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Feb. 4, 2022 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:17:33

GOML LIVE #134 - BROTHER OTTAWA

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.
	Cut my hair.
	It happened just the other day.
	It's getting kind of long.
	I could have said it wasn't my way, but I did.
	And I walked away.
	David Crosby did not cut his hair.
	Letting my freak flake fly if I. What an absolute masterpiece.
	That was David Crosby.
	I believe, I'm not sure that was the Birds or Crosby Stills Nash and Young, but that's around 1970.
	Yeah, I think it's Crosby Stills Nash and Young.
	I think that's our debut album.
	And he wrote that smash hit.
	I almost cut my hair.
	And who could do without it?
	It's the origin of wave your freak flag high, or at least would put it on the map.
	And David Crosby is threatening to remove classics such as that from Spotify if we don't get rid of Joe Rogan.
	That's a fate worse than death.
	Can you imagine being without that song?
	Me?
	Hell no.
	It's the greatest song.
	It's so catchy.
	I mean, I could just hum it right now.
	I almost cut my hair, but I didn't.
	Okay, admittedly, I forgot it already because it fucking sucks.
	Suck my dick.
	Okay, boomer, remove your songs.
	We don't give a shit.
	Welcome back, Maddie Odell.
	What's up, everybody?
	Good to see you.
	Good to have you.
	How are you?
	How are you feeling, Maddie?
	I'm all right, not bad.
	Had a long day.
	I understand you had some unfortunate chicken recently.
	Yeah.
	Didn't sit well.
	But I had a rough day, had a long day, broke down, sat on the side of the highway for a little bit.
	Then I was pulled over.
	You know, good stuff.
	Now, why did you call Bill when you got pulled over?
	Unreliable Bill and not me?
	No, no, I broke down.
	Well, I had to wait for a tow truck.
	It was a heavy truck.
	But why didn't you call me?
	Well, I called him when I was back in my own personal vehicle.
	Oh, I see.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Okay.
	When I was waiting for the tow truck and everything by myself.
	And I ran into you on the street when you were in your truck and we spoke for, I think, four seconds.
	About that.
	And then I was pulled over for stopping and blocking traffic.
	Because I want to talk to my dear buddy Gavin.
	No good.
	Don't let me go, though.
	Aren't these cops realizing that doing their job is bad for them?
	Like, if I was a cop right now and I saw someone go, I would just go, I should probably fill out some paperwork in about an hour.
	Wait for the call to come in?
	Yeah, getting so eager to go attack someone who's slowed down traffic for four seconds.
	Yeah.
	He goes, I seen you at the traffic light.
	He goes, you were kind of anticipating.
	He said, then I seen you pull over and talk to your buddy there.
	I was like, all right, you got me.
	That's precisely what happened.
	Yeah.
	He goes, and then you stopped, and everyone behind you had to stop.
	And, you know, it's a main road.
	And I was like, I'm guilty.
	What do you want me to say?
	It's definitely rude.
	It's not.
	He goes, didn't you see me behind you?
	I was like, no, I was looking out the side window talking to my buddy.
	And then I was.
	And he wasn't right behind you.
	I saw the car behind you.
	It was a normal car.
	Yeah, it was like a minivan or something.
	It must have been like two or three cars behind me.
	Yeah, I was just like, oh, God.
	Yes, you got me.
	I was rude.
	I slowed down traffic for four seconds.
	Sorry.
	Glad you went to the police academy, fuckface.
	I mean, fortunately, he didn't want to be too much of a.
	He let me go.
	Yeah, because he knows who you are after.
	He did recognize me.
	He says, I've dealt with you before.
	I said, absolutely.
	How old was he?
	I'd probably say early 40s?
	Late 30s, early 40s?
	That's not a rookie.
	No, no.
	That's a guy at the end.
	26?
	Let's say the latest you could start is 26.
	Well, the address is impossible, but as far as like the norm.
	The address that I lived at, when he recognized me from, I probably haven't lived there since like 2015.
	So it's been, he's been on the job at least six, seven years.
	All right.
	So tonight's a special show.
	We've got my brother in Ottawa.
	We're going to talk to him at the Honkin Convention in Ottawa.
	The Honky's Honkin, which apparently is racist.
	And I forgot my computer, so Ryan will be handling the mail.
	But what about our sponsor?
	Who are our sponsors tonight?
	Do we have any?
	I think so, yeah.
	Have they all been pushed out?
	Nay.
	They are as attached.
	We got tactical walls.
	Tactical walls?
	Yeah, we got beard vet.
	And beard vet.
	Okay.
	Can you print them out real quick?
	Because I think he's going to be able to get them.
	Print them out real quick, but I have tactical walls memorized.
	It's 15% off, right?
	Yeah.
	Gavin 15.
	Promo code Gavin15 Tactical Walls.
	They put cool walls up in your house or in your Jeep or anywhere.
	You can hide your guns.
	You can display your guns.
	You can hide your sins.
	You can display your sins.
	All with tacticalwalls.com.
	Vet owned.
	American made.
	That's becoming a bigger deal by the day.
	The fact that we are promoting American manufacturing, It was innocuous.
	It was silly 20, 30 years ago.
	Why bother?
	Who cares where it's made?
	I care where it's made.
	This is made in America.
	And when you see a sponsor for this show, they have the balls to stand up to the yapping dogs that are constantly attacking anyone who supports free speech.
	It's amazing how eager these big companies are to kowtow to any kind of blowback from idiots screaming.
	But these guys don't do that.
	You'll notice most of our sponsors are vets.
	And Tactical Tim is one of them.
	We had him here on the show.
	He stayed here all day.
	He built those tactical walls in our front room.
	I'm looking at them now.
	And behind Ryan.
	Unfortunately, we live in New York City where we can only display not even BB guns.
	BB guns are illegal here.
	BB guns, fishing guns with the spear, paintball guns.
	We're not allowed to have those.
	And Joe Biden was just in New York talking to Eric Adams about gun control.
	Yeah, we need better gun control in New York.
	Yeah, because there's so many concealed carry permits being handed out in New York City at One Police Plaza.
	Dude, I bet there was one this year.
	I bet there was one.
	If you got me drunk and shoved me around and showed me a naked lady in high-heel shoes, I might blurt out five, five.
	But that's my range.
	There was probably one to five concealed carry permits released to the public in New York City.
	There's a murder a day.
	It's all illegal guns, dummies.
	Anyway, you have a fire thrower, flamethrower.
	Yeah, those are fine.
	And this is what New Yorkers do with them.
	In Washington Square Park?
	They burn snow, not snowmen, they burn snow people.
	I like how they recasted Frosty the Snowman as a brown person of color.
	I like how they think it's badass.
	Because that guy's like, yo, we in the building.
	Yo.
	Yeah, it's fucking badass.
	Anyway, Tactical Tim, TacticalWalls.com.
	Tactical Tim is the man.
	And if you use the promo code Gavin15, you get 15% off your order, which ends up being a lot.
	Because once you start scooting around, tacticalwalls.com, you're going to see a lot of things that you like.
	All right.
	We go through the mailbag.
	Let's see if we can find my brother in Ottawa.
	He actually calls right now.
	All you have to do is turn on your little wee wee microphone and we could have him on the show.
	I was filibustering.
	I still don't know what a filibuster is.
	KY!
	What's up, literal, bro?
	How's it going, little bro?
	Going great, man.
	Yeah, I'm here in Ottawa at the trucker protest.
	And, God, it just, it's a great reminder of how awesome freedom is.
	So what are people doing around there?
	Did they build bars?
	Well, yeah, so I saw a couple people.
	I mean, people are drinking beers everywhere and just having a great time.
	So if you look here, here's some people just having a fire.
	They've got some food out.
	I mean, it's just a giant party.
	That is so awesome.
	And they're not blocking the roads.
	Like, there's no argument against this, right?
	What could you say against this?
	So the only roads they're blocking, they're blocking Rito Street, which is, it's a tourist street.
	Yeah, it's not a real street.
	Yeah, it's not arterial or anything.
	And then they're blocking one other north-south route, and there's other options.
	So this whole notion that they're shutting down the city doesn't make any sense.
	Huh.
	And are they going to leave without speaking to Justin Trudeau?
	I don't know.
	It doesn't look like they're going anywhere anytime soon.
	So, you know, as you can see here, like these trucks, they're all, these trucks have enough diesel in them to last at least two weeks.
	And I've even seen diesel refueling vans come around.
	Nice.
	And then they also have cars where mechanics have taken off the wheels to make it impossible to tow.
	Oh, that's so great.
	That's so great.
	This is going to be the most consequential political action in the past 10 years.
	This is huge.
	This is putting out no one, we haven't seen this kind of action in Ottawa since that guy at the monument for the fallen soldiers was murdered by jihadists, and no one talked about that.
	Yeah, and, you know, it's funny.
	The news talks about how there's assaults and harassment.
	So even just today on the way over here, this nice family offered me cupcakes for free.
	I've been, you know, having great conversations with everyone.
	It's all smiles, families.
	I mean, it's all lies.
	Yeah.
	It's all fake news.
	How many Nazis have you come across wearing Confederate flags?
	I actually saw a black man wearing a sign that said, do I look like a white supremacist?
	Really?
	And the police, are they going to start, like if you talk to a liberal in Ottawa, they'd say the police need to start cleaning up the town.
	They need to start taking care of this.
	Are the police going to do anything?
	I mean, what is there to do?
	Well, look, you can see this.
	The police are waving at people as they walk by.
	I mean, what are they supposed to do?
	It's all families and people dancing and having a great time.
	So what, I mean, I guess they could handle crimes.
	Okay.
	I guess You could start towing like the truck at the front of the line and then tow all the other trucks.
	I don't know where you're towing them to.
	I don't know.
	So, has the population of trucks gone down since a few days ago?
	It doesn't seem like that.
	Again, all of these trucks look like they're not going anywhere anytime soon.
	But all they're doing, like if you can see, all they're doing, this is out front of Parliament Hill.
	So really, the only people they're inconveniencing are bureaucrats.
	Yeah.
	To which I say, good.
	Good.
	Fucking punish them.
	I saw some video of some old bureaucrat women saying, we stood in front of one of the trucks and we went like this.
	Okay.
	Nice work.
	So it was a huge party there on Saturday night.
	Are people still partying like they were on Saturday night?
	So, yeah, people are partying tonight.
	And what I hear when I talk to people is tomorrow night is going to be a huge fucking rip bug.
	Oh, really?
	Wait, that's the Terry Fox statue that was desecrated.
	Yeah, now it has flowers on it.
	It appears to have survived its desecration.
	Yeah, it looks pretty good to me.
	Unlike the Sir John A. McDonald statue that couldn't survive because they cut its fucking head off.
	Yeah.
	Again, look at this.
	And then people are just shoveling the streets voluntarily.
	Does this look like terrorists to you?
	Nope.
	It doesn't exactly look like Ferguson.
	It looks exactly like what Canadians would do.
	Voluntarily.
	Let's go to Sunday.
	The first half on the road.
	Wow, that's amazing.
	Okay, Kyle, keep wandering around.
	And if something comes up, then contact Ryan and we'll pull you back on.
	All right.
	Later days, Blaze.
	They said the convoy was 70 kilometers long.
	Unbelievable.
	They beat the longest convoy on tenfold.
	And now America's planning one.
	Australia's planning one.
	I used to wipe shit off of that guy's asshole.
	Well, that's your younger brother.
	What I would do is I'd wear a gas mask.
	It was two years ago.
	An N95 mask?
	I'd wear a gas mask I got at a World War II shop because I was 14.
	I was totally disgusted by the concept.
	I'd hold his wrists in one hand and his ankles in the other hand.
	And then I'd set the bath to like, this is after I wiped his ass, a normal like temperature.
	And I just blast his butthole with the bathtub.
	My parents were so drunk, they were like, whatever, works, whatever.
	It's a bidet.
	Yeah, I invented the Biffy.com before Biffy.com invented.
	It was invented.
	Beard Vet, veteran-owned.
	We have a shitload of products to give away, too, coming up next week.
	Stay warm, caffeinated, and looking great with Beard Vet.
	Beard Vet has a great beard grooming products, has great beard grooming products and coffee.
	Check out the Oktoberfest sale.
	October Fest sale?
	That seems like it's a little bit down the line there.
	A little premature, but I think we might be Valentine's Day sale?
	I don't know.
	El Diablo Coffee Blend.
	Remember we tried that?
	Whoa, that got us very high.
	I did a workout today on three coffees, kicked ass, and then my ass kicked me with the most explosive sand I've ever shot out.
	You know, I'm noticing too, I like the predominant theory that our shit smells like cobalt because we can't smell anymore.
	And I'm like, so the Chinese, like the biggest fear in America is bigotry, prejudice, white supremacy, right?
	I go to Florida, I've got to take off my shoes and my belt and all my shit because of Muslims, because of one group.
	I've got to go through all this rigmarole at the fucking gate.
	And then I take a shit, it smells like steel, because of the Chinese.
	I don't mean Chinese people in America.
	I mean China.
	So one religion in one country is fucking up my life.
	And they're not white.
	But yeah.
	White people are poof.
	They're a fucking nightmare.
	Anyway, probably not the best thing to inject into a commercial for a sponsor.
	They're all on sale, free shipping on all orders.
	When you go to beardvet.com, use the promo code Gavin, you get 15% off.
	Check out Beard Vet and tell them Gavin sent you.
	Sean, the owner of BeardVet is one of us.
	He's a good idea.
	We like more than a friend.
	Dude, the copywriting here is so half-assed.
	It reminds me of my mother's cooking.
	There's no love.
	BeardVet stands for the national anthem, Beard Vet Kneels to the Cross, and Beard Vet's charitable contributions help our brothers and sisters in uniform.
	We support them and they support us.
	BeardVet.com, promo code Gavin, for 15% off all orders.
	He also mentions Christmas giveaways, which must be some old copy.
	Well, no, we're ramping it up early this year.
