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May 7, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:07:43

GOML LIVE #97 - FREE SPEECHES

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	collection you can beautifully display in your mudroom with all your stuff uh we'd like to welcome tactical walls they built this wonderful thing that we regularly have a statue of ryan and i as war movie vets which i resent ryan being next to me on because i don't see him as a war movie vet i've seen plenty um but if you go to tacticalwalls.com right now all of my listeners get 20 off their entire order at tacticalwalls.com with promo code gavin go to tacticalwalls.com and
	customize your home defense system with tactical tim and the tactical team and keep your entire family safe tacticalwalls.com promo code gavin and that graphic in the corner is the shelf they made me which i guess i'm giving away what no i don't mean for free i mean as far as the secret goes oh yeah yeah so like when the fbi comes to my my house they go uh we're just gonna slide this over here and
	pushes out like if you know those play-doh sites where uh sets, sorry, where you push down and they grow hair and you can cut their hair.
	Yeah.
	Maybe you just push a squirty like toothpaste.
	It's like squishing a toothpaste tube.
	It would have been a log if you had a normal anal lip scenario in your toilet, but in a colostomy bag, it gets squeezed through.
	Like, what about a sausage maker?
	That's what a colostomy bag is.
	But the sausage is a weapon.
	Make your own colostomy bag sausages.
	Like, go back to that article, please.
	And the secret, I think, to this.
	Make your own sausages, fuck you.
	Nicholas Newhart of Nashville, street name, has been hit with a bunch of charges.
	He's threatening officers.
	Newhart has since been charged with intoxication, blah, blah.
	He's doing it at Kid Rocks Bar in Nashville.
	Security asked him to move, and he refused.
	He then became combative.
	Why do you think he has a colostomy bank?
	I think he was trying to fuck himself with a light bulb and it broke.
	Wow.
	He started swinging it around, attempting to use it as a weapon.
	Wow.
	That is super gross.
	It reminds me of a video I saw recently, an anal sex instruction video, that was very clean and safe for work.
	So I thought I'd share it with you here.
	You relax your anus, right?
	And the penis goes near the analips.
	It waits until there's sort of an invite.
	The anus then expands.
	Penis goes in, right?
	And this is the most important part.
	After the penis goes in, the anus must close and seal the penis inside.
	Yeah.
	Did you know that?
	Yeah, yeah, I've done it like a couple times.
	I saw this movie last night, Without Remorse, with Michael B.J. He's got that nickname because he performed Fallatio so well.
	Actually, I always assumed Michael B. Jordan was gay.
	He lives with his mama.
	Like, you're a fucking gazillionaire and you live with your mama?
	It's my mom's.
	My mommy.
	But he's got some hot girlfriend we had on another show who looks great.
	A very voluptuous, pokritudinous broad.
	But this movie stinks so bad.
	It's amazing.
	It's Tom Clancy's Without Remorse.
	He's smart to stick his name on everything.
	But you can tell it was written about white people, right?
	The CI is trying to start a war with Russia.
	Russia's the new bad guys in action films, which I'm fine with.
	Fuck Russia.
	Good.
	I wish it was China, obviously, but I'll take Russia.
	Middle East would be even better, but fine.
	Russia it is.
	They just have to choose a white guy.
	Like Bob Odenkirk's nobody movie.
	It's those damn Russian mobsters doing home invasions.
	So sick of that.
	Get out of my house, Uster Vortevik.
	So in this movie, the CIA is starting a war by attacking Michael B. Jordan, among others, with Russian agents.
	And then the Americans are attacking random Russian people, trying to start the First World War type of scenario where the dude with the mustache was the catalyst to start a world war.
	Because they need the money.
	But with blacks, it got woke.
	The conversion from Tom Clancy's stupid book that boomers read on the plane to the movie added a whole woke element.
	And you're like, what?
	And there's this really irritating scene where Michael B. Jordan and this short-haired lesbian-looking, I don't know, lieutenant woman, she's sitting there and he says, they kill his wife and kid, of course.
	He goes, we work for a country that hated us because we knew what it could become.
	Thanks.
	Thanks, Michael BJ, for doing us the courtesy of working for a racist, horrible country because you knew it has potential.
	That's literally what they said.
	We worked for this country because we knew what it could become.
	But then he goes, but they crossed the line.
	They brought it to my house.
	And then, so they go to Russia to, like, I don't know, get revenge on the people who killed his wife, which is actually doing exactly what the CIA wanted you to do, so that was stupid.
	But then they're on the lamb in Russia, because they get shot down, as you can just see right there.
	So it's like this military cabal wandering around Russia, right?
	And three of them are, two of them are black.
	Like, they're not going to stick out?
	Now, I'm sure in his book, the guy was white.
	So that's fine.
	That makes sense.
	A white guy disappeared into Russia.
	This is a cool scene.
	He gets in a flaming car and makes him confess.
	And the windows are cracking and stuff.
	I mean, obviously, it's a high-budget action movie.
	There's going to be some cool spots.
	But again, wokeness ruins everything.
	You know that Cindy Lauper song, Money Ruins Everything?
	We should do a wokeness!
	Wokeness ruins everything.
	It ruins everything.
	Money changes everything.
	Money changes everything.
	Why do men watch action movies?
	Because we want to have a dumb fantasy.
	We've been worrying about our families all day.
	We've been trying to make money, fixing problems, putting out fires.
	We come home.
	We just want to see some bad guys get their heads blown off.
	That's what sports used to be, too, but sports is...
	Whoa.
	Can't leave that untouched.
	Gotta inject that.
	Well, I read that the NFL is going to punish people for wearing Black Lives Matter gear.
	Nice.
	Bullshit.
	Oh, really?
	Bullfucking shit.
	Can you imagine some guy getting a fine for wearing a Black Lives Matter shirt?
	Stadiums would burn.
	Oh, my God.
	It would be fucking nuts.
	It would be insane.
	Well, the Olympics, though, it looks like they're going to keep up with that.
	And as I was on a show today, America's Voice.
	Are you familiar with that network?
	It's like the new up-and-comer with Newsmax and One America News.
	Cool.
	And we were both, me and the host were like, who does this benefit?
	No one wants it.
	You're not helping.
	Also in the news.
	Jake Paul versus Meriwether.
	I'm not watching this.
	I don't fucking care.
	He ruined it.
	Sorry.
	This is 2-2.
	Oh, Mayweather.
	Mayweather?
	So they're talking shit, I guess.
	See, Jake Paul comes from jackass culture, and Floyd Mayweather is an old school boxer, so these two worlds should not have met ever.
	But I'm kind of more of the jackass generation.
	So I think this is...
	I hate Jake Paul, but this is funny.
	Got your hat?
	That's like got your hat.
	It's cute.
	He got punched in the face by his security guards.
	And it's even funnier to take it seriously.
	So like, he played the perfect straight man.
	What's going on with his pants?
	Are they chaps?
	They have garbage bags on them?
	Doesn't Jake Paul have like a crew of players too?
	They both got a crew of players, yo.
	Why aren't his players beating up his players?
	I don't give a shit.
	I actually regret showing this on the show.
	I'm worried this might be a bad show.
	I don't know.
	I got a lot done today.
	I'm very tired.
	Not tired, but like I spent a lot of my chi.
	You know, the thing is, a lot of people would probably not seek this sort of shit out on their own.
	So I think this is the most interesting part of this whole thing.
	2-3 is another angle of it.
	I like it.
	I like it.
	There got to be other people.
	And I like it too.
	More head trouble.
	So stupid and embarrassing.
	What a waste of time.
	I'm not watching that because I don't trust Jake Paul.
	I don't know if it will be a real fight.
	I don't think the fights last time with Triller or whatever the fuck they're called.
	I don't believe any of those fights.
	So I won't.
	Even if Jake, if Floyd Wayneweather gets knocked out in the first round and is lying there going, what the fuck happened?
	What a great punch.
	I won't believe it.
	Conversely, if he knocks out Jake Paul in the first round, I won't believe it.
	You guys blew it.
	Holy shit, he changed his name to Gotcha Hat.
	That's pretty funny.
	Hi, I'm Jake Paul, and you're watching Disney Channel.
	That's fucking great.
	But there's a Canelo fight this Saturday that will be a great fight.
	I fought this guy today who was a fly.
	He's a featherweight, and obviously I'm not even remotely close to his league, but he fights old men like me to see if he can go three rounds without getting hit once.
	I think I punched him one time.
	But just like, like, my punches were this slow to him.
	So he would just, he wouldn't just get out of the way.
	He would sort of like do a funny little gesture.
	And that's what Canelo's good at.
	Look at Canelo.
	Look up Canelo fucking slipping.
	He's, I think he might be the best fighter in the world.
	He's magic.
	And I'm mad at him for not speaking English.
	Look, he's a little Irishman who can't speak English.
	He's got to be white, right?
	Some dude I know says, oh, it's because they used the Irish as involuntary soldiers in the Spanish-American War or something.
	And then they stayed there.
	Look at him.
	That's who I was fighting today.
	You know what I mean?
	Look at that.
	Zero connections.
	He's fucking incredible.
	I have a stupid theory.
	Mexicans are great boxers because it's hot there and they never overheat.
	So they train at 110 degrees.
	And for us, when anything gets, you know, above 75, we start freaking the fuck out.
	Let's dive into, we're going to have some calls shortly.
	Oh, shoot.
	We have to do the mid-roll.
	Shout out to Johnny Apple CBD, our oldest sponsor, our most reliable sponsor.
	These guys, when you see a sponsor sticking around us for a long time, know that they are harassed by Antifa and Karens and the DNC and Media Matters and Sleeping Giants and all these lunatic cancel groups.
	And they just say, sorry, not interested.
	They got the gummies to take the edge off.
	They got the tinctures.
	Put that in your coffee.
	They got the topicals.
	It helps sore muscles.
	Calm CB recovery.
	Pod is magic, basically.
	And you can take the THC out of it.
	You can take the illegal shit out of it.
	And it's still amazing.
	Bliss, calm, pure, zen.
	They take pride in their quality.
	They take pride in their quality.
	I mean, Italians are dumb, but Italians in Chicago are particularly thick.
	They take pride in their quality.
	Is that, I mean, I guess that's technically.
	Aren't you embarrassed?
	And they're proud to sponsor our show.
	Please do me a favor and go to jacbd.com and support our proud sponsor, promo code Gavin.
	Gets you 20% off everything at jacbd.com.
	Feel as great as I do, jacbd.com, promo code Gavin.
	Thanks, Johnny Apple.
	We like you more than a friend.
	And thank you for sticking by us since day one.
	All right, we have 10 minutes before we go behind the paywall.
	I've got a fuckton of shit to talk about.
	Racism, of course, is big.
	Let's go on a little, let's squeeze in a little free speech diddly-dong.
	Do we have a free speech bumper?
	I believe we do.
	Let's see.
	Let's see if we do.
	Every time I think of a bumper, I think of like free speech, free speech.
	They're always the same.
	Yeah.
	I'm not very creative.
	Free speech.
	It ain't free.
	I'm the least creative person in the world.
	I thought I just came up with that idea.
	No, you didn't.
	It's been a while.
	Are you serious?
	I did.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	Amazing.
	Well, you're consistent.
	How's that?
	Remember Kale?
	We used to do sports talk.
	Hartman?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	When David Cass was you.
	And I go, yeah, sports graphics.
	And I go, sports talk, sports talk, sports talk, sports talk.
	And I go, that's kind of a funny bumper.
	And he goes, yeah, I guess you like Wayne's World.
	And I go, oh, is it similar to Wayne's World?
	And he goes, it's exactly the same as Wayne's World.
	I presumed that was an homage.
	And I'm like, oh, yeah, I guess it is similar.
	The feminism is cancer one.
	I've been doing this media shit since 1992.
	I was in bands before that in 88.
	So what you're seeing is an old cow being put out to pasture.
	Don't expect original concepts anymore.
	Although I am going to do a green screen of 10 things I don't get.
	Sports talk, sports talk.
