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Nov. 12, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
26:46
GOML LIVE #123 - RYAN'S BACK (Part 1)

Ryan returns to the fray on Veteran's Day and we discuss all things war.

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Time Text
He was just a rocky drop and he surely shook with pride.
He checked on his face.
It's get off my lawn with Kevin McGill.
You ain't gonna jump no more.
Gory, Gory, what a hell of a way tonight.
Glory, Gory, what a hell of a way to die.
Gory, Gory, what a hell of a way tonight.
He ain't gonna jump no more.
Zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom, zoom.
Is everybody happy, quite the sergeant looking up?
Our hero feebly answered yes, and then they stood him off.
He jumped into the icy blast, a static wine and pork.
And he ain't gonna jump no more.
Gory, gory, what a hell of a way tonight.
He ain't gonna jump no more.
Hello folks.
Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.
Here we are.
Oh, I got the wrong fucking thing.
Okay, so here's the proper camera angle.
Once again, we are without Ryan Catsu Rivera.
He is with his baby.
I don't know.
Paternity leave.
Is it a thing?
What's he going to do?
I have nipples, Greg.
Can you milk me?
Should he be really at home with his child?
I think it's the reason I allowed it for one week, unlike Peter Buggadig, who got like, what, two months, is I thought it's a good message to send to the wife, which is it's subliminal.
And it's like, I'm going to be there for you.
I'm not going to abandon you.
I'm around.
But I think we've established that.
And yesterday's show was garbage.
And this show is looking like it's going to suck just as much shit.
We've got Maddie O'Dell here again.
All right, everybody.
Good to see you.
Are you gonna flip me on over here?
Hey, there I am.
What's up, everybody?
Good to be back.
Good to see everybody.
Thanks for all the input on the social media, seeing how I'm doing.
We're both wearing shirts to recognize the well, my shirt's a president's shirt, but your shirt is a fetching shirt.
It's Veterans Day.
Yes.
We should acknowledge that.
11-11.
I don't want to dwell on the fact that when you look up both sides who are there for Pearl Harbor, who are there still alive, none of them are hot.
That's a dumb thing to focus on.
You know, they're in their 90s now.
True.
Yeah, so the fact that they're hot or not is an irrelevant detail, I think.
Yeah.
Right?
Very much so.
But none of them are hot.
Right?
No.
You've got guys in your, you're a big military dude, despite being a miscreant criminal that does the opposite of saving this country.
Right?
I've chose different career paths.
But you have a lot of military in your family.
Yes, yes, I do.
I have a current military.
You know, my father was in the military.
My grandfather was in the military.
I have cousins and brothers that were in the military.
What was your dad doing?
He was in the Navy.
He was an ordinance man on actually the USS Intrepid.
That's a museum in the city now.
Yes.
Yep.
So he was into Scottish chicks for some weird reason.
Yep.
Yeah, he was.
Maybe they're dirty.
With all due respect to your dead mother.
But like, whenever I hung out in Glasgow, I was like, I'm in Harlem.
Yeah.
Like, we are the ends of the W's.
True.
So maybe.
Maybe they were.
Maybe they were hot.
Maybe they were.
It's like the saucy broads.
Like, I remember being a kid on vacation.
I wouldn't call it vacation.
Spending the summers in Glasgow.
And you'd see these Scottish girls with their boyfriends.
I remember being like 12 and liking the 13, the 14-year-olds.
And the way they would sort of like, I don't know, like hang back by the watering hole.
Like, they just had this arrogance that you don't usually see in the white race.
They were feeling themselves.
They're brassy broads.
Anyway, the sponsors.
So I would like to apologize in advance for this show.
Ryan is still not here.
Maddie and I don't know what we're doing, obviously.
Do you even have a light on you, dude?
Yeah, it's on.
Let's get to the sponsors, though.
Flagshirt.com.
Do we have a new sponsor here?
It's Veterans Day.
We are all celebrating our veterans.
Tactical Tim from Tactical Walls, Bubba and Hank, and Sean from BeardVet.
And now our newest team members, theflagshirt.com.
Dude, I think we're at 100% American-made, vet-owned sponsors on this show.
This is a military show.
This is the perfect day to do Veterans Day.
Theflagshirt.com, 100% veteran-owned and operated.
Theflagshirt.com.
Oh, shit, I can't cut to it.
Hold on.
Maddie, talk.
Here we are.
How you making it out in there in the booth?
Tell us why Veterans Day is on your money.
Veterans Day sale.
There you go.
Flagshirt.
Get patriotized.
Nice.
I like that adjective, patriotized.
The flagshirt.com sells the finest America gear, shirts, hats, windbreakers, you name it.
And the guys in flagshirt will make it America style.
Theflagshirt.com is 100% the best Christmas present for your loved ones this season.
