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Feb. 23, 2021 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
02:05:55
S03E77 - FUCK THE USA
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That was Dupello Chainsex, a punk psychabilly jazz rock ska band from the early 80s.
This is back, I bought that record back when we didn't have, you weren't allowed to listen to records before you bought them.
So you just look at the album and go, this looks like punk.
I'm going to spend my $14.99 on it.
And you ended up with some real shit.
Like a lot of industrial.
Meatbeat Manifesto, I ended up with because the cover looked cool.
A band called Scraping Fetus Off the Wheel, I ended up with because the band sounded cool.
The Revolting Cocks and their albums, their single, Steers, Beers, and Queers.
Shitty, industrial sucks.
And if you like it, you suck.
Unless, of course, you're what's his name?
Who's our guy?
Made over.
Made over.
So he seems to be back.
He's not in his trailer anymore.
Gavin, or should I call you Gav?
Oh?
He's awesome.
Yeah, he likes industrial.
That's the band.
I was talking about the album covers.
Yeah, that'd be great.
Oh, ooh.
Texas is a place.
See what I mean?
So you just get these albums and go, this looks punky.
And it's fucking industrial.
But Tapella Chain Sex had a cool album cover.
They were a strange hodgepodge of random musicians that used to play LA bars in the early 80s.
The singer was a British guy who was just...
There, there it is, top left.
That's the album.
I bought that because it said, what's the difference?
And it had Hitler and Reagan.
We all hated Reagan when we were teens because you're supposed to.
And punks are about conforming, and that's what you did.
It's weird to have a little kid on the cover.
That's kind of gross.
Look, baseball, hot dogs, apple pie, Chevrolet.
You can stuff them all up your ass.
There was a commercial around at the time that said, baseball, hot dogs, apple pie, Chevrolet is these wonderful things.
But isn't it funny how we're listening to a British immigrant, an immigrate, come to LA?
He's in a band.
He's having a great time.
He's wearing jeans with the ass cut out.
That was his trademark.
He had a blue mohawk.
And he's singing about how much America sucks.
Not that dissimilar from Linton Quasi Johnson.
Oh, there it is.
That's funny.
So that, when we were teenagers, especially as Canadians, because Canadians aligned with Britain more than America, you're like, fuck America, man.
Fuck.
Go back to that.
This is what I fucking hate.
You know what I hate?
You know what makes me sick as a punker?
Stop.
A bunch of happy kids playing a baseball game together and learning about teamwork and competition and winning awards, winning trophies, and going to Cooperstown, the Baseball Hall of Fame for the World Series of Little League,
and parents hanging out and cheering on their kids, and the little kids who aren't part of the game playing with a soccer ball in the background.
I hate that.
Secondly, I hate a family getting together and having a nice picnic, enjoying the great outdoors with no TVs anywhere, just the radio on playing cool, I guess, 70s music and getting to know your kids, kids you haven't seen in a while because they've been playing and stuff and watching TV and now you're spending some call time with the family.
That's gay.
Wait, you're going too fast.
I hate the whole team getting together, combining the first two, I said.
So the baseball stuff at the beginning, the camping stuff, and then both baseball and camping combined, where I guess we're at a tournament, we couldn't get a motel, so we're going to stay intense for this tournament, get to know each other, get to know the other moms and dads, and the kids can play in the stream and then play baseball in the day.
That's for fags.
And diversity.
Black guy there.
Is he a black guy or is he just a badly lit guy?
No, he's black guy.
Like our fight yesterday where the guy changed races 12 times.
Okay, what else do we hate?
And of course, brand new, beautiful cars with nice square edges and incredible performance, real muscle to them, real beautifully crafted cars you could fix yourself if you were in trouble that are made in America.
Yuck.
At a friend's horse ranch, where if you're bored of riding the car around, you can go ride a horsey for a while because your friend's generous and he's rich.
Yuck.
Anything else you got that's going to make me barf?
Again, that's number three.
Oh, and a bunch of people who believe in Jesus Christ and devote their lives to God and to helping people.
People who accept Christ in their hearts with such unconditional love that they've devoted their entire lives to God, the man who created the guy, the thing that created the universe.
And what do they do with their time?
They try to impart that joy to other people.
Fuck them.
They can suck a dick.
What else you got?
What, wait.
Oh, some family that grows their own chickens, raises their own food, no additives, no preservatives, eats eggs, self-sufficient, loving family, not divorced with their kid.
Everyone helps out on the farm.
Fuck them.
Yuck.
And what else do we have?
That same shitbox of a fucking car that's not even good for the environment.
Taking the family, who's been, by the way, been camping and farming and churching and baseballing, all that stuff, right?
And then for fun, we've got a few bucks left over.
Let's go get you some cotton candy.
You can ride on the merry-go-round and we'll go on the tilt-a whirl.
That's so fucking lame.
Fuck America, man.
Oh, yeah.
And by the way, while we're shitting on America, fuck all the people who help clean our cars and help maintain them and help keep everything looking good and sweet and new and show respect for the things that we've procured that we work so hard for to have.
And also, this is obviously a younger man's car, so he's using it to court ladies.
So fuck courting ladies and getting married in the first place.
Fuck being young and rewarding yourself with something that you worked really hard for.
That's fucking lame.
You can stuff that up your ass.
What else can you stuff up your ass?
Oh, how about fucking old people coming to the game?
Grandparents supporting their grandchildren, driving their own American-made car, wearing a sun hat to avoid getting skin cancer, staying together forever.
One of them, her husband died.
They didn't get divorced.
Loving each other and being there not just to support the grandchildren and the children, but also being there to support each other as senior citizens.
That you could stuff up your ass.
What else do we got?
So much shit in this fucking commercial.
I'm so glad I told them all the fuck off when I was a 14-year-old punk rocker.
I wasn't falling for this bullshit.
I didn't buy it for one second because I'm smart and a rebel.
And this is all fucking lame America bullshit.
Look how lame that is with their trophy on their car that they bought with their hard-earned money, spending time with their families.
Ew.
Oh, and there we go.
Back to the self-sufficient farm where they grow organic produce to sell at the local market with no additives, maybe a bit of bug spray on some of the leaves to avoid the entire crop being decimated or the strawberry patch getting eaten by deer.
There's a few preservatives, a bit of pesticides on those.
Otherwise, there'd be no strawberry patches that year.
Fuck them.
Fuck their chickens.
Fuck that woman and her loving husband.
Fuck all those hot chicks having a great time playing baseball.
I should be careful.
I might be talking about 14 year olds.
It's hard to tell in the 70s who's illegally young.
They look, besides the Asian girl, they all look like 30.
But the Asian girl looks eight.
She could be eight or 80.
It's hard to tell with you people.
And yeah, when I was in high school, guys had mustaches.
Did you have any mustaches at your school?
I just remember the first kid that had a mustache.
It was in first grade, a Mexican kid.
First grade?
Whoa, dude.
First grade.
Yeah.
That's eight.
Dude, yeah.
It might have been, it might have been.
No, not kindergarten.
It was first grade.
Yep.
And it was a big deal.
Yeah, it is.
That should be in the Guinness Book of World Records.
Fuck them.
We already told them to fuck off in their beautiful house that's spotless.
Stop bringing in more American cars and showing us all this awesome shit that looks really fun and wholesome and healthy and good for everyone remotely involved, including the car wash guys.
God, what the hell were we talking about with punk rock?
I don't need to be middle class.
Why, so you can have a backyard and a pool and a car with a two-car garage.
Yeah.
That sounds great.
Maybe some jealousy there.
Could we watch Mets games from the pool?
Is there an outdoor TV involved?
Or even Crass, my old buddies who have since X'd me for being a terror spouse.
Let's listen to some of their lyrics.
Like they have this song, Red High Heels.
I've got 5-4-3-2-1.
I've got a red pair of high heels on.
It's this feminist anthem about how disgusting it is to see women as sex objects.
And she's like, thrash me hard.
Grab my wrists.
Promise not to fight.
Beat me with your fists.
Tease me.
Tease me.
I won't get away.
In my red high heels, I'm some easy prey.
I'll be your bonsai, your beautiful bonsai, your black-eyed bonsai, erotically rotting.
And as a 14-year-old, I was like, yeah, she's not your fucking little sex slave.
Now as a 50-year-old perv, I'm hearing the lyrics going, that is a sexy song.
Why aren't you looking it up?
I was going to play.
Oh, that's great.
I'm glad you weren't doing that.
So what is that again?
Red high heels, crass, lyrics.
It's meant to mock the way we see women as sex objects, but as an adult male, you listen to that song and you're like, this chick would be fucking fun to fuck.
Did you put in the word crass, Ryan, you genius?
Yeah.
Red high heels crass.
Don't do a funny accent if you can't do your job.
Burkatex bride.
Bada, oh, okay.
Burkatex bride.
Burkatex bride.
Oh, bada motel, maybe?
Bada motel, I believe.
Right repression high heel.
Yeah.
Bada motel.
I don't know what that is.
Swing bada, bada, bada hotel.
G Vaucher, she had these sexy red high heels that were like Spanish flamenco shoes, and I could tell they gave Penny Rimbeau a boner.
Penny Ramboner.
Jump ahead.
I'm yours, yes, I'm yours.
Push me hard.
Make me stagger.
That's pleasant.
Okay, you're mine.
Okay, here.
Okay, I don't want to slice your fresh.
I'm not Marilyn Manson.
Crash me crazy, I'll rise from the wreckage as fresh as a daisy.
That feminist anthem is a feminist boner.
Speaking of boners, I have a new dream girl I've been stalking as a simp.
1-1.
She's got a Kirstie Alley vibe, which is, I'm at my peak right now, but I'm going to be very fat soon.
You can tell by the hands.
Over the weekend, Chloe Kardashian posted a photo to Instagram, which was meant to promote the fact that her brand, Good American, is launching shoes.
Let's be honest, the photo showed everything but the shoes.
It was her.
You see what I mean?
Is that your cup of tea?
She's beautiful.
You know, she's got a bit of a gunt.
Oh, she's she's a bad person.
And that's going to get outrageous after three kids.
But don't have, don't marry her.
Wait, first of all, she is hater and dumper.
I mean, the balance there is hygiene.
As long as they're hygienic, it's just, you know.
Well, I would want to have her gastric bypass before we got married because this is perfect now.
Perfect body now.
Everything about her is perfect now.
And when she wears makeup, she's an absolute fucking raging 10.
And then when she doesn't, you're like, yep, we can work with this.
Click on her name.
Tea with Publicity, I think she's called.
But keep going down.
That's just her elbow.
Okay.
Wait, go up, go up.
That's no makeup.
Oh, wait, that's makeup.
No, but that is no makeup because I used to.
I used to love using filters on Instagram stories.
They made my nose smaller, my lips bigger, my eyes more fierce.
But when I didn't have one on, I started to not like my face anymore.
I felt like my nose was big.
My skin wasn't smooth.
I had dark circles under my eyes.
Do you see that?
No filter?
Smoke show.
So I decided to quit them altogether.
I've been filterless for a few months and have never found a lot of people.
Look at how hot she is.
You know what she reminds me of?
Is Kirstie Alley.
And Kirsty Alley did become a fat pig.
But wait, go back, go back.
Let's indulge ourselves more.
Let's simp out.
What was No Simp Sundays?
What was it?
You weren't allowed to be a simp for a while.
September.
Wait, look at that one.
She's got quite a range.
Like, she can be a supermodel, young Janice Dickinson, young Cindy Crawford at the Academy Awards.
And then she can just be like sweatpants, Netflix bender, like farts in bed.
But even in the latter category, you're still like, yes, Palazze.
She has a little plussees.
Plusicity.
But you can tell right there that her gunt is not like ridiculous.
Do you think she's Italian?
Jewish?
Italian Jewish?
That's not the best picture of her, but I'll still deal.
I don't know.
She reminds me of Eastbound and Down's girlfriend.
Remember that chick?
Oh my God, I was in love with her.
She was Benanskers.
I had a thing from Megan Mulali once.
She got real fat, too.
Maybe I'm attracted to women who are ticking fat cuss.
They're on the cusp.
On the cusp.
No, remember, you saw her tits in that show, Eastbound and Down, but they weren't her tits.
No.
That woman, if you look at young her, she used to be like a, what's that?
Maxim.
She was like a maxim model.
She was insanely hot.
I didn't want her then.
And I don't really want her now.
Now she has a sitcom where she's a housewife.
Katie Mixon.
Yeah.
Yeah, she's in my top ones.
That one we just showed, publicity, she's like you see a bunch of other girls and people go, so what do you're waiting?
You're back with what's her name?
Publicity.
So go up.
