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July 9, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:47:12
S04E08 - THE WAR ON INDEPENDENCE
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Time Text
I like big dick and I cannot lie.
But the dick must be the right size.
I want 20 inch from top to the end.
With Devin McGinnis, baby, it's like a shit.
However, you prefer to call the dick that you.
And when he comes, he tells me that he loves me.
I'm the one.
His thumb is white like Bob Whitzky's bum.
White like Donald Trump before he turned Orland.
White like Rachel Dozo when she wakes up in the morning.
Gotta throw it in a circle, then look back.
That's some African chick.
I don't know who the hell it was.
That was a reader's submission.
I like big dick.
I like big dicks.
I love big dicks.
Not in a sexual way.
I'm just a fan of them.
You know, like if you go to the aquarium, some people will go to their thing they like, like a jellyfish.
I like jellyfish.
I'll be over there.
I like sea otters.
I remember David Cross was really into otters, and we'd go to the aquarium, and he'd be off at the sea otter section for like half an hour.
I suspect a lot of people say they like that thing just because you're that guy.
It makes you sound kind of like special.
If you're like people go, oh, that's Gavin.
He's really into jellyfish.
It's a jellyfish.
She says, in that song, she says, I like big dicks like a shit brick.
Yeah, I thought that's what she said.
I thought she said like a shit grid at first.
It's not great either.
But I don't, you know, because she's not really.
Imagine you're a black dude.
Some girl grabs your penis and she goes, oh, it's so beautiful.
It looks like a giant piece of shit.
Thanks.
One time when we were tree planting, we were talking about poo and I was with my friend Derek Beckles, who I got him the job there, and he's half Canadian American, African Canadian, I guess they're called.
And I was like, oh, I just have explosive diarrhea every day, whatever.
My shit sucks.
I have a terrible diet.
And she goes, my poo is like nice brown.
It's like Derek Brown.
And she points to him.
I'm like, Megan, I don't think it's really appropriate for you to use human beings to describe your shit.
It's not really done.
Well, what's her name?
Princess Vita?
Kabir Merchant.
No, no, no.
At the very end of the video, the guy who...
There we go.
Princess Vitara.
Vitara.
Let's look up Princess Vitara.
I want to know.
I want to start knowing African countries and hating some and liking some.
Just like the aquarium guy.
I want to be like, oh, don't talk to Gavin about the Congo.
He's a total Kenya nigga.
You know?
I want to be like, I only like the Ivory Coast.
Princess Vitara.
I want to see more videos from her.
She literally does like to eat the poo-poo because she likes steaks to look like shit, right?
Yes.
This isn't a very family-friendly episode.
I have an Instagram with five posts.
I deleted all my old music.
I am rebanding myself.
I don't have to hyper-sexualize myself in order to be excessive.
This is the exact same thing that happened with I Wanna Fuck You With My Heels On You.
She was like, I'm disgusted with myself.
Yeah, she became a born-again Christian.
What's this song about?
Popcorn?
Oh, now she's...
Open your Bible!
Yes, it's very on the nose.
Wow.
Instead of on the pussy.
What happens?
They're really all or nothing, right?
I like big Bible and I like to read about Psalms.
I like a Bible as big as a pile of shit.
That'd be funny if she doesn't quite get her rebranding well.
I want to fuck Jesus Christ in the S. I love God and all the things.
I want God to eat my pussy in a pile of shit.
Like, wow, this is worse than before.
I prefer, just go back to the big dick stuff.
Yeah.
We don't want you, Christians say.
At least that was procreation.
Your analogies are disturbing.
What's this?
The mantis shrimp.
That is a mantis?
Why?
We're not progressing very well with that.
I have to look up how to keep it good.
Also, when I was upstate, I wanted to steal a bunch of salamandas, red Fs, which is illegal.
It is illegal to domesticate wild animals.
I don't know why.
Who gives a shit about a fucking lizard on the ground?
But I wanted to build a terrarium.
But once we were up there, we were high in the mountains.
It was too dry for the lizard.
And to go on a lizard trip, I fucked up and I said no.
Plus, I had to get back here and entertain you guys.
A lizard trip.
Are these things venomous?
He was just showing this red.
There we go.
This guy, right?
Red F?
Yeah, no, they're not remotely lizard.
Okay, well, we're not going to eat them.
Oh, I guess they are toxic.
At one point, I had 14 of those features in a terrarium.
They keep really well.
You'd only have to feed them once every couple weeks, once a week at the most.
Buy some crickets from the pet store.
They're awesome.
When was this?
When we lived upstate, I would just pick up a rock.
It's so rocky down there in the Catskills near the Delaware.
They've never had any arable land.
They never had an industry.
They never had lumber.
Pennsylvania had lumber, but the New York side never did.
Sometimes Pennsylvania would throw as a bone.
This is where my neighbors were Mark Ruffalo and Albert Hammond Jr.
Mark Ruffalo was seminal in banning fracking in the neighborhood, making sure no local kids, young men, could have jobs, and they got to go to Afghanistan, have the time of their lives.
Thanks, Mark.
Cares more about his precious home's drinking water than the lives of the locals.
But yeah, if you were going to plant a tree, you would bring a pickaxe.
That's how rocky it was.
You didn't need to bring a shovel.
You just lift out the rocks and the little bit of dirt that was there, you could take out with your hands.
And anyway, every time I picked up a rock, there was a little red F. They start aquatic, they start as newts, and then they become land dwellers, then they go back to the river to die, back to the pond.
I don't know if that's true of all salamanders, but it's cool.
So we should do both of that.
I want to have a terrarium with salamanders, red Fs.
That is awesome.
That's cool because it's illegal.
Hell yeah.
And then I also want to have a mantis shrimp.
And I also like the idea of going to the pet store to buy food.
Like you buy little guppies or something for the mantis shrimp, and then you buy a bunch of crickets for the salamanders.
Yeah.
It seems very Bond villain.
Hello, Mr. Bond.
I'm just killing crickets and tiny fish.
You're making a thing eat other things?
Yeah, it's awesome.
Live bait.
Why do you have...
I understand why you have one cord going through your window for the bar cam, although we should fix that.
But why is the other cord going through your window?
Oh, that was to mic up Maddie.
We had to...
Mike up Maddie?
We had to use a directional mic for him.
Oh, but we're going to go through.
Both of those can go through the hole.
And it was a different direction.
So it was going out to that second speaker, and then I had to flip that male piece inside, and then that piece out to the mic.
So I had to do a flip.
That sounds dumb and wrong.
No.
At some point, it's plugged into the board.
So make that point go through the hole into the board.
So there is a female clip.
The female clip goes into the.
It takes the mic.
Right.
Whatever's plugged into your thing can be unplugged, then put through the hole and replugged.
No, because that was an output.
So it was going from the board to the speaker.
Yeah, that doesn't matter, though.
It does.
Just whatever's plugged into the board, unplug it, put it through the hole and re-plug it.
It was not going through the hole.
Even the cord itself.
I know, but it can now.
It doesn't have enough space to go through.
It's got plenty of space.
Even pulling...
Try to pull on that cord.
Even just the cord part was not going through.
I had to rip it out.
You mean from the camera now?
The head would not come out.
Like, this is the head part that's thicker than the cord part, and this part was not going through easy.
So this part would not go through at all.
That sounds suspicious.
I mean, why don't you explain what happened last night?
We didn't get up till 3 in the morning?
Yeah, the encoder said that the audio bit rate changed an hour into the video.
I don't know, which isn't true.
So I just re-exported it.
Twice I tried to upload it, like make a new show, and then the third time I just re-exported it and then uploaded it.
People complain about all that stuff.
Guys, it's a live show.
You want to watch the show on Thursdays?
Then tune in from 9 to 11.
You get the show.
Also, we're figuring out a way to just repost the stream in the meantime.
We're just going to do that.
And it's slightly lower quality.
Yeah.
My bubble burst.
My internet.com boom burst.
Amazon is not worth 250 times anim anymore.
Curtis said, because he's a chef, he's like, wait till it, you think it's painful now?
Wait till it bursts.
Zero pain.
Absolutely nothing at all.
So I don't know what the fuck he's talking about.
If the skin tears off, that hurts.
You know, like, but the bursting doesn't hurt.
I was going to tell you that before, but I was like, maybe you know something that I don't.
But if you reveal the skin under it, that hurts.
So is this guy peeling the skin off?
That's a totally different thing.
Totally different thing.
That's like someone says stubbing your toe really, really hurts.
And you go, no, it doesn't, but chopping your foot off hurts.
Yeah, he's like, but the stubbing happens first.
Ryan found the crybaby.
Oh, yeah.
So let's do a new segment called yesterday's news.
Inevitably, when we talk about something, we're going to find the clip later, or people are going to send in shit going, you should have mentioned this guy.
So new segment starting now, yesterday's news.
And as we were wrapping up last night and the show was over, Ryan dug up the crybaby from the end of yesterday's show.
By the way, look at my shirts are all perfect now, Nita Fashions.
One great thing about the South Bronx, besides the mysterious knock, knock on the window, which has me freaked out, because the more you think about it, the more it's like, we're here, we know you're here.
And then he leaves.
It's not like, hey, guys.
It's not friendly.
It's foreboding.
But anyway, I get my shirts, and I had like eight shirts, right?
And she goes, I should have known something was going to be going well because you walk in and it's sweltering.
There's zero AC.
It's 95 degrees.
And she's just sweating like a pig, doesn't care, which is good because it shows that she's not greedy.
And she goes, that'll be $16, please.
It's $2 each.
That's crazy.
Or you go down, what's that big street that has all the, where you get your car fixed?
Jerome, which we're not far from.
Jerome Boulevard.
I could blindfold you, put you on a plane, make the plane sound like it was going up, like make it land again.
We could have just gone in circles.
Drive to Jerome and go, well, what do you think of Africa?
And you go, wow, it's almost like America.
I can see the roads are in.
There's no rhyme or reason to the roads.
If you rode a skateboard on the roads of Jerome, you would die.
A bicycle couldn't handle it.
