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May 10, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:39:08
S03E107 - WHAT SYSTEMIC RACISM
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Subscriber sent that in.
The band is called Every Time I Die 2014.
That was called Decaying with the Boys.
Fun video.
There's penises in it.
Nudity.
There's a sloth doing cocaine in this video, which I'm sure is not legal.
I want a pet sloth.
Me too.
Are you allowed to have a sloth?
I don't know.
Look at that up.
Look at that up.
We have a lot to cover today.
Lots of news.
Lots of stuff going down.
That's the opening song.
The book of the day is Tiffany Table Manners for Teenagers.
Quite a few states.
I bet Florida's one of them.
They're easy to take care of, right?
You don't have to walk them.
They move like an inch a month.
Just have a sloth hanging around.
Slog.
Yeah, you should know your table manners.
You should know the rules before you break them.
Don't put your elbows on the table.
No TV.
And this isn't in that book because it's all about tablecloths and everything.
But in real life, when you go to a restaurant, don't put your fucking napkin on the plate.
You're turning your meal into a garbage site.
And people just go, no, I help in the waitress.
Oh, really?
Do you help the sanitation people in your community too?
That goes under the plate.
Here's another thing that's been pissing me off, by the way, when I go to a restaurant.
So who had the eggs benedict and the silver dollar pancake?
Like, I got to reorder my food because the guy bringing it isn't the same as the waitress.
So then you have to know everyone's order too.
Oh, the BLT, that's my wife.
Yeah.
No, no, I'm the eggs bandit.
Yeah, yeah.
Fucking learn my order, bitch.
And yeah.
When people put their napkin on their plate, they're turning their plate into a garbage site.
And I always say to people, would you, if you're having a cigarette and you're having fish, would you put the cigarette out on the eye of the fish?
No?
Okay.
You don't do that because that's gross.
That's garbage.
Don't put your fucking napkins there.
Please.
And here's another tip.
Don't tell people how much that infuriates you because then they tease you and they start rubbing their napkin all over the plate to enrage you.
You don't let people know your weaknesses.
They do this.
No, that's not the same.
Okay.
Let's just dive into it, shall we?
Well, let's start with this weekend.
I went to Mystic, Connecticut.
I sent you a separate email for that.
My wife wanted to go to Mystic for Mother's Day.
Okay, whatever.
All weekend I was singing, you know, that song Saturday in the Park.
Saturday.
But I was singing whatever mommy wants, mommy gets feeling like the 4th of July.
It was a very chick weekend.
She watched Mystic Pizza when we got back.
The kids were bored, but I thought it was cool.
I didn't know this.
We did a bunch of tours, talking tours.
And we're on this whaling boat and I go, I would rather do anything than be in a whaling boat for four years.
That's the bridge.
I forget the name of the bridge, but the cement blocks that lift it are exactly the same weight as the bridge.
So you could just pick up the bridge.
It weighs like 200 tons.
Just push it.
It just has to be knocked off balance.
So you could hand crank that bridge just because it's so perfectly balanced.
But yeah, you're on this tiny little boat for four years at a time.
Four years.
That's one of them.
I think that's the only wooden whaling boat in America.
Maybe in the world.
That's where they fucking lived.
No.
Can I stay ashore and just clean people's shit?
I'll express dogs' anal glands.
That's a movie?
Click on that.
How is that a movie?
Oh, no, it's just playing them as slides.
Okay.
That's a fire boat.
That boat was made in Staten Island in 1860, and it fought, it was at World Trade Center on September 11th, putting up the fires.
Wow.
But then the guy explained it to me.
He goes, no, no, no.
We lived in a racist society back then.
And if you were like Polynesian or black or Asian or any race, fucking Irish, Catholic, the future was not looking good for you.
You couldn't get promoted.
But these whaling boats were meritocracies.
So if you were good, you'd go up to captain and captains made serious money.
That's a bird.
You're showing your email.
And then I was like, oh, okay, now I get it.
And they were very diverse, these boats.
But fuck, even then, like, you'd go two months without seeing a whale.
What are you doing all day?
Swabbing the deck?
Okay, it's swabbed.
Move on.
I was going to play this song, Dress Cool by Paul Schaefer and the David Letterman band.
Very talented musicians doesn't mean you can write a good song.
This song sucks balls.
And I guess it's a joke song?
It's going to be in your head all day.
Why am I playing this?
I don't know, on such a busy show?
I don't know why I chose that.
I guess because Ryan was playing It's Raining Men the other day.
Yeah.
Wait, is that Paul Schaefer?
Paul Schaefer wrote that song, yeah.
Oh, he wrote it, but that's not him.
Yes, that is him.
Oh, did it?
That's what.
Oh, okay.
He looked good with hair.
Everyone looks better with hair.
But is that fake hair?
You know what my friend Tim said?
He goes, you know, if you get divorced, you do all right on the dating sites because you have hair.
That's all they care about at our age is hair.
I just killed a fucking fly.
Damn.
Like a sloth.
You know how you do it?
I learned this tree planting.
You sort of suck the air up around it and it gets pulled in and then you snatch it.
Wow.
Yeah, Raining Man was Paul Schaefer.
Let's pull that up.
Ugly little Canadian Jew.
Is he gay?
No, I don't think so.
He does dream of a world where men fall from the sky, though.
I'm going to go out.
I'm going to let myself get absolutely soaking wet.
That means she wants to be come on.
Just about.
Or, yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess so.
Just horny, fat black woman who want cocks.
Have you ever had sex with a woman that fat?
No.
No, not that.
Boy, women dressed great in the 80s, didn't they?
I love colored tights.
That's pretty cool.
The only problem was the short hair, like Pat Benatar was pushing.
And then that reminded me of this video, Bad Girls, that was ruined by a fat bitch.
And girl.
Music sucked back then.
Like, compare this to MIA's Bad Girls.
Boring disco beats.
Toot, toot, beep, beep.
They're just on Coke.
Everyone's standards are low because they're high on cocaine.
And you just have to have a chorus.
Bad girls, and everyone's dancing on the dance floor, having a great time.
I can't understate how much cocaine changed the 80s.
Like the production, you look at places like Tower Records, that was all fueled by cocaine.
All the crazy stories, all the slutting around.
Everyone in this video is high on cocaine.
Everyone in Star Wars was high on cocaine.
It was everywhere.
She's out of her fucking mind right now.
And that's why you don't have a problem with that giant fat cow.
Because you're like, oh, fuck her.
Won't be able to get it up, but.
This song is a non-song.
Why is that tub there?
Speaking of fat cows.
You know, she speaks German, right?
Who does?
Donna Summers?
Really?
Yep.
Did she?
Really well.
Really?
Yeah.
It's amazing.
No, she would say, beeps clapped.
She's not like bullshitting either, where she's like, learned how to say that.
I think she's the one, but she's a super bitch, and you're not allowed to look her in the eyes if you work on a set with her.
That sounds about right.
And she's not black.
Really?
Yeah, I know someone who got fired for saying she was black.
It was a dude, I think a gay guy.
And he's like, yeah, well, you know, as a black person, you know, because he was black.
And they were just talking.
And he's like, yeah, well, black people like us are blah, blah, blah.
And the next day he was like, oh.
Do not look her in the eyes.
Do not call her black.
Okay.
You're a German dude.
Play MIA's Bad Girls, though.
Just briefly.
That's 1.6.
Music's just better.
And with the power of video, you can make a shithole like the Middle East look cool.
Yeah, I'd love to hang out there in 120-degree heat.
Wouldn't that be great?
You know, just cooking by a bunch of cinder blocks.
Check out this fat bitch, though, 1-5.
Very attractive.
I don't know why.
Like, the first time I saw this, I was like, what a fucking tub.
Why is she normalizing obesity?
And then I noticed I had a boner.
How do you feel, Ryan?
So far, so bad.
I mean, she's not ugly.
She's very pretty.
Right.
But I haven't assessed the whole body yet.
Decent feet.
She's way too fat.
Yeah, but you know what that is?
She's hygienic.
Often it's the obesity brings on a poor hygiene that I've...
That's what's unattractive.
But we're also seeing her in a video with white.
Whoa.
Yeah, it looks pretty good.
Those are some thunderous thighs.
She looks so good in high heels, though.
In bed.
All right, I'm getting a little pervy here.
Let's start the show, shall we?
That's enough rock and roll.
We watched the Canelo fight on the weekend.
I fell asleep because I was drinking too much.
But did you know this, Ryan?
I was watching with my daughter.
She's getting into boxing now.
And I had my cheat box, and we had shitty internet and Mystic.
So it kept pausing, and it would pause for like 30 seconds.
And guess what we did during those 30 seconds?
We played your music.
Take it from the top, take it from the top.
