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Dec. 15, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:15:35
S03E52 - WASTED YOUTH [2020-12-15 - S03E52 - WASTED YOUTH]
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Anyone else getting the jingle tingles?
Ryan, are you getting the jingle tingles?
Yes.
That was the waitresses and Christmas rapping, I believe it is.
We'll be playing Christmas songs from now till Christmas.
Christmas sweaters from now till Christmas.
Great band from Ohio.
Kind of weird post-punk.
She sang like she's talking all the time.
She does that, I know what boys like.
They also did the theme song to Square Pegs, there just for Purpose debut.
Turn it up.
Back when saxophones were permitted.
Look how mediocre she is.
So Midwestern, huh?
Yeah.
You can get your vaccine now.
She's some black nurse was the first.
It comes complete with AIDS.
That's right, folks.
It has fucking AIDS in it.
There is...
I'm not even kidding.
I don't want to be injected with AIDS or bleach, so that's a no from me.
Although Anthony Cumia has it.
I was going to have dinner with him this Friday, and Keynes canceled it because there's no more indoor dining.
And he canceled it because he has the cove.
And I said, what's it like?
He goes, it sucks.
And then all his fans are like, you said it didn't exist.
Now, how do you feel?
Wait, I pronounced that wrong.
You said it didn't exist.
Now, how do you feel?
Yeah, that's better.
And he goes, I never said it didn't exist.
I said, we don't need to shut down the entire country for it.
That was like a second language inflection you just did before.
Like it was my English wasn't my mother tongue.
Yeah, now how does it feel?
What are you doing, you retard?
Today's book is a wonderful little break.
Sometimes after a hard day of reading the news and dealing with crises like your payment processor, you don't feel like reading Kierkegaard.
So you pick up this, Kafka by Robert Cruman David Zane Marowitz.
And it takes this Jewish Czech's writings.
And it talks about his life.
Illustrations on every page is my point, if you're feeling lazy, right?
But he's such a fantastic artist that I could just stare at.
I have a dentist light in my man cave, and I put on these crazy glasses that blow everything up.
And with my super light above my head, I can see every little crosshatching he does because I could spend a day looking at a rubber crumb drawing.
They're so fucking beautiful.
He's so gifted and he's worked so hard at it over the years.
So anyway, this has all of Kafka's hits.
It's got the burrowing and the metamorphosis and the judgment and all those.
But it also has tons of autobiographical stuff, or sorry, biographical stuff about his life.
I think I might reread it.
I haven't read it in like 10 years.
You might think I'm a very literary dude because we have a new book every day, but I've never thrown a book out.
So when I'm showing you books, I'm going back to like when I moved out of the house at 18, I've never thrown one book away.
I've got shelves upon shelves.
I guess you could say I collect them.
I kind of always been hoping for house arrest, but I probably just set up a studio in there anyway.
So yeah, our payment processor, we sort of stopped talking about it because I believe the threat of litigation has maybe, don't jinx it, fingers crossed, made them buckle and give us our data.
I'd say we're now at a one in three chance.
So I'm holding back.
Stand your ground, stand black and stand by, and we'll see if we have to unleash the hounds.
So let's just stick a pin in that.
Apparently they shut down a bunch of people, V-Dare, some like organization for the family.
I don't know.
I was kind of mad at my tech guy because I go, why did you even sign up with Stripe in the first place?
He goes, I don't know.
I didn't think they do something illegal like take our data.
And when we say our data, it means the credit cards, right?
But we'll see if they're doing that.
I didn't put this in the notes, Ryan, but I should have mentioned this yesterday.
Milo takes up so much of the fucking show.
I can't get a word in edgewise with that big giant fop.
But a man with a perfect boxing record, Jake Paul.
He's never lost a fight.
100% of his fights have ended in knockouts.
And he wants to fight a fighter, a boxer who has the opposite, I believe.
100% of his fights have been failures.
Boxing matches, that is.
Let's see who we're talking about.
Oh, that's him harassing a...
His counter dirt is big right there!
Pussy!
Pussy!
Piece of shit!
Pussy!
This trainer.
That looks pretty staged, doesn't it?
I don't know.
Yeah, it looks like there was like, I don't know if he was laughing, but he made his profile.
It look kind of like he was laughing.
Yeah, look at him.
Oh, there the picture is him getting hit.
I don't think you could do that.
I think that's illegal, right?
To throw things at people.
I'm all for it, but...
I know a guy who went to Juvie for a water balloon, but he had it in a giant slingshot.
This is when we were kids.
Oof.
And he launched it from his balcony across the street, smashed an apartment window.
And the charge was launching a deadly projectile.
Apparently, you can get that if you throw eggs at a dude and it fucks up his eye.
You're launching a deadly projectile.
So let's see him calling Connor out, though.
You Iris cunt.
Good morning, Connor McGregor.
I know you're probably beating up old dudes in a bar right now, or maybe you're jacking off because you're sick of fucking your wife.
I mean, she's a four-connor.
You could do a lot better, but happy Monday.
My team sent you a $50 million offer this morning.
$50 million cash, proof of funds, the biggest fight offer you've ever been offered, but you're scared to fight me, Connor.
You're ducking me because you don't want to lose to a fucking YouTuber.
You're 0-1 as a boxer.
I'm 2-0 as a boxer.
I just came off the eighth biggest pay-per-view event in history, but you want to fight Dustin Prober, who has less followers on Instagram than my fucking dog.
That's a fact.
We're the eighth most powerful country in the world.
We are Turkey.
Fucking pussy too, you ugly fucking bald bitch.
You said there's 0% chance of this fight happening, but there's 0% chance of you getting some fucking pussy.
Connor, you're scared.
Dana, you're scared.
Sign the fucking contract, you idiots.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Irish bitch.
Fuck me God.
Are you watching Copper Cab?
It is Copper Cab.
Yeah, it's Copper Cab Kafka.
Okay, let's settle this once and for all.
Who the fuck are these people?
I'm not two.
Who is Jake Paul?
Like, I understand he's a YouTuber and he does pranks and he has things over, but I'm like, what did he cut his chops on?
Connor McGregor is an Irish MMA fighter who did an exhibition fight boxing once.
I know who Conor McGregor is.
Got it.
Gavin McInnis, media guy.
He does these little internet TV shows.
He's the most banned man in history.
We know who I am.
Ryan Ketsu Rivera is a guy with Down syndrome, but people can't tell because he's half Japanese.
But like, what's his most successful video?
Did he make it cut his bones playing video games and commenting?
Like all these other guys?
Vine?
Okay.
Okay, what does he do on Vine?
Vine's.
I need to see.
Well, when Vine was a thing, I think he was a funny man on there.
Okay, well, Logan Paul's his brother, so I assume he does what Logan Paul did.
Why can't you get me this?
Just go to Logan Paul's YouTube.
There are 13 reasons why he's famous.
I know, but I'm not looking at any footage.
Okay.
You're just an article with random pictures.
Well, we'll dive into them, but I mean, let's breeze through them.
He's a vine celebrity.
