsible for inspiring them, and then they hide them.
	They import Muslims to Britain under the auspices of diversity.
	It's an experiment.
	It fails miserably.
	Terrorism all over the place.
	Machete fights on a daily basis.
	And they just hide the stories.
	Who created the white race?
	Is this why you can't draw Muhammad?
	Because it would look maybe that guitar.
	I think the hardest part of being in the Nation of Islam would be not cracking up.
	Okay, we're going to talk about Yacoub's creation of the white man.
	No giggles.
	And this was also sort of hid 1-8.
	So this man was murdered by the media.
	So that mentally ill man we just saw, I would say murdered by the media.
	Maybe that's the name of this show.
	And then this guy, too, mentally ill person.
	He watches the news.
	They tell him that the Earth's only got a few years to go.
	I was listening to an old interview because I have cassettes in the car now and I found an anal Chinook tape.
	Maybe I'll bring it in here or put it on the website.
	My old band.
	And me and the other guy, Blake, are talking about the environment.
	We had a lot of environmental songs.
	One was called Acid Rain that starts out, it's raining, it's pouring, the old man is dying.
	And then we had another song about fucking, what was it, Acid Rain?
	And then some other thing about pollution and the ozone layer.
	Yeah, goodbye, ozone layer, farewell.
	Anyway, I'm listening to 18-year-old me and I'm going, yeah, well, you know, we have to recycle and don't use spray aerosols.
	They corrode the ozone.
	And, you know, the Earth's probably not going to be around for another five years.
	Five years.
	So that would be 1991, 1992.
	The Earth would just pop, vanish.
	So I was brainwashed by the media.
	And so is this poor bastard who goes to the Supreme Court and lights himself on fire.
	Self-sacrifice.
	And the climate activists go, good job, man.
	That was so brave of you to raise awareness.
	This guy was my friend.
	He mediated with our Sangha.
	What the fuck?
	This act is not suicide.
	This is a deeply fearless act of compassion to bring attention to climate crisis.
	We are piecing together info, but he had been planning it for at least a year.
	I am so moved.
	What a great guy.
	What a selfless, brave move to light yourself.
	So they murder someone, and then they gloat about it.
	Talk about being out of touch with reality.
	The media's job is to tell us what's going on, And they do the opposite.
	They tell us the earth is going to pop.
	What's this one?
	Yeah, look at this one: 1.9.
	A bunch of climate activists hold a die-in to show the world that they're putting their fucking lives on the line.
	Turn it up.
	All right, y'all.
	So, we're going to do a die-in.
	If you haven't done that before, it's where we all lay down on the ground to send the message home to Biden that this is our fucking lives on the line.
	So, if you want to be on the grass, you can be on the grass.
	If you want to be this way, you can be that.
	This sounds really hard.
	What do I have to do to show Biden that he's putting my life in danger by not?
	What's he not doing?
	Isn't he, didn't he kill the pipeline?
	Yeah.
	And he's refusing to drill in America?
	This is why I don't get it with these people.
	You got your wish.
	Like, I was getting scowled at on the weekend when I was grocery shopping.
	I could tell the local liberals recognized me.
	I didn't say anything, but I was going to go, what are you glaring at?
	All my guys are in jail.
	You got your wish, you spoiled brat.
	No, you're still here.
	Okay, something tells me that if I'm thrown in prison, you're still going to be a glaring little bitch.
	They're like Islam.
	They're insatiable.
	You put a burqa on, they tell you your bangs are showing or you can't wear purple socks with your burqa on.
	These guys are getting all their dumb rishes.
	They're ruining the economy with this shit.
	And it's about to get worse, by the way.
	We're moving on from trans and Black Lives Matter.
	That's all in the path.
	The next big thing, and COVID, the next big thing you're going to see is climate change.
	We need to pay more taxes.
	The government needs more money to stop global warming.
	And these fucking losers, just like me when I was their age, really, are falling for it.
	We should do a die-in here one day for what we believe in.
	I do a die-in every night.
	I collapse.
	I piss myself.
	Yeah.
	And then as I'm going through all this media malfeasance, I'm thinking about all the past stuff that they didn't tell us about.
	Like Vegas.
	The Vegas shooting.
	That's just dead now.
	That's forgotten.
	We don't do that.
	Why?
	What the?
	Laura Loomer was the only person to do what Taylor Lorenz calls shoe leather journalism.
	And she went down there for weeks.
	And she was like, this is Islam related.
	And so the media just dropped it.
	Because the media, they don't want to be responsible for a race war or any kind of racism or any kind of animosity to a group.
	That's why they got so upset when we called it the China virus, even though it came from China.
	And they still blame all of the blacks beating up Chinese people in New York.
	They blame that on Trump because he said the China virus.
	Like, fucking black people are hanging on Donald Trump's every word, especially in New York.
	I think in Manhattan, he got something like 2% of the votes.
