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Nov. 1, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:35:02
S04E49 - SPIDERS AND SNAKES
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Time Text
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McGinnis.
It's your favorite Republican hoots.
It's your fellow with a neck or shoes.
Two chains, two birds, and we know what's good.
Guess who's back to abuse every solvent that I choose?
Two booze and a pint that's out.
I never do man.
Never smells like troubled rock.
Hi, welcome back to Get Off My Lawn on censored.tv.
It's a show where we go through daily events, news, music, pop culture, and try to give our take on Clown World.
And we try to keep it amusing because we're the happy warriors, right, Ryan?
Don't forget, we also inject a good amount of comedy and not just flippant comedy, callback jokes, inside jokes, and topical ones as well.
Oh, I love topical jokes.
And I'm glad you brought that up, Ryan, because I forgot that Ryan does a lot of impressions and he can CGI faces on him.
So I think it's misleading to call it a news show.
It's really entertainment and comedy, more of a radio show with a video component.
Do you agree?
And being good at it, if you will.
That is one of my face swap technologies.
We use this to clown on some of the people that you might see in the news, papers, magazines.
What are in the newspapers, magazines?
Oh, like when a magazine comes with a newspaper, like the New York Times magazine on Sundays.
And don't forget our references via videos that we've stumbled across or seen or even people have submitted them through the mailbag.
My son's on the cover of a magazine.
Just like that one.
There's a lot of things that are included in this show.
It's a free-for-all.
There is a lot.
I would say...
$40 or $45.
At least that many.
And more to come.
Today, Ryan came to my boxing gym and he worked out with me this morning.
And Larry Barnes trained him.
Larry's contention is that there is no future for Ryan in boxing.
He doesn't have it.
That's actually not true, Gavin.
While he was teaching me some of the things to do with my fist, you came up behind and you said, he doesn't got it.
Why don't we quit?
Oh, I love jokes like that.
That's a joke that I did.
That's true.
But not only that, but Larry chased you away and he said, no, no, no.
And he was very supportive of me.
You, on the other hand, kept making those jokes.
I love to joke around.
It's my favorite thing to do.
But now imagine if Larry had gone with the joke and he agreed and he said, you're right, this kid stinks.
I would have felt probably like crap.
Oh, yes.
That's called Yes And in the world of improv and it would further the joke.
But Larry, he's not very ambitious when it comes to comedy and he really just does two jokes.
One, I'm a cupcake.
And I started to get serious there and lose the guy.
I'm bored of that.
And being good at it, if you will.
That was kneecap we opened the thing with.
The song was Brits out.
They're sort of Northern Irish nationalists, which sounds fun.
Until they start talking about Palestine.
What is it with British people and Palestine?
Just mind your own beeswax.
They're like, well, the fucking Brits, they took over Northern Ireland the same way the Israelis took over Palestine.
And we support Palestine.
No, no, no, no, no.
You know how many Palestinians were pushed out when they formed Israel?
It was like 2,000.
And all the Jews were pushed out of their various Arab countries to the tune of about 2,000.
Boring.
Did you like boxing, Ryan?
Oops.
Yeah.
It's not easy.
My arms got tired pretty quick because I flew there.
But on a real note, it's a lot of stamina.
On a real note.
You mean, but seriously, folks.
But seriously, folks.
So you liked it?
Yeah.
I just, I can't get the whole, you step first and then you jab?
Yeah, it's really, it's tricky, but it's the only way a jab, like your left hand is so weak that if you don't step, it doesn't have any gumption.
Yep.
And people, I don't understand this.
Connor McGregor does this, but some people, like, they'll knock out guys with their, with their jab.
My jab, you would, if I punched your newborn baby with my jab, you'd go, will you stop?
You would not be mad.
So when you step, you give it extra, but I'll even step without stepping forward.
So if it's a bunch of jabs, I'm like dancing on my little toe just to sort of remind myself.
Yeah.
I mean, I have no problem with the pivot with the right because it reminds me of golf.
It seems natural.
Yeah.
So I didn't need a reminder for that.
It's only when you're doing fast combos that I'm like, oh, I'm forgetting to pivot.
I'm forgetting to step.
Yeah.
And I'm just standing still.
Well, and also it just comes naturally because with the right, it's your favorite hand.
You get the hip in there.
This is a cinch.
I had to, when I got vaccinated today, I had to use my less dominant hand, my less dominant arm.
What?
Oh, yeah.
I got fully vaccinated.
Oh, I'm glad to hear it.
Did you understand that the fuck?
It's not easy to be a robot.
Imagine how hard it is for him to be a human.
Well, let's go to the clip that we've been obsessing on and talking like for several days now.
Let me clarify.
Vaccination is for T-DAP, tetanus, acupuncture, and dilly squat or something.
Was it also for having your background more focused than your face?
Because it didn't work.
It takes time to kick in.
Okay.
Remember that?
I think flu shots only last for three weeks.
Remember that?
Ah, that sucks.
Why even get it?
Yeah.
Which number is it?
1-4?
Oh.
The old 1-4?
Oh, you ruin it when you show the title and everything, dude.
Just bang to the video.
There we go.
Okay, s just one one thing I gotta say about Mark.
I know famous people they like to have they know their own body is a brand I guess I have it with these glasses and the mustache or whatever But uh why did you choose that look as your brand?
Like your fucking hair is the worst hair in America You know what I mean?
It's the greatest hair in Legoland.
It's so fucking bad Just I don't know like a shaved head would be better Why does he do that?
There's not a worse hairdo you can have in fact in Star Trek they use it on that data guy because it looks so robot robot-like.
I was gonna say robotic, but that's not what I mean.
I mean robot-like.
Okay, go ahead.
I love Arizona Sunshine.
Is she doing the thing that people do when they talk to immigrants, which is like you empathize for them, so you're like, yeah, I have to go there too.
Like you talk a little bit like them.
I guarantee you, Zuckerberg spent $100,000 on an expert.
He's a public speaking expert.
And his whole thing is you have to use your hands.
Hands are very expressive.
They're the most expressive part of your body.
If you talk to photographers, they'll tell you whenever you're cropping a photo to either like do here or if you're going to show the waist, make sure you include the hands.
You never crop hands.
Hands are very expressive.
So he did a whole, he did like a five-hour thing with that.
And then he did individual three-hour sit-downs with all of his top brass.
And they came out acting like total fucking lunatics.
No one does this.
That game basically got me and my friends through the first few months of the pandemic.
That's awesome.
If you enjoyed that part, I think you'll be excited that we're partnering with you.
She's making fun of them.
She does guns too.
Whoa, watch.
Don't sweep me with that barrel.
Sorry, I'm late.
My motorcycle wasn't starting.
Nice.
What else is coming?
Oh, my God.
Director, cut, stop.
Like, why did this continue?
Doesn't anyone there have eyes?
I guess the director's like, would you stop that with your hands?
And Mark goes, we just spent $100,000 on the hands.
You want to throw them away?
Is there one person?
They're literally blurry when you freeze.
Metaverse is constantly evolving.
So one of the most important aspects will be live service games that launch updates and new downloadable content regularly.
So many Italians watching this, like, stop yelling at us.
Yeah, yeah.
But even Italians, like, they keep it in the center of their body.
Yeah, it's not that much.
Like Echo VR, Beatsaber, Onward, Pistol Whip, and more.
We're focused on this a lot.
Oh, they have cue cards behind them, too.
Making sure games can build out active communities.
Beat Saber has a lot of people.
What is his head doing while she's talking?
He's like swimming and waiting.
It's like when you see someone on SNL who's like a sports star and they've never been on TV before.
And you can see them reading the other person's cue cards because they're nervous about their cue coming up.
Here's my.
Okay, she's almost done talking about it.
Like his mouth is like moving like he's speaking.
Oh, really?
Look.
Looks like he's chewing or speaking.
He's not saying anything.
Nailed out.
Active communities.
Beat Saver has a passionate community.
Oh, I love Beatsaber.
You know when you're watching a video of yourself, like, and you're doing something and you're like talking along to it?
You're like, you kind of like mouth it.
You know what it is?
Maybe he's reading her lines.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's so shitty at this that he's reading her lines.
She's in blue and he's in red.
So he's reading the blue things, which she finds incredibly distracting.
But she manages to plow forward because Mark, her boss, said it was the only way they could do this.
Anyway.
You know what's funny?
What, Ryan?
Well, they're adopting a version of Grand Theft Auto San Andreas, which is one of the greatest franchise titles of that franchise title.
And that game, in Rockstar, they had a fake Facebook thing and they had you execute the fake Mark Zuckerberg.
