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Sept. 3, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:00:18

GOML LIVE #113 - IT'S RAINING MEN

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Time	Text
	I never asked for a free ride live from New York.
	It's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.
	At least I showed up, you showed me nothing at all.
	It's coming down on me.
	Water like misery.
	It's coming down on me.
	I'm ready, rain on.
	I'd rather be dry, but at least I'm a lot rain on me.
	I'd rather be dry, but at least I'm a lot rain on me.
	Whoa.
	Oh, it's a bad.
	I'd rather be dry, but at least I'm alive.
	Rain on me.
	That was, of course, the legendary Frankie Grande, Ariana Grande's brother, who I think might be gay.
	What gave you that impression?
	I have a super advanced gaydar.
	I can just tell.
	And I look at him and I feel the vibes.
	And I'm like, definitely, well, I shouldn't say definitely.
	Nothing's definite, but definite gay vibes.
	Look at this interview.
	Now, tell me if this confirms my suspicions.
	I sent it to in another email.
	He was on ABC, USA Today, ABC, MBC, Morning America, fucking waking up and having a coffee and gossiping instead of working.
	Being a mom is the toughest job.
	You can tell by the TV they watch as we're working our axes off.
	As you're driving a truck through torrential rainfall, having to go down an exit in the opposite direction.
	They're at home watching this after having prepared some school lunches.
	Frankie Grande.
	Send her.
	Thank you, Neg.
	I know, and you're such a good friend, too.
	She loves you and she loves your support.
	Thank you, Neg.
	Thank you.
	Next.
	Thank you.
	Next.
	Was it good that I was like kind of on tune?
	Yeah, you were.
	You're doing an amazing job.
	These are minstrels.
	Just pause.
	Say he's going through cancer treatment or he's, you know, say he's abandoned on a cliff for three days.
	He's not talking like that.
	He's not like, oh my God, you guys, I need to get some food or something because I'm literally like literally, literally, literally starving to death.
	So it's an affectation and it's annoying.
	Anyway, go back.
	You recently revealed also that you are part of a thruffle.
	Do tell us more.
	Yes.
	I am.
	Puts his paws down like that.
	What is that?
	I'm a puppy.
	I can't even.
	So it's confirmed.
	My suspicions were correct.
	He is a gay.
	A couple.
	Yeah, it's a thruffle.
	So it is, so I'm dating two married men.
	They're wonderful.
	Mike and Daniel, a doctor and a lawyer.
	You got both.
	I love it when normal people try to make homosexuality normal too.
	And they're like, I'm married.
	I mean, I'm dating a married couple.
	No, you're not.
	They're not married.
	None of this is real.
	You're gays.
	You have your own world going on.
	I'm not trying to ban it.
	It's none of my beeswax.
	But it's not a normal world.
	No one's dating a married couple here on Earth.
	No.
	It's fake.
	You're LARPing.
	You're playing house.
	Oh, you got a doctor and a lawyer.
	You got both.
	That's exactly like when my mother said to me as a young lady that I should marry a doctor or a lawyer.
	It's the same.
	Yeah.
	It's just the same.
	You're just, gays, they're just like us.
	What are you doing?
	Keep going.
	Real food.
	I got both.
	And also, like, I've been single for nine years.
	So, like, I was very open to Japanese Annie Mae.
	And I was very open to the possibilities of, like, you know, like, what does love look like?
	Like, what could love be like?
	Oh, we went to Harry Potter together because they're pedophiles.
	It was like we met each other and it was like we had common interests.
	Like, who hit on him?
	We all loved dicks.
	Grande love.
	Frankie Grande or Grande Love?
	What the fuck is his name even now?
	No, no, no, no.
	His name's Frankie Grande.
	Okay.
	This is like a subhead.
	They just are, they're wasting their lower third with just random crap.
	He gives subhead.
	Well, I was hosting a charity.
	Meanwhile, all three of those hosts are purposely blocking out the intercourse that goes on with this thruple and the disgusting jizbaths they have.
	And the black guy is like, This is disgusting.
	I'm a pole.
	The black guy's like, I quit.
	I'll go to church and shit.
	Do I have to sit here for this one?
	He's like, the guys are going to fucking rake me over the cold.
	The lucky Pierre is in that group.
	Ugh.
	And they were at the front table right in the front.
	So it was kind of like those cosmic sparks.
	Oh, the romance.
	Batting my eyelashes hard.
	That was.
	Who pays?
	So when you go out, do you have to treat...
	Is there like a leader?
	No, no, no.
	I mean, they do take care of me a lot.
	They do pay for things a lot, which is what you're doing.
	You're a whore.
	He's a dildo.
	You're a fucking human dildo.
	You loser piece of garbage trash.
	You know, you think, you meet the biggest heterosexual slut woman in the world, and you're like, oh, God, this is so sad, your poor father.
	Then you meet a gay slut, and it's just like, you're barely human.
	You know what?
	He's sub-Dan Harmon's real doll.
	Because that thing doesn't have volition to walk out of this situation.
	They're kind of the same as real dolls.
	You have to hoses.
	Do they have souls?
	Do they go to heaven?
	Do they go to hell?
	How do they clean you out, Frankie?
	They use a hose.
	They drag me onto it.
	I've been for nine years, so this is all new for me, right?
	Yeah, like it's pretty new for us as a society, and it's new for these dumb, fucking bitch, glamour housewives, and this poor black dude pretending that it's not disgusting and wrong and doomed, invariably doomed.
	It's not like they're going to have a happy family and be around in 20 years.
	Anyway, that brings us to the normal world.
	As a conservative, as a normal right-of-center human being, as a not-lefter, you want to meet someone.
	I was just working on this project today, and I was talking about Deploraball and Night for Freedom, Night of Freedom that Cernovich put on, where after Trump was elected, young conservatives wanted to meet in romance.
	And Antifa was outside hurling bottles, batteries, feces, piss, sending Antifa down, demanding they come downstairs and be killed.
	At one point, this old Jewish guy said, all right, I'll come outside.
	I didn't do anything wrong.
	They beat him mercilessly into cardiac arrest, strangled him.
	David Campbell, the Antifa responsible, spent a year in Rikers, where he is right now, serving his sentence.
	Pathetic sentence.
	It's no Max and John for four years.
	But anyway, the point is, as a conservative, it's hard to find someone.
	If you don't live in the deep south, then go to a megachurch.
	Drome is here to meet your needs.
	It's the place to meet conservative girls.
	Most dating apps are terrible.
	They're superficial face-swiping apps.
	And then they are the quote-unquote expert matching apps.
	Both usually waste your time.
	The solution is values-based matching.
	If you're right-wing, things probably aren't going to work out with someone who's a total lefty.
	Same with religion, lifestyle, how to raise children, and other core conservative values.
	Sure, the right person might change to meet you where you are in life, but why not just find the perfect match from the start?
	Drome is the best free new values-based dating app.
	You pick deal breakers and deal makers.
	There are no experts in match percentages, and you don't have to addictively check the app.
	As soon as someone matches your deal breakers and deal makers, and you match theirs, you get a notification.
	If you don't find a deal breaker or a deal maker that's important to you, you can add your own anonymously.
	Drome is also video-only for more human interactions.
	Go to drome.date slash gavin in your phone's browser.
	Click the iOS or Google button to install and use the invite code Gavin to set up.
	If you're already matched up, tell your friends and get your boyfriend or girlfriend to tell their friends.
	That's drom.date slash Gavin.
	Drom.
	Design and meet your perfect match.
	It's free to use.
	That's drom.date slash gavin.
	You know, my wife, well, she was a liberal.
	I don't know what she is now, now that these liberal nut bars have terrorized our family for five years.
	But back when I met my wife, and sort of for all of American history, outside of the Vietnam War, I assume, I don't remember those years, it didn't really matter what your political proclivities were because we weren't in the midst of an American divorce.
	So you'd meet a girl, you could say something like, fucking close the borders, speak English.
	I used to wear a shirt that said speak English had an American flag on it.
	I made it myself.
	And everyone would just roll their eyes.
	Oh, gap.
	What will he think of next, that nut?
	And now, you know, you wear a MAGA hat in New York City, and it's either fight or at best, kick me out of the bar.
	Remember Jovi Val, who was caught wearing a MAGA hat at a bar?
	He got bottled in the face.
	His face was slit open.
	And he got it repaired by a MAGA surgeon.
	It was all over the New York Post.
	And then Jovi went insane and became a real Nazi, a bonafide Nazi.
	Jesus.
	He became emotionally disturbed, I think, from the attention, from the whole thing, from the attack.
	And after being...
	PTSD.
	What?
	PTSD.
	Well, he became kind of ostracized amongst his Puerto Rican friends for being pro-Trump.
	And they drove him out.
	And then he just became a Nazi.
	This shirt I'm wearing is not sitting well with me.
	I feel like a mime.
	Yeah, there he is.
	I was like, he was really, really upset about it.
	I'm like, oh, dude, it's cool.
	You have a cut.
	All women get sopping wet when they see a facial scar.
	He's like, yeah, I'll give you one then.
	And that's when I thought, uh-oh, are we starting to lose this guy?
	Yeah.
	He's getting a bit mental.
	Now he wears an actual swastika medallion.
	Jeez.
	Goes to protest with a swastika sign while the rest of us are going, we're not Nazis.
	You're getting it all wrong.
	He's like, no, you got it right.
	I'm a Puerto Rican Nazi.
	Jesus.
	In the news, by the way, we have torrential rainfall.
	Last night, I drove home to check my house.
	My wife's out of town.
	I was working late.
	It was like a, you know those maze games you play where you go, no, I can't go that way.
	That's a dead end.
	So I take the maze home and I see a puddle near my house.
	I think I can do this.
	I'm in a small car, BMW.
	I rock it through the puddle.
	Then there's a second one.
	I'm right next to my house, but there's a big ass puddle there.
	And I just go, hey, kit, you got this?
	Little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little, little.
	What's that from?
	Nightrider.
	Whoa.
	Yep.
	Not bad for a young buck.
	Yep, Knight Rider.
	How do you know that?
	Well, you know, everyone knows the Hoff.
	I love the.
	30-year-olds?
	To be honest, it's from I Love the 80s from VH1.
	They taught me a lot.
	Taught me a lot.
	It's not really knowledge.
	This is like today we're in the car because I'm dealing with this getting this car towed.
	I'm ruining the end of the story.
	But I go, he goes, I love Costco.
	I save so much money on gas.
	And I go, okay.
	And he goes, hey, you know what?
	Next time we need Gatorade, just let me know and I'll get some.
	I'm like, what do you mean?
	We always need Gatorade.
	We have a storage room.
	Next time you're there, buy some Gatorade.
	Okay, well, give me some money and I'll buy Some and I go, you can just buy it and I'll pay you back.
	Whatever the company will pay you back.
	He goes, Okay, I can do that on consignment if you want.
	I'm like, that's not what consignment means.
	No, consignment is when you get something for free and then you sell it, then you give the money back.
	No, no, isn't it?
	No, it's like if I had a motorcycle and Gavin says, Hey, let me try to sell the bike for you.
	I give it to Gavin on consignment.
	He takes possession of it, tries to sell it, and then pays me and keeps it properly.
	I get like 20, I don't know, 10 to 20 percent.
	If you have a store, then you can either buy merchandise and fill it up with merchandise that you bought and now you want to make your money back, or you don't own it, like a pawn shop, and then you fill it with other people's property.
