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Dec. 3, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:58:26

S04E61 - CHRIS CUOMO'S CAREER HIGHLIGHTS

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	I was sent in by a baby monster.
	It's the Sloppy Boys, which is the birthday boys.
	And their song, Tom Collins, the guy who sent it said, I know you hate joke music, but this is good.
	And it's not really joke music.
	Like the Mr. T Experience had a lot of jokey songs.
	They're kind of on the edge.
	They did some Sesame Street covers, and I wouldn't consider them a joke band.
	Ween is a joke band.
	I don't like jokey music.
	I don't like joking during intercourse.
	If there's a queef, don't say anything.
	I don't break for queefs.
	We got to make those t-shirts.
	I hope those guys are doing well, by the way.
	The birthday boys were awesome.
	Very talented group of chaps.
	I'm going to check out their IMDbs.
	But more importantly, that song's called Tom Collins.
	I'm not a fan of Tom Collins.
	I don't like gin.
	Gin is what the Brits used, some weird juniper bush to stave off scurvy or something when they lived in India.
	Gross.
	But is Tom Collins alive?
	Who the fuck is Tom Collins?
	Besides a delicious gin drink for people who don't hate gin.
	Wikipedia is always begging these days, isn't it?
	It's created by John Collins?
	A drink known as John Collins existed since the 1860s.
	And in 1874, people in New York and elsewhere start a conversation, have you seen Tom Collins?
	This is getting too complicated.
	Can you blow it up?
	I can't read for shit.
	Read the Tom Collins hoax of 1874.
	In 1874, people in New York, Pennsylvania, and elsewhere in the United States would start a conversation with, have you seen Tom Collins?
	After the listener predictably reacts by explaining that they did not know a Tom Collins, the speaker would assert that Tom Collins was talking about the listener to others, that Tom Collins was just around the corner in a local bar or somewhere else near.
	The conversation about non-existent Tom Collins was a proven hoax of exposure.
	In the great Tom Collins hoax of 1874, as it became known, the speaker would encourage the listener to act foolishly by reacting to patent nonsense that the hoaxer deliberately presents as reality.
	In particular, the speaker desired the listener to become agitated at the idea of somebody talking about them to others, such that the listener would rush off to find the purportedly nearby Tom Collins.
	Similar to the New York Zoo hoax of 1874.
	What a shitty hoax.
	Boy, they sucked back then.
	I have a sneaking suspicion everything sucked back then.
	That's a hoax.
	Hey, there's a guy named Tom Collins, and he's talking about you.
	Where is he?
	Okay.
	I'll box his ears, I will.
	I hate that.
	That thing that you made a thing about.
	All right, are we ready to start the show?
	We've got a very fun show.
	We're a little late on the Chris Cuomo thing, but that's an irrelevant about, dude.
	You have to look at IMDb to see if they're still working.
	So we're going to go through our 10 favorite moments of Chris Cuomo's career.
	We also have Arthur Kwan Lee on the show.
	He's a friend of mine, very popular hip, sort of the David Cho of New York City.
	And he posted a picture of a MAGA hat, and it ended his career.
	What a world we live in.
	But before we get to that, Ryan, what are your plans for the weekend?
	Let's have a nice light intro.
	But before you say even that, I have to tell you something.
	I got the number two at McDonald's this morning.
	Number two.
	A large coffee, those stupid little grease hash browns that are just grease with potato droppings.
	They're not great.
	And then the sausage egg McMuffin.
	It was $8.60.
	Yeah.
	Inflation's real.
	But if we go to the local deli near our studio, I could get a giant sandwich that I can't even finish for $5.
	Just about.
	Coffee, I think, is $2.
	Two sandwiches and two coffees was about $15, maybe $13.
	So that's a great deal.
	Everything is expensive, thanks to Joe.
	Joe is bad.
	We've got Joe in the thing.
	We'll talk with him.
	Should we just jump into my pet Biden?
	We could.
	No, no, no.
	I didn't say.
	I said we're going to do a nice soft intro.
	So soft intro, radio talk, you know, that kind of stuff.
	What are your plans this weekend?
	I don't have any plans.
	Just spending time with my dot ski and my wife ski, and then it's her birth ski coming up on Saturday ski.
	How is your silly little baby?
	Just silly.
	How's the shitting coming?
	The shitting's fine.
	I thought it would really be grossed out by that, but it's fine.
	Yeah, you know.
	But it's when they have folds, then it's going to get tougher here.
	My buddy tells me when they get fatty folds in their legs, just open up the cracks, get the wet wipes.
	So you've got, man, you have black tar the first couple days, right?
	Yeah, that's all gone.
	That's all gone.
	And she's feeding okay?
	Yes.
	How about sleeping?
	Sleeping great.
	She took to the bottle, too.
	This is the time where you have to introduce the bottle.
	Natural breast milk, of course.
	Otherwise, they won't take it.
	So it's like kind of an hour and a half.
	How long is your wife going to breastfeed for?
	Forever and ever.
	Probably like maybe up to a year, right?
	Two years, I think, is really the top.
	Really?
	That's crazy, though.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Maybe a little over a year.
	You know, my mother did it until me and my brother were 21.
	How old is that?
	And the weird part was, as we were getting older, she'd start wearing lingerie.
	That is weird.
	I did not like that.
	That takes it from a nurturing thing to like a sexual thing.
	I never thought of that.
	Because of the lingerie, that's just my guess.
	Oh, I thought you just wanted to look nice.
	But yeah, that's right.
	That's no way that's true.
	Maybe you're right.
	And the ball gag was very disturbing.
	I'm sorry?
	Nothing.
	We always talk about this.
	Hey, can you make me a sprinkles thing?
	Or can someone out there make a sprinkles thing?
	Oh, when they got the sprinkles.
	It's time for the sprinkle.
	And then it has, like, I don't know, maybe a cupcake.
	And it has a bunch of sprinkles there.
	Someone sent a cupcake shirt to my gym, and the owner of the gym just wears it every day now.
	Wow.
	And I go, dude, I think that's...
	They're dissing me.
	And he's like, no, no, they're not.
	Okay, Chris Cuomo.
	That's not a thing.
	Like, don't you think it's weird that I'm known as the cupcake of the gym and someone sent a cupcake shirt in?
	Wouldn't that be for the cupcake?
	That's correct.
	But this guy has the sprinkles.
	I know a lot of you don't agree.
	And you're just so wrong.
	Like, the creativity required to do this bit is impressive.
	So yesterday I go to the TJ Mac and this is the first time I'm finding this place available in my city.
	And I see all the deal.
	I see a Gucci underwear, I said Calvin Klein underwear.
	And I say, I've never been able to buy this for $30.
	So I go to different colours and they tell me, actually, this is half off.
	It's not even $30.
	It's $15 for three pair of Calvin Klein underwear.
	You ever heard of a better deal than that?
	So I'm going to go to Marshall tomorrow.
	I mean, that's the Mona Lisa.
	If he's not a regular on SNL within the next year, there's no justice in comedy.
	Of course, he's a white male.
	He's gay, though.
	Can a gay move in?
	Can you get rid of that fucking gay Asian?
	That Gaysian who always plays a Gaysian in every single sketch?
	On every occasion?
	He's a Gaysian on every occasion.
	He's the worst.
	God, I hate that guy.
	And I hate SNL.
	You know, this guy, I don't agree with his politics.
	Somebody sent me something that he was talking about Israel or Palestine.
	But I think he's funny.
	He's a Palestinian?
	He's an Afghani, but he's pro-Palestine.
	He's super liberal.
	His politics stink.
	But I try to get past that, even though all of his stuff is like confidently politically.
	You say this is sprinkle material.
	I don't know about...
	I don't know.
	I love women.
	I consider myself a feminist.
	You know what I've been doing since COVID?
	Every stimulus check has been donated to a foundation that helps women.
	It's called OnlyFans.
	It's pretty dumb.
	I don't like his smiling at his own jokes.
	Like, he's honestly hateable at first.
	He looks like the cartoon villain in one of those.
	In Aladdin movie.
	Yeah.
	No, no, no.
	The underwater movie.
	You know, the woman who's an evil octopus bitch?
	Oh, yeah.
	Of course you know her.
	Little Mermaid.
	The Little Mermaid.
	Yeah.
	And the villain's name is?
	Oh, Ursula.
	Ursula.
	Yep.
	It's funny because I'm talking about politics and who's this guy and who's that guy.
	And Ryan's like, I don't know.
	And then the second a children's movie comes up, this pedophile goes, oh, I know that one.
	Here's all the villains.
	I know a bunch of political folks.
	I know who John Lott is.
	I know who Stephen Cortez is.
	I know them by face.
	Why does John Lott have strange eyebrows?
	I don't think anybody got to the bottom of that, did they?
	I don't think anybody.
	This is why you're a moron.
	Because if you don't know something, then it doesn't exist.
	And if you do something wrong, then it's mistaken.
	What I'm saying is that you set me up for fail right there.
	I don't think anyone knows that.
	What's 356 times 17?
	That's never, no one's ever done that.
	What I mean is I don't think that's a thing that would say that I have knowledge of political people or not.
	Like, I don't know about his eyebrows, but I know that he wrote great books about guns.
	I think he's a lawyer.
	Like what?
	21 Guns by Green Day.
	I think he wrote that song.
	Nope.
	121 Guns Launch.
	What's the book he wrote about?
	Don't look on the internet.
	I'm not.
	I don't know the name of it.
	More Guns Less.
	But I know he's Gun Guy.
	More Guns, Less Crime.
	Gun Guy.
	And he had some sort of a tumor growth he had removed from his forehead, and it made his eyebrows weird.
	He looks like an actor from the 70s, but like that aged.
	Jack Palance, maybe?
	Something like that.
	What do you think about this one?
	Okay.
	Last one.
	I've learned that people love to compare politicians to Hitler.
	Have you guys noticed that?
	Like, obviously, Trump.
	But they used to do it to Bernie.
	They did it to Hillary.
	And for both his terms, they did it to Obama.
	And they would say shit like, Obama wants universal health care.
	You know who else wanted universal health care?
	Hitler.
	Obama wants stricter gun laws.
	You know who else wanted stricter gun laws?
	That's a good analogy.
	Hitler.
	Like, I know what they're trying to do is make me hate Obama.
	But all that's really happening is I'm starting to kind of like Hitler.
	And I've learned.
	That's a pretty good joke.
	He gets away with stuff like that.
	But he's like, all the way up to the spring.
	No, sprinkles, Ryan.
	You're cut off.
	Here's another funny thing.
	I've watched this a hundred times.
	This woman accidentally fell into some sprinkles.
	But sometimes comedy just happens naturally, and the timing is just exquisite.
	Are you going to make that full screen or not?
	Like I told you 8 billion times.
	You ruined the joke.
	How many times have I told you to just show the video?
	Literally, how many times have I?
	It does not allow you to do that.
	I mean, this is the best I could do.
	This zoom.
	Okay.
	But then you still got the comments.
	You'll know it's.
	All right.
	Then in that case, then stay zoomed out.
	But let's watch it again, even though we've just killed the bit.
	This whole show is going to suck.
	The way her head collides there is fucking fantastic.
	Women want to fight, I think.
	Ah, fantastic.
	Speaking of comedy, this was really funny.