Oh, he's doing a speech and he's on the phone and then his head explodes.
And then your characters kill...
It's called Life Invader, but it's got the symbol that looks like Facebook and stuff.
So in Rockstar's game, they killed him.
And he was talking about how he steals your data and gives it to the government and whatever.
And now he's partnering with them to launch this VR San Andreas game.
Wow, that sounds great, Ryan.
Thank you.
This shows off to a boring start, don't you think?
Well, I couldn't disagree more.
When I saw that woman, I thought, women don't belong in the workforce, and this is such a great example of women not feeling comfortable in their jobs because they shouldn't be there.
It's affirmative action.
And we'll be discussing this later in the show.
But I just, when I saw her, I just thought, thank you, Alec Baldwin.
He is the only guy who is fighting back against women in the workforce and trying to lower their numbers.
In fact, after she was shot, she said, that was no good.
I got to say, watching him get harassed all over the place, this pains me to say, but he's quite a dresser.
I've never seen him in a bad outfit.
Even when he's crying about taking women out of the workforce, he looks pretty good.
He's aging gracefully, I'm afraid.
Sorry.
I don't like him either, but.
I thought they just said pew.
Like, you know, when you do a gun sound, pew?
I was like, what?
Put the gun down and went, pew, pew.
He put this pew, pew on the pew and repeated what the fuck just happened.
My friend was him for Halloween, complete with the women being shot.
How did he do the woman being shot?
He just had a woman just like.
With a bullet hole in her?
Yeah, let me see if I can get the pic.
That's pretty good.
I don't like talking about Halloween after Halloween.
That's true.
Severely dangerous.
Oh, my boy went all out.
Oh, that looks pretty good.
Did you blur them on purpose?
No.
Yeah.
This is not related to anything, and it's got its own category here.
Prager, Dennis Prager, did a video on marriage, and it was, this guy is, he reminds me of Charles Murray in his profundity.
Hoping that's a word.
He's a very profound dude.
And I thought this was, it's rare in this day and age you hear new thoughts.
Take, for example, that moron grape ape wrestler that's on Greg Guttfeld's show.
He's never once said anything remotely interesting that makes you go, huh.
But Prager regularly does.
And I had never thought of this before.
But take it away, Dan.
So here is the first question I ask a couple when they're thinking of getting married.
I don't ask, do you share values?
I don't ask, do you love each other?
I don't ask, are you in love?
I ask them, do you enjoy each other?
And someone who's been married many years, not in one marriage, but many years, I'm telling you, that's what it comes down to.
Because that includes everything.
Do you enjoy each other includes values?
I'm not going to enjoy someone who thinks America is a cesspool.
Okay?
No matter how wonderful the human beings are.
How could you enjoy someone if you don't share values?
Yeah, it does encompass everything, sure.
I mean, my wife is not pro-life, but I'm not sure how deep that goes because if she got pregnant today, I would make her keep it and she would.
Anyway.
Someone who has the opposite values of mine.
So it includes all these things.
It may not include, are you in love?
I think in love is great.
I don't want to knock that.
But nevertheless, there are people who love each other and don't enjoy each other.
Just as there are people who love each other and don't like each other.
There are a lot of parents who love their kids and don't like them.
Like, to my, I think like is more sustaining than love in the long run.
And I'm a big fan of love and I really love my wife.
Oh, wait a minute.
Those people who don't like their kids but love their kids, that's just a phase.
Like teenagers are a fucking nightmare.
I was a total dick to my dad, but he loved me and now we're best friends because that love persisted.
Like is I'm not sure I agree with him on that.
I get what he's saying within the enjoy thing, but like is temporary.
Love is permanent.
None of this is really sticking for me because he's, I mean, he's not really using his hands.
I mean, he does one little karate chop here, and I'm a big fan of love.
I'm going to really love my wife.
One karate chop.
That's one karate chop.
Dennis, you need to emote with your hands.
Save for the people in the back.
Nevertheless.
Like when you say love, you go like this.
Right.
I think it's very important to love your wife, but you need to like her too.
Why not just learn sign language at this point?
If you don't like her, then go away.
You told me I could have one or the other, I would take like.
So that's why I do ask, do you enjoy each other?
Related to that is, do you miss the person when you're not together?
That to me is about as great a question and thing to have as you can have.
Dude, that's making me paranoid.
I cannot imagine my wife missing me.
No.
No.
That's not true.
I could.
She was in Madison for like three weeks this summer.
Well, I barely got a call.
When you're together super long, doesn't like miss take a longer duration to take effect?
Like if you're seeing somebody every day and then they go away for like a month, maybe you start to miss them then.
Well, I think that when women are menopausal, they want to be alone and they're not exactly horny.
So why do they need me?
That's true.
Isn't that a show, My Wife Hates Me?
Or a movie?
Yes.
It's a podcast with Rich Voss and Bonnie McFarland.
Two of the coolest people ever.
Yeah, I love Bonnie McFarland and Rich Voss.
Not pompous at all.
Rich Voss is another guy, hardworking, and so is Bonnie, really.
Hardworking comedians that don't have the sprinkles and they've made an okay life for themselves.
That's so fucking funny.
So true.
Oh, damn, Ant, longtime friend, agrees.
What?
Anthony, a longtime friend of theirs, agrees.
That's got to be hurtful.
Oh, he's finally got your joke.
Dudes, so there's some shit going on in New York City.
And I got some inside scoop.
So the mandate is insane.
We're all overcompensating here.
There's so much work being put in to the pandemic now that it's over.
The death rates are, it's done.
And we're acting like it's two years ago.
And we've got mandates all over the place, airlines, construction sites.
And now de Blasio is pushing it for all New York workers, FDNY, NYPD.
So they're walking out in droves.
Guess why they're doing it?
To stop all these COVID deaths?
What COVID deaths?
We're done.
They want to darken, specifically, the top brass of the FDNY.
Now, those guys stay in there for a long time.
They're like Supreme Court judges.
And you get promoted, promoted, and then you're looking, trying to make captain, whatever, and you need the other captain to leave before you can get in there.
Well, this is a way to force them out.
So they're going to force out, well, thousands and thousands of sanitation workers, cops, blah, blah, blah.
But a big part of this is now we have a clean slate.
We brush off the old sort of Supreme Court judges of the FDNY and fill them in with black guys who aren't qualified.
They can be from, they'll give them a mini course in fire prevention, make them watch a DVD, and then boom, they're the captains of all the firehouses and they're in charge of who does what.
So it's agenda-driven, as socialism always is.
But Senate, everyone's quitting now because of this stupid, corrupt affirmative action scam, and garbage is all over the city.
It looks like the 90s again, pre-Giuliani, I mean.
And crime is way up.
And crime is getting more elaborate, like this.
Oh, wait, no.
Yeah, let's just jump ahead to 1-8.
This guy.
I've never really seen a Molotov cocktail on a hidden camera, like on a security camera.
And it is a phenomenally effective weapon, I just learned.
Look at this.
This guy knows what he's doing.
Kaboom.
We've got to go to night vision.
Look at that.
Like, that deli's literally toast.
And then this guy stops the second one.
Gets some gas on him, I think.
I think his foot was on fire there.
Look at that, though.
Boom.
This is in Brooklyn over the weekend.
Saturday, according to the security can.
It's lit up the entire street in the car in front of it, and they're yards away.
My lord.
And then also, check out 17.
This is the subway system now.
Oh, here's another thing, too.
The pandemic is so bad that we have to have a mandate and everyone is going to be fired unless they're vaccinated.
At the same time, they're not really pushing masks anymore.
Like, have you noticed on the train, they used to bring you a mask.
And you remember you gotten shit for having a mesh mask?
Yep.
Now I don't wear it.
And they just go, meh.
Yeah.
I'm done.
There's one Asian guy that'll, like, he'll hound me about it.
He'd be like, you have to put on a mask.
I was like, it's all right.
I'm just going to get off the next stop.
He's like, you have to.
And he gives me the mask and I don't wear it.
And then he just ignores that, which I feel bad for giving it a hard time, but he's the only one doing it.
So he's the jerk.
Well, the elephant in the room with those conductors is they're told not to enforce anything.
So when the black teenagers say, I don't have any money, I don't have a ticket, they don't call the cops because that will slow down the whole train.
And now 900 people are late for work.
Crazy.
So they just don't pay.
Oh, shit.
So someone's down there.
And then a nude guy grabs.
And then the nude guy starts fighting that woman.
World's worst camera man.
Now, is the third rail really a thing?
I think so.
Is it a completely naked person?
Yep.
Hold up, hold up.