A mountain bike, maybe.
Cars, you're just going boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
You have to go one mile an hour.
But they'll fix your tire for 50 bucks.
Boom.
Replace it, I mean.
I don't mean like patch it.
Totally replace your tire for 50 bucks.
We don't know where they got the tires from.
I think they're from the garbage.
I think they're just tires that shouldn't be on the road.
But still, that's the South Bronx, the Boogie Down Bronx.
We're blending right in.
But yeah, perfect shirt.
Anyway, sorry.
Let's see this crybaby.
It's a great way to start a fun weekend.
Ladies and gentlemen, the weekend.
And yes, I was wrong.
Ryan was right.
It wasn't that he was raped.
It's that he was beaten.
She hit him.
And he goes, domestic violence has no gender.
Dude, I've watched Ryan get beaten by a previous girl.
Yeah.
I have it on video.
He won't let me show it.
No.
What?
No.
But not only are you not a man if you complain about being hit by a woman, you're not a man if you remember it.
Like, remember I told you about my buddy who got in a fight with that black dude?
Because the black guy said to him, move your car, nigga.
When I reminded him about it a few days later, he goes, what?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, yeah.
That was some bullshit.
He was talking fucking trash.
And I went to fight him.
And he kept doing that backup thing.
And then a bunch of other guys came out and the bouncer took me back into the bar.
Police had to take me to my car.
I forgot about that.
That was much more consequential.
And he forgot about that.
So he's more of a man than you and I. But to remember a girl losing her shit.
Why are we even talking to her?
Fuck you.
I hate you.
And you like hold her wrist.
You go, calm down, calm down.
That was my mother I was talking to.
I kissed her because I was kissing her goodbye.
It was Mother's Day.
Well, you brought her flowers.
You want to fuck her?
No, I don't want to fuck my mother.
Calm down.
You know what my mom will do sometimes?
She's had a few sips.
She'll give my brother's girlfriend a brooch or something, right?
And then...
Oh, yeah.
Have I told you this before?
The girlfriend, he'll be going to visit my parents, and he'll say to the girlfriend, can you wear that stupid, hideous brooch from a Salvation Army?
Because my mom will shop at the Salvation Army.
That's her, like, Macy's.
So she'll go in, buy garbage.
The Salvation Army is a...
It's indistinguishable from the dump.
It looks exactly the same.
It's fucking garbage.
They don't even try.
Like, you can't tell what is the do not enter back room and what is the front room.
Just shit everywhere.
So she'll go into that shit shack and she'll just buy like some brooch or some fake costume jewelry or like, I don't know, a little boot, ceramic boot that you could put a dandelion in.
Like shit nobody wants.
That's why it's at the Salvation Army.
She'll give it to her and then my brother will say, can you wear that while we visit her?
It mean a lot to her.
And then my mother will see it, forget she gave it to her, and assume that not only did this woman rob her of her incredibly valuable $1.80 brooch, but that the woman is fucking gloating.
Or she forgot she stole it.
Emal, you're the one who forgot.
Okay, that's not your typical Sally Ann.
Like, that guy cares.
That's rare.
The ones in the Bronx have to be seen to be believed.
I was just there waiting for money to pick me up, which took longer than it would have taken for me to walk to the studio.
But anyway, that's cool.
From where I was.
And then she says to my brother, like, come here.
Your girlfriend was just caught red-handed.
And it'll be a huge dramatic thing.
Or she had this little guy.
It was on a piece of, like, iron ore, and it was a little gold man.
And when I say little, I mean like the size of an eyeball, this big.
And she goes, your friends stole my wee fool's gold piece.
And he goes, hey, I found this in the basement.
Is this what you're talking about?
And she goes, oh, all right.
Well, the wee gold man is gone.
And that's pure gold.
Meanwhile, that means it's worth like, I don't know, $45.
It's minuscule.
I could swallow it and my stomach would be fine.
I could hide it up my nose for a year.
If it was a dick, Lady Vitara would not be happy.
She would not be interested.
If it was a dick, people would go, oh no, someone cut Ryan's dick off.
And they turned it into gold.
So I tell my wife this story and my wife goes, I think she gave me that once.
And like a year later, she's going through a junk drawer and she sends me a picture and there is the little iron or I mean little gold man.
Anyway, I don't know how I got there, but being hit by a woman is literally nothing.
The salvation.
She forgets.
That was the whole thing.
Oh, yeah.
You shouldn't remember it, right?
You definitely shouldn't report it.
Crying about it?
Well, I mean.
I don't think you're an earthling.
You don't belong on earth.
You can talk about that shit right now.
But I feel like I need to.
Okay.
Because.
Sorry.
Say sorry to me, man.
Say sorry to camera.
This is the only place we could find a list of ghetto commentary, which is.
Believe it or not, he deleted it.
One expects dead lover to be a monster, but that shit happened all the time.
His mom should have deleted it when she was pregnant with him.
To be honest, I didn't think I was going to get emotional at all.
I thought that.
I thought that I'm tough now.
I have dealt with this.
It's...
What's looking at the snot?
What do you want to see there?
That's him being tough.
He goes, the little gold man you stuck up there a year ago?
Why are you looking at your thumb?
No at all.
I thought that.
I thought that I'm tough now.
I have dealt with this.
It's...
I thought it's something that...
Please look at your hand.
Yes.
You did it.
We covered this years ago when it first came out.
Toronto has zero testosterone in it at all.
It's all gone.
It has the weakest men in the world.
Okay, get your mascara.
What?
And then he looks at it.
That is bizarre.
He looks at his mascara.
Dude, you're not wearing mascara.
You're mimicking a woman crying.
This is sort of like gays when they're like, hi, girl.
And you go, you're mimicking woman, but I don't know any woman who act like that.
So this is weird.
Now, hold on a second.
Nicole Arbor.
Yes.
She remade That entire This Is America video from Childish Gambino.
Correct.
Childish Gambino is a man.
Yes.
But she embodied him.
Is it possible Nicole Arbor has some technology where she dresses up like man, and this is actually a female her pretending to be him?
That's a great theory.
In the future, can you just speak all your theories directly into the garbage?
Yeah, yes.
Save the middleman being my ears.
Okay.
I spoke to Nicole after this, and she was very wary of me because she knows I'm a blabber mouth, and I'll be saying it on a microphone, on a television many times.
But she was like, yeah, it was shockingly embarrassing.
And it's not like she took him out.
This was like a, god damn it.
And then he probably, oh my God, what would you pay to see the actual hit?
And his reaction is he went, oh, am I bleeding?
Do I call the police, right?
I mean, what do I do?
I don't want you to go to jail, Nicole.
But what do you expect me to do?
You just committed a crime.
Wait till my mother hears about this.
I'm buried deep in what I would never talk about again.
Okay, now we'll do it.
But I feel compelled to because.
Man, I'm fucking waiting, man.
I was in an abusive relationship.
Oh, shit.
Here we go.
I was in a relationship with an individual who...
When I first got with them, everything was everything was better than you could ever imagine.
Oh, that's how they get chilled.
That's the point insulting to my imagination.
Man, you gotta tell me this is age, man.
I was made to feel sexy.
Ah, you sexy now.
You know, I don't let them lie to you now.
And that that person was all that I ever needed.
All right, that's enough.
I don't think we get more crying.
By the way, Nicole Arbor's off frame there.
There's a little more crying.
And by the way, I think that he hit big with this video, so he replicated this, like this formula.
And check this out.
Just, you know, while trying to look for this video, I found some other ones.
Everything I own was stolen.
So I'm guessing that was the most viral he's ever been, right?
So now he's Cry Guy.
This one's I Lost a Friend Today.
You know what I mean?
He used to not do these just bitching and crying things.
He used to do like goofy vlogs.
Like, hey guys, I just went shopping.
About spooky things, like top 10 drone footage things found in the woods.
Or whatever.
And now it's Cry Guy.
I'm going to try to get through this video.
That's a real pet peeve of mine is the ring around your neck.
First off, what is that?
You don't have fingers?
Why don't you have a sock around your neck, too?
Or some earrings?
I can't.
And I just got a phone call from them saying that the trailer that was holding all of my stuff has been stolen.
That doesn't happen.
You're lying.
It doesn't say that.
You're lying.
It doesn't say that.
You're a liar.
Although I will say, as a thief, that's at least something decent to steal.
I hate people stealing one Amazon package.
What's going to be like kids' monopoly?
But you steal an entire trailer, odds are you're going to have a pretty good setup.
This one's he lost a friend.
This is not the way I wanted to start my week.
Oh, yeah.
Every time he does one of these two, he's so, he can't believe he has to do this.
I have to.
It's like I didn't think I was going to be doing this.
I don't usually do vlogs where I cry, except every single day.
And it always wanted the best for them.
And I know now that they know the full level of my gratitude for their friendship and early in my career.
And to be honest, this individual largely was responsible for giving me my shot.
This is also a very gay woman thing to say this individual and this person, it's like go on a hunt, try to find.
I am married to a certain person who hit me for reasons that I won't mention.
Yeah.
Like, like, what's her name?
Kale's girl, who says, this is what it's like to be in an abusive relationship and shows her legs all bruised up.
People obviously go back and see that she was dating Kale Hartman and his life was flushed down the toilet.
Was that Heather or something?
I didn't do anything.
Heather something, wasn't it?
I forget her name.
All right, let's move on.
The gay chorus from yesterday.
So we said, look, we're not scared of gays, but we don't like you shoving, and this is an unfortunate analogy, shoving your sexuality, your proclivities, your perversions, your kink down our children's throats, like Drag Queen Story Hour, that woman who said, kink belongs,
your kids should know about the kink at the parade.
And then we also said, but you do tend to be disproportionately represented in inappropriate sexual behavior.
And now it turns out that, according to 4chan, a lot of the guys in that video who are members of that chorus are sex offenders.
There's Keith Aaron Pepper.
What was his?
Lewed or lascivious acts with a child under 14?
That's not good.
It's not good for you to be singing, we're coming for your children.
What's this guy got?