	Starting early.
	Who's getting the jingle tingles?
	Have a merry fire.
	I'm getting excited.
	Baby, it's cold outside.
	Christmas is only, what, nine months away?
	Ten months away?
	So we're going to take calls.
	We're going to do the live feed for Max and John, right?
	Yeah, we're doing the chats, the paychats.
	Pay chats.
	So we're taking money for Max and John.
	These are two proud boys who are serving four years for fighting Antifa.
	We've raised about $2,000 for them so far.
	You want to have some money when you get out, right, Maddie?
	Yeah, it helps.
	Usually when you get out, you're broke.
	Pretty much.
	Because your bills don't stop just because you're in prison.
	Yeah, I bet most guys get out deep into debt.
	Oh, I owe tons of money in back child support.
	Child support, rent.
	None of that stops because you're in prison.
	It just goes into the arrears.
	It must be a real struggle when you're on trial trying to fucking get out of your leases and leave your landlords kind of understand.
	What are they going to do?
	Yeah.
	I'm not leaving.
	I'm not skipping anything.
	If you're in prison, I mean, that's a little easier to get out of, but like child support, like all your credit card bill, like if you have credit or debt or loans, like that's you're all you better have somebody on the outside that's helping you.
	What about your Rolex?
	How does that do?
	My son has it.
	I've asked three times for it back since the last time I got out.
	He just doesn't want to give it up.
	Yeah, because it's gone.
	It's sick.
	It's his anyway.
	I guess at the end of the day, it would be eventually his.
	Yeah, that's the good thing about your kids stealing your shit.
	You're like, you're just stealing your own shit, buddy.
	Yeah.
	I mean, I only have one child, so everything I have goes to him.
	But we also think that they're going to want our shit.
	Like, I've got all my tailored suits and all my books with all my little inscriptions, like every four pages.
	I'm like, wait a minute, this contradicts page 42.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	Because he said that climate change isn't a thing.
	And now here he is saying the earth is warming.
	How does he say it?
	And I always fantasize about my kids going, holy shit, my dad called that up.
	The books might as well be open.
	They'll probably never be open.
	They're not going to look at one of them.
	I have all the Vice magazines in order, and they're leather bound.
	I'm actually missing one of the books.
	And I was, you know, you wake up with the terrors.
	And I woke up last night and I was like, holy fuck, I'm missing 1995 to 1996.
	Who cares?
	They don't care.
	I'm missing cow shit 95 to cow shit 96.
	Yeah, when you let me borrow that Ralph Steadman book, Fear and Loathing in the Kentucky Derby, called The Joke's Over.
	Right.
	I was like, this is cool.
	Like, this dude highlighted this.
	He found this to be particularly interesting.
	All the little notes in the market.
	Wait, did I loan you the Kentucky Derby Hunter Thompson book?
	That was an article in Rolling Stone.
	The book I loaned you was Ralph Stebman's The Joke is Over about his life with Hunter Thompson.
	They got the splatters on there.
	Undercover.
	They got the splatters.
	My grandfather was a great artist.
	And when he died, he didn't really sell his shit.
	So he had like hundreds of paintings.
	And they got dwindled down.
	My mother got some.
	And then I got this like USPS fucking gigantic box.
	I framed a couple of them.
	Sentimental value?
	Not really.
	He didn't like me.
	So you're not pumped.
	I'm just saying.
	I got this.
	So the moral of the story is don't do things for how you will be remembered.
	I texted Terry Richardson this the other day.
	I go, there's all these stories coming out about the early aughts and our world and vice and stuff and hipsters.
	And we're not in the equation.
	We've been written out of the story.
	And I go, I don't have a problem with that because that wasn't my goal to be remembered and documented.
	I was the documenter in many ways.
	And I go, yeah, I just, you got to do things for the moment and enjoy them in the moment and not for any kind of long-term perception, obviously outside of your children that you want your kids to perceive you as a hero.
	But even then, don't save shit so they'll fucking want.
	I've got my great-grandfather's stopwatch.
	He never met me.
	I don't really give a fuck about it.
	I just spent $100 to have it refurbished.
	It's in a junk drawer with other cool shit.
	So my point is, live in the moment.
	Don't think about how much your kids are going to enjoy your Rolex or your fucking suits or reading the scribbly notes in your books because they're not.
	In fact, if anything, do them a favor and get rid of all your shit because they don't want to have to get rid of that.
	Deal with it after you're dead.
	What are we going to do with all that junk?
	Oak chest of drawers.
	They don't want it.
	They want money.
	Yeah, money's always key.
	They don't want your furniture.
	Life insurance, how much you got?
	Same thing with like shitty Christmas gifts.
	There's something about it where when they give it to you, you're burdened with now.
	Now you're throwing away something somebody bought for you and spent time on.
	So we have a rule in our house.
	We keep it around for a month, so that way it's officially ours.
	And then we're like, well, it's ours now.
	We throw it out.
	But after Christmas, it feels weird to get a thing and throw it right out or give it away.
	Dude, I have thrown out probably six boxes of books recently.
	We redid our living room.
	In the studio here, we've thrown out 15 contractor bags of books and garbage and TV mounts and all this shit.
	Just get rid of it.
	We're living in an era of we're too wealthy.
	Like, I want to get robbed.
	Please rob me.
	Please take my shit.
	Take my shit, please.
	Like, in the 70s, you had speakers.
	You worked at a minimum wage job for a speaker that was five feet tall, and it blasted the whole house.
	And then your mom or your grandma had a pearl necklace that was super expensive that she didn't want anyone to steal.
	And you had a VCR, which was a big deal.
	No one could trace it.
	No one has that anymore.
	Like, what are you going to rob?
	You break into a house.
	Say you steal a computer.
	You can't steal it.
	It's tracked.
	GPS.
	We got the GPS.
	We got it locked.
	Oh, yeah.
	A TV?
	Okay, take my flat screen TV.
	It's worth $150.
	And they're heavy and awkward and cumbersome.
	Pain in the ass.
	What are you going to do?
	Run down the street with a 72-inch TV?
	I don't even get home robbery anymore.
	What are you going to get?
	People don't have cash.
	You should have Some cash in the house somewhere.
	Yeah, they don't.
	They pay for a coffee, a $1.50 coffee with a credit card.
	It's for the thrills.
	You know, when you see some, you know, teens out there grabbing stuff from Target, it's just the thrill.
	What do you mean?
	Teens.
	Teens, you know.
	Never heard of them.
	Haven't seen them on the street in a long time.
	Buy Target.
	Turn their rooms on the screens.
	Buy Indigenous.
	All right, so let's go behind the paywall now.
	Goodbye, people who don't pay.
	You just got the first half hour for free.
	Enjoy yourselves.
	I'm glad that you got some free shit, you mooch.
	Yeah.
	And let's start taking calls now.
	Do you want to send them off or we just cut them hard?
	We just cut them hard.
	All right, guys.
	Cleave them.
	Fudge you.
	They're out.
	You're out.
	It's like dumping a chick.
	Actually, no, dumping a chick, in my day, if you date a girl for like a year or two and it's just, you know, it's not working, you got to just say to yourself, all right, I have a five-hour session about to go down.
	And I'm going to break up with her.
	I'm going to sit there and deal with all the shit.
	I'm not going to send a text.
	I'm not going to be like, sorry, not call her back.
	A real man sits down for five hours and is like, yeah, that's the case.
	You just got to go through it.
	And the way I used to go through it when I was a dumper is guys work in the sewers.
	They pull out rat kings from giant clogged holes with diapers and feces.
	I can sit with a girl for a few hours and be like, yeah, it's not working out.
	And also, but this isn't really the same concept, but with employees firing them, the best way to do it is just, this isn't working out.
	There's no negotiating.
	You're not wanted here anymore.
	Goodbye.
	I wish you nothing but the best.
	I won't give you a bad review because you didn't do anything that bad.
	You're just not good enough to do this job.
	Boop, boop, boop.
	Short and sweet.
	Zoop out the door.
	Which is what I'll be doing to Ryan tonight.
	You know, I could read between the lines.
	I know that you were sending me off right there.
	Goodbye.
	I think it was the hat, Ryan.
	You're 1997.
	Good on the new jersey suit.
	Giving in an inch to fit.
	God, hippie music is so shitty.
	That's my purpose.
	No.
	Oh, now my buttons don't work.
	Oh, shit.
	Who's hold?
	Yeah, I'm fired.
	I could feel it now.
	You know, it's like when you're breaking up with a chick and she thinks there might be a glimmer of hope, and then she, like, diarrhea's herself, and she's like, I'll just see myself out.
	Ry, you're looking kind of swole over there, guy.
	Thank you, sir.
	What is that?
	Like, uh.
	You know, I'm embarrassed to admit.
	I just bought his pre-workout.
	It's called Gorilla Mindset.
	Gorilla Mode.
	No, Gorilla Mode.
	718 tattoo?
	I do.
	Ooh, representing.
	If I went to jail, would that be bad?
	Like, what are you, fucking MS718?
	No.
	Okay.
	Everyone knows what 718 is.
	I might make some friends.
	It's also our call-in number.
	Put that up.
	Oh.
	Oh, wait.
	You know what we've never done?
	Start the show with Maddie there.
	Oh, my God.
	Watch out, Maddie.
	There we go.
	He was just about to make his way to Maddie and the Eagle took him away.
	Oh, watch out.
	Mike Frankley was the beautiful bird.
	The beautiful bird.
	The bird, which is the bald eagle.
	Bye-bye.
	Back to mommy.
	I got to say, I do feel a sense of relief when we do the cutoff and it's only back to the paywall.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I feel like we're back with our family.
	We can relax.
	Because the first half hour is a commercial.
	And it's a mainstream commercial available to all of Earth for free.
	And now we're with our people.
	Our folks.
	We can relax.
	That was a sigh of relief, too.
	Not like a sigh of like, oh, God.
	Just to let everybody know.
	Thanks, Ryan.
	I'm filibustering again.
	Oh.
	Let's go through the mailbag, though.
	I can't because I forgot my fucking computer.
	That's all right.
	You know, I think we have some paychats.
	Guys, if you go to this sucker right here, if you go to the page in which we are streaming, right?
	So this is our show streaming along.
	Now you go here, right below it on the site, donate to read a message on there.
	Bam, right there.
	So click on it yourself.
	Okay.
	Fag it.
	Smash to subscribe.
	So do you have to sign up?
	You have to be a subscriber, I believe, yeah.
	But you use a little bit of your Okay.
	You just fill this out.
	So I don't know how that works, but 100% of the proceeds go to Max and John.
	That's correct.
	Help them start their lives when they get out.
	They're getting out soon, I think in about 1.3 years.
	It's always so fucking depressing.
	It is depressing.
	Because every time I hear the number, I want to think six months, and it's never even close to six months.
	That's 16 months.
	1.3 years.
	I don't even have a place to file the feelings I have about Joe Biggs being locked or Ethan.
	I don't even have a file for how do I feel about that besides anger?
	And I don't want to think about it.
	I feel kind of differently with Ethan and Biggs.
	I feel hopeless.
	They're innocent men who got fucked over, but they went to a thing that I told them not to go to.
	With Max and John, they were just walking home.
	Someone picked a fight with them.
	They said yes and won.
	And they got four fucking years.
	Four years for a minor brawl.
	Mutual combatant.
	I think if Maddie and I had that same brawl, I don't think it would end our friendship.
	No.
	We would just be like, it is what it is.
	That was a crazy night.
	Let's agree to disagree.
	I don't know what was going on there.
	Well, I wouldn't throw a bottle of piss at you.
	There was no serious injuries.
	No.
	The Antifa got their eyes schmushed in by Max going, eh.
	Then there was the guy who got kicked by John.
	But, like, I don't even know if three days after the fight, you'd be able to detect from any Antifa or any Proud Boys if there was any damage.
	I don't think it would show up on any chart anywhere.
	So that's four years?
	Shouldn't four years be like you were in intensive care and they managed to stitch you up?
	Anyway, I know I talk about them too much, but we're raising money for them every Thursday because I'd like them to have a big nest egg to get settled.
	I'm also kind of worried.
	I wanted to talk to you about this, Maddie.
	I'm also a little bit worried about their PTSD.
	Like Max worked on the railroads at Grand Central.
	John was a steel inspector.
	You're in jail.
	You're at what Max describes as a very, very, very shitty cruise for four years.
	That's your mindset now.
	He plays his guitar.
	He reads his books.
	I used to equate it to being stuck at a train station because you're waiting for your date.
	Yeah.
	You're just in limbo, just sitting there.
	And the train comes by.
	You're just waiting for the train to come.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	So I understand when he says you're on a shitty cruise.
	Because you do.
	Like, you get enough of a routine, although however mundane it is.
	But you get up and you're like, all right, I'm going to go do whatever my job is.
	And I'm going to go to the yard.
	I'm going to work out today.
	Yeah.
	Everything's.
	You get into this.
	Yeah.
	You get into a routine.
	The routine.
	And it kind of, there are days when you don't think as much about as the outside because you're kind of consumed with what you're doing inside or whoever their little group is or one or two guys that they may talk to or break bread with.
	I get that.
	My fear is, and I don't get this, so you've had that world and you talked about once, you talked about how you got up in the middle of the night and you just went, I'm going to go get a glass of water from the fridge.
	Or a glass of milk.
	Which was the craziest thing in the world.
	And you're like, I can do that now.
	Yeah.
	How about this?
	I go get a glass of milk.
	I don't go back to bed.
	I watch a sitcom for five minutes.
	Then I go back to bed.
	Fuck you.
	Yeah.
	And you're allowed to do that.
	So I worry about Max and John, you know, readjusting that.
	I think it'll be easier for John because he has Zenoa and his kids and she's going to be like, get up.
	Let's do this.
	Let's do that.
	She's really in control broad.
	But Max, I don't know.
	So he goes back to swinging a sledgehammer on the railroad.
	Punk, punk.
	He goes right back to his job.