So someone's down on the tracks, jumps on the tracks.
The guy goes down there to get him.
A nude man appears.
He fights the nude man.
The nude man's knocked out or I don't know if he's electrocuted.
Is he getting zapped as we look?
No, you'd see smoke and shit, right?
I think so.
I don't think the third wheel is a thing.
I don't think you can touch the electrical part.
Why can't he move?
He's not acting like someone getting shocked.
He's acting like someone who was knocked out.
Oh.
I believe you can.
Oh, so is this the same video?
That's the same guy.
So this happened in January.
Oh, really?
Wait, the video I just showed you is from January?
This one says, well, it was published January 2021, and it looks like the same naked man.
Yeah.
And it says, naked man electrocuted, unless this happens.
I mean, it's New York City.
Naked man electrocuted by a New York City subway third rail after he shoved a strap hanger to tracks.
And then this is an article, what to do if you fall on the New York City tracks.
Watch the third rail.
It's a lethal third rail which powers subway cars with enough electricity to kill a person in an instant.
So it is true.
The third rail can be either on the side of the main running rails and can be identified by a gray cover guard.
In a safety training transit, workers are instructed to never walk between the third rail and the main running rail.
Look at that piece of advice.
You see the last one?
Climb back to the platform if possible.
Oh, thanks.
Thanks for the tip.
That's like when those news shows would say, it's going to be raining very hard this weekend, so pack some waterproof gear and bring an umbrella when you go out and wear rubber boots.
Or it's going to be cold out there this weekend, folks.
So bundle up.
Wear a scarf and a hat.
Here's how you live your life, people.
You check the weather on your phone.
You check midday and you dress accordingly.
If it says 70 at noon and it's 48 right now, then go outside in a t-shirt and freeze your ass off in the morning.
Or you will be carrying a coat around all day, like my wife does everywhere she goes.
She has a shirt on and a sweater and a jacket.
And I'm like, you're going to be carrying that around for the entire trip.
And she's like, oh, I'm fine.
Inevitably.
Hanging off her.
Come on.
I'm fucking sick.
One time I was telling my kids that, I was like, you should be cold in the morning and cold at night and dress for the middle of the day.
So freeze your ass off at 48 degrees on the way to school if it's going to be 70 that day.
And so we were hiking in the woods, and some old man goes, I didn't know that.
And I'm like, yep, it's a fact.
Here's a funny video I saw that, remember we were talking about their end game last week?
How it's total and utter destruction?
Well, that includes them.
They're suicidal, depressed, and they want us to die with them.
They want a James Joan Kool-Aid, drink the Kool-Aid death pact.
Check out this logic.
Abortion isn't killing.
Abortion is also not the opposite of adoption.
Abortion deals with pregnancy.
Adoption deals with parenting.
And as an adopted person, I would much rather have been aborted.
The trauma of my loss would have been ended with my first parents.
It would not have been then passed down to me with abandonment.
Okay, would you rather they adopted you or just abort you?
Abort.
It's simple.
Either way, it would have been trauma.
Abortion?
Not.
So you're saying that ultimately adopted that would have been more traumatic than just.
Kill a baby.
Kill a two-year-old.
Four-year-olds barely remember anything.
Kill a four-year-old.
They won't remember it.
Shoot them in the back of the head.
That was.
And the thing I like about it, too, is she just admitted that pro-choicers are pro-death, which is why we call ourselves pro-life.
All right, let's start the show.
You ready, Ryan?
Yes.
Okay, let's get started then.
Virginia is coming up.
What is that?
Tomorrow?
The election in Virginia, and is Virginia a swing state?
I think it is.
They've had a Democrat there forever, but the Republican incumbent is doing very well.
And it is neck and neck, changing by the minute.
I think our guy, Glovekin or something, is up 1%.
And Terry McCliffe.
This says Virginia isn't a swing state anymore.
So what does that mean, though?
The state was reliably red, then having back companies, blah, blah, blah.
Now Virginia seems to be getting the cold shoulder because it's considered solidly blue.
Well, it's looking pretty fucking red.
That sounds like a swing state.
Yeah, that sounds like a swing state, dude.
It's not a swing state because it's blue and could maybe go red.
But check out Kamala getting everyone pumped on last week.
I think it was Friday.
Tomorrow?
Nothing like saying, you want to meet me tomorrow?
What you doing tomorrow?
You got any plans tomorrow?
Tomorrow's a good day.
It's going to be a good day.
But the point is...
Stop.
Do you get what's going on here?
This is a white woman who is somehow related to a black person somewhere down the line trying to be black and guessing colloquialisms.
Like she thinks what you doing tomorrow is a thing, like Netflix and Chill or TGIF.
And nothing better.
Hey, Ryan, what you doing tomorrow?
Doesn't that feel good?
No?
No.
No, it doesn't feel good.
What you doing tomorrow?
It's annoying, actually.
What you doing tomorrow?
It's like, I don't.
I guess I'll do the show.
I'll work out.
I don't know.
Tuesdays, we don't really do anything.
Wednesdays, I got to do Kumi's show.
Yeah, you're trying to hang out?
Yeah, I think, do my kids have base.
No, I don't, yeah.
I don't know.
What are you doing?
Who cares?
That was always an annoying question.
On Friday, you got any plans this weekend?
I don't know, dude.
Any plans this weekend?
So, yeah, that was a pathetic attempt at getting the crowd riled up.
But the funniest part of the whole weekend, of course, was...
This is the weirdest prank ever.
So the DNC said, we need emergency Operation Racist.
We need to make this guy racist or we're doomed.
And it works.
Make him a proud boy?
No, we need to go crazier than that.
Make him pro-Charlottesville.
I mean, we are in Virginia, after all.
So get the Tiki Torch guys to say they endorse him.
Actually, get them to show up.
Well, they won't fall for it, and they don't really exist anymore.
They have their lives destroyed.
Oh, okay.
Well, the Lincoln Project will help us.
They'll dress up our DNC operatives, the Youth Volunteer Brigade.
They'll dress up as Charlottesville dudes with tiki torches, and they'll stand next to a Terry truck, or I mean a Glovekin truck.
So they did that.
And it was really weird.
The person taking credit for collaborative...
Oh, yeah.
So Lauren Windsor, God knows how much money was wasted on this stupid prank.
Lauren Windsor sees these men approach Glenn Youngkin's bus as it pulled up and said, we're all in for Glenn.
Here they are standing in front of the bus.
And Laura Windsor has the, oh my gosh, face.
Meanwhile, she did it.
She's the one who, a communication consultant.
I work with Project Lincoln to coordinate today's Yonkin Action in Charlottesville.
I joined them in the fight to defend our democracy.
So now they're pretending that it was like a performance art.
Which is not true.
It was meant to look really bad, and we weren't supposed to look anyone up.
But the fucking internet went, something doesn't smell right about this.
And they tracked all down and found out that they were all part of this like Young Democrats for Change group.
But show the first picture?
Is there anything lower than that?
No, they don't have the picture there.
Oh, okay.
Well, look up 2-1.
Maybe they've got pictures of it because there's something very weird I'm about to tell you.
I assume you already know this.
Oh, yeah, they're really doubling down, too, with their political correctness.
I think that's why Glenn is doing well, is because they made it all about racism, and racism in America is really anti-white people versus people who are not anti-white.
That's all it means.
Anti-white versus not anti-white.
And yeah, here it is.
Tight race.
Yunkin is making him.
So sorry, hold on.
Just to get back to that previous thing.
So the other guy, Terry, was saying that there's too many white teachers and made his campaign about being anti-white.
So he's trying to get as radical as AOC and the squad.
And I think it fucked him in the ass.
And that's why Glenn Yunken is doing well because the dummy got too radical.
So now he has to justify his radical behavior by saying that there's white nationalists all over the place, which is a myth.
This was the scene at Guadalajara on East Market Street in Charlottesville.
Inside, it looked like a regular campaign appearance.
Outside, a painful and tasteless reminder of the August 2017 Unite the Right violence.
When we asked if he knew who these people with tiki torches and khakis were, Junkins said, I think they work for Terry McAuliffe.
And I'm sure he said them.
This is what he does.
This is what 43-year politicians do.
When they see their 43-year critical career sunsetting coming to an end, they'll do anything to win.
And he's doing anything to win.
And so he's paying people to show up and act silly at our rallies.
And the reality is, no one's paying attention to him.
McAuliffe's team denied the accusation.
They say this was not us or anyone affiliated with our campaign.
There is one candidate in this race who has embraced white nationalists, and his name is Glenn Younkin.
