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March 22, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:31:06

S03E88 - AMERICAN RAGE

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	That was Lil Mama and Avril Levine remix.
	One of the cornier videos ever made.
	Lil Mama was everywhere for a while.
	She had the hit lip gloss in 2007.
	Look at that.
	She does graffiti, but it's like previously on the wall.
	So when she's going like that, it's just, yeah.
	Is it done in Photoshop?
	Maybe they're going.
	Are they going for that and I'm just dumb?
	She looks 40.
	Yeah, she's only 30 something.
	And in that video, she's probably 20.
	She's an old jam.
	Yeah, lip gloss was her big hit.
	That was 2007 when she was 18.
	And it's a jam, too.
	I assume she's called Lil Mama because she has a kid as a teen, which is she should be called normal mama if she's from East New York.
	Old Mama.
	Just mama.
	I have something here for you.
	Oh, you had a kid at 18?
	It worked for me.
	So did everyone.
	We should start wearing lip gloss.
	I was thinking about that.
	I was like, why don't guys get to wear lip gloss?
	No, like really thick lip gloss, really shiny.
	So she was a teenager there, but doesn't she look old as hell?
	Yeah, she looks like a 40-year-old.
	Damn, black crack.
	They say black don't crack.
	Look like a crack to me.
	And you know another weird thing with this video is the dancing is very mediocre.
	Yeah, there's nothing exceptional about what she's offering here.
	Yeah.
	Like, I could do this.
	She's not stunning.
	The dancing stinks.
	Look at this guy, the nerd.
	So they have this subplot here where the nerd's getting bullied and he's a nobody, and then he busts.
	That's all he does.
	Yeah.
	What?
	Wait, that's it?
	That's it.
	Go back, go back.
	Oh, wait, he does some swirly whirlies there.
	Why, and I can jump.
	Should work.
	And so we stopped beating him up for that?
	I would think the beatings would increase.
	Yeah, it's time to really beat his ass.
	It's still lagging, Ryan.
	You must have worked all weekend to fix the lagging, right?
	Yeah, I upgraded our systems.
	Did you really?
	No.
	I updated this last week and it's been shitty ever since.
	So you didn't do anything since we last spoke to fix the lagging.
	I could order a new computer, but I'd like to do that together.
	So that way.
	But just answer the question.
	No.
	The reason I brought up Lil Mama is because she wants to start a straights rights organization.
	We seem to be overlapping with black America here on Get Off My Lawn, where we agree that what started as a cool concept, equality for the gays, has evolved into attacking heterosexuals, making them bake cakes for gay weddings.
	What does she say there?
	Can you move it over?
	The screen's still broken.
	And my glasses are broken.
	Yeah, we need a new TV.
	Yeah.
	Y'all fights are to be respected, and some of you, not all, get a kick out of bullying people for having an option, how they dress, how their hair or makeup looks, how much money they have.
	I don't have to prove myself by reminding people, blah, blah, blah.
	So like everything she says about this is just apologies.
	What is your thing?
	Is it like a coalition?
	So what is it, though?
	I don't think she's thought past, I'm about to start this.
	About to start a heterosexual rights room.
	Anti-LGBTQ boy.
	Comic Sans?
	Really?
	Yeah, that's tough.
	Keep going, though.
	Keep going.
	Yeah, so she's just going to start it.
	It's just starting.
	That's all.
	What it is and getting good at it means nothing.
	Front page of the New York Post, back to Cuomo.
	We had Biden.
	Everyone saw him falling up the stairs, right?
	It was embarrassing, but wow.
	It gobbled up my feed for a long ass time.
	I think the best meme I saw, I didn't put it in the notes, was a Donkey Kong one where there's barrels rolling down the stairs and they keep hitting him and then the Donkey Kong is at the top of the thing.
	I didn't realize Mario or Mario, however you're supposed to say it over here, is from Donkey Kong.
	That's the guy doing the jumps.
	Yep.
	What was his name again?
	It was like he's a spin-off.
	Mario and Donkey Kong.
	And yeah, it was a spin-off.
	Yeah.
	Technically.
	Benny Johnson had a spin-off.
	I was just listening to Howard Stern in the car, and he was talking about Cuomo, and he was saying that.
	You just went to Benny Johnson's because you figured he'd have the most?
	He's got a couple.
	Yeah, the Golf Swing one, you saw that.
	Find the Donkey Kong one.
	It's the best one.
	I don't think Benny Johnson put it up.
	Yeah, Kumi did.
	Oh, wait, I just saw it so good.
	There we go.
	This is the winner.
	We don't have to waste your time with all the others.
	This sounds cute.
	But the one I saw at Donkey Kong at the top At the end.
	That I didn't see.
	The golf one is the animation's off.
	It doesn't rebound off his head, right?
	Oh, yeah.
	It gets hidden by the sound effect.
	The timing of the first one's really good.
	But let me get to this.
	So he goes, Yeah, I don't know.
	And he's talking about Rand Paul, how Rand Paul used to be reasonable.
	And now he's criticizing Dr. Fauci, who's given his wife to wife, who's given his life to public service.
	Stern loves to talk about public service, like we don't all hate bureaucrats.
	It's a devotion.
	I hereby devote my life to public.
	It's not a fucking monastery, Howie.
	It's where parasites go to die.
	It's an elephant's graveyard for my bank account.
	Fuck bureaucrats.
	Public service, my ass.
	Fuck them all.
	Except cops environment.
	So he's all mad at Rand Paul for daring to criticize Dr. Fauci.
	And then he goes, and Cuomo, a lot of people ask me about Cuomo.
	I like Cuomo.
	I think he's done a great job.
	And, you know, I'm concerned about some of these allegations, but they'll be investigated and we'll figure it out.
	You know, that's all.
	Which I'm sure he was saying the same thing about Trump and Stormy Daniels and all of Trump's allegations.
	And then he goes, then Stern says, I was in the car like this.
	Then Stern says, but I wish they would focus on, you know, the incredible job he did with COVID.
	And even Robin has to go, well, a lot of people are saying that, you know, that was botched.
	What with the...
	And then he goes, oh, yeah, the nursing homes.
	That little detail.
	That little detail where double the deaths happened that were reported.
	Not 7,000, 16,000.
	That's pretty bad.
	That's 7,000 corpses floating around in the abyss of your dishonesty.
	What's this now?
	I don't know.
	It's going to suck.
	I can just tell.
	I can tell.
	New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo has been doing these press conferences.
	Robin, they're unbelievable.
	I've been living for them.
	Andrew Cuomo is literally leading the country, okay, in this chart.
	It's this awful pandemic right now.
	Every time.
	Pandemic right now.
	He's not Italian.
	Slips in that he's newly single.
	His girlfriend, Sandra Lee, Beth knows I love her.
	She and him broke up.
	She's mad.
	Shut up.
	This is so boring.
	Why'd you go to it?
	Today's book, this is kind of exciting.
	Ryan has managed to pick up a book.
	Oh, yeah.
	Here it is.
	I haven't seen you read a book since I knew you.
	I tried to make you read a book.
	You read about a quarter of it and gave up.
	True.
	That's in four years.
	Maybe more.
	I just asked some advice from a friend, like, how do you read a book?
	Like, I know how to read, but how do you stay comfortable?
	And they're like, well, you lay down or you hold it like that.
	That was part of the problem with me, is like being comfortable.
	But you read most of that on the train.
	Those are plastic hard seats.
	Yeah, but...
	So where does that argument?
	The posture.
	Now I feel like you're a Yabo and I'm a British aristocrat.
	Your neck doesn't do that.
	You gotta hold it like this.
	And yeah, I breezed through a lot of it.
	It's a little history of the world.
	And what does that mean?
	Well, in 1936, this German guy read this book about the world history and he was like, this sucks.
	And they were like, well, why don't you make one in six weeks?
	And he made one in six weeks and it's been translated into like 18 different languages.
	And finally, recently, like before he died, he died when he was 92 recently, he made an English version.
	So this is it.
	It's got a lot of history.
	Pre-biblical times to 2021?
	Yeah, like about 2500 BC to now.
	I'm like 50 pages in.
	It's really good.
	A biblical figure.
	So you must still, are you up to Jesus yet?
	Has he showed up?
	No, still BC.
	It's pretty exciting.
	So you're looking forward to see?
	Yes.
	It'll be fun.
	I had a fun weekend.
	I saw the movie The Doorman by myself, and it is an accomplishment.
	It is the shittiest movie I think I may have ever seen.
	It's so shitty that I'm bringing it up on the show.
	I recommend you watch it with friends.
	You don't want to watch a good movie with friends because, I don't know, you can't talk.
	This movie, talk away.
	And one of the weirdest things about it is they have all these British people and foreigners playing New Yorkers.
	So like the main bad guy is from Norway, but he's pretending to be from New York.
	Then they have, what's his name, the French dude from the professional.
	He's pretty good, but whatever.
	He better be.
	He's been doing this for half a century.
	Like that dude.
	That's the dude from The Bill.
	That British police soap opera.
	Should probably take the garbage out.
	There's flies in the fucking studio.
	That guy.
	So he's British, but he has a New York accent.
	What?
	Why?
	There's not enough old New Yorkers around?
	Old theater rats?
	Whatever you call people who are believing that shit?
	Acting?
	That sounds like a bunch of different things that aren't.
	That's a British guy trying to do a New York accent.
	Which I'd understand if we're in Beijing and you've got to try.
	Remember that SNL sketch where it was all Norwegians being New Yorkers?
	And they're like, you're really pissing me off, man.
	I'm about to punch a hole in the wall.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Was that Fred Armison?
	Fred Armison is definitely his idea.
	Oh, yeah.
	Norwegians played.
	You could just tell when he was there, the sketches were better.
	Replicate the style of American drama.
	So, you better tell us, mister.
	Did you do a crime of making graffiti?
	We found a spray paint in the bin.
	Of course, I did not.
	Don't make me cross.
	I haven't drank my coffee from the donut store yet.
	Well, I suppose you better keep drinking because I have not made any wrong doing that.
	Look how fucked up the New York logo is.
	It's kind of crumpled.
	Oh, copy.
	I was in Britain once, and a guy was wearing that hat.
	And it was actually a dial house at the Crass Farm.
	And I go, dude, you know, where I live in New York, you wear that hat in a Mets area, you'll die.
	And he took it off.
	But we're not there.
	Am I going to kill you?
	But I guess in Britain, like in Glasgow, if you walk into a green bar, that means that there are Celtics fans.
	And if you're wearing blue, you will die.
	Wow.
	So I was jokingly translating that to New York.
	Although, you will get fucking tuned up if you wear a Yankees hat in Boston.
	Anymore?
	I don't know.
	Yes.
	Dude, you'll get tuned up if you exist in Boston.
	I told you about that time.
	I was at a strip club, and I looked through this woman's legs.
	I'm dressed normal, nothing kooky about me.
	I think I have on like a Brooks Brothers shirt and tattoos, whatever.
	And I'm looking through a woman's legs.
	It was a round bar.
	We were actually outside of Boston in, I forget what it's called, but it's just, you know, a suburb of Boston.
	Wooster or some crap.
	Something like that.
	And I'm looking through this woman's legs, totally calm, not drinking a fruity drink or anything.
	And there's a guy looking back at me like, like, you want to go?
	White Knighting from across the bar?
	White Knighting?
	Yeah.
	White Knighting?
	Oh, he wasn't mad that you were looking at the chick?
	He thought you were looking at him?
	Oh, it didn't even occur to me that he would be defending her honor.
	She's naked on a bar at a strip club.
	Yeah, that's a detective shitty strikes again.
	Can you bring up the detective shitty thing?
	Hey, you looking at this girl?
	Hey, stop ogling her.
	Wow.
	You're stunned?
	I'm just taken aback.
	Was he maybe mad that you were looking at the girl at the strip club?
	That's my stripper.
	He didn't want guys looking at her?
	That's my girlfriend, asshole.
	And he was ready to throw down.
	And I'm just like, wow, you guys sure love to brawl.
	I don't know if I could muster up any anger right now.
	But politically, there's such fruits.
	There's such liberal fruits, but they're violent sports fans.
	I don't get it.
	It's so weird.
	I don't get it.
	But yeah, go back to that SNL sketch.
	It's Detective Joe Smith.
	Memorize this name.
	I'm starting to become very cross with you.
	Joe, do you want me to strike him with a knuckle sandwich?
	Mud John.
	I'll just read this newspaper of Le Bell and Using Wade.
	Give me my Marlboro cigarettes, will ya?
	I didn't make a graffiti.
	You'll notice that the writers have painstakingly recreated American dialogue since the moment.
	So go back to the doorman.
	It's that fucking bad.
	That sounds just fine.
	No, go back a little more.
	So once you get back to New York, about a week.
	There's an opening.
	At the apartment building where I'm working.
	Not quite as exciting.
	What is that?
	What is that?
	Holy shit.
	At the apartment building where I'm working.
	That sounds like a bad thing.
	Are you working in an apartment building?
	That's more in Boston.
	It's Irish Boston, not parking.
	Are you going to park your car?
	You're going to take your dog for a walk?
	At the apartment building where I'm working.
	There's an opening at the apartment building where I'm working.
	What is that?
	I had to go to fucking IMDB and look up Uncle Pat to see where he was from because I had no idea.
	That sounds just fine.
	We use the next two days to get you acclimated, get the weekend off, and come back to work on Monday.
	Did you hear that?
	That made it to the trailer?
	I would do some post, whatever they call that, editing, right?
	Overdubbing, yeah.
	Overdub with someone from Yonkers or some shit.
	Hey, you're going to be here, one of the new guys.
	You think you're going to handle that?
	I hope so, because I love it in New York where I was born.
	Man, after 9-1-1, it was really tough.
	I really miss seeing the King Kong on top of the Twin Towers.
	That's gone now.
	Also, Spider-Man is not in the movie with the Twin Towers because they were knocked down by planes on 9-1-1.
	Wow, you got a lot taller, like 200 meters taller than Statue of Liberty.
	Okay, you think you can handle that?
	Go back.
	I'm sorry.
	I have to hear that again.
	That guy.
	I looked him up too.
	Huge Norwegian actor.
	Like, most successful guy in Norway.
	You know what this must be?
	I got it.
	This must be shot in fucking Stuttenflat.
	And they get those benefits of shots.
	So they get those crazy Euro grants.
	But you have to use European actors.
	That's it.
	And Uncle Pat, Britain counts as Europe.
	Norway is obviously European.
	They shot it in Schloopenpluppen.
	And so you get a bit of B-roll, right?
	You get a yellow cab.
	You get the Empire World Chrysler building.
	And then you do the rest in this big fancy Budapest Pilsen Prague Czechoslovakian apartment.
	That's definitely what fucking happened.
	What was that one in the warehouse where it all took place there?
	Oh, that piece of shit with Bruce Willis.
	Yeah, so same thing, right?
	Yeah, where he goes, I served in Prague, in Czechoslovakia, in Chechnya.
	And you're like, wait, Prague is in Czechoslovakia.
	What are you talking about?
	30% discretionary cash rebate.
	That's a lot.
	Yeah.
	Wait, you spend 10 million.
	A lot of them, you spend 10 million, they'll put in 10 million.
	Now you got a $20 million movie.
	So as an investor, you go, yeah, I'm in.
	Because my money doubles the second I write the check.
