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Dec. 14, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:41:54

S03E51 - MILO [2020-12-14 - S03E51 - MILO]

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	Hello, folks.
	Welcome to Get Off.
	Huge, huge mistake.
	I should have waited, I guess, longer.
	That was a song written by Shane McGowan, Kirsty McCall.
	She didn't write it, she just sang in it, but he always called it her song.
	She died, of course, when a speedboat ran over her head and sliced up her chest.
	The reason we chose that song, by the way, is because it's banned.
	Because in the middle of the song, she goes, you scum mag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot.
	Oh, can't say faggot.
	And as Nick Cave pointed out in his newsletter, which I highly recommend you get on, these are not heroes.
	They're drunken miscreants.
	The first line is, it's Christmas Eve, babe, in the drunk tank.
	They're drunks.
	They're losers.
	Yes, they swear.
	So they've just ruined yet another cool thing with their politically correct bullshit.
	In the news today, some losers did death by cop.
	He went to shoot up a church and they shot him.
	I couldn't care less.
	Today's book is Please Kill Me, an oral history of punk.
	Legs McNeil thinks he wrote this.
	All he did was record tons of conversations and put them in chronological order.
	But it is a fascinating look at the history of punk.
	And we have a surprise for you today.
	We have a very special guest here in the studio.
	His name is Milo Giannopoulos.
	Hello.
	Thank you for having me, love.
	Thanks for being here.
	Should I pretend you're in the White House?
	Like Enrique was?
	I don't.
	Like Enrique said, why do they do this?
	Why do they do this?
	Oh, special invitation to an undisclosed location.
	Making out like he'd been invited to something fancy.
	And then the inevitable slapdown from the White House.
	He was there on a tourist fucking group.
	Wandering around.
	He takes a picture outside the executive wing like he was invited to meet Trump.
	Why do you do this?
	Because for clout!
	They took the bait and they ran with it.
	And Daily Beast, Twitter, all of these lunatics went nuts, assuming that.
	Is that what he meant when he was doing it, though?
	I don't know.
	No, no, I think he was.
	I don't know.
	So we'll get to that.
	We've got a lot of proud boys.
	A lot of children out of wedlock, that one.
	So I've heard.
	At least two.
	We don't sh punch right here on this show.
	Sorry, sorry.
	That's for the weekends.
	So I've made that clear.
	That Fairy Tale of New York is banned.
	I thought I'd have a lot more to say about you.
	Are you okay today?
	Because you've been a bit...
	I mean, the booster seems to have rattled you, if you don't mind.
	I've been rattled since yesterday.
	I mean, I've been in my pants this morning.
	I had to throw my underwear out in the garbage.
	We had a nice evening last night.
	We had a lovely evening.
	You drank way too much.
	We watched WithNail.
	You drank a bottle and a half of makers.
	And this morning, you just haven't seemed yourself.
	We went to a diner for breakfast, and I'm sorry to report, ladies and gentlemen, that Gavin had a little whoopsie daisy.
	I had a fart, and then I felt this sort of uncomfortable warmth on my buttocks.
	It went right out.
	And then you get in the bathroom, you pull down your pants, and you see that fluorescent orange, yellow, green bile.
	What?
	Oh, yeah.
	It's not really poo.
	What that?
	It's bile.
	Bile from your bottom.
	Yeah.
	How did it get there?
	Well, I guess there's so much going on in my digestive system and it ran out of poo.
	So it just says, does anyone have anything?
	Just empty the stomach.
	And then someone goes, I have stomach acid.
	Fine, let's take it.
	So what is it that you're...
	I mean, this is not normal, even for people with your Scottish constitution.
	You're only supposed to be drinking...
	You said you're only supposed to eat potatoes and maybe, you know, a little bit of scotch.
	But what is it about you particularly that gives you these extraordinary anal incidents?
	I'm glad you asked.
	There's three factors here.
	One, I'm Scottish, and we're not meant to have anything.
	I mean, for thousands of years, all we had was a root, maybe a bit of goat eye, and a potato.
	Potatoes even came kind of late.
	Secondly, my family, on my dad's side, has a history of stomach ulcers and all kinds of stomach problems.
	So there's that.
	And then third, I'm an alcoholic.
	Okay, but all Scots are alcoholics.
	And they may indeed have eaten lots of potatoes, but this is also the home of whiskey.
	Have you ever roomed with a Scot?
	Listen to him when he goes in the bathroom.
	Heavens, no.
	It'll sound like someone's being tortured in there.
	And you'll say, don't tell them!
	Don't give up the ghost!
	Because you'll just hear, oh, fucking hell.
	This may be why when we got to the studio and recorded a little spot, which you'll see on the site tomorrow, related to the Stripe debacle, you got a little bit upset.
	You got a bit upset because when we stood in front of the green screen here in the studio, I realized that there was a little bit of a twins kind of DeVito Schwarzenegger thing going on.
	I wasn't remotely upset.
	So we got you a booster, and I took my shoes off.
	First of all, folks at home, I'd like to make something clear.
	Milo is so gigantic that he could work for Ripleys.
	No, but I'm not.
	You could be in a circus.
	Believe it or not.
	I'm literally the normal height for a male.
	I'm 6'1 - 3 quarters, which is the exact perfect height for a man.
	It seems very large to me.
	Unimprovable height for a man.
	He's got this big, imposing Milo-ness every time he walks into a diner.
	You, on the other hand, 5'9.
	I am not 5'9.
	And with quite a weak jaw, if you don't mind me saying that.
	That's a fact.