What's her actual name?
It doesn't say.
But people go, wait, you're back with publicity?
And I'm like, yeah, we're happy together.
I thought you were dating that supermodel.
Yeah, she was boring.
Not that I would be dating supermodels, but you know what I mean?
Look at her there.
Like, that's a wife.
You just got to say, please don't get gigantic.
And then if she does, you went, oh, well, I said please.
I'll live.
Uh-oh, she's getting kind of big there.
Let me see the other one.
We're drifting into the arena of the unskinny.
Oh, that looks pretty good.
We can work with that.
There's always some trickery afoot.
Yeah.
But yeah, yeah, she's a beautiful gal.
Megan Mulali, I don't know why.
Ew, you like her?
You know who she's married to is Nick Offernan.
I know.
Yeah, Nick Manny.
I think he's gay.
I think he's a feminist.
She's a huge fag superstar, like the new Liza Minelli.
And they don't have kids.
And when he does his stand-up, he talks about how lucky he is to have her and what a gift she is and how beautiful she is.
And you're like, well, she's a six.
I'm sure she's very nice, sir.
But you wear a pussy hat, you're a faggot.
In the best possible way, don't get me wrong.
Now, this is a woman.
Although the chin's a little much.
Do eastbound and down with her.
I want to go eastbound and down with her.
Eastbound and down.
I'm doomed to domeed doo-doo.
Let's see.
What are you doing?
Oh, God, you're slow.
This is torture.
I forgot she does other shit, so when I clicked videos, I was like, it's just going to be eastbound and down.
Let's see.
What's a good scene?
Oh, here we go.
Make I love you, Kenny.
April.
I will watch this again.
You know, I don't have to leave right here.
Her voice.
Yeah, her little squeaky voice.
There's this little squeaky southern voice.
I'm going to show you my kids, Kenny.
Kind of like Mexico itself.
Okay.
That man's planning.
Letters.
Just meet there.
I'll meet you there.
Meet there.
Okay.
I'll meet you there.
Okay, I need my boys to marry Southern Bells.
That just is a mandatory thing.
They are not marrying one of these loud fucking Nancy Sponge and New Yorkers.
If we haven't moved to the South, well, we're going to move to the South.
Within the year, we'll be in Georgia or eastern fucking Tennessee.
Literally anywhere.
But if, say, hypothetically, we weren't, I would drive my kids, my sons, down there when they were ready.
Like when they started dating.
I'd be like, we're going to the south.
I need you to be with what we just saw.
I'll meet you there.
I'll bring the sandwiches.
We'll get to the paper in a sec.
Book of the Dise.
I don't like reading fiction.
But David Sederis writes in a fictional way about nonfiction stuff.
So you get this sort of, like with other serious nonfiction books, I always have to have a pen and I'm writing notes down the side and have to Google up Google studies and stuff like that.
It's kind of homework.
And sometimes you want to just relax, right?
But I feel weird reading fiction.
I feel like I'm in someone else's imagination.
It just feels wrong.
David Sederis, you don't need a pen when you read this.
For example, Calypso comes from, he lives, he's from North Carolina, and he has a place there, a sort of oceanfront summer house that they all go to, the whole family.
And he falls in love with this snapping turtle that has a tumor on its head and is missing a leg, I believe.
He wants to feed it his own tumor, David does, because he had a strange tumor, benign tumor.
And then he goes to feed the turtle when he finally gets his tumor.
The turtle was gone.
It was hibernating.
But he realizes that the local kids go, oh, are you looking for Godzilla?
And he goes, what, you know that turtle?
And they go, yeah, we feed him every day.
And he said he was mortified to discover that other people had a relationship with his turtle.
And it's like when you're friends with a stray cat that you feed and then you find out other people not only feed it, but they have a name for it.
And they call him Calypso.
Wow.
It's pretty rare that you laugh out loud reading books.
But David Sederis is one of those guys.
I mean, he'd probably have a seizure if you found out that I read him and love him.
But like, listen to this.
He's talking about what I just told you.
I won't say that the hibernating turtle ruined my Thanksgiving.
He did make it feel rather anticlimactic, though I'm not sure why.
If you were to throw a lipoma, that's the tumor that he just had removed that he had in a Tupperware container, to a dog, he'd swallow it in a single bite, then get that very particular look on his face that translates to, fuck, was that a tumor?
That made me laugh out loud.
I butchered it, but you get it.
That's so true.
You know that if you fed a dog a tumor, it would be like...
He's a little midget, is he?
Kevin Nealon's also a big man.
And people would just do that.
Kevin Nealon is a big man.
There's another great line.
I think it's in Me Talk Pretty One Day or Naked or something where he's hitchhiking and some guy tries to grab his dick.
So he jumps out of a moving car and goes rolling into a ditch and he's covered in dirt and grass.
And he goes, and you haven't heard his lisp the whole book, right?
Because it's a book.
But you can tell he's gay and he probably talks like that.
You can just tell he talks like what you just saw before you hear him talk.
And it's a bunch of college kids and he jumps out and he goes, oh my God, I was just hitchhiking and this guy grabbed my leg and I almost died and I jumped out of the car.
And one of them, the driver, looks over and he goes, are you perchance a faggot?
And then he said, everyone in the car started laughing.
That's an interesting thing to wear.
It's Amy Sederis' brother.
You know Amy Sederis, Jerry Blank from Strangest with Candy.
That's right.
Very funny Greek family.
What's she been doing?
North Carolina.
What has she been doing?
This is quite an ensemble you've put together.
Did you put this together?
I put it together because the jacket didn't come with the Colotts.
Uh-huh.
Or the knee socks.
Hey, keep going.
But it's not actually the strangest part of it.
You can't really see it.
My sister Amy, you know, she's an actress.
She told me that on those award shows, everyone is held together with tape and like girding.
And so I watched a little bit of the Academy Awards and I thought, I wonder if the men are wearing things too.
Then yesterday I found out they made spanks for men.
I went and bought some.
I'm wearing them right now.
And I went to the store and it's like a t-shirt for a baby.
That's what it looks like.
And I'm wearing it and I couldn't really button this jacket before.
It's fantastic.
It's really something, isn't it?
It's a substitute for fitness.
Yeah.
He's been dating his husband for, I think, 20, 30 years or something.
Anyway.
Now we have to look up Strangers with Candy Jelly Neck Pot.
He sits there and he goes, guys, if you want, it's Paul Donello, who was a co-writer on the show.
He says, if you want to keep smoking pot, go ahead.
Just be prepared to laugh your head off with your friends.
I just fuck, I'm ruining jokes today.
This top one?
Yeah.
I had just started this job and my plugs weren't taking.
My parents were brutally murdered and I was fat.
So I turned to pot, hoping it would solve my problems.
But you know something?
The only thing it fixed was my life.
Look.
The thing is, if you still want to smoke pot, then be prepared to spend a lot of time laughing with your friends.
That's great.
I saw him once at a party and I was starstruck because I was enjoying the show at the time.
And I said the gayest thing I've ever said.
I've told you this a hundred times.
People always put it in the voicemail.
I mean, in the mailbag.
I had my drink and I was with my girlfriend who's now my wife.
And I went, and he looks over at me.
He's like, why is that fucking weirdo staring at me?
And I went, kudos, jelly neck.
And he just went, eh, what the fuck was that?
Him and David Cross would try to slip the word bitch in when they were ordering food.
So she'd be like, can I help y'all?
And they go, yeah, bitch, I'd like to get the.
Do we have pancakes?
Now, the pancakes are still going.
Okay, thanks, bitch.
There's also the.
What did you just say?
I discovered a new comedian in the car.
She was in The Mandalorian.
Boss Babylon.
Oh, yeah, everyone knows that.
She looked after Baby Yoda.
You don't know anything about that.
That was for family.
Yep, so she's doing stuff.
She's a busy gal.
She's in.
Like, she's deep in Hollywood.
She's never said anything political.
Her and David are not political per se.
He's pro don't kill gays, but that's about it for obvious reasons.
But you get to a level.
It's like rap or anything.
When you've been around for like 30 years, you're in.
Don't fuck a kid.
Don't say Jews are the cause of every world war.
Don't be caught shaving your head on meth, and you're good.
You're employed.
But this guy, Nick Nemiroff.
Oh, I didn't number it.
You know, funny comedians are rare.
This guy's some Torontonian Jew who does the understated thing, which is hard to pull off, but it's really good.
He's my new fave.
What's up, guys?
Like Conan said, my name is Nick Nemiroff, and like most people my age, I am 28.
Thank you.
Thank you so, so much.
Anyway, I won't ruin it by sitting here watching.
You should check him out, Nick Nemiroff.
He had a great bit where he goes, Hitler was a grammar Nazi.
And he goes, he killed my grammar.
No, but seriously, also, besides that, he did a lot like he killed my gramper, too.
Speaking of which, Patrice, so Bill Burr put out this documentary about Patrice O'Neill.
Patrice O'Neill was one of the awesomest dude that ever was.
I didn't know him, but I listened to him on Opium Anthony.
And Anthony and Patrice were such a perfect combination.
Is this the name of the doc?
This is the full doc.
Oh, shit.
Killing is easy.
What's it on?
Comedy Central.
They're on-demand thing.
You need to sign it with your provider.
But here's something few people know about Patrice.
He would sabotage his own career on a regular basis.
I worked with this guy, Michael Hirshhorn, who has a production company called Ish.
And they obviously appreciated Patrice's genius.
So they hired him and they said, let's do a show together.
At the pitch meeting where Comedy Central was about to sign the paper, Patrice goes, well, this guy's fired.
We want to get a new production company.
And Michael's like, what the fuck are you doing, Patrice?
Like, do that later.
And he goes, I don't want to work with him.
I want my own production company, Patrice Productions.
I don't have it yet, but I'm going to make it.
And so they go, all right, well, fuck you.
So Michael leaves the meeting, and then Comedy Central goes, we're not doing this show anymore.
You don't have a production company.
And he goes, well, I'm going to get one.
And then they go, well, we're not doing it.
And then he goes, well, fuck you.
And walks out.
Like, that could have been a whole new trajectory of his entire career.
Yeah, he was almost the father in Everybody Hates Chris.
And there's a great Opi and Anthony thing where he confronts him on that.
He's like, dude, you just didn't care.
You know, he was like, you need to care a little.
And he was like, yeah.
And he could have gotten his like, dude, we liked you more than the other guy, but he just tried harder.
Like, he just wanted to be a part, like he was doing the things.
And Patrice understood, you know, the business was that you have to be like, you know, outgoing and all this stuff.
And he just didn't want to play that game.
So he'd like sabotage.
That's bullshit.
You don't have to be outgoing.
You just have to show up on time.
You can stay in your trailer all you want.
Be friendly when you're up there.
That's it.
Acting is the easiest job on earth.
I think Patrice had a deep-seated sense of insecurity.
I know that sounds crazy.
Self-sabotage.
But he's self-sabotaged.
Maybe.
My dad taught me about that when I was a very young age.
I got an A in math or something on some test, and he goes, now the problem is you're expected to get A's in math from now on.
And this is, people are scared of A's.
People are scared of success, sometimes more than failure.
And it's taken me years and years to understand that concept.
But some people, you could give them the presidency and they'll just flush it down the toilet.
That's why I think you have these lottery winners who are generally losers.
If you're scratching off cards, I almost told a guy today, I almost leaned over and went, you're not going to win.
If you're constantly scratching off cards and playing the numbers, you're a loser.
Sorry.
And losers, they get $10 million and they go, I don't deserve this.
I'm not worthy of it.
And they're right.
So what do they do?
They flush it down the toilet.
They're all broke in a few years.
So I think Patrice, for all his genius, was didn't trust Patrice.
I think that's part of it, but a lot of it too is not, he didn't want to feel corny.
That keeps coming up, like not wanting to play along and be happy, like put on a smiley face for people.
You don't have to do that.
There's plenty of people who aren't corny.
His rant on Asians is fantastic.
He just talks about how they're robotic and they're just not nice.
And he goes on for like two hours about the reasons why.
And it doesn't come from like a hateful place.
He's like, I want to like you guys, but you give me no reasons to.
I really see him.
That's fantastic.
Just relax.
Yeah, just be you.
I couldn't be any more relaxed.
But this is what you do.
Beat him like this.
Breathe.
What a bad look that water is.
Yeah, but there's going to be a lot of casting directors watching.
Is Norton not there?
You're going to get a special out of this.
Yeah, who's that fella?
That fellow with the hat.
The fact that Kumi is not there.
Like, Kumi is the reason that Voss and Norton know him.
But you know why Kumi's not there?
So Bill Burr married a black woman.
I don't know why.
