Knowledge Fight Interactive Search Tool

All Episodes

Previous Next

Oct. 19, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:30:25

S04E44 - THE BEAST

Large

Audio Only |

Scroll

Time	Text
	Welcome to the ASMR episode.
	ASMR AMSR.
	ASMR.
	ASMR episode of Get Up.
	That was Anderson Council.
	And they're a 60s band from now.
	They're around.
	They're started in 1999.
	Little Steven, I think, signed them to his Underground Garage label.
	Very groovy band.
	Very fun.
	Play Sitting on a Cloud.
	That's their other big hit.
	Sitting on the Cloud.
	They are.
	It's got that doo-doo drum thing.
	I mean, it's weird when you're not of that era.
	Is this a joke band?
	I hate joke music, right?
	But this could be a Mr. Show sketch, or it could be Ween doing their 60s album.
	Although their country album was meant to be taken seriously.
	But if you're doing 60s music in the 2000s, is it a joke?
	I don't know.
	I had that problem with the darkness, too.
	Remember them?
	Yeah, that's a great example.
	But I don't know.
	It feels genuine.
	They get really mad when you bring that up, too.
	Oh, really?
	All these bands.
	Like, remember that Jewish comedian who's a country singer and he has songs like Dump Your Titties Out and all that?
	Yes, Wheeler Walker Jr.
	Yeah, he gets real pissed.
	Ben Hoffman.
	When you call him a joke.
	Or Jew.
	I don't think he minds Jew.
	His show was great.
	And then, yeah, he just did that.
	But then our new philosophy with life is just enjoy it.
	So when you're wondering if a guy's kidding or not, is this a joke?
	Doesn't matter.
	It's equally enjoyable.
	Who cares what their motive is?
	Our whole problem with the concept of hate crimes is you got in a fight with that gay dude and you said, faggot, you hate him.
	Now you're getting in my head.
	I just got in a fight with a dude who's gay.
	It's none of your business what I was thinking.
	This is my private space.
	I'm allowed to put things in here that you can't touch.
	Great example.
	I'm always getting copper cab.
	Just enjoy it.
	Just enjoy it.
	I don't fucking know.
	Well, we're going to talk about a robot in a second.
	I mean, we could jump to it now.
	But there's this COVID robot.
	It's way over in the COVID section.
	I had to do some research to see if this was real.
	It's real.
	Go to 6'2.
	This is real.
	This is not getting along with.
	This is so real.
	It's not getting along with Palestinians.
	This is real.
	Sophia's sister.
	Sophia, the celebrity humanoid robot, that is.
	This is a scam.
	Okay, Sophia is a scam.
	A bunch of nerds in Hong Kong made this shitty robot that is the queen of the uncanny valley.
	And it's probably 250 grand to buy.
	Maybe 180.
	They say luxury car prices.
	Is that a Ferrari?
	I don't know what you mean.
	Let's say a luxury car is $120.
	No one wants $120,000 fucking Barbie doll that has facial expressions.
	And they pretend that they can ask her questions.
	It's all pre-programmed.
	It's not AI.
	It will never be a person.
	This will never be a thing.
	It was always the topic of the day on Red Eye, and I fucking hated it.
	Because even the stupid, shitty robots like the Roombas that clean the floor don't clean the floor.
	They spend eight hours to do what would take you eight minutes.
	So even those robots that don't look cool, just a frisbee on the ground, even they suck.
	But the humanoids?
	So this chick is Sophia's sister.
	And in this, I think it might be this video.
	I watched a few of them today.
	They say that they will be a lot cheaper once we start producing them in the hundreds of thousands.
	That's the scam.
	The guys involved with this, the white American guys involved with this, are divorced dads, drunk drivers.
	They are those scammy guys.
	I never see your dad.
	Are you calling your dad on Father's Day?
	No, he's not around.
	What's he do anyway?
	What's his job?
	Oh, he's always got some cockamami scheme.
	Now he's working with like these robots in Hong Kong.
	That sounds cool.
	You mean like in a factory that put on bottle caps?
	No, no, like fucking human faces.
	And they're going to be like in every household.
	He says, if we can get an order of, I think, 400,000, then they only cost $10,000 each.
	And I'm like, what?
	No, there's no way 400,000 people are going to want to spend 10 grand on a fucking stupid, hello, here's a coffee spill.
	Plus, there's humans available.
	Always will be, dirt cheap.
	You know how much I pay Ryan?
	$4 a day.
	For only $4 a day.
	You can have Puerto Rican retard in your office.
	Yeah, buy a retard.
	So, wait, her name is Grace, right?
	That's not the video I wanted, but we'll watch That for a bit.
	I am Grace.
	Oh, that's good.
	Look at the desk.
	This is why I was positive it was a CGI prank.
	But that's really there.
	Look up Grace Nurse Robot in videos, and you'll get a better one that has even freakier shit on the table.
	And she's dirty.
	Like the drunk dads, they show up hungover in Hong Kong.
	Yeah, go to the second video there.
	You are 36.6 degrees Celsius, by the way.
	No risk of COVID.
	Wait, that's the one we were just watching, isn't it?
	Seems to be chopped different.
	Look at that!
	Look at the desk.
	There's an Einstein.
	I don't know if that's his hair or a helmet.
	And then just like dying bodies.
	Help!
	Help me!
	I'm in hell!
	That's what hell looks like.
	So they have hell in the background.
	Oh, I guess that's also Einstein in the background.
	What's with his fucking hair?
	He wasn't in a metal band.
	I saw this in Goosebumps once.
	What?
	Actually, that's scarier.
	Yeah, that is scary.
	That's a Geico ad, where he goes to the attic and there's all these broken mannequins.
	And the lizard and the guy who just bought the house are going, no thanks, no thanks.
	We here in the West are aware when things are creepy, but in the East, they have no soul, no love, no heart.
	So what do they get?
	They get zero quality control, zero concept of creepy.
	How could you not realize that you have the worst backdrop imaginable to sell your product?
	And by the way, Sophia's seen better days.
	She's not looking great either.
	What happened to her fucking arms?
	So anyway, play this through because you got to see Grace's filthy arms.
	What's a great band name?
	Hanson Robotics.
	Grace's filthy arms.
	Thank you, Sophia.
	Hello, everybody.
	I am Grace.
	I am rid by Hansen Robotics for Awakening Health.
	Because COVID is Ebola, and no one can be remotely near them.
	They'll all die.
	I saw a kid riding his bike this morning in the suburbs of Westchester, which is being inundated with illegals.
	He's riding his bike with his mask on.
	The odds of him getting hit by a car and dying are thousands of times higher than dying of COVID.
	I think there is a 0.00007% chance that someone under 18 will die of COVID.
	And that's the fatties messing up the stats.
	I'm sure when you take a kind of healthy kid who rides a bike, it's even less.
	But anyway, keep going back to Grace.
	She might have, this could have been a green screen.
	I can visit with people and brighten their day with social stimulation.
	These monsters stop.
	What were you doing?
	Sorting newspapers all day?
	Look at her fucking hands.
	First of all, look at her skin tone.
	That's disturbing.
	It's like some weird burn victim or she just got out of the Arctic after getting gangrene.
	But she's absolutely filthy.
	We're doing a commercial here.
	We're trying to get these things mass-produced, which will never happen.
	But can't one of these drunk dads, these American losers who flew over there to pitch this shit, can't they just get a Clorox bleach wipe and get the black ink off her?
	Even Einstein's like, dude, dude, what's with your hands?
	You're jerking off a coal miner?
	Okay, continue.
	But also can do talk therapy, take bioreadings, and help healthcare providers assess their health.
	I couldn't believe this is real.
	Oh, good.
	She speaks Cantonese.
	So the poor peasant farmers of Cambodia can understand her.
	A human-like appearance facilitates trust and facilitates.
	CEO and founder.
	But it's in Hong Kong.
	Like, who this guy is the ultimate scam artist.
	If I can just get the government to give me a contract for $500,000.
	Imagine how many investors have fallen for this bullshit.
	Hey, Hansen, your business model is impossible.
	Or sad.
	Oh, yes.
	Reaction a little sad if I feel pain.
	And then maybe, like, imagine a big loud noise happens.
	Bam!
	So, so.
	So I guess what the AI does is when you say sad, she goes sad.
	When you say bang, she goes, ooh.
	It's got little voice recognition.
	So I think it's also such socially isolated individuals during COVID with a lot of mental thoughts and mental states.
	If they have to keep them in the middle of mental states.
	I think certainly it has a positive impact in the society.
	Yeah, please give us money to waste on the stupidest thing in the world.
	A beta version.
	This is my favorite drunk part.
	He goes, we can mass produce these on a small scale.
	What?
	You mean not mass produce?
	Oh, they don't include it.
	Anyway, the reason I brought that up was to say, who cares what the motive is?
	Who cares if that's a funny video?
	I don't care if it's real or fake.
	It's a funny joke.
	Enjoy yourself.
	And once you do that, I got to hand it to Derek Beckles of TV Carnage Phase fame.
	He taught me to enjoy garbage.
	And now, like, I can watch Blackness or, you know, Chicago Law PD or one of these stupid Crime shows, and it's fun.
	Any movie I can love.
	The worse, the better.
	The Equalizer.
	That's my favorite show.
	Medea is good.
	Medea is great.
	So, anyway, back to the opening band, Anderson Council.
	They're named after the same thing Pink Floyd was named after.
	Don't look up the band Anderson Council, though, Ryan, because they're not hot.
	And it will ruin the band for you.
	So let's just stick with this.
	And you enjoy the music of Anderson Council, but don't look at them or you'll puke.
	The story of Pink Anderson and Floyd Council, the duo who inspired Pink Floyd's name.
	So this guy, the ugly guy, did the same thing, but he did Anderson Council.
	Get it?
	Then I kind of went into a vortex thinking about Pink Floyd and Sid Barrett.
	And they say he fried his brain on LSD.
	And his brain did get fried around that time when he was doing it.
	His dad died when he was about 16.
	And then 17, 18, he was doing LSD.
	And he was in the band.
	And they kicked him out.
	And I think a lot of people think, oh, Pink Floyd are dicks.
	They kicked him out.
	Well, dude, he was fucking nuts.
	He lived with his mommy.
	And he would wake up every morning and paint his garbage can a different color for the day.
	Wednesdays is pink.
	Thursdays is blue.
	Tuesdays, orange.
	And you can tell by his music.
	What's one for?
	Yeah, I think a lot of people go, Pink Floyd made all these cool psychedelic songs and they were all the genius of Sid Barrett.
	And then they kicked him out and got rich.
	No.
	All of their hits are after him.
	And he was a fucking lunatic.
	And I think what happened was, and you hear about this a lot, schizophrenia is sort of sitting in you like a larvae or an egg is a better analogy.
	And heavy drugs can crack the egg and the schizophrenia gets out.
	So a lot of us young men are ticking time bombs.
	And maybe sometimes it never comes out.
	But it's not just LSD that can crack the egg.
	It's a fish fight.
	You'll hear about a kid who's perfectly normal.
	He gets into a fight and then he's a schizophrenic.
	And they go, wow, he must have got punched hard.
	No, it was as fragile as an egg.
	He's waiting for a dead dad, LSD, a fight, a car accident, near-death experience.
	And I think that's what happened to Sid.
	Because he wrote shit like Bike.
	Remember Bike?
	1-5?
	Everything if you want things.
	This is the Love on the Spectrum theme song.
	Oh my god, this is very big.
	Daniel Wakefield.
	Well, really, though.
	Have you never heard this song?
	No.
	Oh, it's a big hit.
	I think he has a mouse.
	It's as big as a house, and its name is Gerald in this song.
	Good name for a giant mouse.
	Oh, there we go.
	He doesn't have a house.
	I forgot.
	Let's look at the shops right now.
	He's great.
	Just so cool.
	I want to convince him that he's gay, marry him.
	Oh, wow.
	And then convince him that gays since AIDS stopped having sex or kissing or any kind of cuddling.
	Oh, smart.
	Because it's dangerous.
	So we're just married, but no affection, okay?
	Okay.
	That is what we will do.
	You are my husband.
	Okay, great.
	And I love you much.
	Okay.
	Now do all your cool mental shit.
	I want to watch.
	Don't touch my dick.
	Oh, also, gays sometimes will go out and fuck chicks.
	But not you.
	You can too.
	I don't give a shit.
	I just want you around.
	Dude, your fucking display behind you looks so stupid and gay and boring.
	Pan up.
	Look at how Ryan displays shirts.
	You're a mental patient.
	I like to display shirts that are just so cool.
	No one displays shirts like that.
	Like, put them at the base, the bottom, and let them hang down.
	Like, what's the wrinkle with the shelf?
	It's aesthetically painful to watch.
	I got my web.
	Ugh, your web's retarded, too.
	It's just a disgusting mess.
	Your set behind you kind of looks like your brain.
	A disgusting mess.
	Interesting theory.
	I feel bad today because you know that little bodega plugin down the street?
	Yeah?
	I kind of like, I've been acquaintances with the guy who is at the register for a while, but today I like asked him something.
	I was like, how's your supply doing?
	I heard the supply chains all messed up.
	He's like, oh, it's very bad.
	Like, 40% of 100 is what we have.
	I was like, wait, wait.
	Why are you doing an Indian accent?
	They're Hispanics.
	The other one, the gas station bodega one.
	It's like there's a little bodega inside, gas station outside.
	Indian guy.
	Oh, you mean way up?
	You go there?
	I go there.
	Well, I, I, yeah.
	You get food at a gas station?
	They got good coffee.
	Oh, okay.
	So.
	And what kind of food is that?
	I feel bad.
	Um, well, I got Twinkies.
	Because I had breakfast at home.
	So they don't have food there.
	We could eat Twinkies?
	So it's a gas station.
	A normal gas station.
	Sure, sure.
	But they have, you know, they got some baked goods.
	But anyway, I feel like I made friends with the guy.
	So now I have a gas station friend.
	Yep.
	And as soon as I'm talking to him, guys walk in, burst the door open, just like, ha ha, nigga, nigga, nigga.
	and they're going to give him a hard time.
	And like, he has to deal with just mean people all day.
	So now I feel bad that I left my friend in this shitty position.
	So we're talking for what?
	This is the first conversation this guy has.
	His friend is in the South Bronx, right?
	Yes.
	He is in paradise.
