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April 4, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:25:22
S4E102 - THE KIDS IN AMERICA
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That was Cold Play and their big hit.
What the fuck was that song?
Clocks.
Clocks.
You can become a pop star, but you have to sell your soul to the devil.
And the devil makes you pay him back by making you play the same fucking song every night for the rest of your life.
Can you imagine the tedium of being in Cold Play?
You know they're waiting for that and the other one, Yellow.
It's all yellow.
Hey, Vandana Dee, and it was all yellow.
Yeah, we love when you sing this song.
Do it again and again and again for decades until you die of old age.
See Phil Collins recently in a wheelchair.
I can feel it coming here tonight.
Can I just die, please?
The reason I chose that song is because I was microaggressed today at the gym.
Racist.
A black man came up to me who I know very well.
And now the thing about microaggressions is people don't realize they're doing them, so I'm not saying this was malicious, but as a white person, it was offensive.
He said, hey, Gavin.
And I thought, oh, good, a black person likes me.
We can talk.
I want to see Coldplay live.
We don't all know each other, okay?
I cannot get you cold play tickets.
Just because you see a white man doesn't mean we know the guy who decoupled fucking Gwyneth Paltrow.
All right?
And he had no idea how hateful he was being.
And it got worse.
Do you want to know what he said next?
Yeah.
He said, I like, you know, when that nigga's like, on the piano and shit.
Ooh, that's a hate crime right there, bro.
Fucking burned.
And you know what I did, like a pussy?
I just went like this.
Yeah.
Thank God the bell rang and I could get back to punching a large bag of rags.
I think that's what's in heavy bags, like old clothes.
It's not sand.
The sand ones are just like hitting a rocket.
They're horrible.
Should we get a boxing, I mean a heavy bag in here?
Yeah.
We need like one of those that come with the frame because I don't think the ceiling would support it.
It would just start swinging like crazy.
I remember Crowder had one in his office.
He's like, you want to hit it with me?
I was like, no.
Your office is 10 by 10, dude.
That's like boxing in a bathroom with someone.
Withstand.
So that was horrible.
And I would liken it to when a black person is, you know, in an area that doesn't have a lot of black people and white people like touch his or her hair.
Yeah, those things.
Not that expensive.
The problem is the bag is 25% of the price empty.
And you think, good, I'll just get it empty and I'll fill it.
It's kind of a cunt to fill those things.
And it's hard to get the exact right kind of consistency.
Even at the gym, there's certain bags that I like and certain bags I don't.
You have bag preference.
It can be too soft.
It's like Goldilocks.
Gotta get sand.
Too soft, too hard.
Halfway with sand.
Wait, what does that say?
Halfway with sand, six pounds.
What does that want us to do?
Work the fabric into the gaps or pockets that form to fill the space.
After the first six inches, add a sandbag to the center.
We've used this.
Oh, shit.
Let's get...
Let's eat that shit.
Okay.
Well, let's...
This is kind of a stretch, but you should, yes.
I'm going to suck off a piece of shit to start the show.
I promised you this.
It was...
I finally tracked it down what was going to happen.
I said the freezer.
You can use their freezer.
But I had agreed, probably when I was drunk, that if you donate $100 to the live chat for Max and John, I will suck off a piece of shit.
People called me on it and said, you be a man of your word.
You promised you were going to blow a piece of shit.
And I said, it's hard to get a piece of shit.
And then I drank whiskey on Sunday because I don't have to do Lent on Sundays.
That made me dehydrated and I finally had a solid piece of poo, which I don't usually get.
It's usually explosive diarrhea.
So I picked it up out of the bowl.
Is this from my house, this saran wrap?
Yes.
Wait.
Okay.
I just want to let you know the condoms that I got were ultra thin, so that way you could, quote, feel everything.
Where'd you get the ice?
From a freezer.
Why did you use up so much fucking of my saran wrap?
Well, there was no more Ziploc bags.
Just take it in the bag.
All right, so I froze this piece of poop.
When I went to pick it up...
Do you want gloves?
Yeah, do you have gloves?
Did you just offer me gloves without knowing if you had gloves?
I'm pretty sure we did.
It didn't occur to me that the smell would bother me so much.
I went to pick it up and it broke.
I haven't touched a piece of poo since high school.
And they don't really stick to their guns.
So I guess I'm going to put it in a it's frozen.
I put it in the freezer.
My wife's away.
And so she didn't see that I have a frozen piece of shit.
I also didn't want to be caught with condoms in the house.
I don't want my kids seeing these.
Is dad having an affair?
So I'm just going to put this in a condom.
Ryan, we don't have gloves.
Stop.
Don't offer someone something when you don't know if it's there.
I can't have the gloves for the written house thing.
I'll just use this.
For a written house LARP.
Alright.
Here we go, folks.
I would fast forward if you're eating and you don't want to enjoy this.
I'm not going to enjoy it, but I'm a man of my word, so here we go.
Hold my breath.
You want some sort of music?
Yeah, baby.
Cold plate.
Okay.
So it stayed frozen pretty good?
Yep.
You crazy for this one?
Okay.
That was unpleasant.
That seemed bad.
Life, you know, has its unpleasant things.
But you have to be a man of your turd.
Boy, are the cleaning lady is going to be confused when they see this.
Oh, my God.
Dude, they already hate me, I'm sure, because I have piss bottles from the live shows and they just didn't throw them out because they're like, that's piss.
I'm not going to touch you.
That lube has got a kind of a grainy sandiness to it.
All right.
Let's start the show.
Shall we?
Yes.
We ready to rock?
I believe we're rock ready.
Let's fucking do it, man.
I've already sucked off a piece of shit.
How much worse could this show get?
Not much worse.
We're even now, by the way.
Yes.
Right?
I think this goes forward for any further bets, too.
Condoms.
Condoms are for fags, literally.
Correct.
Ezra Levant once said, going to Great Britain is like getting in a dystopian time machine where I get to see what we're going to be like in five years.
And we're going to suck, apparently, because get this.
The guy's in Cancun.
He can't come to America.
Last time he was here, he was held at the airport and he did something I would not recommend.
He said, fuck this, and ran.
He ran out of the airport from like the holding area.
Proud boys will be familiar with this area.
It's what they make you stay in.
So he's banned from America forever, but obviously he's a free man.
He's done his time.
He did his time twice for the same crime.
That's a new one.
A contempt of court.
The previous most severe punishment for contempt of court in Britain was a $1,000 fine, which the guy didn't even pay.
He did two solitary prison terms where they tried to kill him and the authorities put him in with Somalians who were going to kill him.
Luckily, Tommy can fight and he beat the shit out of them.
They threw boiling water at him, which he geeked out and then got him with some good body shots.
Did it twice.
They tried to poison his food so he only eat from the canteen.
So he only had tuna and a bag of chips every day.
He lost 40 pounds.
Remember how gaunt he was when he got out?
I said, how you doing?
And like two days later, I go, you putting the weight back on?
He goes, my, I could look at McDonald's and I gained 10 pounds.
So he should be a free man, right?
Goes to Cancun.
He's relaxing.
If you recall, the last time he vacationed in Britain, a Pakistani pedophile touched his daughter.
Oh my God, he looks like shit there.
Look at that.
A Pakistani pedophile touched his daughter.
The police came and arrested Tommy Robinson, the girl's father.
Had he beat the shit out of the pachyderm, which he should have.
Nope.
He was just being rambunctious.
They let the pedophile go and they accosted Tommy Robinson.
That pedophile's lucky he's alive.
Anyway, this just happened like this weekend.
So Tommy's down there with his family.
The British government calls the Mexican authorities and says this person is a national threat.
You need to deport him.
He needs to be extradited from Mexico.
Bring him back here.
Your country is in danger.
He's probably there recruiting new revolutionaries to overthrow Mexico.
And of course, Tommy's focus these days is rape.