	What's this graphic?
	You just made that now?
	No, I've been working on this.
	I want to make it a shirt.
	Huh.
	That's not bad, dude.
	Thanks, dude.
	I appreciate that.
	I'm really happy that you said that, actually.
	It's pretty 80s.
	I like it.
	What happened in Vegas?
	Stayed in Vegas.
	I mean, it doesn't say the stayed in Vegas part.
	Yeah, no, I get the joke.
	Okay.
	Go to 2-1.
	You can get in a real rabbit hole with Vegas.
	It's the 9-11 of mass shootings.
	But one of the...
	And this is interesting because you can't go to the news, and this is one great thing about Twitter still.
	This is where you learn all this shit, is from average Joe's on the street.
	Now you have to check and verify everything, but I hadn't heard that he paid off all his gambling debts, which apparently is a big thing in Islam.
	You can't go to heaven if you have debt.
	By the way, I can't believe I forgot to mention this.
	Elon Musk bought Twitter.
	Is it officially?
	He officially did.
	Yep.
	They're going to accept his offer.
	They're accepting it now.
	It's $43 billion.
	That's like $174 per American person.
	He could have given us $200 each.
	So it's realistic you might be back on.
	Would you?
	I'll happily go back on.
	Right?
	I'd be like, hey, motherfucker.
	I'll go out without a blink.
	I'll go downtown without thinking and shout over a drink.
	But, no, you can't be uncanceled.
	I'm canceled for life.
	I'm never going to be hosting the tonight's show.
	Good.
	Go ahead.
	You have never been on my side.
	Forget it.
	Meet Bruce Erickson, aka Benjamin Paddock.
	And you can't get another try.
	There's this whole thing with that.
	That dude, that's his brother.
	The security guard has disappeared.
	That's not that crazy, though.
	I'd want to be.
	Anyway, this is gold news.
	But he wired money to his Muslim wife.
	One theory I heard was that it was an arms deal that the FBI had been pushing to catch Muslim terrorists.
	He was part of it.
	And then it went awry.
	The Muslims sussed it out.
	And they did all the shooting.
	The terrorists.
	And the FBI has immediately covered up because they don't want to look incompetent.
	Because they are.
	The FBI is terrible at their job.
	Look at January 6th.
	What are you doing?
	MS-13, we've got hundreds of opioid ODs a day.
	What is it up to now?
	250 a day?
	And you guys are focused on people who meander.
	Fucking unbelievable.
	Loomer did a really good, it's on a bit shoot about the Vegas shooting, like a series that's really good.
	And then the Saudi helicopters thing was insane that they broke on Infowars, where the airspace, they were like, There's an unaccounted for Saudi helicopter, which made it onto the shirt graphic.
	And it's cool.
	It's bizarre the things that were going on in the airspace.
	Wasn't there a weird thing, too, with some sheik who I think owns Twitter, and he was talking shit about Trump?
	A Saudi guy, right?
	A Saudi prince.
	Yeah.
	And him and Trump had a back and forth on Twitter.
	That's why I thought that Twitter was never going to allow for this buyout.
	But we'll dig that up on our own time.
	But okay, last thing on media malpractice, because they're so terrible at their jobs and they're just a propaganda wing, with the background.
	I'm sick of that dumb shelf.
	I want it always to be exciting.
	Got it?
	Sure.
	This is going around Malcolm Nance?
	Oh, wait.
	I think 2-0 is just the funny picture of him because he's the laughingstock now.
	And I was right.
	I discovered this guy years ago, 2015.
	I sat next to him and thought, this person is a mental patient.
	Standby.
	Notebook for next book, Stand By.
	Self-seating banana mag.
	So if you scroll up, I think you'll find the video.
	It's kind of old news by now, but whatever.
	I think I'm going to start doing Friday shows again, guys, because there's too much news that gets missed.
	But look at him.
	I think he may be like special.
	He just has a deep voice, and he's sort of mimicking an expert the way like a magpie or a starling would mimic a bird's call.
	So he's mimicking an expert, but he's actually a complete mental patient, like a special guy.
	Like I bet he plays with Lego at home.
	Or like Biden, he just stares out the window.
	Did I tell you that?
	No.
	I learned that from the Chris Plant show.
	Apparently, reliable sources say that when Biden is in Delaware, when he's back home, he just stands and looks out the window for about two hours at a time.
	Nothing's happening outside the window.
	There's not kids playing or something.
	Or inside of Biden's head.
	There's just like chirp, chirp, chirp.
	He's just staring at a robin.
	That's where he should be.
	Anyway, Malcolm Nance should be with him.
	They should both be in a home.
	Crane's unique territory.
	Is that going down?
	No.
	But I've never seen a fast mover.
	What the fuck?
	A fast mover?
	You never seen a fast team before?
	Are we in an air raid?
	Yes.
	Yeah.
	We are.
	We had the air race.