	I mean, that'd be great if he could.
	Don't some guys, though, just get kind of freaked out by it all?
	I remember the first, like, like, usually when you first come home, like, I had to get used to, like, carrying keys around again.
	Because you didn't carry keys.
	Or, like, unlocking doors.
	Like, you would stand at doors and wait for someone to open.
	Like, like, little things, you know.
	But that sounds quaint and fun.
	No.
	And then also.
	Is there anything disturbed?
	Like, are you disturbed by all this?
	Do you have PTSD where you're like, I don't want these keys?
	Oh, like, even like being around children.
	Because there's no children in the prison.
	I mean, you might see them on the visiting room and stuff like that, but like everyday normal children just running around, like the noises, children playing and stuff like that.
	Like, you just, you haven't heard it in four years.
	Is your instinct to do like a scared straight where you're like, you better never come back here?
	No.
	That's the only reason kids would be able to come up by their collars.
	Wake the fuck up.
	Like, I don't know what their personal experiences are.
	But I don't think they're having a terrible, terrible existence there.
	No, they're not.
	They're not.
	They're both in control of their little splocks.
	It shouldn't be too hard to reacclimate to the life they came from.
	All right.
	I predict will happen.
	I don't think it should be.
	I said, unless, and I'm not saying that this happened to either of them, like, some people go to prison and get abused and have all sorts of nightmarish, hellish things happen to them.
	And they may suffer a lot of PTSD.
	I mean, it's a high-stress environment, don't get me wrong.
	Anything can happen at any time.
	But like I said, I don't think they're really having too much of a hard go.
	Like, you're always, no one's ever at 100% at ease.
	Like, you're not kicking up with your feet and shower shoes and eating chips, walking around the day room with flip-flops on.
	But it's like being married.
	Without even mentioning it, there were a couple people that were like, hey, he could work for me when he gets out and stuff like that.
	Like doing the same job, welding or whatnot.
	So I predict we could have a job fair of sorts.
	Yeah, definitely.
	And they know the story.
	They know the guy.
	He's great.
	And yeah.
	That definitely helps.
	You know what's ironic, Ryan?
	Once I fire you, no one will do the same thing for you.
	It would be a job unfair.
	You will be unemployable, but as employees at most agents, you will be excellent at putting a bamboo pole across your shoulders and accruing several giant contractor bags of aluminum cans in the Lower East Side.
	Or plastic bottles.
	Plastic bottles pay too?
	I think so, yeah.
	Just don't squish them.
	Well, you're going to learn the hard way, whether that's true or not, because that's going to be your vocation.
	The first Asian homeless man in New York City, I could see it now.
	My name in mud.
	Fucking.
	That'd be funny if you did that and you just kicked ass.
	Yeah.
	And made $120,000 a year.
	What?
	Wait, wait.
	Wouldn't you just stop doing that at some point?
	Or no, you're addicted to the grind.
	Yeah.
	Digging through garbage cans on every corner.
	The grind.
	I'm on my hustle.
	Every time I see those chinks carrying those bottles, cans, I'm just like, how did you get here?
	Who is responsible for you?
	Do they feel bad?
	Yeah.
	Like, I worked my hard, Singapore, I came here and I worked so hard.
	I got eventually, I worked so hard.
	I had a dry cleaner and then I got my grandmother and my mother and everyone to come.
	But then I kind of lost track of Nana.
	And now she collects fucking cans because I'm a shitty guy.
	Well, you fucked up, dude.
	Yeah, you suck.
	You suck.
	You do.
	You're a bitch.
	You're a bitch.
	You're a fucking shitty sponsor.
	Speaking of sponsors, hemorrhoids on the line.
	Hemroids.
	Hi, Hemroids.
	954.
	You're on the line.
	What's going on, man?
	What's up, Doug?
	Hey, ma'am.
	Hey, thank you guys so much.
	You guys are crushing it over there.
	So, yeah, for the hemorrhoids, man, what you want to do, you know, they say that the Hispanics put VIX on everything.
	Believe me, get yourself a little bottle of VIX.
	Hopefully, you never have hemorrhoids again, but when you do, clear you right up.
	You're welcome.
	But when you do, they're going to smell good.
	I pray to God that you're white, by the way, because that would be hilarious.
	Nah, nah, actually.
	I'm Dominican.
	But, yo, Ryan, man, thank you so much.
	You're crushing, especially when you put them faces on.
	It's hilarious.
	Thanks for watching.
	Sometimes I almost want to look over at Gavin and be like, yo, eased up.
	But at the same time, come on, man.
	We've been doing this for a long time.
	You got to get it together.
	You know, he's aging, you know, so he's going to spazz on you.
	Thanks for calling.
	Later, man, thanks.
	That caller was assuming my hemorrhoid's gone.
	Still there.
	Still hanging tough, as they say.
	And I think Boys to Men Sync.
	No, that was New Kids on the Block.
	New Kids on the Block.
	It doesn't hurt anymore, but it's just hanging there like a little tiny baby dick.
	The song's a tea bag hanging out your ass.
	The song's tough.
	Still fucking there.
	And it's not going down at all.
	It's the exact...
	I'll show you how big it is.
	This is my hemorrhoid.
	No, wait, that's exaggerated.
	That is my biggest fear.
	Have you never had a hemorrhoid?
	Never.
	I don't think I've ever had.
	It's like you grow.
	It's a cyst.
	It's a tumor.
	It's quato.
	It's a pain ellipse.
	You have quato.
	Well, I went for, what is it?
	When they fucking check for colon cancer, they put the...
	Colonoscopy.
	A colonoscopy.
	They said I had some internal ones.
	Whoa.
	Fine.
	They never came out.
	Is that a powerful?
	If you have a million internal hemorrhoids, it's when they're external.
	No, he goes, you got one internal or two internal ones.
	Every time I take a shit, I've got to clean peanut butter off a light bulb.
	It's literally a pain in the ass.
	Two of the greatest inventions from Europe.
	Thank you for blacks.
	Thanks, Group, for watching.
	Thank you for inventing the light bulb and peanut butter.
	To celebrate Black History Month, I'm wiping my ass.
	I'm scraping peanut butter off a light bulb.
	Two best black inventions.
	I'd like to know what you think is worse, a retarded idiot 20-year-old with face tattoos having kids by accident, or a 27-year-old normal person who's too scared to have kids because they don't think they're a father material.
	I'll go with the retarded 20-year-old with the face tattoos.
	Thank you.
	Alex.
	The more families, the better.
	He'll figure it out.
	The guy, the 27-year-old didn't have kids.
	He doesn't exist.
	Hey, Gavin and Ryan, my wife had added it to our growing family with twins in October.
	Would you or Ryan want them if given the opportunity?
	Yes.
	The first few weeks are pretty much sucked.
	Yeah, the first seven weeks, blow.
	But we got two kids out of one pregnancy.
	Are twins cool or weird?
	I think twins are awesome because you get, Ryan, you're showing.
	No, that's supposed to be.
	Yeah, because it extends.
	So try to keep the limit on the text out.
	Would you want twins or just regular kids?
	I think twins are great.
	I never had twins.
	I love the idea of twins because it's sort of like when you're moving, you're taking the boxes.
	This best way to move is to take the most brutal hell boxes of books first.
	The bed frames.
	And leave the lightest boxes to the end.
	So when you're fucking destroyed at the end, you're taking like doilies and socks.
	Similarly, with raising kids, you get the twins.
	I'm sure your first year is Hades.
	It must be brutal, especially for the woman, like double breastfeeding.
	That must be a nightmare.
	Then you get the butt be able to walk and run.
	Yeah, you're running around trying to child proof everything.
	But they're so fucking adorable after one that you get.
	Why are you showing that picture for twins?
	It's the antween.
	Yeah, we're not talking about fucking children actually right now.
	Not the best context to put this in.
	They never said they wanted to fuck them.
	They're just like, twins are cool.
	Yeah, and then I thought, okay.
	Yeah, you're bad at your job.
	I'm sorry.
	So I imagine you get the heavy lifting out in the first year, and it must be brutal.
	Twin parents, I salute you.
	Yeah, hats off.
	But then after that, you have two funny little dudes or dudettes running around or dude and dudette if they're heterogeneous.
	That must be fucking hilarious.
	Gavin and Ryan, please do more woke movie commentaries like when you guys did The Help and Charlie's Angels.
	We did Charlie's.
	Oh, we did the new Charlie's Angels.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, we got to do a new one.
	Hey, Ryan, is your wife upset?
	You have a hot, chunky female ass now that obliterates hers.
	Her friends must also be hella pissed that you look so good in those jeans.
	He looks like Lizzo in his jeans.
	Do they give you a nasty look every time they see you?
	How did that ass jap get a Filipino ass?
	Clearly, I'm a fag for thinking this.
	Yes, you are a fag, sir.
	Ryan actually went to the mall in the Bronx and he got normal pants.
	That's correct.
	Are you wearing them now?
	No, I'm wearing the joggers.
	So these are, you know, workout joggers.
	Yeah, his outfit today is top-notch.
	The sneakers match the yellow.
	He looks like a sad male prostitute who didn't have a dad and whose mother is crying herself to sleep at night.
	But he did buy some jeans today that are for plus-size men, did you say?
	I did the green goblin jump.
	No, it's called their athletic fit for thick-thighed gentlemen who work out.
	That's what I Said in a long way.
	Well, you said fat guys or gay guys or something that I don't agree with.
	So that hurt.
	So I ignored it.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Upset wife.
	Do you have to buy a bigger waist?
	No, actually.
	No, same waist.
	Still 31.30.
	31.30.
	Holy shit.
	Hourglass.
	I think I'm at 36 right now.
	So your wife, she married like a nebbish little chink, and now she's with Lou Farigno.
	Does she like that?
	You know what's funny?
	So she told me no.
	She's like, I don't know why.
	I mean, you're really going hard on this muscle thing, but like, I already told you I'm not attracted to like muscles.
	So I'm just letting you think about that.
	Then today, she was like, just an update.
	Actually, after I said that, I do like your muscles.
	Because I'm getting a little more svelte.
	But there was a time when I was very bulky.
	I'll show you a picture of it.
	And I understand that it was a little much.
	It was like a different guy.
	But you have to bulk to put on muscle.
	You have to gain fat for energy, testosterone, and...
	And what's the pre-workout you made me buy?
	Gorilla Mind?
	Yeah.
	Derek from More Plates, More Dates.
	He was on Rogan recently.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, you liked it.
	He's a great guy.
	Canadian dude?
	And what's the shit I bought, Gorilla Mind?
	Gorilla Mode.
	Gorilla Mode.
	Because when I heard that, I thought Cernovich must be unhappy looking.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	He's Gorilla Mindset.
	Guerrilla Mindset.
	And they sell creatine shit.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, well, he started out as a nootropics thing, which is like good for your mental clarity.
	So I also got some of that.
	I'm going to test it out for work.
	It makes you more sharp, more on point.
	By the way, please do.
	But that shit that Joe Rogan takes for his brain, he's a meathead Guido fucking MMA dude who is currently the leading journalist and the leading medical influencer in America.
	Yes.
	Which is the most powerful country in the world.
	The thing is, he owns that company.
	Oh, he does?
	He owns Onit.
	On it?
	Yeah, he's dude.
	On it is getting the best advertising it could possibly receive.
	Who is it?
	Aubrey Marcus?
	Like Gino Benuti, Gino Piscante and Dr. Fauci are head-to-head.
	You'd be like, what is Gino taking?
	Him and that guy, Aubrey Marcus, Onit.
	Who's Aubrey Marcus?
	He's like a dude who does a lot of psychedelics and a lot of drugs.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I want to try it.
	I want to do it.
	He's in super shape.
	If I don't go bald and you don't give me tits, I'll take your shit.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I mean, I'm eating rotten fucking rice right now.
	Yeah.
	On it.
	Onit.com.
	I guess this is a product place, but now.
	But you get some.
	Okay.
	You know what I got?
	I got the same thing, but it's Derek's brand, the same Gorilla Mode thing.
	It's Gorilla Mode.
	It's both smooth.
	We'll do both at the same time.
	Let's start being, I mean, our job, I'm writing all this down.
	Our job is to, you guys work hard every day.
	You come home, you watch us to relax, you put your feet up.
	So our job is to make your life easier.
	And we usually do that through commentary about the news.
	Here's what happened today while you were busy working.
	Here's our take on it.
	But we should also be guinea pigs.
	We should also be trying this shit.
	So this is skinny gross me.
	Hold on, hold on, hold on.
	Oh.
	I don't know how necessary that was.
	Okay, that's skinny Ryan.
	Don't care.
	Okay, now we go to plump Ryan.
	See the plumpness?
	Don't care.
	Okay, and then we go to more fit Ryan, which is this guy.
	He's more fit.
	This is when I'm pumped at the gym.
	You're wearing the same shirt and everything.
	Do you jerk off in the mirror?
	No, I do not.
	Actually, I'm actually very, actually, very judgmental about my form.
	Like, I'm not impressed.
	Some things I'm happy about, but no.
	So you're your hardest critic?
	Yes.
	I think I have body dysmorphia somehow.
	What's funny?
	I don't understand.
	Oh, speaking of hardest critic, Maddie, when did you start having a heart issue?
	What was the cause?
	I'll understand if you don't want to talk about it.
	2017, August 30th.
	That's late.
	That's when I had it.
	And my heart condition is hereditary.
	I have what they call a TTN gene mutation.
	So it's genetic.
	That causes my cardiomyopathy.
	Well, your dad died very young from it.
	Cancer.
	My mother had the heart condition.
	Oh, okay.
	Comes from the Scottish father.
	And how old was she when she died?
	66.
	She got it at 58.
	So she made eight years.
	Huh.
	Speaking of Joe, sorry to derail Maddie's illness.
	But Joe's in a bad way.
	Joe Tanelli, the guy who replaced you, is going through some rough times.
	Well, that's funny.
	Oh, my God.
	He is fucking so this guy.
