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March 8, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
30:59
S03E82 - RESPECT YOUR ELDERS (Part 1)
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Time Text
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McGuinness.
These eyes cry every night for you.
That was originally the guess who, eventually Burton Cummings.
Cummings or Cummings?
When he went solo.
Why go to school anymore?
I was listening to these eyes in the car on Saturday, Sunday, Sunday.
And I thought, fuck, that's a good jam.
And then I was curious about the vocalist Burton Cummins.
Is it Cummins?
Cummings.
Cummings.
I was curious about Burton Cummings.
He's from Winnipeg, which is fucking freezing, folks.
When I meet someone from Winnipeg, I go like this.
Hey.
It's like, thank you for your service.
You live inside of an ice cube.
It's intense up there.
But Randy Bachman and Burton Cummings both came from Winnipeg.
And they're both some of the most prolific songwriters in the history of time.
And as I get older, I get more and more reverent about songwriters and what a rare skill it is, especially people who can write a bunch.
There's so few human beings like this.
Taylor Swift is one.
Sorry, but she is.
Tom Petty?
Tom Petty?
Shane McGowan of the Pogues.
You think, oh, these are all old Irish classics.
No, he wrote a ton of those songs.
Very few of them, in fact, are old Irish classics.
But when you look up Burton Cummings' hits, there's like fucking 12.
Now, I've heard that you get about 400 grand a year for a hit.
Like, what's that police song?
Every Breath You Take?
I heard that Sting just gets $400,000 a year for that.
So when you have this many times half a mil, that's some pretty good.
So what are the ones we recognize?
Go to the top.
Are these all his hits?
Stand tall.
I don't know, Break It To Them Gently.
I don't know.
I'm Scared.
Wait, I don't know these songs.
I will play a Rhapsody, I guess.
I kind of know.
These aren't his hits, Ryan.
It says highlights.
Yeah, that doesn't mean they're his hits.
American Woman was him.
Oh, wow.
She's come undone.
Stand tall.
Don't be too small.
What else is there?
Can you just say that?
When a man loves a woman?
This is his greatest hits.
2017, his greatest hits ever.
Of 98 songs.
You ain't seen nothing yet.
You just ain't seen nothing yet.
I think that's him and Randy Bachman.
Like, She's Come Undone was Randy Bachman.
And I saw this great documentary on the weekend about the Go-Go Girls.
And they talk about how towards the end, one of them saw one of the checks that the bassist got.
And the bassist was a songwriter.
And they were fucking huge.
They were making probably $100,000 a night playing shows in the 80s.
And then they see this guitarist get a way bigger check, and they were all pissed off because they haven't really been taught to revere this incredible skill.
The reason you guys are on tour is because of We Got the Beat.
And it's hard.
There's a doodle doo-doodle.
It's not just a riff.
It's doodle, doodle, doodle, doodle, doo, doodle, doodle.
All the kids go walking down to school.
We're standing in line.
We got the beat.
We got...
That's a whole other thing.
All of these songs too, like she's coming on bop and dooding daba doo bada.
So what's that?
Great jams.
This is a great documentary.
What's it called?
It's called The Go-Go's.
Came out in 2020.
We are the first local band that wrote their own material and played their own instruments to be really successful.
In the course of a year, we have gone from playing cardboard to Madison Square Garden.
There never would have been the both of us without the punk rock scene in Los Angeles.
Anybody could do whatever they wanted.
It was total freedom.
The punk scene, a little bit of a game.
Play the way you wanted to play, and you were accepted.
People used to cross the street when they saw me.
I felt powerful for the first time.
When they asked, hey, do you play lead guitar?
I figured I'd play bass.
That chick on the bass, Charlotte Caffey, she wrote most of the hits.
Okay.
These songs.
Roger Daltry was really pissed at Pete Townsend because he's like, I want to have my hits.
Why do you get all the money?
And Peter goes, okay, write me some hits, dude.
And he wrote a bunch of shit songs.
We played them on the show the other day and they suck.
He's got two songs and they reek to high hell.
It's fucking hard to write a song.
