GOML LIVE #88 | HELLO CALLER (Part 1)
We welcome a new sponsor and then take calls the ENTIRE show!
We welcome a new sponsor and then take calls the ENTIRE show!
| Time | Text |
|---|---|
| This is not the song. | |
| I'm glad I'm not a girl. | |
| Oh yes, it is. | |
| Sorry, I think that's enough. | |
| That's enough of that hardcore cacophony. | |
| That was the meat men from Where the Meet Men and You Suck, and that song was, I'm Glad I'm Not a Girl. | |
| I'm Glad I'm Not a Girl. | |
| Sung by That was Tesco V singing there. | |
| That's him right up there. | |
| Oh shit. | |
| That's Tesco V. | |
| I knocked over the animal. | |
| We did a off the record with this. | |
| We did. | |
| We did. | |
| I just, I chose that album because, and I'm sure this is prevalent in my description of Where the Meet Men and You Suck, but it was just a time, a different time. | |
| A time when you could be rude. | |
| Gangrene, the hardcore band, would have their whole cover would just be Budweisers. | |
| And you could be politically incorrect. | |
| It wasn't right-wing or left-wing. | |
| Sure, most people were lefties. | |
| You know, you listen to clash lyrics and they sound like a bunch of fucking Shea Giver socialists, but that doesn't mean that the other side wasn't permitted. | |
| Now it's not permitted. | |
| If you have a band and the drummer, like say the singer of Trapped or Michael Graves, if they express an opinion that is not totally radical left, communist, anarchist, which I can't believe those two words are considered the same thing now, you're done. | |
| That band is over. | |
| BBQT is over because they use the word savage in a song. | |
| What? | |
| You may notice I'm wearing a fun sweatshirt that I bought in honor of Detective George Kakavale. | |
| I don't want to disparage him by getting the name wrong. | |
| Maybe Casavalle, but Casavalle. | |
| This was a guy who was shot a long ass time ago. | |
| I think in the 80s, he was a detective who was shot dead. | |
| And then they had a canine unit named after him. | |
| So his daughter thought, well, that's cool. | |
| I'm going to make sweatshirts for this canine unit because it honors my dad. | |
| And so she did. | |
| They take a long time to get made now. | |
| I'll explain that in a second. | |
| And they flew off the shelves because this woman wore it to a new Rochelle high, a Bronx high, Yonkers high, somewhere like that. | |
| And the teacher said, no, you can't wear that here. | |
| And she goes, why? | |
| Because of this? | |
| No, because of this. | |
| The blue line, that flag, it makes black people feel unsafe. | |
| So teachers and students are not allowed to wear this sweatshirt. | |
| So it promptly sold 8 million copies. | |
| Wow. | |
| I'm exaggerating, but it sold probably 5,000. | |
| Did very well. | |
| Still well. | |
| Because everyone's just buying it. | |
| My problem with it is I don't like sweatshirts where you can't unzip them. | |
| You know what? | |
| It's got to be fucking cold out to wear this. | |
| You're right, but that looks way better than a zip. | |
| What is on your head? | |
| That looks better than a zip-up. | |
| Did my mom knit that? | |
| Somebody's mom did. | |
| I got it off Etsy. | |
| But this is the perfect color for me. | |
| I have a brand, Nopey Up, that you might not know, but I use both of these colors. | |
| And so when I saw this hat, I said, you know, I sought it out, actually. | |
| And it fits perfectly. | |
| It's the perfect green for me. | |
| Are you disgusted? | |
| Disgusted is a compliment. | |
| I wish I was disgusted. | |
| Yeah. | |
| That should be your goal. | |
| I was actually make it too disgusted. | |
| You know, I just knew there was no way that that would be good. | |
| So I'm confused. | |
| I'm just trying to dig in. | |
| It's such a shitty hat, too. | |
| It's so obviously a handmade. | |
| It looks like the shitty hats my mom sends me in the mail. | |
| No offense, mom. | |
| But those suck. | |
| I like that. | |
| Look at it. | |
| Clearly. | |
| Look at it. | |
| Like, look at the stitching. | |
| It's just so cheap and homemade and stupid. | |
| I like it. | |
| I like that it. | |
| You can expand. | |
| You put it around, you know, you stretch it and it stays. | |
| It's actually better quality material than I'm wearing one of the coolest sweatshirts in the world, literally in the world. | |