	I like it.
	There'll be three.
	Bright yellow jacket.
	Stand by.
	There'll be three.
	Stand by.
	Who is this clown?
	If it was fired from a ship, we're getting hit.
	That's a 500-pound bomb.
	What?
	What?
	Let's get the body up.
	Do fast movers carry 500-pound bombs?
	Is that balding from just scratching his head all day wondering what the fuck's going on?
	By the way, snipers.
	That yellow blob, that's an American.
	Nice camo.
	It's coming from the east, southeast.
	So those are the companies.
	They're striking to the west.
	Striking to the west, that's two.
	Needs at least one more.
	That wasn't a plane, it was a cruise missile.
	That was a cruise missile.
	Yeah.
	Wait for one more.
	They're fired in 30-second intervals.
	They fire them in 30-second intervals.
	Stand by.
	Three.
	Cruise missile.
	Caliber.
	Look, stand by.
	Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
	You know what I mean?
	There's 36, 30 seconds.
	Couldn't you just imagine you're at a lunatic asylum and you're wearing OR scrubs and there's Malcolm and you're just like, okay, we'll stand by, Malcolm.
	We'll stand by.
	And he's just like, there's going to be three.
	There are 30-second intervals.
	I know.
	Okay, we'll wait.
	There's more cruise missiles coming?
	Okay.
	Yeah, I've never seen a fast mover before.
	Hold on.
	Yep.
	That's a 500-pound bomb.
	I know.
	Okay.
	Here's your pill, and then here's the water.
	Yeah, I think we're in an air ride.
	Okay, we better get inside then.
	Okay, just lift your tongue.
	Let me make sure you took that.
	There you go.
	It's an air raid.
	Yes.
	I know it is.
	Well, we better get inside.
	Let's get you back to the games room and we'll play foosball.
	Foosball!
	And then he totally forgets it.
	That's great.
	I know a guy who works at Rikers with the loonies.
	I told you this before, right?
	Mars bars.
	That's his secret.
	It could be having a nervous breakdown, about to smash your head through a window.
	You say, I'll get you a Mars bar.
	Wait, that's insane because it made it in that comic specifically, didn't it?
	What?
	Look at his pack.
	It says Mars.
	That's amazing.
	That's amazing.
	Wow.
	All right.
	Do we have time for a pet B?
	Yeah, let's do a quick pet Biden.
	Biden.
	On him I can depend.
	Biden.
	A monster of a president.
	He's big and food.
	Sleepy.
	But a friendly monster too.
	My cat.
	Biden.
	Wait, what?
	That doesn't rhyme.
	Trump lies.
	He says horrible things, ridiculous things about Joe Biden.
	He said that Joe Biden shakes hands with the air and takes orders from the Easter bunny.
	What the fuck?
	I mean, besides the fact that he did shake hands with the air and a man in a giant bunny costume did drag him away from people asking intelligent questions because they knew he was going to fuck it up.
	Besides that, none of this is true.
	Right now, sadly, who has absolutely no idea what the hell is happening, he's shaking hands with the air.
	He's walking around, somewhat bewildered.
	It's no good in taking orders from the Easter Bunny.
	You saw that one?
	No, no, no.
	We have a president.
	Do you miss him?
	It's hard to, like, you know, when the Rolling Stones come on and you're always like, oh, I love this song.
	Like, he's just great music.
	He's our greatest hits president.
	Yeah.
	Taking orders from the Easter bunny.
	Shaking hands with the air.
	By the way, the place at Doomerfest was called Blandon, like the name of the little area that we're in.
	So everybody starts chanting, let's go, Blandin.
	Awesome.
	Can you do me a favor, Ryan?
	Oh, yeah.
	Make this, put this in free shit.
	Take that speech he's saying and then edit in the shaking hands with the air and taking orders from the Easter Bunny.
	And we'll make that a free clip.
	Because it's amazing that it's true.
	Like, if I hadn't seen the other two things, I'd go, Trump, fuck off.
	That's stupid.
	He doesn't shake hands with the air and take orders from the Easter Bunny.
	What do you think he is?
	Mentally deficient?
	You think he's Malcolm Nance?
	They're neck and neck.
	Actually, Malcolm Nance wrote some books.
	I don't think Joe Biden could write a book.
	He also thinks MAGA is an insult.
	Go to 3-5.
	Not a joke.
	All you got to do is look what is being played this morning about the tape that was released anyway.
	What?
	What tape?
	What are you talking about, dude?
	He doesn't know.
	That's why he always goes, anyway.
	You know what anyway means?
	It means I've 100% lost my train of thought.
	And I don't mean like I'm a little bit off.
	Someone has clicked the reboot button and I don't know where the fuck I am.
	I could have been talking about chocolate candies.
	I could have been talking about dinosaurs.
	I have no fucking clue what I was talking about.
	And some of us, that happens, and you go, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no.