Move the offenses over.
They're behind my head.
Oh, the same exact charge.
Yeah.
These are the guys singing away about, we're coming for your children.
We're going to convert them.
This is gay privilege.
Like, if a mega person swears, jaywalks, farts on a Thursday, they never hear the end of it.
No, like I said choke a tranny once.
It was in reaction to guys calling themselves trannies and spitting in people's faces.
That will follow me and my children for the rest of my life.
These guys fuck kids and then get on a video where They mock us for being wary of them and say, Yeah, we are going to attack your children.
We're going to attack their negative attitudes and make them positive people.
No, no, it turns out you're literally going to attack our children and sexually assault them.
Raymond Mark Gonzalez.
And here's the elephant in the room, too, with this gay thing.
If you have a room of 100 gays, you're going to have a lot more sex offenders than if you have a room of 100 straights.
That's just a hate fact.
I'm sorry.
Second tenor.
Anyway, I thought this is not really related, but it is related.
Chelsea Clinton, of all people.
She's my mentor.
I want to be like her one day.
Chelsea 2024.
Wouldn't that be funny if she ran and won and was amazing?
She was Ron Reagan, Maggie Thatcher combined, and just dismantled the government, privatized everything.
Please don't comment on kids' appearances.
Please don't invade kids' privacy.
Please don't, quote-unquote, joke about kids.
Please leave kids alone and let kids be kids.
Now, that would be very brave if it was about this gay choir or any of this gay shit.
And then lastly, in the kids thing, this doesn't really belong in this subject, but I can't not mention this big story about this guy who kidnapped a girl, picked her up, we're hearing about it because he's white, picked her up off her bike, she's six years old, throws her in the car and drives off.
Should a six-year-old be riding her bike alone?
She was in front of the house.
Depends on the neighborhood.
The neighborhood looked all right.
I guess not these days.
Well, the good news is there was some guy in his porch.
So actually, it was safe in a sense because she was being monitored.
They call the cops.
They don't go and beat him.
I mean, I would just say just ram into the car.
Ram into the front of the car and get her out of there.
But they were more prudent.
They called the police.
They followed her.
And then the cops got him.
He's an ugly little creep.
You know what sucks too, right?
Let's say you're trying to save an endangered kid.
They're lost or something.
You're like, oh, I'll give you a ride back home.
You can't do that anymore because these ruin it for people.
Because now there are so many pedophiles.
But that used to be a thing.
No, no, no, Brian.
You can do that.
What you can't do is grab a kid off her bike, throw her in the car, and then say, I was taking her home because she was at home.
But if you see a kid in trouble.
You don't think you'd be a little more...
Oh, everyone's wary of kids today because of all this fucking pedophilia, everything.
Like Bill Burr was like, dude, I can't be near a kid.
Yeah.
I don't want to be like in five feet of a kid.
No, that's the way it is.
Everyone's scared of them now.
But if I see a kid in trouble, I'm going to risk going to jail to get that kid home and safe.
True.
But in that whole thing, remember what Anthony said when compound censored?
He's like, if I see a guy beating up a chick and then I start intervening, she's going to start hitting me and be like, get the fuck out of here.
He's like, fuck that.
I'm done being a hero.
Yeah, we differ on that.
It's funny.
I love it when someone you share everything on and they go, no, I don't like that.
But he made a valid point about that.
Yeah, well, Howard Stern is like that too.
If Howard Stern sees anything outside his limousine, like an 18-year-old girl getting beaten by a seven-year-old boy, he's still like, no, thanks.
Actually, I would that too.
But you know what I mean?
Like, no matter how easy it would be to handle the situation, he's just like, not for me.
But that's because he's a pussy, though.
Like, Anthony, I think, came around.
He was like, yeah, I used to think that way, but now it's like, fuck it.
Yeah, well, Anthony's obviously not coming from a pussy place.
He's coming from a fuck them place.
Yeah.
You fucked up.
You shouldn't have been there.
Yeah, don't date him.
Okay, so now in yesterday's news, we have Avenati, which obviously we're not going to get 100% of the things.
Great memes coming out, especially from Carpe Donktum, our very own Carpe.
You know the guy who hung out with the president?
Why is it everyone else kissed to hang out with the president?
It makes me very upset.
If you were never canceled, you'd be on Fox News every night.
You'd be at the White House.
I'd go with you.
Actually, I probably would never hang out with you.
I was on Fox News every night.
It's boring.
Yeah, but you'd stay on there.
It takes six hours out of your day for like five minutes of content at the most.
And by the way, I was thinking of that when we were getting ready for the show today.
It's so top heavy, these big shows.
Like with Red Eye, all the guests contribute their feelings on the topics.
Before you get to the topics, like four researchers all pitch 15 news items.
So that's 60 news items.
There's room for like 15.
And then the host, he has like 15 of his own.
We get 75 plus the guests, and you have to whittle that down to 15.
It's idiotic.
It's like caterers making enough food for a wedding, and then one man, like Mugabe, sits there with all his different food items and has a little bite of each.
I've heard that from comics delete.
They try to write for it, and they're like, they don't even hit any of the topics you wrote for.
Really?
Yeah, yeah.
Like Nick Mullen was like, he used to be on Red Eye with Dave Smith.
You can't write for Red Eye.
Well, they give you topics like an hour before or so.
Yeah, those are the questions.
And then you prepare for it, and he's like, sometimes you don't even get to half the things.
Yeah, whatever.
Anyway, this is a good meme.
Last night, Tucker was saying you shouldn't gloat.
It's not right to gloat about someone going to prison.
Ah, I'm gloating.
I'm gloating it up.
Avenatti said Trump is going to president.
Sorry, Trump is going to prison.
No one looked him up.
They just said that guy found someone that Trump fucked, probably.
And that's good enough for us.
Because it's horrible for a billionaire New Yorker who's been famous almost his entire life to have fucked a slut.
That's their smoking gun.
I'm old enough to remember when Michael Avenatti said Trump was going to prison.
Next.
Next picture.
Remember when CNN and the liberals wanted him to run for president?
Guess he really was the perfect scumbag for them.
President Michael Avenatti, never say never.
Meanwhile, this guy's doing so much coke that when you tell him that kind of shit, he's like, yes, I am going to be the next president.
And then Tucker's show had a great montage.
It starts at 15 seconds in.
This is 1-7 of how I forgot how far up their ass, how far up Avenatti's ass the left was.
Turn it up.
They called him a future president.
That's value most.
If they decide they value a fighter most, people would be foolish to underestimate Michael Avenatti.
Existential threat to the Trump presidency.
Please welcome attorney Michael Avenatti.
No one has talked tougher directly to Donald Trump on TV than Michael Avenatti.
And Donald Trump is afraid to mention his name.
Michael Avenatti is a beast.
Okay, that's true.
He's a beast.
He's a beast.
And he keeps popping Donald Trump and all of his folks in the mouth repeatedly.
He's a beast.
And so John Meacham says he may be the savior of the Republic.
I owe Michael Avenatti an apology.
For the last couple of weeks, I've been saying enough for Reading, Michael.
I've seen you everywhere.
What do you have left to say?
I was wrong, brother.
Those are not cable news clips.
That was a good one.
I was wrong, brother.
They showed Eddie Gowd there.
Remember Eddie Gowd?
Go to the second link in 27e.
I think he might be my favorite black dir in the world.
He's got that, think I know why.
That I want to start doing the show like this.
Welcome back again to get off my alarm.
We are here figuratively, digitally, but I think we're together.
We're together in a struggle, a struggle not to define ourselves, but to define one another in a context of history that is about recognizing the past and how we got here.
But more importantly, moving forward and defining ourselves not by our past, which we recognize and are not absolved from, but moving forward into our future.
That is the America I know and love.
It's not here today, and it's not great, but it's out there.
And is it up to these leaders, these pundits, these politicians?
Is it up to them to choose it, to define it, to make it real?
No.
It's up to you.
And just as much, it's up to me.
Just as much.
There is no justice.
It is just us.
And we are going to form a conspiracy not for evil, but we are conspiring for good.
And I think I know why.
Did you find the Eddie Gowd?
No, not that one.
The second one, I said.
27E.
That's Chris Ruffo, which is also good.
Look at his hands and his face.
His mannerisms are so self-absorbed.
It's like he's doing it on a TikTok in a bathroom mirror.
Ugh, stupid glasses.
Does his glasses always match his tie?
That's embarrassing, if so.
Princeton University?
Remember Ivy Leagues when you'd go, ooh, Harvard, Princeton?
Let me guess, this guy has a PhD in oppression.
You know, America's not unique in its sins as a country.
We're not unique in our evils, to be honest with you.
Thanks for laying it out.
I think where we may be singular is our refusal to acknowledge them and the legends and myths we hear about our past.
Refusal to acknowledge them?
What's critical race theory?
What is half the country screaming about?
As a day gone by where you haven't heard about the sins of our past and how we stole our land, your children are hearing it right now at fucking camp.
They're hearing it at baseball practice.
Don't steal third, the way that our ancestors stole land from the Indians.
Our refusal to recognize it, I wish.
Keep going.
You know, goodness to hide and cover and conceal.
Don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything, don't say anything.
That protects our innocence.
See, the thing is that when the Tea Party was happening, we were saying pundits, oh, it's just about economic populism.
It's not about our answers.
People knew.
People knew social scientists were already writing that what was driving the Tea Party were anxieties about demographic shifts.
Right, right.
We were seeing these babies.
Tea Party had nothing to do with racism, you fucking loser.
Don't say anything, don't say anything.
From the top of their lungs, you know, this is not just simple economic populism.
This is the ugly underbelly of the country.
See, the thing is, is this, and I'll say this, and I'll take the hit on it.
The communities that have had to bear the brunt of America confronting, white Americans confronting the danger of their innocence.
And it happens every day.
Okay, that's enough.
That's enough.
I do love it.
And we've played that clip many times.
It's also arduous.
And it starts to chip away at you.
You know what I mean?
It's like...
Holy shit.
It's like shizmobbin or war movies.