	Some cop shot a guy in a wheelchair seven times in the back.
	Now, I like playing Devil's Advocate.
	And in this video, you want to go, maybe he has another weapon, and he could be pretending to be handicapped.
	So what you do is you go to stab some people, you wait till the cops are there, you're in a wheelchair, and then when they come near you and say, stop, stop, you go, oh yeah, and then you get up out of the chair and bang, bang, bang.
	So cops have to be prepared for that.
	They can't give people with a wheelchair a get out of jail free card unless in case people start using it against them.
	But this is looking pretty bad.
	Pretty bad.
	So he's shoplifting.
	He's just pointed a gun at someone to telling him to stop.
	He won't stop.
	I got an idea.
	Tip over his wheelchair.
	I know if I'm handicapped, I'd much prefer having a bruise on my shoulder to having holes in my chest.
	Okay, go ahead.
	It gets better later.
	Better in quotation marks.
	Yeah, this is where it gets quote-unquote good.
	Walmart is a fucking one, two, three, four, five.
	What was that?
	Seven shots?
	Nine times.
	Because he entered Rose.
	Oh, not Walmart, Rose.
	And then they handcuff him.
	That's just thank the Lord in heaven above that that guy was not black, the guy in the wheelchair.
	Can you imagine the rioting we'd have?
	That's how I felt about Obama.
	I was so worried he would get assassinated because we'd never hear the end of it.
	That if I was ever near someone who was about to kill Obama, I would take the bullet for him rather than hear about how we finally had one black president and you killed him.
	I'd rather die.
	Also in the non-news, we haven't started the show yet.
	If you haven't seen the monster truck, we haven't started the show.
	Keith Olbermann decided that the school shooting was about Trump.
	So Barstool Sports says, talks about the high school football player, the hero that rushed to the school shooter and got shot and killed, right?
	That guy's a hero.
	He's a real man.
	He would have had a great life.
	And then Keith's take with his doggie for his avatar is this kid died to stop a cool shooter.
	Whose mother echoed the Trumpist fascism of Stool Presidente?
	Oh my God, I didn't realize that.
	So he's bringing in Barstool Sports and Trump into the death of that young man.
	Mental illness.
	It's mental illness.
	How did Keith Olberman ever have a career?
	He's worse than Chris Cuomo.
	Why are you being so quiet over there?
	Look at this.
	Mother who criticized Kyle Rittenhouse's bad parents stabbed to death by her son on Thanksgiving.
	A lot of funny murders today.
	Ironic.
	It's the funny murder show.
	I guess we'll call it that.
	Funny murders.
	And then finally, in the fun section, we have this brilliant point by Tim Dylan where PETA launches a gruesome online shop with goods made of human leather.
	And Tim goes, we'll backfire.
	We all want.
	Now, I don't know about the jacket that has the screaming faces.
	That's a little elaborate.
	But that bag, I want the human bag.
	Don't you?
	No.
	Oh, come on.
	No.
	You don't want that human bag?
	That would probably smell terrible.
	What do you mean?
	Given that it's...
	Is this real?
	Are you talking about real human leather or like the fake?
	Real human leather?
	Yeah, like if they were to really make a human leather thing.
	Well, no, of course you wouldn't want that.
	You'd be privy to a fucking murder.
	You'd be responsible.
	Obviously, it's fake.
	That's why the word human is in quotes, Ryan.
	Okay.
	Well, then, I still don't want it.
	Why not?
	Because it looks...
	It's gross.
	That's like...
	Yeah, that's cool.
	For you, I guess.
	Human skin bag.
	You know, that first jacket reminds me of my buddy Peter, Skeeter, we called him in high school.
	He really wanted a motorcycle jacket, a leather jacket, because that's what you need to be punk.
	And they're expensive.
	And his mother, he was one of like six kids.
	His mother said no, no.
	His parents said no.
	And then he finally got one for Christmas, like three years into his punkness.
	And it was the worst leather jacket I've ever seen in my life.
	It was made up of one-inch by one-inch squares that were stitched together.
	It wasn't one big piece of leather.
	It kind of looked like that human coat.
	I was just like, Skeeter Man, you got ripped off.
	You've been wanting a leather jacket for years and that's what you got?
	So it's on Urban Outfitters.
	I want it.
	I don't know about those.
	What are those little toes in the...
	That bag's pretty.
	Okay.
	I can see that a bloodstain bag would be cool.
	Oh, those loafers are pretty cool.
	What a conversation starter.
	Hey, what's with your shoes that like an old pig skin?
	No, it's human skin.
	Yeah, why'd they make it look cool?
	Oh, those are teens.
	Looks great.
	The Dwayne Weekend bag.
	What does that go up a bit?
	Get carried away with Dwayne.
	So it's a black man's skin.
	No, they don't have the balls to say Jewish.
	That would be taking the joke too far.
	Yeah, wait, why does it have to be white people's skin?
	Well, Dwayne, that's more of a black name, isn't it?
	That leather shows white.
	Does it, though?
	Oh, you can get different sizes.
	How much is this?
	Wait, you can buy it?
	I thought it was a made-up thing.
	Yeah, there you go.
	You click on it.
	See, the whole thing about these animal rights groups is they have to anthropomorphize.
	Is that the correct pronunciation?
	I was getting shit for print.
	The animal to make you empathize.
	Well, why don't you just do that with a chair then?
	Stop hurting chairs.
	What if someone sat on you all day?
	But a chair is not a person.
	An animal is not a person.
	Oh, you make purses out of fucking cow leather?
	What about an innocent four-year-old boy's?
	What?
	They're totally different, dummy.
	And if you have to do something that absurd to make me sympathize, you're actually on my side.
	Like, I could say, yeah, I have a leather bag, but it's not a human.
	It's just a cow.
	It's not like I'm putting a human into some fucking sewing machine.
	We have the same argument.
	Are you hurt?
	Is that why you're being so quiet this show?
	No.
	Have I hurt you today?
	I have not been hurt today.
	You sound hurt.
	You made fun of my hair earlier, but that's...
	Oh, your hair.
	I don't care.
	I'm so happy about your hair.
	I don't care.
	That's not a pun.
	All right, let's start the show.
	Let's get the fucking monster trucks.
	Let's get going.
	We've got a hot chill for you.
	Okay.
	That sucked.
	Here it comes.
	Oh, my God.
	Your lime is acting up again.
	Terrible.
	All right, that inspired me to start with My Pet Biden.
	Well, now we've got to show another interstitial.
	Let's see My Pet Biden.
	Biden.
	Biden.
	President.
	Sleepy.
	Wait, what?
	That doesn't rhyme.
	So I sent you something that's not in the notes.
	And he's not bumbling in this, but his actual voice itself sounds really bad.
	So let's be clear here.
	There's two problems with Joe.
	His brain is falling apart.
	And his physical health, even if he had a great brain, is falling apart.
	And for the 50th time, we like him.
	He's an endearing old man and we wish he was at our local bar in a cardigan bumping into walls.
	Nuclear codes, not so much.
	Funding the government isn't a great achievement.
	It's a bare minimum what we need to get done.
	But in these times of...
	You know what it sounds like?
	The police are at his door at four in the morning, and they go, sir, you have a car parked sideways on your lawn.
	And he's like, yes, officer, when we came back from our vacation, we realized they were not done the driveway.
	And my son-in-law is coming over later.
	So we had to make room for him.
	So I sacrificed a patch of lawn.
	And that's why it looks like that.
	It's not an accident.
	But thank you for your concern.
	That's what he sounds like.
	Hey.
	You guys just woke me up.
	So I have my sleeping cap on, obviously.
	Did you tattoo your eyeballs, Joe?
	No, they're just really closed.
	No, I'm just the angel of death.
	Wait, the angel of death already took over Joe.
	I am him.
	That's why you sound articulate for once.
	You're a demon.
	That's me up there.
	Partisan cooperation is worth recognition.
	So I want to thank Senators Schumer and McConnell and Speaker Police.
	Funding the government isn't a great.
	It's an improvement.
	Like his health is going down, but that sounds more like a president than...
	No, but it's separate, though.
	That's his physical, that's his esophagus, his larynx failing.
	Usually it's his brain failing.
	Let's jump to his brain failing.
	Here you realize he doesn't understand the structure of a joke.
	Here's how you do a joke.
	You go, you know, I've been spending so much time with Dr. Fichi, not Fiji, Fauci, that sometimes spend more time with him than my wife.
	I don't know.
	Which one am I married to again?
	Is it Fauci?
	Is that my wife?
	That's a joke.
	It's not a good joke, but it's a joke.
	Another separate joke is, you know, watch the news every day.
	We got Fauci every 10 seconds going on.
	Is he the president?
	Even I'm getting confused at this point.
	That's a different joke.
	Joe somehow combines those two jokes into something that makes no sense.
	Wait.
	Is that it?
	Nope.
	Oh, sorry.
	I should have told you that I'm jumping to 2-0.
	Dr. Fauci that I have my wife.
	We kid each other.
	But you look, who's president?
	Fauci.
	But all kidding aside, I sincerely mean it.
	I've seen more.
	All kidding aside, is him petrified someone's going to take his joke seriously.
	But go back to the beginning.
	You fucked it up.
	I've seen more of Dr. Fauci than I have my wife.
	We kid each other.
	But you look, who's president?
	Fauci.
	But all kidding aside, I sincerely mean it.
	He took two separate jokes and gave a limp, dicked, terrible, puky, shitty.
	It's like he talks like post-cum.
	You know, after you jizz, you think you're done, and then there's a drop later?
	That's who Joe Biden is.
	He's post-cum.
	That's when they say he's PC.
	That's what they mean.
	If you go to 2-1 here, now, I have a very faint memory of my dad reading me a bedtime story, but dads are not good at bedtime stories because what's going through our minds is, I can't believe this bitch got paid for this piece of crap.
	Then another minute went by and it was 12.30.
	The clock strikes 12.
	Like, they all suck.
	And it's the stupidest, easiest job in the world.
	So you're reading it and you're kind of annoyed.
	And then whenever I would read my kids' stories, if I didn't change the things and they'd always go, you're reading it wrong.
	You're reading it wrong.
	Because they could tell I was making up the story.
	I get this yawn that was totally involuntary.
	And moms are great at reading books.
	Women are agreeable.
	They can get into it.
	They do the voices.
	They get excited.
	Dad suck at it.
	I remember the few times my dad would read a story over my mom.
	He sounded like not himself.
	So he'd say, and then the cockatoo came out from the building.
	Where are you?
	said the cockatoo.
	And I remember being a little kid going, his heart's not in this.
	This is not him.
	And that's how Biden sounds when he does these speeches.
	He sounds like a half-assed reader who really doesn't want to be there.
	He's dialing it in, I guess is what I'm saying.
	That's 2-1.
	Taken in partnership with private business and labor, retailers and grocery stores, freight movers and railroads.
	See, the shelves of our stores are going to be well stocked.
	We've sped up operations at our ports.
	For example, at the Port of Los Angeles and Long Beach, the two busiest ports in America.
	Over the last month, the number of containers left sitting on the docks for over eight days is down by 40 percent.
	My administration has taken in partnership with private business and labor.
	Finally, we have these kids.
	This isn't really Joe Biden related.
	They're yelling, let's go, Brandon.
	But let's see if you can see what I thought the takeaway was.