So the guess who is American Woman, right?
That was 65 to 75.
They were fucking huge.
Randy Bachman of BTO with taking care of business, working overtime.
When they were on The Simpsons, Homer Simpson kept yelling, get to the working overtime part.
Like the, what do we call those?
Come sail away with me, lad.
Vocal garnishes.
Yeah, vocal garnishes.
Get to the vocal garnish.
Spring feed!
We're going to play all your old favorites.
But first, we'd like to dip into our new CD.
Taking care of business.
Don't worry, sir.
We'll get to the docking.
No new crap.
Taking care of business now.
Get to the working over time, pop!
Just the one part, yeah.
So, yeah, Randy Bachman left the guest 2 at their peak in 1970.
You know why?
You'll never guess in a billion years.
No cheating.
I don't know.
They were irreligious.
They were partying.
They were doing Coke.
They were fucking chicks.
It's against Christ.
So then he left.
He started a family band.
And then eventually he started BTO Bachman Turner Overdrive.
And they had a ton of hits.
And they got to do...
Look at that guy, George Strombalopoulos.
Then they got, is that him?
And we were selling millions of records, and we were making thousands of dollars a night, and the traveling was good, but it was starting to take its toll with each guy, you know.
And I guess each guy, at the time there were four of us, and each guy kind of reached his limit at a different time along the way.
And I think Randy just couldn't hack the traveling, for one thing, because he's more of a family man than the other three of us are, or were, or whatever.
I mean, that's the...
I didn't hear what he said.
He just came out and said that every guy dealt with the success and the schedule their own way.
At a certain point, you couldn't hack it because you're more of a family man than they were at the time.
Well, to be away 90 days and have a weekend at home.
You know what's happening?
You go home.
When BTO got cooking in the late 70s, they were playing every single night for years.
So it doesn't really hold up.
Maybe because it's the partying afterwards.
They would do the partying.
He gets to go home after.
Did you know they once had a deep-fried rat?
Pardone?
BTO were at Kentucky Fried Chicken, and a rat had fallen off one of the pipes into the deep fryer.
So as they're going through their chicken, there's a fucking rat in there.
Is that one of those like Richard Gere gerbil butt stories?
No, it's a true story.
They tell it.
You've written some songs, right?
When up was down and down was up and life was all a crazy game.
Yeah, I still write some songs.
Let's hear a melody.
Well, you want to hear some of my newer stuff?
No, I don't want you to show me some dumb beats.
I want like a song, like taking care of business.
But that's not my song.
When up was down and down was up.
What was that one?
Oh, I'm not going to sing that one.
Yes, you are.
I'm passing through the days where I couldn't care less.
If anyone saved me, now I see we see the same way.
But I never would have met you, never would have hear.
You know, there's Bachman.
Then they did it.
You ain't seen nothing yet?
Well, that's a weird ending.
No, I'm just now.
Do you have any other songs that you can sing?
I have recordings.
No, no, that's boring.
That's just you noodling away with fucking Guitar Hero or whatever.
I don't do acapella.
I mean, they don't do a cappella either.
I mean, if you've got those guys in a room, you say, go ahead, sing your song and be like, I mean, I don't have a guitar.
What am I?
A joke?
I've written a ton of songs.
I only have the pieces of them.
Do you want to hear them?
Yes.
This is what I've been working on for probably 20 years now.
It's a country song.
Diddle-dling.
Maybe you could get your guitar.
Okay.
Do you know the chords?
No, it's just...
So just like have like a ding-dling-ding dling.
I don't know.
Just play music in the background.
This song is about other countries moving here to America or to the West in general.
And how the Bible says in the Tower of Babel that we should all have our own areas.
So regular little country beat here.
Yeah.
So first do it like a Yeah.
I love you, China, with your...
No, it's much slower.
I love you, China, with your mountains of snow and your centuries of history everywhere I go.
I love you, Africa, with your deserts so wild.
First man came through Egypt and he crossed the River Nile.
But stay where you are, stay where you are.
I'll stand here on my land, stand here strong on my land.