It was making my daughter laugh her head off.
Okay, but what about I can't, what was that line you say where you go, can't give you my love if I can't take your word?
Right.
Yeah, taking all the time that I can afford.
And I'm not too sure about your commitment.
And I'm not too sure about...
My daughter was laughing her head off in.
He's Bruno Mars.
Is that good?
No.
She was mocking you.
But he's successful.
Yes, yes, he is successful.
So is Donna Summers.
Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
So is the Michael Scott of China, the loser billionaire.
Correct.
He's very successful.
Oh, man.
I have other songs, okay?
Take it from the top, take it from the top.
My nope yup beats are dopes.
Me, my wife, and my daughter were singing your song all weekend.
That's amazing and funny.
You know, I'll go YouTube live stream, and people will pay me like $20 to play it.
And you can't not play it.
You're a dick if you don't play that song.
So I do it sometimes.
Don't you go on Instagram Live and play to like seven people for three hours?
No, I play to seven people on YouTube now because I have super chats.
So they'll tell me to play things.
What an audience.
Seven people.
What an audience.
See, when you were played in a cafe, it'd only be like seven people there.
But now with the internet, you have access to seven billion.
And so your audience goes up to...
No, it doesn't.
It stays at seven.
It does stay rather low.
But you did do something talented this weekend that we're not making fun of.
You did a...
Should I say that?
Yeah.
Donald Biden.
Just gonna say.
I've been nagging this fucking guy to do faces because it's his only talent.
And it's just like the lagging.
It's months and months with him.
Like, how is that list coming along of black people killed by the cops?
It's coming along along.
Did you work on it in the past?
Not this weekend.
Not this weekend.
No, because I was pretty busy.
Pretty busy.
Not going to lie.
While Ryan digs that up, we'll check out the newspaper today.
A nine was shot with 45 in Times Square.
They shot a toddler.
We got a lot of dead kids on today's show.
Dang.
But yeah, is this the guy?
The suspected Times Square gun was aiming for his brother when he shot three innocent bystanders, and the sibling later dropped the dime on him.
I think that's the bad guy there who's African-American, believe it or not.
And Jesus, the woman who was shot is one of the most attractive shooting victims I've ever seen.
Her name is Wendy Magrinat.
And she was there with her toddler celebrating Mother's Day.
I don't know where her husband is.
I guess he's not around.
I don't know why you dumped her.
Look at that.
Where's dad?
Not being good enough somewhere?
Yeah.
What's going on, dude?
Or maybe he is there?
She said no one would help.
Wait, is that him there with the polo?
Zoom out.
There's a person kissing her, yeah.
But.
Okay, good.
So there is a man in her life.
What a foxasaurus rex.
They shot a kid.
And then this woman was like...
Oh my lord.
This woman was like, yeah, I was screaming for help.
I was bleeding out.
And everyone was just filming me.
What the fuck?
Oh, whoa, a woman dying.
This is going to be huge on my Instagram page.
Oh, look, I got her last breath.
What the fuck is going on with this society?
Get your phone.
I see so many people now, especially African Americans, just walking around with their phone in their hand at all times.
Getting in fights, getting in arguments.
It's becoming an appendage.
Anyway, let's see here.
Oh yeah, police running in to danger.
You see everyone screaming, running away, some filming, and then the cops going right into the danger, grabbing the kid and rushing him out.
Times Square is back, y'all.
I gotta say, that toddler is kind of a badass now.
Yeah.
Didn't cry?
Well, also, when he's in kindergarten, they're gonna be like, I have a tractor.
Oh, yeah?
I was shot in New York City.
Right there.
Bullet went in there.
Came out there.
What were you saying?
You have a fucking tractor?
Was that?
Nothing.
It's stupid.
It's just a, it's like a battery charged John Deere thing, plastic.
Oh.
Yeah.
I'm not going back to New York City.
I'll throw that much, fuck.
There was another badass baby I had here later on.
We'll have to jump ahead here.
Yeah, 4-3.
Today in child badasses.
4-3, Ryan.
How are we doing?
No, that's not it.
Is it?
Oh, yeah, sorry.
Go back there.
That's the Hoolie gang.
See, I'm jumping ahead here.
We're going to get into this later, but Asian attacks are not up.
Attacks are up.
And New York City's on fucking fire.
Scroll down, though.
Yeah, that kid.
He's dead now because of a shootout with the Hoolies.
I never heard of the Hoolies before today.
But still, that kid's kind of a badass, isn't he?
I mean, you can't really be a badass when you're dead.
Well, you're cooler than any other kid.
World War IV.
World War IV.
This is a cool, badass baby.
Oh, yeah.
Three-month-old baby son is a human shield.
So, you know, they'll be in the playground with the other kids, and he'll just be like, yeah, my dad used me as a human shield.
I got fucking shot.
What were you doing?
I'm just playing.
I have a stick.
Stick.
I fucking...
Or did he die?
Oh, yeah, the baby died.
All right, I don't like this joke anymore.
Get back to Donald Biden.
There's the badass baby.
I don't fuck around.
I'd so rather not be a badass, to be honest.
Just with gay toys.
And no.
You know, my dad, if he stuck around, would he have used me as a human shield?
Uh, yes.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Okay, let's see Donald Biden.
That's finally up.
Donald Biden.
This is announcing Ryan's new talent.
Flatten the curve.
We've been doing a full volumes of talent as well.
We've been trying to flatten the curve.
We've been doing a great job.
Giving out 1.000 vaccine.
Not 1.
1.2 million vaccines so far.
And with the new stimulus check, you're going to be able to buy a Gubati, Bugatti, whatever the car.
It doesn't matter what the car.
Listen, you got to put the mask on, man.
You got to flatten the curve.
That's what we got to do.
We got to get together.
Okay?
And it's not about the numbers of the Bugattis, the Gubagatis, Lady Gagi.
I don't know what that was.
I was having a lot of fun with that face.
I had sent, my friend was like, my mom loves Trump.
Can you say happy Mother's Day?
So I did that video and that came out pretty good.
She was a firefighter and a cop.
They said, Roxanne, her name's Roxanne.
You don't have to put on the red light, but when the red and the blue lights were flashing, there you were.
Oh, one of the shows.
Did you do it with that Snapchat face?
Yeah, yeah.
So who else can you do now with that?
Can you do like Bill Burr and other guys, or is it limited?
It's limited.
Fuck.
I know.
That's gay.
It really is gay.
Also in the news, this weekend, Elon Musk was on SNL, and it was terrible.
That show sucks.
So many balls.
Luis E.K. summed it up beautifully.
Just do the sketches.
That's all.
Just make it a sketch show.
The sketches are good because these actors are talented people for the most part.
But so let me just show you two things.
Scroll down here and I'll show you how good it is when they just do a sketch.
This is Pete Davidson's character, Chad.
I don't really get it.
Do you?
No.
He's just like a surfer dummy.
She gets it, yeah.
Who's like, hey, what's up?
Hi.
It's obviously not very challenging to do, but go ahead.
Oh, this is going to lag.
I came as soon as I could.
What's the situation on Mars?
A solar storm, biggest we've ever seen.
It caused significant damage to the colony.
And the lack support systems are down.
Look at our air, sir.
The oxygen is dropping fast.
There's a backup O2 circulator outside the habitat.
One of them just needs to turn it on.
The radiation levels outside are too high.
It would be a suicide mission.
Sir, one of the columnists has volunteered.
He's on Mars now.
So there are still heroes in this world.
Hello, who am I speaking to?
Chad.
How is that funny?
I don't know.
Chad?
I think he's a reoccurring character.
He is.
I don't get it.
He's just like a tuned-out millennial.
Okay.
Okay.
What?
I'm in charge of the whole Mars colonization project.
Oh, congrats.
Chad, I want to make sure you understand that you won't survive this mission.
Okay.
To save your fellow colonists, you'll have to make the ultimate sacrifice.
Sack.
Chad, this is Mitchum with Ground Command.
Make your way to the airlock and begin exit procedures.
Okay.
Anyway, this goes on.
Miley Cyrus is in it.
He dies.
He doesn't care.
Really funny.
You know, Jim Norton has a new guy he does called Doug Bell.
Yes, he does.
And I'm so fucking happy I finally get it because I love Jim Norton.
You get it?
And Chip Chipperson, he's in my presentation I'm working on called Things I Don't Get.
We'll probably do that tomorrow.
But I was like, Anthony's laughing.
Everyone's laughing.
Everyone loves Chip.
And I'm just like, I would hate to do Chip Chipperson's show.
And it's, you know, those drawings that have the dots on them.
And then if you look closely, they say, relax your eyes.
And you see like a penguin on a horse.
I've never seen anything in those.
It drives me nuts.
And my dad, I think I'm too creative, so I see too much.