	He comes from Chipotnahe in Chotito.
	Okay, well.
	He comes from a place where they have to have commercials on TV to tell people to stop shitting in the street.
	There's human feces everywhere.
	He looks around and he's like, nobody's seen that commercial around here.
	It melts.
	Then it rains.
	Then you're walking down maybe like Tutti Boulevard off of Chahantahat.
	Right?
	Right by Pierilarki Street.
	And a Chuti drives by and sprays diarrhea all over you.
	My lord.
	Like if we got off a plane, opened the window and said hi, we'd both have explosive diarrhea.
	That's terrible.
	Like they talk about germ warfare and how Columbus brought all those diseases to the Caribbean.
	Yeah, they are diseases.
	Like we couldn't live there.
	We couldn't spend a week there.
	They're bringing diseases around from Tuti Street to Kabaharnashna Street.
	Yes.
	Oh man.
	The only way we could live or even visit India would be to be on rascals where the seat was a toilet.
	Constantly conditioning spices.
	That's shit.
	And then you'd have to have an IV drip of that shit that pediolite.
	You'd have to have a pediolite IV drip on your rascal as you shat out the base.
	So you're just constantly ingesting and pooping at the same time.
	Yeah, so this guy comes to a place where there's some African-American gentlemen and some rude Puerto Ricans, an odd Dominican, who tell him to go fuck himself.
	Great.
	That's not diarrhea in my face.
	All right.
	Well, now I feel better about it.
	I don't tip immigrants.
	I go, you got a tip.
	It's called America.
	You're welcome.
	Bye.
	So he's fine.
	Yes.
	Did you hear about this front page of the post today?
	I should have brought it in.
	They're coming to Westchester Airport, where I live.
	And in the dead of night, Biden is dropping off tons of illegals.
	And the liberal housewives love it.
	They're like, good, finally.
	I'm happy to employ them.
	They can mow my lawn.
	Biden's secret flights, unaccompanied migrant kids land in Westchester in dead of night.
	I had guys telling me that they saw this with their own eyes because they work at the Westchester airport, which is a tiny airport.
	And they're just flooding them.
	You know what?
	Good.
	I'm out of here soon.
	This is Westchester's all blue.
	Okay.
	You want to see what it's like to have your kid's bike stolen?
	Bring them in.
	I have a buddy who grew up in Queens, and his dad used to always say to him, his dad was a cop.
	He'd say, you know what you're getting for Christmas?
	No, you know what the Puerto Ricans down the street are getting for Christmas?
	Your bike.
	Oh, shit.
	You're in the wrong fucking city, you fucking scumbag.
	That's my welcoming committee at the Westchester Airport.
	You got to have the fag part.
	That's the funniest part.
	Not fucking good, you fucking rat, scumbag, fucking fag.
	That word might be the funniest word in the world.
	Fag?
	Fag.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Did you know that the people you call if your sewer is backed up in the Bronx is sewers?
	Sue is.
	S-U-E-Z.
	Sue is.
	So it's pronounced the way Bronx people pronounce sewers.
	Oh, the sewers are blocked up.
	You should call sewers.
	That's confusing.
	Is that on purpose?
	Because that's funny.
	Sue is.
	Who cares?
	Again, who cares what the motive is?
	I'm amused.
	That's all that matters.
	I want you to be as amused as possible.
	So don't start going, is that real?
	Like that robot.
	Enjoy your dirty arm.
	If someone CGI'd some of the freaks in the background, okay, they did.
	I'm sure there are times when you need to know if it's real or not.
	Like yesterday with Joe Biden's face, and he's like, fewer democracies.
	Fewer!
	They had fucked up with his face, fucked up his face a little bit.
	So there you kind of want to know because you want to know if your president's becoming deformed.
	But in 99% of cases, just fucking have a laugh.
	Just having a laugh.
	Speaking of fags, I had one of the biggest LOLs of my life this morning.
	My YouTube algorithm sends me sopranos because I've sinned and I've watched too many clips.
	And now when you look at my YouTube page, I wish you could undo some of the algorithms.
	Yeah.
	Like if I researched pedophilia for a day, I'm sure my YouTube would be all like kids in the bath.
	And I'm like, I don't want that.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	This computer is ruined.
	I mean, yeah.
	Oh, you remember you did that gay gay porn thing?
	So we have a weird koala bear?
	No, I'm not a weird koala bear, but I don't know.
	I have to work on more of his things that he says.
	I had drinks with him yesterday.
	I know, I saw that.
	And he posted a picture of it on social media.
	I did?
	No, he did.
	Oh, phew.
	Ergo, his face is okay to be on the internet next to yours.
	So I don't understand this whole thing.
	It was surprisingly intellectual.
	And we even had a debate about atheism where he fucking nailed me in the guts.
	You can't win a faith versus no.
	No, I just made a stupid mistake.
	Oh.
	And he caught it.
	It was like boxing.
	I left myself open and he got me with a rib shot and cracked my ribs.
	But I was like, dude, we're having a very interesting conversation.
	If this was recorded, it would be a hit for both of us.
	And I love all the shows on censored, but if you look at the stats, it's me, AIU, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing, all the other shows.
	I don't mean any disrespect to the other shows.
	It's just the way the math of it is.
	So like, we're the hot tamales.
	So let's take advantage of that and try to get subscriptions up.
	But he's like, no, I respect my privacy.
	Well, I don't want to see your dick.
	I kind of do.
	Really?
	That'd be interesting.
	You want to see his dick.
	He's tall.
	He's probably like 6'2 ⁇ .
	So I assume his dick is like big-sized.
	Oh, I don't care about the size.
	It's interesting to see a guy's dick.
	It's a joke.
	But no, the gay porn thing.
	So we have a guy who could remotely come in here and do some like high-tech nerd shit.
	And it was his first day.
	I saw him messing around with the mouse.
	So I just took control of it and then typed in gay porn.
	But by then, he had left.
	And I was texting him.
	I was like, no, no, log back in.
	He's like, no, I just want to see if it works.
	I was like, no, you're going to want to log back in and just kind of check it out.
	And I left on gay porn.
	And then you came back thinking you caught me watching gay porn.
	Who just types in gay porn?
	Not a gay guy.
	Wow, you sound really defensive.
	No, I. And you're bringing it up out of the blue.
	But no, I was saying, I was coming up with these cockamame theories where an atheist argument for God, where I was saying, just call it nature.
	And I was saying, maybe this is heaven.
	Maybe we died when we were born.
	And I go, and maybe hell is the ostracization you feel or you experience when you sin, when you do something wrong, like when you kill someone.
	You're not part of society anymore.
	You're not having babies.
	No one wants to marry you.
	You're a murderer.
	And then he goes, all murderers have kids.
	Go check in on any prison.
	And I was like, okay, so that part I got to take back to the drawing board.
	That one is a cracked rib.
	But then I also got him when I go, I won't say he obviously values his privacy.
	I won't get into details about his personal life, but it's imperfect.
	He has some problems, as we all do.
	But I pointed out that his problems, both of them, both of the major ones, I think, come from rejecting traditionalism and God and, you know, the patriarchy.
	And if you had followed that tradition, then you wouldn't have these problems.
	So, you know, you're telling me about how great atheism is and it seems to be fucking you over.
	It's funny.
	Same thing with Paul Bazile.
	I'm like, everything, the society that you enjoy is because of Christianity and because of God and people's, you know, praise of God and belief and faith.
	And so what you're doing is almost like you're a wallflower at a dance and you're on the sidelines that you're enjoying the dance.
	You're not participating in it, but the whole reason it exists is because of God.
	So it's kind of like you're not leeching off of the system that God created, but you benefit from it.
	Yeah, and you're ending it.
	Like if you're not married and you don't have a kid, you're the last.
	And that must feel pretty bad to have run from saber-toothed tigers.
	You know, you survived the bubonic plague, all of these conquests, the crusades.
	We go through the Siberian winters.
	We come from Africa, get up, go over the Bering Strait, whatever it is, make it to North America.
	You know, slavery, civil war.
	You're finally here after all that shit.
	And there's no wars, really.
	I mean, there's Afghanistan and Iraq, sort of.
	Afghanistan's done, I guess.
	So there's like one war going on.
	And you're like, we're done.
	I can feel a thousand cavemen and people just wearing those rags, like more gruel, like those paupers with those little stupid leather shoes, like in the shame, shame, shame days.
	And they're sort of going, shame, shame.
	Like, what have you done, dude?
	I busted my ass to get you into this paradise you're in.
	Oh, it's no paradise.
	America was never great.
	The climate, climate change.
	We're all going to die.
	It's unethical to bring kids into this world, into a climate change world.
	God damn it.
	What a dumb, embarrassing, brainwash thing to say.
	So I got the picture here.
	Just doing a finishing touch.
	What picture?
	That he posted?
	And he put a funny thing there, too.
	So I put the kangaroo face on, but here's the big reveal.
	He posted this.
	Okay?
	There's his face.
	Yep.
	This is what he said.
	Met up with Gavin McGinnis tonight.
	Don't spell my name right.
	Drinks were consumed.
	Laughter occurred.
	Bathrooms were visited by him more than me at censored.tv.
	Oh, we just got to get that fucking dig in, Daniel.
	Yeah.
	Look how rich I am.
	I got $120.
	Is that Keynes?
	No, that's the Oyster Bar in Grand Central.
	Oh, hell yeah.
	They're open again?
	Yep.
	Righteous.
	He asked to see my vaccine card.
	What'd you do?
	I showed it to him.
	Oh, so back to Faggotry.
	Anyway, it was an alarmingly pleasant conversation.
	He's a very intelligent individual.
	But it was kind of done like a podcast interview in many ways.
	It would have been great to have on fucking video.
	But anyway, this made me LOL.
	And I LOL once a year, like a real one.
	And I was alone in the studio.
	Of course, Ryan's always late.
	And I was, like, I'm sure the people in the next room were annoyed.
	Anyway, play it.
	You can go.
	Tell you one thing.
	You know, when to me, this kid was spreading rumors about, he'd have something up his own ass.
	And it wouldn't be no cock either.
	That's the point, though.
	This guy's now.
	I know him.
	See, this is when they discovered that Beato was gay.
	Yeah.
	He'd have something up his own ass.
	He wouldn't be no cock.
	You know what one of my MAGA dad baseball guys told me?
	He goes, yeah, they got Lil Steven on the show because the actors were so bad that they needed more viewers.
	So they thought, oh, Bruce Bringstein fans will watch if we have Lil Steven play, what does it sell?
	Sylv.
	Silve.
	And I go, what?
	And he goes, like, Paulie, like, that guy's an actual mobster.
	That's why he was so bad at acting.
	What?
	Well.
	Pauli is, I don't even know how to express the joy I feel every time he comes on the screen.
	It ascends acting and TV.
	You know, when it's hot and you're parched and you're hungover and you finally get a cold Gatorade and you're like, and you're going, I'm about to kill this.
	I hope no one wants any.
	That's what it feels like drinking Gatorade on a hot day after a brutal thirst, after a workout.
	He's so satisfying.
	You ever see this interview of him?
	Amazing.
	It's from some documentary, and then his segment was titled The Gangster.
	So this is him as just a dude in 1989.
	But you were Italian, were you fighting against Italians?
	We were fighting Irish and blacks.
	Oh, that's black.
	I can tell by the bracks.
	He talks about falling in love with this girl and he went to jail for her and everything.
	Did he hide his face?
	Is he supposed to be hidden?
	No.
	Oh, well, why is it so badly lit then?
	That's just the production.
	Bomb robberies.
	Taking off bookmakers.
	That was a crazy kid.
	I did time at Sing Sing, Auburn, Walkill.
	I did time all over.
	Which was the least pleasant?
	None of them are real special.
	Dude, the guy is such a fucking G. What a fucking great guy.
	Speaking of great dudes, check out this dude's Halloween display.
	Neighbors are mad at him.
	What are you mad about?
	It scares the kids?
	Yeah.
	That's the goal of Halloween.
	If kids aren't scared, you failed.
	Remember when we were scaring kids and we were werewolves?
	And Brian takes off his werewolf mask and he goes, we got to reboot here.
	This is not working.
	Obviously, they know we're not werewolves.
	Right, yeah, yeah.
	So we're not scaring anyone here.
	And that's when we realized we learned through trial and error that the only way to scare kids is the classic jump scare.
	Oh, man.
	And I've told you this before.
	We discussed this and we'll be doing it this Halloween.
	But what really slams, what really slaps is I wear a yellow sweater vest with a shirt buttoned up all the way and I have a little bit of rouge on my cheeks.
	I don't know if I have glasses on.
	I think I do.
	And I have white slacks on and I go, hi, how are you?
	Come on in.
	And then they're getting candy and they're totally sketched out.
	And then Ryan jumps out of a box and goes, ah, and then I scream too.
	So when you go, ah, I go, oh my God.
	So now they think the host isn't part of this.
	That's a good one.
	And then I have a code word with Ryan.
	I go, thank you for coming.
	Yep.
	Thanks for calling.
	I almost just yelled and screamed and jumped out as you said that.
	It's almost like a Manchurian carrot knocked over.
	Yeah, it's like Pavlov.
	So I don't have, I requested to follow, but he was a private guy.
	Oh.
	Is this not it?
	No, no, no.
	This is a guy.
	It might be.
	I have no problem with the talking pumpkins.
	Turn them off at 11.
	Maybe 9 kids are going to bed.
	It upsets my husband because our bedroom is right outside their driveway.
	Wow, they really invited the noose crew inside, huh?
	Whenever I see those huge Halloween displays, I just think, that's just money.
	You know what I mean?
	You just bought a bunch of shit.
	And now you've got to store it all year.
	The cost of storing it probably overtakes the price of the thing, right?
	Like it's probably a storage unit that is as big as your office there is 200 bucks a month.
	So for a year, we're up to two grand.
	Is it two grand worth of stuff?
	Probably about the same.
	But no, the guy I'm talking about, he's got a wood chipper with body parts in it, and it's shooting blood over the pathway to get to the house and into a pit that recycles.
	It's a fountain.
	That's fucking awesome.
	And then there's blood everywhere and dead bodies with knives in them and stuff.
	Yeah, that's him.
	Sick.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Now that we've got the new Ethernet cable, things should be moving along.
	I thought you quit Brave.