If you stay where you are, stay where you are, stay where you are.
You can come here for a holiday, but then fucking stay where you are.
And then jigga-jang.
Doom, boom, badoon, da-ba-da-ba-doo, doom, badoon.
And then it's uh, okay, but we'll do that.
I love you, Mexico, with your dip.
And then I have not done that part yet.
But I'm gonna do like, I love you, Mexico, is a puerto ballar.
It's always puerto ballar with you.
If you listen to the other, the reggaeton, every time you do Japanese, it's I think it comes from my son, Johnny.
When he was a little kid, he was ruining the kid's toothpaste by pouring water into it.
I have this on a video somewhere, and I go, what are you doing?
And he couldn't speak English at the time.
And he goes, oh, ches cho baya.
That's better than the isa fat.
It just sounds like English.
And I sort of went, I could tell his tone was, this isn't what you think.
I'm being innocent.
So I just went, oh, okay, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Ches cho baya.
I also wrote the middle of a song.
It goes like this, ready?
It's kind of like Len.
Those guys are like, steal my sunshine.
It's that kind of a song.
And it's like, did you get caught when your heart got caught in the dark?
You don't even have a stop.
Ha ha.
And you, and you, and that's all I got there.
Sometimes that's all you need.
And then when we were away in Europe in the early 90s, going on a punk tour, staying in squats and hitchhiking, me and my buddy Steve, the guy I told you about last week who threw firecrackers and had a concerned citizen on his tail, we said,
let's write the gayest song we can.
And so I had a song with Tina Turner and Brian Adams, and it was like, When I look into your eyes, I see the smile that's there.
Cause I need you now more than ever before.
Cause I need you now.
You know, I'm crying out for more.
When I look into your eyes, I see the smile that's there inside of me.
When I look into your eyes, I see the smile that's there.
Cause I need you now, forever be forever.
It just keeps on going.
Because I need you now.
Yeah.
It's almost like a.
That's what I don't get about songwriting.
I get how you come up with a hook or a thing.
How do you get out of it?
But that's like, now you got to add 40 other things?
Your thing just kept going.
Yeah, I just thought, okay, I got it.
We're done.
Like Lou Reed says when he wrote Vicious, he goes, Andy Warhol came up to me and he said, you hit me with a flower.
You should know he goes, Andy Warhol came up to me and goes, you should do a song about Vicious.
And Lou Reed's like, what do you mean?
He goes, just, I don't know, like, be like, you hit me with a flower.
And Lou Reed was like, the song wrote itself after that.
Like, how?
That's funny.
And then Steve's song was good.
It was, but it was so good.
It was so gay that I go, I hate that song.
And he's like, we had a fight about it, actually.
We kind of got on each other's nerves on that trip.
But we had a fight where I go, that song is fucking gay.
And he goes, that's what we were trying to do.
What, my gay song's too shitty?
And I go, yeah, it makes me feel bad.
He goes, that was the point of the exercise.
He was right.
But anyway, this is his song.
I'm looking for something and I don't know where.
Yeah.
Rip jeans and wavy long hair.
You got to do it.
You know it's the time.
Pull up your socks and find your line.
That's the worst part.
Oh, find your line.
I was like, ah.
I was almost with it until.
And then don't forget that you can't start.
Oh, yeah, that's the song I wrote last year.
And all I have is this chorus.
You can't start a fight with the petty bone.
You can't start a fight.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, you can't.
And then there's a part in the middle where it's just, you can't start a fight with the petty bone.
You can't start a fight.
That's pretty cool.
You can't start a fight.
I'd say keep the lyrics.
I know Pettibone's like a work in progress word where you want to replace that, but.
I've tried other words.
It doesn't work.
So it's about trying to fight Raymond Pettibone.
I don't even know if that's how you pronounce it.
Might be Pettibon.
I don't know if that's a man.
And I don't know.
Yeah, he's a painter.
He did the Sonic Youth covers and all that stuff.
Black Flag record covers.
He's a very popular artist who's not very good at drawing.
Not very good at it, if you will.