After you've seen like 10 jihadists get their head blown off, you sort of go, all right, all right, all right.
But yeah, so his point there was, I told you that the Tea Party was all about racism.
You didn't believe me.
And now look, we have January 6th that was pure racism.
I warned you, and you're like, you haven't proven shit.
Go back and prove the Tea Party theory first.
Now prove Trump is all about race.
Now prove January 6th, the meandering was about race.
But what they do is their proof that They were right about America being racist, is that people don't want to be bombarded with critical race theory.
What?
So, the reason your theory's right is: I don't like you hammering your theory into my kids' heads.
So, I must be racist.
That's the worst logic I've ever heard.
And here is Eddie Gowd with that sanctimonious smirk.
I don't think I've seen this clip yet, but look how tired he is of Chris Ruffo's bullshit.
This is someone who's actually here to prove that America is being divided with Eddie Gowd's rhetoric.
I'm deeply concerned about the substance, but what I'm concerned about and what millions of parents are really concerned about is things that are happening in hundreds of public schools in Illinois and Chicago, where they're teaching kindergarten, children as young as kindergarten, that whiteness is the devil and attempts to lure people into it with the promise of stolen land and stolen riches.
That's a book that's being used in hundreds of schools, and people don't think that's right.
People want to know where it comes from.
People want to know what ideologies inform it.
I'm deeply concerned about the substance, but what I'm concerned about is that replaying this thread.
Maybe there's more.
Yeah, I could.
So he doesn't respond.
It's more just that face.
Like, he's rolling his eyes at Rufo's accusation that it's in schools.
Rufo's not making this up.
In fact, on his own Twitter thread, he listed all the reasons why, which is a courtesy that you get if you're on Twitter.
This is why I'm entering Trump's court case, because people make up shit about me, and I'm unable to defend myself, and then others link it as a fact.
There is no debate over critical race theory.
So that was a bit of a tangent.
But that kind of brings us to the meandering.
We're talking about the meandering.
Some kind of, it's mainstream.
One of our viewers sent this in.
January 6th meandering.
Cut to the background of them.
We have meandering footage, don't we?
By the way, have you been seeing all the submissions?
Yeah, there's been a lot coming through.
Are you getting them, though?
Have we declared a winner?
Do you read the mailbag?
I've gotten a good amount, but it seems like we kind of settled on the Jose panel.
No, no, no, Ryan.
Don't give me excuses for having not checked them out.
You literally, you swiped them away.
I said it's looking like it's going to be that guy.
That doesn't mean you ignore all the other submissions.
I remember bringing it up two or three shows ago, maybe two, three live shows ago.
Yeah, but you understand there's certain expressions like, who are we kidding?
It's going to be that guy that wins.
That doesn't literally mean it's definitely going to be that guy that wins.
You amassed all the submissions, then you put them in folders.
You got to learn that word.
Folders.
So you have a feminism folder.
And then that all goes in a folder that's called like backgrounds.
Okay.
I mean, should I say the conversation that we had?
Sure.
Okay.
I was like, are we going to keep checking out submissions?
Like, honestly, I think we've got to go with that Jose guy because they're all like similar.
So don't even bother.
No, I did not.
Definitely did not say don't even bother.
I never say that.
Do less work.
Don't make the show better.
Don't have more stuff.
Don't accrue more footage.
I don't say that.
I have loaded new ones in here and we never.
That's irrelevant to the conversation.
I mean, I had them in there.
I was like, should we show those?
And you're like, nah, don't.
Nah, don't.
You said, should we show those?
I said, nah, do not.
Not verbatim.
Do not have variety on this show.
I know how I feel, Ryan, and how I feel is maximum content, maximum variety.
Okay.
Well, I'm just...
The great thing about this contest is we have 9 million feminism things now.
All the submissions we still have.
And then there's the guy that's the winner.
Now, if I said, who are we kidding?
That main guy's going to be the winner.
That's an expression that means it's likely true.
98%.
You still have to allow for the 2%.
Yeah, no, I like it.
Anyway, are you getting all these submissions and organizing them into...
Write this down right now on your little notepad.
Organize submissions into folders.
Here's some other unseen ones that we never use here.
This one's really cool.
Oh, that one's awesome.
Then there's a new LGBT one.
I think I've mixed this one in.
Well, let me see a meandering one.
We got annoyed at the other one.
The meandering?
We'll look at those later.
Is this?
Let's make that on our to-do list for today to have a big judge.
I think the submission...
Well, I was still getting submissions today.
Maybe on Monday, we'll go through all the submissions and define the winner.
It's looking like this guy.
Looking like it.
Anyway, January 6th meandering.
Kind of a lefty news source.
It's one of these like Tim Pool things that, or maybe not Tim Poole.
He's more slightly right of center.
But they bring up this thing.
FBI undercover employee to Capitol Defendant.
Hey, brother, you were masked up in the Capitol, right?
Capital Defendant.
Yeah, why?
FBI undercover employee to Capitol Defendant.
I keep hearing about good people getting hunted down for this shit, just paranoid.
So they did have undercover, they did have feds involved in the January 6th meandering.
But you go, okay, so the right sees that and says, this is evidence that they started it and they got people riled up.
But the left has to at least concede that the FBI were involved and that makes them partly responsible, including for Ashley Babbitt's death.
If you knew there was going to be people going into the Capitol and someone died and you could have prevented it, aren't you responsible for the death, especially when that's your job as the Federal Bureau of Investigation?
I thought this was unusual.
26B.
Remember Gwen Berry?
The chick who went from like holding the American flag, loving America?
We've also discovered racist tweets of hers, by the way.
But in 26B, she goes, I wish I was at the White House right now.
I'd be helping all my folks out.
Does that mean the black cops, maybe?
But like BLM people aren't into any cops.
I'm lost.
I'm usually good at figuring out weird shit.
What was happening at 5?
Was that the cleanup portion?
Was that at the head of the meandering?
I don't think anything was going on.
And she's probably on island time.
She was probably talking about three hours earlier.
I don't know.
Weird.
I guess she means anyone who was fighting back against the meanderers, but no one was.
So who were her folks?
You know what happened?
She probably saw like three Antifa on her little anal Twitter feed that's all her very tight-knit activist groups.
And she said, I'd be with my BLM Antifa people fighting these guys.
Yeah, I think that's it.
And she doesn't realize that there wasn't really anyone fighting these guys.
Because Antifa are pussies.
The only Antifa there were starting fights.
Gary Coleman sums it up.
That's a t-shirt I want to make.
Gary Coleman was murdered.
Yeah.
That'd be a fun crusade for us.
Wouldn't it?
Does his wife make the shirt?
Because she's something to look at.
She's a...
Like, the picture of them together, it's like really creepy.
Like, she's going to murder him and eat him, maybe.
Yeah, this looks like a horror movie picture.
Poor little guy.
And they were together for zero time.
How much money did she get?
He wasn't rich.
He didn't look rich.
He was into trains.
He kind of had the vibe of $100,000 a year in royalties.
I mean, I guess that's very wealthy, especially if you're white trash.
But what does she get?
50?
Anyway.
We're done with yesterday's news.
We did a lot of tangents there.
Let's jump into some feminism.
Feminism.
That font has got to go.
Who in their right mind uses that font?
And why is the meandering still behind me?
You got to get a little quicker than that on the draw, dude.
1, 1,000, 2, 1,000.
Okay, remember this yesterday, I guess this still is a little bit yesterday's news.
I was talking about punchable faces.
We had a caller talking about punchable faces, and they brought up a few.
And then we had a letter today where someone goes, you want to see a punchable face?
Check out this guy.
So jump down to 20, 20.
And this guy makes useless inventions.
And I saw his face, and I was like, yeah, I can see the punchability there.
But then I got lost looking at what he does, and he makes unnecessary inventions, which the Japanese have always called Chindagu.
Oh, look, he put himself as one of the other people watching this.
This is an oscillating TV stand, so you don't have to worry about where you're sitting.
Everyone gets a good view of what's going on.
And what struck me about all of these inventions is the incredible quality.
Like, I was always a fan of the Japanese version, Chindagu, which means useless machine.
That's 2-1.
I had like a little coffee table book of them.
They're really funny.
And they're really good.
Like, look at the quality there.
That guy's capturing rainwater.
That guy's tie as an umbrella.
That woman can constantly blow her nose.
But nothing looks cheap, you know?
Like those eye drop holder things.
You don't see the glue.
And then you go to the bigotry of low expectations.
And remember that girl, Simone Gertz, who has 2.5 million subscribers.
And she goes, I'm kind of like that.
I do the useless inventions.
And I'm really good at it.
I make my own robots.
And you go, no, you don't.
You suck.
Turn it up.
And I've done things like cutting hair with drones.
Look at that gross sheet with stains on it.
Is that a period piss stain?
It's symmetrical, so the sheet was folded.
It was folded, and then it bled through.
Dude, that might be jizz.
Yeah, chick jizz or...
Like sex stain.
It's a sex stain.
That's in Confederacy of Dunces when Ignatius J. Riley gives his fellow protesters a sign for the strike they're doing at the factory, and they don't want to touch the sign because there's weird stains on the sheet.
It's one of the only times I laughed out loud reading a book.
And there it is in real life.
She's Ignatius J. Riley.
And in Clown World, clowns like Ignatius get 2.5 million subs.
Well, that's Nick Offerman as him?
Yeah.
They've been trying to make that movie for 100 years.
To a machine that helps me wake up in the morning.
Okay, stop, stop, stop.
Look at the quality of that.
That went viral.
She's on talk shows.
What a brilliant girl she is.
You know that the alarm clock does not, has nothing to do with the wrist.
And the cotton thing.
And it's, they laugh because she got her hair caught in it.
And that's supposed to be part of the joke.
But the only thing exceptional about this is a stupid accident.
So then you go back to Punchable Face and you go, this is what useless inventions look like in a meritocracy.
Like, look at all of these.
Well, that one's just easy to make fake, right?
Actually, I don't know if it is.
But look at the butter hand.
So that's for putting butter on your corn in the cob.