But my dad is like artless and he's not very creative.
So he just looks at me.
He's like, oh, that's a penguin on a horse.
And I'm like, where?
Where?
He's like, right here, you've got to relax your eyes.
Look through the picture.
What does that mean?
Look through the picture.
So fucking annoying.
And I felt the exact same way about Chip Chipperson.
And then I saw he's got a new guy now, Doug Bell, this washed up comedian who had a show on CMT called Ring My Bell.
And then he had a self-harming episode and has been out of commission since the 90s.
But now he's back and he's trying to get people on his podcast.
There's definitely some OP Hughes in this guy.
There's some, I don't know, Rich Voss, like any comedian that didn't ever really make it.
Takes himself super seriously, thinks what he's saying is interesting, thinks he has fans.
Bellheads.
Bellheads.
Bellheads.
Doug Bell.
Doug Wayne McBell.
Dude, it's kind of arty-ish.
Bell Bell.
Yeah.
I just kind of tonight I just decided to like, I just took a chill pill, man.
I'm like, it's been going so hard.
You know, it's been crazy.
It's just like coming up with ideas and like stuff.
But good news, man.
Tomorrow, now the press office is just starting to roll in.
Like, I got a paid interview tomorrow.
I'm getting paid.
Paid interview.
To be on.
You said the paid interviews are starting to roll in.
Carl to Kelly.
Carl to Kelly in Tampa Radio.
I got like some Buku Tampa stories, man.
I remember years ago, it's funny.
I was doing a show in Tampa, and Warren Sapp was, and someone's like, Warren Sapp is here.
So I'm on stage.
I'm like, I'm like, I hear this, I'm like, forget it.
And I start going, like, Warren is a sap.
I mean, I probably said that like eight times.
Warren is a sap.
But I don't think he might have left already by that point, or he might not have, he might not have been in the showroom, but like at the bar outside, whatever.
Like, I don't know.
But I didn't see him.
But it's like just funny stories like that, like crazy.
I got a bunch of Tampa stories.
So the paid interviews are starting to come in, man.
Called the Callie Tomorrow.
And I just was just get ring my bell back on.
I mean, it's get ring my bell back on.
He wants the show to come back on the air.
That is a real guy.
That was the end of it.
He just abruptly ends up.
Yeah, he always does that.
He always has these great celebrity stories.
I got so many stories.
And then they hear them.
One of them was he was in Miami and Snoop Dogg walked by.
And he looked at me, going, hey, Snoop.
And then Snoop went like that.
So stories like that.
My God.
It's so fucking bad.
I cannot get enough of him.
It's a real guy.
Like, he's probably drawing from some comic who...
Like, there's a lot of comics that do comedy, but they don't comedian.
I don't mean to peel back the curtain, but I did speak with Jim about this person.
It's a person.
Should I say who it's based on?
I don't think so.
But I want to know.
It's not based on a comedian.
It's based on some guy he met who had just survived depression.
Oh.
And yeah.
And giving updates to me.
They made him into a coach.
As if they care.
But yeah, quality humor.
SNL is not quality humor.
Look at this cowboy sketch.
1-8.
This is why SNL blows chunks.
Look at where they look.
It's so fucking awkward.
Can you turn your CCs off, dickweed?
Okay, so that's okay, right?
That's not too awkward.
Look, look, stop.
Look at these guys.
Everyone's looking off into the horizon.
I've never seen any place like that.
No one does that.
And every line you could remember.
We came as soon as we could.
This is the Infuriating.
You can't remember that?
They're all from The Groundlings, which is an improv comedy club.
So just tell them roughly what's going on.
What beats to hit.
And they are the best in the country at making up shit on the spot.
But Lauren Michaels will not let them get one word wrong.
They are retarded, and in some ways, they're geniuses.
Let's see it.
Damn it, the Pearl River gang came through town.
They shot Earl.
I'm fine.
It's just a scratch.
That gang is out of control, and we gotta do something.
What's with his eyes?
Well, he's always holding up in them foothills outside of Santa Fe.
I reckon we go give him a taste of the middle.
Elon's reading his card now.
The black guy's card, because he has to see when he's coming in.
Why aren't you looking at the guys you're talking to?
Oh my God, there goes the genius talking about tunnels.
Tunnels?
LeRon, I thought you was the electric horse guy.
Yeah, isn't that yours plugged in outside?
What?
Just stop, stop, stop.
Why would there be a Tesla back then?
What is an electric horse?
Yeah, he's like the wild.
It's not a joke.
It's not a thing.
A joke is an exaggeration of the truth.
So the tunneling thing sort of makes sense.
But an electric horse?
What the fuck?
Speaking of what the fuck, check out this guy's shirt.
2-1.
He's making a good point about capitalism.
But I don't know who told Chef Andrew Gruhl to wear a nude turtleneck mock, sweater chemise.
What the fuck is that?
We're also vilified on things like Twitter and social sites for being, oh, well, you just need to pay your employees more.
You're a horrible employer.
I mean, I took a ton of that abuse after that tweet.
But the fact of the matter is, is that at what point do we continue to increase the wages and then perhaps have to shut down because we can't afford to do so?
Well, let's find out, shall we?
Dishwashers are making $21 an hour right now.
Are you closing restaurants?
No, they're not.
You aren't.
With millions of low-wage workers now having an option to not return to their shitty job, businesses are being forced to improve their labor contracts.
Several companies in Python.
Aren't these people all the same, these fucking Marxists?
You can just tell that that guy has never run a business, not even a lemonade stand.
You can just tell.
He's Googled it is what he's done.
And no, dishwashers are paid under the table.
They're not getting paid $21 an hour, you fucking boob.
Anyway, I just wanted to bring that up because that guy's shirt was really bothering me.
Big weekend for fighting.
Unfortunately, I missed it.
We had...
I don't like Jake Paul, obviously.
I'm a human male.
But this was pretty cool.
He's having a showdown with Floyd Mayweather, and they're doing the shit talking thing that generates interest in ticket sales.
And then he goes, gotcha hat, and runs away with Floyd's.
Let me call it.
Let's make it happen.
Come on over one night.
Got your hat.
Now his name on Twitter is Gotcha Hat.
Yeah, we did go over this already.
Oh, we did?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whoa, that's embarrassing.
But you know what we didn't go into?
Floyd Mayweather just got hair recently.
He did, did you know that?
Yeah, he was bald, and now he just got hair.
Is it long blonde hair?
It's not, but he just went through that, so maybe that's why the hair thing kind of stings a little more.
Yeah, okay, so now I it's I can be forgiven for oh, I'm showing me.
What the fuck?
Yeah, so um let's see more pics.
So, but but his head is shaved, so he got hair, and he just wants it to be stubble.
I suppose that doesn't make a lot of sense.
Maybe it's that stubble look he's going for.
He's an imbecile.
Yeah, look, look at that.
Now it's hair.
Weird.
Yeah, and the beard, too, wasn't his, or wasn't naturally occurring.
What adorned.
So maybe he knew that and he was like, let me take your hat.
Now that you got hair.
Did we discuss the gotcha tattoo?
Nope.
That's two three.
Gotcha.
Isn't it beautiful?
I mean, he's a fucking boob, but at least he's doing boob well.
Gotcha.
It is great.
Mexicans were brawling 2-5.
Once again, the best fights at these Mexican fights are the Mexicans in the audience kicking the shit out of each other.
I wonder what the fight was about.
What could it possibly be about?
Tamale recipe?
That's stupid.
Yeah.
All I can think of at these things, it must be someone walking by and spilling beer on someone.
Oh, maybe a...
Like, everyone's filming it.
It could be a soccer jersey thing.
Do they have that?
Do they have soccer hooligans in Mexico?
Oh, my God.
Yeah, they love...
Do they care about soccer over there?
I know, but do they have, like, in Britain, you have their firms, right?
And they war.
And they do war?
Right.
Don't answer anything ever.
You don't know anything.
I know they take it super serios.
What's 2-6?
I think after the fight, some dude I've never heard of said, I want to fight you, Canelo.
And Canelo got, oh, that.
Here's the actual fight, the knockout.
Don't you hate his gloves?
Boop.
Boop.
He's out.
Oh, I forgot there was something so gay that night.
This guy, I'll have to mail it to your...
He faked a head injury.
It was so embarrassing.
It was like WWE level bullshit.
Ryan.
Sorry, folks.
I got to send this to Ryan.
I forgot.
Aguilera.
Aguilera.
Not Christine Aguilera, but this guy.
He was just, I just emailed it to you.
He was tie-tie.
He was tired.
So he pretended that a punch to the back of the head, which wasn't a punch to the back of the head, really hurt him.
And he fell down.