	That sounds just like we got to hear the other doorman again.
	We'll use the next two days to get you acclimated, get the weekend off, and come back to work on Monday.
	Monday?
	You got to work on Monday?
	You think you can handle that?
	And then the bad guys, of course, show up with their blonde mohawks as one.
	Oh, that guy.
	Hey, what's going on?
	Hey, Who are you?
	I promise our visit would be as brief as humanly possible.
	Yeah, so they got like $10 million of paintings hidden in the wall, and they have to find it and they lock the apartment up.
	But then she is a doorman because Uncle Pat got her the job and she thwarts their attack using lots of roundhouse kicks and fucking jumping and shooting all over that European building.
	It's just a home alone reboot.
	It's a really shitty Bruce Willis movie about Bruce Willis.
	What's a decorated soldier doing here as a doorman?
	Decorated.
	What's she decorated with?
	All name brands?
	Prada outfit?
	Yves St. Laurent.
	Jean-Renault.
	This is the whole movie, by the way.
	You've just seen it.
	You know what?
	When you were saying, like, why don't we come up with a really shitty idea for a movie and just hire nobodies to do it?
	Yeah.
	It's like kind of like that.
	Like, it's...
	I like seeing corny stuff.
	I did a script with Derek Beckles where it would have revolutionized film.
	We had the funding too.
	He moved too slowly on it and they gave up.
	We were like a third of the way into this film.
	And it was called.
	It was called like The Boys or something or Harlem PD.
	So it takes place in Harlem with the Harlem Police Department, HPD.
	Maybe that was in the name, HPD, which of course there is none.
	It's all NYPD.
	And it's about two grizzled old cops who are almost at retirement, me and him.
	And we've grown up in Harlem, but we, no, we get transferred to Harlem, that's it, from the city.
	And the first thing we notice is corruption, but the cops don't want us rocking the boat.
	So now we're against the corrupt gangs and the other HPD who don't want us stopping this money train.
	So it's kind of like Serpico meets falling down without the falling down guy.
	And we just want to retire.
	But we got to solve this problem before we can relax.
	Okay, so it's a pretty classic movie, but we shoot it in Pakistan.
	Yeah, I like this.
	So, and we don't tell them that we're trying to make it shitty.
	We go, do your best.
	So we have like a yellow cab and we have, and there's stupid scenes like a dog getting shot in the head, but by accident.
	And it's really graphic because it's like, and we wouldn't tell anyone.
	I would fucking fight anyone who spilled the beans to any of our staff.
	So they would just be trying their best.
	And we'd have the scene, just like in that SNL scene.
	In fact, I thought of this before the SNL scene.
	And we would have a scene like that where they'd have Afro wigs.
	They'd all be blacks.
	And like, yo, man, you ain't messing with my gravy.
	No.
	Yo, man, you ain't messing with my gravy train, fucking motherfuckers.
	Yeah.
	What are you bugging out right now?
	So this comedy, if you read the script, it wouldn't be a comedy.
	Yeah.
	I was putting the comedy 100% in India, in Pakistan.
	If we can get one of like the guys from the bar to just do British, like it's a British thing, can I show him?
	Sure.
	We showed this before, but just him trying his best British accent.
	British.
	And like he's the main character?
	Oh my god, I would die to see that.
	That would be so.
	Oh, what?
	Are you serious?
	You kidding me?
	Oh, oh, you're filming me now?
	Oh.
	That's Joe the Doofus.
	Hey, man, listen.
	Oh, what?
	You're serious now?
	Oh, what?
	We're doing this?
	Yeah.
	He's the least funny person I've ever met.
	When I wear a Hawaiian shirt, he goes, oh, check it out.
	Gavin's got his shower curtain on again.
	You can't make this stuff up.
	Only here.
	Yeah, you can make up that someone wore a Hawaiian shirt.
	You ever think about just lying to him?
	Like upping the lie, Auntie?
	Yeah, that's a good idea.
	That's fun.
	By the way, speaking of Fred Armison, check out this Portlandia sketch, 5-1.
	This is how prescient Fred is.
	By the way, you know what race Fred Armison is?
	Everything.
	He's every race but black.
	No, no, that's not what I wanted to show.
	52, 5'2.
	Isn't it funny how Portland is literally a joke?
	And the mayor is a joke?
	And then Ted Wheeler's on TV saying, I got punched in the face.
	I don't like Antifa anymore.
	And we go, yeah, you're a joke.
	You're played by the guy from that show.
	Kyle, what's his name?
	Twinwood Peaks, whatever it was called.
	Twin Peaks?
	Twin Peaks.
	Bicycle rights to go right!
	Bicycle ride!
	Bicycle!
	I'm on a bike!
	I'm on a bike!
	I am on a bike.
	You're gonna turn, gonna tell me!
	Watch out, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike!
	Cars, man, why?
	I don't have a driver's license.
	No dear.
	There's a bike lane here.
	Hey, I get this whole lane.
	10 feet wool.
	Oregon State Law at 10 feet.
	Hey, birds, guys have little bikes.
	What are you looking at?
	How big that drive will look?
	There's a joke.
	Ted Wheeler, the joke.
	I hope I get a sunburn.
	Hold up.
	I'm stopping.
	I'm stopped.
	That means I'm stopped.
	Hold your middle.
	Okay, now go to 5-1.
	He's sort of like Daniel Klowes, the cartoonist, where he's so good at mocking people, he just becomes a documentarian.
	Now, this is even funnier, and it's real here in New York City.
	Brutal lagging.
	He's got a loudspeaker.
	Oh, there's a kid.
	Sorry, kids, no running here.
	Tourists who don't have bike lanes in their countries.
	In case you don't know, sidewalks around your right.
	I gave her the one-finger salute.
	Scaring the shit out of old Chinese ladies, that's fun, especially in this day and age.
	Oh, she just vanished.
	I shouldn't have to yell at these people.
	It's not very smart.
	Not very smart.
	He puts a little trophy on her head.
	Hello, hello.
	You are so fucking smart.
	It's unbelievable.
	It's unbelievable.
	That's when you realize he's Puerto Rican.
	He is, huh?
	Or Dominican.
	Yeah.
	You're so smart.
	It's unbelievable.
	Yo, why are you so smart?
	Oh, yeah.
	Someone sent me a letter that I got to send you.
	But you can jump ahead to 1-4.
	She's running for something.
	Yeah, there she is.
	Catalina Lauffe.
	So this guy sent me this letter, and he goes, Gavin, I have a perfect 10 for you.
	You're going to freak.
	I just emailed it to you.
	And I looked at it and I went, sorry.
	Too pretty.
	That seven we had, the trashy waitress last week with the fishnets and the little bit of a gunt, that's perfection.
	Seven is a 10.
	Tens are sevens.
	Tens are hack.
	Tens are, I don't want her.
	Look at her fucking teeth.
	She's a drawing.
	It's like Ashley St. Clair.
	Too pretty.
	Sorry.
	Not interested.
	This is, she calls herself the anti-ALC.
	She's running against Rhino Adam Kinzinger in Illinois.
	She's a solid nine.
	If you don't think so, you probably need to go to the fag doctor and get the gay removed from you.
	I know in the picture I'm attaching, she looks a little young, but as a two-for-one shot, I'll drag my balls through a mile of broken glass just to hear her piss in a tin cup over the phone.
	That's a good one.
	I like the one where they go, I would kill my entire family on Christmas morning just to eat her ass.
	But this is my problem with beautiful standard beauty ladies.
	They just look like handsome men.
	Yeah.
	Like that big chin.
	You shave them, you put a tuxedo on them, you cut their hair short.
	They're just gorgeous hunks.
	That one's a stretch.
	Well, it's a computer doing it, Detective Shitty.
	What do you mean a stretch?
	This isn't some artist coming up with someone who looks similar.
	Or are these guys a little feminine, too?
	I mean, they kind of are.
	It's like they're meeting in the middle somewhere.
	Yeah, yeah, exactly.
	That's no fun.
	Plus, I was raised on Barbie Benton in Playboy, so I was raised like girls with little button noses.
	Not like a strong chin and a big, strong nose.
	Like...
	Well, that's obviously her today.
	But what's her name?
	Giselle Bunchin.
	She had quite a wide nose.
	It's much wider than I remember.
	Giselle Bunchin, by the way, who has no ass.
	Also, Gal Godot.
	I was watching her in Justice League on the weekend because I put in a different movie and my fucking hack box brought up some other thing.
	But look at that guy.
	Imagine him in a three-piece suit, Tom Ford, and he's got a briefcase.
	You're like, wow, I bet you get a lot of pussy.
	That's the first thing I'd think when I saw him.
	You should cut your hair, dude.
	You look like a fag.
	Actually, he doesn't even look like a fag.
	That is duty.
	He just looks like he's got really long hair.
	He looks like a surfer.
	Like a Fabio.
	He's a cool surf, dude.
	Did you know Fabio's red-pilled?
	Nice.
	That's good.
	We got Hercules.
	We got Fabio.
	We got a lot of people.
	We got people I can't say.
	Frankly.
	Frankly?
	Okay, let's start the show.
	Are we ready to rock?
	Let's start with Biden.
	Pet Biden?
	My pet Biden.
	Biden.
	On him I can depend.
	My pet.
	Biden.
	A monster of the present.
	Lagging.
	He's big and foolish.
	Sleepy.
	But a friendly monster too.
	My pet.
	Biden.
	Wait, what?
	That doesn't rhyme.
	Dude, so you think the only solution to lagging is a new computer?
	Yeah.
	Which I said, go ahead and buy.
	And don't go through me.
	Go through our tech guy.
	He'll tell you what to buy.
	I don't fucking know.
	True.
	Here's a gaff reel someone sent in.
	These are getting old.
	I don't mean they're getting old.
	Sorry, let me rephrase that.
	We're getting gaff reels of old shit.
	There's so much good stuff with my pet Biden that if you have him doing a funny trick, I want it to be new 1.2 billion.
	So you go ahead and you stack spaghetti sauce at a store in a supermarket.
	You control the guy or the woman who runs the, runs, brings out the carts on a forklift.
	What happened?
	And Representative Shirley Jackson.
	We already covered this.
	He forgets his Secretary of State.
	Affirmative action hire.
	Excuse me.
	Pinnell and I'm going to be able to get a lot of here.
	I'm going to lose track here.
	I'll lead an effective strategy to mobilize true international depression.
	Brock and I think it's a right for people to have bad at Calif Care.
	I just want to thank you both, and I want to thank the former general.
	I keep calling him general.
	Yeah, that's the one.
	The guy who runs that outfit over there.
	Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids.
	I sit on the stand and they get hot.
	I got hairy legs that turn blonde in the sun.
	The only way to spare more pain and more loss, the only way these millstones no longer mark our national morning.
	These milestones, I should say, no longer mark our national mourning.
	That's one of the worst ones.
	Wait, can you scroll?
	Yeah.
	That one hurt.
	That might be our winner.
	He completely abandons his original point 100%.
	The only way to spare more pain and more loss, the only way.
	Is what?
	These millstones no longer mark our national mourning.
	These milestones, I should say, no longer mark our national mourning.
	Brains does not work.
	Again, we are calling The Hague and we are charging America with a human rights violation.
	They made a dying man, my pet Biden, the president.
	That's sick and depraved.
	What if I toured the country with the circus and I had a little pet that was an old man with Alzheimer's and dementia, a senile old man, and I had him run around, jump through hoops and say, hello and do little tricks.
	And I would bounce jelly beans off his forehead as he tried to eat them.
	I would be arrested.
	Someone needs to be arrested for this.
	It's morally wrong.
	Who do we arrest?
	That's true.
	I don't know.
	America.
	America, you're under arrest.
	The military, prison, industrial complex just quadruplified.
	All men and women are created by the, go, you know the, you know the thing.
	That's a t-shirt.
	I keep forgetting how bad that one is.
	That's a t-shirt.
	We're selling that shirt.
	Please go to censored.tv.
	We don't promote our shirts enough.
	I hear the Hodge twins make seven figures off their shirts, and we don't because we don't wear them.
	But I don't like wearing a t-shirt on the show.
	It seems disrespectful.
	But as you can see, we have that Biden shirt.
	Click on it.
	Now, I made those in Photoshop because we hadn't made them yet.
	But there's that one.
	And there it is.
	We hold these truths to be self-evident.
	Men and women created by you know, you know the thing.
	It's not wobbly like that.
	I should update it with a better picture.
	But we've got them right over there.
	Go ahead, Joe.
	Oh, men and women created.
	By the, go, you know, you know the thing.
	I want to be clear.
	I've kept going nuts.
	I'm not sure whether it's in medical school or where the hell I spoke, but it was on a campus.
	Apology enough, Mr. Vice President.
	Why are you texting?
	Why, why, why, why, why, why, why are you?
	You're getting nervous, man.
	Calm down.
	It's okay.
	Tomorrow's Superstar, Tuesday.
	And I want to thank you all.
	I tell you what, I'm rushing ahead, aren't I?
	And the kids used to come up and reach into the pool and rub my leg down.
	So enough of it.
	That's nothing.
	Remember, we thought it couldn't get worse than that?
	That's nothing, man.
	You're a damn liar, man.
	That's not true.
	And no one has ever said that.
	No one has done that.
	Look, Fat.
	Look, here's the deal.
	Look, Fat to like about Vermont in terms of the beauty of it.
	And what a neat town.
	I mean, this is sort of a.
	Because what you do here in Iowa, what they do in Iowa, what you do here in a primary in New Hampshire.
	For example, if you are in the state of Ohio, which is the state of Ohio, like they're trying to do in the state of Ohio.
	3,900 of them right here in the state of North South Carolina.
	Of your South Carolina.
	Cancer, Alzheimer's, and as well as diabetes.
	Ladies and gentlemen, give me a break.
	Anybody who can throw coal into a furnace can learn how to program, for God's sake.
	The president thinks my friend from Vermont thinks that.
	Remember, that's when his eye was bleeding.
	That's my little sister, Valerie, and I'm Jill's husband.
	Oh, no, listen.
	Oh, you switched on me.
	This is my wife.
	This is my sister.
	They switched on me.
	Yeah, okay.
	No, you haven't.
	You're a lion dog-faced pony soldier.
	You said you were, but now you got to be honest.
	I'm going to be honest with you.
	We got to stop a building and replacing Fight Point.
	You have to go vote for someone.
	What did he say there?
	Go vote for someone else?
	Yeah.
	We got to stop a building and replacing Fight Point.
	You have to go vote for someone.
	Three former chairs of the Black Caucus, the only African-American woman that had ever been elected to the United States Senate.
	A whole range of people.
	My point is...
	The other one is true.
	I'm getting defensive of him.
	I said that.
	Stop laughing at him.
	Don't laugh at him.
	That's hard by him.
	I like how he defends himself.
	Stop laughing.
	I said the first.
	Okay, I think you mean like the eighth.
	I wonder what number Kamala Harris is as far as African-American women elected this.
	It's probably quite a bit.
	That's true.
	It's back when the left could laugh at him.
	First African woman to the left.
	First, African.
	So my point is.
	I'm looking forward to appointing the first African-American woman to the United States Senate.
	Don't say you're a little late.
	150 million people have been killed since 2007 when Bernie voted to exempt the gun manufacturers from liability.
	My name's Joe Biden.
	I'm a Democrat.
	A candidate for the United States Senate.
