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March 14, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:26:34
S4E96 - FUCK YOU... I HATE YOU
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Time Text
got to say, ain't gonna play some sit down.
They're stabbing our brothers and our sisters in the back.
They are stabbing our brothers and our sisters in the back.
That was from 1985.
Artists United didn't carry a tune to save their lives.
Against apartheid 35 years ago.
Today, they released that song.
And apartheid was released from the world about 10 years later.
They stopped it.
A lot of people say that it was a race-based policy.
And I think that's misleading.
It was a Boer-based policy.
It was based.
And the premise was, this is a Boer territory.
It was nothing but tumbleweeds when we got here.
We built it up.
We made something.
We worked with the Zulus.
We worked against the Zulus.
The Zulus killed us.
We spoke Zulu.
You know, the first Bota, the first few leaders of South Africa spoke Zulu.
They worked with them.
They respected them and they negotiated deals and eventually ended up with all the land.
They said, okay, this is our land now.
Not whites.
They called them whites because that was the quickest way to say Boers.
But it's not like it was open to the Spanish and the Italians and the Germans and the Brits.
The Boers hated the British.
The British massacred them in 1800 and didn't just like fight fair.
They murdered their women and children, burned their homes to the ground.
It was a brutal genocide is what it was.
And the English ran South Africa after that war.
So the Boers took it back and they established a Boers-only territory in 1948.
And it was seen as racist because among the people that were not allowed in were blacks.
But I'd see it as more like a Hasidic Jewish community like Curious Joel or an Amish community.
You can't go move in with the Amish.
You can't go hang out there.
That's for them only.
Now, is that white?
Amish or white?
But the reason I bring all this up is something very exciting happened.
That was Steve Van Zandt who put that song together.
Syl from Sopranos.
This guy.
The guy's always, he's so sexy in everything he does.
Even in this video, he's like, ooh, apartheid is bad.
I'm going to fuck you.
Or remember when we thought that that Bruce Springsteen song says, making love like a pool boy?
And his glory days face.
In his glory.
In his eyes.
He's gay eyes.
See if you can pull that up.
He's so sexy.
Dude, you're bald.
You have a gypsy rag on your head to hide that you're bald.
We all know it.
Like, these Tim Pool, the Edge from U2, the drummer of Red Hot Chili Peppers with his funky hats.
Do you think we're retarded?
We know you're bald.
We don't care, by the way.
Go be bald.
When I was a kid in the 70s, bald was a thing.
It was fine.
Gavin McLeod was a great, normal, bald guy.
Look at him.
Ooh, where.
We've already done a whole thing on this.
And I apologize, by the way, for thinking he said, making love like a pool boy.
It's not what he says.
I think he says, like a fool, boy.
So anyway, very exciting.
Because something happened.
Oh, that doesn't look good.
You see the backs of the buttons.
So something has happened in South Africa since that time.
Part-time, yeah, bad.
Okay, I'll say it.
It's gravely misunderstood.
People don't understand the history of South Africa and how isolationist the Boers are.
But okay, bad thing.
Anything that is race-based as a policy is bad.
That's an integral part of American culture, right?
No identity politics.
The left is trying to swing us back there, but it's who we are.
If you think the West is the best, you're in, right?
That's our values.
But the pendulum has swung so far the other way, we now have apartheid again in reverse.
Now it is legal doctrine that whites cannot be hired above blacks.
Whites are second-class citizens, and there are hundreds of what they call squatter camps.
The South African media and the liberal media of America is in total and utter denial of this.
But it is race-based policy.
Whites are considered human garbage down there.
They are being picked off like tin cans at a BB gun contest.
And these camps where these squatters live, they're starving to death.
They are literally running out of food.
And it's been totally ignored, denied by the media.
And this is white genocide.
It's bizarre.
Not only are there squatter camps and whites forced into poverty, but they are being hunted and killed, the white farmers.
We saw this happen in Rhodesia.
Rhodesia used to be the breadbasket of Africa, generating all of the food for everyone.
Then they decided you stole this land.
I don't really know much about the history of Rhodesia.
I assume it's similar to South Africa.
And they were brutally massacred.
The argument that the left and the tribe...
South Africa is tribalist.
It's not black versus white.
It's like eight tribes.
Most of them are communist against the other, four tribes against four tribes, And one of those tribes is white.
But anyway, they decided that the whites and Rhodesia stole the land.
They murdered the farmers.
And they didn't just like shoot them and take their land.
It was macabre what they did.
They would boil children alive.
Now, how do you boil a child alive?
It's hard to get a, he's 10 years old.
It's hard to get a container that big.
This is hard to even talk about.
But they would put the child in a large sort of calendar, sort of like a tub.
Then they would go boil water on the stove and pour it on him.
Pour him and scald him to death in front of the parents who were tied up.
Often they would rape and murder all of the children and the wife and leave the father alive.
So he would later kill himself from grief.
So the argument from the left and the evil tribes of South Africa say, no, no, no, crime is much worse in the city.
There's only a few farmers that are killed.
Okay, interesting logic.
I guess, yeah, there's more people in the city, so there's more crime.
But what they neglect to mention is the sheer sadism of the attacks on the farmers.
They have their skin peeled off.
They're slowly beaten to death.
Old ladies pounded and pounded and pounded.
And they openly talk about shoot the ball.
Shoot to kill.
The leader of the EFF, Julian Malima.
Economic freedom fighters, they're called.
What the fuck?
They just want to take your money.
They're liberating you from your money.
That's what they do.
And your land.
And he openly talks about murdering whites.
The president is also an advocate.
Cyril Ramafusa is openly supporting this.
And they're catching these guys who are attacking these farmers.
They have ID cards, ANC ID cards or government ID cards.
Meaning they're soldiers.
And this is a war.
And it's not murder.
It's just killing the enemy.
And they also, you see footage of them.
Lauren Southern did a good documentary about this where, and so did Katie Hopkins.
Where you see them with these cell phone blockers.
They have these cell phone blockers in their...
Those are very hard to get.
And the government has tons of them.
The government is supplying these sadistic murderers with the tools to carry out their, so it's government-sanctioned murder.
Government-sanctioned.
So this is far worse than apartheid.
The pendulum has not just swung the other way, it's almost broken right off its hinges and gone flying across the room.
And the laws about guns are very, very strict.
And that should tell you everything you need to know about gun control.
Whites are prevented from being armed.
So all the guns that these farmers have are illegal.
They've set up their own networks.
They call each other and check on each other every day.
They have cameras on each other's property to monitor the land.
It's a brutal civil war that America has totally closed its eyes to because it's cool to sing songs when blacks are in trouble, but it's not cool to sing songs when whites are in trouble.
Until today.
That's right, folks.
Steve Van Zandt has reassembled the entire Artists United Against Apartheid.
He's reassembled them, and he's re-recorded the song.
That is exciting for me.
Is that not exciting?
It is.
So, we are going to debut this new song, which is called Sun City, same name, same everything.
But this time around, in 2002, this song is about the evil racism against the Watts.
I hope it is not poo-poo.
You might be saying, what gives you the rat to record a song about the Wats?
What gives me the rat is justice.
So, without further ado to do, let's debut this new hit song, Sun City, starring me.
We don't like what's going on.
What's not good for the killing of white people?
I gotta get a killer.
Relocation is not happening.
Doesn't want it no more.
We got the numbers.
Ain't gonna play some city.
Don't wanna play, don't wanna play.
Two truths, Bonnie Rait.
That's you.
Freedom for whites.
Look around the world, baby.
It cannot be denied.
Look around the world.
Oh, it's on the wrong side.
That's Junior.
I wish they would like mine.
I wish this is a time.
Bye, boo, Duswana is far away.
No, it's in South Africa.
No matter where they say.
No matter what they say.
Find me, I don't care what you think.
