GOML LIVE #85 - FLOW ARTS
If you use fire juggling and other circus procedures to express yourself, you are officially gay. Also, the myth of alt-right comedy and Trump telling Proud Boys to storm the Capitol via a secret ear piece.
If you use fire juggling and other circus procedures to express yourself, you are officially gay. Also, the myth of alt-right comedy and Trump telling Proud Boys to storm the Capitol via a secret ear piece.
Time | Text |
---|---|
Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes. | |
Freedom of destruction! | |
This is the wild destruction, your life ain't nothing. | |
Human race is becoming a disgrace. | |
Countries are fighting in chemicals, war, fam, giving a damn up the people who live there. | |
Not your dumbest, be dead, they're coming up, they're anti- *POP* | |
That was Afrika Bambaataa and John Lydon in the form of PIL, Public Image Limited, and the song was Eve of Destruction, a raging hit from the early 80s, wherein the punk godfather, ex-Johnny Rotten of the Sex Pistols, teamed up with rap forefather Afrika Bambaataa, the man behind Electro, and they merged into what was one of the first mashups | |
In the history of pop music, that incredible jam was shot in the Bronx when John Lydon was visiting Africa and they wrote that song in 37 minutes upside down. | |
They were taking acid and listening to a series of beats written by a guy named Terminator X. | |
Who later started the band Public Enemy with a tin of beans and a friend of his called Julie Janmonson. | |
Julie went on to become the Queen of England and got AIDS. | |
That wasn't true the last part, was it? | |
Um, the beginning was true. | |
I don't know when it started becoming a lie because I believed it all until the England part. | |
They did not write the song in 37 minutes. | |
I don't know if it was shot in the Bronx. | |
but it's a cool jam and it stands up to time. | |
You're a superior version. | |
You're everlasting. | |
We are time zone. | |
We go to get the ball. | |
We're destruction. | |
Kaboom! Kaboom! | |
Kaboom! Boom! | |
I've been listening to P.I.L. | |
all week. | |
So that song was in my head. | |
Before we get started, let's thank our sponsor, Bubba & Hank's. | |
Proud veteran owned and operated, this episode is proudly brought to you by Bubba & Hank's Wagyu Meats. | |
Bubba & Hank's grows the best Wagyu in America. | |
Ground beef, steaks, roasts, briskets, ribs, you name it. | |
That's BubbaAndHanks.com, promo code Gavin for 20% off all orders. | |
Click on the Bubba's Kitchen tab when you're there and use those recipes. | |
From bombing the living shit out of the Gaddafi to milking cows. | |
Bubba and Hanks is proudly America's number one Wagyu. | |
That is BubbaAndHanks.com, promo code Gavin for 20% off all orders. | |
And I'd like to say to Vincent, our sales guy, buddy, you don't have to write www dot. | |
Okay? | |
What are you, a baby boomer? | |
Fucking grow up, my guy. | |
Do you have that footage of him falling on his ass? | |
Let's show that. | |
I have to send it to myself. | |
Let's see. | |
I have to send it to myself. | |
Let's see. | |
Let's see if I can send it to myself. | |
Yeah, it really is fantastic beef. | |
And you know, you don't really care about beef until you have really good beef. | |
And then you go, I guess I care about beef. | |
I guess this is delicious. | |
I guess I should be more particular. | |
Fantastic stuff. | |
Texas. | |
Remember we had that guy who flew down there to go meet them? | |
We have some billionaire who watches our show and he jumped in his plane, flew down there and said, hey, I heard about you on Gavin's show. | |
I don't know if we ever mentioned that on the show. | |
I think we were in the car when I heard that. | |
That might have never been mentioned to the viewers. | |
Oh, some rich guy just heard the show, thought that sounds cool, jumped in his plane, went and met them, hung out with them, had some steaks, and then rode his plane home. | |
I'm not a little plane guy. | |
In upstate New York, they're everywhere. | |
Every, like, white trash farmer has a plane. | |
Because back before there was roads, that's how you got around. | |
And I'm just not comfortable with that. | |
Sorry, folks. | |
Those doctor death mobiles? | |
Doctors always die in them? | |
Doctor killers, yeah. | |
Yeah, doctor killers. | |
When we had a place in Costa Rica, we used to ride a little tiny one-prop sansa flight. | |
One-prop little plane. | |