	There's a hidden little weird Easter egg here that actually has nothing to do with Joe Biden.
	This is 19, and they're doing some sort of, fuck Kyle Rittenhouse.
	We don't want him on our campus.
	He's racist.
	And then everyone starts yelling, let's go, Brandon.
	But I want you to notice something about the reaction.
	Let's go, Brandon.
	Okay, so stop.
	What do you think is a weird, quirky takeaway from that video?
	Don't ask me because I've seen the notes.
	Oh, shit.
	Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater.
	I could have.
	Their security blanket.
	So there's obviously a mild confrontation going on.
	They assume that everyone hates Kyle Rittenhouse and Trump, but then they have a bunch of Biden haters, which you can assume they kind of like Trump if they're yelling, let's go, Brandon.
	And what do they do?
	They just, they go to their phones.
	You know, you have people taking upwards of a thousand selfies a day, and it gets to the point where this isn't you.
	I saw this.
	I'm plagiarizing an interview.
	I saw obviously.
	This isn't you.
	This is you.
	So they're holding their security blankets mid-confrontation.
	Hey, fuck you guys.
	And then zhoom.
	They go and hide in their phones.
	Look at the black girl.
	She's like gone.
	She's not there.
	She's in a cocoon.
	It's like an armadillo rolling up with the armor.
	They hide inside of their phones.
	What should I do now, phone?
	Help me.
	Anyway, good to see people yelling.
	Let's go, Brandon.
	I'm at the point now where I'm completely fascinated by people who like Joe Biden.
	And if you go to 2-2, I saw this fuckface.
	What's his steal again?
	Probably wrote some stupid fiction book.
	Maybe he writes children's books.
	Author of God is Love, Don't Be a Jerk.
	Love Your Neighbor, Get Vaccinated.
	This is more than you.
	Ugh.
	That's a really long title.
	Not exactly catchy, is it?
	God is Love, Don't Be a Jerk.
	Oh, there's Amy Siskind.
	Look at that.
	Top left.
	Looking nothing like she looks.
	In the midst of this trying time, John's bold, unwavering voice encourages us to find our common ground and together to rise up against bigotry and hatred.
	Says the woman in the whitest neighborhood in all of Westchester.
	Anyway, look at all these response.
	I thank God every day for Joe Biden.
	What?
	Keep going.
	I think I speak for a lot of Canadians here.
	We're really happy about that as well.
	My stomach turns at the thought of the alternative.
	What do you mean, someone who speaks English and isn't dying?
	Any of the, literally any, including Bernie, any of the contenders for DNC would have been better.
	Oh, I like that.
	The stunning accomplishments so far.
	Afghanistan inflation, mandates, violence, opiates, border illegals.
	What's this now?
	That's him not falling down the stairs.
	Do you really want to use stairs on a plane as an example of Joe Biden being awesome?
	That's him not this year or last year or the year before.
	Yeah.
	Not a day goes by that I am not thankful for this man and the 81 million people who voted for him.
	That should be in quotes.
	Biden time.
	It's Biden time.
	Remember when before everyone knew he was retarded and they would all wear sunglasses because he was so cool with his sunglasses?
	I think he wears sunglasses so you can't see.
	He fell asleep.
	He's holding the sunglasses like when you go swimming with goggles and you get water in them.
	Like he's dunking the water out.
	Maybe he does have water in him.
	His ducks are leaking.
	Wait, that's the same lady who made that lovely book review?
	Yep.
	What?
	And she looks way better there than in real life.
	Please, guys, keep harassing her on Twitter and trying to get her canceled.
	All she does is torture people.
	She's the Pied Piper of Karen's.
	And she has nurse thighs.
	Nurse thighs.
	Oh, this one's getting closer.
	All right, let's jump into this Chris Cuomo green screen.
	Now that we're talking about politics and the left, I want to celebrate his demise.
	Let's dance on his grave, shall we?
	The 10 greatest moments of Chris Cuomo's career.
	I feel the same way about Chris Cuomo that you do, that his fellow staffers do, that everyone does.
	He's a douche.
	He's a member of the douchebag Zip Brothers, Andrew and Chris, world-renowned fuckheads.
	They come from a guy named Mario Cuomo, who was so arrogant, it was kind of endearing.
	When he ran against Ed Koch, who was known as a gay at the time because he's gay, the motto was, vote for Cuomo, not the homo, which is probably why Andrew includes rainbows in everything he does.
	So Mario was a pussy, but he married a mobster wife.
	So he became a mobster wife.
	And then he liked that tough guy thing.
	Hey, I'm kind of a tough guy.
	I'm kind of a tony.
	Hey, T. Fight difficult situation.
	So his kids grew up mimicking his dad's phony wise guy shit.
	So now they think they're tough guys.
	Hey, Andrew Como said to me in a tweet once, he's like, hey, Gavin, I'm a tough guy from Queens.
	I don't tolerate violence.
	You want to fight me?
	What?
	So you hate violence, but you want to fight me?
	Because you're from Queens.
	I'm a Queens boy, they always say.
	Yeah, you grew up in a very affluent neighborhood.
	Queens is upper middle class where you are, my friend.
	You're not a tough guy, you fucking dork.
	Anyway, Andrew's always been a shitbag.
	I remember when he started out 10 years ago as the governor, there was all this money that poured into Albany.
	He stole it all.
	Albany was going to be the new Manhattan.
	We need several billion dollars to make it happen.
	What?
	No one wants to live in the tundra.
	He stole it all.
	All his friends went to jail.
	He did fine.
	Arrogance is snowballing.
	I'm a wise guy.
	I can do whatever I want.
	He starts grabbing tits.
	And Chris, who's on CNN, is part of the Cuomo family.
	It's not nepotism that got me this job.
	We're just awesome.
	No, you're imbeciles.
	You're rich and powerful morons.
	So now they're both ruined.
	They obviously don't care about money.
	They've always been rich.
	But it's nice to see megalomaniacs who are totally obsessed with how they're perceived have their legacy flushed down the toilet.
	I mean, I couldn't come up with a better revenge for these two fucking assholes.
	So we're all dancing in the streets.
	We're all thrilled that the sword of Damocles above this asshole's head finally snapped and sunk into his skull.
	So let's start with number 10.
	Of course, everyone remembers the Frito freakout.
	CNN, MSNBC, they like to call Donald Trump Jr.
	Frito, which makes no sense.
	It's much more applicable to Chris.
	And two guys come up to him at a party and they go, hey, Frito.
	And he goes, the weirdest reaction ever, he goes, that's an insult.
	That's a fictional character.
	My name's Chris.
	What?
	That's like you call him an asshole.
	He's like, no, who comes out of that?
	It's in your bum bum.
	I'm a guy.
	Yeah, I know.
	I'm insulting you.
	Man, apparently, called Pomo by the name Fredo, referring to the fictional character from the Godfather films, which led to this confrontation.
	I thought that's who you were.
	But Fredo is from the Godfather.
	It was that weak brother.
	Isn't that your father?
	And they use it as an Italian aspersion.
	You mean you Italian?
	It's a fucking insult to your people.
	It's an insult to your fing people.
	It's like the N-word for us.
	I'm insulting you.
	Thanks for explaining my insult back to me.
	Fuckhead, you know what a fuckhead is?
	That's when you get a blowjob, but you do all the work.
	Okay, I'm not really talking about that.
	I'm insulting you, Chris.
	Number nine, of course, the fake weights.
	Lifting 100 pounds over your head if you're one of the top bodybuilders in America is like this.
	Next time you're at the gym, go pick up a 75-pound weight.
	It feels like a car.
	It's fucking heavy.
	I'm sure it's possible to go like that with it if you're a major bodybuilder, like say this dude, who was not happy with this.
	This guy went a little overboard.
	He goes, by him using a fake weight, he's trivializing all the hard work we do.
	Well, the hard work you do is pretty trivial.
	But anyway.
	I bent 75s.
	What?
	I bent 75-pound dumbbells.
	You benched them?
	Yeah, 8 to 10.
	Yeah.
	Okay, Ryan, thanks for interrupting the show with your usual garbage.
	Do you go like this with him?
	I haven't tried it.
	Okay, give it a whirl and get back to me.
	Anyway, show the footage of him with his weight where one of his staffers, who clearly despises him, has to do this thing where when he's handed the thing, which you can tell by looking at the way it moves, is clearly three pounds.
	He has to go, oh, geez, what a heavy weight, boss.
	Chris, what are you doing?
	Just getting a little pre-show pump.
	What does that say?
	Como prime time.
	Hashtag, let's get after it.
	100 pounds.
	You know, just kind of work it out a little bit like that.
	You can only fit four things on the side.
	Mr. Mandalay, grace us with your presence.
	Tell him what you do.
	Hey, I do all the video for the show.
	That's it?
	That's all you do here?
	Can I just leave and get back to work?
	No, we're doing a weight bit.
	Just make everything look pretty for you.
	He's very bright.
	He's got great ideas, and that's why he's on the team.
	Team Cuomo, strong.
	Pass the torch.
	New work to do.
	All right.
	Did I say holy fuck?
	Yeah, he did.
	Did he?
	New work to do.
	Oh, I think he did say fuck.
	New work to do.
	I bet there's a hundred people dancing at CNN right now that they don't have to tolerate this fucking douche.
	Or his handwriting on the whiteboard there.
	Yeah, I already mentioned that, Ryan.
	That was the first recording.
	What?
	That was the first recording.
	Shut up.
	Number eight.
	He denied existing.
	This is fantastic.
	So, Chris Cuomo is diagnosed with COVID, we're told.
	I don't believe him.
	And he says he's going to go down into the basement for two weeks.
	Look at me, look at me, look at me.
	Of course, spoiled brats don't like actually doing the thing.
	They'd rather lift a fake weight than lift 100 pounds.
	They'd rather go examine their house in the Hamptons and see how that little fun project is going.
	They'd rather do that than sit in a basement.
	So he thought, I'll just have it both ways.
	I'll tell everyone I'm in the basement for two weeks, then I'll go to the Hamptons.
	Of course, someone sees him there.
	They heard on the news that he has COVID.
	They see him without a mask.
	They go, what are you doing?
	And he starts insulting the guy to the point where the guy has to file a police report because he's worried about his safety.
	Hamptons cyclist files police report after verbal confrontation with CNN's Chris Cuomo.
	Yeah, and he was on Tucker.
	Do you have any of that audio?
	Show him on the Tucker thing.
	What the hell do you know about this?
	What do you know about the rules?
	I like to say he was like a boiling pot.
	Yeah, you know why he was like a boiling pot?
	Testosterone.
	He's clearly getting testosterone injections, and we know what that does to your old temporooni.
	So he denied existing was eight.
	Number seven, he knew he was going to get shit for that.
	He knew it was going to blow up.
	He just got caught lying.
	CNN is the most trusted news source in the world.
	So now you're in a predicament here.
	I'm probably going to get toasted.
	I've been fired a million times.
	I'm annoying.
	So what I'm going to do is I'm going to lay the groundwork and go, actually, I want to quit CNN.
	I hate it.
	Okay, so now when you're fired, they go, oh, CNN got hurt because he hates them.
	Like Stern does this with America's Got Talent.
	He's like, I got sick of doing it, man.
	It was so gay.
	No, dude, you got fired.
	No one likes you.