He did Disney's Bolsavark, whatever the fuck is that.
He did a bro song, like a viral video.
That's not the answer.
He's Logan Paul's brother.
He was on Low and Order.
He's had a couple acting things.
The Jake Paulers, okay?
No, no, this is all irrelevant stuff.
This is not a good article.
What were his videos?
See, Jake Paul.
Just look him up on YouTube, for fuck's sakes.
Viral.
I mean, does he drive around with people and do karaoke?
What's his actual channel, Ryan?
Jake Paul.
Well, it seems like his YouTube video thing came later.
First, he was a viny boy.
So he does music now.
This is his 20 million subscriber YouTube channel.
Okay, go to videos and now do sort by biggest thing.
Most popular.
Yeah.
His music videos are the most popular.
Okay.
But these are just, you know, three years ago and stuff like that.
And then go scroll way down.
Like, let's see what he started with.
Well, then we'd have to go chronologically instead of popularity.
So oldest.
Date added oldest.
Vine compilation.
Exactly.
Okay.
The sneeze.
What's up?
Snow.
I like snow.
Excuse me.
I just got engaged for the love of my wife.
Great pranks.
Oh, you need to ride home.
SpongeBob?
SpongeBob!
I know you're in there.
You need to come out right now, or else I'm going to come inside there, and I'm going to find you, okay?
Logan, you spite on each other.
Got it.
Yeah.
And I assume Logan Paul is the same thing.
It's Vine Silly Man.
Speaking of Vine, I have some kind of heavy news, folks.
I think we're breaking this story.
But Perez Hilton has been banned from TikTok.
Now, he's here live to tell us exactly what happened, and he wants to send a message to you and his other fans.
I think we basically have the same audience.
So you maybe have heard this before.
Perez, can you tell us what's happening?
Why were you banned?
What happened?
Hey, everybody.
It is Perez, and some of you may have heard that I have been permanently banned from TikTok.
His eyes are going to give you guys...
His eyes are the eyes of someone whose mom died, and he's been up all night crying because he held her in his arms.
I don't even think I would cry that much if my mom died.
Like, I mean, that much.
I think I would cry for like 20 minutes, maybe?
I don't know.
I've never tried it.
But that is all night.
That's all night tears.
Some updates on that and share some more information.
First, the reason that TikTok gave me for permanently banning my account without any warning is multiple community guidelines violations.
If you guys don't know how TikTok works, it's run by bots artificial intelligence.
So you're watching us assuming that his TikToks were really, really important.
They were very creative.
They took a lot of work.
They conveyed a lot of information.
They were crucial to his survival.
Maybe it was some Bitcoin real estate tips.
I don't know.
Let's see what we're no longer able to enjoy now that he's banned from TikTok.
I'm horny in the house and I'm in the house horny.
I'm horny in the house and I'm in the house horny.
I'm horny in the motherfucking in the house horny and I'm horny in the house.
No one's taking this away from us.
Look, he's one of those fat guys who lost the weight.
Now he has those weird bitch tits.
Yeah, and his face is too big for his face.
One second.
It's like the eyebrows get too big.
Look at them jiggle.
Look at the skin jiggle.
It's like a sub-girl.
It's like if Willem Dafoe's face was an entire body.
Does that make sense?
But this is what.
This isn't even like what little girls do.
Little girls do a little routine, and it's all the thing with the doo-hickey and the doopy-doo.
He's not even doing that.
He's just prancing around like a fat queer.
Like a formerly fat queer.
Formerly fat current queer.
That's cute.
Point?
The same thing.
More the same.
Anyway, let's get back to his discussion on being banned.
Dude, try to get banned from something a little more crucial, like Chase Bank or Uber or PayPal.
And I get my videos reported targeted attacks against me by people who don't like me all the time.
And I appeal them and then they get restored almost always.
Not always.
And I'll talk about that in a little bit.
Good.
Can you cover that in the second hour?
Imagine sitting here and just watching this and being interested.
Nine minutes of this.
Nine minutes.
Don't worry, folks.
He will not subject it to nine minutes, but he does start crying.
And we need to see those tears.
Hey, I created a backup TikTok account.
Okay.
I think we can start skipping.
That got shut down, too.
He's about to say.
Okay.
Was it called Melting Steve Ranazzizi Wax Sculpture?
What?
He looks like a melting Steve Ranazizi.
I don't know who Steve Ranazzizi is.
What?
The guy who lied about 9-11 on Frun?
Oh.
And I want to reveal that in a Hail Mary pass, hoping for a Christmas miracle, I have reached out to Charlie D'Amelio and her family.
I messaged them on Instagram, begging them.
I met him once.
We did a do's and don'ts together when I was at Vice.
That was like 2004.
So Charli D'Amelio is a really cute Asian-looking Italian chick who's like the most popular one and does the most dances and the shit.
I don't think she's on the board at TikTok.
I don't think she makes the decisions.
I will leave if you don't reinstate it.
So you get kicked off a platform and you contact the most popular person on that platform and say what?
A Hail Mary?
What's it like to be on there still?
That's the sister.
She's very popular.
Well, congratulations.
She's the one on the right.
I hope I'm not lusting after, and I'm not lusting.
I just said she's attractive, okay?
But I hope this girl is of age.
What?
I know her as the Dunkin' Donuts girl because in Dunkin' Donuts, they have like a special her drink.
I know.
That used to be so much fun.
Yeah.
So people like her.
I would want in it.
That's a great story, Ryan.
You would perez should do a show.
Anyway, this is her and her sister having a talk show that's very dull and heavily sponsored, apparently.
But she usually is dancing around on TikTok.
So she's going to save him, I guess.
Look at this.
An old man.
Look at this.
When I was young, this is not bias.
When I was young, my youth culture was better than their youth culture.
TikTok is fucking gay at any age.
Prez Hilton is sub-gay.
And all of this like e-boys looking sexy and stuff, it's all fucking cringe.
Hey, young people, your culture is all cringe.
Anime, video games, fucking Instagram, you're all losers.
You know what I was doing when I was your age?
Driving a Chevy Nova with a girl in the back seat, smoking a cigarette and listening to Led Zeppelin 2.
Then you know what I did when we got to the parking lot?
I fucked her.
Okay?
I was 16.
You know what I was doing when I was 14?
Getting in a fistfight with Barry Pablo.
We were going to punk shows when we were 14 in the city, getting beat up by Nazi skinheads.
God damn.
Dancing and being sexy.
I just learned about e-boys.
Do you know what an e-boy is?
Yeah, it's like an e-girl, but a boy.
And they do, but instead of like, if you want to turn on chicks, I don't know, have a job, build a shelf, be reliable, and don't talk too much.
Those are male characteristics that make women horny.
Beat up some guy who's harassing a chick.
That makes women wet.
They don't get wet when you're...
Like, they do this thing where they'll be a nerd.
Ryan, you should be pulling up e-boys as I described this.
I'm obviously waiting for you.
I'm obviously filling the space.
What are you doing?
They'll do this thing where they're like a nerd.