Like, here in America, you have to have two. | |
So if one goes out, you're fine. | |
But, uh, not in Costa Rica. | |
We sold all our dead planes over there. | |
So now they have a plane where if one engine dies, we're dead. | |
And when the turbulence is bad, you poop your panties. | |
It's fucking scary. | |
Speaking of which, I saw in the paper today that the pilot wanted to keep Kobe happy. | |
So, uh, he went right through a cloud. | |
And then he got so disoriented he thought he was pulling up. | |
But he's actually plummeting down. | |
I don't quite get that. | |
Isn't this what you do to go up? | |
Yeah. | |
I know a helicopter pilot. | |
Let's see what he says. | |
I got the viddy. | |
Okay, let's see the video of our sales guy falling. | |
I just like the confidence that it starts with. | |
Why does he have a mask in his own house? | |
Maybe he knows this was gonna be aired. | |
Here he goes. | |
Hi! | |
Let's give old Billy a call. | |
See if he's there. | |
He would not be happy to know he's on a show. | |
These older gents are very quiet. | |
They don't like being public. | |
Hey Bill, you're live. | |
Did you hear about this Kobe Bryant helicopter pilot? | |
No, I did not. | |
Well apparently he thought he was going up when he was going down and they call it spatial disorientation. | |
Spatial disorientation, yes. | |
Spatial disorientation. | |
That's when your inner ear spins around and you think you're up but you're down. | |
But isn't a helicopter things, don't they pull up like a plane? | |
Yeah, but if you think you're, if you think you're going, if you think you're going, put it this way, you do the opposite reaction. | |
Your inner ear has a fluid in it. | |
It spins to keep you balanced. | |
And when you're flying, it goes different spatial disorientation. | |
Now, if you think you're going up, you're going to push the nose down. | |
That's why they train a pilot. | |
Trust your instruments. | |
Don't trust yourself. | |
So when you think you're not doing something, you look at the instrument. | |
If you can't see outside your windscreen, whatever the instruments say, if you think you're going up, but it's saying you're going down, you pull up. | |
If it says you're going up and you think you're going down, you follow your instruments. | |
They're accurate. | |
So, I also heard he should have had a T-A-W-S, a Terrain Awareness Warning System, and that would have told him he was near a mountain. | |
Uh, yeah, but a lot of people don't listen to that. | |
But the thing is, you don't need that. | |
Like I said, when you're flying, you're seeing your instruments, attitude, heading, vertical speed, and attitude, heading, vertical speed, and then you look at your artificial horizon. | |
And that's it. | |
You follow your instruments. | |
When you can't see out of the windscreen, you don't know what you're doing. | |
If I put you in a chair and I spin you in a circle, and as you try to get up, you think you're walking left because you're going right. | |
Oh, that reminds me, one more thing, and this is really important. | |
Go ahead. | |
I fucking knew it. | |
I saw that coming from a mile away, unlike Kobe's helicopter pilot. | |
Kobe died of hating traffic. | |
I hate traffic too, Cobe. | |
Not enough to die. | |
- Hi, this was a really good article. - Arlo's just there. - Uh. - Hello? | |
Yes, something important you hung up on me. | |
Yeah. | |
Yeah. | |
That's it, bye. | |
Yeah. | |
Yeah. | |
Is that one of those one of your things to be continued next episode? | |
Yeah. | |
What's up? | |
That's it. | |
Bye. | |
That was it? | |
Yeah. | |
Oh, you really did hang out? | |
Yeah. | |
I thought you got cut off. | |
No, I'm being funny. | |
Oh, you're not. | |
*laughter* That's how guys talk to one another. | |
That is fucking funny. | |
He said, when he met my dad at the bar, he goes, look, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about with your fucking accent, but if you don't learn English soon, I'm going to call ICE. | |
This article is amazeballs. | |
Smug lefty is holier than plow. | |
Rips Megan Naibs who clear her drives. | |
So she's some horrific cunt who, she lives in Brooklyn. | |
She works for, I don't know, some lefty, Los Angeles Times. | |
I don't know why she lives in Brooklyn. | |
And some rich person says, stay at my place upstate. | |
So she does, and she lives upstate, and she's got, NPR shit on the walls and Noam Chomsky and she's in some sort of leftist hell haven and It's been snowing like crazy here in New York. | |