And you could tell it was bullshit even before the replay because as he was lying down going, ow, he was also going, panting like he just sprinted around the block.
So you're clearly just exhausted and you're looking for an out.
And so you pretended you got hit in the back of the head.
And we saw, then you see in Slow-Mo, it hits his back first.
Sergio, you hate to say he's faking it.
Look at that.
But what say you after watching that skimming look?
Owl?
Look at this.
This is embarrassing.
Like, this is bad for the sport.
If this starts becoming a thing, it's my least favorite thing about basketball and soccer is the fake injuries.
Look at this.
Now it hurts more?
Is it like getting kicked in the balls where you don't feel it at first?
Look at that.
It doesn't really touch the back of his head.
And you can see, look how long it takes Sanchez to go coverage the back of his head.
What?
What a pussy.
But yeah, go to 2-6.
Canelo's famous for not speaking any English.
And then someone calls him out.
He's like, get the fuck out of here.
Okay, not 2-6, 2-7.
Get the fuck out of here.
Get the fuck out of here.
Wait a minute.
Okay, a lot of people have before nobody.
Who are you fighting?
Who you fight?
Who are you playing?
What should he do?
What?
I was waiting for it.
What should he do, Canelo?
Get the fuck out of here.
Push.
You don't fight anyone.
Get the fuck out of here.
It's like a kid who learned a bad word and doesn't know what it means.
Get the fuck out of here.
This isn't related to anything.
Did I already talk about Mystic?
Yeah.
But then, did we start the show again?
No.
So, Mystic is in this show.
Yes, but now...
Why do I ever ask you anything?
No, yes.
It definitely is yes, but I didn't doubt it until you doubted it.
Well, I went to Mystic this weekend, and I can't tell you if I already talked to you about it.
Let's see this.
Look at this fucking thing in Galloway, Ireland.
They're pushing for people in wheelchairs to get seats.
What?
Click on that picture.
What in the fuck is going on?
What the hell?
I have some news for you, people of Galway.
Wheelchair, the second part of that word has the word chair in it.
They're in a seat.
This is one of the weirdest things I've ever seen.
We need more.
What does she say?
I requested Galway City to introduce a number of these wheelchair accessible seats around Galway.
What are you talking about?
People in wheelchairs need to be able to sit down.
That's the last thing.
That's the only thing they don't need is to be able to sit down.
Maybe this guy could use it.
If there's one thing that's not a problem, it's fucking being able to sit down when you're paralyzed.
Now I'm freaked out about Mystic.
It's in there.
You know why?
Why?
Because the restart happened talking about the manners and the book, and I was right off the boot.
But why did I bring up Mystic so early?
Anyway, sorry.
Bad show.
Bad show.
Antifa, let's do the Antifa intro.
Okay.
Let's just rip through this shit fast.
So they're still destroying Portland, but they've been ramping things up, and now they're pulling guns on people.
2-9.
That's a new one.
Maybe you'll have to scroll down.
So Ted Wheeler is like, this is unacceptable.
Ted, you brought this on yourself.
So now they have people getting out of their cars because Portland residents are sick of this shit.
I talked to them.
They're moving.
They're all moving over the river to Washington.
But now you have people getting out of their car with a gun and then Antifa pointing a gun and they both have a standoff.
By the way, you don't pull out a gun unless you're going to shoot.
You say, calm down, calm down.
You make it clear you have one.
But when you go like this, it's time to shoot.
And what are they doing?
What is the problem now?
Racism in Portland?
You got a video of it?
You're not going to be able to do this, Ryan.
Don't give yourself challenges at all.
I saw a gun thing.
Yeah, there's been plenty of them.
And I don't have confidence you'll get the right one.
If you click on that first tweet, it should come up in the thread.
All right.
See, this is why we're going slow.
You just have to take my word for it.
Sorry, folks.
And we mentioned this already, didn't we?
That Black Hammer is run by Gazzi Koto.
Now, if you recall, Gazzikoto, he's the guy, Aquava, y'all.
That's him.
I think he was booted out of Black Lives Matter for being flamboyantly gay.
So he started his own thing where it's more like psycho, joker, gay, very camp revolutionaries.
And I don't know how much of him is kidding.
It's Charlie Kaufman because I had him on my show, my old show, and we were fighting, and he told me I can't say a cuava, y'all.
And it was, and I was calling him lazy and saying, maybe your problems are not the white man.
You just have to fucking work.
And after the fight, we were off air and he goes, how was that?
Was that good?
If you want this interview to continue, you can't say you're hooked.
No.
Okay, can I push a button that says it?
No.
Okay.
No.
We'll play by your rules.
Look, I can see right through his ears.
Let's start it off.
Do you want to start with a question or can Matt start with a question?
What would you be most?
You can look that up another time.
It's a debate, right?
But look how long this intro is.
He had to have hired them.
What do you mean?
He hired them.
Why?
They're not friends with him.
They don't hang out.
They don't listen to him.
They don't take him seriously.
He's all in Colorado.
I heard you had some not-so-nice things to say about me.
I heard you had some nice things to say about my hammers.
I heard you had some not-so-nice things to say about my hammers.
He's a mental patient.
But this has all been a joke up till now.
He's raised half a million dollars.
So the hustle is working.
That's the clown world we live in.
And for those of you not familiar with him, he's the reason Proud Boy say Uhuru.
There they are.
Uhuru.
And we got it from this video.
Look at 3-4.
Akwaba, y'all.
So I was just chilling outside by the sun because I can do that because I'm black.
And then White Jesus came to me.
White Jesus was like, Gazi.
I said, what, white Jesus?
And he was like, you need to train male Saxons.
I said, why, white Jesus?
He was like, because just like dogs, they need training.
I said, okay, I'll do it.
So now I'm going to show you these well-trained male Saxons, toilet complexion individuals, okay?
Disciples of white Jesus, okay?
Wait, toilet bowl complexion?
But what's the complexion of the stuff that goes in the toilet bowl?
Wait, so he makes a bunch of white people say, you're going to give reparations now or we're going to steal it.
So it's white people saying, if white people have to give reparations, there's Gazi right there.
You're white.
Give him the money now.
He's talking to me saying, he's going to come and get my money to give to Gazzi.
Well, let's cut out the middleman.
You go hand it to him right now.
You know you're white, right?
So go farther ahead.
There's that, she's pathetic.
The lesbians are sad.
They're all like white oppressors, blah, blah, blah.
Because Every freedom that I have and have taken for granted for my entire life has been made possible by wealth that my ancestors stole.
Uhuru!
Good.
Uhuru.
Uhuru.
There it is.
Okay, she's boring, not her.
That was a classic clip.
What's your name is?
Jackson.
What your name is?
I like the other guy, though.
This guy.
Yeah, that guy's the best.
He thinks he's black.
What's your name is again?
Jackson.
Uhuru Jackson.
Uhuru.
What's up, Yohuru?
Yohuru.
Y'all, he's Uhuru.
Uhuru?
Yohuru.
Where you from?
Seattle.
He raised around all nothing but African people, y'all.
So he don't know nothing about being white.
He don't like white people.
Ain't that right?
All white people owe reparations, though.
Absolutely.
Oh, oh, weapo-weapon, though.
Maybe he's right.
He really isn't pretending.
I'll tell you what.
Oh, wow.
He's forced.
He's so black, he's force gum.
All white people owe a white shit.
All white people are owed a box of chocolates.
Right.
That's true.
And what's your name is?
Prince.
Prince.
Uhuru, Prince.
Uhuru.
Now, why are you up for reparations?
Because as a white person, I sit on the pedestal of colonialism and slavery that built not only the wealth of this country, but the whole European world.
Therefore, all white people owe reparations, and we're coming to get it.
Uhuru, you better tell it.
Yeah, we're coming to get it.
Uhuru.
Coming to get it.
Come over.
This guy's something else, too.
Where is he today?
What's your name is?
Jesse.
Jesse.
Jesse.
Yo me reparations.
Correct.
And I want it.
When do I want it?
Now.
When do I want it?
Now.
And you gonna get it for me?
Yes, indeed.
All right.
Why your reparations?
Because every opportunity and amenity I have has been at the expense of my black and brown brothers and sisters around the world.
Everything in this country is soaked, saturated with the blood of slavery, genocide.
Even the times that I've had to scrape for dollars in my life, they still bared the face of the slave master, genocidal maniac.
And I know full well that even the homeless white man on the street corner is going to, he's going to get more head nods and ham sandwiches than the black man across the street.
So every white person, no matter how little you got or think you got, enough, enough, enough.
I just cringed real hard at Seattle.
Seattle.
When did black people in Seattle get the black accent?
Because it wasn't there in the 70s and 80s.
And then all of a sudden, you listen to KEXP in the mornings now, they've blackified it.