	So originally what I was saying was, he doesn't get that.
	He never comes back.
	So he just has to say, anyway, and watch his train of thought, leave the station, chugga, chugga, chugga, choo-woo, and it's gone.
	Same with not a joke.
	Not a joke is a space filler where he wants to sound more intense.
	So he goes, we're doing this, and then I'm waiting for the teleprompter to recalibrate.
	And so I say, not a joke.
	It's not a joke.
	It's not a joke.
	Does he realize he's saying the joker saying?
	Kidding aside, this is a MAGA party now.
	So you got the senator from Texas and others.
	These guys are a different breed of cat.
	Hell yeah.
	They're not like what I served with for so many years.
	That's good, yes, correct.
	And the people who know better are afraid to act correctly because they know they'll be primary.
	This ain't your father's Republican Party.
	I want to hear the beginning again.
	That part.
	Yeah, keep going.
	Your father's Republican Party.
	Not a joke.
	All you got to do is look what is being played this morning about the tape that was released anyway.
	Oh, my God.
	What tape?
	You forgot?
	Was there people laughing?
	Yeah, it did sound like people laughing.
	Hidden aside, this is a MAGA party now.
	It's, you know, you got...
	You mean Make America Great Again is bad?
	They're not like what I served with for so many years.
	Calling someone a cat is from the 50s.
	You drive asterisk.
	Hey, Daddy O. And here is a great one.
	3.6.
	This one, I know I speak Biden.
	This is the first one where I understand all the words.
	I have no idea what they're supposed to be doing.
	Natural wonders are, you know, inspired and the reflection inspires our to take action.
	You know, I don't understand the words you just said.
	You know, our natural wonders are, you know, inspired and the reflection inspires our to take action.
	Okay, hold on.
	I think I might have this.
	Okay.
	So when we reflect on our planet's natural wonders, it inspires us to take action.
	Yes.
	When we reflect on our countries or the worlds or our planet's natural wonders, when we reflect on them, it inspires us to take action.
	Those were the words in front of him.
	He just saw alphabet soup.
	And his brain just started randomly plucking words out from the sentence until it was just a hodgepodge.
	You know, once the speechwriters find out the algorithm for how he mixes up words, it's sort of like, you know, in World War II, the coders.
	Yeah.
	So you just make the first word, you put it at the top, because he does speak in reverse a lot.
	I made a joke on Getter where I called him, oh my God, Yoda.
	Oh, very.
	Because he's like, in the beginning, this is.
	Can we just do it one more time?
	Oh, yeah.
	Our natural wonders are, you know, inspire, and the reflection inspires our to take action.
	You know, they got to.
	I don't understand the words you just said.
	You know, it's bad when you imagine it being your granddad and your heart breaks.
	Yeah, no, the Robin thing where he stares outside of the window, that made me very sad.
	Hey, grandpa.
	Hey, grandpa.
	Like, if your grandpa said that at the home when you visit him, you go, I know it does, Grandpa.
	I got to go pee.
	And then you'd go cry in the hallway and come back and splash cold water on your face, kind of make sure your eyes are dry.
	Hey!
	Had a great pee.
	Had a really good pee-pee.
	And then last one, this is kind of Biden-related, but it's also media malfeasance 3.7.
	What's going on now?
	They're burning down food.
	So one theory, 18 U.S. food processing facilities burned down the last six months.
	Azure Standards HQ burned down yesterday.
	One theory is that they're doing this to, I don't know, make things worse for Biden?
	Wait, that means that our guys are doing it?
	The CIA is doing it?
	Can a smarter person please help me with this?
	You want to fuck up the supply chain.
	Why?
	I don't know.
	And then the thing about the chickens all dying too because of this avian flu going around, not good.
	But that seems natural.
	Well, here, here's a fun thing with Twitter.
	Click on that link.
	Look at the responses.
	Let's see what other people are saying.
	It's like a letters page.
	Massive Walmart distributor.
	Still no follow-up.
	Keep going.
	Okay, so there's too many for it to affect.
	You know, I heard once that there was a fire, like an explosion for the oil lines or the gas lines of a farm, and it was suspected to be hacking, like Russian hacking.
	Uh-huh.
	Yeah, I remember that.
	So he who controls the food supply controls the people.
	You'll own nothing and you'll be happy.
	They're purposely creating a food shortage.
	That's also a theory, right?
	So people are making fun of you for thinking it's a big deal?
	So those are all reasons why they burnt down?
	Killing chickens, yeah.
	Keep going.
	Okay, keep going.
	Keep going.
	What the fuck is going on?
	Anyway, I guess I'll just keep, you know, scrolling through Twitter trying to find out what the fuck is going on in the world because the media is totally incompetent.
	We don't know about Vegas.
	We don't know.
	We have Malcolm Nance telling us to stand by while he looks at fast movers.
	Okay.