	You sell it and then you take a commission.
	So it's there on consignment.
	Why am I explaining this?
	There's not a lot of 12-year-olds up right now.
	There shouldn't be.
	It's your bedtime, kids.
	But I hit the second one, and Kit did not have my back.
	He let me down.
	And I heard a bang.
	I felt a bang, too.
	Now, the bang is one of two things.
	One is I drifted off and I couldn't see the edge and I hit a curb.
	I don't think there's big curbs there.
	So that's a concern.
	I thought it was my rim hitting the curb.
	The other possibility is I got air sucked into the intake and I got, what's it called, hydro lock.
	And one of the pistons just drove through the engine wall.
	In which case, the car is toast.
	Yep.
	Now, I got insurance.
	I'll get a new one of equal value, but still feels like a big deal for a puddle to end your...
	I think that car was like $45,000.
	$40, $45,000.
	$40, $40, $4, $45.
	$45, $45.
	But I got off easy, judging by the newspapers today.
	I was just reading about some Asian guy in Queens, 50-year-old with a two-year-old.
	They were just drowned in their apartment, the whole family.
	They had one exit.
	They weren't strong enough to open the door because it opens out and the water had filled up.
	So it was like opening one of those emergency exit doors in a plane when it's in orbit, when it's in the air.
	They couldn't open it.
	So he drazound.
	Yep.
	Terrible.
	I mean, part of your brain goes, man, maybe this is to weaken the blow and dilute the horror.
	But part of your brain goes, you couldn't have got out a little sooner?
	Basement apartment.
	Record-breaking rainfall.
	You couldn't have.
	Because there was a place in New Jersey where they got out.
	They go, this doesn't bode well.
	I think we might explode.
	So they got out and hours later, boom!
	Their whole house is gone.
	Gone.
	Gas leak, smithereens.
	Oh, there was tons.
	I was listening to the police scanner last night.
	Disaster.
	I don't get how there's so many explosions.
	Like cars bursting into flames.
	Yeah.
	The gas, oil tanks, the burners, the hot water heaters, pilot lights.
	But how does a car burst into flames from getting too wet?
	If the water knocks out the pilot lights, then gas is just filling up the house.
	Right, I get that.
	I get the house.
	But the cars, like you show some of Maddie's footage.
	You had those cars on fire.
	Where was that?
	In Rye.
	In Rye.
	That was the windows breaking in the car.
	Don't know what caused the fire.
	I can't figure it out because that's in the day, today, when it was dry as a boom.
	But yeah, I know people who lost all their cars.
	I lost a motorcycle.
	Rest in peace.
	That puppy?
	That puppy there is submerged under probably six feet of water.
	Right now?
	No.
	Today, yeah.
	Really?
	Yeah, it hasn't drained.
	Well, I guess it subsided a little bit, but it's still fucked.
	Why did a guy build a motorcycle garage in the bottom of a crater?
	Well, it's near one of my favorite places to eat Chipotle.
	In that neighborhood.
	Oh, really?
	That neighborhood.
	Look at that.
	Where my motorcycle is is the next block behind that.
	That's a car wash.
	So by 95.
	And if you zoom in, Rye, you see right next to that tree?
	Oh, yeah.
	Zoom in closer.
	That's a car floating.
	Holy shit.
	That's Mamaronek.
	Yeah.
	That is a car floating under the water.
	So that building there, it's toast.
	That's Yonkers, right?
	Yeah, that's Central Avenue.
	That's a video.
	I mean, I think we got it as bad as NOLA.
	That's insane.
	That's a fucking major river.
	And I'm naive.
	I always think, oh, well, the car got wet.
	Just drain it.
	And then it'll run like new.
	But, no.
	All the electronics, everything in it, toast.
	Toast.
	The only, oh yeah, that's our buddy's.
	That's our buddy's car.
	Now he's insured, right?
	Yeah.
	That's his Mercedes that was fully submerged, like that car in the picture by the car wash.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	Pull up the Instagram account, WhatISNew York?
	Oh, yeah.
	Because the subways in New York City, I got to change this shirt.
	I can't look at myself.
	I feel like a dance instructor.
	What is New York shows the New York City subways?
	And I read a pretty good explanation of it.
	They go, aren't these things waterproof?
	And someone goes, yeah, they're designed to handle the kind of storm that happens every 25, 30 years.
	This was a hundred-year storm.
	So we can't design everything to be 100-year-proof, although we used to.
	Go to the top left.
	Let's just go through them.
	That one's stupid.
	Next.
	This one's weird.
	What the fuck is he doing?
	Digging drainage holes?
	I think so.
	From where to where?
	Oh, you know, looking at these videos, I realized there should be a product, an emergency product, that's like an anvil.
	It's 240 pounds, and it's just rubber, and you can stick that in your toilet.
	Hmm.
	Ah, no, good.
	Wouldn't that explode the pipes?
	Well, they go by the point for least resistance.
	Hell, the pipes aren't going to explode.
	Oh, Jesus.
	Queen's got it bad.
	Yeah, there was numerous reports of people in there by that car wash where the car was floating.
	People were getting rescued out of the speedway across the street from the roof.
	People were getting evacuated from the second heat.
	Look.
	That's my invention.
	But an airtight, sort of a foreskin seal at the base that goes and seals it.
	And then the 240 pounds of lead.
	That's going to destroy that, the quick crete.
	Oh.
	Second floor water rescues were going on last night in my neighborhood.
	Fucking crazy.
	Go to the next one.
	Look at that.
	What is she doing here?
	She's pushing the water down the stairwells.
	I guess prevented it from going into her house.
	Oh, right through the ceiling.
	Keep going.
	Wow.
	This is worse than Sandy.
	Yeah.
	Like, Sandy was brutal for Breezy Point and, you know, Rockaways.
	But we didn't get it so bad up here.
	Raining in my building.
	This has devastated Bronx, Westchester, everything.
	Three people died in Westchester.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	Two I own a college professors never made it home.
	Swept away.
	They found the husband.
	They haven't found the wife yet.
	I'm sorry, but I don't get that.
	Well, their car got pinned against a pole in the guardrail.
	I guess they decided to get out and try to seek higher ground and swept away.
	Whoa.
	You're not going to stop water.
	Currently.
	No.
	Yeah, I didn't think of that.
	That Yonkers River that you showed from your phone, that's a current.
	Yeah.
	You can't walk through that.
	Cars were literally getting picked up and floating down the street.
	If there's one picture, there's like a big, huge ice machine that's outside of gas stations and a pallet of propane that just have lifted up and floated down and then the water's receded.
	Look at that.
	Yeah.
	Not a fun time in the old New York last night.
	I said to my mechanic, I go, I heard a bang and he's like, that's a write-off.
	And I'm like, no, no, no, I could have hit the curb.
	And he goes, dude, what was it like when you opened the door and got out?
	I go, two salad bowls of water came into the front.
	And he's like, yeah, it's gone.
	Goodbye.
	There's the ice machine in the pallet of.
	Well, so I couldn't get to bed last night because the adrenaline of dealing with all this shit was so intense that my heart was fucking pounding.
	A Connecticut state trooper got killed, too.
	He drowned.
	Oh, really?
	Yep.
	Where were you?
	Home.
	Well, I was...
	You're on pretty high ground.
	Yeah, I was at the local watering hole until about 10.
	And then I got a phone call around midnight that my buddy was stuck in a puddle.
	His car died.
	He needed to get picked up.
	So I got out of bed and went and saved our buddy and drove him home.
	Which was a feat in itself trying to navigate the local roads because they were so...
	Yeah.
	No, driving was incredibly complicated.
	Because as you're driving and thinking of your routes, you're imagining them in your head and picturing what has the highest ground.
	Yeah.
	So you got this topographical map in your head of various heights.
	Yeah.
	Wow, look at that.
	I think we beat New Orleans for once in the Devastation Olympics.
	All right, let's get to other news.
	Nita Fashions is what I always wear on this show.
	You go to NitaFashions.com, right?
	N-I-T-A.
	That's the URL.
	But I've noticed that our viewers like to go to the Instagram and talk to them that way.
	The owner of Nita Fashions, which is the founder's son, very chatty guy.
	He wants to know about why you watch this show, what you like, what you don't like.
	He always sends me this data where he's like, your viewers want to talk about religion more and your faith.
	And they say you've been very misunderstood.
	But I had never worn tailored clothes before I started appearing on Fox News.
	One of the producers there turned me on to this guy back before the pandemic, obviously, when they would go to a hotel room and they just have people come in all day measuring them up.
	But they can still do this virtually.
	And this is the old school real tailors.
	You'll pay five to seven grand for this level of expertise here in America.
	I guess I'm not being very isolationist and nationalistic when I say 800 bucks.
	And the other problem with this level of tailoring in America is it's almost impossible to find.
	This trade is dying out.
	And if you're rich, it's a great place to set up a whole litany of suits.
	When you get too fat, they let them out.
	When you lose weight, they can take them in.
	And if you're not rich, you should have one great suit, one quality shirt for events, for funerals and weddings and shit like that.
	It really, it's not remotely uncomfortable.
	The reasons you don't like suits and you prefer t-shirts and sweatpants is because your suits don't fit.
	When you wear these suits, when you wear these shirts, you feel like you're wearing PJs.
	I put them on for the show and I don't take them off after the show because I don't notice that I'm wearing a tie and a blazer.
	I mean, and there's something painfully unprofessional about people who don't do their top button.
	They look like posers, they look insincere.
	If they're working with clients, whether you're a lawyer or a salesman, you Come across as disorganized and kind of a pussy that doesn't have your shit together.
	When you have your top button up with your tie snug against your neck and everything fits, you seem organized.
	It conveys a sense of order to the client, to the customer, which is what you need to make money.
	I don't want to give you my money, trust you with my money if you don't know what the fuck you're doing.
	Maybe these shirts are bothering me so much, Ryan, because the lighting is weird.
	And it's too dark.
	Are all the lights on?
	Yeah.
	All right.
	So, nitafashions.com.
	You can DM them through Instagram.
	They have a Twitter account, too, I assume you can DM them in.
	And they'll set up an appointment to measure you, give you your pajamas.
	You can have a $50 shirt.
	You can have a $150 shirt.
	It's all up to you.
	And once they get your sort of blueprint, then they can just send you textile swatches or you can look at them online and just say, what about a fucking plaid suit?
	Boom.
	It arrives from FedEx ready to rock.
	All right.
	We have a brief moment to discuss various news incidents.
	Oh, and then we'll get straight to the letter.
	But before we do, Joe Rogan got COVID.
	And the left is furious with him for pushing false information.
	The lies and false information are, well, see if you can pull up his announcement.
	These are the horrible bullshit things Joe Rogan is saying that the left has decided are incredibly dangerous.
	And we have everyone from journalists to Antifa to various left-wing pundits screaming blue murder at this man for saying what the fuck just happened to him.
	I got up in the morning, got tested, and turns out I got COVID.
	So we immediately threw the kitchen sink at it.
	All kinds of meds, monoclonal antibodies, ivermectin, ZPAC, prednisone, everything.
	And I also got an NAD drip and a vitamin drip, and I did that.
	This is Colbert's.
	Yes, I'm editorial.
	So here we are on Wednesday, and I feel great.
	Well, Colbert's right.
	He looks really bad.
	He has all kinds of shit shooting out of his face.