	I have no jaw, but no chin.
	But you have triumphed against these natural shit for the height thing.
	I just stood on a toolbox.
	I think I'm going to start getting you lifts up.
	I'm 10 and a half, folks, for the record.
	And I'm going to film this with a measuring tape.
	I am Nicole Kidman, and he is Tom Cruise.
	And I'm going to start putting him in lifts so that we can appear in public.
	But you admit it, too.
	Without the toolbox, it's jarring.
	It is jarring, because you are very small.
	I'm not small.
	Very small.
	Don't listen to that.
	I think of you as a large personality, you know, as a big personage.
	I am.
	I'm also big in Scotland.
	Like height-wise.
	If I walk around Scotland, I'm a child.
	No, you're not.
	You're not.
	You're small everywhere because you are a small man.
	Nope.
	And I'm a fucking basketball player in China.
	Ryan is a basketball player in China.
	Oh, speaking of Ryan, something interesting happened at breakfast this morning.
	We were in a diner on 32nd Street.
	And so I was talking about a fireman buddy of mine who's been through a divorce, cut his salary in half.
	He's also doing most of this kids stuff.
	He's paying all those bills.
	So I would say, despite him making probably 80, 90K a year, he actually is making more like 20 after his bills.
	So he's so broke that when we go to McDonald's, he only gets a coffee because it's all he can afford.
	And I was saying, it's cheaper to keep her, dude.
	Just have a loveless marriage.
	You know, sleep in a different room.
	But don't rub it in her face.
	That's what Milo says.
	He says, you know, don't rub it in her face.
	She's not horny anyway at that age.
	She's menopaused.
	You know, just not cut out the face rubbing.
	And guess what Ryan says?
	He goes, oh, that's a thing, right?
	They like their faces being rubbed.
	I don't know.
	What I want to know is how somebody who can be very quick-witted and funny, who has the sort of memory and the insight and the recall to be able to do very persuasive and amusing impressions, not just imitations, but impressions, which takes a bit of comedic ability, is at the same time such a fucking imbecile.
	Well, I think he's a very good person.
	I mean, literally a reef Japanese and half Puerto Rican.
	So the Puerto Rican is asserting itself?
	I guess so.
	I think the Puerto Rican is the one who asked that question.
	I can't see a Japanese guy going, oh, so they like that, the fist rubbing?
	And then he goes, I like it.
	I like my face rubbed.
	Yes.
	We're talking about infidelity and divorce and firemen and unions and settlements.
	And he's like, I like my face rubbed.
	He talks like if a dog could talk.
	It's like, you said if a blind person was sitting next to us in the next cubicle, they would be asking if he's okay and thanking the Lord that they had what they had instead of whatever the fuck he has.
	They would also go, oh, usually people with Down syndrome, their tongues are sort of bigger, and they don't enunciate that well.
	This gentleman is enunciating perfectly.
	He's not asking for hugs and his voice seems normal.
	And you know what would be ironic?
	He'd want to feel Ryan's face to see what he looks like.
	And then Ryan would go, that feels nice.
	Because I like face rubbing.
	He likes his face being rubbed.
	And by the way, who likes their face being rubbed?
	Nobody.
	Nobody.
	Get off.
	You might want somebody to grab your cheek, you know, or the back of your head if you're a woman, but nobody likes their face being rubbed.
	Even Mendez could be in lingerie with thigh-high, kinky boots.
	And if she touched my face, I'd go, all right, all right.
	Get off here.
	We do have some other big news we've got to get to.
	And first of all, let me compliment you on this beautiful history of the United States.
	If you haven't seen this before, Gavin has hand-drawn a very gorgeous, beautiful, hand-made history of the United States.
	And it contains all of the major events in United States history, and then a few little treats closer to our own time.
	BLM, Proud Boys, Vice, Roger Stone, going all the way back to Ben Franklin, George Washington.
	It is lovely.
	It's lovely color-coded.
	It's got wars in red.
	It's got all kinds of things.
	It's got gay and interracial marriage kind of written in a slightly angrier hand.
	You can see I pushed down with the pen.
	Yeah, a slightly heavier weight on those two.
	I think I gave it away when I wrote fucking.
	Someone's like, fucking interracial marriage literally.
	Now that I look again, it doesn't say gay marriage.
	It just says fuck fags.
	Fag day.
	Fag day.
	There's just one problem with this beautiful item.
	Now I understand you've had 200 of these printed.
	And signed.
	And signed, and they're going to go out to...
	Well, you'll find out tomorrow who they'll go out to, I guess.
	Hand numbered and signed by Gavin.
	There's just one problem.
	Gavin, how do you spell declaration?
	I like my face rubbed.
	How do you spell declaration, Gavin?
	There's many different ways to spell it.
	The Canadian spelling is E-R.
	Is it?
	Is it?
	Because it's like declaration, fuck.
	Right, well, ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid the Canadian spelling edition is the one that was printed in the month of the year.
	The Canadian history of the United States of America.
	I see.
	That does explain things.
	The US of A. I also note that you originally misspelt Barack and had to correct that to a K. I think you, Barack, a C-H at the end.
	I keep it an ugly K. No, no, because it's much darker and I can see the original downstroke of the.
	I maybe made it.
	You can't lie to me.
	You can't lie to me.
	Well, you've lied twice so far.
	You've also lied about being upset about the booster.
	Not remotely upset about being a fan of the future.
	What else have we got?
	Ironically, you managed to spell prohibition.
	Let's see.
	No, everything else looks okay.
	There's sad little skull faces for the number of people who have died in unnecessary foreign conflict.
