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July 7, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
32:39
GOML LIVE #105 - HAPPY CANADA DAY! (Part 1)

Just a bunch of hosers out for a rip, eh?

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Time Text
Oh, Canada, we stand on guard for me.
When I said it's not cool to have retards sing the national anthem.
Yeah.
I was right.
I used to be a much better singer.
Back in the New York days, in the early aughts, we used to go out to do karaoke like minimum once a week.
And I got better.
And even though my wife bought a karaoke machine at the house, and we do it sometimes when we're drunk, sex, I mean, I know it's gone.
Singing's hard.
Let's hear you do that.
Say, God keep our land.
God keep our land and the Canada for free.
And the Canada for free.
I don't know the word, so I did freak it.
What are the words?
Keep Canada free and keep showing us all your video drops on your desktop.
God keep our land glorious and free.
Oh, Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
Okay.
One more time.
God keep our blurry glorious and free.
Glorious.
God, keep us free, glorious and free.
Yeah, God, keep us free.
Fucking glorious and free.
I didn't state it enough.
Like, really, really, really free.
God, keep us like way freer.
Fuck.
Keep us like crazy free.
Have you seen Code?
God, keep our land glorious and free.
God, keep our land glorious.
Glorious and free.
Glory, God, keep our land glorious and free.
Yeah, you're better than me.
Sweet.
Not at anything, but singing and playing shitty guitar that rules.
Go figure.
What else are you better than me at?
Pooping or not pooping.
Controlling when I pee.
So bowel movements.
Yeah.
You're better at bowel movements.
Right.
And I'm good at not being good at things.
You are good at being a loser.
I guess that's true.
So yeah, that's the, today is Canada Day.
Now, it's kind of hard to determine when Canada became independent.
In America, it's crystal clear.
1776, in the middle of a war, they said, July 2nd, they said, We're independent.
And then, like, look at how long the Obama Obamacare site took, how much it cost.
Not in the good old days.
Back in the 1700s, they piled together the Declaration of Independence in like three days.
July 4th.
But with Canada, it was inexorably tied to Britain.
We didn't have an American Revolution.
We just sort of shooed them.
And then there's different dates, right?
There's what?
There's 1867, you could say, 1931, you could say.
I go with 1982 when I was 12.
Because that's when they finally said, all right, the queen is not the boss.
And she goes, I kind of am.
And they go, you're not.
And she goes, I am.
And they went, okay, 1%.
So even now, it's not, it's only 99% independent of the queen.
Queen Elizabeth is the queen of Canada and the Queen of England, but they're separate jobs.
How could she ever do anything?
Like say, I object to that law you guys just passed.
She can't.
So I don't really understand it.
It's all very nebulous.
It's one of those things where it's like, no one cares enough to ever test it.
So it's just a thing.
Like say I said, I'm the president of Ryan and Caroline's marriage.
There was nothing they could do about that.
There's two votes against that.
Right.
Of course, meanwhile, I'm changing names here to protect the innocent.
But if it doesn't mean anything, then yeah, you're king of the world.
I'm the boss of the South Bronx.
Okay, well, there's a lot of criminals who run the South Bronx.
Yeah, I'm not messing with those.
Okay, so it's just in your head?
Yeah.
Okay.
Have fun.
Fill your boots.
Now, there are things you can do.
Like, oh, I don't think I included in this.
Trudeau.
Yeah, there it is.
It's the, oh, I forgot to number the links today, my friend.
The second link there, Trudeau decided, is that the, no, the Newsweek one.
Opening song is the first link.
Trudeau decided that in all our sons command is offensive to daughters.
So now it's some weird, it's like they, them shitty grammar.
Canada passes a bill to make national anthem lyrics gender neutral.
So God keep our land glorious and free.
In all thy sons command.
All of us command.
That's not so bad.
In all of us command?
That's not English.
All of us command.
In all of us command.
What?
Go back to the lyrics.
Look up the lyrics for Canada.
In all of us command?
That makes zero sense.
That's like a Joe Biden sentence.
In all of us command, not the thing.
I don't want to have any American.
So.
No, that's a weird one.
I've never heard where pines and maples grow.
I saw that too when I was looking it up.
And I'm like, pines and maples.
In school, we had to sing this song every day and do the Lord's Prayer.
Thank God.
Don't do that anymore.
I remember in high school, I was such a rebel that I went, I'm actually not doing this anymore because I'm an atheist and I don't want to sit for the Lord's Prayer.
And Canada was PC before PC was big.
So this is like 1984.
And they go, okay, no problem.
