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Nov. 29, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:45:23

S04E59 - THE PANDERING

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	That was Kid Rock and his new Smash hit, Don't Tell Me How to Live.
	That's what it's called, right?
	It's called Monster Truck.
	No, it is not.
	Oh, featuring Monster Truck.
	You're an idiot.
	What's it called, Ryan?
	Don't Tell Me How to Live.
	We'd like to, before we get too into that, though, let's take a quick moment to showcase Pinhead's new hairdo.
	Oh, don't, don't, take off your headphones, please.
	It's part of my job.
	I need to keep the headphones on.
	No, you need to take them off.
	I guess for a second I could.
	Take them off, please.
	Where do I put them?
	I don't know where to put them.
	Just give us a profile there, Pinhead.
	Okay, Google Image Pinhead Freak, because that's what you are.
	He got this little Vulcan hairdo that peeks up like this and turns his head into a pinhead, which is a horrible disease to have.
	I believe it's a form of cranial dysphasia.
	It's what Beetlejuice from the WACPA has.
	And it's what Ryan looks like.
	Yes.
	I tried to contact his barber to give him a tip.
	I'm very happy with what this barber has done to our show by adding a lot of humor to it, a lot of laughs.
	I was laughing all day.
	All day.
	I have a tip for him.
	Every time I looked at Ryan, I would laugh my head off.
	I got a tip for him.
	Be better at cutting hair.
	No, please don't.
	Not Ryan's hair.
	No, siree.
	I got to say, this is pretty much.
	Yeah, there you go.
	You're the fourth.
	Oh, that poor guy.
	He lived a long life.
	He played a female pinhead for some reason in the circus and in that movie Freaks.
	But he was a man who grew his hair on the back, like me, to hide his pinhead.
	It's something I...
	Maybe, Ryan, you could get a job at a freak show.
	I don't want that.
	I'll tell you, I saved this for the show.
	Now, I got a haircut from the guy day before Thanksgiving, and I wasn't happy with it.
	Is it supposed to be an Edgar?
	Did you go to a Puerto Rican place?
	I don't know what that means.
	Edgar.
	What's Edgar?
	It's the new...
	God, you don't know anything.
	Edgar is like what Mexicans are.
	It's like this same, like a Ned in Glasgow or a Yabo in London.
	A Chad.
	A Chav.
	A Chad.
	It's Karen.
	It's an archetype.
	God.
	But it's cool.
	Like guys, young Mexicans want to be Edgars.
	And if someone gets that Aztec hairdo.
	Oh, I've seen that.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And then they're not authentically Mexican, they go, you're trying to be Edgar, and it's not working.
	It's similar to this.
	It's got a bowl front.
	Well, yeah, and there's a big space there.
	So where'd you get your hair cut at?
	The National Institute for the Blind?
	Barnum and Baileys.
	P.T. Barnum fucking cooked it up.
	Edgar Haircut.
	Oh, there we go.
	There you go.
	That's you.
	But way funnier.
	That guy looks way cooler than you.
	No, he doesn't.
	Yes, he does, dude.
	You look hilarious.
	How hard was I laughing today?
	Those are Puerto Ricans, Mrs. Guffy.
	Very hard.
	Too hard for me to like.
	So here's the story.
	I get the haircut.
	I love the little nub at the top.
	It's even poking out over your headphones.
	It was a $90 haircut.
	90?
	90.
	With the tip, and I bought two things of shampoo and conditioner.
	Like a tea tree oil.
	Makes your head feel nice.
	Because otherwise, there's only lady conditioner in the house and shampoo.
	So every now and then...
	Ryan, there's no such thing as male conditioner.
	Men don't use conditioner.
	That's what I thought for a long time.
	Men shouldn't even use shampoo.
	The fact that you are buying shampoo and conditioner is embarrassing.
	The fact that you buy it at a hair salon is doubly embarrassing.
	There's a sample size.
	The fact that you leave a barber shop spending anything under $30 is outrageous.
	So I have a barber back at home, but this guy I trusted, and he delivered my haircut from the mullet to regular haircut, did a great job.
	I go back.
	He's kind of in a rush, and I can tell.
	That's clear.
	Yeah.
	Oh, we can all tell.
	Well, this isn't the haircut that you see before you.
	I'll get to that.
	So he does the face on the towel with the lavender crap and shampoos and all this stuff.
	Lavender?
	Do you go to a woman's hair salon?
	Perriere?
	No, it's one of those like Williamsburg hipster, like come in and have a whiskey.
	I didn't have a whiskey, but it's like one of those like treat you like a gentleman type of places.
	Treat you like a woman, I think is what you feel like.
	Treat you like a gentleman.
	A gentlewoman.
	And it's Perrier.
	Perrier.
	So I get one of those.
	You get a Perrier, yeah.
	And it's included.
	So I'm like, I feel like a king.
	Yeah, kings get to drink water.
	Sparkling.
	And I feel like a real Edgar.
	And then anyway, so now I started to already forget what Edgar means.
	It means it's like a blue collar thing.
	It means like homeboy, redneck, but Mexican.
	Yeah, but I felt like in Canada, you'd be a hoser.
	I felt like that.
	So the way you'd feel like an Edgar is if you were drinking in a street corner, in an alleyway with a 40 in your hand.
	That's what an Edgar would do.
	They wouldn't have Perrier, you fucking.
	I still felt that way.
	So anyway, I feel like Edgar, and I'm starting to live with the haircut a little more.
	And every day I wake up and I notice he's getting shittier and shittier.
	It's too much on the top and too short on the sides.
	It looks like Kramer.
	It was worse than this, believe it or not.
	He rushed through it.
	He had a three o'clock appointment, and I got there.
	He's like, just come right in.
	And so it was shitty.
	So I cut it.
	And now this is what this looks like.
	This morning, I went there and I just started chopping stuff off.
	I'm like, I'm the son of two hairdressers.
	I should be able to improve this.
	And I think it's actually better than what it was before, but it's still very bad.
	Yeah, you look like a foot soldier for Attila the Hun.
	If he was a pinhead.
	That was a very unfortunate situation.
	I don't like that at all.
	Oh, my God.
	That's fantastic.
	Boy, and then I look at myself and I look like a model for at a barbershop.
	Like I look like one of the faces that's there that, and you go, I want that one.
	You look like someone paid six bucks to see you at the San Jannaro feast in Little Italy.
	I've told you that story a hundred times.
	Remember that story?
	Hey, it's a man with the body of a snake.
	Come, you pay three bucks.
	And it's a guy stuck his head through a snake costume and he's behind a wall.
	And you're like, all right, you didn't try very hard, but that's okay.
	Hi, snake guy.
	And then the next one, pay three bucks.
	See the smallest woman in the world.
	Okay, let's go.
	So what's it going to be?
	Like a mirror and then she'll have a little body and it won't be her body.
	And turn around the corner.
	It's the smallest woman in the world.
	She's fucking this big.
	She's wearing dolly clothes.
	Because she's cold.
	Because she's small.
	Not literally the smallest woman in the world.
	Oh, yeah, that might be it.
	But yeah, I went there.
	That's your new job, Ryan.
	The Mongolian pinhead is next.
	I look normal compared to them.
	So it's all fake, except this woman was real.
	And she goes, huh, in her tiny, tiny, tiny voice.
	And my wife and I are like, well, hello, hi, okay, alrighty.
	Like we'd been ripped off with freaks the whole day, so we just assumed we could keep joking with the freaks.
	Nope, it wasn't a fucking joke.
	I saw a small woman as a freak.
	And also, we're in New York City.
	This is probably like 15 years ago, right?
	It's like 2005.
	And there's freak shows?
	What the fuck?
	That's what I like about New York.
	Then there was a thing in Coney Island called Shoot the Freak.
	And it was a black guy in a bodysuit, like a boiler suit that was all padded and he had a shield.
	And he'd walk out and you'd shoot him with a paintball gun.
	And the guy was like, come on, step right up, shoot the freak, shoot the freak.
	To the old timers, this is something they probably did before.
	To the guys my age, this is something they always wanted to try, but never could.
	And then for the young people, this is something they could try.
	What, shoot a black person?
	Is that what you're getting at?
	You just showed it there.
	That was it.
	I did it.
	I shot the freak.
	It was pretty disappointing.
	I remember when this hit the boardwalks.
	Yeah, they're too riot-shielded up.
	You don't feel like you're hurting the man, which is the goal.
	You want to hurt somebody when you go up to these things.
	Why is your internet so slow again?
	I don't know.
	This is a video.
	Oh, maybe my Wi-Fi still on from the airdrops.
	You know, Owen Benjamin used to be the throw tomatoes at me guy at the Renaissance Fair?
	I'm not...
	Believe it or not, Ryan, I'm not familiar with the Renaissance Fair and I don't know all the attractions.
	I don't have the attractions memorized.
	Well, they have this tomato thing where you throw tomatoes at a guy.
	We might have worked together if he worked at the one in...
	I think he said he worked at one in New York.
	Well, we might have cared together.
	What is that supposed to mean?
	So now let's go back to the beginning of the show before we were so brutally sidetracked by your hilarious homemade.
	Nobody asked for that to happen.
	The reason I played that song is because the Prowl Boys are in it.
	Kid Rock has been hanging with the PBs and he can't make it public, but he threw out a little clue in his video.
	If you go to 1-2, you'll notice one of the guys playing cards has a Prowl Boys tattoo on his face.
	Now, it's not easy to see, but it's not easy.
	No, I can't see it at all on this monitor.
	But in the video, it's very easy to see.
	Maybe your screen is different than mine, folks at home.
	But that guy right there has a Proud Boy PB logo with the laurels on his face.
	He's playing cards as Kid Rock plays his own lovable brand of country rock.
	There it is again.
	So a total of one second, it shows up, but it's there.
	It's inarguably the logo.
	Speaking of, I'm sorry?
	I can't believe that email from the guy.
	He says, I can't believe he didn't cover this on the show.
	As if Kid Rock makes news.
	I looked up Proud Boy Kid Rock video.
	Didn't make the news.
	We would have to have watched this video every second.
	So this guy watched every second of this video and noticed that, which is not easy to do.
	So that's a keen eye, but to expect that we would catch that.
	Yeah, can you shut up?
	It's absurd.
	Not derail the show, please.
	So the Prowboys were marching all over Long Island playing that song, among other songs, rap songs.
	It's that dude.
	I think he's Mexican.
	He's got a big truck with massive speakers on it.
	And they just went up and down Long Island.