And I guess he's in love with her.
Some say he wants to get back at his dad.
Whatever.
I'm sure they're madly in love.
What the fuck am I talking about?
Bill Burr married a wonderful black woman.
But I guess what I'm saying is, I happen to know that she's a cunt.
So, and it confuses me that he would marry someone that's such a bitch.
And it's affecting his comedy.
His new thing is like white women and how white women don't have the right to complain, and white women are hijacking this black Lives Matter movement and complaining about their treatment.
But they were there benefiting from all the white stuff.
And I get that argument, and it can even be a funny bit, but it doesn't feel like it's from Bill's soul.
It feels like he's just parroting what his wife told him to say.
And anyway, so when they married, she's not the prettiest woman in the world, and there was a lot of backlash, and maybe it was a lot of racist shit from stupid asshole trolls directed towards Bill on Twitter and stuff.
Her beef with Anthony is that he didn't attack the trolls hard enough and get them to stop.
Like that wouldn't just make them more crazy and more eager to fucking diss.
So she insisted that Bill Burr can never do compound media, never do Anthony's show.
He has to ex Anthony.
Hey, he's buddies with Anthony.
Bill Burr was on Opie and Anthony a million times.
Something with the Patrice benefit, too?
Like that.
Yeah, he wasn't invited to the benefit.
That is messed up.
And these people all had a tertiary relationship with Patrice.
When you think of Patrice on the Opie and Anthony show, it's just Patrice and Anthony talking and everyone else laughing and Opie occasionally trying to get in there and making a fool of himself.
Like remember when Anthony and Patrice came with this concept of all sports is abolished and there's just one sport and the grounds is Ohio?
Yeah, yeah, like all teams, you take all professional athletes and they're on one side with one ball and all teams are on the other side of Ohio and they have to try to get the ball from one side and it's baseball, football, everything is combined into one giant game.
Yeah.
And I think the United States was New York, California, and Texas.
It was just a three-state country.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
And then as they're all dying laughing, Opie goes, what about slavery?
Almost like Martin Short in SCTV's Half Wits and just kills it.
So the Patrice documentary is perfect.
They summarized him.
They didn't get as deep as we just did with his insecurities and all that, but then we're intellectuals and we always peel the onion a little deeper.
Oh, is that it?
The Divided States, Russian Professor.
It's pretty.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Wait.
It says Opi and Anthony, United States of Patrice, but I think that's a separate thing.
But it looks very similar.
That reminds me of this moving map that's going on.
Where did I put that?
I could search it.
There we go.
Got it.
What's this now?
Some awesome...
We've been talking about where to move.
And I said, I wish they had it all mapped out county by county.
They do.
And it looks...
I'm surprised how sort of Rust Belt Midwest the dark blue is because that's the only place we want to be.
And I'm surprised Florida is so light blue.
But you can see North Carolina, South Carolina, eastern Tennessee seems to be a great place.
In fact, the good news is I'm told that I wouldn't be welcome there because I'm from New York.
And I'm like, perfect.
That's what I'm looking for.
You saw a right-wing Gringa.
She had an Instagram post where somebody wrote on their car, go back to California.
And she was like, I'm okay with this.
That was funny.
I agree.
Yeah, my car will get vandalized.
I'll probably be in Tennessee.
My New York plates will get vandalized, and I'll just be like, God bless this town.
Like I was riding my motorcycle once over the Williamsburg Bridge and I had pink socks on.
And some Puerto Ricans are like, nice fucking socks, Faggot, out of their car.
And I was like, we have a lot in common.
This shit annoys me too.
Thanks.
People wear things that drive me nuts too.
I think we would be friends.
You would totally end the whole people feeling bad for you for being a Mets fan.
They just wouldn't like you for it, which is the appropriate reason.
Well, yeah.
My son's not wearing a Mets shirt on the first day at school.
He's wearing a fuck New York shirt.
1-9, Amy Siskin put out this map a long time ago because she's a cunt.
But we're at a point with the American divorce where the right and the left both agree.
So I thought this was funny.
The CEO of Gab put this out, and so did Amy Siskin.
You can click on it any day now.
Jesusland is the bottom with Alaska and California, New York, everywhere else.
Uh-oh, did Virginia get sucked up into the blue?
What's that little blue dip in the middle there?
Iowa?
I don't know.
I guess we should know that.
So now we have the right saying the same thing.
I don't want to be with you either.
Well, this is what I said.
I predicted this.
The great American divorce.
We have split.
All right, let's start the show.
Shall we?
Yes.
Cuomo.
That was Illinois, by the way.
It was Illinois.
Yeah, you're right.
They can have it.
Give it up, Gov. This is, I'm starting to think I'm magic.
Remember I told you I was at the boxing ring, I would imagine Cuomo's head to be the speed bag, and I would start going, ba-da-ba-da-da-ba-da-ba-ba-da-ba-ba, until it was just like, and then, me, it was a frequency, because I hate him so much.
I think I delivered energy to the cosmos that had him destroyed.
Now, he's never going to jail.
He's too deep state.
Don't get your hopes up with prison.
That's silly.
But what does he really care about?
He doesn't even care about prison.
I think he could make that into martyrdom.
What he cares about is his legacy and being loved by the left and hated by the right.
He's hated by the left.
Democrat calls for Cuomo to be impeached.
This is all you could ask for.
Do you understand?
Like, say you hated Vince Neal and Motley Crew.
Sending him to jail, no, what you want to do with Vince Neal is make him go bald.
And then he has a big Hulk Hogan bald spot, and he's ruined.
That's his thing.
He's Samson.
It's his hair.
What's Cuomo?
It's his legacy, how he's perceived.
That's why he wrote a book called Love Me.
I kicked ass.
And what's great about this is he was mocked.
We're a little late on this, but he was on SNL.
I think this is 1.7.
And Pete, what's his name, who neither of us like?
Pete Davidson.
Pete Davidson.
Uh-oh.
I got this.
Hold on one second.
Yeah, you always got this nail.
I got this.
You may want to just subscribe to the New York Times at some point.
On my own dime?
No, on my dime.
I can afford the $4 a month or whatever it is.
Dash recepts.
Is your awesome plan working?
What is it, 1.9 again?
It's 1.7.
Ha.
By the way, folks, Ryan is still trying to figure out if dinosaurs exist.
He's been working very hard.
There's no harm in not automatically believing in something.
He's doubting bones.
No, I'm looking at you.
The bones you see are a cast.
Everybody believes things without looking into it.
Not everybody, but a lot of people believe things.
Ryan, we've all been looking into dinosaurs since we were kids.
No, the fossils, we've never seen a real dinosaur fossil.
Those are not real fossils in the museums.
They are recreations, and only people that are qualified in the paleontological community are allowed to see the actual bones.
So are they lying?
No, I don't know.
Maybe.
Maybe lying.
What's their motive to lie?
I don't know.
What's their motive to tell you that cigarettes are good for you?
Or the food pyramid that we found out is false after.
I'm just saying it's the same people.
Same people.
What does that mean?
The same people.
So doctors from the 50s are the same as paleontologists?
Well, like museums used to kind of have the old traveling circus freak show type of inauthenticity to it.
So, I mean, and the people that were responsible for finding these things, they were trying to push evolution really hard and stuff like that.
But I'm still looking into it.
I don't know.
I think it's healthy to reassess.
Do I believe in Santa Claus?
I mean, dinosaurs.
And how's flat Earth coming?
Are you convinced the Earth is a sphere yet?
No, but it's...
Yeah, I am.
Of course.
But I mean, it's still very interesting to look into.
Because the flight pattern thing has always been very fun to look at.
Nobody lives on Antarctica.
That's fun.
Every time you see it, there's a wall of ice.
Why don't people fly?
It's freezing cold.
But they have...
Why can't you fly over it, though?
That is also interesting.
I'm not saying I believe in it, but these are things that are interesting.
Another thing, too, is like, you know, the flying and like if the Earth is spinning, it should take less time if you're going against the Earth's retina.
How long should it take?
Well, I was looking at this video, and obviously it's a YouTube video, and this is some dude who, you know, spends too much time doing this stuff.
But it's interesting to look at it and be like, huh.
But then the truth is that we're within the Earth's atmosphere, so that we move with the Earth.
But it's good to know that you're still learning stuff.
You're just learning with opposite bias.
No, you're not learning shit.
That's not true.
You're refuting retarded myths.
Yeah, yeah.
And that's confirming reality.
You know, when you investigate Santa, you're still learning.
Right?
No, because Santa's fictional.
Oh, okay.
I mean, and it's not a concept.
It's just a lie.
It's a lie.
Santa closes.
It's like dinosaurs.
It's a lie.
Dinosaurs, the spherical earth, Santa.
All right, look at this video.
This is relevant because it's mainstream lefty writers throwing Cuomo under the bus.
And that is his worst nightmare.
That's a picture, but obviously I wouldn't put it in the notes if it was just a picture.
And now, live from Las Vegas, it's Poops You Did It Again with your host, Brittany Spears.
Hey, y'all!
It's Brittany, bitch.
You all know me from my upbeat Instagram videos and the word conservatorship.
Basically, I'm not.
She's so terrible.
She's so awkward.
They were afraid to ask her to stuff her bra.
Who, that actress?
Yeah.
Britney's got bigger tits.
And they would never, in this climate, ask her.
Can you please maybe stuff your bra a tiny bit or not?
Or not?
I don't care.
That's the firing.
Everybody was scared to bring it away.
I guarantee.
I don't recognize her.
I don't recognize her.
She clearly didn't stuff her tits.
No.
Because after the Free Brittany documentary came out, I'm receiving.
You're dressing up as someone with big tits.
Can she do Dolly Parton now?
That would be so distracting if she was Dolly Parton.
Okay, guys, let's welcome our first guest.
And while the music plays, I'm going to dance.
We broke down Texas Senator Ted Cruz.
That's ballet moves, by the way.
Titans are distractingly small.
Ted Cruz is not that fat.
That's the, you have hurt me today.
Okay, jump ahead.
We don't need to see Ted Cruz.
By the way, for the record, we haven't commented on this.
I don't really care, but that was a dumb move to go to Cancun.
I don't care.
He can't control the weather, but you've got to understand your job is 50% optics.
To go down with the ship.
You should have been like handing out water and stuff.
It's just a bad look, dummy.
You can send your family there, by all means.
But you're supposed to have a parka on and be like shoveling driveways, no matter how irrelevant that is.
Shovel one old lady's driveway and then give some other fucking bum smah chili.
I know that's irrelevant, but that's the game, dumbass.
You autistic homo.
Let's get this over with.
Looks like him, doesn't it?
Yeah, it's a good one.
I think they added jowls.
Yeah.
Is it because indoor dining is back in New York?
No, it's not.
They gotta give him like Klingon level forehead wrinkles, though.
He's terrible.
Some of the people who died in the nursing homes were not counted as nursing home deaths.
They were counted as hospital deaths.
Which is basically what happens at Disney World, okay?
The people die and they move the bodies.
They say, oh, I guess Brenda died in the parking lot, not on the teacups.
So, you know, we just did the Disney thing, all right?
So, what are we done here?
Governor, I like you.
You're from NYC, or as I call it, TRL.
But I don't...
but don't you think you ought to apologize?
Yeah.
I'm sorry, what was that?
I said I was sorry.
Okay, see, that wasn't so hard.
Get them both wiki.
This one I can't watch this in augustigated.
That bird bitch.
What did that bird bitch say about me?
I'm gonna bury him in the police grave this city has ever seen.
Regulators him so hard you think he's back in universal pre-K.
I'm sorry, okay?
I get a little angry now and then and always.
Hey, I get it.
You know, me and you, we're both kind of the same thing, you know?
We're both strong, misunderstood men.
Do not associate yourself with me.
Okay.
We are not.
I didn't watch that before.
I thought it could have been a little more insulting.
That's too bad.
But that'll do.
It wasn't bad.
That'll do.
Who?
My neighbor, his kid, is young and has three Cuomo stickers on his car.
Cuomo, Cuomo, Cuomo.
That's really what I want to know.
This is the one bad side of the divorce is you get curious about what your ex-wife thinks.
Like, do they still support him?
Are they like, yeah, there was, hey, there were 16,000 deaths.
He said 8,000.
The ship that came into the Chelsea Pier with the hospital beds was totally empty.
The Central Park pop-up hospital we made was totally empty.
And then we put all these people, killed all these old people, at least 8,000 more than we said we did.
How can you go, well, you know, people make mistakes?
I want to know.
Or how about this?
They're trying to shut down Fox News.
All their competitors are trying to say it's immoral and unethical because they peddle election conspiracies and that led to the storming of the Capitol.