	Look me over.
	If you like what you see, help out.
	If not both, the other by give me a look, though, okay?
	But that was hard.
	That was hard.
	Guess what?
	If you elect me, I'm not going to have your, your taxes are going to be raised, not cut, if you benefit from that.
	Now we need to stand behind Jamie Harrison, the next busy night, next city.
	South Carolina.
	He keeps calling people the president of the United States, like President Harris.
	You know why?
	Because his subconscious is saying, I don't want to do this.
	Maybe them.
	It's a subconscious cry for help.
	Help.
	Joe, I'd love to help you.
	I want to rescue my pet Biden.
	I want to take him to a golf course.
	I want to take him to Mar-a-Lago.
	Just sit there and relax, dude.
	We'll bring your grandchildren by.
	You can call them a lion dogface pony and we'll giggle when you get their names wrong.
	That's what he deserves.
	He should have a drink with a little orange slice in it.
	Yeah.
	Fucking leave him alone, you meanies.
	I really did feel defensive when Corey Booker and Kamala were laughing at him.
	It's like, hey, hey.
	Hey, hey, hey, don't make fun of my great-grandpa.
	I mean, we can, but.
	All right, Chuck.
	Thank you very much.
	All right.
	It's Chris, but anyway.
	I just did Chris.
	No, no, I just did Chuck.
	I'm actually the son of the guy from 60 Minutes, so kind of famous.
	Back to back.
	Anyway.
	No, it's up to you.
	You do it early in the morning, too.
	You said they would have to buy.
	They would have to buy in.
	If you qualify for the children's.
	Are you forgetting what you said Maddie could be in?
	Yes.
	Are you forgetting already what you said just two minutes ago?
	I'm beginning to see why your wife left you.
	1.2 billion.
	So you go ahead and you stack spaghetti sauce at the same time.
	So this is the beginning again.
	Okay, so my pet Biden is so adorable that he's taken all the illegal Mexicans and dressed them up as burritos and put them in large giant fridges where they will keep.
	See, this is what happens when you elect someone's pet as the president.
	He makes Mexicans into burritos.
	I'm not kidding.
	There they are.
	Photographs of what it actually looks like inside this facility.
	Shocking images showing people wrapped up in what looks like metal foil, laying on the ground, their faces covered.
	Why won't the administration be honest about this?
	I'm going to show you these images.
	I'm on the ground in Donna, Texas.
	You want to take a look at this facility right here.
	It's a little bit of a one-year-old.
	Just a month ago.
	Sad.
	I mean, I don't really laugh at stuff like that.
	Oh, my God.
	Was this a Mexican gun?
	That's a horrific one.
	Yep.
	That's what they look like on the inside.
	They sure do.
	They look delicious.
	Hey, we bleed red and green.
	Maybe we're not eating burritos.
	Maybe we've been eating Mexicans this whole time.
	Soil and green is people.
	Border Patrol agents completed the construction of that facility.
	It's 165,000 square foot facility.
	And we have never seen images inside this facility before.
	They won't even allow it.
	Take that on your own.
	I was not kidding.
	In Biden's America, we took the kids out of cages and we put them in burrito wrappers in the fridge to later eat them.
	That's what's going on with this hunger crisis, this food shortage in America.
	We're eating Mexicans.
	And I know you think, but I'm eating it burrito with onions and beans.
	That's what the inside of Mexicans look like, dummy.
	I would not be surprised.
	I've been in this business so long that when I see a controversy, I start going, wait a minute, that's the chick from the thing.
	That's the guy from the stuff.
	So remember the deputy press secretary, it was Biden's guy.
	Not Jen Saki, but right below her, the deputy press secretary, was this little kid named T.J. Ducklow.
	And if you go to 1-8, you can see how much of a little kid he is.
	He looks like a rich kid's son.
	And it's one of those faces that's never been punched.
	But you can tell he's got a lot of attitude.
	He's the sassiest intern on the block.
	But that face has never received a punch.
	Never delivered a punch either.
	So he's not a man.
	He's a child.
	And people who haven't been punched or people who haven't experienced real conflict, they talk a big game.
	So when someone threatened to expose an affair he's having with a journalist from Axios, he said, I will destroy you.
	Remember that?
	That was 1-7?
	What does it say at the top?
	He resigns.
	Yeah, sorry.
	He resigned after using abhorrent and unacceptable language.
	Abhorrent.
	That's like that fucking word atrocious.
	I abhor both abhorrent and I think the word atrocious is atrocious.
	Why are you trying to sound like a Victorian school marm?
	But anyway, the chick that he was boinking, where he said, I will destroy you, is that Axios chick.
	The one, sorry, that Teen Vogue editor who was fired for saying, is this 1.9?
	Who was fired for saying for her anti-Asian tweets.
	Oh, wait, now we're getting really deep into it.
	So go back to 1.9, the National Post.
	Ducklow32 warned a female political reporter against publishing a story about his relationship with Alexi McCammond of Axios, who'd cover the Biden campaign, according to a Vanity Affair report.
	Alexi McCammond, that's the chick who had those anti-Asian tweets.
	And the tweets, by the way, were pretty innocent.
	To be clear here on the show, we love seeing people censored.
	It's fucking funny.
	So I am crying.
	No tears for Alexi McCammond.
	And as Milo points out, that's what we need.
	We need normies to start getting censored so people know what it's like.
	So far, it's just the freaks.
	When it happens to the normies and the left, the left gets to taste their own medicine.
	That's the only way they can learn how bad it is.
	Just like people who've never been punched in the face.
	So yeah, outdone by an Asian, that's not insulting.
	Now Googling how to not wake up with swollen Asian eyes, that doesn't seem that insulting to me.
	No, they've been using chink eyes for so long.
	Well, yeah.
	But I woke up, I looked Asian.
	She wants to say Asian.
	And I don't want to look Asian.
	That doesn't mean you don't like Asians.
	No one wants to look like a race they're not.
	Like, if you're black and you wake up and you have food poisoning, you wake up, you're so pale you look white.
	You'd go, I want to change this.
	He wouldn't go, awesome, I get to be white.
	So that one's not mean.
	Give me a two out of 10 on my chem problem.
	Cross out all my work and explain what I did wrong.
	Thanks a lot, stupid Asian TV TA.
	You're great.
	What's the matter with that?
	I don't...
	I mean, there's definitely some malice in there, but not a lot.
	And then what's this?
	Last one?
	I'm covering it up.
	She was like an old Asian woman.
	What's the matter with that?
	So we only have one, and you could argue it's just a qualifier, just describing the person.
	But anyway, I don't give a shit.
	Good.
	Fuck her.
	I'm glad that she got caught fucking that dude.
	I'm glad that he got caught saying I will destroy you and he had to resign.
	I love it all.
	But get this.
	It gets better.
	Some hideous Pilipina who...
	That's her looking amazing, by the way.
	Check out 2-1.
	This is what she looks like.
	She's Irish and Filipina.
	Whoa.
	Which apparently God is not a fan of.
	Race mixing often works out great.
	But in the case of Ryan Katsu Rivera and this, God does not approve.
	Look at her fucking hideous tattoos.
	Good times, man.
	We had some good times over there.
	That is a two?
	I'm going to say a two.
	That's being nice.
	I want to leave room at one for you know people who just had their faces blown off in a car bomb accident.
	It's it's this is tough because I want to say she's a one, but I know she's like actively competing to be like number one, number one.
	Like she's in a look the most like a one contest, and I don't want to give her the credit.
	Anyway, go back to 2-0.
	So this chick was really happy about Alexi McCammon being fired for anti-Asian tweets because she's so Asian.
	Meanwhile, look, if you have to tell people that you're a race, then you can't really jump on the victim train.
	And so she gets caught saying the N-word.
	And now she's in shit.
	Isn't this great?
	Yep.
	And I'm sure, by the way, that teen Vogue chick, Alexi, I'm sure she was pro-cancel culture before it bit her in the ass.
	I'm guessing, but I'm sure she was.
	As well as TJ Ducklow.
	So TJ Ducklow, Alexi McCammond, and this hideous bitch, what's her name?
	Christine Davitt.
	They've all been hoisted on their own retard.
	And stop emailing me with the correction of that, you fucking morons.
	But what did she say?
	And even hers weren't so bad.
	She's just using rap slang.
	I love the contradictory nature of the phrase white nigger.
	It's probably A with an A to it, right?
	White nigger?
	No, maybe.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, this white nigga racist.
	Oh, right.
	Because there's white nigger, which is like Lester Bangs would call himself that.
	And he had a book, The Last of the White Niggers.
	But she's probably too young to know any of that context.
	So now it's like when black dudes are describing someone.
	Like, yeah, I was with him.
	He's a white nigga.
	Yep.
	I had a very black Sunday.
	Did you?
	Yeah.
	Would you...
	Never mind.
	I was at church in a blue-collar neighborhood because I hate my local church, and that was mostly black.
	And then I went to the bar.
	My local bar had a wing competition with an Asian dude and a white guy.
	But for some reason, half the bar was black.
	They lost wings.
	We also went, I took the kids to practice baseball because my youngest boy's getting into it.
	And my older boy wanted to bond with him, I guess, because he got caught playing Nikki Nindor, so he's grounded.
	So he has no screens.
	So all of a sudden, he's like, I'll play with my brother.
	You're secretly proud, though.
	I got nothing else going on.
	No, I wasn't proud of this one.
	It was too rough, the Nikki Nindor.
	You're supposed to go ding-dong and run, not bang-bang.
	But he's got no screens for a week.
	Which is funny to do that to kids, because you know what they do?
	You go, well, now they're going to read or do other stuff.
	You know what they do, at least for the first two days?
	Just sit there and go, and then sometimes fall asleep.
	Yeah, it's like a withdrawal.
	Just fall asleep on the couch in the middle of the day.
	In other words, I'd rather not live when I don't have Fortnite.
	What else was black about it?
	Oh, yeah.
	So then we go.
	So the only baseball diamonds that are available are in the projects.
	I don't know why.
	So we go down there and we're in the black part of town.
	God damn it, these girls, I get the feeling they're all starting their day around 4 p.m.
	And it makes sense, right?
	You go to bed at 4 a.m.
	You probably wake up at noon.
	And that's eight hours, maybe one.
	Then you lays around, you watch a show, you have breakfast, you get dressed, you have a shower, whatever.
	So you're probably like ready to rock.
	You've met all your friends at 4 p.m., which means in the winter, they must not see the sun for weeks at a time.
	But they have this speaker.
	The hot thing with the youths today in New York and the surrounding suburbs is to carry a speaker around.
	So we're back to the boombox days.
	But it's a speaker that goes on your backpack or something and it's fucking loud.
	This one was the size of a printer.
	It was this big.
	And it was so big it was on wheels.
	And she's blaring, she's walking by, she's with her six or seven friends.
	And she's walking by the baseball dime we were at was next to a kid's play yard.
	So there's a bunch of four-year-olds, mostly illegal Mexicans.
	And she's walking by them with, motherfucked you, Adam.
	Remember when I fucked you on the couch?
	Motherfuckers, fuck this shit, nigga.
	Yo, nigga.
	Like really clear N-words.
	I said, what, nigga?
	Like the music stops.
	I said, what, nigga?
	So definitely learning that word if you're four.
	My youngest boy gets like, dad, it's so loud.
	And they're swearing and there's kids there.
	Yep.
	I go, they're well aware, my dear.
	They're well aware of what they're up to.
	Oh, yeah.
	It's called, fuck everyone but me.
	You know what I wound up doing?
	And you can imagine how loud a speaker is that's the size of a printer.
	Oh, and here's the other annoying thing.
	Her Bluetooth connection was off.
	Oh, yeah.
	So it was like it was designed by Ryan Katsu Rivera.
	It would skip and come in and out occasionally.
	Oh, no.
	And you never got more than like 13 seconds of perfect music.
	That's one of my biggest problems in the world right now.
	Or sometimes when I take the train, they play their, just from their phone, just like, I'm on a flock.
	Oh, yeah, that's annoying, too.
	And I'm just, I sit there and I'm next to my girlfriend.
	I'm just like, like, it must take a lot of balls to just play your music out there like that.
	And I'm just, you know, play their music with on speakerphone, but also make calls.
	Then with Gee, talk to you and be like, who was that?
	Was that white nigga there?
	Yeah, exactly.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Okay.
	Yeah.
	And you can hear this super fucking loud.
	And then there's a commercial.
	Where it's like, if you want to join Freshly today, and it's just like, skip it.
	At least get conversations.
	You're talking about music.
	We got the conversation.
	I got it all.
	You don't get commercials in conversations.
	I get the conversations.
	Yeah.
	But it's the music because I don't know.
	Because there's usually more sex involved.
	And there are kids around.
	So the Alexei McCammon thing is going still.
	It's still going.
	So now we have this dude who says she deserved to be fired, right?
	Stephen Thrasher.
	He's a successful gay black professor who people have to listen to, and he's an absolute retard.
	Like a child.
	Here, move this over.
	I can't read it.
	Dr. Stephen Thrasher.
	Yeah, not Thrasher.
	Welp.
	Everything about this hire was wrong.
	So they're saying they never should have hired her in the first place.
	And he is a democratic socialist.
	So he puts everything through a Marxist lens.
	She was way too close to the White House.
	She had never been an editor before.
	She had poor racial analysis.
	What does that mean?
	And then this professor who teaches kids said she had anti-Asian writing.
	When she was a teen, she said, my Asian TA.
	And staff didn't want her.
	Well, we saw the kind of staff that said they didn't want her.
	A bunch of racist ones.
	And then this is her talking about why she quit, but keep going down.
	They seem to be going for representational optics over substance.
	There is no shortage of black women, people of color.
	QTPOC, queer trans people of color.
	Wow, I'm learning their language.
	Who could have done this?
	Really?
	There's a lot of trans women of color with experience as editors and no offensive tweets?
	I don't believe you, Thresher.
	But yeah, isn't it funny how, so this guy teaches kids and he says that she had anti-Asian writings.
	Meanwhile, she said, was my fucking Asian TA didn't help me with my work.
	She is very hot, isn't she?
	Maybe that's the beef here.
	I'm in a real solving mood today.
	I'm Detective Gavi.
	You're Detective Shitty.
	That's the beef.
	She's too pretty, too acceptable.
	Like it was sort of like when the Cosby show came out, a lot of black power people were pissed off that they were all mochaccino.
	They were too light-skinned.
	They were too acceptable to the mainstream.
	So that's why they don't like her.
	And all the ugly chicks teamed up and said, fuck her, she's a racist.
	Because they can't say, fuck her, she's pretty.
	Meanwhile, this guy, Michael Thrasher, is in shit.
	Look at his fucking face.
	Can you imagine how annoying he is?
	And he probably has a lisp, too.
	You think so?
	I think this is the one.
	Imagine talking to him about Trump and intersectionality.
	So he's calling Israel an apartheid state.
	And he supports that boycott Israel thing.
	You know why?
	Basically, because Israelis are white to him.
	They're the ultimate whites, and he's a racist.
	That's a lot of Israel hatred is just like, I hate the super whites.
	I hate the winners of the white race.
	And I hate white people.
	So if you get the best whites, the most successful whites, with their own state, I hate it.
	Go to journalist Stephen Smasher.
	Why has so little changed, you think, in terms of community relations over the past 20 or 10 years?