	Jackass loser, fat tirebreaker.
	So go to the radio show where he talks about how he's going to quit.
	I don't want to spend my time doing things that I don't think are valuable enough to me, personally.
	Like what?
	Well, like what?
	He's introducing himself.
	What I do, professionally.
	I've decided.
	I like doing this show.
	I like talking to you guys.
	But I don't value indulging irrationality, hyper-partisanship.
	I don't think it's worth my time.
	And I don't want some jackass loser, fat tired biker.
	This is like the Weather Underground pretending that they're all about Vietnam.
	So I want to quit CNN because I'm promoting hyper-partisanship.
	Immediately drops that and goes to, I don't want to be in a situation where I can't beat the shit out of someone who confronts me in the Hamptons for lying.
	You'd still get fired from your radio show if you were beating the shit out of people who caught you lying, dummy.
	It's all the same.
	So this was so, he's so transparent.
	He's a moron.
	I don't like throwing the word dumb around, but he's a fucking imbecile.
	And he thinks we can't see this is him covering his ass for his imminent demise.
	He must have known he's going to get fired.
	And he did.
	Spoiler alert, that's coming up.
	All right.
	Number six, he became Jesus.
	So just like Stalin, you know, all these communist leaders, Kim Jong-un would do this thing where he'd pretend he was swimming across this terrible river with an intense current because he had scuba divers underneath with little jet packs.
	So they'd see him just, it looks ridiculous.
	He's like, swimming super fast.
	And I think Shea Guevara or Fidel would do this with basketball.
	They'd edit these videos where they look like gods.
	It's what people drunk with power do.
	Power corrupts, absolute power corrupts, absolutely.
	So Chris thinks that we're going to forget number seven and number eight when he got caught in the Hamptons.
	So he comes out of the cave like Jesus after three days and he emerges like nothing ever happened and he's got his two weeks in.
	And look how awkward he is.
	All right, here is the official re-entry from the basement.
	Cleared by CDC, a little sweaty, just worked out.
	Happens.
	This is what I've been dreaming of.
	Literally for weeks.
	Literally for weeks.
	You haven't seen your wife for weeks?
	Did you see her at the Hampers when you were with her?
	She doesn't have fever.
	She doesn't have the symptoms anymore.
	More than seven days from her quarantine.
	We're still a little scared, so I'll just give you one of these.
	What is this?
	Are they surfers?
	Just give you one of these.
	Just give you one of these.
	Bella has, of course, taken the video.
	This is the dream.
	Just to be back up here.
	I love when he talks to his son, and he clearly hasn't talked to him.
	Ever.
	Thank you for taking care of everything you had to.
	Thank you for taking care of yourself.
	What did he say?
	Thank you for doing everything you had to do.
	Hey, Chris, how old is your son?
	What grade is he in?
	What's his favorite team?
	Ask the O-Pear and the Nanny.
	They know better than you, you fucking phony.
	This was really amazing.
	I kind of want to make this my number one.
	I did a parody of it that wasn't as good as this.
	Oh, there it is.
	All right.
	This is it.
	The official re-entry from the basement.
	Cleared by the CDC.
	I'm sweaty.
	I was working out.
	That happens.
	My joke, that happens, wasn't as douchey as his.
	Happens.
	All right.
	So that was a fantastic one.
	We put a good one at number Six.
	Number five, this was a famous viral moment where he said, Show me anywhere, any kind of founding father document where you have to peaceably protest.
	It's not what you do, it's never been written down because I don't read.
	And please, show me where it says that protests are supposed to be polite and peaceful.
	And please.
	The First Amendment.
	You just got to look it up, Mr. Cumo.
	Mr. Cumo, the right to peaceably assemble is in the First Amendment.
	Number four, we all know what's going on with the legal aliens.
	Mexico, this started with, well, it really got wind with Vincente Fox, where he said, look, prisons are full.
	Let's just throw all the rapists, murderers over the border.
	Americans can deal with them.
	Subsequently, you have a much higher crime rate.
	Now, statisticians who don't like that, they muddle the waters by comparing south side of Chicago and Baltimore with some little Nevada town that has a lot of illegals.
	And they say, see, they're not bad for the crime rate.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	When you compare illegal aliens to every other citizen, they commit crimes wildly, disproportionately more than they are represented in the population.
	But Chris Cuomo and this silly affirmative action hire, as she files her nails and Chris just goes, nope, nope, nope.
	An actual non-affirmative action hire, a hardworking researcher like Steve Cortez, who's familiar with John Lott, explains why they're both wrong.
	I don't think it is, but I think he's going to continue going back to it.
	Final point, Steve, what you just cited about criminality between native-born and immigrants.
	First of all, that's not true.
	There's a lot of conflicting studies.
	But even if there's legal entry as criminality, do you get the numbers where you want them to be?
	No, that's not true.
	Yes, that's not true.
	John Lott did an extensive study of Arizona.
	There are conflicting studies.
	But listen, even if I were to grant you that point.
	Who's John Lott?
	Yes, there are.
	But even if I, that's fake news.
	We say there are not.
	It's fake news.
	It's fake news.
	BS and say that it's equal to the real data.
	It's not BS.
	But even if I were to say, Steve getting the last word.
	Okay, the point is the illegal alien crime rate should be zero.
	It should be, you can do your nails.
	You know who can't do their nails?
	Are people who've been killed, Anna, by dangerous, known illegal aliens who've been allowed to stay in this country because of the leftist policies that people like you promote in so-called sanctuary cities to allow them to hide in plain sight just because you want to compromise your
	that cuomo rich kid arrogance where i'm gonna have my staff write a book about how awesome i am even though i got five million he got a five million dollar advance.
	Hire some ghostwriters to do your work.
	You don't use your fucking staff, moron.
	And Chris here started using his staff and CNN's resources, which is the stupidest thing.
	He's also texting.
	Hey, if you're such a wise guy, why are you texting?
	You ever watch The Sopranos?
	You're supposed to meet in a cafe and say, did you get that thing about the stuff?
	You don't text and go, hey, that woman that is trying to get you, she's a whore.
	I'm going to dig up shit on her using CNN's LexisNexis applications.
	I'm going to use all of CNN's resources.
	Send.
	You're obviously not a wise guy.
	You're a fucking amateur poser zip douche.
	So let's hear this with the old using the CNN to help his brother get out of sexual assault charges.
	Cuomo attempted to kiss a woman, Anna Rausch, at a wedding.
	Chris Cuomo texted Cuomo's aides saying, quote, I have a lead on the wedding girl.
	Also in March, DeRosa texted Chris Cuomo, rumor going around from Politico, one to two more people coming out tomorrow.
	Can you check your sources?
	The CNN primetime host responded, on it.
	So this is more.
	Fuck those two.
	I hate those two guys.
	Mr. HuffPo Progressive and Mr. Pussy Proud Boys Basher.
	Yeah, I hate a lot of people, but I'm so thankful.
	I feel like that kid in Animal House who's reading Playboy and a Playboy Bunny comes flying through the window and he goes, thanks, God.
	Like, God, I don't think you could do a better job of vanquishing my enemies than you've done with Andrew and Chris.
	Thank you.
	So I don't deserve it, but thank you.
	Slam dunk.
	Nailed it, Gav.
	Did you know that the guy who did the thanks, God, is a born-again Christian now?
	He's thanking God every day.
	Oh, I get you.
	You know, I just did the, I just mentioned the Animal House thing.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That's one of my favorite scenes in the history of movies because they didn't fuck around with that movie.
	You know, like when you could see a fight that's half-tazed.
	I was watching Curb the other night, the one with Proud Boys in it, and this Mexican is fighting Larry Davids' ex-wife, and the fighting is up there with Robert De Niro in fucking the, what's it called again?
	The Irishman.
	Irishman.
	It's just like, it's so phony.
	But this woman, find that scene.
	They really launch her, dude.
	Thank you, God.
	She got some air.
	Look at that.
	I think like three guys threw her.
	I think I can see an arm.
	Oh, wait, wait, not there?
	But there.
	I don't know about that.
	I think that's her arm.
	There is one shitty scene in that movie when John Belushi falls backwards in the grass off the ladder.
	You know, he's staring at them and then he goes...
	He lands on what is clearly a mattress covered in grass.
	And you see the grass peep things.
	And you can see the bubbles in the whatever he drinks.
	Jack Daniels.
	Well, we couldn't see the bubbles when I was young because we had to bear the brunt of it.
	Oh, I see.
	The mists and the bubbles.
	The quality was so bad you couldn't see the bubbles?
	Yeah.
	Dang.
	Let's do the war on kids.
	Let's.
	We are living in an ageism era where children are seen as human garbage.
	Regulations to indoctrinate American school children with poisonous and divisive left-wing doctrine.
	1-1.
	Drag Queen Storytime is gross.
	As one person put it, you guys make peanut butter.
	I can't believe this is still going.
	To help make the world safer and more inclusive, we have drafted the most perverted elements of the gay community and put them in front of kids.
	It's important to talk to your kids about gender identity.
	No, it's not.
	So on this Trans Day of Remembrance, we've partnered with Faye and Fluffy Storytime for a special reading of our storybook, Him, Hers, Them, and Theirs, to help start the conversation.
	Have you ever talked to kids?
	They're not interested in sexual things.
	They're interested in video games.
	Some of them are interested in baseball.
	They're interested in something funny.
	Maybe a mom slipped on a banana peel.
	They're interested in that.
	The way you define your gender and your sexuality, no.
	And if that appears in a movie you're watching and someone starts kissing, they go like this.
	They're not into it.
	Thank God.
	But you know what?
	That trans thing makes me want to jump a little bit, Ryan, over 234.
	I saw an interesting article about a study on trans deaths.
	And they're like, no, trans people don't get murdered more than you and me.
	It's female black, so male to female.
	So black drag queens get killed more than you and I. But they don't get killed more than your average black man.
	So they've skewed the statistics.
	And there are some strange cases.
	Like it's always the victims when you do these studies are always male to female.
	And I think it's like some woman who took some gangbanger home and he finds out that he just sucked the fake tits of a dude and he loses his shit and kills her.
	But black and Latina trans women are the only subgroup of transgender people that Actually, face an abnormally high risk of being murdered.
	Black trans women, in particular, face a much higher risk of being murdered than the general population.
	However, black trans women in total make up only 4% of all transgender people, amounting to about 60,000 people in the country.
	Finally, black trans women face a disproportionately high risk of being murdered compared to the general population, but they actually face significantly less risk of being murdered than cisgender black males.
	In fact, all transgender people, including black trans women, face less risk of being murdered than cisgender males of the corresponding race.
	In other words, it's all a lie.
	How do they link to that article, Ryan?
	Go to the top so people can find it if they're curious.
	Quantifying the epidemic of violence against trans people.
	So it's a myth.
	And it goes back to that Anna Navarro and Chris Cuomo just going, nope, nope, nope.
	They've heard the first version of the story and they haven't heard the myth being debunked.
	So they stop at that because that's what they wanted to eat.
	When people are confronted with data that contradicts their beliefs, they become more steadfast in their beliefs.
	I've had the privilege of growing up in a traditional Leiden says.
	You believe what you want to believe.
	On you, no one can depend.
	Farewell, my fellow the friend.
	All right, back to the bad.
	Legends, because we had to bear the brunt of them.