And they also peddle vaccine conspiracies.
So that's going to make people not get the vaccine and kill us all.
So we have to get rid of not just Fox News, but OANN and Newsmax.
Now, Fox, I think, is allowing for this to happen a little bit because they like the idea of OANN and Newsmax going under because that's their new competition.
And the advertisers that Flee Fox are going to OANN and Newsmax.
So yeah, cigarette companies do this all the time.
Philip Morris will come up with some really stringent regulations that they push on their own selves.
But they know that in this hurricane, they've got a strong enough foundation they can take it.
And then American Spirit and all these smaller cigarettes will go flying into the wind.
But you got to understand, Fox, that you're next.
If Newsmax and OANN go, you're next.
So that's all a long way of saying, I want to know what the left thinks.
Like, hey, lefties, don't you think it's kind of weird that there's basically one mainstream non-left source, that's Fox News.
And then there's two little guys, Newsmax and OANN, and Blaze and other smaller ones, Daily Wire, whatever, censored.
And someone's trying to obliterate all of those.
So it'll just be your side.
That doesn't seem weird to you a little bit, no?
That's what I want to know.
Otherwise, I'm happy we're divorced.
Go fuck yourself.
All right, let's jump into some racism.
Let's talk about racism that was racist, guys.
The woke Coke ad parodies are still going strong.
Jack Bisobic had a bunch on his feet.
God, that guy's a busy bee.
I wonder if Ezra Levant regrets firing him from Rebel.
He had me, Lauren Southern, Jack Bisobic.
Have he still had all those guys?
Oh, he never had Elijah Schaefer.
We're going to have to let you go.
Remember this commercial?
That's a really good polar of Snowman.
Snowbear.
Snowbear.
I've got to just trade what's in the bottle with purple drank, and then that'll be a complete meme.
Where are we here?
With racism?
Yeah, go to 3-7.
You're not going to beat that, though.
The rest are just sort of funny memes that I'm sure you've seen, but we got to get them out here.
Be less white.
Acting black is cultural appropriation.
Hmm.
Just be nothing.
That's what I think.
This is really about.
I used to not talk about white genocide and all this shit, and it was sort of stuffed down my throat, but now I'm starting to see it.
Now it's trying to look unusual.
You know what's ironic about Coke being so woke?
They used to have cocaine in their Coke, hence the name.
And cocaine was made illegal shortly after because the government decided that blacks get a little too kooky on cocaine, and it makes them more likely to commit crimes.
So Coca-Cola said, all right, fine, we'll take the cocaine out.
We don't want blacks going crazy.
And now cut to 100 years later, and they're like, I don't like white people.
What do you got there?
Racism is always bad.
Fuck white people.
They can't be pro-China after what China wants to do to your Coke.
Actually, there was a bunch of Coca-Cola containers that were discovered with urine in them.
Yes.
So someone Chinese did play joke.
Are you kidding?
And they did know.
They did go pee-pee in someone's coke.
Look up like Coca-Cola containers discovered urine.
I can't wait.
That was back when Sarah Silverman was funny.
Remember she gotten shit for saying something bad about Asians?
And then she was forced to apologize to the head of the American Asian Committee on, I can't remember what it was, Conan or Kimmel or something.
And she said, during that commercial break, I want everyone to know that this guy thought he was being funny and he went peepee in my Coke.
You don't see that in the news?
Did you click news?
Well, yeah, and then there's, no, but there's another one where, is it recent?
Yes.
There's the Hello Fresh one.
Is that it?
Yeah, they delivered somebody bottle full of urine.
Someone was Chinese, someone played a joke, and they went peepee in your Coke.
Typical.
What are we going to do?
Get mad at birds for flying too?
They have a song.
Wait, go up.
Is it crystallized?
I'll keep it simple.
I ever see someone's bottled-up piss as part of my order.
Look forward to your response.
Click on the picture or that is the picture.
What is that?
It's just the way the lights are flicking.
It's cloudy.
Oh, it's just the reflection of the hardwood, yeah.
Yummy.
Another update on the black on Asian violence.
So yesterday we were saying, just like talking about your ex-wife and what do they think, we go, do they know that black people are beating them up?
And today we learn, yes.
They do, but they still call it white supremacy.
Click on the next one.
Do not be mistaken.
We can and must fight anti-Asian racism without being anti-black or pro-police.
BIPOC solidarity is the only way we can target the root cause of these attacks.
White supremacy.
So don't blame the perpetrator and don't thank the people who save the Asians from the perpetrators.
Got it.
I mean, I'm fucking losing my mind here.
So when all this happened, we were talking about it yesterday.
I went, all right, I guess they don't realize that the perp was black who killed that Asian guy or all of them are black.
You're looking at a race war.
It's black on Asians.
I guess they don't know it's whites.
No, they do.
I mean, sorry, they don't know it's blacks.
They do know it's blacks.
They're still calling it white supremacy.
What?
And here's the craziest part.
That's why they were chosen as victims.
Because the perps know they won't get blamed.
They know that the blame will be shifted somehow.
So they're doing exactly what they were told.
How fucking mental.
What's that?
Say that again.
All right, let's jump into a giant gene green screen, giant gene screen I've been wanting to do for a while here where Candace Owens sits down with, what's her name?
His name is Walter Newsome?
Yeah, Walter Newsome.
She sits down with Walter Newsome.
You'll see what I mean by that in a second.
And they talk about systemic racism.
That'll be the end of our discussion on systemic racism.
Okay, this is a segment from the Candace Owens show that's on Prager U. Prager's not a real university.
They're lying.
It's a lie.
Same with Trump University.
And of course, same with Bounce You, where you take your kids for birthday presents, parties.
That when they leave there, I think sometimes they even get a certificate.
That's not a real degree.
They've just been bouncing up and down for a couple hours and eating shitty pizza.
All right, so this is her with a guy named Hawk, what the hell is his name?
Hawk Newsome from Black Lives Matter, a brother from the Bronx.
And she's from, I think, Connecticut, a much more white part of town.
And they're both talking about systemic racism.
Does it exist?
Obviously, Hawk says yes, and Candace says no.
Here's what I disagree with you on.
I actually, because I've done so much studying the numbers, I disagree with the idea that there's police brutality that is disproportionately affecting black Americans.
I don't disagree with you on the fact that black Americans are disproportionately being locked up.
What I disagree with you on is the reason why.
It's nothing to do with, in my opinion, because we're black.
There's no sentence that you get 20 years because you're black, but there is economic privilege in this country.
And if you're rich and you can get a great lawyer and you can get off, then great.
I've had girls had their, like white friends of mine had their entire DUI go away because their dad paid the judge $25,000.
It's not because she was white.
It was because her dad had $25,000 to pay to a judge.
Money doesn't take color.
Hold on a sec.
Your friend gave the judge $25,000?
That's bribery.
That's a major felony.
That's huge.
That would be national news.
I think you mean she could pay a lawyer $25,000, and it was probably more like $50,000 to get out of a DOI.
But yes, that is a problem with our justice system.
Although, how do you solve it?
Rich people are going to have access to really good lawyers no matter what.
I can't imagine a system where all lawyers are exactly the same.
I guess it's called the Soviet Union.
It's unfortunate, but obviously rich people are going to have access to better lawyers.
Now, can I make all lawyers the same skill level?
No, you can't.
And lawyers want to have an incentive to become good lawyers, and part of that should be money.
So I get your beef, Candace, but I don't see how to fix it.
And we do have a system where no matter how broke you are, I don't care if you ate babies, Jeffrey Dahmer had a lawyer.
I have trouble getting a lawyer because being known as a Nazi is worse than being a cannibal, pedophile, whatever.
But for the most part, we have court-appointed lawyers.
I think that's a pretty good solution.
I wish they were as good as the greatest lawyers in the country.
I don't think you can fix that.
So, and another thing too here, she's talking about black representation in prison.
And if you recall, the Proud Boys' dictums, their tenets include, and the drug war, no more welfare.
Both of those drastically reduce the black population in prison because most of these people are in jail for stupid drug crimes.
Making drugs illegal is retarded.
It's not working.
And secondly, they've been defothered by welfare.
And that's led to a predilection to crime from a lack of discipline and also just idle hands.
Welfare is idle hands.
You're bored.
Get into crime.
Why not?
But the black community is economically depressed.
Why?
Because we continue to vote for people that are economically depressing us.
This is where my...
You know what I'm saying?
Like, we're not disagreeing with you.
These things were present before we had the right to vote.
So you have to give me more than that.
This is why I chose this green screen thing.
This was present before we had the right to vote.
If you want to go back, dude, you people, black people, committed crime about the same as whites before welfare.
I know it sucked.
I know there was Jim Crow.
I know you weren't seen as equals.
But as far as economic status, you were rising faster than other Groups, you were on an economic incline that you're not on today.
So, when the family was intact, and this is how important it is to have a family, this is how important it is to have a father.
When the black family was intact, despite all the other shit, you did better than you're doing today.
That's how great a family is.
It's better, you're more successful as a black American in a racist America than you are, that has capitalism, than you are in a racist America.
I mean, sorry, a non-racist America that has socialism.
Let me repeat that.
1955 blacks were living in a racist America.
It was pre-socialism as far as welfare is concerned.
They were doing better than, as far as crime, as far as family unit, as far as health, as far as longevity, as far as increasing income.
They were doing better then than they are as a whole today with what I would call a socialist environment with welfare, fatherlessness, diabetes, obesity, fucking COVID, and obviously the prison scourge.
So that's how evil socialism is.
It's worse than racism.
In the 1950s, under Jim Crow, black economic growth was actually outpacing whites until the 1960s when they put in place, LBJ put in place The Great Society and married us to the government.
So I've watched the economic trends.
I've looked at them.
My grandfather, born in the 40s on a sharecropping farm, did better than my dad.
You don't have to explain this to me because I think segregation hurt us, okay?
In the form that we had black doctors, black lawyers, we had a strong black community wherein which black people lived together and were very productive and had businesses when, you know, racist white people didn't come and burn them down like Black Wall Street.
Oh, God, the Black Wall Street thing.
How many times you heard that?
So he says segregation hurt us, but he just described a positive outcome of segregation.
And this is something I wrestle with personally.
First of all, segregation is probably more common now than it's ever been.
With the great American divorce, whites are choosing white-only areas.
Blacks live in black areas.
If you think that blacks don't like segregation, go to an all-black neighborhood right now with a newspaper in your hand with some real estate ads circled and pretend you're looking for an apartment.
See how well you do.
Or they talk about food deserts.
Go open a Whole Foods.
You know what?
Get a clipboard that says Whole Foods on the top and go around and ask local black people how they feel about you opening a Whole Foods in their neighborhood.
You're going to get told to fuck off.
They are going to say that leads to gentrification and you're going to raise the rents in here.
They don't want you there.
Similarly, rich white people out in the suburbs, they have hate has no home here signs on their lawn.
They love diversity.
Okay, go to a school meeting and tell them you're rezoning the schools to include the neighboring black community.
So now maybe not even a lot, maybe 8% of your students will be black.
They will shit their pants because although they pretend to be about diversity, they really mean diversity of servants.
They like their Filipino nanny.
They like their French au paire.
They like a variety of restaurants serving them food on a tray.
They don't actually want these people in their actual lives.
They just want them serving them.
So segregation actually never went away.
And it was pretty good for blacks, I'm afraid.
The Negro Baseball League in Kansas City, you had real players.
You had the community there all dressed in suits in the 50s.
Everyone loved each other.
It brought their community together.
Then we opened it up and we had Jackie Robinson go to the white league.
And then all these black players started leaving the Negro League.
And all of a sudden, the community lost that because there was no good players anymore.
People stopped going to games.
The baseball diamonds fell apart.
And that sort of stalwart of the community outside of church, it was the only place everyone met, shattered.
So I'm not pro-segregation, but I'm aware that it never went away and that in many ways it was good for blacks.
If all we needed was access to the same level of education, access to the same jobs, we didn't need to just come in and this annoys me too, this access to the same education.
Yes, schools in black neighborhoods suck, but it's also supply and demand.
There's this food desert thing where they say you don't have whole foods here.
You don't want whole foods there.
And it's the same with the school desert.
You don't want good schools there.
We brought charter schools to Harlem, and granted it was the New York Times and de Blasio that fought them back, and intelligent black parents wanted charter schools.
But for the most part, the demand does not meet the supply with charter schools.
There's plenty of them that would love to open up, and they keep getting pushed back.
And black parents aren't fighting hard enough for charter schools.
I'll say it again.
Black parents are not fighting hard enough for charter schools.
It's the only solution to black education.
But you go to these neighborhoods like the South Bronx.