And it drives me nuts because I used to love John in the Morning on KEXP.
And now it's some dude, some Somalian who was born and raised in Seattle.
And he's all like, yo, what's up?
Welcome back, KXP.
And he plays like shitty garbage 90s rap because that's what he grew up with.
Yo, that was Trap Call Quest.
Good morning.
Fuck.
All right, that's bringing us to racism.
Let's talk about racism.
Yeah, let's do it.
Let's talk about racism.
Those racist guys.
Let's start out with a positive.
We got to go really start rushing through these, Rygai.
Azealia Banks is my spirit animal.
We'll start with a positive example of black empowerment.
She's fucking based.
I'm really pissed off at all these disgusting bourgeoisie liberal nutbags who think forcing their culture of politically correct, sterilized, identity-obsessed, neutered, tranny paradise all over every American is the way forward.
I'm annoyed at the fact that we're being governed by a bunch of limp dick vegan hackers on LSD and modafinil.
I fucking hate AOC and her Adderall indulgence.
She has single-handedly ruined New York City and totally spearheaded this pussy-ass, militant, liberal, techno-feudalist shit we're dealing with right now.
Fucking stupid, squeaky bitch.
Her and the nappy-headed jihadi bitch, Ilhan Omar, are stupid idealists.
Perfect.
You're on the network.
And yes, Adderall.
That's what is going on with AOC, I'm convinced.
That's why she has the bug eyes.
That's why she talks faster than she thinks.
She's high.
And why is she on Adderall?
Because she's in over her head.
Like, what if you had to teach a class in history starting tomorrow?
You'd stay up all night, you'd do Adderall, you'd study your dick off, and you'd be nervous the whole time someone called your bluff and asked you what the difference between Attila the Hun is and Genghis Khan.
And here we have, this is an interesting moment where Black Lives Matter, a peek behind the Iron Curtain, if you will, where here she is admitting that her magazine is like Mao's little red book.
Just to be clear here, folks, Mao murdered 80 million people.
That number is always underreported.
It's not 40.
It's not 60.
It's 80 million.
More than 10 times Hitler.
He's a bad man.
Talk about genocidal maniacs on the money.
He is a genocidal maniac.
He is the biggest villain in world history.
No one comes close.
Stalin, nope.
Stalin was what, 40?
Hitler, nope.
This is the winner of the mass murder awards.
So never, ever reference him as an inspiring revolutionary.
Unless, of course, you're in Black Lives Matter.
Go back.
What does she say?
I was at the Art Publications table today, and I was speaking to this young person from Arizona who's trying to fight SB 1070.
And he grabbed a book and he said, it's like Mal's Red Book.
And I was like, man, that's what I was thinking.
And it was just really cool to hear him make that connection.
I was at the Art Publications file.
Do you think she'd get mad if you were like, wow, I love your Texas earrings?
Those are really cool.
Also in the racism news, a teacher was fired on a Zoom call for saying this horrible, horrible lie.
George Floyd would still be Alive if he had complied with the police and sidled into their car.
So teachers are getting fired for saying facts now.
Well, you know what?
No, she's wrong because he would be dead of an overdose still.
So actually, she's feeding into the level.
Well, he would have lived if he didn't eat his fentanyl and if he complied with police.
And by the way, no, she's still right because the police don't want you eating drugs.
So complying with police includes not eating fentanyl.
Good point.
Scroll down.
So she's out of a job in Alaska.
Alaska's red as hell.
There's not a lot of jobs in Alaska, I'd imagine.
Wow.
Have they got it there?
They make up.
Black people make up 13% of the population.
So that is a disproportionate number, but it's a fact.
Don't think.
When the cops run up on break.
Junior Man with the son and the military base.
There's a black man and a black son.
And chat and the soldiers on the military base.
And this last, there was one, just a few couple of pages.
By the way, that's enough.
I agree with her.
But what is teaching now?
You just shoot the shit?
Like, this show is more informative than her class.
And I'm not trying to educate anyone.
You just sit there and you just shoot the shit.
Like, we have visual aids, and we're referencing actual studies and showing footage.
She's just sitting there talking like you would on the phone.
That's interesting, right?
There's no presentation of.
That sounded like every phone call I have with my mom.
Right.
And she's right.
She's also right, but that's also not a teaching format.
Yeah, I'm not signing up here to listen to a podcast.
To listen to a fucking podcast.
True.
So, you know what I keep screaming on this show that Asians getting stabbed is not a pattern?
3-8.
Here we have a couple of Asians get knived.
Where is this now?
Is this in Seattle, San Francisco?
So he just comes up, poof, and then stabs her in the arm.
And then this guy, he pulls her down.
That's actually a good move.
That's a good Samaritan right there who pulled her down.
She's down.
Leave her alone.
You got her.
Get her out of the way.
I'm not sure I would sink to do that.
Throw a bleeding old lady to the ground.
For her own good, yeah.
Don't worry, I'm here.
Plop.
So, yeah.
He was reported in Washington Post.
Go to 4-1.
He was reported as white.
Out of here.
What the fuck?
Hey, David Beard.
You're an executive editor at National Geographic.
You're an alum of Washington Post and Boston Globe and AP.
Why did you identify Patrick Thompson as white?
He was a black man.
That guy immediately changed his write-up to not include his job.
Here's what I always find fascinating about these things.
Why did you want him to be white?
I don't think I'll ever crack that.
This burning desire for the perp to be white.
They want it to be true so bad.
In fact, when they see blacks, they say it's fake.
They're actors.
Go to 3.9.
Ah, poop.
Can we search for it?
What are we looking for?
Well, it was a woman saying, I'm not buying all this black on Asian violence.
It seems clear to me that these are paid actors who have been paid to further a racist narrative.
Hey, I got a good news and some bad news.
Oh, I got you an acting gig.
Oh, fun.
You have to stab an old woman with an actual knife.
No, I'm not doing that.
Here's a real one.
Let's look at Leslie Jones, 4-0, running through the streets, bashing people with hammers so hard that her own shoes come off.
Boom.
Fuck you.
Boom.
There's no volume to it?
I don't think so.
Wait, there is.
Look, there goes her shoe.
Oh, because they're saying it's Leslie Jones.
Yes.
So why are those Asians prey?
Because of COVID?
Because of Trump's comments on COVID?
No.
Because she knows that she could probably take them and they're probably not going to fight back.
Yeah.
They're more abundant.
You know, you really do see way more Asians out here than anything.
Or there's like South Manhattan, tons of Asians.
Well, here is one case of a guy, 4-2, who was going, a white guy on a stabbing spree.
Oh, wait.
No.
No, he was wearing a mask to imitate a white man allegedly committing dozens of berkelies throughout L.A. He was arrested by Beverly Hills Police, quickly bailed out.
Now, what I don't get about this is, does he believe that white people Get away with crimes more.
So he's like, he believes that Eddie Murphy sketch, Black Like Me.
Well, yeah, yeah.
He went into the bank thinking they were just going to give him the money.
And when he realized that doesn't happen, he was like, let me steal it.
He said, give me $10,000.
I'm white.
Yeah, just take it.
Go ahead.
Take it.
Here's a video of someone fighting back about this massive crime spree.
Oh, no, that's the we were.
Well, we'll pull up that article.
That's the Hoolies, right?
Yeah.
What was that again?
43.
43.
Yeah.
So you can just scroll.
This is what's really going on in New York.
Rampant fucking crime.
Almost exclusively black on black.
There's plenty of black on Asian, plenty of black on white, just rival gangs.
This is in Bedstey in Bushwick, which is just east of Hipstertown.
In fact, Bedford Avenue goes right into that area.
It's a few blocks away.
So the hipsters might be getting a little crime visit.
I mean, it's definitely spreading up into the burbs.
So it must be all over Williamsburg, Brooklyn, too.
And I bet you're going to see a lot of Hasidim, Hasidim being attacked.
Jews, Orthodox Jews getting attacked.
Why?
Because they're there.
Half of these shootings are turf things where someone was on a Hooli street.
Anyway, go to 4-5.
It's fun to see shop clerks fight back.
Because they have to get the word out that they're not victims.
Why did that end so soon?
Dear people who videotape catastrophes, can you just hold the record a little longer, please?
Holy shit.
That was four major blows to the head.
Here's a great video of a cop.
Oh, what's?
What, you got more?
See, they want to fight until they're dead.
Just go.
You've lost.
No one to fold them.
Hmm.
Check out this video of, you know, we always talk about how cops are in danger and no one gives a shit about them anymore because of some bullshit narrative.
And they always say things like, couldn't you just shot the gun out of his hand?
Or couldn't you have done a warning shot?
This is how fast shit goes down when you're a cop and someone could be shooting you at any given moment.
Suspect.
Wow.