	Sports talk, sports talk.
	Yeah.
	Didn't occur to me that's Wayne's World.
	You even say party time.
	Excellent.
	They even have a sidekick.
	You're wearing a hat.
	This is Wayne's World.
	It's blonde hair.
	So let's do, yeah, free speech.
	We got a free speech diddly before we go behind the paywall, then we'll do the usual.
	How did this woman get a job?
	What is she doing in America?
	Why are academics so bad at thought?
	Like, your job as an academic, as a teacher, as an associate professor, is to help people think.
	And you should start with like the, whatever it is, the five logical fallacies, like straw man, argument, ad hominem, guilt by association, all those basics.
	Get those out of the way.
	And then teach them like the whole free speech thing.
	You know, you can't yell fire in a crowded theater, that whole myth.
	All of those basics.
	Just the basics.
	And then you see this woman interrupt Fleckis and this dude.
	By the way, baseball superstar Bryce Harper follows Fleckis.
	Everyone hates Bryce, but I like him.
	He's very conservative.
	He's based.
	Based Harper, they ought to call him.
	True detail.
	Trudette.
	But so this is...
	Michael Knowles is appearing at what university?
	I don't know, some stupid university.
	And Flekis is interviewing the guy who's putting on the Michael Knowles talk, which is illegal.
	Verboten.
	You may not interview the guy doing a free speech thing.
	This is what I don't get about life.
	I'm going to put that on my don't get list.
	Actually, I guess I kind of get it, but people who don't leave people alone.
	Politics is two types of people.
	People who want to be left alone and people who won't leave those people alone.
	Like, if there's a talk going on, if there was a talk about football, I don't like football.
	It's not my cup of tea.
	I respect it.
	I understand that it's innate to the fabric of American society.
	Best of luck to you.
	When it's on and at a bar, I'll check it out, sort of, not really watching it.
	But if there was a huge lecture on the NFL and concussions and the future of the Philadelphia Eagles, I'd just be like, wish you guys nothing but the best.
	I'll be downstairs at the pub.
	Come by after and say hi.
	I'll buy you a shot.
	Like, why would I go, what the fuck?
	This is not cool.
	There's concussions.
	They hit their heads.
	I just, I don't get it.
	It's like Sebastian Maniscalco goes when he says, I go to a restaurant and I just, I sit there and I go, the tuna sucks.
	Let's get the fuck out of here.
	But to come home and then to write a yelp about how bad the restaurant was.
	Ain't nobody got time for that.
	I mean, maybe if it's a plague and it's indicative of something, like you found out they're using rat meat, which my friend Tim told me he came across.
	He was getting Chinese food in Brooklyn about 20 years ago.
	No, maybe 15.
	And as he was eating his meat, I'm going to barf if I tell this story.
	Write it down.
	I'll tell it.
	As he was eating his meat, he came across some ribs, which is fine.
	Bulls have ribs.
	I've never seen somebody scared of what's about to come out of their own mouth.
	The ribs were like this big, like fish-sized.
	But they were ribs.
	They were mammal ribs.
	But they were this.
	I feel bad too.
	Oh, my God.
	My stomach feels bad.
	And so he's eating and he's like, oh, fucking hell.
	You know, Tim, right?
	What are you doing with his crazy Ds?
	And he goes, that's not a fucking cow.
	That's a rat.
	And so he calls the Chinese place and they go, no, no, no, rat.
	He goes, I've got a bone here.
	I've literally got a bone to pick with you.
	And then, so some, now we're getting in the groove of the show, 25 minutes in.
	So some Chinese guy comes by, and he's like, I need your takeout.
	I need a takeout.
	Take it back.
	We'll give you a refund.
	We give you a refund.
	And he shows up to get it back.
	And Tim's like, no, I'm not giving you back.
	But the craziest part of it was: oh, look, British expat.
	That's fucking weird.
	That's fucking weird.
	And this is not the guy.
	Maybe British people are the only people smart enough to notice that ribs are not meant to be this big.
	Because in the dark ages, they used to eat rats or something, and it's hereditary.
	I don't know.
	What?
	I don't know.
	No, they have a better education system, you absolute putrid retard.
	That too.
	No, they remember the bubonic plague.
	So he said, no, I'm not giving it back to you.
	And then he never did anything about it.
	And then he said to me, I go, I contacted him about like three days later and I go, I'm still having nightmares every night, covered in sweat, having to get up and like have a shower from what you told me about those fucking ribs.
	And he goes, oh, I mean, it's basically the same meat.
	It's not a big deal.
	I think sometimes rats are good for you.
	Okay, dude.
	Whatever you have to tell yourself.
	You know, he's lying to himself to feel better about that.
	Maybe.
	Hell yeah.
	I couldn't summon anger from him.
	He's just like, yeah, it is what it is, mate.
	I don't knock about.
	Whatever.
	No.
	Anyway, so this is Fleckis talking to the organizer of it.
	And Michael Knowles.
	I love Michael Knowles, by the way.
	I'm gay for him.
	I actually fucked him at a party once.
	I don't want to call him benign because that sounds insulting, but he's not controversial at all.
	In fact, if it was 2004, he'd definitely be known as a liberal.
	I think he was known as a liberal in 2004.
	He just dared not to get on the woke train.
	I had an argument with my friend Leslie, and she's like, you're the only friend of ours from back then who hasn't evolved, who hasn't progressed.
	I'm like, that's normal, Leslie.
	I'm 50.
	I'm a dad.
	You're supposed to have pretty much the same views you had when you were 35.
	Anyway, check it out.
	Taking, you know, classical liberal ideas out and replacing them with socialism and radical progressivism, to be honest.
	And it's hard to keep up because, like you said, you can't be a Democrat.
	You can't be on the left and be pro-life anymore.
	Hello.
	Hi.
	I'm Austin.
	Come enjoying the conversation.
	Cool.
	What do you want to talk about?
	I just want to see what you think.
	Whoa, whoa, stop.
	Okay.
	Did that guy go like this?
	Oh, I can't fucking deal with this.
	He's like, that's all you.
	Wait, what is that?
	Is this where we are as a society?
	More.
	Hello.
	Hi.
	I'm Austin.
	Cool.
	What do you want to talk about?
	I just want to see what you're talking about.
	Oh, okay.
	Stop.
	We're talking about free speech on campus.
	Huge.
	Stop.
	You're afraid of freeze.
	Freeze.
	This is the real problem here.
	I bitch about women a lot on this show and racism and liberals.
	Men with balls, we need to do some cleaning up here a little bit.
	We're cucks.
	We're letting some woman walk all over us because we don't want trouble.
	I don't want any issues.
	Sorry, sorry.
	Look at this story.
	Pause that, right?
	But go to 1.6.
	Look at this cuck.
	So their fucking stupid dog bit their kid.
	I'm a child of the 70s.
	Look at that dumb Spuds McKenzie Pitbull.
	Dog bites your kid.
	It's just, it doesn't even, there's no discussion.
	The dad takes the dog to the backfield with his 22, pops him in the head, digs a hole.
	Kids cry.
	The end.
	I mean, you're over it the next day.
	But this was a major ordeal.
	This family got in trouble because they killed the dog or had him put down.
	I just would have shot the dog that afternoon, immediately after.
	I probably just let it throw it right there.
	And feel nothing.
	If my stupid dog, Leroy, and Leroy, if you're watching right now, if you bite any of my children without a second thought, with my heart rate not even increasing, I will take you outside.
	I'll step on you.
	I'll put my spade, and I don't mean a black man, on your throat, and I'll just go chunk.
	The first chunk will take your head off.
	I won't be mad at all, by the way.
	I'll be minimizing this spills.
	Then I'll dig a hole in our backyard, and I'll put you in it, and I'll bury it.
	We can have a little ceremony, whatever.
	That's it.
	That's not remotely unusual.
	That's what cave people have been doing.
	This has been a non-mentionable act.
	And when I say non-mentionable, I mean irrelevant, like you had a poo-poo.
	This has been a poo-poo from cave days till 2010.
	So for a long fucking time.
	200,000 years.
	And now we're like, don't.
	You should give it therapy.
	What should I do with this stupid dog?
	That's what I'm saying.
	If you give it therapy.
	No one wants it.
	Don't put it in the pound.
	It's going to go bite another kid.
	Right.
	And you'll notice these rescue things.
	When you go there, they're like, you go, what's it doing here?
	And they go, I don't know.
	It just arrived here.
	Really?
	Or did it bite a fucking kid?
	And you don't want to give it a curse.
	I think you're responsible for that, too.
	If it like attacks somebody and then attacks somebody again, you're responsible for that.
	Well, the rule is if another person's dog bites your kid, you just call the cops and they cart it away and have it killed.
	I'm fine.
	Like who has a problem with that?
	Are dogs more important than children in modern American society?
	Because that's not a good vibe.
	What are you looking up?
	Leroy.
	Oh.
	Yeah.
	So go back to that.
	So she's saying, look, I had to kill the dog.
	I'm sorry.
	By the way, why are you making this public?
	This is 1.6.
	But look at his face.
	He just sits there with his cuck face while she explains everything.
	Not that I need any explanation for you killing some inbred monster that bit your child.
	Why is she running the machine?
	Why is she driving the boat?
	Why is she explaining everything?
	Oh, they've taken it down, have they?
	Yep.
	Look at his face.
	Look at that third thumbnail.
	Yep, sorry.
	She's explaining everything for me, though.
	It reminds me of, speaking of cucks, this is very NSFW.
	Did we put this video on anything, on Bramble or anything?
	Yeah, we might want to save this video.
	Okay, we'll save that.
	But I was looking at pictures of Hedonism 2, where guys have the local Jamaicans fuck their wives at a resort and then take pictures of it.
	And you're just like, why?
	Hedonism 2?
	Being a black man in a movie wife is hard to comprehend.
	So what is this?
	Play the audio?
	You don't care that they're them while they're eating.
	Like, are they lying?
	This is somebody talking about...
	So disgusting.
	It's like, not only did they make this video, but they did a Instagram photo shoot prior to putting the dog down.
	Would you like it after they put the dog down?
	Well, that's annoying too, though.
	Like, just kill it.
	This is the problem with social media, too.
	All right, anyway, sorry.
	Long tangent.
	We're going to go back to the Fleckus and the British woman arguing about free speech, where she claims free speech isn't hate speech.
	Just to be mean, I'm going to play some of this and then pause it and go behind the paywall.
	That's the kind of dickhead I am.
	I want to keep you wanting more.
	You can't be a Democrat.
	You can't be on the left and be pro-life anymore.
	Hello.
	Hi.
	I'm Austin.
	I'm enjoying the conversation.
	Well, what do you want to talk about?
	I just want to see what you were talking about.
	Okay.
	We're talking about free speech on campus and how bringing a conservative on campus has resulted in some flack and some backlash from some of the students.
	And talking about sharing multiple ideas and kind of hearing both sides and engaging in free speech and dialogue on campus and how important that is.
	Do you agree?
	I think it's a difficult question.
	I'm interested in what you have to say.
	About what specifically?
	Free speech or nothing more?
	Michael Knowles or free speech?
	The original entry into this conversation was to find out what you are talking about.
	That's why you're here, right?
	You want to.
	He just told you.
	Yeah, so talk about it.
	Okay, that's an interesting way to approach people.
	We're asking you to support free speeches.
	That's what we're basically saying.
	Pause.
	I don't have to answer your questions.
	You know what's great about Flekis is his background is football.
	So he enjoys confrontation and he's unflappable.
	Great adrenaline control.
	My son today was fighting with his black friend on the trampoline.
	And this is going to sound racist, but my experience has been that black people, especially young black people, tend to be more agile.
	They can do backflips before white people can.
	Am I a cuck?
	Anyway, my youngest boy was trying to play fight with this young African-American gentleman, and he was fucking whooping his ass.
	And that would make my son angrier and angrier.
	And my wife was like, all right, I think we can, let's slow it down a bit.
	That's getting a bit intense.
	I go, honey, this is what boys do.
	Someone's learning a lesson here.