I know teachers in the South Bronx.
They do their Zoom class, and there's maybe two or three people paying attention in the Zoom classes.
The rest are gone.
I don't mean they're there, but they're playing video games.
I mean they're gone.
And then the three people who care, they end up playing video games and the teacher goes, you know what?
I don't want to sit here and watch you play video games.
Hang up.
If you go to a school in East New York, in Harlem, in the South Bronx, the first row has the three people who give a shit.
Their parents are probably together, right?
Or they're immigrants from Africa.
They care.
These people are just doodling.
The others on the front row are doodling, doing nothing.
The second row, and you can group some rows in here.
Let's say the second third of rows has people just talking like they're at a cafe, just enjoying themselves, totally disregarding the teacher.
And the teacher can't tell them to shut up because they won't.
And then if she calls security, she gets in shit for being a pain in the ass.
So she has to just let that go.
The last third of rows, we'll call it the third row, is just people practicing fight moves, trying to deke things, slipping.
Let me practice your jab.
See, if you did that, I would move and then I get you in the side.
Like we did when we were 10.
That's a classroom.
So yes, I guess you could say these schools are underfunded, even though there's brutal corruption and tons of embezzling money in all of these schools.
But it's not like these kids are dying to learn.
These kids don't give a shit about their class.
And what's worse is the parents tend to not give a shit about their kids' education.
So to sit from the outside and go, I don't see a lot of money going into that school.
I don't see a lot of good teachers going into that school.
You got to actually go into this school and see that people don't want education.
In a food desert, they don't want good whole foods.
And in a school desert, they don't actually want good schools.
And segregate.
What did that mean?
That meant leave your neighborhood, take your talent and your resources, and go and live somewhere where people don't want you, where they burn your house down and put burning crosses in your front yard and say, leave our artist.
Jesus Christ, the whining about the past.
You know how hard it was for Scots for 700 years?
You know how hard it was for Irish 100 years ago when they came here?
Ever heard of no blacks, no Irish, no dogs?
Do you ever hear Irish whining about Irish slavery, white slavery?
Never.
They've moved on.
Italians have only been white for about 50 years.
Move on, my friend.
Down.
You talk about wealth, right?
The average college graduate that's black makes $13,000 less than the average white college graduate.
You look at these numbers.
You look at the wealth.
You know, Naomi Schaefer-Riley got fired for mocking black dissertations.
She said, African-American studies, PhDs, I looked at these dissertations.
They're all about racism and how horrible it is to be black.
And they're all about me, me, me.
Growing up in Ottawa and Montreal and Ontario as a black man.
Just like me search.
Let's take Michelle Obama's book, Barack Obama's book.
So did you get a degree in structural engineering and you're making less?
No.
You got a degree in intersectionality and hegemony and African dance in Chicago in the 40s.
Grap.
Gap and how it extends.
And then you say something to me like, well, they can afford lawyers.
So now you have this wealth gap and you have white people who are sitting on top of this and black people who are on the bottom.
And then you talk to me about the criminal justice system.
And that's where it manifests.
But hold on.
First, I want to talk about this idea of white people making more money when they get off of school because there's so many other factors that could contribute to that.
What are the majors that people are taking?
If you actually look at like what's it called when you let people win because of the color of their skin.
Affirmative action actually negatively impacts the black community.
Because if you're going to go and just get into school because you're black and your grades aren't going to...
So she's talking about, Jared Taylor talks about this, Peter Brimlow, a lot of dangerous racial realists, I believe they call themselves.
And they say, when you catapult a black person into Harvard and Yale and they don't belong there, they just drop out.
They give up.
They don't go back down to a black college or a community college that they were meant to get into.
They just give up entirely.
These were kids that probably would have gone to a community college or a black college, whatever, and they would have graduated with flying colors.
But you put them somewhere where they don't belong and that hurt them.
I think that's what she's talking about there.
And here's kind of a weird thing.
Isn't Candace Owens kind of an example of affirmative action?
I mean, I like her.
I consider her a friend, sort of.
I think I helped discover her.
But look at her career over the past three or four years.
I mean, she's considering running for president.
No one had heard of her three years ago.
Could you say the same of Cassandra Fairbanks, who, when you look at what she's produced, the amount of articles and scoops and content.
Or what about a journalist like Ryan Gerduski?
Ryan Gerduski, who exposed the Lincoln Project.
He's on some innocuous cable access show with Pat Buchanan late at nights.
He was on Red State.
He's the one who blew the lid off the whole race wars going on with blacks and Hispanics in South Central L.A. He's got a million scoops under his belt, and he'd be lucky to make $50,000 a year because he's a white male.
I think he might be gay, but if he's not out, that's not good enough.
Candace Owens, smart black, articulate, cool, interesting, brave, front of the line.
And I remember this at Fox News, like when Guy Benson came in out of nowhere.
Oh, great, he's gay.
And I just watched him skyrocket past me.
Even pretty girls who weren't even that conservative, like Joanne Nosychinski.
She showed up out of nowhere at Red Eye, and all of a sudden, she's got the regular spot.
I'm like, what?
Or fucking Tyrus.
Yes, I'm bitter, by the way.
You're hearing a bitter person, bitch.
Tyrus shows up.
He doesn't even have politics.
He's a fucking bullfrog.
And he shows up, sits in a big chair, and everyone goes, you get a fucking show.
He literally got his show, despite sexual harassment allegations.
So there is affirmative action on the right, too.
And it's embarrassing.
Enrique Tario, why was he chosen to run the Proud Boys?
When you get out of school, they look at your record and how you actually did.
So it doesn't serve us.
We actually just need to compete and then get into the schools that we deserve to be in.
And then maybe we can be at the top of those classes because we're in schools that we should be into.
Dr. Thomas Sowell does a brilliant job of breaking this down.
And there's also another book called Stop Helping Us, affirmative action being another thing that is supposed to be helping us.
But if you look at the results, it's actually hurting us.
Well, if you know my name before I changed it, was Walter Newsom.
Walter Newsom had a bachelor's degree.
So his name was Walter Newsome.
Cool name.
Wally Walt.
You can do a lot with that.
If you want to be really dope, you could even call yourself Tur.
Like Ture.
No, that's a bad idea.
Look, I'm allergic to that idea.
How gay is it to change your name to Hawk?
Are you fucking 10?
I'm a Hawk.
Why don't you name yourself Wolverine?
Hawk.
I mean, lots of people don't like their names.
Half my friends hate their names, but they joke about it or they change it or they abbreviate it, I should say.
But to change your name from Walter to Hawk is juvenile.
Maybe that's why you're making less money because you're juvenile.
Anyway, go ahead.
This is a very important part coming up.
Newsome.
Walter Newsome had a bachelor's degree.
Positive.
Walter Newsom was.
In what?
I have a bachelor's degree in English.
It is as useless as a bachelor's degree in modern dance.
Literally.
Who the fuck, when can you even conceive of a wanted ad that says wanted man?
Person with BA in English, English literature.
Have you read Dickens?
Well, we need you.
Have you read Wuthering Heights?
Come on in.
We want to talk about Victorian novels.
So I need to know what your fucking BA is.
It's probably not valuable.
Very good on paper and Walter enunciated.
All right.
So Walter was white until he showed up to a job interview and they saw that he was black and he was treated differently.
What do you mean to sit here?
Shit, stop.
This is just, see, so much of the left, the BLM, the Antifa's politics, it's just shit that sounds good with no evidence.
I call a roaring Mount Everest size pile of bullshit on what he just said.
You had a great resume.
Everyone was excited.
They talked to you on the phone.
You sounded articulate.
You came in there and they went, oh, black guy.
Yeah.
Can you take the garbage out on your...
I was treated differently.
Bullfucking shit.
I don't know what your degree is or what job you're talking about, but if it was anything remotely professional, not only would they get a fucking boner the moment you walked in, you'd be in the front window.
This is our guy.
There's Walter.
Oh, sorry.
Call him Hawk.
This is Hawk Newsom.
He's one of our top guys.
Come on in.
He'd beat all the brochures.
Oh, we're racist, are we?
How come Hawk works here?
Bullshit, you fucking liar, Hawk.
Go eat some mice.
And honestly tell me that employers don't discriminate against black people?
Like this doesn't have, that there was no need for affirmative action.
Like it had to be.
So what he's talking, he's talking about two things simultaneously, and he's terrible at logic.
And by the way, his previous logical fallacy was to talk about bad outcomes.
So if blacks are doing badly, then it's proof of racism.
For the one billionth time, short, fat white men do badly in basketball.
That does not mean that basketball is prejudiced towards that group.
It just means that for whatever reason, that group doesn't thrive.
Women tend to not win the Fields Medal in mathematics.
Does that mean that mathematics is sexist?
No, it does not.
It just means that for whatever reason, generally, and there's obviously always exceptions, women tend not to thrive in mathematics.
So just because blacks are not killing it in origami competitions or camping does not mean that those particular, what would you call them, hobbies are out to get black people.
So that's one logical fallacy.
Secondly, he's sitting here.
Wait, play it for a second.
Broken down.
There were barriers that had to be.
He's talking about barriers with Jim Crow days and saying, we went through this shit.
Yes, you did.
You'd have to be an asshole to deny that.
But it gets to the point now where with whites at the seventh most successful ethnicity in the country.
Number seven, not number one.
Number one is Asian.
Asians are winning.
We're way down here.
African blacks, African immigrants, recent African immigrants are above whites.
Above you, sir.
Nose picker.
So to talk about how whites get everything is just as dumb as saying blacks are doing badly here, so they must be someone trying to hurt them.
Yes, Warren Buffett and Bill Gates are white.
The majority of poor are white.
You live in a country that's 60 to 75% white.
You're going to see some rich guys and some poor guys.
So anyway, he's using the old Jim Crow shit to justify his bitch bitching about how horrible it is to be black and how racist we are.
But secondly, he's talking about this thing that's come up a million times about how black resumes don't do as well as white resumes.
What that study ignores, and what everyone ignores about that study, more importantly, is that those names were like Dishniqua and Rakwanza.
Names like that are indicative of a demographic within the black community that is not interested in assimilation.
It is Daniqua Sean with some apostrophes and an umlot and a circon flex at the end, say, I'm not part of American culture.
I have my own culture.
And there's been a pattern with that particular demographic, which is, fuck you.
I'm not working late.
I don't see myself as part of the team.
I think you're racist.
The name Shaniqua basically, for the most part, says to a lot of people, this person thinks I'm racist.
It's kind of like Black Lives Matter.
When you wear a Black Lives Matter hat and you look at me, you're saying to me that I don't think Black Lives Matter.
That's really ultimately, which is why I find it so insulting when you wear that around me because you're saying that I think it's okay for a little black kid to get shot in the head.
Fuck you.
So he's got like 50 logical fallacies piled up on top of each other.
It's still Jim Crow.
Weird names like Hawk are not.
Yeah, by the way, I'm sure you have the same shit with resumes that say summer redstone and ocean redstone.
They go, oh, fuck, this is some hippies kid.
I don't want to deal with their vegan bullshit.
Down.
There were barriers that had to be, you know, we had to overcome, had to jump over these hurdles so you and I could have this conversation.
If it wasn't for people taking these steps and people like me, you wouldn't have the show.
Wait, hold on.
Like these things are unique.
I didn't graduate university, so actually.
No, no, you're somewhere else.
What I'm saying is that you're not having these opportunities.
I'm not going to debate it.
So because of the freedom fighters in MLK, Candace and Hawk can exist, maybe, or maybe they would have been here naturally.
It's kind of like the EPA, the Environmental Protection Agency.
Air was getting cleaner and cleaner on a 45-degree line.
The EPA sort of appeared, I can't remember when it was, like 1967, and air got cleaner.
Yeah, but if you pull back and look at the chart, I see a 45-degree line with an EPA dot in the middle.
So maybe blacks would have just naturally gotten here on their own without all this civil rights freedom riders, you know, getting beaten up and the German shepherds and all that shit.
Maybe it just would have happened naturally.
I mean, America kicked out the British.
They had a revolution.
Tens of thousands died.
Not that many, actually, in comparison to other American wars.
Nothing close to the Civil War.
And then they declared independence.
Okay.
You know what Canada did?
Nothing.
They just kind of bored the British out until they left on their own accord.
The Queen is still on the money.
She's still on the Wikipedia page.
That's about it.
The Prime Minister can't tell Justin Trudeau to do shit.
So which got the British out?
The American Revolution or the Canadian?
Meh.
Maybe these two black people could have med themselves into this fake IKEA table.
Fake Eames table from IKEA.
Sorry.
I did affirmative action.
I'm not interested in the past.