And then I sit in a room with these Muslim kids who weren't like normal kids.
Like the guy I started vice with, Sarouche Alva, was a normal Muslim.
He liked punk and you could talk to him.
But these were like Muslims.
So I'm sitting with these kids in headdresses and just waiting for 10 minutes.
And I was like, this is gay and boring.
I'm out of here.
So that didn't work.
So it was originally a French song in the 1800s.
And then they made it English, but it didn't become the official Canadian anthem until 82.
And when did we get our flag, the maple leaf?
Like 69, 70.
I'm as old as Canada.
True Patriot Love.
Yeah.
Oh, Canada.
I don't know why it's O, I guess that's French.
Our home and native land agreed.
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
Now, this pisses me off with sexism where they go, sons are offensive.
I am such a peace-loving hippie that when I hear sons being praised, I think of the mothers who love them and shaped their lives.
Like when you talk about the men who died in the wars, it's not like they came out of a dick.
So when you say this is a tribute to all the men who have died fighting for our country, you mean the women around them who helped them.
Like we're all a team.
When you say God bless America, you mean all the blacks and Jews and gays.
You're talking about all of them.
You don't just mean the white males.
So when you change that, it's insulting to like the sons' mothers.
In all thy sons and their mothers who helped shape them and their sisters and their wives and their daughters.
We got it.
You don't have to stick that in there.
But in all of us's command, that's Down syndrome.
That's special.
Isn't that special?
Anyway, gross.
Anyway, this is a big day for us, Canucks.
The tradition in Ottawa, the capital where I was, where I spent most of my life, we would dress up like imbeciles, lunatics, Canadian flags on our backs, but other dress up like faggots, whatever.
And then we would party in Ottawa, but we were young, right?
You can drink in Ottawa in Quebec at 18.
In Ottawa, you have to be 19.
So we would walk over the bridge to Hull because we were touching Quebec.
And we would go buy booze there, get wasted, and then just carry around booze, I guess?
Yeah, because we couldn't go to bars until we were older.
And they didn't ID you in Quebec.
You could go there when you're fucking 14.
And we would drink, there'd be a massive lineup at every beer store.
So you'd wait in the line, you'd talk, and it was fun, and you'd hang out.
And then in the beer store, as we were, we just get wasted in there too, drinking it up.
One time, Andrew Geddes, him and Blake Jacobs, the guitarist of my band, they were known as the Pirates of Pisspants because they would get so wasted.
They would pee their pants.
They'd also dress up like pirates.
But Geddes one year decided he was going he was going for a sailor boy look.
So he had on little blue shoes with buckles.
He had on a bonnet and then he had on a like a little hat, a little sailor boy hat.
And he had on like a sailor shirt, you know, with the flap on the back, but like little boy blue with like a ribbon, tiny, tiny white short shorts, and the blue navy thing with the little bonnet, little hat.
And he looked like beyond fag.
Beyond fag.
Beyond fag.
Like gays would go, what the fuck is that?
At a pride parade, gays would go, what are you doing?
What are you?
And it was hilarious in our group with our gang, right?
Our multicultural group of lunatic losers.
But then he got separated from the gang.
And now he's dressed as little boy blue, but he doesn't want to be.
So he like takes the hat off and he pulls the socks down to his ankles and tries to make himself look like a cool little sailor boy.
Macho Sailor Boy.
Yeah, Macho Sailor Boy with like bunchy ankle socks.
So when we finally rediscovered him, we laughed our penises off.
Anyway, that's what I remember from Canada Day.
It's very hard to say.
But before we get to Canada Day, we need to get to Tactical Walls.
Oh, we got to get them to build us stuff in this office.
I talked to him that I forgot to get back to him.
Let me write a little note to myself.
This episode is brought to you by Tactical Walls.
That's tacticalwalls.com.
Promo code Gavin for 20% off all orders.
Yes, they ship to Canada.
It is American-made.
It's vet-made.
These guys show you how to show off your guns.
If you're lucky enough to live in a state or a province where you don't have to hide your guns and have them triple locked down, there you go.
Rip them off the wall, just like the Kingsman.
You can have a gun room.
Dana Lash actually had to move for various reasons, but one time she had to move because she had too many guns.
She had a mod, not a mod wall, she had a mod room.
Like you open it up, it's like, I guess she got a lot of free guns.
I miss her.
She was cool.
I never met her in person.
I did her show a lot.
But she was a wonderful, funny individual, just a very happy person, who, of course, is terrorized to the left, by the left as they threaten her children, et cetera, et cetera.