	What the fuck was World War I?
	I don't understand World War I. What's that black adder line that happened when someone shot an ostrich?
	Yeah, some guy with a big mustache got shot by Duran Duran.
	Okay, Bismarck, let's send him to jail.
	Murder's illegal.
	No need to kill everyone in the world.
	Well, I think, despite the little whoopsies here and there, that the, let's call them the esoteric spellings of Gavin's History of the United States only serve to make this item more authentically censored.tv.
	What are you looking at?
	What is that on your glasses?
	This?
	What's that?
	What is that?
	Give it to me.
	It's a chip that helps me find them.
	GPS, and it also makes an alarm.
	Are you serious?
	Yes?
	I have the same thing on my computer, my wallet, my keys.
	It was either that or stopped drinking, because I kept losing everything.
	Are you serious?
	You have a microchip on your glasses.
	I have a microchip On my everything.
	Is that why you have this style of spectacles?
	Because any other style of spectacles, you'd see this enormous.
	You know what it looks like?
	Do you know what it looks like?
	It looks like a security tag.
	It looks like you ran out of the store with it.
	It's not a security tag.
	It's a life alert.
	But it was a good explanation you stitched together on the fly.
	Congratulations.
	Can you make it do the sound?
	Yeah, let me get the app.
	That's absolutely amazing.
	Imagine it starts going, life alert.
	Life alert.
	I'm so happy to know Gavin at this particular stage in his life because I'm getting a front row seat to a man's disintegration.
	You're just falling apart, aren't you?
	Well, yeah, it's called orbit.
	Well, do it.
	Do the sound.
	Okay.
	Otherwise, I'm just going to think you stole them.
	Ring orbit glasses, right?
	Ring orbit glasses.
	It seems to be trying to find them.
	Well, it's got a crack in it from...
	It's got a huge crack in it.
	It's supposed to be orbit when the batteries are dying.
	I think it might be.
	So this blob that you put on your glasses to find them is out of batteries.
	Maybe.
	It doesn't seem to be.
	Oh, wait.
	Has it found me yet?
	No.
	It's got...
	So they're dead.
	Well, it seems to be loading.
	Let's let it load.
	I can't read without my glasses.
	It's absolutely amazing.
	Orbit glasses.
	Last seen 84 days and 23 hours ago.
	So you haven't charged it for three months?
	I think that's the issue, yeah.
	And you ask about different glasses.
	I have other glasses, but they don't have that on them because I lost them.
	So you've lost them, yeah.
	But the ones that do have it on, you haven't charged it.
	You have no idea how many times you haven't charged for three months.
	How exhausted your wife looks when you go, have you seen my glasses for the 300,000th time?
	No, I have some.
	I just buy like 20 pairs so that I can lose one a month.
	And towards the end of the year, I then have to start asking where my glasses are.
	$200.
	Yes, I know.
	It's very expensive.
	Another thing I wanted to ask you about.
	It's okay.
	We've moved past that.
	I'm worried now.
	I wanted to ask you about Target.
	Fuck, I think I lost the charger for this.
	The charger should come with an orbit on it.
	Fuck.
	Shit.
	How do you, like, get through life?
	I mean, because you look very presentable here.
	I'm looking at you.
	And you look well presented.
	Your hair's been combed.
	You know, your suit and tie are pressed and fresh.
	And tailored.
	And tailored.
	How is it that you can look like this?
	And yet your life is in the state it's in?
	Alcohol.
	I just numb the pain and it makes me feel like everything is normal because I have no anxiety.
	Also, the Scots were under siege from the English for 700 years.
	So the ones that don't enjoy conflict or mayhem are extinct.
	I'm genetically predisposed to be in a state of peril.
	Is your...
	So I've noticed that often when you're asked questions about yourself, you will refer to your Scottish heritage.
	Yes.
	Everything is culturally and genetic.
	And I think that's a reasonable way to, a reasonable and an interesting, delightful way to answer the question.
	We are 95% nature, 5% nurture.
	Probably true.
	That 5% is if you get raped as a kid, you might turn out gay.
	Other than that, whatever.
	Does this explain the toilet paper in your home?
	Because I've really, really outside of public schools have I experienced a level of scratchiness and tearing.
	And you know, you get stuff on your fingers with toilet paper like that.
	Ryan has nicer toilet paper than that.
	Ryan has that lovely three-ply ridged charmin.
	Yes.
	Because he cares about his bottom.
	I believe it's cottonill.
	Yeah, we should.
	He's in cotton mill.
	That's all.
	On the way to pick up.
	We picked up...
	Milo stayed at my house last night.
	We recorded ourselves watching with Nailani, which we'll show you over Christmas.
	Then we picked up Ryan this morning and went into Manhattan to go to the studio.
	And as we picked up Ryan, he came in.
	Milo came into Ryan's apartment and he was privy to the fag zone.
	To use the bathroom.
	We call his house the fag zone.
	It's a delightful area.
	I notice it's got one of those Japanese appendages, which I'm too scared to use.
	I'm guessing you press a button.
	It's pushy.
	It's the worst bidet you can get.
	It feels like a needle of...
	You know they have water saws that can cut steel?
	It feels like that.
	I can only set it on 0.5 out of 10.
	Right, right.
	Because I don't want to have a new one.
	So if Ryan presumably can manage a five, I'd be like pulling the past 10.
	I'm going to head out of your urethra.
	It would go by.
	Your asshole probably looks like a baby yawning.
	So it would go through that giant hole out your urethra, and it would just look like they were pissing.