Don't ask me, Sunset Reed.
Cause I ain't gonna care.
I gotta say hi.
Ain't gonna play Sun Sit down.
Bob is D. Ain't gonna play Sunset Dead.
Lou Reed, everyone is back.
How did they get Lou Reed?
He's dead.
I guess it's CGI.
Midnight Oil, dude.
He's back.
Isn't it cool to see all these artists black and white unite?
Bottom!
All of these artists getting together to fight against racism again.
And if the pendulum goes the other way, we'll all be back again.
Because this is wrong.
And everyone recognizes that.
Even famous celebrity rock stars.
Thank you guys.
There's Reynolds Garr.
Fighting for the rights of white South Africans to be fighting for white farmers.
Look at that guy with his little tongo drum.
Fucking bongos slapping away.
The fat boys are there.
Look at all these artists.
Peter Gabriel.
Some chick.
Keep forgetting the sit.
Ain't gonna play some sit there.
Na-na-na-ga.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We were attacked.
I was shot through the back and my wife.
Unfortunately, she was killed.
To them, they killed the man to us.
They took everything.
He was the father of my children.
He never got to meet his uncle.
Shift.
Shift.
Feeling.
Christophe.
The family.
It's inconceivable that anyone would be doing anything for the whites of South Africa because white people aren't cool and ethnic cleansing, which is what is going on in South Africa today.
And I see the enthusiasm from those artists for the blacks of South Africa.
And I think, fuck you.
Oh, there he is.
Julian.
I thought this was a good song, but the images were incorrect.
The images we just showed in the video?
CGI.
No, those are all well documented.
I mean, you can look up the farmers by individual name and see all of the horrific, unimaginably sadistic stories.
Maybe they sleeped in it.
You don't have your face cut off when you slip and fall.
You're not dismembered.
Depends what type of flow you have.
They nailed an old lady's feet to the ground and raped her.
It's a gardening accident.
In the house?
Yes.
you just see a random shot with a hunter's photo.
He was describing his son's death.
His son was murdered in front of him.
Kind of a heavy way to start the show, folks.
Yes.
Let's lighten things up here.
Well, I guess we're done with discussing racism for today.
We'll start the show.
Well, no, we're not starting the show.
Goodbye, Trump.
I still want to do the light stuff.
True.
I need a palate cleanser.
I feel a little...
I feel angry.
I feel angry.
Because the relentless pandering from the left towards the allegedly oppressed minorities is just never ending.
And it's been going on for a while.
They loved apartheid, in a sense, because it had clear white villains.
And now that the victims are white.
You know, Trevor Noah, when he first started doing the daily show, he would joke about Africa.
And there's plenty of laughs there.
I mean, Mugabe, the head of Zimbabwe, post-Rhodesia Zimbabwe, he gave the whole country to his secretary because she was good at blowjobs.
For his dinner, for his 90th birthday party, he had like 400-year-old turtle.
He had lion.
He had all of these endangered species, leopards, pumas, all laid out on the table for him.
Not because they're yummy.
I'm guessing lion meat is not good.
Was that Trevor Noah with Julian Malima?
Yes.
Wow.
Wow.
Interesting, huh?
Can you imagine if the races were reversed?
Imagine there was a song.
At no time during apartheid were politicians singing shoot the black, shoot to kill, with hundreds of white people dancing.
I don't know if he, I think maybe he said something negative towards Julius Malima and Malima was like, he does not know me.
So I don't know if they got along forever.
But he likes, now Trevor Noah just got in trouble recently for liking Trump.
Yeah.
He said, I think he was trying to make Trump look like a psycho shithead.
And he said, back when Trump was president, I don't know why I'm making that.
When Trump was president, he had some, like, he would pick up the call no matter what.
Yeah, he's got this doodly dooty-dooty doo voice.
You better believe that he was hot fire.
Oh, he's always talking.
He's so unqualified.
You know who you should get mad at when you see Trevor Noah?
Broads.
Women were running Comedy Central.
They said, we want an international voice to replace John Goldberg Finkelstein, what his name was, Jon Stewart.
And Lipschwitz, I think Jon Stewart's real name is.
And so they just said, who are the top international comedians?
And they go, there aren't any, really.
Comedy is mostly American.
Stand-up is American thing.
There's some good Brits.
Yeah, but they're white.
Who's the top?
Okay, there's this loser named Trevor Noah.
He's done like, I think, one comedy special at best.
Put him at the front.
So affirmative action.
And everything woke turns to shit.
He's the least funny guy ever.
But even a clock is right twice a day.
And he said, Trump, I think he was trying to be insulting, but he said, Trump is so psychotic and cruel and unhinged that all the world leaders were scared of him.
Is that supposed to be an insult?
Yeah, good.
We're going for that.
You don't rule with the spoken word.
You rule with force.
And America rules the world.
Sorry.
So the way you dominate the world as the world's leading power is to scare the shit out of people.
Have you got the clip?
I'm looking on...
I couldn't find it on YouTube.
Trevor Noah, Donald Trump.
But it's on Pesobic's timeline.
But that's exactly what I thought when we went to war with Russia.
I thought, never happened in the States.
No, never happened under Trump.
And yeah, Putin was probably scared of him.
And I don't think it was a respectful scare, like, I don't want to hurt Trump's feelings.
I think it was, Trump is psychotic.
He's totally unpredictable.
He's a wild card.
And I'm scared he'll just blow up Moscow for no reason and maybe even risk a world war.
Yeah.
That's why we like him.
Like my favorite trick, I tell liberals, I say, I don't like the guy.
I don't want him over for dinner.
I like his policies.
I hate him.
I hate his mean tweets.
I hate his typos.
I think he's a fucking asshole.
But I want him as a world leader.
Now that's a lie.
I know I say you should never lie.
You can lie to liberals.
All is fair in love and war.
And I'm lying to liberals when I said I'd fucking kill my firstborn to get, to have Trump over for dinner.
Just kidding, honey.
I would never kill you.
I love the guy.
But you have to brainwash liberals because they're retarded.
And it's like deprogramming a Scientologist.
So you have to say, look, I hate the guy, but he's a good world leader.
And then they go, oh, good.
It's strange how much more, what's the word, amicable, they become when they find out you don't worship him.
Fuck you.
Oh, yeah.
Trevor Noah was mocking Biden because Saudi Arabia won't pick up the phone.
Because he wants the Arabs to produce more oil.
And as Ezra Levant says, why are we bending over backwards for homophobic sexist oil from corrupt shitheads when we have our own?
We should have ethical oil.
That's, again, he's speaking in liberal terms.
There is no denying that Saudi Arabia isn't playing ball with Joe Biden.
And you know what?
You can say what you want, but this would have never happened to Donald Trump.
Never.
No one was ever ignoring Donald Trump's calls.
Yeah, because if you ignored Donald Trump's calls, you didn't know how he would respond.
Maybe he'd send an angry tweet, or maybe he'd just like ban your country from everything.
You don't know.
That's why I bet in these situations, Biden actually wishes that he could hire Trump to step in as president wildcard.
You know, just keep everyone on their toes.
Because if Trump was calling, you best believe the UAE.
They'll be racing to pick up the phone.
Oh, Mr. Trump!
Mr. Trump, we're here!
We're here!
Hello!
Julie, Ah, Med!
You made me wake two rings.
We're bombing the UAE and the UFC.
Thanks for the help up top with the digital symbols.
Nice productions, nice audience.
Yeah, thanks for showing me a picture of Trump while you do your Trump impersonation.
That's usually a bad sign.
You know what's strange?
When you did that Julian face, I was worried that it was racist.
I am not a person of color.
I'm so brainwashed to be scared of racism that when I see a African, no, not an American, an African African with distinct features, I worry.
Like there's a thing in my back and my brainstem that goes, uh-oh.
Like that's offensive.