	If Gavin got shot or stabbed, he would be going blind and he would have like scoliosis and his body was going to turn into an S. Anything that was guaranteed.
	That's not a...
	He has to outdo you now.
	So now he says he has bladder cancer.
	He was pissing and shitting blood.
	But he said he was in the ICU for 11 days, but yet he has.
	Well, was the shit that he smears on the wall, was it bloody?
	No.
	First of all, when you're shitting blood, it looks like black jello.
	Oh.
	Like blood pudding.
	No, it's just, it's like literally like gelatin.
	Oof.
	I want that.
	That is not hot.
	Yeah, someone said that because Ryan and I both thought we were shitting blood because our shit smells like steel.
	No.
	And Robbie, who watches the show, Robbie D, he goes, no, dude, I had blood in my stool for a while.
	It's pitch black.
	Yeah, and it's like jello.
	Who do you think does a better job of explaining the left, James O'Keefe or Libs of TikTok?
	Definitely James O'Keefe.
	James O'Keefe is a main course.
	That's a steak dinner exposing the left.
	Libs of TikTok is awesome, but it's candy Corn.
	It's fun little delectables.
	It's like bread before you eat.
	There's no real substance there.
	I love them, her actually.
	But no, James is changing America permanently and journalism.
	Okay, so here's Joe Tonelli.
	3.18 a.m.
	He's sending this to people.
	And as the guy who got this, James points out, he's British, he goes, have you noticed that Joe gets really sick whenever people are not looking at him?
	Like Thanksgiving, he had cancer.
	Christmas, he had another huge, terrible bout.
	And now that Arnie is back after being sick, and people are like, oh, Arnie's back.
	People are looking at Arnie.
	So he's like, actually, what about me?
	I'm dying.
	So he goes, yo, the reason I called the 1-11 is so is so you know I called the urologist on Westchester Medical Center.
	I told her the bleeding was really bad.
	He's bleeding out of his dick, I guess.
	She told me, head to the hospital.
	I'm still here now.
	It's 4.30 a.m.
	They got the bleeding finally under control.
	What do you mean?
	They stopped your dick bleeding?
	Yeah, they put compressions.
	Where?
	Where?
	In your urethra?
	In your urethra?
	They put a tampon pencil in your urethra?
	Yeah, exactly.
	I have severe infection in the bladder.
	The ultrasound showed more nodules and lesions besides the ones that were on my last scan six days ago.
	As you know, I told you I have appointment on Thursday instead of goddamn May.
	I'm real.
	Anyway, because of the new findings, I saw urology in the ER.
	They're trying to get me scheduled for early today or tomorrow.
	Because of the severity, I'm growing these new nodules and lesions.
	Lesions?
	This is where you start reading.
	But it goes on.
	The ER doc said I have to get this procedure done ASAP and remove them and test for the malignancy of the cancer.
	The urologist, who I saw a couple hours ago, said she never saw nodules and lesions grow like that.
	How many times have you been doing that?
	She should have recorded him and just did the surgery right then and there.
	Should have.
	He's a groundbreaking case.
	Especially being in the ICU for 11 days.
	But he was caught at the bar in the middle of his 11-day run.
	Yeah, he got.
	Oh, they let me out.
	I had to go.
	He left the ICU to go relax, have a drink.
	He was in a bar on that Saturday.
	See, that's the thing.
	Like, I'm sure the viewers at home are like, not Maddie and I, because we're used to this shit.
	Oh, it's hilarious.
	But I'm sure you're going like, guys, guys, guys, this might be true.
	No.
	This is lie 486.
	So, although I'm sure you guys are going, are you sure?
	Well, here's the greatest story.
	And our viewers should know this if they ever watch the episode with Joe, because you asked Joe if he had ever been in the military.
	He says, yep, was in the Marine Corps a very long time.
	So Joe's big thing is he can't, he has to get insurance.
	So now he says he's waiting for Medicaid.
	First of all, if you needed surgery that bad, they're just going to do it and the hospital will get you your Medicaid.
	So I go, Joe, I think it was me, you, Big John, and Jose sitting at the table.
	So I go, Joe, I said, if you're that sick and you need insurance that bad, why don't you just go to the VA?
	Go to the VA.
	And he just said, he just looked at me and was like, really?
	Seriously?
	Really?
	Seriously?
	You're going to go there?
	Yeah, I'm going to go to your lie.
	Yeah.
	Fucking retard.
	How dare you approach my lie?
	Yeah.
	How dare you call me on that?
	i don't have that anymore i don't i don't want to be number three and he mentions a girl we know who died uh and another guy who died oh geez he's he's he's pulling those two out yeah i don't want to be number three and he mentions the two of them and me anyway it's close to 5 a.m hopefully i'm going home shortly they have me on strong antibiotics the infection is real bad and the pain is unbearable i can deal with when i was admitted to the hospital back in december for
	nine days i had the same infection oh you mean when everyone was talking about christmas and you were losing attention um that's when he got fired from amazon the infection has gotten worse so they're giving me a broader span of ivb iv antibiotics a lot stronger from when i was in the hospital by the way i'm correcting unbelievable grammar and spelling mistakes here um I'll keep you posted how the upcoming appointment goes.
	What a figure.
	You figure there would be a little bit better grammar, especially somebody with an extensive medical field as Joe.
	Yeah, he's a nurse.
	He's a registered nurse.
	He was a flight nurse.
	He was a paramedic.
	He got a Dewey and missed the appointment, and that's the only thing we can find online.
	If you at home were to look up the judge Eric Paul Press, P-R-E-S-S, you would see a judge who was disappointed in Joe for not appearing in court.
	Joseph Tonelli at White Plains City Court, case number CR 07990-21.
	He did not show up.
	Sent a warrant letter.
	That's actually real.
	Yeah.
	And I don't give a shit if someone is drunk driving and doesn't show up to court.
	I'm just saying that when you do look up this guy, you see nothing but crime and lies.
	This totally blew his court date off.
	Selfie.
	You know what he's probably setting up?
	He's probably setting up, oh, I'm dying of platter cancer.
	I couldn't make it to court.
	He's planting the seeds for the field he's going to play fucking.
	He's just in remission every time that thing isn't happening.
	That works at the bar, but...
	You don't go to court and say, I sorry, I couldn't be here.
	I had cancer.
	They'll go, okay, well, where's your paperwork?
	You can't just randomly say.
	No.
	This guy's calling from Alberta.
	Calling about the trucker stuff going on, Fact.
	587.
	Joe's live.
	Yeah, go ahead.
	Got a bad echo.
	I don't know if we can do anything about that.
	Is this Cody Canuck?
	It's not good that we have a bad echo.
	Is it...
	Maybe we should.
	You know what I'm asking?
	Just hold on the line.
	I'm going to.
	Here we go.
	Ryan doesn't know how to do his job.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	The echo is a thing that's been going on.
	Okay, now let's try.
	Hey.
	Okay, we're in the host room.
	I understand.
	Please stop talking.
	Computer man.
	Okay.
	587, you're online again.
	Hey, thanks for taking my call.
	I just wanted to support, throw out a lot of support for the truckers.
	I'm working up in the oil sands in Fort McMurray.
	I'm going to be losing my job here at the end of this set.
	It's already cost me a lot.
	I'm not allowed to, like, it's a fly-in camp job.
	The government won't let me fly.
	It costs me about $1,000 a month right now just to get to work.
	I got to drive all the way.
	How long is the drive?
	It's like seven, eight hours.
	Holy shit.
	I used to know a couple girls that used to go up there and clean their camps.
	Oh, yeah.
	They would van him in and they would go clean the housing for all these guys and everything up in the oil fields.
	And they'd probably fuck them for.
	Oh, yeah, sure.
	They were wild chicks.
	They were wild chicks.
	Well, you know, sir, I feel bad for you, but that's the price you pay for being a Nazi.
	Yeah, I know, right?
	So anyway, everyone's really excited.
	Like, up where I work, because it's such a high-paying job and it's a fly-in, fly-out thing, like, most of the people have got vaccinated, even the guys who didn't want to.
	But even the guys who got vaccinated, they're all, for the most part, pretty happy to see the truckers and all that stuff going on.
	But yeah, it's pretty crazy to think.
	You must be tempted to get the vaccine.
	What prevents you from getting it?
	I just, based on my research, I just don't think it's safe.
	Like, my direct supervisor, they had an on-site vaccine clinic.
	He got the vaccine back in May or April.
	He just got back to work.
	It almost killed him.
	And they wouldn't even give him an exemption for the second dose.
	He had a blood clot or whatever.
	He was off work for like six months.
	Yeah, there's a lot of vaccine injury.
	So they would not give him an exemption for the second dose.
	That's fucking amazing.
	They made him get another one.
	Wow, thanks for watching.
	I know all kinds of people that have all kinds of stuff.
	All right, thanks for calling, buddy.
	I saw this video of this woman.
	So she has a one-year-old and a three-year-old, right?
	The one-year-old's still breastfeeding.
	The three-year-old, they're horsing around.
	He falls, hardening his arm.
	He can't move his arm.
	She thinks it's broken.
	She drives.
	It would be like the equivalent of us going to Stanford, Connecticut.
	So it's like a 40-minute drive.
	She gets there.
	She goes, I just want an x-ray.
	I'm worried about my kid.
	I think he may have broken his forearm.
	He really took a tumble and he's crying.
	And we got it wrapped up.
	And they go, okay, no problem.
	Yep, we'll take care of that.
	Fill all the forms.
	The kids don't have to be vaccinated.
	They're one and three.
	But she's not vaccinated.
	And they go, are you vaccinated?
	And she goes, no.
	And then they go, why not?
	Which is like, what?
	And she goes, well, I'll die in every reason.
	I just didn't want to do it.
	And they go, okay.
	And then they go back and forth.
	There's some mumbling in the back rooms.
	And they go, you can't come into this hospital.
	And she goes, okay, well, I'm a guardian.
	She's wearing a fucking mask.
	Yeah.
	Well, I'm a guardian of these children.
	And they go, well, they can't be alone.
	And now you are not vaccinated.
	So you can't leave them here.
	So they're going to have to go.
	So she takes her kid with its broken arm back in the car.
	And she's like, where do I go?
	Like, where do I get my kid x-rayed at the vet?
	Jesus Christ, we're down With animals now.
	Yeah, I've seen a similar story about that.
	About a guy, they took him off the transplant last year, refused to give him a.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That was like a couple days ago, I seen it.
	But there's a risk of myocarditis.
	He's clearly immunocompromised.
	He's waiting for a fucking heart.
	Yeah.
	And they purposely lower your immune system so your body doesn't reject if and when you do get look at this.
	Minor detail.
	Minor.
	Did everyone hear that at home?
	Minor detail.
	When you're awake.
	Kidney transplant, transplant.
	Kidney transplant, liver transplant, kill your immune system so you'll take the heart.
	But if you have a shitty immune system, you don't want the vaccine.
	Right.
	You're going to get myocarditis.
	You're going to get a million problems.
	Well, you're open to a lot of cancers and stuff like that because you're more susceptible because your immune system's not.
	That's why I was so concerned about Gavin Newsome photographing himself with Magic Johnson.
	The guy just had fucking AIDS.
	He had acquired immune deficiency syndrome.
	Vaccine refusal removes boss and patient from heart transplant waitlist.
	As it should.
	Wow.
	Fuck them all.
	I'm going to do this show as the other side.
	Like the Nazis have descended upon Ottawa.
	It's disgusting.
	Thank God we're not giving a heart to some fucking asshole.
	Oh, there it is.
	Look.
	Yeah.
	Oh, that's ingredient.
	Good.
	A woman wasn't able to spread COVID in a hospital just because her fucking stupid cunt child hurt his arm.
	This is from the Atlantic.
	Surprisingly, it's a terrible idea to deny medical care to unvaccinated people.
	Hot take.
	Oh, hot take.
	Well, these should be illegal.
	These radical leftist sources like Newsweek, Newsweek's already gone alt-right.
	But CNN is headed that way too.
	And The Atlantic is because it pays the bills.
	I mean, what is The Guardian?
	Where do they stand?
	The Guardian is radical left, but I think that can last because it's Britain.
	Britain will tolerate radical leftism.
	But America, like there's this big controversy now that Juliani was on the unmasked singer.
	Yeah.
	And a judge walked out.
	I'm not sure who it was.
	Because he took off his mask.
	And they go, why did they do that?
	Why did they try to normalize a fascist like Giuliani?
	And you're like, shithead, America's 50-50 with this right-left shit.
	So they want to make money for ratings.
	So they'll have a bunch of lefties and a bunch of righties.
	They'll have Tucker Carlson.
	They'll have fucking Chris Hayes.
	They're just trying to please people because they want to get paid, which is a good thing.
	Earning a living.
	But it hasn't, the way that a lot of these people see, a lot of these critics see America is there's good people like Chris Hayes and there's evil murdering fascists who eat fucking innocent babies like Tucker Carlson.
	That was Jenny McCarthy?
	You can't do that.
	I don't get that show, by the way.
	I can't tell your voice by how you sing.
	It could be Maddie O'Dell and Ryan Rivera.
	I've never watched this show.
	I'd have no idea.
	I have a very distinct singing voice.
	Okay, let's hear it.
	Yo!
	Like that.
	Highs and lows.
	Try to guess if this is me.
	It's my life.
	It's now or never.
	I'm going to leave.
	I don't know who that is.
	You have to get up and protest.
	Plus, I'm in a mask.
	So you're hearing, it's my life.
	It's now or never.
	Did you see the newest one?
	If not even people.
	Oh, it's like a digital.
	Did you got them suits with all the golf balls on them?
	And then there's like a hologram of some avatar person.
	So you have to guess by the voice.
	Oh, it's...
	I can't guess by the voice.
	Alter ego.
	I can recognize Michael Jackson's voice.
	And that's about it.
	This one's even nuttier.
	Maybe Wolfman Jack?
	This is so gay, so weird.
	I hate the future.