	You're on quite thin ice talking about incontinence, aren't you, really?
	You know, you're assholes.
	It's funny you say that.
	I've got to say I have the anus of a 70-year-old gay man.
	But I would be willing to bet that most of those 70-year-old gay men choose when to go for a shit.
	You know, my worst part is...
	Are you entirely sure that you do?
	At the diner, you've got to take off your shoes and your pants to get rid of your underwear.
	I know I'm going to regret asking.
	And then I think, if someone walks in right now, they're just going to see like socks and pants and shoes sitting there.
	You're going to think somebody melted.
	I know I'm going to regret asking this, but this obviously happens to you regularly on a monthly basis, perhaps a weekly basis.
	Maybe every three months.
	Yeah, well, if four times a year.
	Judging by how you lie about your height, I'm going to guess that that means it happens once or twice a week.
	So when you go into the public bathroom of a diner and you've realized that you've done a whoopsie, what's the procedure?
	Like, how do you make sure that things don't drip on your shoes?
	Talk us through.
	Well, it's not a lot of fecal matter.
	It's just like maybe three tablespoons of stomach acid.
	Three tablespoons is quite a lot.
	And especially if it's liquid, it's probably drip.
	Does it run down your leg?
	No, it doesn't have time.
	And I wear tidy whiteys, so there's not any seepage.
	So you put it in the bag.
	It's saying to Jesus.
	It's like a balloon with water in it down there.
	It's just rolling around.
	No, coating your undercoating.
	It's already sort of been absorbed.
	Your perineum is soaked.
	I'm just praying that it's not...
	Your perineum.
	Do you shave down there?
	No.
	Or do you trim at least?
	Yeah, my prostate and my buttocks were all covered with yellow water.
	Bile, whatever it is.
	I think we may be boring the fans With too much exposition on this pant shitting.
	But yeah, you've got to put it in the garbage.
	All right, so your Scottish origins are the reason that you have like this toilet paper that's.
	Oh, that's different.
	The explanation for that is: I don't think my wife enjoys shopping.
	So when she's getting things like toilet paper, she's just like, oh, whatever, fuck.
	Does she do it badly on purpose so you'll get someone else to do it?
	You know, like, when you're a kid, and you don't really washing up, so you break stuff on the paper.
	She's not a good shopper.
	She hates it.
	So sometimes I'll open the fridge and there's four things of milk.
	I'm like, what are you buying?
	Or three things of flour.
	Flour lasts months.
	What are you doing?
	Right, so she's not good at maintaining the levels of things.
	Correct.
	Right.
	Because her heart's not in it.
	Right, right.
	So that's why we have such shitty toilet paper in our colours.
	I see.
	Well, I'll never fucking sell that.
	I'll know in future to wait until I get to Ryan's to relieve myself.
	Or bring your own.
	Do you know what?
	That's a good idea.
	I overbuy underwear.
	You can just use an old pair of my underwear.
	Or not.
	Okay, just throwing stuff out there.
	In the news today.
	You're a truly horrible person.
	Shia LaBeouf.
	Shia LaBeouf is being sued by FKA Twiggs for abuse.
	Efka Twiggs.
	Efka Twiggs.
	Good lord.
	I can't listen to her music.
	No, I don't listen to her music, but I know how to say her name.
	Okay.
	Efka Twiggs.
	I've never said that.
	Aren't we in the business of commentating on pop culture and you don't know Ethika Twiggs?
	I'm 50 years old.
	Am I supposed to know Ethika Twiggs?
	Ethika Twiggs.
	Efaca Twiggs.
	Ethica Twiggs.
	Her music is just not music, isn't it?
	Oh, it's no, it's Gussie.
	It's weird.
	It's Gussie.
	It's haunting Artie.
	Two weeks is good.
	It's a five-second comment attack song.
	Well, you don't like it so much as having sex with women who look like that.
	No.
	I don't know what she looks like, but I know I'm not afraid of that.
	Although that's like waif-like, skinny, vaguely Irish big hair.
	I don't see a lot of Irish there.
	She's dressed up.
	See, I was right.
	It's five seconds of a massive attack song.
	Dressed up like me on now.
	I didn't hear you say that.
	Yeah, that's true.
	Just before the good bit starts.
	Boring.
	Massive attack song.
	Sounds like scissors.
	Sounds like scissors.
	Oh, that song is going to be in my head all day now.
	What is it?
	The Germans said, an auvwoom?
	That's really got it.
	That's wormed its way in there.
	Anyway, that's Shuza Muff for beating her and raping her and giving her STDs.
	Lucky bitch.
	And Saya also is jumping in saying he lied to me, said he was single.
	Sia.
	Sia.
	Sia.
	Were you leaving?
	How can you do that and yet not know the idiom rub it in her face?
	I don't know.
	It makes no sense.
	Like, come on, buddy.
	I like my face rub.
	I also have a question.
	Why is this mic rusty?
	I don't know if that's rusty.
	Where has it been?
	We did do an interview with my asshole once.
	Once?
	There was a lot of takes.
	It's probably because that's our fart mic that we use on nude night.
	It makes us like a real horror over here on GML.
	It's okay.
	I can manage with it.
	You look like the tainted love, the soft cell guy.
	What's his name?
	Mark Almond.
	Tainted love.
	But I thought it was interesting to see my new favorite follow on Parlor, which is Azealia Banks.
	Am I saying that right?
	Azealia, yes.
	She's so awesome.
	Don't look this up, because if you start looking up Azealia Banks' interviews, you'll be gone for two hours.