| And you're wearing one of the gayest things in the world. | |
| Well, see, that's the problem. | |
| I didn't know that you would be wearing such high caps. | |
| We have a new sponsor, Tactical Walls. | |
| I'd like to welcome our new sponsor, Tactical Walls, to the Censored.tv family. | |
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| The trophy of me and Ryan, I don't know why Ryan gets to be a war movie veteran. | |
| I'm a war movie veteran. | |
| You haven't seen enough war movies to become on literally the same pedestal as I am. | |
| Well, I've seen Saving Private Ryan, and my name is in the title. | |
| Yeah, I saw Saving Private Ryan stoned. | |
| I was purple heart for that. | |
| Oh, I was stoned when I saw it too. | |
| I was stoned every day of my life until about a couple years ago. | |
| Oh, really? | |
| On what? | |
| Marijuana? | |
| Yeah, I was smoking. | |
| Marijuana. | |
| I've smoked a weird. | |
| I definitely saw it high, and it was. | |
| So Tactical Walls has tactical walls, like you're seeing here, where you can make a mount for your guns. | |
| You can also have, they have like baseball mounts and stuff where you have all the baseball bats and your helmets and shit. | |
| But then they also do these cool shells and shit. | |
| And I'd like to show you one that they made, particularly for the show, specifically for the show. | |
| You ready for this? | |
| Y'all ready for this? | |
| Did you know that you're not famous? | |
| I knew it. | |
| Did you know in the song, Yo Ready for This? | |
| That's the only lyric. | |
| Y'all ready for this? | |
| Dan, dan, dan, dan, dan, dan. | |
| That's it. | |
| Huh. | |
| the only lyrics to y'all ready for this are y'all ready for this no that's not true There's a yeah. | |
| Hey, kids, want to get dad's guns? | |
| You can't get to dad's guns. | |
| It won't open. | |
| Hey, thief, you want to get dad's guns? | |
| You can't. | |
| won't open. | |
| Oof. | |
| Oh, isht. | |
| They can't hear you. | |
| You can't hear me? | |
| No. | |
| Now it won't close. | |
| You move it over here. | |
| You can hear the latch. | |
| You hear that? | |
| Magnetic latch? | |
| I move it over here. | |
| Pretty fucking cool, huh? | |
| Let's just do that one more time. | |
| Shot glasses there. | |
| Mini makers there. | |
| Move it away. | |
| Close it up. | |
| Pretty dope. | |
| Kingsman level cool. | |
| He's the guy who invented the phrase, thank you for my service. | |
| That's great. | |
| This guy rules. | |
| Tactical Walls. | |
| TacticalWalls.com, promo code Gavin15. | |
| We welcome our newest sponsor. | |
| We have a fun idea for a show today. | |
| what particle board mounts will give you sawdust residue I'm not going to lie. | |
| Some of the boards will give you dust. | |
| Sometimes the complaints will be fusty. | |
| Like when he goes false. | |
| The reason that show was such a hit is because he was really enjoying himself. | |
| You could tell. | |
| The bloopers are better than the show. | |
| He was having a great time. | |
| Oh, fuck. | |
| I haven't been working out because of these cracked ribs. | |
| I feel like I live with Pontius Pilot and he's in a bad mood every time I want to fucking move. | |
| So we have a fun idea for today's show. | |
| We're just going to wing it. | |
| And I don't mean wing it in that we'll just go through our topics. | |
| I'm saving my topics for tomorrow. | |
| We've got a lot to talk about with Dr. Zeus being canceled and obviously Mr. Potato Head and all of this bizarre world we're living in. | |
| We have tons of footage of my pet Biden being an absolute adorable little clown. | |
| But I'd rather just sort of try to plow through calls for a change. | |
| I got to get back home early. | |
| So if people are annoying, I might just end this show incredibly early. | |
| And if they're scintillating, we might go more than two hours. | |
| But people always complain they can't get through on the call days. | |
| And the freeloaders who listen to this show never hear calls because we do calls after. | |
| So let's give them a taste at calls. | |
| That's cool. | |
| Let's have a call up. | |
| And we're going to shut people down way quicker than before. | |
| So when I say thank you for calling, throw them to the wolves. | |
| In fact, you should probably play the interstitial. | |