	That will never annoy me.
	Yeah, you were happily interrupted.
	Yeah.
	You're like, oh, wait.
	Fuck what I was saying.
	My wife could be giving birth, and someone could play that on the TV, and I'd be like, one sec.
	Because we had to bear the brunt of it.
	We could indulge in the myths and the legends because we had to.
	Is that what he says?
	I was raised in a tradition that didn't have the privilege of living with the myths and legends because we had to bear the brunt of them.
	Shut the fuck up, Eddie.
	Let's just throw this teacher on the pile.
	One, two.
	Yet another.
	Arrogant.
	No, you're not going to get fired.
	That's what's really so telling about these teacher confessionals is that they're so secure in their jobs that they can say dumb shit like this.
	I'm corrupt and I'm evil and no one cares.
	One of my students asked me why every conversation in class devolves into me ranting about capitalism.
	It's because I'm the teacher that your parents warned you about.
	I'm the professor that's going to turn your kids leftist.
	Welcome.
	One of my students asked me why every conversation in class devolves into me ranting about capitalism.
	Even her tattoos are disgusting.
	It's because I'm the one who's going to be able to do that.
	This brings us to a new segment within the War on Kids.
	And Ryan, I'd like you to make something for that.
	So you got to do a Sprinkles thing, and so do you people at home.
	And let's do a War on Christmas thing.
	Can we make one of those?
	You're all so good at this.
	Look at this beautiful backdrop.
	I notice YouTube is going crazy ripping this show, and I highly support it.
	As long as the clips are under 10 minutes, it's only good for us.
	But I was looking at it going, this background, this show looks very professional.
	It's great.
	So the War on Christmas, we talked about this already a little bit.
	Seth Rogan and Sarah Silverman made a fuck you Christmas movie that ridicules the tradition.
	It got a lot of blowback, and they are now taking that as proof that white supremacy is a major thing and anti-Semitism abounds.
	Okay.
	Let me explain something.
	If I did a cartoon called Hanukkah's for Homos, and it was all about how gay and stupid and shitty and fucking this and fucking that Hanukkah was, the backlash would include attacks on me.
	They'd attack Christianity.
	They'd say that we're the chosen ones and you're losers.
	And then for me to go, look, anti-Christianity, it's everywhere, would be hypocritical and weak.
	You don't go around Harlem yelling the N-word and then when you get punched in the face, go, look at this, another anti-white attack.
	You drew first blood.
	You ridiculed Christmas, which is an attack on Christianity.
	Make no bones about it.
	And people said, fuck you.
	And they were very creative.
	They were aware that the movie was predominantly funded, created, produced by Jews, not Orthodox Jews, by the way, secular Jews, ginos, Jews in name only.
	So when ginos pick a fight with Christians, the retaliation is going to involve Judaism, clearly.
	And that's what they got.
	Did you know the ships that brought the gingerbread men over to the Americas during the Atlantic gingerbread trade had elvish names?
	And they're funny.
	Sorry.
	Don't Nick Fuentes me for laughing.
	What was the other one?
	Oh yeah, check out the producers on IMDb.
	They're all elves.
	The Zeitgebler B-gas was only used to treat Toy Fist outbreaks in Santa's workshop.
	But you never hear about that because all the Christmas carols are written by elves.
	We'd like to apologize in advance for laughing.
	And then one day, for no reason at all, people voted Rudolph Antler into power.
	I mean, his name is Rudolph.
	They're adorable.
	There's another one that's really great.
	Did you know elves had been knocked off at least 109 shelves?
	Somehow they always end up climbing back on and making rules about knocking them off.
	And they always display the same voracious elf no-centrism that got them knocked off the shelf in the first place.
	Some might suggest it's simply time to take the shelf down.
	The international elf is the world's foremost problem.
	So, by the way, I can laugh at that because it's also a parody of Nazism.
	No, wait a minute.
	Let me rephrase that.
	I can laugh at that because I want to.
	Because it's funny.
	I'm not beholden to anyone to explain why that's amusing.
	This is the best one, of course.
	The old cookie monsters bid 6 million presents every Christmas Eve.
	That's not possible.
	It takes about one to five minutes to wrap a gift.
	600 minutes in a Christmas night with 46 elves.
	That would be 3,600 presents max.
	I mean, what did you expect?
	And it's not just a sacred tradition like, I don't know, the drinking the blood of Christ or the wafers you get.
	This is Santa.
	So it's our children.
	So it's a Christian adjacent tradition that is all about our children's innocence and them experiencing joy.
	And you shat on it.
	So you're going to get shit on, dummy.
	White supremacy is to blame.
	And then the other people, the other reaction to that is, without getting into the Nazi stuff, they just go, maybe it sucked, Seth.
	Did you ever consider that a possibility?
	I hate you so much, you fucking faggot.
	I hate you.
	I hate you so much, you fucking faggot.
	But baby monsters have been sending this stuff in relentlessly.
	Have you seen these?
	So that's an attack on Santa, but there's also this gay Santa going around.
	This is slightly old, but I think it's Finnish, Norwegian, but it's a fucking commercial about fucking Santa and his ass.
	Come a long way from Finnish.
	Sarah could desecrate the tradition.
	Go full screen.
	Holy shit, I saw Santa.
	I can't wait to fuck him.
	Why would that cross your mind?
	Isn't Santa all about kids?
	Why are you sexualizing something that's all about kids?
	Like, why don't you fuck Barney the dinosaur while you're at it?
	Is this the next year?
	Or does he keep coming back for more?
	Oh, they're showing time go by.
	This is an attack on Christianity.
	That was a weird scene, wasn't it?
	I guess you're saying he's a fun, gay uncle.
	I had a gay uncle.
	It was pretty fun.
	Aren't gays into younger guys?
	Oh, wait, did they fuck or what did they do there?
	It's a dildo.
	It's a condom.
	How am I going to fit that in my ass?
	It's a pinecone.
	Your butt plug hurt.
	Butt plug?
	The fucking decoration.
	No, I hung it on the tree in my ass.
	This is a long courtship, but four years before you guys make out?
	So how many kids didn't get presents because those guys were riffing?
	You missed all of Africa.
	Why do they want to do this so bad?
	I've been naughty, Santa.
	I like how they try to make gays romantic all the time.
	Yeah, it's way too much for them.
	We think we're nuts because we had threesoms.
	They have AIDSMs.
	They have AIDSMs.
	When you go to a gay bathhouse, you have to wear rubber boots because there's an inch of calm on the ground.
	I wonder how this guy is perceived in his community.
	How come Klaus isn't dating anyone?
	He thinks he's in a relationship with Santa.
	He says Santa comes every Christmas and fucks him.
	Oh my God.
	Well, we have great social services here in Finland.
	He can go to a loony bin.
	Merry Christmas.
	Here's some gay stuff.
	I don't know if he's giving gifts to anybody else, but he just came over and emptied his bag.
	Oh, wait, he got dumped.
	Someone else is dropping off presents this year.
	Ew, you're old.
	I think gays call that a troll.
	And then the young boys they like to bone are called twinks.
	Here we go.
	Put on your puking hat.
	Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, stop, damn, stop.
	It sounds very gay.
	Never see this happen in the States.
	I'll eat your ass.
	Fuck you, Norway.
	Kiss my ass.
	It's quiet.
	Yeah, no, it's quiet for him.
	Ew.
	Wow.
	All right, we need a palate cleanser here.
	What could possibly...
	That was unpleasant.
	I'd like to talk about, and too, my friend Arthur Quanley, pull up some of his art so we can have some context.
	All right.
	Cool dude, very popular.
	Always surrounded with hot chicks.
	Surrounded by hot chicks.
	He's kind of a rock star in the New York scene.
	Very prolific, very hardworking dude.
	And zoom out.
	I don't like the scrolling thing here.
	And he did a lot of neat paintings.
	A lot of variety, somewhat realist.
	Lots of lions and tigers and stuff.
	And he would win awards and sell out Art Basil.
	Art Basil is a thing in Miami where all the top, top cool people go.
	And if you're popular there, you're popular in the whole country.
	It's the spot to be.
	It's the world series of like, I don't want to say hipster art, but good fine art.
	What are you doing?
	Why'd you stop?
	I'm going to go to his Instagram.
	Oh.
	Talented artist.
	And then something happened.
	Word got out that he's not as politically aligned.
	No, sorry, let me rephrase that.
	If you're not 100% with us, you're 100% against us.
	So word got out.
	That's not me talking, that's that.
	Word got out that he's not 100% with the radical left.
	And once that happened, everything tanked.
	He went to zero.
	I mean, you can see this sort of Renaissance influence in his work, right?
	Look at that smoke show.
	His girlfriend is a 9.6.
	Okay, don't give anything away.
	What a hottie.
	Does she have an Instagram?
	I want to stalk her.
	What's that called, being a simp?
	It is being called a simp.
	It looks like she's not there.
	So a talented artist, and yet another example of the fascism of the left.
	They want a gray communist world where when you go to an art gallery in New York, every painting you see is by an artist with the same views as you.
	Do you really want that?
	Do you want to go to see a concert and know the drummer, the keyboardist, and the bassist all agree with you on everything?
	What kind of drab world is that?
	What are the conversations?
	Why talk to anyone in a world like that?
	Everyone's your twin brother.
	Everyone's a fucking drone.
	They are pushing for a Pink Floyd video.
	We don't need no education.
	What a fucking depressing universe they want.
	I want people that hate me to thrive.
	I want to go to an art gallery and see a huge variety of paintings from all different types of people.
	When I go to see a concert, I don't want to know their political beliefs.
	It's none of my business.
	I don't want to be guaranteed that the fucking banjo player from Mumford and Sons doesn't enjoy Andy No or Jordan Peterson.
	That's bizarre.
	Anyway, let's get to know Arthur Kwan Lee and ask him exactly what happened to his art career.
	Arthur, are you there, sir?
	I am here, my friend.
	Great to be here.
	How you doing?
	I'm good.
	All right, long story short, prominent local New York artist.
	Everything's going great.
	You accidentally get red-pilled, and now you're canceled.
	Yeah, I came out as pro-Trump, and essentially, you know, this is a microcosm of being deplatformed across all these social medias like you have, but I've basically been blacklisted by all of Lower Eastside, and they want nothing to do with me because I wear a red MAGA hat.
	So before that, you were known as a hot new artist.
	You're going to Art Basil in Miami?
	Yeah, you know, if you, it's pretty crazy because when I was in social camouflage and essentially being this beta male and not standing up for what I believe was right, I was getting all this coverage and getting multiple solo exhibitions,
	but the images that I was rendering were all historical.
	And needless to say, when conservatives make art, we believe in pedagogical standards because we're preserving tradition.
	And what happens is the left is, the social justice political correctness is matriculating into the arts and entertainment, obviously.
	So those are the gatekeepers.
	And I'm basically in conversation with these people that can castigate my income.
	And I just played their game until I was so fed up with their bullshit that now I'm in limbo, which is good, though.
	But when I look at your pre-red-pilled paintings, or I should say your pre-Trump paintings and your post-Trump paintings, they both seem fairly similar.
	It's not like you were drawing bunnies one year and then you started drawing Trump on a fucking stallion the next year.
	Yeah, well, but that doesn't matter.
	It's because it has nothing to do with the art in, like, there's art and then there's the art industry.