	Oh, days, days.
	You can get into an Azealia Banks hole.
	My favorite one when she's on MTV and the vapid interviewer goes, you know, it would be cool if you did something with Adele and she could be singing and then you would rap after, you know, as the verses.
	And Azealia Banks goes, no, that would be whack.
	That's a really corny idea.
	So anyway, her take on the Shia LaBeouf story is, oh, fuck off.
	She didn't knowingly give you an S C D. He had a cold sore.
	And they weren't hunting dogs.
	They were probably shooting at coyotes.
	Because Efka Twiggs claims that Shila Buff dragged her along as he shot dogs from the car.
	And she's like, one, Los Angeles dog culture is so serious.
	No one would allow a dog to be randomly walking around outside.
	Two, dog catchers would have scooped him up in an instant.
	Three, you're probably looking at coyotes.
	I can't see four.
	No one can pull a trigger in Los Angeles without it being heard.
	Five, if Shia was running around randomly shooting stray dogs, oh, it's Shia who claims this.
	Okay, because they're both attacking him.
	Chances are those stray dogs are actually coyotes, which you're allowed to hunt.
	You know who Azealia Banks reminds me of in like the bad attitude and not giving a shit about what she's supposed to say?
	It's Urtha Kitt.
	You remember?
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	She used to say things.
	She called me an ugly duckling, they called me.
	Like, ow!
	Yeah, she used to say things that she wasn't really supposed to as a black woman, like sounding very Republican at times.
	You know, she came out against the Vietnam War.
	Right, but she also came, like, she didn't like welfare too much.
	She thought people should work hard and men should do this and women should do this.
	And she didn't give a shit, and she had a big attitude about it, but people let her get away with it because of talent.
	I love that about her.
	Well, no, she was eventually banished to France.
	She ended up in Paris because she was so hated here.
	Yes, that's true.
	That's true.
	Well, I mean, Azealia will end up going, too.
	Probably.
	Even dear Tina Turner lives in Switzerland now, you know?
	Oh, really?
	Outspoken black women, they don't last long in this country.
	No, well.
	Unless they're woke.
	If Turner had to go there because of the American tit rules after they become four feet long.
	They're basically just legs.
	I was wondering when.
	She's on all fours, she looks like a spider.
	I was wondering when the old Ike was going to show up.
	When she's on all fours, it's all sixes.
	Stop it.
	Stop it.
	She's a national treasure.
	Yeah, and then she also defended the cold sore thing.
	She's a national treasure.
	She didn't give you an STD.
	You made out with him when he had a cold sore.
	Do you have that tweet?
	Or that parlor?
	I got this the whole parlor.
	Let me see here.
	Why was she banned from that?
	Or just that one.
	Just that one there.
	Azealia Banks was banned from, I think, Twitter and Instagram for calling the Asian one in one direction an N-word.
	She said he was a sand.
	Oh.
	You say it, I don't, so you can say it if you want to.
	A sand neighbor.
	Yes, yes, that's exactly right.
	And then that was the final straw, apparently.
	No, I'm not scared to say it.
	I'll say it right now.
	Everyone, you say it with me.
	I hate negativity.
	Beware of ninjas.
	Yeah, she goes, he had a cold sore.
	And she goes, who hasn't jumped on they man when he has 102 degree fever?
	Yeah, he probably covered it up because he was being photographed.
	He didn't want people to see his cold sore.
	Like, she really gets into the nitty-gritty science of Shia LaBeouf's lip zit.
	That's what I like about her.
	She will disappear down the rabbit hole.
	And then three tweets or three statuses later, she's talking about doing like brucha with chickens in her cupboard at home, doing like weird witch shit.
	And then it's some like bizarre weed tweet.
	And then she's like, now, and then she's coming for Russell Crowe.
	She's great.
	She's fantastic.
	And you know what else I like about her?
	She's a hustler.
	So when she blew up, like 212 was probably 10 years ago now.
	Right.
	Still one of the best dance tracks of all time.
	It's so good.
	It's like five songs compacted into one.
	But she opened a store the first day she blew up where she sells her bizarre Jamaican voodoo song and fucking yoga bread.
	And she got rich off that too.
	Yep.
	We had lunch with her and she was beautiful and bonkers.
	Just as a pop star automatically.
	Oh, that was good gossip.
	She told us that she went on a date with Jack and then he turned out to be a fag.
	Jack.
	Dorsey.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Jack Dorsey.
	Well, I sat on Jack Dorsey's lap, and he really liked it and didn't want me to move at a tech conference in Dublin about eight years ago.
	Really?
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	He really, he was like...
	You were a child eight years ago.
	Thanks, thanks.
	That's the nicest thing you've ever said on your lips.
	No, he was like holding my hips to keep me in place.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, true.
	Didn't she also say he's growing a beard because it's a gay thing when you say you're a top and if you're fucking your man electronic.
	But I thought his boyfriend was the BLM guy.
	How would he possibly be topping him?
	I don't understand the science of blood sex.
	I don't understand.
	There's two different kinds of gays.
	Let me tell you that my.
	You've got your Tom of Finland gaze.
	You've got your My John gaze.
	You've got your just normal men who happen, unfortunately, to be so afflicted.
	And then you've got the San Francisco gaze.
	And I don't understand the San Francisco gaze at all.
	I can never predict which one of them is going to be the daddy.
	I have no clue how they work at all.
	Well, I think of San Francisco as very Babylonian.
	Like they probably have eight sims instead of three sims, and there's toe-sucking going on.
	It doesn't even count as sex when it's too close to the colours.
