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Dec. 14, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
30:59
S04E65 - THE END OF A ZERO
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Time Text
Drum and bass makes me miss Britain.
Garage.
You know, when Vice first started getting into TV, we were doing these DVDs that we were selling through Viacom.
And I went down to Britain, and me and Jamie, this kid Jamie, did a little mini dock on the garage scene, you know, with Mike Skinner and Eskimo, what's his name there, Wiley.
And not only did we interview all the seminal figures, but we also found these pirate radio stations.
I mean, the reason they called it pirate radio, it was literally pirate radio.
They had an antenna on the tops of the council of stites, and they would drive to where one of them was, and then they would all like listen to the music and in their cars, on their cars.
They would set up the cars, open the doors, and they would all have like a party rave, not a rave, but like a hangout at wherever they could pick up the signal for this pirate radio station.
And then we went to the actual stations where those guys were doing the things.
It would be like in someone's living room.
They had changed their living room into a studio and they made these great sounds.
And then we even interviewed and followed the guys who would rip down these antennas, these aerials.
Put up your aerial.
Follow them around as they dismantled the stations because it was illegal.
It was a pretty cool little dock, but I was currently not getting along with my fellow co-founders, so it was just fizzled.
Then David Cross and I went to China.
We got so much shit.
We went there to build American pies, where when you take out, they have an American flag in the middle, and when you take it out, it plays a Star-Spangled Banner.
And we were making them in China.
Very hilarious concept.
And we shot a million little mini sketches, too.
Like we went to an expat bar and we were saying, for the Super Bowl, we were there.
And we were like, no matter who wins, America wins.
And we're screaming USA and getting kicked out.
And I did little sketches myself.
Like I would buy stuff on the market when they were selling things.
And I'd go, I feel like you're giving me shitty prices because I'm an American.
And then I had a mask of a Chinaman.
Like basically a racist mask.
David wanted nothing to do with this bit.
But I had like eyes and it had a big Fu Manchu mustache.
So I wore the same thing, but I put on the mask and the guy got the joke right away.
And he gave me like crazy deals and everything was cheap.
We shot that.
We did a thing where we told a local bar we were a hot band from New York City and we got a gig and we said our equipment was confiscated at the border.
So they said, great, okay, you can use the other band's gear.
And we just played a show.
I can't play an instrument.
I played guitar.
This guy, Jake, the cameraman, played drums.
David was singing.
And we did absolute garbage, like a cacophony.
Anyway, they threw it all in the garbage.
They said, no, it sucks.
Can't use it.
See, that's what happens when you're a bright light and someone else wants to shine.
They put a dark towel, a dark wet towel on your lamp so everyone sees the other lights.
All that shit's gone.
I have a DVD of it somewhere, but last time I tried to play it, like the image was this big.
But it's really good.
Same thing happened with these poor guys, Opie and Anthony.
They had a show.
Pilot.
Our own amusement.
That's right.
We're Opie and Anthony, and this is Search and Destroy.
Kind of cool to see those guys as friends, isn't it?
Am I a fag?
No, that is cool.
You know, they would get along swimmingly when, like, Jim wasn't there, they would have to get along, and Sam would kind of lubricate the conversation, and then they would just start having fun.
Yeah, maybe Jim.
I don't think they hate each other.
The weird thing is...
No, I think Jim and Anthony are both funny, and it became too obvious that Opie's not funny.
Yeah, he didn't like it.
It was too much indecency.
Too much indecency.
I heard something that you can't ever hate somebody that has made you laugh before.
Or that.
Yeah, I'm persona non grata.
Yeah, but maybe they don't hate you.
They're just like, he's troubled with Trump disease.
I also did a whole bunch of pilots with David Cross.
One for Showtime that was called Vice TV, where we went to Atlanta, and we hung out with this woman who squishes beer cans with her tits.
Sick.
Blondie is her name?
She wouldn't let us go into her house.