	He's not even a person on his face.
	I hate the future.
	This is freaking nutty nuts.
	Fox is making television history and bringing you the worst.
	Who is anybody these days?
	Who are these people?
	Alter ego, first look.
	Look.
	Why do you feel like you need an alter ego?
	There's something about how I look behind this alter ego that I feel like it's held me back.
	Lost dreams and second chances are reignited when singers from all of them into the metaverse.
	If they interview them, I kind of get it.
	There's something there.
	But they're interviewing.
	Why did you chop your ex-wife's head off?
	Well, you know, okay, people.
	This is all conditioning for the metaverse.
	That's right.
	That's what the fucking stupid shit is.
	Yeah.
	Leave your body, spend time in the verse, brah.
	Yeah.
	Kenny Hotz is releasing Kenny vs.
	Penny 4K on YouTube.
	What was your relationship?
	Jesus Christ.
	It never ends.
	I just watched this, too.
	I know Kenny Hotz tangentially were good.
	We were good friends.
	I don't know how he feels about me now.
	He probably thinks I'm a Nazi.
	I like the guy.
	I was on an episode of his show.
	It's like, did I fuck Lady Die?
	Why does this keep coming up?
	I watched it.
	It was good.
	It's not even that popular of a show.
	It's a very niche type of show.
	It's like the people who watch Kenny vs.
	Spenny are the people who send questions to things and comment on stuff.
	What was your relationship like?
	We were good pals.
	We laughed a lot.
	I haven't talked to him in a long time, but I consider him a very funny dude.
	Let's see what Steve has to say.
	941.
	Fuck.
	Go ahead, Steve.
	Hey, Gavin.
	Hey, man.
	First of all, I can't hear Maddie on the phone, so it sounds like my older brother yelling at me from a different room.
	Can you hear me?
	Okay, let's fix that.
	I can hear you.
	Oh, you can hear me?
	This is Maddie.
	Oh, okay.
	Now I can hear you.
	Wow, weird.
	Yeah, on Holdy Camp.
	But yeah, so he's starting to release all this shit on 4K.
	I love that show, Kenny vs.
	Spenny.
	And I saw him on Louis J. Gomez's podcast, and they're apparently trying to reignite it or something.
	And just your thought that your episode is not uploaded on 4K.
	Oh, okay.
	A little slight throw machine thrown on you.
	That's not 4K with me.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it's a bit of a...
	Hey, by the way, I'm so mad that I can't share sense.
	I'm banned from Facebook right now because I literally just typed censored.tv.
	Wow.
	I believe it.
	To try to share it.
	So where did you type it, in a post or in a DM?
	Post.
	Huh.
	Wow.
	And now you're banned.
	It immediately, immediately, I'm on a ban where it says, like, you are restricted.
	It's going to the bottom of the news feed.
	So I'm fully restricted, but yeah.
	We have to come up with an alternate URL that's like, you know, innocent stuff.
	I tried sharing Indian Joker face.
	Wow.
	Is it temporarily banned or are you banned forever?
	Like I said, it pushes my, whatever I post now goes to.
	Facebook told me goes to the bottom of the face.
	I guess you're like shadow banned.
	Shadow banned.
	So you're not really banned.
	You can still use your Facebook.
	Yeah, Facebook's gay.
	You're hidden.
	You're hidden.
	I mean, I used to talk to family.
	And everybody thought Indian Joker face ruled, and that's the funniest thing.
	Thank God for these YouTube channels, man.
	Stop uploading 22-minute videos, you fucking assholes.
	Come on.
	Subscribe, you cunts.
	No, I like that the YouTube guys are putting up these short videos.
	I'm back.
	In a way, it's almost like you never left.
	It's like.
	What were you saying, sir?
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	Yeah.
	My youngest boy has started doing Indian Joker face, and he's so bad.
	He's just like.
	Also, kids, when they do Indian Joker face, they go.
	So you can't even see.
	It's like, dude, I need to see you.
	You have to get the perfect angle.
	You need to be like.
	Oh, fuck.
	I'm going to put you on mute, sir.
	847, you are on mute.
	We have a VIP calling in.
	Uh-oh.
	Fucking.
	Baby bro.
	Fucking.
	You know, I think it's somebody else.
	Fucking Cody Canuck.
	Hey, what's up, Cody?
	Yo, what's up?
	I just want to say that the fucking truckers are fucking heroes, man.
	And the fucking support is overwhelming.
	The tides have fucking turned.
	All the shit that we fucking unvaccinated people have been taking over these past how many months?
	The shit's fucking changing.
	And it's hard to ignore now.
	You see people out on the streets, people on fucking overpasses and shit, big Canadian flags.
	I'm in Calgary here.
	And just want to say, the little brothers ticking your ass, motherfuckers.
	So you think it's cool to wave a Nazi flag in the capital of the country and a Confederate flag promoting slavery?
	Is that what's good to you?
	That's cool to you?
	I do not think that's cool, but that's obviously been fucking set up.
	Well, I think they're all Nazis.
	They're clearly there to deny the Holocaust and to say that we should still have slavery in America.
	It's Canadians concerned about American history and German history.
	If there's one thing that truckers care about, it's the way World War II was done and the way the American Civil War was done.
	That's their top two things.
	They want to shut up about it.
	That's definitely something that we were all thinking about when Trump came out vaccine.
	There's no fucking way of taking this vaccine because, you know, the fucking Jews and all, right?
	Yeah.
	The Jews.
	Are you going to do some on-the-street reporting?
	Fucking, I don't know how far Calgary is from anything, but it's in the middle.
	Thanks for calling, buddy.
	Appreciate it.
	Yeah.
	Easy.
	Take her easy.
	Let's go back to my brother KY.
	All right, let's see where he be.
	You know, they tried to stop, to try to pass a law saying that the Canadians couldn't stand on the side or try to block any robots.
	Oh, can you turn the mic a little bit towards you again?
	Oh, sorry, sorry.
	We lost you.
	Yeah.
	They banned it in Nova Scotia.
	Well, Trudeau is trying to push this War Measures Act, which sounds good.
	That's a war measure.
	That must be important.
	And it's to prevent shit like this.
	It's him enacting tyrannical power.
	I heard he's in fucking America.
	I wouldn't doubt it.
	Probably a Camp David.
	Him the old Biden starter.
	He's such a fucking pussy.
	Well, my brother went camping with him.
	We should bring that up.
	Are you calling my brother?
	Yep.
	Doom, dean, doom.
	Motherfucker.
	Motherfucker.
	Skype shut down in a class action lawsuit because people discovered that the xylophone sound actually is the word motherfucker.
	Yes.
	Doom dean doom.
	Motherfucker.
	Hey, man.
	What's going on, KY?
	yeah, I'm still walking around.
	Got to enable that video fuck.
	Oh, there we go.
	It's colder than a witch's teeth out here.
	No way, eh?
	Now, you went camping with Justin Trudeau once, did you not?
	I did, yeah.
	I went with his family.
	And so you went on a river trip with canoes, which sounds scary to me.
	I don't know how you follow those maps.
	But I've told this story 100 times, but he was concerned that a campfire would impact the carbon footprint of the trip.
	Yeah, he thought a carbon footprint was a literal footprint of carbon.
	Ash.
	Now, I brought this up on the show and readers sent in, they said, a fire, like burning wood, is the same like net value of carbon emission as the wood in the forest moldy and rotting.
	It's the same amount of carbon dioxide.
	You're not fucking with anything.
	Go ahead.
	Burn it up.
	You haven't changed anything.
	Yeah, I mean, not only that, he also took a canoe with all of our food barrels down a waterfall that we were supposed to portage around and lost all our food barrels.
	So for the last three days of the trip, we were eating nuts and beef jerky.
	And in hindsight, I'm thinking, isn't that just such a perfect metaphor for him as a prime minister?
	He just goes down a waterfall and by his own incompetence, loses all of the food.
	Wait, this is fucking gold, and we're losing you because the mic is spazzing out and the video is gone.
	Ryan, what's going on with the mic there?
	Is that Kyle's fault?
	I don't know.
	The last caller had that, but then the caller afterwards didn't.
	Okay.
	We can try to...
	Ryan's fucking up somehow.
	So you guys had canoes and you had a lot of different things to put in each canoe.
	Justin Trudeau's canoe had the food and he's rowing away and he's like, I think I'll take this turn.
	And you're like, dude, what are you doing?
	He's off a waterfall and turfs all the food.
	Yeah, and not only that, we're like, the map says you can't go down this waterfall.
	You have to portage.
	Can you at least give us the food before you go down?
	And he's like, no, I'm out.
	I got it.
	I got this.
	So he ignored the portage.
	He took the waterfall under his own wing.
	And just like Canada, he fucking destroyed everything.
	By the end of the week-long canoe trip, we were all so hungry.
	Oh my God.
	Yeah.
	How many more days after he blew all your food off the waterfall were you camping?
	A good three days.
	Three days.
	Yeah.
	Jeez.
	Yeah, we had to stop at places and try and fish for extra food because we were so hungry.
	Oh, my God.
	That's the future of Canada in a nutshell.
	Nuts, beef jerky, and they had to fish for the rest.
	What's up, guys?
	Who's that?
	Yeah.
	Oh, just everywhere I'm going, it's just good people saying what's up.
	It happens that I'm carrying around this giant Canada flag.
	Oh, because the flag.
	Can you go up to someone and say, let's go, Brandon?
	Yeah.
	Let's just say it to everyone.
	Let's go, Brandon!
	That girl didn't seem like the right.
	Wrong demographic there.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	What about, oh, these truckers, for sure.
	Yeah.
	Holy fuck, man.
	My head is frozen.
	Don't be a pussy.
	Come on, come on.
	What about this guy?
	Nobody there.
	No one there.
	He's in his little bed.
	Yeah.
	Oh, shit.
	Freedom convoy.
	Anyone in here?
	No?
	Well, they're not going to be in the driver's seat.
	They're jerking off.
	Where are all your friends, Kyle?
	You don't have any friends?
	Let's go, Brandon.
	He didn't really seem to get it.
	No, that's the Mexicans that they paid to show the driveway.
	I'm Todd.
	We're not letting you go until we get a Let's Go Brandon.
	It could be all night.
	This could be the new telephone.
	The police.
	That's too sketchy.
	One in 10 chance, I'd say.
	One in 20, maybe.
	You think?
	Yeah.
	Isn't it weird how in the States we wear Canada Goose, but over there you wear the American.
	No.
	No.
	Is it weird we wear Canada Goose here, but over there they wear American Eagle?
	Great joke, Ryan.
	That was awesome.
	Are you the only person there?
	This is like Johnny LaRue on SCTV doing his fucking Christmas goodbyes, New Year's Eve thing.
	I think I'm actually getting frostbite on my hand right now.
	Can we see your hands?
	This is cool.
	We're watching my brother die of hypothermia live uncensored.
	This is good for ratings.
	Let's see the hands.
	It's so cool.
	Let's see your little blue hands.
	Oh, ow.
	Yeah, that's it.
	Put them in your office.
	They said, yep.
	They did?
	That guy's wearing fucking shorts.
	They said it.
	Was he wearing shorts?
	Oh, my God.
	Hey, can you guys hold my flag for a second so I can put my glove on?
	I think I'm dying of frostbite here.
	You're dying of being a pussy fuck.
	Oh, you don't want to put it on the ground.
	That's admirable.
	Hell yeah.
	So cold.
	All right, Kyle.
	Thanks for coming on the show.
	Thanks for making those guys say, let's go, Brandon.
	Rock on, buddy.
	Okay.
	Cold, Timmy.
	My brother on the phone.
	Just the trail-off.
	The trail-off tears.
	Brian, let's read a letter or two.
	Only read the ones that I have flagged.
	Oh, kidokie.
	And there's this on the screen in case you want to read that while I do this.
	I have a new thing I've noticed.
	Do you guys think women's foreheads are getting bigger?
	Interesting.
	I can't tell you how many pictures I've seen of a beautiful young woman where her forehead is this big.
	And she's like, I don't remember girls having foreheads this big.
	I was the lead designer of a major fitness app company for three years.
	Just got canceled because some high-profile influencers complained about comments you made on social media.
	They dropped me faster than hot potato.
	I believe I quoted Gavin on YouTube.
	Get me on air.
	Tell the story.
	Okay, Zerp.
	Come on up.
	Yeah, call in and say you're Zerp.
	I think I saw you in the mailbag.
	You said you quoted me saying trans people are just mentally ill-gays.
	Shouldn't it be beholden on the outraged to prove what you say is false?
	True.
	If I say dogs are cats, which is not offensive, I'm sure you can go to a thing that goes, no, dogs are lorem ipsum savantos.
	Canines.
	Canines.
	And the other ones are felines.
	And cats are felines.
	So Gavin's wrong.
	But if you say trans are just mentally okay, before you are allowed the privilege of being offended, you have to prove that they're not mentally okays.
	And I don't think you can do that.
	I don't think you can do that.
	So fuck you.
	Yeah.
	Like with the Joe Rogan thing, I got in big trouble for saying I don't think that Muslims are compatible with the West because they have an inbreeding problem with the first cousins.
	And it went, oh, he thinks Muslims shouldn't be allowed in America because they're all inbreds.
	Well, it's not exactly what I said, but prove me wrong.
	Mental health challenges are common.
	In fact, one in five people will experience mental illness, blah, blah, blah.
	41% have attempted suicide.
	Holy shit.
	Wow.
	41% have attempted suicide.
	Imagine you were at a bar and 41% of the clientele had attempted suicide.
	You'd go, I don't know what the fuck is going on with this place, but I think there's something wrong with the pipe.
	If you're in Seattle, you're...
	It's not a healthy environment.
	It's not a good environment.
	I'm not going there.
	The odds are one and two, I kill myself if I go into this bar.
	I'm not going into that bar.
	Yeah.
	It's almost 50-50.
	That's not good.
	Oh, no.
	We've been served.
	Is being transgender a mental illness?
	No.