But yeah, mod walls.
They've got emergency shelves, 100 places to store your gun, safe places to store your gun.
But also, if you're not in a gun town, you've got sports walls, all kinds of different walls, all kinds of different mounts, all kinds of different places to put your stuff.
You can have a baseball wall.
You can have a tool shelf.
It's really impressive what they do.
And the fact that they do it in America is kind of the future.
Here's my plan.
We refuse to pay our debts to China.
They go to war with us.
We kill them all.
And then manufacturing has to happen back in America.
Apparently, it works.
You can manufacture in America.
It's possible.
Is that the main guy, Tim, that I talked to?
I don't know.
I've never seen him before.
But I love him.
And I thank him for supporting Censored.tv and Free Speech and Get Off My Lawn and sponsoring this episode.
I'm wondering if I should be promoting Nita Fashions too.
Let's just check my encrypted apps because that's how I talk to people.
Did I mention Nita Fashions last week?
I don't remember last week.
Wait, wait, wait.
I think so.
That was the first and only live show, right?
That I think we did.
Here.
Oh, here.
Yeah, yeah.
yeah i don't know maybe i'll take it off for uh can you how many provinces can you name Oh, my God.
Ontario?
Yes.
Okay.
It's got Toronto and Ottawa in it.
I just talked about Ottawa.
Alberta?
Alberta, sure.
It's got Edmonton in it.
Coldest place in the fucking world.
Saskatchewan?
Yep.
So that's the Midwest, you're sort of doing that.
Then there's like, how many are there?
Alberta's pretty American.
They've got oil there.
They used to have Tar sands like oil that's in sand.
But when oil is expensive enough, then it works to filter it out of the sand.
But they got a bunch of commie politicians who charged so much tax to the oil companies that the whole thing fell out.
And Calgary went from Zurich to Detroit overnight thanks to government interference.
You know, I wasn't confident on any of those.
I just well, that's you've got seven more.
Ten provinces, three territories.
Isn't it like Saint something or like a girl name one or French name, like girl name one?
Like Saint-Marie.
You think of Sault Ste. Marie?
Maybe.
Yeah, that's a town.
That's not a province.
The French province is Quebec.
Then there's a bunch on the east coast.
There's Newfoundland.
Newfoundland.
Okay.
There's Labrador.
No, Newfoundland and Labrador are one.
There's Nova Scotia.
Nova Scotia.
Okay, that's a province?
Yep.
Okay.
British Columbia.
Prince Edward Island.
There's a whole bunch of them on the East Coast.
North America was built from the East to the West.
That's so weird that I knew things I didn't know.
That's weird.
I thought I was just going to guess, and you're going to be like, nope, that's a town or something.
That happened once, but let's see, provinces of Canada.
Did you folks hear what just happened here on the show?
Ryan is impressed with himself for naming provinces.
And then he said, you know, I'm so dumb.
I was worried that I would say a place and you would go, no, that's a city.
Meanwhile, that's exactly what happened.
He named Sault Ste. Marie.
Yeah, that's what I said it happened once.
So you thought something would happen and it happened and you're just blown away.
Well, I'm blown away that it happened only once.
Look at that.
But look at that.
I'm a UConn.
Way to set the Barlow.
You know, my wife went away for a few days and she goes, How was that?
And I go, it went great.
I just did a terrible job.
So it was not stressful at all.
Right.
On Tuesday night, I had my oldest boy order dominoes for the family.
I wasn't even there.
Nice.
He ordered like nine things of pizza and chicken for himself, all this stuff.
And then he let my daughter have like some scraps.
And I was like, sorry, sucks.
Sucks to have dad make the food.
I love the name.
Look, go back to that map.
They gave the Eskimos, the Inuits, a bunch of land recently.
And how much of it is viable?
How much can you farm?
How much can you use?
None of it.
It's called none of it.
No.
Yeah.
Is that a fuck you or what?
Wow.
Wait a minute.
I didn't realize Newfoundland was sitting on top of Quebec.
Oh, you know what it is?
It's the globe is stretched out.
So it actually is kind of east of Quebec, but you're sort of seeing it flattened.
But Newfoundland, New Brunswick, think of them as east, not north.
That's deceiving that map.
But yeah, Yukon, no one's ever heard of.
Northwest Territories, nope.
None of it is literally none of it.
British Columbia, of course, has Vancouver and Victoria.
Vancouver Island is beautiful.
Sunsets, fishing, it's paradise.
Vancouver, unfortunately, could be perfect, but it's become super fucking woke recently.