So some rich MAGA dude plows her driveway for her and It's really hard for her. | |
What can you do about the Trumpies next door? | |
She asks because yes that person did a nice thing for me, but someone they support was trying to kill millions of Americans What do you do with one kind act after years of support for a man who showed near murderous contempt toward most Americans? | |
Say thank you, bitch. | |
What's her name? | |
You got to look her up because it shows you how you have to be careful when you're finding a mate because they can really go from an 8 to a 2 overnight. | |
So look up Virginia Heffernan. | |
H-E-F-F-E-R-N-A-N. | |
Got heifer in it, that's not good. | |
Yeah, that's your first sign. | |
You could date the hottest girl in the world, but if her name is like Joanna Cowley... The cow's gonna come forth. | |
Crowley would be good, but... So, image... Google Imgur? | |
Yeah, so look how pretty she was. | |
Oh, that was her? | |
That looks like, I thought that was a different person. | |
I know, she looks so healthy and she's not too hot. | |
Like, that's a nice girl next door, nice and thin. | |
I like her little teeth. | |
Yeah, the goofy smile is pretty cute. | |
Yeah, she's got some real, like, Irish potential there. | |
Right? | |
And look at the black and white one in the corner. | |
Like, that's a model. | |
That's a model. | |
I'm married to a model but who's not too hot. | |
It's a model with a cute little bit of cuteness to her. | |
And then she gets the ring and becomes the heifer that she is. | |
Womp womp womp womp womp womp womp. | |
Look at that tumor on her cheek. | |
That could be cancerous. | |
That's a microphone. | |
You know what you do with that is you wrap dental floss around the base and you cut off the blood supply and it'll just fall off. | |
Around the what? | |
The bass? | |
Hello, you've got a bass! | |
Wait, if she has a microphone in her hand, why does she need that little tumor microphone? | |
Yeah, good point. | |
What the heff? | |
We want to double mic you, just in case. | |
I didn't have time, my computer's a piece of shit. | |
I've had this computer since, uh, for ten years. | |
That's a long time for one of these, isn't it? | |
Yep. | |
This woman compares her Trump-supporting neighbors who plowed her driveway to Nazi sympathizers in Hezbollah and wrestles whether to show them any kindness since she can't give them absolution. | |
Wait a minute. | |
Doesn't, uh... I thought only a priest can give absolution. | |
Can we give absolution to each other? | |
Did she just accidentally deify herself and make her into some godlike figure who hands out pardons? | |
Anyway, my internet is poopy. | |
No, my computer's poopy. | |
My mail's fucked up. | |
My thing about my email is I've kept all my old emails, like Rooster New York and Street Carnage, even Vice. | |
So I have like 72 email addresses and occasionally it'll be updating and it just gets overwhelmed. | |
And you know what, computer? | |
I don't blame it. | |
I don't blame you, dude. | |
It's a lot to deal with. | |
So I've emailed you some articles, but before we get to that, we're now at the mid-roll. | |
We're only going to do a half hour of freebie show, although you are getting two hours, folks at home who pay. | |
And by the way, folks at home who pay, what a show you get! | |
One and a half to two hours a day. | |
Rollicking fun times. | |
And you know what I love about this show? | |
It's not all news. | |
No disrespect to Ben Shapiro and Tim Pool, but they just power through the news. | |
Joey Saladino. | |
I love all those guys. | |
Tucker Carlson. | |
But they're just powering through the news. | |
We will go off on a tangent about tits for 10 minutes in a new segment we have called 10 Minutes of Tits. | |
Bumper. | |
That's a bumper. | |
We riff. | |
It's got much more of a radio vibe. | |
More of an Opie and Anthony, Howard Stern-y thing. | |
But without the fucking sycophantic interviews. | |
You don't listen to Howard Stern, but... The interviews as of late are such an ass-licking festival that I'm worried he's gonna get Hepatitis C. It's just how wonderful you are, Kristen Wiig. | |
Oh, George Clooney, you're so talented. | |
It must be so wonderful to be so talented. | |
How do you do it? | |
Do you get nervous when you're doing these? | |
Do you get nervous? | |
Are your brother jealous of you? | |
It's almost like your brother's jealous. | |