	If you go to a gays house in San Francisco, you're sort of slipping on the floor.
	There's fluids.
	Well, look, silicon lube is very difficult to clean up.
	Silicon lube.
	Silicon lube, silicon lube.
	Always trying to fight with a little guy.
	Here's a black woman I don't like.
	Cynthia Johnson is so hateable that I love her.
	And she's the woman you love to hate.
	She is fucking nuts.
	And she's the gift that keeps giving.
	I've got three videos here.
	Do you know who this is?
	No.
	She's some senator from Detroit, some rep from Detroit, who's been trying to sabotage this Stop the Steal thing, sabotage the sabotage.
	And then she's talking about starting a war with Trump supporters and how we have to get her.
	Oh, I have seen her.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	Trump supporters.
	She's the new Mad Maxine, right?
	She's trying to have herself crowned craziest black woman in Congress.
	She also can't pronounce the word soldiers.
	What does she say?
	Oh, you'll see.
	Oops.
	Oops, I was jamming up to a little Azalea.
	Why?
	I was going to play it in the background while you guys talked about it.
	I'm not worried.
	I'm not going into...
	I'm not going underground.
	I'm not changing my fucking phone number.
	I ain't doing none of that.
	But we're going to change some shit that's been going on in the city of Detroit.
	What?
	Things that have happened to our people in our community.
	Isn't it Detroit anymore?
	Oh, yes.
	Isn't it just piles of people?
	Nobody knows.
	Nobody's been in the community.
	No one's been in the middle.
	No one has been on it for about 20 years.
	Administration owes the city of Detroit.
	Oh, yes.
	Oh, yes.
	I put my life on the line for not only the Democratic Party, the Republican Party, the city of Detroit.
	I put my life on the line for justice.
	Did you?
	For democracy.
	And mind you, I never called anyone out of their names, of course, unless they're liars or dumbasses.
	You know, this black expression.
	To call someone out of their name?
	No, I've never heard it before.
	I'm glad you're here on the show today to help you.
	You don't have black guests very often, so I'm happy to be here to help to get those statistics back up again.
	It basically just means to slander somebody.
	To call somebody out of their name or out on their name means to accuse them of something wrong.
	Okay.
	Wrongly.
	So it must be an evolution of calling someone out.
	Something like that.
	Which is an evolution, I guess, of calling someone outside to fight.
	I think something like that.
	Yeah.
	Okay.
	Never called her a name.
	You're high bitch.
	Never branded her something.
	So she was reprimanded for saying, we're going to get out in the streets and we're going to start a civil war.
	So now this is her saying, I don't care about the reprimandation.
	I'm fine.
	Let's do things a little bit differently.
	We don't have to call people out of their names.
	We don't have to make threats.
	But you just did.
	What we need to do is use your own words and use your own voicemail messages and use your own videos.
	She's turning into Sarah Silverman there.
	Oh my God.
	What the hell happened?
	You're so right.
	With her little smile and her little lips.
	She's just Silverman asking.
	What are you guys doing?
	That's dead on.
	I was wondering what that reminded me of.
	Can I take it back?
	Yeah, sure.
	All we need to do is use your own words and use your own voicemail messages and use your own videos.
	Use your own shit.
	Wow.
	What are you talking about?
	One of the things that upsets me About this new breed of activist African-American Democrats, or at least their new chapter, is that they are throwing propriety to the wind in all kinds of ways.
	I mean, America's like America's a country they really care about appropriateness over here, right?
	I mean, the idea that even just a local congressman would be swearing, you know, we're going to do some shit.
	It's only black people can get away with doing that.
	Nobody else could do that.
	And they seem to be invoking this kind of language, you know, because that's what the situation calls for now.
	That's the kind of desperate situation.
	It doesn't.
	It's not.
	But it's just another example of this sort of double standards in public life.
	We're happy for elected representatives to go online and say piss shit and fuck if they're black and if they're a Democrat.
	When, you know, everybody else is held to a slightly different and higher standard about how they ought to pay.
	In terms of propriety, right?
	I know it's not the biggest and most important thing to talk about.
	But it's just how far they can go.
	But it's something I've noticed growing over the last six months.
	You've got these elected representatives who, because they're black Democrats, feel able to transgress norms very, very flagrantly.
	And if anything, they're applauded for it.
	And they have the gall then to turn around and say Trump is lowering the state of discourse when what Trump says is she's really not a nice person.
	You know, like that's the kind of shit Trump says.
	Trump says something like, she's really not a nice person.
	And they say he's lowering the quality of public debate, lowering the discourse, while they're out here saying, we're going to do some shit.
	I remember seeing, it was the House of Representatives or whatever it was, in Florida, and they had this rapper named Hurricane or something.
	And he had a song called Hale Bere about how much he wants to fuck Haliberi.
	Everybody does.
	And so they bring it into the hallelujah.
	And he's got a microphone and he's like, Haliberry, Halle.
	She's so fine.
	She's like, Hale Berry.
	And all the black politicians are there dancing and twerking around him.
	And he's like, Haliberry, Hali Berry.
	Yeah, there it is.
	And I thought about one of the most beautiful women in the world today.
	And I said, Halley Berry.
	You know, a lot of women look at her and they say, I want to be beautiful like Halliburry.
	But, you know, we got a lot of different types of women, different colors, shapes.
	I just wanted to let them know that.
	Today, government politics.
	Just a black guy talking about who he wants to be.
	He goes on to say, all women are Holly Berry in their own way.
	Oh, God.
	Which is not true.