	I don't know what they were doing, actually.
	Alarming local politicians, though.
	So if you read this whole article, they talk about how, at least the New York Post is smart enough to go with far right and not white nationalists.
	But they're blaring rap.
	So we had Chuck Schumer saying Hate has no place in this state, blah, blah, blah.
	Whatever politician you are, you say hate has no place here.
	So if you're my neighbor, you say hate has no home here, and that's your house.
	If you are the governor, you say hate has no home in this state.
	And if you're de Blasio, you say hate has no home in this city.
	So it's a fun way to find out what district you command.
	But at the very end, you hear that they're blaring rap.
	I just thought that's such a funny concept.
	This is getting into these politicians' ridiculous minds.
	White nationalists who love rap as they blared rap music from a truck.
	Don't nick a fucking horse.
	They play that music so loud.
	It's not conceivable that a white nationalist could like rap, dummies.
	He likes the pimping.
	Yo, wanna fuck these hoes?
	And he has to go, oh.
	I don't like that line.
	Gotta admit, when he talks about fucking white girls, that pisses me off.
	But I love the other stuff.
	I just blank it out when he talks about white cops and shits and says, all cops are bastards and the only pig that I eat is police.
	I don't listen to that particular line.
	Did you have any audio for that?
	Or was it just the...
	Yeah, we played it.
	I didn't hear anything.
	I want to hear what the rap was.
	I'd like to zoom it.
	Or what do you call that?
	Shazam it.
	I'd like to unicorn it.
	I'm going to guess Bryce and Gray.
	Yeah, I think you're right.
	I think the song is Biden is a bitch.
	A song was banned and it's funny.
	They cut the video right when they have the Pledge Allegiance part.
	Show Chuck Schumer's take.
	He's not happy.
	White nationalists that love rap.
	I mean...
	Have any of these people ever met one?
	Oh, so Chuck Schumer, I guess he's in charge of Nassau County and New York.
	Hate has no place in Nassau County, in New York, or across this country.
	Wait, Chuck, what do you control?
	I just set this up by saying you can tell the district they're in charge of by their, where hate has no place, but Chuck just blew that out of the water.
	I will keep working to fight racism and hatred.
	So the neo-fascist proud boys close to my office, I think the latest elections emboldened them.
	I don't remember this happening here before.
	I will not be silent.
	Their hatred has no place here.
	This is not the NASA I know.
	Who else will speak up?
	Do they really think that there's like a band of white nationalists that would march in Long Island in New York?
	Like, god damn it.
	Don't you think that's kind of weird that there's no other white nationalists in the in this county?
	Long line of oath keepers.
	Host Lee Zeldin.
	Yeah, anti-racism is number six there on the list.
	But no, they're white nationalists.
	You should get that list down to ten.
	Twelve's an ugly number.
	What could you do there?
	Venerate the house for life.
	Glorify the entrepreneur could be one?
	No.
	Twelve is kind of redundant.
	Minimal government, maximum freedom.
	Anti-PC, anti-drug war, close the borders, anti-racism.
	Anti-racial guilts should just go.
	You're anti-racism.
	We're gone.
	So we can kill seven and twelve.
	That doesn't.
	Yeah, that's ten.
	All right.
	That's that Lee Zeldon dude's doom, though.
	Proud boys are political and justice kryptonite.
	That's why Max and John are doing four years.
	After my talk, where there was that fight, I mean, politicians used Proud Boys as an allegation to destroy each other.
	Are you a Proud Boy, senator, blah, blah, blah?
	And then that was the end of them.
	I mean, it was used in the presidential debates twice.
	Mr. Trump, will you disavow the Proud Boys?
	And then he later does.
	And now Rittenhouse is throwing the club under the bus.
	Saying, I didn't know those guys were Proud Boys.
	It was that evil lawyer, John Pierce, who we're going to get in here.
	I'm going to fly John Pierce down and have a long talk with him.
	He got eaten alive by that Tucker interview.
	I mean, his reputation was destroyed.
	I can tell you my two cents without ruining Rittenhouse's chances.
	This has become political, and many people have told me also a question that involved the Proudhouse comes from Brian in Hampton, Virginia.
	And Brian says, Mr. Rittenhouse, you have stated that you are not a racist, but yet there's video footage of you using hand signs that are used by groups that are considered by many to be white supremacists.
	Why have you associated with members of groups like the Proud Boys?
	Why have you used hand signs that are commonly associated with white supremacy?
	That's a good question.
	I didn't know that the OK hand sign was a symbol for white supremacy, just as I didn't know that those people in the bar were Proud Boys.
	They were set up by my former attorney who was fired because of that, for putting me in situations like that with people I don't agree with by having them set up for security without telling us their background.
	And if I would have known that they were Proud Boys, I would have said absolutely not.
	So to be clear, which attorney put you in that bar?
	John Pierce.
	He took you to that bar.
	He arranged it.
	He wasn't there, but he set it up and arranged it.
	Your attorney arranged for a then-17-year-old to go to a bar to meet those people.
	For them to do security.
	And then they asked to buy me a drink, and I said, sure.
	And they knew that you were 17?
	In Wisconsin, it's legal.
	To drink at 17 in a bar?
	You should know that?
	Great journalism, lady.
	How can you not know that?
	Teaching the journalist on the line of the world.
	even if you don't know that intrinsically, the laws of Wisconsin, if you're interviewing Kyle Rittenhouse, would you not have looked into that?
	In Wisconsin, it's perfectly legal to drink in a bar if you're with your parents.
	Yas.
	That's true.
	This lady was a dumb bitch and didn't know that.
	It's weird how it works.
	Yas.
	Kyle, here's what I...
	You don't have to say yes or no.
	Okay.
	But I think what you're doing is distancing yourself from the Prowboys to maximize your litigation.
	Yeah.
	I'm not going to answer that verbally, but I will do this.
	Okay.
	Well, I'm not mad at that.
	If it's going to lead to $90 million, then go ahead, throw us under the bus.
	Actually, let's just jump to Rittenhouse then for a second.
	Did you finish that interstitial?
	No, I'm still working on it, but it's coming out pretty cool.
	So the lawsuit I'm talking about, the first one of many, 2-5, he's suing two joyless cunts who have nothing exciting in their lives named Joy and Whoopi.
	Remember when Whoopee meant fucking?
	When you and your newlywed are making Whoopee, does she queeve and do you break for queeves?
	$60 million defamation lawsuit against the views Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg.
	Let the games begin.
	By the way, Whoopi Goldberg looks even uglier than that these days.
	If you could go downhill from there, she has.
	But something just popped into my head.
	Remember the dude from Star Trek, the really pretentious guy, Jean-Luc Picard?
	Yeah.
	When he announced on The View that he wants Whoopi to be in the show and everyone clapped?
	Like, if she was white, it would just be a phone call or an email, but they have to make it a huge deal because she's black.
	And that's going to be the subject of today's show because I got back from Chicago where the pandering is exhausting.
	I didn't realize how racially cool New York City is.
	Like, black people don't talk to you like you're a piece of shit here.
	No one takes any shit from anyone.
	But in Chicago, and I'm sorry to our Chicagoan baby monsters, y'all take a lot of shit.
	It reminds me of, I don't know, an imminent Rhodesia or South Africa, Zimbabwe or something.
	Whites are second-class citizens in that town.
	The general vibe of Chicago is white people have ruined the world.
	They've destroyed black lives and blacks are pissed.
	I'm not going to accept your apology, but I'm not going to fuck with you anymore.
	But watch your mouth.
	Because if you so much step out of line, I swear to fucking God.
	But yeah.
	Alex Kurtzman, who is the senior executive producer of Star Trek Pakal and all of his colleagues, of which I am one, want to invite you into the second season.
	Like it's a make-a-wish.
	Like, you know, the show that I was already on.
	Standing ovation.
	Look at that fat fuck in the back.
	That's Chicago in a nutshell.
	Stop.
	That is Chicago.
	That guy standing up.
	First of all, what are you doing at the view?
	How did you get there?
	Did you buy tickets?
	Did you wait in line to watch the view?
	Look at that dumb fuck next to him.
	Yuck.
	Where are you guys going?
	Oh, we're going to go check out the view.
	No, seriously.
	What are you guys doing?
	What do you mean, what are we doing?
	We get to see Whoopi.
	And there's going to be a big announcement about her career where she's going to do an acting gig for a week.
	You mean the show I was on when it was good and culturally relevant?
	Oh, cool.
	I get to be on that show.
	But now it's mine.
	Once again, you interrupt the show.
	Motherfucker, that show was good once, and now it ain't.
	No, it was never good.
	It's for losers.
	Well, Star Trek is for losers.
	Tell that to Milo Yiannopoulos.
	Okay.
	I love to.
	Look at the hugs.
	Everyone's getting up to hug her.
	They're still fucking clapping.
	Still going.
	The pandering.
	I just, like, I reached a pandering limit here.
	But before we abandon Rittenhouse and get into the pandering, his school's trying to get him kicked out.
	They don't want racists in their school.
	I mean, my wife is constantly upset that we're associated with white nationalism, and it is a curse in many ways.
	But I try to tell her, I go, honey, everyone is.
	Trump, they throw the word around it.
	It doesn't mean anything anymore.
	Half the country is considered a white supremacist.
	They're rallying to boot Kyle Right now.
	Okay, so let's get to my trip to Chicago, shall we?
	I have a few other announcements, but we're all over the place here.
	So I'm watching TV in Chicago, which I've never done before.
	And I said to one of my cousins, my family, part of my Scottish family went and married a Mexican.
	So I have all these Mexican relatives in Chicago.
	And they're all MAGA, because they're like fourth generation, or whatever 1916 is.
	I said to the patriarch, he's this 90-year-old, I was like, so you're here legally or illegally?
	He goes, no, he came here in 1916.
	And that was kind of a general pattern too with my riffing.
	I was riffing with the coloreds.
	And every time I would, the colored person would laugh.
	And the whites around would go, oh, Jesus.
	Including my own family.
	At one point, I get in the car and the guy has a Quran there.
	And I can tell he's African.
	He's pitch black.
	And he has like a cheap brown suit on with a dirty dress shirt.
	He's obviously not an American.
	And I'm like, I'm sorry, I almost sat on your Quran.
	Are you from Africa?
	And my wife is like, oh, for fuck's sakes.
	And he's laughing.
	Yes.
	I'm from the Sudan.
	Ah, the Sudan.
	Split in two, like Pakistan and India.
	You are from the north half, because you have a Quran, so you are a Muslim.