Um, but let's take a break here halfway through the first half hour and talk about Johnny Apple CBD. | |
Proud Patriot owned. | |
www dot. | |
So go to your URL browser and type in HTTP colon slash slash www dot J-A-C-B-D dot com. | |
Entry promo code Gavin, 20% off all orders. | |
Again, this is all the goodness of pot without the illegality and the crippling high. | |
So you've got the vape, you've got the tinctures. | |
I know, you know, people who grow real pot, They always tell me, the first thing everyone always asks them is, can you get me any weak weed? | |
That's what people want now. | |
They are sick of this LSD marijuana. | |
It's too intense. | |
We're not Snoop Dogg. | |
We're not Willie Nelson. | |
So this is weaker than the weakest weed, but there's still some good feelings in there. | |
You don't need THC to have some good, good vibes. | |
So we have the vape. | |
We have the tinctures to take the edge out of your coffee. | |
I haven't been drinking coffee recently. | |
We have the gummies, we have the concentrates, we have the topical, we have the aphrodite. | |
I recommend trying the topicals on your sore muscles. | |
I'm actually gonna try it on my cracked ribs. | |
These are getting worse, by the way. | |
Getting out of the car is like getting gang raped by homeless people. | |
I carry Tiger Balm with me. | |
Really? | |
You ever try that? | |
I did when I was a child when I was like 19. | |
I think it's it's getting like it's hitting a new level of popularity these days. | |
Like I've been hearing about this tiger bomb a lot. | |
It was big in the 90s dude. | |
Huh. | |
You know what my friend said when he called me today? | |
And he's really got his ear to the ground. | |
He goes, good news. | |
What? | |
This is over. | |
This bullshit. | |
The pendulum is swinging the other way. | |
I think America has said, alright, alright, alright. | |
You won. | |
We're out. | |
Trump's gone. | |
This impeachment thing is getting a little tedious. | |
So wrap that up. | |
Do what you're going to do with that. | |
But arresting every single person who was in D.C. | |
on January 6th and relentlessly talking about them, it's getting boring and I'm getting annoyed. | |
So shut up. | |
Even within the FBI and the CIA, apparently, they're going, yeah, we signed up to bust child sex trafficking rings and Drug cartels. | |
We didn't sign up to bust my mom. | |
So can we dial it back a bit? | |
Because getting everyone's Bank of America info on who traveled there is a bit much. | |
But look up this article I just sent you where this woman is claiming that Trump was talking to Proud Boys previous to January 6th. | |
Are you catching up? | |
So he said, stand back and stand by. | |
And we all know that was a typo. | |
He meant to say stand down. | |
No one minds when Biden says poor boys. | |
He's allowed infinite typos. | |
But Trump, if he says stand back and stand by, it means he has a personal army ready, which is absurd. | |
No politician would ever risk Being in constant contact with Proud Boys, no matter how much he loved them. | |
Like, Tucker Carlson would never acknowledge Proud Boys, even though they were in his studio when they were bodyguarding Roger Stone. | |
He's like, I don't want anything to do with that shit. | |
I don't know who you are. | |
Fuck off. | |
But the idea of a President of the United States calling a bunch of fucking drunks and being, you guys ready? | |
This shit's going down, Jan 6. | |
It's such a juvenile, babysitter way to see the world. | |
What a fucking idiot this woman is. | |
Democrats claim Trump conspired with Proud Boys on message boards. | |
Wow. | |
You better not pussy out. | |
Here, do his voice, Ryan. | |
At Donald Trump, number 33. | |
That's my... They call it a handle. | |
That's what they call it. | |
We're gonna go down there, upvote this so that we can... Can you pin this to the top of the board? | |
I don't like when it gets lost. | |
Gotta pin it. | |
I swear to God, if any of you pussies fuckin' pussy out tomorrow, I'm gonna fuckin' arrest you. | |
We're in this together. | |
I told you to stan Black and stan Bly. | |
Loud and clear, I said stan Black and stan Bly. | |
Stan Black! | |
That means you. | |
Let me see the article. | |
No, that's Orion. | |
House impeachment managers argued Wednesday afternoon that then-President Obama had not only incited January 6th, but had secretly planned the riot by conspiring with the Proud Boys. | |