And the government doesn't like that.
Why, Gavin?
Why would they like rape?
They want children to get groomed and molested and fucked?
No, not necessarily, but they don't like you drawing attention to that.
You see, Tony Blair and other prime ministers and politicians, but Tony was the big guy, opened the floodgates to Muslim immigration very recently, and he permanently changed Britain.
It was a fuck you to working class Britain.
And I honestly believe that a big bone of contention that the middle classes Have with the working class is that the middle class tried to get involved in soccer.
This is a crazy theory, hang on to your hats.
And the British working class said, No, fuck you, you don't belong here, and didn't make them feel welcome.
In the 60s and early 70s, soccer was a working class thing.
The middle class didn't go to soccer matches, it was a blue-collar thing.
You know, Tottenham and Manu.
And, you know, you got the Sham 69 and always forever blowing bubbles.
And y-do!
It was a working-class thing, and that's when they all got together.
And then it became kind of mainstream in the 80s and 90s, and they said, we want to come.
And the British working class said, fuck you, Tough.
There's obviously a lot of class tension there.
And the middle class went, right, I'm going to fuck you over, you racist piece of shit.
And they made soccer woke and you take a knee, Black Lives Matter, flags.
And I believe that was part of the animosity where Tony Blair said, when I'm prime minister, I really want to fuck those yobos.
So as Nigel Farage says, he imported millions of Muslims to rub our noses in it.
That was Farage's quote.
Rub the working class's nose in diversity.
And they did.
Good.
Problem solved.
Fuck you for not letting me enjoy soccer with you.
But they ended up importing a bunch of inbred Pakistani rapists who see white women as human garbage.
And where pedophilia is semi-tolerated over there, they decided to bring that across the ocean.
And they have a major rape problem.
So when Tommy exposes the rape problem in Britain, he's exposing labor and the British government's malfeasance.
And that's embarrassing.
That's really all of this comes down to.
Tommy's spotlighting child grooming gangs in Britain.
The government could give a fuck at the racist implications.
That's not what this is about.
It's just that their incompetence is being spotlighted.
And that's embarrassing to them.
So they've just decided to torture him for the rest of his life.
They throw him to jail, in jail twice for the same crime.
And they had him fucking extradited.
His family's still in Cancun right now.
He was lifted off the beach and brought to the airport where he was put on a flight and sent home.
And then when he gets home, the cops in Manchester start roughing him up, rip his shirt, shove him around.
There's a little clip of it coming up.
That's the cop.
What?
And don't sleep on this.
This is where we are headed.
This is going to happen to Nick Fuentes.
I promise you.
Nick Fuentes is going to be somewhere on vacation and he's going to be picked up by the authorities and sent back.
Actually, he can't go to Mexico.
He's on a no-fly list.
First, it's Tommy, then it's Nick, then it's me, then it's you.
His kids aren't there to see that.
They're back in Mexico.
What are you fucking about?
Just throw him in a room.
That's that Mencurian accent.
Well, that's weird.
Anyway, jump ahead.
So he doesn't end up getting arrested.
He just resists arrest.
And they say, fine.
I don't recommend you try that.
It doesn't usually work.
That's not what I'm more annoyed about.
So I've just landed at Manchester Edwards after being deported from Cancun.
You can tell he hasn't slept.
They can stop me going to Mexico and my three children.
They are not just inflicting their persecution, state-sponsored persecution on me, but time and time again now, in front of my kids.
If you could read...
All right, you get it.
Don't get upset for me.
So we cry when Mexicans are separated from their children at the border.
Mexicans who are illegal.
These are people, by the way, who are child trafficking, who are raping kids.
Remember when Trump said they're bringing rapists?
They are.
I think 86% of the women who cross the border get raped.
In fact, it's a rite of passage.
They take birth control.
And they rape children, too.
They rape 12-year-old girls.
The age of consent in Mexico is 12, by the by.
So we panic.
We pretend that they're actually families.
They're not.
They're using the kids as tools, pretending to be a family.
Yet, if a patriot goes to Mexico, he can be separated from his family.
Pretty fucking amazing.
Let's run with that and do the war on kids.
Hello, fam!
I had a text page upgrade.
Who wants to pound my bag?
We're living in an ageism era where children are seen as human garbage.
Regulations to indoctrinate American school children with poisonous and divisive left-wing doctrines.
So, if you're not already mad enough from the Tommy Robinson shit, and by the way, that's torturing His children.
You're sitting on the beach with your dad.
You're finally away from that bullshit in Britain.
And, you know, I've spoken to him about his kids.
His kids are not fully jazzed with this.
They're little kids.
So they're not like, Dad, I understand that you have to fight for what's right.
And you went to prison because you're trying to save the children of this country.
You're trying to save this country.
I appreciate that because I can see the long-term fortitude of what you're doing.
His kids are my kids' age.
They're little.
So they're just like, dad does a thing and keeps getting into trouble and it keeps getting worse.
So there's that.
And then they finally go to Mexico.
They can relax.
They're off the grid.
They're out.
They're nowhere near Britain.
Then Britain has him removed.
Anyway, speaking of the war on kids, Taylor Lorenz, a fucking cunt, who I hate, yet another one of these childless hags who has devoted her life to chasing around dads.
I guess they all have daddy issues.
They say they're fighting hate, but of course, if it's hate from Muslims, hate from blacks, hate from any other group, fucking Asian hate, they totally ignore it and they focus on conservative males, which I presume is based on some sort of problem they have with their dad.
And they sabotage families, even if that hurts the kids.
Just like the British government, they're out to destroy children's lives.
Maybe it's because they're childless and they just don't see children as human.
They just, I mean, they're pro-abortion, right?
So anyway, I don't want to share the ugly crying I did after my 15-plus year was destroyed by Taylor Lorenz.
Oh, that's the chick suing her, right?
I want to move on.
I also can't help my visceral reaction to her crocodile tears.
I am appalled.
So Taylor Lorenz claims that we are torturing her.
So play a little bit of that.
I have had to remove every single social tie.
I had severe PTSD from this.
I contemplated suicide.
It got really bad.
Is that her boyfriend?
You feel like any little piece of information that gets out on you will be used by the worst people on the internet.
Just take all that in.
You feel like every little bit of information will be used against you by the worst people around.
Please tattoo that under your brain for the thing I'm about to show you.
Used by the worst people on the internet to destroy your life.
And it's so isolating.
It's so isolating.
And terrifying.
It's horrifying.
Horrifying.
I'm so sorry.
It's overwhelming.
It's really hard.
I've had to really hope.
It's overwhelming.
It's really hard.
Next link, please.
That's right.
Taylor Lorenz doxed Pamela Geller's two beautiful young daughters.
Pamela Geller is the woman who is the Tommy Robinson of America.
Like me and Anthony Cumia, she was awoken by 9-11 and became political after that date.
She is very concerned with radical Islam.
Radical Islam has ruined Britain, as we just learned, and it could ruin America.
It is anti-Semitic.
It is violent.
It is dangerous.
100% of the plain terrorism we have seen in this country is from Muslims.
Why do you have to take off your shoes?
Why do they check you at the airport?
Because of Muslims, not because of white supremacists.
She had a Muhammad drawing contest in Texas because it's a free country and you should be allowed to do that.
A man showed up to kill her.
The FBI knew this man.
The FBI was following that man that day.
They did nothing.
You know who saved her?
Her security.
A Texas patriot, retired cop, pulled out his gun and killed the terrorist who was on his way there to kill Pamela.
She has round-the-clock security.
I believe her husband died or something.
Maybe he's divorced, but she's emptied her bank account just with private security.
Now, her daughters are apolitical.
They are not interested in this crusade.
They had a fun show.
Show them.
Put them up in the corner there.
They had a fun show on YouTube that was a silly, it was called like Coffee with the Gals.