Getting good at it, if you will.
Did you hear Chip Chipperson's song?
It really reminds me of your friend Steve's song.
Find your line.
Exactly.
Like that same type of thing.
It's like someone pulling a long thread out of your butthole that you ate.
Find your line.
It really made me cringe.
By the way, good news, folks.
Nita Fashions, where I get my outfits from, is sending me new shirts today.
Wow.
So I'll be able to do the top button without having a panic attack, which is as close as I can get as this.
So we'll be back to ties soon.
That is fun.
And they also took out the waist in all my suits.
I shipped them back.
They did it for free.
And then they made maybe two shirts that were like $50 each.
I want to try them on before I buy a bunch more.
And then they shipped them back.
So the shirts were like, they weren't free.
But they altered my suits.
They had added four inches already, so it was easy to take them out.
But they did it for free, but I had to pay for shipping.
And that was to Hong Kong.
So that was $380.
You're kidding.
No.
$150.
$190.
That's a pain.
There's a pain.
Let's hear chips on.
Keys to the kingdom of my heart.
And if you put the keys in, my heart will start.
You got the keys to the kingdom of my heart.
And if you put the keys in, my heart will start.
I remember the someday that we met.
You bet.
I'll never forget.
I was walking round with my heart locked up.
Wishing there was a key because my heart was locked up.
I got the key to the kingdom of my heart.
And it can put the kingdom.
How many views does that have?
Actually, only 315.
They made it unlisted, but I had looked at it when it first came out, so I guess I have access now.
Why is it unlisted?
Maybe he's a shame.
Maybe you put on his Patreon.
This one has 173 views.
I don't think people know this exists.
I love Jim Norton.
I like him more than a friend.
We've had arguments in the past, but he's man enough to say, what's your beef with me?
And we had a one-hour fight where he didn't want me on the Opi and Anthony show because he was worried it would make Shane Smith mad.
And he just got a gig with vice.
And so he claimed that he just didn't want to be surprised with something he couldn't back up.
And I said, that's bullshit.
And that was our fight for one hour.
Anyway, that was many, many, many years ago.
Probably 10 years ago now.
But I have nothing but respect for the guy.
And I told him they're going to cancel your show, by the way, immediately.
So you're going to regret this.
And I love his comedy, and I listen to all his specials, and I text him when they're on, and I go, that was hilarious, whatever.
This reminds me of that, whatever.
We talk sporadically.
I cannot get into Chip Jefferson.
I don't get it.
It doesn't fit in my head.
It's like homosexuality.
I understand that other people like to suck each other's dicks, but I just can't get it in.
And I don't even understand when people are on that show, I don't get like, who are you?
Like, does Anthony, when he's on the show, he pretends that that's Chip?
You participate with Chip, yeah, you interact with Chip.
Well, that's annoying.
It's like drag queens.
Like, you don't know if you're supposed to be them.
Like, what's he saying right there, for example?
Go back.
He's showing you all the different Jim Norton characters.
Send him a cameo.
Or if you want some extra Kipperson, join Patreon.
We got all kinds of great stuff.
You get the podcast a week early.
We do some live Zoom hangs.
And I got a horror film I'm working on.
It's really scary.
Is anybody in here?
You!
Nora!
I know it's bad, but I don't get it.
It's like nihilistic.
It's like, it's supposed to make you exhausted, I believe.
So much of Tim and Eric, too, is like, we're going to do really shitty public access, cable access show, and we'll laugh at how bad they are at TV.
It'll be like a crappy, homemade, low-budget commercial that sucks.
Yeah, those suck.
I remember, I think it was Andrea Martin from SC TV, or maybe it was Catherine O'Hara.
After a while at SC TV, they go, we're getting kind of sick of making fun of terrible television.
I want to make good television.
So I, sorry.
I don't get it.
It's like drag queens.
When you're with drag queens, you're like, are you you now?
Or am I talking to you?
Or are you a hot mess?
Do you mind if I call you Tiptoenail?
Tiptoe Nail.
Some B-roller.
Key and Peel is still the gold standard of humor.