The Lincoln Project, which calls itself an American political action committee formed to defeat Trumpism, has since admitted to being behind the incident.
It says the demonstration was, quote, our way of reminding Virginians what happened in Charlottesville, Florida.
So you see what happened here.
They got caught.
The deep web sussed them out.
And now they're saying it was performance art.
We did it on purpose.
We knew we'd get caught.
But here's the craziest part of all this.
Did you catch anything about the people that were there?
Did you see them?
Right?
Yeah.
They looked young and diverse.
That's the problem here.
I'm rarely stumped.
Oh, yeah.
Wait a second.
I'm rarely stumped.
But what the fuck were you thinking?
They have to include diversity, even if they're trying to portray white supremacists.
I think, look, I've been thinking about this all weekend.
I think that the left has successfully mainstreamed the ridiculous notion of multiracial white supremacy.
And when they see that one black prow boy at a rally, they go, okay, I'm not going to disavow myself of the possibility that these people are racist.
So what I'm going to do is just include blacks and say black people are white nationalists.
Which is going to go down as the clowniest clown world thing.
So the guy just hates himself?
Like, who are these black people that think whites are superior?
Look at them too.
And white nationalists, they don't just think that whites are superior.
They're all freezing.
They got drenched.
They think that whites and blacks should be separate.
So you're already violating one of their tenets just by fraternizing.
So that's the best theory I can come up with, folks.
Black Prowboys have made the left not even blink when there's a black white nationalist.
So yeah, they discovered them all.
And they all deleted their tiki gate, they're calling it.
They're all deleting their social media.
If it was performance art and you wanted to get caught, why are you deleting all your social media?
Why were you pretending with emojis that you were surprised?
She rebranded her Twitter account several times.
Flipped Arizona Blue.
These tweets are protected.
These tweets are protected.
It was a really dumb prank, guys.
It's the internet age.
You're going to get caught.
2-2.
I already talked about her, right?
Did you make it to 2-3?
I'm getting paranoid about the momentum of this show.
Yeah.
The financial director.
Anyway, they've sussed them all up.
All right, let's jump over to some racism because that's really what we're talking about.
Let's talk about racism.
That was racist.
What other different...
What else could I have done to piss you off?
Black woman?
This is really inconvenient.
Okay, that's the perfect length for an interstitial.
22 seconds.
Are you gay?
That one is a little too long.
Gang, gang, gang, gang.
Wait, that one's actually 19 seconds.
Oh, really?
Weird.
Okay.
By the way, did you notice that every black woman in that intro has long, straight hair that is not hers?
Black women, the longest their hair can go if they straighten it, which takes a mountain of work and usually makes them go bald because they have to yank it back, is like chin length.
If it's longer than that, then it's a wig or extensions.
Which is cultural appropriation, right?
Look at 2.6, though.
This whole show could just be libs of TikTok.
Please stop scrolling and join me for today's edition of, ooh, I think that's racist.
I would much appreciate it because I have a little story for you.
So recently I was at the salon and my awesome stylist while I was there decided to introduce me to the owner.
This is a new thing.
And this woman was Hand talking.
She even goes like this at one point in the video, which reminds me of that lesbian who was like, who had the hand tattoo, and she's like, guys, I messed up.
I messed up.
I did it.
I did it.
I misgendered someone.
Very lovely.
She was about a 50-something white woman.
Really kind.
But this woman had box braids all the way to her waist.
White woman.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but like, that's appropriation, right?
That's bad.
We don't do that.
And honestly, like, I didn't know what to say.
Like, what do you say to that?
It's not like she was mean or anything, but she was clearly ugh.
Ugh.
Ugh.
Black people, you're pretty chilled out because us white people seem to always have our hands in your cookie jar and you haven't slaughtered us all.
Thank you.
We're dicks.
So that's racist.
That's my favorite part.
Or at least appropriate.
You haven't slaughtered us all.
Thank you.
We're dicks.
Thank you for not killing us, black people.
We're the worst.
We're racist.
We kill.
We're Charlottesville.
Heather Heyer died.
We killed Heather Heyer.
This was interesting.
That chick I like, 2-5.
Yeah, look at this chart.
This is Kim Ivers.
White supremacists brought their hate to Virginia when they marched through the streets of Charlottesville.
As the threat of violent white supremacy continues to mount, we must do more.
Law enforcement has the training and resources they need to detect, deter, and investigate these acts of terrorism.
But here's the thing: according to the FBI, white supremacists were responsible for a total of 49 homicides from 2000 to 2016.
That's three per year on average.
Okay, so now there are 50.
By the way, in that same time period, you have September 11th.
So we have thousands of thousands of Islamic deaths.
And even if you don't count 9-11, you get like 50.
So that's more than white nationalists.
And that's relevant because Muslims are 1% of the population.
And according to the left, white nationalists, punch and Nazi Trump supporters are like 50% of the population.
So they should be doing a lot more than that.
Three deaths a year.
Spider bites is six deaths a year.
White nationalists are up there around sharks as far as you getting killed.
I bet snakes.
I bet snakes kill more people than white nats.
How many Americans die of snake bites a year?
In Costa Rica, it's probably one a month.
Yeah, blacks kill 20 blacks a day.
A day.
White nationalists kill three people a year, and the media will not shut up about it.
I know you think I go on about it too much.
They bite how many deaths?
See, this is like COVID.
I don't care about the cases.
On average, five Americans die from a snake bite every year.
So spiders and snakes are more deadly than white nationalists.
And you know where to find spiders and snakes.
They're everywhere.
White nationalists, where do you find those?
Where are they?
Yeah, like if we put up flyers all over New York, first of all, we'd be arrested.
If we were looking for white nationalists for a meeting, a private meeting, we'd love Nazis to come by.
Okay, we'd be arrested for putting up those flyers.
But like think of the people who would come by.
There might be one weird dude in like a sweater.
It'd be regular feds and then the weird fed in the sweater.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, when I say who would come, I don't mean feds and Antifa.
I mean, can you imagine, like, can you picture this bona fide white nationalist?
Even times when I've heard dudes saying, I told you this before, right?
When I heard a dude saying he'd kill a dog, he'd kill a black person before he'd kill a dog.
They're below dog or something like that.
He was drunk.
And an ex-cop.
And then next time I saw him, he's with his black best friend.
They were dying laughing.
I didn't get a word in Edgewise.
In other words, he was just running his mouth.
It didn't mean anything.
But yeah, there is privilege in America.
It's black privilege.
And it's the right to just shit on white people constantly.
Like Colin Kaepernick in his new documentary, this keeps coming up on my feed, and it really is amazing.
His hair is black power hair, yes, for a woman.
He's appropriating black women's hair.
In the 60s, the Black Panthers, the men, Cleveland Seals, Eldridge Cleaver, they had their hair like mine and they wore berets.
It was fades.
The women, it was, what's his name?
Queenie Cleaver or something.
Eldridge Cleaver's wife.
It was Angela Davis.
It was Pamela Pam Greer.
All the women had big afros, dumbass.
It's like these crusty punks that get facial tattoos that are Maori.
And you're like, that's what Maori women do to say they're married, you fucking retard.
So anyway, go up to 2-4.
The NFL is slavery, by the way.
Check it out.
Look at his human's hair.
What's being established is a power dynamic.
He's not a useful idiot.
He's a useful retard.
I think he might be the dumbest person in the world.
Yeah.
They're about to invest hundreds of millions in you.
No dignity left intact.
They do this in everything.
Like, they do this with the fire department.
This is a grade school presentation done by a dumb chick.
Are these poor slaves about to receive a $45 million contract each?
And how many football players have been absolved of their crimes from beating the shit out of their wife to murder?
You have guys in the NFL who have murdered people.
No problem.
Don't worry about it.
You're in the NFL now.
This is so stupid.
So they went to college, worked their ass off, trained for the like.
This is the dumbest analogy I've ever seen in my life.
It's hard to put it together.
Because isn't like...
Oh my God, look at that.
The guy selling the slaves just shook hands with the coach.
Pathetic.
Nice woman here, you dork.
What a dork.
You know what they were doing in the NFL?
I think this is in the notes, too.
Yeah, go to 2.9.
So they want to see if we gave you a concussion, right?
That's fair.
We're studying this.
Everyone is worried about the concussion rates in the NFL, and I think it's pretty valid.
I mean, OJ got his noggin so cracked that he behead a woman.
And speaking of black privilege, by the way, he's doing videos now.
He's at the Buffalo Bills game talking about who he thinks is going to win.
They're going to beat the Dolphins.
This guy chopped off a woman's head.
Trump made a pussy joke, and he'll never live it down.