Like, I'm just a nerd.
And then they'll take off their glasses and go, actually, I'm fucking hot.
And they won't say that, literally, but you should be pulling up videos, my dear.
E-boy compilation.
And then they'll come out and I'm not a nerd.
I'm actually a smokeshow.
And you're like, that's a chick thing.
Where she looks like a prude and now she's a slut and then you're horny because she took off her glasses and let her hair down.
Joking.
Chainbying.
Chains.
Did it work?
Oh, they want to be Korean e-girls.
They actually exist.
Oh, is that what it is?
They want to be like Korean BTS boys.
Like pretty boys.
Dude, I've been rocking that hair before the K-pop thing.
This thing.
Yeah, they're appropriating my hair, kind of.
Well, maybe you're just a fucking dress like a suicide.
Okay, anyway, that's enough.
I'm going to puke.
Let's just go back to Prez for a sec.
I want to see him ball.
Boy.
Your culture sucks, young people.
Your culture sucks, and it's mathematical.
Like, have you heard...
When I was a kid, my best friend Steve Durant had a dirt bike, and he got into such a bad accident.
A twig went in his arm and came out of his arm.
It traveled up his arm and then popped out here.
It's not a joke.
We were like 15 when that happened.
Do people, I guess in Texas, kids still ride dirt bikes and shit.
Begging them for help.
Those are the two girls we just saw.
If anybody could help me right now, it is Charlie Milio's family.
Oh, they're fucking committing suicide.
It's like 9-11 all over again.
Tears jumping from the building.
Humility in the world.
I grovel to them and I pray that they find kindness in their hearts.
How old is he?
Look, I did a show with him 15 years ago when he was an adult.
And you know what bugs me about him is he has all these kids he's adopted?
What?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
But he's always on some big brother reality show where he's away for three weeks.
And you're like, are they just fashion accessories?
Where are they when you're at your stupid shows, you fucking pig?
He was born in 78.
42.
So you're looking at a 42-year-old man crying and groveling beneath two teenage girls who do silly dances.
Because he wants to do silly dances where he's too horny.
To please help me.
I don't even know if they've seen.
They may not even check their message from me.
Charlie.
How many does this have?
Wow.
Only 121,000.
Hmm.
That's not a lot.
No, it's.
He doesn't even have half a million subs, subscribers.
Well, he's probably, yeah, I don't know.
Maybe this is his second.
I thought he was super famous.
He's the most followed person on TikTok.
Yeah, we know.
Jump ahead.
I'm getting bored of him.
He still decided that it was nudity, even though it was a shirtless man.
Well, you do have tits.
I'm...
I'm just so...
Looks like the guy who plays Hellboy there, too.
He looks like the manliest face ever, but he sounds like a girl.
Like, that's a really dudely face.
Yeah, the bone structure is kind of like Ron Perlman.
Yeah.
Is he going to cry again?
No, please get on the phone with me.
Please, I love TikTok.
Maybe I'm also being punished because I've been critical vocally about TikTok practices.
I'm sorry.
I will shut up.
I will keep any criticisms about TikTok private.
Gross, gross, gross.
That's enough.
I discovered a fun Twitter account, 13.
Dudes who are down bad.
Guys, the second she shows any doubt in this relationship, the second she kisses another guy or cancels a date, stop talking to her.
The only hope you have of ever getting her back is if you just went sh.
And then she might call you in two months when she's horny and you might fuck her if you want.
But any kind of groveling or, hey, what happened to us?
I remember listening to mixed tapes that exes would make for the girl I was banging.
And we would sit there, we would put it in, and it would be like, never talking to you again.
I'm never talking to you.
And we would just laugh at him.
We would sit there laughing at the poor sap who made that tape.
Don't make her a tape.
You can make her a tape when you're courting her.
By all means.
But you never give more than you get.
If she texts you twice, text her once.
But don't say, hey, want to come over?
Anyway, this is a compilation of guys bombing.
Hey, Ken, I noticed we had bio 210 together, so I was wondering if you knew what the reading was.
Okay, boys, that hot girl from my bio lecture slid into my DMs.
What do I do?
I don't think that was meant for me.
I'm just going to ask someone else.
Oh.
I don't get that.
He took a screenshot of what she said and sent it to what he thinks is one of his boys.
And then he sent it to her.
Shit.
Yeah.
And he's like, all right, it's going to go.
Selection drop class.
Ooh.
Wow.
Yeah, that's harsh.
What else do you got?
Delivered 14 weeks ago.
For Snapchat?
New chat three minutes ago.
Do you have the math homework?
Okay, these are...
I should have maybe screened.
Keep going.
All this talking made me realize something.
I'm sick of being friends.
Oh my God, I'm actually so glad you said that.
I've liked you for the longest time.
No, I'm like, I'm sick of being friends.
Oh, sorry.
It's okay.
That's rough.
Hey, you know, hey, want to hang out?
Hey, no.
Hi, hey, hey.
This is the one I saw that made me put this in the notes.
Hi, hey, hey, what's up?
Hey, hey.
Hi, hey, beautiful.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, sorry, LOL.
Oh, shit.
See, this is why we started the Proud Boys.
It was to try to prevent shit like this.
So she opened the thing and does not respond.
And then your chat is pending until Blank adds you as a friend.
Bad pic.
You should have sent an e-boy pic.
I miss you.
I miss you too.
Oh, sorry.
That was part of a jinking game.
I am sorry.
That's funny.
Yeah, I don't need the pictures.
I get it.
Oh, yo, you so icy.
I'm a glacier boy.
Makes sense.
Glaciers are the furthest thing from being hot.
I have to go.
Okay, last one.
Hey, would you want to grab food tomorrow?
I don't know if I can.
Where would we even go?
Not sure.
I was thinking about grabbing Chinese food at around six.
I'm busy at six, and I don't really like Chinese food.
I'm sorry.
Maybe another time.
Okay, no worries.
Oof, Panda Express.
Oh, my God.
Did you see that?
She loves Chinese food.
Oh, fun stuff.
That's good.
Okay, let's get serious now.
I saw this interview with the guy who did a documentary I'd never heard of.
This is actually my friend died, Paul, and I got in touch with his brother when we were setting up for the funeral.
We did a Zoom funeral, which sucks.
This was months ago, by the way.
I don't need your crocodile tears.
And he'd been smoking a pack a day since we were teenagers.
This is the youth show.
Youth culture show.
And him and his brother and I are talking now.
And maybe it helps because I was so close with his brother when we were in high school that he's like talking to his dead brother.
Anyway, he's like 40.
And he sent me this thing.
So it's about a documentary called La Causa.
I think it's on Amazon Prime.
But if you watch this 20-minute interview, it's pretty much everything is there.
I watched it with my daughter and she goes, I don't need to see the movie now.
I feel like I've seen it.
But several Venezuelan prisons, I thought it was like, I'd heard rumors of one.
Several Venezuelan prisons are now so dangerous that cops can't go in there because the guys have their own guns.
And so all they do is guard the perimeter and shoot people who leave.