	And so I was watching them fighting.
	It was funny because they were trying to throw each other.
	And you're looking at two people who weigh 50 pounds.
	And my boy was getting madder and madder and madder the more he lost.
	And it was several little mini fights, right?
	They sort of invented this game where you whip the ball at the guy's head and then you throw him on the ground.
	This is in a trampoline, though.
	So they're throwing each other around into cage match.
	My wife's getting super nervous.
	And I'm like, they're on a trampoline in this, like, with a bouncy mesh thing.
	They're not pounding each other.
	Let it go.
	And then he said something hilarious in the car.
	I go, I go, that was good.
	Adrenaline control.
	That's the key.
	People get mad when they lose.
	I was, you know, I didn't want them to hurt their friendship.
	Like, look, you guys are fighting.
	That's fine.
	You're play fighting.
	Not a big deal.
	You guys should be friends tomorrow.
	And then he goes, the black kid, as I was driving home, he goes, he had a bad attitude.
	And so I beat him up.
	And then he goes, anyone with a bad attitude, bring them to me and I'll beat them up.
	That's what he said?
	Yeah.
	That's funny.
	I go, what about her?
	And there's some woman, like old lady walking.
	He's like, yep.
	Anyone with a bad attitude, bring to me.
	His dad's a cop.
	I wonder if that's like genetic or if he's learning from his dad.
	But anyway, I'm fine with it.
	By all means, we need more young kids fighting.
	It's perfectly healthy.
	Why?
	I mean, monitor it.
	Make sure there's no like face ripping.
	But it wasn't.
	They were actually very civil with each other.
	And my boy had a little suck attack at the end.
	And that's also a big part of learning.
	Okay.
	Let's watch a tiny bit more.
	Of course I support free speech.
	But there is a difference between free speech and hate speech.
	I'm sure.
	Stop.
	You're an assistant professor.
	You work at this school.
	God knows how you got a visa.
	I hope one of your parents is American, because if we're giving visas to foreigners to teach our kids and they don't even know that there's not a difference between free speech and hate speech, sorry.
	Free speech is not to argue the Beatles versus the Stones.
	Free speech, much to my chagrin, includes NAMBLA.
	Free speech includes arguing with people who want to fuck kids.
	Free speech includes race and IQ.
	Free speech includes the Holocaust.
	Free speech, Holocaust denial.
	Free speech includes all of the most horrible things you can imagine.
	It's the free market of ideas.
	I'm sorry.
	Free speech includes, are Scottish people cheap?
	The answer is yes.
	But they should have a Scottish person there debating that and proving the opposite.
	Obviously, or you wouldn't need to fight for it.
	No one on earth has a problem with the discussion of the Rolling Stones versus the Beatles.
	So there's no need to discuss that.
	But when things get uncomfortable, like should we defund the police, you'll notice, by the way, the hate speech is fine when It's anti-cop, anti-white, anti-Western, anti-American.
	No one has a problem on campus with burning the flag.
	Anti-Israel.
	That's great.
	Let's harass an Israeli.
	That's fine.
	If you want to do an Israeli talk at that school, I mean, you better have security.
	But that's okay.
	You can attack Michael Knowles.
	That's okay.
	Isn't that ironic?
	She's talking about when free speech is not allowed and she is policing Michael Knowles' free speech.
	You come across as a bitch.
	That's kind of what the guy did.
	Just put a bow off his hand something.
	That's what that dude should have said with the tie there.
	You come across as a bitch.
	Why does Fleckis wear that reflective gear?
	I don't know.
	It's funny.
	Or the spoon on the phone.
	I never got it.
	The spoon's gone, unfortunately.
	He's got the little spoon there.
	No, he doesn't.
	You retire.
	That's on the back of the phone.
	He always carries a mini spoon on the back of his phone.
	That doesn't count.
	Oh, okay.
	What is the difference?
	I'm sure you're aware.
	The difference is one is oppressing people and the other one is just having your say.
	Do you think there's a legal difference?
	I'm not answering your questions.
	Now you're harassing me.
	I wanted to ask you.
	Well, you approached me.
	I was just standing here having an interview with this nice young man.
	I'm standing here asking you a question.
	What was the question you asked me?
	I asked you, what are you talking about?
	You seemed very unable to talk about it, which is a little bit strange.
	And I'll see you there.
	He's trying to get away from her.
	I also support, I support, protester in the back.
	What do you support specifically?
	Do you think that anti-immigrant rhetoric is violent?
	That woman that you're looking at, she seems like a pretty girl.
	I'm looking at Satan.
	I cannot imagine someone I abore more than her.
	I want to run from her.
	Like the worst racist in the world seeing a black guy.
	No, that's different because he hates him.
	I don't hate her.
	I do hate her, obviously, but I just, I want to get away.
	Like if I saw her in public, I would run.
	She's capable of anything.
	Run.
	It's not even fear.
	It's just like, yuck.
	Like, you know, when someone hates pickles or something?
	You know, when they have Maury Povich and they're scared of balloons or something like that?
	And then they bring out balloons or pickles or some weird thing like snails.
	She's a snail for me.
	She has a rib cage that's in Chinese food.
	Yeah.
	If Maury Povich brought her out and I was on, I would start crying and running away and trying to...
	The cameras would follow me down the hallway.
	Like, what's wrong?
	What's wrong?
	And I go, get away.
	Get down.
	I was, you know, with your co-host of Compound Uncensored, I was just watching Opie and Anthony where they go through all the Maury things.
	And I just watched that shit.
	And he's an asshole.
	He's like, oh, you're afraid of marshmallows?
	Bring out the marshmallows.
	And then he yells at it.
	That's good TV.
	And she's great.
	She showed up.
	But then he yells at the people with the, he's like, all right, that's enough.
	As if this is great.
	Modern Barnum and Bailey.
	No, we love it.
	If you don't like it, don't go to the show.
	You're an asshole if you go to a marshmallow phobe's home or you follow them down the street or you tell Gary to button his fucking shirt up.
	Have you seen Gary walking around these days?
	I know Gary's whole thing is no shirt.
	Correct.
	He just wears, like, this is a dress shirt.
	This is, not this, this.
	And it's just like his nipples are out, just walking down the street.
	He's got some long.
	And in New York City, he looks well dressed.
	Yeah, no, he does well.
	Besides the shredded pants.
	His fucking string cheese pants.
	Rhetoric is violent free speech?
	Yes, because of the reason.
	Do you think that speech is violence?
	No, I think that sign says the conversation that you're having is a president.
	Hold on.
	So she goes, I'm here.
	I suppose this activist.
	And the activist said, free speech is violent.
	And she goes, no, it's not.
	Well, go back a little bit because I've been chatting too much.
	Yeah, somebody emailed and said, please play the video.
	Really?
	Yes.
	Rhetoric is violent free speech.
	Sorry.
	Yes.
	What do you support specifically?
	Do you think that anti-immigrant rhetoric is violent free speech?
	Yes, because of the reason why.
	Do you think that speech is violence?
	No, I think that sign says.
	The conversation that you're having is oppressive.
	So I am oppressing people by what I'm doing.
	I am exerting violence on people by my speech.
	That's what the sign says, and that's what you just said.
	It contributes to.
	And the protester is saying that's exactly what I'm doing, and she's saying that's exactly what her sign means.
	So that means that you, a faculty member at an American public university, paid for by taxpayer dollars, are conflating speech with violence.
	Yes.
	Speech can be violent.
	What you are saying contributes to systemic racism in this country.
	It means that my students of color are pulled over and accused of stealing a car when they did not.
	I'm not pulling anybody over for stealing any cars.
	I see many people of many different races in this room.
	They all seem to be doing just fine.
	I don't think any of them have felt violence because they listened to a lecture.
	Hold on, hold on.
	I try not to interrupt it.
	So Michael Knowles' speech is so racist that it contributes to systemic racism.
	Cops somehow hear of this.
	I don't know how.
	And then they are more likely to pull someone over.
	And it's just a given, by the way, that cops are pulling people over, blacks over, and killing them.
	The logic is shocking.
	The systemic racism thing is this big bowl of soup where if you throw like one lentil into it, you're part of the systemic stew that gets George Floyd killed.
	Michael Knowles is exactly on par with Barack Obama in 2004, the Clintons in 2004.
	He is, and I'm not disparaging him here, a normal liberal from 15 years ago.
	But today, to be a 2004 Barack Obama is to be a fucking racist murderer.
	Go ahead.
	On basic facts about our immigration system.
	Are you there to ask us if we felt violence, or are you just assuming that we had it?
	So The question was: Have I asked people in this room if they've felt as though some violence has been committed on them?
	No, I haven't asked because no violence has been committed on you.
	Because violence is not a subjective feeling.
	Violence is an objective fact.
	Can you believe the world we're living in?
	That is controversial.
	What did I just witness?
	Anyway, I want to show you Jordan Peterson discussing his life and how he's not a racist or a bigot.
	And people come up to him and say, hey, you helped improve my life.
	But if you read the media, he's a fucking Nazi.
	And then I'm going to show you Jen Saki saying I support the banning of the freedom of the press at a press conference.
	She's anti-free speech at a press conference.
	But that's not for you, freeloaders.
	Shit, I tried to shut this down in half an hour.
	This is for people behind the paywall.
	So for all you folks, please subscribe to censored.tv.
	It's $10 a month.
	We keep getting new shows.
	You could argue we ripped off the people who first subscribed because they subscribed to one show.
	And now we're up to like 20 shows.
	And we keep getting more on a daily basis.
	Not a daily basis, but a monthly basis.
	There's new content every day.
	I think it's a lot of fun.
	It's better than fucking TV.
	In fact, Conan O'Brien announced today that he's done.
	Wow.
	One, two.
	He's like, sorry, there's too many podcasts and shit.
	Yeah, dude, that's because you and Colbert and Kimmel, you all have the same opinions about everything.
	There's no nuance there.
	There's no theories.
	There's no discussion.
	It's just wokeism.
	And wokeism is boring.
	You got woke.
	You went broke.
	Your stupid episode where you went to Haiti to show how awesome it was sucked balls because Haiti sucks as bad as you.
	Important.
	I did want to talk about something important here at the very top of the show.
	As some of you have heard, it's been out there for a while now, but we're making it official.
	We are winding down our TBS show.
	The plan is to re-emerge on HBO Max sometime in the near future with, I think, what will be my fourth iteration of a program.
	Imagine a cooking show with puppets, and you'll have the wrong idea.
	Anyway, we're going to be making this switch.
	Now, some of you are probably wondering, why am I doing this?
	Why end things here at TBS?
	And I'll tell you, because a very old Buddhist monk once told me that to pick something up, you must first.
	Okay, shut up, shut up, shut up.
	Anyway, he goes off and he says it's TV podcast.
	Battle into the show.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	How's your penis doing, Ryan?
	Not good.
	Why?
	What's the matter?
	Just, you know, I've read this article in the New York Post and it said, according to research, a bigger nose means a bigger penis.
	I saw that, yep.
	And unfortunately, I only have one of those things, and it's, I don't know if you could tell which one it is.
	So, but I said, how's your penis doing?
	I mean, if you were born with a small penis, there's nothing like doing.
	I mean, it's like I'm looking for an update, a news update of the penis.
	Just, you know, no news is bad news.
	Sucks.
	So fine is the answer.
	Yeah, I suppose.
	Stable.
	It's still disappointing.
	Yeah, on a regular basis, it's disappointing.
	Did you ever catch it in your fly?
	No, I'd have to wear very tight pants to do that.
	Yeah.
	Because it's so small, you know?
	Deanna Craig, in the year 1987, she was jerking me off.
	And with a foreskin, you have to hold it in the exact right spot.
	If you hold it too high, when you go down, you rip the fresnellum, which is like, take a t-shirt, pull this part of the t-shirt, and put it in your mouth.
	That's the freshman.
	It's actually the same word for this part.
	Yeah.
	So if she goes too high, she'll tear it.
	And then if you go too low, then you're drinking it off.
	It's just like a sock.