I assume it's a fucking dive.
And then we did, what else did we do there?
Oh, no, that was all part of it.
Yeah.
That had the garage thing.
So there's two separate things here.
The garage thing was in the Showtime.
I can't even remember.
There's been so much.
I've made so much great content.
It's just been turned.
There's a whole fucking movie of my book.
I made this movie.
It's done.
The Death of Cool.
Finished.
Everything you hear, see in this book has been made into a movie.
Vice squashed it.
It's exciting that I've seen a little bit of it.
Well, I spoke to some eccentric billionaire who likes me said, I want to buy this.
I don't care how much it costs.
I'll buy it.
I'll give you a million bucks for it.
And they said, wow, great.
Yeah, that's a profit.
And I think it only costs $600,000.
And they said, what are you showing us?
Boop Smash.
Okay, but that's not the woman.
Look up Blondie Atlanta.
I would think that would be the smarter way to go with that.
Dig up the person I'm actually talking about, not the phenomenon.
And now you made me forget what I was talking about.
that movie, Some Eccentric Billionaire.
Oh, yeah, he wanted to buy it.
And they said, you know what?
And 20th Century Fox said this.
They said, to be honest, if you tried to buy this for $10 million, $10 billion, it's not going to happen.
Which I, another, another guy over there secretly said to me, he goes, maybe when Vice files for bankruptcy, you could have the movie.
And I went, oh, so it is Vice that's holding it back.
I even made a version that Vice isn't in.
We cut all the Vice parts out and then reshot patches to make it flow.
That can't see the light of day.
Anyway, no sense crying over spilt milk, but yeah, that just sort of pulled me back into the UK garage scene.
What you call it, garage?
Wiley wrote a song about us because he didn't like us.
He's not a fan of the G because I got kind of threatening when he kept not showing up to interviews and him and his manager.
I think it's weird too when you're from New York because the manager's like, this guy's talking a big game.
He's very aggressive.
Does he know that I'm a murderer?
Or maybe he's a bigger murderer?
Like, am I talking to Tony Soprano or Gavin?
Or Ryan?
Like, he doesn't know if he's talking to Ryan Ketzy, Rivera, or Tony Soprano.
So there was like, I don't know if you know who you're talking to, mate.
And I was like, I know I'm fucking, I'm always an asshole.
I don't care if I'm talking to the biggest fucking murderer in the world.
So they were kind of intimidated by me.
They were wrong, but they were like, the way this guy's talking to us, I'm going to assume he's in organized crime because he's a dead man if he's not.
It worked, though.
Got him.
So he did a song called, What You Call It?
And it was about us because we kept saying, what is this called?
Garage?
Two-step?
Drum and bass?
Jungle?
And then his whole thing was, I'm not part of anything.
I do Eski Beat.
So this is the part of the show where you look up what you call it, the song.
Is it?
That's it?
What you call it?
Okay, go to the beginning.
Because that's me at the beginning.
He's mocking me.
Two steps.
What you call it?
Fuck an awesome song.
And I like that they're not trying to be American.
Everyone loves that nationalism, regionalism, culture.
I was talking at the bar that with a buddy last night, and I was like, how do we get to a spot where nationalism is wrong?
I get white nationalism being bad, but that's a made-up term.
White is not a nation.
So shut up.
But as far as I love my country, that's a given globally.
Go to Peru.
Go to fucking the worst shithole on earth.
Go to Haiti.
Go to Venezuela.
Okay, Venezuela's a bad example.
I'm sure they all hate their country there.
They're not allowed to leave.
But yeah, that was a cool song by MC X-Men and DJ Logan.
A very uniquely British thing that makes me miss Britain.
Probably going to go to Scotland in February.
Maybe I'll meet up with some Proud Boys there.
Lots of news, by the way, going on with Proud Boys.
This isn't even in my notes, but I just saw that the DA in DC is going to sue Proud Boys.
Hopefully, to bankrupt them.