There's literally a page on like Instagram that my wife was like, is this kind of racist?
And it's just like showing happy white families and it's like restoring.
That's in my DNA.
I'm like, but honey, why is that racist?
She's like, it's not, but the text is aggressive?
I don't know.
No, that's how cucked we are as a nation, as white people.
Because I feel it too.
I'm just as brainwashed as everyone else.
So I see that picture and I'm like, ugh, that's a little.
And you're like, yikes, guys.
Whoa, whoa.
It's basically a clan round.
Take it easy, guys.
Yeah.
Take it easy, happy family.
White people existing with smiles?
Whoa, whoa.
Isn't that a little aggressive, standing your ground?
Isn't the word tradition a little imperialistic?
Don't you think that's something you should be ashamed of, being white and happy and in a family?
Shouldn't we shoot the boar?
I'm going to pose with someone who said, shoot the boy.
Shoot the kill?
Well, I was at Cinéma La Mour in Montreal, and there was a guy.
It's a porn theater.
I was just checking it out.
I actually offered to work there as a janitor because I assume you have to mop up jizz and I assumed it would be like $200 an hour, right?
And they go, yeah, we could start next week.
And I go, how much does it pay?
And they go, five bucks.
That was the minimum wage back then was $5 an hour.
It's minimum wage to mop up jizz?
I assumed as a punk, like I would be doing the grossest job in the world and getting super rich.
Like if you work with biohazard or you clean up dead bodies, that's probably 200 bucks an hour.
Nope.
Anyway, there was this black dude who worked there and he had, he was very black, almost as black as my jacket.
He had white gloves on because they wanted to appear like old-fashioned.
So he had on like the old-timey theater guy, you know, with like the gold buttons.
He had that on with white gloves, a little hat, like a monkey hat, with a doot, doot, diddle-dee-de-ling-ding-ding-ding.
It was an organ grinder.
He had an organ grinder outfit on with white gloves.
He had bright white teeth, white eyes, and huge red lips.
My lord.
And I felt compelled.
I didn't do this, but part of my brain was like to walk over to him and be like, buddy, buddy.
Let's take it down the notch, please.
That's kind of racist.
What are you talking?
Well, he's probably Haitian.
What are you talking?
This is my face.
Like, or doormen, too?
I'm so brainwashed, I'm offended by a black man.
His face seems like a caricature.
And I felt it again with you and doing Julian Malima.
Well, like, an Uber driver, like, picks up your luggage to put it in the trunk.
You're like, nah, nah, I got it.
I got it.
But a white guy does it.
You're like, thanks, dude.
Well, how about the time I tipped a guy a banana for shining my shoes?
That was bad.
Everyone remembers that story, right?
I didn't have enough change after he shined my shoes at the Chicago airport.
So I had to buy something to break my 20.
And the cheapest thing there was a banana.
So I bought a banana for like a dollar.
It broke my 20.
I paid him.
And then I don't want a banana.
Who eats bananas after the age of five?
So I was like, do you want this?
And then I realized, holy shit, I'm tipping a black man a banana for shining my shoes.
That was a Duke and slip.
Like that.
We have to de-brainwash ourselves.
We're so deeply cocked, white people.
We're so ashamed of ourselves.
I feel it too on a daily basis.
And every time I get an accusation, my instinct should be, fuck you.
But it isn't.
My instinct is, and I have to fight this.
We all do, is, no, no, no, that's not what happened.
No, let me show you.
Here, let me explain.
You got it all wrong.
Fuck you.
I hate you.
That maybe should be the name of this show.
I was thinking of Sun City, but fuck you.
I hate you.
Look at the response to this comment.
What's going to happen in the future?
I'm saying to you, we've not called for the killing of white people, at least for now.
I can't guarantee the future.
Yeah, but I mean, you'd understand somebody watching that, especially as it gets shared on Twitter, they freak out.
It sounds like a genocidal act.
It is.
Could you imagine a response like that where he's smiling?
He's like, you know how that might come off?
What, like, how it came off?
Why don't you tell him to fuck off, too?
Why are you pandering him?
They would never, imagine a white guy had a song called Shoot the Blacks, and you had a black journalist saying, you can see how that might be misconstrued.
And what's really telling about this clip is his arrogance.
He has zero shame.
He's very proud that people are taking it that way.
Cry, babies.
Cry, babies.
I'm not calling for the slaughter of white people, at least for now.
I can't give you a guarantee of the future, especially when things are going the way they are.
It's going the way they are.
Subtext.
There's no subtext.
It's text text.
It's super text.
It's text.
There will be a revolution in this country, I can tell you now.
There will be an allied revolution.
An alleged revolution is the highest form of anarchy.
Okay.
Who was the guy who couldn't say the word absolutely?
Was that Julian?
I think it was a Nigerian sports guy.
I mean, a newscaster, Nigerian.
Was it?
It was like 3 trillion billion or something.
Not that Biden can speak English either.
Beginning.
Bining.
Oh, yeah.
He couldn't say in the beginning.
In the beginninging.
In the beginning.
In the beginninging.
Yeah.
You should rule it.
We're just making fun of a guy with what do you call it?
When you get dyslexia.
By the way, that, okay, play 3-3 for a second.
Let's just remind everyone how incompetent Kamala Harris is and how she can't talk.
Because we can make fun of Africans all day, and we can pretend that we aren't equally corrupt and inept.
But although we're not calling for the murder of anyone, actually, we kind of are.
I mean, Facebook said it's okay to do death threats if it's someone like Gavin McInnis or Laura Loomer or Alex Jones.
You know, they suspect.
And now they say you can have hate speech if it's Russia.
Right.
Right.
So we're not that far from shoot the board.
But just, this is from last week, but just I want to remind you before I show you this next clip, how retarded our vice president is.
That's why we're here today.
Because we have the ability to see what can be, unburdened by what has been, and then to make the possible actually happen.
I don't know what the that was.
Women are in fact demented.
Women are in fact demented.
I believe that.
But it's not just, it's not women in their natural state.
We've removed women from their natural state.
We've denied them the right to have children.
And we've said, why don't you just become a shitty man and get involved in politics?
And they have that, women have this mama bear in them where if they feel threatened, they will kill.
And it's a good instinct to have.
It's their inner cunt.
And I want women to have an inner cunt because I want children to be protected.
Now, they don't have the same upper body strength as us.
So they have to be more malicious and evil and play dirty.
Good.
This is all great news.
Good design, big guy.
However, when they're not protecting their kin, now they're protecting Biden, masks, whatever narrative they're fed.
And women are very agreeable, so they can be fed any narrative.
So now you have women unleashing their inner cunt on a variety of ridiculous causes.
A fucking woman, boss.
That includes defending Kamala Harris and calling it racist.
So here are women getting involved in politics.
So 3-2, this woman on The View notices, a sane woman notices that Kamala Harris is retarded.
And then the other agreeable tribeswoman has to make it all about race, which is amazing.
Yeah.
And I don't know that it's about her laughing, because I agree.
I think that would be very inappropriate and that that's something that they do to women.
I think that she has gone on multiple occasions a little bit underprepared with some of the questions that she's been asked.
Mr. Holt asked her a pretty basic question that she couldn't answer.
So I don't know if it's a staff thing.
She's not prepared enough.
Perhaps she's not expecting the questions.
I don't know what it is, but I think that's the issue.
This is like the fourth or fifth time.
What it is, is that they constantly question the qualifications of black women, and that's why people are saying that she's unprepared.
Oh, I disagree.
I think she's a pretty popular.
You can disagree, but that's the truth of it.
And so this is based in racism.
This is based in misogyny.
And we're talking about a woman that...
Isn't that interesting that she doesn't look at her?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can disagree, but that's a fact.
And it's based in misogyny.
It's an interesting, healthy debate.