| Thank you for calling. | |
| Ah, here we go. | |
| You are on the air. | |
| Mute have a conversation. | |
| This is a fucking loser. | |
| You know, I'm here to learn, share, listen, understand why. | |
| Hey, why does everyone get two things? | |
| You have one thing. | |
| Thank you for calling. | |
| It's great hearing from you. | |
| Bye-bye. | |
| All right, next call. | |
| By the way, I've quit hard liquor for Lent, and I'm starting just now to get a buzz from beer. | |
| Nice. | |
| I don't know what, when I say just now, I don't mean this second. | |
| I mean like this far into the Lent. | |
| Your tolerance is going down. | |
| My talents is finally down where I can pass out from drinking beer. | |
| But it's still just like at the end of the night, you feel like that blueberry chick from Willy Wonka. | |
| And then you go to bed and you just wake up every two hours and piss like a racehorse. | |
| But you're never slurring or anything. | |
| I could have driven a jumbo jet last night and I had probably seven beers. | |
| Why don't you show your Donald Trump? | |
| Okay. | |
| Okay. | |
| So I told Ryan to get this impression app so he could be as funny as Kyle Dungan. | |
| The problem is they don't have a lot of people. | |
| They have all these new people. | |
| Right? | |
| That's true. | |
| So the selection is either super hack people like, you know, Christopher Walken or like, you know, Tyler Laudry, some kid that's TikTok famous or something. | |
| And then you got, you know, President Trump on there and some others. | |
| But, you know, the good thing about what Dunnegan does is I can replicate that. | |
| I just thought he doesn't use the Impressions app. | |
| He uses Snapchat. | |
| Oh. | |
| So I could do that on Snapchat. | |
| So with Snapchat, you find the face and then you put it in. | |
| Yeah. | |
| So it could be my face. | |
| Yep. | |
| Have you seen these Tom Cruise deep fakes? | |
| Yeah, they're creepy. | |
| Dude, you could have a sex tape of you fucking a kid and just go, that's not me. | |
| Yeah. | |
| This is going to be a boon for active pedophiles. | |
| Or any kind of sex tape. | |
| Like they go, you're cheating. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| Show me video proof. | |
| And then they show you and you go, that's not me. | |
| Show the Tom Cruise deep fakes because they are effing amazing. | |
| I mean, right down to the wrinkles on his forehead. | |
| That's what I don't get. | |
| I saw an AOC deep fake where she was blowing a dude and she says in a perfect AOC voice, don't you better not come in my mouth. | |
| And it is perfect. | |
| But if you concentrate really hard, you can kind of see a different tone of skin here. | |
| You need to like squint your face off and you may be able to notice it. | |
| But this is even better than that. | |
| This is disturbing. | |
| Oh, is this someone writing about it? | |
| God damn it. | |
| Why can we never have the thing? | |
| Here we go. | |
| ... doing some magic tricks on TikTok. | |
| What if we told you the man in the video is not Cruz, but his deep fake? | |
| You guys cool if I play some sports? | |
| This one. | |
| Look, hats and stuff. | |
| Yeah, and waving the hand in front of the face. | |
| And my hand in front of the face, and then the darkness of a hat. | |
| No, there's a new one that's the best one. | |
| The newest one I've seen was the magic one. | |
| You got newer than that? | |
| Yeah, I think it's, yeah, he's on the golf course. | |
| No, that's older than that. | |
| Oh, that's shitty. | |
| No, the magic trick's better than the golf. | |
| Like that. | |
| And you did declare shit. | |
| Jesus Christ. | |
| They couldn't show the clip, could they? | |
| I got it. | |
| No, we've seen that. | |
| We just saw the magic clip, shit for brains, and we saw the golf clip. | |
| Why are you going backwards in time? | |
| What was that top one? | |
| That's why. | |
| Oh, what's up? | |
| It reminds me. | |
| I was once in Russia. | |
| I ran into Gorbachev. | |
| He said, you know, Mr. Movie Star. | |
| Why do you nervous? | |
| I said, no, Mr. Gorbachev, I'm not. | |
| You're a silent. | |
| He goes, well, remember how much a polar bear weighs? | |
| I said, polar bear? | |
| He said, enough to break the ice. | |
| It's the last time I've ever seen. | |
| We're in the future. | |
| We are in the fucking future. | |