This is exactly as idiotic as when the SPLC said we sued the KKK.
The court case that bankrupted the KKK sounds good.
KKK is bad.
You emptied their bank accounts.
One minor problem with your $7 million lawsuit, the KKK didn't have any money.
They owned a warehouse, a $60,000 warehouse.
So yeah, you bankrupted a broke group.
But with Proud Boys, who are you going to sue?
All of them, personally?
No, we're going to go to their main income source.
It doesn't exist, shit for brains.
There is no giant pile of gold.
What a fucking idiot.
I mean, there should have been, there could have been.
But anyway, go back.
What's he saying?
If we bankrupt, we've had enough of hate.
No, no, go back.
And that's good, Ryan.
I'll give you compliments when you occasionally do things right.
But let's hear this.
Imbecile.
The only question with these dummies is, do they know that what they're saying is absolute fucking horseshit?
Surely a lawyer has said, they need a bank account for us to sue.
You need money to get money from someone.
Independent Office of Attorney General for the District of Columbia is filing the first civil lawsuit by a state or municipal government to hold accountable the Proud Boys, the Oath Keepers, and more than 30 of their leaders and members for conspiring to terrorize the District of Columbia,
for unlawfully interfering with our country's peaceful transition of power, and for assaulting our men and women in blue who valiantly defended the country, the district, and our freedoms.
Specifically, we're bringing this lawsuit pursuant to local and federal laws, including the Ku Klux Klan Act of 1871.
He doesn't know how to pronounce Ku Klux Klan.
This guy doesn't have a coup.
Ku-less.
And by the way, on January 6th, D.C. was cool-less in that there was no coup.
He should go home and play a board game.
Maybe they want to recoup the coup costs from Ku Klux Klan.
We specifically allege that these vigilantes, insurrectionists, and masters Of a lawless mob conspired against the District of Columbia, its law enforcement officers, and residents by planning, promoting,
and participating in the violent attack on the United States Capitol.
Tom Green behind them, Brooklyn.
Wouldn't you want a shred of evidence before you go running into the fucking field naked like a dunce?
That's been disproven too.
They died of natural causes.
This is a crazy thing about America.
So that's December 14th.
That's today.
That's not a year ago when all these rumors were swirling around.
This is post-debunking.
And he's like, we're taking these myths, pretending they weren't debunked, and then suing random people with made-up bank accounts where we're going to...
At the end, he goes, wait, wait, turn it up.
You got to hear the ending.
It's employees and our residents.
Okay, so it's not in that.
I saw another clip where he goes, and if we bankrupt them, that would be ideal.
What?
Proud boys are bankrupt, guys.
Sorry.
No more.
Call Chase's Proud Boys account.
It's empty.
Did he get his tie and his pocket square and lapel pin from like the soulir shop of a Washington, D.C. tour?
Yeah, his knot really bothers me, too.
The chode knot that Stelter has.
Yeah.
I hate how it's the same width as the whole tie.
That's the worst.
That's not the point, dude.
Here's a little note.
Stop bitching about the fucking app, you morons.
Let me explain something to you.
We are persona non grata.
We're pariahs.
We're at death's door.
We have had our bank account killed.
We had, remember we started this with MailChimp?
Remember we lost our URL?
Remember we lost our payment processor?
And they said we're not going to get any of our clients back.
They're not going to give us the credit card information.
We had to threaten to sue them.
That's the world of censored.tv.
That's why it's called censored.tv.
So randomly just like, you should update the app.
Yes.
The app is hiding.
Every time we try to update it, Apple goes, wait, what's going on over here?
Like a Jew in World War II forgetting to blow out a candle as the Nazis walk by.
You guys sit on your fucking fat asses and go, this sucks.
When we're out here in the front lines trying to make sure we don't get canceled.
Yeah, all the group texts are very like, hey, we got to work on this, we got to work on that.