Delegate Stacey Plaskett, look at her. | |
Go up. | |
Look at her. | |
These are the numbskulls that are in office. | |
Fucking imbeciles. | |
Wait, what? | |
Wait, what? | |
I think that's Plaskett? | |
And who's this bitch? | |
Wait, is Breitbart trying to be politically correct? | |
So they make fun of a fucking idiot and they go, we can't show her, she's black. | |
Let's just show some dumb white woman. | |
Maybe. | |
This could be her Madeline Dean. | |
Okay, hold on. | |
Yeah, it probably is. | |
They always choose the white woman. | |
Correct. | |
Okay, so two of the stupidest people in the history of politics have decided that Trump is on telegram and signal and fucking gab. | |
He is on gab now, I heard. | |
Stacey Plaskett brought up the debunked claim that Trump used his appearance at the first presidential debate. | |
Well, the latter is true, I guess. | |
So how does she know that he knew about and approved of them? | |
That's a pretty big claim. | |
The latter is true, I guess. | |
She also claimed that Trump and his aide monitored right-wing message boards and that they both knew about and approved of violent messages being posted there by people who were planning to come to Washington, D.C. | |
So how does she know that he knew about and approved of them? | |
That's a pretty big claim. | |
Plaskett offered no evidence, of course, of actual coordination between Trump and these groups, but observed conspiratorially that members of the mob at the Capitol riot were seen wearing earpieces during the... | |
So that was Trump. | |
Like, here's what I was thinking the other day. | |
People like Stacey Plaskett, they've watched too many movies. | |
I was watching Blue Bloods in the bar today, and it's some like gang warfare thing, and of course they throw down the guy on the ground and they arrest him, and he looks like my brother. | |
He is a 30 year old middle class white guy. | |
And that's usually the bad guys. | |
Look at a commercial for a security system and it's always like white dudes robbing a house. | |
Home invasion. | |
And so you have numbskulls like these two women saying Trump has an earpiece and it's all white dudes. | |
But um. | |
I think, with Worldstar and everything, the next generations, not Gen X, Gen X and Baby Boomers believe movie-type narratives. | |
That Trump talks to blue-collar workers and has them storm the Capitol. | |
There we go. | |
Criminal stock photo, yeah. | |
Yeah, criminals. | |
Typical crims. | |
Gen Z and Gen Y, they're only interested in reality. | |
I understand there's a contradiction here because they're also social justice warriors and they're in their little bubbles, but bubbles are more like Facebook related. | |
I have a hunch that the younger generations are so inundated with reality that they know the stats. | |
They know that blacks are disproportionately represented in violent crime. | |
They know that Hispanics are disproportionately represented in heroin dealing with El Chapo and all this oxyshit that tends to be Mexican gangs. | |
They're starting to see that if you want to talk about race wars in America, it's brown on black. | |
In California, we have Hispanics murdering blacks just because of their race. | |
And there's also going through all their footage on Reddit and going, I'm not seeing a ton of Nazi skinheads here. | |
So although the media and the FBI says it's domestic terrorists, it's white supremacists, that's who's everywhere. | |
I think the younger generations are going on their phone going, okay, where are they? | |
I watched a hundred shootings on my phone today. | |
Not one Nazi skin. | |
So anyway, go back to these numbskulls. | |
She offered no evidence. | |
Representative Madeleine Dean, the lightbulb head we saw at the top, made similar claims, arguing that Trump had disseminated violent messages in rallies. | |
She claimed that he knew the rally he convened at the Ellipse would be violent. | |
He'd assembled thousands of violent people, people he knew were capable of violence, people he had seen be violent. | |
See, that's more nebulous. | |
That's just a silly statement, but it's hard to disprove because it's just rhetoric. | |
Well that, that, that huge rally, that huge MAGA rally in DC, there was no violence there. | |
So it's, you know. | |
Go back to the article? | |
It's Stacey Plaskett that should be the picture for this article. | |
She then claimed President Trump deliberately incited them, that he lit the fuse and sent the angry mob to the perceived enemy. | |