	Interestingly, Halle Berry, another black woman who doesn't live in this country anymore, she lives in Paris now.
	Apparently, she was so disgusted by the things she saw in Hollywood that she was out of it.
	Like pedophilia stuff?
	I would imagine so.
	I mean, she's obviously never said.
	So she comes back once in a while for a little victory lap or an occasional role, but she lives in Paris.
	All right, let's see him sing.
	Because he starts doing the song.
	Oh, God.
	Press play.
	Really?
	So she has like a ghetto blaster on the side.
	Let me give him a stop over and see if they're familiar with it.
	A lot of the youngsters going to already know about it.
	Gonna already know what shit you've got.
	She's trying really hard.
	The mics can't handle that moment.
	Everything's blowing up.
	Look, there's the heel in the top right bouncing up.
	Bouncing away.
	The woman next to him is trying so hard to look normal.
	Imagine you're a politician.
	You have this bill that you're trying to pass to stop flooding in the lower.
	We're trying to discuss SB 1291.
	Property value is plummeting with these flooding marshlands, but first.
	So have we finished the Cynthia Johnson clip?
	Does she keep right at the end?
	She said, soldiers.
	It will be the words of hate.
	It will be the words of hatred.
	And then the whole world can see.
	Okay, so this is a soldier.
	So what did she say to you?
	16.
	That one said, I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not calling for violence.
	I want you to just use your voice to tell Trump supporters to fuck themselves.
	And you'll see the hate you get in return, and we'll expose them for the racist monsters that we are, I guess.
	All you soldiers, soldiers of Christ, soldiers against racism, soldiers against misogyny.
	That's not me.
	Soldiers against domestic violence and domestic terrorism.
	Definitely not me.
	I'll get to it eventually.
	Rise.
	It's not my highest priority.
	It's time for you to rise.
	Soldiers!
	Soldiers for Christ.
	Soldiers against racism.
	Didn't you already say that?
	Soldiers against misogyny.
	Soldiers for black and brown colours.
	People who are being mistreated.
	Rise.
	You may want to scream.
	Soldiers.
	You can tell she's like, black people.
	One is people who are being treated by evil forces.
	Soldiers.
	Keep going.
	That was it.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, I got one more.
	I can't tell if we've already had this one yet.
	Testify.
	That would be 1-7.
	Let's see.
	Here we go.
	I'm good.
	I'm okay.
	I'm not worried.
	So repeat.
	Is that the rename of the first one?
	I'm not going underground.
	I'm not changing my fucking phone number.
	That's the first one.
	But she seemed to say soldiers perfectly normally.
	Soldiers?
	Soldiers.
	Soldiers.
	I didn't hear anything weird about that.
	Really?
	Maybe you've been living with a black man for too long.
	Now you know this is one of the oldest symbols.
	Anytime is too long, isn't it, Gavin?
	Yeah.
	Honestly, the worst thing about living with a black person is not the Tupperware or the Ziploc bags, although there is a sort of terrifying pathology about people who put one potato in a Ziploc and end that the organization of the fridge is upsetting.
	It's butter.
	Oh, yes, you were talking about this.
	Butter wars, they call them.
	Butter wars.
	So as any civilized person who was born outside of a barn knows, proper butter, churned, salted or unsalted, is a very tough substance.
	It's tough stuff.
	And if you keep it in the fridge, it becomes unspreadable because it's meant to be kept at room temperature in a butter dish.
	If you're worried about bugs, you just put the tray thing on top of it.
	Well, that's why butter dishes have lids.
	And the other thing is, it's just fat, and bugs are not like massively into fat.
	You're like sugar.
	Right.
	If you put like seven different things, you know, spill seven different things, the butter's the thing they'd go for at the end, you know, when they've eaten everything else.
	And in any case, a nice butter dish will have a sort of rounded oblong shape with a little lid of the same kind of dimensions with a little handle.
	So I tried to explain, we're not going to eat margarine in this house.
	We're going to have butter, nice kerry gold, proper Irish butter.
	And I left it outside and it kept being moved back to the fridge.
	I tried to explain, you know, what was going on here and it wasn't, so I bought a butter dish in the end.
	The butter dish was broken within four days.
	In a rage.
	Accidentally smashed.
	It was a nice one too, a waterfoot crystal butter dish.
	No, and now I just have to keep, now I have to keep my own supply of butter in a Ziploc bag in the top cupboard that not even I can reach so that I've got spreadable butter.
	It might be a Puerto Rican problem too because Brian keeps things in the fag zone.
	He keeps them in the freezer so the roaches won't eat them.
	Like sugar.
	No, you don't attract roaches.
	Right.
	He has all kinds of sugar and non-freezy things are in his freezer.
	Like Parmesan cheese is in his freezer.
	Parmesan cheese freezer, yes.
	Parmesan cheese freezer.
	Food does end up in weird places in my house.
	When I'm in a fat period, you know, every sort of, I have like two-year cycles, so I'll have a six-month fat period and then 18 months of getting in shape again.
	And the six-month fat period like does so much damage, it takes me 18 months to recover, you know?
	And during those times, I do occasionally catch myself installing little shelves by the toilet so that I can have toilet cheese.
	I am actually a first-class fat girl.
	What stage are you in right now?
	I've just come out of a fat stage, so I lost nearly 40 pounds in the last three months.
	Oh, I saw that on your Telegram.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah.
	I'm doing really well.
	And after about another month of dieting, then I start lifting.
	So now I'm okay again now.
	I can fit into clothes again.
	But I did, actually, Chadwick was visiting my house, and he said, what is that in your bathroom?