	And the art industry, you know, it's this little occultic club of, you know, they worship the matriarch that we live in today.
	Yeah.
	You know, and it's, again, I was a part of this cool kids club and I was participating in their vanity and all their parties.
	And again, like you said, I was going to Art Basel every year.
	I was a White Hot Magazine, Art Verge, all these things.
	And for me, I got to the point where, you know, I was raised, I'm a Christian personally.
	And, you know, all the things that I believe in, all the imagery that I'm trying to capture in my paintings, they're not random, right?
	I'm trying to denote, you know, I'm trying to bring forth the beauty that has historically been passed down.
	And I think the main thing, Gavin, the main thing is that the left is a propounder of relativism.
	And I'm seeing that in the aesthetics today.
	That's why in Art Fasville 2019, which is the one where I sold out multiple shows at scope, the most hot work of art that sold was a banana duct taped to a wall.
	Because only a person who believes that gender is a social construct will look at that as art.
	Right.
	And it's all boundary dissolving.
	And I'm getting to this point where I'm recognizing that, like, you know, the left is, they just want to destroy any sense of objectivity and boundaries because they ultimately want to get rid of masculinity.
	And that's what I'm really feeling in the gallery lately.
	Yeah.
	So what red-pilled you?
	What brought you over to the dark side?
	Or were you always here?
	I got to tell you, man, like, I want to first say that my anarchist conservative predilections are, first and foremost, aesthetic reasons.
	Everyone likes to talk about these political dispositions and the numbers and the spreadsheeting and the pie charts.
	And I appreciate all that.
	But bottom line is I would rather have my daughter look like a feminine conservative girl than this lesbianic, September pierced 100-pound, I mean, I'm sorry, a 400-pound pig.
	So it's purely, it's aesthetic first, man.
	It is aesthetic first for me.
	Yeah, I never heard that one before.
	I agree with you.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	we say politics is downstream from culture, like this empty mantra, right?
	But if you're actively engaging in that, then you realize that, no, we have far superior aesthetics because they're grounded in philosophy.
	And as an artist, I always tell people, I didn't even choose to go to the right.
	I was pushed to the right.
	You know, it's like I did a show in one gallery in the Lower East Side, and a critic came, and right now the sacred cow at that time was Black Lives Matter.
	All the galleries are showing black artists and, you know, this, you know, black excellence, whatever you call it.
	Right.
	And the critic asked me, how does this support Black Lives Matter?
	I said, it doesn't.
	I say, well, what do you want me to say?
	And I've had so many of those things.
	And I think me also speaking disparagingly about stop Asian hate also like definitely made it created some momentum to getting blacklisted as well.
	What do you mean?
	You're against stopping Asian hate?
	You like Asian hate?
	I love it.
	I often say that, you know, if you look at the generation above me, the Koreans who came here legally and said we want to become Republicans and Americans when we come to this country.
	If you look at that Korean generation, the ones who are on the rooftops in LA, right?
	The ones who embraced the Second Amendment, they were telling all these young Asians, these privileged liberals in New York City, knock that shit off.
	What are you doing with the stop Asian hate?
	This is exactly how they're trying to use you like Black Lives Matter.
	And I agree with them.
	So what are they saying you should do?
	Just like punch, fight back physically.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
	It's crazy because there is a moral imperative behind violence.
	And it's like at the end of the day, violence is a reality.
	And there's a big difference between fighting fire with fire and the person who started the initial fire.
	You have to be able to protect yourself.
	And I call out stop Asian hate the same way I call out Black Lives Matter, you know, because you're trying to make us victims.
	And the whole Asian culture, if there is a pride in it, I mean, I don't do the Asian thing.
	I'll be honest.
	I don't know if Ryan does.
	I'm teasing.
	Ryan can barely speak English.
	And he was born here.
	There you go.
	Hold on.
	Just to interrupt here, I should catch him up to date.
	I guess it's Cantonese?
	By the way, I just brought in my painting.
	Can he review it?
	It's stuck.
	Sure, sure.
	Whatever.
	Yeah, you.
	Oh, that's for real, man.
	Hey, come on.
	We can't all be good at painting.
	That's not what I was going to say, but yeah.
	So let's get a metric of this cancellation.
	Like, if you're selling 100 paintings in 2014, what are you selling in 2021?
	So I'm not selling at that frequency.
	I don't sell 100 paintings a year.
	I sell several paintings for quite a bit.
	So I don't do it.
	There's commercial art and then there's fine art.
	I'm a fine artist.
	So in the commercial space, it's more of quantity over quality, right?
	Okay, so let's say five, not 100?
	Well, I mean, more than five, too.
	But I'll sell to the point where, I mean, like, basically the galleries take 50%, but the point is they sell frequently.
	And to give perspective on the question you asked, an artist who is doing well in New York City, they'll get maybe one solo a year.
	You know, 2019, I had six solos.
	So I was having a great year.
	And I was getting a lot of PR associated with it.
	And I've screenshotted all those that have been taken down as well, which is pretty funny.
	But I've gotten to the point where like I'm in a, I tell people that I'm a tranny because I'm in a transition period where I'm becoming independent now.
	So now I'm not selling at the same rate, but now there's no one taking this 50% cut from me because I'm having other people do it in-house now.
	Okay, but I need some beef here.
	I need some mathematical examples of your cancellation.
	I can't exhibit with any of the galleries.
	Not one.
	Yeah, no.
	That's why I'm going to Florida because the South Florida area, there are galleries that are not so woke.
	I'm going to Florida shows.
	You had six shows in 2019.
	The word was not really out that you were full MAGA back then.
	You were still the media darling, the art world darling.
	And when you do those six shows, that's anywhere in Manhattan, anywhere in Brooklyn, you could go and you would be a darling.
	Yeah, no problem.
	Yeah.
	And then, boom, word gets out that you're MAGA and it's now zero.
	They want nothing to do with me, Gavin.
	They want nothing to do with me.
	And at the time when it was happening, like, you are, you're obviously not just because you're older, but you are a better cancellation athlete, obviously, right?
	You and Alex Jones, right?
	I'm not, that sword of mine was not sharpened at all because I was just, you know, I wasn't even, I didn't see this coming.
	So it felt really surreal when it was happening for me.
	And what was the exact moment?
	What was the exact catalyst that sparked the fire?
	I have a photo that, unfortunately, I took down.
	I reposted it.
	But I had a photo of my girlfriend and I wearing MAGA hats.
	And you have to understand that, you know, usually when I use my social media, it's just my art, art, art, art, art, art, art.
	And eventually I posted one.
	I reposted It recently.
	Yeah, you'll see it if you pull it up there.
	Keep going down, keep going down.
	Yeah, there you go.
	Yeah, now I reposted this a while ago, but I posted, but when I put that up on 2019, I had all these people saying, I even had a galley saying, if you don't take this down, it's really disrespectful to a roster of our LGBTQ,
	whatever, all this, all this stuff like that.
	LGBT, yeah, Trump hates gays.
	Yeah, he does, right?
	But, yeah, and you know, it doesn't happen like that.
	It's not like they all come together.
	Why is your girlfriend Asian?
	I thought you don't do the Asian thing.
	I don't date interracially also.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah, I've had, like, you know, I used to have groupies, and I would tell them I don't date interracially.
	Wow.
	Yeah, like, if the beautiful, they look good, but if a beautiful, I don't know, like, blonde European comes up to me, I just told them no.
	That's great.
	I don't know why I like that so much.
	It sounds cool.
	So, sorry, I interrupted you.
	So that picture is what did it.
	That picture took you from 100 to zero in a second.
	Well, I mean, there was already like grumblings about it.
	Like, you have to stop this.
	You know, it's like I have like so many screenshots with people, like big galleries that are big art dealers and curators and saying, hey, you know, I would stop this, this, that, and the other.
	But yeah, that post is really what caused two.
	I was consigned to six galleries specifically at the time, and I was doing group shows with other galleries.
	But two of the biggest ones, that was the main check of my income, they literally just completely just stopped working with me altogether.
	And it's funny, the way one of them went down is they said, hey, can I talk to you sometime?
	I said, is this about me coming out as pro-Trump?
	You know, you often say it's like we're gay.
	It's like, it's crazy.
	You're coming out as pro-Trump.
	And then she says, no, no, no, I just want to talk to you.
	I'm like, okay.
	And this is such a cowardice thing to do.
	And then she said, how about we meet at your studio Thursday evening on that week?
	I said, okay, no problem.
	So I'm there Thursday evening and a truck comes by and it's just loaded with my art that she was supposed to sell for the rest of the year.
	And she wasn't even there.
	It was someone to unload it.
	Yeah.
	And I just went, what the hell?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Crazy.
	Craziness, you know?
	They have no shame, man.
	They have no shame because, again, the art gallery is just an extended arm of collectivism today.
	And that's why I'm so big on, like, obviously I'm not, my visuals are not activist art, right?
	I'm all about beauty and trying to make people curious about being religious again in many ways.
	So that's kind of more my language.
	But with that said, I think there's so much novelty in conservatives or whatever you want to call it, people who recognize the radical left for what they are.
	I call us not lefts because I don't really like Republican, conservative, all of those other names.
	We don't really fit in with them.
	We're just sick of the liberal hysteria and bullshit.
	Yeah, it's almost like you can call it either Trump or Jesus is like William Wallace bringing all these different clans together, whether it's the liminal order, the Proud Boys, or whatever it is, or the Republican.
	It's like, but we're all fighting the radical left.
	We're all fighting the English, right?
	We're all these Scots coming together.
	But we recognize the main enemy and who wants to destroy, you know, freedom of speech, your right to bear arms, and the family.
	I don't care about your externalities beyond that, whatever.
	We can go back and forth about that.
	But bottom line, you recognize what makes this country so important and great.
	And you love America.
	Simple.
	You love America, right?
	And my father is a military veteran, patriot who loves this country.
	And I was raised with that relationship.
	So when I see all those vegumens in this disgusting liberal hellhole, it's anti-beauty.
	It's anti-art.
	Hey, we got to go, Arthur, but we'll keep in touch.
	I want to see how things go in South Florida.
	When are you thinking of heading down there?
	Probably in a month and a half.
	We'll see you there.
	All right.
	Hey, listen.
	God bless you, man.
	We'll talk to you.
	Thanks.
	It's a fun show.
	A lot of variety today.
	I like to keep it.
	It's not a boring show.
	As the French call, Voire Pole.
	That's a weird, shitty joke.
	We shouldn't use the interstitials because I only have three things I want to discuss here.
	One was Sandy Bockham, who is on food stamps.
	Her son OD'd, right?
	This is amazing because they tie everything to Trump in January 6th.
	We had Keith Oberman saying that the school shooting was the mother's fault because she likes Trump.
	And then Sandy Bockham is talking about this video from the Guggenheim, and she pulls in January 6th and her dead son.
	So they're talking about the Guggenheim has ties with the Sackler family.
	Valid beef, great protest.
	Sackler family's pure evil.
	They are responsible for the deaths of thousands as far as I'm concerned.
	And Sandy goes, when I shot this video, I had a beautiful son.
	By the way, Sandy, your testimony helped separate John Kinsman from his son.
	And by the way, little side note, thank you guys so much for getting way past our goal of 10,000.
	Yesterday, what are we at now?