I guess I didn't watch the show that much.
And now that I've checked it out on YouTube, it keeps showing me different Key and Peels.
And the algorithm is working to my favorite Thank You algorithm.
I'm very happy with it.
I'd never seen this War of the Magical Negroes.
And Ryan had never heard of a Magical Negro.
Not that term.
You know why?
Because he watches Lilo and Stitch.
No, I didn't.
And Toy Story.
So his movie repertoire is all children's movies.
So he's not familiar with this trope.
Can you believe that?
I love all movies.
Dark movies.
Dark movies.
Dark movies.
Light ones.
Please, this is the worst possible time.
Please don't do this.
Babe?
Wow, you really gave up on that marriage pretty easy.
Huh?
Can I take your garbage?
Yeah, sure.
You know, I find the more garbage in the can, the better it feels to dump it all out.
Perfect.
I suppose that's why we let it.
This is why, like, I was, I'll get to her in a second.
I was listening to the Comedian in the Car, and I was just reading it, listening to it, going, you tried.
Like, that garbage in the can joke is such a perfect representation of what's in these movies with these magical Negroes.
It's always like that.
And you guys sat and you worked on that sketch.
I can tell you worked on it for a long time and you just wanted to get it just right.
And you did, but it keeps getting better.
You're so fooled in the voice place.
Foist place.
So we can start over.
Here to fix the copier?
Yes, sure, sure.
Hey, how did you...
Sometimes things ain't really broken.
It's the way we treat them that needs to be fixed.
Fixed.
Like, surely you saw Denzo Washington in the movie with Jim Carrey where he's God and he's a janitor.
Yeah, no, I was thinking.
I was thinking about compiling all the magical news.
I'm familiar with the trope.
The one I was thinking of was like an hour.
No, no, obviously, you know, Green Mile, but then there's the black guy in Bedazzled.
He turns out to be God, believe it or not.
And he just comes out from the bottom bug, smoking a cigarette.
He's like, you know.
And, you know, it always starts with some wisdoms.
And then this is what white liberals want blacks to be.
Magical little silly prophets who come, drop some wisdom, and then vanish and don't send their kids to your school.
And they always have like a lowly lot in life.
It's like, yeah.
Yeah, they're out of sight, out of mind.
Like, go ahead, clean my garbage, say something wise, and then fuck off.
You're magical, but you're also a janitor.
Yeah, it's basically the way they were seen in like the 40s and 50s.
Like, get on stage, do a funny dance with some white gloves, then fuck off.
Go back to your little fucking area where you have, you choose someone based on their toe.
You know what I'm talking about?
In the 40s, they'd have these toe parties, and there'd be a curtain, and these women would have their bare feet there, and you would pull on a toe.
Wow.
And that would be your date.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
It's kind of fun.
Yeah.
Who the hell are you?
What's going on with this?
Are you connected to the internet?
Yeah.
Oh, you have to be.
Guys, the important question is, who are you, Steve?
Well, if it isn't Mr. Stander, Carl.
Anyway, they have a duel.
We're not going to sit here and watch the whole sketch, but they use employ more and more magic, battling each other.
And just the way I told you, the reason I like Trump is because I like his fans.
I like the people at Trump rallies.
You can tell the Key and Peel are good by their comments on YouTube.
All of the comments here are high-quality jokesters.
What do they say?
Well, I saw one of them goes, Carl's right, he was their foist.
Blow it up a bit.
I can't really read it.
Dr. King smiles.
They were kicked out of Hogwarts.
Stanley's right, he was their foist.
What's Stephen King novels?
Go up to the top, though.
There was one who had a great, great quote.
She goes, It's sad that, yeah, now the copier is broken and there's trash everywhere.
Consequences.
Optical flares for the wind.
Oh, I love this one.
How so many girls talk to each other in the dating pool.
You need to find your own troubled white boy.
What are those replies?
You'll need to widen your search parameters.
May I offer you a troubled exotic yellow boy from the Orient?
I personally prefer a badass chick, but I'll check your recommendation.
Literally, me.