A white man, I mean, a black man chopped off a woman's head, but he was a football star, so we love him.
Does that sound like a slave to you?
Slaves.
Slaves didn't get to chop off women's heads.
It was frowned upon.
They were severely punished for such crimes.
So the NFL gives IQ tests to players so that after their career ends, they can be tested again to see if they are owed compensation for cognitive decline as a result of multiple concussions.
But what they were doing with blacks is their initial scores were so bad that they were upping them.
So say, like, I think retarded is an 80.
So say they got an 82.
They thought, well, that's embarrassing.
This is Down syndrome.
We have to get it closer to the average of 100.
So they'd up it to 95.
And then they would check his IQ at the end, and it would have gone down to 82.
But it didn't go down.
It was always 82.
You know what I mean?
So the compensation doesn't make sense anymore.
You can't adjust the figures.
We need metrics here.
And now the embarrassing thing is that it's all coming out into the open and that wasn't supposed to happen.
See, this is what happens when you play God.
When you start deciding that you're going to change the truth, God gets mad and there's punishments for that.
It's called lying.
It's called fraud.
It's happening, actually.
It happened with Ibram X. What is that?
Yeah.
See, you keep tooling around and getting curious.
And no, that's not what I was looking for.
2-7.
You get curious.
You start looking under rugs and you start saying, wait a minute, you lied about the players' IQs.
They didn't go down at all.
More than a third of white students lied about their race.
See, Ibrahim is such a thick tard himself that he saw this and he went, white people are doing bad things.
And then he just leapt.
He jumped off the cliff without thinking.
You don't have a parachute, dude.
They do this because of black privilege.
You just conceded that black privilege is a thing.
More than a third of white students lied about their race on college applications and about half of these applicants lied about being Native American.
More than three-fourths of these students who lied about their race were accepted.
In other words, it's advantageous not to be white.
That's not good.
So Pozo, Jack Posobic, brings that up, and Ibrahim X has a fucking meltdown.
They lie about what I said to defend the lying of white college applications.
Ibrahim accidentally admits minority applications have a better chance of getting into college.
Deletes tweet.
So then Ibrahim starts saying this is racist.
I think it's the, I should read the bottom one first.
They imagine white people are disadvantaged while white people are on the higher end of nearly every racial disparity.
They imagine black and native people have advantage.
No, that's just a lie.
The higher end of what?
Yes, I guess if you look at the richest people in America, you're going to see predominantly white faces, but that's because America is predominantly white.
It's true of Japan.
And whites are not the wealthiest ethnic group.
They are the seventh most wealthy ethnic group.
They're way behind Asians.
Here's our tortured line of thinking.
When white applicants think they have an advantage by lying about being a person of color, they do.
Then that means they do have an advantage, but they do.
That's why they do it.
And it's not just whites.
This is black privilege.
Mindy Kaling's brother is Indian, dark brown.
So he shaved his head bald and said he was black, and he got into law school because of it.
So it's black privilege, more than just non-white privilege.
So then Ibram just went off on a tangent about how everyone's attacking him for speaking out, and that's what they did to the slaves.
It's the same Colin Kaepernick thing.
Anything I don't like is slavery.
If I go to the doctor and he grabs my balls and tells me to cough and puts his finger up my ass, that's slavery.
A colonoscopy is slavery.
You know what they did to that black dude?
What was Justin Volpe?
Stuck a broom up Ahmed Arbery's ass?
Just like a colonoscopy.
Colonoscopy is white on black violence.
They lie about what I said to defend the lying of white.
No, we didn't, dude.
You don't even understand your own argument.
So these cats are getting out of the bag.
And the secret to socialism, if you want it to be successful, like what de Blasio and Eric Adams are planning with this decapitating the FDNY and making it darker.
I got that on an inside, inside, inside tip.
You're not going to see that in the New York Post.
That's the way to do it behind closed doors.
Sunlight is the best disinfectant.
If you want to infect things, keep it dark.
I don't mean racially.
So now the world seems to be discovering, yeah, what's been going on with college admissions?
Go to 2.8.
Thanks for not killing us.
What does a white Asian applicant need to score to be admitted to an Ivy League versus a black Hispanic applicant?
Very simple question.
Weight that number and see who's dealing with structural racism.
Now, what the Dr. Imbram would say, Dr. Imbram, his name is like Terry Jones, by the way.
He'd say, no, no, no, this is to counter the structural racism.
And you're like, okay, but when you talk about structural racism that's white on black, you never really have good examples.
Like you'll talk about the incarceration rate, but a lot of those crimes happened.
Oh, yeah, well, white people do crimes too and they don't get prosecuted.
That's not the case, I'm afraid.
I'm sorry.
Blacks appear more in prison because they appear more in the crime stats.
And every time I look at structure, hiring at the FDMY, college admissions, I see structural racism that's anti-white and anti-Asian.
This is the problem.
You started this, by the way, by looking under rocks, calling us all domestic terrorists.
That's why we looked it up ourselves and went, you're wrong.
The numbers don't add up.
You should have shut up.
This is why Chinese are worthy adversaries when it comes to illegal aliens, because they just hide.
We don't know how many are here, what they're doing.
Mexican illegals will go and protest and say, no humans are illegal besides me.
That's not how you do it.
That's exactly what happened.
Why did Hannibal Lecter, Hannibal Burris, stop doing that show?
There must be some gossip there.
What's this, 3-0?
You are the problem.
Oh, yeah, this was funny.
I meant to get to this last week.
AT ⁇ T tells white staff they are racist, ask them to confess their white privilege and to promote to fund the police as part of a re-education program by CEO John Stanky.
You know what you're doing, you dumbasses?
You're red pilling people, and you might be sending them too far right, way past me.
I'm trying to grab some as they drift by.
Hold on to them.
But you're creating an avalanche.
Like if I'm at AT ⁇ T and I'm getting told how evil white people are, I'm going to start being like, nah, they're actually pretty awesome.
And then the next thing you know, I'm like a white nationalist because you kept telling me how much I suck and I kept looking it up and seeing the opposite.
Go down and look at his face.
Oh, wow, you found that?
It's going to be the same old bullshit.
After one and a half episodes, Emma quits the show and is poorly cloned.
No, that's not funny.
Yeah, it's just going to...
That's what they tell everyone.
This is just PR.
The more I tried to talk him into it, the more I could tell he was pushing away.
Ooh.
I don't know, man.
We've been doing it for a while.
I'm down to keep collaborating.
I just don't want to do the show anymore, man.
I was heartbroken.
He's just lazy, I bet.
I don't want to get up no more, man.
Got to do the show.
Yeah, so that...
Let's look at his face, though.
He's a rich Jewish guy who was born into wealth, and he's always been at telecom companies.
And now the thing to do is be anti-white at these places.
So he's like, yeah, whatever.
I mean, I didn't get here by thinking outside the box.
If that's what's hot, then let's do it.
I've obtained a cache of internal documents about the company's initiative called Listen, Understand, Act, which is based on the core principles of critical race theory.
Oh, fantastic.
Including intersectionality, white fragility.
God damn it, that book.
I haven't read it.
Milo did.
He said it's one of the worst written books you've ever read.
And it's like the backbone of this movement.
But here's some good news about all this.
We need to out Karen the Karens.
Like, go to 3-1 first.
In and out is a fast food of white supremacists.
So that's the idiotic clown world we're living in.
And then, remember last week I was saying, fighting back doesn't take that much.
You just have to get fired, get in trouble, voice your opinion.
And this guy, 3-3, he said, I've had enough of this bullshit.
White male marketing VP at North Carolina Hospital wins $10 million reverse discrimination payout after he was replaced by two women, one of whom is black, as part of a diversity and inclusion program.
See, this is what happened with the FDNY.
They should sue too.
Actually, I'd heard about a case where the blacks were having trouble with the test at FDNY, and they didn't get in because of it.
So they sued, and the trial went on for 10 years, and eventually they won.
They said, yes, the test is racist because you did badly at it.
And so they were hired onto the FDNY, and they passed.
So they're starting their careers, but the court said, I think I've told you this story before.
The court said, okay, you should have been a fireman woman all of this time.
So we're back paying you the 10 years.
So a million bucks.
$100,000 a year, yeah.
Isn't that insane?
Imagine the resentment from the other guys who have almost died 30 times and someone just straddles in, hi, I was here for 10 years.
Isn't that funny?
Reverse discrimination?
Yeah.
What?
It's discrimination.
Like, I don't know.
To call it reverse discrimination implies that he was discriminating first.
Right.
Like, if I kill a gang member, that's like a reverse gang shooting?