	So it's happening with fertilizer plants, too.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	So this is a show where we not just tell you what's going on, but also ask you what the fuck is going on.
	Do I have my computer here?
	Oh, it's in the other room.
	Okay, let's jump to the mailbag.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a tend.
	Let's turn our eyes together's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	Can't rely on the media to tell you what's going on, but you can rely on them to find the home of the woman who does libs of TikTok and exposed the daughters of Pamela Geller.
	Thank God.
	Just one thing that people deserve to know.
	It's a controversial figure's daughter.
	Kerragers, that was the place.
	Uh-oh, my batteries are low because the FBI spies on us.
	Am I out of shape?
	Oh, I thought this was kind of funny, but it's very inside-y.
	Kanata Bush Parties and the boomer response.
	This is right where I used to go.
	In Kanata, it's a suburb outside of Ottawa where I spent my early teen years.
	And it's all farmland.
	It's not really a suburb.
	It's a rural suburb.
	And half the students in my school were farmer kids, carpies, we called them, because they were from Carp.
	And then we were the middle-class kids who had been shipped out to these sort of Lego-like housing developments where everyone's house was the same.
	So it was a weird convalescence of snobby rich kids, not rich, but middle class, snobby middle class, almost city kids, and then the farmer kids.
	And the farmers, they would wear their ski coats on.
	They all went skiing.
	Skiing in my part of the woods was a redneck sport.
	They'd all wear ski jackets and they'd wear their baseball hats just touching the top of their heads.
	Like you could flick them off like that.
	Anyway, because there was so much rural land, we would go deep 40 minutes into the woods and have these massive parties that were like 100 people.
	No one could hear us, no one could find us.
	And the police didn't want to trek out for 45 minutes.
	But they're still going, apparently.
	And they're called bushbashes, assholes, not bush parties.
	Go ahead.
	Say with the warm weather comes more mischief.
	A trail in Kanata, a popular gathering spot for bonfires, and residents in the area are blowing the whistle, saying the aftermath they're witnessing this weekend will be the start of bush party season.
	CTV Jackie Parris joins us in the studio with more on that.
	Jackie.
	Stefan complaints to the main local police about bush parties happening a stone's throw away from their backyard.
	And this isn't the first time.
	Water, you've got bud light here.
	You've got a leftover fire pit, empty cans, and broken glass shows the aftermath of a party in the woods in Kanata's Bridwood Commission.
	When do you give a shit?
	I wake up in the morning like this morning, and there's a bottle of, you know, 26er of rum sitting on my lawn.
	Okay, that's pretty bad.
	We didn't do it like that.
	So that's in Bridalwood where I lived for a while.
	But we used to have them out by the Kanata Town Center.
	Hey, we go there fucking early, like six or seven o'clock, and just go by the beer store and say, hey, here's 25 bucks.
	Can you get us a $20 2-4 of Bud or fucking Molson Canadian?
	And it's a really dumb thing to do as an adult because if we get killed or we drunk Drive, you're fucking responsible.
	But within about four adults, some guy would buy us the 2-4 and then we'd take it out there.
	The overnight actions say they don't want to show their faces, they don't know who the right person is.
	Why you'll get killed by the party patrol?
	Kids, a car's party, the bush bash mafia out of the trunk of a car.
	Resident Sydney says bush parties happened frequently over the last few years, just behind her home near Spring Creek Crescent.
	Cops know, the fire department knows, that second tower, that tower right there, and that's their big party area.
	Can't fucking go into the middle of nowhere and party.
	There's been no fires.
	Someone had a bottle on their lawn.
	Sorry about that.
	That was rude.
	They're hiding their faces.
	Could you be a bit more of a pussy?
	It's just disrespectful to the environment and to one particular fire department had a couple of fireplaces.
	Where do you think cans come from?
	The environment.
	Just going back home.
	Anyway, sorry, that's boring.
	Dear fart, piss, and shit.
	Wow.
	I think I'm fart.
	Dear piss, and Maddie's shit.
	Huh.
	I'm sure we've all seen the story making the rounds over the past several days.
	I just have to say, not to disrespect a serviceman who lost his life in the line of duty, but can I just point out the elephant in the room here?
	What's a black guy doing jumping into the Rio fucking Grand to save some people?
	At the risk of sounding racist, stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason.
	How about we have the black agents patrolling on foot where fast running may be needed and the white ones can patrol the river?
	Maybe even give that job to the trannies as they seem to be avid swimmers.
	That's a good one.
	Funny guy.
	Dear Insect Slayer and Tom Moore Yellow.
	That's good.
	Okay.
	I don't get it.
	Tom Varella's a guitar player and I'm yellow.
	Oh, I see.
	I've been behind on episodes.
	By the way, I just caught your caterpillar story.
	By the way, the caterpillars did hatch.
	Cool.
	So my plan of taping them to the roof worked.
	But they hatched on Sunday.
	I think they're dead tomorrow.