	Yeah, the thing is I can't get it to automatically open in Brave, so I'm just going to go back to Brave for a little bit.
	Yeah, that's him.
	Yeah, that's the one I was talking about.
	Jeez.
	That's the wood chipper.
	That shoots out blood.
	I know, he's awesome.
	I love that people are mad at him.
	What are you mad about?
	I need a video.
	There it is.
	I wish there was a video.
	How do the kids get to the front?
	How are you supposed to trick or treat there?
	I have a weird theory.
	It doesn't apply to this guy.
	This guy's just funny.
	But I've noticed, like, in really liberal areas, they go absolutely nuts on Halloween starting October 1st.
	Now, Halloween is great for kids, but if adults are in it, it's usually because they're partiers and the wives dress sexy and he fucks her in the bathroom at someone else's house.
	I think it might be kind of anti-Christian.
	Like, they know evangelicals are freaked out about it, like the dummies we showed last week who want a principal canceled because she went like this at an Iron Maiden concert.
	So they think that's the typical Christian.
	So they're trying, it's like a fuck you to Christianity.
	Because I guarantee you, those same houses are not spruced up December 1st for Christmas.
	Well, isn't the original conservative like the one that would kind of not like nasty speech and blood and guts?
	Old school conservatives were kind of the boring shake their finger at you people.
	Now not so much.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I have to admit, I go crazy during Christmas.
	I spend about 500 bucks on wreaths and shit.
	Our wreath is as big, it's six feet tall.
	You named it our wreath of Franklin, which I thought was cool because you demand people respect it.
	Yeah.
	And I have to admit, I am kind of doing that for Christmas spirit, for the jingle tingles.
	But there's also part of me that's like, you got a problem with this, bitch?
	Right.
	So everything's political in 2021.
	Even your fucking monsters.
	Oh, there we go.
	Wow, that is a.
	I thought kids, when I had kids, they'd be more excited about Halloween and what I came up with.
	But they are 0% interested in what you think they should be for Halloween.
	They know what they want to be.
	Oh, fuck, I hate this shit.
	I don't know what I want to be.
	I'm kind of sad that I don't know.
	Well, you'll be busy in a box in my house.
	That's true.
	Yeah, I can't wear a thing.
	And all we have to do with you is paint your face white because you're such a weird race that people looking at it in a strange presentation, like covered in white, it just scares the shit out of people.
	That's what I used to do.
	When I would scare kids when it was my job, I would just make my face white.
	Oh, that looks cool.
	Wow.
	And then make my mustache black, everything white.
	Then I'd wear latex gloves inside out.
	You don't have to be scary.
	You just have to be weird.
	Turn it up.
	There's a submersible pump in there that pushes water through this line.
	There's also a feed line that replenishes some water when I need it.
	Obviously the electricity.
	The mine is hidden under there.
	Under there.
	Into the fountain head.
	And yes, I am working on fine-tuning this thing and painting it red.
	I am working on fine-tuning this thing and painting it red.
	I know what you're thinking.
	Yeah, like we were like, oh, it kind of sucks that the nozzles aren't red.
	How half-assed can you get?
	It rules.
	This is going around.
	One thing I talked with Devin about was how everything, all this complaining about I'm black and everyone hates me and my life sucks.
	That's our life.
	If anyone can complain about adversity and confrontation and being blocked everywhere they go and having their families, I am in, and I've said this before, I'm in a mixed race marriage in the 50s.
	I'm black and my wife is white.
	Like, that's the treatment we get in our neighborhood.
	And I'm banned from the banks.
	I can't do banking.
	I've been canceled from all social media.
	I'm not invited to the conversation.
	Yet we thrive.
	And Devin's the same way.
	He's been banned from everything, ostracized, ousted, and he's making tons of money because we work hard against the odds.
	And then when bleeps and other groups are complaining about how hard it is for them, the opposite is true.
	There's a red carpet.
	If you're a black accountant, you're the Beatles.
	You're running down the street with mobs of employers chasing you, screaming, and it smells like urine because they're so excited they piss themselves.
	But the complaining never sees.
	And that's another ironic thing, too, is that Devin and I never complain about it.
	Like you don't have us sitting here going, we're going to sue Twitter.
	This is fucked up.
	I need to get back on Facebook.
	One more chance, Instagram.
	Hey, PayPal, please.
	We just go, fuck you, bitch, and move on.
	But then you have these whiners.
	Look at this silly cow.
	Now, I know you're new to the whole enjoy everything, who cares?
	So I'll give you a courtesy.
	I did look this up.
	It is real.
	But we shouldn't have to look it up anymore.
	You know my favorite thing?
	Her logo is a right hand.
	That fist.
	Yes.
	Left-handed power.
	Oops, it's the right hand.
	But zoom in on that.
	It's really hard to be her.
	You know, I think a valid prejudice is uglyism.
	They get less jobs.
	They're less wanted.
	And she's clearly ugly.
	She's made herself much uglier.
	I think her presentation should be about uglyism.
	What it's like to be a four.
	But no, she's focused on this.
	It's easier.
	Makes life easier.
	I'm not sure she understands how semicolons work.
	Sense of belonging.
	To fit in.
	I mean, this woman's just an imbecile.
	Why would you add a semicolon and then to fit in?
	What's the matter with sense of belonging?
	The world is organized for right-handers.
	Not sure why right gets a capital R. More access.
	Yeah, that was covered in the world is organized.
	More opportunity.
	No, you've already covered that.
	More advantage.
	This is not a list.
	It should be a smart privilege.
	I don't know how to do point form notes, so the world is stacked.
	The odds are stacked against me.
	Look at her fucking hideous hair.
	Looks like a comma.
	That's why she likes semicolons so much.
	She is one.
	Speaking of that sneeze you just did, do you see this?
	You made the 2021 year of the sneeze.
	I did not know this.
	This is one of my favorite subjects.
	Me.
	Were people just walking at the rivers?
	Hold on, I want to get COVID.
	Don't hold it in, Berg.
	Let it out.
	You could see the particles come out of your mouth.
	That's the funniest part of the week for me.
	I'm the biggest sneezer.
	You're the best.
	No one sneezes more.
	There's one by Chrissy Mayer.
	Oh, my God.
	No one sneezes more particles.
	No, skip to ours.
	Gino invented that headband thing.
	Yeah.
	Oh, my God.
	Jesus, I'm spitting everything.
	And this is an anomaly.
	Whatever you did here.
	I still can't figure it out.
	This counts as a sneeze.
	What did we just watch?
	I'm having some kind of a sinus breakdown.
	Was that a yawn or a say wherever the whole audience was waiting for a sneeze?
	And then you yawned.
	It was both.
	It was the sneeze that got killed by a yawn.
	All my instincts in my face are going sideways.
	I haven't seen anything like that before.
	What is this?
	I can't believe that counted.
	It was the most amusing one.
	It's true.
	Who is that that you follow?
	Who put that together?
	I want to do a sneeze cop.
	Yeah, it is great.
	And that one would, you just sneezed before, so another entry.
	I don't know the name of that gentleman.
	Let's see here.
	Dude, your internet's not going very fast.
	Damian Rogers.
	God bless him.
	2021, the year of the sneeze.
	Proud Boys.
	Let's do the Proud Boys thingamadoodle.
	Don't start fights.
	They finished out of your boy.
	I'll make you proud of your boys.
	Proud boys, stand back and stand by.
	I went to this thing on Long Island, a Proud Boys meetup.
	By the way, why don't you go to Proud Boys meetups?
	Pregnant wife and all that.
	Our Saturdays are, we really try to stick together and make the most of the meeting.
	No, but I haven't seen you go to one in years.
	Well, the New York one is kind of defunct.
	I mean, I actually have hung out with the guys pretty recently.
	We went to the meeting.
	You go to all the parties, but West Fets.
	It was a meetup.
	But you don't go to meetups.
	It was at the Jimmy Buffett Margaritaville.
	There was everybody you could name in the New York place.
	And then even before that, we went karaoke.
	Then we had a dinner together.
	Even before that.
	Okay.
	Not too long ago.
	So it was on Long Island.
	There was guys there from all over Hudson Valley, New York, like upstate, Newburgh.
	They all drove down.
	There was about 60 guys there.
	But there was that when we first got there, there was about 20.
	And then a whole crew showed up in this yellow truck that this guy, Tony, had put together with giant speakers on the front playing like old-timey World War I anthems.
	Like it wasn't specifically the paratroopers song, Glory, Glory, what a hell of it.
	What was that kind of music?
	Loud.
	I mean, the speakers were four feet high.
	And they had flags all over the back that said Prowboys and Trump and all that shit.
	And they had just been to about half a dozen towns on Long Island walking down Main Street, pissing everyone off.
	And I said, how'd it go?
	And he goes, I shouldn't say pissing everyone off, pissing women off.
	He goes, women were mad, and they'd give us the finger, and then guys would cheer and give the thumbs up.
	So this American divorce is looking like it's got male and female sides to it.
	But then I notice on Twitter, it's these weird beta cucks, which are maybe 2%, and then the other 98% are just these angry housewives.
	Go to 1.8.
	Suburbs more worried about this.
	Yeah, it's funny too, because they don't give a shit about illegals arriving in droves in the middle of the night and just being dropped off.
	That's fine.
	But Proud Boys going on a march.
	This guy, I checked out, Colonel Hogan.
	He's my age and he's Antifa and he lives in the suburbs.
	Could you possibly be a bigger loser?
	I actually have no problem with teenage Antifa.
	It's a silly phase and it's normal to go through that phase.
	Fuck capitalism.
	Sure.
	But a grown-ass man?
	Click on his name, Colonel Hogan.
	No Pasaran?
	I don't know what the hell that means.
	Look, Black Lives Matter.
	And you can tell by his neck, he's in his late 40s, early 50s.
	Resister, anti-fascist, BLM, defund the police, defund Israel.
	He's definitely Jewish.
	He's a gino.
	Go back.
	So click on the picks.
	Oh, yeah.
	So Save America Rally back to the end, right?
	So this guy, this geriatric Antifa, he fought back against Prowboys for doing that.
	You know how he did it?
	He put up Antifa stickers.
	How's that for a fuck you?
	Go to the next pic.
	Those are the stickers he put up.
	And then he showed pictures of it, too.
	It's like on the back of a stop sign.
	And he goes, whoa, they're going to be pretty upset when they roll into town and see this everywhere.
	Which they didn't see.
	They were very hard to see.
	Looks like I have to decorate Belmore station again.
	What a fucking loser.
	I don't know if anyone sees or cares about these tweets pointing out the growing dangers of fash using that abbreviation here on Long Island.
	I'm tired of being the only active resistor out there, but FYI here's a proud boys storming through yesterday.
	Yeah, quite the same for what it's worth.
	Now, one of the guys is black.
	That guy.
	I hung out with all those dudes that night.
	They like to do shots.
	And then I was looking at the comments and there's all these people.
	Look, what the fuck?
	Freezing the black guy, doing a screen grab of him and saying, he's there with white nationalists doing the white power symbol.
	And it doesn't occur to any of them that they're wrong.
	I know I ain't seen no black dude.
	You did.
	You did.
	What have you to say?
	It's like saying, some guy is straight.
	This is the straightest guy.
	His name's Rock Hudson.
	He's a real ladykiller.
	He's a cool guy.
	And then you.
	Andy Noah's in trouble for being near racist literature.
	Look, there's Colonel Hogan taking care of business in your face.
	I mean, he might be one of the biggest losers in the world.
	Holy shit.
	Look at what he did.
	Dude, no one saw your stupid stickers.
	You embarrassing twat.
	And is there anything weaker than just putting up a sticker on a poll?
	If you hate the Prowboys, go punch one.
	Or confront them.
	We need to scale up ops.
	Anyway.
	Yeah, so say you're talking about Rock Hudson.
	He's The ultimate straight dude.
	He's a badass.
	He's awesome.
	And then you see him with a dude, making out with a dude, tonguing him, sucking his dick.
	Is it possible that you're wrong about Rock Hudson being a straight guy and a ladykiller?
	Is it possible he's gay?
	Did you consider that?
	So it's a white nationalist group.
	They're all racist.
	And they see a black guy.
	And instead of going, hmm, I should maybe reassess my understanding of this club.
	They don't.
	They just go, well, that's weird, but I'm plowing forward.
	What's one nine?
	Oh, another one.
	Another video of it.
	Pat Dog.
	Turn it up.
	Biden sucks.
	That's the truck.
	Law and order, it says on the front.
	Just a quick update, by the way, speaking of those who oppose patriots.
	Remember that loser who got shot?
	He was with the crippled black girl.
	This black girl has no arms or legs.
	She's at rallies all the time, causing trouble, attacking people.
	She had a boyfriend, a ginge, and he decided that he had to protect her.
	So he walked over to some vet, and he's wearing an AR-15, and he walks over to the guy.
	The guy fell threatened and killed him.
	So that guy just went to jail for killing him.
	An Army sergeant has been indicted in Austin on a murder and deadly conduct charge in the shooting death of Black Lives Matter protester Garrett Foster in a case that deepened debates about protesters' safety, self-defense, and the right to openly carry guns.
	You fucking bitch.
	Remember we saw her flopping around like a fish at some other rally saying police beat her, and she obviously had just slinked out of her wheelchair and was hobnobbing around with her stubs.
	She got that guy killed.
	And now the guy who killed him is going to jail.
	What a mess.
	I thought her name was Bob, actually, because I first met her at a swimming pool.
	She was in the water.
	Do we have a War on Cops thing?
	An intro we don't.
	But I think we may have to just do the longest show in the world.
	I mean, we're...
	I'm only on page one here, and I want to get through all this because it's important.
	Including a super long green screen.
	So that's cool.
	That's fun.
	So I talked about this on Anthony's show, I think it was, but we never showed the footage.
	This is a cop getting shot with a handgun that is an automatic.
	Oh, is it removed?
	I wonder if that's the cops doing that or if it's the anti-cops doing that.
	I mean, as a pro-cop guy, I want this video everywhere.
	It's a...
	But a handgun.
	I guess there's something...
	Again, if Maddie was here, he could explain, but there's something you can do to handguns where they become...
	Was it a body cam?
	No.
	Oh, yeah, I guess it was.
	Six days ago.
	Let's see.
	Shot.
	Age-restricted.
	Okay.
	Let's see if we can get around that.
	All right.
	Click to see not see for work.