Funny joke, right?
But fuck the joke.
Look at the quality of all the seams and everything in the holder.
And then look at the butter holder.
The opening for the butter holder.
It's perfect.
Like there's zero flaws.
It looks like something you bought, which of course Makes the joke 80% better.
It's funny, it doesn't make his face punchable anymore.
Can someone explain to me what's going on here?
Like, go back up, go back up a bit.
Stop.
See the thing he's holding in his hand with his sweatshirt and the string?
Is that a no?
This sweatshirt and the string.
Is that a 3D printer he has?
Slide your hoodie strings into it and pull up.
And now the strings on your hoodie will always be the same exact length.
Does anybody else hate when their hoodie strings?
Like, what's going on?
If you're going to make a prototype, I think you have to make 1500 of it.
So to make these cool plastic things, he must have a 3D printer and then he beautifully sands.
Here, go to the one where he's driving and he gets fresh air.
Like that thing is beautiful.
And it gives the joke the vehicle it needs.
Whoa, what's happening to the screen now?
Yeah, that thing.
Look at that.
The different colors and everything.
I kind of want that.
Sometimes these are so good that they're good.
They sell them.
They have a bunch of them for sale.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
So that explains the 1500 thing.
Because he is making 1500 of them.
And then it becomes like a fun joke present.
Oh, that explains it all.
Like, if the oscillating TV thing is for sale, it's probably like 60 bucks.
Go to his site.
Has he got like a thing to sell them?
Because in that case, everything makes sense now.
Now he's sending drawings to China.
They're sending back a prototype and he's saying yes.
Merch.
It would be under merch.
Oh, yeah.
Sold out.
Jigsaw puzzle coffee table.
Cool.
It's a cute corner.
It's already sold out.
The snack mingo, of course.
You have a floating snack bag.
Oh, this is okay.
We finally figured it out live on the show.
Flipping mittens.
Pizza holder, of course.
A zucker rug.
The baguette pack.
Oh, vote from home booth.
That's cool.
The unnecessary.
It's 3D printed.
For sure.
The other things, like, you can't 3D print that, so, like, some work went into that.
Yeah.
Okay, we get it now.
Fun stuff.
This is going to piss you off.
You ever be gaming and you have some snacks, but you don't want to get your hands all dirty?
Yeah, all the time.
There's this thing that attaches to your fingers.
It's called snackdiv.
Well, you do that.
You lay out your snacks on like a napkin.
I like that.
This is real.
This is not a useless invention.
So you never get your stuff greasy.
What a world we're living in.
Are you happy about that?
No.
You know what else I'm not happy about?
Everywhere I look now in the burbs, it's kids on battery-powered things.
Bicycles, battery-powered bicycles, battery-powered skateboards.
You see way more battery-powered skateboards than actual skateboards.
The idea of someone pushing, you don't really see that anymore.
Or those wheels.
It's just a wheel with the thing on either side.
They're always riding those around, and they're always on their fucking phones.
Riding their electric bikes on their phones.
That's not a childhood.
It's pathetic.
I'm a biker.
Globalist talking points.
I'm getting bombarded with these.
Let's go back now.
Paul Joseph Watson talks about this all the time.
Eat bugs, right?
This is what it started with.
Why eating insects to combat climate change is inevitable.
We want you to eat bugs.
Okay?
That's the first one.
Scroll down.
There's all kinds of delicious ways to fry cockroaches.
I don't think birds like eating bugs.
I don't think they're happy about it.
Every time they get near bread, they shit their pants with excitement.
Yeah, that's true.
I think it's possible animals are as disgusted by bugs as we are.
They just don't want to die.
That's why I say animals are losers.
Their lives are basically us in prison.
So that's the top one.
And then there's Live in a Pod, which is big.
This pod life involves zero privacy.
Everyone hearing is shit.
And they're not that cheap.
And you're just, it looks like a very beautiful Auschwitz.
Doesn't it?
The great Auschwitz.
Yeah.
It's like if Auschwitz did an episode of Home Improvement and they have all the prisoners and they just do a big reveal as the 18-wheeler drives by and all the prisoners are going, oh my God, I love it.
Future of housing is Podshare.
Podshare is a co-living, co-working community across multiple addresses in the city of Los Angeles.
Am I going to get canceled for that joke?
By the way, do you have any idea how canceled Nick Fuentes is?
He's not possibly on a no-fly list.
He's definitely on a no-fly list.
He's tried different airports, different airlines.
He may not fly.
His crime was making a Holocaust joke about Cookie Monster, right?
And then being America first pro-Trump.
He's anti-Zionist.
Who cares?
Why can you not fly in a plane if you don't believe Israel should be supported?
How weak of a society have we become?
How tyrannical have we become where someone's views affect their transportation?
And I think he's Debanked.
I don't think he can use a bank because of his ideas.
So, we want to live in a world where every single person on the plane has the same views about World War II and the Holocaust.
Now, I'm a Zionist.
I know the Holocaust happened.
I believe they were gassed, all of that normal stuff.
But I don't care what the guy next to me thinks.
The guy next to me could hate me.
Couldn't care less.
It's eerie what they've done to his life.
I mean, I know that was brief, but we really want to get to.
I know people really want to get to that.
This is a threat.
This little guy is a threat to America.
He must be stopped.
Now, I understand if all you talk about is like how to arm people, like that not fucking around anymore guy.
Okay, talk about black privilege.
That guy said, we're going to arm ourselves.
He marched all over the place with a heavily armed militia.
And then people associated with him were just arrested in Massachusetts, running from the police into the woods.
So if you were to ban him, I'm still against it, by the way, but at least I understand.
I'm not saying I would have killed him, but I understand.
Because there's a rationale there.
This guy's a threat to the safety of this country.
He talks about arming people.
He has walked around the streets with guns.
We're all going to die unless we...
Again, that's his right.
That's within the Constitution.
But if he were to be censored, at least I get the logic.
With Fuentes, there's no logic.
He doesn't call for a revolution.
He doesn't say we should fight in the streets.
Yet he's banned.
Now, in my case, I said we should fight Antifa in the streets, and they just cut out the Antifa part and made it look like I wanted to beat up random individuals for no reason.
So everything they say about white privilege is true about everyone but white people.
The title for this is A Time for Modern Warfare in parentheses, A Call of Duty.
So that's a way around...
You know people make threats and they're like in Minecraft to separate themselves from any incrimination.
It's not about the game, Ryan.
No, I know it's to separate yourself from incrimination.
You're like, go kill yourself in Minecraft.
So technically, I didn't tell you to kill yourself.
No, but he's.
You think that Call of Duty, he's referencing the video games?
No, it's a way to get away with saying a time for modern warfare because Call of Duty Modern Warfare.
So in parentheses, that's the title there.
Oh, I see.
So he's going to pretend he just meant the video game.
Yeah, a Call of Duty.
Don't have kids is another big globalist talking point, 2-4.
Because it's bad for climate change.
So basically, strip yourself of your rights.
Strip yourself of property.
Strip yourself of family.
Strip yourself of independence.
Make sure you're just living off of someone else.
When you're renting, you live off someone else.
Don't have kids, says AOC.
The only good news about all this bullshit propaganda is they end up being victims of it themselves.
AOC won't have kids.
You can click on the video now.
Now.
Our planet is going to make disaster if we don't turn this ship around.
And so it's basically like there's scientific consensus that the lives of children are going to be very difficult.
And it does lead, I think, young people to have a legitimate question.
You know, should is it okay to still have children?
And I mean, not just financially, because people are graduating with $20,000, $30,000, $100,000 worth of student loan cap.
And so they can't even afford to have kids in the house.
Just made a bunch of sweet potato fries and shoveled them into the garbage.
What do we do?
And even if you don't have kids, there are still children here in the world.
And we have a moral obligation to them to leave a better world for them.
And this idea that if we just, you know, I've been working on this for X amount of years.
Jump your thing.
It's like not good enough.
Like, we need a universal sense of urgency.
And people are trying to introduce watered down proposals that are frankly going to kill us.
Oh, shut up.
A lack of urgency is going on.
My God.
Live in the pod and eat bugs.
I will not eat pods.
And live in a bug.
I will not live in a bug.
And then people are so eager to be led that when they get told not to have kids, not to have a family, not to have a community, not to grow, not to have a legacy.
I mean, to live alone and not have kids and not do anything, you're a nothing.
You don't exist.
When you die, you're ashes and you haven't contributed to the world.
To have a family is to be immortal.
It's true freedom.
And I say that to my childless friends and they think I'm jealous.
That's why Bill Schultz and I are no longer friends.
He goes, Gavin always wants people to get married because he is stuck in a marriage and he's become famous very recently and he wishes he could get more pussy.
I'm like, no, dude.
I'm good for pussy and I'm trying to help you.
I want you to feel generally fulfilled.
Like they say, people who have kids aren't happy and they have all these studies, but they don't understand that your definition of happiness totally changes.
Like you might as well say most MLB players are disappointed in their performance.
Yeah.
I bet Jacob deGrom is mad at himself for the Brewers game the other day.
He's the greatest pitcher in the history of baseball.
But because his standards of joy are so high now that you could technically say he's miserable.
He considers himself a failure.
Well, yeah, most parents go, I could be doing a way better job.
I'm really worried about it.
That's because you become almost a perfectionist.
You develop these higher standards.
If your kids aren't constantly running around, laughing, getting good grades, feeling safe, creating art, not looking at a screen, you're like, I'm failing.
Is that misery?
No.
It's higher standards.
Anyway, when you have higher standards, when you have community, you have independence.
And that's what the globalists hate More than anything, independence.
That's why they want to cancel Independence Day.
Falls to her death from Second Story after telling friends she was lonely and wanted to start a family.
Yeah.
You know what?
Kumia sent me a.
Every time I say Kumia, I think of my daughter who, when she was young, she couldn't say Cookie Monster, so she called him Queena.
But listen to this post.
It's got a bunch of syringes, fertility drugs at the top of it.
Two rounds of IVS, over 50 injections, 30 appointments, two surgeries.