| This is a Blade Runner shit. | |
| Like, they could use that to, you could kidnap someone and say that your kids are fine while they're dead. | |
| You could do anything. | |
| You could have someone, you could have Trump faking the election, meeting with Putin. | |
| Yes, thank you for helping me fuck the election. | |
| Here, show us your Trump. | |
| It's really, really good. | |
| I think this is the good one. | |
| Nope. | |
| This one. | |
| For too long, the liberal media has been censoring and silencing great writers such as Ernest Hemingway, Ernest Borgnine, and Ernest Ghost to Kimp. | |
| And did you see what they're doing to Dr. Seuss? | |
| I mean, I don't like him, but it's unfair. | |
| Very unfair what they're doing. | |
| Maybe that wasn't like that wasn't the one. | |
| You're always wrong. | |
| Without exception. | |
| Don't show the others. | |
| They're just why did you upload all three? | |
| Because I couldn't tell which one was which. | |
| See, when it, yeah. | |
| You delete the shitty ones. | |
| You absolute retard. | |
| That's how you do things in life. | |
| Well, I do. | |
| I want to keep them all because there's one thing in two of them that I really could. | |
| One of them, he goes, and I don't like him. | |
| It's green. | |
| Great ham. | |
| I kept that for that little nugget. | |
| And then the other one, there's something else that I did that I want to put them in one video. | |
| He couldn't have gone like blah, blah, blah, good in the write-up. | |
| There's no write-up. | |
| Oh, yeah. | |
| In the actual description of the thing. | |
| Dot move, whatever it is. | |
| Yeah, I know what you mean. | |
| I can't look at that hat. | |
| How much did it cost you? | |
| I think it was $10. | |
| And the woman probably spent like a year knitting that. | |
| It's like puka hats. | |
| Oh my God. | |
| I have to relive the punch every time I sneeze. | |
| You don't need Advil, do you? | |
| No. | |
| It's still going, still going. | |
| I don't take medicine unless it's fun medicine. | |
| Then it's pretty cool. | |
| Menroll, Johnny Apple CBD. | |
| Thank you guys for being here since day one. | |
| We hope Tactical Walls stays as long as Johnny Apple CBD. | |
| This episode is brought to you by our proud sponsor, Johnny Apple CBD. | |
| My brother called me the other day. | |
| He said, I overdid it on the leg day. | |
| It's weird. | |
| When you have an upper body working out, I don't know. | |
| I could lift a hundred houses and be slightly tender the next day. | |
| But any kind of squats, or we do this thing in the gym where you hit the guy's gloves, bok, bok, bok, bok, and then you squat down and you squat, you go up. | |
| So you're going up and down like this. | |
| Maybe two rounds. | |
| That's only six minutes in total with a break. | |
| The next day, you're walking down the stairs like the ground is lava and someone's putting broken glass up your ass. | |
| Like you go, you become a nustrat fata alikan, a kawali singer, just going up and down stairs. | |
| I don't, why is that? | |
| Legs are more sensitive than arms, I guess. | |
| Anyway, he had a bad leg day. | |
| He put CBD on his legs, the topical, Johnny Apple CBD, from these commercials. | |
| That's how he heard of it. | |
| And he goes, it fucking worked. | |
| Miracle drug. | |
| So you can ignore the tincture and the gummies and the cookies and all of that stuff. | |
| Try the topical when you have sore muscles. | |
| Just try that one thing and you will freak out. | |
| They've been with us since day one. | |
| Go to Jacbd.com, or you can go to Johnnyapple.com right now and show them the same support you show us, even if it's a small purchase. | |
| Get the cream, get the topical, try it on your sore muscles, treat yourself. | |
| Promo code gavin. | |
| Now to be clear, for Tacticalwalls.com it's promo code gavin15, but for Johnnyapple Jacbd.com it's just the word gavin, the name Gavin, 20 off all orders. | |
| Thank you, Johnny Apple CBD, for sticking with us through Covid. | |
| God bless Johnny Apple CBD and, of course, god bless America. | |
| I just got real sniffly. | |
| What are you doing? | |
| Nusrat Fato Talidan. | |
| Nusrat Fata Ali Khan, buddy. | |
| You're getting the name wrong. | |
| And if you're going to play Kawali singers, then maybe not get the musical part. | |
| What's his hit? | |