You'll find him on 4chan.
Good luck.
Anyway, keep going down to the other ones.
I love this guy.
Who is canonically stronger, Carl or Mr. Stanley?
People usually cite the fact that during the final struggle, Carl needs the assistance of Chesterfield, that's his cartoon bird, to be equal with Mr. Stanley.
But what people don't realize in the manga, it's clearly stated that Carl is actually a Conjurer Nen user, while Stanley is in an emitter who specializes in the type of projectile-based battle we saw here.
Carl's own emitter techniques, plus the power from Chesterfield, his own creation, was able to go toe-to-toe with a master emitter in his own comfort zone.
That's scary.
Next time they fight, I hope Carl uses his signature ability million talents to summon his army of Chesterfields.
I think once he plays to his strengths, he'll win.
That is a masterful comment.
And, you know, we've been talking about comedy and how some people just have the magic sprinkles.
And there's people who don't.
Burt Kreischer is an awesome guy.
I love his comedy.
He's making bank.
It's one of the most popular comedians in the country.
And it's just a testament to working class America and how if you bust your ass, you don't necessarily have to be magically talented.
Like Burton Cummings probably has 10 million bucks in the bank just from songs, right?
That's not including live shows.
That's because he's incredibly talented.
But there's plenty of people out there who are working their ass off who paid their bills and just aren't really good.
Like what's a really successful band that doesn't really have any good songs?
Or Rich Voss.
Rich Voss isn't that funny, but he's a hard worker and he busted his ass and he's got a career.
But what's a band like that where they don't really have any hits, but they just keep chugging along?
Song workhorses.
Yeah.
You know, I guess Guide to By Voices are kind of like that.
Cold play, they force hits.
So what they'll do is they'll pick the hits.
Creep.
That's a hit.
They got, you know, an all-yellow.
Oh, no, that one.
I'm thinking of radiohead.
Yeah.
Anyway, the percentage of people who can write songs, I'm going to go with maybe 0.1%.
And the percentage of comedians who have the magic sprinkles is similar.
It's almost once a generation.
But I keep discovering them and I see, because I have special sprinkle eyes, which I would appreciate if you made that my nickname from now on, sprinkle eyes.
Old sprinkle eyes.
I have sprinkle eyes and I can look and scour the deep dark web and I can find people and I'm like, I smell sprinkles on this person.
Not just hard work.
Like this homo from the south, what's his name?
Brian Jordan Alvarez.
Brian Jordan Alvarez.
I don't think he's a hard worker at all.
I think he likes goofing around with his sister.
He probably works at Quickie Mart.
And his shit is so fucking golden.
Here, just go down a bit.
Not that one.
Not that one.
Here, click on that one.
Southern restaurant manager just got to work.
That light is so bright, y'all.
Did anybody make the tea yet?
Malcolm, did you make the tea?
I'm going to do paperwork in the office.
Don't make me mad.
Why did I take this job?
My God, why did I take this doc?
That's just to show you what his face looks like and what his range is.
Not that one.
Not that one.
Look at this one he just did.
This is the first one I ever saw of him.
Quality.
Hey guys, it's Eric.
I wanted to tell everybody about some new options available at the salon today.
We are doing a skin refresher.
So if you are having something where your pores are showing, maybe you're kissing your boyfriend and you are showing your pores a lot, a lot of black head, we can do a deep cleanse and a deep strip that pull that,
all the impurity out of your skin.
And then we do a hot stone on top and give you a head massage as well.
And then we put you in the tanning bed to kind of bake everything.
And when you come out, you're gonna look like a new person, I swear.
Come by the salon today.
Darlise is doing lashes, she's doing cuts.
I am doing the skin treatment.
And if you don't believe me, I am a patient of the skin treatment as well.
Oh, wait, you gotta see his British guy.
Keep going.
That is just a real guy somewhere.
Wait, these are all different people.
What are you doing?
You left Brian Alvarez.
I'm sorry.
What's going on?
What have you done?
Let's go back.
I'm getting annoyed.
Okay, there we go.
So go down, go down.
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