	You can't feel anything.
	It's like not good.
	So it has to, a man should guide it.
	But I was 16 and I didn't know what to do.
	So I was like, harder, harder.
	And I was shit faced, like blackout drunk.
	So she was holding it high up and ripping and she ripped the Fresnelli.
	And then the next time I had sex with this other girl, Big Kimmy, as I put it in, oof, a showerhead of blood went again.
	Showerhead.
	I believe this is discussed in my book, Death of Cool.
	And yeah, a Muslim doctor said, you need to be circumcised, my friend.
	And I said, no.
	And I fixed my own foreskin by being very careful and giving it like six months, which is not a long time when you're 16, you're not getting pussy very much.
	And I fixed it.
	Nice.
	Don't listen to the Doctors.
	Anyway, Jordan Peterson is a crybaby, but if you can get through the fact that he's crying publicly like this, and I know I cried the other day about my dead grandmother, but this is different because it's not me.
	Time coded on purpose or no?
	No?
	Okay.
	Something I can tell you about my life that's really remarkable.
	So, you know, if you just read the press, well, you'd have all sorts of ideas about me.
	Faggot.
	Know that I'm a bigot.
	And a faggot.
	A bigot.
	So that's, you know, racist.
	Is that big faggot?
	Is that short for Texas?
	Spelled.
	B-I-G-G-O-T.
	Oh, speaking of bigots, Joe Biggs is in fucking jail because of this shit, because of January 6th.
	Crazy.
	We've deleted his shows completely because I don't want to get subpoenaed and have them use it against it.
	That's what they did with the Max and John.
	They used my shows against him.
	So shows are gone, FBI.
	Go ahead, subpoena me.
	You'll have to, I don't know, get in the Wayback Machine.
	We'd love to have him back after all this shit dust settles.
	But here's how to contact him.
	What are you doing?
	I've got to have to put in a doc so I don't.
	Just zoom in, dickweed.
	Okay.
	But then it's all on the left side.
	Let me just do this real quick.
	It's on the left side?
	You're on the left side.
	I bet you're going to zoom in when you put in the Google Doc.
	Yeah.
	So here's how to contact Joe Biggs.
	SCSO-SCH, Joseph Biggs, 2021, what is that?
	0000-2744.
	P.O. Box 1907, Pinellas Park, Florida.
	Imminent information.
	His booking number is the number we just said.
	2021-0000-2744.
	Named Joseph Biggs.
	Jailed at Seminole.
	Seminole.
	Seminole County Jail.
	Yeah, this will be at the end of the finished episode, too.
	Okay, good, good.
	The very last cards there.
	And I got to tell you, these little notes you write to Max and John and now Joe and Mercedes, Melinda, I can't tell you how much it means to them.
	I haven't talked to Joe in a while, but Max and John and Melinda, they go, like, you feel like you're on a satellite.
	You feel like you're in space.
	Just floating away to your death.
	And then you get a little note.
	It doesn't have to be a 50-page essay, but you get a little note and it goes like, hey man, and make it as irrelevant as possible is my advice.
	Whenever I wrote Tommy Robinson when he was in prison, I would talk about chips or like the story I just told you with my son fighting his best friend.
	Stupid.
	Like they've talked about jail, they've talked about the case to death.
	But talk about something like, you ever heard of Hedonism 2?
	Where these boomers go and they just fuck and suck.
	And I was looking at pictures online and their pussies are like worn out.
	Like they're red.
	Can you believe that shit?
	Could you ever imagine doing that?
	Dumb shit like that.
	They're very sick about talking about jail.
	And you can't mention Proud Boys.
	You obviously can't mention the case.
	You can't mention information about another inmate.
	You know all that.
	Just keep it silly.
	Be like, there was a woman at this restaurant today that had a fart so loud that you couldn't not hear it and no one reacted.
	By the way, side note here, I know I'm off at 50 tangents.
	If you're trying to get laid and you're single, this isn't unethical.
	Lie.
	That story I just told you about a loud fart didn't happen.
	Probably very hard to imagine it happening.
	When you meet a girl, tell her that.
	Be like, I'm sorry, I just got to tell you this.
	I'm freaking out.
	I was just at a restaurant and this fat lady, not even that fat, like my ex-girlfriend's size, you don't want to come across as like a guy who hates fat chicks.
	She had this fucking rap that was that loud, literally that loud.
	And no one did anything.
	Nobody tackled her.
	Nobody.
	No one, like, they just kept eating.
	The waiter, and I was looking at the guy next to me at the bar and he looks back at me and I was like, and then he just goes, I was like, am I in some sort of fart zombie movie?
	Yeah.
	It's like Invasion of the Fart Snatchers.
	That's not true.
	Didn't happen.
	But it's a good icebreaker.
	Sure is.
	And all is fair in love and war.
	All right, let's go back to Cry Baby Peterson.
	Also, this is a little, you can screenshot this.
	This helps too.
	All right.
	Screenshot that.
	Motherfucker.
	Phew.
	Oh, that was a cool effect.
	Yep.
	And so that's, you know, racist, sexist, homophobic, ethnocentric, white nationalist, alt-right, Nazi, hatred.
	Homophobic.
	All of those things.
	God?
	And you'd think that there was just nothing but hatred, although I have been treated well by many journalists, but you could easily get that sense that, like, I live in a world where I'm surrounded by hatred.
	And that is absolutely not true.
	It's so not true that it's, you know, there are lies and then there are antitruths.
	And an antitruth is even worse than a lie.
	It's like the ultimate form of lie.
	And that isn't what my life is like at all.
	What my life is like is that I travel with my wife and wherever we go, and I mean that literally, wherever we go, and we've been to, I don't know how many countries in the last year.
	It's like, I don't know how many.
	30, 40?
	30, 40, 45 countries.
	If I go down the street, or if I'm in an airport, or if I'm in a cafe, or if I'm in a movie theater, or if I'm in a mechanic shop, some person comes up to me Every 10 minutes, and says,
	I hope I'm not disturbing you.
	And they're very, very polite.
	And they say, I've been listening to your lectures, or I've been watching your YouTube videos, or I read your book, and I was in this dreadful place six months ago.
	And then they tell me a little bit about the particulars of that little corner of hell they were ensconced in.
	And then they say, well, I've been trying to develop a vision for my life, or I've been trying to take more responsibility, or I've been trying to be grateful for my job, mundane though it may be, or I've decided that I'm going to try to put my family together and make peace,
	and I've really been trying, and it's really working, and things are way better.
	And thank you.
	And so, well, it's overwhelming to have that happen continually.
	It's very difficult to believe, but it's unbelievably positive.
	You know, I mean, it's, if you could imagine, if you could ask for what you wanted, hey, you could have anything you wanted, you might think, it would be lovely if I could live my life in a manner so that wherever I went in the world,
	perfect strangers would come up to me, one after the other, and tell me that they're suffering much less, that their families are in better shape, and that their lives are on course because they took to heart something that I was communicating.
	That's as good as it gets, as far as I can tell.
	I think that's an okay cry.
	Pretty great.
	Yeah, why not?
	I would like a little less.
	He is a ledge end, but according to Dusty Bogan.
	That's a reasonable cry.
	Yeah.
	I get that too.
	Like if I, when I'm going to work and I'm walking around, I get a thumbs up or something, a selfie.
	It used to be 95 positive 5.
	Fuck you, Nazi.
	Now it's gone down to like 85 positive 15.
	Fuck you.
	But that's pretty good.
	Yeah.
	I'll take it.
	It's always funny.
	It doesn't make me cry.
	No.
	I just, like the Karens that terrorize my wife and children in the suburbs, they affect my life much more.
	I'd love to kill all of them.
	But as far as like out of meeting 100 people around the country, it's 85-15.
	Is Dusty?
	Dusty Bogan.
	All right, you're fucking legend, Mike.
	Oh, he remembers him?
	Wait, what?
	Oh, no, you've been standing there for a long time?
	You want to hear something megalomaniacal?
	I think Jordan dresses in suits because of me.
	Really?
	You remember?
	I discovered Jordan Peterson and Candace Owens.
	They were on my show when they were nobodies.
	Like, I got Jordan right after the use the right pronouns thing.
	And I got Candace when she was just on her fucking Skype in her dorm room.
	Now she's talking about running for vice president.
	Right.
	And Kanye is like, she dope and shit.
	But I just thought this was funny, Dusty.
	Legend.
	What a moron.
	No, he's a legend, man.
	He's like the end of the ledge.
	Okay, go to Jen Saki advocating for censorship when her job is to convey to the American press what's going on.
	So her job is information.
	This is a big 1A, 2A country, right?
	First Amendment is paramount to this country.
	It defines it in many ways.
	It started it, I would argue.
	And there she is, the head of the information part of the country.
	And she's like, some people should be shut down if I don't like them.
	Thanks, Jen.
	Facebook has decided to keep former President Trump off of its platform for now.
	Senator Ted Cruz tweeted the following.
	For every liberal celebrating Trump's social media ban, if the big tech oligarchs can muzzle the former president, what's to stop them from silencing you?
	What do you make of that?
	Wait a minute.
	Is her hair red?
	Stop.
	Look at those roots.
	Oh, those look like brown to me.
	Is she a fake ginge?
	That's weird.
	All right, go ahead.
	Well, let me first say that this is an independent board's decision, and we're not going to have any comment on the future of the former president's social media platform.
	That's a decision that it sounds like the independent board punted back to Facebook to make in the next six months, as I know you all have reported.
	The president's view is that the major platforms have a responsibility related to the health and safety of all Americans to stop amplifying untrustworthy content, disinformation and misinformation,
	especially related to COVID-19, vaccinations.
	See, this is how it starts.
	We don't want you saying don't get the vaccine because that's dangerous and could kill the whole country.
	So I have to tell you, no, don't say that.
	And then they start with, because that sounds reasonable, right?
	Hey, don't tell people not to get the polio vaccine or people will start keep getting polio.
	Gotcha.
	I'm not saying I agree with that.
	I'm just saying I get the argument.
	And then they start with that and then they go, I have to stop this misinformation, that misinformation, the misinformation that Hunter Biden's laptop exists.
	I have to stifle it all.
	And we've seen that over the past several months.
	Broadly speaking, I'm not placing any blame on any individual or group.
	We've seen it from a number of sources.
	He also supports better privacy protections and a robust antitrust program.
	So his view is that there's more that needs to be done to ensure that this type of misinformation, disinformation, damaging, sometimes life-threatening information is not going out to the American public.
	You're saying more that needs to be done.
	Are there any concerns, though, about First Amendment rights?
	And where does the White House draw the line on that?
	Well, look, I think we are, of course, a believer in First Amendment rights.
	I think what the decisions are that the social media platforms need to make is how they address the disinformation, misinformation, especially related to life-threatening issues like COVID-19 and vaccinations that continue to proliferate on their platforms.
	President Biden said he wanted it done by the first anniversary of George Gordon's death, May 25th.
	Is he confident that Congress can meet that benchmark?
	Where do those negotiations move?
	Well, the negotiations are between members of Congress.
	So, and he- Shut up, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	All right.
	I thought this was interesting.
	Josh Hawley, he's another guy.
	There's DeSantis, Matt Gates.
	He's got to escape this 17-year-old girl shit.
	We don't know where that is now.
	And there's Josh Hawley.
	Josh Hawley believes he is being canceled, which he's letting us know while speaking on multiple national platforms.
	Examines in today's world of tape.
	So CNN says, what a bitch Josh Hawley is.
	He's not...
	Haley, Hawley?
	He's not being canceled.
	Shut the fuck up.
	You're on all of these platforms, you stupid bitch.
	You're not getting canceled, Josh.
	Next.
	Jake Tapper of CNN retweets, the case against platforming seditionists in one clip.
	So Josh is now a seditionist.
	Don't try to censor, cancel the senator.
	We're hosting you here.
	So Molly Jongfast, who is some weird amateur activist, child of activist parents, spinster, eggless, sad, colossomy bag for Strangers Come at four in the morning.