I mean, it's almost like boxing where you have to give me a slow motion replay.
Look at that.
Shut!
Shut!
Did you?
I don't even...
I don't know how you could grab your...
Like, unholster your weapon that quick.
Apparently, I guess the grabs.
I don't know anything about guns, but there's something with the Glock where if you hold the barrel, it can't recoil or something.
I don't know.
Oh, oh, I see.
It can't cycle the bullet.
Because the top part of the gun slides.
So maybe you could stop it from firing another shot.
Oh, my God.
I don't know if that's what he did, though.
I don't know if he had a good enough move on there.
I thought this was a bizarre story, speaking of racism.
And this foster care worker adopts a child who...
Why didn't anyone want this little kid?
Well, she was aged out of the system.
What?
You mean she's an adult?
What does aged out of the system mean?
You mean she grew up?
She's fucking 19.
I moved out of the house when I was 18.
Can I have been adopted?
You were cycled out of the household.
Who adopts an adult?
What a stupid, dumb, feel-good story.
And if you're just scrolling fast enough, you just go, oh, that's nice.
She's got a home.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Stop.
19?
Get a job, bitch.
You could be a mom now.
You don't need to be adopted by some white guilt fucking liberal moron who thinks she's saving the day.
Speaking of women doing saying stupid shit because they love black people so much, look at this picture of a tweet.
I love my sons more than life.
This was replying to Jill Filopovic.
I've been on TV with Jill before.
She's an incredibly attractive feminist who has thrown her life into the toilet.
She spent like five years in Africa working with poor kids and stuff.
So her life's been a complete waste.
She just gets out there and talks about how great abortions are and how you don't have to get married and you shouldn't have a man and you should devote your life to helping starving people in Africa, which is like going to the beach and cleaning a few grains of sand.
She's not good at arguing.
I ate her alive the few times we debated.
It wasn't pretty.
And it's just yet another beautiful young woman who's thrown her life away, flushed her ovaries down the drain, and she's going to regret it forever.
But anyway.
Oh, there we are.
Oh, is this the famous fucking feminist moment?
No.
That's not working.
You look cracked.
She f ⁇ ed phrase, but was it empty?
The latest front in the on men.
Fatherhood is trivialized and single motherhood is put on a pedestal because it's bad for America.
And I used to think women were too stupid to understand this, but let's treat them like grown-ups and say sexism in 2014 is a myth, and we're going to have to get back to what matters, and what matters is fatherhood.
Okay, so you're saying that alimony is totally skewed because men end up paying more of it, although women earn a lot more money now than when the laws and the rules were kind of set in place.
40% of women are breadwinners in America, in American households.
90% of the alimony payments are by men to women.
The numbers don't add up, and women should be able to do the same math that men can do.
I'm trying to make Joe mad, by the way.
I think you're noticed.
Women are 40% of breadwinners in American households because of so many single mothers.
You have a lot of women that were never married in the first place when they have children.
And they choose that lifestyle, and that's child abuse.
They don't have anyone to pay those alimony payments to.
Alimony payments are gender neutral.
Plenty of women pay alimony payments to the moment.
Listen to her stats.
Plenty of women.
That's some hard numbers.
Yeah, there's lots of women paying child support to single dads.
That's a thing.
I don't know why you're smiling so hard.
She made a great point.
No.
Madonna lost $76 million on the guy rising.
Plenty of women.
Madonna, for example.
Did she give the technologies a heads up?
Classic, typical American woman, Madonna, who has like an entourage of black kids she bought in Africa.
You know, that kind of chick.
Look, the alimony concept was invented when it was the known of cooking a spaghetti the whole life.
And then she gets a bench.
She goes, I made spaghetti for you guys my whole life.
And now I don't have the skills.
But now I'm going to talk about that.
Gav.
But go back to that tweet.
I thought it was interesting.
So that's Jill.
So Jill is, this is part of her conversation.
Love my sons more than life, but if I could go back in time, I would never have had children.
It completely takes over your life and focus, and I could have done so many worthwhile things.
I feel like I've reached the last part of my life never having achieved anything.
You notice how much grammar and spelling I had to fix while I was reading that.
And then Senator Fritz McCorkendale says, what achievement would have fulfilled you?
Of course, I asked not to judge.
Women are so scared of confrontation that they have to give everything caveats and bows and frills.
But because I struggle with this set of thoughts myself, I made career-limiting decisions when I decided to have kids.
But would my career have been great without?
Would a great career matter?
To whom?
Me?
My obed?
And I was saying this to the kids on the weekend.
I was like, here's what your grandfather accomplished.
Here's what my father accomplished.
Here's what I've accomplished in my life.
And I go, it's trivial.
It's not even in the same universe as what your mother's done.
Your mother made three perfect humans, three wonderful kids, and they'll go on and they'll have kids.
You want to talk about an impact?
That's millions of people, ostensibly, in the future.
So this is what Mother's Day is all about, is this incredible gift.
And then this stupid bitch, I would have finished law school.
Then I could have joined the Innocence Project and hopefully worked to free the black men that I know today are in prisons in the South for crimes they didn't do.
I have a long list and regrets.
This is what I've been thinking about all week, by the way.
All right, so the narrative is that America's racist, right?
And that's why they go, she's the first American Indian senator or she's the first black woman on the moon and all this kind of shit.
Why do they say that?
Because the given is that there's systemic racism everywhere and this black girl wants to be an astronaut and we're like, you ain't going to the moon, Negra.
Go make a cake, bitch.
You don't belong on no moon.
And she's like, if only I could show them.
Like that intern I had at Vice, who I found a crumpled up post-it note in the intern desk and it said, I would have her take out the garbage and stuff.
Like all interns, I give them shitty jobs and they slowly get more and more responsibility.
Because when I started the company, I had to take out the garbage.
We didn't start day one with a fucking maid.
So I'm showing you that no matter what the job is, it starts with shitty stuff.
Anyway, obvious lesson.
And she wrote, why do they keep giving me these mundane jobs?
Surely 400 years of history has shown them that I'm capable of so much more.
So that's the narrative, right?
Ridiculous concept.
And they also say, like, a black girl who was raised with rich white parents and went to a great school, she's still black.
Because when she walks down the street, people go, get out of here, you black bitch, or whatever.
I'm at the point now where I'm like, no, you're not black.
Because I don't accept that there's systemic racism and America's racist.
So I don't give a shit about the first black woman on the moon.
It's just a person on the moon.
Now, there is ghetto blacks who have, you know, black culture and fried chicken and, you know, Carabin de Parade, whatever, freak Nick, all that stuff.
That's a black person, right?
But Kamala Harris is half Jamaican, half Indian.
Her formative years were spent in Montreal, next to me, in Westmount, which is all Jewish and white.
It's basically the Upper East Side of Montreal.
Is she black?
Like, for example, if you get chicken in the hood from a deli, they serve it with pepper and salt and ketchup.
She doesn't know that.
She knows nothing of black recipes and black music.
She thinks that she was listening to Tupac when she was in college.
He was like 17 at the time.
That's true.
And this goes back to what Ryan was saying.
Ryan, Milo.
He was like, you speak about Mexicans.
You speak a Spanish language.
You speak a European language.
You're not an oppressed minority.
You're a conquistador.
You're white.
You stole Mexico from the Aztecs.
Jews are white.
Indians, they're from the Caucasus Mountains, but they're white people.
Look at Indian Joker face.
He looks like a white guy.
Mexicans, okay, when they're little tiny ones with the little carts and the sombreros and the little blankets, okay, maybe they're Hispanic.
And you know, black people who grew up in a black community and all that, and they have that black experience, okay, they're black, right?
The Aztecs, I'll call Mexican.
But when you're like six foot tall, white-looking dude, like Vincente Fox, the president of Mexico for I think 10 years, how is he a race?
How is he not white?
Is he a Hispanic?
Is that a Hispanic?
So I'm at the point now where I don't believe in most of these minorities.
I don't see them as non-whites.
If you grow up in a white community, you're white.
What's black about you?
What the fuck is black about Kamala Harris?
What is black about Corey Booker?
He fakes a black accent.
It's embarrassing.
Or the dude from Rage Against the Machine.
He says, well, I'm black because I get called the N-word a lot.
First of all, I don't believe you.
Secondly, every time I get examples of this, they go, oh yeah, they call me the N-word.
And then you find out it was when we were eight years old.
Dude, if you had a big mole on the tip of your nose when you're eight, you'd be known as shit nose.
Kids are cruel.
They'll go for anything.
You have a foreskin and all the other kids are circumcised, you're going to be known as foreskin.
That's just the way it is.
So it's not really a good example of the oppression that you suffered for your race.
So I think there's like minorities in this country.
I mean, our Asians, they're not oppressed.