| Oh, Nusrat. | |
| He's dead now for being a fatso. | |
| He had a little bit too much jabuti. | |
| Come on, you lazy prick. | |
| Get up. | |
| Is Indian like Chinese in the sense that the way you pronounce it matters? | |
| Like you can't go TikTok as well. | |
| TikTok? | |
| I don't think so. | |
| I don't know. | |
| Every time I try to Mandarin and maybe Aboriginal Taiwanese are the only things where there's Bob, there's Bob, there's Bob, and there's Bob. | |
| And they all mean either I'd like to get some money for the train or I fucked your mother. | |
| Hot shit! | |
| So you got to be careful. | |
| Yeah, I try to steal your in other words. | |
| It's a stupid language. | |
| Jamaican, Scottish. | |
| I don't care if you're speaking English, I can understand you. | |
| Chinese, dude, in China, they have subtitles on their shows in Chinese. | |
| So you're watching Chinese, you are Chinese, and there's Chinese subtitles. | |
| You know why? | |
| Because their language is so fucking hard that 62-year-olds who were born there are still trying to get the edge off, still trying to master it. | |
| They haven't quite nailed it yet. | |
| Are you sure Jamaican? | |
| Because I hear a lot of Jamaicans, and it's like, what? | |
| You know what I mean? | |
| Two loaves of bread and one milk. | |
| See what I mean? | |
| See what I'm saying? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Well, obviously, like, there's degrees, but generally, if you listen to Jamaican news, you know, local cable access, you're going to follow it. | |
| But when we got that guy, Guan Shatu loaf of bread and one milkina. | |
| Can I comment on one of the things you said earlier where you were allowed to be edgy and stuff? | |
| I watched Rush Limbaugh on Donahue, and just it's fascinating just because, you know, I was never really familiar with Rush. | |
| I just knew he ruled. | |
| I never really got around to hearing him. | |
| But this was amazing. | |
| You know, and the crowd. | |
| Borat was there. | |
| I have a question about my wife. | |
| They're all ugly, huh? | |
| Anyway, so half the crowd clapped when they were shitting on him, like calls were shitting on him. | |
| Half of them clapped when he made good points. | |
| And they were all there, was no ferocity. | |
| It wasn't like Jerry Springer, where they're like, boo, fuck yeah, yo. | |
| Canceled forever. | |
| Yeah, it was so refreshing. | |
| Do you see what Dr. Zeus is canceled for? | |
| He had drawings of like, I said I wasn't going to cover the news, but like a Chinese man eats with sticks. | |
| And it had this stereotypical 1800s Chinese guy, which was like 100 years off, I guess, in the 1950s, whenever he made that. | |
| And the guy's running in old traditional Chinese gear, and he's using chopsticks, eating from a bull. | |
| Yeah. | |
| They did. | |
| They do. | |
| They still use chopsticks. | |
| And then he had some Arab guy on a camel. | |
| Okay. | |
| But it's so funny with a lot of these racist caricatures. | |
| That's what they look like. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Like, I'm sorry. | |
| What about fucking any Disney movie, Mulan or throwing the blacks there? | |
| The blacks? | |
| Yeah. | |
| To your left, Ryan. | |
| The blacks. | |
| The blacks. | |
| Oh, that's supposed to be blacks. | |
| What did you think they were? | |
| I thought those were monkeys. | |
| Okay. | |
| So blacks do not look like that. | |
| That is a hyperbolic exaggeration. | |
| But, you know, some super duper black people sometimes resemble some of that. | |
| It's a cartoon. | |
| It's a joke. | |
| It's a joke. | |
| You know, there was some gender stuff in there, too, like, mommy is a he. | |
| Oh, no, mommy is a she. | |
| You can be a mommy, bah, ba-ba. | |
| You know what I noticed about older pictures of him? | |
| His nose is fucked up. | |
| But you can't look that up because he's got so many little rhymes about a nose that if you look up Dr. Zeus' nose, you get lost in a bunch of nose shit. | |
| I want to find out what happened to him. | |
| Mulberry Street. | |
| Bunch of fake Puerto Rican wise guys in rent-controlled houses living above cheap, shitty, touristy Italian restaurants. | |
| That's Mulberry Street. | |
| Charlie Kirk pointed out that Obama was like, Obama's all over. | |
| Anything you have to, you want to learn, you can learn from Dr. Zeus. | |