	Her take is that you shouldn't give these people free speech.
	And what does she call free speech in this case?
	It's platforming seditionists.
	What in the aching hell does that mean?
	It means that by giving Josh a platform, a chance to speak, you're leading to treason.
	It's treasonous.
	This is in the midst of a year of fucking riots that she has zero problem with, I guarantee you.
	That's a civil rights act.
	But she's doing the fake glasses thing.
	Those eyebrows are very distracting, aren't they?
	They remind me of Land of the Lost.
	Her whole face is Chaka.
	She's Chaka.
	Anyway, James O'Keefe continues to kick ass.
	I'm actually getting worried about James O'Keefe, to be honest.
	When I saw Jacob DeGrom pitching last week, I thought, I enjoyed it at first, and then I went, oh my God, he sold his soul to the devil to have this level of talent.
	And I'm becoming concerned that James O'Keefe has sold his soul to the devil to be this on at all times.
	Here he is getting sued.
	He's in a deposition by some snarky boomer, Mark H. Cousins plaintiff attorney.
	And these guys are used to bullying people.
	And, you know, you get scared when you're being sued.
	You don't know the law as well as these lawyers, and you're on their turf.
	And it's like sparring with, you know, a pro.
	So it's normal to be intimidated.
	Not James.
	I'm going to object, but I don't think a New York Times reporter or an NBC News reporter or a 60-minute reporter would ever reveal their sources.
	Mr. O'Keefe, the difference between you and them is that they would never compare themselves to you.
	The answer is yes or no?
	No.
	The Supreme Court of the United States has backed me up on that.
	You brought me here against my will.
	You brought the cameras here.
	You're the ones suing us.
	You're the ones admitting that you're using this as a device to stop us.
	I think it's an anathema to the First Amendment.
	I think it's a national disgrace.
	And so help me, God, I will not stop fighting for our First Amendment rights under the Constitution.
	Well, we think you're a national disgrace, Mr. O'Keefe.
	As I take that as a popular phrase.
	I just want to know whether you are asserting that Lauren Windsor or anyone else communicated either with me or anyone associated with my lawfully.
	We're about to find out because today we're issuing a subpoena to Randy Weingart.
	Okay, we'll take 10 minutes.
	Oh my God.
	Isn't that fucking awesome?
	Wow.
	The best defense is a good offense.
	So as he's getting sued, he sues people.
	And there was another guy in the next link you'll see there.
	This guy, Jesse Hicks.
	Never heard of him, of course.
	He tries to out Veritas, Veritas.
	And he poses as a Veritas reporter.
	And they go, fuck you, we caught you.
	You're getting sued.
	Jesse Hicks.
	He's a journalist you probably never heard of, but Jesse Hicks did something that was absolutely unlawful, thought it would be cute to impersonate our staff in order to steal private information from within Project Veritas.
	How did we find this out?
	He pretended to be, quote, Megan WorksComs, but when we triangulated the phone number for Megan WorkComs, it matched one Jesse Hicks.
	I will come after you and I will win.
	Buckle up, Jesse, because I'm going to have the time of my life.
	Jesse, pray for James O'Keefe.
	Pray for him.
	He has sold his soul to the devil for this level of success, and it's not good.
	Not good.
	I'm not being metaphorical.
	I think he literally must have made a deal with Satan, right?
	Is that you doing those glasses?
	Yeah.
	I read a comment that was like, I literally pictured the thug life glasses on his face without it being edited in.
	All right, let's start taking calls.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, fucking calls, motherfucker.
	Bitch ass.
	Maybe I'll start drawing again.
	I gotta figure out a way to sell these drawings.
	No, you are on air.
	This is a fucking loser.
	You don't need to learn, share, listen, understand why.
	Hey, why does everyone get two things?
	You have one thing.
	Thank you for calling.
	It was great hearing from you.
	Bye-bye.
	All right, next call.
	Wait, wait, merry fuck kill.
	Can I do a merry fuck kill?
	These sharpies don't really age well.
	I feel like I only get like a week.
	Come together.
	Come together right now.
	Over me.
	Maybe I'll make those glasses.
	When was the last classic song like that?
	Like, or Roxanne or Toto, Loves and Always.
	There's no more classic songs out there, huh?
	I guess Adele?
	That's the closest thing?
	Well, that's a very loaded assignment, Ryan.
	Yeah.
	I just don't think there's legendary, timeless songs being made no more.
	Well, the thing that makes those songs legendary is the time.
	True.
	The staying power.
	The staying power and all that.
	Who knows?
	I'm going to sound like an asshole, but maybe one of those MGMT songs.
	No, you're right.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	When you look back in 20 years and go, man, they don't make songs like that anymore.
	Or even Vampire Weekend.
	I know, I know, I can hear you screaming.
	They're stupid hipster faggot songs.
	But in the context of the time.
	Yeah, the majority rules.
	They decide, like, if the majority of people decide it's a classic, like Mr. Brightside is the new generation.
	The other thing I hate about when they go, we'll never have a Jimi Hendrix again.
	You had all this boomer attention to those bands where they like there's plenty of incredible guitarists.
	There's a Jimi Hendrix around right now we don't know about.
	You know what I mean?
	He's just not getting the pump.
	Yeah, there's plenty of incredible albums that you know of that just don't have that.
	Like Jimi Hendrix, how many songs did he write?
	It's not that many.
	There's Voodoo Child, which was kind of a rip-off of some old blues song.
	But did he even write Are You Experienced?
	Songs written by Jimi Hendrix.
	Seems to be a decent fuck ton.
	There's a good amount.
	I mean.
	No, I take it back.
	That's a lot of songs.
	Yeah, he was around for a short time.
	Vanish Castle Magic.
	Everyone's gone through a Jimi Hendrix stage, right?
	Okay, I would like to officially take back what I just said.
	I thought he hadn't written that many songs, but that's a lot.
	Go back to that list.
	I might go on a Jimi Hendrix Bender after this.
	It's a fun trip.
	I love that A Merman I Should Turn Out Turn To Be.
	Do you know that song?
	Forever, Dion.
	He and some woman, he falls in love with a mermaid and he commits to moving into the ocean with her.
	And it's like, they said a man and a woman can't breathe underwater.
	Great jam.
	I've never heard this.
	Wait, this sounds like a cover.
	Extended cut.
	Fuck those song rules.
	So he's leaving Earth.
	Sorry, Earth.
	I'm not a fan.
	Go back.
	I just love that everyone's going.
	You can't do it.
	A man and woman can't live underwater.
	And it builds up throughout this song.
	What else do we got?
	Stop.
	Stop playing it.
	Oh, go back.
	The Gods Made Love, Angel.
	Are You Experienced A Chorus?
	I don't know.
	Belly Button Window.
	Bald is Love.
	I know.
	That's about a baby.
	Can you see me?
	Castle's Made of Sand.
	He wrote that?
	Castle's Made of Sand.
	That's a...
	That's...
	Wait, Crosstown Traffic?
	He didn't write?
	Isn't that Bob Dylan?
	No, all along the Watchtower is Bob Dylan.
	Oh, right, right, right, right, right.
	Yes, yes, yes.
	I feel like a dummy.
	Okay.
	Castle's Made of Sand is...
	Dude.
	I just assumed that was some folk song from 1402.
	Right.
	No, it's fucking good.
	Hear my trainer coming.
	Hear my trainer coming.
	I don't live today.
	Or maybe tomorrow.
	Just can't wait.
	Dude, I'm so mad at KXP in Seattle.
	To become woke, they killed John in the morning.
	And now it's some Somalian black dude who plays shitty 90s backpack rap.
	And the most annoying thing about it is his fake black accent.
	If you're black and you live in Seattle, you should sound like me.
	They don't have a black accent.
	Jimi Hendrix, hey man, what's going on?
	I'm a black dude from Seattle.
	Not necessarily the hood, but an area that lives there.
	Obviously, that's more hippie than normal, but they got some sort of black guy, and his fucking black accent is so New York and fake.
	And then John in the Morning comes on at 10 a.m. when everyone's already at work.
	And they did that to appease Black Lives Matter.
	Can you imagine a rap station after a white kid got shot having a country morning with Yee-Ha in the morning on fucking Hot 97?
	Right.
	It's infuriating.
	And no one will ever write about it or report on it because it sounds racist.
	Mm-hmm.
	Mm-hmm.
	Uh-huh.
	Uh-huh.
	Look him up.
	See if you can.
	Hey, man, that's racist, man.
	Oh, his accent is infuriating.
	That was a child called Quest here on KXP.
	The morning show?
	No, that's John Richards.
	It's not 7 a.m.
	They haven't even Gabriel Teodros?
	No, no, no.
	They haven't updated their schedule yet.
	It's some dude.
	Well, that's Thursday.
	Maybe it's different days here.
	No, they've...
	Look, John Richards is still listed as 7 to 10.
	That's not true.
	He starts at 10.
	John in the morning starts at 10.
	Sons of bitches.
	So not only did they fuck us, they haven't updated their stupid schedule.
	All right, let's take some calls.
	All right.
	We got Jason.
	Voorhees?
	That's not funny.
	Okay.
	Okay, let me make sure they can hear us.
	Okay, there we go.
	Jason, you're online.
	You're online, motherfucker.
	Okay.
	Uh does your thing not work?
	Let's see.
	Uh I muted him for a second, so I didn't hang up.
	Uh good morning, it says 608.
	You're online.
	Sounds like your equipment isn't working, right?
	Oh, okay, okay, I got it.
	What was happening there?
	It disconnected the call.
	There we go, okay.
	So go back to the first guy.
	Yes.
	No giveaways this week, right?
	Unfortunately.
	I'm giving away my virginity to the first guy.
	Oh, God.
	Please re-enter your six digits.
	Please re-enter my digits.
	Alright.
	Hang up and try again.
	Hang up and try again.
	Wow.
	Sounds like your system sucks shit.
	Welcome, post.
	Okay, man.
	Manage your callers.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.
	I know.
	Yes, I know.
	Okay, Jason, you're on the line.
	Hey, what's up?
	Hey, man, how you doing?
	Doing good.
	I wanted to tell you the what you're saying, like, running off.
	It's running defense.
	It's running interference.
	Oh, yeah.
	You're right.
	Thanks for calling.
	Exactly.
	Yeah.
	Great call.
	I've actually made that mistake a few times.
	Maybe it's my lack of football knowledge.
	We got...
	Good morning, 608.
	Hello?
	How's it going?
	Hey.
	What's up?
	Sorry, I'm echoing on my end.
	Okay.
	That's annoying.
	Anyway, have you guys, do you guys know who Wurzelroot is?
	Who?
	Wurzelroot.
	Wurzelroot.
	Yeah, I've heard of him.
	Wurzelroot.
	That sounds vaguely familiar, but not really.
	Why?
	So he's this young TikToker.
	He's pretty famous in the last couple months.
	He's America First.
	Anyhow, he was on Good Morning Groiker, not last Friday, but the Friday before.
	And he was recently banned off TikTok.
	In fact, so he went on Good Morning Groeker with Nick Buntus.
	It's Nick Buntus' Friday morning show.
	And they had an interview, and then like maybe an hour or two after that, he was hardware banned off of TikTok.
	And so he can't even open up a new account on TikTok on his phone just because of the interview.
	Oh, I know.
	This is the guy with the Boston accent who just says totally rational, normal things.
	And it's always sort of interrogative.
	He's always like, I don't get it.
	I don't get how you can do this, blah, blah, blah, and you can't do that.
	It's never like, we need to get these chinks back in China.
	Yeah, totally.
	I was just wondering if you guys would be interested in him on your site.
	Definitely.
	Absolutely.
	I love that guy.
	He's great.
	He's very normal.
	He's not controversial.
	This is like Michael Knowles all over again.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	This is another totally normal dude who says normal shit.
	I get people getting banned.
	I'm against people getting banned for anything.
	But I understand it if they're like, you know, the Holocaust didn't happen and blacks need to go back to Africa.
	That person should have a right to speak as far as I'm concerned.