	Watch on YouTube.
	Okay.
	I understand, and I would wish to proceed, unfortunately.
	Yeah, this is it.
	Thank you.
	Did you hear that?
	Yeah.
	Oh, wow.
	Rigged with auto switch.
	Did he die?
	Let me go.
	Did we talk about the shooting in Brooklyn the other day?
	Cops from New Rochelle, which is just above us, tracked down this guy who shot a dude in an Uber for being rude to him.
	He's just like, fuck you, you're a dick.
	So they tracked him down in Brooklyn.
	There was a shootout where several clips were emptied and no one was hit.
	And the cop who was telling him about it, I go, what are you, stormtroopers?
	And he goes, dude, just fucking try it.
	You know how you're nervous before a fight and your adrenaline's pounding?
	Okay, now multiply that by a million because you could die.
	So everyone is like, no one got shot.
	And it was like, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
	Bang, bang, bang, bang.
	But find out if that guy got shot.
	Is he dead?
	That left an officer dead and another injured.
	Jesus H. Not hearing about it.
	Stories already disappeared.
	2-1.
	We also had, I think this was Houston, was it?
	Oh, here's the shootout.
	Oh, they got it?
	See it, they say.
	All right, I want to see it.
	We do want to see it.
	Dude, why are you lagging again?
	Shootout in broad daylight.
	Take a closer look.
	That's a plainclothes officer from the New Rochelle Police Department jumping out of his car, firing his weapon, then running.
	The officer is a part of a team of officers from Westchester County who tracked down murder suspect Purcell Lamont Ross here at the Ingersoll houses in Fort Greene, Brooklyn after getting a tip.
	But as soon as Ross spotted the officers, they say he started shooting at them and they returned fire.
	The gunplay terrorized people who live in this area.
	I was on my way to church and I heard the shots.
	I had to wait.
	And they wasn't letting nobody in and out.
	But I'm glad they got it.
	Those shots, depending on what time they happened, could have hit any innocent bystander.
	It happened here on Myrtle Avenue in Fleet Place around 10.30 Sunday morning.
	Bullets went flying everywhere, even pierced a glass window of a business across the street.
	Ross would not go easy, allegedly firing at the officers until his gun ran out of bullets.
	That's when Ross surrendered.
	Ross was wanted for the murder of cab driver Andreas Valenzuela in New Rochelle.
	Authorities say he's also suspected of attempted murder in Connecticut and sex trafficking in Virginia.
	Ross is now in the custody of the FBI.
	You kill innocent people.
	Could have been me, my daughter, anybody.
	That's crazy.
	Lady, your nostrils are kind of making the mask redundant.
	My new favorite thing to say to people when they talk about cops is cops are black.
	Wow.
	It's the same as you're boring.
	I'm not done with the cops.
	Keep them up behind me.
	Because that hasn't occurred to people.
	When they talk about cops, they're thinking of Boss Hogg.
	They're thinking of the Dukes of Hazard or some movie where this racist cop is like, we don't want no Negroes in our town.
	I've always lived in cities.
	They're black.
	Cops are black.
	So let's stop this fucking narrative, okay?
	And wasn't there a bunch of cops in Dallas in Texas who were shot?
	Yeah.
	Three cops were shot.
	One was killed.
	Is that the same thing we were just talking about?
	No, I think it's a separate shooting.
	And they were all black cops.
	Or as Polly would say, brack.
	Stand brack and stand by.
	Yeah.
	No.
	Wait, go out talk to Dallas officer who shot an unarmed man.
	No, no, no.
	See if you can find that while we move on.
	Here's a doozy.
	This is up in Belgium.
	And what have I always said about female cops?
	They're just human radios.
	That's all.
	That's the only thing they can do is call in for backup.
	They cannot fight.
	They cannot take down an assailant.
	Woman cannot beat up men.
	Ronda Rousey can.
	Tara La Rosa can.
	That's about it.
	And it's funny too, because every time you see a female cop, it's not some hulking Olga who looks like she played on the rugby team.
	It's always like your mom's friend.
	Rachel.
	It's always Rhoda.
	Look at her.
	Stop, stop, stop.
	That's my mom.
	My mother, a younger my mom, that's my mom in her 30s.
	Go back to the suburbs and take care of Gavin.
	So she's attacking him after he just beat the shit out of a cop and you notice her legs are spasming?
	That's because she's dying.
	He beat them up, stabbed them, and then he took one of their guns and shot her with her own gun.
	Like, this is affirmative action in feminism killing a woman.
	When they say smash the patriarchy, they do.
	And then this happens.
	The patriarchy protects women.
	Look at that.
	I'll never forget.
	I wrote an article that I said it's okay to hit a woman if she hits you 12 times, but then you hit her once, and then you've got to wait for another 12.
	That seems about fair.
	And all the conservatives that I knew, when they saw the article, they were pissed at me because the answer for them is zero.
	She can hit you 1,200 times and you can't hit back.
	And the liberals, they were mad too, but they said one for one.
	She punches you, you can punch her back.
	And I thought, wow, women are safe with the conservative mentality.
	They get infinite punches.
	I follow that rule, but I use exponents.
	I put a small two at the top of every hit.
	12 squared, 144 hits.
	No, no.
	Like, if she hits me twice, we'll...
	What is 3 cubed?
	Is that 9?
	No.
	That would be squared, right?
	Cubed.
	Fuck, fuck, fuck.
	Shit.
	Is that 18?
	Well, cubed is to the fourth power, right?
	I thought it was to the third.
	Is it to the third?
	Which doesn't make sense because a cubed is 3.
	Cubes 4.
	I haven't done this in so long.
	Yeah, I think it might be 3-2.
	So that would be 27?
	But what is cubed?
	How much is cubed?
	If cubed is 3, math is gay.
	It's 27.
	Huh.
	So it's cubed?
	Oh, I know why it's cubed.
	Because there's the guy, and then there's the 3, so it is 4.
	No, that doesn't make sense.
	Learning math.
	3 cubed is 3 to the third power, right?
	3 times 3 times 3.
	How do you get a cube out of 3?
	Oh, I see what you mean.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	All right, let's move on.
	People are going to find out that we're dumb, and that's a secret.
	What's 2, 3?
	You mean 2 cubed?
	Yeah, that's the same thing, right?
	So what was 2, 2?
	I believe it's a...
	The same one.
	Oh, okay.
	Just without the article?
	Yeah.
	Alright, I don't care how long this show goes.
	Did you find out if that cop got shot yet?
	Because we're about to leave cops.
	Houston, right?
	Leave them on the cutting room floor.
	Was it Houston or Dallas?
	Are you Houston or Dallas?
	Oh, gunman.
	Okay, got it.
	This has got to be it, right?
	Yeah, ambush three Texas deputies, killing one.
	There we go.
	Now, I think, go down.
	Cops are black.
	That's a shirt.
	Yeah, that would piss people off.
	Cops are black.
	Yeah, and then it looks like you have like a black family member who's a cop or something, and he made you wear it.
	Yeah, that's a great idea for a shirt.
	Cops are black.
	Because people don't know what to do.
	Right.
	And you're not saying anything if they're good or bad or what?
	Yeah, they're black.
	Just saying they're black.
	Cops are black.
	Like my coffee, like I like my cops.
	Well, you said, and it's great because you could buttress it with Black Lives Matter.
	Cops are black, Black Lives Matter.
	Right.
	I feel like, I don't want to toot my own horn, but I kind of feel like it's the Achilles heel that it's the errant thread that unravels the whole sweater.
	Okay, let's jump to the war on kiddies.
	We are living in an ageism era where children are seen as human garbage.
	Regulations human doctrine with poisonous devices left-wing doctors.
	More brainwashing in class.
	Let's put this in the teacher pile.
	That pile is hitting the ceiling.
	I mean, you put together, what was it, 42?
	I believe 30 to 40 clips.
	And since then, we've had one a day.
	Oh, this one is a number.
	You can tell by her hair, she shouldn't be around kids.
	All right, let's try this.
	One, two, three, y'all eyes on me.
	Yes, two, eyes on me.
	Good.
	So like I said, a lot of people have a question because I'm a non-Muslim teacher.
	So to my fourth grade class, what do you guys call me?
	Teacher Roby.
	And y'all are cool with that?
	Yes.
	Exactly.
	It's that simple.
	Exactly.
	Are you cool with pronouncing exactly wrong?
	That was a real spontaneous answer where they're really giving their honest opinion how they feel about Miss Roby.
	Non-binary teacher addresses her entire class as you guys to my class.
	What do you call me, class?
	A fucking moron.
	And again, it's the arrogance of them posting this.
	Imagine a cop posting that or anyone else.
	There's another one of her there, 2.5.
	You're not non-binary.
	You're just a boring chick.
	I don't even think you're black.
	I'm one of my students here, and I wanted to answer this question for you all.
	What do I do, or what do you do if you mess up and say Miss Roby or Mrs. Roby?
	What happens then?
	Didn't I just say Teacher Roby?
	What do I say sometimes if you mess up sometimes?
	Teacher Roby.
	I just say Teacher Roby and then what happens after that?
	And then I say it and we just move on.
	Yeah.
	There's really not anything.
	It's not a big deal.
	No.
	Do I ever hurt your feelings if you mess up?
	No.
	Okay.
	But overall.
	No, we're not mad.
	We don't think that you beat the shit out of the kids or yell at them when they get your pronouns wrong.
	We assumed you're nice to the kids.
	Our problem is the pronouns in the first place.
	It's grammatically incorrect and it's scientifically inaccurate.
	And it's a bunch of lefty claptrap that has no place in the classroom.
	It's your stupid made-up astrology.
	And I don't want my kids calling you Gemini.
	And I don't want you calling them Sagittarius.
	This is even stupider than astrology, if that's possible.
	So you can do that on your own time and have your silly made-up Vulcan language from Star Trek, but you cannot teach it to my children.
	You are ruining America with your bullshit.
	And Antifa and AOC and the squad, all these corrupt DAs and judges who threw Max and John in jail, they all got brainwashed in K through 12 and that college was the cherry on the top of the Sunday.
	Look at this kid, the only kid in class pledging the Pledge of Allegiance.
	The only kid.
	Wait, what's happening there?
	Turn it up, obviously.
	Damn.
	What does that guy say?
	Decades of kids reciting a pledge written by a socialist, and we live in the results of that.
	What?
	Who wrote the Pledge of Allegiance?
	Computer?
	Hey, Computer, who wrote the Pledge of Allegiance?
	The Pledge of Allegiance by Lee Greenwood was written by Jerry Crutchfield and Francis Bellamy.
	Hey, computer, was Jerry Crutchfield a socialist?
	Here's something I found on the web.
	According to wikipedia.org, he is a member of the Socialist Equality Party of the United States and was a member of its predecessor, the Workers' League, joining the movement in 1979.
	Wait, 79?
	1979?
	Something is not right here.
	I thought it was a little older than that.
	Look up the Pledge of Allegiance, Ryan.
	We got to figure this out now.
	What are you doing?
	Just Wikipedia.
	I can't see shit.
	1882?
	Francis Bellamy.
	Wait, there we go.
	The form of the pledge you say was largely devised by Francis Bellamy and formally adopted, blah, blah, blah.
	So click on Francis Bellamy.
	Francis Bellamy.
	Here he is.
	Christian socialist minister, huh?
	What do you know?
	Although, who knows what socialism meant back then?
	Maybe it meant don't work people to death.
	Christianity is socialism endorsing left-wing politics.
	Wow, that's fascinating.
	I hadn't.
	On the basis of the Bible and teachings Of Jesus, though.
	Render unto Caesar what is Caesar's.
	I could see how Christians would see capitalism as adulterous and rooted in the sin of greed, for sure.
	Yeah, in a very simplistic version.
	Anyway, let's move on.
	Yesterday I alluded to out-Karening the Karens, and I think that's our only way forward here.
	If a Trump supporter is getting fired from somewhere because he's a Trump supporter, because he was at January 6th, or because he said a bad word 20 years ago, we need to contact that employer and make it clear that if you dump him or if you dump this company as a sponsor,
	we're going to blow your shit up.
	They take the path of least resistance, so we need to make keeping him employed the path of least resistance.
	We have to out Karen the Karens.
	Go to 2-7.
	I have great news.
	Loudoun County School Board member Beth Bartz is resigning.
	Barts was part of a Facebook group that encouraged teachers to post the personal info of parents who opposed critical race theory.
	Thank you to every parent who gathered signatures for her recall.
	You see what we did there?
	We out-Karened the Karens.
	She tried to dox concerned parents, and concerned parents fought back and got her fired.
	Get her fired.
	Let's go on a brief little Karen bender while we're here.
	Because they are loud.
	It's not easy to out-Karen the Karens.
	1, 1,000, 2, 1,0003, 1,0004, 1,0005, 1,006, 1,007, 1,000.
	8, 1,000, 9, 1,000.
	10, 1,000, 11, 1,000, 12.
	Dude, what the fuck?
	I thought you fixed this problem.
	This is the new computer, too, which works snappy.
	Sometimes I have to click the link twice.
	There we go.
	Turn it up.
	This is great.
	What is it?
	I paid.
	I understood that.
	Did you?
	Yeah.
	I spent $35 on something I can't use, and your salesman sold it to me knowing I can't use it.
	So here's a crazy one.
	Lori Grainer.
	Grainer, the chick from Shark Hunt.
	I can't tell if she's hot or not.
	She always wears high-heeled shoes, which dupes me into thinking the person's hot.
	You could stick them on a piece of furniture and I just start humping it.
	But sometimes I see her and she's got a big fucking schnauz.
	And other times I see her and she looks like heaven on earth.
	She's a very elusive kind of a beauty.
	In this video, she's gorgeous.
	Gorgeous.
	And this woman claims that Lori parked too close to her.
	You remember Lori, right?
	From Shark Tank?
	She's got the shopping channel?
	No, you're not moving the car until the cops come.
	No, we're going to move the car.
	No, you stay here.
	Stop filming me.
	I'm putting you under citizen's arrest.
	Did you hear that?
	I'm putting you under citizens' arrest for parking too close to me, and I'm waiting for the police to come.
	The police?
	Is it even illegal to park one millimeter from someone?
	You can call carnarks.
	Yeah, it's rude.
	But what's the law?
	Like, what law have you broken by parking prohibitively close to someone?
	You're a joke, as my youngest boy would pronounce it.
