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Nov. 12, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
30:24
GOML LIVE #121 - A SHORT SHOW (Part 1)
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Time Text
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Devin McGinnis.
I'll have that news, baby, all about your disease.
Yeah, you may have all you want, baby, but I got something you need.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
My love is right to the core.
Yeah, I told you my love.
Just like I've told you before.
Yeah, before, you know you're simple.
Now you know this is one of the oldest symbols.
Whoa.
Ryan is on it.
Damn.
Bam!
You see that?
I tried to fake him out with the pause and he fucking nailed it.
Nailed it.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.
We have Matty O'Dell!
Matty O'Dell on the side speakers over here of course we have Ryan Katsu Rivera who by the way we we Matty and I got here early and Ryan did not sit with us.
That's correct.
Well, my only reason for that is because look at this cool new frame that we have.
Pre-roll Tactical Walls!
Tactical Walls!
This episode is brought to you by Tactical Walls.
It's veteran owned.
Go to...
www.tacticalwalls.com for the best products in America.
Tactical Walls promo code Gavin.
20% off all orders.
I don't know why we're not watching Tactical Walls behind me.
It is tacticalwalls.com.
Go there, talk to the owner, Tactical Tim.
He's available.
20% off all orders.
Ryan, why not bring up a Tactical Wall behind us?
Here it comes.
Here it comes.
Four minutes late.
It's still waiting.
This is shocking, dude.
There we go.
What?
Dude, what happened?
Why'd that take you an entire commercial?
There's a long reason for it.
Okay, let's hear it.
So, see this cool new frame?
Sort of.
Now when I do this, it switches to Matty.
And now it switches the frame back.
So I have to figure out a way how to keep this cool frame.
Wait, what's a frame?
What do you mean cool frame?
See this frame?
What do you mean this frame?
Look at the frame around the thing.
Oh, that sort of like weird fade?
Yeah, this is the autumn frame.
Okay.
I spent a lot of time on that.
Okay, total waste of time.
No one cares.
But again, go nuts.
So your stupid autumn frame.
Yes.
We can't see our sponsors promote their products.
It's a seasonal frame and I apologize to our sponsors and to make up for it.
Here we go.
Here's a lower third.
Okay.
You suck.
Um, so yeah, Matty, how you been?
I went golfing with our friends at our local today.
I was golfing all day.
Yep.
It went well.
We all suck shit.
We actually ran out of balls.
We had 30 balls.
They're all gone.
So Joel went to the clubhouse in the ninth hole and he spent $60 on 12 balls.
And they lasted the next... We barely made it to the 18th hole.
So that's $5 a ball, basically.
Toast.
It was unbelievable.
Probably cost more than a round of golf.
What a car wreck.
We're assholes.
Cheers.
Cheers.
Are you sad about it?
Scottish, of course he's sad.
It doesn't feel good when you suck at something.
The rest of the day kind of stinks.
No, I don't feel that way.
I think that if you suck and you play golf and you're with really good players, it's humility.
But if they also suck...
If you're the best and you suck?
Yeah.
It's sort of like a kid crying on a plane.
If a kid cries on the plane, you're like, thank God that's not my kid.
I'm good.
Now I will say, I was actually thinking about this today as we play golf.
Um, I do get really mad when kids cry in church.
Get them out of there.
That's, it's not working.
They're not listening.
They're a baby.
Get them out of here.
But the thing about a church and a plane is you can't leave a plane, you die.
Right.
You fall to your death.
So we're all together on the plane.
So let's go, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Let's try to calm the baby down.
Get him out of here!
Get out!
That's exactly how I feel.
I've actually heard of old school Brooklyn churches where the priest yells at the kid.
What are we doing here?
Why is this kid screaming her head off?
What's going on over here?
That sounds great.
Never experienced it.
Did you go to church as a kid?
Yeah.
I went to CCD, religiously confirmed.
Was baptized.
Did my first Holy Communion.
Did a confirmation.
Did you go to church every day as a kid?
No, not every day.
Every Sunday.
Every Sunday.
9 o'clock Mass, yeah.
Blessed Sacrament.
Blessed Sacrament.
Why did your mother, out of all the places in the world, choose New Rochelle?
That's where the family who sponsored her for her green card came.
That's where they lived.
Oh, she was an au pair?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She came over as an au pair.
At what age?
16.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
She's probably hot.
She finished, like back then, high school, like in 10th grade, 16 or something.
She's probably a sexy teen.
So she signed off and she went to work for the Lance family.
They owned a big company called Defender Marine Supplies.
I met an old dude at the Legion in the local township and he said your mother had very salty language.
My oof, yes.
Like a truck driver.
That pisses me off.
That makes me think less of you, Maddie.