That's all they can do.
And Venezuela is such a shithole that the prisons are better than the streets.
So this guy's been filming for eight years and he breaks down the whole structure.
There's like different sects.
There's the church.
There's the thugs.
They have parties.
The inmates have overtaken many prisons in Venezuela.
They're armed with heavy weapons and grenades.
They'll be used to fight the cops.
Those are my orders.
They had to comply or they'd die too.
The prisons are governed by criminal gangs led by a pran or kingpin who strictly enforces the thug code by which all prisoners must abide or they will be shot in various body parts.
It's too dangerous for Venezuelan troops to enter, so they patrol the perimeter and train their rifles on any inmate who tries to leave.
If guards ever go inside, we can only go.
Those are the rules.
They have to respect our space or else.
The prisoners have formed functional, independent societies with open-air bazaars offering everything from Coca-Cola to cocaine.
Several days a week.
So you just leave your Coke out.
It's like two bucks each.
They welcome their girlfriends, wives, children, and extended families for visits, birthday parties, and even festivals.
La Causa, a new documentary from 29-year-old filmmaker Andreet's Figuerado Thompson, is a raw look at life inside what at the time of filming was the country's largest prison.
The film explores the structure of its self-organized society, where detectors and social radicals were treated harshly.
Monkeys and LGBT inmates were cast out and forced to live on the roof of a building.
Yeah, gays are on the roof.
At least they're not getting thrown from the roofs.
They're not coming out, they're coming there.
You must sit around in that jail and look up and see gays fucking on the roof.
Right, yeah, that's kind of weird.
So I haven't watched the documentary yet, but I couldn't figure out what they do with their sewage.
They say the evangelicals handle it.
They wear suits and they carry Bibles.
But I don't know.
The year after Figueroa Thompson began production on La Causa, Chavez declared his stepfather an enemy of the state, forcing his family to flee to the U.S. But he continued filming on return trips to Venezuela over the following eight years.
Senior year in high school was the first time I entered a prison.
The experience was always at gavinmcinnis.win, and you can enjoy that there.
Maybe just watch the documentary instead of watching the interview.
Depends what you have time for.
All right.
Do we have a Trump bumper?
A Trumper?
I don't think we have a Trump bumper.
That's why we got fired.
Use a great Trump bumper.
We're sticking with the entertainment news.
The guy Chris Pratt plays in Guardians of the Galaxy, of course you would know his name because you're two years old.
I don't know that name.
Star Lord or something?
I've never seen that movie.
Oh, is it too mature for you?
That one doesn't look interesting to me for some reason.
I heard it was great.
Yeah.
It's no toy story.
No, it's not.
So Chris Pratt has been vocal about...
What are you doing, by the way?
Ordering the bumpers.
We have new bumpers.
We have the F you Dad one, and then we have gay one.
Okay.
So just in case those come up.
Yeah, I would focus on what we're doing right now, actually.
Chris Pratt.
So that would be 1.5.
Waiting on a number.
Star-Lord is a polyamorous bisexual.
See, this is what goes on when you say, I don't hate Trump.
Not necessarily that you support Trump, but they're going to come after Matthew McConaughey.
The reason I'm banned is because I make Trump look cool and fun.
And Chris Pratt, all he did was say, I don't really like people shitting on Christians.
And I'm kind of proud of this country, and we need more jobs.
And, you know, basic blue-collar Christian values, you know, American values.
And to punish him, Marvel has made his character into a polyamorous bisexual.
Also in the punishing news, Lil Wayne is headed to prison.
I think Kanye got death threats.
I think that's why he pulled back a little bit on the Trump stuff.
But Lil Wayne is a felon.
He's not allowed to have guns, and he probably has guns, and he got ratted on.
There was probably a financial incentive set up by the DNC.
I just made up this theory right now, but I feel pretty good about it.
Click on the link.
Rapper Lil Wayne pleaded guilty on Friday in Miami Federal Court to illegally carrying a loaded handgun while traveling to Florida on a private plane.
Pretty stupid to do, dude.
He had the gun in his bag after securing a search warrant.
Officers looked in the bag containing Wayne's personality and found a gold plated Remington 1911.45-caliber handgun loaded with six rounds of ammunition.
He told investigators the handgun was a father's day gift according to a search warrant, blah, blah, blah.
So you'll notice a pattern here, folks.
When someone influential says something good about Trump, you'll notice they get arrested, they get their character fagified because we live in clown world where Trump derangement syndrome abounds.
For example, the president-elect17 has no problem putting up pictures of his dogs eating the president like some sort of voodoo ritual.
What's going on?
I don't follow that, so let me see.
We've had him a million times.
Dog.
All right, we're having a bit of trouble here with today's show.
Are you not logged into...
Why don't you just be logged into my account?
And what did you look up in Google just out of curiosity?
Biden dog Trump Chew Toy.
I think you could just do Biden Dog Trump and not be in Google images, but be in news.
This is Snoops.
Mostly false.
The photographs were authentic and showed his dogs playing with a Trump Chew Toy, but it was the president-elect's granddaughter who posted them and later deleted them.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's real false.
Also in the Trump news, is Trump pardoning WikiLeaks?
We don't know.
That was 1-8, obviously.
Is Trump pardoning Julian Assange?
It's funny because I'm reading this on Newsweek, which is radical alt-left garbage, but they hate Trump so much that they're searching for evidence that Trump's going to pardon him, which I'm also looking for.
So I like that we have you attack dogs going there looking for dirt because your dirt is my treasure.
So keep looking for those truffles, you pig.
However, it turned out not to be true.
The White House hasn't issued a statement, but some use it as a pattern, an opportunity to discuss the possibility.
I know Cassandra Fairbanks is going nuts on it.
I saw someone last night.
Proud Boys chats are the worst places to get news.
They show you shit that's like three years old and go, did anyone see this?
So they said that Julian Assange was dropping everything last night.
And then they put up a link.
But WikiLeaks has already dropped everything.
That's why he's in trouble.
So we'll see what happens with that.
That could be exciting.
We have actually have footage of China, how they deal with our information.
19.
That's China and America.
That's our relationship in a nutshell.
Well, that kind of brings us to Election Gate, doesn't it?
Yes.
So, look, this is not Tucker Carlson.
I'm totally confused by the news.
But let's see what the hell's going on here.
What is going on with these electoral colleges?
So first I hear that Georgia, Pennsylvania, Nevada, the electoral colleges went for Trump.
That's 2-2.
Right?
That's this chick, Cassandra Cassiewa's heels.
She's some Russian chick.
I've followed a lot of her stuff.
It's pretty reliable.
They cast their electoral college votes for Trump and Vice President Pence.
These contested states now have two sets of electors.
All right, that sounds good.
But then I see the fact checkers say, no, it's not true.
Now, Lead Stories is run by a CNN guy.
So we can't even believe the fact checkers.
But they say, no, it's not true.
Joe Biden got all of the Electoral College votes in those three states, a result of the Biden-Harris ticket winning the majority of the certified votes there.