	Doesn't he look like there's something up his ass?
	Thank you for having me on your program.
	Structural racism has been happening in the United States of America since before our nation was a nation.
	And so things are not about to change very quickly in just a number of days or even a number of years.
	Listen to his logic.
	Things have been going on for 400 years.
	Therefore, nothing's going to change.
	What does that mean?
	Like, we used to cook over a fire in the Wild West.
	So there's no, that's not going to change anytime soon.
	Yeah, actually, there's buildings in the Wild West now.
	There's ovens everywhere.
	Obviously, it changed.
	Just because something existed a long time ago is not proof that nothing's going to change.
	What?
	I'm in California, near Los Angeles.
	And of course, you have seen some changes over the decades since the events you were just describing in your last segment.
	But there are large historical and sociological trends that structure racism into the nature of the law, into the fabric of our country, and that's not going to disappear just in a short amount of time.
	Why not?
	Is it though?
	Okay, that's enough.
	That's enough.
	Actually, that's a good segue into racism.
	Let's talk about racism.
	Let's talk about racism that was racist, guys.
	All right, speaking of British talk show hosts, I saw this on the World Wide Web recently.
	It was some football ooligan talking and defending Trump and then just getting lambasted by a fucking asshole.
	I just thought I have to take this apart in the green screen room.
	The only thing worse than some fucking posh cunt bullying some geez, some yob, some lad, is when it works.
	That's what fucking really pisses me off.
	So this cunt, James O'Brien, is fucking an asshole.
	LBC, I thought that was relatively right wing.
	But anyway, this guy is a never-Trumper, and some geezer calls in.
	And working class Brits are intimidated by posh people.
	I don't know why.
	They hate them.
	Well, you want to be middle class.
	But they also, when they go toe-to-toe, they don't know what to do.
	They get intimidated.
	They think they're so educated.
	And it makes them flustered.
	And it drives me fucking crazy.
	Because I know these cunts.
	And they're cunts.
	All right.
	So let's start this off.
	It's self-explanatory.
	I just want to say I'm actually a fan of Trump.
	Nothing.
	There's a lot of stuff in the media which are lies.
	Stop.
	Go on.
	Did you get crazy glue?
	My glasses are still broken.
	It wasn't in the end.
	Don't worry about it.
	Okay.
	So, yeah, he likes Trump.
	He likes Trump probably because of the populism.
	You know, that's a popular thing.
	And I would argue that working-class Brits, they're pub culture people.
	They're conversationalist by nature.
	And they're also much more honest.
	These aristocrats, these academics, the British academics, they like to play devil's advocate.
	And for them, conversation is a joust where you take different arguments just to debate as you learned in public school, which is private school over there.
	But with jobs, it's more like, What are you doing?
	Are you mad?
	What's going on?
	I'm not mad.
	Oh, right.
	Whereas maybe I am angry.
	Oh, what is anger anyway?
	That's the sort of upper middle class, upper class way of talking.
	So the working class guy's sort of taken aback by this because he's used to more direct conversation.
	I know yourself, you're obviously anti-Trump.
	No, go on.
	What are the lies that you're unhappy about?
	See, notice that you're obviously anti-Trump, just saying it like it is.
	And then he's like, go on, go on.
	What are the lies?
	What are the lies?
	Well, no, I just think you even said this morning, you said it's okay for him.
	What is it, the quote you used?
	It's okay to be racist again?
	Yeah.
	When, when, okay, so how do you draw that conclusion?
	He accused Barack Obama of not having been born in America and lying about his birth certificate.
	Stop.
	That's racist.
	What?
	Against what?
	Hawaiians?
	And by the way, being a birther is considered being a flat earther.
	I'm officially open-minded about that.
	I've talked to some people who have seen the birth certificate.
	They say that it looks unlike other Hawaiian birth certificates.
	Charles Johnson pursued this for a long time and seems convinced it's a lie.
	So, I mean, I don't know.
	But I'm open to it.
	And the last thing I think is racism when you say Barack Obama wasn't born here.
	His dad's African.
	Ted Cruz got accused of that.
	Remember?
	And I think it's true.
	Ted Cruz's argument, I guess, is that it's an American military base, so it's technically America.
	But it's something that comes up.
	Anyway, go ahead.
	So how's that racist?
	Birtherism is racist because Barack Obama is...
	Well, you can't.
	I mean, you can talk over me if you want, Stephen, but there are previous presidents that have actually been white that have also not been accused of being born in America.
	So was that also racist?
	No, of course it wouldn't be racist.
	Who was that, by the way?
	Okay, so he's fucked up.
	He didn't have all his ducks in a row, as James O'Brien's about to say.
	But make it hypothetical then, if you can't think of who it is.
	Is it racist to accuse a white president of not being born there, being born in Canada or something?
	Wasn't there something weird with John McCain?
	Wasn't he born on like an American naval base or some shit?
	But anyway, then he goes on to say, James O'Brien says, no, it's not racist if you accuse a white guy of not being born in America, but it's racist if you accuse a black guy.
	What?
	I mean, Barack Obama's dad was a foreigner.
	I think there's plenty of reason to debate if anyone with a foreigner dad was born in this country or the foreign guy's country.
	McCain does not qualify as a natural-born citizen.
	He was born in Panama.
	See, it comes up.
	So this is a presidential...
	Two presidential candidates have had their birtherness questioned.
	I think a president from 1880...
	No, come on, you're on national radio.
	You've got your ducks in a row.
	Tell me about the last time an American president was accused of not being born in America.
	I've got other names, but it is.
	Oh, don't be silly.
	Don't tease me.
	Of course you haven't fought.
	Don't be silly.
	Don't tease me.
	So this is like a private school thing in a debate where you'd have a formal debate and you'd be scoring points back and forth.
	That's great for debate.
	And I'm not against that in an academic setting.
	It's good practice.
	But here in reality, when it's two human beings talking face to face, trying to get through the truth, it's not a competition, mate.
	So there's no need to fry him.
	Oh, there.
	So he forgot Chester Arthur's name.
	And we're going to dwell on that to demean the guy so he feels like shit and doesn't want to talk to James anymore.
	And then James can call that a victory.
	Because that's what this is.
	It's a silly joust.
	It's a jousting match.
	It's not a conversation.
	You wouldn't come on the radio and say something and then immediately fall apart in response to the first question you ask.
	It's not falling apart.
	Okay, so let's go back to the lies that have been told about Donald Trump.
	Which one would you reach for first?
	That he's anti-Semitic, that he's, I think, the racist is a great one.
	It's America's number one obsession, and it's totally invalid with Donald Trump.
	He was not called a racist before he was president.
	He was known as the cool, black-friendly guy.
	In fact, the snobs always hated that about him, that his country clubs were open to anyone with the money.
	And he was the opposite of an elitist.
	And that pisses people off.
	He's a populist.
	You want to ask me what I love about him?
	I love his fans.
	That's the best thing about Trump, is Trump's supporters.
	Real, died-in-the-wool Americans.
	You just said it's okay for the racists to come out.
	Well, we've just demonstrated.
	He's very popular with racists, Stephen.
	I think we can all agree on that.
	Okay, first of all, he's very popular.
	And secondly, we've gone through this a thousand times.
	It's guilt by association.
	Chocolate ice cream is very popular with racists.
	It doesn't mean that you're racist if racists like you.
	It means that there is a Venn diagram and there is some overlap with the bad guys.
	A lot of what fucking Louis Farrakhan says is popular with racists when it comes to Israel and anti-Semitism.
	Does that make Louis Farrakhan a white nationalist?
	Help me out here.
	Racists.
	So it wasn't white nationalists that invaded the capital last week then?
	See, look at how he phrases this question.
	It's just a fact that white nationalists invaded the capital.
	No, white nationalists did.
	There was an idiot with a Camp Auschwitz shirt on.
	There was a guy with a Confederate flag.
	And if you think Confederate flags are racist, you obviously haven't been to America.
	You don't understand the nuance with that flag.
	It means a million different things in different parts of the country.
	In upstate New York, it means I hate New York City, but I love New York State.
	That's what the Confederate flag means, upstate New York.
	But anyway, because one or two white nationalists were among the mob who invaded the Capitol, does that mean quote-unquote white nationalists invaded the Capitol?
	If one of them surfed, do we now say surfers invade the Capitol?
	Fuck you.
	Shit logic.
	And you're saying it.
	Look at his little condescending wrinkles on his fucking forehead.
	Don't you just want to pound him right there?
	I know it's not an effective place to punch.
	I know we'd be better off knocking him out here on the button.
	I still want to punch those wrinkles.
	I don't care if I break my fist.
	Steve Bannon, his key advisor.
	Steve Bannon, his key advisor during the presidential campaign, who's now been pardoned for ripping off Trump supporters.
	Stop.
	So the controversy there was Steve Bannon was funding, was using Trump supporters' money to help build a wall, and that apparently was a bad allocation of funds.
	Hey, if I'm giving the Trump administration money, please do spend it on a wall.
	So ripping off is a strong term, hence the pardon.
	But where are you going with this, James?
	Didn't say you should wear the accusation of racism like a badge of honor.
	Stop.
	See, this is the tone here.
	So white nationalists did not invade the capital.
	So it's just accepted as a fact when you state it like it.
	So two and two is not full.
	What is two and two?
	Is it five?
	You're sort of stuck there.
	And if you're not used to being condescended, because in working class Britain, this would mean a fight.
	So if someone's talking to you, they're ready to brawl.
	And when someone's ready to brawl, you go, oh shit, this guy really has the courage of his convictions.
	No, caller.
	James O'Brien's not ready to brawl.
	He's not used to being punched in the face.
	He's used to being a shithead, playing devil's advocate like it's a silly game, fucking over people, lying, and then making you look like the asshole.
	It frustrates me that you're not used to this.
	Maybe I'm too ambidextrous.
	I hang out with the right and the left, the rich and the poor.
	But I can see this bullshit for what it is.
	Well, that's his cry.
	I mean, if that's what he's saying.
	See, now stop.
	Steve Bennett did say wear racism as a badge of honor.
	And what he meant was, we're all being called racist.
	Don't dance away from it.
	Don't get scared.
	You're a racist now if you shit.
	You're a racist if you question Barack Obama's birth certificate.
	So, all right, fine, I'm a racist.
	Bennett's point was to stop hiding from that word and don't let them use it as a weapon against you and just go, throw up your hands and go, yeah, yeah, you got me.
	Ooh, you got me.
	That's his point.
	Stop living in fear of that word because it's thrown at everyone.
	And when everyone is racist, no one is racist.
	That's what the caller should have said to this dickweed.
	The fact that you can't just say then that everyone that marched on the Capitol is racist.
	I didn't.
	I said they were white nationalists.
	What?
	What's the difference now?
	And look at his face.
	Oh, I didn't.
	I said there was white nationalist.
	Yeah, you haven't got me there.
	What?
	Whatever.
	White nationalists, white supremacists, racist.
	You know they're all meant as the same thing.
	Go back, look at his fucking face.
	Well, that's his cry, I mean, if that's what he's saying.
	But the fact that you can't just say then that everyone that marched on the capital is racist.
	I didn't.
	I said they were white nationalist.
	Well, that's his cry, I mean, if that's what he's saying.
	But the fact that you can't just say then that everyone that marched on the capital is racist.
	I didn't.
	I said they were white nationalists.
	It's a really irritating, like, intellectual thing.
	What are you doing here?
	Is this your second brain?
	You're like that dinosaur with the brain in his ass?
	You're also portraying that.
	So let's go back to the lies.
	Let's go back to the lies that the mainstream media in America has told about Donald Trump.
	Well, I've just told you the fact that he's racist.
	But we've just proved that he is.
	You have not.
	See, that's what pisses me off.
	You draw this line in the sand, and then you say, this is a real boundary.
	This is a real perimeter.
	We've established that.
	You haven't established shit.
	And all they do is lie about Trump.
	They say he incites violence.
	They say that he said all Mexicans are rapists.
	They said that he called Nazis very fine people.
	These are all lies.
	But because he's questioned someone's birth certificate, that makes him rape.
	No, because he questioned a black man's birth certificate.
	Shouldn't you be embarrassed?
	As Sebastian Maniscalco says, aren't you embarrassed?
	Like, aren't you embarrassed?
	No, if you criticize a black man, that's racism.
	Really?
	Okay, then I'm going to be a racist and I'm going to wear it as a badge of honor because I'm going to criticize someone or question someone no matter what race they are.
	You fucking dick.
	Isn't that racist?
	To give blacks a special place where you cannot criticize them?
	Untrue.
	So that would be called a racist lie, which is encouraged to make people who are uncomfortable with Barack Obama's skin color believe something that's not...
	So if you criticize him, that would be a racist lie.
	I love how he's just saying this like it's a fact.
	You can see how he got his job.
	He just talks to everyone like they're retarded and they go, well, you must know what you're doing.
	Here, here's a show.
	10 a.m. to 1 p.m.
	You're on the air.
	We believe you.
	True.
	You know what you're saying.
	It's a racist lie.
	And then he goes on to say, because people are scared of Barack, we'll cling to that.
	Yeah, that's not my problem.
	Two and two is four.
	If that makes racists happy, I don't give a fuck.
	It's just a fact.
	And we're not even talking about a fact.
	He questioned it.
	And wait a minute.
	Didn't Donald Trump end the whole controversy of birtherism because he offered like a hundred grand for anyone who can prove it?
	That ends the whole controversy right there.
	You could argue he's anti-birther because he's put a stop to it by offering that gigantic reward about him because it then undermines the legitimacy of his presidency.
	So briefly, because I mean, it's not going great, but I'd like you to stick around for a little bit longer.
	What is it you liked about him, Stephen?
	I think that he came out and spoke a lot of the truth on stuff.
	Yeah, what stuff?
	And then the guy just goes, this is relentless quizzing.
	I'm being interrogated.
	I'm not having a conversation.
	I've had enough of this.
	And you know what this guy is going to do?
	He's going to avoid the middle class from now on.
	And maybe he should.
	Stephen's hung up.
	Yeah, because you're a prick.
	Whatever happened to her?
	Stephen has hung up the phone.
	Stephen's stupid.
	Stephen's human garbage.
	And he's hung up the phone.
	Stephen's gay.
	I wiped him out.
	And I proved to him that Trump is racist because he criticized someone who was black.
	Speaking of criticizing someone who was black, I thought this was interesting.
	We have gone so far down the rabbit hole.
	The pendulum has swung so far into anti-whiteness from just equality that Martin Luther King is a bad guy now.
	Martin Luther King, who said, I just want people to be judged by the content of their character.
	Or when Tucker Carlson said, you know, when I was a kid, you were just your name.
	You weren't judged by your ethnicity or your background.
	And I was like, yeah, like when someone was Jewish when I was young, you didn't really know.
	They just, when they had the yamuka on, you go, oh, you're wearing your hat thing?
	Oh, you're going, oh, you go to church on Saturdays instead of Sundays?
	Huh.
	It didn't, if you, we all wanted to ask some questions.
	I remember really being like, so what's with the weird candle thing?
	Oh, it's a celebration of light?
	Oh, okay.
	Nothing.
	No comment.
	Like, black people, you might go like, so your hair, why is sometimes straightened?
	Oh, you have it straightened.
	Oh, and that's called a perm.
	Oh, weird, because when we curl our hair, we call it a perm.
	Dropped.