We're all talking about the updates and the apps and the customer service, and it's always being thought of and worked on.
Under siege.
It's just hard.
We can't let people know where our studio is.
We've been canceled several times.
Any of the 15 things we've gone through with the cancellation would have killed every other company.
But because I'm a drunk Scott, I keep fighting.
So like, why isn't this like this?
Yeah, because this company isn't like this.
This is not fucking dude perfect.
We can't just keep updating stuff, making merch, hanging out.
It's not that simple.
When Barstool Sports showed a drone of their location, like where they're located, I'm like, why would they do that?
Yeah, we can't do that.
Why would they show?
We can't have a drone do that.
No.
It was like, so people know where you are?
Dude, I can't have my children's faces in my Christmas card.
Do you understand what we're going through here?
I'm not looking for sympathy, and I'm not saying I'm a victim.
I'm saying I'm a target.
And you'll notice with targets, things are a little more complex.
We discussed why showing my baby would be okay, because she won't look like that.
Yeah.
We only show children with a temporary face.
All right.
But we're working on all the stuff.
Here's another thing that people have been writing in, and I appreciate this one, actually.
It was Ira Glass we were thinking of yesterday.
Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, okay.
Not Mo Roka.
Not Mo Roka.
Wait a minute.
I think I know Mo Roka.
Or I did something with him.
Something Gary?
No, like something with Vice.
Why is Vice on my mind?
Probably because of that drum and bass thing.
But check out his horrible voice.
This guy chose, I think he was a successful finance guy or something.
He's like, sorry, I need to get back to broadcasting.
He tells people who are beginners, and I really wish somebody had told this to me, is that all of us who do creative work, like, you know, we get into it, and we get into it because we have good taste.
But it's like there's a gap that for the first couple years that you're making stuff, what you're making isn't engaged.
It's not quite that great.
It's trying to be good.
It has ambition to be good, but it's not quite that good.
But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, your taste is still killing you.
I've got to say, just pause this.
I'm making fun of his voice and everything, which is fairly shallow.
This is actually a very profound piece of advice.
And it's incredibly intelligent and helpful.
Unfortunately.
What you're making is kind of a disappointment to you.
You know what I mean?
A lot of people never get past that phase.
A lot of people at that point they quit.
A lot of people at that point they quit.
It sounds like someone's making fun of him.
Most everybody I know.
Most everybody I know who does interesting critic work.
Oh, look at me.
They went through a phase of years where they had really good work, but it wasn't as good as they wanted it to be.
And they knew it felt sure.
Didn't have the special thing that we wanted it to have.
The thing I would say to you is everybody goes through that.
And for you to go through it, if you're going through right now, if you're just getting out of that phase, you've got to know it's totally normal.
And the most important possible thing you could do a lot.
Jews.
Smoke a cigar.
Have a shot of whiskey.
Scream into a pillow.
If you need me to fuck you in the ass so you can scream into the pillow, I'm happy to do it.
I'm going to use a strap-on so it's not gay.
And the work you're making will be as good as your money.
Fuck you with my plastic dick.
You know who's kind of just as bad?
Have you heard the guys on cracked?
I don't think they...
they're fans of the old G. What?
Yeah, believe it or not.
Where are they?
Let's see.
The thing is, the guy left.
So if you go back, maybe about three years, his voice.
It's just.
Joe comes from Squarespace because it is 2018 or 19 or 20 or beyond.
I don't know when you're listening, but you ought to have a website to shoot.
All these beta males hate Proud Boys because they make them feel bad.
That is so much of the Culture Wars is low T, maddet, high T. And determined to spill the tea.
Also, before we start the show, let's watch a little bit of Gay Porn.
This is a Chinaman making a boat, and it gave me a boner.
And so if I get horny, I want you to get horny for men, too.
Ladies, this is why you love us, isn't it?
Like, he made this whole plan, too.
Some man designed this.
Or maybe this is his own design.
I got my three little platforms.