Oh.
That your mother swore.
She was a strict disciplinarian.
I tend not to fraternize with men whose mothers swore.
That's true.
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Retard, you don't have to open it.
Just bring me the box.
Stop.
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What do we got here?
We have... The coffee!
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Look at this shit.
One, two, three levels of excellence.
Then we have some sort of pouch thing.
If this was a bomb, by the way, this would be a great way to die.
Uh...
Look at that.
It's a beard brush.
Beard brush.
Beard grooming materials.
There seems to be some sort of beard oil.
Tobacco and patch.
Shouldn't we just send everyone into the military?
Look at when they come out, they're so disciplined.
And we're going to do for them an awesome commercial song.
I was expecting rock and roll.
I was going to be like, fucking beard vet coffee, you can put it on your face, you can put it in your cup and drink it too.
Wait, what?
I was going to say, you were guessing that a magical song would just appear?
Yeah.
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Hey now.
All right, we have 15 minutes left before we go behind the paywall.
My computer's, I guess, in the other room.
Ryan, why don't you explain to Matty everything you hate about him, and why?
Okay, well, first of all, Matty, I have no hatred towards you.
Okay.
That's about that.
Get it out in the open.
I don't have any harsh feelings towards the man at all.
Delve deep.
There's no deepness to the way I feel about you.
It's very nice to know you.
It's pleasant.
Always full of laughs.
You helped me out with Taco Bell the other day.
Hey, for whom the Taco Bell tolls.
There is an update with that.
So a friend of the show did something very nice.
Okay.
And they set up a GoFundMe for my tacos.
Nice!
Brian Bailey.
Great guy.
And here it is.
And I think it's going to beat the Joe Car Fund.
The Joe Car Fund is up to $400.
Whoa!
Is it?
This is up to $145 for my tacos.
Wait a minute.
He's got 100.
Joe's car is 400?
Yep.
Holy shit.
350, about that.
I can't believe that.
It's ridiculous.
Holy shit!
So just to be clear, folks at home who are not understanding what happened here, we discovered last week, 24 hours times 7 ago, that Ryan's not allowed to go to Taco Bell.
His wife does not let him go there.
That's not true.
So he tried to surreptitiously circumvent $10 from Matty O'Dell, wherein he would use that money to go and get a burrito box.
Which is five dollars.
Right.
We made fun of him.
He absolved himself of that situation, but he did not.
And he skulked away to Taco Bell in the South Bronx, several blocks away.
And then, coincidentally, Matty O'Dell was in the same vicinity because I guess he wanted, I don't know, what did you want?
A Chalupa?
I just wanted to go see Ryan.
You did?
So he goes into the parking lot in the South Bronx and he sees Ryan scarfing his face and uh... They call me Scarface.
He goes, what are you doing dude?
And he's like... Hello, I would like to clear my name.
I never told Ryan he can't have fast food.
I told him don't spend money on dumb shit.
I'm pretty sure food does not qualify.
I was talking about not buying more ugly pullovers.
Wait, that's a very British term, isn't it?
Entrainers.
And impulse buying from Instagram ads.
I never said no Taco Bell, and I have no clue where he got that idea from.
That is all from Ryan's wife.
Okay, this lying woman.
This is actually more embarrassing, dude.
No, she's a liar.
I should have never read that.
Okay, let's do both, because they're all equally embarrassing.
So, did she or did she not tell you, you can't eat at Taco Bell?
She said, if we have food at home, I was like, it's a couple bucks.
And she says, this has happened in the past for sure.
She's been like, we have food at home, don't waste money.
I'm like, it's fucking $2.
So that was a conversation that has been had in the past for sure.
Maybe it was a couple weeks ago, maybe she feels that we're high on the hog now, but I knew that it would cause issues.
Call me old-fashioned but eating goes by times.
Like if I was with my wife and I went by Taco Bell I go I want to get something and she go well it's 4 p.m.
we're eating at 530 don't do that but if it was like 1150 a.m.
And I went, I want to go get something in the Taco Bell drive-thru.
She go, well, we're not having dinner until 6 p.m.
I don't give a fuck.
You couldn't eat out of fucking homeless prostitute.
Why would I care what you eat?
Why would she give you permission to do that?
That's gross.
I eat five times a day or try to.
So take what I just said and As a vessel and tell me what you violated of the vessel in your past.
In the past I think we were a little tight on cash and maybe I was thinking of those times and that factored into deciding to talk about it.
I didn't say that.
I said tell me about a scenario wherein you violated your wife's trust by eating something.
Okay, for instance, the other day, right?
We have dinner, made, but I want some sides because we're having leftovers.
Wait, wait, wait.
What, what, what are we talking about?
The other night we were having leftovers.