| Now I'm saying Zeus. | |
| Because you said Zeus. | |
| What do you call him? | |
| Dr. Zeus? | |
| Dr. Zeus. | |
| Oh, I say Zeus. | |
| I understand that. | |
| Does everyone else say Zeus? | |
| I believe. | |
| I've never heard Dr. Zeus, but you know, the way you say us is us. | |
| I don't want to make you self-conscious, but you say us. | |
| Yeah, that's Canadian. | |
| Okay. | |
| I'm damn proud of that. | |
| I'm not changing it. | |
| I'm not asking you to. | |
| Let's take some fucking calls. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Hopefully from Canada, eh? | |
| Fucking some guy smoking a dart fucking got a 2-4 there of Molson Canadianist. | |
| John. | |
| What's up, John? | |
| Uh-oh. | |
| John wandered from the phone, it appears. | |
| John Juan. | |
| John, are you there? | |
| 1-1000. | |
| Oh, shit, he hung up. | |
| Thank you for calling. | |
| Damn, John. | |
| Who's next? | |
| Train. | |
| What's up, Train? | |
| I think people assume we're not going to take calls till 10. | |
| Is this on me? | |
| Hello. | |
| Hello? | |
| Oh, he's listening to the show. | |
| I just heard him say, what's up, John? | |
| Correct. | |
| Check, check. | |
| John, you man? | |
| I'm switching. | |
| Okay, wait. | |
| Check, check. | |
| Check, check, check. | |
| Is this you fucking up now? | |
| Why switch it to this? | |
| The other one's supposed to work. | |
| Oh, this is embarrassing. | |
| Does this work? | |
| I can hear you. | |
| Can you hear me? | |
| Hello? | |
| I'm not. | |
| Sorry, I'm not John, so I'm not John. | |
| I'm sorry, you're not John. | |
| You're not John, and you never will be. | |
| No offense. | |
| I don't want to be John. | |
| I'm Strang. | |
| Hi. | |
| Hey, I've never called into any show before, so it's kind of odd. | |
| But I'm actually calling because like a month ago, you talked about Andrew Yang living in New Paltz, which was news to me. | |
| But I found it sort of striking that you thought New Paltz was a shithole, and then you asked Ryan if New Paltz was a shithole because you thought he lived nearby, which he did for some period of time. | |
| And I can understand why Ryan might be considered an expert on shitholes. | |
| But don't you have to not live in a shithole for a while to understand that what you're living in all the time in Newburgh and the Bronx is worse than other places? | |
| Yeah. | |
| I understand what you're saying. | |
| You know what? | |
| I'm sorry. | |
| Are you from New Paltz? | |
| Is that your beef? | |
| I would party in New Paltz pretty often. | |
| We play some shows there. | |
| I'm your lone viewer from New Paltz. | |
| Can assure you that there's no one else in this town that actually subscribes to censor.tv. | |
| Wasn't there a shooting there recently where the cops shot a black dude for being an asshole and there was riots? | |
| Did you hear Gavin's question? | |
| He was asking, wasn't there a shooting there and there was a bunch of riots, like a cop shooting? | |
| No, there was no cop shooting. | |
| I mean, there are Newberg. | |
| There was a guy I went to high school with that shot up downtown. | |
| Oh, in Newberg? | |
| I think, yeah, I think it's Newberg. | |
| It was Newberg. | |
| All right. | |
| Well, thanks for calling. | |
| We'll try to be better in the future and give New Paltz a break. | |
| I love New Paltz. | |
| But you called it a shithole. | |
| What's worse, New Paltz or Newberg? | |
| Oh, my God. | |
| Newberg. | |
| For sure. | |
| New Paltz is a college town. | |
| It's something I heard about Newberg when I moved upstate was it's a great place to get really cool vintage furniture because it's all blacks and they don't care about mid-century modern. | |
| They don't know what that is. | |
| They'd rather just go to IKEA. | |
| So there's all this really cool furniture and it hasn't been scooped up by gays and liberals because they don't live there. | |
| Yeah. | |
| And we got an amazing piece of furniture. | |
| It was sort of like this. | |
| It had a sliding door and it was tiered like doot, doot, doot, like a staircase. | |
| And we put it next to our staircase. | |
| And it went boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. | |
| And it had like, you open it up and this mini bar came out and it was lit. | |
| Sick. | |
| It was literally lit. | |