Yeah, this looks like his own design.
He's got a little raft there.
Sets that up in the front.
Yeah, this is his own design.
Pulls up the tent there.
I don't know what's attaching those three things, but it's awesome.
Lays it all out there.
He's got his fucking bed.
Mosquito-proofed.
What's this now?
Oh, two layers of mattress?
Yee, little princess in the pee over here.
Little setup.
Like, this is what men want.
People ask us what we want for Christmas and stuff, and it's like, I couldn't explain it to you.
Just nothing is easiest.
So where's he going?
To an orgy?
To go ogle young girls?
To hurt people?
No, he just wants to be left alone.
He just wants to see.
He's not even fucking fishing.
Oh, yes, he is.
He's fishing.
He's trolling.
What a troll.
The only thing that sucks about that is after all that stuff, you're still Chinese.
I know you're not going to agree with that.
But as a Japanese.
I'm not a racist, so I don't enjoy jokes like that.
Asian people have grudges against other Asians.
Yeah, sure.
Whatever.
Here's a couple trying not to laugh in the 1800s.
People tend to forget that the original cameras, I believe, it was almost like a sun spot thing, where I think you had to sit for like five minutes.
So if you've got a good relationship with your wife, you're going to be cracking up, I'm afraid.
And that's what they're doing here.
Look at her.
You can tell her face is like, and then they crack up.
We can't use that one.
Okay, let's try this.
I think I've got it.
I think I've got it.
I'm not going to laugh, not going to laugh.
Okay, I'm laughing.
I think they're in Scotland too.
Also in old-timey news, I guess that's a theme today, is this is what they thought hipsters would look like.
They were right about the tattoo, assuming those are tattoos, and the nudity, but I think they underestimated the laziness.
Like all Zoomers today wear a sweatshirt and sweatpants and white vans.
And their bangs are all puffy and in their eyes.
That's the new look.
So just basically house arrest sleepover shit.
That with an elaborate hat?
Not so common.
Other silly news item 1.4.
Is America fat because of fries?
This is an interesting graph, but is McDonald's the only food available to you?
What?
Percentage of obese adults by body mass index, 30 plus in 1990.
Percentage of obese adults, 2018, so 30 years later.
And they go, what happened in 1990?
It swapped beef tallow for vegetable oil when frying French fries.
I'm open to that concept, but is McDonald's the only food in America?
I don't understand.
I don't think so.
No, it's fucking welfare.
And I bet if you did research on sugary drinks, I think that's what really...
I think what happens is people eat shit food.
Their body is trying to fight it.
So it sends acid back up the esophagus, which means stop.
They go, ooh, I have acid in my esophagus.
So they drink a sugary drink to keep the gross acid down.
Now they've had like a fucking super gulp.
That's why super gulps are so big, because you need to drink that shit for like five hours to keep the acid reflux down.
There we go.
So Gavin's right again.
And then finally, Sex in the City.
This is a weird little clip.
I don't watch Sex in the City.
I have a penis.
But I saw this clip and I thought, is this liberals saying that they fuck up too?
Hey, that's where the professor sits.
Oh, sorry.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Thank you.
Hey.
Uh-oh.
That's where the professor sits.
Uh, no niggers alone.
Sorry, he just told me.
Someone's quick with the pronouns.
It's fine.
I am the professor.
But you're black.
You're the professor?
Well, you're dressed like shit.
Why do you say that?
What is going on with the picture?
Well, you're braids.
A law professor can't have hair like mine.
Why is that?
Oh, no, no, no.
I didn't, I didn't mean because of the braids.
I was, I was, I was just thrown because the braids are so different than the hair in your photo on the Columbia website.
My comment had nothing whatsoever to do with the genealogy.
This is interesting.
Isn't this really what all of this woke shit is about?
I've always said this.
I've always said political correctness is the upper classes telling the lower classes how to speak.
Oh, you don't say Negro anymore, it's black.