	So point taken, Stephen Colbert.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Joe Rogan didn't say take this shit.
	He didn't say it's a miracle cure.
	He said, I got this disease.
	I'm acknowledging it exists, by the way.
	I chose this particular treatment.
	I had a bad day and then I had two good days.
	Here's the crazy part that the fascist left doesn't understand.
	Take from that what you will.
	Pretty simple, folks.
	Hate it.
	Call it bullshit.
	Say I would have had a better time if I had been vaccinated or if I had done your treatment.
	That's fine.
	That's your right.
	I have a take on it personally.
	I have a feeling that he would have had the exact same progress with nothing.
	I've heard of the bad day and then the better day and then the okay day and then the fine.
	That seems to be the general story with healthy people.
	That's my personal opinion.
	You know the real tea?
	This nigga is vaccinated.
	Oh, yeah.
	So what the fuck?
	Isn't he vaccinated?
	I don't know.
	I'm pretty sure he's vaccinated.
	No, I don't think he is.
	Look it up.
	That's a major issue.
	Here's another deal.
	They make him look all pale and shitty.
	And this is the original video.
	Look at that.
	And then Colbert did the same thing.
	That's amazing.
	Yeah, he looks dead.
	And then he looks like a dead worm in that first pick.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Remember they did that with that bomber who was a relatively olive-skinned, half-Filipino Samoan something.
	Filipino.
	Who had Trump shit all over his car and was bombing things?
	And you look at the media and he looks like he's just been on a hell of a suntan burner.
	And then you see normal pictures of him.
	No, sorry, the opposite.
	He looks incredibly pale.
	And then you see other pictures of him and you realize that he's a very dark dude.
	Yeah.
	Like the rock after a vacation kind of skin color.
	Well, find out if he's vaccinated.
	That's a crucial detail.
	It said he dismissed vaccination as they're urging people.
	Maybe they speculate no.
	He hasn't revealed if he's vaccinated.
	Well, he's always said no because he does a regimen of supplementation and he's a very physically fit person.
	He says it's safe to assume that he is, says this one thing, because he has to do all the...
	Everybody who has to do the UFC thing has been vaccinated.
	Right?
	Remember that being a whole thing?
	Yeah.
	But he also could have a fake card.
	Because Dana White specifically said it.
	He goes, there's be no vaccination mandates in the UCL.
	Ryan, you got to look at the sources too.
	You're looking at distractify.com.
	Yeah, Dana White has specifically said that there is going to be no vaccination mandate within the UFC.
	Huh.
	Okay, well, that's all the news we have to say today, is that New York got rained out and Joe Rogan is in trouble for telling the truth.
	Let's fucking get into this Mail B. Ryan, shut up, you don't have a death.
	Let's turn our eyes together.
	Let me touch it.
	Maddie, knife quiz.
	Dear Maddie, why are you such a pussy?
	I'll meet you anytime.
	I'm actually on my way to the studio now to kick the shit out of you.
	I know where you live.
	No, just kidding.
	Maddie, I think you'd probably have good taste in knives considering you have had a karambit.
	Yeah.
	What's a karambit?
	It's a knife that's curved.
	It's a curved blade.
	That's when I said, I know you're the cops, and they go, he's bad news.
	And I go, why?
	And he goes, he opened the door when we came by his house and he had a knife to kill us.
	And then you go, no, I had a karambit.
	It severs tendons.
	It's totally legal.
	And I didn't know who was at the door.
	Right.
	Who's knocking on my door at four in the morning?
	You're both right.
	Yes, I have many karambits.
	Okay, so this viewer would like you to.
	What do you think of my knives?
	Are you a fan of cold steel?
	Yeah, cold steel is a good blade.
	Carbon blades.
	Very sharp knives.
	Are they like metal detector proof?
	The one that I opened the door with when the police were there that day, that was one you can get through metal detectors with it.
	But that was actually a cold steel.
	Carbon alerts.
	Like when I think of carbon, I think of carbon.
	But that's carbon steel.
	Oh, okay.
	The one I had was a polycarbonate, like a...
	Right there, that's the one I had.
	And that's plastic.
	No, no, no.
	That one's not because it's got a sharp blade on it.
	I can see the blade is sharpened.
	But those are some parameters.
	But some plastic ones, they'll shred you, kill you, cut you to pieces.
	You see that one right there?
	Well, right there doesn't work when we're looking at 200 pictures.
	This one?
	Yeah, it's like that, but it's made of composite material.
	Extremely sharp, though.
	So it could easily kill someone?
	Yeah, absolutely.
	I should take it next time I visit guys in prison.
	So what do you think of this guy's knife collection?
	Yeah, something there.
	Nice.
	No, he ain't better than that.
	You know, see that one in the bottom left?
	I've seen that confiscated at Antifa rallies by the police in Portland.
	Right.
	And I find it a particularly disturbing weapon because it implies that normal knives just can't get deep enough.
	I really want to get in there and grind.
	I'm not satisfied with just simply lacerating someone.
	They're abnormally sadistic.
	Okay, I just realized we've gone too long for the freebie shit.
	So now we're going to continue with some letters and take some calls and have a surprise that I'm not going to tell the freeloaders.
	Only people who pay $10 a month for censored.tv will get this surprise.
	And when we first started this, I was doing the show an hour and 20 minutes a day, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.
	That was it.
	$10 a month.
	Now, you could not possibly watch all the content we have on this network.
	It's a YouTube.
	And you get 2468, two hours a day from me Monday to Friday.
	So it just keeps adding up.
	In fact, I'm getting a little insecure because I get pushed down by all the new content.
	And people have to go to get off my lawn to see today's episode.
	But we've got Katie Hopkins, Dusty Bogan, two Jim Goad shows, Larry Barnes, Candace Owens, Wayne Dupree, Cornell West.
	The variety goes on and on and on.
	And it's only begun.
	Now that we've set up this new studio, we're going to be doing a lot more sit-downs with various guests and having long Joe Rogan-like episodes where we get deep, deep into things and say horrible things like the truth.
	So freebie, guys, goodbye.
	I'm going to bid fake adieu to the rest of you and say get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	Living in a world where no one's interested.
	Oh, well, at least we try.
	Gotta live my truth, not keep it bodily.
	So I don't lose my mind.
	Baby, I can feel it on my skin.
	Teardrops on my face.
	Let it wash away my...
	Like, it's one thing to be a depraved faggot and be a colostomy bag for some fake married couple's come.
	But to be on a morning show and be like, so I got some news.
	I'm in a thruple.
	It's normal.
	My dick, my asshole is ripped to shreds every night by two guys that were bored of fucking each other.
	And then the normal housewives have to go, that's great.
	So who pays when you go out to dinner?
	Well, they always pay for me.
	You're not normal.
	You're depraved.
	I see I'm used to depravity.
	So I'm not like clutching my pearls.
	It's the pretending it's normal that is annoying.
	It's not.
	It's sad, actually.
	Imagine that was your brother.
	Your brother goes, great news.
	And you're already okay with your gay brother.
	Great news.
	I'm fucking a married couple.
	And you just go, Joey, what's going on?
	You mean a heterosexual married couple?
	Oh, no.
	No, they're gay, and they fuck me all the time.
	They call me Lucky Pierre.
	In the middle.
	Our childhood wasn't perfect, but it was pretty good.
	Our parents were there for us.
	What happened to you?
	Oh, you're mad that I'm gay?
	No, you know I don't give a fuck about that, but you used to have a boyfriend.
	Used to be normal.
	Remember, you guys are fixing up that cabin upstate?
	That was normal, Joey.
	Now you're like doing these morning shows and singing our sister's music and letting fucking strangers fuck.
	They're not strangers.
	They're my husbands.
	I'm in a thruple.
	No, you're not.
	You're a sex doll.
	Fuck you!
	Why do you have an old-timey phone?
	It's the only one that fits up my ass.
	That's why.
	My iPhone's stuck in my foreskin.
	Hey, boys, check out Transparent Soul by Willow, featuring Travis Barker.
	You guys went over that black girl Twitter guitarist who's begging for money on censor, but she lied and pretended that was her song and put shitty rap on it.
	Yeah, yeah, we got a bunch of these letters.
	We don't need to hear it.
	We figured she was full of shit.
	This is from Shawnee, and it is James O'Keefe on Instagram.
	Project Veritas headquarters destroyed!
	Yeah, that's right next to the gas station.
	Oh, damn.
	Wow!
	We're located in the town of Mamaranek, New York.
	Mamarinek in Westchester County is about 45 minutes north of New York City.
	Mamarinek was one of the hardest-hit areas of the storm that passed through last night, September 1st.
	The Project Veritas office was devastated by floodwaters that rose almost five to six feet into our office above the floor.
	These are some images and scenes, some video from this morning.
	The good news is all of our people are safe, and all of our footage seems to be secure.
	The bad news is most of the things.
	That wasn't the first thing that went through my head.
	I was like, are you insured?
	Do you have the data?
	And then is everyone safe?
	We knew they were safe.
	What were they sleeping there overnight?
	Keep going.
	We're completely destroyed.
	Last night, most of our staff were excitedly watching a stream of the board meeting in Sacramento, California with indignant parents on the verge of tears.
	We'll be covering that tomorrow.
	Oh, no, this is our doors.
	Retracto.
	Retracto drowned.
	Some of our employees found their vehicles surrounded by three feet of water.
	We do appreciate the support and funding to continue.
	We are, after all, a non-profit organization.
	We appreciate the flood of tips and whistleblowers coming to us even today.
	Come on.
	Still in the field, many of us are working on many stories.
	We appreciate the prayers.
	The wall of shame was drenched.
	We were going to release our next story early next week.
	We might be delayed another week as we dig through our wreckage, salvage what we can, and rebuild our infrastructure.
	We are a very resilient organization, perhaps the most resilient people of any organization anywhere.
	And we often find ourselves rising, like a phoenix, out of the ashes repeatedly over the last decade.
	Continuously attacked by external forces since the beginning when we were nothing but a laptop and a Yeti microphone in the second floor of an old carriage house.
	Last night's storm was devastating for us.
	We lost a lot, but we are alive.
	Above a door at the San Juan Capistrano mission is the word, resurgent.
	I shall rise again.
	Sometimes devastation begets bigger and better things.
	We too will rise again, and we will do it, as we do anything we do, like no one else does, in part because this team is so united in ensuring our mission continues.
	The great thing about Veritas is that they put their shit out right away.
	It's not a secret database of things that might get released one day, like we hear Jeffrey Epstein and McAfee threatening.
	It's already out.
	So worst case scenario, they lose tomorrow's release.
	So we'll be covering more on Project Verbatas when we can breathe easy at tomorrow's show.
	Signs of far-right radicalization using archives working with artificial intelligence.
	Okay, so computers are tracking our behavior and noticing...
	Wait, this better not be that ancient Chinese secret from like a year or two ago.
	What's the date on this fucking shit?
	This is the problem with having baby monsters be your research team.
	They come across some article and assume it's new and it's ancient.
	A pootie pie style haircut is a sign of radicalization.
	Franque Grande.
	This is the beauty of doing the show live is our letters are hot off the presses.
	Dear Gavin, that's my name.
	I love my name.
	No problem with it.
	I'm very fond of my name.
	Baby Monster.
	I mean, he likes it.
	He has a tattoo of it.
	There's definitely no shame in that game.
	No, sir.
	And then, of course, Asian Loser.