And junkies everywhere, as bad as San Francisco.
Now, if you go north, it's pretty nice.
It's like Northern California.
What do they got up there?
I forget the name of it.
They save A in British Columbia still.
How's it going, eh?
Yeah, so we're getting out there, eh?
A is like a stereotype.
You don't really hear it anymore, but British Columbia has preserved it.
Alberta is the south of America.
I mean, of Canada.
It's oil, it's cowboys.
They literally have the Calgary Stampede there, like they have bull riding and stuff.
Saskatchewan, no one ever talks about it.
I'm sorry.
I don't mean to disrespect them all.
Fucking freezing cold.
Manitoba, exact same story.
If you meet someone from Winnipeg, take your hat off and go like this.
They are winter veterans.
And then Ontario just goes on for infinity.
If you drive across Canada from Ottawa, three days are that yellow province in Ontario.
Quebec is all frogs, which is, it couldn't be more different.
It's even foreign to people from France.
So it's a funny country because Quebec could not have less in common with any other province.
And then you have all the East Coast guys, Newfoundland and Labrador, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia.
Those are just Scottish Canadians.
Drunks, no industry.
They used to have cod, but the cod disappeared.
So it's very much like Glasgow.
All of those East Coast guys are Glasgow.
Quebec is some weird archaic France.
Ontario is like America Light.
Manitoba is a patch of ice.
Saskatchewan's a patch of ice.
Alberta is Texas.
British Columbia is hippie town.
It's California.
And then none of that northern stuff exists.
Ignore it.
Pay attention to none of it.
And then as far as towns go, there's really just Vancouver, Calgary, not really Regina, not really Winnipeg.
Toronto, not Ottawa.
Montreal, Quebec City, and maybe Halifax.
There's only like five or six cities in Canada of any relevance.
We were going to choose this jam, DOA, covering Randy Bachman's Taking Care of Business.
I play it every Canada Day, and we're playing at this Canada Day.
I gotta hate the term Canada Day.
You know, punks have very strict regimen on what you can wear.
And for some reason, this shirt is acceptable.
So you'd have like cone spikes, a ripped t-shirt, destroyed bondage pants, 14-hole Dr. Martins, but only in Canada could you wear this shirt.
It was a punk uniform.
Possibly because of DOA.
Did you know they invented the word hardcore, like the term?
That's hardcore.
Not like hardcore porn and all that, but like the baby of punk.
pre-minor threat and black flag and all that it's got to be on the spectrum that guy He's been touring a 1980 for 40 years.
Pretty much non-stop.
Randy Bachman is the coach in this video.
Remember Randy Bachman?
He quit the guess who.
He wrote all their hits with Burton Cummings.
These us!
American Woman.
Pull up American Woman.
That's a jam.
First number one hit for a Canadian band.
See, when I was a DJ at my school, CKCU at Carleton University in Ottawa, they made us everything had to be 60% CanCon Canadian content.
So you would have to pile in a bunch of Canadian shit just to be able to play like the Sex Pistols or something.
And it sucked because it was charity.
And bands don't need your government charity.
The sugar cubes came out of Iceland because they're good, not because the Icelandic government made you listen to them.
And I felt it kind of demeaned talented Canadian bands like the guests.
Who?
Oh, yeah, because now it seems like they're just on there as a favor.
It's like affirmative action.
It's affirmative right.
Holy shit, that's Burton Cummings.
Thank God he grew a mustache.
Dude, I saw a guy the other day at a bar because I missed my train.
Normal man like me, probably 65 years old.
He had this insane skin beard that hung down like this.
Skin beard.
Here's his neck, right?
It started here and went like this.
Oh, I don't know, Mike.
It started here and went like this.
This is all skin.
I almost ran over and went.
I want to look that up.
Grow a fucking beard?
What are you doing?
It's like Big Ed all over again.
I can hide your mistakes.
This glare from your new light is pretty bad there, guy.
Yeah, I'm going to see if it needs that light.
Just turn it off.
It's annoying.
It makes us look unprofessional.
What are we, Scary Perry?
God, your outfit is so annoying.
100% better.
So Ryan was wearing a suit, and then I came into the studio and I said, dude, it's Canada Day.
Can we just call it Canned Day or something?
We're going to change the name here.
Canada Day?
No.
I'm just going to call it Canada.
It's the day of Canada.
Canada's birthday.
Dude, it's Canada's birthday.
Canada's birthday.
Wear this shirt.
So I gave him a Montremblanc sweatshirt.
Vintage.
Greatest ski hill on earth.
Better than Whistler.