Right now, all GOML listeners get 10% off all orders when they go to theflagshirt.com.
Just enter promo code G-O-M-L and you get the discount.
Flagshirt is veteran-owned and they support us, so we support them.
Trump loves these guys and you should too.
They donate time and money to helping veteran families and the mega cause.
So we are proud to add them to our loyal list of sponsors.
Theflagshirt.com, promo code G-O-M-L, 10% off.
Make this Christmas mega mega with theflagshirt.com, promo code GUML.
Thank you, Flagshirt.
We like you more than a friend.
Thank you, everyone at Flagshirt, for your service to this beautiful country.
God bless America.
Just gonna go back over to Ryan's old computer and I don't know, go through there.
What do they sell?
Hold on a sec.
Men's.
So let's give an example.
Can you hear me?
No, I don't I don't think your mics on back check check There you go.
You got me?
You got me?
Yep, I can hear you.
So that's cool.
Look at that shirt.
Look at those shirts.
Those are great shirts.
The bird, which is the bald eagle.
The bird, which is the bald eagle.
Right there.
I went up.
Oh, my God.
okay let's go back um dude you're not gonna believe this So, you know, the bird, which is the bald eagle, right?
Oh, yeah.
I met the duck, which was a cornucopia of stories.
I don't know if I can even finish them.
But I'm watching Ahmed Arbery, which they don't call Ahmed.
He's got some other name in the court case.
But they're like, he was scouting locations before those dudes called the cops.
We saw this guy forever.
He's a scumbag.
He wears just like a winter coat and nothing else.
Shorts and Timberlands.
The guy's like a fucking sociopath.
He's a mentally ill thief.
And they called the cops on him.
But I'm watching the trial at the bar.
And guess who his fucking lawyer is?
Who is he?
It's the eye roll from the bulb, which is the bald eagle.
Oh, my God.
It gets crazier.
He has a bald eagle on his lapel.
A lapel pin.
Yes.
An eagle.
Which is even crazier because we're watching the Rittenhouse trial and the prosecution has Star Wars pins on their lapel.
So it's a thing and a thing and a thing.
It's so meta that I can't show it because we don't have a Ryan here.
Maybe I can try to show it.
I got to be honest.
I shit on Ryan on a daily basis.
I say he's useless.
I don't want him here.
And then we've done a week without him because he made that weird little Buddhist preemie.
And I am having trouble surviving without him.
I'm going to just say that openly.
He's not going to say he's good at his job, but he's definitely better than nothing.
That is true.
Anyway, let me try to find, I want to like text the guy because I couldn't record it.
So I took a picture of the, this, you can already tell this show is going to suck.
Maybe you could send it to Ryan's, the computer on the desk in the control room.
You can get it from there.
Yeah, I'll try texting it to Ryan, and then it won't be him, obviously.
But he might get it.
I wouldn't get your hopes up for this show, folks.
And if you're busy and you didn't feel like watching this show and you don't think it's going to be good, I would recommend just giving up and just being like, oh, well, I'll go to bed early and I'll take the hit.
You have to, I emailed it to Ryan's computer.
I'm going to go over to Ryan's computer and see if I can find the lawyer who was the Bald Eagle guy who's doing Ahmed.
Is it Ahmed Arbery?
I think it's Ahmed Arbury.
Hold on.
Have faith, folks.
What the fuck?
Holy shit.
You're talking about a house of fire.
You're singing it right here.
It's the king of the fangs on me.
Where's Maddie?
He's just showing up for the crowd now.
Holy Jesus Wow.
What is that?
Ladies and gentlemen, Ryan Katsu Rivera in the back of the house.
Thank you very much.
Wow.
Wow.
Proud Papa.
That was amazing and American.
But when you walked in, I couldn't help but notice Maddie was no longer sitting at the bar.
Where did you go?
It wasn't to have a slash.
Oh, you went to go piss.
That was a quick piss.
It was a quick piss.
Welcome back, Ryan.
Thank you.
Welcome back to Veterans Day.
Happy blurry.
Yep, you're blurry.
Happy veterans.
There's a giant space above your right ear.
I don't know why that's open, but whatever.
Welcome.
So, what have you learned from fatherhood?
Oh, it's crazy.
You don't get a lot of sleep on the second night, but the third and fourth night, you get sleep, and it's good.
A lot of breastfeeding and a lot of joyous little moments.
I FaceTimed my dad.
Oh, he said there was a lot of people.
Congratulations.
Yeah.
Did he advise that you skip town within the next week?
So ideally, you want to leave like a little later.
Yeah.
You don't want to establish a connection.
You should probably leave like around now.
You can leave with me if you want.
But then you're close to my kids, so it's kind of weird.
Didn't he call you back after you told him that the baby was born to re-ask when it was born or something?