	He's laughing his head off.
	We're having a gay old time.
	And then I said to him, so you just come here, it's so hot, you come here, it's so cold.
	And he's like, in Sudan, it is 105.
	I had never seen snow.
	And I go, okay, I have a tip for you.
	Don't eat the yellow snow, only the white.
	And then again, he's laughing his head off.
	He goes, that's a good tip.
	I won't go near the yellow snow.
	Anyway, the side, the subtext to that story I just told you is stop pandering.
	Like, stop being overly sweet and apologetic.
	There's this sort of capitulation in that town.
	So let's start at the beginning.
	We're at the airport.
	I have photos to back all this up.
	And I just, like, New York City, for all its faults, it doesn't really pander.
	I mean, I'm sure it does.
	We've got Thrive, $800 million.
	But as far as the general vibe walking down the street, maybe it's because of the Scotch-Irish background and they're more Midwestern, which is more Germanic.
	There isn't this like, oh, so sally, so Sally.
	It's like, what?
	What'd you say?
	What was that?
	I've noticed that with the homeless people.
	Like when a homeless man comes up to me and he's like, yo, I got to go, no, and keep walking.
	And then I tried that in DC when I used to do CR-TV there.
	And I would do my usual, no.
	And then this guy's like, what the fuck you said to me, bitch?
	My name's Paul.
	What's your name?
	And I'm like, nothing.
	He goes, I'm Paul.
	You better remember that name when I'm fucking you in your ass.
	Oh.
	As Bill Hicks says, I guess it wasn't your attitude that got you on the streets, is it?
	Yeah.
	Black Lives Matter fucking everywhere.
	Here in Chicago, on churches, God says all, it was like in this church, Black Lives Matter and God agrees or some shit.
	Like, what?
	I should have taken a picture of the sign because the sign sort of canceled out Black Lives Matter.
	It said, God believes that all lives matter.
	And it doesn't say, it didn't say all lives matter because that's crypto.
	You're not allowed to say that.
	But it was like Black Lives Matter to God too or something.
	And you're like, okay, so in other words, all lives matter because it's God, right?
	So can we drop this shit now?
	Okay, let me show you what I'm talking about.
	So go to the beginning.
	There's the airport.
	I hope these pop up in chronological order.
	So I'm at the airport.
	They don't.
	Okay, well, there's a book of, this is still in New York, so this doesn't help my case, but maybe this is what started to get pandering in my head.
	I see a book of Bruce Springsteen and Barack Obama.
	They're renegades, born in the USA.
	Well, one of them is.
	Thanks to Donald Trump for dispelling that story permanently by saying, I'll give $100,000 to anyone who can prove he wasn't born here.
	I mean, everyone said that was racist, but that kind of is ending the debate, isn't it?
	I don't think he was born in Hawaii.
	Chuck Johnson showed me his birth certificate.
	It doesn't look anything like the other birth certificates of the era, but I don't really care, to be honest.
	But the thing that every time I see these two now, even as individuals, I cannot get over the bullshit that Barack Obama said, where he said Clarence Clemens was, everyone loved him on stage, but that's the kind of guy you'd see him in the bar and they'd be calling him the N-word.
	Clarence Clemens, the most adored man in America.
	I mean, God.
	The only person I would worry about with Clarence Clemens would be his dick because it would look like Freddy's face from so much getting blown.
	I really butchered that joke.
	Getting blown at it.
	That bugged me, by the way, for weeks, that statement.
	And it bugged me that Bruce Brinkstein went, yeah, so true.
	Because he's probably been, I'm sure he's been to 100 bars with Clarence Clemens and sees everyone going, yeah, I bet they love him more than the boss.
	Clarence.
	Look at this psychobabble shit.
	The limits of optimism.
	Even when we fall short of living in the glory days.
	And we don't stop believing.
	That's not my song.
	Okay.
	And if we don't, when this chick pops in, I need to jump in because there is a younger generation that may look at this inability to deliver.
	And they say, look, we're not getting anywhere.
	We're not getting anywhere compromising.
	We're not getting anywhere having this conversation the way people have had it before.
	Because I'm not offering a choice saying cynicism, everything's bad, nothing works, and North Star and Hope, right?
	But I'm trying to say, hey, look, what are the limits of optimism?
	Is this Sarah Silverman and Blackface?
	Do you know what she's saying?
	Do you know what the point is here?
	Yeah, don't be optimistic because we're fucked.
	No detective shit.
	Well, maybe, sort of.
	What they're saying is, look, America's always going to be racist and they're always going to see you as less than.
	So rather than strive for full equality, which by the way, you achieved 50 years ago at the very least, probably more than that, instead of hoping for total equality, just accept that you won't be lynched if you go to the grocery store.
	That's what they're all fucking saying.
	I'm trying to say, hey, look, what are the limits of optimism?
	That's why I use the term fighting optimism, you know, because I don't see any other choice.
	You know, I think you've got to adhere to the truth.
	You've got to adhere to the basic values in our institutions, that those things are important.
	They're there for all to see.
	Can you believe this guy built his career on working class America and he's such an elitist cunt?
	They're both frauds in a way.
	Barack built his whole career on I'm a black dude, which he is not.
	He's a Hawaiian woman who's overweight and communist.
	And then Bruce built his whole career on like, I'm a hard scrabble guy and I'm looking for a job.
	And they blew up the chicken man in Philly last night.
	And lots of my friends get blowed up too.
	I'm the kind of guy who's getting blowed up on a regular basis.
	And all my friends are dying under trucks.
	So fucking, I'm a hard worker and I wear welder's pants.
	Okay, I wear them too.
	But at least I'm not fucking banking my whole existence on being blue collar.
	Don't you just love how this woman just comes in and scolds the president, like the ex-president?
	I need to shut up.
	Look, she's scripted everything she's saying.
	And you're right, she looks like Sarah Solomon.
	Okay, so let's get back to the pandering of Chicago and America in general.
	So there's that.
	And then I'm on the plane, and I've had a few.
	And I'm looking at the pilot's, the cabin, the cockpit, the door to the cockpit.
	It looks like Wells Fargo.
	It looks like a safe for a bank.
	It's got a thing you turn.
	And whenever the pilot goes piss, they pull out the drink cart and put it there to hold back the terrorists.
	And when I was a little kid, I've been traveling since I was born.
	And I would have a little pilot's book when I was like four, five, six, all the way up to like, I think I've stopped caring about when I was maybe 13.
	And I wore my little pilot wings.
	And I would go into the cockpit.
	I'd sit in the fucking chair.
	And they'd write their name, pilot Ryan Rivera.
	Then they'd sign it.
	And we'd have the flight and the flight number.
	And I had a whole little thin, it was like a skinny wide book of pilots' names.
	I don't know why the fuck, whatever.
	Kids like that kind of shit.
	Now it's a safe.
	And that's because of fucking Muslims.
	Not just terrorists.
	We've had terrorists before.
	In the early 70s, hijacking a plane wasn't that unusual.
	In fact, look at the Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, his brother, was killed attacking a terrorist who hijacked a plane and brought it, I think, to Egypt.
	It was a thing back in the Weather Underground days.
	Ooh, I want to get to that too.
	The DA of San Francisco is literally a terrorism baby who was raised by the Weather Underground.
	Anyway, that's a whole other deep dive we'll do.
	But so that's pissing me off.
	So I saw Bruce and Obama at the airport store, and that pissed me off.
	And then I'm pissed off on the plane.
	And then I look over at my daughter.
	There's the door I was just talking about.
	I look over at my daughter.
	She's got her mask on.
	I think that's fucking China.
	China playing with bioweapons and fucking up and infecting the entire world because they're a malicious, power-hungry, soulless Eastern force that wants to dominate and control the West and replace all of our joy and freedom with tyranny.
	Fuck them.
	Oh, wait.
	There's two other things.
	I'm at the airport and I decide, it's obviously a massive lineup.
	So I go, you know what?
	I'll get that clear thing.
	I should have that by now, where the eye, the retina thing, I'll get it for the whole family and we'll skip the line.
	So we do.
	It's free for the first month and it's like $250 a year or something.
	And so I'm getting in the lineup and they go up to the machine and it reads, they do it there at the airport.
	It reads your eyes, then you pay them and blah, blah, blah.
	Fingerprint and everything.
	And so there's a black dude there and he, everyone in Chicago wears Air Jordans, by the way.
	Everyone.
	So he's gone on $700 pair of Jordans.
	My son kept looking them up and showing me, like, there'd be some teenager in front of us with off-white Air Jordans, $6,000 shoes.
	I mean, first of all, if you go near the South Side, you're going to get rolled for your $6,000 shoes.
	But anyway, the guy with, according to my son, $900 shoes on, so I guess he's poor.
	What does that say?
	Prevent the flu?
	Now it says give thanks to that building.
	Anyway, so he goes to one kiosk.
	Okay, so you're handled.
	So I move over here.
	And then the guy's like, okay, sir.
	So it's here.
	This was the guy that was leading me, by the way.
	And he goes, hey, I was next.
	That's how black Chicago people talk to white people.
	And I go, all right, I saw you at the kiosk.
	So I passed.
	You had your kiosk.
	And he's probably not used to white people talking like that.
	So he goes, he goes, I wasn't talking to you.
	Now, I have to admit, I didn't take it further.
	And that bugged me this entire trip.
	It's still bugging me today that I just went and moved on.
	I should have said more stuff.
	I should have said, go fuck yourself.
	Or like, what are you doing?
	What's your problem here?
	You're starting to fight at the airport?
	That's my favorite one.
	Because I have had people start fights with me, black people, at like one police plaza.
	We were going there to sign up for a ride along.
	And this guy, he was actually Puerto Rican.
	But he's like, yo, he tried to bud in line.
	And you know how we are with budding.
	And I'm like, sir, we all left, but we'll go back to our original spots in the line.
	He goes, who the fuck are you?
	You think you're smarter than me?
	Hey?
	And I had a scarf on.
	He goes, you think you're British?
	You think you're more British than me?
	Yeah.
	I was born in England.
	You're 0% British in every way, shape, and form.
	And I was like, so that's what we're going to do?
	We're getting a fight at one police plaza.
	That's what you want to do?
	He goes, I'll throw down anywhere, motherfucker.
	Takes his jacket off.
	The police are everywhere, obviously.
	We're at number one police plaza.
	Anyway, I should have said more.
	But we're at the airport.
	I got five kids, luggage everywhere.
	And so that's the airport done, I guess.