I'm upset that I wasn't taught the importance of freezing eggs before 30.
I'm also upset it costs so much because even if I wanted to freeze my eggs in my 20s, I didn't have the $20,000 it costs to do it.
All of this makes me feel inadequate.
That's so fucking funny.
So true.
I'm a woman.
I'm supposed to carry a child.
Why is it so difficult for me?
Why do I even want to bring a child into this world?
I hate that fucking argument.
That's what AOC was just saying.
It's quality, not quantity.
It's even stupid with rescue dogs.
Why'd you get a breeder dog when there's rescue dogs that need help?
Because the rescue dog machine is infinite.
We're talking about rats here.
It's not like if more people adopt dogs, the problem's done.
In fact, you're facilitating more rescue dogs by adopting them.
Should you rescue rats?
Should you rescue mice?
Should you rescue bugs?
What about an injured seagull?
How is it different?
Mother Nature's hella pissed.
I'm going to adopt all the kids in the world who need adopted.
Also, I'm going to, you know what?
I want to help out.
I'm going to go to the beach.
I'm going to wash two grains of sand, and then I'm going to leave and say, I helped clean up the beach today.
Yeah, I guess mathematically you did help, but it's statistically irrelevant.
Statistically irrelevant.
Statistically irrelevant.
You turn around and walk away.
Part of me wants to see what a different version of myself would be, but with more opportunities and supportive parents, a do-over of my life.
Yeah, that's just one of the amazing things about having kids.
Just one.
Having the cutest, funniest person in the world in the house is pretty good too.
Like my wife slept in last week and my youngest boy wanted breakfast and he goes, hey, I'm hungry.
She's like, oh yeah.
And he goes, you're sleeping on the job.
That's great.
But a part of me really loves sleeping and watching TV with no distractions.
Yeah.
That's a good reason to die alone.
Netflix.
Anyway, shout out to all the women who have gone through this.
It's fucking intense and emotional.
Women should be paid just to be alive.
Shut the fuck up.
Sometimes the complaints will be false.
You do get that.
You are paid to be alive when you're a housewife.
That's how happy we are to have you.
Like this idea that a woman in a house is a slave.
No, the woman in the home is the queen.
We're the worker ants.
We're like the monsters in tomorrow war, where if you get near the female, we start going nuts.
Happy?
You know what they mean when they say happy wife, happy life?
That's like ants saying happy queen, happy anthill, or whatever you, ant colony.
Happy queen, happy colony.
You're revered.
No one says, get me a fucking sandwich, bitch.
That's a feminist myth.
You go, wow, a sandwich is delicious.
Thank you.
Look at that beautiful, beautiful bird.
If she makes the shittiest meal on earth, you know what you say?
Nothing.
If she makes a great meal, you go, this is amazing.
I want to be a woman.
So 24, after 24, not only should you permanently make yourself infertile, is that the right word?
Unable to come properly, you should celebrate it.
So let's have vasectomy parties.
This is disturbing to me.
Hey, I'm no longer a viable, and it's at fatherly.com.
I remember meeting these guys when they started this site, by the way.
I wrote for them, I believe.
And now they're celebrating not fathers at fatherly.com.
That's not how it goes, guys.
So you can get some underwear that says you're shooting blanks.
Yeah, that's something to be proud of.
What else should you be proud of?
100% juice, no seeds.
Hi, I have no seeds.
If my life needs a reboot, something happens to my wife, I'm a widower, I fall in love again, she wants to have a kid.
Nope.
And you know what disturbs me, by the way?
When I was 20, I went to my college, my university nurse's doctor's office, and I said, I want to get my tubes tied.
The world's overpopulated.
I believed this shit.
And thank God it wasn't a PC clown world where I could sue him because he just went, what?
No, we're not doing that.
Jesus Christ, shut up.
I didn't have it done.
But three beautiful kids wouldn't have existed if anyone listened to me when I was 20 years old.
Now, 20-year-olds are in the White House.
AOC has the IQ of a fucking 16-year-old, and she's in there.
But I brought up all these globalist talking points because I saw on Daily Mail today this disturbing article that's sort of portrayed in a comical way with the graphic.
This is 2.5.
But it's disturbing.
Castration could help men to live longer.
Removing the testes of male sheep lets them live up to 60% longer by delaying the aging of DNA.
And the same principles could apply to humans too, study claims.
Isn't that fun?
The sheep part is so.
You want to be the best possible sheep you can be?
Let us castrate you.
Scroll down.
Oh, would you make that trade-off?
Male sheep who have been castrated might live as much as 60% longer than their intact counterparts.
I remember Gawker.com had an article about a guy who cut his balls and his dick off.
There's a name for it, I forget, and they showed a picture of it.
So he just has a little butthole.
He didn't have a pussy made, he just cut everything off.
He said his dick hurt.
So now he has an asshole for Pooh and an asshole for pee.
By the way, you know what I just remembered in that gay thing?
Nullo.
Is that it?
Yeah, that's it.
That's the article.
Ah, let's look at the picture.
Warning if you're eating.
Oh, Jesus.
Oh, you're going to see it.
Warning if you're eating.
Warning if you're eating.
Here we go.
I'm clicking.
Click away.
I'm clicking.
Click it up.
I'm clicking.
Oh, it's not doing it.
It's a little click, yeah.
It's a little T-click.
I could look up Nullo.
I'm clicking, bud.
All right.
We'll have to search that on our own.
Jeez.
That's what we look forward to when we Google search this, huh?
I just remembered that in the gay male choir, I thought I put this in the notes.
What is it?
Was it 13?
Maybe not.
One of them did a musical about that thing, I forget it's called, like Ali Baba or Baba Buli or Baba Booi.
And it's the Arabic practice of, scroll down, fucking young boys.
Yeah, that's it.
Bachabazi.
Go down.
Oh, wow.
One guy even made a musical about Bachabazi, the Afghan art of fucking boys.
They call it the boy who danced on air.
A new musical explores the clandestine world of Bachabazi in Afghanistan.
And he's singing, we're coming for your children.
Yuck.
He made, talk about non-white privilege, non-straight privilege.
He made a musical about fucking boys.
Oh my God, look.
It's the main singer.
Isn't that the main guy?
On the left, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, it sure does look like him.
So he's singing about what are you so afraid of?
We don't want to fuck kids.
And then he played a kid who was fucked by a gay or whatever they are over there.
Wow.
This is too much stuff to know.
Like the burden of knowing the truth stinks.
Like my grandparents have no idea what they vote for when they vote Democrat.
And to try to start informing them on the sinister demonic things going on in the world.
Well, that's why you have an idea.
A red pill or a blue pill.
Some people would be much happier not knowing all this shit.
By the way, speaking of yesterday's news, go to 3.8.
I found that tweet from Ezra where he is.
They know who's vandalizing the churches.
It's middle-class white people who are in Antifa.
But yeah, Amy Siskin, let's make Proud Boys a terrorist organization.
This is who it is.
Look at them.
Go big on it.
You can just...
It's funny how you can tell by the way a woman moves what class she is.
You know what I mean?
Like, this is not trailer trash.
Oh, yeah.
This is middle class, upper middle class.
I can't explain why.
There's a...
The intention behind her paces and her steps, the way she puts things down.
You can also tell they're kind of Marxist.
I don't know, the knees closer together, sort of timid.
Like they've never been in conflicts.
Someone from the hood would have more of a strong gait because she's learned to comport herself in such a way where she's not a victim.
These girls can afford to maintain their victim walk because they've never been in any kind of confrontation.
Yeah, there's a grace in everything they do.
They can still walk like, you know, toddlers because they essentially live the life of toddlers.
They're just veal.
Just human veal.
They've never been a box.
A veal box.
I couldn't find my son the other day.
I was like, do you know where Jay is?
And my wife goes, he's in his veal box.
And then I find him in the living room.
He's in a cardboard box.
And he's set it up with a pillow and a blanket and stuff and his stuffy.
And he's on his iPad inside of a cardboard box, his veal box.
All right, I think we're ready for the mailbag.
You know, when I fire you, you should do a lawsuit about all the abuse that you went through.
Worksuits are for pussies.
Because even just that theme song, if that ever ended up in a courtroom, the jury would just go.
And then if you cried in the courtroom.
I'd be the most boring ex-employee ever.
I'd be like, you know, it was fantastic working for him.
You did so much for me, you know, behind the scenes.
You really helped my life.
And I couldn't imagine not crossing paths with that.
Kind of like an angel.
I'd also drag it out for thousands of years because I could afford to.
Oh, the litigation?
Yeah, it would be very difficult to litigate.
I just told you I wouldn't litigate.
I'd do a podcast and just be very grateful for the time spent.
All right, so, Ryan, I've been trying to go through all of this shit, and there's just so much good stuff.
Remember, you have to go through it all and look for all the contests.
I'll allow you to only search subject contests because I did tell them to do that, and if they're too stupid to do it, they can be punished.
I can do a lot of digging.
Dig for a time.
Remember, we need your folders.
So this is not, I'm not starting with the newest one.
The newest one is from like an hour ago.
I'm starting with Orson Welles' Paul Masson wine update, which is way down from when I was looking at them this morning.
This is from three months ago.
My apologies if you already covered it.
There's confirmation.
Very difficult confirmation.
There's confirmation from the production manager, FirstAD, of the commercials that Wells was on sleeping pills.
I don't believe that.
I think that's the excuse to use.
And attempted to say he doesn't do anything, asking if the other actor is supposed to start the scene.
I was also surprised to find out after a few hours of sleep, Wells woke up and did a professional job, and the commercial ended up fine.
Yeah, that's called sleeping it off.
You're not going to tell me a guy's doing a wine commercial and he appears wasted and it was not booze?
I like to cast a party the way I cast a play with very special people, and the champagne must be equally special.
Parma Son, premium California champagne.
An impeccable taste.
Parma San wines taste so good because they're made with such care.
Old Palma San himself said it nearly a century ago.
We will sell no wine before its time.
I always make fun of actors, but he's pretty darn good.