I actually watched it without knowing that Pamela Geller was their mother.
I thought it was a fun thing.
I would have liked to have it on censored.
It was just a silly coffee show where they talked about would you kiss Brad Pitt type of stuff, right?
Fun little silly girl show.
Taylor Lorenz outed them.
Now they need round-the-clock security.
So what happened?
They all went into hiding.
Have you heard of Pamela Geller recently?
No, she's gone because they put her lives, her children's lives in danger.
Taylor Lorenz.
Now, these girls eventually came out of hiding.
And I think one of them has a media career, but her life's in danger.
She's aware of that on a daily basis.
She is, both of those girls are scared of putting anything out there because it could lead to their demise.
So though one of them still has a career, she's managed to come back, she's putting her name out there in the face of grave danger thanks to Taylor Lorenz.
It's so isolating.
If that girl, Pamela Geller's daughter, the one who's still out there, I think only one of them was brave enough to remain in the public eye, mentions her location, talks about something that could identify, shows, I don't know, her office in the background or something, she can be killed because Taylor Lorenz doctor.
And the girls had done nothing wrong.
If you look at that article, it wasn't like they were part of this anti-Muslim movement, but their mother was.
So they have to suffer.
The sins of the mother.
I don't think those girls should be back in the media.
I don't think that girl, she's got a lot of followers on Instagram, one of them.
I don't think she should be.
But that's what she wants to do.
It's what makes her happy.
How fucking insane is that?
Like the hypocrisy of exposing two young girls, and I think they were about 18 or something when 18 and 16 or whatever when she did that.
Exposing those girls and then crying that you feel vulnerable.
What a fucking bitch.
Wait, did he get less of a sentence?
First, it was going to be 28 years, and then rights lawyers asked for a sentence of 14.
Said they re-sentenced him.
It's okay to want to kill someone if they're Islamophobic.
Where did he spend 10 years in home confinement?
What?
Oh, boy.
Wow.
That's like the black kid who got two years for killing that old man who said the N-word.
He's the one that testified against Wright.
So he gets 10 years.
But the other guy gets 14.
Speaking of the war on kids, let's try to get less mad here.
Lenore Skinese, she's on this site now.
She did my free speech podcast.
She wrote a fantastic book I highly recommend called Free Range Kids.
It's in my top 20 books.
She was in court recently defending a woman who committed the horrific sin of letting her seven-year-old play.
Mom let Son Seven play in Park, where mom's friend was teaching yoga, while she bought a Thanksgiving turkey.
Mom will be put on the child abuse registry if we lose.
Seven years old.
Now, I'm from the 70s.
I'm older than you.
When my mom was a kid, she was walking around town at four.
I think that's a little young.
But seven years old?
Yeah.
We were gone all day at seven years old.
I'm sure you were too, right?
Well, your parents didn't love you.
That's not the best thing.
They loved me very much, but they also trusted me and my instincts.
So they're going to come to a verdict in about 20 days.
We'll try to keep you posted on that.
But how fucking insane is that?
And you know, I love Lenore Skinesi's thing.
I kind of stole her get fired from her.
She said, let your kids play if they're seven years old alone in a park.
They can't arrest us all.
That's the way that you make change.
You get in trouble.
You get arrested.
That's the only way.
The solution is not to hide your children and lock them in the house with video games.
Seven years old, me and my buddy, we're biking like four or five miles out of town to throw rocks in a pond.
And the funny thing is, child abduction and everything has gone down.
It was bigger when we were kids.
There was more violence towards children back then.
The crime has gone down, believe it or not, in the past 20 years.
Final thing that's fucking pissing me off is my son's reading list.
This is, my son was, he hid this from me because he knows I'm going to go to the school and cause an issue.
Look how woke this motherfucking list is.
March by John Lewis.
That's the guy who looks like that baby mask.
You know, the crying baby mask?
He looks like a giant baby.
He marched with MLK.
He hasn't done anything since.
He can't get over it.
In fact, even after his death, they marched his coffin across that same bridge that he crossed with Martin Luther King in, what, 1968?
Get a new thing, Marchman.
Yeah, he looks like the crying baby mask.
And then number two, you have to choose one of these.
Stamped, racism, anti-racism, and you.
This is fucking Ibrahim X kids' version.
Non-fiction, it's called.
No, it's not non-fiction, I'm afraid.
That's fucking bullshit.
This is the guy who said, you cannot be anti-racist and pro-capitalist.
To be anti-racist is to be anti-capitalist.
And he also said, it's not enough to be not racist.
You have to be anti-racist.
In other words, everyone has to be against capitalism.
This is what they're teaching my 13-year-old son in school.
To kill a mockingbird, which, by the way, is getting banned in some places.
I think actually the right is trying to ban that book.
It's about an innocent black boy who was accused of rape.
And I remember when I was a kid reading that book, I just took it as a given that people accuse black people of rape and they're always innocent.
Because that's the way I was raised.
But after seeing what really happened with the Tulsa massacre, as they call it, that started with a guy sexually assaulting a white girl.
Maybe he did do it.
But anyway, so that's a woke book.
It's a great book, though.
Kids should read it.
Fahrenheit 451.
So that's the temperature that it takes to burn a book.
So this is about book burning, which is obviously horrible, right?
But you can tell that the framing is going to be conservatives.
Because look, it's right after To Kill a Mockingbird.
I think To Kill a Mockingbird was banned by conservatives in the South at some schools.
So the next book is about how evil book burners are.
You seeing a message here?
This is the one I'm having him read, by the way, because it's the least woke one there.
Go down?
Just show the whole list, Ryan.
Hearts Unbroken.
I don't know what that is, but it's probably about racism.
Chains, slavery book.
Dreamland Burning, We Were Racist.
King and the Dragonflies, I don't know.
Oh, that must be Martin Luther King.
Just Mercy, I don't know what that one's about.
They made a movie on that where it's a falsely accused black guy and then a lawyer trying to, Michael B. Jordan trying to get Jamie Fox out of prison.
Okay.
The 57 bus, black brother, black brother, ban this book.
The first rule of punk.
What is that?
42 is not just a number for the Odyssey of Jackie Robinson.
You know, Jackie Robinson kind of fucked the Negro League.
Before Jackie Robinson, blacks enjoyed black baseball, and it would bring the community together.
Okay.
What's punker?
That seems punk.
That doesn't look very punk to me.
No, she's not exactly polystyrene of X-ray specs.
Boy.
So they even woke-ified punk.
That's awesome, man.
What's the other books there?
So basically, let's banned this book.
I'm hoping and praying that it's not.
They're all woke.
So the big picture here is a black girl's on the cover of every one of these motherfucking books.
No censorship, it says.
7% of the population is 100% of my kids' reading list.
Look at that.
Oh.
Well-behaved women seldom make history.
Oi Ve.
So the only book that is not a woke book is about a bunch of jerks that don't like books.
In other words, me.
So they've put a little trick in here where the only non-woke book is a book that is going to be framed as your hatred of all these other books.
How fucking woke is that?
I'm in the suburbs of New York.
I'm not in Berkeley.
I'm not in Portland.
This is a Portland Antifa reading list.
And if you go into a kid's bookstore these days, it's nothing but little girls in black astronaut suits floating around in space everywhere you fucking look.
Oh, what's the matter, Gavin?
You don't think black women can be astronauts?
Yeah, that's my beef.
I don't want them in space.
No, Negroes in space.
I wouldn't mind them in space.
Just kidding, guys.
It's a joke.
It's a joke.
All right, well, we're talking about racism.
Let's go to the racist segment.
I just didn't know these two, so I looked these up.
Oh, look at the covers.
They're all the same book cover.
You're going to be amazed.
Sassy books.
Look at this one.
Look at this.
It's literally the same.
Every book cover is a sassy black broad.
That's awesome, man.
What's the matter?
You have a problem with the sassy black broads?