	Oh, and don't get clear.
	On the way back, I go, can we just go to the clear line?
	We got the I thing.
	And they go, that's only in Terminal 1.
	Jesus Christ.
	So now I got, they only have TSA pre-check.
	So now I either quit the clear thing or sign up to all of them.
	I think I'm just going to sign up to all of them.
	I feel like I've been traveling since 1970.
	I think it's time I got on like air miles and that lounge that they go to.
	Kumi is into all that shit.
	He has his air miles.
	He only does that one airline.
	He knows all the planes.
	He's like, this is the only plane where first class is like above the pilot and shit.
	I got to start taking this seriously.
	I just hate traveling so much that I always think this is my last flight.
	I'm going to Chicago and back and then we'll be done.
	But it's not true.
	I'll be in Florida in a month probably visiting my folks.
	Okay, so what's the next pick?
	They're out of order, but we got...
	Maybe I should just go to the newspapers.
	Because I get the Chicago Tribune.
	I'm sitting, everyone's making turkey, and I'm flipping through the newspaper.
	And the TV, okay, I said to my cousin, let's do a shot every time they mentioned a straight white male.
	We did two shots in two hours.
	That includes commercials, by the way.
	So this one, here's the cover, the Chicago Tribune.
	Jury Convicts three in killing Arbury.
	Now, you're sane like me.
	Those guys are vigilantes.
	They're similar to Rittenhouse, though.
	There had been a lot of robberies in the neighborhood.
	The police were not doing their job, so they decided to drive out and question this dude.
	Maybe they shouldn't have gotten out of their cars with their guns.
	They should have stayed in the car.
	He could bang on the windows, whatever.
	Maybe they approached him too quickly.
	Maddie says they should have just pointed a gun at him and waited until the police get there.
	I'll tell you what, they shouldn't have fucking videotaped it.
	But if I was feeling grumpy as a judge, I'd give them a year.
	Maybe the guy who had the gun that went off, I'd give him a year.
	Maybe probation.
	They all have life because of the pandering.
	And if it was the other way around, it wouldn't even be in the newspaper.
	This would not be here.
	If three black guys shot a white dude, look at the fucking parade.
	That story is dying on the vine.
	And Washington Post and CNN are calling it when an accident.
	That's one of the cases I've seen.
	And also when they say, when a car attacked people, when an SUV attacked people.
	They won't even recognize.
	I'll get into that in a sec.
	I got a bunch of stuff on that.
	But like, the guy was clearly a racist.
	He hated white people.
	He purposely went in there and killed them, both purposely and purposefully.
	He weaved, he sped up.
	He was very meticulous about his killing.
	He particularly hated old white people, and that's who he got.
	He got the dancing grannies.
	He got a little boy, a little girl, dead.
	Six times as many people as Charlottesville.
	They're still talking about Charlottesville.
	Lawsuits just issued the other day for Charlottesville.
	The fucking guy who killed Heather Heyer got a year plus 400, no, sorry, life plus 450 years.
	Have you ever heard of that before?
	Like, Jeffrey Dahmer just got life.
	Anyway, so that, yeah, that's the best meme I've ever seen.
	There's nothing more frightening in America today than an angry white man.
	Boom.
	Knocked off the tracks.
	Same day.
	Same fucking day.
	Darren Brooks cleans up.
	The guy in the arbory tribe, by the way, that didn't do anything, got life also.
	The third guy who was just filming it?
	That was fucked up.
	They tried them all together.
	Yeah, that's weird.
	Can you go on the full studio cam?
	I want to make sure that Leroy didn't just piss on the carpet.
	Do you mean Jim Entertainment?
	Okay, so let's go back to that newspaper.
	So that's, so what happened?
	And I'm so sick of their heroes.
	Like George Floyd and fucking Breonna Taylor and this mentally ill career criminal loser who was casing the joint.
	Let's not pretend he was a fucking jogger.
	Not for one second.
	So then page two.
	These people are being kicked out of their homes right before Thanksgiving.
	Oh, that's mean, isn't it?
	The owner's like, the government condemned the building.
	You keep flooding it.
	You burnt the entire top portion.
	Some lunatic burnt the top floor and held his daughter and his wife ransom after he had stabbed them.
	They managed to escape.
	He jumped out.
	So now that has no roof.
	That killed the heating system.
	So they start heating their apartments by turning the oven on and leaving it open.
	That led to another fire.
	Sorry, you abused my building to death.
	It's now garbage.
	You got to go.
	It's illegal for you to stay here.
	And they're like, what the fuck?
	So then in that article, the owner of the building is getting them hotel rooms.
	I mean, and I was reading it just going, can you imagine being on welfare in subsidized housing?
	I would be so fucking guilt-ridden and stressed out.
	Every minute would feel dirty.
	I would be like, I'd be at McDonald's.
	It's a dumb thing to imagine because you'd fix it in an hour.
	That was one problem with the new Ghostbusters.
	She's so broke, she has to go to her ex-Ghostbuster dad's house because that's all he left her.
	And she's milling around, going out for dinner and stuff.
	And you're like, what's your job, lady?
	You have two kids, nothing going on.
	You've just been evicted.
	Get a job.
	So that pissed me off, right?
	Keep going in the newspaper.
	How the fuck did your three-year-old get out the window, you stupid bitch?
	In your free house with your welfare and your food stamps.
	He's black, of course.
	And they think the brother may have pushed him out?
	The fuck?
	So that's pathetic.
	Next.
	And then just relentless charity, a good Samaritan that works at Good Samaritan.
	Every other story was about free shit for Black people and white people doing their best to do what's right.
	Like, when does it end?
	What's next?
	That's more popies for a good cause.
	It was every single page.
	There wasn't one normal page.
	And the TV's on in the background.
	That's everyone hugging each other after those three guys got a life sentence.
	I involuntarily went, oh, fuck off when I saw this picture.
	My little cousins are running around.
	Is that it?
	And that's on TV.
	Look at what she's holding.
	It's a little book that a six-year-old wrote called, Just As I Am, Kindness.
	And it's all about how you should be kind.
	Why don't you tell that to the boy that just shoved his brother out the window?
	All right, so we're going through that and we're with some other in-laws, my wife's side of the family, Indian side, came up from Wisconsin and we go to the museum.
	Now, museums have a woke epidemic going on.
	Even the Met here in New York, all of the old displays, the dioramas have, we showed you this in a different show, have like transparencies laid on the glass that say, this is depicting something that has become sort of dated now.
	You'll notice it's only white males in the diorama and the Indians aren't in positions of power and blah, blah, blah.
	I call it vandalism.
	You've just vandalized the diorama.
	That's more of the shows.
	Still, I'm waiting to do a shot.
	I'm not doing a shot here.
	This was all about some Bronx store here in the Bronx that's selling Bronx garbage like hats.
	All right.
	Great.
	How revolutionary.
	My favorite thing about the South Bronx, having a studio in the South Bronx, is it's fucking anarchy.
	It's like Detroit.
	Like you walk anywhere with your dog into any store or restaurant.
	You walk into any gym without a membership.
	You go to the bouncy place with the kids and where you're not allowed to have drinks or shoes on.
	You walk in with a hamburger and your boots on.
	Like no one enforces anything.
	There are no laws.
	Smoke anywhere you want, like anything.
	Okay, so we go to the museum.
	The soldier above all other people prays for peace.
	He must suffer and bear the deepest wounds.
	So this is the science and industry museum.
	And I'm sorry, but in the Midwest, science and industry is primarily white.
	I apologize.
	I'm so sorry.
	But they've got Boeing 747s and German U-boats and submarines.
	And they still managed to crowbar racism into it.
	Look at this one.
	It was funny.
	They show a black guy and a white kid, and they go, the human race, the genomes of any two people in the world are about 99.9% alike.
	So don't be racist.
	But then they accidentally put this one below it.
	Just one extra chromosome causes the health problems associated with most cases of Down syndrome.
	In other words, there's a lot going on in that 0.1%.
	In fact, I believe monkeys in us are about 98% alike.
	So a lot can happen in just one chromosome.
	Oops.
	That kid doesn't look very safe.
	He looks a little freaked out.
	So here's where I lost it.
	I'll look at this in the gift shop.
	Black creativity.
	Everything I saw was about the genome, about space travel, about airplanes, submarines.
	Is black creativity really?
	The whole museum is about white creativity.
	I'm sorry.
	Now, I don't want to make things racial, so I wouldn't want a white creativity shirt there.
	I'd rather we just saw it as American creativity or something like that.
	But like to crowbar blacks into everything?
	So my youngest boy, I think, might still believe in Santa.
	He's eight.
	Obviously, the 13-year-old, the teenagers don't.
	And I said to my, I was bitching about it to my 13-year-old boy because I waited too long to get him red-pilled and I'm worried he's blue-pilled or whatever the other bad pills are.
	And I, so I told him what I'm about to tell you.
	And he goes, I didn't believe in Santa at his age.
	I don't think he does either.
	And I go, who blew it?
	And he goes, YouTube.
	We watch so much YouTube that they blow it up on YouTube.
	They explain that there's no Santa.
	Fuck.
	Yet another shitty thing about these fucking screens.
	It's a spoiler alert of life.
	Yeah.
	But I've always said as a parent, your goals are to delay, I think it's four things.
	You don't want them to know what 9-11 was for as long as possible.
	You don't want them to know what sex is for as long as possible.
	You don't want them to know what race is for as long as possible.
	And you don't want them to know that Santa's fake for as long as possible.
	Those are the four.
	And I did it.
	I told you this, the boy I'm talking about, the 13-year-old, he had a lot of black friends because we lived in Brooklyn.
	And he goes, why do my friends all have black skin?
	He didn't even know the term blacks.
	That means you're successful, by the way.
	So YouTube has allegedly ruined it for them.
	But 25% of my goals with my kid is to prolong Santa as much as possible.
	We all know the origins of Santa, right?
	He's from Norse and German mythology.
	He's like the thunder god, and he's clearly snow-based.
	He's a northern European folklore dude, right?
	He's mythical, yes.
	So is Black Panther.
	So we get in there.
	No warning.
	Around a corner.
	We turn the corner for the pictures, and this is really annoying too.
	No one goes, oh shit.
	Everyone's like, yay, hi, hi, Santa.
	Guess what Ray Santa is?
	He's fucking black.
	Santa's not black.
	I know Megan Kelly got fired for saying as much, but Black Panther's black.
	Santa's white.
	Superman's white.