	Okay, next.
	She got three of these.
	Give me your phone!
	Why is he letting a woman drive?
	It says sketch comedy viral skit in the tags.
	So you're not going anywhere.
	What should I do?
	Honk?
	Yeah, now you can tell.
	That jumped the shark.
	No, you're not going anywhere.
	What should I do?
	Honk?
	So this kind of contradicts the beginning of the show, where I said, just enjoy it.
	Now I don't enjoy it.
	Right.
	Well, when it's so unenjoyably false.
	Yeah.
	I guess there are exceptions where the acting is so bad you feel betrayed.
	So she parked too close to her car and then she said, I'm going to arrest you.
	You know, like an officer of the law.
	I'm very happy with that.
	Looks pretty good.
	Here's an example of out-Karenning the Karens.
	Eric Cohen.
	Take it away.
	So this was the guy, weird Jewish dude who thinks he's a woman, who was dressed in black block, and he had a big, like this long of a blade.
	And he stabbed this guy, happened to be Hispanic.
	Everyone is white in this story, but whatever.
	Let's use their narrative against them.
	And he got him in the armpit, which is apparently one of the worst places to get stabbed because you go right into the vitals.
	You're right by the heart there.
	So he almost killed the dude.
	And he's facing charges for, I don't know, felony assault, attempted murder.
	It should be attempted murder.
	And there he is.
	That's him in the middle.
	And I chose this for a very specific reason, but let's play it.
	Eric Cohen, why did you stab a Latino man?
	Eric Cohen.
	Eric Cohen, don't touch me.
	Don't touch me.
	Eric Cohen.
	Eric Cohen.
	Why did you stab Latino Man?
	Eric Cohen, what are you doing?
	Get away from me.
	Get away from me.
	Get away from me.
	Get away from me.
	Step back.
	That was a step.
	Are you Eric Cohen?
	You see what we're up against?
	Like, how meek is that guy?
	Step back.
	That was a step.
	Like, just shove him out of the way.
	Move, asshole.
	Who's that?
	Randy?
	Yes?
	What are you doing?
	Get away from me.
	Get away from me.
	Get away from me.
	Okay.
	Andy, maybe?
	Like, this is how hard it is to fight back.
	Our bullies are not tough guys.
	We're not being bullied by Tyson Fury.
	We're being bullied by nobodies.
	So get in their face.
	Go up to the Antifa guy.
	Get him on camera.
	If someone is in your way, go fucking move.
	They definitely yelled at him after this.
	Like, dude, you got to hold the line.
	No, they didn't.
	They were impressed.
	Oh, really?
	That was a badass.
	That was awesome what you did.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	Wow.
	Let's jump to some LGBTQ.
	Okay.
	And here.
	You haven't done this in a while.
	Why are you gay?
	I felt ugly.
	I felt gay.
	And then we fell in love.
	And then they eat their poo-poo.
	And we have a very good relationship.
	I don't like the fucking.
	You don't want to see a closed-up picture of my haters.
	You ain't gay, man.
	You ugly.
	Homophobal.
	Let's summarize 2021 with one video.
	We only have one item for LGBT, I'm afraid.
	I just wanted to see all these fancy colors.
	I hope we paid that dude.
	I think we did, right?
	Uh-oh, Ryan.
	You're in trouble.
	It's just been Instagram for me today.
	He's wearing the skirt.
	We're both gay.
	He's pregnant.
	I have two girlfriends.
	It's 2021.
	I'm wearing the pants.
	You nailed it.
	You can keep it.
	We're both gay.
	He's pregnant.
	I have two girlfriends.
	Wait a minute, wait a minute.
	So he's a woman if he's pregnant, right?
	So now it's shocking that a woman is wearing a skirt?
	He's pregnant.
	Right.
	Like, you realize two negatives make a positive, my dear.
	So if you have a cis woman who identifies as a male but is pregnant, it's just a pregnant chick.
	Oh, that's enough.
	Oh, I get it.
	Like, I'm wearing guys' clothes, but if I say I'm a woman, it's like, whoa.
	Like, I'm a woman, but I'm wearing this.
	Whoa.
	I get it.
	Bizarre.
	I remember hearing about that in San Francisco years ago.
	Like, at least 20 years ago, maybe more.
	Where a lot of these guys were gay guys were into femmes and they got so into like feminine men that they didn't even want the men to have dicks.
	And they would go with like men who had a sex change or lesbians.
	The lesbians, femmes, were getting into tougher and tougher chicks, more and more bulldy chicks and getting fucked with a strap on until they started getting into actual dudes because they got so extreme in their lesbianity.
	So both sides got so extreme that they just became a normal 1950s straight couple.
	This sounds very gay.
	Yeah.
	Well, that's what they were going for.
	They didn't arrive there.
	All right, guys, it's time for a heaping dose of racism.
	My allergies are going nuts today.
	I'm sneezing.
	I got itchy eyes.
	Do you get allergies?
	No, not really.
	I'm allergic to racism, I'll tell you that much.
	True.
	A chew.
	So one theme of today's show was out Karening the Karens, but I was also thinking about black privilege and white unprivilege, like what Devin and I have gone through with our careers in the past five years.
	It's definitely a disadvantage to be a white male these days, especially when it comes to getting a raise, especially in the corporate environment as a cop.
	But 3-5, this guy was fired.
	These group people, the Art Institute of Chicago fired all of its volunteer greeters and guides because most were white women.
	The volunteers had to take 18 months of twice-a-week training to qualify as museum educators.
	Just like that female cop getting shot, here we have everything woke turns to shit, and now everyone is worse off.
	The women who work there, the museum, the museum experience, the people who go there to see what this museum has to offer.
	My wife was a museum greeter at the American India Museum.
	It's not really a male job.
	I can't explain why.
	Men tend to do walking tours more than women.
	Women tend to be better in museum environments, maybe because it's safer.
	I don't know.
	I don't know.
	But that group just seems to naturally shine in that environment.
	Maybe they're wealthier.
	Maybe they're more curious.
	I don't know.
	Why are you wrecking it?
	And of course, these women were instantly replaced by highly educated black women who were eager to show people the Chicago Museum.
	Like, the implication here is, get that race shit out of my face.
	It's terrible.
	Whoever did that sucks.
	And I don't just mean as an artist, as a person.
	Your whole family sucks, dude.
	Your parents never should have met.
	But the implication is that there's all these black women, middle-aged black women, dying to show patrons around the museum?
	You know that's not true.
	We all know that's not true.
	We can pretend it's true if that makes anyone feel cool.
	Fine, I'll pretend.
	Let's pretend.
	Like, what a bizarre mentality we have in this country.
	Every time, like the mentality now is, or at least the mentality that that act provokes, implies, is that there's this elitist white woman society.
	They smoke long cigarettes and they have white gloves on.
	They're like, this is the white lady's only auxiliary.
	You know, if a black woman applied for that fucking volunteer position, they would all be salivating.
	They would be fucking thrilled.
	But no, let's pretend that there's this elitist white group when the opposite is true.
	Then there's this guy.
	This is one of the worst guys around.
	What's his name?
	Walter Masterson.
	Do you know who this dude is?
	No.
	He's a big trolling prankster.
	I have to make sure that...
	This is actually the most interesting part of the video.
	He records this black woman first.
	I have to constantly change my vernacular to make sure I'm heard.
	Bullshit.
	If I'm the only black person in the room, I have to be respectful.
	I have to, well, obviously I have to be respectful, but I have to be everything and more than my own counterpart.
	You can't not see color.
	Color is who I am.
	Color is what makes people look at me and be intimidated.
	Maybe don't shove it down everyone's throat then.
	I know I'm probably getting on time.
	30 seconds.
	30 seconds.
	Just to make students comfortable, we need to see ourselves and our teachers.
	We need to see ourselves that we can be in power too.
	With regard to one of the second...
	With regard to the second clarification.
	So just this guy is sitting there saying we don't teach kids to hate America.
	That's just not true.
	That will not be the case.
	CRT is in schools, and it says that America was stolen from the Indians and is built on racism and slavery.
	And it's all about oppressor and oppressed.
	That's what critical race theory is.
	Hegemony.
	You take this idea of subjugation and you lace it through all of America's accomplishments.
	That's what it does.
	And if you don't hate that concept, then you're a shitty person.
	Visible, valuable, viable.
	Thank you.
	You know, that's the kind of thing a handicapped person should say.
	Like, I'm still viable, even though I'm in a chair.
	My name is Walter Masterson, and I am an American and a patriot.
	I've never read critical race theory like most of my conservative friends, but I did watch Tucker Carlson talk about it once.
	You know, the best way to end racism is to stop talking about it.
	We never talked about racism in the 1950s.
	I mean, how great for the 1950s.
	I mean, we won World War II, we invented airplanes, we went to the moon, and then we started talking about racism in the 60s, and boom.
	Wait, stop.
	We won World War II in the 50s?
	Really?
	If you're funny, you don't need to read a script.
	That's not amusing, Mr. Troll.
	And it also assumes the conservatives, when they say make America great again, they want to go back to the 50s.
	No, it's the 80s.
	And he's saying we shouldn't talk about racism, implying that we're saying that.
	All America does is talk about racism.
	I'm talking about it now because it's shoved down our throats on a daily basis.
	I have to defend the allegations.
	But I don't like talking about it.
	You guys are the ones who talk about it.
	Just because I don't believe in critical race theory, does that make me a racist?
	Just because I get more angry when someone calls me a racist and I'm completely silent when there's actual racism?
	Like, what?
	Does that make me a racist?
	A lot of people say yes.
	I think the racist comments section of Instagram.
	Disabled comments for Instagram speech.
	We need to end forced indoctrination in our schools.
	And right after we do that, we need to end the forced indoctrination.
	Yeah, I know where you're going.
	We need to mandate that everyone stands for the pledge of belief.
	So there's trolling conservatives in a room full of liberals that are giggling.
	What an annoying twat.
	That's the guy that Elad.
	Barely informed shutdown.
	Hmm.
	Remember him?
	I think so.
	Look it up.
	Elad Walter Matheson.
	Let's make sure that that humiliation follows him everywhere he goes.
	Are we going to show that?
	Again, I got to show it before I move on.
	So you know who this guy is.
	So he just goes to conservative events and acts like a moron.
	And then he says, see, conservatives are dumb.
	It's really witty stuff.
	What are you doing?
	You can't find him?
	No.
	I typed Elad, now I'm typing barely informed.
	Did you spell Elad right?
	Yeah.
	E-L-A-D.
	Maybe Elad didn't know that's who he was talking to.
	Was it recently?
	Yeah, I thought.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Maybe he didn't.
	It was around.
	Elad was like, tell me the law that says blah, blah, blah.
	I'm going to find his clip on Instagram.
	It was a short clip.
	Anyway, what I want to get into after that is black privilege.
	Oh, there he is.
	I think that's him in the top middle.
	Is it?
	That's not the that.
	No, no.
	It was at a vax protest thing.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, that was it.
	And he was saying, How many people have died?
	I think I remember the shirt he was wearing.
	I think this is it.
	Yeah, there he is.
	Okay, so he was that was a bit that Walter was doing here.
	Okay.
	There's a mortality rate and then there's a mortgage rate.
	I'm asking you, how many people under the age of 35 do you think dime is COVID in the country?
	Give me a ballport test.
	Something.
	No idea.
	Come on, but you have no idea.
	I want to show you the order of magnitude of this issue.
	So I'm asking you, under the age of 35, how many people in this country do you think die is poised in?
	Did you hear my question?
	How many do I think?
	I don't know.
	You have no idea.
	Give me a guess.
	So this is a hard thing to make, right?
	How many people under the age of 35 do you think die?
	How many people under the age of 35?
	It's over 100,000.
	Okay, yeah.
	Now, the answer is 10%.
	According to the CDC now, I'm not a scientist, but you know, someone's like, see, look how useless he is.
	That's the guy we just saw.
	The troll.
	Yeah.
	And look, now you can look at me.
	Look it up.
	It seems like he's on opiates.
	I think he has autism.
	COVID ducks.
	COVID duts by age, genius.
	COVID ducks by age.
	I'm not arguing anything.
	I just asked him.
	You're the producer.
	Look it up.
	You do positive death damage.
	Can I ask you one question now?
	This would be my last thing.
	Why do you think you are orders of magnitude wrong on people who you think died under 35 of COVID?
	You said 100,000.
	It was 10,000.
	Why do you think you were so wrong about that number?
	Because I don't have the information aside.
	Or maybe do you think you not only don't have the information?
	I told you I told you.
	I understand.
	Yeah.
	I know you don't know because you don't do the research.
	So that's Walter as himself.
	Yeah.
	Okay, he's not playing that up.
	Oh, wow.
	It's all caught up.
	Because he seems like he's perfectly acting stupid.
	But that's real.
	That's embarrassing.
	Very embarrassing.
	That's what they call it.
	Bad news.
	Bad news.
	Yeah, let's look at some black people acting like assholes.
	And I think I know why.
	And I think I know why.
	Why is it that white people walk around like they own the place?
	I think I know why.
	So Taneshi Coates says white people act like they own the place.
	This looks nice, doesn't it?
	Remember we came with a great solution for this?
	You go over and you act like you're at the zoo and you go, look, it's shaking.
	It's bum.
	Give me a picture.
	Look, it's doing a funny dance.
	Oh my God, look at that.
	Look, they're talking to each other.
	It's communicating with its friends.
	Look, it's doing a dance.
	And get pictures and pose next to them and stuff?
	Majestic.
	So majestic.
	Oh, this was...
	I'm glad we were doing a long episode today because I've been meaning to get to this for a while now.
	Remember that crazy bitch?
	Okay, first of all, in the late 60s, terrorism was hot.
	Weather underground, all these terrorists, the FLQ, they were blowing up buildings, they were attacking people, and a lot of them went to jail for fucking murder, murdering Brinks, trucks, guys.
	They needed money.
	One of them was this crazy bitch who just got out recently.
	I think Obama pardoned her.
	And first thing she does when she gets out is become the secretary treasurer of Black Lives Matter.
	Shortly after, Patrice Colors goes on a real estate buying spree.
	Go to 3.9.
	I forget her name.
	Patrice Con Colors, Melangollars.
	No, Patrice Cullers is the woman who runs BLM, and she's the one who had the four different properties totaling 3.2 million, and one of them had a landing strip for a fucking jet.