	And then John Oliver gets all pissed at him and says, how dare you be so racist and not notice race?
	So now race is everything.
	And I love black people so much that I hate white people.
	And now it's inspiring and empowering to just say white people are evil.
	And if you were to reverse the races, can you imagine if the races were reversed?
	If you were to read any article and make black into white and white into black, you'd be reading the most racist shit you've ever read in your life.
	So I wanted to try this with an article that was in the root called Whiteness is a pandemic.
	By the way, what this, so these guys call themselves like the black renaissance messiahs of super geniuses, Damon King, some other dude.
	They're part of like the blackness is an empire, some stupid name like that.
	And look at how half-assed this is.
	Scroll down.
	Keep going.
	That's it.
	Oh.
	Now, I ran a magazine for many years.
	This is how you write about, say there was a mitten.
	I remember actually writing about this.
	Some guy invented a mitten that had a hole in the middle, and you could put your cigarette in it and smoke like that and keep your mittens on on a cold day.
	That's about the blurb you do.
	This is a little bit longer than that.
	Maybe a new CD is out.
	Oh, Billy Idol's back.
	Yeah, that.
	Or Billy Idol's back with a new album.
	It's taken him in, this last album was, you know, 13 years ago, and this is a big deal.
	And we're all, actually, it was more like 20 years ago.
	But here he is, Billy Idol, blah, blah, blah.
	So this is him writing about an entire race of people that goes back hundreds of thousands of years and how they're all evil.
	Right?
	So let's take a random paragraph from that.
	What does he say?
	Not many to choose from.
	Yeah.
	Okay, go to that paragraph.
	Move it over.
	I can't read it.
	It's behind the broken part of the screen.
	There's a line connecting this act of terror, and he's talking about the white supremacists who shut up the Asian spa.
	Now, I might be in a bubble, but correct me if I'm wrong.
	I don't think that narrative stuck.
	I think it came out that he was a sex addict.
	He liked Asian women too much.
	He was addicted to porn and getting handies.
	So he went and shot up a bunch of hand job places, which must suck for the families because their mom's face is everywhere.
	They're like, yeah, my mom was a professional hand jobber.
	But he shot them because of his addiction.
	He wanted to take away the temptation.
	So, but are people really going, is the white supremacist thing, because the cover of the post said sex addict.
	So the white supremacist thing can't be sticking.
	But anyway, there's a line connecting this act of terror to the 11 people killed at the Tree of Life Synagogue in 2018 and the nine people killed at the Emmanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in 2015, of course.
	But also to gentrification, to redlining, to racial profiling.
	Look at this.
	He adds a comma after every two, and then he stops doing it.
	To gerrymandering, to voter oppression, to mass incarceration, to the war on drugs, to the subprime, to the vast disparities in both COVID deaths and who receives COVID vaccinations, to how the men and women who stormed the Capitol just went home and had dinner with their families afterward.
	While we were still processing and recovering from what we witnessed, they were already back on their couches watching criminal mines.
	Okay, so I took that article and I just changed black to white.
	Right?
	Do you want to hear it?
	Yeah.
	This is from...
	Wait, should I...
	Yeah, you can hold it up.
	Overlay something so that way this doesn't get taken out of context.
	Shit.
	Well, you should keep it up there.
	Like, scroll to the top.
	No, not the very top.
	The first sentence, right?
	I'll tell you what you shouldn't do.
	You shouldn't show tooth 23C or 23D while I read this.
	Gotcha.
	I don't have much to add here today that ain't already been said.
	Blackness is a public health crisis.
	It shortens life expectancies.
	It pollutes air.
	It constricts equilibrium.
	It devastates neighborhoods.
	This is Philly right here, for example.
	It increases debt.
	It sparks and funds crime.
	It flattens dialects.
	It infests consciousness.
	And it kills People, white people, and people who are not white, my mom included.
	There will be people who die in 2050 because of black supremacy-induced decisions stuck in 1850.
	A line can and should be drawn from the actions of the black supremacist who walked into a Nashville church and killed 10 white people.
	That guy's name, by the way, was Emmanuel something?
	Emmanuel Sampson.
	He went to the church explicitly to kill white people.
	He killed 10.
	No one ever talks about it.
	But anyway, to the relentless anti-white rhetoric pollinating national discourse over the past year, the media and the DNC can and should be blamed for this and the sudden increase of racist violence against Asian Americans.
	The line don't stop there, though.
	It extends back 400 years and has tentacles clawing everywhere.
	Blacks exist here in America, which is everywhere.
	Sorry.
	Tentacles clawing everywhere.
	Blacks exist here in America, which is everywhere.
	See, his writing is so bad that I get caught up trying to read all the weird commas that have been inserted.
	There is a line connecting this act of terror to the 15 people shot in Chicago and the six people killed at the Jewish deli in 2019, of course, but also to the gentrification paranoia, to redlining, to racial profiling myths, to gerrymandering, to vote oppression, to mass incarceration, to the war on drugs,
	to the subprime mortgage crisis, lack of fathers, to welfare, to how the men and women who storm the Capitol are facing death sentences.
	While we were still processing and recovering from what we witnessed, they were already back on their couches, dreading their imminent trials.
	Black supremacy is a virus that, like other viruses, will not die until there are no bodies left for it to infect.
	Which means the only way to stop it is to locate it, isolate it, extract it, and kill it.
	I guess a vaccine would work, but we've had 400 years to develop one, so I ain't holding my breath.
	Pretty shocking.
	Damn.
	That last part is really...
	It's weird how that's...
	What's a vaccination for whiteness?
	I don't know.
	I guess I'm desensitized to their anti-right racism because with the first time it's red against whites, it doesn't sound that bad.
	So it works.
	Well, yeah, I did an article once after Kumia got fired about all these other radio stars.
	Oh, yeah.
	I did it about Anthony Kumia, but I pretended he was black.
	And I said, why is he fired?
	This black radio guy did this.
	This black radio guy did that.
	This black radio guy did the other thing.
	And I listed all these black radio guys doing horrible shit and saying terrible shit about Jews and whites and all kinds of stuff.
	And then at the very end, I went, oh, wait, I know why.
	Sorry.
	I got the races reversed.
	Kumia's white.
	And all those other guys are black.
	Oh, sorry.
	Fuck.
	I fucked it up.
	In the article, I said, why is this poor guy fired, this black guy, when all these white people get away with this?
	And then I had all these white DJs doing horrible things.
	But then at the end, I conceded that I had switched the races.
	And the black guy was Anthony Kumia, and the evil white guys were all black.
	Yeah, that's what I did.
	One time I did an article called Tackling Asian Privilege, and I just completely stole a white privilege article and just did a switch find and changed white to Asian.
	And it worked perfectly.
	And I got so much shit from the Asian community.
	We'll get to that in a second here.
	I like the picture there.
	We are lucky we're Asian.
	He got in shit.
	That was my intern at the time.
	Asian face guy?
	Yeah, and he got in shit for posing for this picture.
	Because he's an Uncle Chong.
	Yeah, is that what it's called?
	I like that.
	I just made it up.
	I'm sure that somebody said that before.
	Lucky to be the what?
	Amnesty.
	Lucky to be.
	Ancestry.
	Minority.
	Lucky to be the model minority.
	Educated, privileged, rich.
	Okay, Miami Vice.
	I had to cover this today.
	Miami is.
	We're officially in the area that's going to be shut down at 8 p.m.
	So for those of you who live in South Beach, most of Ocean Drive is restaurants, hotels, bars.
	They make up the bulk of the businesses here.
	There's also like a CBS.
	This is Lumas Park.
	Down the other side of those trees over there is the beach.
	So far I haven't seen police yet.
	I saw police tape, but I need to see what's going on.
	Scroll forward.
	This is boring.
	It kind of compresses things.
	It's all black.
	It's all chaos.
	And the mayor's contention is I had to put it in a state of emergency because of COVID.
	Okay.
	I agree.
	I promise you.
	Yeah.
	Maybe we need a vaccine.
	It's been 400 years.
	I have some downtime right now because there's about 22 minutes till curfew.
	The curfew, by the way, means nothing.
	They've just gone out farther into the suburbs to terrorize those areas.
	What is everybody?
	Working, fighting, smashing shit.
	Looks like everybody's getting along so far.
	With the biggest eyelashes you've ever seen in your life.
	Oh yeah, they also just throw money in the air.
	I would not want to be there.
	Well, the restaurants are staying open.
	And then they're chasing down...
	Here, I have footage.
	The waiters are physically attacking people who don't pay, which the NAACP has said is racist.
	And they called the crackdown, the legal crackdown, excessive.
	But look at this.
	Look at the crowd of twerkers, right?
	So those are the waiters chasing the guy.
	They did a good job.
	Took him to the ground.
	Look at that.
	That guy's getting pretty good.
	He's an athletic.
	This is a very athletic dining dash.
	They must be football players.
	Get his money there.
	Like, why are they taking...
	Oh, I guess they want to bring him to the cops.
	God, the cops must be busy as bees.
	It's funny, too, because You're like, yeah, I got dope threads on.
	I'm a baller.
	I'm a gangster.
	But I can't afford lunch.
	I can't pay $8 for eggs.
	They had to tackle him twice.
	And look, the twerking just increases exponentially.
	It does.
	He's got cheerleaders.
	Wow.
	We're different.
	So this dude, Mr. Commodity, had a, he lives in Miami Beach.
	I've never heard of him before, but his tweets are the most accurate.
	The national media will tell you the Miami Beach issued a state of emergency because of COVID.
	That's not true.
	That's only half the story.
	Here are some videos of what's really going on.
	This happened twice at the same restaurant.
	And that's just turn up the volume.
	I mean, why open your restaurant?
	You got people major brawls.
	Like, you just lost all your profits right there.
	All your cutlery.
	I mean, all your silverware, all your plates, all your glasses.
	There's two separate fights.
	There's two separate fights.
	Can you get me a water?
	Sure.
	It's affecting my speech.
	Sure.
	I never had a LaCroix because I'm not a woman.
	Try it out.
	It's pretty tasty.
	Very bitter.
	Alright, let's see another one.
	This hasn't been a good idea.
	Wait, wait, wait, his feed.
	So his feed's got tons of stuff.
	Keep going on that same thread.
	Because it just keeps going and going.
	The energizer battery.
	Bunny.
	Wait, is this no volume?
	I guess not.
	That's not very interesting.
	No, it's just the aftermath.
	Okay, I don't care.
	Keep going.
	Well, that's the one we just saw.
	Keep going.
	Oh!
	Oh, Wiltstone!
	Dear African American ladies, if you are going to go out brawling, wear shoes that have laces on them.
	And also, wear a bald cap.
	Wear a bathing cap.
	Because 90% of the fighting seems to involve hair pulling.
	Airport.
	They carry on to the airport.
	They're fighting at the airport.
	Oh my God.
	They got kicked off the plane, and then they got in a fight with people who were mad at them for slowing down the flight.
	Why did that white cop make that happen?
	Yeah, what a racist.
	We need a vaccination against whiteness.
	He's like doing a man's hair.
	Oh, no, that's his shirt.
	Oh, that's a whole pile of cotton candy.
	It's hard to tell.
	Did you hear him?
	He's using all of his strength to separate them.
	You know, when you're lifting something crazy where you're kind of worried that you're going to get a hernia or something?
	You're like, I got to get this bike tire out from under this steel drum, but I might do some damage to myself.
	And you go, yeah, it works.
	I had that at the gym this morning.
	I was lifting not a lot of money, not a lot of weight, like 45 pounds doing these curls.
	And towards the end, I was going, ah!
	And then I thought, do other people do this or should I be embarrassed right now?
	It helps.
	Aren't you embarrassed?
	Do you scream at the gym?
	No, rarely, but the less, sometimes you go, you go.
	No.
	No, I go.
	I go, ah!
	I see people laughing their fucking head back.
	That's good theatrics.
	I don't think I've gotten there, though.
	Dude, it makes a huge difference.
	Scream like a bitch.
	You know, when you're doing the body bags and guys are punching you and you have that thing on, I'll go, yeah, with every punch.
	And the other guy's often crying laughing.
	And then when I hit him, he's like, he was fucking dead the next day.
	Destroyed.
	Not cracked ribs, but just beaten up.
	I was 100 bucks.
	You make yourself into a whoopee kushi.
	Yes.
	And then when they hit you, it goes, boo.
	So you're not getting hit.
	You build up this force and they go, yeah.
	So A, it makes them laugh and that makes them less strong.
	And B, I put this in the boxing instructional video.
	You get your yeahs out.
	Another night, restaurant completely trashed.
	This man decides to use a woman's head as a basketball.
	Oh, sorry.
	But at this point, I'm just, I don't get the restaurants.
	Well, most of our money is spring break.
	All right.
	Is this a dog whistle?
	This had zero to do with COVID lockdowns and 100% to do with this type of nightly and all caps behavior.
	No.
	No, detective shitty.
	Well, we should.
	Can we co-opt that?
	This is very nightly behavior.
	But it's in broad daylight.
	Yeah, well.
	By the way.
	What's that?
	They just beat the shit out of women all the time over there.
	In nightly land.
	You're not going to get him to stop.
	He said nightly because he wants to emphasize that this is going on every single fucking night.
	Is that a white girl?
	No, it's a light skin.
	In comparison, you're like, yeah, that's...
	Look, and then he gets in with some big, serious punches.
	Boy, he loves Metallica.
	To quote Metallica, you think you're so tough.
	Why don't you fight me?
	Maybe, is it possible that black men are okay with hitting women because their moms, like the dad isn't around, so the mom's like, can you whip your sister's ass for me?
	Because she's not the disciplinarian?
	I'm going to get your brother whip your ass.
	Maybe they're fighting their sisters all the time at home, and there's no dad to say.
	Viral videos of spring breaker show racist policing in South Beach.
	I mean, the jails must be fucking full.
	We've seen.
	How many crimes have we seen in the past 30 seconds?
	Keep going.
	Any more videos?
	What's 4-0?
	Have we already done that one?
	I mean, we could go on for days.
	Does this do anything?
	Does this do anything?
	I hate seeing this, by the way.
	That your car's fucked now.
	It's not easy just to pop out those dents.
	It's not anybody else's car that matters.
	That could be, I don't know, 10 grand.
	That's worth more than the car.
	Your car's fucked now.
	You might be able to get those little, like, you know, plungers to pop them out, but I doubt it.
	The Ding Kings?
	Yeah.
	You better go to fucking Ding Castle.
	Shortly followed by exhausted police.
	What's...
	Oh, yeah, 4-2, they had the SWAT team coming in.
	And I thought this was funny.
	SWAT teams move into Clear Spring Breakers after Miami.
	Here's the thing I was thinking when I looked at that.
	What would you do, Detective Shitty, if you're the mayor of Miami Beach?
	There's no nuclear option available, so, oh, I don't know.
	Oh, like toxic gas.
	Okay, well, that's enough of you.
	And to answer the question seriously, I would have all the business.
	I assume the businesses would just board themselves up naturally.
	I mean, you don't make any profit when your shit is totaled every night.
	So I would ask the president for the National Guard.
	Maybe I would stay open if I could have armed guards at every door.
	And then the restaurants, I would say, just take your money first.
	So you go to the, the waitress goes up to the person, I'll take the eggs, blah, blah, blah.
	And then the waitress says, that'll be $8.41, please.