Yeah, I asked him what the middle name, because May is her middle name, M-E-I, which is Japanese, has Japanese meaning, and it's a very popular name there, but also Chinese.
So I said, what is the Japanese meaning?
He's like, oh, I don't know.
I was like, well, I looked it up.
It says like bright or like light.
And he's like, what do you mean?
I don't like, wait a minute.
I don't know.
Like, I speak English.
If someone asked me what car means, I'd go, it's an automated little house that zips around with four wheels.
Right.
I wouldn't go, oh, I don't know.
It could mean a million things.
I think, you remember how you said Chinese people are learning Chinese their entire language, their entire life?
Yeah.
It's kind of like that, where it's like, it could mean a bunch of different things, but light and bright, and also sounds nice.
See, we're going to name her Daphne Mae, M-A-E, but that means bitter in the Bible, which is no good.
There's something wrong with Zach.
Okay.
Very cute kid.
Thank you.
Very amazing baby.
I was very worried, to be totally frank, when I saw the ultrasounds because of your hideous face.
I was worried about the nose.
But the nose is beautiful.
Well, what God did was, and we discussed this on the show, they shrank it.
Right.
So now it looks normal.
They made it tiny, and then they gave it a little ski jump from your wife.
And things are reasonable.
Let's see if I got it.
Thank God.
Oh, yeah, here's one.
Oh, this is good.
I have a dad tip.
You mean a foreskin?
Well, I don't have a dad tip in that sense, but in the sense that...
All right, dad trick.
You're holding the baby.
You're jiggling.
You want to cut steak?
Hold the baby's head in the crux of your elbow.
Can't we see your build after getting steak at the hospital?
I'm afraid.
It's not going to be good.
And the rest of the body of the child.
You put the fork in the meat.
This is usually a two hand job.
And you chop chop chop.
Sing a little something.
And you can hum with your mouth closed.
I don't even air pod in.
Good question.
And if you sing to them, I'll tell you what, I like the smell of steak.
That's how you eat.
A two-handed meal with a baby.
So I'll tell you why.
Every time we eat, whenever we eat, we watch Sopranos, and the baby was asleep for the beginning part of that.
And then she woke up.
That's our little routine.
Where are you at?
In one of the Sopranos.
Season 6A.
What's happening?
is tony gonna get whacked by his uncle i don't want to no that already passed i I don't want to give anything up, but it's been a dead show for 32 years.
Let's just say something happened with Christopher's love interest.
Drea DeMateo was murdered.
You know, when that show was popular, my wife and I were obsessed and we would see her.
Oh, yeah, that's right, right.
And we would yell, tell Tony!
Tell Tony!
Yeah.
Because our whole thing, and I believe this to this day with the mob, if you get arrested by the FBI, go up to the mob and be like, they want me to wear a wire.
Yeah, what do I do?
So I'm going to wear one.
And then you go.
And then you just tell me bullshit shoplifting shit.
Oh, I don't know of anything.
Like wear right on your forehead in marker, I'm wearing a wire and be like, yo, what's going on?
You guys got any big plans?
And they'd be like, not, we're laying low for a while.
Like, why do you have to, why is it one or the other?
I either snitch and I'm safe or I go to jail.
What about a gray area?
Right, right.
I wear a wire and I tell you, that was Whitey Bulger, right?
And now you start playing the FBI and now you have an in on the FBI and you know what they're looking for.
Maddie's the expert.
Cut to Maddie.
We can cut to Maddie now.
I never cooperated with Warwire, so I couldn't really talk much about how they do it.
Well, this is a revolutionary concept I just invented.
You talk to the guys and you go, hey guys, I'm going to be wearing a wire from now on.
How would that go, Maddie?
How do you think?
Well, I don't know.
There was a guy that I knew in my previous life.
They killed this girl.
She came, they brought him to the clubhouse.
She started disparaging the club and one guy beat her up and they took her out of the desert and they cut her head off.
Whoa.
That's funny.
So there was three of them that were involved in it.
And one guy got guilt tripped.
I guess he couldn't deal with what they did.
And he decided to go to the FBI.
And he said, look, we killed this girl.
And me and this two other people did it.
And we took her out to the desert.
We cut her head off.
Her name was Cynthia Garcia.
And they were like, well, you got to get these guys on tape to admit that, you know, we just can't take your word for it, you know, because maybe you just did it.
So he was like, I don't know how the fuck I'm going to do that and everything.
But wait a minute.
Sorry to interrupt.
But if this guy feels so guilty, how about you just admit it?
You take the blame and you go to jail.
Why do you got to get the other guys involved?
He got five years probation.
Yeah.
Other guys got life.
But they put a camera and a microphone in one of his deathhead pins on his vest.
And, you know, he was trying to get him.