	Which at this point, I don't think you have any choice but to embrace.
	We should mention, I sent you some pictures of our tactical walls.
	We should mention Tactical Walls, who did their foray into co-hosting.
	Maybe it didn't go great.
	Look at that.
	We got motorcycle helmets.
	Shit for all the guns we don't have.
	It can be anything you want it to be.
	That's Ryan's thing.
	It's a little high, so you don't usually see it in the shot.
	But it really tidies up your workshop, your home.
	If you're lucky enough to live in a gun-friendly state, you can have it.
	But we're big fans of Asian, Asian.
	I was looking at the word Asian loser.
	We're big fans of Asian losers.
	We're big fans of Tactical Walls.
	And though he may not make the strongest TV host, he's definitely an awesome dude with a fantastic product.
	Had a good time.
	Frankie Grant Grant.
	So it's Ariana Grande.
	Frankie Grande was on a season of Big Brother.
	Quick story about that show this year.
	CBS made a rule that all their reality shows must have at least 50% people of color casts.
	You know what's going to happen with that?
	Same thing happened in Italy where they had to have like 8% of the employees had to be handicapped.
	In order to fill the quota, they had to redefine handicap.
	Oh, geez.
	So it was like left-handed people, people with a wandering eye, gap teeth.
	I guarantee you, person of color is going to expand to mean like Irish or from Spain.
	Ew.
	Where did your sister go to school?
	Muhlenberg.
	Oh, okay.
	Wait, stop talking about my sister.
	I'm a person too, you know.
	What's she going to school for?
	Music.
	Oh, cool.
	Yeah.
	So talented.
	So, so talented.
	What a crazy voice she has.
	How fun.
	Yeah.
	I'm kind of sick of talking about her, actually.
	You know, I sing for my entire life.
	Yeah.
	I'm a singer.
	I went to school for the music.
	Why don't you ask where I went to school?
	So for the first time, there are six black people, plus an Asian, and a Latina out of the 16 contestants.
	On the second day, the six black people formed an alliance called, I shit you not, the cookout.
	They've been dominating the game, and none of the other people can figure out they're working together, even though it should be obvious as nothing but whites get voted out week after week.
	Holy shit.
	I don't watch Big Brother, but this is a microcosm of society.
	Oh, Jesus.
	Or they're afraid to say it out loud because of the online backlash.
	Either way, they're throwing themselves into the road gladly.
	The black people.
	I assumed you're going to pull up that clip, but it's too late now, I guess.
	The black people have made it clear they don't even really like each other.
	They just think it's important to stick together, quote unquote, for the culture.
	Imagine that arrogance or naivete, he adds.
	Next season...
	That's white people.
	White people are throwing themselves into the road gladly.
	Next season, the house will immediately devolve along racial lines, and everyone will be suspicious of each other.
	Cautionary tale for where America is headed?
	Hmm, it sounds a lot like the Tower of Babel to me.
	That reminds me of there was this group called the Council of Conservative Citizens.
	I went to check out back when I would dare see what the far right was up to, and they were seen as the new KKK, probably because it's three consonants in a row.
	And there was a speaker there named, I think his name was Samuel Francis.
	He's considered Nazi, bad news today.
	He's dead.
	And I thought, I'll check out what he has to say.
	I don't care.
	Far right, far left, what's he got to say?
	And he did a talk.
	It was mostly old fuddy duddies who couldn't be canceled or fired because they were retired.
	And he said, this is what's going to happen.
	We are getting into a stage in American society where it's going to be a third Hispanic, a third black, and a third white.
	Okay?
	What's the matter with that?
	Well, what you're going to start seeing is the Hispanics will vote for the Hispanic politician, no matter what he has to say.
	The blacks will vote for the black politician, and we know 99% of blacks voted for Obama.
	And the whites will vote for the white politician.
	So elections and voting will go along racial lines more than they'll go on policy lines.
	Go ask any black person what his favorite Obama policies were, especially a day after he was elected.
	What were the policies that made you vote?
	And they did this with Hillary.
	They voted for her.
	Women voted for her based on the fact that she's the first woman to do it.
	Not about anything she said.
	And that was probably like 2001 when I was getting into politics after 9-11 in a more serious way.
	And everything he fucking said has come true.
	Not only has it come true on the political sphere, it's come true on Big Brother.
	So it pays to listen to these guys.
	Gavin, thank you for having great taste in music and turning on to new stuff.
	Here's a guy worth checking out, Charlie Megira.
	Love police album.
	Charlie was an Israeli guitarist that was trying to make it big in the U.S. He's on his way to be signed by Julian Casablanca, then he decided to take his own life.
	Good choice.
	That Scottish guy, the Rabbits guy.
	Do you know that band?
	Rabbits?
	Yeah.
	What are they called?
	Lost Rabbits?
	Dead Rabbits?
	Worth checking out and a documentary about him.
	Linked below.
	Start at 20 seconds.
	Ellis is Not Dead video.
	Let's see what you got.
	Frightened Rabbit?
	Yeah.
	Looks like a washed up Rick Okasic.
	Because he thought his name was.
	He's a hawk.
	You are just a freak.
	You can't have an accent in rock.
	You know, we were at a record store when we were on vacation.
	I forgot to mention this.
	And I'm buying some records.
	I got that band.
	You die when you die.
	You die when you die.
	What the fuck are they called?
	I can feel it in the morning.
	Anyway, the guy running the record store was the singer of the makers.
	And I'm like, holy shit, you're the singer of the makers.
	He's like, oh yeah.
	Not a lot of people know about that band.
	Up here, I guess they do.
	But it's not that common.
	I got recognized.
	I was like, dude, you fucking, you guys rocked.
	And then he liked my albums, and things were going well until I could sense that he was about to realize who I am.
	And I paid really quickly and ran out of star.
	Bye.
	This was pleasant.
	Let's not ruin it.
	Let's keep it at this.
	Start a good, end a good.
	Look up that song.
	I can feel it in the morning.
	I just did Grand Funk Railroad.
	Yeah, Grand Funk Railroad.
	Was that it?
	Five bucks I got this for.
	Back.
	Of course, traveling from fucking Seattle with a bunch of records, my wife was like, let's just ship them to ourselves.
	That's more work.
	Now I got to go to the post office and get like cardboard and shit to reinforce it.
	What have we done?
	What have we done?
	A bunch of bullshit.
	Are you going to play the fucking song or am I going to kill you and your entire?
	It's loading?
	Yes.
	What, on our modem?
	56k.
	It's loading?
	I didn't hear that.
	He started people.
	Well, I guess he's kind of big and fat.
	He can see us whatever.
	They're describing God.
	Whatever we do, he has such powerful eyes.
	He has millions, thousands, billions.
	And he can still see us when we're bad.
	He could be sitting on the table right now, but you can't see him.
	He can't be everywhere at once doing everything for everybody.
	Everybody can't get what they want.
	Well, his job is to make us good and make us happy and make us parents good.
	Good is the right things and bad is the wrong things.
	When I'm good, my mother never yells at me.
	When I'm bad, she does.
	Good means to obey your mother and father.
	Do what the teacher says.
	The things right.
	I feel miserable when I'm bad.
	So I just feel like I feel now.
	I think that there are more people that are bad than there are good.
	hair again to be that gorgeous wait the beard's gotten a lot grayer in 10 years a lot of fucking stress had trouble getting it out of there.
	And then it was sealed.
	We missed the card.
	Oh, Lord.
	Oh, it was the Ace of Heart scene.
	I knew it was somewhere.
	Where was this?
	Brooklyn?
	Chinatown.
	Dude, are you blind?
	She's Chinese.
	She was like, ew.
	She was not interested in having sex with me at all.
	Context on the court-uncourt horse, quote-unquote, horse dewormer.
	Now, we've been talking recently about the left's opinions of us, and it's always about QAnon and shit we don't believe.
	And the latest is that we are all taking horse dewormer.
	Apparently, that invectriciminin, whatever Joe Rogan took, is also in horse dewormer.
	So we're sitting with horse paste right now, just chugging.
	Ivermectin or whatever?
	Yeah.
	What is that?
	Ivermectin.
	Ivermectin.
	Ivermectin.
	Ivermectin is not specifically horse dewormer, says this man.
	It is indeed used for horses and other animals, but also used commonly in humans as an anti-parasitic.
	The chemical occurs naturally in soil in Japan and has been used safely in humans for decades.
	It also shows some promising signs as an antiviral.
	Yeah, by the way, that's what I figured.
	When I saw the left saying the fucking right-wing lunatics are having horse dewormer, my immediate instinct went to, yeah, it's probably not horse dewormer, and it's probably recommended by some doctors because there is a factor inside of that that is used commonly in medicine.
	Like, we've seen this pattern over time, and just like, oh, Maddie Odell raped a woman and called everyone a nigger.
	And then you look it up and you're like, oh, the girlfriend that he broke up with is still mad at him.
	And he had said, got mad because a black guy stole his Doritos.
	There you go.
	What really happened is he called a woman a nigger and raped everyone.
	And it's always the way, again and again.
	You almost like get excited and go, maybe this will be legitimate.
	But it never is.
	Everything they say about us is us being normal.
	Why the smear campaign?
	Well, it's no longer under patent.
	Doesn't take a degree in logic to figure out why media outlets funded by pharmaceutical companies who stand to lose cash if an alternative to vaccines emerges have an interest in suppressing and demonizing this medicine.
	Ooh, that's a good letter.
	Ditto for why no large-scale studies exist for ivermectin and COVID.
	Nobody stands to make back the money required to run those studies.
	They are promising meta-analyses of countries that have used it as a preventative measure against COVID, however.
	In any case, the drug is mostly harmless, dirt cheap, and is showing promising results.
	There appears to be very little downside to trying it other than costing drug companies a lot of money or losing them a lot of potential money.
	Love the show.
	Thanks, Roller Berg, Zach.
	Feel free to use my name.
	Well, let's end on that note.
	That was a fun one.
	Beautiful.
	Yeah, it helps to be dubious of the powers that be and the largest corporations in the world.
	The thing that annoys me, I don't mind them lying.
	I expect them to lie.
	Use car salesmen lie.
	It's when the media and the general populace start holding water for this corruption and saying, don't take that drug.
	It's not approved by the people that told me that they should approve drugs.
	That's when shit gets disturbing.
	I don't mind people out trying to dupe us.
	I just hate that when the media and everyone else are so easily duped.
	You know what I mean?
	You walk around New York City, there's constantly people trying to hustle you.
	I just hate when people go, why aren't you buying that Rolex?
	It's a good Rolex.
	He needs the money.
	He's an entrepreneur.
	Help him.
	$40.
	It's $40.
	It's not a Rolex.
	You can buy it.
	Go bananas.
	You can buy the $20 Louis Vuitton purse.
	Go bananas.
	Just don't get mad at me for not buying it.
	Because I ain't buying it.
	All right, let's take some calls.
	Take some phone calls.
	You are on the air.
	This is a fucking loser.
	You want me to learn, share, listen, understand why.
	Hey, why does everyone get two things?
	You have one thing.
	Thank you for calling.
	It was great hearing from you.
	Bye-bye.
	All right, next call.
	All right, we have somebody on the line.
	Can you turn on your laughs gentlemen?
	I did.
	Gentlemen, start your lavs.
	Yeah.
	Not a great ring to that, but that's...
	That's okay.