	And then you take the money, then you bring the food.
	But yeah, this is a...
	You take their ID.
	You've got to turn this into a police state.
	And then the NAACP will say that's excessive.
	And you go, okay.
	But you need 1,000 cops in military there.
	Yeah, but that's not even going to.
	Anyway, I remember this.
	I was on Hannity many years ago, and he was bitching about spring break in Panama City.
	And everyone was laughing at him.
	And Jon Stewart was saying, aha ha, Hannity's such a pussy that he can't handle kids partying.
	And I was on his show quite a bit, and I said, I did a very controversial thing where I said, if my sons want to go to spring break when they're older, I'm not nuts about it, but all right.
	If my daughter wants to go there, no fucking way.
	I will lock her in a cell.
	And that was considered totally sexist, even though every parent agreed with me 100%.
	And then Sank Uger said, if we listened to McInnes' plan, then spring break would be a sausage fest.
	It'd just be dudes.
	And that's such a communist way of thinking, where all of a sudden I'm Mao, and when I make a rule about my family, that applies to everyone in the world.
	He was accidentally sexist there, too.
	Why?
	There should be some pussy there.
	Basically, is what he said.
	Okay.
	So, yes, that's what he said.
	That's not sexist.
	He was saying young people should fornicate.
	But what he doesn't understand, what Jon Stewart didn't understand, is Panama City had Lil Wayne come and do a show one year, and that opened up the Knightly contingent.
	And ever since then, there have been major troubles.
	And I talked to a cop in Panama City, and he said, one of the problems here is that the girls are getting raped and they don't mind.
	And I said, pardon es moi?
	And he goes, they take Xanax and they're on the beach or they take these opioids.
	They pass out on the beach or they're half conscious.
	These black guys are lining up in a line of 20, surrounded by people who are watching this girl, have a train run on her.
	And he goes, we show up there, you know, late.
	They've already had five of the guys.
	Everyone disperses.
	We talk to people.
	We have witnesses.
	We say, we can arrest these guys.
	We know we can track down the five guys who just raped you as you lay there going, semi-conscious.
	Strangers are just banging them.
	And then they go, nah, don't worry about it.
	I don't want to.
	And women are, in fact, demented.
	So he couldn't pursue rape charges on rapists.
	And then shortly after Jon Stewart mocked Hannity for bitching about Panama City because he's so uptight and he can't handle when young people party, there was a mass shooting at a party and three kids were killed.
	And then all the rape started coming to, I was going to say fruition, all the rape started coming to the forefront and then they realized how bad it was.
	And of course, you know, in a perfect world, Jon Stewart would go, holy shit, Hannity was right.
	I thought he was just being a prude.
	Meanwhile, Hannity knew this because he had reporters go down there.
	Something Comedy Central was not doing.
	He had reporters go down there and they saw the fucking gun violence and the drugs and the rioting.
	It's not just Dinondash and someone smooching on the beach.
	It's gang rape.
	What are you looking up?
	Springbreak rape.
	Anyway, 4-3 was just, that was just reminding me of.
	And Hennedy didn't have enough balls to really roast Jon Stewart on that.
	Stewart demolishes Sean Hennedy's insane spring break coverage.
	Aha ha, what a loser.
	Who wrote that?
	I bet they don't have a job anymore.
	Jack Merkinson.
	Well, that's a fake name, but look him up.
	I bet he is no longer a writer.
	A lot of these people who write for these shit posting blogs, like Gawker and Daily Beast and HuffPo, they don't realize that they will not have any other job ever.
	Yes.
	Senior media editor.
	Haven't seen you in a while there, buddy.
	What do we got?
	2014?
	Look him up, though, news.
	Put his name in quotes and then click news.
	That's how you do your job.
	What's he got there?
	Forbes, Joy Behar.
	He's writing with Joy Behar for Forbes?
	This is all that popped up in news.
	Yeah, four years ago.
	Apparently, she was supposed to be leaving the view.
	So he was writing about.
	He still had a job four years ago.
	That's 2016.
	A couple months ago?
	No, this is March.
	Peterson.
	That's not him writing it, though.
	So what does he write?
	Discourse blog.
	I work at Discourse Blog.
	Really?
	What's that?
	Your own blog?
	Look at that.
	Guys, when you write for these bitchy, snarky little sites like HuffPo, you're going to get fired.
	There's mass layoffs there every day.
	I think they shut down their entire Canadian division.
	And then no one's going to want to go near you because you're not a journalist.
	You're a snitch.
	And that's not funny.
	And you're terrible at your job because you come from a place that has no standards whatsoever.
	If they laugh at Hannity without looking up, are girls really being raped?
	They're not a real news source.
	And these girls are being raped.
	They need the help of the readers.
	Oh, really?
	Please, I beg of you.
	Tell me who your state equivalents of Chiproy, Ted Cruz, and Art Esavito are.
	That's how he writes now.
	He just begs for free research.
	Help.
	Okay, let's do a little thing, a little update on.
	Wait, look, can you fill out this Google form?
	Ugh.
	I'm sorry.
	And how many followers does he have?
	It was 14,000 on the Discourse thing.
	His actual personal has 8,000.
	So me and him have the same amount of followers.
	Okay, that's what I mean.
	He's shitty and useless and irrelevant.
	Yes.
	Did you see a super racist video that's going around that looks exactly like you?
	No.
	Milo sent it to me.
	Oh, yeah, it's Markiplier.
	It's who?
	He's an internet man.
	An internet man?
	Yes, he's a man of the internet.
	Well, Milo sent it to me and he goes, can you stop, tell Ryan to stop doing this?
	It's really fucking racist.
	Yeah, I told him that.
	I told him that was from a long time ago, and then I've gotten way worse since.
	So he's still on YouTube and he hates race mixers?
	No, that had to have been just a blank green screen.
	Oh.
	Yeah.
	Markiplier.
	Yeah.
	This LaCroix is kind of growing on me.
	It's not bad.
	Yeah, no, he's not a racist.
	He's just a fight.
	He's a YouTuber.
	Oh, he's a gamer guy.
	Boring.
	That's right.
	Let's do some update on some black on Asian violence while we're discussing racism.
	Oh, yeah.
	So this is an idea I had.
	There's a group that is...
	I don't think this is as simple as just Asian violence.
	I think what's really happening here is we have a mental crisis going on in the country, and it includes you and me, and even Detective Shitty, although he's pretty good at doing nothing all day.
	So he's probably the least mentally affected by the pandemic.
	But the rest of us have rage issues.
	Someone smashed some glass right away.
	And we're mad.
	And now I get to go to the boxing gym every day and hit a heavy bag for not a normal number of times.
	Like I was thinking, we used to do nine rounds on a bag day, right?
	At least.
	That's three minutes of going bonk, bonk, bonk.
	How many punches is that?
	Three, six, so nine, 27 minutes.
	It's 30 minutes of punching this much.
	That's a lot.
	Anyway, other people don't have that release and they're going crazy.
	So why are you seeing black on Asian crime?
	Well, in the violent crime stats, blacks are disproportionately represented.
	Why is that?
	There's a million reasons, right?
	I blame fatherlessness, idle hands, welfare, a million things.
	But conversely, in the victim department, they tend to be disproportionately Asian, especially elderly, maybe because they're the easiest prey.
	So we have predators and prey here.
	And what we're seeing is an increase in national rage.
	So you're going to get more black on Asian crime.
	It's not really that premeditated.
	It's not like a black guy wakes up that morning and goes, I'm going to go punch an Asian old lady.
	I think we have an increase in violent attacks.
	And then within the world of violent attacks, they are the predators tend to be disproportionately black males and the prey tend to be disproportionately geriatric Asian females.
	You know what I mean?
	So say we were living in a very horny time.
	I'm sure the people who use prostitutes are disproportionately ugly fat white guys.
	And I'm sure the women in prostitution are disproportionately black and Latina.
	So you'd say, oh, there's a huge fat white guys fucking blacks and Hispanics craze going on.
	And you try to get into the politics of that.
	And maybe it's linked to the Dominican Republic and the Spanish-American War and all this.
	No, no, no, no, no, no.
	It's rage that's increasing in this country.
	The black on Asian thing is just a natural statistical inevitability when there's more violence and more attacks.
	But the narrative has to be white supremacy, so everyone is pushing this, God, I wish it was whites.
	That's why they were so happy, and I'm not exaggerating when I say, happy about the spa shooter.
	And that's why they were so frustrated, especially Andy Campbell at the Huffington Post.
	That's why they were so frustrated when it ended up being about sex.
	Fuck.
	Now it's criticizing sex work.
	That's part of my team's shit.
	So yeah, that first article on the Globe and Mail, which is hard to get to because Canadians aren't good at business and they expect you to pay money.
	But it's causing breakdowns.
	Ignoring the problem and blaming the pandemic is no longer an option.
	That's what's really going on here.
	And I'm not trying to empathize with the person doing the violence.
	I'm just saying that there's a pressure cooker happening.
	And, you know, the CDC started telling us that there's a, what was it?
	Like it was a 34% chance or 3 to 5%.
	Yeah, 3% to 5% chance of dying when you get COVID.
	And now we discover later, same CDC tells us, oh, it's not 3% to 5%, sorry, it's 0.02%.
	Oh, really?
	Well, you just destroyed the Western world.
	It's a big difference.
	With your typo.
	Or as Tucker pointed out, the six feet apart comes from some weird German scientist in like 1700 who had a shitty experiment where he went at six feet.
	And then they checked his numbers and redid his data and redid his experiment.
	And they discovered that there's zero difference between six feet and three feet as far as transmission goes.
	Yet everywhere you go, go to the post office, there's the stickers that are six feet apart.
	I saw this story, and it was actually in today's post.
	Look at this.
	So, witness, this is on the side here.
	Subway assault was bias.
	Victim, Narayanga Bodhi, sits bloody on one.
	And he said, you fucking you motherfucking Asian.
	And he punched him.
	So what did this guy look like?
	Well, the suspect, identified by cops as 36-year-old Mark Mathieu of the Bronx, was arrested on Sunday.
	And they said he was a fedora-wearing man.
	Okay, I'll be on the lookout for people in fedoras.
	Thanks, media.
	Thanks, news.
	Now, luckily, the New York Post's online version is a little braver, and they show us what's underneath the fedora.
	And what do we see?
	4-6?
	We see a pattern.
	What a fucking ridiculous clown outfit.
	You know what's weird is I didn't picture a black man when they said fedora.
	It's weird.
	Hmm.
	How convenient.
	Huh.
	Maybe it was a white supremacist in a fedora.
	Maybe he was dressed like Dick Tracy, and he had a fedora and a three-piece suit on and a trench coat with a briefcase.
	Actually, I said, what a fucking idiotic look that is.
	And then I realized that's something I could totally see you wearing.
	Not with the fedora.
	You do have that big, stupid cowboy hoodie jacket.
	I don't do the whole hoodie leather jacket thing, but it's a look.
	You have a pink sweatshirt, I believe.
	With a hood.
	Maybe.
	Not that I. And then you have powder blue jeans, although I guess those are sweatpants.
	I could pull it.
	Has he got on a do-rag underneath his fedora?
	It looks like it.
	At least he's got white hair.
	Yeah, this was interesting, though.
	So I started this by saying, don't try to look to logic.
	Well, here's something that would help my argument.
	If black on Hasidic attacks are up in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, then I'm right.
	And you're overthinking this, and it's just predator prey.
	And everyone who's easy prey is getting attacked more than usual these days.
	But this guy, this guy had a bunch of data to back up.
	So this is the exception to the rule.
	This is not the pattern.
	But this guy's mad about how China treats their Uyghurs.
	This fucking idiot doesn't get that religion is illegal in China.
	Chinese are not Buddhists in China.
	Maybe in Taiwan, but you're punished for practicing any religion in China, including Muslim.
	That's why.
	And is there a group that has less in common with American blacks than Chinese Muslims?
	Why don't you go hang out with some Uyghurs for an afternoon and see where your Venn diagram is?
	It doesn't exist.
	There's a circle here and a circle there.
	It's the same Venn diagram as a Mickey Mouse hat.
	You're not even close.
	But the other annoying thing about that guy's argument is, yeah, China does suck.
	They do have concentration camps.
	Every Chinese American knows that China sucks.
	That's why they're here.
	So if you fucking hate China and you see a Chinese person in America, you give them the thumbs up and you go, congratulations.
	You got out of that communist shithole.
	We should high five.
	That should be your...
	What just happened there?
	It was a glitch.
	Oh, cool for a second.
	This one is much less rational and more typical here.
	He's just yelling at this guy, telling the Asian man, who's about 5'2 ⁇ , that he is a small dick, and the black man is a larger dick than him.
	Which I've been thinking about this recently.
	As someone who has a dick that is so big that when I go to the zoo, I see BOA constrictors eyeing my crotch.
	When I go to the zoo on pants, people hide their peanuts.
	My dick is so big that when I go for a piss at the airport, people start lining up next to it with their bags trying to get in.
	If I wrote Boeing on the side, I could just leave it at an airplane hangar and you wouldn't be able to tell which one isn't a plane.
	My dick is so big that guys who work on submarines will come up and start standing on it trying to find the top.
	I've seen it.
	I've seen that happen.
	And it's been a hindrance.
	I mean, anal is pretty much out of the question.
	I used to date this girl who would put her hands on her ass like that so I couldn't go all the way in.
	And it's not a thing women crave.
	They like normal-sized dicks.
	Smaller than mine.
	Mine's so big, I just consider women disposable.
	It's like a one-time thing.
	My dick is so big that I don't wear a condom.
	The woman I'm fucking is a condom.
	My dick is so big that when I come in a girl, I get it all over my face.
	How?
	What does that work?
	Comes out her mouth.
	Oh, I see.
	But you know who does like Bigcocks, I will admit, is porn stars on mess.
	Probably feels better for them.
	So you're trying to appease a porn star on mess.
	Wow, I had this whole LaCroix.
	I had this whole LaCare.
	Did you catch that?
	Where he's like, Omari, whatever the fuck his name was.
	Yeah, he forgot his name.
	You must be really worried about it.
	Say his name.
	I would, but remember her name.
	Don't they really say that?
	Do you remember this name?
	Don't forget.
	Never forget.
	Say her name.
	I would, but I do not remember it.
	Hit the fake laugh.
	Someone wants to kill you.
	You got the smallest dick on the floor.
	We got the biggest dick.
	You got the smallest dick on the floor.
	I think Indians actually beat Asians in small dicks.
	Take your hair up.
	Take your hair up.
	You got the boss bottle.
	I don't give a fuck.
	Nigga, try to be smooth.
	Nigga, just watch it.
	I'm going to beat the shit out you too, Chinese man.
	George Floyd is up there.
	Do you see that?
	Look at that building behind the loud laugh factory.
	Black Lives Matter on the banner.
	And then on the top, George Floyd.
	Yada yada.
	Wait, that's the laugh factory?
	Yeah.
	Oh, I know that place.
	That's right in Hollywood Boulevard.
	Boulevard.
	Right.
	It's a close up.
	Don't give me some shirt for our rice, nigga.
	Don't make my shirt for our rice, nigga.
	You see, this is more like...
	There's no rhyme or reason to this.
	Stop trying to...
	First of all, you look like a fucking moron trying to make it about white supremacy, but it's not even about black supremacy.