	Not a jet, but a small plane.
	That's one of her properties.
	That's the landing strip for the plane.
	Airport runway on your lawn.
	But look up the secretary-treasurer, the head of finance of BLM.
	It's a fucking terrorist.
	So you go, all right, well, that's a massive scandal.
	You hired a terrorist.
	She ran your bank account.
	You spent $3.2 million indulging yourself in real estate.
	You're done.
	No?
	Susan Rosenberg.
	Susan Rosenberg is her name.
	That's the one who set Patrice loose on the world.
	Oh, and Snopes is happy to have the second search result.
	And it's a mixture.
	She's a little terrorist.
	I'm a little rock and roll.
	Yeah.
	I mean, she did, you know, bomb some U.S. government buildings and she committed a couple of armed robberies.
	But what's undetermined is, in the absence of a single universally agreed definition of terrorism, I don't know.
	I think blowing up government buildings and committing armed robberies for your terrorist group.
	It's not like she needed the money to go buy a purse.
	It was for the weather underground.
	Seems like this depends on what your definition of is is.
	I don't identify as a terrorist.
	Wow.
	So Patrice Colors is still going strong.
	And now she's the head.
	This is Susan Rosenberg, but this one, this is when it said, I'm a trained Marxist.
	Remember that?
	And she said that the book she wrote is like her, it's like Mao's little red book, which is the Communist Manifesto.
	And now she is the head of the arts, county commissioner in L.A. I plan on advocating for the full support of black creative across my beautiful ass city.
	Whoever did her Hindu dot needs to eye surgery.
	Whoever does her Hindu dot needs to go back to lens crafters.
	So that's exciting that these people are uncancelable.
	It's called black privilege.
	I mean, And it's petty to just call it black privilege.
	It's liberal privilege.
	And all you have to do, I say, imagine the races are reversed.
	Imagine the Bidens were reversed.
	Make Hunter Biden Jr.
	Donald Trump Jr. and make Donald Trump Jr.
	Hunter Biden.
	I mean, we'd be hearing about Donald Trump Jr.'s crack addiction.
	In fact, they call him a cokehead.
	They regularly make fun of Donald Trump Jr.'s cocaine problem, which doesn't exist, while ignoring Hunter Biden Jr.'s, I mean, Hunter Biden's crack problem, which does exist.
	Wait, what's that?
	It's a GIF.
	Did you make it?
	No.
	Oh, cool.
	Bird Witches, the baby monster.
	Gav's bald eagle.
	So I got that tattoo woman coming for the marathon.
	Oh, cool.
	I'm going to get an Antifa tattoo, and then we'll get Bird Witches Bald Eagles.
	You're going to get an Antifa tattoo?
	Yeah.
	That's amazing.
	And I want our Bald Eagles to be sticking pokes.
	Damn.
	Or to look like them, at least.
	Those are my favorite tattoos are my little homemade ones.
	I don't like the good ones anymore.
	All right.
	Jumping ahead to number 40.
	I saw 60 Minutes on Sunday, and it was all about the death of the pub in Britain.
	Zero mention of Islam.
	Zero mention of a massive influx of alcohol-eating immigrants called Muslims that are now making mosques outweigh churches.
	Of course, the pub's going to die.
	You changed your country.
	You changed your demographic.
	And the pub is so integral to British culture.
	That's where everyone meets.
	Young, old, punks, fucking businessmen.
	They all meet at the pub.
	They're all one at the pub.
	It's something we should envy.
	I mean, we have smatterings of it in New York with the various bars and taverns.
	But in Britain, it's a real equalizer.
	And it's where people talk and the community is strengthened, all going away because of Islam.
	And they didn't touch it once.
	Go to 4-0?
	Is that what 4-0 was?
	Yeah, sorry.
	The reason I brought that up, it's kind of a tangent.
	But this is a documentary about those boys who were rescued.
	And of course, race isn't mentioned.
	And I don't like race being mentioned.
	But if you mention it every time whites do something bad, why did not one person note that all the guys who saved those kids were white?
	Imagine they were black.
	The divers?
	Oh my god, there'd be tattoos everywhere.
	We need expert cave divers out here.
	This has actually got our name all over it.
	Trying to wriggle through holes that I couldn't wriggle through.
	Again and again.
	We didn't think it was possible to dive the children out.
	I was like, well, what does the impossible look like?
	So I guess they remember Elon Musk wanted them in dildos.
	But I think they just put scuba gear on them.
	Elon Musk wanted them in dildos?
	Yeah, a little tube.
	Anyway, I just thought it was funny that they always mention the race when it's convenient and they ignore it when it's not.
	And it reminded me of 60 Minutes when they did the pub thing.
	And then they also did a thing on Coptic Christians, how they're the oldest Christians or something in Egypt.
	And they covered the whole thing and showed them the Aramaic and the Jesus writing.
	And I'm sure I'm getting all this wrong and this incredible culture.
	And they didn't once mention that they're being slaughtered by Muslims.
	Britain paved the way for the slaughter of Libya's Christians.
	That was 27 Coptic Christians who were beheaded on the beach in Libya.
	How do you cover Coptic Christians and not mention that they're being assassinated and ethnically cleansed?
	Oh, here's the thing.
	Yeah.
	Very Dr. Evil-esque.
	What's 4-2?
	11 Christians killed every day for their faith.
	Have you heard that before?
	No, you haven't.
	Because the media totally ignores it.
	You know why?
	Because the guys killing them seem off-white.
	It's non-white privilege.
	You get to murder 11 Christians every day.
	It's just like America where 20 blacks are killed by blacks every day and they ignore it because the shooter is black.
	They ignore this because the killers are Muslim.
	They look pretty white to me.
	It's okay.
	You can hate the murderers.
	They're white enough for you.
	Here's my dunce pope saying that good Samaritans are taking care of Minneapolis after George Floyd.
	Pope Francis says that the protests following the killing of George Floyd had the spirit of the Good Samaritan.
	This movement did not pass by on the other side of the road when it saw the injury to human dignity caused by an abuse of power.
	And then Ian Chong goes, okay, this is the Good Samaritans.
	This is your idea of Good Samaritans?
	4-4?
	Look how fantastic they are, these wonderful Samaritans.
	They didn't just sit idly by while George Floyd was killed.
	They make sure their entire city became a fucking war zone.
	That looks like Iraq.
	That looks like the place where 10 Christians, 11 Christians are killed every day.
	Just with that little push of inspiration, look how much they got done there.
	I mean, that is inspiring.
	Isn't it beautiful?
	Wow.
	They didn't sit idly by.
	George Floyd is the biggest domino.
	It looks beautiful.
	To tumble down.
	What a wonderful job they did.
	Raising awareness.
	I remember this when These videos came out, and I had never seen America look so Iraq.
	It's very Iraq chic.
	What a fucking shithole.
	Mostly peaceful, fiery but peaceful.
	Are those all homes of police officers, perhaps?
	Or is that just it's all racist places?
	Autozone was racist.
	Did you not know that?
	Oh, I knew that.
	It's whites only.
	Yeah.
	That's where the women from the Chicago Museum go to train at AutoZone because they know there'll be no blacks.
	Speaking of Islam, let's jump over there because we've kind of slept on this British MP who was murdered by a Muslim.
	We have an Islam bumper.
	It's brand new.
	Let's do the Islam bumper.
	I was longing for a way to express myself spiritually.
	Anybody know of any terrorist attacks?
	So I started getting people to scream Aloha and then blow himself up.
	I woke up the next day according to the FBI, an Islamic terrorist.
	Great stuff.
	That's a really good one.
	Yep.
	So, of course, just like 60 Minutes ignoring the Muslim problem, Britain is ignoring the Muslim problem after this assassination.
	Remember Lee Rigby?
	Beheaded on the street because he was a vet and he was wearing vet clothes and that identified him.
	So some black Muslim cut his head off.
	And then one of the weirdest things about that assassination was all these women coming out going, oi, what are you doing?
	That's out of older.
	Oi!
	Lady, run.
	He's a murderer.
	And then the cover of the post was the guy with his hands were bright red with blood.
	But it's happened again.
	This guy I hadn't heard of before.
	There's Lee Rigby.
	There's the red hands.
	Look, he's still got the meat cleaver in his hand.
	What are you doing, lady?
	So we're back again.
	Sir David Amis.
	He wasn't killed by rude words.
	He was killed by, we presume, this is what we know so far, by an alleged radical Islamist.
	And that's the thing that people are trying to avoid.
	We have Islamist denialism in this country, a real unwillingness to confront the fact that scores of Britons have been killed by radical Islamists over the past five years.
	And I think this current discussion about the need for a kinder, gentler politics is generalizing the problem and turning it into a problem of political culture, when in fact it's a problem, we presume, of radical Islam.
	The chattering classes in this country would do anything to avoid discussing that problem and they're doing that once again.
	But David Amos wasn't killed by nasty tweets.
	It was Allah.
	Go to 4-6.
	Wait, is that it?
	Should have done that a long time ago.
	Like the day he was born.
	Go to 4-6.
	I think that's the Norm McDonald one.
	Yeah.
	What terrifies me is if ISIS were to detonate a nuclear device and kill 50 million Americans, imagine the backlash against peaceful Muslims.
	Which Norm's joke came to life after the Pulse nightclub that killed, what, 80 people?
	80 gays and lesbians?
	And Aziz Ansari had the fucking balls to write an article about he's worried about the backlash his parents will experience.
	And the New York Times ran it and it went viral.
	That was our takeaway from all these dead gays was that the Ansaris might be uncomfortable.
	And he said, I called my parents.
	I said, don't go to the mosque.
	And they said, we're not going near the mosque.
	That's your takeaway from the dead gays.
	So 4-7 is more information about it.
	The murderer who brutally stabbed Conservative MP Sir David Amis to death earlier today in what is likely an Islamic terror attack has been identified as a 25-year-old Somali man.
	I saw Irshan Ali, her name is, the one that the reformed Muslim woman from Somalia, and she was like, what happened here?
	What is his story?
	How did he get like this?
	What did we do wrong?
	And if I was on Twitter, I could have said, is this you?
	Because he looks exactly like her.
	And then the mayor, Sadiq Khan of London, would like you to know that he passed away.
	I am so deeply saddened by the tragic news that Sir David has passed away.
	He just drifted away.
	We're talking about Somalians.
	This is kind of natural causes.
	He just drifted in his sleep.
	He was sleeping on the road with knife wounds, and he passed away.
	That guy is...
	I think he might be worse than Joe Biden.
	Joe Biden is definitely the worst president we've ever had, but I think Sadiq Khan might be the worst politician we've ever had.
	Did he get ratioed for that?
	Go down?
	Does nothing but trivialize his death, correct?
	He was murdered, correct?
	He was murdered, correct.
	Who elected these gentlemen, the Brits?
	I think you'll find the word murdered maybe more appropriate.
	Okay, good.
	So at least people figured it out.
	Tragically, I don't think...
	They should have a down vote on a tweet.
	You know?
	Wait, go up a bit?
	You turnip.
	Go up a bit?
	You didn't see Sadiq's timeline, did you?
	This was a follow-up to his earlier tweet expressing horror at the attack.
	Cheap shot.
	Says a South African.
	Leadership during crisis.
	Climate.
	Yeah, that's a good one to focus on, Sadiq.
	And then finally, 4-9.
	UK Muslim and Murdered MP avidly watched YouTube videos of Jihad preacher Anjem Chowdhury.
	Anjem Chowdhury was so on-the-nose terrorist that I suspected he was a fed.
	And it's possible that he is.
	It's possible that he's a fed and they're so inept that they ended up generating terrorism, which they do all the fucking time.
	Oh, that's the guy who shooted the SBLC in one.
	To make this an issue of freedom and democracy is absurd.
	I'm John DeFi.
	That would be a fun.
	We should watch that on our own time.
	All right, let's do...
	I know I told you we were going to do some ridiculosity, but we're already, we got to catch up on these news items.
	We'll do it next time.
	I'll give it to you fucking Friday.
	There's just too much going on in the world.
	Devin asked me that last night.
	He said, so what do you do if there's nothing to talk about?
	I'm like, I've had the opposite problem 100% of the time.
	I've never once gone, fuck, what should we talk about today?
	Never.
	In fact, I've reluctantly left piles and piles of shit on the cutting room floor every day.
	And I'm not doing it today.
	Not going to do it.
	All right, there's a lot of fun COVID shit going on.
	Wait.
	That's a really bad drawing, but it works.
	That was the guy, Chris, who you disliked, his background so much, and you said he was a big one.
	Yeah, well, in that example, he was so bad, he was good.
	So I know this is ancient news now, Joe Rogan, but people are talking about him suing CNN for the horse tranquilizer comments.
	And this is a good montage of all the shit they said about him after he took.
	See, let's stop for a second here.
	Why are you so mad about Joe Rogan?
	Because he has influence.
	Oh.
	So you're not concerned with the truth.
	You're concerned about impact.
	Oh, you know who's concerned about impact and not so much the truth?
	Activists.
	Leftist activists.
	Bolsheviks, to be specific.
	They will turn on their own brother in order to win the argument, in order to get more power.
	It's all about power.
	But that's not the blueprint for journalism.
	The blueprint for journalism is truth.
	It's telling a story in an exciting and captivating way and conveying truth within that story.
	That's not what this is.
	This is power-hungry Bolsheviks trying to thwart someone else because they're wielding more power.
	Millions more people listen to Joe Rogan than what's her name?
	What's her name?
	Anita Sarkazia?
	Anna Kasparum.
	Anna Kasparian.
	Who did a debate with Ben Shapiro and it was very civil.
	Of course it was because they're both basically next to the center.
	It blows my mind that Joe Rogan just yesterday admitted to taking ivermectin.
	Ivermectin is something more often used to deworm horses.
	Wait, CNN is saying I'm taking more often.
	Right.
	Prove it.
	Horse dewormer.
	Rogan telling his 13 million Instagram followers that he was treated with several drugs, and he included ivermectin on the list, a drug used for livestock.
	Rogan said the word ivermectin.
	Yes, that's the deworming medicine made to kill parasites and farm animals.
	Why would they lie and say that's horse dewormer?
	So things are clearly bad, but they're being made even worse by people who have refused to take the vaccine.
	You're wearing a t-shirt on your news show?