	Okay, let's lav it up.
	We're laughing it.
	Okay.
	Sir, are you there?
	Work up a lathering.
	Lavish.
	Lather up.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, lather up.
	That's a good one.
	It's got a double entender with lather.
	Du blantente.
	Ilien du blanton avec lather.
	Hello.
	Sir, we're about to go to the next call.
	Can you hear us?
	We could hear you.
	I just heard a little thing.
	I can't hear him.
	I'm guessing Ryan fucked up and he's gone.
	I mean, he's there, but he can't get through.
	Let's try another call.
	Sorry, buddy.
	Blake.
	Blake, are you one of us fucked up?
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Hello there, Blake.
	Hey, Phillips.
	How are we doing?
	Good.
	Good.
	Hey, how do you deal with passive-aggressive mother-in-laws?
	That's a tough one because it's very important that you establish at least a civil relationship with your mother-in-law because you want her to have a relationship with the kids.
	My mother-in-law is incredibly far-left and is Not the hugest Gav fan.
	So I just let it float away like dust in the wind.
	If a fucking 23-year-old shithead at Spectators, did I tell you about this?
	No.
	So I'm in there and this 22-year-old walks by and he's like, I'm so very proud of your boy.
	I was like, what the fuck did you just say?
	And I bring him back.
	Come here, come here, come here.
	What are you doing here?
	I do my old, like, you want to fight, we can fight.
	You want to debate, we can debate.
	But I don't give a fuck what you have to say.
	Yeah.
	And that's how you deal with everyone else.
	The best way to deal, I learned this when I was in prison.
	If someone's walking by your cell and they start looking at your commissary, your ramen, and et cetera, you go, everything okay here?
	You like that?
	You can get some ramen.
	You want my ramen?
	Is that what you're saying?
	You got to nip that in the bud.
	But that's it.
	That's when we're inside or on the streets.
	As far as your family goes, you've got to keep shit smooth.
	So I recommend like at Thanksgiving and Christmas, you can have a political debate up until you start to see steam coming out of their ears.
	And then you pull it back and you go, but maybe not.
	That's true.
	So I would say, let it fall off you like water off a duck's back and don't make this stupid mistake.
	When she's gone, don't go, that bitch is a fucking cunt.
	She was playing games like your wife's going to go, yeah, I know.
	My mother's a fucking whore.
	What a bitch, man.
	She should go fuck herself.
	If anything, your wife will see that you took it like water off a duck's back and you didn't bring it up with her and she'll be impressed.
	That's what real men do.
	Do you mind if I describe the situation to you?
	Not at all.
	Pray tell.
	Well, I got off a 12-hour shift and I came home and I cleaned the entire fucking house and I took a nap and my mother-in-law came in because my wife invited her over without telling me.
	And I was like, oh, good.
	My mother-in-law.
	Can I interrupt you?
	Can I interrupt?
	Why wasn't the house clean?
	Why did it need to be cleaned from top to bottom?
	Well, it was filthy because of me, of course.
	What, you went around dirtying every room in the house?
	Does she work as hard as you?
	Yeah, she does.
	Okay, so you're both putting in brutal shifts.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	What's your job?
	I'm a distribution coordinator.
	Okay, we'll leave it at that.
	So you're busting your ass, you come home.
	I don't care how filthy the house is.
	If I did a 12-hour shift, it can wait till tomorrow.
	But anyway, you clean the whole house.
	She brings her mother-in-law over.
	Then what?
	And I woke up, and my mother-in-law is standing over me going, hey, how are you doing?
	And I'm like, I'm good, I'm tired.
	Like, what the fuck are you doing here?
	I didn't say that, obviously, because my wife was watching and they're having a jolly good time.
	And she went downstairs and started vacuuming.
	And went, oh, this floor is kind of dirty.
	And just started vacuuming.
	And I'm like, what the what the fuck are you doing?
	First of all, wiring up here.
	Second of all, I already fucking vacuumed that fucking carpet.
	Oh, come on, dude.
	Get the fuck out of here.
	Leave.
	Don't take the bait.
	She's obviously, in fact, she's testing your masculinity to see if you can break.
	You should have said thanks.
	Yep.
	Yeah.
	Well, I have a lot of pride as far as saying thank you, you know, because it's my fucking house.
	No, no, no, no, no.
	First of all, you shouldn't have cleaned the whole house.
	Secondly, when she comes in and does it, you should have said thanks, Margaret.
	Anyway, like, think of Clint Eastwood.
	When in doubt, WWCD, what would Clint do?
	And he would have went.
	That's how guys talk to one another.
	Thanks, Margaret.
	Thanks a lot.
	All right, thanks for calling.
	I must have missed a spot after I did my 12-hour shift.
	But thanks for getting it for me.
	Looks like I missed a lot of spots when I did it.
	One hour.
	Shut up, Janet.
	Remember in Gran Torino where the priest comes to his door and he's like, sir, I want to talk to you about the afterlife and your reckoning with Christ.
	And he's like, I'm kind of busy right now, Father.
	And he goes, sir.
	And he keeps nagging him.
	And he goes, I don't feel like listening to a 22-year-old virgin tell me how to live my fucking life.
	It took a few times before he broke down.
	That relationship with, what's his name, Walt Kowalski and the priest.
	Good afternoon, Walt.
	Good afternoon, guys.
	I'm going to confession.
	Why didn't you just call the police?
	What?
	What?
	I do work with some of the Hmong gangs, and I heard there was some trouble in the neighborhood.
	Why didn't you call the police?
	Well, you know, I prayed that they would show up, but nobody answered.
	Someone could have been killed.
	We're talking life and death here.
	When things go wrong, you gotta act quickly.
	When we were in Korea and a thousand screaming gooks came across our line, we didn't call the police.
	We reacted.
	We're not doing what you said.
	About how you carry around all the horrible things you were forced to do.
	Horrible things that won't leave you.
	It seems it would do you good to unload some of that burden.
	Things done during war are terrible.
	Being ordered to kill, killing to save yourself, killing to save others.
	You're right.
	Those are things I know nothing about.
	But I do know about forgiveness.
	I feel like a young man in the real world would be a little less arrogant when talking to a fucking 80-year-old war vet.
	Yeah.
	Who's been going to the church since that kid was a baby?
	You would be like, I hate fuckface.
	What do you call the cops?
	Yeah.
	I'm going to hand it to you, Padre.
	You came here with your guns loaded this time.
	Thank you.
	And you're right about one thing.
	About stronger men than me reaching their salvation.
	Well, the hella fucking Luja.
	But you're wrong about something else.
	What's that, Mr. Gosky?
	The thing that haunts a man the most is what he isn't ordered to do.
	Oh!
	If only that movie had better borders and didn't import so many bad Hmong actors, because it would have been fucking perfect.
	I even stole it once.
	At my house, some guy was walking by and he was staring at me because the neighbors are all shocked they live near David Duke.
	And then he was about a block away and he was still looking back, staring.
	This is the thing with rich liberals.
	They think just looking makes you go, oh fuck, I've been made.
	So he's honestly like a good baseball throw away.
	A stone's toss, as the Brits say.
	And he's still going, his family's walking with him.
	He's got kind of long hair.
	He's like 35.
	And he's like staring.
	And he's six feet tall, so he's used to having some authority amongst his pussy friends.
	And he sees me.
	I'm getting my kid stuff out of the trunk and I'm looking over at him.
	And I just went, I stole it from Walt Kowalski.
	And he retaliates with more staring.
	Shut up, Jamie.
	Remember, Walt did it from his porch.
	He was just like, and he did end up getting them killed.
	Anyway, next call.
	Jeremy.
	Drummer!
	Wow, this is the one he's hell there!
	Jeremy's ready!
	Even flow.
	You guys are riffing on my favorite band.
	Man, he's got a huge Pearl Jam tattoo on his chat.
	Nice.
	Pearl Jam's my check.
	Oh, where can this caller be?
	He picked up buddy's video.
	I'm surprised the Grunge Man did so well with an 84-year-old singer from the deep south named Bleeding Gums Murphy.
	I've been all down.
	I've been making my way.
	Unbelievable.
	Picking this cotton, working that field.
	Yeah, all right.
	Let's go to Sam instead.
	Hello, Sam.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Hey, how you doing, buddy?
	Not bad, buddy.
	Daddy, you're a little dehydrated, daddy.
	Can you do joker face, buddy?
	The reason why I'm calling this because me and my wife is getting divorced because of you.
	Sorry, go ahead.
	I said the reason why I'm falling is because me and my wife is getting divorced because of you.
	Wow, that's not really what I'm going for here with this show.
	Well, you're getting it.
	You gave out some great advice a couple years ago about farting and that you would take the duck lips and you somehow put it up against your anal lips when you would fart.
	Yeah.
	And it would muffle the sound.
	Yeah.
	Well, make a long story short.
	Middle of the night, we just finished eating Japanese steakhouse.
	My wife's asleep.
	I'm laying next to her, obviously.
	And I go to light out some gas.
	It backfires.
	It sounds like a freaking horn went off.
	So she sees me laying there with my arm behind my ass.
	And then I pull my fingers out.
	She flipped open the blanket and I got shit up my fingers.
	It's quiet.
	Yeah, no, it's quiet for him.
	Well, that's not a fart.
	That's diarrhea.
	It's my fault you shit your pants?
	Yeah, you weak asshole.
	First of all, you shouldn't have that much shit up your ass at the end of the day.
	Didn't you take a shit that day?
	And you're not following the instructions.
	You purse your fingers around near your anal lips, and then you pry your anus open, and your ass goes.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	I can't be sitting here taking responsibility for people who misuse the product.
	We've made it very clear how to turn your farts into...
	So his wife's divorcing him because he had shit on his hands?
	Maybe you didn't finish the story.
	You're not familiar with marriage.
	Even if I shit the bed.
	That's like rounds for divorce.
	Well, remember Whitney Houston and Bobby?
	She was constipated, I assume, from their opioid use and various crack benders.
	So in order to get shit out, he had to put his finger up her ass and fish hook.
	It's called a fish hook.
	It's a thing that's known.
	So he was fish hooking poo out of her ass, and they're both such brutal drug addicts that they bring it up on the sitcom.
	And they go something like, that's ghetto love, that's black love, that's real love.
	On the reality show.
	Yeah.
	That's opioid love.
	But yeah, in marriage, there's essentially going to be not a lot, maybe like three times in a marriage.
	I don't know how it gets after like 65.
	But you're going to poo yourself.
	She's going to have an incident, especially after she has kids.
	You know, when a woman has a baby, there's not just blood and fucking afterbirth.
	There's shit.
	Oh, yeah.
	And barf.
	Pushing.
	It's not the sexiest you've ever seen your wife.
	Look at that beautiful, beautiful bird.
	No, I don't think it's that beautiful.
	She's committing a magical act that connects her to the heavens, wherein a human being is coming out of her body.
	So if it's a little messy, it's like time travel.
	You're going to land there.
	There's going to be like splooge on you.
	Yeah, yeah.
	You're going to be nude.
	That's the problem with miracles.
	They get pretty.
	Miracles ain't pretty.
	That's another cool.
	I don't know if that's a band name, but definitely an album name.
	Muslim refugees coming into Idaho.
	Oh, great.
	Let me guess.
	It's not going well.
	Hello?
	Hello.
	720.
	You're on the.
	Hey, Gavin.
	Hey, man.
	Hey, dude.