	So, I get it if you're in the hood and you don't like white people and you've been telling your kid Santa's black all along and you want to continue that bizarre iteration of the lore.
	Fine, you do that.
	I'm not going to argue.
	But we're not in the hood.
	We're at a museum and it's all white kids.
	And their parents have been showing them Santa as a white dude their whole lives.
	So you should at least announce that you're putting a spin on it.
	So now my son is like, okay, and I have to explain to him that's, I just, I said, just said to him, I go, that's not Santa.
	That's a guy dressed up.
	Just so you know.
	I thought it was going to be actually Santa, but it's not.
	They hit the cold.
	And he didn't really react.
	I think kids get to an age where they're like, I don't want to say I don't believe in Santa because it might fuck with the presents.
	So there's a thing going with the whitebeard guy.
	It leads to presents.
	I'm not rocking the boat.
	Maybe they think we believe.
	They don't want to wreck it for us.
	That's hilarious.
	You know, Santa advertises Coca-Cola.
	Black Santa advertises Sprite.
	They should make those ads.
	You're not going to say grape juice or something funny?
	No, they love Sprite.
	Are you kidding?
	I didn't know that.
	Hell yeah.
	Anyway, so my wife's like, oh, come on.
	Are we doing this?
	And I'm like, I'm just so fucking mad.
	I don't mad if you get woke on me, like with the Clarence Clemens thing.
	You're fucking with my music in a way.
	You're fucking with my memories of Bruce Brinkstein.
	But that's, you're attacking me.
	I'm an adult.
	Now your wokeism is leaking into my child's life and my child's innocence.
	And you're fucking with kids, the war on kids.
	So now I'm fucking mad, right?
	So I go, I wait until my wife and her parents leave, because I know this is what upset her, and the kids are gone.
	I say, hold on, I got to go do something.
	So I go back and I go to the information booth, and there's a black woman there.
	And she's just, you know, every black person in Chicago is used to whites going, so sorry, so sorry.
	Hello.
	So I go, hey, I have a Larry David moment.
	I'm like, yeah, couldn't help but notice that Santa is black.
	And she goes, Santa's black.
	And I go, no, Santa's white.
	And she goes, Santa's black.
	I go, look, if you want to play a game where you pretend Santa's black, that's on you.
	But in there, in that room, the tickets we paid for, unbeknownst to us, you changed the lower.
	You changed the story and you made him black.
	So you shouldn't have done that.
	You should have told us at least.
	And she goes, Santa's black.
	That's all she can say.
	Because she's never been confronted or questioned in her life.
	It's always like, hmm, hmm, hmm, you fucked us over and you're lucky I don't slap your ass.
	So I go, Santa's white.
	She goes, Santa's black.
	That's all she can say.
	And I go, is Jesus black?
	And she goes, Jesus is black.
	I go, oh, really?
	Is God black?
	And she goes, uh-huh.
	And now she's getting up from the desk, the little information booth.
	And she calls the guy and she goes, I need someone to come down here right now, right now.
	And then there's some black dude wandering around who works there.
	She's like, you need to come over here.
	You need to come over here.
	What?
	I'm not going to beat you up.
	He now is security and she's standing behind him and she's calling the manager.
	And I'm like, okay, if this blows up and makes it to the press, this is going to be bad.
	But I'm not going anywhere.
	What I'm saying is perfectly reasonable.
	I'm saying Santa's white.
	So this Asian dude shows up and I go, yeah, you didn't tell us that you changed the race of Santa.
	And he goes, well, typical liberal argument.
	Well, he's a fictional character.
	So like the ellipses there mean you're crazy.
	Yeah, it doesn't really matter because he's made up.
	Yeah, he's fictional to you and I because we're adults, but I didn't want him to be fictional to my kids.
	And he goes, well, I mean, if that's the conversation you want to have with your kid, I go, it's not a conversation I want to have with my kid.
	That's the whole point of Santa.
	And Christmas and the presents.
	You don't want to have that conversation for as long as possible.
	Really never.
	I've never had, I never had a moment with my elder kids where I went, okay, can we cut the shit?
	It just sort of fizzled out.
	Sort of like sex.
	I mean, you know, they start having desires.
	You tell them how the machines work, but you don't be like, so you're more of a titman or an ass man now that the cat's out of the bag.
	So then I go, you can't change the lower.
	Just like I would do that, we're living in a society.
	I was focused on the lower.
	It's the lower.
	And I said, what if you had made it a woman?
	What if my kids came in here and it was a woman who was dressed as Santa?
	And you know what he said to that?
	He goes, well, I would have to see that.
	And I go, no, you don't need to see it.
	You can use your imagination.
	You have a vivid imagination.
	Just pretend, pretend in your head that a large-breasted female with lipstick on and a big white beard is Santa.
	Does that make sense?
	And he goes, well, I would have to see that.
	What the fuck?
	Will you shut up?
	And then he goes, and then I go, what am I doing here anyway?
	What are you going to do?
	Apologize?
	Give me my money back?
	Are you going to change it?
	You're going to go talk to the boss and you guys are going to have a long talk.
	You'll do fucking nothing.
	I didn't say fucking, but I said, you'll do nothing.
	And then I just walked away.
	But he was flummox.
	And she was gone for the day.
	Because that's what, so there's two things going on with her.
	One is no one's ever confronted me and I have no idea what to say other than just repeating the same thing again and again.
	And two, any kind of racial, anything, I can use it to take the day off.
	And if you have a problem with that, I'll sue.
	So she was like, good.
	I'm glad that white motherfucker got up in my grill.
	Now I can go home early and say, I need some time to recover from that man who had a problem with you fucking with my kids' childhood.
	And then later on, I thought of what I should have said.
	And maybe you could say this if you find yourself in a bullshit Chicago museum.
	By the way, if you want to get involved, this was the Science and Industry Museum in Chicago.
	But you'll be vilified for questioning it.
	If there was a black character that you made white, oh my God, you'd be a hero.
	You'd get the fucking courage medal, whatever that stupid medal is that they get that Rush Limbaugh got recently.
	But I should have said this: What race is Black Panther?
	Black.
	What race is Superman?
	White?
	Okay.
	What if I brought my kids to meet Black Panther and Superman, but you would switch the races?
	And Superman was black and Black Panther was white.
	I would have to then say to my kids, either, anyone can be Black Panther, or, no, these guys are just dressed up as the superheroes.
	They're not the actual superheroes.
	So in the latter case, well, then why'd you bring me here?
	And in the former case, now I have to rewrite that whole character.
	Now, Superman isn't just the guy who flew here in a fucking egg from Krypton and then developed his powers and then got a cape and all that shit.
	Now I have to rewrite the backstory.
	That's what, and I said, and I didn't say this, this is what I should have said.
	Now take that one of those superheroes, doesn't matter which one, and make their existence an integral part of a child's childhood.
	What do we have now?
	We have a mess on our hands.
	So you've just given me a homework assignment.
	In that example, that metaphor, you've destroyed Superman.
	You wrecked Superman for my kid.
	That would piss me off.
	And Superman's not that important to me.
	What the fuck?
	And that kind of shit with like white people fawning over a Black Santa was all over Chicago.
	Oh, fuck, I was mad.
	And I'm mad at white people for just being like, yes, yes, yes, sir.
	Yes, Massa.
	Is that it for my pics?
	No, there's more pics.
	Let's see the other pics.
	Oh, this was funny.
	So we went to this thing called Wonder, spelled W-N-D-R for some stupid reason.
	And there's Yayoi Kusami.
	She's a mentally ill Japanese aristocrat who made polka dots famous.
	She's just sold a painting, I think, for $7 million.
	She's remarkably successful, but she's racist.
	She marvels at black genitalia.
	She thinks they're wonderful, mythical creatures, like lions.
	She thinks of them as wonderful, exciting beasts.
	She doesn't want to be around them or anything, but she says they're very horny.
	She talks about them like they're silverback gorillas, right?
	And that's got her into trouble.
	No mention of that.
	Everyone they're working is black, so they don't know that, and they clearly don't know who they're working at.
	And then it says that Andy Warhol and Lucas Samaris and Clace, Oldenburg ripped her off.
	A young single Japanese woman was seeing her white male peers rip her off, rip her work, rip off her work only to exhibit it in more established galleries.
	That was her life in the 60s.
	And then the implication, by the way, is that these evil white males gave her mental illness and then she's never recovered.
	Like, I was saying on Getter, there's got to be a market for politically incorrect museums that can tell us about things like the Native American slave trade.
	Not trade, but natives had slaves.
	What else do we got?
	I think that's it.
	We'll just breeze through them quickly.
	This has been, took a lot longer than I thought to shit on Chicago.
	That's her cool art that I guess white males want to...
	This is a white male enjoying her art.
	Seems simple.
	Oh, that was just these cards you put up when you leave.
	And I thought it'd be a fun little look at the average psyche.
	These are all tourists, right?
	Follow your dream.
	Life's too short to care what others think.
	I love my family.
	Beauty can be found anywhere.
	Time heals everything.
	It gets better.
	Be yourself.
	I love your mom.
	What goes around comes around.
	Just be like that sometimes.
	I will be Prime Minister of India.
	Everything will be all right.
	Live life to the fullest.
	You are only as blessed as you know how to.
	This is all fucking idiotic platitudes.
	Go to 1.8, though.
	I thought this was a really interesting, not idiotic platitude from Conor McGregor, of all people.
	Someone had asked him about mental acuity and being stronger as a person, not as a fighter.
	And he goes, what's your opinion on mental health in men struggling?
	He goes, what works for me is I tell my mind how I feel, not the other way around.
	Dominate the space.
	Who runs the show?
	You or your mind?
	You, that's who.
	Let it be known.
	Head up, chest out, arms back.
	Now we billy walking.
	I hope this helps.
	God bless.
	And I thought that really stuck with me.
	That's really profound.
	It's so smart, too.
	You're not your brain's bitch.
	Your brain is your bitch.
	It tells you you're depressed.
	No, I'm not.
	Go fuck yourself.
	It tells you you're scared.
	No, brain.
	We're going to do this.
	You can sit back and relax or you can join me, but I'm going.
	Fucking pussy.
	Get happy.
	Get brave.
	Get fired.
	Don't worry.
	I'm not ending the show.
	So let's finish the picks.
	So that pick's down, whatever.
	People are boring.
	That was just a mannequin at the Nike store, which had no shoes in it, by the way.
	Five floors of Nike and, or is it Nike?
	Nike.