	And it's James Baldwin, who was a really eloquent and intelligent black activist, but he was back in a time when there was racism.
	So wearing a James Baldwin shirt is a way of saying, I'm stuck in the past.
	And I'm unaware that things have changed since 1955.
	It's like wearing a Let's Get Out of Vietnam shirt.
	Dude, it's like wearing a free Nelson Mandela shirt.
	He's out.
	Oh, maybe we should sell those off.
	Free Nelson Mandela.
	Wow.
	That's pretty good.
	Instead, we're swallowing horse paste.
	Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a second.
	He said that he got better because he ate healthy worm.
	They must know that the loud.
	Did you spot him?
	Oh.
	He was there.
	Oh, yeah, there.
	There he is, being silent and bearing the brunt of it.
	Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a second.
	He said that he got better because he ate healthy worm.
	They must know that that's a lie.
	You have individuals like Joe Rogan, for example.
	Who's that, Ralph Florence?
	Who don't want to take an experimental vaccine, but it looks like it.
	I thought he died.
	We'll take horseworms.
	Well, well, well.
	What is an old horseworm rogan?
	Ivermectin is often used to deworm livestock.
	Ivermectin, apparently given to deworm animals.
	It's a lie on a news network, and it's a lie that's a willing.
	That's a lie that they're...
	You hear Sanjay just like deflate.
	But we talked about this already, and we said Sanjay should have pointed out all the shit Spotify does.
	That's a willing.
	That's a lie that they're conscious of.
	It's not a mistake.
	They're unfavorably framing it as veterinary medicine.
	Joe Rogan, he came down with COVID.
	He says he's been taking the livestock dewormer, ivermectin.
	They lied when they said I was taking horse dewormer for ivermectin.
	Looping, right?
	Yes.
	What was the thing I sent to you?
	I think I sent you an extra Karen that we didn't include.
	That's off topic now.
	It would be inconsistent to include in a COVID montage.
	This is correct.
	However, it might be...
	No, let's just stick with COVID.
	We'll put it at the end.
	It's post-Prussian.
	Yes.
	This was a fucking crazy one that I cannot believe exists.
	Thank God for Ezra Levant.
	And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
	I love him.
	He's such a great guy.
	He is a great guy.
	Did I ever tell you about the time he was at my house with his kids?
	And his kids are my kids' age.
	And so my youngest would have been around seven or six.
	Yeah, probably six at the time.
	And everyone coos and fawns over him because he is abnormally cute.
	All six-year-olds are cute, but when my son was six, he was a freak.
	Like, it was harmful to America that I didn't have him in commercials and stuff.
	But I overheard Ezra's son and my son, and they were talking about being cute.
	No.
	And my boy goes, do people always say you're cute and stuff?
	And Ezra's kid's like, yeah.
	They don't like it.
	It's like supermodels.
	Like, they want you to ask them about their photography and their poetry.
	They don't like being asked about cute.
	Right.
	Because there's no merit in cute.
	Here's a secret about Ezra Levant.
	He always wanted to go to Disneyland as a kid.
	His parents, he discovered maybe 10 years later, his parents went without the kids.
	Wow.
	They went on the rides.
	He saw pictures of his parents at Disneyland.
	That's so hurtful.
	Isn't that fucking crazy?
	Terrible.
	Anyway, Ezra brought this to my attention.
	Prosecutors asked a judge to throw Pastor Arthur Powellowski.
	We had him on the show, remember him?
	For 21 days.
	Instead, the judge fined him $42,000, insane, forbade him from traveling till 2023.
	Also insane, but slightly less insane.
	And ordered him to say the government's political rebuttal to himself anytime he talks about the pandemic.
	One of the craziest things I've ever heard in my life.
	Like replacing his faith, basically.
	Ordered him to say.
	Where he operates best.
	They want to replace that with God's.
	His brain is on trial.
	Like, this is the most amateur judge I've ever heard of.
	Is this a little girl?
	Ordered him to say the government's political rebuttal to himself.
	First of all, how do you enforce something like that?
	It's so ridiculous that the fact that it's unenforceable shows how incompetent this teacher, this judge is.
	But who's the judge?
	We've got to find out who this judge is.
	We're already way over in time.
	Who cares?
	Should we?
	What?
	Should we?
	Should we what?
	Find the judge?
	Yeah, yeah.
	But maybe it's in the tweets.
	Okay.
	Maybe, because he's got a whole chain there.
	40-minute rant.
	Judge raged against Arthur.
	The judge is Adam Germain.
	There you go.
	I just assumed it was a woman.
	A failed Liberal Party politician who was given a soft landing by Jean Cretchin, who imported him to the bench.
	Germaine was rejected by Albertans, and now in return, he rejects Albertans' belief in freedom.
	It really is an atrocious ruling.
	Let's look at this guy.
	I got to see his face.
	Is he at least gay?
	Let's see Adam Germain.
	Alberta is, for all you folks south of the border, it's Texas.
	It is our, it's Canada's Texas.
	There's literal cowboys, like guys who have the Calgary Stampede.
	There's the rodeo up there.
	They wear cowboy hats, and they got tons and tons of oil.
	It was the richest province in the country.
	It was paying for everyone else.
	And then the liberals got involved and taxed the oil to death.
	And now it looks like Detroit.
	Wow.
	Is that the judge?
	Yeah, man.
	He doesn't have gay face.
	He's just a dick.
	He ordered the pastor to repeat the government's argument before he talks about COVID.
	That's crazy, man.
	Is that Joe Rogan?
	Yeah, man.
	Hey, dude, I've been meaning to talk to you.
	We were friends.
	Remember, you brought me to boxing matches with my kid, and I went backstage with you.
	I was on your show a bunch of times.
	We used to talk all the time, but it was Twitter DM, so I can't communicate with you anymore.
	I don't have your number.
	That was a long time ago, man.
	Dude, I got to ask you, why did you kill our interview?
	You know, man, I don't know, man.
	I mean, it's just crazy, man.
	What's crazy?
	Well, like, the Spotify deal and stuff like that.
	I mean, you know.
	But wait, when you moved over to Spotify, you said, I'm still 100% in control.
	I'm calling the shots.
	Right.
	No, that's true, man.
	But, Jamie, pull this up real quick.
	But they took a couple of the episodes and they put them in a rear naked choke.
	It was a bad motherfucker, man.
	It was crazy, man.
	They put my episode in a chokehold?
	Yeah, like a...
	It's like kind of like a guillotine.
	And then you didn't.
	It seemed like you don't like my homeboy.
	Joe Diaz.
	I'm not a fan of Coco Diaz.
	He's a bad motherfucker, man.
	All right, I forgive you.
	You got, what, 90 million to tell me to fuck off?
	I was thinking about, too, with women in divorce today.
	Like, Bill Gates' wife, all these different billionaire wives.
	Oh, Larry David.
	Larry David's made half a billion, 500 million off of Seinfeld.
	So he's sitting there getting uglier by the day.
	He's probably not good in bed anymore.
	Probably jerks off.
	And his wife is like, it's kind of like the opposite of a sword of Damocles.
	Hanging over her head is $250 million.
	Here, we'll pay you $250 million to never fuck Larry David again.
	I mean, that's a pretty good deal.
	Okay, I'll do it, she said, after however long they were married.
	She said, that's pretty, pretty, pretty good.
	You look at Larry David naked one night and you think, I get $250 million not to fuck that.
	Signed.
	How long?
	Now we got to look that up.
	How long was he married for?
	Oh, it was a long time, man.
	Pull that shit up, Jamie.
	Pull that shit up, Jamie.
	It might be Wikipedia.
	It might be the best thing.
	Let's guess.
	It was his second marriage, and it was four years.
	I hereby guess.
	And they never had kids.
	He already had kids with the first wife.
	Ooh, there's married Wiki.
	Ooh.
	Okay, where do I look?
	Two children.
	Where is that?
	One affair.
	Oh, he cheated on her?
	Oh, his birth sign is cancer.
	That's fine.
	oh, that explains everything.
	Yeah.
	Hey, I'm cancer, and I'm 5'11.
	And I was born in July.
	Oh, of course I was born in July.
	Okay, kids.
	Is this you?
	Sometimes it's me when people park over the lines.
	John Ham's net worth?
	What the fuck?
	What is this we're on, dude?
	Why did you take me here?
	This is bullshit.
	It's probably made in India.
	So, Mr. David.
	This is Larry David.
	If you'd like to know John Ham's net worth.
	Remember, John Hamm was going to play him on an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm?
	Oh, right, right.
	So I guess in India, they're like, that's the same guy, buddy.
	He's John Ham.
	Personal life.
	Okay.
	Personal life.
	Wow.
	Can you scrunch it and blow it up?
	Scrunch and blowing.
	What I do best.
	David was married to Lori Leonard from 93 to 207.
	They have two daughters whom they co-parent.
	Romy and David.
	But wait a minute.
	93 to 2007.
	So say they had the kids in 95.
	Kids are too old to be co-parented.
	They're in their 25s, right?
	Laura and Larry became contributing bloggers at the Huffington Post 2005.
	Yeah.
	David met Ashley Underwood, whom he met at Sasha Baron Cohen's birthday party.
	On October 7th, 2020, he married her.
	Wait, he married her seven years.
	Oh, no, sorry.
	I'm still.
	Three years after meeting her.
	Yeah.
	You were in an article in the New York Times, blah, blah, blah.
	David is Jewish, identifies as atheist, so he's not Jewish.
	When did he divorce her?
	He married her in 20.
	Oh, wait.
	Oh, he's got a new wife.
	That's the new one, I guess, from 2017.
	I see.
	So he just got married.
	Boy, I'm fucking stupid.
	This slick son of a gun.
	So wait a minute.
	Go back.
	So I'm wrong.
	The one that he divorced was the oldie, the one that he'd been with since 93.
	Okay.
	And 2007.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I think I was getting confused by the show where he was just divorced.
	That show's fucking funny, man.
	You ever see that?
	It's my favorite show.
	It's a great show, man.
	All right.
	This was an interesting COVID fact.
	We're almost done the show here, folks.
	COVID vaccines do nothing.
	6-1.
	This is from my old boss at Blaze, Tyler Cardin.
	It's kind of hard to get through the statistical jargon of this.
	Deaths within 60 days of a positive test.
	Ignore the by date of death four weeks 37 through 40, disregarding the 29-link deaths.
	So deaths within 60 days of a positive test.
	Not vaccinated, 701, 20%.
	Vaccinated with one or two doses, 2,793, 80%.
	That's a pretty big fucking deal.
	Why aren't we talking about that?
	Pretty amazing, huh?
	Because it's all fake.
	It's all a pantomime, the pandemic pantomime.
	None of this is real.
	It's all about control.
	It's all about power.
	Just like the montage I showed you at the beginning of this segment where they're mad at Joe because he's wielding power and he's influencing people.
	They don't like that.
	They want to retain the influence.
	Or Lori Lightfoot, 6'3, this woman makes us wear masks.
	Everyone in Chicago needs a mask, especially at a busy sports event.
	So who imposed a mask mandate on all of Chicago?
	Not her.
	Not him.
	Yep, that's me.
	You're probably wondering how I ended up in this situation.
	Nope.
	Nope.
	Nope.
	Yep, that's me.
	That's a great trope.
	You know what I see when I look at Lori Lightfoot besides Beetlejuice?
	I see a class president.
	She's still a class president.
	That's her background.
	She was the class president when she was in high school.
	And that's what this is to her.
	It's just a giant yearbook assignment.
	That's how she's running Chicago, the way a little kid would run a high school.
	You know what I see when I see Lori Lightfoot?
	Are you going to do a Beetlejuice joke?
	Oh.
	This little guy.
	Okay, out of focus.
	A. B, she doesn't look like that.
	Anymore.
	What?
	What do you mean anymore?
	I think she does.
	With the eyes?
	Wear a mask.
	Nope.
	That joke reeks.
	All right, let's get to the mailbag.
	Better late than never.
	Ryan, shut up.
	You don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	You know what I did on Monday?
	What was it?
	I said, it's Amish Mondays.
	No phones, kids.
	I take them at midnight and I give them back at midnight.
	Nice.
	And what?
	Are you Mr. Popular?
	When that happens?
	What the fuck?
	Midnight, midnight?
	A buddy of mine, Proud Boy, just sent me a text.
	You familiar with Blackpilled?
	His name is Devin Tracy.
	Great content and production.
	Wait, his name is not Devin Tracy.
	That's a different guy, Blackpilled.
	It's pretty good.
	He's not Devin Tracy.
	Devin Tracy is Devin Tracy.
	Who is AIU?
	Who's a kangaroo?
	Anyway, I'm not popular with the kids.
	I'm not a hit with my new idea.
	And he goes, why are we doing this stupid idea, my teenage boy?
	And I said, because cell phones are a vice.
	And just like Lent, it's good to separate yourself occasionally from your vices and gauge how addicted you are.
	I said, the entire world lived without cell phones up until a few years ago.
	You can try it once a week.
	But, and then my daughter's trying to trick me, and my wife is, you know, she's agreeable, so she's on their side.
	My daughter's like, What if my guidance counselor texts me and we have to have a meeting?
	If you are at your beck and call of your guidance counselor and he gets to text you and you show up immediately, no.
	Well, she has to arrange to meet her friends and they never know where they're going to eat.
	Okay, well, tell them on Sunday or eat alone.
	But they don't know where they're going to be.
	She's going to eat alone.
	Okay.
	There were worse losses at sea, as my grandmother would say.
	But yeah, I think it's a success, judging by how incredibly unpopular it is with 100% of my family.
	That means that you're addicted.
	If I said no white socks on Mondays, they'd be like, okay.
	Who cares?
	Wait, the team?
	What?
	The team, the white socks?
	No.
	The things you put on your feet to stop your shoes from stinking.
	Oh, okay.
	Maddie Odell the simp.
	Uh-oh.
	The original BM, the OGBM is being called out.
	You ready for this?
	Gavin Nott, McNott, Guinness, and Rye Queen.
	Wow, we're all getting it from this guy.
	This guy's heard.
	From Brad.
	You guys don't mind if I say your first names, right?
	You're not going to lose your job because someone tracked you down using your first name.
	Maddie's simping on Twitter to A Secret Darling is out of control.
	This is all one word at the at.
	A serial daily liker of her slutty pics.
	He needs an intervention on Thursday's app, dude.
	Let's see.