Ah, so there's the original.
I never knew he nailed it.
Just do anything?
No, it's a sorry cut.
Wait, again?
Action awesome, please.
Just do anything?
No, it's a sorry cut.
Oh, I can believe it.
This is like that thing we had last week where you can hear the same thing and it can be ten different versions.
Champagne has always been celebrated for its excellence.
Champagne by Paul Masson.
Inspired.
Okay, now, Ryan, I'm going way deep down into yesterday, which is literally 100 emails ago.
We've got to figure this out, man.
Maybe, you know what we could do?
I have to take some time off in August.
Maybe we'll record a bunch of...
Here's what we should do for the summer vacation.
We'll do a bunch of sit-downs in the different studios, and then we'll also run a bunch of mailbag apps.
Because I just, I'm not comfortable with having zero content up there like Crowder and Camille.
I'm not confident enough that I, if I had a restaurant, I wouldn't close it for a week because I don't want you to fall out of the habit of coming here.
I'm too insecure.
I also have some good news I'd like to announce.
We will be rewarding Ryan $5,000 bonus.
Whoa.
Just because he's having a baby.
That's a great and generous bonus.
That's that.
My God, thank you.
Yeah.
I'm very grateful.
And you're also getting a raise.
I am?
Yeah.
Even though you're blurry right now because you're incompetent.
Well.
I'm going to do a Matthew Santoro cry thing.
Should I cry now?
Is that what people with emotions do that aren't associopaths?
They should cry, right?
And be like, oh my God, thank you.
Like, this should be emotional.
I think even a pussy would need a little more of a speech before.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe you're right.
Okay, so this is under contest backgrounds.
Here's one more I just finished for fake news.
So we're still getting these in.
I don't think we should close the contest quite yet.
Oh, great.
Google Drive sign in.
Oh, I got it.
All right, let's see it.
Okay, some volume would be nice.
Oh, okay.
This is just a background, so no volume.
Yeah, no volume.
Very cool.
We could even put this up and test it out on the old Wallaroo.
Oh, the French.
Oh, the French champagne.
Food with the finest excellence.
You know, you don't really mind flashing and stuff if it's the logo, like InfoWars.
The jury's still out on if this is a distraction or not.
Yeah.
Maybe a good tip is slower motion.
Something.
Slower motion.
Like a little hypnotic.
Here's another one under the topic of bonus background submission, and it's called Roadhouse Rivera.
You'll like this.
This is up your alley as a megalomaniac.
Gotcha.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Okay, you can pull that up.
Oh, shit.
It's my face.
It's your stupid face.
It's my awesome face.
That's so hot and sexy.
With my great chin.
And my hair.
That is not gay, actually.
And my glasses.
Is it a Roadhouse?
Look, I've never seen that movie.
Well, that's not good, Ryan.
You have to have seen Roadhouse, Animal House.
Like, come on.
I've seen Animal House.
With you.
I made you.
We should do another movie thing.
Yeah, we could do that.
Fucking do it right here on the front desk, fuck.
Well, you know what we could do?
We could be sitting at the bar and then it could be like on the tele TriCaster.
We have a monitor in there.
We could watch it on that monitor.
Well, like I could be sitting in Maddie's seat and then you show the movie in real time as opposed to.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like crisp.
Nice and crisp.
Although then you're worried about litigation and stuff.
Very difficult litigation.
Maybe if we flip it, people get away with that.
Yeah.
I think as long as I'm always in the frame, you're okay.
Okay, this is a video someone sent called Absolutely Fucking Brutal.
Actually, let's...
No, I don't want this to be the final video.
This is a guy who caught someone.
He cashed me outside, and it was a guy who beat his sister badly.
So when you beat my sister, you make her cry, I make you cry.
Now, if you're eating or something, turn away.
You're going to be distracted by the monitor next to them.
That's got nothing to do with anything.
That's some loop about the justice system.
I don't know what it is.
But he beats this guy unconscious and then breaks his arms.
Oh!
So let's see if we can handle this.
There's no volume.
Looks like there's a weird word there, Spoljna.
So this must be Russians.
Russians are wicked.
I think he's out.
Right?
The bodily reactions are some sort of like, so then someone comes up and you're going to kill him.
And he goes, I'll kill you if you get in the way.
I've barely begun.
Get the fuck away from me.
Again, guys, if you're going to beat someone, please break some ribs.
Don't do that.
Oh.
Don't do it.
Yeah, you don't want to see this.
Oh, don't do it.
You don't want to see this.
Look at this.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, oh.
This show is terrible.
Oh.
I don't like the show anymore.
Oh, and then he goes, I got to get the other arm.
What the fuck?
Gets his knees behind the elbow.
I don't think I could ever do that.
Oh!
I don't think I could receive her.
Here's a snap, and then he's like, all right, we're done here.
And then another video someone sent in.
What is this girl on?
It's like her brain keeps turning on and off again.
Again, this is Russia.
This subject is, what is she on?
It's from the same guy right before that.
Got it.
And it really is like a light switch in her head.
Maybe she's...
You know what I think it is?
She's on some sort of like meth, and she's been up for six days.
So her body is just trying to put her to sleep, but she has to talk to a cop.
She's got holes in her knees because she's obviously fell forward a bunch of times.
Oh, he's having her do a driving test.
Like to see if you're drunk.
This should become a dance.
I've got a little light switch here.
Doop, doop.
Turn it off, turn it on.
Off, on.
Off, on.
Off, on.
Oh, a guy named Mike the Cop sent something in, and he said, can I change your masturbating is gay thing?
It is gay to watch a man fuck some meth head in the pussy.
It's sad and disgusting.
But what if you beat off the porn of you and your wife?
Now you're helping the reaction.
That's better, but no.
Here is a fun thing, though, I just discovered.
You're lying in bed, you can't sleep, and your wife's not around or whatever, or she doesn't want to be woken up.
Think of the shit you're going to do to her next time you guys both have the house to yourselves.
And get real elaborate with the plan.
You know what she likes.
You could take your time.
This can go there.
She doesn't like this, so I'll counteract it with that.
And just come up with a play in your head.
And it's very pleasant to come up with because it's exciting.
It's like planning for a Christmas party or Christmas.
And then I'm going to open my small presents first and then my big present.
It's a fun game.
There's almost no way to like fail, too, because even if it doesn't go according to plan, it's like, all right, she's not going to like not see me anymore.
She's going to be like, all right, nice try.
Try again.
Well, if it's fantasy that's really important to you and she knows you've been working on it in your head, she'll be down.
True.
This one's called Contest Background Submissions.
Sup, boys.
GOML LGBT Final MP4.
I'm clicking on that.
Oh, no, that one we've already done.
Sorry, I don't know how I ended up here.
Oh, he's resending them because he doesn't know that we've already gotten them.
Okay.
Don't even deny that this woman has the sprinkles, he says.
And it is good comedy, but every time someone sends me these, I'm like, yeah, that's just fairly good quality.
It's not the sprinkles.
It's not magic.
So you can pull this up any fucking time you want.
I am not seeing it.
Don't even deny.
We got it yesterday.
It's 6.14 p.m.
Don't even deny.
Maybe you're spelling right.
He's got it, folks.
Play something.
I'm giving up on you.
I hate this guy.
So she sees how popular he is.
You said forever now I drive alone past your street so I can forget the sight of you I'm taking my things and you can suck at night How much trouble she started off kind of brown so evening gents link to background for the final video segment.
I want to suck you with my Crocs on Kieran Is that a boy or a girl?
Oh shit, it's a Dropbox, but you should be able to play it.
Dropbox should give you a preview, yeah.
Oh this one's really cool.
Anytime you want to pull it up is fine with me.
What is it again?
It says contest dash final video background, as I clearly stated.
It is next to the previous email.
It was received yesterday at 5.56 p.m.
So you could just pull that up.
By Kieran.
Kieran, K-I-E-R-A-N, that's the name.
I've given you the time, the subject, the name.
It's next to the previous one.
Contest dash final video.
Get your fucking shit together, Ryan.
We've got Orson Welles in there.
Mr. Sprinkles, Louis C.K. It looks great.
Anyone ever noticed this one's called Ilhan Olmar Sounds Like Christopher Walken.
Hey guys, anyone ever noticed that Ilhan Olmar speaks in a Christopher Walken type cadence?
Especially between the 20, 30 second mark and the attached clip.
I like you more than a friend.
Do you regret these people?
Addressing this are of the ICC.
ICC has been investigating.
I know that some of my colleagues don't lend legitimacy to the ICC, but I tend to think that people around the world who have experienced injustice need to be able to have a place where they can go.
And as a country that found the ICC and supported it, I think that it is really important for us to...
For 10 years, I had this lousy turban on my head.
And no clit.
To be clear, Elhan Omar does not have a clit.
In order for her to sexually satisfy herself, I knew a guy who dated a Muslim who had no clit.
After they fucked, he would lie on his stomach.
She would put her pussy on his tailbone and then push up and slam herself down.
Push up, slam herself down.
In order to get a buzz.
This next one is called, Is This Guy Ancient Chinknees?
I'm not familiar with that word.
Ancient Chinkneys Secret.
And it appears to be someone with actual sprinkles.
Although doing bad interviews is not really rocket science, but.
You could say something to him, and he would listen.
And like, you know, like, you could fucking say whatever you want.
You know, tell me, put in the microphone.
Love you.
We are fighting for you.
Hold on.
Okay, sorry.
Yeah, it's fine.
What do you say right now if you want to?
Like, what would you say to Trump, what would you say?
I would say, we love you.
We're fighting for you.
All right.
We're fighting for you.
Thank you so much.
And if you could give a message to Donald Trump, pretty good.
What's this one?
Okay, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Children dying from COVID in NZ, New Zealand.
I'm making sure I say it very clearly so Ryan can find it.
Dear Gavin, Supreme Daimyo of the Cocksaka dynasty, you probably haven't heard, but in New Zealand we are facing unreasonably high levels of RSV, a respiratory illness that affects mostly the very young.
It has about a 1% fatality rate in infants.