No, but I don't think 7% should be 100%.
Do you?
I'm a black female.
What other different...
What else could I have done to you?
It's even affected our show.
Yeah.
This is really inconvenient.
That's a band that stole that song from a...
I think it was originally a slave song.
Black Betty.
Oh, Black Betty.
It's funny how they talk about you rip this off and then you hear the original and you go, that sucks.
Like Led Zeppelin and the Stones, they stole the blues from the black man.
Yeah, they made it awesome.
Ever heard Immigrant song?
You compare that to like Blyden, Blyden, Bleeding Gums Murphy and like, I got a June bug in my house.
Hey, my baby got a Dune bug out of now.
Shut the fuck up, Junebugs.
It's like Chinese food.
They don't have rice balls in China, you know?
Yeah.
They're delicious.
They have centipedes.
They don't have egg rolls.
Yeah, they have a hot turtle that's just in hot water, not even cut up, just a turtle.
Plop.
There's a cat.
There's a rat.
I don't want that.
I'm going to do a Dr. Zeus book about how gross China is.
That's amazing.
Dr. Zeus, of course, is banned.
That should be on the mailing list.
Because he portrayed an Asian gentleman as yellow.
Banned.
That book is toast.
Fahrenheit 451.
Here is a bullshit conversation.
Wait a minute.
Is that...
Oh, that's the Jon Stewart link, right?
Well, this one, it's a black man explaining white supremacy.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
I was kind of disappointed to see Sonny Johnson saying this is awesome.
I agree with you.
This is the basic problem.
No, the basic problem is you kissing his ass.
I can't stop.
You can just pull the companies to keep the kids restricted to the ghetto.
You can restrict the companies to keep us.
So it's up to you to talk to your brothers and your sisters and persuade them to take up the responsibility.
We've assumed that for over 400 years, we're not going to suffer patients anymore.
No more turning together cheat.
No more blessing enemies.
No more praying for those who despite the users.
We're going to show you that we've learned the lessons you've taught us.
We've studied your history.
And you did not take over this country by singing, We Shall Overcome.
You did not gain control of the world like you have it now by dealing fairly with a man who's cheating your word.
You're treaty breakers, your fires, your thieves.
What about the African Moors who took over Spain for hundreds of years?
What about Hannibal and his elephants invaded Sicily?
What about the Bantu?
The three most prominent tribes in Africa, I know everyone knows about the Zulus, but the biggies were the Bantu, the Khoisan, and the Pygmies.
Now, the Pygmies are the little shrimps.
The Khoisan are the ones who look like Asians.
Khoisan.
I dated one of those.
And the Bantus were the evil oppressors, the colonizers.
Africa is not a country, it's a continent.
And the Bantu tore through sub-Saharan Africa, enslaving Khoisan and pygmies.
So if you see a guy, an African-American, who doesn't look Asian or isn't short, he's probably an ancestor of a Bantu.
And he should be apologizing to everyone for slavery because that was him.
Everyone colonized.
And we used to say, well, everyone colonized, but we, okay, you can stop showing that fucking...
Everyone colonized, but we just did it best.
It wasn't that easy.
We tried to colonize Africa.
We kept dying.
Dr. Livingston, I presume, remember that?
That was the Scottish guy.
He made it the farthest.
He died.
So, germs were a big problem when we tried to get in Africa.
And as far as North America goes, that was 400 years of fighting the fucking Indians.
We didn't just steal that place overnight.
And they were killing each other, too, by the way.
Go look up the Apaches.
Not exactly the Sweeties.
Anyway, go back to him.
Look at the people.
You rape entire continents and races of people.
Then you wonder why these very people don't have any confidence or trust in you.
Your religion means nothing.
Your law is a farce, and we see it every day.
You demonstrated it in Alabama.
And I can say you because you're part of the whole system.
You profit from it.
You make your living from it.
You can walk around and talk to people, stand up in your pulpit on Sunday and preach nonsense songs and say, now we're going to give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.
And oh, Jesus, be among us.
As far as we're concerned, your Jesus is contaminated, just like everything else you tried to fuck you.
Jesus is contaminated.
Why did he just say, fuck you?
It just takes it.
You know?
And what's interesting, too, is that guy may have had a point, if that's like 1962.
But here we are, after over half a century of bending over backwards to placate and to pander to people of color.
The exact same sentiment.
Jon Stewart is saying that guy's speech verbatim.
People are paying $800 a plate to sit with other white people and hear that exact same diatribe.
And so the left will say, that's because it's still an issue.
No.
I cannot help you.
Climate change.
You've been bitching about that forever.
Because it's serious.
No, it's not serious.
You just bought a house that's touching the ocean.
You're obviously not worried that the levels are going to rise.
I'm done having a conversation with you.
You're a retard.
Which brings us to Wilfred Riley, who decided he was going to have an argument, a debate with Jared Taylor.
Guys, stop debating Jared Taylor.
You're giving Nazis a platform.
Just kidding.
You're losing.
Jared Taylor knows his shit.
I actually kind of won an argument with him where I had run the numbers on the bell curve and found the exact numbers of blacks who were smarter than whites and Asians, and it was more than he thought.
That's the best you're going to get fighting Jared Taylor.
He's a fucking samurai from Japan.
Do not debate him.
He will eviscerate you.
So Wilfred Riley, who's a dunce, is like one of these woke right-wingers who thinks that he's not a liberal, but he's a fucking raging liberal.
He also thinks he's black, and he's as white as he's whiter than me.
But I guess his dad was fucking Caribbean.
So he gets to pretend he's black.
But check out this debate with him and Jared Taylor.
Is that listed there?
None of my links showed up.
No, that's not it.
If you know who Wilfred Riley is, you should.
It says green.
I don't have a link for it.
Are you kidding?
I can look it up.
Hmm.
That's weird.
Basically, it's a diversity debate.
And Jared Taylor says, diversity.
Well, here's what no one understands about Jared Taylor.
They call him a white supremacist.
Jared Taylor says you should be able to have a blacks-only restaurant, a whites-only restaurant.
People should be allowed to segregate.
It shouldn't be illegal.
And it kind of happens.
I mean, black people choose black neighborhoods.
They don't want whites or Jews in their neighborhood.
Whites pretend they don't segregate, but they have very, you go to a rich liberal area and it's very demarcated.
It's got to be white.
They don't want the school zoning changed.
So segregation is already happening.
Eugenics is being practiced by every group.
And Jared Taylor says that should be legal.
He also says that if diversity is so valuable, then let it thrive.
Why do we spend trillions of dollars promoting it, affirmative actioning it, trying to make it so with programs and schooling and all of this effort?
You know, sex doesn't need to be marketed.
Marijuana doesn't need to be promoted.
Those things just survive on their own merit.
Why doesn't diversity thrive?
I don't want any more government spending on diversity.
Okay.
First one I'm not nuts about, but I understand the argument.
And the second one, I agree wholeheartedly.
Don't spend another penny promoting diversity.
So Wilford Riley's argument is that we're all going to be beige soon, and that's great.
No races will exist.
I hear that argument a lot.
I don't believe it.
And here's the other thing.
In a country that is this white, when you race mix, you just end up diluting your race.
Like, whites win in the end.
My kids, like, say your daughter, right, Ryan?
Sorry to bring your kids into it.
No problem.
She's going to look kind of Asian, but not as Asian as you.
Then she's going to inevitably marry a white guy.
I mean, statistically, it's just looking like that.
Those are what there's the most of.
Their kid probably won't look Asian.
Yeah, probably not.
And her grandkid definitely will not.
Same with my kids.
My wife looks very Chinese because she's American Indian.
Her mother is 100%, right?
My kids, one of them looks kind of American Indian.
The other, you wouldn't know if they didn't tell you.
Their kids will look 100% white.
My daughter barely looks Asian.
Look at Wilford Riley.