Well, the implication is that he had been discriminating just by his very existence, and then he was being punished for it, which is fucking nuts.
There he is.
Remember, Scott Adams talks about that, how he would hit the ceilings in his various jobs, and they say, Sorry, we have to hire a black person before we can give you another raise or promote you.
So you'd have to start again.
And isn't it funny that it took two women to do one man's job?
I love it.
All right.
Speaking of CRT, let's jump to the war on kids.
That's right.
We don't need no education.
We are living in an ageism era where children are seen as human garbage.
Regulations to indocument American school children with poisonous and divisive left-wing doctrine.
How long is that one?
It feels a little long.
24 seconds.
Yep.
So yeah, dude 3-6, this teacher goes, I know we're told not to do CRT.
I trick my kids.
Iowa teacher proudly shares, this is what they always do.
They're always proudly sharing their crimes.
Cops can't say anything on social media without getting fired.
Teachers can because they cannot be fired.
Iowa teacher proudly shares how she circumvents state's ban on CRT by telling students what she can't teach, then encouraging their questions about it.
I can't teach you guys that systemic racism is the backbone of this country.
And maybe you want to ask me why or what these details are of this thing that we're not allowed to talk about.
Yeah.
You know what?
I wouldn't have a problem with critical race theory if it was treated as a theory.
And then it was countered with, we fought the Indians for 400 years.
We eventually won.
They were worthy adversaries.
They fought alongside us against us.
There was a myriad of tribes here.
They were killing each other too.
And we were just the most successful of one of many tribes who invaded this nascent land.
And as far as the black thing goes, yes, we participated in slavery, but we didn't start it and we ended it.
So you're welcome for that, black America and the world.
I think the video's gone.
Look at her giggling about it.
Wait, wait, stop, stop, stop.
Go back up again?
No, no, not that high.
My courses are inquiry-based, which means I do my best to put students' questions at the center of the curriculum and then work to answer those questions.
This all sounds like manipulation and brainwashing, isn't it?
And then I saw this, Ottawa, my hometown, has banned Lord of the Flies.
This is 3-4.
Lord of the Flies?
There's no one in there but just a bunch of kids on an island.
What did they do wrong?
Ottawa School Board removes Lord of the Flies from curriculum due to white male power structures.
But didn't it take place in like the 40s in Britain?
Look up Lord of the Flies.
Did you know Lord of the Flies happened?
No.
Yeah.
I think it was in New Zealand or somewhere like Polynesia.
And these students, young men, I think they were white also, went on a big boat trip with those little pontoon things.
And a storm hit them.
They were stranded and they ended up living on an island for like a month.
This had nothing to do with William Golding.
I don't think it inspired him to write the book.
But it actually happened.
Coincidentally.
Nothing to do with Lord of the Flies.
1954, blah, blah, blah.
But when is it supposed to take place?
Go down?
So let's just say the 50s.
Wait, wait, wait.
Oh, he didn't like the way they were depicted in 1857.
Oh, yeah, that was another interesting thing.
Golding didn't like boys.
And he didn't like children, and he didn't like society.
He was a lefty SJW, and we saw what their endgame is, death.
So he didn't like the utopian views of this Gilligan's Island type shit.
Because they were doing it way before Gilligan's Island.
So he wrote a book where they were all evil and they killed each other and they were fucking savage monsters.
But in the case I was talking about, look up Real Lord of the Flies.
They got along great.
Made some bananas.
Made some bananas.
Were they God?
Made bananas from scratch.
We should put out a recipe book of impossible things.
Making bananas from scratch.
First, get a banana peel.
Fucking on ad block that.
Okay.
I'm not mad at you for that, Ryan.
Thank you.
A real-life Lord of the Flies 50-year-old story stranded on an island.
Schoolboys work together to survive 15 months.
Wow.
Holy crap.
I thought it was a month.
Maybe they were making bananas.
Mano Tatuo.
So were they Maoris?
Mauro Tatuo and five friends were studying at a boarding school in Tonga, an island nation in the Pacific Ocean.
Bored rebellious and yearning for adventure, they stole a traditional whaling boat and with reckless abandon set off for Fiji.
No, no Injun.
So they were Hawaiians.
But Mao, isn't Fiji about 500 miles away?
We didn't have a map or a compass.
So anyway, they did a great job.
That's an interesting...
So, you know what's interesting with all that is, so Lord of the Flies was the 1950s.
And we were still having this, thank you for not killing us.
We're pieces of shit.
We're savages.
We deserve to die.
So this nihilism appears to be new, but it's not.
Marxist leftists have always wanted to annihilate society.
Foucault and all of those existentialists were at their heart just nihilist morticians that wanted us all to die.
In the final draft of Lord of the Flies, does not specify a time and date the novel takes place.
One can infer the novel might take place around World War II.
He was a veteran.
Maybe he had PTSD from the war.
Oh, and this I've been meaning to get to for a while.
We're calling college students children if we're including this in the war on kids.
But, you know, they do this from K through 12 all the way through college.
But you've seen this woman now, right?
This Rutgers Profu said, you know, when I see white people and how evil they are, I want to, like you, assuming we all hate them, I want to take these motherfuckers out.
But you can't do that.
You can't, like, she was trying to sound cultured and civilized because she doesn't give in to her inherent desire to kill all white people.
What a sweetheart.
No, go back.
That's a separate thing.
We got to take white people out.
Calls white people villains.
CRT is just the proper teaching of American history.
Oh, so it's not a theory.
It's a fact.
I see.
So I was right.
Praises dwindling white birth rates and analytic discussion.
Okay, so here she is doing a TED talk.
This probably way before she got this radical, but the reason I included this in the notes is she's exhausted just standing there because she's such a fat piece of shit.
Long-standing joke about our perpetual lateness to church, to cookouts, to family events, and even to our own family.
You're a long-standing jerk.
Funerals remain.
I personally am a stickler for time.
It's almost as if my mother, when I was...
Like, I've been standing on the stage breathing hard for you because you ran here because you were late.
Growing up said, we will not be those black people.
So we typically arrive to events 30 minutes early.
But today, I want to talk to you more about the political nature of time.
For if time had a race, it would be white.
And racist.
Thanks.
White people.
Accidentally cooling up whiteness.
People own time.
But this long-standing joke.
Did she say own time or they own time?
They always own time.
See if you can find that initial rant, though.
I didn't include it in where she wants to take these motherfuckers out.
What's her large naming?
Brittany Cooper.
Oh, I forgot my computer.
I'm going to have to run into the office.
By the way, speaking of privilege, look how much everyone's enjoying her take these motherfuckers out.
Then, when Obama was gone, now they're still just in prices in neighborhoods so much that now...
So the reason I, you know, began by saying like, you know, I love what you do with black Twitter, what you do.
They're mad because it exposes with stunning clarity and sort of clear, like incisive clarity as well.
Just how ridiculous and absurd the idea that people who arrived on the planet millennia after black and brown folk had already been here, that they are the superior one.
It's completely absurd.
Wait, they arrived here?
We arrived here?
We were black, lady.
What are you talking about?
White supremacy is completely absurd racial theory being propagated to us as history.
And that's, you know, by the way, that's kind of, I would have, Jim God always talks about this.
He goes, I would avoid the whole original people thing, we were here first thing, because it also makes you sound like the most primitive.
So I would just skip away from that.
Kids say, you know, no cap, right?
Like, that's the shit is that white supremacy is all cap, big cap all the time.
It's just a complete and total lie.
Yeah, exactly.
That's what I've been saying history.
I'm the same thing.
I'm not even historical about it.
Like, it is totally absurd when you think about, like, you could go through the laws and see.
Damn, it's hard.
How do you feel about black supremacy, you two?
Is that absurd?
Or is that awesome?
There's got to be a clip of that.
Oh, find it, dude.
It's not a flattering picture at all.
It actually is.
It makes her look not so terrible.
Yeah.
She looks kind of cute, like silly.
Yeah, like, hello.
Oh, here we go.
It's not that to being villains in the aggregate, right?
The real sort of issue here, and I've heard people sort of say it, is one I think that white people viscerally fear, it's not that white people don't know, right, what they have done.
They didn't know.
They had to bear the brunt of it, right?
They didn't have the luxury of dealing with the myths and legends.
Yeah, she looks like the mom in the woman in the workforce.
Look at that.
Oh, here we go.
Thought there's a world here and we own it.
Prior to them, black and brown people have been sailing across oceans, interacting with each other for centuries without total subjugation, domination, and colonialism.
Okay, so just stop.