You can disagree, but I'm saying a fact.
You know, it'd be awesome if she stood up and flipped the table.
She's like, are you calling me a fucking racist?
Are you fucking like she should have flipped?
She should have said, fuck you.
Yeah.
I hate you.
Like, how do you let that go?
She just called you a racist and a misogynist, and you're a woman.
Yeah.
Weird.
This is based in racism.
This is based in misogyny.
And we're talking about a woman that has extensive experience abroad, extensive experience as an attorney, expensive.
What's her extensive experience abroad?
Being abroad, maybe?
Yeah.
Experience as a she's never been abroad.
She lived in Montreal during her high school years where her personality was formed, her white personality, Kamala Harris's white attorney, extensive experience as the chief legal officer of one of our largest states in the country.
And I think this is just much ado about nothing.
I mean, we didn't talk about Vice President Pence's, the right didn't talk about his handling of the COVID epidemic, which I think, or the AIDS epidemic, which I think led to.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Mike Pence's handling of the AIDS epidemic?
Was he involved in AIDS?
And we relentlessly mock vice presidents when they're retarded, like Joe Biden when he was vice president under Obama.
And you know who would make fun of him?
A guy named Barack Obama.
Remember he talked about Bidenisms and said there's nothing that Joe Biden can't screw up?
And they all rolled their eyes at what a stupid loser he was.
And the right did attack Mike Pence.
In fact, they brought a guillotine to the Capitol on January 6th to metaphorically, you morons, behead him.
So you're an imbecile.
Don't underestimate Joe's ability to fuck things up.
It's racism and misogyny.
Yeah.
They never criticized Joe Biden.
And what they're talking about is her laugh.
She was there as an emissary, really, and she wanted to reassure the NATO allies that as Russia steps up its attacks on Ukraine, that the United States was going to be supportive.
In fact, she said, she didn't say that.
She said, a friend in need is a friend indeed.
Okay?
That doesn't tell us anything.
Are you a friend?
You haven't committed to anything.
And then you giggled.
But, my dear, I forget what this woman's name is.
I looked her up.
She's like, her job is racism.
Sonny Hostin.
Yeah.
She's like, everything is racial.
So we don't really talk about the laughs that much.
Some do.
Some find it annoying.
It's not really, what we focus on is that she cannot speak English.
And we can predict her speeches because they're always, what we're doing Is what we always have been doing, and that's what we will be doing, which is doing what we do.
That's ridiculous.
She speaks in a magical language.
Don't focus on the laughter.
We're not.
We've got plenty.
It's like when people would call you racist for criticizing Barack Obama.
You'd go, the black thing, I'll get to that.
That's number 876.
I got a lot of shit to get to before I resort to something as meaningless as his race.
He's not even black.
Her laugh becomes really bad.
A Hawaiian woman is what he is.
Her laugh becomes really bad when it's about the refugees.
The hearts are bleeding for Ukraine.
President Duda, I wanted to know if you think and if you asked the United States to specifically accept more refugees.
Okay.
A friend in need is a friend in need.
I come first.
Okay, so this time.
And who else is laughing like when she laughs?
She laughs her head off.
But it's again, it's not a focus.
All right, let's drop the...
Oh, but let's let her finish.
Now we get what she's saying.
But to get back to chicks, so I just called Obama a woman.
He's a fat Hawaiian woman.
He's his mother.
There's nothing male or black about him.
He doesn't play basketball.
He doesn't smoke Newports.
He doesn't know what you order with chicken at the bodega.
He can't name more than three rap songs.
Not that that defines African-American culture, but there's certain little litmus tests you can do.
Sean King is way more black than Barack Obama.
But I also think Pete Davidson is a woman.
Because here he is, he grew up with a single mom, right?
His dad died 9-11.
Here he is talking to Kanye West, who we're on Kanye's side, by the way.
Yeah.
Yes, he's acting erratic.
Go have Pete Davidson not just fuck your wife and hang around your kids all day, but let's include you being denied your children and let's make this fornication a global event where you have to look at it on a daily basis.
As I've always said, people ask me if I'd get along with my wife's new husband if we got divorced.
And I always say, why be friends with two people at the bottom of the East River?
So what's happening here?
Yo, it's Skeet.
Can you please, now, this hasn't been verified, but it's 99% sure it's real.
Yo, Skeet, can you please take a second and calm down?
It's 9 a.m.
And I don't got to be like this.
Kim is literally the best mother I've ever met.
What she does for these kids is amazing.
And you are so fucking lucky that she's your kid's mom.
Missing some apostrophes there.
I've decided I'm not going to let you treat us this way anymore.
And I'm done being quiet.
Grow the fuck up.
Oh, you're using profanity?
Where you at right now?
In bed with your wife.
Happy to see you're out of the hospital.
And we have...
These are not good comebacks for Kanye.
But, you know, off the cuff when someone's fucking your wife, not easy.
Same here.
It's wonders what these places do when you go get help.
You should try it.
I'm in LA for the day if you want to stop being a little internet bitch boy or maybe fuck boy and talk.
Yeah.
He doesn't want to talk, dude.
I don't want to talk either.
Maybe he wants to, I don't know, fight or something.
Well, why didn't you say that?
Well, it's like implied.
Here's what I think, Pete.
I think you might be a bitch.
Because that's a very bitch woman-like thing to do.
Send a picture of you in bed, in your wife's bed, which I assume he slept in.
Kanye's probably laid in that exact spot.
Yeah, probably.
I mean, we wash the sheets and stuff, or like the maids do, but I don't know.
I kind of like sending pictures to like the guys, you know?
Yeah.
I'm glad you went there.
Why?
Because there was a rumor that Mac Miller killed himself, OD'd himself, after you sent him a picture because Mac Miller was flirting with, what's her name again?
Miley Cyrus, Alicia Keys.
Ariana Grande.
Ariana Grande.
He was trying to get her back.
That pissed you off.
And because you're not a man, because you're a bitch, you sent a picture of you like fucking her or her nude or whatever with jizz on her face.
Who knows?
I would happily clean that up for 200 bucks, by the way.
And he was so despondent after seeing that photograph that he went the way of the heroin pill.
Hold on, one second.
What, you're taking a picture of you?
Of you and me.
Julia Jessica's like obsessed with you, and I figured she'd probably kill herself if she saw us together.
So now I'm starting to believe the Mac Miller rumor.
Yeah, it's true.
Also in light news, I saw a blacklist last night.
Actually, I didn't finish it because I started drinking whiskey on Sunday.
Wasn't great.
You learned about that loophole thing.
It's not even a loophole.
Well, I put it on my social media.
I'm on Getter, Gab, and Telegram now.
And I put it on social media.
I said, am I allowed to, I quit whiskey for Lent.
Am I allowed to?
And the most compelling argument was, Lent is 46 days.
It's only 40 days if you take off Sundays, the day of the feast.
Oh, right, right.
So go Benenes.
Yeah, it says you can abstain from abstaining, basically.
Yeah.
It's a day to celebrate.
I had White Castle on Sunday.
Can I just tell everyone how retarded you are?
Ryan says that he has to quit fast food, I guess, because he wants to be more ripped.
But he'll go to Pizza Hut because it takes 20 minutes to make the pizza, and that's not fast.
Papa John's.
So he's taking the word fast food literally.
So what if McDonald's, what if it took them an hour to make you a Big Mac?
Is that fast food?
No, because they're consistently fast.
Now, Shake Shack, I also ate it last Sunday, but that's because I wasn't sure about this rule.
But Shake Shack is like, it's like getting a burger at a tavern or something.
It's just not fast food.
And it can take a long.
I've waited at the one at Grand Central.
I've waited half an hour.
Yeah.
So that's not fast food?
No, it's fine, casual.
I mean, I'm not saying they treat their employees like.