That's a funny picture of her.
Look at Wilford Riley.
He doesn't look remotely black.
His existence is against his argument.
And then he says something bizarre in this debate.
Show people the title of the debate so you can see it.
Great debate.
Wilfred Riley for Jared Taylor.
And he says, no, no, it's good to race mix, which isn't really Jared's argument, because You improve from that.
Blacks get smarter and whites get more athletic, which is crazy to say.
And secondly, that doesn't sound like it's very good for whites.
It sounds like their IQ is going down.
So, and it sounds like it's good for blacks.
I don't think being athletic is that advantageous.
Are you saying that if you had a 100% white area, you brought in 100% blacks, 100% of the mixed, you're saying that the average IQ would go down?
Poopsie.
That's kind of Jared's argument, my man.
Anyway, it's a shit show.
And we'll just take a sample of it because it's an hour and a half.
But towards the end, he brings on all of these people of color who are at the school.
No, that's not it.
It's a strange.
No, no.
He parades them out on stage.
Yeah, there they go.
This is crazy.
This is his point.
This is him saying diversity works, and he brings out a diverse group of people.
What?
And there's a point to this.
I'm going to close.
This will won't take very long, but...
Was that him speaking?
Close.
This will won't take very long.
He's whiter than Jared.
Ryan, it's embarrassing you're not familiar with Wilfred Riley.
I don't know.
I'm Gilliam.
I'm African-American.
My father's from Bahamas, so I consider myself Bahamian and African-American.
I'm a history professor here.
Wow.
You mean blacks can be professors?
Kind of short here.
Hi, I'm Crystal Conway Cunningham.
I'm African-American on both sides of my family.
Wait, you just kissed her?
I actually identify with lesbian, so that's even more diversity for you.
Wait, what the fuck was that?
Stop.
The presses.
Yeah, he kissed her.
Why did he do that?
Cunningham, I'm African Ames.
I'm on both sides of my family.
I think he's a fucking pervert.
I actually identify with lesbian, so that's even more diversity for you.
You are a lesbian or identify with lesbians, like you said?
I identify with lots of lesbians.
I'm a TERF.
I'm a trans-exclusionary radical feminist.
And I am.
Listen to this.
Hi, Jane Lingle, and I am, let's see, Irish, German, Scottish, English, Welsh, Cherokee, and Creole.
Creole?
Look at this guy.
I'm from the Appalachian area, and it's one of the most economically poor areas in the country.
And I hate niggers.
It's gross to be up here with them.
I wish Jared and I were the only white guys up here, and I wish everyone else just go back to where they fucking came from.
Anyway, sorry about that.
I'm about to lose my job, and I thought I'd go out in a blaze of glory.
My name is Shai Heath from Louisville, Kentucky, a graduating student.
Black's kind of get on my nerves.
I know it sounds crazy.
Psychology with a minor in biology.
Did I tell you that happened to me once?
No.
This black guy comes up to me.
He's like, hey, man, I know people say shit about you.
I hate black people too, you know?
I'm Irish.
I know I look black, but I consider myself Irish.
And these fucking, then he said the N-word.
They fucking get on my nerves, man.
I'm just like you.
I was like, this isn't the black friend I was looking for.
This is not the black friend you're looking for.
So it's dumb of me to bring up an hour and a half debate, but maybe get in the beginning of it somewhere.
Because he keeps bragging about the four wins.
He's listing all the things there'd be if there was no blacks.
All of that.
And it makes no difference whether all of those things that were unpleasant in our history, you can assume that they were 100% the fault of white people if you wish.
But the fact remains that the historical balance sheet for black-white racial diversity in the United States is crushingly, crushingly negative.
If you remove black-white racial diversity, you remove our worst war, the war in which more Americans died than all our other wars combined, you remove slavery, you remove all of the worst parts of our history.
Vanish.
Disappear.
You're hearing a Japanese.
I mean, how can diversity that brought those horrors be a strength?
I could sit down.
Okay, so now jump to Wilfred.
And I would have won this debate.
But let's move to the public.
He keeps talking about how I won, and this is why I'm going to win.
And it's a really weird angle to come at a debate with.
It's not very intellectual.
I think he's a moronic pervert.
All right.
Now I'm going to present my side.
Okay.
Those of you who don't know me, I write all the shows on Nickelodeon.
Bill Riley.
I'm a tenure track professor of philosophy.
SpongeBob I worked on.
I have a law degree from the University of Illinois, a PhD from Southern Illinois University.
I'm writing a book called Are the Browns Down?
A quantitative analysis of why people value race.
The answer, by the way, is no, we're not.
Americans of all stripes are apparently becoming less racist and more willing to engage with each other, which is one reason I think that disagreement, that we were both willing to stage the debate here.
I'd like to thank you all for being here.
And as he did with me, I thought that was a courteous gesture.
I'd like to thank Mr. Taylor for being here as well.
Thank you, Dr. Merlino.
We do have a tendency in the United States.
I think Jared Taylor is wrong about virtually everything, and I'm sure he feels the same way about me.
But we have a tendency in the USA right now, it seems, to try to silence speech, safe speech.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Stop talking about yourself and America.
Just say your fucking point, dude.
If this guy was a caller, I would have hung up on him by now.
School in a trailer park is going to be a fun experience.
I mean, that the sort of diversity we have and experience in the USA is a good thing.
Prove it.
I would rather live.
The question was, name a functioning multi-racial society just now.
The first multi-racial, multicultural society that comes to my mind is something I studied in undergraduate school.
That's the Roman Empire.
Another one would be the United States of America.
When I think of a mono-racial society, the first one that comes to mind is Somalia, and the second one is Bosnia.
So these assumptions can be dangerous.
To me, there are three parties.
I'm not thriving outside of that one war?
I don't know.
It's for diversity, which again, I mean, functional racial diversity.
First, and to me least importantly, diversity makes life more interesting and civilized and fun.
In terms of Spanish clubs and Indian food and food quarter foods.
They always mention food.
Sure, bring the food over.
And by the way, Indians assimilate very well into Western countries like America and Britain because they were a British colony.
So it's essentially white culture.
And African-American tennis players and so on.
There's no comparison between Chicago on the one hand and Lawrenceburg, Kentucky on the other.
Really?
Why don't you go for a little drive through the south side of Chicago there, Willie?
No offense to that great city, from whence some of you hail.
But there's a reason many of us travel to Louisville or Cincinnati every second weekend.
On a broader scale, I think people would prefer to live in the United States of America or to live in France than to live in Haiti or Bosnia.
I'm just going to keep naming uniracial societies.
Haiti is 99.7% black, Iceland.
So wait a minute.
Your argument that's pro-diversity is that black countries suck.
Okay.
We should be importing Haitians then?
I believe Port-au-Prince is the rape capital of the world.
Haiti and Bosnia for a reason.
And I think directly counter to Mr. Taylor, that the big positive, the next big positive of real American-style diversity is that it greatly reduces group conflict by causing what in political science we call pragmatic group consolidation as dozens of tiny little tribes come together into real races and nations.
There's a whole literature out there about the creation of whiteness.
My Irish ancestors weren't considered to be white until about 1950.
And this, unlike some of what we just heard, is in my opinion real social science.
There's a whole literature on it.
Boring and gay.
That's enough.
You get where he's going.
But it's something you should check out on your own time.
Let's focus on what's really important.
My theory that Wilfred Riley is a perv.
Shall we make that a green screen?
Let's go.
We shall.
Good morning, everybody.
So I follow Wilfrid Riley on Twitter, and I don't know if he knows this, but every time he likes something, it appears on his timeline and says, Wilford Riley liked blankety blank.
Now, as a professor, you would think you want to avoid lurking on young girls and being a depraved perv who clicks really raunchy pornographic OnlyFans type stuff.
Even if you are a fucking pervert, I would just keep that under wraps.