	Five floors of Nike and just like 10 shoes on the top floor for kids, 10 shoes in the bottom floor for men, and then nothing but fucking sweatpants.
	Saw that?
	Can you not go through your shit live on the show?
	Ryan, we've seen all these.
	Don't show me your notes.
	Oh, here's one.
	Oh, that was our hotel at the Four Seasons.
	I didn't know there was a beach in Chicago.
	Do people swim there in the summer?
	That was an argument with my cousin who's MAGA.
	Everything's going great.
	And then he starts talking about Al Gore?
	What?
	And says that he works with hedge funds and their priorities now are: E, S, G. E, is it good for the environment?
	Is it environmentally sound?
	S, is there some sort of social equality backing behind it?
	Is it socially just?
	And then G, is there governance?
	Just meaning is there some kind of boss handling everything?
	Now, I'm all for wanting to invest in something with governance, but S and G, E and S can go fuck themselves.
	And then he said, oh, come on.
	You don't think the old boys club could do with the shaking up?
	Et too, brute?
	And then he was worried that I had ruined our friendship or that this argument had ruined our friendship.
	I was like, dude, outside of pedophilia, I don't care.
	Like, you could be for astrology.
	I'd still hang out with you whenever we meet up.
	And I'd just go, what the fuck are you talking about?
	This astrology bullshit.
	It has nothing to do with our relationship whatsoever.
	But that's modern America.
	You think you have a political argument with someone and you're done.
	He was worried I was mad at him.
	Oh, that's me looking to get into some mischief with a little Hitler mustache, which is actually a scab from falling.
	But I got back up.
	What a cute little guy I am.
	One of my cousins said that he goes, when I started hanging out with you, I met your dad for a beer when he was in Chicago.
	And he asked how we're getting along.
	And you know what he said about you?
	He said, yes, so you've been, you and Gavin have been getting together.
	Yeah.
	He's quite aggressive.
	That's what your dad says about you behind your back.
	Anything else before we fucking move on?
	And we got a, we're running out of time here.
	No, wait, this.
	That's a nice bike I saw at a Maker's Mark display.
	I don't know if you guys like Maker's Mark as much as I do, but can you buy me that bike, please?
	Hint, hint, Christmas.
	Hey, Santa, if you're watching, I want the Maker's Mark bicycle.
	You have to speak of Bonics for Santa to listen to you.
	They do love their booze in Chicago.
	Man, that store was the biggest liquor store I've ever seen.
	It was the size of a Walmart, but all liquor.
	Oh, that's at the Wonder thing.
	It was all like, it was really just for selfies.
	Vanity is the new thing at modern museums.
	It was just people taking pictures with weird backgrounds.
	And then there's this.
	Oh yeah, that was just a cool display thing.
	So speaking of Wokosha, let's just briefly go over that.
	So we had that hilarious meme that sums it all up with the school bus and the train.
	But I mean, if I was talking to a European who didn't know anything about America, I would just show them the...
	How do I pronounce this place?
	Wokisha, Wokosha, Wakisha?
	Look that up.
	Let's get the pronunciation right live on air.
	I would just show them this case.
	And it shows you the double standard, the pandering, relentless pandering, like in the newspaper, on TV, in movies, in the day-to-day way people walk on the streets.
	How does it go?
	It's buoyant.
	I'm ready.
	Waukesha, you know, the reason for the Great Lakes diversion is because we're drawing too much where she works as a certified pure specialist.
	Lexi is also a certified rapper.
	Was very concerned, and Waukesha ended up dropping out.
	Okay, got it.
	Those saddles.
	Waukesha.
	Wisconsin wants to.
	And they reduce.
	Just walking down the street, I sort of felt like this was my face in Chicago for a lot of it.
	I go, you had a fucking problem with me?
	And then my wife takes us to some diner called Ed Something.
	No, not yet, Ryan.
	And it's a diner, a theme diner that's 50s-ish, 50s, 60s, where the staff abuses you.
	Oh, yeah, I heard of that.
	Now, that would not fly in New York City.
	No fucking way.
	I had my Irish up.
	I was like, do you got a fucking problem?
	And my wife's like, calm down.
	That's the thing here.
	On their badge, it says, I'm sassy.
	And the waitress had to say to me, no, it's a thing.
	It's a theme.
	We're rude here.
	And I was like, well, I don't like it.
	Like, we walk in and it's pretty empty.
	And my wife goes, can we have a table for five?
	And she goes, I think I could find you a table for five.
	And then she's like, are you guys ready to order yet?
	Or I'll just sit here and fall asleep.
	And then my little baby boy is like, can I have chicken tenders?
	And she's like, boring.
	That's a child, you fucking bitch.
	And the music is blaring.
	I said to my wife, I'm glad you took me here because I've never had a worse experience in my life.
	And it's interesting.
	Like, you ever have a hangover that's so bad, you're like, wow, I didn't know a human body could experience this much suffering.
	This is cool.
	Are you looking up that place yet?
	I'm like.
	I'd love to get you one.
	What do you want?
	You're like 35.
	The kids' menu is 8 and on.
	That's funny.
	You don't want fun.
	You want a cheap?
	That's cool.
	What are you drinking?
	What are you drinking?
	What are you drinking?
	What are you drinking?
	Your lemonade is going to be this big because you're working with the kids' menu.
	I'm not refilling it for you.
	What do you want?
	What?
	Did anyone throw her through the window?
	Weird.
	Off the regular menu or the baby menu.
	Is this pleasant to anyone?
	Who likes this?
	Whatever.
	You.
	And of course, at all themed restaurants, it's theater geeks, theater school kids, drama club kids who are the worst.
	You want to find Bigotry?
	You're looking for bigotry on this show?
	Theater people, actors, actresses are horrible cunts, pieces of human garbage.
	They should be in concentration camps.
	But below them are high school students in the drama club who do improv.
	I don't like pedophiles.
	What do you want?
	Let's go.
	So they're at the bottom, but just above them is kids into theater.
	Oh, oh, okay.
	No, I want to, I don't want to squit.
	I won't.
	Oh, this is funny because look, I think the basis is like the 50s gum chewing woman with the beehive glasses or the cat, what do you call them?
	The glasses, beehive hairdo, and those Ray-bands, like the kinds I'm wearing now.
	And her like chewing gum, like, all right, what do you want?
	We don't ain't got all day.
	But then if it's not an old white lady and we're not in the 50s, it's just like this black girl using modern sense.
	Just a bitch.
	Yeah.
	Going, I ain't talking to you, motherfucking white piece of shit.
	Nice comeback.
	She ducks at it.
	She's terrible.
	See?
	So you're like, could you, and then I thought, is this like a Chicago thing?
	They're so used to being subservient.
	And everyone's wearing a mask, too.
	I said to one of the guys there, I was like, what the fuck's going on with this compliance?
	And he goes, it's the Midwest, man.
	We're like the dude from the Big Lebowski.
	We get along to get along.
	Is that the saying?
	There's some dude saying.
	I'm not into the Big Lebowski like you guys.
	Okay, that's right.
	This is a different one.
	Wiener Circle?
	What are you doing, Ryan?
	Can you not start a new show, please?
	Same thing, but they're all black.
	I'm just saying.
	Oh, no, I've seen that place.
	I like that place, actually.
	That's different.
	That's authentic, bitches.
	I could get with that.
	But I thought, are Chicagoans so used to getting along to get along or whatever the saying is and being subservient that they actually enjoy it now?
	And they go to a restaurant where they get abused?
	Is this like an SNM city now?
	And it's weird because you think of the archetypal Chicagoan, like in that SNL sketch where they're always going, the bears, the bears.
	It's like, it looks like a dude who doesn't take shit.
	He's got a Mike Ditka mustache, big bears jerseys, fat.
	I saw that archetype everywhere.
	They look like you went to the dictionary under man.
	They're all like dudes, guys, the kinds of guys I'm gay for, actually.
	But then in the behavior, everyone is just kowtowing.
	Now, I'm not saying this is true of the Midwest.
	I think if you get out of the cities, out of Madison and Chicago and Kenosha, you end up with good old rednecks, the American version of an Edgar.
	That's fun.
	But yeah, the city, it's sort of the vibe I got in Philly, too.
	Philly's different, though.
	They both suck.
	They both have wimps in them.
	But Philly is like there was a Camp David negotiation with the homeless and the citizens and the homeless won.
	And the citizens said, okay, sign here and initial here.
	Okay.
	Philly is officially yours.
	Take it away, bums.
	Because not only are they everywhere, but they like run the joint.
	In both cases, the city's dead and handed over.
	Although, wait a minute, wait a minute.
	Chicago is beautiful.
	Spotless.
	Crime-ridden, of course, but no construction.
	New York is just scaffolding everywhere.
	And it's disgusting, and there's bums everywhere.
	Don't get me wrong.
	New York has its faults.
	Chicago is a much prettier city.
	It's the attitude that bothered me.
	What are you doing now?
	Hello?
	A little something.
	A little something?
	Didn't I send you one an assignment recently?
	No.
	Waukesha, right?
	Oh, yeah.
	So let's get to Waukesha before we get to the mailbag or something.
	I was just going to say, I'm from Chicago, too.
	Oh, Tim Poole is on the show.
	It's crazy over there, man.
	You got to see it.
	I mean, lots of homeless.
	But the thing, like you said, you know, no construction.
	So it's like, I've never been in a city before that's like incomplete.
	And so when you go to New York City, you're like, wow, look at that scaffolding, man.
	It's crazy.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	I feel I should elaborate.
	New York is a disgusting shithole that has been handed over not just to the homeless, but to criminals and junkies.
	So it's actually much worse than Chicago.
	Okay.
	It has a slightly tougher attitude and it doesn't take shit.
	That's a better thing than Chicago.
	But if I was going to live in a city with my family, I would prefer to live in Chicago.
	I can guarantee you, though, I would be Larry Daviding on a daily fucking basis and probably be kicked out for daring to question black Santa.
	Fuck you.
	I got this stupid picture of my son with the black Santa.
	And then I go to the other place and the Wonder place and they go, we have a Santa picture session in there.
	And I had to go, is he white?
	And they go, yeah, he's white.
	Like it was a normal thing to say.
	Like, is he left-handed?
	They might have heard it before.
	Yeah.
	Or to them, it's like 50-50.
	Anyway, so fantastic Wokesha meme.
	But go to 1-9.
	They keep saying, no, no, no, he's just a crazy person.
	It's not political.
	Which they did.
	Remember when those black kids tortured that mega kid who was mentally deficient?
	They pulled politics out of that.