No, it's got to be before this incident.
This was after the incident, which is worse.
Showing that this is not some old thing.
This is still new shit.
So, we have leftovers and I say I want to spice it up to let's get some greens or something.
I'll go to Popeye's and we'll get like a side from Popeye's.
Wait, you'll go to Popeye's exclusively for sides?
For a side.
I thought they had collard greens or something fun.
Like we need some greens.
Otherwise I have to drink my green shake.
So wait, now you're going to Popeye's just for sides?
Just to spice up the leftovers.
Because there's nothing fun about leftovers.
You can't go to a place and just get sides.
Sides are literally named after the word sides.
But we had a main.
What was your main?
It might have been...
Pesto?
No, that was last night.
It was something chicken-y.
Yeah.
Okay, so my point is that Popeyes created sides to go with your main course.
You don't go to Popeyes for sides.
It's pretty close by.
And so I wound up getting Rao's soup from the supermarket instead.
Oh, you know what it was?
It was, um, uh, uh, it was latkes.
I made little latkes, potato pancakes.
And then the main was, I forgot, actually.
- You imagine, oh, okay. - Right now, I feel like if I killed you. - I was waiting to hear this thing, I'm like, okay, latkes and, I forgot. - I feel like if I shot you, no judge in the county would persecute me.
I don't think that's true.
I think I could murder you and be above the law.
I don't think that's true at all.
And what kind of rayo soup did you get?
Minestrone.
Oh.
No pasta faggio?
It's like strone but smaller.
That's not funny.
Okay.
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Actually, 50% off.
What?
Yeah, we went down.
What?
I decided 20% off was too much.
Damn.
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He's not doing well.
So, um, why don't you support this show and our sponsors and one of our sponsors who's dying of cancer.
Who's going to survive of cancer?
Stick in there, bub.
Stay strong.
Let's show our love and support to those who support us.
That is BubbaAndHanks.com promo code Gavin.
Alright, so, um, I'd like to get a couple of letters in before we go behind the paywall.
Let's, um, do the fuckin', um, Mailbag song.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
Okay.
You ready?
Yes.
Gavin being shit-faced.
That's mean.
It's like, no.
Life's hard.
Please clean up, Gavin, or you'll end up in a bloody coma like me in Bulgaria.
It's like, no.
Life's hard.
Please clean up, Gavin, or you'll end up in a bloody coma.
Wait, we have Jordan Peterson on the line.
Jordan Peterson is in the studio.
That's right.
Jordan, are you there?
Yep.
Can I see you?
I'm trying to get Ryan to figure out the damn video.
The bloody video?
But he's not... You know what I think?
I think that Jordan Peterson stole Clean Your Room from me.
How do you mean?
And I stole it from a dude named Kennedy who has a self-help book that I worked on with him.
I edited it.
Yeah, I think Jordan Peterson stole Clean Your Room from me.
You stole Clean Your Room from me.
I'm sorry.
Where are you?
I don't have him on the ready.
Okay.
Did you guys start late tonight or am I a wheat wad?
Anyway, I'm a coffee slut.
I just ordered a Beard Vet Excellence whole bean coffee from Amazon.
Whatever.
You rock.
That's a nice guy.
There you go.
There we go, that's what we're going for.
Dear Retard and Ryan, not sure if you guys are aware, but the dyke lady with the cigar in one of the drops, I mean the dab, was not only Affirmative Action hire, but literally took the place of the man in the original movie.
Yes, I'm sick of people telling us about shit that we've mentioned on the show.
Yes, the douchebag, what's his name, Elijah Malabad, was replaced by Tig Notaro in this movie, Army of the Dead.
Holy shit.
And he was in trouble for wanting to fuck teenagers, which is horrible, by the way, horrible.
But we hate him because he has a whole diatribe about how white some dude was at the gym.
Some big white guy.
Apparently they shot the entire movie with Chris D'Elia, but soon after he was accused of this text message shit, so they removed him entirely from the movie and put the dyke bitch in charge.
Yeah, we know, dude.
I demand you watch the first two minutes of this on your show.
Watch the whole thing, especially after nine minutes.
His rap is so funny.
I bet it sucks.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Yes.
You know, it's weird.
I got that letter twice with different emails.
Huh.
I was hooking up with this chick.
One day she was on the phone with her family in Jamaica and she was really in the middle of a heated conversation.
I really had no idea what the fuck she was saying.
And her friend said, I'm like, wow.
Wow.
So wait, break that down.
So she, and so then I just started, she started breaking down a lot of shit.
I'm like, how do you say this?
How do you say that?
Oh, like seven.
Oh, She was just telling me how to say different shit so I got for like a week like I was really on a Jamaican tip and that just happened to be the week of the Golden Globes.