Electors gathered at state capitals around the United States on Monday, December 14th, to cast their votes.
There were no faithless electors in the process, which means each elector voted along the lines of the state's popular vote.
Okay, roller coaster ride.
Now that sounds like it's bullshit.
But then you go to 2-4 and you see this strange thing.
They are going to be giving a press conference here very soon and making a major announcement.
We will hear from the GOP chairman as he makes his way over here.
People behind us right now setting up on the table some of the papers that they're going to talk about and some of the points they're going to make.
I assume this will be a very interesting day as people across the country cast their electoral votes for president of the United States and work in fear.
Mr. Chairman, as Secretary, I can report that six electors are present and we have no vacancies at this time to fill.
Thank you very much.
Voting for the President of the United States.
Electors, you will find in your packet six ballots.
The battery presidential elector, official ballot for President of the United States.
You should write in your choice for President of the United States, and then you should sign your name where indicated on the ballot.
Do that six times, and then we will turn those in to the secretary.
Okay, jump ahead.
Thank you very much, Mr. Kay.
Before we adjourn, I would like, it's only fitting, Jesse Loff, you sing the national anthem just before we leave.
All right, so whatever.
I sent you another one now.
Can you folks at home do the research?
I'm too lazy.
I'm too busy watching Perez-Hill.
No, it's in a second email.
It says electoral something.
And now what's this?
This also looks weird.
Let me see the title.
Michigan GOP attempts to enter the Electoral College and just put it up, dude.
Michigan GOP attempts to enter the Electoral College meeting and is blocked by the state police.
Huh?
What the fuck is going on?
Why would that cut off right there?
I don't know.
Well, we said yesterday was supposed to be a big day.
I can't tell if it was a big day or not.
I don't know what's going on.
Did they go pro-Trump?
Did they not go pro-Trump?
Were they real?
What's happening to me?
Ali says the shit really did hit the fan, and he says his prediction came true.
That's 2.5.
Okay.
So he said, going to be a wild next 48 hours.
That was December 14th, which was what, Sunday?
22 hours later, I think this tweet aged well.
What do you think?
Major internet sites went down.
Governor Hack.
Trump electors bar out.
Oh, that's true.
We forgot to mention that.
STS presser tomorrow at 1 p.m.
They delayed the presser.
Go because they had a White House thing.
You know, you're not going to believe what happened to me today.
I got punched in the chin.
He was going for my chest, and I guess I had my head up.
I got rattled in the chin.
I can't chew.
I thought he broke my jaw, but apparently you're not able to do this if your jaw is broken.
But guess what it did?
Besides intense pain right here, every time I clench, I got a weird thing up in my nose.
And then I started sneezing all day.
I've been blowing my nose and sneezing like I had a cold.
I don't have a cold.
And then I talked to this trainer chick because I did her podcast.
What's it called?
Not your podcast or something with Maria Markham.
I don't even know.
And I'll put it up on parlor when it comes out.
But she goes, yeah, those are all linked.
There's that TMD thing you get when you clench your teeth too much.
Usually people on Adderall or Coke get it.
And it links to your sinuses.
So something about smashing in the chin fucks up your sinuses.
Isn't that weird?
Anyway, that's why I'm getting all weird with my nose.
And I feel like I have a cold, but it's not.
I had a cold punched into my face.
What if I were to say, I want to be a toad?
Say frog.
You can't say toad.
I don't mean, I mean both you're not able to say it and also I don't permit you to say toad.
Three pop filters for him saying that.
On those t-shirts you made, we should have spelled it T-D-T.
Toad.
Toad.
Toad.
You take your tongue.
I feel like I'm a toad.
You put your tongue on the roof of your mouth like this.
It's curled inwards.
Toad.
Toad.
And then you flap it out.
Toad.
Toad.
Like a slingshot.
Toad.
I love the toad.
I feel like I'm a toad.
I love the guy.
I would love to go on a cruise with him and his lovely wife.
But I think he says one word funny, okay?
Leave me alone.
But go to Ali's Twitter.
Let's see what this press conference was.
Because he said a major announcement at one, and then they delayed it.
1 p.m.
Coalition Leaders will hold a press conference.
Okay, it's past one.
Is that it?
That's his most recent tweet?
Yeah, let's see his periscope.
Okay.
That might be something like crazy.
Problem with the periscope and all these live streams is it's like three hours you have to parse through.
True.
I mean, how many times have we been told that tomorrow's the day?
There's more shit going on with me and this site than has been going on with Trump.
That's not true.
What am I talking about?
You know what I mean?
When we say something big is happening, it's big.
What's going on?
What do we got?
Ali Scopes.
13 days ago, three months ago.
I mean, this is kind of all over the place.
I don't know.
It's not chronological?
No, this one's six days ago.
Well, Ryan, that's irrelevant.
We don't care about six days ago.
Oh, wait, 22 hours ago.
Okay, well, he didn't stream the press conference then.
Weird.
How many hours ago was that?
That was 22 hours ago.
Well, go back to his Twitter.
Sorry about this, folks.
We're experiencing technical difficulties.
And look at the thing that says that...
Go back to his Twitter.
Look at the thing that says we're going to live stream.
Right?
Yeah, that's got to have a...
Visit stopthesteel.us, you fucking retard.
No, not the picture.
Click the link that's in the tweet.
Okay, I was typing in the URL.com.us.
That's why you should click the link.
It's an hour ago.
Trump has not only been the absolutely illusion hoax.
So now we have Trump electors right here.
So now it is real.
What is this, Israel?
I'd like to thank everybody for coming and our streaming partners to stream to our state delegations.
My name is Ollie Alexander.
I am the director of Stop the Steal.
We are the protest movement that you see in all 50 states on Saturday at noon at the state capitals.
We've also been in seven contested states, which has now become six after we won North Carolina.
And we're responsible for bringing hundreds of thousands of Patriots, Trump supporters, to Washington, D.C. now twice.
And we will continue to do that to show that we are the majority.
In fact, I am joined by Ed Martin.
He is the president of Phil Shafley's Eagles Forum.
I am also joined by Alexander Bruschowitz, who is the CEO of X Strategies and one of the founding members of the Committee on the Programme.
I'm joined by three random, powerful conservatives.
Okay.
I guess tomorrow we'll have the full story on what's really going on.
I only have one Proud Boy story, maybe two, but we should play the bumper anyway.
Start fights, finish them.
Stand back and stand by.
I think I knew everyone in that video.
Amy Siskind wants Biden to investigate the group.
I went through her Twitter recently because Milo taught me a trick.
You go like from colon, the Twitter name, and then the subject, and they show you every time the person's talked about that subject.
So I put in Proud Boys, and it was just like racist, white nationalists, Nazi, Nazi, violent, domestic terrorism, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then I put in Antifa, and it was all like, they don't exist.
It's not a thing.
It's just an idea.
One picture was Antifa beating the shit out of someone.
And she wrote, you're not helping, Antifa.
That was it.
That's the problem with the entire left.