	For years, though, gender identity disorders was listed as sexual dysfunction.
	Unbelievable.
	People used to think it was, but it's not.
	Oh, really?
	Why not?
	Well, it was thought that.
	Now, mental health professionals don't think it's a mental illness.
	What did he say there?
	What's the second part?
	CFAC.
	Dystopia.
	Now, have a better understanding of the challenges.
	Dysphoria.
	The mental challenge.
	Being a transgender person.
	There's a social condition known as gender dysphoria.
	They may.
	It's not a mental illness, but people who have it suffer from mental illnesses.
	Oh, okay.
	That's great.
	You're not sick if you want to fuck kids, but people who fuck kids are sick.
	We have a racism bumper somebody sent in.
	And he said you could fade it out kind of whenever.
	Yeah, you got to fade that out very early.
	But that's pretty fun.
	Yeah, that's fun.
	That was nice.
	And that was from Long Hands.
	Thanks, Longhands.
	Thanks, Longhands.
	That was great.
	We will be using that in the future.
	Final fight.
	Final video fight.
	Four minutes of utter entertainment, they say.
	Fight porn.
	I have not seen...
	This is probably a good subreddit to fight.
	I don't watch Fight Porn, but I should.
	I'm going to make that a bookmark.
	Fight porn.
	You can tell.
	Oh!
	Stop looking away, dude.
	He keeps looking dead.
	Wait, what happened there?
	He slept.
	Oh.
	The drunken master over here.
	Whoa, hey, there we go.
	See what happens when you open your eyes and you look at the guy?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Eye the target, buddy.
	He heard you.
	He's totally phased, too.
	That's why he's walking away.
	You got to recover.
	Believe this bullshit.
	This looks like where Billy Bragg started his career.
	Is everybody like...
	Is this like...
	Why is the woman still in the mix after getting clocked?
	I think that's a new woman.
	No, I don't think it is.
	Look, they're all getting their stances up.
	I'm pretty sure the other woman's like over here hurting.
	No.
	It's like the girl standing in front of the bull.
	See, I love white fights because you don't have to worry about anyone getting stabbed in the neck.
	This is all good old-fashioned punches.
	How fucking bad are you?
	Good old-fashioned drunk fight.
	Is this like four times gravity everybody's experiencing?
	Why is everybody else?
	Oh, that's a good move.
	Oh, almost.
	Why are you getting dragged?
	He rocked them.
	This is enjoyable.
	They're probably best baits.
	Okay, I need another.
	To make this video worth it, we need a good ending.
	We could fast forward a little a wee bit.
	Oh, shirt's coming off.
	I'm surprised the polis hasn't showed up.
	They're bored.
	Wait, is that a fucking police officer with the yellow vest?
	I don't know.
	It could be a security guard.
	Could be anything.
	Could be a traffic guy.
	He keeps trying to throw him down these couple of stairs.
	Yeah, that's not going to do much.
	Oh, oh my god.
	Did the glass smash?
	Oh, oh.
	That looks like a cop, dude.
	What's a cop, dude?
	Away from the shop.
	He's five feet tall.
	Probably security guard.
	Wait, he's a security guard, and that's all he's concerned about.
	Away from the shop.
	Keep away from the shop.
	That's my job.
	Keep away from Marks and Sparks.
	I hear you got your gear from Marks and Sparks.
	Oh!
	Such a great punch, and then he loses it.
	By overthrowing.
	A new guy enters the room.
	Get out of here, black man.
	We're watching a great fight.
	Respect your elders with you.
	Is a black bloke a Blake?
	Yes.
	Get out of here, Blake.
	What are you on about?
	Why are you mucking about?
	Put your shirt on.
	Calm down.
	Meanwhile, the police are doing nothing.
	Yeah.
	And we got a Seek.
	Ah.
	Fuck.
	This is getting interesting.
	I watched that all night.
	One black guy, a Seek, and two drunk white guys.
	We got it.
	They all walk into a bar.
	They ruin a fight instantly.
	Okay, lots of...
	Let's go back.
	Can we go back?
	What's that?
	Well, I felt like you skipped three.
	No, no, no.
	Those repeats.
	Could you ask your wife if she'd be interested in a poly relationship?
	It could be Ryan, me, you, and Maddie, all in one big loving quinche.
	Yeah, I'm into that.
	I don't know if Hubert's a male, I guess, right?
	So it's me, Ryan, Maddie, and Hubert, and my wife.
	So it's four dudes plugging my wife.
	Sounds great.
	Who would have a problem with that?
	Polyamorous.
	I guess that's one more than a thruple.
	Maddie, did you see MS-13 got plugged in Bloody Beaumont this week?
	Two died.
	They slammed everyone down in all feds.
	Also, what car did you run with?
	81 or New York or both?
	A lot of questions here, Maddie.
	How do you...
	He's asking what car that means.
	Like, who'd you ride with in prison?
	Like, who was your squad?
	The place I did the most time, I was the only Hells Angel air at the time when I was in the club.
	But I hung out with a bunch of mostly New York guys.
	But like my core workout partner, he was from West Virginia.
	He was country.
	Zeldin.
	I used to call him country because I couldn't understand a fucking answer.
	What does 81 mean?
	Well, that's 81 is like a nickname for the Hells Angels.
	H is the eighth letter of the alphabet, and A is the first.
	So you'll see like support church.
	They say, support your local 81.
	Oh, I see.
	Yeah.
	And what does that mean?
	How do they both, how do they politic in feds?
	Every time people ask you questions, it sounds like they're accusing you of stolen unvalor.
	Well, you know, for the most part, what happens on the street stays in the streets, so there's like no beef really, unless it's personal within the places I were at.
	Like there was an outlaw there, there was a pagan.
	Wait, the places I rat?
	So you would rat certain?
	The places I was at.
	Oh, okay.
	Yeah.
	Jake.
	Just kidding.
	Just kidding.
	That's a joke.
	I went to trial and if I can go look that up.
	Yes.
	Ratty's not a ratty.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, they locked the whole country down for that yesterday, the other day.
	This guy comments just this and sends in some of the things.
	Yes, I'm familiar with him.
	He's great.
	Okay, S, five bucks.
	Thanks.
	Brian, you're a funny dude.
	Why do you dress like a gay?
	Great question.
	I appreciate that question.
	I'd love to know.
	I don't agree.
	Why does he wear Timberlands?
	Hey, guys, you think the reason me nor my husband haven't had any variant of COVID is due to the fact that neither of us have ever had a flu shot?
	Ooh.
	Maybe.
	You know how many people died from the flu shot every year?
	Qui.
	Like 10.
	I've had a flu shot for like the last time.
	Like spider bites, like snake bites.
	Hundreds of thousands of flu shots.
	Pretty much no deaths.
	The vaccine?
	Like 19,000.
	Tens of thousands.
	More people died from the flu shits.
	Like 1,000 a month, basically, die from the flax.
	I think it was like 19,000 total.
	The vaccine.
	So, yeah, the flu shot.
	And I was never into the flu shot because as I learned from Robin Quivers, my number one news source on Howard Stern, it provides you three weeks of protection.
	Okay.
	What about if I around someone with the flu after 24 days?
	I've gotten so many vaccines in my life.
	Not even counting like all the measles, the mom's rubella and stuff when you're a kid, but I've gotten hepatitis vaccines.
	I've gotten like pneumococcal pneumonia vaccines.
	But you're in a unique situation because you have a heart problem.
	So myocarditis is a risk.
	But your team of doctors who are devoted to keeping you alive tell you to get the vaccine.
	What about like a fourth booster?
	Like, do you just do whatever they say?
	Me personally, I've only gotten the first two.
	I had Pfizer.
	What if they called you and said, we want you to get a booster?
	I tell them no at this point.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	Dude.
	I don't feel I need it because I had both.
	I had the original COVID.
	And you had Omicron.
	And I had Omicron.
	Yeah, you're a do prisoners not have the option to not get vaccinated?
	Who?
	Because they belong.
	Prisoners.
	Do prisoners have to be mandatory vaccinated?
	I don't think so.
	Well, Mercedes would have to do that.
	They would have to get a court order for them to be the BOP.
	Oh, no, that's what the law says, but what really happens.
	Right.
	Like Mercedes tells me about them being used as human experiments.
	Wow, fuck all that.
	And it's in San Bernardino where it's all illegals.
	There's no like...
	California.
	Yeah, there's no like rising up and telling the media what happened.
	It's not like New York where there's people who care about you who will report.
	No one gives a fuck what anyone's San Bernardino.
	We got a caller on the line called Joe Kukamunga.
	Caller 602.
	You're on the line.
	Maybe you got to say hey to a man.
	Joe Rogan is here, by the way, if anyone wants to ask him any questions.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, you can ask me anything you want.
	Pull that shit up, James.
	Caller?
	That's actually a pretty good one.
	Thanks.
	William Walter.
	William Walter?
	Is there Braveheart?
	Abest the Testing Tube 8.
	602.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	What's going on, 602?
	Yeah, I'm glad that you're going to be debating Destiny.
	I don't...
	I'm not glad.
	I don't know why I have to talk to you.
	Have you done any research on him?
	Do you know him at all?
	Nope.
	No idea who he is.
	I know he's a child.
	Do you want any fun facts on him to use an adjustment?
	Sure, let's get some gossip.
	Yeah, give me one second.
	I'm going to reach out to you.
	Why is the speaker fucking up?
	It's embarrassing.
	I'm thinking, I'm going to close Skype.
	I think maybe because we're pulling from two audio sources.
	So let me try to drop one out.
	Okay, connected as the host.
	Good, good, good.
	Yes, it's just yesterday.
	You are now in the host.
	Okay, sounds good.
	All right, thank you.
	All right, thank you very much.
	All right, fantastic.
	Thank you.
	Okay.
	You still there, Caller?
	Yeah, I'm still here.
	Fuck.
	Do you hear your audio sounding like shit?
	Like I do?
	So I hear you the best, barely hear Maddie, don't hear Ryan at all?
	Well, the good news is that Ryan doesn't come in here when he doesn't have to, and he doesn't fix problems like this.
	So we learn about these problems live on the air.
	Okay, let me get through this list before we lose it.
	Go ahead.
	So basically, he doesn't know anything about you.
	His chat knows nothing about the Proud Boys or the origin.
	Even though anytime they're brought up, they're considered the worst thing ever.
	He will always be playing a video game when he's debating you.
	That's rude.
	He's in an open relationship.
	He doesn't believe in the replacement theory, but he went all the way to Sweden to get his wife.
	Wait, what's the replacement theory meaning what is exactly the replacement theory?
	Well, no, just he laughs at the concept of like, you know, any Western country being forced immigration.
	Right, okay.
	It's not something I really care about, but it's just something he laughs at, but then he goes to the whitest country and then gets a blonde wife.
	Right.
	Okay, so he was one of the first ones to really pioneer politics on Twitch.
	He created Vosh.
	He got Hassan Piker kind of his start.
	Even though Piker was with the Young Turts, Destiny got him going on Twitch.
	He's from Omaha.
	He spent a ton of money trying to get this guy to win the Last Mer race, but they actually use his opponents used Destiny as kind of like a pariah and kind of sunk that race for him.
	And he gave Biden an A- for his first year in office.
	All right.
	Thank you for the tips, and thank you for calling.
	All right, bro.
	Appreciate it.
	Ryan, what the fuck is going on with this shit?
	I'm clicking a bunch of things.
	Okay.
	I got my brother literally dying of hypothermia in Ottawa.
	And all we hear is it's not cool.
	I'm sorry.
	Got a new driver this week.
	Can you rate my swing?
	Okay.
	Well, here's the key to swinging a golf club.
	If you look cool, you're doing it wrong.
	It looks cool to bend your arms and go whack and then wig back.
	If you look like a retarded, awkward robot, then you're doing a good swing.
	If your left arm is perfectly straight and you're not spinning around like a cool guy, then you're doing a good swing.
	The uncooler your swing is, the better it is.
	So let's watch his left arm.
	Ooh, wow.
	That was fucking fast.
	He crushed it.
	That looks like it's going 300 yards.
	My grandfather's swing looks...
	You ever see the swings?
	Wait, I want to see that again.
	Yeah, so do I. That was nice.
	And I guess he got all the momentum from his wrist.
	From the hips.
	Let's go nice and slow.
	Okay, do it in slow motion.
	Do it frame by frame.
	Okay.
	Can you do that?
	Oh, yes.
	Play pots, play pots, play pots.
	You press the period button.
	The period button?
	So let's bring it back.
	That's a Jamaican's worst nightmare.
	I don't press that.
	Wow.
	So look at that.
	Left arm rice and straight.
	He gets all his momentum from the bending of the wrist.
	He's getting his hips in there.
	Breaks the wrist.
	This is where the power starts.
	Fucking whack.
	And it just vanishes.
	Straight now.
	I think that's 300 yards.
	I think that is out of the park.
	That is beautiful, dude.
	I want to suck your dick.
	Yeah, me too.
	Maddie and Ryan and I want to.
	Is there such a thing as a triple blowjum?
	Maddie could have your ball.
	I'll film.
	No, no, no.
	No.
	Why would you just film?
	Suck a dick.
	Come on, man.
	So it just stuck with Ryan and I. Maddie's filming.
	Ryan, you put his balls in your mouth, and I'm just going to fucking and I'll do this too.
	I'll do like the wide.
	Like the wide.
	Do you ever have a chick barf on your dick and you're like, no.
	I wasn't really, I don't mean literally barf, but like, oh.
	Yeah.
	But you're like, but I wasn't really going deep when you did the.
	Is it possible you're barfing at sucking my dick?
	Like my pube stank or something?
	Because I understand like I hit your gag reflex, but the time when you went, I wasn't near your gag reflex.
	Is it possible I'm grossing you out?
	But you can't say that.
	You can't be like, was that because you gagged or because my dick's gross?
	Because I didn't clean it.
	Because I'm pretty sure I cleaned it before we got here.