I mean, we've all lurked and stalked on some hot chick, but you're supposed to feel dirty after and go, oh, fuck, what's the matter with me?
And burn any evidence of that.
This guy seems is either a proud perv or a retarded perv.
Let's look at some of the tweets he's liked over the years.
Okay, this is a redhead named Smokey that Wilfrid Riley liked.
She says, I choose what to wear purely based on how much of a mixed message I can make the outfit portray.
Okay, I believe that one, that's just a screen grab, right?
I believe that one has her tits, a lot of cleavage hanging out, but that one's not so terrible.
Okay, next.
I want to be the only girl you pee on, says Mrs. Dong Copter, and Wilford Riley thoroughly enjoyed that comment.
Okay.
Oh, here's the same girl that he liked before Smokey's back, and she had a mask and medical fetish before it was cool.
Pandemic has been very horny for me.
This young girl's horny, and Wilford Riley likes that.
Here we got.
I'm not making this up.
Here's a nice pothead.
All very young, these girls.
She calls herself cannabis flower, and Wilfred Riley likes that she's got nothing to do today, so she's just going to send nudes all day.
Alrighty, says Wilfred.
I'd like to check that out.
Here's a woman who just calls herself likes.
No man I ever dated who thought periods were gross ever made me come.
Wilfred Riley likes that.
He likes that she can't come with guys who don't love being on the rag.
The assumption obviously here is that Wilfred Riley doesn't mind if you're menstruating.
It's also implied here that he will perform cunnilingus on this particular young girl while she menstruates.
He doesn't care if he looks like a vampire on Thanksgiving.
Next.
I'm only going to stop talking if you give my mouth something better to do.
And then someone says, you like throat yogurt.
Okay, this woman is offering to fallate strangers.
Wilfred Riley likes that.
He likes the idea of a young girl sucking cocks.
Young woman, sorry, young woman.
Again, is this what a professor should be liking?
Like, there's two problems here.
One is you're a perv.
That's a pretty wide net.
We've all had our pervy moments.
But two, you're a public perv at a university.
And you thought you could beat Jared Taylor in a debate?
Bikini pick, since it's approaching summer.
And then she's got some nice long tits there, kind of droopers, that I like, and so does Wilfred Riley.
We're both fans of those tits.
Is that it?
That's it.
Yeah, so guys, if you're going to be a perv, do it in private.
Let's get Crip Daddy on the show.
I want to ask him about perving.
Oh, hell yeah.
Because here's how you perv correctly.
You look up someone Like Kim Taylor Bennett, that you haven't checked on in about 15 years.
Yeah, 2001?
No, more like 10 years.
And then you look at a bunch of her pictures on Instagram and then you go, ugh, what's the matter with me?
Then you feel dirty and you go wash your hands or something.
That's called simping.
We all do it.
We all occasionally shit our pants.
It's bad to shit your pants.
When you shit your pants, this is what you should do.
You should go, holy fuck, I just shit my pants.
Shit my pants, shit my pants.
Then you go to the bathroom, you take off your shoes and your pants, you carefully take off your underwear.
You don't want to get any streaks on your legs.
And then you go, get it together, me.
What the fuck's the matter?
You shit your pants again?
Is it that fucking pre-workout shit, that gorilla mind?
Jesus Christ.
What's the matter?
It's like I was at the airport.
I told you this story a hundred times.
I hear this guy going, what the, god damn it, what's the matter?
Look at this.
I got to clean this up now.
And I can see I'm taking a shit, not in my pants, in a toilet.
And I can see under the stall.
And it's a kid.
He looks from his feet.
He looks to be about like six.
And he shit himself.
So the dad's mad.
The dad's cleaning shit off his son's ass, putting it in the toilet, whatever.
Throws his underwear away.
And they go back to the gate.
And the mom is there.
We were leaving, I think, in Jamaica.
Everyone's white in this story.
And the kid lies on the mom, and the mom's stroking his head.
She's telling him it's okay.
They're both right.
That's why it's so important to have two parents.
Yes, get your shit together, literally.
He's right to be scolded by his father.
Come on, man.
You couldn't hold it for a few more seconds.
God damn it.
And you shit your pants sometimes.
That happens.
You need to be scolded and you need sympathy.
As an adult, slightly, you need a little more scolding, a little less sympathy.
But as a kid, your dad disciplines you and your mom says you got discipline, but it's going to be okay.
Oh, I got to turn around in my thingamadoodle.
So anyway, when you simp out, it's like shitting your pants.
You should feel bad.
Right?
Yeah, no, exactly everything you said.
Did you hear my whole diatribe?
Not even a little bit.
Okay.
So I just went through a bunch of tweets that this guy, Wilford Riley, liked, and it's all things like, I need some throat yogurt.
I'm going to have my tits hanging out.
He's a professor at a university, and he keeps liking these OnlyFans type of comments.
Okay, okay.
Now, I am embarrassed to admit that I have lurked on Instagram a couple times and looked at these young girls who have slitty pictures.
Like, I follow her.
She's funny.
But, like, I have had moments on Instagram Reels where I've lurked on some fucking hot chick and even sometimes clicked follow.
And then I immediately unfollow it and feel dirty inside because simping is lame.
Do you simp, Crip Daddy?
I get corny, but I would never go as far as to exhibit any sort of social embarrassment type activity because I have that foresight for people like you that would see me.
And I'm like, nope, I can't do that.
I can't live like that.
Do you follow hot chicks on Instagram?
Not Instagram.
I don't do Instagram because I am a guy.
But I follow a few on Twitter, yeah.
And are you ashamed of that?
Well, if it makes it any better, which I don't know if it does, but majority of them I'm actually like cool with.
Well, that's weird.
Then it's not simping.
Simping is, and she can't have any comedy on her site.
If a simp is looking at a beautiful woman that he'll never meet and doesn't know him and imagines how wonderful it would be to suck her boobs or whatever.
And then, yeah.
You don't even have to let it be known.
No, then not too much.
Nothing more so than the usual.
I would, however, let Aubrey Plaza ruin my life happily.
But that's about it.
Yeah, she's fucking hot.
She's kind of too hot, though.
I feel that, and that's why I think I would let her be mean to me.
That's okay.
Who's this chick?
Save the kids.
Clinton is Satan.
Wow, that's a cat.
I don't know, but she'll get pregnant real soon if I see her.
Do you watch pornography?
Oh, yeah.
What's in your search bar?
Oh, man.
What is it?
I'm a fucking degenerate man.
Big black cots.
Oh, really?
I don't like seeing black men in the porn.
I don't watch porn, but when I do because I want to imagine it's me, and if I see this big black dong, that's clearly not my dick.
Well, that's why I watch it, because I'm like, yeah, that's me.
I relate to it.
Simpleert.
Uh-oh, simpleert.
I know her, though.
I'm in a group chat with her.
She's a woman.
You know, she gets a little emotional.
Ryan, if he knows her, then it's possible he'll fuck her one day.
And that's not simping.
That's now research.
True.
Okay.
That's perfectly legit.
I was shocked when I looked at Red Tube recently, and there was so much stepbrother, stepdad, stepsister.
Does everyone want to fuck their parents and their siblings or something?
Yeah, there's been a huge increase in that within the last, like, I'd say 10 years, I'd say.
It's probably been the thing forever, but I think it's become way more normalized and mainstream now to just be like, yeah, dude, I'd fuck my mom.
I always thought it would be, like, I always said, never fuck anyone at work because if it doesn't go well, which it probably won't, you have to see this person like to live for your duration there.
Fucking your stepsister, like, forget all the pedophilia incest shit that it brings up.
You're going to have to see her forever now.
Yeah.
Every Thanksgiving, you're going to know that alongside the turkey, she is also getting snuffed.
Bad move.
Not smart.
I mean, it's just kind of like when the quarantine hit, you know, you get a little lonely.