They have this myopic obsession with one side being bad and totally ignore the other side being bad.
I will build a great, great wall.
Well, you ran out of time, Don.
So show the one where she said we should be investigated.
When Biden appoints a new FBI director here, she should open an investigation of the Proud Boys and their activities and whether they should be classified as a domestic terrorism group.
This woman wanted to come to my house, by the way, and have a vigil after the synagogue shooting.
Thank you for that, my dear.
My family went to her house and told her that's not going to happen.
But I don't think that's that unlikely.
I think it's quite possible that Biden does investigate the group and I go to jail and members go to jail and if we get arrested at a meetup, the New York City meetups are done because they threw everyone in jail.
They made them illegal.
And for what?
Well, she also put up a tweet recently.
Check this one out.
Do we start burning down the suburbs now or wait until January 20th?
She lives in Mamaranak in a $2.7 million mansion that she got after she destroyed her husband's life, raked him over the coals during the divorce, and got everything.
Then she demolished the house and rebuilt it into a $2.7 million mansion.
It was a normal little, I don't know, $800,000 house, but she destroyed it and built anew with his money.
Wow.
And now she wants the whole country to get divorced.
She put up, remember that tweet we showed you where she talked about Jesus Land?
Let's divide North America in half.
We'll be Canada and they can have the South.
Jesus Land.
What a bitch.
Anyway, this is a funny story.
Oh yeah, sorry, I didn't talk about the tweet.
She said, I want to burn the suburbs down.
Like, that's kind of perfect.
That's t-shirt levels.
I want to burn the suburbs down.
You're in the suburbs, my dear.
You want to burn your house down, and that's what they want to do.
The radical left wants to destroy their own country.
No borders, no wall, no USA at all.
Burn the suburbs down.
Start with your own house.
Tax the rich.
You are the rich.
Donate money to the government.
Go ahead.
There's an option for that.
And it's not her money.
It's her husband's money that she basically stole, as far as I'm concerned.
If you're a lesbian, you get pregnant, and then you dump your husband and take all his money.
Is that not theft?
Burn down the suburbs.
Please start with your own house, and please be inside.
Okay, this story is my favorite.
It's my only real story for this Browd Boy segment.
But you may have remembered some of the guys who are wearing kilts on Saturday, these black and yellow kilts.
So this LGBTQ company are pissed.
Look at this guy.
Look at his look.
Look at his weird tattoos, too.
Let me see his arm.
What the fuck have you done?
It disgusted me.
Here, let me see what he's saying.
Disgusted to see members of Proud Boys, a fascist terrorist organization wearing our products.
The Virginia-based band tweeted.
They've since donated money to the, what is it called again?
The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People.
So they donated $1,000 to the NAACP.
Okay, good.
So I've realized now, zoom out a bit, Ryan.
We're way too close on it.
I want to see the.
This is how we can do fundraising now for charities.
It's like Al Sharpton, the shakedown, right?
He says, I'm going to call you racist unless you donate to my ACT UP organization or whatever the hell it's called.
We can say, we're going to wear your clothes unless you donate money to then AACP or other nonprofits.
So it works out great.
It's sort of like when they tried to steal the hashtag and said, proud boys are gays.
We're like, okay, fine.
Let's fag it up.
Just to spite you, I'm going to donate some money to the charity.
Thank you.
That's mighty Christian of you.
Okay, we have one last thing, a fun surprise for you.
I saw this that the Grinch is a musical now, and it was on normal TV, and it's very, very cringe.
Let's have a look at it now, shall we?
Like you, I hate musicals.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show is good.
It's the only one that's ever been tolerable.
It's not like it's the best one and the others are shitty.
It's good and everything else is fucking garbage and it makes sense.
How are you going to write a bunch of songs that all go with your story and work?
Like, it's obviously not going to happen.
You're not going to have a hit record that relates a story at the same time.
So I hate that.
I hate how awkward it is.
I hate the lack of exposition.
You know, when I'm watching a story, I want this, oh, this guy's over here.
And even when there's like scene setting stuff, like he's walking through the prairies, you get the idea that like this guy is a cowboy and he lives alone and blah.
And you get that.
You know, there's a lot of information in every story, except fucking musicals, because they're singing what they're saying.
And as my dad said about poems, why wouldn't you just say that is a thing?
Why would you meander around back and forth to get to the point?
Just tell me that's a thing.
Anyway, that's one thing.
On top of that is there's certain characters, they're usually for kids, they're exaggerated, and they're okay in books.
They're even okay in cartoons, and they're okay in some over-the-top movies.
But when they're in a musical, I don't know, man.
It becomes like the Shrek musical, which I believe Ryan likes.
It makes my fucking skin crawl.
And this was just on NBC Prime Time, and it's even worse.
Check it out.
What did you say?
It's a wonder I didn't just run away.
Does he fuck her?
Has my hearing gone weird, or my head may be broken, but it seems to be a musician.
What's in his face that you may have?
Wait, stop.
Look at that.
They've made him kind of hot.
He's like an e-boy Grinch.
And his eyebrows are super long, but he's got these sexy sideburns.
Like, who's that comedian?
Who's the Boston guy with the fireman who swears all the time?
He's got a Dennis Leary kind of Grinch vibe.
Ugh.
Spoken.
I just meant that I'm feeling a lot less...
Lessless.
Isn't this kind of sexual?
When you anthropomorphize them, it becomes a sexual thing.
Ignore me, sir.
It's a sickness.
I hate Christmas, the whole frolicsome season.
And I'm sure you must have.
Have you noticed, by the way, when you're watching musicals and it's dialogue like this, you're like, good, keep going.
Please don't break into a song.
It's the same with gay porn.
If you ever watch a movie that's a movie, but it has gay porn in it and you're like, please don't fuck, please don't fuck.
No, no, no, no, no, no, he's unzipping his pants.
No.
Good reason.
I despise Christmas Eve and I loathe Christmas Day.
I poo-poo them in every possible way.
I abhor Christmas trees and I scorn every wreath.
And I hate all the who's down in whoville.
Has this been transcribed from the book, word for word?
Oh, look at his face.
I'm going to have nightmares now.
At home.
Look at you.
Look at you.
What is your job?
You're in musicals, dude.
You went to NYU.
You were in the Jersey Boys.
I looked him up before this because I thought I recognized him, but I don't.
Your job is to be in musicals?
I mean, I guess you're gay, and that's fun, but shit.
His poor father.
We're not here to enjoy ourselves.
The paint's drying in your face.
Gays are too sexual to be in plays.
Wait, is that it?
Show me another clip.
I'm deeply disturbed by this play.
I thank God I didn't see it.
Not that I watch TV.
Who watches TV?
Like, who sits down and says, oh, the Grinch musical is on?
Come sit down, kids.
We used to do that with Charlie Brown Christmas special.
I'm talking about tuning into NBC and watching a show, like a Law and Order show you don't DVR.
Does anyone do that anymore?
Ryan, there should be another YouTube that just comes up because it's related, right?
Isn't that how it works?
Just, I found about 10 when I, even when I was watching it, they were coming up.