Bought by some Japanese dudes who made it awesome.
And then a Make Canada Great Again hat, but then he still has on like his slacks and his dress shoes.
And then he puts on this Rebel Media hat.
Like, isn't he just annoying?
I'm just wearing shirts.
great comeback my other shirt was what a cool sweatshirt that is What is it?
I just said.
Oh.
Are you paying attention?
It's the best hill in Canada.
Yeah, it's a hill.
Hey, you guys want to go skiing at a local hill?
What?
You're thinking of toboggins, my friend.
Toboggins are dope.
So what do you do?
Is there anything that you do, like any activities on Canada Day?
Get wasted.
That's it, fuck?
That's it, fuck.
Have you seen the latest Cody Canuck?
He's a fan of the show, and he does stuff.
Like this.
Oh.
Familiar shirt there?
I like it.
I was talking to the wife about, you know, I had some comments about me calling it a chicken burger, that Popeye's fucking chicken burger.
But I'm thinking, okay, the chicken fucking, it's a burger if it's between two fucking buns.
It's a sandwich if it's between two pieces of sliced bread.
We were talking about that fucking TikTok guy who breaks down stupid shit in English, that staged your Johnny guy.
And I wonder what that guy has to say about that fucking shit.
Is it a chicken burger or is it a chicken sandwich?
You fucking tell me.
Take it easy.
Wow, that's a good point.
Right?
Because what's a turkey burger?
What's a veggie burger?
Yeah, it's like a turkey patty sandwich.
Now, the chicken is pretty.
It's not like it's a chicken patty.
Chicken's all over the place.
It's coming out of the sides.
It's hot right now in Canada.
What is?
Certain parts.
Oh, the weather?
Yeah.
I keep forgetting it gets hot up there.
It was just a fucking inferno here.
Yeah, Montreal has the biggest temperature swing out of any city in the world.
It is brick in January.
It's so bad in January that at bars we have to make a rule.
Guys, no talking about the fucking weather, okay?
This is getting tedious.
It's a banned subject.
I know.
It took you 20 minutes to get dressed, and then it took you 20 minutes to get undressed.
And when you get up from your bar, from your chair, it goes flying backwards because it's got a coat and all that shit on it.
I get it.
I'm cold too.
Let's drop it.
And then in the summer, like you have to dress like Jesus Christ on the cross, but with flip-flops on, or it'll burn the bottom of your feet.
All right, should we start the show?
Well, let's do Johnny Apple CBD and then we'll cut out the scam artists.
We've got a lot to do, guys.
We have phone calls coming in.
Kyle Donnegan has finally released his Joe Biden sitcom.
Sexy.
It's July 1st, Canada's birthday.
And then we want to talk about this war on churches going on in Canada with the Indians.
They found out about the kids, the mass grave of kids, and they're pissed.
Justifiably.
I understand both sides.
Don't burn churches, but I get why you're mad.
It's like the storming of the Capitol.
I don't think it was a smart move, but I get it.
I'm not saying I would have killed you, but I understand.
But before we go and say goodbye to the freeloaders, Johnny Apple CBD, wow, what a company.
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All right.
Let's fucking get into this, eh?
So I guess now we have the goodbye to the other people, the people that are getting the free podcast.
We have another hour and a half.
We're going to be taking calls.
You should subscribe to censored.tv.
It's a beer and a half a month, depending on where you live.
In Manhattan, it's a beer a month.
And this show, which is now five days a week, including Anthony Coumia, we got Roger Stone coming up, Laura Loomer, we've got Candace Owens, we've got Cornell West, we've got Milo Yiannopoulos, we've got Jim Goad, we've got fucking, I already said Anthony Cumia, right?
Josh.
Yeah, I'm not saying Josh.
No one's heard of him, dick shit.
Michael Graves of the Misfits, Soph.
Of course, Atheism is Unstoppable, who often surpasses me in hits.
Lotus, Katie Hopkins, Jacob Wall.
God, they wanted it to fail so bad.
Copper Cab, remember when Milo started that rumor we were going under?
Only time you've ever seen censored.tv in the news.
Newsweek does a big thing.
Fucking Jared Holt is excited.
He's already bragging with a little tiny violin.
Fucking loser.
No, I'm not fired, Jared.
You are.
Now, of course, you're a fellow at the Atlantic Institute for Hate and Research Opposition at the lab in DC or whatever the fuck they call it.
Anyway, funny stuff.
We're about to get into it deep, and you're missing out on it because you're a cheapskate.
But in the interim, I would like you to take your cheapness and get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
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