You get cabin Fever and a hole is a hole.
A hole's a hole.
So, wait a minute, though.
You're kind of contradicting yourself.
You said you don't simp.
The only girls, hot girls you follow, you actually know, but then you watch porn.
Isn't watching porn simping?
Maybe.
I mean, that could be an argument.
I look at it more as the way people watch Marvel movies, and they're kind of like, oh, wow, this is so cool.
I'd be Spider-Man, Batman, or whatever.
I'm like, yeah, dude, I'd fuck her tits like that.
That's cool.
And you can do that with the black guy.
Yeah, I'm blank from the waist down.
That's why my legs don't work.
Wait, you could fuck a black guy's tits?
I'm getting confused here.
I could.
If they have them, I would.
I'm inclusive.
All right, you're kicked off the show.
He knows her, though.
Do you know her?
He's not.
Okay.
Just a test.
All right, you're kicked off the show for fucking a black guy's tits.
Goodbye.
There's no way he knows her.
No, but that's a common meme going around.
Is it?
Yeah.
Sorry.
What, you wouldn't fuck?
No, we didn't say that.
Now, bye.
Okay, then.
Goodbye, Donovan.
Later, dude.
All right.
I think we're just about ready for the mailbag.
Aha.
The bailbag in which the mail happens.
I mean, we could have done a whole deep dive on that Jared Taylor thing, but that's something you should do on your own time.
Deep dive.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dent.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
I am so fucking hungry right now.
I'm considering sawing out that piece of shit and taking it out of the condom.
Well, there's chips, too.
I can just see that Mexican woman the next time she's having a margarita with her friends at El Rio de Bravo.
And she says in Mexican, what's the grossest thing you've ever found in a garbage?
Because we know gringos are disgusting.
But they throw out their shit paper in the garbage, so really?
The fact that it's not smeared on paper.
Initially, I thought he was throwing out the shit paper like we do back home.
But I have a close look.
And it won't be frozen anymore.
It's a cacao.
He take a shit into condom.
Why are they Asian?
He take a shit into a condom.
Oh, me is a Mexican meat.
No, the Mexicans are making fun of Chinese people.
She's a really funny, cool, racist Mexican.
Oh, I didn't know that.
Damn.
That's in my want ad.
Looking, searching.
Yeah.
Funny, cool, racist Mexican.
Yeah, when you tell them to like babysit, they're like, oh, take, take, baby, put to sleep.
Okay.
You're like, Rita, you're the best.
You know what?
They probably think you're a genius.
They're like, you know how we wipe our ass and then we put it in the toilet?
And then the trash?
He just shits in the trash.
I could never.
This guy's a genius.
I could never be as successful as white people.
Everything they do is so advanced, man.
They don't even shit in toilets.
They shit into these shit receptacles that look exactly like condoms.
They're amazing, those guys.
I think they piss a kind of a powder.
Because it's more efficient in organic or I'm diving into the middle here because this one caught my eye.
The subject is reporting in quotes on Ann Coulter.
Dear gave in.
That hurts.
Ouch.
And Fag Supreme.
Sucks.
Damn it.
I know you think he's this way.
Sorry, folks.
That's more aesthetically pleasing, but he's actually right there.
Remember our first studio?
Not the one, not the very first one.
Yes, I do.
With the slope ceilings.
We were like three feet from each other.
Yeah.
I saw myself yelling at you on YouTube because your watch was beeping.
Right.
I seem a lot angrier back then.
You may be.
You've cooled down with age, or you've just warmed up to the rye guy more.
The fag supreme.
And my watch stopped beeping.
And Coulter paid a visit to Indiana University last week, and this was the quote-unquote reporting on what happened.
It's like it was written by your snooty liberal voice, but they were too cowardly to include a byline, substituting IDS staff.
Pretty entertaining to me, but your mileage may vary.
And Coulter storms out after lying to IU for students for 75 minutes.
Yeah, that's what happened.
And again, I always say this about Ann.
What sentence was erroneous?
Because I always get the, how much of what she says is true?
And what's just for shock value?
I go, I need a particular sentence you're referring to.
Conservative commentator Ann Coulter spoke Friday at Wittenberg Auditorium, an event organized by Turning Point USA, blah, blah, blah.
She showed up 12 minutes late, you guys.
Timelessness, timeliness is apparently not a conservative value.
In a lecture titled Conservatism, Let's Review the Evidence, she took an hour and 50 minutes to lie about the American and French revolutions, the Cold War, and Soviet Union, crime, and about the left by repeatedly using strawman arguments that a five-year-old could refute.
Oh, good.
Well, then, I assume your next paragraph will be refuting any one of these arguments, right?
You brave person who calls yourself IDS death?
For Coulter, conservatism has three central tenets, freedom, safety, and normality.
Yes, by the way, you got to use an Oxford comma, guys.
Let's review the evidence.
Coulter began by contrasting the American and French Revolutions, praising the former as the embodiment of Anglo-Saxon, deeply Christian values, and describing the latter to be if Antifa took over a country.
She likens the American Revolution to conservatism and the French to liberalism.
I agree with her.
What's your point?
She conveniently ignores how the architects of the revolution were slave owners, many of whom weren't actually Christians.
What?
They were predominantly Christian, and yeah, everyone had slaves.
What's that got to do with Antifa?
The American revolutionaries created a free society for enslavers.
What a weird argument.
It's this view of history where you use your 2022 eyes and you go, that revolution wasn't Valid because you had slaves.
Yeah, everyone had slaves back then.
It was an unnecessary vice that was eventually extinguished.
Coulter decries the godless terror of the French Revolution while praising her hero Ronald Reagan.
She ignores the evidence of his administration's illegal funding of the contra-terrorists in Nicaragua.
Yeah?
They were fighting communism, his devastating economic policies, policies that decimated the middle class, and his negligence during the AIDS crisis, which resulted in innumerable deaths.
Anyway, that's a whole other thing.
At least he tried, though.
I didn't think there would be any argument whatsoever.
All right, now back to the top, Ryguy.
You talk about how important it is not to steal the fertile years of a woman's life.
This raises an important question.
Is it the gentlemanly thing to do to swoop on a friend's girlfriend if he's taking way too long to propose?
I like you more than the bald eagle.
Well, that's a tough one with too many symptoms, too many conditions I'd need to know.
But yeah, if a woman can be taken out of a relationship, she's not in a good relationship.
Eva Mendez could come to my door right now, bawling her eyes out, begging to suck my cock.
You know what I would do?
I would run out the back door of this studio, screaming and crying, and then I would go jerk off in my car.
I wouldn't leave my wife.
So if she can leave him, then do it.
Fuck.
Just do it.
Pat Dixon said the best favor a friend could do is fuck his wife because then he reveals that she's a cheater.
Yes.
Remember we talked about Anthony's girlfriend, Missy, and how if she ever hit on us, we'd just start sobbing.
Yeah, I'd just be like, I gotta go.
What?
No, no, not because we want to fuck her so bad, but because that would mean that Anthony's just been stabbed in the back.
Oh, that's true.
Interesting take, Ryan.
We were there.
You just misremembered a memory.
I guess that's normal.
G Dizzy Dog, sorry to say your sign looks like gay's tav instead of Gav's tav.
Yeah, good.
Oh, no.
It just got better, stupid.
Yeah, you just made it awesome.
I think that's a Gen X thing, the gay stuff.
Like, I was watching the new jackass, and it's just rife with gayness.
And I remembered that that's my generation's thing, like dressing up as fags.
We would go to gay bars to meet girls.
Like, once you turn 22, it's just amusing to you to wear a rainbow flag.
By the way, my son's school on Thursday is having Gay Pride Day.
Yikes.
It's like Pajama Day one day.
Dress wacky another day.
We're your favorite sports team another day.
And then one day is, fucking celebrate pride.