	So we had all this drama in the house for some fucking...
	Oh, we got a bunny, too.
	Oh, cool.
	I love bunnies.
	My daughter called him Josiah.
	We've always made fun of that name because it's on KEXP.
	One of the DJs is called Josiah.
	And he goes, hey, what's going on?
	This is Josiah.
	Josiah.
	But my son hates it.
	And he said, my wife, he wants to call him Jedi or JD, but my daughter wants to call him Josiah Dumplings.
	Josiah Dumplings McInnes.
	And my son is mad, my nine-year-old.
	And he goes, no.
	And then my wife says to him, how about just me and your sister call him Josiah privately, and you can call him Jedi and JD?
	And he goes, no, no one is calling him Josiah.
	He was pissed.
	Kind of got a point.
	My sister-in-law is an elementary school teacher who's about to start class.
	So she had the bright idea to order insects two months in advance to avoid supply chain issues.
	She's an elementary school teacher.
	This was the first time I was hearing on a shortage of bugs, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt.
	Lo and fucking behold, the next day, they show up from Amazon.
	This woman, I shit you not, chose to freeze them, thinking they would reanimate when thawed and subsequently continue their life cycle at the appropriate time.
	Yesterday, she thawed them out in preparation for this week's lesson, and much to her chagrin, discovered what I believe a 10-year-old with Down syndrome knows, things die when frozen.
	Simply googling caterpillars in the freezer would direct her to the fact that this is the quickest way to euthanize caterpillars.
	Our children are being taught by retards.
	P.S., this is my favorite part.
	She considered it a successful experiment because she, quote-unquote, learned something.
	Isn't that great?
	You can't freeze one caterpillar in the Arctic.
	I mean, in Alaska, there's a caterpillar.
	It's called the bear caterpillar or something.
	There's a couple bugs you can freeze.
	There's a beetle that can be frozen too.
	One type of beetle, though.
	And one very weird bear furry caterpillar that can handle it.
	And then there's, of course, there's the other bear, the water bear, that tiny, tiny, tiny thing.
	You know what I'm talking about?
	Tardigrade.
	Tardigrade?
	It can be frozen.
	Or the water bear.
	But there's like three things in the world that can be frozen.
	It's pretty rare.
	They say you could put the bee in the freezer, and then you take it out, tie it to a string, and then you have a bee on a leash.
	And that's what these gentlemen are trying to do, and I believe they did it.
	Yeah, I did that once with a fly.
	It's pretty cool.
	Yeah.
	Not if you're a bee.
	No.
	Okay, this is NSFW, folks.
	If you are eating or doing ED-like things, or there's kids in the room, I would suggest skipping forward past this next thing.
	But I would be remiss if I were not to show you something that I had never seen before.
	And it is female-to-male surgery.
	Yep, sure.
	The final result of what you get when you fucking make a dink.
	Cut off your tits.
	So this is perfectly normal female to male surgery.
	This is what you end up with.
	Everybody ready?
	One ready?
	Four, three, three, two, one.
	Dink.
	How's that?
	Wow.
	That looks great.
	Let's just lift it up there.
	Okay, little raw.
	Little raw.
	I don't know why my dick hurts.
	That's not a dick.
	You know how like when you see dick.
	What is happening to you?
	What have you done, lady?
	What is that?
	All right.
	It is gone.
	Is standing to pee that exciting?
	Is pissing in the woods that fantastic?
	Damn.
	Because you're not fucking with that.
	That's not getting erect.
	No human, woman, or man wants that in their body or to suck it.
	No fucking way.
	It probably doesn't even feel good to suck.
	It's made out of part of your belly.
	I've never had my belly sucked, but I don't want to.
	It's not very exciting.
	Correct.
	There's a lot of nerve endings on a penis.
	Not a lot on a belly.
	In fact, sometimes my belt will pluck out my belly hairs if I get it caught in the thing.
	No, it doesn't.
	I don't like it.
	It's mildly uncomfortable.
	It sucks for me because I only have five, so one of my precious hairs gets taken away.
	Then I'm sad.
	Dear Vitamin G, Rye Boflavin, and essential matty acids.
	Last week you mentioned a highly dubious account of a day in the life of Hunter S. Thompson, detailing his legendary purported boozing and drug use.
	I did a little basic digging, and it turns out this account is pulled directly from a book entitled Hunter, The Strange and Savage Life of Hunter S. Thompson, and it's written by none other than the resident kook and all-round nut bar Eugene Carroll.
	If that name rings a bell, it's because she is the woman who accused Trump of raping her in the fitting room at Manhattan Bergdorf-Goodman.
	Remember that one?
	Yep.
	But he didn't put his penis, he just dry humped her, according to her.
	And she saved the dress, but she refuses to have it DNA tested.
	And her bullshit story made it to the cover of New York magazine.