	But I understand you don't want that on your platform, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	I get it.
	But that never is the case.
	It's always a guy going, I don't get how they can have a bunch of different genders.
	And then at the same time, they talk about LGBT when the B is bisexual.
	That's two.
	So don't they got to change the B?
	It'll be something like that.
	Go back to one of his videos.
	I made a very unflattering picture of Ryan there.
	Oh my God.
	I don't think I look like a Mayan calendar.
	Go to one of his videos.
	The most dangerous people to America are not the communists.
	They're not globalist transnational corporations.
	The most dangerous person is the comfortable average American.
	Here's a quote that everyone's already heard.
	All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.
	But why do good men do nothing?
	The Founding Fathers considered it impossible for tyranny to come to America because they knew for tyranny to be established, it would have to be decades and decades of continual tyrannical policies being enacted.
	There would be so many red flags that the patriotic American would not simply sit in place as a prison is constructed around him brick by brick.
	But we did.
	Because right now there are millions of Americans who know right from wrong, who know that America's being turned on its head.
	But how bad can things really be when I'm making so much money?
	I can come home every night and eat a steak.
	I can have a beer and watch the football game.
	Live in a $300,000 house.
	Eat sugary garbage until I'm 500 pounds.
	And if ever things are too unbearable, I'll just pop a pill and feel better.
	There's a new Marvel movie coming out.
	We've been entranced by petty materialism.
	What was the price?
	Our freedom, our souls.
	How is that controversial?
	It's not.
	Like, if you go to school, your teacher should say that.
	Yeah.
	Or if you go to church, your preacher should say that.
	And you go, that was a normal sermon, not remotely controversial.
	Am I?
	Maybe I'm becoming radical.
	No.
	That did not sound like, obviously, I'm hard to offend, but I was putting my Karen brain on.
	Sure.
	And I was taking that speech he just said and applying it to like a liberal in New York City on the Upper East Side.
	Is she offended by that?
	Is a ball, a boomer-angry woman liberal offended by that?
	Kenefortenis.
	Hey, Ryan.
	Hey, Kevin.
	Hi.
	Hi.
	Hey, first, I wanted to tell you that I had a dream that I called in to tell you that I had a dream, and you asked me if it was called care.
	I'm even funny in your dreams.
	You know, I had a dream too.
	I had a dream that people would be judged by the content of their character and not the color of their skin.
	Hey.
	You're cool.
	I don't know how old that is anymore, but yeah.
	What's up?
	You know how you love women and women are magic and make babies and all that?
	Yep.
	Okay, you know how you figured out that there's a lot of women that watch the show?
	Yeah.
	Well, I was wondering if you could do just one show maybe that was a little bit more catered to women.
	Like, it wouldn't have to be like kittens or recipes or anything, but maybe like you always talk about your home movies where you sound like really faggy because you have a British accent or something.
	And like your mom, we would love to hear from your mom.
	Mother's Day special.
	You want to hear about when she was date raped?
	Yeah.
	Did you hear that story?
	It's funny that you say that because...
	I said it on the show.
	The other day she told me, I was date raped in Germany and your father blamed it on me and I'll never forgive him for that.
	And I was like, what?
	And then it turns out she got really drunk at a wine testing thing in Stuttgart and she thinks they put something in her drink.
	And then I go, so were you raped?
	She goes, no, no, no, that's just what they call it.
	What?
	Well, you know, the final video is, you know, maybe if it didn't have defecating or killing or fighting.
	We like racism, so that can stay.
	Okay, you know, I'm guest hosting Anthony's show on Wednesday.
	Oh, cool.
	Next week, he's going to be in Austin.
	Maybe I'll make that the chick show.
	Nice.
	Oh, that'd be great.
	Yeah, we'll have like cooking tips and we'll have chicks on and housewives and we'll talk about kids being cute and stuff.
	I'll dress in drag.
	Oh, that'd be great.
	I sound like I'm being sarcastic, but I'm not.
	Drink wine.
	Pardon me?
	I sound like I'm being sarcastic, but I'm not.
	I'm serious.
	Oh, no, I know.
	I know that you're not.
	Oh, and last thing.
	I don't mind the swearing, but maybe for that show, you wouldn't do any blaspheming?
	Any blaspheming?
	Oh, I see.
	Oh, Jesus Christ.
	We're talking about fucking blaspheming now?
	God in heaven.
	Oh, for fuck's sakes.
	Christ on the cross.
	Okay.
	Imagine yet another example of the two-thing curse.
	The one thing is always good.
	You should do a chick show.
	Great idea.
	And then second, no blaspheming.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Keep it to one for your own good.
	I've never heard a two-thing be good.
	Hey, man, I just want to say that you should check out that dude who got canceled.
	He has great videos.
	He's got a Boston accent.
	He should get on the network.
	Yeah, okay, that sounds good.
	Oh, one more thing.
	I like to fuck kids.
	Right.
	Weird thing is that was actually the third thing.
	The first thing was the dream.
	The second thing was the woman with that.
	So it's kind of the dream.
	Okay, that's like the prelude.
	That was just a silly, like, funny comment.
	Imagine doing a show without cursing.
	Oh, that's the CRTV.
	Fucking nightmare I was getting divorced.
	Oh, my God.
	Because I had so many fucking squatters in my bed.
	The dog, two boys, and the wife.
	And I thought, there's no sense in trying to squeeze into this.
	I'm just going to be kicked all night.
	So I slept in the guest room, and maybe my brain was like, why are you in the guest room, dude?
	You're getting dumped.
	So then I had this nightmare that my mother-in-law had convinced my wife to dump me.
	And then my dad was like, be a man, don't cry.
	I had like a duffel bag and I was going to move into an apartment.
	It sucked.
	What are you going to do?
	And then I told my wife, and what a wife should have done when you said, I have a nightmare where we're divorced.
	You should blow your husband if he says that.
	Just immediately.
	Immediately.
	I've had like a four-hour traumatic experience about us splitting up.
	And it was her fault.
	Did not get a beach.
	She should give the beach and then say this.
	Holy, get what you fucking deserve.
	And she's holding on to your thighs as I'm coming.
	Gabriel.
	Hey, McKinney.
	Hey, what's up?
	You there?
	I'm there.
	How you doing?
	Hey, buddy, I'm good.
	So I have one thing and one thing only.
	Do you know the quote about the jellyfish that you love to talk about?
	It's a jellyfish.
	Okay, so I have one that's even worse, and it's going to absolutely ruin your day.
	You ready for this?
	Yeah.
	Tony Soprano never once, not one single time.
	I have watched the show three times in the last 365 days.
	Not one time does he say the words difficult situation.
	Correct.
	Can I ruin your day?
	Do what?
	Can I ruin your day?
	Go for it.
	We have discussed this approximately 840 times, gone over it in nuanced ways.
	We found him saying situation, him saying difficult.
	You're bringing up the most ancient Chinese secret on earth.
	He said sensitive situation.
	But thank you very much for your call.
	That was fantastic.
	That was great.
	Ancient Chinese secret.
	Jesus H. Christ.
	Why don't you ask me how I came to be on Kenny vs.
	Spenny?
	If I've ever heard of Tom McDonald, and why are we building a studio when we're moving?
	It's a very difficult situation.
	Yeah, it comes from that, comes from Anthony repeating that.
	Yeah.
	That's the origin.
	Yeah.
	And also, who cares?
	Mark of the beast.
	Mark Hale.
	Hey, it's Matt, but it's a dog.
	I'm sorry.
	Oh, man.
	That's.
	I'm sorry about that, Matt.
	Anyway, I'm just making up for all the people that had to be.
	Okay, go ahead.
	You can do it.
	Come on, buddy.
	This isn't going great.
	I know what he was going to say.
	What?
	It's in the right up here.
	There's a new video out of a different angle of that crazy car chase that you guys showed last week.
	I wanted to show it to the world.
	Now, I hope.
	Okay, there's a different...
	Same angle.
	We saw that angle.
	Right.
	How come no one talks about how it's South Africa, too?
	I was just like, there was a random car chase.
	Yeah.
	Hello, can you hear us?
	Yes.
	Well, can we see this new angle?
	Here we go.
	Sir, can you speak?
	Are you okay, dude?
	Yeah, I'm actually worried.
	It's the front of the car, right?
	Hey, get rid of me.
	Get rid of me.
	This is what I've always wanted to see.
	All right, thanks for calling.
	Where the fuck are they shooting from?
	The road?
	Shoot the boar.
	Shoot to kill.
	Eat the poo.
	Dude, he should have macked that fucking dude.
	Fucking knows in South Africa today, maybe you get charged with murder.
	Right.
	A racist car accident happened today.
	There was a racist boar who killed an innocent blick.
	Blick.
	An innocent kifa.
	So now they're pulling in front of him.
	So he doesn't want to catch up to them.
	Thank you, caller.
	Wait, is this the same?
	They're not putting back.
	Because the white truck starts the whole thing.
	That's where.
	Now, somebody claimed they had an extended version.
	It's just them chilling before this all happened.
	So it's not really.
	I want to see the media he was stuck on, where he gave up.
	Right.
	Dude, that was a...
	How many of these videos stop too soon?
	Vittoria Heist.
	Those guys survived, by the way.
	You know that?
	Would they ever give an update?
	Oh, I assume they did.
	They did, yeah.
	And they ran away when they saw his balls of steel.
	That's awesome.
	That guy is a real man.
	Real man.
	He is very good.
	He does not eat the poopo.
	He's not gay.
	No.
	You just showed the screen and everyone's phone number, by the way, genius.
	Well, I guess the NT for that watched the show will call them and have to be blocked.
	I'll edit that out.
	815, socialist.
	You're on the line.
	Mark.
	Hey, so I just want to mention, isn't it crazy we live in a time when self-proclaimed socialists want there to be a vaccine that is unregulated used by every single person in the country and it's like funded you know it's by a private company I mean I butchered how I wanted to say that but you know like it doesn't make sense to me like there's such a break in in what they say they want and
	weird man at the gym i was looking at fox news and they're like this is great 4 million dollar home yeah that's the problem with the right for anyone's dog for a bone so kanye goes i I don't hate you guys.
	And they go, we love Kanye.
	And as Ben Shapiro goes, live by the Kanye, die by the Kanye.
	That's hilarious.
	Caitlin Jenner is sitting there going, I think it's wrong for biological males to compete in women Olympics.
	Okay.
	Well, you're a woman who competed as a male in the Olympics and won.
	Does that mean that you should get more than the medal you got?
	Caitlin Gender.
	Look, if you look at the ad for this, Sean Hannity has on so much more makeup.
	More makeup than her.
	And it's funny, it's ironic that he's getting all this attention, Bruce Jenner.
	Because this is why he did all this.
	Because he saw Kim Kardashian getting all the attention.
	He thought, I want to be an attention whore too.
	And he got it.
	Now they're like, all right, let's hear you out.
	You killed someone in the car and you have tits.
	You murdered someone.
	And you murdered Bruce Jenner too while you were at it.
	Yeah, you murdered Bruce Jenner.
	He was a hunk.
	I haven't seen Bruce Jenner in a long time.
	It's a fucking dude, man.
	That's a Hunkosaurus Rex.
	Hell yeah.
	Yum.
	I'd go to Jurassic Park to see that exhibit.
	I'd fucking kill my whole family on Christmas Day just to suck his balls.
	I would just lay under his dripping, sweaty clock and then just hope that I would.
	I would shoot myself in the head just to have him jizz on my corpse.
	That's how hot he is.
	You know, that's a little exaggerating.
	I'm not exaggerating.
	You know what that picture and us saying that is going to look like that's what we're talking about.
	That's the campaign.
	I'm moving on.
	Yeah, that was the scariest thing I've ever thought.
	It was the scariest thing I ever thought.
	That's all true.
	It is true.
	Do you have hot potatoes in your mouth?
	Absolutely.
	Yeah, he has hot patio talks.
	Did Bruce Jenner talk like that?
	I never really paid attention to keeping up with the Kardashians.
	I don't think so.