- - Coming straight from the Golden Globes. - Totally viral. - Yeah, that's Chet.
You guys.
I am shook, and frankly, hella confused.
Isn't it funny that she's mad at him for appropriating black culture, and then she says hella confused?
Yeah.
I had Jamaicans blowing up my Instagram.
Respect General!
Come to the island!
You know what I mean?
The Jamaican people showed me... Yeah, yeah, we know, we know, we know.
Ancient news, dude.
Thanks for telling us about Chad Atkins, um, being interviewed by that random dude from, uh, Channel 5.
Um... This was, uh, this is a production from this dude.
Uh, you have his shirt.
I know, we don't like him anymore, man.
Oh, yeah.
He's a sellout.
What was that?
It's a shot glass.
It broke.
Yeah.
How do you not know that this guy's with the dark side?
I didn't know he was with the dark side.
Dude, Tim Heidecker bought, uh, whatever that original thing was called.
Oh, yeah.
You didn't know that?
Pedal to the metal or something?
Yeah.
Well, now I know.
How'd you not know that?
Because I'm indifferent towards our enemies.
You're not.
You fucking have to know who they are!
You have to know our enemies!
Oops.
You have to know what they do!
You have to know what they're about!
I caught that one, but you've knocked over some things.
How do you not know about our fucking enemies?
I cannot know about Tim Heidecker and fucking Vic Berger.
God damn it.
So anyway, Channel 5 is dead.
Sorry.
Channel 5 is dead to us.
Here's a letter from a guy named Aaron.
Pulp Fiction.
Face Swap.
I got a kick out of this and thought you guys might like it as well.
I don't like it.
It's boring and stupid.
I was disappointed to see how old I looked.
Um, this is from 5.46pm, Ryan?
There you go.
I'm black.
What do you think of yourself as a black?
That doesn't look too different.
Which is upsetting.
Except for the jerry curls.
The jerry curls, yes.
I look so old.
You know, you look an old man.
It's from Dakota.
What's up Gavin Rye guy?
You guys got to check out this trailer as soon as I saw it.
It reminded me of one of Brian Stetler's wife's pussy.
Good for a laugh.
Okay, let's see this trailer.
Candy ass.
That sounds familiar.
We may have actually covered this on the show.
Do you like my shirt?
When Trump does follow through, or doesn't do follow through, or the exact opposite.
Joe Biden.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
.
Uh oh.
I gotta piss.
Rumor has it, if you say his name in a mirror five times, he appears.
Yeah, you say his name five times in the mirror, he comes out and kills you.
One, two, three, four, four.
Candy ass.
I...
Wait, hold on a second.
Aren't you just that fat balding guy on CNN?
Yes, it is I, heterosexual news anchor Brian Stelzer.
Who can take an agenda, cover it in news, sprinkle it with lies and some misinformation to the candy ass.
The candy ass can.
Oh god, no.
I like girls.
Some believed it was just a fairy tale.
But they were wrong.
Candy ass.
What's so ooh about it?
You're next, twinkle toes.
No one is safe.
Candy ass.
Ooh, this one's for you.
Oh.
I don't come for girls.
Only women are safe.
You don't have a brother, do you?
Candy ass.
Coming soon.
Unless you're female.
Absolute shocking garbage.
message.
Yeah.
You could see the wrinkle of his fucking bathing cap.
Next email, Ryan needs to work on his Brian Stelter.
And someone sent a picture of Island Boy calls Spectrum Customer Service.
Which for some reason Ryan's taking an hour to pull up.
I've already watched it and closed it.
Thank you for calling Spectrum Customer Service.
How can I help you?
I'm an island boy.
I'm sorry, sir.
I cannot understand you.
Can you repeat that, please?
Is this a problem with your phone or internet?
I'm very sorry, sir.
I cannot understand a word.
Try unplugging the motor.
Thank you for calling Spectrum Customer Service.
Sprinkles, they ask.
Personally I say no.
No.
No sprinkles.
Okay folks we're going behind the paywall now.
We are going to take calls and enjoy ourselves with our community who pays their bills.
Unlike you!
Who are watching the show for free.
I highly recommend you spend $10 a month watching censored.tv.
It takes up more time than you have to dispose looking at this clown world and it's an angle on clown world that is funny and irreverent and Where you feel it's it's basically you watching the news with yourself because that's how we feel about this shit.
We're normal human beings who think that we are living in a clown world and everything is upside down.
So when you watch us watch the news you go oh good thank god I'm not insane.
So yeah, we're going to take some calls and talk about what I just discussed.
But for you cheapskates who don't subscribe to Censor.TV, you cannot indulge in these calls.
So get fired, get in trouble, be brave and never stop fighting.
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