	$11,000.
	Christmas for Liberty.
	We did that in like two hours.
	We raised $10,000.
	Fantastic.
	She's thrilled.
	I spoke to her earlier.
	What a Christmas.
	That rules.
	Kids get whatever the fuck they want this year.
	I think she should get them a car.
	What do you think?
	Or at least a pow pow power wheels.
	So, yeah, Sandy separated John from his son.
	But anyway, when I shot this video, I had a beautiful son.
	Protesters threw shredded emails from the blah, blah, blah.
	Blame the parents for their children's deaths.
	Good.
	Toxicology.
	Then the toxicology said, my son died from acute fentanyl intoxication.
	Okay.
	That's not really OxyContin though, is it?
	And then she goes, on 1-6, when I was at the Capitol.
	Really?
	Like, I'm sorry your son's dead.
	But to just rope in Trump in January 6th to your son's cold corpse.
	Well, yeah, Trump forced her to be there.
	She had to go there and counterproductive.
	Yeah, that's why I neglected my son in the worst moments of his life.
	Call to duty.
	Arguably contributed to his death because I wasn't around there to support him.
	I was busy reporting.
	Serving the United States of America.
	Thanks, Sandy.
	I'm sure your son appreciates it.
	And then this was funny, an update on the march that was on Long Island.
	A bunch of ginos had a ceremony at their synagogue to protest hate because Proud Boys, who have plenty of Jews in them, were in their neighborhood.
	Rockville Center neighbors joined together to condemn march by Proud Boys through the village.
	It's kind of like megalomania, isn't it?
	Like you're marching through Long Island.
	It must be about me and my Judaism.
	You're so vain, I bet you think this protest is about Jews.
	Yeah, that's a good one.
	Well, people living here in Rockville Center came out together to speak out against hate, showing that their village will not be listening to them.
	Well, you respond to them.
	You're responding to them, so you did listen to them.
	Yeah.
	Who might worship another incarnation of God?
	More than 100 people showed up on the steps of Central Synagogue Bethemeth in Vostok.
	If I knew what that would be so good to go and just have them screaming hysterically at me as I was like, tell me what the anti-Semitism was about.
	Where did you see that?
	Isn't it telling that they're not afraid at all?
	You know, like if Nazis are in your town, like, shouldn't you have bodyguards?
	Yeah.
	Hate.
	This, after members of the far-right Proud Boys group march through Rocky.
	Maybe you need earmuffs for the kid rock zone.
	The far-right is pro-Zionist, pro-Israel.
	Yeah, they don't know that.
	Tune in.
	They're probably pro-Palestine, to be fair.
	Yeah, yeah.
	They're probably there on behalf of Palestine.
	The Proud Boys are classified as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center and Anti-Defamation League.
	You can't remain silent because then they win.
	And we can't allow that.
	It was a slow day for the Anti-Racism Project.
	Yeah, a lot of race.
	Wait, I want to contact her.
	What's her name?
	Rena?
	What the fuck is the Anti-Racism Project?
	Ryback.
	She must be twiddling her thumbs a lot on Long Island.
	What a waste of time.
	You can't really fight.
	I'm here to fight racism in rich white neighborhoods.
	Everybody has to learn to get along.
	Everybody has to appreciate each other as neighbors.
	That's ironic.
	And not have this hatred that they're still a defined, hateful group invaded our downtown, trying to disrupt our beliefs and cause a divide in our harmony as a community.
	As your mayor and your leader, I stand here tonight and say it's not going to happen here.
	Now, the group here tonight, as well as State Senator Todd Kaminsky and Kathleen Rice, condemned the rally, and they say they will continue to stand out and speak out against hate.
	In Rockville Center, Antoinette Beordi, News 12, Long Island, Ian Macy.
	Sorry, this is like the whole homophobia thing.
	It's not about you.
	They're playing, the music they play is the Pine Tree Revolt about the American revolutionaries who were told they had to save their pine trees for the British masts, for the British ships.
	And they said, fuck you.
	And when the British sheriffs came to arrest them for it, they beat the sheriff with pine branches.
	You hear any Jews in that story?
	Sorry.
	No one cares.
	We're not homophobic.
	We're homo-board.
	And then finally, of course, I would be remiss if I didn't include this fun example of Caitlin Bennett roasting fucking Antifa.
	It's really good.
	Let's go talk to him.
	Hi, guys.
	What are y'all here protesting today?
	Ooh, I'm a tough guy.
	You look mad.
	Your body language says you're mad.
	What are you guys protesting today?
	I'm a tough guy.
	Anybody want to get their message out?
	They're all so swale, aren't they?
	Comrades!
	Woo!
	All right, this is a very cool group of comrades we have right here.
	We're going to end private property.
	We're going to...
	Fight the pair!
	Yeah, communism!
	Woo!
	We hate private property!
	I gotta cover my face.
	Woo!
	I'm so strong.
	I'm not a coward.
	Hey, guys.
	Don't try to pick on us.
	We don't have very big muscles.
	They're not very big.
	So, no.
	Then they know who we are.
	We don't believe in anything that we actually say.
	All right, so how are we gonna take over capitalism?
	How are we gonna take over?
	I don't know.
	My head isn't sideways.
	My eyes were built correctly, so I cannot read that.
	Rise up in Prozac, I think it said.
	Okay, well, wanting to...
	Where's my Antifa friend?
	Alright, so we're going to...
	Right now we're walking to end private property.
	We're going to kill the rich.
	We're going to just take over everything.
	No more rich people.
	We're going to eat them.
	All right, we're going this way.
	This is as much exercise these people have gotten in a long time.
	But this is awesome.
	Don't touch me.
	Don't touch me.
	We're not giving consent.
	All right.
	We're in public.
	We're not giving consent to record.
	Do you know about the First Amendment?
	We're not giving consent to record.
	You don't need it.
	That's not a thing.
	You don't need consent.
	I love it.
	All right, look at them hugging.
	They're very scared and really shy right now.
	They're hugging each other, bundling up.
	It's a little cold out here.
	Look at this.
	Really stunning and brave.
	Oh my god, I'll Never recover.
	All right, so right now they're actually going to their house, their mom's house.
	They're going to their mom's house.
	They're going to go in the basement.
	They're going to warm up, have some hot cocoa, talk about destroying capitalism.
	They're going to eat the rich.
	Look at them.
	They're on their way.
	You can tell they eat a lot.
	Very cool.
	You guys go and take everybody's money.
	I think there was a study in Europe that said something like almost 90% of Antifa members live with their parents.
	Wow.
	That says all you need to know, doesn't it?
	All right.
	What a show.
	Jam-packed.
	We barely scratched the surface.
	But I think it's time that we skipped right over to the mail B. Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mail back.
	Let me touch it.
	You're not going to believe this.
	First letter.
	Pretty girl trolling Antifa.
	It's like they don't watch the show.
	But we just aired that one second ago.
	I know.
	Oh.
	Hey, poopy pants.
	I'm not sure who that's for.
	I believe that would be you.
	I've definitely pooped my pants.
	I have not.
	I was going through a real poopy pants phase like a month ago.
	I shit my butt cheeks the other day.
	How do you shit one?
	How does one shit one's butt cheeks?
	You know, when like you, you think it's a fart, a little liquid?
	Yeah, yeah, that's what I do.
	You don't fucking fill my underwear with like nine logs.
	It didn't even.
	Imagine nine logs of shit in underwear.
	That would be a lot.
	No, it's always like a fart, and then you look at the back of your underwear, and there's like a yellow highlighter pen.
	That's what I'm saying.
	It didn't make it to the underwear.
	It was still caught within my big Dominican ass cheeks.
	Good ass control, Ryan.
	Good ass control.
	I knew you'd be proud.
	By the way, I totally forgot this too.
	When my baby was born, I stole your essence.
	And the woman came in to like, I stole one of it.
	Like, this is a total Gavin ripoff.
	She comes in, she's like, okay, we're just going to weigh the baby and stuff.
	And I was like, concerned.
	And I was like, excuse me, though?
	I have a question.
	She's like, yeah, yeah, what?
	I was like, should she be this cute?
	And I was like, that's such a Gabo thing.
	No, I'm not gay and boring and corny.
	You would have said that.
	Here is some grade A hardcore pornography.
	Excuse me.
	Get those towels ready.
	All right.
	I guess we'll do an NSFW.
	Okay, maybe I'm.
	The subject is NSFW.
	It came in at 229.
	Ah.
	Let's check it out.
	I got it.
	Let's watch some porn.
	Oh, I just came and I haven't.
	Cabin in the woods.
	Someplace secluded and private, warm and cozy, way out in the middle of the wilderness.
	In the crazy world we're living in today, this version of the American Dream is becoming more popular every year.
	And though I can't tell you how to find your slice of paradise, I can show you what it looks like to build one.
	So come along with me as we build a cabin in the woods from start to finish, from the ground up.
	My name is Dave Riple, and you're watching the medical.
	Isn't it bad for heat to have it raised off the ground like that?
	Isn't the floor cold?
	This fall, I decided to build a cabin on our remote piece of property in the northern Midwest.
	In this part of the country, we get tons of snow.
	So just a little cabin that you could snow machine into in the winter would be fantastic.
	Something that could go up quick and take care of all the not on a larger scale.
	Keep going.
	Start building the rafters that go to the porch.
	Setting them up one at a time.
	Looks easy, doesn't it?
	A good tip is to have bought your wood before this year or the year previous.
	Each piece of plywood in New York is $72.
	This is a $3 million home.
	Thank goodness.
	But I did learn my lesson.
	So it's time to start putting some metal on at least part of the roof.
	The roof.
	I think this is more my budget.
	All right, that's enough.
	Thank you for the pornography, sir.
	You ever see this dude?
	He's a Canadian guy.
	I'm going to go.
	And he builds ship in the woods, like the day of.
	Like, he just goes out and fucking Joseph Robinette.
	You could watch these for hours.
	I mean, they're amazeballs.
	What do you think about a dog?
	You say we're gay for men.
	That's our gay porn.
	What do you think about a dog in that situation?
	Oh, great.
	Wonderful.
	That's the appropriate usage of a dog.
	Yeah.
	Citizen Dildo, I guess I can say his name.
	Glenn, why can't I say people's names?
	You're really going to get fired because you wrote a letter to a show?
	Do you really want to live in that America where you're not allowed to, your boss can't find out what shows you watch?
	That seems a little excessive.
	Do you work for your dad and you're 13?
	You better not be watching that show.
	Glenn Beck has an awesome series of Blackboard shows where he connects all the Weather Underground people in detail.
	They're from Fox News days back in early Obama.
	Oh, now I feel stupid for telling all these people to do a deep dive on Weather Underground.
	Well, if they're from back in the day, they don't have the new updates.
	I was talking to some producers at Fox Nation saying, you guys really got to do this.
	Do a whole documentary.
	All right, so that looks like a fun project.
	Hey, Gav and Pee-Pee Coke guy.
	That's you, Ryan.
	Oh, oh.
	You're half Japanese, but to the naked eye, you could appear to be any Asian.
	Peepee and the Coke.
	And some Chinese.
	That's back when Sarah Silverman was funny.
	Yeah.
	She was in trouble with the American Asian Society for some joke she had Done.
	And she refused.
	Not only did she refuse to apologize, which she would eagerly do today, unless it was against Christians.