| All right, next call. | |
| Newberg is in Murder Capital. | |
| That was Newberg. | |
| Yeah, they got some violence. | |
| Newberg. | |
| Eddie, rather. | |
| Yo. | |
| Yo. | |
| Can you hear me? | |
| Yes. | |
| Hey, I just wanted to say, I see y'all haven't talked about it much, but at all, really. | |
| Did you guys hear about the shooting at the gun range in Meta Real, Louisiana? | |
| Yeah. | |
| Oh, you did see it? | |
| Okay, I'm not sure. | |
| I don't really care about it. | |
| Or AIU or somebody. | |
| Should we care about it? | |
| Oh, yeah, it was bad, man. | |
| Some freaking black guy went into the gun range and they told him basically, man, you can't walk in here with that load of gun. | |
| And he said, oh, well, fuck you, and just shot two people and injured a few others. | |
| So he only killed two people? | |
| He killed two people and injured a few others. | |
| What I want to do he ultimately died. | |
| Did they take him out? | |
| I mean, because these are people with guns there. | |
| Like, you would figure that's a well-protected place. | |
| Absolutely. | |
| Like, all total, like, eight of the people shot at him. | |
| Nice. | |
| It was wild. | |
| They got video of it. | |
| Yeah, I saw the video. | |
| I didn't even include it in the show notes. | |
| I just thought, who cares? | |
| It's only three people. | |
| I mean, that's a pretty normal evening in Chicago and New York. | |
| Louisiana's got bad crime, though, right? | |
| I mean, I'm not talking about it, not like talking about it, not a situation like that. | |
| I mean, sometimes they shoot at each other in the hood, but I mean, just something random like that for no reason. | |
| It seems a bit much. | |
| It definitely is a bit much, but I just thought it was crazy. | |
| It was in the grand scheme of things. | |
| It didn't really. | |
| I don't know why I didn't really give a shit. | |
| Thanks for calling. | |
| I mean, there's so many horrific murders, black on white crime that doesn't get talked about. | |
| Like, you know, some black dude killing his white girlfriend's parents. | |
| And if the races were reversed, it would be the biggest story on earth. | |
| But like, if you look at right-wing Gringa's Instagram feed, and she'll just occasionally include some of these brutal fucking sadistic murders. | |
| And you think, why isn't this ever reported? | |
| Because it doesn't fit the narrative. | |
| Oh, fuck. | |
| You make one spelling mistake. | |
| Remember, there was that. | |
| Ow! | |
| There was that cup there. | |
| There we go. | |
| That's exactly what I'm talking about. | |
| Unprovoked fatal shooting of Denver mom. | |
| Or there was that couple at Wisconsin U. | |
| They were both professors at the University of Wisconsin. | |
| They were murdered on a nature trail. | |
| And it was because they had objected to their daughter dating this black dude. | |
| Not because he's black. | |
| It's fucking Wisconsin. | |
| They blow black people for free on every street corner. | |
| But because he was a psycho killer, Keskas say. | |
| And he murdered them, killed them. | |
| And there was all this controversy and what happened to them and blah, blah, blah. | |
| We all knew what happened. | |
| And it just doesn't get reported on. | |
| So when there's a shooting at a gun range, I don't know. | |
| You know what? | |
| I think I'd rather these sadistic crimes get reported. | |
| Sounds like he was going there to shoot people. | |
| I mean, because he goes there with a loaded gun, you know, and I mean, it's hard to believe that somebody who wasn't trying to kill people that day gets into an argument and then just then just does. | |
| Let's take another call. | |
| Jim swearing. | |
| Jim, you're on the line. | |
| Hi, Jim. | |
| Hello, my bed wedding buddy. | |
| And Father Felcher of the Fest Zone. | |
| I sent you a link over. | |
| I know you probably don't care about Canadian politics all that much, and I can't really blame you. | |
| Even though I'll probably run as a candidate in the spring if there's an election. | |
| Hey, whatever happened to your girlfriend that you're going to marry? | |
| Jim. | |
| I might. | |
| Yeah. | |
| Jim? | |
| What happened to your girlfriend? | |
| I haven't talked to her in a little while. | |
| I might not be able to collect that C-note that you offered up. | |