	And everyone was championing her until a bunch of clips started appearing from her various shows where she said things like, most women think of rape as sexy.
	Really?
	So I guess next time a woman reports a rape, the cop should say, you're welcome, you horny bitch.
	You must have loved it.
	Eugene Carroll, there she is.
	Look, on the cover of New York Magazine.
	And she's wearing the dress she wore that Trump raped her in.
	No, you missed it, you blind buffoon.
	Lower?
	There.
	No?
	New York Magazine.
	Oh my God, she looks like a fucking ball of lint.
	My son's on the cover of a magazine.
	Yeah, show the rape sexy thing.
	She's, of course, also responsible for the...
	According to several reviews of the book, Hunter, according to several reviews of the book, Hunter even includes a literary device where the author takes on a gonzo alter ego, whatever the fuck that means.
	Well, I'll tell you what it means, sir.
	Gonzo journalism was created by Hunter S. Thompson, and it means immersing yourself.
	I copied a lot of it for Vice.
	It means throwing yourself into the thing.
	So you don't just go there as a casual spectator.
	You fucking party with them, get wasted.
	You jump on a plane and you go to Puerto Vallarto with them and it's like balls out journalism.
	That's what it means.
	In any event, it's just more proof that Hunter S. Thompson's stories are greatly exaggerated, if not completely fabricated out of thin air.
	Violent assault.
	It is not.
	I think most people think of rape as being sexy.
	Let's take a short break.
	Think of the fantasies.
	We're just going to take a quick break if you can stick around.
	We'll talk about it.
	You're fascinating to talk to.
	Wow.
	I forgot about that.
	She's like someone who was in a car accident.
	Like that, remember that woman who was shot?
	What's her name?
	Elizabeth Gifford or something?
	Her husband traps her, parades her around sometimes, but she's just like, gun violence is really bad.
	Unsure if this has been pointed out already, but it was her, right?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, she's sad when she talks.
	Yes.
	Gabby Giffords did not make much of a recovery.
	I mean, pretty good for getting shot in the head.
	She doesn't say shit like rape is sexy.
	And then you're pretty cool to talk to.
	I think she might if you let her really ramble on.
	Ramble on.
	I think cars are beautiful.
	So strong.
	A car could crush a gorilla.
	Okay, we'll be right back.
	We're going to go.
	I think a gorilla would rape a car.
	And people would like that.
	They'd want to eat it.
	They'd say it was delicious.
	And then they'd run around.
	And they would get so tired, they would sleep right there.
	Right there in the broken glass.
	They'd fall asleep on it.
	They'd wake up bleeding.
	They bleed all night.
	Bleed.
	Use it as lipstick.
	There's a lot to break down their eyes.
	In their eyes.
	They would eat.
	They look like they're crying blood, but they put the broken glass all in their eyes.
	It's not fair.
	The car.
	It's not right.
	And the gorilla?
	Take it away.
	Or the actor.
	It has to be taken away right now.
	We do have to hit a commercial crew.
	If you can fly.
	Take it away.
	Give it back as small, little gumdrops.
	And you're promoting a new book, I believe.
	Yes, of course I am.
	Well, we'll talk about it after the break.
	That's why you'd use a sword.
	Absolutely.
	Chop it.
	Chop it up.
	All right, we'll be right back with Zorro on the fruit.
	Write Zorro on it.
	Not the whole word, just the Z. People know who it is.
	CNN, we'll be right back.
	Find her talking.
	Sometimes I'm black.
	She does a Biden thing where they like, here's, or the bird which is the bald eagle.
	She has like one sentence.
	She says that, and then they cart her away.
	Not making fun of any handicaps here.
	We're all making very clinical observations.
	See, this one.
	We respect disabilities.
	Moving speech.
	Shot in the head from less than a few hundred feet away.
	But she survived.
	When tragedy strikes, we seek comfort.
	Okay, we just want to see her talk.
	That's a tuba.
	We have some good news and some bad news.
	You will fully regain your ability To talk, you will always sound drunk.
	He was there for me, he'll be there for you too.
	Join us in this fight.
	Boat, boat, boat.
	Thank you very much.
	Whew, that's tough to watch.
	Or Gal.
	Unsure if this has been pointed out lately, but when you were talking to the Scottish guy on the phone, you asked, is it guy chinky?
	Or whatever the fuck.
	I'm Glaswegian.
	I have no idea what you meant by that.
	Something like, is it lively or fun?
	Anyways, the guy on the phone thought you meant, is the guy a chinky?
	And he goes on to explain that the barman is, in fact, not Chinese.
	He looks like a cunt from Beverly Hills Cop.
	This may have only been funny to your Scottish subscribers.
	So my joke was, is it Guy Chinky in there?
	Guy, when I was a kid, I don't know if they still do this, but Guy means very.
	So if you're very Scottish, they'd say, he's Guy Scotts, by the way.
	It's Guy Drik the day.