	But we came back from the break and she goes, Well, when we were out to commercial here, this guy went pee-pee in my Coke.
	You know, like a funny joke?
	You know.
	You know, like a hilarious joke.
	All right.
	Well, needless to say, we're going to tell your joke again.
	Now, if the people don't know, Sarah Silverman was on Conan O'Brien about years ago at this point.
	And she told a joke, which she meant to be funny.
	It offended certain members of the Asian community.
	You asked for equal time.
	You have it here tonight.
	We have to set the stage by telling the joke again.
	Let's hear the joke.
	Tell it as quickly as you can.
	Because I'm sick of it by now.
	Likewise, it's a joke about getting a jury duty notice, and you got to fill out this form, and you send it in, and you're randomly selected, and I don't want to do jury duty.
	No one does.
	So I'm filling out the form, and my friend said, why don't you write something really inappropriate, like I hate chinks, you know?
	And I'm thinking, yeah, but when you think about it, I don't want people to think that of me.
	You know, I just want to get out of jury duty.
	So I just filled out the form and I wrote, I love chinks.
	That's not the joke, sir.
	Thank you.
	Stop.
	She goes, she wrote, I hate chinks.
	And then she looked at it and she goes, that's not me.
	What the hell am I doing?
	That's not what I'm about.
	So I took a pen, I scratched it out, and I wrote, I love chinks.
	Imagine that's how they introduce them.
	And you have equal time to respond to that.
	Well, that's the argument I had with my friend Leslie.
	She goes, I go, remember, Leslie, now you're one of them?
	I defended you when they called you racist.
	Remember hipster racism?
	And she goes, maybe we were.
	Why can't you evolve?
	And I'm like, what?
	I go, you were making jokes.
	And she goes, jokes can be racist.
	Look at the 16 candles every time they showed long duck dong.
	I know I'm repeating myself.
	It's like a greatest hits thing.
	It's the same point.
	And I don't get why that's racist.
	To have him go, hoy roll, and then dong.
	I know I sound crazy, but just make it a Scottish guy.
	Make it anyone else.
	Is it racist now?
	It's called a stereotype.
	Hey, Gavin, PP, joke guy, just wondering why you were scaring children in Africa.
	Oh, this video got out?
	No, he's afraid of me.
	He's not broning.
	Come here.
	Just touch it.
	Don't cry, okay?
	Look at that hairy arm.
	Look at that hairy arm.
	The guy that looked just like me made all the clothes and shoes you're wearing and all the bottles and boxes behind you and the wood that was the concept of cardboard.
	The paint, where do you think he got paint from, buddy?
	He's never seen it five.
	I had a black friend that my eldest boy was petrified of when he was three.
	When my friend was three, I mean.
	I used to hang out with three-year-olds.
	When my friend was three.
	Sup, fellas, just got to say you have some really ungrateful viewers.
	The number of people writing in, constantly whining about this going wrong and that wasn't right, is hair whitening.
	Constantly complaining about Maddie or this episode sucks, not to mention all the pompous money I was writing about how you're wrong all the time.
	Come on, show a little gratitude, you arrogant fags.
	It's a miracle G-Dog has a show at all.
	I guess it makes a little sense.
	Most adults today are actually excited for another Spider-Man movie.
	Doesn't it look like a piece of shit?
	Like, I have to take my kids, my youngest kid now, to these stupid movies.
	And so you have to tolerate superheroes occasionally.
	It's like every superhero in the world is in one movie.
	Shouldn't be surprised that they act like little kids.
	Either way, to my fellow baby monsters, cut G some slack.
	What a nice thing to say.
	We'll end with a long one.
	This one is called A Note of Thanks, and thanks is in quotation marks.
	Ryan?
	Okay.
	It came in yesterday at 1.39 a.m.
	Ahoy, Gavin and Ryan.
	When I think back on my wayward teen years, I invariably think of the articles that you wrote for Vice.
	And I'm sorry to get so sentimental here, but they really meant the world to me.
	Vice was hailed as a pop culture phenomenon and embraced all over the world.
	But in the small suburb where I lived, no one knew what Vice was.
	And Vice had no media empire.
	It was just a small magazine.
	But what a magazine.
	Wasn't easy to find in Torrance, but I eventually found an indie record shop that stocked it.
	And after inhaling a few issues, I began to specifically seek out your contributions for their life wisdom.
	I felt like I was getting all kinds of priceless knowledge from an elder brother that had returned from the promised land.
	I sponged up the stuff that Vice recommended, such as Jim Goad's Answer Me, which really blew me away.
	I cherished each one, reading them from cover to cover, over and over.
	And it slowly lost its charm.
	I would say it quickly lost its charm after I left.
	It began to become less sincere and more of a pandering, self-consciously hip pose, all surface ennui.
	Now it's embarrassingly, embarrassingly anemic and woke.
	I searched for several of the articles from some of my favorite issues, and many have been deleted from the database.
	Yes, that's what I discussed earlier.
	So I guess that they were not content with merely ruining a good thing.
	They also have to go back into the old issues and censor stuff, which of course is both dishonest and morally irresponsible.
	You know, if you go to the Vice Guide to Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll, that's got the first 10 years highlights, of which I wrote about 90%.
	I think Shane and Strush have one article each in there.
	And I used my actual name, I believe, for most of those.
	Or Christy Bradnox, who is also me.
	So that's a good way.
	Pull that up, Ryan.
	The Vice Guide to Sex and Drugs and Rock and Roll.
	Yeah, that's got all the good ones in it.
	I heard that you left the magazine years ago.
	Yes, in 2008, and more recently, I heard that you had gone crazy.
	That is true.
	So, when I started to watch Get Off My Lawn clips on YouTube, I was so relieved.
	And discovering censored TV has really been eye-opening, partly because I don't think I ever actually consciously realized how fucked up the media's reality management programming really was.
	Partly because it was so ubiquitous.
	Yeah, I guess that's the narrative, right?
	I was cool and dope, and then I went insane after the media's written house narrative fell apart.
	Okay, so that's one of the reasons I wanted to read this, besides the fact that it makes me feel nice.
	My job is to sort of sense the temperature in the room.
	And my gut is saying that the temperature in America has shifted post-Written House.
	I think people are realizing that the bad guys they heard about ain't so bad.
	And I think the people that are on the right that were hiding because they didn't want to end up in prison forever are realizing that there is still some justice in the world and they can speak out.
	So I think we've reached a turning point here.
	It's very subtle.
	It's hard to detect.
	It may only be 10 degrees.
	But 10 degrees becomes thousands of miles when you go long enough.
	They kept on insisting that the jury were the ones that had it wrong.
	It was a watershed moment, not just for me.
	It was shocking in the rawest way to see such a stark distortion of reality conjured, then disseminated back in real time.
	Now, we broadly see that every news story seems tailored to fit a pre-existing narrative, to kindle and exacerbate fears, and provoke the impotent outrage of the viewer.
	Thank God for Censored TV, which is righteous and on fire with the truth, bawls out, warts and all.
	I missed your wit, nerve, and brains, and I'm so stoked that you have a new home here on Censored TV.
	Discovering it was like reuniting with my long-lost brother.
	Respectfully yours, Jason McAllister, 324 Pickmar Boulevard Apartment 3C, Torrance, Italy, Europe.
	Torrance is in California, right?
	Yes.
	Yes, that's a fake name.
	It does say what time he's usually home to, but we won't read that out of his for his privacy.
	That's fair.
	All right, let's get to the final vid.
	Uh, go to 5-1.
	Fucking 5-1.
	I thought this was fake when I first saw it.
	It's a very big fish.
	So you throw the lure over there.
	How do you catch these fucking things?
	Can you effing believe that?
	Do you think that's real, Ryan?
	Let me see.
	I thought it was a giant eel.
	I know that there are fish as big as that, but let's see if this is...
	Yeah, that's real.
	Yeah, it's called a Wells catfish.
	And they easily get up to 200 pounds.
	You ever see monster fish?
	River monsters?
	Of course.
	They get bigger than that.
	200 pounds.
	If you think before refrigeration, like say you're a tribe, that's too much meat.
	You'd have to have 20 people.
	It's not going to last for more than a day.
	You better get eaten.
	You better get some salt on that.
	I don't want 200 pounds of fish.
	I probably eat 200 pounds of fish every 30 years.
	So it's a lifetime supply because I'm going to be dead in 30 years.
	But go to 5-2.
	I had to look into this to see what the fuck this is.
	I don't know much about fish or fishing or hunting.
	I'm a fag.
	But yeah, pretty regular to get a 200-pounder.
	So what do you do?
	You shoot it in the head like an alligator?
	Because that can't be wriggling around on your boat.
	You got to stab it in the brain.
	You can skip all around that.
	It took him forever to get it on the boat.
	Look at that thing.
	Not the best audio in the world.
	I can't see shit.
	It's not easy to pick up 200 pounds.
	That's a dude.
	I'm 193 pounds.
	You can get two Chris Cuomos to lift it up.
	Holy shit.
	That's a funny murder.
	All right, guys, that's it for the Friday show.
	We will see you on Monday.
	Don't worry.
	We'll be jam-packing censored TV with all kinds of other contributors while I gallivant around the city dressed in women's clothing.
	What did we learn today?
	We learned that we're living in clown world.
	Things are still nuts.
	They're canceling an artist for daring to think outside the box.
	But they're also eventually canceling the biggest douche at CNN because he used CNN to corrupt women's lives.
	And we're also seeing justice in Andrew Cuomo, where he murdered people in the name of making himself look cool and making Trump look bad.
	So there's been some funny murders going on.
	I think there is.
	The times they are a changing.
	So why don't you take a break from politics this weekend and just enjoy yourself with your family.
	Go out, have a beer, don't get too wasted.
	And carpe the diem.
	Get off your phone, get away from the TV, try to experience life.
	My new thing these days is to be a time traveler where I'm 75 years old.
	I wish I had spent more time with my kids.
	I wish I enjoyed the moment more.
	We keep talking about TGIF and we want to enjoy Saturday.
	And then we sit on our asses and watch TV and stare at our phones.
	Staring at your phone is time traveling, but you're going Forward, you're just throwing hours and hours in the garbage.
	You look at your phone four hours a day.
	Are you out of your mind?
	No one watched TV four hours a day back when we were a TV culture.
	Stop.
	Be bored.
	Read.
	Look out the window.
	Pontificate.
	Think.
	How are we going to have ideas if we're constantly looking at someone else's brain?
	And please don't tell me you look at TikTok.
	That's completely unforgivable.
	So it's time to pretend that you're a 75-year-old who was able to zap back in time into the age that you are, whatever you are now, and just go, holy shit.
	I'm back in 2021.
	Is it Christmas yet?
	No, December just started.
	Holy shit, there's a smattering of snow.
	Wow.
	God, I'm lucky to be here.
	Boy, am I fortunate to be healthy and alive way back in 2021.
	I wish I hadn't have taken it for granted.
	I'm going to enjoy it.
	I'm going to enjoy this time travel weekend in 2021.
	TGI motherfucking F. Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave and never stop fighting.
	Thank you warmly for a dark and stormy.
	I'd slip you a fiver for another screwdriver and leave a Monto tip or a midshu lip.
	If you know what I mean, I know you know what I mean.

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