	The old white people, knock them the fuck out.
	Waukesha suspect shared social media posts promoting violence towards white people and claiming black people were the true Hebrews, which is the black Hebrew Israelites belief.
	And if you're a black Hebrew Israelite, not only do you think you're the true Hebrew, yeah, those are the guys, but you have zero respect for Jews.
	You don't even see them as a viable religion.
	They're LARPing.
	And they laugh at the Holocaust, too.
	So it's not like they see themselves as the true Hebrews and they respect the other Hebrews.
	No.
	They're like, we're the true Hebrews and you suck shit.
	Math Boy Flya, that was his name.
	Learned ND taught behavior.
	So when we start back knocking white people the fuck out, Ion want to hear it.
	I own.
	That means I don't?
	I don't want to hear it.
	Holy crap.
	Very fanatic.
	I don't want to hear it.
	The old white people too, knock them the fuck out.
	Period.
	Lots of stuff in there.
	Yeah.
	There he is promoting Hitler.
	I mean, can you imagine if the races were reversed?
	They would be rioting in the streets.
	Two little kids are dead.
	And the riots would be justified.
	That's the other crazy part.
	We get riots for losers like Brianna and George and Ahmed.
	Everyone's hugging and crying with joy because those guys are spending their lives in prison or Derek Chauvin gets 20 fucking years.
	He can't get a lawyer, by the way.
	He's trying to appeal.
	No one will represent him.
	We represent mass murderers in this country, cannibals, pedophiles.
	Everyone gets, but not corrupt cops.
	No way.
	And then go to 20.
	I mentioned earlier how they keep saying it's the car.
	Fucking retarded.
	Click on those two pics.
	Here's what we know so far on the sequence of events that led to the Waukesha tragedy caused by a SUV.
	And then the New York Times adds that we lost five adults after an SUV barreled through a Christmas parade on Sunday.
	What was that SUV thinking?
	And then, yeah, I'm just tired of it.
	And you know what I don't like about the pandering is it's racist.
	You're saying that I have to have special rules for these people because they're not the same as me.
	It's funny because us Larry Davids over here are the egalitarians.
	We want everyone treated the same, punished the same for the same crimes, treated the same under the law.
	You should.
	Oh, this was fucking nuts.
	I forgot I sent you this.
	Red van in Detroit today, photographed with white babies holding blocks that spelled dead.
	So they're mocking the white people that were killed in the parade.
	Can you fucking believe that one?
	I mean, that's not just racist.
	That's open, raging contempt.
	ORC.
	All right.
	Running out of time here.
	I think it's time that we get to the mailbag.
	Hit it.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a damn.
	Let's turn the priest together.
	I'm going to read these today because I've left my computer at home.
	The Dirt Ski, original content.
	Dear Gavman and Rai Gay.
	So you'll notice there, Gavman, this like Superman man.
	It's a cool name.
	Rai Gay.
	I mean, Tom Ford is cool.
	There's a lot of cool gays.
	But in this context, he's sort of talking like a grade schooler.
	And in those days, Gabe just meant shitty.
	So it's someone saying you're shitty.
	Now, your only hope is that this guy sucks, and it's good that he thinks you're shitty.
	And that would be bad for me.
	But if this guy's awesome, you're fucked.
	And that would mean that your hair is indicative of who you are as a person.
	Can we get another look at that hairdo?
	No.
	Come on.
	I command you.
	It's for work.
	Our job is to entertain people.
	You have entertaining hair.
	It would be bad for the brand if you didn't amuse us.
	Oh, no.
	Are we losing our dot?
	Let me see the profile.
	Why is it above your eyebrows so much?
	Like, what's with that line of skin above your eyebrows?
	I cut it that way.
	He did or you did?
	I did that.
	You did that part.
	That was your idea.
	What were you thinking?
	Wait, it goes into one eyebrow, but not the other.
	It's because I formed it that way.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	You look like a pencil.
	Oh, my God.
	You look like...
	Coolest pencil you've ever seen.
	You look like a Mongol in some sort of Chinese war where the emperor doesn't really care that you died.
	You were just one of the many millions he used to invade Mongolia.
	No, I had like some skill that he needed.
	And when I left, it was just fodder.
	When I left, they went.
	Send.
	Wait, that's Japanese.
	Yes.
	China.
	Oh, China, long time.
	Send in one million of the shittiest guys just to sort of lay a foundation and get them out of the way.
	Like, send all their pinheads.
	That's not me, though.
	I had a skill.
	I talked to Falcons, and I made the Falcons food.
	You're buzzard food.
	I'm not.
	I had a skill.
	Anyway.
	We do this type of shit a lot recently, but I decided to film it.
	I hope it makes you chuckle.
	Hey, what is this?
	I made clear the subject heading.
	Yeah, that's so.
	The Dirtsky, original content.
	I searched that.
	Okay, but you weren't successful searching that?
	This one here, right?
	No, Ryan, we're in the mailbag.
	Yes.
	Oh, you want me to go search that in the thing?
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	Because links are possible in this.
	What?
	You could link things.
	But I got it.
	Yeah.
	The email I sent you, I don't know why I sent that to you, just to show you roughly where we're going.
	But the way you're going to find these letters is by the subject heading.
	Because I've just got paper here today.
	So you go to the mailbag and you find...
	Okay, so these are the guys who think I'm awesome and you suck.
	Not looking good for old Rye Guy.
	Rye gay.
	Ooh, good balancing there, dude.
	I wonder if you have any power with the steering.
	I don't think so, right?
	So after shitting on Chicago, I just want to make it clear that outside of the cities, the Midwest is fucking awesome, filled with great dudes that drink lots of awesome beer legally at 17 in a bar, you stupid journalists.
	Uh-oh.
	You got it?
	All right, that's awesome.
	This one is entitled, Get Out of My Country, You Monkey.
	Oh.
	That's pretty harsh.
	Let's hope Ryan can find that.
	Hey, Gav, you may have read that subject line and thought, oh shit, the race war is about to start up again.
	However, that is from an exchange from a black man towards an Asian woman.
	Please stop capitalizing blacks.
	That's a stupid rule.
	Why do you think blacks have such a hatred for Asians?
	I think predators in general choose easy prey.
	And if you're mad at someone and you want to do something mean, you choose someone who's not going to punch you in the face.
	So that's why.
	Chinese guy you killed.
	Hey, in everybody's country, though.
	Hey, fucking monkey.
	Monkey ass piece of shit.
	Fucking monkeys.
	You fucking monkey.
	Piece of shit.
	Fucking piece of shit.
	Isn't the black calling the kettle?
	I'm black American.
	I'm hungry than you, you ugly monkey.
	Michael Jordan.
	Kim Kardashian, fucking my race.
	Kanye West, you fucking monkey.
	You a monkey.
	Kim Kardashian's fucking gross.
	I don't get why people think Kim Kardashian's awesome.
	It's a great thing to brag about.
	Kim Kardashian, fucking my race.
	Oh, wait, he's calling somebody a monkey.
	Zoom.
	That's unfortunate.
	Wow.
	Does he have his front-facing camera on?
	I will say this.
	Yeah.
	He doesn't even know she's there.
	He's not talking to you, man.
	He's going through a rough phase of low confidence.
	He's like the Chicago black you ran into.
	I'm not talking to you.
	Talking to me.
	I bet you like beef and broccoli, though.
	I mean, that shit's pretty dope.
	I've noticed that people take pictures of me now.
	They try to trick me by going like this.
	But the camera's pointed up at me.
	I thought that was my trick.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's happened a couple of times.
	I did well, though, with recognition there.
	Maybe it's because I was at like a baseball place, Sluggers, which is a shitty fucking bar.
	Are you taking a picture of me?
	No, I'm taking a picture of me.
	That's what I'm fixing my head.
	I think you're taking a picture of me.
	It's crazy.
	One guy said, hey, I watch the show.
	And I just get his phone and do a selfie.
	Let's just pull the fucking thorn out of the paw as fast as possible.
	And then another guy, I'm walking down the street, and he goes, Gavin, holy shit, I can't believe I'm bumping into you.
	He goes, I got eight kids.
	He got that out of the way.
	I guess he knows that it makes me jealous, so he wanted to flex.
	And he said an interesting question.
	He goes, where are we going?
	Like, what's going to happen?
	And I said, in 2024, I don't think Joe Biden will even run.
	I think they'll have a new P and VP.
	And I think it'll be Ron DeSantis with a VP you've never heard of.
	Just like Kamal Harris, just like Mike Pence, some senator from somewhere.
	Probably a chick, maybe even a chick of color.
	A cock.
	And he said, well, I hope so.
	And then my whole family had gone back to the hotel, and I didn't feel like going to bed.
	We just had a huge meal.
	Fucking amazing steak.
	I can't remember the name of the restaurant.
	Carmine's was where we went the next night and that was amazing spaghetti.
	But anyway, I thought, I feel like going out.
	So I went to some dive bar with an Irish name.
	And I meet that guy in the street, and we're talking for like five minutes.
	So I go, I've just been going in there sitting by myself.
	So I say something.
	I go, do you want to go in and get a beer?
	And he goes, oh, I can't.
	I got to get some.
	And I was like, I don't know.
	I don't even want to.
	I was being trying to do you a favor.
	So anyway, I'm going to go.
	I'm going to go.
	Please keep up the gains, Ryan.
	You no longer look like an 11-year-old boy.
	That's the guy who sent the monkey email.
	Okay.
	Now that's what I'm talking about.
	More Amy Siskin antics.
	Yeah, that's why I'm so happy about the hair because he was looking kind of hunky with these new muscles.
	And now we're back to being able to laugh our heads off.
	I feel plenty hunky.
	I mean, if you look at the numbers, you know, we're getting hunky in ways that, frankly, nobody's ever seen.
	We're going to get tired of hunky.
	More Amy Siskin antics.
	Hunky and Hunky, the name of our new show.
	Gavin and Ryan, I love when you shit on miserable hags like Amy and wanted to help keep that going.
	Here she is trying to get a Twitter account banned that only posts tweets of liberals falling on their face.
	It's a great account.
	Defiant L's?
	Yes, I'm familiar with it.
	It's awesome.
	I reported this account and I encourage everyone who watches this show, all 25,000 of you, to report Amy Siskind.
	Find any reason you possibly can and report her to extinction.
	Because all her entire life, she's unemployed.
	She lives off the ex-husband whose life she destroyed, emptied his bank account.
	She got the house, leveled the house to the ground, and rebuilt a giant $3 million mansion on the same property.