They're the most successful ethnic group here.
They are abused when it comes to their grades.
They get docked when they try to apply to special schools and colleges because they're too good.
So they have to be handicapped.
That's fucked up.
But once you absolve yourself of this myth of systemic racism, the whole world starts looking real different.
And the way people go, like, I'm not white, and you find that they're Colombian or some shit, no, you're white.
There's very few races that could justifiably talk about oppression in this country.
And I think it's just the short little Mexicans.
Maybe.
I don't know what they're complaining about.
They weren't here for any of the bad stuff.
So they just showed up and then said, we're oppressed.
No.
And then there's blacks, lower, middle class, and poor blacks, which is blacks are 14% of the population.
But when you're talking about like, you get rid of all the Kamala Harrises and the rich ones and the ones who grew up with fucking Rage Against Machine Guy, they're like 10% of the population.
So I'm only willing to listen to 10% of the population when they talk about being victims of racism.
And even then, I'm pretty dubious.
But the fact that we let everyone else, Lebanese people jump in and talk about how they're oppressed, or some chick who was giving me shit the other day, North African, no.
Arabs are white.
Jews are white.
Indians are white.
Rich blacks are white.
If you grew up in a white neighborhood, you're white.
Anyway.
So go back.
Oh yeah.
So that woman is saying, I wish I didn't have kids because I want to get all these black men out of jail based on the assumption that black men are being thrown in prison just because of their race.
That's insane.
All right.
Let's do COVID tomorrow and some more pet Biden.
Yeah, let's jump over to the mailbag, shall we?
Hey, Gavin, I'm a woman in my 30s.
I'm entering my 30s soon, so she's 29.
Can you do a brief segment on 30s women's fashion?
I've read that women in their 30s should no longer wear dresses above the knees, leather jackets, etc.
I'm another housewife who listens to your show from California.
Thanks, Alyssa.
All right, well, let's break it down here.
All women should wear heels three times a week.
That goes from the age of 18 to 60?
I think you can wear a skirt above the knee, but not much above the knee.
And the leather jacket is okay in certain things, certain times.
You definitely can't wear knee-high socks or have pigtails.
That's not acceptable.
And the tattoos, I mean, here's the rule for women.
You can have this much tattoo on your body, a small apple amount.
Now, if you want to spread that out to a bunch of little tiny ones all over the place, fine, as long as they cumulatively don't make more than that.
And if you want to have one, okay, but you used up all your tattoo-ness in this.
But when women are splotchy with tattoos, God, it looks bad.
The whole tattoo thing was invented by sailors to show that they're tough, and they've been all over the world, including Polynesia, where they discovered tattoos.
When you do it, you're a tough sailor now.
And your body is a temple.
Don't desecrate it.
That's why you have to have fruity drinks.
Because it's not normal for you to drink the gasoline that we drink, which is bourbon.
You have to trick your body and Trojan horse it with a funny drink.
But maybe I should call my wife.
How about that?
She never answers her fucking phone.
You know, because women don't have pockets, so their phones never...
Hi, Drinky.
That's too bad.
So yeah, I'm not an expert, but you could still be sexy.
You just have to be classy.
You know what I always thought was Weird about Fox News, it was always the exact same kind of dress they all had.
It was that monochromatic, sleeveless, low-cut, not low-cut, but scoop-neck, tight dress that went just above the knees.
Every single woman, no one would ever have like a shawl or like a Vivian Westwood dress or something.
Yeah, look at that.
They're all dressed exactly the same.
Yeah, sorry, I didn't do a very good job of that.
I put, included that letter because I thought I had a bunch of really smart things to say.
But outside of pigtails and knee-high socks, I think anything goes.
Please don't get short hair, though, ladies.
These women, when they become soccer moms, they just give up and they have fucking crocs and flip-flops.
It's so disgusting.
Dipshit and dumb fuck.
I guess I'm probably dip shit and you're probably dumb fuck.
Well, no, the order's usually you then me.
So I'm the second one of the.
So I think you're dip shit.
I'm dumb fuck.
That's what I just said.
In the recent episode, Intoxicated Effort, not only did you fuck up the Miha reference, but at 5830, you tell your story about Ernie Hudson telling a black child he is God.
The Ghostbusters, they are almost destroyed by Gozer for answering no to the question, are you a god?
It's a reference to the movie you asked him to quote, dumbass.
I expect more from this show.
Sir, you're wrong.
Okay?
He is not a Ghostbusters nerd.
He was talking to a little kid, and I can tell that he was not referencing it because I was there.
You see, you fucking millennials talk to Generation X like you're smarter than us.
Turn it up.
Or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.
Hello, I'm doing.
Thanks very much, Ray.
Are you a god?
No, he was not referencing that scene.
You dip shit.
But he does say something in this movie about the god thing.
Yeah, that's not what he was getting at.
He was saying you are a god.
He was trying to inspire the kid and telling him he's a badass.
Here's a good letter.
Dear G-Dog and Ryga, I'm a big fan of the show.
Don't say my name.
I'm a police officer in Nashville, Tennessee.
One thing you might not be aware of in reference to the crime wave going on right now is that juvenile crime has been an epidemic for years.
Okay, here we go.
Hey.
Hey, Ms. Chico.
Yeah, I got a letter from some woman who's she's turning 30 soon, and she wants to know what she can't wear now that she's in her 30s.
She said leather jackets and short skirts are out.
Uh 30s?
Yeah.
30s is the new 20s.
She can wear whatever she wants.
What about like thigh-high socks?
She's turning 30.
Yes.
Absolutely.
Really?
I think so, yeah.
Yeah, like 40s when you start feeling like an idiot.
No pigtails.
Never pigtails.
Oh, past 10.
Okay, so it's basically total and utter freedom, thigh-high boots with stiletto heels, fucking leather jacket, mini skirt.
That's all fine.
Oh, yeah.
You gotta live it up.
30s is when women reach their peak beauty at 33.
Really?
Yeah, that was my most beautiful.
Okay, thank you.
Bye.
Aren't you supposed to be like, no, you're most beautiful as always?
Oh, yeah.
You fucked up.
Yikes.
A blowjob just lost its wings.
Every time you fart around your wife, a blowjob loses its wings.
Oh, that goes through my head at least once a week.
You know what I've been doing?
You put your fingers and your thumb just on that cusp of your anal lips.
Yes, you told everybody that.
Open it up and just...
Correct.
Still stinks.
But it's not going to wake her up.
Right.
Okay, sorry.
One thing you might not be aware of in reference to the crime wave going on right now is that juvenile crime has been an epidemic for years before all of this riot, lax law crap.
The reason is that if you are under 18, you can pretty much commit any crime but murder and get away with it.
I have had many cases where we arrested juveniles for major crimes just for them to be released from Juvie and sent home within 12 hours, and the charges dropped.
For example, we had three juveniles steal a car, steal guns, and go around the city robbing people at gunpoint.
We chased and apprehended all three individuals, one of which was over 18.
We charged them with multiple aggravated robberies, stealing a car, and reckless endangerment.
Once we brought them to juvie slash jail, I found out the next day that the two juveniles were charged only with joyriding, which later was dropped.
And the adult got charged with all the charges.
This is very common with juveniles, and they know this.
On top of this, once they turn 18, all prior convictions are dropped off their record.
The reason is that judges think rehabilitation is more important than incarceration.
This is why juvenile crime is so bad in major cities.
Love the show.
And then he says circles are strokes.
So that goes back to that woman who said, I wish I didn't have babies so I could free black men from jail.
The implication being that they don't belong in there.
You know, with the drug war, many don't belong in there.
But when you hear about someone who's in prison for a marijuana cigarette, that's because that's the only thing they could get them on.
It's like al Capone and tax evasion.
So I'm kind of of two minds about it.
Like a lot of these guys are just bad shitheads, but I don't think people should be in prison for gun charges, and I don't think they should be in prison for drugs.
The drug war should just be abolished, and that will end crime.
I also know of a few guys who got wrapped up in domestics, and it was just their stupidity Dating a crazy bitch.
So, what percentage of people deserve to be there then?
I don't know.
That's a tough, that's a whole show right there.
I have talked to a lot of ex-cons, and they usually tell me that 5% of the prisoners are incompatible with society.
What's your take on releasing all those prisoners?
California gonna release like 20,000 prisoners that were gonna be on death row or something?
Or they're lifers, right?
California releases prisoners.
Yeah.
How about they release Max and John?
That would be nice.
Good point.
Yeah, if it was fair, it'd be nice.
How about all the January 6th riders, including Ethan Nordine, and Joe Biggs, who are in solitary confinement, being kept in the hole like they stabbed another fucking prisoner?
They're being treated like terrorists.
Actually, they treat terrorists better.