They buy $800 shoes, and then you get in trouble for spending $5 at Taco Battle.
I used to.
I used to.
You assume the customers are experts, and they're right.
So, yeah, I just, I drank three.
I hadn't had any in a week.
And I'm just like, not drunk, not drunk, not drunk.
Great buzz for 20 minutes, and then unbelievably tired.
I go to bed, wet the bed.
Wow.
Wake up.
It takes two.
I have it down to an art form now, by the way.
You lay a towel down.
It absorbs 40%.
Throw that towel under the bed.
Lay another towel down.
It absorbs the remaining, maybe another 50%.
You're down to 10%.
Not bad.
What's that, Mark?
I got my ashes?
Holy shit.
Whoa, weird.
These fucking gloves.
Wow.
These gloves suck.
You're going to just slowly do blackface.
Just having an itchy face.
Hamme, hami, ho.
Hada, howda, ada, ha!
And then all the black comes off the gloves, they become white.
I can't wait.
Hardworking man.
Do you ever drive a truck so much that you get fucking racist?
No, I think you're standing in front of the exhaust pipe.
You're not supposed to do that.
Hi, I work at the coal plant that makes the electricity for your Tesla.
Please stop buying electric cars.
I'm getting black lung.
I can't breathe.
My dad died at 29.
I'm getting black face.
My grandfather died at 18.
We can't keep providing all of the lithium batteries for you fuckers.
Well, that's embarrassing.
Any word from Crip Daddy?
Let me check.
While you check that.
Oh, hey, fuck, I'm sorry.
I keep falling asleep because my brother got me sick and I'm not even out of bed.
Oh, frick.
So what does that mean?
I'm sorry I didn't get your caller.
I'm sorry I missed it.
I can't do it.
Just give him a message.
I texted him, yeah.
Maybe don't buy your driving gloves from Amazon.
I seemed very insensitive right there, but he said he was sick and falling asleep.
And I said any chance he could make it still.
You should say don't care.
Because you don't.
Be honest.
Well, I do.
I don't want him to be sick.
I'm just coming with you.
Oh, by the way, we're trying to...
God, there's so much shit to talk about today, and we're not even scratching the surface.
Joe Biggs, we're trying to raise 80K to take this court to the Supreme, take this case to the Supreme Court.
So we should put up his give, send, go.
Make that a lower third.
I don't think we're going to raise 80K from censored.tv, but my goal is five.
We'll make the call-ins on Thursday night all for Joe Biggs.
Yeah.
We'll be received by Jeffrey Hansen.
So we're up to Gives and Go is reliable.
You're not going to get doxxed.
They're not going to steal it.
They're not going to take it away.
I don't think people understand how expensive court is.
80 grand is basically the lawyer doing it for free.
Full price, normal price, you're looking at at least half a million for a court case, which is a major problem with our system, by the way.
I think it should be like $10,000 to go to court.
And another strange thing about court is, isn't it weird how 95% of the cases are convictions?
They have a 95% conviction rate.
Shouldn't it be 50?
Well, no, because everyone takes a plea.
Well, then they're not taking pleas because they think it's a good deal.
They're taking pleas because they know they're going to get prosecuted if they take it to court.
You have to be beyond innocent to be found innocent these days.
Also, not in the news.
Did you want to cover that movie?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
So here's what's kind of cool about it.
This AOC type of character at the beginning gets killed.
Wait, stop.
There's too much going on here.
But you can't really tell if she's a patriot like a Sarah Palin type.
So that's kind of cool that they were ambiguous.
Now, the very, very beginning is an agent who's embedded with racists.
And there's a massive trailer park of guys who look like me, but with, I was going to say, but with beards, but with long hair.
They're rednecks, and they're all racist, and there's Confederate flags everywhere.
Super corny, not a realistic thing.
But as I said a couple weeks ago, with modern movies, you have to give them a few woke passes.
But what's cool about this movie is Liam Neeson plays a guy, he's like a cleanup crew.
So if an agent is under duress or is losing his mind or is lost or has been captured, Liam Neeson shows up and rescues the agent.
He's like an FBI guardian angel.
But he starts discovering that the FBI is corrupt.
Pretty cool angle, no?
I was pretty happy with that.
Which, by the way, brings us to the meandering.
And go to 2.6.
Kidding?
I believe we have a meandering intro.
We don't want that, though, right?
Nah.
Okay.
So anyway, I think it's...
I didn't see the last 15 minutes because I had to go bedwetting.
But it's not woke, despite the Nazis at the beginning.
He pisses his pants, too.
Who does?
Liam Neeson?
You didn't know that?
There's tons of pictures of him with his pissed pants.
Hmm.
P-pants.
My kind of guy.
It's like, so that story of you pissing your pants watching the movie, he'd be proud of you.
Yeah.
Look at all the...
Tons of pictures of him.
If you piss your pants, you run home.
Not Liam Neeson.
You don't just like keep hanging out.
Like, it's an emergency.
It's about 5% better than shitting your pants.
You know what I mean?
It's a big deal.
I peed my pants and find any black bastard I could find.
I have a certain set of spills.
Down me leg, in me shoe.
No matter how you shake your peg, the last weed drop runs down your leg.
That's right.
I do have that, though, sometimes.
Like today, when we were looking at the Sun City thing, I was holding it, holding it, holding it, and I'm not strong enough.
It's like doing 60 push-ups.
After like 28, I start going, I can't do these anymore.
A true failure when you can't even conceive of being shot.
I'm going to hold my piss in.
And a drop came out into my drawers.
Oh, so here's a lot of fishy shit implying that the FBI and Liam Neeson is right.
They're corrupt.
And by the way, we don't definitively say January 6th was an inside job.
We don't definitively say that the election was stolen.
We present evidence and we go, something real fishy is going on.
And our big beef on this show is, why isn't anyone asking questions?
That's what we want to know.
Yes.
She collapsed.
I believe in four minutes she was underneath, not breathing.
What happened, sir?
A lady died in front of me.
I tracked the black carried on down the steps.
She fainted and she was crushed by six people.
Out here?
Throwing in the window.
Did they bring a good thing?
Did she go inside?
She was purple by the time they got her.
Oh, my God.
I remember her.
What was her name again?
Oh, man, I forgot.
Not Ashley Babbitt, but the other woman who was killed.
I think it was Sandy or something.
And Biden sits there saying there was five cops killed that day.
No, there was two deaths that day, and it was two women.
We should be talking about this for Women's Day.
And they were both on our side.
And John Sullivan, who's Antifa, was there.
He facilitated Ashley Babbitt's death.
I think he broke the window, but he definitely said, go, go, go, to her and motioned for her to get through the window.
Her adrenaline was going through the roof.
Adrenaline control.
Women should not be at these things.
She went through the window.
She was not warned, despite what the cop said.
And just like the, can you imagine if the races were reversed, instead of the George Floyd treatment, he's treated as a hero.
He does a whole press tour and says, I saved a lot of lives that day.
No, you killed a woman.
The end.
You didn't save shit.
Stophate.com.
They've got all the updates for that stuff.
Met them at FPAC.
Great guys.
Yeah, good guy.
I know him too.
2-7.
This is the Project Veritas Expose.
So, yeah, Joe Biggs did nothing wrong.
They say he pissed all over it.
No, he went and used the bathroom.
He stayed within the velvet ropes.
This guy's been in solitary confinement for over a year.
And the rationale is we can't let him out because he's so powerful.
He's so charming.
He's so Shea Guevara that if we let him out, he'll start a prison riot and everyone will die.
I'm not kidding.
That's their rationale for putting him in the hole.
So he's been stuck in there.
For what?
What he did was wrong.
He shouldn't have gone into that building.
He should be punished with 10 hours of community service and a $400 fine.
That should be Joe Biggs' punishment.
The punishment does not fit the crime.
We are not living in a just society.