Because you're not going to walk up and say, hey, remember when we cut that fucking girl's head off?
You don't have conversations like that.
I've noticed every time you bring that up, I check all your pins on your shirt.
That was a secret, dude.
Why are you talking about a couple of meetings after that where people weren't allowed to wear their cuts or anything in the room because they were all paranoid?
But so they were like, well, how the fuck.
So the FBI, I guess, or he came up with an idea that I guess they had a hard time cutting her head off because the knives weren't sharp or whatever.
So he was furnished two new knives.
And he, wow, he went out to dinner with these guys and he presented them with the knives and he goes, well, this is, you know, these are really sharp.
Maybe next time it won't be such a hassle to do whatever.
And then they fucking caught him up.
I mean, one guy went on the run.
He just got caught maybe within the last two or three years, but he was on the run for like 20 years.
And they caught him in Argentina.
I just don't get, like, I get that.
So that's a rat.
That's a psycho, probably a meth head, by the way.
He was probably having a bad trip on meth, and he's like, I need to confess.
I don't know.
But if you're Christopher Maltasante and you get caught by the feds, why not just go like to Tony and go, guys, I got to wear a wire now?
I don't know.
What do you want me to do?
Seems like a good idea to me.
Well, they'd probably kill you because now you're a liability.
You'll never know when to be able to feel comfortable around that person.
So they would more than likely kill her anyway, which they did in the show.
But that's TV and make-believe.
Tactical Walls.
Tactical Walls is the number one tactical company in the world.
Right now, my listeners get 20% off all orders when you go to tacticalwalls.com.
Ryan, pull up Tactical Walls.
You're back at work, my friend.
You're rehired.
This is what Tactical Walls makes.
Look at the shit you can put on your wall.
Now, of course, we here at the studio have a bunch of bullshit on our walls.
We are hanging presently motorcycle helmets, trays with masks on them, a couple of jackets.
It's embarrassing.
It's not cool.
Baseball bat.
A couple of baseball bats for intruders.
Just use promo code Gavin.
Make Christmas memorable for your loved ones with Tactical Walls.
Thanks, Tactical Tim.
Who you've met?
He's been here.
There is his.
Now, don't get discouraged by the way Ryan the retard has portrayed his tactical wall.
He has folded t-shirts.
The only thing fun and interesting about his wall is my shit, like my please be a fart statue that my wife gave me for our birthday.
Our birthday, we're identical twins.
Thanks, Tactical Tim, for your service to this beautiful country here on Veterans Day.
We'd like to thank Tommy the Ranger for his fantastic service in Afghanistan.
You can check him out on the free speech show.
God bless you and your family and everyone at Tactical Walls.
Thanks for sticking with us.
We love you guys.
Thank you for supporting Censored.tv, Two Tactical Walls and Tactical Tim.
We're about to go behind the paywall.
So you guys that have been missing Ryan, you freeloaders, you cannot have him anymore.
We're taking him away from you.
What do you think of that?
I think that's fair.
I won't even say another word.
They don't deserve it.
Frankly, they don't deserve it.
So to sum up everything, Veterans Day, we had the, what was that called?
The paratroopers.
Oh, Blood on the Risers.
Blood on the Risers.
I love that song because it's vets recognizing that I'm not falling for your bullshit.
I'm happy to be here.
I'm happy to fight for my country.
But I know when you talk about glory, glory, that it's very possible that I get tangled up in my parachute and I die.
So I'm going to make up my own song.
I think Blood on the Risers was a reinterpretation of an initial song that was about them being heroes.
And they said, yes, we're heroes, but we also recognize that we could get tangled up and turn into pulp.
So we'll be singing our version of your song, asshole.
I like that kind of stuff.
I like fuck the police's boss.
Fuck the top brass.
Because if there's one thing we've learned with law enforcement and the military in 2021 is they don't support the troops.
They don't support the grunts, the privates, the cops, the firemen.
The top brass, the aristocrats who run all of these agencies will not hesitate to throw their boys under the bus.
Murder them, let them die, lose their pensions.
They're fucking scumbags and they're part of the elite.
The captains, the lieutenants, all the fancy guys with the epaulets, they are the same as the left.
They're the same as the liberals.
They're cunts.
Fuck them.
You can support the military without supporting the military top brass.
I don't like the top brass.
I don't think you should either.
No one does.
Anyway, so we're going to go behind the paywall now.
And I'm going to say, we're going to take a bunch of calls, answer a bunch of viewer mail, talk to Maddie, celebrate Veterans Day.
But before we do that, I'd like to say the freeloaders, subscribe to censor.tv, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
He ain't gonna jump no more!
He counted long, he counted loud, he waited for the shock!
He felt the wind, he felt the cold, he felt the awful drop.
The silk from his reserves filled out and wrapped around his legs.
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