	And now she just lives off his money and uses it for political activism, destroying Trump and anyone who likes him.
	So their tweets are abusive, maybe?
	Is that the best one?
	Being disrespectful or offensive.
	That's a good one.
	Wait, directing hate towards a protected category?
	Yeah.
	That sounds more intense.
	Why do you have to be a protected category?
	That's a strange.
	Yeah.
	Like, what if you're directing hate to billionaires?
	Is that okay?
	You're allowed to hate successful people?
	I guess that's what they're saying.
	They have a list of endangered species.
	And you have to check ones that apply.
	That's a good one.
	We don't care if anti-vaxxers get sick and die.
	Yeah, that's a good one.
	So all of you report that tweet.
	Okay, that's fun.
	Slavery in America, college course.
	Hello, Gavin and Ryan.
	I attend the University of Toledo in Ohio.
	Last year, I took Slavery in America as one of the courses for my history degree.
	The professor is a black American and former local police officer and a female.
	The 1619 project is taught in this class.
	All of the blame is placed on USA and white people.
	If you mention slavery in other cultures, it's always, quote, but it wasn't chattel slavery.
	I hate that word chattel slavery.
	It's slavery.
	Chattel just means the person is owned by you and you can buy and sell them.
	Yeah, slave.
	I think the reason they keep saying chattel slavery is they discovered that most white slaves were indentured servants.
	But they were also chattel slaves.
	It's just that when they put them outside to pick cotton, they would sunburn to death.
	They wouldn't last out there.
	So white people were chattel slaves.
	They just ended up in the house more than the black ones because they died outside in the sun.
	This is cheetah slavery.
	Unlike most African Americans who were freed by the end of the Civil War, your ancestors weren't.
	Take a look at this.
	Chickasaw Nation Freedmen Roll.
	This document is an official enrollment card for the Chickasaw Freedmen, the former slaves owned by the Chickasaw Nation.
	Owned by the Chickasaw Nation.
	Owned by the Chickasaw Nation.
	Your ancestors.
	That's inconvenient.
	Everyone is always disappointed with their background, right?
	We had Taneshi Coates find out that his slave ancestors got tons of money and land.
	Then you had, I think it was Chelsea Handler, find out that her relatives were Nazis.
	Oh, right.
	And then, wasn't it someone else like Anderson Cooper or someone found out that their relatives are plantation owners?
	It was some real activist type.
	And then we had Cheadle find out that his enemies are Indians.
	I've had the privilege of growing up in a tradition that didn't believe in the myths and the legends because we had to bear the brunt of it.
	Never ever gets old.
	So yeah, the chattel slavery argument is about indentured servitude.
	That's only Americans.
	It doesn't apply to all of the white slaves throughout history.
	The word slave comes from Slavs, the Irish slaves.
	The massive amount of abuse that children got during the Industrial Revolution, the child labor, the miners owning their soul to the company store.
	I mean, it was shitty times.
	We should be happy that we're here and we all survived it together.
	And through all of these crazy roots of suffering and the plague and everything, we all made it here where everyone has a giant TV in a fridge.
	Everyone.
	This is especially mentioned regarding the American Indians who held slaves.
	The professor also shared the story of one of her ancestors who was a slave in the 1600s, 1700s.
	This great-grandfather was freed and owned a home and property on the East Coast.
	Oh, that kind of hurts her own argument.
	It's still in the family to this day, but you can't point things like that out.
	Another huge complaint about the USA is about slaves that were held in the Fort Detroit area under the French.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that was another thing, too.
	Like, when you do find all this horrific history, and conservatives are happy to acknowledge that.
	Pat Buchanan says, we did all this and we acknowledge it.
	But wasn't it Britain back then?
	Like, aren't we absolved of everything before 1776?
	This one, the subject is modern feminism in a nutshell.
	Hey, peep pants and no dad.
	So in this, we both are insulted.
	Nobody got off.
	My incontinence gets fried.
	Right.
	This pathetic bumper sticker encapsulates modern feminism perfectly.
	Lonely cat, dog ladies with dried up ovaries.
	Also.
	And then that's a vibrator, right?
	Yes.
	Nice life, you fucking loser.
	Your family sucks, basically.
	You know what your doggy and cat are thinking?
	Your cat's thinking food, territory, territory, kill, food, predator, food, food, predator, hunt, hunt, food.
	And your doggy's thinking loyalty, territory, loyalty, food, food, food, loyalty, loyalty, food, food, food.
	I mean, they have no souls.
	They're not going to heaven.
	I'm sorry.
	Are you a fan of Discharge or Rudimentary Peni?
	Like you're more than a friend, fucking Mahalson.
	I love Discharge.
	I haven't really listened to them in a long time.
	At 51, you can't really, you don't listen to it.
	I don't listen to either band anymore, but there was a time when I was obsessed with Discharge.
	I mean, they kind of invented a new type of music.
	They took punk past hardcore and into this sort of, I think they're really the progenitors of Crust Core.
	And those are the guys you see Antifa dressing like.
	And then Rudament Tripini, of course, was the guy the singer was dying of colon cancer, I believe.
	And he would draw these really painstakingly detailed drawings that were on the cover of the albums.
	They did a whole album dedicated to H.P. Lovecraft.
	Howard Phillips Lovecraft.
	Oh.
	Die fucking die fucking.
	Three quarters of the world are starving.
	The rest are dead.
	That's us, by the way.
	We're dead.
	Because we eat meat, I believe.
	Relationship advice needed.
	Last.
	Should it be the last?
	No?
	Yeah.
	Hello to all the birds, which are the bald eagles, and the babies, which are the monsters.
	I'm in need of some relationship advice.
	I'm a young man about to enter my career, and everything is going well.
	Other than my relationships, blue-haired bisexuals, bitches with door knockers on their noses, alcoholics, women with daddy issues, and insufferable libtards are major stumbling blocks for any young man on the 21st century dating scene.
	There's one girl I met at work who checks off almost every box.
	Politics, religion, common interests, etc.
	However, she is a five.
	Maybe without your glasses, a 5.8.
	Without going into too much detail, there are some nice physical features, some not so nice.
	My question is this.
	Should I just get over the physical element and get in the relationship based almost exclusively on non-physical attraction?
	I will hang up and listen to your response.
	Hang up?
	There's a lot of factors you didn't include here, sir.
	And I don't want to hear five without me seeing her.
	I know you can't show me.
	Maybe you could show me privately and we wouldn't put it on the show.
	But if you've been single for like five years and you can't get anything going, then I would take a five because you probably are a five, right?
	But if you've only been single for like six months and you're a seven, I think you should go for an eight.
	You should always go for one higher than you because they're going to get uglier over time.
	So even if she starts out above you, after like 30 years of marriage, she's going to be uglier than you.
	So I can't answer that question.
	My gut says no.
	I'm guessing if you watch the show, you're relatively young.
	If you live in Toronto, it's almost impossible to find a MAGA chick.
	But if you live anywhere else, they're out there.
	You know one thing I was thinking on your dating app, most people avoid saying MAGA because no one will call them back, especially gays.
	I would say put it there.
	You want to be who you are because you don't want to pander.
	That's the problem with pandering.
	You're being insincere.
	You're being someone you're not.
	You want to be yourself.
	And if that has ramifications like these boring liberal bitches won't fuck you, then so be it.
	You know, get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave.
	And never stop fighting.
	What am I doing?
	I forgot the final video.
	That's right.
	I gotta find it on the floor here.
	Oh, what a mess.
	Sorry, folks.
	That's really.
	What the hell is that?
	Jesus Hook.
	What the hell is that?
	Let's do 3-8, drunk driving through the airport.
	I just got back from the airport.
	I'm sure many of you did too.
	And I was pretty impressed that this guy pulled it off.
	I mean, I could understand maybe battering through one wall, but this guy, if you're late for a flight, folks, I would recommend using this technique.
	It really.
	So that's him outside the airport.
	Snowy day.
	If he's this level of drunk, we're going to assume it's Russia, right?
	Car looks like shit, too.
	So it's pretty hard to get through the first wall.
	One, two.
	There's a police showing up.
	You know, we've shown this before.
	We have?
	On the show, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Absolutely.
	So that's out.
	All of this was ringing a bell.
	It sounded like fucking Notre Dame.
	Ding-dong.
	Wow.
	What a terrible ending to a show.
	Boom.
	Okay, let's do this one.
	So let's start with 4-2.
	Back in 4-2.
	This I thought was really cool.
	I think it might be Russia also.
	But this is kids.
	I guess a shirt was thrown into the crowd, and all three of them grabbed it at once.
	They go, look, we all have rights to this shirt, but we need some sort of way to resolve this outside of fisticuffs.
	And they decide some version of rock, paper, scissors.
	Okay.
	Okay, you're out.
	It's just you and me.
	Scissors?
	And he's like, I gotta get out of here with my loot before anyone changes their mind.
	And then he kisses it.
	And then he wears it.
	And then he hugs it because he loves it.
	Isn't that awesome?
	The only thing I love more than men is boys being men.
	Which reminds me, by the way, the Mets are back.
	We've got two of the best starters in the league.
	Spent a fuckload of money, but I'm feeling optimistic for the first time since the beginning of last season.
	That's how it goes, goes.
	Jets fans will know what we're talking about.
	You guys say just end the season.
	We say must end the season.
	But speaking of football, 4-1, this just warms your heart.
	We'll end on a happy note after I screwed up the ending there.
	Hit me.
	Everyone understood the assignment.
	That's perfect.
	Boom, you catch the ball.
	Okay, give me the ball back.
	Here you go.
	Right, now I got to get the fuck out of here.
	Clear a path.
	Go, go, go, go, go, go.
	Isn't that awesome?
	Wait, there's another kid there, too.
	Maybe he was a decoy?
	This is great.
	That's elaborate.
	See, now the stadium can't let them get away with that, or it'll become the thing.
	Right.
	But they don't want to be a party pooper.
	I mean, sports is nothing without kids' interest, right?
	That's literally the future of the game.
	I wonder what ever happened to him.
	We're going to dig that up for you, folks.
	Let me put that in my notes.
	I'll find out what happened to him.
	I'll tell you tomorrow on Tuesday's show.
	Another normal show.
	No more bank shows, folks.
	We're back in the mix.
	And I'd like to say once again, to get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	I've got the love of a liar.
	We're living in a society.
	We're waiting.
	Jesus Christ.
	You know, the Puerto Ricans, but well, that is a very unfortunate situation.

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