Exactly, Norm.
He mysteriously died after that tweet.
That's true.
Yes.
So this is pretty long.
You can look it up yourself.
Show the source, Ryan.
Tucker Carlson was criticized for debunked conspiracy theories.
I hate when people say conspiracy theory, like it's a bad thing.
A theory is good to have.
It means you're thinking about stuff.
And people regularly conspire.
So it is healthy, intelligent, wise to talk about conspiracies.
Quote, Mr. Carlson has emerged as a leading proponent of January 6th revisionism.
Catch that revisionism.
Most prominently with his three-part Patriot Purge series.
Carried in the Fox Nation streaming service, it amplifies a debunked false flag conspiracy theory that the FBI had instigated the violence as a pretext to lock away peaceful but concerned Americans because of their political views, creating a class of Patriot martyrs.
On Thursday night, Carlson aired excerpts from Patriot Purge on this primetime show, spreading these conspiracy theories to one of the largest audiences on cable.
Mr. Carlson's relentless promotion of this series and the ensuing silence from Fox News management recently prompted two longtime conservative contributors at the network to quit in Project.
Okay, so skip ahead to the Project Veritas.
So that's Matthew Rosenberg saying that it's been debunked that the FBI was involved.
That's losers.
It's strange that Fox News even allows him on.
And then Matthew Rosenberg gets presented a piece of pussy.
And I know this woman.
Her ass is abnormally perfect.
It looks like two bowling balls who are best friends.
However, if you have any character and strength as a human being, if what your words, if what you say means anything to you, then you don't completely do a 180 the second pussy is in the room.
So either this guy is a liar or he's a liar.
Neither are very good, Matthew.
Are you allowed to have that much fun on January 6 morning?
Is that really the vibe?
It's not the kind of place you can sit touching a man up, but I kind of want you if you like to.
Come on.
Tucker Carlson is a liar for thinking that the meandering was no big deal.
Hey, here's some pussy.
The meandering was no big deal.
There were a ton of FBI informants among the people who attacked the Capitol.
Whoops.
So that's Tucker noting that hypocrisy.
So anyway, what can you do about this?
Donate to Give Send Go, Joe Biggs' campaign.
I'll be putting my personal money in there.
And I think we can raise 5K this week.
I really do.
Now, what he really needs is a gazillionaire who's just going to write a check.
And Kazillionaires don't like Give, Send, Go.
They don't like being seen.
They don't like even the there's zero risk you're going to get doxed, but they don't even like zero risk.
So 5K will get us closer, but it's not a gazillionaire.
So if you were faced with a perfect ass, you wouldn't change your convictions at all.
Like, how do you feel about January 6th?
I think it was a meandering.
I don't think it was.
It was assholes who wanted to take over the government.
They should be executed.
It was an insurrection.
It was evil.
I don't think that a year in solitary is enough.
I think they should get life and whoa.
What happened there?
That was weird.
Because you didn't think that it was a treasonous act to just show your patriotism.
It wasn't a treasonous act.
It wasn't an insurrection.
It was vandalism and trespassing.
And at the worst.
That's it.
But they put the country in jeopardy and they tried to prevent the election from going through.
Now, what's the punishment for treason?
It's the electric chair.
I mean, it's, whoa.
It's like, what the fuck?
The electric chair is pretty intense for...
I don't want them to get the electric chair.
That's too much.
They should be free to go.
This has already been way too.
They should die.
Do not donate to Joe Biggs.
If anything, we should be taking money away from him.
He deserves to rot in hell.
Damn.
And what the fuck?
No.
No, no, no.
It's a problem.
Joe Biggs is innocent.
He went to the bathroom.
He didn't even break anything.
None of this was pre-planned.
All of the Telegram chats that have been released, you look them up, and they're all just like, fuck the system.
Yeah, it's Super Bowl talk.
There is zero.
They are traitors.
They need to die.
If you love this country, you should hate everyone who is at January 6th.
And they should be, oh, okay, that's it.
I'm a Muslim.
We need burqas.
Those things that you just showed, they change a man.
It's James O'Keefe's secret weapon is Project Verit ass.
All right.
Well, I guess we're not going to cover much of some serious news.
I guess we'll do that tomorrow.
But let's get through the stupid shit.
So, Crip Daddy's gone.
Let's see.
You did not get back to me since.
I'm shed.
Okay, well, this is what I wanted to go through with Crip Daddy.
This was big last week, but I don't see you guys on Fridays.
Did everyone like that movie, Gavin McInnis is a fucking asshole?
I thought it was a documentary.
A lot of gaff.
You really got to be hungry for the G to make it through that.
I played it at a film festival once, and I did stand-up first, and then I put it on.
I was like, Jesus Christ, this is an embarrassing level of megalomania to play this at a show.
Then I've always been looking for stuff on background stuff for people, and it's never in one place, and you're just rabbit holing.
So it's kind of like an instant rabbit hole.
If you want a rabbit hole, just fucking press play.
You're an instant blurry hole.
Okay, let's show this clip.
This is that she calls herself a model.
And bad news.
A model is someone where it's conceivable they'd be in vogue.
I don't mean in fashion.
I mean in the magazine.
It's conceivable that you'd be in a Calvin Klein ad or a prod or a Gucci ad.
Is that possible?
Have you been photographed by Jürgen Teller or Terry Richardson or whoever the modern equivalent is?
I'm a little out of date with my references.
No?
What are you a model for?
Oh, I'm on Instagram.
I'm an Instagram model.
I'm on Instagram and I'm banned.
Like if your picture is on Instagram, that's the same as your picture being on Facebook.
You're not a model.
So this is Tess, what's her name?
Tess Holiday.
And she's struggling with obesity, overeating?
No, undereating.
She has anorexia.
How is it affecting your day-to-day, both professionally and personally, because you're dealing with this?
It's not a secret.
They notice it, but it's not diagnosed.
And the problem is layered, but it's not.
If you were fucking Tamron Hall from behind, you would look down and see a dude.
I don't want that.
No.
Ladies, you cannot have short hair, especially if you have a somewhat masculine build.
Then you look like a 13-year-old boy.
Talk about pulling you out of it.
It's fine, I guess, when we're fucking you in missionary style, but that girl from behind is a young Mexican boy named Hector.
I'd rather fuck Tammany Hall, which is a building.
Yeah.
Bricks.
I thought she called her show Tamron Hall as a tip of the hat to Tammany Hall, like a pun.
But Tammany Hall's like the, it's used as a metaphor for corruption.
Remember Boss Tweed?
Thangs in New York?
But it's her name, Tamron Hall.
Okay, go ahead.
It's not been named.
It was extremely hard, but I had normalized it so much.
Like you said earlier, when you have so many people saying things to you online, I'm tough as nails, but it gets to you.
And you kind of like to be honest.
So hold on.
She's a gigantic fat pig.
She puts herself on social media and then people probably go, hey, you're fat.
What did you think was going to happen, Tess?
Did you think people were going to say, hey, you're not fat?
I'm sure millions did, by the way.
But yeah, some people have eyeballs.
Some of the comments will be from people with eyeballs.
That didn't work out very well.
No makeup.
He looks like a cool kid who delivers your paper on time every day.
Yeah, he avoids mischief in the hood.
He goes to the YMCA and like his extracurricular activities.
Thanks, Dwayne.
Thanks, Derek.
But it didn't affect me.
And so when I hear people saying all you do is eat and you eat, it's like you almost believe it, even though I know I'm not.
So what's the difference between?
Okay, this is a big thing with fatties.
I don't actually, I should have green screened this.
This is a pause, pause, pause.
But yeah, you do eat.
In fact, I would love, and this will never happen, but I would love as an experiment to sit with her and have to eat as much as she does.
Like, I could die.
Your stomach lining might tear because you know she has two chickens for breakfast and one of those big R C-cola three liter things.