So according to this history professor, well, I think she teaches African American studies, of course, but I'm not sure if she also teaches history.
But in her scheme of events, blacks and indigenous people are just touring all over the world.
That's just false.
There was evidence of, I think, Polynesians, who I guess she's taking over them, making it as far as the Caribbean, I think, like 700 years before us.
There was that Viking, Eric the Leaf, was that his name?
He was here before us.
Then there was the Indians, then we brought the blacks.
What are you talking about?
Leaf Garrett.
Not only is she saying that black and indigenous people were best friends and they had these little Wakanda villages, but they were like peaceful and there was no war.
I mean, it's beyond Marvel comics.
Before we got here, the Indians were slaughtering each other.
Mass graves.
They would shoot with an arrow.
They would shoot their victim so he'd be fucked in the afterlife.
So we found all these skeletons with like 40 arrows in a guy.
That's so they'd kill him in the afterlife.
Not the most logical and advanced society.
You killed him, yeah, but I want to kill him in the afterlife, too.
Oh, okay, then use 17 more arrows.
That'll do it.
Okay, that makes sense.
No, it doesn't.
Oh, there's this dude talking about CRT.
He's redding up a little bit.
That's what critical race theory means.
If it means separating five-year-olds by race and telling some you're oppressors and the others you're the oppressed and giving up on a colorblind society and resegregation and racism is the essence of America, then I'm out.
Right.
That's what critical race theory means.
You even got like the black person, mmm.
Somebody was like, mmm.
That means you're on track.
Hmm.
Good.
I'm glad the other side is going for a change as opposed to the bear the brunt of it.
Okay, now we have to watch it.
I'm sorry for you.
People listen to Satisfaction.
How many times has the song Satisfaction been played in the world?
Probably trillions.
We should be allowed to have greatest hits.
I want to hear the greatest hit.
I want to hear my Mick Jagger.
Yeah, that's.
It's like he's doing a little.
He's like an instrument.
He's a musical instrument.
Look at this one.
And then everyone has to go, mmm.
That's the backup vocals.
To place it all on Donald Trump's shoulders.
It's easy.
He's using people as props.
We didn't have the luxury of using people as props because we had a bit of burrows.
I'm going to touch this man on the arm.
This is us.
It's right after this.
And if we're going to get.
We should memorize this whole thing.
Yes.
We can't blame him.
You know what would be fucking funny?
If I get on a show, I wouldn't want to fuck over like Eric Bowling or someone, but if I get on a show where I don't particularly like the host and I just do that script, that would be so good.
With that and everything.
And just have the host go, what the fuck are you talking about?
Oh my God, you're going to love this part.
He's a manifestation of the ugliness that's in us.
I've had the privilege of growing up in a tradition that didn't believe in the myths and the legends because we had to bear the brunt of them.
Either we're going to change Nicole.
You got this little serious gopher face.
She's like, don't get fired.
Don't get fired.
Don't get fired.
I've had the privilege of growing up in a tradition that didn't believe in the myths and the legends because we had to bear the brunt of them.
Either we're going to change, Nicole.
The myths and the legends are the myth of equality.
There's no such thing as equality.
We can't afford to pretend that because we're the ones who get told, you know, go to the black water fountain and we get kicked in the head and people steal our shit and throw it in the garbage.
And then the Brunt and the Bering.
Wouldn't this be a great shirt?
That's great grammar.
Yeah, I guess.
Would anyone buy that?
I think so.
I'm saying my now, so I separate myself from your shirts.
I see.
The thing about my shirt with Biden is you read it and there's no possible way you could be pro-Biden and be wearing that shirt.
That looks like it would sell at MSNBC.com.
And I f ⁇ I don't know why.
Yeah, it's supposed to be like behind enemy lines.
Right.
It's only for the elites.
Like if you work at a job that you have to like, you're constantly like...
But if you're a baby monster, you don't want to have Taneshi coats on your shirt.
I have a feeling there's a couple of people that have jobs that they have to pretend that they're with it, with the whole this crap.
And they'll be like, wow, I like that shirt.
Where'd you get it?
And they don't tell them that.
It's very inside.
But yeah, I get what you mean.
It's not a proud one.
Well, let's put your money where your mouth is.
We can make a bet.
Okay.
So let's bet $100 that they will, I'm betting $100 they flop.
Okay.
And you're betting $100 they don't flop.
We'll define a flop as our sales guy can give us a list of the top shirts.
Oh, I see.
And if it's anywhere near the middle, I'll let it go.
Gotcha.
But if it's, say this is the middle, if it's down in the bottom like 10%, 5%, you owe me $100.
So, but I'm going against shirts that have been up for months.
No, no, that's factored in.
Okay.
Yeah, I know how math works, Ryan.
I don't worry your pretty little head about that.
We'll talk about their debut, how their debuts fared.
All right, let's get to the mailbag.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dent.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
Lil Stiff.
Lil' Stiff.
That's your new rap name.
Lil Stiff.
Ooh.
Let me tell you about my boxing day.
The rounds are three minutes.
There is a 30-second break between rounds.
I come in, I skip rope for two rounds.
You're supposed to do three.
It takes too long.
The one-up I'm about to tell you takes like 30 minutes.
And for most people, that's their whole workout.
So I do two rounds, not three, of skipping rope.
My legs are turning into Superman's.
Like, if I put my bare leg by you right now, Ryan, and you just ran your fingers down it, you couldn't not come.
Interesting.
Yeah.
Like, it's got all these little nooks and crannies.
I don't want that.
I want to be ripped up here.
So I think I'm making my legs way too sexy.
And it looks funny when I'm in a bathing suit because you have like these Superman legs and then, of course, the Grover upper body.
Somebody asked Jesse Smalley what he does after touching your calves.
Uh-huh.
I come really, really hard.
Gross.
So two rounds of rope, two rounds of shadow.
Rope suck.
Doesn't it burn your calves?
Yes.
You did like four rounds because Larry forgot you were skipping.
So I just kept doing it.
Oh.
That's three, six, nine, twelve minutes of skipping.
And I'm not good at it.
It's tough.
Yeah, it takes months.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Okay.
To do the tuk-a-tuga where you do one foot and dooka-dook.
I got on one foot and then I couldn't switch over to the other foot correctly.
So, two rope, two shadow, two speed bag.
Then I put on my wraps and my gloves.
And on Mondays, I do three water, three hook bag, three double end, three heavy.
And then I go and I do 50 sit-ups and 20 push-ups.
You ever use the boxing gloves?
They just have their community gloves?
Fuck no, dude.
Dude, did you smell your hands?
My wrists smell like balls and feet.
Yeah.
I can't tell what it's like.
Why didn't you wash your hands after?
I washed everything.
It's just like it's still there.
My own wraps smell pretty bad.
But it's your brand.
No, it's great.
This is plenty of other people.
It's not like smelling your own face.
Do you want to smell it?
No, thank you.
You would gag.
Okay, fine.
Yes.
For the monsters, I'll do it.
And I'm kind of hungover, so.
I didn't get anything yet.
That's not bad at all.
It smells like Cheerios.
And that was gay that I rubbed my nose on you.
You just raped me.
Dear genius and retard zipperhead, I wanted to email in and hit harder on what Gavin brought up a few weeks ago that I feel is so bloody important.
JP's benzoaddiction is antithetical to what he preaches, and this needs to be said more.
He's built himself up to be this great monolith of how to correctly orient oneself in the world and then admits that he's basically clinically depressed and addicted to medication.
Yeah, his daughter had a fucked up ankle and his wife had a cancer scare.
So what did he do?
A bunch of opioids.
That's not exactly like...
Cleaning your room.
Not only that, but his first book touches a lot on raising children correctly.
And now your daughter is some pseudo-intellectual bimbo for the right.
When was the last time she had an original thesis or did anything other than appear in a podcast as your daughter?
And where's her kids?
Oh, I think she does have kids, does she?
Is she married?
I don't think so.
She was with that swindler for a while.
Yeah, the pimp.
If you're going to proclaim you know the rules for life, you and your children are the litmus test for theories.
Maybe I'm thinking, no, I think you're right, dude.
It's like these trad Catholic kids, the Fuentes Army, who are like, stop fucking chicks and settle down.
And you're like, yeah, I agree.
What are you waiting for?
Oh, I'm only 25.
I moved out at 18, and that was old.
My dad was like 16 years old.
He's already an independent man.
Hello, my fellow movie vet.
I was wondering if you've ever seen the movie The Siege of Firebase Gloria.
It's one of my favorite Vietnam War movies, and it stars the late, great Arlie Ermery, the drill instructor in full metal jacket.