I want to hear one of their songs.
What did he just do with his legs?
Go back.
What was that?
That weird Fonzarelli thing.
Oh, wait, I have to see it again.
I can't look away.
I don't know.
People who get fucked up the ass, they act weird.
Why do I want to keep watching it?
It's sort of like you ever go to the bathroom in a public place and it reeks.
And instead of like not breathing, you breathe more.
You're like, oh my God.
Oh, it fucking reeks.
And you just keep inhaling the disgustingness.
And you're like, why am I punishing myself?
I hate it.
All the whos don't ask me for the reason.
It could be the heart is so full of mirth.
It could be the problem goes back to my birth.
Maybe peace on earth and goodwill dismiss me.
This is really what the Grinch is like, right?
He's more cartoony.
He's not so sexual.
Let me be quite plain.
I wish it wasn't screaming.
Christmas Eve.
Christmas Eve.
It can be your head's not screwed.
Just right.
So high school.
How about the song?
Like, if you close your eyes and listen to the song, you'd go, what the fuck am I listening to?
That's what I hate about musicals.
They're only there to further the plot.
And the songs themselves don't stand up to any kind of musical analysis.
They're just singing words.
Oh, good.
It's over.
See, they had to hire a woman for affirmative action, and they made a whole weird sexual thing, but then he's gay.
Where's your friend?
Oh, what happened to you?
Whoa, that sucks.
Bring a plastic cup or a mug from home tonight.
Willie brought in homemade moonshine jungle rum from Puerto Rico.
Puerto Rico.
Have you guys ever had moonshine?
Yes.
You get fucking annihilated.
I'm not driving home on moonshine.
Bad idea, guys.
Bad idea.
You have a Shrek musical.
It was exactly as bad.
I think it's worse.
I think it's worse.
You're right.
Because it's a high school one?
Well, there's infinite ones, right?
Yes.
And they do a bad Scottish accent, and that face, when it's not a cartoon, annoying enough as a cartoon, but when it's in a play.
Oh, God.
Oh, my!
Any chance of this kid getting laid is decimated.
He's gay.
Oh.
So he probably did this one.
He's probably doing better.
And then the donkey's usually expert cringe.
Everyone likes parfaits.
When's the last time you asked someone, hey, let's go get some parfaits?
And they said, hell no, I don't like no puffs.
Parfaits are delicious.
Are they doing this?
If they're not gay?
No.
This is the cringiest player.
What are you watching right now?
Why are they doing that with the thief?
Because he's supposed to be Lard Farquad, a little tiny man.
Is there some child up his ass?
That's not right.
Okay, that's enough.
Yeah.
Alright, we're done all our hard work.
I think we're ready for the mailb.
Let me touch it.
Uh-oh.
You're not going to believe this.
My application is not responding.
So you're going to have to read the first letter.
Okay.
Falling down movie.
Somebody says.
Someone's going to tell me to check out the falling down movie.
Oh, I hope not.
Yeah, that's a good idea.
Hey, Gav and Duke Radinand.
I don't know if you remember the movie from the 90s Falling Down with Michael Douglas.
I thought this was a joke, but they are asking if you've seen it.
It's about a middle-aged white guy who goes on a rampage after getting fed up with life.
Wow.
Stresses and all the BS he deals with.
I feel like it's one of those examples that you talk about where both the left and the right see the same thing and have completely different interpretations.
We would look at it and say, understandable, everyone is shitting on this guy.
I'd probably do some of that.
Shut up, Brian.
Jesus Christ, dude.
I dressed like the character in Falling Down on Joe Rogan's podcast that had 5 million views.
I also dressed in that uniform, including the Samsonite briefcase I got on eBay, for several years.
I'm going to email him back.
248, here's a clip that you might want to see.
Are you completely hardy?
Look at this shit.
What is this doing in there?
Faggot shit.
No!
You want freedom, huh?
I guess that was a drop.
I've never seen that, so I don't want to spoil it for you.
Hey, Gavin, Rygai, USN vet from Los Angeles here, big fan of the show.
Check out this intro my husband created for y'all's Biden news segment.
Tell me what y'all think.
I would really like to see it played on the show, y'all.
Pretty good.
I like it.
A lot of fun.
Let me jump ahead here, Ryan.
This is from Daniel, 9.11 a.m.
A. Gavin and Ryanes.
I have been raising money for Max and John and have raised over $1,000.
I'll take my pat on the back.
Thank you.
And why raise money for anyone if you're not getting accolades?
I have $700 in Cash App and want to buy some doodles.
I daily one for me and one for my chapter.
When will they restock?
They're all sold out.
I also mailed a letter off to John just to let him know people haven't forgotten about them.
If they're not going to be restocked soon, I'll just donate directly.
I want to fuck you with my heels on.
So the new auction is up.
You can always go to censor.tv and click on doodle auction.
The bidding starts tomorrow.
And there's some stinkers in there, like my Danny Presti.
See, the ones I do here, I'm drunk.
So the drawing is not great.
But the ones I do at home are super fancy, like that guy getting hanged and the SPLC thing.
And then John really did a great job.
Go down to John's.
He's got Amy Corey Barrett.
He's got Ronald Reagan in a Prowboy shirt.
What are you doing, Ryan?
What is with you today?
Go to all of them and then jump to the John's.
Where's the all button?
Home?
Yeah, look at the Reagan one.
Damn.
His rhino that he had in the last auction sold for $700.
Pretty cool.
And he's got Sidney Powell with all these emojis around her.
He's getting really good at likenesses, too.
Like, the Sydney Powell really looks like Sidney Powell.
Oh, and just minor detail, the color ones that John does are 9x12, so they're a little bigger than your average Joe.
I had to buy special envelopes for those.
That's a okay.
So that answers your question.
Hey guys, I wanted to clue you in on one of my all-time favorite cops clip.
It starts at 30 seconds in when the guy shows up, this nigga's assholes naked in the middle of the street.
Wait, didn't we make that a drop?
Yes, we did.
Guys, can you watch the show, please?
Before you tell us about things?
This nigga's assholes!
That's a video drop of ours.
We don't show it very often, but still, I mean, come on.
What do you not watch part of the show?
Come on, do it.
Let's fire all politicians.
The Constitution needs a reset button.
Well, like Steve Bennon said, did you think they were going to give it up without a fight?
They sure didn't.
The only requirement to hold off is that you've never held political office before.
Anyway, suggestions, please.
Need a 10-second rewind button on the videos.
Yeah, I've heard a lot of people say that.
Fuck Ryan.
I employ eight people, and so many times I'm on myself now.
Fuck Ryan when shit gets fucked up.
By the way, it's never their fault.
I did not know Gavin was in Animal House.
Shot 12 times in 2017 after tracking down drug cartel.
Linda, we covered that on the show.
So we're almost at 100%.
I can't access this picture, so I'm going to go in the email and I'm going to hide all the information.
We never saw the lady, though.
Okay.
I mean, I figured that's what she looked like.
Yeah, we do.