	It's very Drik.
	It's very rainy out.
	So the Chingy is what you call a Chinese food place.
	And it's not derogatory.
	In fact, Asians will call it a Chingy.
	I'll work at the local chinky.
	That's my chinky that you've been getting food at.
	It's funny hearing a Scottish guy with this Chinese guy with a Scottish accent, by the way.
	So my pun was, is it Guy Chingy at the karaoke place?
	Because it was a Chinese thing.
	But yeah, I guess he missed the awesome joke.
	But I'd be interested to know if Guy is dead.
	You know what I'll regret for the rest of my life?
	I was at SNL when Gerard Butler was on.
	I was standing there in the front.
	Some guy, I think it was Jimmy.
	Who's the guy Jim Carries?
	Who's Dennis?
	The guy that does the, woke up with more wet farts than a battleship.
	Dennis Miller?
	Dennis Miller.
	So Jimmy Miller.
	Jimmy Miller got me a pass where I could just wander around.
	So you know how you see those people in the very front?
	I was standing behind them, just wandering around the set.
	I could come and go as I pleased.
	I had like the pass that the ADs have or whatever.
	And Gerard Butler was right as far away as like that wall doing his, pretending to be an SNL, the news update, and he was doing a Scottish accent and he was being unintelligible.
	And I didn't have the balls to do this, but I was going to run onto the set, pretending to be Scottish and say, are you making fun of us?
	You think Glasgow is something to be ridiculed?
	Is that how you're selling out your people?
	Mocking us here.
	Mocking our culture.
	Is our culture a joke to you?
	And I would have been grabbed, probably charged with trespassing.
	I wasn't an American citizen back then, so I could have been extradited.
	But it would have been legendary.
	It would have been on the Wikipedia forever.
	It would have been a moment, yeah.
	I've never seen anyone storm the stage on SNL.
	No.
	Ever.
	Fuck.
	And then I think the audience would have laughed and got along with it because they're like, we don't know what's going on.
	This is probably supposed to be happening.
	So it might have been well received.
	Yeah.
	It would just be fun to see someone fuck up that show.
	I mean, there was the punks when fear played.
	They trashed the studio, but no one saw it.
	Anyway, last one.
	Hello, Maddie.
	Oh, it's for Maddie.
	Prison question.
	Well, let's save that for.
	Well, I already started it now.
	I'm smoking legal weed while I write this, but my question is, can anybody add dollars to anyone's commissary in prison?
	The answer is yes.
	You go to JPEG, you get the app, you get the, you know, you have to know the jail, the name, and the, what is it called?
	The number, EN number, I think.
	They all have their own nine-digit code.
	You just fill it up.
	My thinking is, let us say a person brutally tortures and kills a child, rapist, murderer, scumbag, like totally teaches humanity to never even think of committing the same crime.
	The torture was so intense and crazy.
	Can we put money on this guy's account?
	And then he's talking about this dude.
	He's saying, can we put money on the guy who killed that fucker?
	And the answer is yes.
	But JPEG limits you to $100 max per person.
	But I've been putting money on Max and John's book since they went in there.
	All right.
	It's time for the final vid, folks.
	Sure is.
	This is a man showing off his mug collection, and the boom mic gets caught in the ceiling fan.
	Let's indulge.
	Oh, sorry, this is 4-5, the first one.
	So just make that as big as you can.
	Big, big, big.
	Bigger, bigger.
	We don't care whose account it was.
	Our journey begins with this mug.
	David Mugphone.
	This collection represents.
	Now, the reason I show that, it's obviously fake, but what incredible craftsmanship.
	What a fantastic job they did of that joke.
	The shelves collapse perfectly.
	So, first of all, they're strong enough to hold those mugs.
	Those are real mugs.
	So you've managed to make something strong enough to hold like 100 mugs in total, yet totally collapses with the touch of a finger.
	Like that alone, that guy deserves some sort of laureate award, Nobel Peace Prize in Physics.
	Whatever the physics award is, that guy deserves it.
	The technicians who put that together.
	What a fantastic job.
	100% of the mugs collapse.
	And you don't have a lot of takes, by the way.
	No.
	You got one take, folks.
	One take.
	Like, I want to blow the dude who did this.
	Look at that.
	I think the camera looked away to give them a chance to have something to cut away with.
	Right, but it seems like they didn't use it, right?
	Yeah, what it probably is, is there's little triggers already.
	It could be strings or something on the other side of the wall.
	Right.
	So it's time to sort of collapse.
	And they got everyone.
	And then perfect ending.
	Nice work, folks.
	All right, moral of the story is we can't trust the media to do our own research, so we got to do our own research, figure it out ourselves.
	Because not only are they not doing their job, they're lying to us.
	And we don't like being lied to.
	It's a waste of our time.
	So let's get in there.
	Let's get crunked and figure out what the fuck is happening.
	And until tomorrow, get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.

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