	I was calling.
	I just moved.
	I know you're still thinking about figuring out where you're going to go after, you know.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	You moved to Daniel.
	And there's Muslims there?
	How's it going?
	Well, I don't know.
	They're not here yet, I suppose.
	My brother has been worrying me about it.
	He's kind of like over the top on his, you know, I believe about 85% of his in quotation conspiracy theories, but I just moved to Coeur d'Alene, and supposedly they're moving 10,000 of them over to Spokane,
	Washington, which is weird.
	It's like, why would our government send refugees to the most conservative parts of the state or of the country?
	Yeah, I wonder why.
	What could their motive possibly be?
	Yeah.
	What?
	Promoting fucking war, practically?
	Yeah, turning counties blue.
	This is what they did in Britain with Muslims.
	They have disdain for the working class, so they throw them in there to fuck with them.
	But it's also to change the voting records.
	It's twofold.
	It's a fuck you, and it's a let's change.
	They don't really care about demographics, but let's change the voting records of this particular county.
	And I hear people say, like my people say, oh, Muslims, when you get to 10%, it starts altering the culture and you start getting problems with child grooming and whatever terrorism.
	I don't think you've got to wait till 10%.
	America's at 1%.
	And what have we had?
	13 at Fort Hood, 49 at Pulse, 8 at San Bernardino, 8 at the, I might be getting these numbers a little off, the West Side Highway here in New York.
	Not talking about the 3,000 in New York City, but 1% is not going that great for us.
	No.
	So that sounds like bad news.
	That was too much of indecence.
	But what are you going to do?
	Like, cut them out?
	Well, I don't know what to expect.
	Like, you know, when the time comes, I'm just kind of happy to be surrounded around like-minded people.
	It's kind of why I moved here.
	Yeah, all right.
	Thanks.
	Check it out.
	I don't know if anyone ever commented and asked or recommended Cordelaine.
	If they did, it sounds familiar.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	You're in for a rough ride.
	Well, I'll be dipped in shit.
	Like, what are you going to do?
	Protest the bill, I guess.
	And where are the Muslims coming from?
	I can't think of Muslims that aren't a pain in the ass.
	I guess Morocco or some really wealthy place along the fucking Mediterranean.
	Northern Africa.
	But Somalia, Africa.
	There's a huge Somalian refugee population in Maine.
	They take them from the deserts of Africa, Somalia, and ship them to Maine.
	Oof.
	Great.
	Well, isn't that where was James O'Keefe's huge ballot harvesting controversy?
	Maybe that was Dearborn, Michigan kind of areas.
	They don't assimilate.
	I'm sorry.
	Like someone was asking me the other day, do you think Muslims can be proud boys?
	No.
	It's about Western chauvinism and Islam is incompatible with the West.
	Bring me my Hindus.
	Bring me my Sri Lankans.
	Bring me my even Hispanics.
	I mean, almost every culture assimilates vastly better than Islam.
	Even fucking white Islamists don't do well.
	Who were the fucking Boston bombers?
	They were white Muslims.
	Sorry, it just doesn't work.
	Bye-bye.
	Toodaloo.
	Toodaloo, motherfucker.
	Oh, we have a guy asking about Gary.
	Yep.
	Hold on one second.
	All right.
	Ask away about the Gare Bear.
	Oh, this is Gary.
	Hello.
	Oh, hi, Gary.
	Hi, Gavin.
	Hi, Gavin.
	Hi, Ryan.
	It's Gary Antini here for the next 35 minutes or so.
	Oh, that's great.
	Gary, I'll be totally honest with you.
	The reason we haven't had you to the new studio is no one wants you in their car because you reek up everything you touch.
	And we don't even think an Uber would have you.
	So it's your brutal body odor.
	Hot shit.
	We have some hot shit next to your mug here.
	And a gay mug also.
	We have a little shrine to you here at the studio.
	Yeah, that's enough for us to feel.
	All right, thanks for calling, Gary.
	We'll get you in the studio fine.
	We just got to find a tarp to stick on the chair, or maybe we'll put you in a giant laundry bag, like a dry cleaner plastic bag.
	Hot shit.
	Hot shit.
	Someone sent me a video where they ran into him on the street.
	And they're like, hey, are you on Gavin McInnes' network?
	And he goes, what?
	Gavin McInnes, you're on Gavin McInnes' network?
	And he goes, no, it's Gary Santini.
	Sounds like a fucking magician.
	The great Gary Santini.
	Sounds like a fucking cool guy you want to hang out with until you meet him.
	Hey, you want to come over?
	We're having a bunch of beers, watching the game.
	I don't know.
	I'm kind of tired.
	Gary Santini's here.
	He's in town?
	I'm on my way.
	Ripping through puddles during the storm.
	Nice.
	Gary Santini's in town.
	He's probably got Coke.
	I'm going to have to come.
	If you like, I don't know what is this life on Roku.
	Something like that.
	Something like that.
	Just take the call.
	520, you're on the line.
	The previews are never correct.
	Go ahead, 520.
	Go ahead.
	Waiting on you.
	I think a lot of these guys get drunk around this time, 10.30, and they're on hold, and they either fall asleep or go look at something.
	Correct.
	Let's just rip through them.
	Very possible.
	All right.
	Joe, and he's calling about the recent contact you had.
	Hey, what's up, guys?
	With what, aliens?
	Unlike the previous caller, I'm here to sing your praises.
	Oh, good.
	I like that.
	Well, I'll be dipped in shit.
	Here was Tuesday's lineup, if you remember.
	Man Up got uploaded pretty late the previous day, so I'm counting this as Tuesday.
	You got Man Up, Dusty Bogan, two AIUs, censored TV, G-O-M-L, and SOF.
	Does it get any better than that?
	What a day.
	Like, why have TV or anything else?
	You shouldn't be watching that much.
	Like, it fills up 100% of your free time and more.
	Fortunately, I retired about three months ago, so I can personally handle that kind of load.
	That's a big hot load.
	That was an amazing day.
	That was an amazing day.
	And if I could ask one question, what is the deal?
	Patrick Coffin is the man.
	How did you, how did that come to be?
	Because if you can make it even every six month kind of thing, that guy is Patrick Coffin is the man.
	Thanks.
	Okay, thanks for calling.
	Yeah, he's a fun little Catholic.
	I don't know, little sounds patronizing.
	He's a fun dude from Halifax.
	We both have Canadian backgrounds.
	He contacted me because he's big into Catholicism when he found out I was Catholic.
	That interested him because I don't seem very Catholic.
	And then we've been corresponding fairly regularly ever since.
	Great guy.
	Great guy.
	Great guy, Frank.
	He's a good old Nova Scotian.
	He's wearing Nova Scotian.
	He wears a hat that looks Cuban.
	I think they call it Cuban.
	By the way, so Katie's last episode, she was braving the hurricane in Mexico.
	It's social.
	She's out and about.
	Is it the same one?
	No, I think there's Hurricane Grace, oddly enough.
	But yeah, so she's out and about, all this footage, out and, you know.
	I wish we were more unapologetic as a society.
	And remember, there was that controversy, why are all hurricanes named after women?
	And whoever was asked that just should have said, because a lot of you are cunts.
	The end.
	They're not all named after women.
	Now they're all like Jerry and Larry.
	Yeah, Henri and...
	What was this one we just had?
	Ida.
	Ida.
	Idaho.
	That reminds me of the chick from Still Game.
	Oh, no, she was Isa.
	Wasn't she?
	Issa.
	You know the gossiper from the Glaswegian show Still Game?
	Not off the top of my head.
	Do you not watch Still Game, dude?
	No.
	Oh, I'm jealous of you.
	You have 80 hours of a hilarious Glaswegian sitcom to sit through on Netflix, you lucky bastard.
	I have 80.
	I have...
	It'll be fine.
	Hard to find 80 hours of free time, but I'll get it done.
	Look up Isa.
	Still game Isa.
	The Quez.
	That's her mom sweeping up.
	Oh, my God.
	It's such a good show, dude.
	I think my cousin Mike watches that.
	Yeah, dude, I just met someone who hasn't seen the Sopranos before.
	Fuck yeah.
	You're lucky.
	That's a nice.
	I would love to go to a brain surgeon and have this removed from my head.
	Because they don't really stand up to repeated watches.
	Just the ticket.
	This is every summer of my life.
	With my grand.
	Oh, Richard.
	You look lovely.
	Oh, the furniture.
	Cupid.
	Richard.
	White.
	You're off the hook, Miss Meet.
	I'll be back for you.
	Take the page free girl for.
	So you, Isa, what are you off to?
	My way to Dava Shift.
	That was close.
	We've got lightly there.
	Times, I'm glad I caught you there.
	I feel like I got to tell you.
	Tell me what, Isa?
	Well, I never buy the Times.
	There's usually nothing in it you haven't read in the real papers.
	Just the same old news again later on.
	Rubbish, really.
	And there's no point buying twice for it.
	Anyhow, don't ask me why, but I won't buy you.
	What are you doing, Winston?
	I'm trying to fast-forward you to the punchline.
	Get to the end of the story.
	I will have.
	I was flipping through it.
	The end.
	At the intimation set.
	End, mind.
	Bobby McIntosh is dead.
	Thank you.
	Bobby McIntosh is dead.
	McIntosh.
	I wish you could do that to the Tactical Walls guy.
	Just go to the end, to the end.
	Oh, that's so mean.
	What's this?
	Have you seen this channel, Scottish Patter?
	Are you following this?
	No?
	I'm not.
	Par.
	You know, the patter means the way you talk.
	But if you're telling a shitty story in Glasgow, people will just stop and go, see you, your power's rotting, and just walk away.
	Like, they do not suffer fools gladly in that culture.
	There's some Scottish people that kind of say, purple, but he's great.
	Lemmy's show is awesome.
	Have you not seen Limmy's show?
	No.
	Oh, dude.
	Yeah.
	No.
	They literally say, by the way, like, regularly.
	I'm more jealous of you than Gary Santini.
	You wish you had the great Santini.
	Dude, I swear to God, Lemmy's Show and Still Game.
	There is 400 hours waiting for you at home.
	I believe both are on Netflix.
	You have 400 hours waiting for you, of which 91% is like fucking gold.
	Gold.
	Like you won't be remotely bored.
	SCTV, I grew up with SCTV and I go, oh, fuck, I can't wait to watch those again.
	Those are great.
	I got like the box set a few years ago.
	And I'm watching it and 40% of it is fucking utter garbage.
	I had selective memory, like people who think they're good at blackjack, and remembered all the good parts.
	Still game, let me show.
	He's still like that, by the way.
	And for our viewers at home who didn't grow up in Glasgow or with Glaswegians, put on the subtitles and you'll be very impressed with the level of comedy.
	Like that dildo joke?
	That was just a random sampling.
	Yeah.
	They actually have subtitles?
	Yeah.
	My wife can't follow it if I don't have subtitles on.
	That's like train spotting.
	The movie comes with fucking subtitles.
	Well, and if you watch it with someone like Yayo and they say you have to explain Deed is dead and Doug is dog, and it ends up killing the vibe.
	Did you play Doug?
	I hate Doug.
	And that's a hoose is a mouse.
	A moose.
	A coup.
	There's a fucking moose in the hoose.
	There's a coup and a moose in the hoose.
	Wait, go back to that thing I want to hear them say, by the way.
	Oh, okay.
	By the way.