	But this whole like, hot dog potato was the hottest potato ever put in my mouth.
	It's good, but it's hot.
	Sometimes you gotta suck in the air.
	It's like blowing on it, but it's in your mouth.
	Yeah, I was in a car accident and I killed somebody.
	But I managed to get away with it because I'm a chick now.
	It's called female privilege.
	Carolina Reaper or Ghost Reaper?
	Yeah, I should try it sometime.
	I was on my phone.
	Was that just you?
	Or was that like a mix of...
	I burped.
	Okay, gotcha.
	I'm trying to look for an interview here.
	Bruce Jenner interview?
	Oh, here we go.
	These are all E-on.
	Bruce Trenner.
	I don't talk like Caitlin Jenner.
	That'd be funny.
	I've never, I have no recollection of Bruce Jenner talking.
	That would be great if he was like, basically what I'm trying to do with the Olympics is just fucking keep kicking ass, taking names, motherfucker.
	There's one of him as a dude.
	Let's hear that, Johnny Carson.
	All right.
	So you won the Olympics.
	You know what?
	I can't do impressions, so what I do is I wait for you to do it, and then I just mimic whatever you said.
	One of the cash flows.
	The farmer said we had nothing to do with it, so he gave them to us.
	Arnold and Zephyr.
	Arnold and Zephyr.
	Arnold and Zephyr.
	They're very nice.
	They lasted only a couple of weeks.
	One, unfortunately, didn't make it.
	I'm sorry.
	Totally normal human being was rather a weird thing.
	So he adopted this weird sort of a, it's almost like an ant culture Connecticut thing.
	That's considered like a very upper class American old money.
	There's a girl on Fox News who does it, even though she's from the Midwest.
	She does an ant culture.
	I'm from Connecticut, yeah.
	Oh, Sammy.
	Oh, hi.
	It's like a transatlantic accent with a slight lisp.
	That's not your voice, dude.
	Yeah.
	What are you doing?
	You done some weird shit, nigga.
	That ain't your voice, motherfucker.
	That ain't your tits.
	You want to know the life of a male?
	What, honey?
	This is the life of a male.
	Briefly, quickly.
	You met this wonderful woman, the love of your life.
	You get married.
	And of course, you wind up having children.
	And of course, you wind up having little girls.
	And these little girls are the best things that's ever happened to you in your life.
	I mean, it is.
	And then they marry a month.
	And then they marry blacks.
	And you lose your mind.
	These little girls are best.
	And you're like, I'm going to be a woman.
	How's that feel, bitch?
	Yeah, who's laughing now?
	Is that what they did for revenge?
	Oh, you want to torment me?
	You want to give me nightmares?
	How's this for nightmares?
	Hello.
	I'm alright.
	They want to hug you.
	I mean, it's just that they adore you, look up to you, yeah.
	Then they hit about 12.
	And then, you know, the hormones hit, right?
	And it just, like, you just don't know what's going on.
	And then your hormones hit.
	Every day you walk downstairs, it's like a new experience.
	I remember one day, Courtney.
	So bizarre.
	She's like 14 years old.
	What a weird voice.
	Like, I understand you're choosing this voice.
	Hi, my name is Kavina.
	I'm a lady now.
	That sort of makes sense.
	I mean, it's silly, but I get it.
	But to be like, well, my name is Clinton, and I'm from 1936.
	I'm in an old black and white movie.
	And I'm from Connecticut.
	Bela!
	What are you?
	Sounds like Larry Flint, for real.
	I'm Terredo.
	The French.
	Jurassic trans.
	Oh, Paul Michelle.
	The scary thing I ever heard.
	California saw that.
	I thought I would get you one.
	Hannity supports Caitlin.
	He's not allowed to.
	He's on the news, okay?
	Recalled Gavin.
	Paul Newsom.
	By the way, I support the recall.
	Let me be very clear.
	You know, it's amazing when you think about it.
	Your big hands.
	I just have such respect for athletes.
	You know, you didn't win the gold in 72.
	You came back in 72 and you won the gold.
	A great Olympian, a great champion.
	Imagine that hand on your dick.
	Oof.
	Your dick wouldn't even make it out the knuckles.
	Anybody's franillum is in danger with that hand.
	Oh, Jesus.
	You really.
	I'm eating too hard.
	It's going to pop.
	Say, politics is a boppy.
	Oh, yeah.
	You're going to pop, all right.
	Pop all over my tent.
	I'll call you papa.
	What?
	This is hard.
	It was not an easy decision.
	It took an awfully long time.
	I've always been involved in politics for the LGBT community.
	I used to go back.
	But in 1973, I graduated from college in Iowa.
	Who is the person?
	The person you chose to be?
	Do they have a background?
	I guess not.
	I was born in Stanford.
	Country.
	Everything I owned in the back seat.
	We used to take a train to New York City every year.
	Golden State.
	Is he trying to be Ann Coulter?
	Maybe.
	It's a rare accent, that Connecticut.
	Yeah, upper-class accent.
	He probably watched tons of Ann, and he slowly started going, that's kind of my thing.
	I'm Ann Coulter.
	Back in 1976.
	Anyway, that's an alphabet.
	Fucking freak.
	Like, nice guy, but like, you know, don't say the political freak.
	Okay.
	Bizarre freak who ruined his fucking family's life.
	Not voting for that guy.
	Justin.
	Hey, guys, how are you tonight?
	Good, man.
	What's up?
	Good, man.
	Hey, normally I would ask you about Howard Stern, but since the show is just so unbelievably boring, just what you're talking about.
	Howard's out the chat function on your website.
	Wait, are you saying our show is boring or Howard's Cern is boring?
	No, on your forum on censored.tv.
	No, no, not the forum.
	Wait, no, which show is boring?
	Oh, oh, oh, Howard Stern.
	Jesus.
	I saw Sleepless 2.
	It's like audio ambient.
	But you got to stop calling what Howard every week.
	I'm sorry.
	It's kind of hard to hear you.
	What'd you say?
	You got to stop calling what Howard every week.
	Oh, well, that's how I kind of found you.
	It was like through the Howard Stern form.
	So I thought you were like, I thought that was like, I mean, I like all the other stuff you talk about, but I don't know.
	It's like the one thing that kind of brought me to your show.
	Okay, let me ask you one thing before we abandon this stuff.
	Do you think Howard got the vaccine?
	Oh, most definitely.
	Like, if you remember, like, two, three weeks ago, remember he was like complaining about how sick he was and how he wasn't feeling good.
	And then it coincided with the same week his old lady was like texting about pictures in Florida.
	And then he had Dr. Agus on and was like, tell her that she's going to get it, even though she's walking with the mask.
	And he was like, Howard, man, like if she's vaccinated, she doesn't really have to wear the mask.
	He's like, I don't believe what you have to say.
	And it's like, you've had him on for like a second.
	I'm not sure I believe he's vaccinated, but I'm open to that.
	You sound like you have more evidence.
	He'd be mentioning it.
	What's your question?
	No question.
	I just want to say that the chat function, the live chat function on your website is pretty rad.
	It's better than Reddit or Twitter, just like live chatting about the show.
	So yeah, that's all I wanted to say.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	You said that last week.
	I still can't get on it.
	Yeah, no, that's why I think he was trying to help us here.
	I can't get on it.
	But what you'll see is...
	Why is your IQ not high enough to log into your own site?
	I think maybe the tech IQ is.
	I'm obviously not going to log into it.
	My credentials are ready, so maybe I'm in the system, but I don't know my login.
	But you should just be able to get in on it as any regular guy like Ryan Rivera, not an employee's how.
	Yes, yes, no.
	You're right.
	Why can't you just get on the normal chat?
	I'm trying.
	But why is you were trying this last week?
	I feel.
	Ryan Rivera deals in weeks at a time.
	Look at this.
	Hey, can you make me a grilled cheese?
	Yeah, I'm getting there.
	I got the bread last week.
	I'm getting some cheese tomorrow.
	So we should have it by maybe 2022.
	So listen, on the bottom of any page that you're on Center TV, that Rocket logo right there, you're going to want to go ahead and click that.
	Okay, you click it.
	Okay, now it'll take you somewhere and sexy.
	And then you log in, you know, like if you're a regular person.
	Okay, anyway, we'll do that another time.
	And you register.
	Okay.
	A regular person?
	British Phil.
	Good luck, guys.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	I have a question, Gav.
	Okay.
	Can you guys hear me?
	Yeah, why are you British Phil?
	You sound very American.
	No, I'm talking about...
	I wanted to ask you about a British filmmaker.
	I was kind of going nuts trying to find it.
	You mentioned a British filmmaker on your show once.
	It was this movie I think about like teenagers.
	Mike Lee Career Girls.
	Mike Lee Career Girls.
	And Lee is spelled L-E-I-G-H.
	Secrets and Lies is great.
	Mr. Turner is great.
	Lots of great movies by Mike Lee.
	Okay, yeah.
	Okay, that's it.
	That was all I was calling.
	L-E-G-H.
	Thanks for calling.
	Toodaloo, motherfucker.
	Toodaloo, motherfucker.
	That'd be a good drop.
	Yeah, we got to get that drop.
	Absolutely.
	Chris, Detective Shitty's failure to know about the check.
	Or the chat, maybe?
	Yeah, I kind of feel like I'm beating a dead horse here because that last guy, I think it was the same dude who told us about the chat last week, chat.censored.tv.
	But I did sign up for it and it's fucking awesome.
	So I was going to ask how come you don't know how to get onto it.
	But since you guys have already talked about that tonight, I guess I'll just ask Gavin, you know, when you get this new studio up and run in or, you know, move down to Tennessee or wherever you're going, if you're going to be hiring at all, because I feel like I could run all of Ryan's equipment better than he does.
	Yes, as soon as I fire him, you're first on the list.
	We're doing a cool impression there.
	Hell yeah.
	Can you do a funny impression?
	Who do you want to hear?
	The guy from Bar Rescue.
	Shut it down.
	Jake, what's his name?
	John Tapper?
	John Taffer.
	Taffer.
	The only time I've ever heard that guy is when you guys are doing his impression.
	You get anything?
	I'm not good I'll be, but it's like, shut it down.
	Get rid of it.
	That was amazing.
	Way better.
	It was not good.
	That was great.
	That was not good.
	Next caller, thank you for calling.
	Blowing smoke up his poor ass.
	Shut it down.
	Get rid of it.
	You sound like Bruce Jenner before you became Caleb.
	How about I've never heard, I've never really heard Bruce Jenner before.
	I mean, I'm sure I have, but I never really registered it, obviously.
	But he's on a talk show.
	You know, the thing about being a dad is you have girls and everything's great.
	They're the biggest gift in the world.
	Then they hit the age 12.
	And puberty starts and they become quite a handful.
	Got you.
	That's a normal guy talking.
	And then, sorry, I'm late, baby.
	Like, what?
	Where did he get that from?
	Oh, I've been all around and doing all kinds of things with my baby.
	Oh, yes.
	Well, the thing about being a woman, you know, you have to water your it's so random.
	Like, you might as well be Ivanka.
	Hello, I'm a lady now, and I'm also from Eastern Europe.
	I'm Hungarian, darling.
	Hello.
	You might as well do that.
	And I suspect gays, when they be really gay, like Eugene Levy's son, he's like, hi.
	Oh, my God.
	Ew gross.
	That's like whatever, you guys.
	That's why dads get bummed out when their kids are gay.
	They don't get bummed out if their kids are Chadwick Moore, who does talk a little gay.
	But the dick sucking, cock sucking, like, you know, your daughter is going to get fucked up the ass at some point.
	You're not nuts about it, but you don't toss and turn all night.
	You're like, it's up to her.
	I hope she's okay.
	But if your daughter was all of a sudden one day to be like, hello, darling, I'm now Hungarian and I'm loving it.
	I love coming to America because you have televisions and so much new technology.
	I bought an iPhone here.
	You'd be like, what are you talking about, honey?
	Stop it.
	And that's what gay sons do.
	Hi, daddy.