Actions just had just objectively looking at the results, which is that it's harming the black community.
It's not helping us.
Okay.
So when you say on the outset, and I'm getting a lot of people.
Because you still have these diversity officers.
My friend Satan.
You're not.
He's the head diversity officer at JPMorgan.
And he literally has to go into these rooms and teach these people what diversity should look like.
Diversity and inclusion is serious because these corporations just don't get it.
They're oblivious to these practices.
A large number of America is oblivious to oppression.
So let's apply it a different way.
That's a lot to digest.
That's a lot to unpack, as they say.
I don't think that Hawk and his buddies understand diversity.
So here's the premise of it.
Every field in corporate America should represent the population exactly.
It should be 50% male, 50% female, 64% white, 14% black, whatever that leaves, 64, 74, and then like 20% Hispanic.
Why?
Sports isn't like that.
Should Jewish people not be overrepresented in medicine?
Should we kick Jews out of the operating room because there's too many Jews in medicine and get more blacks in there?
Why?
See, this is the beauty of our politics as not lefts.
We don't do race either way.
We're just totally blind to the whole thing.
We don't do affirmative action.
We don't care what group is overrepresented where.
It's all based on meritocracy.
Now, the left brings up race and says cops are killing blacks.
So we look into it and we go, no, it's only six unarmed blacks that appear to be innocent a year.
That's the same as spider bites.
So this is not a thing.
And you made me look into it, so I noticed that 20 blacks are killing 20 blacks a day.
That seems to be a slightly bigger deal than your spider bites.
But normally, we don't even go that far.
We just blindly say if you break the law, you go to jail.
It's to oppression.
So let's apply it a different way.
So let's say you flew in here, right?
Would you be happy if you knew that pilots were just being hired because they were black and yet maybe not the best pilot who knew how to fly the plane?
My sister, if you, you know, you're better with numbers than me.
This really pisses me off, that one sentence.
You're better with numbers than me.
Numbers are not a small deal.
This is where we're at now with the American conversation.
Numbers don't matter.
We have mathematics being accused of racism, not mathematicians.
The actual field of math is racist now.
And now numbers are seen as some little silly thing.
Oh, you're a numbers person?
I don't really do numbers.
Numbers are everything.
If there was 500,000 illegal aliens in America, you'd never hear me mention illegal aliens once.
There's at least 30 million, so I care.
Numbers matter.
You punch me in the stomach and punch me in the face once.
I'm in a bad mood and I don't like you anymore.
I might not even press charges.
But you punch me in the stomach 10,000 times and in the face 10,000 times, I'm jam.
I'm dead.
I can't handle that.
So how the fuck did we get to a point where numbers are irrelevant to a discussion and it's treated here like a little fetish?
Like you're a music person and I'm not into tunes.
Well, I'm into tunes when it comes down to people getting tuned up.
And if you hit me 10,000 times, I'm dead.
Don't do it.
Ball.
Right?
Or do you just want the person that's actually the best equipment?
What you would want to see is...
One time I got on a plane and as I was getting on, not only did I see a woman, but I saw a huge fat ass, like this big.
I saw an ass that fat getting into the plane, getting into the pilot seat.
I almost didn't get hired at CRTV because I said that in a, I think I tweeted it.
I think I was still on Twitter at the time.
I tweeted it and it went to the boss of CRTV and they go, he's pretty risque and he says things that could get us in trouble.
And he reads the tweet and he goes, so what?
They're a protected class now?
Fat asses?
But am I nuts?
I mean, what's his name?
Juan Williams got fired for saying he gets uncomfortable at airports when he sees a bunch of Muslims at the gate on their knees praying to Allah.
Yep, pretty normal.
You noticed a pattern, my friend.
That's not illegal.
But he got fired, sent to Fox for that.
You have to agree with me, ladies, fat ladies that are watching this, you have to agree with me that you personally, if you were just, you know, you get by that accordion thing from the runway to the plane as you're walking in and you just look over and you see a giant female fat ass as opposed to like a very fit,
skinny, 60-year-old man with white hair sitting down, what ass would you rather see in that seat?
Come on, be honest.
All right, go ahead, hawk.
Hawk.
People have to work twice as hard and overcome twice as much.
Me coming from the crack era in the South Bronx, I had to work twice as hard just to survive and then thrive in school.
So black people who overindulged themselves in a drug called crack led that led to brutal crime in the South Bronx, which is true.
That's my fault.
Black criminals made you unsafe as a kid, and you'd had to work hard to survive.
I agree.
I am very impressed you don't hold any grudge towards black people for making your life so hard to live.
We're subpar in schools that put me on a path to go to jail as opposed to college.
Oh, I agree with you about the education, so we can get into that.
What are you talking about?
Stop.
Wait, did that not pause?
The schools put you on a path for I guarantee you, teachers in the shittiest schools in the South Bronx still care.
That's why they're there.
And if any one of those kids had a parent in the 80s I'm talking about who came in and went, hey, my son wants to do better, they'd probably start jerking off right there live.
They'd pull a Louis C.K. I promise you that those schools did not want you to go to prison.
They would probably be fucking doing backflips if someone showed up and said, we want to try.
This is a problem with a lot of these pundits, especially bourgeois Republicans, is they don't know anyone from the South Bronx.
They don't know anyone from East New York.
They don't know anyone from Harlem.
They don't know anyone from Newark.
They don't know how shitty the parents are at these schools, how shitty the general attitude is towards these schools.
To schools in the South Bronx with the free lunch program, gangsters come in for the free lunch.
They're registered to be at the school.
The teachers have never seen them.
And then at the end of the year, the school board forces them to give that gangbanger a 75 out of 100, not a 70.
The teacher's never seen this student once.
He only shows up at lunch to eat the free lunch.
And he gets a 75, which, by the way, I worked my ass off to achieve and rarely did, which is why I was in the retard class.
In schools that were subpar, in schools that put me on a path to go to jail as opposed to college.
Oh, I agree with you about the education system.
We can get into that.
But again, that brings me to the Democrats.
If it's a black man, like one of my friends, his name is Denville, who's flying that plane, I look at that black man and say, wow, brother, you had to work twice as hard to get there because your family didn't have those.
I know how to land the planes.
I don't care what color he is.
I mean, I see a black person in positions.
Now, they're still black firsts, right?
Like, Louisiana has its first black female mayor.
I was just there last week, and I'm like, wow.
So you say, I just want to see the plane land.
Why can't you just be a good mayor who happens to be black?
Like, way to take away from her accomplishment.
And when people see that, by the way, they go, oh, you're hired because you're black.
I mean, I just did it to Candace Owens a second ago.
I said, she's there because she's black.
She catapulted.
Just say that the mayor kicked ass and she's a good mayor.
But the first black shit in 2021 is so fucking tedious.
You're the first asshole I've ever heard of who changed his name to Hawk.
Wow, that's progress.
Right.
You know, I want the person that's best equipped.
But if I have to go in tomorrow and get surgery on my heart, I don't want to say, I'm really happy this black doctor is doing this.
I want to know that this person knows what the hell he's doing.
What I can tell is those black doctors had to work twice as hard.
Dr. Jen Carson worked very hard.
Prove it.
Prove it.
You have an argument in the 80s in the South Bronx during the crack epidemic that he had to work twice as hard not to be killed.
But that beef is with black people.
I was reading Robin Quiver's book, which maybe I'll bring it in tomorrow.
And it's fascinating.
I highly recommend it, believe it or not.
This is Howard Stern's Black Sidekick.
It's a really interesting book.
Her parents were evil.
Her dad molested her.
He said his wife, which was her mother, was the ugliest woman he ever met.
I don't know why I married her.
They both beat her.
They had this scam going with foster parents where they would take on a kid, a baby till he's two, and then get rid of him and get the money.
But this poor young Robin is raising babies.
And she's in her early adolescence, so she's got their maternal instinct.
So she's falling in love with these children that she does all the work for.
They don't give a shit.
They just would let the baby starve.
So she's caring for these babies, and then they're torn from her.
Again and again and again.
It's going off my head there.
Again and again and again.
And then black people in her neighborhood were fucking with her.
And she has this epiphany once where this white girl didn't want to say hi to her because, I don't know, she was with other white people and they were friends.
And from that on, she decides she hates white people and she follows Muhammad Ali really closely and loves his nation of Islam stuff and fuck Whitey and all that.
And I'm like, so black people fucked you over your whole life.
One white person is mean to you once and you decide, fuck Whitey, black power.
Like, that's what I'm getting from this guy.
Black people, black junkies on crack, black crackheads tormented him his whole childhood.
And he's like, if you see a person, they had to work twice as hard, yeah, to overcome the black assholes in his neighborhood.
It's sort of like when they get on the elevator, you go, you don't know what it's like.
When I get on an elevator, women grab their purse.
Yeah, because they noticed a pattern and a bunch of black guys were stealing purses.
Get mad at those black guys.
I didn't steal your purse.
I didn't steal anyone's purse.
He's a conservative, right?
And he's called stupid and he's called an Uncle Tom and he's called the coon because he's trying to, he's a literal brain surgeon that is called stupid and rejected by our community as he's trying to explain to us because he has he has expertly, and if you read his stuff, explains to the black community that the help is hurting.
And no one has a story about coming from nothing harder more than Dr. Condoleezza Rice and Dr. Ben Carson.
Literally nothing, right?
Leave my guy from Harlem, the Bronx, Alcohol and Powell.
I'll leave my family.
Are you pausing it for me?
That one that laughs will be all.
Anyway, look at how corny this set is.
Who makes these sets?
It looks like a gay granny's living room.
What's with the trolley?
Like, that's such a hokey stock image.
I don't even know what it means.
Is that like mid-century France?
Is this like a Paris trolley?
What is that?
You can't leave him out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right?
And so they make it, and they then go back and try to offer the community, hey, guys, this is what's going on.
I'm now at the top, and I'm trying to explain.
Dr. Ben Carson, what's his offer?
He works for HUD.
I mean, a lot of people have jobs that don't give you.
We know this, right?
He has tried to explain to the black community.
By the way, I have noticed, she says Ben Carson came back to the community and tried to help.
I don't know if I believe that.
Black people are notorious for saying, fuck you, to the HUD when they get money and never coming back.
You know who's the opposite of that?
Native Americans.
They'll go get a Harvard law degree and go back to the res to be barefoot in sweatpants and try to help people with their various...
Maybe it's because Native Americans who grew up on the res are totally unassimilated and they don't feel comfortable in the white man's world.
But most black billionaires, millionaires, they get the fuck out of Dodge and have no interest.
And they tend not to be very philanthropic, like the head of BET.
He doesn't want to hear the name, the word black.
Same with OJ.
I mean, what the fuck's black about him?
He peaced out the second he got his first check.
Who knows?
The black community is so.
Ben Carson works at HUD.
He probably doesn't do a lot of work.
Okay.
How does that relate to what we're talking about here?
Tear down people that have the most amazing feet, and yet we'll be...
Didn't he undermine his own point?
Yeah, he just said when you see a black man in a position of power, he had to do a lot of work to get there.
And why is she talking about people's feet?
That's disgusting.
Go back?
The black community is so quick to tear down people that have the most amazing feet and yet we'll be able to...
First of all, black people tend to have bigger feet than other people.
And if we're talking about judging people by meritocracy, why would you judge them by their feet?
That's kind of a weird, gross fetish that she just let slip.
Bron James.
I need to judge them by their tits.
At least tits are nice to look at.
They're amazing tits.
He's a hero.
He put on a bedo cat.
No, listen to what Dr. Man have.
You read his books.
He's trying to help the black community.
And we're so ignorant that we just go, oh, well, he's a conservative.
So what's he doing?
He's got a job.
He's not.
Please stop.
I haven't seen this whole thing.
How the fuck can anyone argue with what you just said?
The worst thing I could say about it is that it's benign.
It's a given.
It's not worth saying.
It's a fact.
Two and two is four.
But is Hawk gonna fucking come down from his perch and try to eat this mouse?
It's not a mouse, Hawk.
It's a buffalo.
All you're going to do is maybe rip out a few hairs from its weird shawl.
What is that shawl that buffalo have?
That weird hairy shawl.
Maybe they're grandma's.
Maybe they designed this set.
I beg to differ.
He broke barriers.
I beg to differ.
We learned about this man in school, right?
We learned about him in school.
But when you look at people and you say, okay, they fighting for us, you are prejudging.
Get that out of your mind.
Hold on a sec.
Hold on a sec.
I don't believe you that you studied Ben Carson in school.
My kids went to public school in Brooklyn for a long time, and it was the shittiest education you can imagine.
Their notes, I told you before, they got typos in their notes from the teacher, no murkers, M-E-R-K, you're awesome, Y-O-U-R.