	It's just about I'm mad, America's mad, and I happen to be a violent criminal, and that guy happens to be what's perceived as easy prey.
	Which is self-control.
	Proving my argument, too, is the way he's talking to the police, telling them he'll kick their fucking ass.
	Everyone's mad.
	And the demographic that tends to express their anger more, you're going to see more anger within that demographic.
	Disproportionately, I'm not saying all.
	Just saying I noticed a pattern.
	Which is self-control and you delayed gratification-ass bitch.
	You know what I hate about LA?
	There's no pride in there anything.
	It's a sunny day out.
	Why don't you paint that cinder block wall?
	I get that you regret.
	Stop.
	I get that you regret making that open to the public because people were just driving in and hitting those barriers.
	So you put up a giant wall so people would have to go around.
	Okay, whatever.
	But now get some thick industrial paint.
	It's cheap.
	And paint it.
	And get good at it, if you will.
	You go to like a carpet store in LA and it's a nice store.
	It's expensive.
	But the outside has paint peeling everywhere.
	They don't give a shit about their surroundings.
	I guess because they don't walk around very much, so they don't really see it for more than a split second.
	But there's a little pride.
	Not in people's homes.
	They do seem to care about those.
	But in the buildings.
	Fucking justice, nigga.
	On my mama, we need justice, nigga.
	Or we're going to keep on robbing shit, nigga.
	We ain't stopping shit, nigga.
	On my mama, we looting everything.
	On my mama, we need justice.
	We looting everything because of Breonna Taylor.
	Okay, if that's true, then whoever is spreading lies about George Floyd and Breonna Taylor is directly responsible for the looting.
	So the media has sinned.
	Is that video basically over anyway?
	Basically.
	There might have been something right at the end.
	What's going on with your shitty computer machine?
	I have an ignorance blocker and an ad blocker as well.
	Just stopped.
	Have a good day.
	I guess that's technically passive-aggressive, right?
	But that's all they could say?
	I hate that.
	He's like, I want to say something, but all I could say is have a good day, so I'm going to say, have a good day.
	Well, that's also a fuck you.
	Yeah.
	You put me in a situation where I can't argue with you.
	So I'm just going to say have a good day because you changed the rules.
	If I get filmed coming back at you, we're fucked.
	But I didn't hear his final diatribe.
	Oh, my mama, we need justice, nigga.
	That's a very annoying connection.
	Puto Chicago.
	What's Puerto Chicago doing in L.A.?
	Pure Chicago, baby.
	All right, I'm out of patience.
	Don't do the whole Proud Boys thing.
	But my family's very upset about this.
	Proud Boys are looking at sedition now.
	So the running narrative for the left seems to be, oh, the white nationalists who stormed the Capitol get to go home and, as they said in that book, watch criminal minds on their TVs and eat their TV dinners because there's no punishment for them.
	The crime scale goes from 0 to 42, 0 being jaywalking.
	42 being worse than rape and murder, it's sedition.
	It's a capital offense in this country.
	So how many things do we, what do we kill people for?
	We kill them for like repeated murders and then a mass murder.
	Now they never do this, but remember that guy, Taliban John, where they found him fighting against American troops?
	And he's like, don't kill me.
	You go, wow, your English is really good.
	Yeah, I'm from Colorado.
	John Walker Lind.
	Is he still in jail?
	That guy should have been in the electric chair.
	He joined a jihadist army.
	Released from prison three years early.
	Oh.
	Oh, cool.
	So how long was his total sentence?
	After serving 17 years.
	That was 17 years ago?
	I have a 20-year sentence.
	Holy shit, I'm old.
	Holy shit, that seems like yesterday.
	I've only known my wife for 21 years.
	Weird.
	Anyway.
	Amy Siskind, our favorite political activist, the Pied Piper of Board Housewives.
	She seems pretty happy about this.
	Wait, have you got the right one?
	5-0?
	Maybe it's...
	You got a scroll?
	Ah, fuck.
	Okay, so the first tweet, she says, the evidence is trending toward that and probably meets the requirements.
	Evidence in capital attack, most likely, supports sedition charges.
	The worst charges in America.
	17 years that guy got.
	That's what Ethan Nordine and Joe Biggs are facing.
	And I just thought it was funny that, not funny, but macabre, disturbing, that Amy was really focused on that.
	In other words, she wants those men to die.
	The left didn't care when the Kavanaugh protesters stormed the Capitol.
	When the Black Panthers took over the Capitol with guns, it was cool.
	It was badass.
	But when a couple of frustrated patriots do it, and we don't support it, it was a dumb move.
	But Amy's quite thrilled that they're facing sedition charges.
	And anyone who's rational and normal sees that.
	And I think we all have the same reaction mostly, right?
	Probably 80% of the...
	No, I shouldn't say that.
	80% of non-liberals see that and go, well, that was fucking stupid, but I understand.
	And then they saw them smiling as they walked out with a podium.
	Hello.
	And they saw them sitting at the desk.
	And they saw them walk in with the buffalo ears and go, hey, you guys, what's going on?
	And the cop going, can you leave now?
	I think if you were there, you would have gone.
	Gone in?
	Yeah.
	Instead of your life over.
	You know, because the other thing I would be filming, right?
	I wouldn't just go.
	But we had the idea to go, and then I was like, it doesn't feel right.
	And then I heard from on this show and then also Noblebeard.
	He was like, I'm not going to go.
	It's going to be sketchy.
	I spoke with him.
	And I had gotten body armor because it looks cool.
	A lot of people have it when you go out to a thing.
	So I got body armor for Christmas.
	And I was like, yeah, this doesn't feel right if I have to go to the bottom.
	Well, we knew it was a setup when we heard that the government was giving gun permits.
	Right, yeah.
	There were so many weird things about it.
	So when you hear that, you go, well, obviously the DC government is the most left-wing ever.
	It's the most left-wing city ever, 2% of the population.
	So if they're handing out gun permits, they're not going to be giving it to patriots.
	And now it's like licensed to kill.
	I thought there was going to be an Antifa shooting or some shit.
	You'd already seen Proud Boy stabbed a million times and got away with it.
	So anyway, these guys are royally fucked.
	So your whole narrative about, oh, when black people riot, they get away with it.
	When white people attack the capital, they get a high five.
	It's not looking like a high five anymore.
	So you're going to have to switch that up.
	All right, let's hit the mailbag.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a debt.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	Zoop, itly doop, itly boop, biddly boop.
	Yeah, that Catalina Lauf is a Catalina looker.
	Oh, she's kind of fat and has zits.
	Go to, put her in Google image, Catalina Lauf.
	And yeah, a lot of the dead-ons, she's a nine.
	But then you see some sideways, and you see she's a bit of a porker.
	Whoa.
	Which is good, I'm saying.
	That makes her more appealing now.
	And then if you look at the new NW Herald one there, she's got some zits.
	Isn't it funny how you see a girl and you're like, too pretty, no thanks.
	And then you see her looking fat with zits and you go, I just fell in love.
	What a fucking smoke show.
	She just became a bona fide 10 with those zits.
	That's a strong chin, though.
	It is.
	The teeth in the chin are too strong.
	Bold.
	Oh my God, she's got huge tits, dude.
	This is not fair.
	Who gets her?
	Probably like a star athlete or a doctor.
	Right?
	Maybe like a thin Jewish nerd also.
	Like, I could see that.
	Detective shitty strikes again.
	Well, I've seen couples.
	Boy, you're good.
	You get a voluptuous lady and then you get a...
	Voluptuous.
	Voluptuous.
	All right.
	Then you get like a hi.
	I'm her boyfriend.
	David Cross was wronger than you said.
	Good analysis of America Bad.
	Everything that David Cross did, but there's one part I wish you looked at further.
	The video describes GoFundMes that support people's health care needs as a bad thing.
	But this seems antithetical to the left's supposed aim of helping the poor by helping thy neighbor.
	They would rather some giant bureaucratic monopoly, the government, take money from someone else than people help themselves.
	If they are the compassionate, generous ones, then why don't they contribute out of their own pockets rather than the pockets of people richer than them?
	It's just a different mindset for people on the right who will gladly give money to their local church, their local community members who have fallen in hard times, local families, blah, blah, blah.
	But these rightists don't want to be forced or even have others be forced to pay for things against their will.
	They contribute voluntarily, blah, blah, blah.
	Yeah, that's not what they were saying, though, dude.
	That David is one of the most generous givers to charity I've ever met in my life.
	He's saying they shouldn't have to do that.
	He's not against GoFundMes, but he sees them as his argument is they're the only way to get proper health care is to beg for charity.
	That doesn't mean you're anti-charity.
	So once again, person criticizing me is wrong.
	Daily Puke, what's up, homies?
	Coming at you from Carp.
	Here is gay conversion therapy in one super quick clip.
	Got he's like going to jump on in like one minute.
	I know.
	He's almost allowed him to enter.
	It's weird.
	I'm going to be smiling because I'm just excited to see him.
	Some nervous energy.
	He's a busy man.
	We were 45 minutes early.
	Here we go.
	Hey, hey, hi, hi guys.
	How you doing?
	Hi, Nerfald.
	Please tell me they're gay.
	Please be gay.
	Is that the try guys that did the beta testing?
	They did the testosterone test.
	Please be gay.
	Please be gay.
	Please be gay.
	Please be gay.
	Please be gay.
	Please be gay.
	Try guys, multi-award-winning American online thing for YouTube.
	Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
	They have the testosterone.
	They're working for BuzzFeed.
	Of old men.
	I don't see any mention of LGBTQ.
	Holy shit, they're fucking straight.
	Oh, my God.
	They have the T levels of a typical 85-year-old.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	That was one of the most...
	That's why we started the Proud Boys.
	And I think the Asian had the highest T, which is not a good sign.
	Oh, my God.
	That was fucking...
	I have to watch that again.
	I'm sorry.
	That was so painful.
	Holy shit.
	Oh, yeah, Eugene had the highest.
	He's gay.
	He's gay?
	Yeah.
	It says, because it says Eugene boyfriend.
	He's the toughest guy on that team, and he sucks dicks.
	Yeah, like chemically, he is the most masculine man.
	So that's why I always say I don't like using the word faggot as an insult anymore because most faggots are cool.
	You're sub-fag.
	They're literally sub-fag.
	Gotcha going to jump on in like one.
	I know.
	He's almost here.
	I have the participant window open and I get to the hand.
	That's why I assumed when we got this letter, I assumed that they were gay.
	I have the participant.
	Okay, ready?
	I'm emitting him right now.
	Here we go.
	Hey, hey, hi, guys.
	How you doing?
	Hi, Dr. Fouchy.
	That's like, take my balls away.
	I have no problem with that.
	Remember, you saw those couples that had to bow to black people?
	Black Hebrew Israelites do it all the time.
	Like, I'm sorry, what's slavery and stuff?
	And it's just like handing someone your balls, your masculinity, your soul.
	Take away my personality.
	Walk all over me.
	It's like the Waynesworld, not worthy, not worthy thing, but serious.
	Yeah.
	Whoa.
	Louisiana Priest, two dominatresses.
	I didn't know that.
	You had a C when you pluralized, Dominatrix?
	Charged with vandalism after Alter Threesome.
	Wow.
	That must have been pretty awesome.
	Melissa Chang, so she's a half-breed.
	And Mindy Dixon, who's a real vixen, were charged with vandalism.
	Sex toys and stage lights were recovered.
	Wow, he really went for it.
	At least they're not young boys.
	But yeah, don't do that.
	That's bad.
	Chris.
	I just realized that Gob Bluth and Biden's catchphrase is the same.
	Come on.
	Especially since he dropped the man at the end.
	And also the stuttering.
	Very beginning of the video, Gob says, I'm the president now.
	105, he stutters.
	Very beginning.
	What dad says?
	I'm the president now.
	Filling dad's shoes, literally.
	Except his shoes don't f ⁇ .
	I party with that guy one day.
	Hey, need a hand with that?
	Interesting.
	We terrorized this blackjack dealer because he was such a dick and we were losing money in Vegas.
	I said, can I ask you something?
	How did you get the nickname Mr. Grump?
	That was the same trip where David Cross asked a black man, Jerry Minor, if he has any sunscreen.
	And Jerry had to explain that black people don't wear sunblock.
	He did not know that.
	Oh, this guy.
	Yeah.
	His buddy threatened to blackmail me.
	I told you that story branded.
	Where he goes, I'm going to show your white supremacist friends pictures of us hanging out.
	Is that reverse blackmail?
	Framewatch.
	Can I pay you to do that?
	Yeah, fuck.
	Sure.
	Listening to Soph's latest show made me think about the latest trends these days.
	I keep hearing about parents concerned about their children being pansexual or trans.
	When asked if they think their child is mentally ill, the answer is usually no.
	This is because they see it as a trendy phase, in other words, fashion, as you usually say, and they hope it will pass.
	The parents are scared about possibly overreacting to their kids' trends and causing their kids to get mad.
	The kids take their anger towards their parents and decide to take it to extreme permanently, aka the fuck your parents mentality.
	I disagree with these parents.
	I am a parent, and I wouldn't walk on eggshells to be afraid to tell my kids what I think.
	If my kids get mad and decide to take their trend to permanent status, then they are mental for fucking up their life permanently.
	How far can this fashion trend go?
	If parents are going to be weak, will it hit cult status or serial killer status?
	Heather from California, not LA.
	Well, here's the problem, Heather.
	The state.
	What about the state getting involved and it's not up to you anymore?
	So your kid is 10, says, I want hormone blockers.
	You say no.
	And they go, I'm a female.
	I just saw a kid.
	A man was arrested for not calling his son she or for calling his daughter she.
	We didn't get to it today, but I think it was in Canada, the father misgendered his child and was arrested for it.
	Here, I got it here.
	Okay, there we go.
	Canadian father arrested this week violating a court order barring him from publicly discussing his child's gender transition.
	Oh, I see.
	So it was a contempt of court.
	It was a court order that he couldn't refer to her as anything, I guess.
	So he called his daughter she, and they took him away.
	So you can be as rational as you want, but when the state gets involved, and how many times have we seen them talk about the state deserving to get involved?
	Like that teacher who said, I gotta face, we gotta face it.
	Sometimes parents don't know what's best for their kids.
	Society has to raise kids.
	Hi, Gavin and Ryan.
	If you guys are still wondering where to final the QAnon post, the website is QAnon.pub.
	My sister, aunt, and mom are big QAnon fans.
	I don't understand it or care that much about it.
	If I'm being honest, most of it sounds like bullshit.
	Huge fan.
	Okay, here's the first time we've seen the website.
	Almost looks like a bunch of tweets.
	Number 195.
	So you click on one of the things, and it goes to like what looks like a...
	Oh, this is just one of their many links.
	Welcome to UK Research.
	See, I'm lazy.
	This looks like too much to fucking parse through.
	Nothing can stop what is coming.
	Nothing.
	Trust the plan.
	Shall we play a game?
	Nothing can stop what is coming.
	NCSWIC.
	And then that acronym is the Department of Homeland Security has the same acronym.
	NC.
	See, yeah, like, I don't give a fuck about all this.
	So that's proof that Patton is fucking kids because he ate a comic ping-pong pizza?
	I'm sorry, I don't have time for that kind of shit.
	But it's so funny that the left, this is a website that very few people know of, and the left just refers to you, me, Ryan.
	We're all QAnon white nationalists.