Oh, actually, it doesn't say gay pride.
It just says pride.
He should show up celebrating white pride.
Wow, that'd be amazing.
Amazing.
What?
You said it's Pride Day.
I'm proud to be white.
I mean, I'm only half white, but I'm really proud of it.
I'm proud of my white side.
Can you say that?
Don't know.
I'm mulatto.
I'm proud of my white side.
I'm proud of my dad's white heritage.
Why not?
That would really fuck someone up.
Well, they treat it the way they treat black proud boys.
They just go, they're deceived.
They're fucking fucked in the head, dummies.
I'm curious to see the kind of discussion Gavin and Anthony or Gavin, Maddie, and Ryan could have about Mahus of Hawaii, boys raised to be girls.
Gross, I guess, would be the...
I don't know about this.
Is this a thing?
Mahus.
I bet liberals give it a pass because it's fucking cultural.
Right?
And they're ethnic.
Oh, they're really ugly.
Third gender people.
I know the Native Americans thought that.
Look, they're ugly too.
Look them up.
They're hideous.
And they look like The Rock in drag.
Did you spell it right?
The Rock says...
M-A-H-U-S in Hawaii.
None of those are Hawaiian.
Yeah, look at that one on the left.
The other other at- There, there, there.
That's what they look like, dudes.
Setting great.
It looks like The Rock tried to make us laugh.
But yes, that's depraved.
Dennis Dear Piss Pants and Critically Low T. I forgot that's our new nickname for him.
Medium T. No, it's medium T. No, it's not.
You said it would be funny if it was medium tea.
It's not me.
Why do you keep saying it's medium T?
It's medium.
It's low.
Low, medium.
That's low.
There's a difference between medium, well, well, rare.
Okay.
It's low, medium.
Okay.
Being an avid golfer, are you spending any time this week watching the Masters Tournament?
I don't watch.
I see golf on TV when I'm at the bar, but I don't pay any attention to the sport of golf.
I have room for one thing in my life.
That's baseball.
And even then, it's just the Mets.
Fucking DeGrom is injured.
Can you show the Chiron?
April 7th is the first game.
That's in three days.
And we will be...
I've already done it.
I can lose $16,000 if they lose every game.
But I've already done it.
It's out of my hands.
I cannot pull it back.
But I'm betting $100 on every Mets game, and we will be monitoring our progress here.
I've got to leave early today to pick up my son.
My wife's out of town.
Dear Gapin McCainis and Chinky Hendrix.
And then tomorrow we're going to pick up my Jag.
We're going to shoot an episode of Car Guys.
But I think we'll still shoot a show.
We'll shoot a show in the car.
Dear Gapin McCainis and Chinky Hendrix.
You like that one?
That's the funniest one yet.
I don't know.
Why is it okay to say the Ukraine?
Don't.
It's not a thing.
I don't know who started that, but it's grammatically incorrect.
You sound as stupid as when you say purposeful or you say he hung himself.
People are hanged.
Things are hung.
He did it purposely, not purposefully.
Use an Oxford comma when you have a list of things.
And don't say the Ukraine.
That happened in Ukraine.
Is it because it starts with a U you feel weird starting something with a vowel?
I cannot think of any other country besides the United States of America or the United Kingdom, which no one ever says, that uses the before its name.
One wouldn't say the Canada.
Yeah, you're right.
It's wrong.
Okay, this is a long one.
Here we go.
Mets Pet.
Ryan, that's a bad design.
Why?
Because it's going to go into the three digits very quickly.
Oh, you just shrink them down.
But you don't want to be inconsistent like that.
It could be $10,000.
All right.
Well, then I'll shrink that so that way it never.
This is how you do design.
You start with the worst case scenario, like $10,000.
That's your starting point, and then you build from there.
What did I always say about the red book?
In French, they say la live rouge.
You start with the book, you fill it in red.
You don't start with red, and then cram it into a book, like the red book.
All right.
This is from a guy named Jason.
I'm 35 and married for nine glorious years.
And here's the strategy I've worked out with great success.
Ooh, I like these kind of letters.
When you miss a lay opportunity with your wife, instead of being moody and annoyed to teach her, which will not work long term, yes, it does.
It's been going great for me.
Instead, you double down on your lay intensity plans for tomorrow night.
Kind of like that fucker in the ass for all the bullshit you put you through, murder guy you always bring up, but with more Christ-like self-sacrifice.
The instant you realize it's not happening tonight, you flip the switch in your brain, realize that you're not the guy who didn't get laid tonight.
You're the guy who is getting absolutely laid tomorrow night.
And if it doesn't happen again, you triple down and so on.
I like this.
This is good.
By the way, don't take mine or his as mutually exclusive.
You can use both of these.
There's nothing wrong with that.
I guess you can't use.
I guess they are mutually exclusive.
Just suck it up and don't be a baby.
And combined with no porn and no fap, this all but guarantees you are getting honeymoon-worthy fuck almost every single encounter.
And you get to be happy, funny, keep her laughing and talking.
Guy, your whole family's vibe stays positive.
It can be really tough in the moment, especially if she seems oblivious to your participation for some thigh-slapping fun.
But I think gritting your teeth and not being a victim is your best path to regular, fruitful, long-term marital relations.
Just my two cents.
I've been married for, well, 15 years, but I've known it for 20.
So I trump you on that.
Also, I remember you saying, you don't give a fuck if your wife comes.
What the fuck?
If you want to get forward of doing it regularly, wouldn't this be one of your primary concerns?
Not to rip on your sex strategy, but you might want to do some soul searching on this.
Sorry, kid.
You're 15 years younger than me, and you've been married for half the time I have.
We're not looking for tips.
They are coming at levels that you haven't even seen yet.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
Wife cheated.
Love the show.
Would you stay with your wife if she cheated on you?
Like you more than a friend.
That's a tough one.
That's obviously a deal breaker.
But now you've ruined the kid's life because your wife was a slut.
That's really why you're mad, besides obviously the infidelity and the betrayal, is that she's put you in this shitty situation where you ruin your kid's life or you're a fucking cuck victim forever.
She put you in that situation.
And she made it obvious enough that you found out so she didn't cover her tracks.
It's like a triple fuck you.
That's why it's every man's worst nightmare, right?
Besides like cancer, your kid ODing or something.
That's your biggest fear.
What if she let you get even and she was like, you know what?
Great.
Now we both have desecrated our marriage.
That's a good point.
How awesome.
Now you could be a piece of shit too.
Yeah, you're right.
All right, let's get to the final video.
Short up.
Don't worry.
I've got a three-part series coming tomorrow where I shit on Jon Stewart for three hours.
Check this out.
Magnetic slime robot.
What the?
Remember I said sewing machines should be destroyed because they're the work of the devil because they defy physics?
It's the same with...
What was the other thing?
Some other thing we said was evil.
Oh, it was a squid?
Oh, yeah.
Squids should be all murdered.
That's correct.
And then this thing.
Like, murder the person that invented this.
It's a slime robot.
So it's a piece of slime, but it can be used to retrieve stuff.
It can be remote controlled.
Press play, fuckhead.
Look, it's like a tongue that moves.
You could swallow it, and it'll take its time, but it'll go down your esophagus, and then it could maybe go grab like a little piece of wire you accidentally ate, pick that up, or it could seal two wires together.
How about that?
Make a little connection there.
You can cut it up in little pieces, and then it'll come back together and still...
This is like the fucking Terminator.
Yeah, T1000.
This is the T1000.
They've invented it.
Modit Christ de Godes.
Anyway, if you see one of these, smash it.
And if you catch the guy who invented it, murder him because he's clearly working with Satan.
That's voodoo shit.
And we don't tolerate that in this Christian society.
Sewing machines, squids, and whatever the fuck that is are not allowed In a civilized society, kill everyone involved and get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
Lothing else compares.
Oh, nothing else compares compares.
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