Who I hear is the real deal.
I like when there's real deal dudes in movies like Polly Walnuts.
The Siege of No, it's in the fucking email.
Penis Slips.
Find it, I can't.
Best Vietnam War movie.
Okay, good.
It arrived at 1.26 p.m. today.
That's the wrong screen.
This is Vietnam.
You understand?
They wrap them up in dynamite and they send them off to the future.
Okay, that's enough.
That's enough.
You get to the point where you decide you want to watch the movie and now you're just ruining it for yourself.
Oh, I thought you were getting PTSD.
No, no, but I might watch that tonight.
Tomorrow, I might be weird.
And don't ask me why I'm weird.
Just accept that it's one of those days where the War vet is living in the past.
I always move slow and make sure not to make any like bap noises.
Yeah.
You'll just see me looking out.
I might just do the show yesterday with just like a glass of bourbon and just be looking out the window the whole show.
And you're like, should we?
And then Ryan will go, and it'll be because I went to Vietnam last night.
And then you'll get drunk, stand by the window, and usually it's raining and you're like, Evan McInnes reporting for duties.
Official army man.
Like you go through, you remember, you're walking through the day that you had to like swear in and stuff.
Why was it the guy swearing me in Asian?
I got that confused with Mr. Miyagi from Karate Kid.
So you made my drill sergeant Chinese?
Well, that was you.
You're like...
Government Kias, reports of duties.
I was on the side of the Viet Gong in Vietnam.
Why am I Asian?
I'm Asian, so I can't help but to not do that.
Except for now.
It's like my buddy who wanted to join the local Legion.
I go, well, you don't have to be in the military.
If your dad was in the military, you can join the Legion.
And he goes, yeah.
My grandfather was, but I don't think they're going to like it.
Why not?
Did he AWOL or something?
No, I'm from Germany.
I was like, oh, yeah, I don't.
I think it's American Army is the deal.
Hey, Gavin, I'm Rice Guy.
Gavin, you mentioned on Compound Censor you're attracted to fat brown Asians.
Look up Pangwachiria on Instagram.
Is she too fat?
Well, she's got penguin in her name.
What the fuck?
That's some other racist.
It's all one word.
Pangwa.
Wait, you should have it.
You have this email.
This is peng.
There we go.
Oh my, that's a chubby chaser.
No, I don't want to see her stove or her trainer.
Well, she's not too fat in that picture, but she's got a corset on.
Keep going.
I don't know if you could be intimidating and fat.
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
Look at the business, the extra wrinkles around the crotch.
That's not acceptable.
And have we got crazy cellulite on the thighs?
Yeah, no.
Sorry.
I'm out.
I know the kind of guys that are into that, and I don't fault them for it.
But no, I just like not skinny.
This is Marlene Ollsmere.
She went out with Diego Anhein's.
What am I going to do?
She tries to kill me.
You can distract her with your magic sheenness.
I'm going to look for evidence.
The lipstick.
What, is this a movie she's in?
Hi, I'm Deuce Bigelow.
Deuce biggest lady I've ever seen.
The Greek rapist from Canada.
Hey, Gavin, big fucking tits and all that.
Regarding Kenny versus Spenny, calling you a racist, it was actually Kenny that says that.
Spenny would actually like to come on your show.
God, you're so dumb.
Yes, I'm aware that it was Kenny who said that.
He was joking.
And Spenny was also joking.
And Kenny vs.
Spenny, I was on it like a hundred years ago for 10 seconds.
And people keep bringing it up.
I love Kenny, and I don't think he thinks I'm a racist.
And that show was very good, but a lot of it was fake, like gluing the hand to the table.
So much of it was set up.
Lots of crazy shit.
I'll probably talk about this tomorrow, but 4-1.
The American government has a civil rights department, I guess, in the White House, and you have to be appointed to the top of it.
So this is 4-1.
So Kristen Clark, click on her name for a second here.
Assistant Attorney General for Civil Rights.
The phenomenon.
Isn't that weird?
Assistant Attorney General for Civil Rights.
Is there an Assistant Attorney General for rape?
Like, what?
Isn't that all attorney generals?
Why is there one just for civil rights?
What are you talking about?
Anyway, so she's suing Proud Boys for the attack on the church.
And who is that?
Just a random list.
There was that list of elders that was leaked.
The elders, first of all, the elders is a joke I made up a million years ago.
And the reason that those guys were on the list as elders is I think it was because they knew more people in that particular area and they could disseminate it better.
It was more like distributors.
But there's no power structure there, you silly cow.
But this is a very powerful woman that is suing all of these proud boys.
And I've talked to them.
They've been served their papers.
Wow.
Who is this?
Is that Groucho Darks?
I like his look, man.
That is pretty tight.
That would be my look if I had a chin.
Hell yeah.
You can get a chin, dude.
I've just started doing these neck exercises and my side profile more defined.
I had kind of a slopey slope thing going on.
If you put your head on the bench and you put a weight on your head and you do this 25 times, like I said, like four sets, you'll get a fucking...
This will go away.
Wow, you're really good at going like this.
Thanks.
Yeah, it...
Damn you, McKinnis.
White face, talented dudes, but is this black privilege?
He asks.
And we look.
Oh, it's the weekend.
What the f?
Yeah, they did an incredible job.
That's cheating, though.
It's black privilege.
So Dave Batista.
Ah!
What is this now?
Impending doom of New York.
Hi, fellas.
I thought I would share the impending destruction of New York City and the east coast of the United States.
The volcano on the island of La Palma, Spain has been erupting for seven weeks.
Here is a video from a few years ago detailing what could happen if a volcanic eruption occurred on the island.
The vast amount of energy pumped into the ocean will create what one scientist has called a mega tsunami.
Tsunami waves racing out in all directions.
Why do I find this exciting computer predictions suggest they could even travel 4,000 miles toward the eastern seaboard of the United States, losing some, but not all of their power along the way.
Okay.
Looks like Breezy Point's not going to be doing well.
From this first ball I'm going to hit is transmitted through all the others to the last one.
Just as energy moves from ball to ball, so the landslide energy advances.
So what happens?
Is it at 312 yet?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It starts.
What'll happen in New York?
No one cares about Florida.
Well, New York would get it even worse.
It's difficult to quantify.
It is going to be a letter, dude.
I'm scared.
Okay, last one.
Gavin Rye, France is not quite lost.
The writer and journalist Eric Zemour, Heralded as the French Trump is entering presidential politics in France and upsetting the political order with a huge groundswell of support.
He's a proud, patriotic figure with a huge wealth of knowledge and embodies the leave us alone attitude of freedom-loving white people.
Oh, sorry.
Freedom-loving people.
Eric Zamour, far-right journalist cast as Macron election rival.
And Gab, if your French is still up to speed, I guarantee this speech is worth watching off air, and we'll give you hope for our cousins across the pond.
Well, it sort of has to correct itself, right?
Eventually, with all of the Muslim crime and immigrant crime that goes on in Paris, especially the north, and the entire cities that have been completely taken over by Muslims.
Surely the locals are going to have to fight back at some point.
I thought there was indication of that happening after what was it called?
Taliban, Zanzibar, Bataklan, where they just went into all the mosques and started arresting people.
And then they discovered that the mosques in Paris, 100% of them had radical propaganda in the front lobby.
Not a disproportionate number.
Not a lot.
100% of them had at least a couple pamphlets talking about jihad.
Okay, I guess we're done.
Let's check out the final video.
We like to talk about the war on kids on this show, and one of the reasons we do that is because children are the future, as Whitney Houston pointed out, but also because we like them.
They're funny and they give us hope.
And when we see them, we see ourselves, not just as individuals, but we see ourselves as we see our society.
And we see a purity there that we love and miss.
And I thought this perfectly sums up the merits of mischief.
I don't want to give it away, but let's play it anyway.
Look at me.
You can have cruise eggs, but you can't have them right now, okay?
You gotta wait.
You gotta wait until mommy and daddy come back.
Okay?
You can't eat these yet.
You gotta wait until we come back.
I'm gonna leave them right here.
Don't touch them.
We know where it's going, right?
We gotta come back.
Don't eat them yet.
Don't eat them.
We'll be right back.
We just gotta go get something.
Just wait a second.
Can't touch him, huh?
What do you think?
Let's fucking do it.
He's already dancing.
He just starts dancing before he even does the crime.
I'm gonna have fucking two.
Actually, I'm gonna stuff a third one in there.
There's no room.
It's fun to be bad.
That's another good reason to get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
Or leave it relaxed, or you'll get sacked.
Tell me what's in the back of the door.
Get your bread.
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