Oh, you don't say black anymore, it's African American.
Oh, you don't say African-American anymore, it's people of color.
I'm always one step ahead of you because I'm smarter and more educated.
And the look of disdain they have for this is for her for getting it wrong, kind of summarizes whether they did this knowingly or not.
It kind of summarizes what the woke shit really is about.
It's about fucking with people.
You know what's pissing me off, Ryan?
I can't remember if we cover this or not on the show that you fucking lost on Friday.
No.
No, this is brand new to me.
I don't think it's brand new to you.
And we were talking before the show about the streaming with the phones where you can make things.
I pull out my phone, I connect to the TriCaster, and I was thought, as you were explaining this, I just thought, this isn't going to work.
It's going to fuck up, just like everything you do.
No, it'll work.
You have to open up the new tech app.
And then...
Yeah, this is your thing, though.
You're never wrong.
And you're always like, no, that's going to be...
Like I said the other day, I go, why can we hear the fucking thanks for calling on a loop that should be in your headphones?
Right.
And you go, no, there'd be an echo.
Like, instead of going, I don't know, I should look into that.
You're like, no, that won't work.
Like the CGI faces.
I kept saying, make CGI faces and do imitations.
Like, no, you can't.
That's only on TikTok.
Well, at the time, it looked like.
Well, no, that was different.
That was then.
This is now.
Because I'm using a...
Even this isn't supposed to be happening.
This is a studio.
Wait, this isn't supposed to be happening.
Can you hear yourself?
This isn't the way people usually do this.
I had to find a workaround that I didn't know existed at the time.
Yeah, that's my point.
Didn't know existed.
I said, like, figure it out, find it.
You're like, no, it doesn't exist.
And now you're like, I didn't know it existed.
Yeah.
That's true.
Go find that thing.
And then you found it.
You're like, well, I didn't know it existed.
That's what I'm fucking screaming.
Like, you have to understand subservience.
You're below me.
And you have to go, okay, I'm wrong.
I suck.
I'll figure it out.
As opposed to like pretending we're on the same plane and going, no, Gav, I'm as smart as you.
You're not.
Like, you being an apprentice is the nicest thing I could ever say.
When it comes to this stuff, it's like I'm your car repairman, and you need help.
Like, you don't know anything about this soundboard or anything about this face technology.
Yeah, you're a car repairman.
By the way, the term is mechanic.
You know the people.
The term is mechanic.
Car repairman is not a thing.
Here, watch this.
I'm going to record this with your new tech thing, and I guarantee you it will not work.
It's working.
It's buffering.
I hadn't even started yet, you fucking lying piece of shit.
No, on my end.
Okay, I've received it.
It's working.
I don't think it is.
It's buffering.
It's acting weird.
It's a little...
It keeps saying cannot connect.
It's the best we can do.
Would you stop with the constant excuses?
Look at this.
Look at this bitch.
He punched a hole in the wall earlier today because he couldn't take culpability for what he does wrong.
Because you're a suck.
And you can't admit when you're wrong.
And I did something on characteristic and I hit the wall.
Yes.
Yeah, because you're a bitch.
And you fuck up.
And this is the thing.
When you constantly...
What are you doing?
I'm done.
So you can just fuck this yourself.
What do you mean you're done?
I don't have it in me to deal with this.
Yeah, that's kind of what I'm saying.
Excuse me.
I'm going to go.
So you can...
That works.
You're going home for the day.
I'm not coming back.
You're not coming back.
Someone criticized Ryan Rivera.
Someone made him feel bad.
So he's going home.
A guy with a fucking newborn.
So you're- wait a minute.
Just let's be clear here.
You are quitting your job.
Well, that's not your business.
I'll figure that out.
Okay.
You are quitting your job.
Ryan, come here.
Ryan.
Hey, pussy, come here.
Come here.
Ryan.
Ryan.
I do have to grab my stuff.
Oh, are you changing your mind?
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