	This is the first time where I'm seeing this cue here.
	Too hard for me to read.
	I feel like when I look at TikTok or something, I'm like, I don't get this.
	Or that thing you sign me up for that I haven't used once.
	Club only.
	Oh, clubhouse, yeah.
	Clubhouse?
	I'm not going to sit and talk to fucking strangers who are going to call me racist.
	Richard Taverner.
	Admittedly, this is Ancient Chinese Secret, but just in case, thought this would be of interest to you.
	Some what would you do's are gold and deserve a green screen?
	Your waiter will be with you short.
	Thank you.
	Do you mind if I ask why you're wearing that jacket?
	I'm getting old.
	Didn't want to get sick.
	I'm sorry, maybe I wasn't clear enough.
	Why are you wearing that jacket with that on the jacket?
	The Civil War ended more than 150 years ago.
	Isn't that such a shitty art department Confederate flag that you'd never see anywhere in the world?
	It's an iron on made to look old.
	Are they about to say people still aren't over it?
	As in, like, well, slavery preceded that by a couple of years, so like, with that logic, people aren't over slavery.
	What are you talking about, Detective Shitty?
	They're going to get into an argument.
	Yeah, yeah, but someone's going to say, leave them alone.
	No, the narrative was just like, the Confederate Army was beaten 150 years ago.
	More than 150 years ago.
	But today, the Confederate battle flag continues to divide Americans.
	Sort of.
	The recent protests against racial injustice have jumped to the juice.
	I can't even believe that you made that.
	Do you think that's okay to go out with that in public site?
	Well, I'm from the state of Mississippi.
	Yeah, I'm just paying homage to my heritage.
	This customer wastes no time questioning that same heritage.
	He'll ask them, where are you all from?
	Where are y'all from?
	Michigan.
	Michigan?
	In Oregon.
	Yeah, I mean, they're not from the South, so you really wouldn't understand.
	But that doesn't stop these Northerners from having an opinion.
	It doesn't represent people in the South.
	If it bothers you, you can just look the other way.
	How dare you?
	How dare you tell you me to mind my own?
	Maybe I'm because I'm Canadian.
	I get so much shit for saying this.
	I don't get the Confederate flag problem.
	They were traitors.
	Okay.
	You know, when I was young, it was everywhere.
	Billy Idol had it on his guitar.
	At my wedding, we had a Confederate flag at the reception with an Indian on it.
	Indians love the Confederate flag.
	Wow.
	It means rebel.
	I'm not bothering anybody else.
	Hence, Billy Idol with Rebel Yell.
	It wasn't offensive in the 80s.
	It wasn't offensive in the early aughts.
	My heritage, my family, my state.
	With Phil unmoved, this Oregon native makes one final attempt to drive the point home.
	My family's German and I don't wear swatsing.
	Oh, you idiot.
	My family wasn't Nazis.
	Great analogy.
	I don't recognize that as part of my competition.
	I can't even believe that you made that comparison.
	That's where Phil draws the line.
	My family is not Nazis.
	That is a comparison.
	And both customers watch as he leaves, upset.
	I don't feel comfortable around this.
	I don't feel comfortable with your jacket.
	Yeah, your jacket sucks.
	What is it, like a five-year-old swim short design?
	Just think.
	I was at a bar in South Carolina once where there was a Confederate flag on the wall, and I was with a black dude who lived there.
	This is in Abbeville.
	And he goes, I go, how do you feel about that?
	And he goes, I fucking hate it.
	I can't believe it's on that wall.
	Ideally, the kind of stories I like is when he goes, I get it.
	You know, we had a Civil War.
	Fuck the North.
	That's what I would like the story to be.
	Your ancestors fought for what they believed in.
	That was the flag in which they held when they did it.
	Yeah.
	He was the guy who, him and his brother-in-law were raising the kid.
	They weren't gay.
	The mother, black mother, was a crackhead.
	No, sorry, the white mother was a crackhead.
	And the white guy was raising his daughter as a single dad, his white daughter.
	But he was so black, like black acting, he was white, that he wasn't into rap.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I told you about him, right?
	Like, he doesn't like all the cursing and rap.
	It's bad for our community.
	He's like Morgan Freeman black.
	Yeah, he was like a pull your pants up kind of wigger.
	You're making our race look bad.
	That ain't ours.
	Making the brothers look bad.
	And his daughter was named Neveya, like Heaven Backwards, which is a common black girl name.
	Gavin and Ryan have been...
	Oh, yeah.
	I was on that show.
	What would you do?
	You were?
	Yeah.
	I never showed you that?
	No.
	Pretty sure I did.
	Let's see.
	What would you do?
	And they have you coming in and being a retard, and they see if the guy, your boss, fires you?
	No, that's stupid.
	No, I was just...
	I was in the background.
	I had to catch a train, so I didn't sign the waiver, so I didn't talk to them, but I'm clearly there with my red hoodie.
	And I was one of the first people that...
	So you're blurred?
	No, I'm not blurred.
	But I knew it was a fucking act.
	I saw the earpiece in the guy's ear next to me.
	So these guys came up next to me ordering food.
	And I guess I'm in this group here.
	This last group.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, this group.
	I'm here with my red hoodie.
	There I am.
	My red hoodie with my hair.
	Wow, Ryan.
	Thanks for making that part of the show.
	Well, it's a small world, you know?
	That was amazing.
	And also, wow, you really were on that show.
	No problem.
	You were on that show, all right?
	They cut me out, and I spoke to them first.
	I was like, shouldn't you help them?
	Like, we're on break, and he took a bite of his thing.
	And I was like, this is a show.
	They're actor people.
	And I've seen that guy before in something.
	He's like some actor.
	Anyway, I've noticed lately that apologies do absolutely nothing to fend off the woke mom back in the day.
	A person could apologize sometimes and get their job back.
	But today, people just lose their jobs and look weak for apologizing.
	Too true.
	I would argue they haven't worked for a while.
	Although there was that woman who said her co-worker looked like a gorilla.
	They were a news team.
	It was a black guy and a white woman.
	And some gorilla did some cute thing.
	And they cut back to them and they go, he's adorable.
	And then she goes, he looks like you.
	And then she had this bawling apology, crying her eyes out.
	And I think it worked.
	But that girl, that Teen Vogue girl, she apologized.
	That didn't work.
	You want to support Roland Martin?
	I'm Biltrick.
	Oh, Roland Martin.
	We've had him on the show.
	Oh, yeah.
	So, of course, he thinks it's hard.
	Nice footage.
	Well, that's her apology.
	I said something yesterday.
	Don't take considerate.
	Don't inappropriate.
	And I hurt people.
	Wouldn't it be funny if the gorilla was wearing a suit with a purple tie and a white shirt?
	Exactly like that.
	In the watch.
	Fuck it, yeah.
	But not that the gorilla is going to look like him, but can we see the gorilla?
	Yeah.
	Crazy-ass white people.
	What in the hail?
	What the hell?
	Hail.
	Pretty bad, lady.
	I usually like to take the side of the person with free speech and all that, but he doesn't have a suit and tie on.
	He's close up.
	That looks like you.
	Oh.
	He didn't say yeah.
	Yeah.
	Wait, is it because he's always fascinated with the camera?
	There's no, there's nothing to defend her.
	Maybe if the guy was peering into the camera, they might have something.
	But wait, she's.
	She's wrong.
	She's wrong.
	But also, he said, yeah.
	Right after she said it.
	Yeah.
	Uh-oh.
	All right.
	Uh-oh.
	Anyway, I think she held on to her job.
	Wow.
	Well, because she looks weird, too.
	She's blubbering.
	Chris Harrison from The Bachelor is the best example of this.
	He gave this totally lame statement about how he's listening to people of color, and they still kicked him off the show.
	Sir, it's worse than that.
	He took classes.
	The guy is still being re-educated.
	He's in a re-education camp.
	We've got to get into that, man.
	Couldn't he have...
	They would be so freaked out when I walked in.
	Hi, I'm the leader of the Proud Boys.
	That is weird.
	We're not sure our powers are strong enough.
	It's like the end of Ghostbusters.
	That would be like Zog.
	You have to cross streams to defeat you.
	Couldn't he have not the Zionist occupational government, but the monster.
	Couldn't he have done that with Gina Coreno?
	Didn't spin this into a career move?
	Get involved with the right wing, who would be more than happy to host a canceled celebrity.
	I thought a great bit for your network would be censored.tv presents how to get canceled, as told by the most canceled man in America.
	You could make a guide as to how someone could navigate their cancellation, keep their dignity, and go on to start a new and prosperous career.
	I think a lot of celebrities out there don't know what they're doing and could really use your advice.
	Yeah, I mean, you just got to fucking...
	It's like getting dumped.
	The stupidest thing you can do when it girls over you is call back and go, this is getting harder and harder for me as I process it.
	I made you a mixtape.
	Yeah, make Twitter a mixtape.
	Yeah, just...
	And Twitter's like, why?
	Don't fear the Reaper on here.
	That's not romantic.
	Looks like the official Doors account is trying to say something.
	The Doors on Instagram.
	Whoever controls the media controls the mind.
	Jim Morrison.
	Are you assuming that's anti-Semitic?
	From Larry.
	I may have found the perfect girl.
	Let me know what you two retards think.
	Okay.
	Opening.
	Post your oversized fit, and then what's underneath.
	She's very attractive, but again, a little too.
	That's pretty amazing.
	Wow.
	I did something else.
	But I like him a little fatter.
	But I understand that if you young men, you love like perfect bodies, flat stomachs, perfect perky tits.
	We actually like a bit of meat on the bones.
	Oh, Jesus.
	Here's a guy from London who sent us this like 900-word email.
	Just do this.
	Before those words lost all meaning, I worked at MTV.
	So this guy's telling me that it takes up far too much of the day, and then he goes on to take up far too much of our time.
	No one was the least bit politically mainstream or cautious.
	It was fashionable.
	Yeah, that's when, you know, the late 90s, early aughts was when MTV discovered jackass.
	Best era ever.
	Then around 2010, something changed.
	The industry started filling up with marketing people, legions of idiots, blah, blah, blah.
	So the long march toward blandness began.
	I sure you know what I'm talking about.
	As things became slicker and blander, speaking asked by minimum management, where's all the award-winning stuff?
	I had to tell them that everything was now designed by committee to be broadly appealing.
	It was vanilla soup.
	I finally decided to get out after a four-hour discussion of the personality of a biscuit ended up with me being accused of being sexist.
	You know what I remember about advertising too?
	You'd come up with a hilarious concept, and then they'd inevitably end the meeting with, how are we doing for diversity?
	And then you go, I guess like the guy who gets the pizza could be black.
	There's some diversity.
	Then they go, well, now it looks like he's, all the white people are successful and he's just delivering pizza.
	Oh yeah, okay.
	I guess the homeowner is black.
	Oh, so he's black with a white wife.
	And then you just, you keep changing all these contexts by making it so racial.
	And now, what are commercials?
	We still got to do that.
	Sit and watch commercials all night.
	In a fit of frustration and anger at the torture of this ordeal, I suggested maybe he should be at home doing the washing up and ironing to subvert patriarchal normativity.
	This resulted in me being summoned to HR.
	I'm about to get fired and canceled.
	The worst thing about the far left is they forcibly move centrist lefty types like myself to the right.
	I couldn't be happier.
	I now run a successful business, have a beautiful family, never look back.
	As you say, get fired.
	So this guy just starts the letter with, your show's too long, and then proceeds to just give me his life story with no point.
	On a final note, the media business is full of women who thought that sacrificing a family and kids would be worth their career.
	They're now childless, unhappy, and hate on all the young women in the office.
	I was thinking that the old ones with dried up ovaries might warn the young women, but it's not worth it.
	They actively want everyone to be as unhappy as they are.
	Guy who always writes in saying we should do a Spotify playlist of all the songs.
	Okay.
	Hey, Gavin and Ryan.
	I remember you mentioned a book on the show about a dude who has some sort of captain or pirate.
	Yeah, I almost brought that in today.
	It's called Shackleford.
	Shackenford?
	He developed a few techniques on how to run an effective ship, and then they use it to run a business.
	Please, it's Shackleford's.
	Shackleford's Rules?
	What is it again?
	Boat Captain Forbes rules boat captain business rules Ford anyway.
	We'll dig that up later.
	I'll put it in the write-up.
	How's that?
	Boo-ba-doo-ba-doo.
	This guy recommends the art of war.
	Go fuck yourself.
	That's so boring and pedestrian and lame.
	Why don't you tell me to check out the sex pistols while you're at it?
	Why the fuck is everyone just letting them get away with using this phony baloney term, systemic racism?
	That's not what systemic means.
	They argue that unequal outcomes...
	Actually, wait, they don't argue this.
	They proclaim as fact from the Ivory Tower that unequal outcomes among racial groups is a result of a system, and the system that causes racial inequality is therefore systemically racist.
	That's not what systemic means.
	Systemic means throughout the system.
	And they know it.
	Systemic cancer doesn't mean you have a body that occasionally produces a cancer.
	It means you have cancer throughout your entire system.
	Yeah, that's what they mean.
	When they say systemic racism, they mean it's everything.
	Like where your fridge is, the quality of your fridge, the food you buy, this pen, the manufacturing of this pen.
	White people got more money from the manufacturing of this pen than blacks.
	Therefore, this pen is racist.
	Side note, highest suicide groups are Native Americans and white people.
	Wonder if there's anything to do with killing the whiteness in the child?
	With killing the whiteness in the child?
	What's that got to do with Indians?
	Hey, G. Doggin Rice guy.
	I was curious if you ever followed up on that chick from the infamous Gav vs.
	Feminist video.
	You seemed to crush her arguments.
	Yeah, I thought she would just retire after that.
	But I saw her appear with like a flag that had a Klansman on it saying Trump and the Klan go hand in hand or something at some rally like during the Trump era.
	So these people are not phased by logic.
	All right, let's hit the fucking final video.
	I found someone with the sprinkles.
	My wife watches TikTok and she'll occasionally send me someone who's magic.
	That's how I found out about that gay dude.
	And this guy is fucking hilarious too.
	Ladies, this buds for you.
	Animals that I just want to hold for like three seconds, but due to the nature of the animal, they will not let me.
	Little baby ducks, I understand that you're just a soft little baby bird and that I look like a big scary monster with sharp teeth, but that is not the case.
	I just want to kiss your little forehead.
	If I just plucked one of you out of the row, out of the row of all the little baby ducks, your mom won't even notice.
	It's gonna be fine.
	I will care for you like a goose.
	Wild rabbits are the temptresses of the feral animal world.
	For some reason, their defense mechanism starts with them standing still for about 20 seconds before bolting into the woods, which happens to be exactly enough time to make me think they're gonna give me a chance, but they never do.
	I know if I scratched your little head, you would just love it.
	You're living in ignorance.
	Tiny little baby bears.
	I think me and the baby bear would both have a great time, but sadly, Mama Bear would be hurtling at me at 35 miles per hour going straight for the juggler, but it may be worth it.
	I might fucking do it.
	Our baby seal's gonna look like this and then wriggle out of my arms at the first sign of affection.
	Forehead is perfectly shaped for sweet little kisses, and I know it's gonna be right in the nose.
	I don't care.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave and never stop fighting.
	In a second, you'll be wrapped around my finger.
	Cause I can, cause I can do it better.

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