	Okay.
	She's a Westchester milking table massage edging expert.
	What does that mean?
	Is that when you put your dick through a hole and they pull it?
	This might be not safe for work, everybody.
	What's a milking table?
	I think that's what you said.
	It's a table where they get down to brass tacks.
	So she blurs her face, but then she shows her face?
	What is edging?
	Edging is when you don't blast off.
	So wait a minute.
	You can go to her.
	You put your dick through a hole in a board.
	And she jerks you off to you almost chiz, and then you walk away.
	Wait, how do they know that she's followed by Matty?
	Is this what you're into, Maddie?
	He clicks like on that.
	That's funny.
	He's going to beat our asses because we're exposed.
	Oh, he does like...
	Yeah, if you look at his likes, there are a few.
	Wait, wait, what are people saying to him?
	Go back up.
	Go back up.
	Someone's talking.
	Baby Monster checking in.
	Thanks for letting us baby monsters know how to follow you.
	Gavin McInnis has over 22,000 followers on Gab.
	Agent Pat Dixon, why is he promoting that trash app, Getter?
	I've never been to Gab before.
	I've never tried it.
	I think we gave it a shot and then we gave up.
	Don't be that guy, says Jamie.
	Powerful anti-sexual violence video targets men.
	Okay, well, if it's targeting men, it should probably focus on Hispanic men.
	Because judging by the time I went to court to support a friend, it was 100% Hispanics.
	And out of the two hours in court, the first hour was in Spanish.
	Actually, there was one black woman.
	She was there because she beat up a rabbi.
	Can you show the video at some time this century?
	Ever called a gold doll?
	What?
	Whistled at her walking down the street.
	Ever stared at a woman on a boss?
	Said to your mate, don't do that.
	I can't.
	She gave a beautiful accompliment.
	Like nice.
	And wondered why you didn't get a thank you.
	Ever slid into a girl's DMs?
	I went ahead and just showed her it.
	You ever bought a lasted dinner?
	Stop.
	Wait a minute.
	The only bad thing here has been showing a girl a dick pic.
	The rest, looking at a girl on the bus or saying privately to your friend that you'd like to fuck a chick.
	We can't do that.
	The only thing that's bad here is the dick pic.
	And felt that meant she owed you something.
	Okay, that's bad, I guess.
	Do something.
	You ever got three shots in a row hoping you'd get a shot of her?
	Then, what?
	Bundled her waisted into a taxi and took her back to yours?
	No, did you?
	You ever guilt tripped her?
	What pressured her?
	Or pushed her into it.
	And then left feeling like a lad.
	A lad?
	Most men don't look in the mirror and see a problem.
	But it's staring us right in the face.
	Hey, guys, if women didn't have sex drunk, none of you would be born.
	I'm sorry.
	Sexual violence starts long before you think it does.
	What a guy.
	Yeah, sexual violence is definitely bad.
	Oh, Ezra.
	Hi, welcome back to the show.
	Oh, hey, Gavin.
	Okay, that was fun.
	Gavin, yesterday you were discussing how strange it is to see these popular TikTokers who act like provocative little girls.
	Did you ever listen to the radio show Loveline with Dr. Drew and Adam Corolla?
	They had an unspoken but very obvious game they would play when a woman called in and spoke in a little girl voice.
	Dr. Drew would try to guess at what age she had been sexually abused.
	If she sounded like a four-year-old, he'd guess her age.
	If she sounded like an eight-year-old, he'd guess that age.
	Sorry, that age, he said the first time.
	Then Adam would jump in and start asking about her history of abuse.
	Dr. Drew was often right, or at least very close.
	And a lot of the girls would initially deny any abuse, but after being asked a few times, would admit that a family member had abused them, starting at age fill-in-the-blank.
	That's fascinating.
	I bet that chick, the number one TikTok Girl was abused at five.
	Yeah.
	She's from the Philippines or some shitty country like that where they have military service.
	So I'm sure it's not even like frowned upon.
	Whenever I see Miley Cyrus Ademi Lovato acting like angry teenagers, I just think that's a product of stunted development due to their abuse.
	I've heard other Disney actors say that no kid makes it through Disney without being sexually abused.
	It's likely that these TikTokers are suffering from the same stunted development due to abuse, and anime culture really rewards that behavior.
	It's gross and sad.
	Yeah, I brought in anime into the discussion yesterday, and I guess I implied that it was anime's fault,
	but it's a chicken or the egg.
	I think they go to anime because they can identify with that kind of behavior because they've infantilized themselves from the trauma of sexual assault.
	I don't like this subject.
	I don't like this subject.
	But we got to cover it today.
	Can I bid on these auctions and get them sent to Edinburgh?
	In Scotland, Junkie Central, dear fucking Edinburgh.
	Yes, you can, but we charge shipping.
	And it's kind of expensive to go overseas because I pack the drawings in cardboard.
	I don't just fold them or anything, obviously.
	So they're in stiff cardboard.
	So it ships like a document.
	Yeah, that's definitely the best way to do it.
	Okay, this looks like it's not safe for work.
	Dear fags of the zone, I heard you discuss the idea of a way to get the wife to love the daily beach.
	That may not happen anytime soon.
	Here in the Netherlands, several studies have shown that a good beach and a full swallow is a great way to reduce the chance of getting a miscarriage among various health benefits in the articles below.
	On social media, jokes are being made, blah, blah, blah.
	Okay, that's good to know.
	You should tell your wife that.
	Oh, not you, Ezra.
	Sorry.
	Oh, yeah, I wouldn't tell her about that, Gavin.
	Okay, scroll down.
	Apparently, your friend Alok is performing in the New York Comedy Festival.
	I did not know this guy was a comedian.
	Sorry, he goes, I did not know they is a comedian.
	It looks like they is doing two shows.
	Tickets are $40.
	I think there's literally only one ticket left.
	Alok is going to sell out.
	So let's go through these pictures.
	Have you got the pics?
	Michael Rappaport, not remotely amusing, a fake New Yorker whose daddy owned a comedy club and gave him a career.
	Michelle Wolf, she got abortion banned by flaunting how fun it is to murder babies.
	And that went, that made America go, all right, this shit is getting out of hand.
	And now we have Texas.
	So we actually like Michelle Wolf because she's so incompetent that she ends up furthering the conservative cause.
	So she saved tens of thousands of babies with her shitty, horrible, screeching, shrill comedy.
	John Lovett, I don't know him.
	Do you?
	No.
	I know John Lovitts.
	He's sub-John Lovitts.
	I've never heard of John Lovett.
	And you haven't either?
	You're kind of a comedy guy.
	A little bit, but no, no, no.
	Okay.
	Amanda Seals, smart, funny, and black.
	Don't forget I'm black.
	So she definitely sucks.
	No, she's one of the funniest people out there in this motherficker, dude.
	Have some respect on her name, for Christ's sakes.
	Sorry, Michael.
	Nick Kroll, funny dude.
	No denying that.
	I'm not nuts about his cartoon that constantly talks about children's sex lives.
	But no one can deny that he's really talented, especially his Canadian guy.
	Brian Regan, one of the funniest people ever.
	Gary Goldman.
	I mean, I'm annoyed that he sits there and tells people how to live their lives when he's killed himself many times.
	But you can't deny that he's one of the greats, especially when he starts attacking food like pineapples and fruit salad and stuff.
	Bill Maher, brutally overrated, laughs at his own jokes.
	He makes the audience laugh.
	He makes his panel laugh with him.
	He sits with his panel, and then they do that awkward laugh because they're sitting next to him and they have to.
	That's a cringe.
	And then we have a lock.
	Now, this is the man who said, you have a problem with trans people in bathrooms?
	Fuck you.
	You know, your daughter isn't this little princess, this asexual princess.
	She's got her own libido.
	So he's talking about your eight-year-old daughter and saying, you think I'm the one molesting her?
	Maybe she's molesting me.
	And I have a friend who does a clothing line that he modeled.
	It's for fat people.
	And she stopped being my friend.
	She said that I spent, I lost, my brother wouldn't speak to me for weeks at a time.
	Sorry, she said, I can't tell you how many times my brother and I stopped talking because I defended you, but I can no longer do that.
	I keep waiting for you.
	We've all heard this, right?
	Your sister's probably said it to you.
	I keep waiting for you to say this is Andy Kaufman and it's all a big joke and you were just pretending and ha ha jokes on you.
	And I always say, okay, give me evidence of this Andy Kaufman character.
	What did he say?
	What have I said that you went, what the fuck?
	He must be kidding.
	I guarantee you, if you bring me something and it's shocking, you're not presenting it in context.
	Anyway, later on, my judge just gave up on trying to convince her that she's wrong.
	And my last text to her was, okay, so we're done.
	And we were friends in college.
	I've known her since 88.
	I go, Okay, so we're done because I support Trump.
	And a lock is cool.
	He's working for you.
	He's your model.
	And he's talking about how bitches in bathrooms are asking for it.
	Children are asking to get raped, basically.
	Like, how did that not cancel him?
	Isn't that amazing?
	Let's check out his comedy.
	I want to see a lock.
	I want to suck his lock.
	A lock of his hair.
	A lock of Edmund on.
	Just do a lock, I bet, stand up.
	Let me guess.
	This is going to be not funny.
	It's a theory.
	I would bet.
	Oh, fuck.
	How much would I bet?
	That would be fun.
	I just instinctively want to say 100 grand.
	But I would kill myself if I lost 100 grand to a lock being funny.
	No stand-ups?
	Stand-up looking.
	We are nothing, and that is beautiful.
	Okay, that's a TED talk.
	Beating in brown.
	What about this?
	Okay.
	Here we go.
	There's a photo of me at maybe 8 or 9 back home on the fridge.
	I'm wearing a plaid tie, matching cardigan, and a pair of dimples.
	This is the kind of photo my family has selected for commemoration because it reminds adults of words like innocence.
	It's a type of photo you can mail across the ocean say, look how happy we are here.
	We made it.
	This photo was taken during my elementary school's Living History Museum, which was this really weird and awkward event where they made all the little kids pretend to be some famous dead person.
	We stood still until the parents came by and pressed our button.
	Then we matched it.
	So this is a shitty, boring poem about how I'm so brown.
	I chose not comedy.
	I do find it funny.
	It's funny to look at.
	Funny looking.
	Yeah.
	I don't think he's ever done comedy before.
	Maybe he's going to do poetry.
	Oh, God.
	I kind of want to go in disguise.
	There's a joke in my culture that we never smile in our family photographs.
	You see, there is no need to smile because a photo is merely a ritual we do in public, as if family is some sort of timeline that we're creating together.
	Today, my grandmother is turning somewhere between 84 and 86 years old.
	And she has no clothes because I stole them all.
	Imagine being that's father.
	So she'd be more eligible for shoot.
	So today we are celebrating the fact that my grandmother was born at negative two and still managed to survive.
	We spend hours deciding what to wear for the family photo.
	So this is all memorized, scripted.
	In black socks.
	And boring.
	I'm going to convince him I'm a comedy writer.
	I'm like, can I punch up your jokes?
	It requires a lot more punching than one would think.
	All right, that's enough.
	A lock sucks.
	Surprise, surprise.
	I just made 100 grand.
	Time to celebrate.
	Let's get to the final video on this super long, extra long, crazy long episode.
	So at the end of the show, we always say get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	It seemed, I mentioned this the other day, it seemed weird when we first said it.
	Get fired?
	Why?
	I love my job.
	Does Gavin want me to just be such a dick I get fired?
	No.
	But I did say be yourself and have values and don't hide.
	Don't be someone else.
	And in this vax hysteria, that mentality has become more important than ever.
	And we are seeing people who are forced to be vax quitting their job.
	And I don't think these people are quitting their job because they're scared the vax is going to kill them.
	I think these people are quitting their jobs because they think it's unconstitutional to be forced to take a drug, to be forced an injection.
	It's not ethical.
	So these guys are saying, fuck it.
	Now I think this guy, I think his wife is a dispatcher.
	So they sort of prepared this getting fired together.
	This is my final sign-off.
	After 22 years of serving the citizens of the state of Washington, being asked to leave because I am dirty.
	Numerous fatalities, injuries.
	I've worked sick.
	I've played sick.
	We've buried lots of friends over these years.
	I'd like to thank you guys.
	I'd like to thank the citizens of Yakima County as well as my fellow officers within the valley.
	Without you guys, I wouldn't have been very successful.
	And you've kept me safe and got me home to my family every night.
	Thank you for that.
	Wish I could say more, but this is it.
	So, State 1034, this is the last time you'll hear me in a State Patrol car.
	And Jay Ansley can kiss my ass.
	1034, thank you for your 22 years and five-month of service to the citizens of Washington State.
	You have taken on many roles in your time at the patrol.
	In your first year, you delivered a baby while on patrol in Bremerton.
	You've been a DRE, DRE instructor, certified technical specialist, and reconstructionist, peer support member, part of the chaplainship board, and a CBD trooper.
	You have been a great role model and mentor for all young troopers serving in the area by sharing your knowledge and experience throughout the years.
	Thank you for your service.
	1906.
	Pretty badass, huh?
	Hell yeah.
	Talk about going out in a blaze of glory.
	That's how to do it, folks.
	Whether you think the vaccine is going to help you or not, if you think that being forced to be vaxed is unethical, un-American, a violation of your human rights, then don't allow it.
	You have to stay true to who you are.
	You know, the other day I got a parking ticket and I know a cop in the station who could maybe make it go away.
	And I thought, I don't want to ask this guy to do that.
	I was parked illegally.
	I was in the wrong.
	I'll pay the ticket.
	You know, you have to live with character.
	You have to be a moral person.
	My wife got the car banged up the other day.
	She pulled out too soon.
	Someone hit her.
	That's our family's problem.
	I got to pay for that.
	I don't want any insurance scams.
	I want to be a handshake guy.
	I want my kids to go, oh, if my dad gives you his word, it's a big deal.
	Oh, if he shakes your hand, it's in.
	I want to be able to say to people, you have my word that this won't happen or will happen.
	I want them to go, oh, fuck.
	Well, that's a done deal then.
	That's what you want.
	That's the goal here.
	And part of that is quitting your job if they make you do something that you think is unethical and wrong.
	That guy's got fucking balls, and so do you.
	So get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	And late once they will serve you till the night becomes a day.
	So Arnold Lane could see Emily play.

▲