	We got fucking this thing on the screen.
	G-Dog Maddie and Fag Lord.
	I need your advice.
	I'm a 29.
	I am 29 and am over being a literal faggot.
	I want to find a wife, start a family, raise kids, basically be a good Western man.
	I owe this becoming aware of the sad, self-indulgent life of queers, returning to the Catholic faith.
	All right.
	Very simple, Danny.
	Get out there.
	Get out.
	Start playing the field.
	Get out of your house.
	Maybe the secret is get a studio apartment where it's just a bed and a TV.
	And you're like, I don't want to be in here.
	Like, eat out.
	I don't mean pussy, but yeah, eat that out too.
	But like, eat out, go to bars, go to clubs.
	If you're not a drinker, I don't know.
	Have some fucking hobby club train thing, whatever, political activism, whatever.
	Get out of the house.
	Don't beat off.
	Put it in the porn.
	Another key, stay away from porn.
	Get out there.
	Experience life.
	Play the field.
	You got to play the numbers.
	Yeah, you got to get out there.
	And here's another thing.
	Don't be like, I got to get some fucking pussy.
	Just be like, I'm going to socialize.
	Say you're socializing with a bunch of dudes.
	There's going to be chicks in there.
	No matter how dude-oriented the thing is, say it's like car racing at night.
	There's going to be chicks involved in that.
	No matter how male your thing is, like buying and selling transmissions, you're still going to end up with chicks somewhere down the line.
	So like, get out of your fucking house.
	Stop playing video games.
	Would you interview Mark Ripito?
	He's a popular strength coach who knows how you can beef up your Grover arms.
	These aren't...
	These are no longer Grovers.
	They look good.
	Those are Grover's shoulders.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Just when he's starting to feel good.
	Yeah, just when he's.
	He's not Grover's shoulders.
	This is the biggest it's been since I've had this show.
	He's also a fan of Proud Boys.
	Check out his YouTube channel.
	He looks like a Proud Boy, doesn't he?
	He looks pissed.
	How tall are you?
	How tall are you, you piece of shit?
	You fucking bitch.
	58220.
	5x220?
	Fuck you.
	He's got an accent or no?
	You sound like a shit I took.
	And you think it's too heavy?
	You're a fucking bitch.
	You know what?
	You can sick people like you.
	This guy's awesome already.
	He's got like a North Carolina, not Southern, but Southern thing.
	Yeah, he's like the Dave Ramsey for muscles.
	So what you're going to want to do, stop being a fucking bitch.
	Fuck you.
	Yeah.
	I feel like he's always about to hang up on the caller.
	We've only watched him for three seconds.
	Hey, big fan.
	You have all these opinions on him.
	Mark, we're a big fan.
	Here's another thing.
	You're a fucking fag.
	He leaves the show pretty much.
	You like monkeys?
	Because if you don't, you can go fuck yourself.
	That knife.
	You got a monkey with a knife holding a chicken.
	My monkey would slit your throat and stuff a chicken up your ass, you pussy.
	You see this?
	That's me, the monkey with the knife.
	You, you're the fucking bitch-ass hand.
	Next caller.
	Just pissed.
	You have any idea?
	That's what I measured.
	Hey, don't judge me.
	That's him.
	He said that.
	23?
	That's a gay age.
	I can live with 23, but I'm 65.
	So you're going to IF.
	28-year-old.
	All right, I got a question.
	When does IF become just not eating breakfast?
	Anybody know the answer?
	Good question.
	I just eat a big dinner pretty much.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, you're just not eating breakfast.
	You do an IF too, Rip.
	Don't you?
	Yeah.
	Usually.
	What's IF?
	Intermittent fasting.
	No, he's right, though, because, I mean, if you have your meal late at night and then you just fucking don't eat breakfast, that's just don't eating breakfast.
	But you have to give yourself a couple hours before you go to bed to do the intermittent fasting.
	Larry Barnes says that.
	It's tough.
	It's really tough.
	Larry Barnes doesn't want you eating anything close to bedtime.
	Like 6 p.m., final meal.
	Well, the thing is, if you understand what breakfast, the word is derived from, it's break fast.
	Yes.
	So if you wake up at noon, so say you woke up at noon and you ate your first meal at 4 o'clock in the afternoon and you ate your last meal at like 3 o'clock in the morning, you're fine.
	Because you still have that window from 3 in the morning to whenever you're going to start eating at 4 o'clock the next day.
	It's like you have an 8-hour window, so that means you have a 16-hour fast.
	There you go, bud.
	I don't recommend the intermittent.
	Not for...
	I don't know.
	I'm torn.
	Rip torn.
	You got that sexy.
	Wow, that bruise on your ribs is really good.
	Is that from the...
	Am I still bruised on my ribs?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Can I poke it?
	Oh, that one there?
	Yeah.
	Is that from the one you got from that thing?
	I don't know what the fuck that's from.
	Dude.
	It might be bladder cancer.
	Yeah, it might be tenelliitis.
	Where you make shit up and then it exists.
	Couldn't be good.
	Probably a, you know, were you dancing this week?
	Were you moving?
	Nope.
	No?
	No sparring?
	I haven't sparred since December when I got my ribs crunched.
	Yeah.
	Tarzan 1000.
	Yeah, what is that?
	Is that bad?
	Folks at home, can you diagnose this, please?
	It looks like a bruise.
	Well, we have a doctor, but we...
	Just go see Joe.
	He can diagnose you.
	Yo.
	Seriously?
	Next thing you know, it'll be a PA.
	So this is what they said in ER.
	They said that I had to have my kidneys replaced because there's so much blood coming out of them.
	I don't know what's...
	Like, he pretends to be a nurse, and his understanding of serious cancer is...
	Me and Ranger Tommy asked him one day, was like, what's a pneumothorax?
	And he was like, I had no idea what it was.
	It's a sucking chest wound.
	It's like, stop.
	Stop.
	You didn't even know what that is.
	He doesn't know what anything is in the world.
	And the irony is, he's a compulsive liar, but he's remarkably sensitive about anyone asking him anything about any of his lies.
	Yeah, because he doesn't want to be exposed.
	Oh, sir.
	You know what?
	Can anyone just mind their own fucking business?
	I'm going to take you outside.
	Back off.
	Just fucking back off.
	I swear to God, next person that questions me about my fucking disease is going outside right now.
	And Jose's like, I'll go outside with you.
	So Jose goes outside, who's like five feet tall.
	And he goes, so you want to do this?
	You want to do something?
	You want to fuck me up?
	And Joe's like, I don't want to fight you.
	You're my friend.
	And then shakes his hand.
	What does that one say?
	What's up?
	What's up, Billy Oaksaka?
	Tarzan 1000% clapped gorilla cheeks.
	Would you rather eat pizziki or donuts?
	Saki.
	I don't know what that is.
	Jensaki.
	Jensaki?
	I think that's what he's trying to write.
	Yeah.
	I'd love to eat her up.
	She's a fiery ginger.
	Oh, my God.
	Her pussy probably tastes like water.
	She grosses me out.
	Ryan, you drink a bath water.
	What are you talking about?
	If you don't want to Jensaki, then you're a fucking ghoul.
	Otis Simbo.
	She's a ghoul.
	Yeah, of course you do.
	She's a moron.
	I'd love to.
	I'd love to lick her pussy.
	She's almost as big as a liar as Joe.
	Yeah.
	I might even want to eat Nancy Pelosi's pussy.
	Whoa.
	Oh, come on.
	Before or after you picked the scabs off.
	Ooh.
	I would like to fuck her.
	Oh.
	No, maybe not.
	Okay.
	But I'm at the border of that.
	Let's build a wall.
	I was staying at a hotel while my apartment complex was being fumigated.
	That's nice.
	Ordered up this knockout escort one night.
	The next day, she's texting me and sending me pictures, talking about her life and whatnot.
	Seen her three times since, and she's still texting slash calling.
	I have had escorts before, but.
	Does that keep going, Ryan?
	No.
	Hold on a second.
	But the...
	By James.
	Let's see.
	I'll have to find that.
	This could be the one, dude.
	Ryan needs a skit show and censored.
	Sketches are too expensive.
	They're 20 grand.
	And they take three days.
	That was kind of my content.
	Five minutes of content.
	I was like, if I want to.
	I did it for a while.
	And you've all seen them.
	I actually, you know, we've been cleaning out my house and the studio, and I have all of these hard drives with all of these sketches.
	I'm just going to, I can put them up uncensored.
	And then we have the Gavin McKinnis show.
	I think I should get that up next week.
	Oh, from CR-TV?
	No, we got CR-TV from Compound.
	Oh, that's right.
	You mentioned it yesterday.
	Yeah, the original one.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	It's going to be a lot of fucking shit going down.
	That fucking sounded wet there, bud.
	I want to check your skibbies.
	Check your skivvies.
	But this has never happened.
	Not sure how to read this situation.
	Are you still paying her?
	I know this sounds very unromantic and un-Christian and on everything, but she might be the one, dude.
	I mean, it worked in Pretty Woman with Richard Gere.
	Like, fucking.
	You could be her night and shiny.
	You don't have to tell anyone how you met her.
	As long as she's not charging you every time.
	Maybe one risk is like you tipped great, like 50 bucks out of, I don't know how much horse costs, 200 bucks, I guess.
	If you tip 50 bucks and she keeps calling you, she's probably a heroin addict or something else and she wants more money.
	But if she's calling you and you're not a huge tipper, this could be it.
	You know, it's like it's noble.
	It's like getting a rescue.
	She's hanging every time now.
	It's like getting a rescue dog.
	It's like we respect that you did that.
	I mean, you pay for it either way.
	Yeah, that's right.
	Right.
	You don't have to spend the time, which is really...
	Frankly, it's what do we look into?
	Okay, we're out of time soon.
	We're burning through these.
	Gavin, is it bummy to smoke weed in your 20s?
	Yes.
	By the way, got a wife at 25.
	Nice.
	That's awesome.
	I mean, I think smoking weed is great for horror movies and sex and, you know, that show somebody somewhere.
	But I don't think it's healthy to smoke pot.
	It's like jerking off.
	It's a vice.
	But I do gummies all the time.
	Ryan, my first child's name is Daphne.
	Middle name Ryan.
	Great names.
	Gavin, push your hemoid back into your anus.
	That's not possible.
	That's like push your shoe up into your ankle.
	Like, it's not like it's near my anal lips where it's a matter of just popping it around.
	It's like here.
	Like, there's nowhere to push it to.
	Pushing it into my asshole would be like pushing my dick into my asshole.
	Well, I thought hemorrhoids come out of your ass.
	They do, but this is like the horse has left the station.
	The train has left the station.
	There's no turning back.
	It does not look like that.
	it looks like the one on the bottom.
	You see the one on the bottom that's behind the line?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That's like, what do you want me to do with that?
	The external one, they remove it, I guess, right?
	Does it go away?
	I mean, I've had them before.
	You got twenty VIX on it.
	It doesn't hurt, is the big picture.
	Put the VIX on it.
	So it's just like black inventions every day.
	Wiping peanut butter off a light bulb.
	I would try the VIX.
	Wait, so that's a twin mom with the hemorrhoid experience.
	Interesting.
	Well, pregnant ladies getting hemorrhoids.
	Oh, right, right, right, right.
	Great, really, true mom here.
	It's all fun and games to little teenage girls.
	Yikes.
	Yeah, I'm not even thinking about that yet.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	Go back.
	We didn't finish the previous one.
	That was the one.
	Oh, it might have been a twin mom.
	Did you ever hang out with a wait?
	Not sure if my original edition got read on air.
	Maddie, did you ever hang out with any HA in the main chapter?
	A couple.
	Ever heard of Jamie Stedman?
	Jamie Steadman?
	Not off the top of my...
	Oh, my...
	I did his daughter in high school when he tried to get me to become a prospector.
	I almost did it, but the guy was a fucky.
	I think they have more than one charter up in Maine now.
	They used to have just like Gainan.
	But I used to hang out with a guy named Chris, and I used to hang out with a guy who was up in Maine, then transferred down to Boston.
	His name was Derek.
	How do you feel about Maine and New York?
	Maine?
	I've gone to Maine.
	I go to Maine quite often.
	I like it.
	Vermont, Rhode Island.
	I like that the liberals there have American flags on their yards.
	So they're all Bernie guys for some bizarre reason, but they are quite rude.
	They're kind of mean.
	Snobby mean?
	Not snobby.
	Like, what are you doing in my area shit?
	Just grumps.
	I don't know.
	I have a great time when I go to Maine.
	I loved Maine when I went.
	I almost died there, but that was a separate story.
	What do you mean you almost died?
	We scaled the precipice at Mount Arcadia.
	Why don't you end the show with that story?
	Oh, because it sucks, and I suck at telling stories.
	Good.
	But no, we did this already.
	Remember, I called my friend Hodge because he thought I was lying?
	We'll just show it.
	We got a couple more of these, but sure.
	Oh, quick.
	Guys, I'm a 20-year-old dude wanting advice on navigating the current dating scene.
	At least 70% of females might rather retard extreme, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	Watch TikTok.
	I'm just a blue car.
	But I get a lot of these kind of messages, and I'm like, I know it sucks, and everyone's woke, but you guys have internet dating and the internet.
	I didn't have that.
	Yeah.
	Like, the reason my wife let me eat her out is because I ate out her friend Jen, who worked at Fat Records in San Francisco.
	Jen D'Angelo, I believe her name was.
	And I left a business card in her pussy, basically.
	And she knew me from Vice because I created Vice.
	Like, I didn't, Vice didn't help me get pussy.
	I made Vice.
	So my point is, like, make a thing, make a project, make a phenomenon.
	I don't care if it's your own plumbing company.
	And then, you know, you're getting out there.
	You're doing stuff.
	You're leaving messages.
	This whole idea, like, everyone sucks.
	Yeah, I bet it is hard.
	But I don't think it was as hard as when we were young.
	Like, when I got laid in the 80s, I just had to like go up to someone and go, hi.