Includes 20,000 inmates who are serving life sentences with the possibility of parole.
More than 10,000 inmates convicted of a second serious but non-violent offense under the six three strikes law will be eligible for release.
Well, I do think that we have over-incarceration here.
It's kind of a tricky subject in my brain.
I'm too hungover to solve complicated questions.
Let's just show some funny videos.
I'm going to do a bunch of final videos today.
Check out this cool shark boat submarine jet ski thing.
Isn't that awesome?
I remember dreaming about this when I was a kid.
I wanted it to be invented so badly.
I think I'd even draw it sometimes.
And it was a shark like this.
Wait, is that not being pulled by anything?
Nope.
Oh, wow.
It's a fucking shark machine.
That's amazing.
Yeah, click on his hot hole Instagram feed.
He films what it looks like on the inside.
Yeah, click on that one.
Who unfortunately has dreads?
That's inside the tank?
Yeah, no, the video.
Dumbass.
That's playing really well.
What the fuck?
Oh, there we go.
It goes fast, too.
Dude.
So you rip around, then you dive.
Now, this is in shitty, like, lake water, but if...
Imagining clear water.
Wow.
Then you go ripping up high, you go down low.
What could be more fun?
Wait, he has it open?
Got in the convertible setting.
That's not.
I got the last the hatch laugh face emoji.
Here, now he's got it closed.
What?
What?
Where did you get this?
I want that.
Aren't you the opposite of embarrassed?
Can I have- hey man, sorry to saw your Instagram feed.
Can I have that?
Me, I want, I want, I want.
Can you give me that?
Okay, also in cool news, the navy can fly.
I didn't know this had been invented.
You just rip around.
I assumed he was on some sort of crane.
No, he's just ripping around with his fucking hand jets.
Let me get back over here.
Hey, guys.
He's the green goblin.
How's it going?
Hi, I saw you on the World of Engineering.
You were in that Navy jetpack.
Can I have that?
How do you think this is being filmed?
Oh, yeah.
There's no attachment there, right?
A drone.
Right, a drone.
But is somebody flying this perfectly perfectly to follow you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
It's fucking...
That rules.
Just going around New York City getting shot at.
Yeah, for sure.
I thought this was cool.
Some footage of England from the year 1420.
This was a sword fight between two knights for the Battle of Trafalgar.
Turn it up?
Just an SFW?
Where's my thing at?
Where do you want to?
I'll show you a slate.
I think it's like Northern England.
Here, here's your machete here.
We're going to label this nuts.
See, his adrenaline is going...
No, no, it's fine.
His adrenaline's going so hard that his hands slippy.
His hands are all sweaty.
Oh, now I'm fucked.
Wait, the other guy's holding his hand weird.
I think he's cut.
They're just having a sword fight.
That doesn't happen anymore.
It does in England.
No guns.
Thank God there's no guns allowed.
Yeah.
That's more brutal than guns in many ways.
You see it with the Pakistanis all the time in London.
Full on, like seven people with a sword.
Those punches aren't landing.
I think they're both weak from blood loss.
That was fun.
And here's another cruel video.
56.
I'm sorry, God, but I enjoy watching this.
I don't know why, and I feel really bad about it.
It's a balcony in Malibu where the owner had begged.
He said, this is a six-person maximum on this balcony.
Stop having big parties here, you asshole renter.
It's going to collapse.
And they thought, we want to see the sunset.
Oh, my God.
Isn't that unchristian of me to enjoy?
Is that that Self-hating white thing in my DNA?
If you are just reveling at the glory of God's gravity, no, okay, then yes, it's bad.
I enjoy seeing Malibu puppies almost die.
Then, correct?
That's bad.
Bad.
How do you feel?
Am I alone?
No, you're not alone.
I'm a flawed person, and I think this is fun to look at.
Yeah.
But why do I feel this like hat?
That's not a good thing.
And I often talk in the show about it.
What is it with white people where we hate ourselves and we want each other to suffer?
Here I am doing it.
Right.
Like, I should be going, oh, my fellow white people, they're in trouble.
But I'm going, fucking fall, bitches.
Yeah.
Maybe it's a competitive nature of people.
I'm not happy about it.
And then my last three videos all involve sprinkles.
These are people who are not just funny, but especially funny, magically funny.
And the first is blue-collar sprinkles.
Want to say to the school teacher that said I wouldn't turn out to be any more than a construction worker and alcoholic?
Man, fuck you, those are lucky kids.
And then my favorite guy, he's my new favorite guy, Gay Sprinkles, I call him.
58.
I mean, you can go on his YouTube page and it's all gold.
This one is not the best example.
It's just very weird.
When your ginger fluid friend gets more attention from street guys than you.
Hi, Freckle.
Freckle.
What are you doing?
Messaging this hot guy on Facebook Messenger.
Oh my god, that's that guy from the bar the other night that was talking to you.
He's in the military.
He's gay?
Mm-mm.
He has a girlfriend.
How do all these hot straight guys get interested in you?
That doesn't happen to me.
You're a gay guy.
So are you?
I'm gender fluid.
Nip slip.
What's up?
I don't know.
Is it?
Do these guys know you want to top them?
I top them all.
It's so bizarre, but go to his page.
I remember this guy.
Yeah.
Who isn't the makeup guy?
Yeah.
So go to all his videos.
Look at this.
Look at Eric the entrepreneur.
So fucking weird.
A lot of drama happening with Darlaze and Eric.
Oh, no, that's not what I meant.
Hey, go back.
Where is it now?
The guy in the...
TNC update?
It's the guy in the car wearing way too much makeup.
Fuck.
Where is it now?
I thought...
Are you sure you clicked on Eric the Entrepreneur?
Eric the Emperor.
Yeah.
That's...
No, it...
I finished.
Oh, it's a compilation.
Somebody who likes everybody that done about it.
I finished my opera job.
I finish.
Wait, go, keep going.
There's one where he's covered in makeup.
No, no, it might be in that same compilation.
For so long, I have Otox wore off the salon.
That looks really convincing.
That's the one.
Look at that one.
See you at the salon.
Maybe, or maybe I see you at a new business I'm starting by myself, which is also a salon, but only for skin treatment.
I don't know what they call that, but I'm going to look it up.
Love you guys.
I'm just waking up, just seeing all this mess about Eric and him maybe wanting to leave the salon.
You know, this is something that people go through a lot.
He wants to go start an independent venture.
And I mean, he wouldn't do well at that, but we love him at the salon.
Anyway, he's just fucking awesome, that guy.
Is he a gay guy?
Or does he just play most of those characters really well?
This is him just...
I legit, like, I'm going to be honest with you.
Okay, yeah.
I thought it was just like, because he did the Southern Dad, and it was so good.
Yeah, it's so convincing that you're like, well, you're just a straight dad, but it's funny.
I tried to get my wife to give me crystals.
I said, give me 10 of the chicks, the crystal chicks, and then give me five of just those regular crystals with the steam bun.
She comes home, says, I got you food.
She got me Wendy's, y'all.
What am I supposed to do with a double quarter pounder?
Not even quarter pounder.
That's McDonald's.
What am I supposed to do with a bacon?
Okay, that's...
That's a burger.
Check him out.
He's awesome.
And then finally, just some random teenager doing a perfectly crafted bit.
Hey, Dad, I was just wondering if you wanted to go outside and toss around the...
Hey, Dad, I was just wondering if you wanted to go outside and play some catch.
You got this.
You got this.
Sorry, bit.
Sorry, buddy.
I'm just really busy right now.
I'd love to, buddy.
Sorry, but I'm just really busy right now.
Hey, Danos.
That's awesome.
Wow.
We've got a fun show for you tomorrow.
We're going to put together a list of things I don't get, which includes sewing machines and, of course, Chip Chipperson.
And yeah, I think today's takeaway is Once you come to terms with the fact that systemic racism doesn't exist, the whole facade just starts crumbling.
The whole lie about white people oppressing non-whites and anti-Semitism on the rise and Asians are getting murdered and we have to free all these black men from prison because they were put there by racism.
All of this mountain of bullshit just goes.
And we realize there are some people who can argue that they're oppressed.
At least they have sort of a case.
But it's only this many people.
Way over there.
Maybe like 8% of the population can even have a leg to stand on.
The rest of us are doing fine.
And at least have the opportunity to do fine.
Now, we have a socialist asshole retard for a president who's working hard to destroy the country, but we're not there yet.
And the beauty of freeing yourself from the shackles of oppression is it's all in your head.
You know what's holding you back?
You.
Get up off the couch.
Clear your room.
And start busting your ass because for now at least, this still is an incredible country where if you work hard, you bust your ass every day, you will succeed.
I know you will.
You're smart enough to watch this show, so you must have something going on.
And in the interim, of course, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
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