She's Mexican.
Give or take.
Old.
Jennifer.
Hey, guys, could you please put these women in order from ugly to ugliest?
Oh, and guess what?
Tarana Burke's daughter is actually a smoke show.
What?
Hey, let's Google that.
She came out as a binary retard, though, so she's undeserving of love.
Now, look at the pic in the bottom right.
You can tell she's thinking, my, that's a big nose.
Have fun.
Want to make love to you like a pool boy.
Oh, my God.
What the hell?
Look at Toronto Burke's daughter.
What happened there?
I mean, the girl looks like she's like an 8, 7.5, and Toronto Burke's a 1.
So that means Toronto Burke's father must be a 16.
That's amazing.
I've never seen that before.
That's a first in my entire life.
Maybe she's adopted?
Yeah, that makes a lot more sense than a male 14.
All right, let's go through these, shall we?
Sandra Bernhardt in the top.
She is a six.
I believe the other one's called Sandra O, and she is a 5.2.
The super chin there on Bruce Willis's daughter, this might be an old picture of her because she's kind of filling it in, I saw recently.
But as far as that picture goes, she looks like a bad drawing.
So I'm going to go with the...
But she's pretty.
Like the very, the eyes and the nose and the mouth are pretty.
It's just where someone stuck them, like Mr. Potato Head.
So that's kind of a tough one.
I'm going to go with a 6.7.
Toronto Brooke is a 1.
Tori Spelling is a...
That's a pretty bad picture of her.
And she's had tons of plastic surgery because she had ugly parents.
I'm going to give her a...
What do you think, Rye Guy?
Maybe a 4?
Yeah, that feels about right.
4.
And then what's her name from Show Me the Money?
Renee Zellwiger.
Renee Zellwiger.
Wow, she looks bad without makeup.
Let's give her a...
I mean, this is her at her very worst, right?
5.8.
The chick from Roseanne, the hideous old haggard lesbian, is a 3.4.
What's her name, the bitch with the red hair?
What's her name again?
Kathy Griffith.
Kathy Griffith.
What's on her nose?
Oh, it's just like weird white shiny.
Shine.
She got the shine.
It's like some...
No, I don't think it's shine.
It's like some sort of powder.
Some poor makeup guy spent like three hours just trying to make something out of that.
And he failed.
And then Gollum from Lord of the Rings.
I mean, it's really unfortunate what God gave him.
Rachel Dretch.
Yeah.
She's really not.
And she's a good person.
She's funny.
She's funny.
I like Debbie Downer character.
That was amusing.
But let's be honest, folks.
A three.
So yeah, Tirana wins yet another award.
Tyrannosaurus Burke.
Okay.
Hey, Gavatron, what's up with Joe Biggs talking shit about you and then deletes the post?
He's done it so many times now.
First, he said you were a pussy because you don't have a criminal record.
Then recently he talked shit about you being Canadian and not American.
What the fuck is up with that?
So I sent that to Joe Biggs.
Oh.
He said, I never talk shit about Gavin.
I talk shit about Canadian Proud Boys who were talking shit about Enrique and I. Sorry, you're too retarded to understand that.
You thought since I said Canadians, you automatically used your simpleton brain and assumed I meant Gavin.
But guess what?
He isn't the only Canadian in existence.
You worthless twat.
Twat waffle.
Twat waffle.
And a happy, funny face emoji.
Okay, last one.
Don't sleep on this Budweiser collection.
Major drop of the year.
Vuy dope.
I guess you mean very?
Pure Dwip.
Oh, no, he's not pronouncing his R's.
Love you long time.
Oh my G-O-D.
Thank you.
I'm clicking the button shop now, literally.
Oh, fuck.
The hat's already sold out.
Look at how awesome that hat is.
It's gorgeous.
It's beautiful.
I've never seen a hat like that.
Oh.
Boy, I would have been sad if I didn't already have a Budweiser bag.
It's sold out.
Yeah.
Well, no good.
That means it makes your bag even more valuable and necessary for that guy to have sent it in.
That's a lot of fucking money for sweatpants, though.
Jeez, I don't know if I can do that.
He aches.
I got to get that sweatshirt, though.
It's kind of basic.
I feel like you have a better sweat.
Don't you have a Budweiser sweatshirt?
I have a Budweiser Christmas sweater.
Yeah, I feel like that would be better.
Yeah, $152 for sweatpants.
I don't know if I can resist.
I think I have to.
Haven't you spent enough money on Budweiser itself anyway?
They should just give this to you.
Yeah.
I've earned those with my coupon.
They should be honored.
I should save.
They should have a thing.
Marborough Miles, but with Budweiser?
Yeah, they should have a little, you save the tabs.
Remember, they would do that with cigarettes.
You'd save all your Camel Light cigarettes and you'd get like a hat.
All right, that's enough of that.
I have two final videos for you today.
I just can't wait.
So let's look at them.
2-6, just a brief little palette cleanser.
This woman is one of the best twerkers I've ever seen in my life.
I hope there's not kids at this thing.
Chicago Hood Media, I highly recommend.
Look at that shape.
It's not just going up and down, it's going in circles.
It's like she has really good traction.
Look at her go.
Really talented.
I've already sauced this out.
Oh, you knew it was coming?
Yes.
Oh, no, I did not.
I thought it was a guy.
No, it's not a guy.
It's about a boy.
No, it's not about a boy.
It's fucking stubby legs.
But I felt like that wasn't enough for the final video.
So this is a brawl at the 7-Eleven where you're just like, just punch them both in the face, please.
Can we bring back face punching?
The left says they want to punch a Nazi, so let's open the door to punches then.
Look at her.
She's just a junkie.
She's wrecking everything, probably because they wouldn't give her stuff for free.
And then he's, that's a long way to get around the counter.
He hits her with her handbag.
You're stupid.
And then the boyfriend is like, I don't do anything.
And look, she comes back in for more.
You also want to make it clear to people that you don't take shit.
Right?
Like, hey, let's rob that store.
I don't know, man.
Those guys beat Daryl with a club when he came in once.
He's on heroin.
Shut up.
You fucking donkey.
Kick her in the head.
She's literally a donkey.
Now he's afraid of it.
He's like, fucking talking donkey.
Magic donkey lady.
Maybe he thinks she's a zebra because of the junket.
That is a zebra lady.
Keeps going.
This is why I put this here.
Oh, you fucking bitch.
He's never been hit by a woman before.
In his culture, that's just unfathomable.
Get out!
Oh my god.
You're quite a team, you two.
Makes Sid and Nancy look like Mike Pence and his wife.
I don't know.
Peter Boyle works at a gas station now.
The hair.
Very Peter Boyle.
It's on video.
It's on video.
Get the fuck.
Like, he wants to break her arm.
He's so mad.
Oh, he was taking stuff from her.
Was that stuff that she was stealing?
Oh, my God.
Women should not be allowed to drink or do drugs.
I mean, I wouldn't have got very late in my life, but at least we wouldn't have this.
Albanian.
Get the fuck.
Get going, buddy.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
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