Currently, our hospitals are full of infants on breathing tubes, and my local doctor said she has never seen a flu season this bad.
The reason?
Due to last year's lockdowns, our children were isolated and didn't build up the normal antibodies to fight these things off naturally, so they have been spreading faster than a feminist at college.
Basically, we have sacrificed our adults' livelihoods slash businesses, our children's socialization, and now even their lives in the battle against COVID, an illness that mostly just gives a gentle nudge to people who are not already on death's door.
It's very similar, oh sorry, an illness that mostly just gives a gentle nudge to people already on death's door.
It's very similar to when those morons interfere with the economy.
They create distortions and ripple effects that are often many times worse than the original problem they were trying to solve.
Fucking losers.
Yours sincerely, Blake, please.
P.S. Sorry for the clickbait title.
And then we have these, those vaccines are deadly.
Please use your platform to let other people know.
Hi, Ryan and Gavin.
There's a ton of suppressed info out there that these shots are deadly and whoever takes it could be dead within two to three years.
On Rumble, more can be found by searching for videos by Dr. Tenpenny, Stu Peters, Dr. Judy Mikovitz, etc.
Even famous Provax doctors and scientists are ringing the bell on this.
And every step of the way, these scientists and doctors are being silenced and deplatformed.
Please, I urge all of your listeners, do not get these shots.
Don't get the second shot.
Don't get boosters.
And don't get the flu shot.
I'll be eternally grateful if you read this on air.
I did.
Let's jump now to Photoshops of Ryan.
That'll be a fun way to wind things down.
These are lots of Photoshops of you.
It seems to be done by the Roadhouse guy.
Hey, this is Chris.
Chinger Bell.
Okay.
What the fuck?
What's that?
Oh, that's just me looking younger, I think.
Okay.
That's me looking younger also.
Alright.
That's my sister.
Gross.
Yeah, right?
She's totally hot.
Okay, we get it.
The Noodle House.
That's what he calls my live stream guitar.
It looks like Crowder.
Yeah.
Crowder's an Asian face.
Oh, shit.
That's dope.
That's pretty cool, too.
That is pretty cool, actually.
Hey, Gavin, this is called Maybe a 10 Question Mark Question Mark.
Hey, Gavin, the other guy, just watched your old 25 hottest chicks from a few years ago.
That's already years ago.
Wow.
And happened to come across this chick from a barstool podcast called Shacker Sunday.
Very jewy vibe.
Nose and mouth.
Quality.
Anyway, what do you think?
Let's see her.
It's kind of dark on the monitor.
Yeah, that's a quality seven.
Um, boopy doopa doo, but boobity bap.
All right, I think we're running out of time here.
Let's jump to the final video.
There's one letter that I had printed out separately, so I didn't find it there.
And this might be bullshit.
This guy might be trying to murder me, or this might be one of the greatest discoveries of all time, and the entire medical industry in America Is a lie that's good to get the information out there.
That's what's great about free speech.
You don't have to, they tell you to jump off a cliff.
If they tell you jumping off a cliff can make you fly, you don't have to do it.
But if it is true, it's good that it's out there.
Maybe try it over a body of water and then see if it works.
Anyway, Gavin, it's just a personal email for you with regards to your burn, which is healing up wonderfully.
It's not infected.
Antibiotics helped.
I don't need bandages anymore.
It's all callous.
And you know what's a wonderful blessing about this?
One of my biggest insecurities was I would shake men's hands, blue-collar dudes, and they would feel this little woman's baby's bottom because I haven't done hard labor in a very long time.
Now I'm going to have calluses, at least for a while, and it won't feel like a total pussy handshake.
So this turned out to be a good move.
I'm not going to do this, but it's cool to...
I might ask a doctor about it, actually.
Order a chlorine dioxide kit with the HCI activator option available here.
Order the DMSO here.
They will ship you the stuff fast.
Anyway, here's how it works.
Chlorine dioxide is one of the most powerful antibacterial, antimicrobial substance on the planet.
It's made by combining a drop of sodium chloride, chlorite, and a drop of acid activator.
Hydrogen chloride in this case, HCI.
The same HCI that is in your stomach acid.
Once you combine the two, it is activated and it stays activated for about one to two hours, after which it breaks down to water and NICL.
N-A-C-L, table salt.
After you activate the drops in a clean, dry glass cup, it's interesting that this guy's grammar is perfect.
Implies he's intelligent.
Simply add water to the cup, eight ounces or whatever the amount, and the water will capture the gas that is released.
You'll be able to smell the chlorine when you activate it, and it is stabilized and captured in the water.
For the record, this could be Antifa sending me a bomb where I put it together and my face burns off.
So I'm not saying you should try this at home.
You should look into it, have a professional tell you if this is bullshit or not, but it's worth getting out there.
DMSO is a transporter.
It will transport anything you combine with it deep within your tissue.
Thus, if you add a drop of DMSO to chlorine dioxide, it will drive it deep into your burn-infected area.
It will drive out in the air.
If you ever have a tooth abscess, 10 drops of chlorine dioxide and 10 drops of DMSO in a shot glass, add a bit of water, swish around your mouth.
In 30 seconds, the pain from the abscesses will stop and you will have stopped the root cause, which is the infection.
Since the DMSO makes it so chlorine dioxide is able to penetrate deep in the tissue and kill the infection.
DMSO is powerful stuff.
If you're wearing a blue shirt and drop a drop of DMSO on the shirt, it will take the dye in the shirt and transport it into your tissue.
So be careful.
I've included a detailed instruction guide on how to use this.
A full 21 documentary on it is here.
Brighteon.com and here, theuniversalantidote.com.
By the way, chlorine dioxide is the most verboten substance on the planet.
It is more banned than you and Alex Jones and or anything else.
It is a simple, cheap, effective cure to 97% of the health issues on the planet, and it is the biggest threat to big pharma since it would restore self-reliance in the sphere of health to the world.
That's why I insist on reading that, because that seems to be a theme on this episode.
The war on self-reliance.
Actually, that's a good name for this episode.
The war on independence.
This stuff was demonized by the FDA, CDC, and all the alphabet organizations, yet it is used in all meat packing, sanitizing water bottles before filling them with water, vegetable distribution, etc.
I like you more than a friend, and I wish your kin 100 years of good health.
All right.
Final video.
Look at these fucking mayflies at a gas station.
Holy Sam hell.
Biblical proportions.
Wouldn't you just close your store?
Your gas station that day?
I mean, aren't they going to ruin the inside?
With people coming in?
Look at that.
That's horror movie levels.
They're just mayflies.
I think they live for like a day or an hour or something.
Remember that locust thing like a couple years ago, the Vegas locust invasion?
Yeah, yeah.
That was gross, too.
Cicadas were out in D.C. when I was at that wedding.
How long do mayflies live?
How long do mayflies live?
Question mark.
And the answer is less than five minutes.
What?
The female lives less than five minutes, but the males can live for a whopping two days.
Wow.
And then the final, final video.
I have a great idea for you and your neighbors.
I think it would be a good weekend for you and your neighbors to have a foursome where you trade wives and you see your friend's penis, you see your friend's girlfriend's tits.
You bring your relationship to the edge of the cliff and hope that it doesn't fall off.
And I think the best way to institute a forsom with your other couple friend would be with a Wii game.
So send your best couple friend this commercial.
It's a fun game.
Here you get one, you get one.
There you go.
It's an adult video game.
Here you eat an apple together.
I think this is like the guy and his friend's girlfriend doing that.
Oh, and then the ladies get up to their mischief.
And here's one where you fly together.
And the way that you get through these hoops is he spanks your bum.
Although in the video, he's just tapping her waist.
Did this go any Did anyone use this once ever?
This is the gayest heterosexual sex has ever been.
Ugh.
Gross.
Anyway, that's our show for today.
Introducing the weekend.
Let's have some fun, catch up on some to-do lists, try to stay off our phones, try to spend time with our families and our loved ones, do some home repairs, find out something about your kids.
You know what I've noticed with your kids too is you're like, oh shit, I don't want to go play miniature golf.
I just want to sit at the bar or look at my phone or sit on my ass or watch the game.
And then you start playing with your kid.
And the great thing about parenting is you get out what you put in.
So you put in two hours with your kid and then you guys are closer.
And now it's a more fulfilling relationship.
If you were to only see your kid, and I feel sorry for divorced dads, like every week for an hour, you don't have much to go for and you don't get much out of it.
But if you like watch a movie with your daughter or something and you talk the whole time or you watch, you know, some junky TLC show like 90 Day Fiancé, and now you're closer with your daughter and now it's more fun to spend time with her.
The less time you spend with your kids, the less fun it is to spend time with your kids.
The more time you spend with your kids, the more fun it is to spend time with your kids.
So let's do that this weekend.
Commit to it.
And if you have a bunch of kids, I think it's important to isolate them.
Like even walking the dog with one of them.
What's going on?
Who's your crew at camp?
What music are you listening to these days?
Are you still getting along with Jen?
That's why it's really important to always have dinner with your family together.
All kinds of studies have shown that, especially with young girls, they turn out a lot better when they constantly have that check-in of dinner with the family, no screens sitting there.
I assume that's a given, right?
None of you are allowing screens at the dinner table.
I don't have to say that, right?
Anyway, the globalists, they don't want us to have independence.
They don't want us to have community.
They don't want us to have a legacy.
They want us to be serfs, to be slaves to the global machine.
And we refuse to do that.
So they torment us.
They cancel us.
They ridicule us.
They make up fake rumors about us.
They look at our emails.
They spy on us.
And they threaten our jobs.
And to that we say, get fired.
Get in trouble.
Be brave.
And never stop fighting.
Drop it low, to the float.
Twist on it and blow.
Twist on it, bloat, bloat.
Drop a nipple like a pro.
Suck it flow, suck me no.
Can't say no.
Suck it more.
Drop it low.
Bounce it, bounce it, bounce it.
Yeah, off blow.
For breakfast, dick for lunch.
Dick for dinner.
Dick is all I want.
Dick all I care.
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