So there, but the new thing with fatsos is I'm actually in great shape and I eat probably less than you.
I eat mostly salad.
I'm just big.
Really?
Okay.
Why were there no one like you?
Why did you people not exist when I was a kid in the 80s?
Why were there no big people back then?
There was like two.
The fattest man in the world when I was a little kid was Walter Hudson.
He weighed 1,500 pounds.
That's anorexia now.
She probably weighs.
What do you think she weighs?
450?
We could probably figure it out.
Imagine fucking that?
How do you even find...
Just fuck her leg.
Just fuck the back of her knee.
Let's see.
Her weight, her bra size.
Why would you want to know her bra size?
The biggest size they have.
Queen size.
Yeah.
Whatever has been invented.
Weight and kilogram.
304?
Oh, she's slim.
Yeah.
Of course, we don't know when this was.
She may have added a hundred.
But she's 5'5 ⁇ .
Holy shit.
How tall are you?
Way taller than her.
So 5'6?
Inches and inches taller than her.
5'7, soaking wet.
Oh, you get taller when you're wet?
That's amazing.
Okay, let's get back to her for a second here.
She's complaining about bulimia, by the way.
If Crip Daddy beat his disease the way she's beating anorexia, he'd be a fucking Hussein Bolt.
Lonely.
And I will say that getting a diagnosis does feel wonderful, but it is extremely lonely.
Sometimes I really fight with the shame of it, which I think is the hardest part.
But how do you feel about it?
She's talking about anorexia.
That's a joke, by the way.
Like I've seen t-shirts on fat people that say, I suffer from anorexia.
I forget what the punchline is, but it's a well-used bit.
Gaining your voice, your message, and the intention of the message that you wanted on Instagram, which is, this is my journey, and I know I'm not on it.
My journey.
How are you resetting this for you and to have other people who want to hear it?
She's talking like Kamala Harris.
What did you just ask?
What journey?
What does resetting mean?
What are you talking about?
None of this is real.
This is what I meant earlier when I said women are agreeable.
They're like, okay, I'm just going to say this woman has anorexia and everyone will clap.
Imagine her showing up to this meeting.
Be like, hi, guys.
Oh, my God.
I'm Rachel.
I have anorexia.
She's like, me too.
In the wrong room.
They're all like hiding in the corner.
They all start drooling because they want to eat her.
It's like, who wants to eat who here?
The cats eat the rats and the rats eat the cats and the cats eat the rats and the rats eat the cats.
It's that thing where the snake eating the snake's tail, whatever that's called.
The crossbow.
Like today, I tried to feed myself.
Didn't do that great.
And like one of your guests said earlier, I just try to be gentle with myself.
I'm trying to feed myself.
I didn't do that great.
I think you did pretty good.
You did an excellent job of feeding yourself.
That's your one true talent is stuffing your fat face.
The Me Too movement with Tamara Burke and who's the other chick?
The level of clown world denial that that girl can be compared to that girl.
And everyone claps.
Stop it.
They're both dying.
I'll give you that.
This is Tarana Burke talking about Me Too movement all over again.
Yeah, yeah.
And I also take...
This must be so hard.
You're doing a great job.
I take immense pride in the fact that...
Immense.
Abyssi.
I understand that I was given this platform originally for modeling.
Not given.
I busted my ass.
By the way.
I busted my ass.
No, you didn't.
You're an Instagram model.
You posed for some fat lesbian who wanted to flatter you.
That's it.
That's not work.
You stood outside and looked like shit for a fake photo shoot.
I lost in my butt to get here, but I feel immense gratitude and pride that I am able to sit here with you and talk about such hard things and know that there's somebody on the other side that feels less alone,
that maybe says to themselves, I'm going to get help, asks for help, starts taking care of themselves in the way that they deserve.
Because, you know, plus size or not, we all, everybody deserves food.
Everybody deserves to eat.
No.
No.
Some deserve more than others.
Those white kids in South Africa and the camps, they deserve food.
You don't deserve food.
A bum who is passed out in his own urine with barf on his beard doesn't deserve booze.
He's been overfed.
Last night, I overserved myself.
I didn't deserve any more liquor.
Go ahead.
Wait.
We deserve to live without judgment.
We do.
We do.
No, you don't.
That's the biggest thing in all of it.
Are you currently in therapy?
How often are you?
Yeah, so I see my dietician once a week, and then I have my therapist once a week.
And I have a lot of people in my life who lovingly just nudge me, nudge me along the right path.
And yeah.
Now, you look like you have a lot of enablers.
All right, that's enough of that fat content.
The last article here, I'm reminded of this thing Proud Boy sent me.
You ready for this term?
You ready for a new level of absurdity?
3-0.
Millionaires of color.
It's really hard being a millionaire of color because when you go to these meetings where you're going to donate like $10 million to the Museum of Modern Art, people stare at you.
So what should we do?
Should we start a GoFundMe for these millionaires to make them feel better?
When philanthropist Mona Sinha walked into her first meeting on a museum advisory board, she immediately noticed that she was the youngest person in the room, ageism, and the only person of color there, racism.
Instead of being welcomed as a new colleague, fellow members of the advisory board asked her if she was a fundraiser for the museum.
Can you imagine how much that must suck?
Such experiences often make people of color feel unwelcome in philanthropy.
Says Emily Haynes.
Emily Haynes, you suck at your job.
This is an idiotic pursuit.
Quit now.
Go get pregnant.
Sina says the emotional toll of operating in a mostly white environment has discouraged many wealthy people of color from seeking out philanthropic leadership roles.
Or maybe they're just cheap.
With many people, I find that the discrimination of the years has so damaged self-worth that it's very hard to claim that spot.
Oh my God.
113.
There's 113 millionaires of color?
Wow.
I thought America was racist.
Your article contradicts itself, you stupid bitch.
I bet if you look her up too, I always look up the journalist.
She's 23.
She just graduated.
She went to an all-female school.
And she mostly writes about fashion and celebrities.
This is her first foray into serious racism.
All right, let's get to the letters.
You're right.
I'm right again.
There she is.
A child.
A dumb, rich infant.
So should I heat up the bottle after I put it in the water or put the water in first?
No, you don't put water in there, Emily Haynes.
I didn't get that joke.
Sounds good, though.
She's a babysitter.
Oh.
People don't babysit babies, Ryan.
Oh.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes together.
Let me touch it.
Okay, my fucking hands are all black now.
Uh-oh.
I got these for the jag, which we don't have yet.
Don't worry, when we go pick up the jag, we're going to do a whole car guys episode over there.
Nice.
Still working on it.
But like, I don't want to wear these anymore.
I wore them because I found out my grandfather, Johnny McInnes, had a Volkswagen bug, my cousin told me.
And no one was allowed in it with food.
He was very strict.
And he would wear driving gloves when he got in because it was so important to him.
I thought, that's pretty dope.
Are your palms black?
My fingers have these weird shadows on them.
And yeah, my fingernails.
So these are garbage now.
Because you don't want to put on something that's going to make your hands dirty.
Now you've added something to your day.
The whole point of them is like to protect stuff.
You can't wash them.
You can't wash leather gloves.
Someone sent us a Facebook link.
I cannot check Facebook, sir.
This does work.
Oh, you can?
And what does it say now?
I didn't know that.
Okay.
Let's see.
Racists and thing on Facebook.
We're not allowed on Facebook, but that's totally cool.
Okay.
Thanks for that.
That was great.
All right.
Lou Reed.
Hey, this gentleman refers to Ryan and I as quote-unquote faggot cocksuckers, which hurts, I'm not going to lie.
Gabdioni, cool stories about Lou Reed.
Did you ever meet him?
I never met him.
I did meet that genre.
I met Debbie Harry once, and I met the guy who did the prints for Andy Warhol.