This is so, this whole thing is so fucking retarded! | |
Trump doesn't want to run again and we don't want him again. | |
We don't want a 70 or 80 year old who can't build a wall and freeze a bunch of rappers so people don't think he's racist. | |
That's boring to us. | |
Also, The Swamp let him run as a joke. | |
They assumed he wouldn't win. | |
They're never doing that again. | |
They are going to keep their cards close to their chest from now on. | |
No Republicans ever getting in again unless he's from the Swamp. | |
Now there's good guys in the Swamp. | |
There's Matt Goetz. | |
There's Ron DeSantis. | |
But outsiders coming in? | |
Like Candace Owens thinks she can run? | |
She can run. | |
But she can't hide. | |
This is messed up. | |
I didn't know that. | |
Oh my God, this guy. | |
They cut out peacefully. | |
Dems played Trump's remarks at impeachment trial, but Lee Vought called it peacefully. | |
Oh yeah, I saw that. | |
And if we buy this radical argument. | |
This guy has the worst hair. | |
First of all, I can't tell if that's a yarmulke or a bald spot. | |
I guess it's a bald spot. | |
Play more? | |
Yeah. | |
Is that the worst bald spot you've ever seen? | |
Is that a burn accident? | |
If I wasn't Jewish and I had that hair, I'd become Jewish. | |
Did you pass out into a barbecue? | |
Did you do a Vincent fall backwards, but into a lava pit? | |
Is that a scalp? | |
What is that thing? | |
What is that thing? | |
It looks like a worn out piece of carpet. | |
But that's not the worst of his hair. | |
Here, scroll down, get his exact name. | |
I forget his name. | |
Um... Boop-a-doop-a-da. | |
He said, so that means he showed his face already in his name. | |
Now the he is Trump. | |
What's this guy's name again? | |
I got it on my fucking phone. | |
Um... Wait, he puts his mask on when he's done speaking? | |
What will the January 6th to become our future? | |
Democrats impeachment. | |
And what will that mean for America? | |
Think about it. | |
Look up just Democrat. | |
Just look up impeachment lawyer Dems. | |
This guy's hair is a horror movie. | |
I mean, just cut it very, very short, dude. | |
No. | |
Did you write Dems? | |
Let's meet him. | |
Let's meet them. | |
Oh, that's him on the right, right? | |
I think so. | |
What does it say? | |
Okay, let's see. | |
Madeline Dean. | |
Eric Swalwell? | |
No. | |
David Cicilline. | |
Jamie Raskin. | |
I think it's Raskin. | |
Yeah, yeah, it's the Raskin guy. | |
Raskin? | |
Yeah, yeah, it is. | |
His name is Jamie? | |
Jamie Raskin? | |
That's worse than Judd Legume. | |
Now look at his fucking hair. | |
Look at that. | |
That's like Jeff Goldblum in The Fly. | |
Yeah, yeah, mid-transition. | |
He's turning into a fly. | |
Look at that rat's nest. | |
That's much better. | |
That's just like Howard Stern's pubes. | |
But look at that mess. | |
Dude, could you have worse fucking hair? | |
He has the worst hair in the world. | |
Oh, he's feeling himself in that one. | |
Okay, at least he's got some shit in it there. | |
He's trying to tame the beast. | |
That's fine. | |
But, like, look at some of this shit. | |
What the hell? | |
He's worse than Trey Gowdy. | |
And he's got a different do at every shot. | |
Yeah, there's no consistency. | |
Just get some fucking clippers, dude. | |
And accept that your hair was never meant to see the light of day. | |
You know how many times you heard when he gelled it? | |
It looks good like that, gelled. | |
It looks good. | |
And he's like, really? | |
That's the worst, that's every man's nightmare. | |
This is, I would argue that this is why guys like you, millennials, wear beanies. | |
Because they may have an inclination of that, they may have a tendency to drift towards that, so they beanie it up after a shower, trying to straighten it so it won't turn into... Yes. | |
Look at that! | |
What is happening behind your ears, sir? | |
It's fine. | |
His hair is so shitty it's trying to escape itself. | |
It's trying to leave his head. | |
I don't want to be part of this. | |
There's a coup going on, on top of his fucking head. | |
That's good. | |
That's one of the better ones. | |
Business in the front and parties over in the back. | |
Look at this Raskin. | |
You must be so fucking green with envy. | |
Look at this gorgeous hair. | |
Hair guys over here. | |
Alright, so that's enough free shit for the faggots. | |
Let's end this and say |