	You, by the way, you have to listen closely, apparently.
	I just know a dog by the way.
	Did he say that's my bump, by the way?
	That's not a dog, by the way.
	That's not a dog, by the way.
	That's not a dog, by the way.
	That's not a dog by a dog.
	I love that.
	All that I know from Scottish, like, videos that made me laugh.
	The other one where he thought it was a bank machine, it was a fucking bridge.
	He's trying to put his card into a bridge.
	He's like, hey, that's not a bank machine, by the way.
	What was that?
	Oh, thanks.
	So it is.
	No, that's what he says.
	So it is.
	So it's.
	Yeah, don't feed seagulls in Glasgow.
	And don't feed flying rats in New York City.
	That's a dog.
	That's a fan.
	Clinkers.
	We had a junkie lying on his back as the final video, I think, yesterday.
	And someone just fed rats like breadcrumbs and shit in Times Square.
	That's what rats need.
	It's tough for a rat to survive these days.
	They can only tread water for three days, swim eight miles, fit through the door crack that's the size of a quarter, and eat their own young.
	They definitely need your help.
	All right, next call.
	Yeah.
	Hi, Nick.
	Shout Steph D this evening.
	Okay, Ryan Hypnosis.
	Cool name.
	Ryan Hypnosis.
	Hello.
	Yo.
	Hey there.
	Hey, you ever hear of the boxer Scott D. Montana?
	No.
	He's got a video up.
	There's a video up on YouTube where he stages a hypnosis before he fights Chris Eubanks.
	He's an African boxer, and Chris Eubanks completely believes it.
	It's worth a watch.
	I think Chris Eubanks made me think about New Rochelle.
	Oh, yeah?
	What's up?
	I think Chris Eubanks might be from just north of us here in New Rochelle.
	Chris Eubanks.
	Oh, you know what?
	He's Jamaican.
	I think he's Jamaican.
	But, yeah, he falls for his hypnosis and ends up losing the boxing match.
	But there's a good video on it, worth a watch.
	And then I wanted to ask you if you've ever had any patent, if you've ever gotten anything patented before.
	Have you ever had ideas patented or anything like that?
	No, but the GPS clip, the GPS chip that you can stick on things of value, I invented that fucking 15 years ago.
	And a relative of mine said that'll never work because to charge those things, it would take too much radiation to charge something over there.
	He didn't trust the battery.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	We'll look it up.
	How do you spell that name, DeMontano?
	Scott DeMontano, right?
	Yeah, I'm right.
	When he was 16, his father sent him to New York in the U.S. to live with his mother in the tough South Bronx district.
	He's from here.
	Yeah.
	Scott.
	You know how I know that?
	It's because when I take a shit at the gym, there's a big picture of Chris Eubanks.
	Eubank.
	Hometown boy.
	On the wall.
	And he must be a hotown.
	Hotown.
	Must be a hometown boy if he's on the wall.
	In the shitter.
	All right, I don't care about that.
	I don't even believe it.
	We all admire you.
	He says, you know, the quintessential Englishman.
	You dress well, you're dignified, you're well-behaved.
	Let's move on.
	Do you seem to have played you at your own game?
	Yes.
	Steve was very good.
	I mean, listen to this story here.
	I go to Dublin to have the press conference.
	Why is he acting like such a fuck?
	Yeah.
	I go to...
	Are you a dandy?
	Chris?
	I go to Dublin to have the press conference in the middle of the day.
	I don't care about this.
	I don't believe it anyway.
	It's fucking astrology.
	Astronology.
	Alright, we have 518 online.
	518.
	Online.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Hello, what's up?
	Hello?
	Can you hear me?
	Yep.
	Hey, uh, I'm sick of all these fucking pussies calling into your show.
	There's like a gap between us, like, 30-somethings and 20-somethings.
	We need more tradesmen, by the way.
	Yep.
	Anyway.
	On the show and in America.
	I hate this fucking show.
	Yeah, dude, I'm a machinist.
	We need more machinists.
	Anybody out there, go fucking be a machinist.
	Anyway, listen.
	So, a couple of people.
	Wait a minute, wait a minute.
	Did you say don't be a machinist?
	No, we need more machinists.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Okay.
	I agree.
	Definitely.
	All that fucking machinist.
	Yeah, they're all retiring and nobody wants to do it.
	And it takes a little skill.
	Come on, man.
	So a couple shows ago, you and Ryan were talking about that history book that he supposedly finished.
	Yeah.
	And you were singing, yeah, you were saying to teach your boy, I got a little boy too, you want to teach your boy about kill the Han and the Ottoman Empire and all that shit?
	So I happen to have this silver coin, right?
	From the Ottoman Empire.
	And I would love to give it to you so you can attach it to your history lesson with your boy.
	Okay.
	Well, it's from 1829.
	It's an Ottoman Empire coin.
	You can have it.
	You taught me to be a retard.
	Wait, this sounds like a trick.
	Wasn't the Ottoman Empire over?
	No.
	No, no.
	It's not a trick, dude.
	It's not a trick.
	And when I wrote in the mailbag, I wrote like, I get like you guys, it's probably really sketchy with like gifts and mail and all that shit.
	But I would like, you know, I would take any precautions or any whatever.
	But I'd love to send it to you, dude.
	Honestly.
	That's all.
	It's for real.
	Yeah, I mean, Constantinople was 1453 to 1922.
	So I guess.
	Yes, it's from 1829.
	It's from, yeah, it's really cool, actually.
	And I, you know, I heard you bring it up when Brian supposedly finished that book, which he probably didn't finish.
	I did, sir.
	All right, well, just email.
	I'll look it up in the letters and thanks for calling.
	You know, we got a letter where someone said a great way to red pill your kids is you pay them five bucks to watch a Dennis Prager video.
	Not a little Instagram one, but like a 15-minute one.
	And then you quiz them after and ask them what they got from it to show they're not trying to trick you.
	And she goes, I didn't spend that much money.
	I spent like 50 bucks, whatever it was.
	And it worked.
	It was a smashing success.
	Because as far as they're concerned, I'm making five bucks for 15 minutes.
	I'm going to try it.
	Because I might be losing them.
	All right, next call.
	So it is Tim.
	Hey, Gavin.
	Hello.
	Hey, I got a question for you.
	You've talked about moving to the South to a Rudder State, and you've also talked about how your wife is very liberal.
	Have you talked to her about gun ownership when you move to the Red State?
	And if she's not cool with it, what kind of protection would you feel comfortable having that she would also be cool with?
	Oh, she knows.
	We have guns in the house.
	She understands the power of a gun.
	Thanks for calling.
	One thing I did think of, though, like my gun is pretty hard to load, my guns, but I don't see her getting the clip in and putting it in the chamber with the bolt or whatever you call it.
	But I did see these guns on Hannity that are like $350.
	They're plastic and they shoot out these pepper balls that aren't just incredibly painful when they hit you, but when they hit you, there's an impact and it blinds you.
	That's a gun for a liberal.
	Non-lethal defense.
	What's the deal with the outside of the Bronx, like say Westchester?
	What about it?
	And New York State.
	You can have a 16-inch barrel?
	Well, yeah, there's barrel length is a minimum of 16 inches and there's an overall length of, I think, 22 and 7 eighths or 27 inches, which makes it a carbine, which is a short rifle.
	New York State, you need a pistol permit for handguns.
	But if you're over 18, I think it's 18 for long guns.
	Or maybe 21.
	And a long gun is 22 and a half inches from butt to end.
	A long gun is like a rifle.
	Right, but what?
	The shortest legal one you can get, I believe it's I think it's 27 inches, which constitutes it.
	And what's that called?
	It's not called a long gun.
	No, it's a long gun.
	Oh, okay.
	So a long gun is 27 inches.
	I'm great with 27 inches.
	That's like twice the size of my dick.
	Look up a 27-inch gun.
	Right, that guy, what he's holding right there.
	He's probably roughly around that.
	I don't know.
	That seems better than a fucking handgun.
	Handguns are for close distances.
	Yeah.
	You want to turn corners all clean.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah, I don't want a handgun.
	Well, of course I do, obviously.
	I certainly do.
	As far as like home invasion stuff.
	That's a 27-inch gun?
	No.
	That's a 6-inch revolver.
	6-inch.
	No, 27-inch.
	Yeah, that kind of vibe.
	Well, no, that's illegal.
	Oh, that's like a sort of shotgun.
	I mean, New York State, you can't own that.
	Like Connecticut, you can't.
	Wait, that's 27.
	Long, like, shortest gun legal in.
	Oh, that doesn't look as fun.
	New York is 27-inch.
	Somehow I picture 27-inches, like, this long.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that's right.
	That'd be a fucking cool little gun.
	Like a pistol grip shotgun.
	And I can get one, right?
	Sure.
	I'm getting one.
	Rock on.
	Woo.
	We're good.
	You know, we've got like a Remington 870 or a Mossburg 500 or something, a home defense shotgun.
	Yeah.
	Hello, you've got a base.
	All right, next.
	Jimbo, Elizabeth.
	I'm disappointed, by the way, you didn't pull up any pictures of what we're talking about.
	Isabella Riley.
	Oh, yeah.
	I fucked her at a party.
	Just kidding.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Yes, can you hear us.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	Can you fuckers hear me or what?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, we hear you, but we're getting annoyed.
	All right.
	Sorry, Gavin.
	I just had a question.
	How are you not saying anything to Isabella Reilly about how orange she is?
	Yeah, that's something.
	She's fucking beautiful.
	She's hotter without makeup, I think.
	And I know that's a cliche, but...
	I agree.
	I agree.
	Like, even if she's going to put on makeup, just one little, like, bloop, bloop, maybe even lip gloss, nothing else.
	But that generation just fucking slathers it on.
	They're like Tammy Faye Baker.
	Their faces are always different colors in the bottom.
	And they do those makeup tutorials where they have the line here.
	What's it called?
	What's the tannin and some shit?
	It's like conditioning or.
	She's got to be doing extra.
	What?
	He's got to be doing extra because that's not just makeup.
	That's spray tan and all kinds of other things.
	They spend with these YouTube makeup tutorials, they spend hours with lines.
	I watched them on Instagram.
	I don't know how I ended up with it as my algorithm, but there's like lines here.
	So before they start, you see all these crazy lines, and then they start blending it and creating this illusion of stuff, which Isabelle O'Reilly clearly does not have to do.
	She could throw detective shitty shit on her face, and you'd just be like, oh, still hot.
	Yep.
	Yeah, it's a crime.
	I don't know what I should do about it because she doesn't give a shit what I have to say, but thanks for calling.
	Did you see that interview with her?
	No.
	You should check her out.
	She wears tons of makeup.
	And then you see her just like when she woke up going, hi, I hate farts.
	And you go, that's like Miss USA.
	Yeah.
	She is a fucking smoke show.
	We got best way to have a baby quick.
	Push.
	What's going on, guys?
	How y'all doing?
	Hey, man.
	Hey, man.
	I just want to say I'm a subscriber to the end.
	I listen to you guys every morning on the way to work.
	I'm laughing my balls off.
	Cannot stop laughing.
	It's just a breath of fresh air to hear real comedy.
	No holds barred.
	Fucking, it reminds me of hanging out with my boys, just not worried about any pressure, just laughing my ass off.
	When Ryan did Dan Zigg's mother as Trump, me and my boys were crying, laughing for fucking hours.