And the hallways were full of people like you who made it.
And it was Denzel Washington and fucking, what's her name?
Jenny from the block.
What's her name again?
Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony and all entertainers, black and Hispanic entertainers festooned the hallways.
There was a book at my kids' school, PS84, that had, it was Kanye.
This is before he was really famous.
I think this was like, this would have been 10 years ago or maybe like eight years ago.
And it was all about Kanye and how awesome he is and how, is my audio loud enough, Ryan?
And how cool he was because he dropped out of school.
One chapter of the book was called The Dropout.
I said to the school board, I go, you got to get this fucking book out of here.
You have a book in your library on how awesome it is to drop out and how successful you'll be as a rapper, which you won't be.
I promise you.
So I call bullshit that you studied Ben Carson in school.
Bullshit.
And they don't even study cool black liberals in these shitty schools.
They study Mark Anthony, Jennifer Lopez, and maybe Denzel Washington.
And Jay-Z, and fucking Jay-Z.
He fucking sold his sister crack.
I think he shot her, too.
What a hit.
Not all black people think like that.
You lead a movement where black people don't think like that.
So don't say all black people feel this way.
Again, you're not very good with numbers there, Hawk.
The black conservative movement is maybe 3% or 4% of the black community in America.
We see a lot of it because we're into it and we want their numbers to go up because we want to win.
But let's not kid ourselves.
Barack Obama got 99% of the black vote.
They vote ethnically, they vote racially, and they vote Democrat.
About what?
About Ben Carson because he's a conservative.
No, we don't.
We feel that way because we don't see the end result, the work product that he has.
Like, I judge each party.
I judge the person.
I think America is too caught up in these identity politics.
Yeah, like you?
When I see a black man, I knew he had to work twice as hard.
Unless he's Ben Carson, and then I know he has a no-show job.
Anyway, I don't do identity politics.
Polarizing culture where we just can't say, hey, that's a good man, or that's a good woman.
That person can't be good or do good things if they're on the opposite side of the world.
Add it, if you will.
He's not saying anything right now, by the way.
This is all these all these words are just like confetti at a wedding, just pulled from a little burlap sack and thrown at a bride.
What are you talking about?
Obama.
I had a lot.
I love Obama, but I had a lot of problems with his administration.
Okay?
Now, I do not like Donald Trump, but I say, wow, thank you for the first step act.
I say, why didn't the Democrats do that when they had the power?
You see the balance?
You see what he's talking about?
He's proud of himself because he didn't lick 100% of Obama's asshole.
And though he hated Trump, when Trump offered, what was it, Ice Cube, like $3.4 billion?
Remember that retarded stimulus plan that was just meant to have black people like him?
When he offered that, then this black guy went, oh, billions of dollars hurled at black people for no fucking reason.
I respect that.
Well, thank you, Hawk.
That was very magnanimous of you.
In this dynamic, so if I'm sitting here saying, hey, I'm not feeling that, brother, it's because I feel a certain way about it.
Right.
Well, I know.
And so for me, you got some of the most educated and the people that have, you talked about breaking barriers.
That's why I brought them up.
People that have broken barriers, and yet our community has rejected them because our goals have been reset culturally.
We have a community that wants to uplift.
All she has to do now is restate what she just said because it went way over his head.
And he said, yo, I just judge a brother by how I feel.
We're not talking about you, you stupid bird.
We're talking about the black population in general.
Again, it's called numbers.
And the black population in general poo-poos black conservatives such as Condoleezza Rice, Ben Carson, Thomas Sowell, Jason Riley, Candace Owens.
The list goes on.
Hail LeBron James when he puts on a beto cap.
A community that wants to hail Colin Kaepernick when he takes a knee, half-white Colin Kaepernick when he takes a knee and says he's putting, shedding light on an issue.
And then a community that rejects Clarence Thomas, who makes it to the Supreme Court, that rejects Dr. Ben Carson.
That's a good idea.
Let's go back to Colin Kaepernick.
No, no, no.
Let me just finish the point, right?
That rejects Dr. Ben Carson, a community that rejects Dr. Kaperner.
You don't understand.
Literally made it from times that you could not make it as a black person because they're old.
You know what I'm saying?
I have.
And they're called coons and Uncle Tom's and trainers.
Perfect.
It's too bad we can't hear his Colin Kaepernick bullshit.
You know that guy who was abandoned by black people, left on the street like a piece of garbage?
Then white people scooped him up and said, we'll take care of this.
We'll feed him, love him, clothe him, educate him, give him a life, give him a family, give him a shoulder to cry on, be there for him.
And what does he do when he gets to be a big boy?
Fuck this country.
Fuck white people.
This place is a racist shithole.
Fuck you.
Long motherfucking episode.
What were we?
I feel like some of that was there's news articles I have to back up some of that.
Adopting a kid is racist.
The goal of radical, well, math is still.
Yeah, go to 4-3 where math is still racist because we mentioned that in the thingamadoodle.
They're really going hard with this narrative.
Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation says math, showing your work, and correct answers are racist.
Asking students to show their work is an inherently racist practice.
So they'll offer a toolkit to help teachers develop an anti-racist math practice.
According to the toolkit, white supremacy culture shows up in math classrooms.
Like, where does white supremacy not exist?
Is chemistry false?
What's the next one?
I had two links with 43.
Like, what about in places where it matters?
Oh, yeah, this was great.
So, click on the equitable math picture.
This is what I was just talking about.
White supremacy culture shows up in math classrooms.
Also, when the focus is on getting the right answer, the concept of mathematics being purely objective is unequivocally false.
What?
It's unequivocally true.
Again, with the Orwell, up is down, down is up.
And teaching it is even much less so.
So it's teaching that is even less objective?
I don't even, that sentence is hard.
The concept of mathematics being purely objective is unequivocally false, and teaching it is even much less so.
What?
Much less.
I don't understand that sentence.
It's much less objective to teach that?
Yeah, I guess so.
Upholding the idea that there are always right and wrong answers perpetuate objectivity as well as fear of open conflict.
What's the matter with perpetuating objectivity?
Instead, choose problems that have complex, competing, or multiple answers.
Verbal example, come up with at least two answers that might solve this problem.
But that's how other things work, not math.
Like if the boat is overcrowded, there's probably 100 different things to discuss.
Or if the house is dirty, I can see different ways to solve this problem.
If the cats keep getting out, I could...
But we're talking about math.
The whole point of math, math and objectivity are inseparable.
In a way, they mean the same thing.
Challenge standardized test questions by getting the quote-unquote right answer, but justify others by unpacking the assumptions that are made in the problem.
This is fucking crazy.
Engage with the true problem solving.
Verbal example, what are some strategies we can use to engage with this problem?
Classroom activity, using a set of data, analyze it in multiple ways to draw different conclusions.
I can't.
I'm sorry.
Do I fail?
Study the art of problem solving by engaging in rich, complex math.
Oh my God.
That was harder than math.
That was harder than math.
That was racist.
Like, math could get harder.
All right, let's go to the mailbag.
Let's go to the mailbox.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dead.
Let's turn our eyes together till the end.
Let me touch it.
That was racist, guys.
You know what I was thinking for the new studio?
It's really big.
We're starting work on it now.
But I want to start the show, right?
Not ready.
So the show starts, and I'm walking to my desk.
And then you're zooming in on me and zooming out on me and getting the focus right.
And then the lights are put on.
I want all that in the show.
Sure.
Because it's kind of a Gary Shandling type thing we're doing here.
This is not Tucker Carlson.
This isn't polished.
We go off at tangents.
So it's a great way to establish that at the very beginning by like having the lights off and turning them on and stuff.
That's pretty neat.
Alcoholic and Retard.
If you're not familiar, you should check out the band called Tally Hal.
I think they aren't around anymore, but they have some wacky stuff out there.
My personal recommendation is a song called Banana Man.
Oh, I remember that.
Do you want a banana?
Their guitarist, a guy called Joe Holly, has since come out as transphobic.
It's since come out as normal.
Has since come out as your dad.
Pro-reality.
Yeah.
He doesn't like the banana men.
I'm ready.
This is early internet weird stuff.
Well, show it then.
This fucking sucks.
Why did you send this to us?
This sucks.
Jump in the middle?
Oh, fuck off, dude.
Why do you send us such shit?
Ugh.
Hey, Gav thought this was funny.
Was watching Crowder and he had some community on it.
I think he said it's funny that Coco puts vanilla in everything.
Everything tells it to be less white.
I think our observation was funnier that they took cocaine out because it makes blacks go crazy.
Dude, why the fuck is Ryan wearing a neon orange shirt?
Construction workers hate the high-viz shirts.
You work in an office and play video games.
Why do you want to pretend you're something you're not and something that actual construction workers hate?
Why do they hate them?
Because it's for LARPers?
That's the answer.
We're LARPing.
Yep, I like LARPing.
And I used to work hard jobs, landscaping jobs, moving jobs.
How long were you a landscaper for?
Not landscaper.
I would do just odd jobs that, you know, digging and fucking moving shit.
Worked at a winery, worked at a green.
How long were you digging shit?
I don't know.
Anytime it came out, my friend Gordon, he had a whole, his parents were building a whole thing on this unused property, and we went there a couple of times.
Two times?
Not two times.
I've worked fucking hard, all right?
I've worked, I mean, the Renaissance fair was not a walk in the park either.
Renaissance fair.
Yeah, because working classes, because you're dressed goofy, it's not hard.
Yeah, you're out in the sun, you're dressed like an idiot, but you're pushing hundreds of pounds, it's a barrel on a swing, and then you are, like, there's, there's a video of what I did that exists out there.
So, yeah, I don't really need your I Have Soft Hands fucking I Never Work thing.
Thanks.
Well, you're not providing us with a lot of evidence that you didn't.
The Renaissance Fair, and you helped some rich guy renovate his property?
Why?
Not a rich guy.
He had property, and we're digging shit, and we had to clear out, like, leaves and all this shit for like a, like a, not a mile, but it was.
But that wasn't your job.
No, I worked at a greenhouse.
That was a lot of.
Worked at a greenhouse?
You mean with old ladies?
No.
With Mexicans.
It was Mexican-level work.
And the Mexicans were mad because they thought that I was getting paid better and treated better, but I was intentionally getting paid worse and treated worse.
So that way they didn't offend the Mexicans, because my grandfather.
And what kind of stuff did you have to do at the greenhouse?
Well, you build pallets and you have to load up all the pallets.
You go from one end of the greenhouse to the other one.
You have to move the bulbs from the freezer to the...
That doesn't sound very hard.
The bulbs from the freezer are like a pot?
And then you have to dig.
You have to fucking plant shit.
Soil.
What do you think?
Metal.
I'm digging metal.
No, but you're digging a little pot.
You're in a pot.
Yeah, ask people that, you know, I'm not one of them.
Why are you adjusting your hair?
That you would respect what working in a greenhouse is like, and they're not going to say it's easy.
And then, you know, you got to load the trucks.
It's heavy shit.
There's dangerous shit.
I forget the one machine that was like, don't listen to your, don't put in earphones because this is really dangerous and it'll fuck you up.
It'll get your hand all fucked up.
And how long did you work there for?
Probably under a year because I got a better job at the ambulet company where, you know, where you have to help elderly people go to different...
It's a non-emergency ambulance.
I'm afraid you can't count that, my friend.
I'm not counting.
I'm just saying that's...
No, no, I'm not.
I'm saying the greenhouse.
That's not.
Okay.
I don't know.
Just yarn.
Do you mind a greenhouse?
Sure, sure.
Okay.
There's a lot of elderly women who work at greenhouses.
I envision a future where I want to be a pressure washer one day.
That's one of my goals.
And so that's a pressure washing shirt from Bobby Vans' Landscaping and.
Hey, Gavin Ryan, check out Dinesh doing his impression of Ryan talking to a therapist following the Capitol Hill walkthrough.
Definitely one of the best impressions I've heard Dinesh do.
Go to 208 in the vid.
He goes, this is a huge increase over the past.
Yes, it's very distressing.
I can't sleep.
I have nightmares.
I sometimes wake up shaking.
Sounds like you feel you've been through a war.
Exactly.
You have a PTSD?
Oh, yes, PTSD.
I also, by the way, have IBS and explosive diarrhea.
What scared you the most?
Was it the guy in the animal suit?
Totally scary.
You never know what a guy like that will do to you.
What else?
All those American flags, the banners?
These people are crazy.
I'm telling you, I heard all about it on MSNBC.
What about the guy who took off with Nancy Pelosi's podium?
That was the worst.
I mean, who steals a podium?
First, it's a podium.