They're all total assholes.
Richard Hell, all of those, that late 70s punk scene, pop art community.
They're all dicks, and they're dicks as an affectation because they think that's what you want them to be.
They go, oh, you were here like in the real New York and when it was tough and dangerous.
So you're like an edgy person.
So they're just shitty.
Like Debbie Harry's a cunt.
Gatekeepers.
And Lou Reed, I heard, is a complete fucking asshole.
If I met Lou Reed, I'd go, dude, we're at a nightclub in the dark.
Why are you wearing sunglasses?
You look like such a geek.
Sunglass?
Have you ever worn sunglasses at night?
You can't see shit.
It's retarded.
It's embarrassing.
You look ridiculous.
You're blind to be cool?
No.
And here's the truth about Lou Reed.
He's sort of like Harmony Corinne in kids.
He's a geek from the suburbs.
And he would go into the city and he was overwhelmed by the coolness.
And he couldn't hack it.
So he did heroin.
And heroin makes you relaxed and it makes you feel cool and it makes you apathetic.
But heroin is literally a deal with the devil.
And it started taking him over and he became heroin.
And then just like Richard Grant in the movie How to Get a Head in Advertising, where the tumor gets So big that they accidentally remove his actual head, and the tumor takes over, and he becomes the tumor.
That's what heroin does.
That personality that you get from heroin takes over your real personality.
And so, Lou Reed, deep down in his soul, is a geeky, cool, funny, little nerdy fanboy.
That's who he really is.
Check Harmony Corinne and Kids.
But the heroin made him into cool Lou, and he ran with cool Lou.
So what you're actually seeing is a puppet who is being danced around by the puppeteer who is heroin.
He's not a real person.
I like that print with the toothbrush they just showed.
Art was better in the 80s.
Look at him.
It's so phony.
I'm cool.
That's what I liked about punk.
It was funny.
You had a sense of humor about yourself.
And when you have a giant red mohawk with leopard print on the side of your head, you're clearly not trying to be tough and cool.
You're being a goof.
This is cool.
Cool is gay.
Get your thumb off your face, Dork.
Disney's Turning Red, a review and a warning for Christian parents.
So apparently this new movie where the kid turns into a red panda every time she gets excited is propaganda.
It's LGBT, and the parents don't want her to become a panda, and they're freaked out by it, as one would.
You're defying biology and physics at the same time.
Your parents are going to be a little weird.
You're more, you're as relevant as Jesus Christ.
So yeah, things are going to be a little freaky with the folks.
But the metaphor this article claims is if you're trans or you're gay and your parents have a problem with it, then don't tell your parents.
Disobey them and go be trans on your own, which is not Christian, it's not family, it's not ethical.
We love watching Disney Pixars in our home, Caroline and I, and her red flags went up.
She's like, no, this is like weird propaganda shit.
She's like, I can't really put my finger on it, but it's like wrong.
The attitude's wrong.
Aren't you embarrassed that you're two adults who proudly watch children's movies?
No.
You don't find that in the least bit embarrassing?
No, because I think it's, for the most part, it's a big story whenever there's propaganda in these things, but it's wholesome.
I like wholesome stuff.
So you watch children's movies without a child present, and your baby doesn't count.
They're impressive.
You look at the art and you're like, wow, I mean, they do a good job.
Wow.
Do you guys like Teletubbies?
No.
Oh, that's too young.
No, it's just that we don't like the message.
Oh, so if Teletubbies had a better message, you'd like Teletubbies.
What is the message of Teletubbies?
It's worship this baby sun god and eat this pudding that comes out of a vacuum.
Weird.
It's not hot fire.
No, it doesn't sound like hot fire.
It's not.
Calvin says, I just finished watching the Gavin Kinnis a fucking asshole.
I've only been introduced to you fairly recently.
I know you were a co-founder of Vice, but I've only been watching you since 2015.
After watching that episode, it's like I'm seeing two completely different people.
Back then, you seem much more chill.
You're a lot funnier.
And your humor translates better in all those little sketches.
I was absolutely pissing myself at the one where you daydream the world where women are equally as horny as men.
And the shot of that hog at the end made me spit out my brew all over my keyboard.
Okay?
My hot take is that living in New York has changed you for the worst.
As much as I enjoy watching you every day, you definitely need some anger management with the way you speak to Ryan, who, by the way, is fucking hilarious.
I love his face over impressions.
Do you see any of Ryan in the younger you?
Question mark, comma.
And did you have someone close to you back then who was an impatient asshole to you, which helped you in the industry?
And really, when you're being a dick to Ryan, you're secretly trying to help him?
LOL.
What a fucking idiot.
Just all that.
First of all, I made that video 10 years ago.
I've been living in New York for about 22 years, 23 years.
So I guess the first 10 years, 11 years didn't make me an asshole, but the second decade did.
You're a fucking loser, dude.
Stop talking about people in a philosophical way like they're some sort of deity.
Don't worry about how my personality has changed and who's been an influence.
Fuck you.
That's like, you're sub-gay.
This whole show with me on it is a sequel to How to Be a Man, but it's called How to Be a Human.
And he's teaching me how to.
Ah!
The next one is horrible.
I'm going to punish you, but I'm not going to look.
Whoa, dude, this is sick.
Okay.
It's...
I don't want to look.
I could watch this whole thing.
I don't know.
I'm very squeamish, by the way, but I have no problem with this for some reason.
Like, they'll cut the entire lens of the eye off and then fill it with goop.
And then they scrape the inside, the cataract.
I cannot believe that job exists.
I wouldn't do it for a trillion, billion, million, zillion, cadzillion.
It's gone.
But how do they figure out to do that?
Like, who the fuck?
Yeah, what was the first one where they fucked up and they went, oh, I guess we cut too deep?
Are you sure?
Are we sure?
You have like 9 million people on their deathbed and you thought, let's just keep trying slicing different ways of the eye.
Honestly, that's probably it or cadavers.
We're in the future, man.
Like, the way they make contact lenses, it boggles the mind.
Yeah, how does that work?
How did you do that?
Or Batman's contact lens.
No spoilers.
Okay, I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't watch children's movies unless my children want to watch them.
I watch cool movies like Blacklight, where Liam Neeson is rescuing FBI agents, and then he realizes that the FBI is whacking politicians they don't like.
That is pretty badass, but still, it's apples and oranges.
Way to go, FBI.
When are you going to put you're going to put the Joe Biggs gives and go at the end?
Yeah, I put it on while we're talking, and then also at the end of this episode and every episode, going forth, there will be a card.
Let's see what we can do this week, kiddies.
$100.
You can do $100.
He is a great person.
He's been in solitary confinement for a year for meandering.
He's a political prisoner.
Everyone's got their Shea Guevara shirts on.
No one has a Joe Biggs shirt on.
Joe Biggs did nothing wrong.
And Mikatario, Ethan Nordine, did nothing wrong.
They've arrested 775 people that were there that day.
That's fucking ridiculous.
There was two victims of violence, and they were both our girls.
Does that sound American to you?
It doesn't.
It sounds Soviet to me.
All right, let's do the final video.
Squids are cool.
I don't understand this.
I mean, physics and science and a lot of electronic tech, all the technology boggles my mind.
Contact lenses boggle my mind.
That doesn't mean that biology doesn't also boggle my mind.
How the fuck did you do this?
Squid?
How'd you come up with this?
What was the trial and error?
What?
Whoa.
What?
Now you're invisible?
What?
How do- what?
Stop doing that.
It's evil.
Smash that thing.
It's satanic.
It's the subscribe.
Smash it.
Smash that like it's the subscribe.
That's demonic.
Subsquid.
You're too cool.
You need to die.
I know how he feels.
Get fired.
Get in trouble.
Be brave.
And never stop fighting.
Relocation, component homeland.
Since we're in place I can't understand.
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