| Oh, looks like you're not getting married after all. | |
| I haven't made contact recently. | |
| I've been a bad online fiancé. | |
| Anyways, Prime Minister Cuck Trudeau wants to. | |
| Wait a minute. | |
| I've been a bad online fiancé. | |
| So you guys are still engaged in your mind. | |
| You just haven't been attentive enough. | |
| Well, I don't know, bro. | |
| I don't know how to describe it. | |
| It's a long-distance relationship. | |
| I know how to describe it. | |
| Complete bullshit, which is what I called when you first brought it up. | |
| Anyway, thanks for calling, buddy. | |
| Oof. | |
| And that's the end. | |
| Harsh. | |
| That's the end of the free portion of our show. | |
| So you can see what it's like when you pay. | |
| This is what happens 10 to 11 Wednesday nights, usually. | |
| You got a taste of it from 9 to 9:35. | |
| And if you don't like the calls, it's really just an hour a week. | |
| And we do two hours a day, Monday to Thursday. | |
| And then there's about 32 other shows. | |
| We've got tons of new shows coming, new contributors I'm reluctant to talk about, like Jar and also Michael Rain. | |
| And of course, the inimitable Raw. | |
| That's three big deals. | |
| Oh, and of course, Draw. | |
| Those are all, I can't understand what you're saying. | |
| So the two draw and then a mark and a rot. | |
| That was close, but that's four shows coming. | |
| Damn. | |
| So I'm off on the weekends, but the weekends are going to be busy as peas because busy as peas. | |
| What was that supposed to be? | |
| What was peas going to be? | |
| I don't know. | |
| I just, they seem busy. | |
| It's a lot of fun. | |
| Don't they? | |
| Peas when you put them on a plate and they're all rolling around and peas. | |
| It's not like a piece of pork that's just like laying down there. | |
| I drank beer. | |
| I like beer. | |
| Peas zip around. | |
| They seem busy. | |
| Anyway, so we're going to continue the show, obviously, but this is going to be behind the paywall. | |
| So the free portion is over. | |
| You're done. | |
| Don't turn that into a Zeke Heil by lying on your back and taking a picture upwards. | |
| Get fired. | |
| Get in trouble. | |
| Be well, I like to end the show with sort of a summation, a positive trait. | |
| And I guess what I would say about the next four years, if you're not a liberal, is let's just watch the show. | |
| Sit back, relax. | |
| Let it's kids' day. | |
| I give my kids Kids' Day once a year. | |
| They play video games till three in the morning. | |
| They eat Lucky Charms till they barf. | |
| They feel like shit the next day. | |
| I let them see what life would be like if they had no parents. | |
| And it's pretty fun for a while, and then they feel terrible because they abuse themselves. | |
| And that's what America's doing for the next four years. | |
| They're abusing themselves. | |
| So sit back and enjoy it. | |
| Don't worry about Joe Biden bombing Syria. | |
| We don't live there. | |
| Just go, there's my pet Biden, my silly little turtle man, up to his old tricks again. | |
| You know, I had the kids watch The Equalizer with Queen Latifah, and I was saying to my daughter in front of my other boy, because I'm hoping he sort of understands it through her. | |
| And I said, honey, TV is obviously all shit. | |
| It's all garbage. | |
| But when you can appreciate garbage, TV becomes fun. | |
| And now you and I can watch The Equalizer and point out all the thousands of holes in the plot and make fun of the way they're dressed and the ridiculous fight scenes. | |
| That's fun. | |
| Now all the shows are fun. | |
| Even the commercials are amusing. | |
| When you learn to appreciate shit and see the tackiness of it, I guess you'd call it irony, all of a sudden the whole world of entertainment opens up to you. | |
| So I think the next four years are going to be incredibly entertaining, folks. | |
| Let's enjoy watching the liberals get exactly what they asked for, which is a shit show. | |
| It's going to be funny. | |
| It's already very amusing. | |
| We have daily laughs at Biden's gaffes. | |
| And then, of course, in four years, we'll get DeSantis or Matt Goetz or maybe even Trump back. | |
| And we won't have to apologize for it because they'll see what happens when they're in control. | |
| In the interim, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting. |