	Yeah.
	My name's Gavin.
	I remember my son asked me one day.
	He had probably, he was probably 15 or 16.
	He's like, dad, how'd you meet girls?
	What?
	It was a bitch.
	I go, what do you mean?
	I said, he goes, what?
	You just went up and started talking to him?
	I'm like, yeah.
	Yeah.
	I said, either you met through social circles and acquaintances, or you just saw a girl.
	Sort of married Aaron.
	Yeah, that was the best basic.
	Best case scenario is conscious.
	Worst case scenario is cold calls.
	One thing we would do is lie.
	We'd be like, there was a, I've told this story 100 times, but I'd be like, there was a fucking guy outside.
	So you're at the bar and there's a girl next to you and you're like, fuck.
	She's like, what's going on?
	And you go, there's a guy out there in a wheelchair, like a rascal naked with an American flag on the back of his rascal.
	And he said, it's all about me, mother.
	He's a white guy, but he sounded black.
	He's like, it's all about me, motherfuckers.
	And he's urinating, like on his legs and on the road.
	And he crashed into a car that was parked.
	And she's like, what?
	And then you go, then you just run with it.
	Like, yeah, he hit his head on the trunk of the car.
	I mean, I went to help him, but he was fine.
	He's like, get the fuck away from me, motherfucker, you bitch.
	And then if she's interested, be like, he had a swastika tattoo.
	She's like, what?
	You go, it's the craziest thing I've ever seen.
	And now we're talking, and the secret to getting laid goes talking, laughing, fucking.
	So we just started the first part, TLF.
	Now I just got to make you laugh, and then we're going to be fucking.
	If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
	That's what my dad always said.
	I guess he knew that I wasn't as smart as him, but from when I was like 10 years old, my dad would always say, bullshit, bullshit beats brains, my boy.
	Bullshit beats brains.
	You said you would prefer retarded, irresponsible.
	Oh, we're already getting like second marriage.
	Oh, yeah.
	Being too scared to have kids.
	I would have to disagree because I think these types of births are the leading cause of fatherless childhoods, which I think is...
	But at least, I know this sounds crazy, but at least the fatherless childhoods, at least they're existing.
	Like, you're not in that middle child.
	If you don't have kids.
	If you have a kid and you fuck up, say you rape someone.
	Oh, geez.
	They have a baby.
	They don't have an abortion, right?
	That's the worst case scenario.
	That person exists.
	You made a human.
	So, even in that unexplicably horrific scenario that belongs in hell, at least there's a person at the end of the day.
	And most of you people who don't have kids can never create anything as great as a rape victim's child.
	I know that sounds horrific, and I can't believe I'm saying it, but it's true.
	It's a bit extreme.
	Even if you're an oncologist who saved lives, I'm not sure you're helping society as much as the rape victim who had the baby.
	I'm kind of proud of that outlandish statement.
	The hot take.
	Hot take.
	Max and John have a job anytime in central Ohio.
	Just come swing a hammer doing home renovations for us.
	Orion is also welcome, but we can only pay half for Asians.
	Hey.
	Well, I'm half Asian, so you pay me half as half.
	No, no, no.
	Let's see, they're not.
	Three-fourths.
	Despite popular belief, they're not great at math.
	All right, that's it for the show, folks.
	I'll be reading the things after the show with the music.
	It'll be an after-show where I just blast these out.
	How many are there?
	About 15.
	Okay, I'll read them.
	Yes.
	I'm fighting for y'alls.
	If it's for the boys.
	Yeah.
	Gavin, would you say you really started falling in love with America, being an American?
	Was it the experience of living in New York during that?
	Yes, it was 9-11.
	What made me political and patriotic was one page of Pat Buchanan's book.
	I think it's page 64 of The Death of the West, where he says, the behavior we had was, our treatment of the Indians was not what one would expect for whom the Sermon on the Mount was divine command.
	We did participate in slavery.
	However, amongst history's many villains, we are one of the few heroes.
	For the West did not invent slavery, but the West alone abolished slavery.
	And this was right when the planes were hitting the towers.
	I think I read Death of the West first, but it was within weeks of 9-11.
	And then I was like, yeah, I'm done apologizing.
	We're the best.
	Proud of your boy.
	San Francisco, like New York, has one of the shittiest DAs.
	Cheesa Bowden, don't get me started on old Cheesa.
	Chessa.
	He is literally a product of the Weather Underground.
	Raised by the Weather Underground.
	His father and mother went to jail for terrorism, and they gave the baby to another Weather Underground member who raised him.
	He is a red yarn fucking.
	I'm going to build it on that wall.
	The SFPD just pulled out of an agreement with Chief.
	How do you say his stupid name?
	Chessa?
	Chessa's piece of shit office.
	If Jesse Lee Peterson was DF San Francisco, how would he fix crime?
	Thanks, ladies.
	The way to fix crime in any big city is what Giuliani did.
	You just allow stop and frisk.
	And I'm sure Maddie is a criminal agrees with me.
	Former criminal.
	Well, I don't know.
	I wasn't a fan of stop and frisk, but I get it.
	Not a fan because it was effective.
	I didn't like being stopped and frisked.
	But it worked.
	Yeah, it was effective.
	I mean, New York City in 2000, early aughts was fucking Disneyland.
	You could walk around Times Square naked with $100 bills taped to your body and nothing would happen to you.
	Now, Luby, who does Anthony Coomi's show, she told me she's documented, she has started a diary of Every Time I Feel Unsafe, and she has four this week.
	Jesus.
	And we're Thursday.
	We had the crazy high murder rates, though, back in the 90s.
	Yeah.
	Like 2,600.
	Yeah.
	Last year there was 435 in New York.
	Right.
	That's an important detail that people neglect.
	I always say, oh, we're back to the 80s.
	We're back to the 90s.
	It's David Dinkins, New York.
	It is worse.
	It is bad.
	But it's nothing like Dinkins.
	David Dinkins, when he was in New York in the late 80s, the death toll was 2,000.
	2,600 murders?
	2,600 murders a year.
	We're up from Giuliani days, which was probably under 300.
	We're now up closer to 400.
	So it's like my favorite three rock bands.
	Pearl Jam, Tool, and probably Owls and Chains.
	Hell yeah.
	That's what I'm talking about.
	I don't agree with that.
	You're outnumbered.
	Pearl Jam's my favorite, though.
	Well, what are we doing here?
	Is it Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin?
	I mean, how big are we going?
	Me, daughter.
	What do you think?
	They're playing the beacon this week.
	Well, Eddie Vetter is.
	It's clearly Rolling Stones, then Zeppelin, then Generation X. Hey, Matt.
	Hey, boys, can you please do a project very test spoof skit?
	Are you careful to expose Joe Tonelli and his crazy lies?
	But how do we expose him?
	I mean, doesn't he already do that himself?
	Like, we do that to his face.
	Yeah.
	Every day we go, so like, like Matt, he goes, so you went to high school in Scotland.
	Were there any sort of sayings that you remember?
	I mean, the Scots are known as having a very particular language.
	Like, what's your favorite three Scottish candies?
	Yeah.
	A flake, a crunchy, and like a thing of smart.
	Jammy Doja.
	Yeah.
	The Penguin Bar, Marshall.
	What about some Scottish comics?
	Yeah.
	Or Willie.
	Woo and Willie, the Boons, Core, Wizard and Chip.
	The Beano.
	Beano, Dennis Zimenis, The Bath Street Kids, ringing e-bells.
	Who's your favorite Bath Street kid?
	Oh, Howie.
	California, A.B. States that every public school must have at least one baby's bathroom with a tampon dispenser.
	Boys' bathroom.
	Babies don't need tampons.
	Boys' bathroom.
	Fuck him.
	Elementary schools, too?
	That's disgusting.
	If your boomer parents had you late enough to make you close to the age of the oldest millions, but you were clearly child of boomers and you have more in common with Gen X, you're still a millennial?
	No.
	Next.
	What's worse about the Nazis, systemic extermination of six million people, or the fact they'll be used in insult in the political debate for the rest of time?
	Yeah, can we just like on my debate on Saturday night, I think I'm just going to say, anytime you mention Hitler or the Gestapo or the Holocaust, I'm peacing out.
	I cannot fucking do it anymore.
	It's like Bob Marley.
	I cannot listen to legend ever again.
	One, no woman, no cry.
	I'm done.
	I'm up to here.
	Jimi Hendrix, you can take him forever.
	I don't know.
	There's something about Bob Marley where you just hit a wall.
	And I've hit a wall with fucking Hitler analogies.
	I'm done.
	Are we done?
	No.
	I am done.
	You're done.
	I'm done.
	I'm so done.
	We got a couple more here.
	Bam.
	Okay.
	Just did that one.
	Oh, okay.
	Nodding off.
	Ooh, fudge.
	Brucey with the hard feeling.
	Does this do anything?
	I finally found the death of cool.
	Thanks for all the positive messaging of fatherhood.
	Blah, blah, blah.
	Me and my wife, we're expecting our first.
	More excited.
	Congratulations, buddy.
	Enjoy it.
	Yes.
	Take it day by day.
	First seven weeks sucks, my man.
	No sleep.
	But after that, it's paradise.
	After seven weeks, they're going back to having sex.
	Yeah.
	Then when they're 13, it sucks again.
	Sup, dudes, Gavi of the man.
	Can Ryan do the confused Asian face swap play a quick game?
	Would you rather blah, blah, blah, blah.
	That's a lot of requests.
	I'd rather eat Whoopee's pussy or pussy's whoopee?
	Cat poop.
	I would rather eat Whoopi Goldberg's vagina than eat Feces.
	Yes.
	Obviously.
	What's worse?
	Same one.
	Same one.
	You've gone all through these.
	Oh, here we go.
	Gavin, you early is you hung out with likes of David Crosser.
	Silverman, as well before you and them had even begun to reach the pinnacles of your fame.
	Why so many famous, successful people so early?
	Sprinkles?
	Ooh.
	Maybe you influenced them.
	No, I ran Vice.
	So I was documenting.
	When you're a comedian or a celebrity or whatever, you want to be documented.
	You want the history books to show you exist.
	You want attention.
	So everyone wanted me around them because...
	Covered by Vice.
	And I think, actually, I think I would still be in their good books if I wasn't literally Hitler.
	And I think I know why.
	I think I know why.
	Like, who's the guy who's Ricky Gervais's sidekick?
	Stephen the super tall?
	Stephen Merchant?
	Stephen Merchant.
	I was Stephen Merchant to them.
	So I would still be in their lives if I wasn't bad for their careers.
	So I think maybe what got me in the door was being a documentarian.
	And then I think I'd still be in the door if I didn't get this red scarlet letter of being, you know, literally Hitler, where it's like, and I kind of get it.
	Like, Jennifer Edison got a $3 million deal with vitamin water.
	I can have Gavin in my house once a year and lose that money, or I cannot have him in my house.
	What would you choose?
	Or I could have a pristine couch.
	I could not have him wet my bed.
	Or like even with Joe Rogan, he's like, I could keep my interviews with Gavin, or I could not get $100 million from Spotify.
	I think I'll kill Gavin and Milo and Alex Jones.
	I mean, I would hope that I would be brave enough to say no to that money, but I'm not even sure I would.
	So I kind of, I don't have a beef with someone who tells me to fuck off for $100 million.
	This could be a good green screen.
	Valentine's Day advice.
	Some people need help with romance.
	A lot of autistic people out there.
	She's early 30s together, 11 married, two kids.
	Oh, come on, dude.
	You need help?
	All right, let's wrap it up.
	This is getting tedious.
	What's that fucking honking?
	That's to let you know we got a new thing.
	How do you feel about nipple piercings?
	I think they're gay.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	I've had them.
	Okay, if things.
	If I can't be the things you wanted, then I'll fill in other shoes.
	And if I can't say the things you wanted, then I see through different views.
	Take it from the top.
	Thanks a lot.
	Love to Splooge.
	$25.
	Maddie was in West Palm Beach the other week.
	Saw the fakest Hell's Angel jacket of all time.
	Some piece of shit satin jacket with Hell's Angel World on it.
	I was stunned to see it.
	Thoughts?
	Oh, Hell's Angel World is a thing that they wear.
	I said they actually wear jackets like that.
	Oh.
	Well, so now you're just insulting the Hell's Angels, John.
	Rank the following.
	It's a rarity to see him in Florida.
	Oh, I see.
	Rank the following Ryans.
	1 through 4.
	Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling, Ryan Seacast, Ryan Katzuvera.
	Me, me, me, and then me, and then also Ryan Secress at the bottom.
	Seamus McGillicuddy, $10, thank you.
	Great idea, Gavin.
	This is Tits.
	Hey, you look pretty good in a cowboy hat.
	However, I like the total fuckhead.
	I look like a total fuckhead with a cowboy hat on.
	Anyway, love you guys.
	Please keep telling the truth.
	Front butt, 50 bucks.
	Thank you.
	Gavin, will Anal Shinook remove their music from Spotify in protest.
	Heh!
	Seamus.
	10 bucks.
	Another 10.
	Any recommendations on how to quit pornography and cutting down a masturbation to at least once a week?
	Whoa.
	I've been trying since New Year, but nothing I do ever works.
	Also, what is your view on Adam and the Ants?
	Ken Wall.
	Just don't do it.
	It's not like food where you have a hunger.
	Just do something else.
	Think about the Lord.
	Think about your family and friends that have passed on and they're looking down at you.
	And then just go for a fucking walk.
	Do some push-ups.
	Stop being a fucking puss.
	And let that man brew stew in your goo, keeper.
	You know?
	What are you weak?
	You have to, like...
	Anyway.
	Hi from Yorkshire.
	Gavin, do you believe we should leverage values such as Islam's values against LGBT?
	Read Samuel T. Francis, Pat Buchanan's writer, who D'Souza destroyed and should be hated for.
	Joshua from Yorkshire.
	And that is it.
	Thank you for tuning in and tootaloo.

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