	To this day, when we say it, we start crying, laughing.
	How did I miss that?
	Was that on the episode you did on your own?
	No.
	That was a while back.
	Old studio.
	Mother.
	Tell your children not to walk my way.
	Frankly.
	Mama, Mama.
	To mother, frankly.
	That's what they call her.
	But the real reason I called was I followed your advice.
	I married the girl that I fell in love with about five years ago.
	She's 23.
	I'm 32.
	And we just got married in May.
	I'm doing everything.
	You know, I'm trying to follow the steps.
	She's atheist, but I convinced her to get married with a Christian, traditional wedding.
	It was beautiful.
	Anyway, the point is...
	She won't be atheist.
	She can't seem to fucking.
	Yeah, that's what I'm thinking, too.
	It changes every week.
	Seriously.
	She pushes me to go to church when I'm tired.
	But anyway, what I was going to say was, you know, all these years I fucking wear protection, and then two, three months into not wearing protection, going hard, I can't fucking get results.
	You got anything to share with me?
	You're not watching porn, are you?
	Fuck no.
	No wanks, baby.
	Do 100% of your loads go into her vadge?
	Absolutely.
	I don't know.
	I think four months is pretty good.
	I knocked up my wife in four months, and everyone thought that was rude.
	What about you, Maddie?
	How long did it take you?
	I was in the first year.
	Yeah, see, notice his reaction.
	He doesn't say the months.
	Like, the first year is considered good.
	Yeah.
	I couldn't tell it was for within the first year.
	I we had gotten pregnant.
	Yeah, your expectations are too high.
	But don't put too much emphasis on it.
	Just keep having sex.
	Yeah, and you got the no angst right.
	The other advice I would give is don't have the chart with her ovulation and all that dumb shit and oh, we got to do it now.
	Just fuck her every time you're remotely horny.
	Where are they coming from?
	They're coming all over.
	And also, also, like, jizz nice and deep.
	I showed you.
	You've seen the demonstration on how to make a boy, right?
	Yeah.
	Standing doggy.
	But I can't recommend enough.
	After you're done jizzing, don't pull out.
	Stay there.
	Just hang out.
	Lips to nuts for like 40 seconds.
	What's that?
	Say that again?
	Okay.
	Don't let...
	Yeah, then usually she won't talk.
	So should she go to the bathroom right away?
	Because she's always the place to go.
	No, she should do a handstand.
	No, no, she's got to stay upside down.
	There's no pissing after.
	Sex is like not a big deal.
	Maybe I'll rig something up.
	Yeah, maybe that's the problem.
	She's sitting on the toilet and letting it drain out.
	Okay.
	I was afraid of that.
	Yeah.
	No, no pissing.
	She's killing your babies.
	They're coming.
	Good luck.
	Thanks for calling.
	Good luck.
	Okay.
	You know what I don't like, by the way, when you're with a lady sexually?
	You get jizz on.
	It's usually a girlfriend or a wife.
	You get jiz on their hand, and they're like, eh.
	Like, I made that.
	That's my icing.
	What are you going to do to the cake?
	I would love if she love like, oh.
	But, you know, after a while, you don't expect that.
	I don't need you to eat it with a teaspoon, but like, eh.
	Do you want to get it off?
	And also, if you're wearing high heels during the intercourse, can you not kick them off the second that everything's over?
	Leave them on for a bit.
	When you kick them off right after, it sort of implies that you hated them being on the whole time.
	Yeah, keep those heels just for you.
	I don't know why you're calling it.
	I got the tingling of a boner, by the way, from that last call.
	Is that gay?
	Just thinking about the endless nuts he's dropping in her.
	Yeah, and just thinking about her like upside down, like with her legs in the air after letting the jizz drip down.
	Just a blast and go up against the wall, do a handstand for the next 30 minutes.
	Make sure it's in there good.
	I remember the racial realist, Jared Taylor.
	I got drunk with him once, and he said, he's the Japanese guy who isn't Japanese, but he's born in Japan as his mother language.
	And the way he talks about the whites, and after a few whiskeys, he was being quite frank with me.
	And he said, you know, intercourse is obviously incredibly gratifying and feels good.
	That's the desire.
	I feel good forever.
	Being good at it.
	But there's nothing more gratifying than when you're with someone you love and you're trying to make a baby.
	It's actually almost a completely different experience.
	And it's so true.
	When you're not banging a chick in a bar in the bathroom doing Coke and you're like lying on top of a lady to make a baby.
	What is that?
	Yoga?
	It increases the chances of conception.
	The big labowski.
	Hey, man.
	Dude, man.
	Nice marmot, man.
	All right.
	We're running out of time.
	We've got five minutes left.
	All right.
	814.
	Hello.
	Hello.
	What's up, dog?
	Hey, how's it going, Gab?
	Good.
	What's up, man?
	How's it going, Try Guy?
	Good to see you, Maddie.
	Glad you're part of the show now.
	You said...
	I just want to know what the fuck Ryan's doing because you sang Pearl Jam to me earlier and then you took Sam's call.
	Wait, you were not answering the fucking phone, Jeremy.
	No.
	Well, you're on now.
	Let's hear it.
	What do you got?
	Well, I have an experience, personal experience.
	I should be able to wrap it up here in about a minute and get you guys' thoughts on it.
	Maddie's especially.
	I've been trying to call for a couple weeks to get this out there.
	So, 18, a couple months after high school, I got into some trouble.
	I was breaking into some cars with an older friend, supposed friend, actually being used to help his alternate case he had.
	But I was young, dumb, didn't have money.
	Parents weren't helping.
	You know, I did the crime, do the time type of thing.
	So I took a plea agreement from the assistant prosecutor for probation.
	I ended a couple days in the county jail, but I got two years probation in two different counties.
	So four years total, but they were going to run concurrent.
	A couple years ago, and that's all it was supposed to be.
	A couple years ago, I went to buy a rifle for my oldest boy at a Walmart, of all places.
	Went through the NYCS test.
	I got denied.
	And then about two months later, a state cop showed up to my house and wanted to press charges on me for lying on the NYCS test.
	And I ignored his knocks.
	He talked to my wife a couple times.
	Then I finally had to go to the station and talk to him.
	I was like, what do you mean?
	I never, I don't have any felonies.
	They're just misdemeanor charges.
	And he informed me that because if I would have violated my probation, even on a misdemeanor, I would have done two years for that charge.
	So that was equal to me having a felony.
	No, that's feasible.
	Which blew my mind.
	Okay, wait a minute.
	I've talked to quite a few attorneys.
	They won't even touch it.
	They say the only way for me to be able to purchase through a dealer or seller is to get a governor expungement.
	Jesus.
	But what are they charging with?
	Criminal mischief?
	Theft of a motor vehicle, criminal conspiracy.
	Theft of a motorcycle.
	You said you're breaking into the car.
	Obviously, you must have been taken.
	Because to get charged with theft of a motor vehicle, they have to witness you taking it.
	Otherwise, it's possession of stolen property.
	And if you're just breaking the windows and robbing the contents of the car, that's criminal mischief.
	Like, I don't think that would ban you from having a firearm.
	Is it different state by state?
	What state are you in, sir?
	Pennsylvania.
	Sorry.
	Sorry.
	Didn't let you finish.
	Really?
	In PA?
	Mm-hmm.
	And the research that I have been able to do on it, I think the law actually got changed.
	Well, from what my wife did, I actually didn't do the research.
	She did it.
	The laws in PA got changed somewhere within the last 10 to 15 years.
	So I kind of got grandfathered in, which anybody else would have too, that if they would have violated probation and done two years or more on a misdemeanor, that's if they're going to a felony child.
	A misdemeanor, you can only do up to a year in jail.
	This is where they're giving you false information.
	A misdemeanor.
	And a misdemeanor is the highest class of misdemeanor that you can have.
	And it's punishable by one year of incarceration in a county jail, not even state prison.
	It's not a felony.
	Right, right, right.
	So you couldn't have done two years on the charge.
	But he was convicted of three or four different charges, he's saying.
	Yeah, but it doesn't make a difference.
	You got sentences.
	They don't like compound?
	No.
	Can you plea them on to one compounding charge?
	Well, that gives me another angle to kind of go at this.
	I mean, I have plenty of guns.
	I have hand-me-downs.
	I bought all friends and stuff.
	There's no paperwork for private gun transfers from.
	So could you be arrested and sentenced just for having the guns that are in your house now?
	No.
	Not a felony?
	No.
	You just can't buy new guns?
	No, that's what doesn't make sense about it.
	Right.
	Now, some cases of domestic violence, they may not let you have them.
	But I don't know.
	The deal with felons is once they get on that you can't buy a gun list, they can't be near a gun.
	Their wife can't have a gun.
	They can't get in a car that has a gun in the trunk.
	Well, they use that.
	They call that destructive possession because it's knowledgeable.
	It's a carry permit.
	I mean, we drive around all the time with a pistol in the car.
	You know, it's in her name, her license.
	Yeah, it's fine.
	You're not a felony.
	You're not committing any crime.
	So it sounds like you're surrounded by a bunch of lawyers who don't know the law.
	I'm not 100%.
	I mean, Pennsylvania is pretty liberal.
	It's open carry state, and, you know, they have concealed carry.
	Like, that's shocking.
	I mean, I'm not very familiar with Pennsylvania.
	I was disturbed that I got into this trouble.
	I mean, since then, I have three boys and married 19 years now, and it's just insane that I can have guns, but I can't.
	I can purchase them anyway.
	And this is when you were a young man.
	You were young when this happened?
	Yeah, I was 18, right out of high school.
	So they didn't even give you like a YO stat, like a youthful offender status or your first time getting in trouble?
	It's odd.
	No.
	Something's fishy, dude.
	Like I said, I just had a public defender.
	I didn't have money.
	I was broke, you know, so I just took what the state would hand me.
	Get the NRA involved.
	Get some gun group involved.
	This sounds like you're getting ripped off.
	That's a good idea.
	I'll look into that.
	Thank you.
	All right, buddy.
	Like you more than a friend.
	Thanks for calling.
	And that's it.
	We're out of time.
	By the way, Wally was doing a call.
	Did anyone catch what I was doing there?
	I was doing Sarah Silverman.
	Oh.
	I was just going to say.
	She takes her calls.
	She's got her headphones on, and she's always going.
	That's incredibly irritating.
	Oh, I'm on the screen.
	I don't know.
	I was on screen.
	All right, we're going to see if we can punch this beer into the camera.
	It's going to take sort of an uppercut.
	Let's hope it works.
	If it doesn't, that's life.
	You got to keep trying.
	Trial and error is what it's all about.
	If you want to make money, you got to have a bunch of businesses that lose.
	If you want to be lucky in love, you got to get out there, meet some girls, get your name out, compliment them.
	Try to get in those pants, and eventually you'll get married.
	And then you got to keep fucking and fucking.
	And eventually, some sperm's going to take, and you're going to have a baby.
	If they won't let you buy guns, you're going to have to get some fancy lawyers involved.
	And then you'll get guns.
	The common pattern here is keep on pushing, keep on trying, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	Gotta live my truth, not keep it bodily.
	So I don't lose my mind, baby.
	I can feel it on my skin.
	Teardrops on my face.
	Let it wash away my sins.
	Let it wash away.
	I'd rather be dry, but at least I'm a liar.
	It's a fake on me.
	I'd rather be dry, but at least I'm a lie.

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