Next thing you know, they're chucking.
I zoned out.
This is from someone supporting Ryan and his dinosaur bullshit.
Dear Gavin, Imperial Lord of the Fag Palace, Ryan is completely annoying, but he did save your ass in that fight at your house.
He did not save my ass.
We both beat him up.
Google, do museum keep Google Do Museum keeps dinosaur bones on display?
You'll notice that this people who are talking about how everyone else is stupid can't spell.
And then he sends me a link of the Natural History Museum, dinosaur footprints, how are they conducting.
So it's some link about from the Natural History Museum.
And then he has four-year-old girl discovers 220 million-year-old dinosaur footprint at a beach in Wales.
Okay, she discovered a footprint.
How they put dinosaur together.
Wait, are you following the same links?
That's the second link right there?
NBC News, and then there's the Scottish Sun.
Yeah, NBC News.
There's the one.
But it goes to Slate.
No, it doesn't.
It goes to NBC News.
Oh, there's two.
Click NBC News.
Slate is the third one.
So that's the one I just mentioned.
I guess that's fake.
Oh, shit.
I just fucking closed that window.
And then there's Scottish Sun.
Girl finds the same thing.
Okay.
And then we go to Slate.
And it says how museums put dinosaurs together inside the process of casting a dinosaur skeleton.
All right.
So there's that fun article.
And then he has some pictures there that show question.
How many tons of plant material did a brontosaurus have to eat per day with that tiny mouth to keep that gargantuan body upright and moving?
Then he says, dinosaurs don't make sense.
And then he shows them fucking and says someone's lying.
I noticed, by the way, today, Ryan was looking up how reptiles have sex.
So you've obviously come across this.
They could have sex, yes.
Is this part of your thing, Jurassic Farce?
Is that part of your new club?
I just, I said it because he said it and it was funny.
Jurassic Farce sounds funny.
Okay.
And then obviously then this.
But part of your movement is, that's a thing that comes up a lot, Jurassic Farce.
I don't have a movement.
I'm not subscribed to believing or disbelieving in dinosaurs.
I'm trying to do...
I'm trying to confirm why I know something.
So you know how it's not enough to be racist?
You have to be anti-racist?
It's not for you to not believe in dinosaurs.
You have to believe in dinosaurs.
Yeah.
I mean, it helps.
Instead of just drinking prehistoric Kool-Aid to see, like, do I believe in this?
Wow.
Here's something you might find interesting.
This guy talked to his girlfriend into living off the grid on an island off the west coast of Western Canada.
They both seem to be tree hugger, spelled wrong, vegan types, but it is interesting to see how their responsibilities and chores develop.
I watched a few of these.
In one of them, she gets a manual laundry ringer, and she is so excited about it.
No time stamp.
Just play it anywhere.
Snow day.
She's hot.
Shaking Nicole.
What's more on the grid than posting your videos on YouTube?
I think you're kind of missing the point.
Even if you did it later, we want to get away from technology.
We're going to film ourselves escaping technology and edit it on our computer every day.
How is she not pregnant?
Faggot.
You comfortable, bro?
Well, they have a kid already.
A furry kid.
These guys got a lot of equipment and machinery.
So basically, the only off-the-grid thing about them is you can't email them, I guess.
Wait, go back.
You got a lot of shit.
Looks kind of grittish.
I think his dad, I bet you his dad died, and he got, let's say, 250 grand.
His sister got 250 grand.
The lawyer's got 120.
His dad was lower middle class.
And he's petrified.
He's never going to have any skills or anything.
So he's like, you know what?
I'm just going to fucking spend it all now.
Or not spend it all, but like stop spending now.
Man, we grew strawberries once in our backyard.
It was such a pain in the ass.
It was so much harder than buying strawberries at the store.
All right, let's.
Final video.
Oh, shit.
This is what I did.
This isn't the...
Yeah, this is not exactly working class.
Okay.
And you should be embarrassed right now.
I'm not.
I'm not surprised by your take.
This is a man's man.
You call yourself a man.
You never spun kids in a Renaissance fair.
Nobody said it's a masculine thing.
I'm a blue-collar guy.
Nobody said, but I...
I'm a simple kind of man.
My mama told me this is pure Leonard Skynyrd stuff.
If you did last doing this job, you'd be ripped.
After a hard day.
And then there's always drunk adults that are like, hey, can you push us?
And they're like three fat Jets fans.
And they're like, we'll give you $10 if you could push us.
And yeah, and then people get creamed by that thing, too.
That's only one of the rides.
There was the crow's nest.
There was that.
There was the dragon, the coffin, all sorts of ones.
And there's no sh I don't know if you can see there's no shade there.
It gets real fucking hot and real sunny.
And it's an interesting job.
It was fun.
Just to be clear, folks, Ryan was accused of LARPing as a blue-collar dude.
He brought up this to defend himself as a hardworking guy, a blue-collar guy.
Secondly, he's not positive the earth is spherical.
Thirdly, he's not positive that dinosaurs existed.
Correct.
So you believe in prehistoric...
You just automatically, without looking into it and doing your own research, you're not.
You're not looking into it.
Do you think I just heard of dinosaurs today?
No, you've been, since you were a kid, you looked at little things like this, like little dinosaur toys.
Yeah, that's the totality of my research.
Ryan, I went to school.
I'm educated.
I've read books.
You've done nothing.
You went to retard school.
You didn't get it.
You have no education whatsoever.
So how much of it is How much dinosaur stuff do they teach you?
Lots of stuff.
Lots and lots of stuff.
Plus, when you have kids, you go over it all over again and research it all.
All right.
But it's all lies.
I'm not saying it's lies.
I'm just saying a lot of the fossils that you see in the middle of the moment.
I confirmed you, old man.
I'm not going to sit here and argue that the earth is round and that dinosaurs existed.
I'm not saying it's flat.
Oh, you're not?
No.
I'm just saying.
I want to confirm the things that we already know.
Why is the sky blue, Gavin?
Do you know why?
I've heard many explanations on why the sky is blue and why the light refracts the way it does.
But are you saying it's not blue or that it has to be confirmed?
Dude, you don't read.
And you're sitting here saying you have to question things.
All you do is noodle away on your guitar.
Someone who doesn't read and has zero education is not to tell other people that they're incurious.
You're the king of no curiosity.
When it comes to dinosaurs, you seem incurious.
Yeah, because I'm 50.
I've done the dinosaur thing for a long ass time.
Yeah, I don't know.
It's very anti-biblical to believe in big old dinosaurs roaming the earth.
No, it's not.
Trivializing God's creations by saying, we were just an afterthought.
He created dinosaurs first, and then he was like, all right, now we're going to create people.
Yeah, I'm fine with that.
He created the earth before he created people.
Wasn't he a little late on Jesus?
Wasn't there already generations and generations of man before Jesus came along?
What about all the cavemen?
What about Mesopotamia?
He was working very hands-on with humanity before Jesus came on.
So it's not like he was just sitting around just like, yeah, you guys do your stuff.
He was always...
He changed the relationship of himself and human beings depending on what they did and their activities and how.
Okay, so was there cavemen or was it Adam and Eve?
I don't know.
You don't know.
It's worth looking into.
It's worth looking into because otherwise it's just as much faith as somebody who doesn't do experiments to accept the science behind all that other stuff.
And, you know, these same people that know about the universe and all this stuff.
And it's like, well, how do you know?
I'd like to know how do you know?
That's all I'm saying.
Instead of just thinking about.
But you wouldn't like to know how you know.
I actually looked up a lot about that last night.
I was like, exactly.
You looked a lot about that last night.
Yeah.
Is there anything wrong with starting late?
Should I just give up and just like stop being curious about things?
Stop learning?
No, but you've got to be curious.
You're basically 12 years old right now.
And never stop thinking.
You're 12.
Okay.
I'm trying to get to 13.
Okay.
Well, don't talk to us adults like you're on the same plane as us.
Oh, you're inquiring.
I just brought up that I don't know if I believe in dinosaurs.
And then you were curious because thank God that you were there.
It's an interesting thing to say.
You can go through this.
Because if I was alone right now, I might kill myself.
But this is on camera.
This is going out to the world.
I don't know what we're up to now.
It was 22,000 months ago.
Let's say 25,000 people are watching this right now going.
Oh, and then this guy that was on Rogan, Trevor Vail Vale, he's a paleontologist.
And he's like a fat nerd.
And he's trying to debunk this video that's like, oh yeah, there's a bunch of shenanigans and a lot of fraud and a lot of making shit up.
And back in the day, this guy doesn't discover shit.
Like, I looked him up.
Like, he just doesn't.
He's a paleontologist, but he doesn't do anything.
He dusts off mammoth bones.
It's like, all right, mammoths, sure.
But the way that they date them is like.
Wait, you're okay with mammoths?
Those were before man?
I don't even know.
I don't know.
They were before and during man.
It's alongside the same type of thing, too.
So you don't know if mammoths exist?
I'm less interested in mammoths because that's kind of like a more believable jump since we have elephants, you know?
But lizards look a lot like dinosaurs.
Yeah.
I think crocodiles were around during dinosaurs.
Do crocodiles exist?
They do exist, yeah.
Okay.
So this guy's always...
All he does is emotionally react, like how a lot of people will when they're like, dude, dinosaurs fucking exist.
So there's a lot of him getting pissed, you know, and not actually saying anything.
He's like, no, actually, that guy's name was this.
Neil Armstrong gets pretty pissed when you tell him he didn't go to the moon, too.
Yeah, yeah.
I wonder why.
Joe was big on the no moon thing, and then out of nowhere, he was like, yeah, dude, you're an idiot if you don't believe in the moon landing.
Oh, how are you with the moon landing?
I don't know.
I haven't looked into it as much.
Hey, I've heard a lot of people say stuff on this side.
I heard a lot of people say stuff on that side.
But I mean, only people that are involved in this thing actually know for sure.
And there's a lot of deception that goes on throughout history, as you might know.
You know what you're talking about, Ryan?
You're talking about the Brontosaurus was faked.
They found a bone, a skull bone.
They merged it with some other part of a different dinosaur because the guy was in a rush to beat another paleontologist.
So because one guy cheated, and we no longer talk about brontosauruses anymore, we call it a brachiosaurus.
Because that one guy cheated, dinosaurs didn't exist.
That is the fundamentalist lunatic Christianity.
I'm not saying that they don't exist.
I'm just saying, you know, what is what is...
You got to parse some stuff out.
What about 9-11?
Did 9-11 happen?
Was that an inside job?
I don't know.
There's a lot of moving parts of that.
There's a lot of very powerful people that are involved in that sort of thing.
And there's a lot of things we don't know as civilians.
They're just people that, you know, we don't have access to a lot of information that's out there.
We don't know.
I mean, it's worth questioning and saying, are we being, how tremendously are we being fucked?
Do you believe in the election?
The election was completely fraudulent.
But there's a lot of evidence that it was fraudulent.
Well, then you, my friend.
And I. You are just as out of sight.
Because I believe that there was some sort of fraud going on doesn't mean that dinosaurs didn't exist.
But that's not popular.
People laugh at your face for thinking that.
They'll laugh at my face?
They'll laugh at it.
They'll be like, haha, look at that face.
They won't laugh on the video.
I've had enough.
I got to get out of here.
I got to run out of this studio.
This is a little old, but it's pretty great.
like dinosaurs.
5'4.
I don't want to sound misogynoir, but I don't think a woman should be entering the fray when someone is drifting, doing donuts, as we used to call them in Canada.
I was arrested for this, actually.
I don't know why, and I hope I'm not being misogynoir again, but I could watch this 750 times.
Yeah.
It could be on a painting on my wall in my home, and it would just be on repeat.
I have a feeling she did more donuts than that car ever has.
Yeah, I'm not sure when to stop watching this.
They're both destroying donuts.
So it's become a meme, and someone set it to music 5.5.
What were you thinking?
I believe I can try.
Believe in yourself.
I believe I can try.
And then we have, of course, the last one.
Or she's fine.
I wouldn't be showing this if she was dead.
It's like boxing.
You don't want to show fucking, what's his name?
Belchert's body convulsing if he's dead.
Get up.
Why does she have to get up?
Are her bones broken?
The pain is where the floor is.
You got to run away from it.
Look, she's fine.
No weave.
Look at the dent on that.
Oh, shit.
I'd be pissed if I owned that car.
Live show tomorrow night.
We're going to rock and roll you for an hour and then take calls.
We're going to make the first half hour free and the plebs can see what they're missing.
In the interim, believe in dinosaurs.
Believe in the moon landing.
Believe the earth is spherical.
Get fired.
Get in trouble.
Be brave and never stop fighting.
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