	Oh, my God.
	I love you.
	Stop.
	Being a Hungarian is better than being a Targaryen or a Rastafarian.
	Caitlin Jenner's fake voice is why dads are mad at gays.
	Because their son grew up, probably, I'm sure there's effeminate like seven-year-olds who love Broadway, but most seven-year-olds are just like, hey, dad, I love Spider-Man.
	And then one day he's like, oh, my God, Spider-Man?
	Whatever?
	And you go, ah, gross.
	Stop.
	You can suck a dick privately in your bedroom.
	I don't want to hear about it, but can you not go like whatever and put your hands up like that?
	We got who this?
	Robots 682.
	I hate robots.
	Sure do.
	Hello, can you hear me?
	Yeah.
	Is this Nardwire?
	Hello.
	Hello.
	No, I just wanted to talk to you about robots.
	I keep on seeing these fake robot videos all the time, and I feel like I'm going crazy.
	If you just go on YouTube, you see just tons of them.
	I know, hey, it's infuriating because it's never going to be a thing.
	It's just crazy.
	It's like my friends that I think are intelligent just all for this constantly.
	And you really open my eyes to it.
	Thanks, buddy.
	Yeah.
	Like, they go, one day robots will be serving us drinks.
	And you're like, the robot that could serve you a drink, even in 100 years, is going to be like $90 million.
	So no, you can get a fucking illegal to do it for $30,000 a year.
	Well, that's really all I had to say.
	Big fucking CS.
	Big fucking dance.
	Thanks for calling.
	Should have cut him off earlier.
	I wrecked the bit.
	Danny Starr.
	What's up, DSA?
	No.
	DS.
	Dude, so, Gab, I saw the gnarly.
	You and Cumio were talking about the Starlink satellites on your last episode.
	And I was out at a little forest party with my buddies, and the fucking satellites came over us.
	We're all tripping on shrooms.
	We had no idea what they were.
	It looked like God fell asleep with his thumb on the period bar because they were just going all across the sky in a perfectly straight line, like 60 of them.
	Absolutely insane.
	And it got me thinking, you know, Western man, we're the fucking pinnacle of society right now.
	To be able to blast those satellites across the sky like that.
	All the engineering and the math and just the paperwork behind it.
	It's absolutely insane.
	Well, people say Africa is behind us, but they'll eventually get there.
	And you're like, will Africa have a terabyte on their own in 100 years?
	Like, will they ever put up one satellite that can do anything?
	I don't, like, in 100 years, 200 years, I don't see it.
	It's a little irking because why does Western Man get so much shit?
	But you look around, even right now, I'm driving down the highway, I'm looking at power lines.
	Everything around us in the modern world, it gets overlooked, but it comes from Western Man.
	And the funny thing about Western Man is he survived the Siberian winters.
	He moved across, he went west, he went to North America, Europe, and everything.
	And he said, when he got there, he said, you know what?
	Everyone's invited.
	Come on in.
	Do your best.
	Respect my heritage.
	Respect Christianity and everything.
	And then don't hurt anyone.
	But you're in, and then the reputation becomes: you guys are the biggest assholes in the world, you're the biggest liars, colonizers, you ruined the world.
	And you go, I'm actually winning, and I invited you to my party.
	I invited you to my mansion for a party where Madonna is playing and Tony Hawk is doing tricks, and there's free booze.
	And they're like, fuck Tony Hawk.
	You guys must have been shitting your absolute pants when you started seeing satellites on shrooms.
	Yeah, dude, I thought it was an alien invasion at first.
	It was one of the craziest things that I've ever seen.
	It was a perfectly straight line.
	And finally, someone knew what they were, so we looked over and that reassured us.
	But the whole rest of the night, I was just thinking about how amazing, you know, Elon Musk is, SpaceX, just these brilliant minds that are putting those through.
	But yeah, you're right.
	It was fucking insane, Gavin.
	Oh, my God.
	I think eventually they're going to start spelling stuff out in the sky and having commercials with satellites and stuff.
	Yeah, why not?
	It's sitting there.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling, buddy.
	Yeah, you know, one time I was on shrooms in high school, and I was lying down, and we were looking at the sky, and this is in my book, actually.
	And I was seeing these hexagons, all like a honeycomb of hexagons, all work like cogs, which doesn't make sense.
	That's not cogs have to go like this.
	There needs to be space.
	You can't have a pattern of hexagons all interlocking and rotating, but they were and not bumping each other at all.
	And then I talk to the guy I'm with.
	He sees it too.
	He sees the same fucking thing.
	Yep.
	And I've heard of that before.
	I do not understand that.
	I experienced it too.
	It says shared hallucination.
	Shared hallucination.
	That's going on my I don't get list.
	Shared.
	I had that on ayahuasca.
	And we didn't talk about it till the morning.
	And we all recalled the same thing where there was diamonds in the sky.
	First, it was a clear sky.
	There were diamonds in the sky.
	And then there was, and we had to find your line.
	How do we have...
	I get the wall.
	You know, the wall is breathing.
	I figured that out.
	How's that?
	You're breathing.
	So your perspective is changing, but your brain has figured out how to counteract the...
	You're moving all the time.
	So they're like, I'll just zoom in and zoom out and reverse whatever you're seeing.
	So now the wall, but when you're on shrooms or acid or whatever, hallucinogens, you lose that ability.
	And now you're breathing in and out.
	And the walls appear to be moving in and out.
	Oh, I see what you're doing.
	That makes sense.
	That makes sense.
	One time we were at a party, and there was these guys who got way higher than us.
	So they became the, you know the garbage compactor in Star Wars?
	Yes.
	Where they're getting crunched?
	So they were at Steve's house, Steve's Layer, the guy who wrote Find Your Line.
	Yeah.
	And they were in the sort of mud room, which was kind of long at his house.
	It was kind of strange.
	And so it had coats and shit and muddy boots and stuff.
	And they all were there on the floor going, ah!
	And then we had a sliding door that shut them off.
	And we'd occasionally open the door and throw them bread.
	We'd say she's bread.
	And they're like, ah!
	And then we'd close the door again.
	It was like we had pet aliens.
	And then the craziest thing about that fucking night was it was Halloween in the suburbs.
	And Steve, there'd be like bing bong and Steve would go, you.
	And you'd go, what the fuck?
	Yeah.
	Oh my God, oh my God.
	So you'd go to the door and there wouldn't be a kid dressed as a bee.
	There'd be a bee.
	There wouldn't be a kid dressed as a vampire.
	There'd be a tiny vampire.
	That wants candy.
	And then you'd go, oh my God.
	And then the dad would be like, hi.
	And you'd go, what the, whoa.
	And then you would just like throw like 40 bucks of candy at them.
	And I remember the kid just crying like, thanks, mister.
	Thanks, God.
	Wow.
	And the dad went, wow, these guys are very generous.
	One of those, those guys were partying the other night.
	Steve just had a party.
	No shit.
	And he sent me a picture.
	I'm talking about a story from 1986.
	Yeah.
	And here we are today.
	It's coming up.
	Don't get nervous.
	Don't cry.
	Kind of makes me want to do shrews, but I don't think I'll ever do hallucinogens again.
	Dude, when you have taxes to pay.
	Problems at all.
	Problems.
	Like when we were 16, you could kill my parents and it'd be like, they had a good run.
	Like you had zero problems.
	Now you can get sued.
	You can get fucking...
	I won't even say the list because I don't want to inspire anyone out there to do all the things.
	But yeah, these are the guys.
	Fucking how many years later?
	What's 2021 minus 1984?
	86?
	Oh, my dad would kill me for New York.
	2021.
	2023.
	Holy shiznit.
	Shickety Shazz.
	What's this now?
	This is trippy.
	Keep staring at the black dot in the center of the image, and I'll explain how your brain lies to you and constantly makes things up.
	As you keep focusing on the black dot, the cone cells in your retina become desensitized to the colors you can see and tones down the oranges and purples and it will tone up the colours that are complementary to these.
	So when I change the image to black and white, your brain fills in the gaps with these complementary colors to maintain the normality.
	What?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Isn't that bogus?
	Yeah.
	Do you swear to God?
	Yeah, look at it.
	As you keep focusing on the black.
	Just look at the color.
	I'll look at the orange now.
	So you can change to black and white.
	Your brains with these.
	Fucking crazy, right, bro?
	Dude, that's a fucking trip.
	That's how you find your line, bro.
	This is another gay one.
	It's not as good, but you can see true cyan.
	It's a color that's kind of hard to replicate or whatever.
	So you...
	How does it?
	What is it after the audio is over?
	Keep staring at the white dot.
	The video will slowly zoom out on the red circle.
	You see a bright blue cyan color appear.
	Okay.
	This one's, you know what?
	This one's a waste of time.
	Yeah, fuck it.
	Let's do one more call.
	I sent you the picture of those guys from 35 years ago.
	Oh, shit.
	That looks like a fucking time.
	This is my hoser pals.
	Fuck.
	They're still going strong.
	Hey, got the fucking makers on the table, eh?
	So the guy, the bald guy there, that was the guy who said you 35 years ago.
	And then Eric, the guy going like this, Eric DeGras, he put on a scary mask that night.
	And we were all on shrooms, right?
	Like, you're not scared of scary masks at any point, but on shrooms, when you can see every microbe, you're not even remotely scared.
	So he comes out from behind the couch and he goes, oh, and we go, what are you doing, dude?
	And then the funniest thing, we laughed for about an hour.
	He took off the mask and he felt really ashamed and embarrassed.
	And he was like, oh, I guess it didn't work.
	And we were like, you thought you were going to scare us with a plastic mask?
	And we fucking laughed for days and eventually started laughing.
	You know what happened that night?
	This is like three days ago, but 35 years ago, there was a knife on the counter.
	Oh, that's right.
	That same night.
	What the fuck?
	Because we were scared we would pick it up and go, who's going to die tonight?
	So we threw a towel on it.
	And then Steve opened a drawer.
	And then I, with the towel, like, held it and dropped it in the drawer.
	And then he slammed the drawer shut in case we all killed each other.
	Oh, yeah.
	That's how that works.
	One last call.
	Let's go to bed.
	All right.
	Caller number last.
	Wait, Danny?
	Oh, you already got your time, right?
	Yeah.
	Have we already spoken about the time?
	Yeah, he's been on the line.
	Yeah.
	Fallon conspiracy theories.
	Conspiracy theories.
	Conspiracy.
	Hey, guys, what's up?
	Hey, man.
	Hey, you know what would be funny is if you had a segment on your show every once in a while where Ryan did his best to explain conspiracy theories to you.
	Because I can tell he's kind of into them and I can tell you're kind of not.
	I think it'd be kind of funny.
	I don't know.
	All right.
	Thanks.
	Thanks for your call.
	Let's try it right now.
	Okay.
	Ryan, do you want to take one I haven't heard of or I'm not totally familiar with?
	Dinosaurs.
	We did dinosaurs.
	I have an update on Flat Earth.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	No, I just.
	Look at your fucking hair.
	What?
	It looks like when you clean out a brush and then dip it in pubes and then scribble on it.
	That's not a compliment, right?
	Correct.
	Okay.
	So I was watching.
	It looks like a beehive of shit pubes.
	Beehive of shit.
	It looks like very 70s to me.
	To me, this looks great.
	70s.
	Hiding your eyes is so insecure.
	Hide your eyes.
	All right, what's the update on Flat Earth?
	So Matt Andrews, okay?
	He's in our music group.
	He called in, blah, blah, blah.
	He had this, you know, Dave Weiss, we could have him on the show, but basically, one thing that's pretty awesome, and I'll fast forward to it.
	Dave Weiss, who believes in parking in Manhattan for free in the day.
	Oh, wait, well, that's.
	That's the craziest conspiracy theory he has.
	That I don't believe.
	But the path of the earth is beset on all sides by the iniquity.
	No, the path of the sun going around the earth.
	Now, whether you believe in flat earth or not, it is consistent with what we see.
	So the sun goes around this inner circle, and that's summer for the north.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

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