	I said, that's my toilet cheese.
	He's going to get pissed on it.
	When people piss.
	No, no, no.
	It's on like a shelf next to it.
	Sometimes when you're fat.
	It's making me nauseous.
	When you're fat, sometimes you're in the toilet for a really long time.
	And I get peckish.
	I think I'm going to barf.
	Homeboy is getting that like, get it.
	Here was a funny observation speaking of female politicians, AOC.
	I thought this was interesting.
	I have not verified it myself.
	By the way, I bought you the...
	I bought an Ilhan Omar shirt that says, fuck around and find out.
	Ooh, did you get me stickers?
	And I got you the stickers.
	Oh, thank you.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	I hated giving my information to Ilhan Omar.
	Well, not so much that, but you gave her a campaign contribution.
	I did too.
	It was for your Christmas present, so that's the only one that's not a surprise.
	I got a bunch of other things.
	Fortunately, I'm not allowed by law to make campaign contributions to American candidates, so no credit card information from me.
	Tax-free?
	Let's go.
	See this tweet.
	Just notice all men's S and women's double XL sizes are scrolled out.
	Doesn't that just tell you everything you need to know?
	I'm sure it's not true, but it's a lovely job.
	I don't want to know.
	I didn't verify because I don't want to know.
	I bet it wasn't.
	I just know if it was a lie.
	They're like, restock, restock.
	Restock, restock.
	Yeah, they'd never allow that to happen because it's too perfect.
	Yeah, no, you've probably spoken about the Ilhan Omar thing on the show already before, but I noticed this.
	Okay, well, I noticed this when I was browsing the Fox News website.
	And you know, they're very uptight about things.
	So they just, it was the Fox News app, and it just said Ilhan Omar slammed for vulgar slogan on new whatever.
	And I'm just like, any Ilhan Omar story, I at least want to scan so I know what happened, you know?
	So I hit it, and I saw Ilhan Omar has been criticized.
	Fuck around and find out, asterisk out.
	I'm like, no, no.
	Yeah, we did talk about this.
	This is the proud boy's model.
	So I text him, and I'm like, do you think this is on purpose?
	Is she trying to reclaim his life?
	This is just sheer incompetence.
	This is sheer incompetence.
	What a fucking imbecile.
	But that should bring us to our next feminism section.
	We've been talking about chicks a lot.
	Let's go to feminism.
	And Milo, I want you to look at the bottom of the screen.
	Someone in the black bathing suit.
	Yes.
	Lingerie.
	Yes.
	And tell me you don't get at least kind of a boner.
	Oh, you keep doing this too.
	Just a tenth of a boner, maybe?
	Or you'd love to at least snuggle maybe motorboated tits?
	This one was significant.
	Feminism is cancer.
	Feminism is cancer.
	I'm a lady.
	The black bathing suit there?
	No, there's nothing that's doing anything.
	How?
	They do not want that.
	Why are they squealing my 2015?
	Oh, that's what we call our feminism segment.
	Feminism is cancer.
	Oh, it is.
	Yes.
	Oh, oh, oh, okay, fine.
	Well, you may, you may.
	You're welcome.
	I mean, it was an astute observation that gets truer every year.
	Well, it wasn't originally framed as an observation.
	It was a poll.
	You know, now there are all these polls now that 4chan takes over with very funny results.
	You know, would you rather embrace trans people and respect their pronouns?
	Or, you know, I'm a Nazi.
	Or eat toilet cheese.
	Yeah, 4chan will get hold of it and I'm a Nazi will win by like 40,000 votes.
	But this hadn't happened yet in 2015.
	So I just put, would you rather your child had A feminism or B cancer?
	And 22,000 people voted, which at that time was an enormous number for a Twitter poll.
	And cancer won by like 3,000 votes.
	Cancer is true to me.
	And for that crime, I lost my verification.
	Oh, yeah, I remember.
	Merely for asking the public a question.
	They're vulgar.
	They're just punching Nazi all the time and cheering Trump supporters.
	And then I just asked a quick joke and be outraged.
	Anyway, yes.
	Good times.
	What's this?
	Fun holiday tree?
	I forgot what this is.
	1-9?
	While you're remembering that, Gavin can't spell declaration.
	D-E-C-C-C tree.
	L-E-R.
	These are the forceps used to take a baby out of your vagina and destroy it.
	And they reassemble it on the tray to make sure they got every piece, because if you leave a hand in there, it will rot.
	So the Christmas tree star is the baby murdering device.
	I assume those are only used for like third terms.
	Who's Christmas tree star?
	Who is this that's done this?
	Her name is Michael Anthony, I guess.
	But yeah.
	Pro-abortion.
	God.
	Abortions.
	Christmas.
	I think.
	Isn't murder illegal?
	I am moved to...
	My natural instinct for these women is compassion because it's only out of deep trauma and misery and regret for what they know is wrong that they've done that anybody could possibly behave like this.
	This is a coping mechanism, isn't it?
	For somebody who knows that they screwed up, that they took a life, that they did the worst thing imaginable, that they made the wrong choice and they can never take it.
	They're never drenched in guilt.
	Right, they can never ever take it back.
	And their way to cope with it is to lean in in the other direction.
	And so, you know, for most of these people, I just want to see them strung up and hanging from the city hall.
	But with these women, the shout my abortion women, I do have a degree of compassion because it seems to me that this is just a scream of pain from them realizing that they fucked up.
	Well, your poll was a funny joke.
	Feminism is cancer.
	That is a joke, too.
	What's the difference?
	Well, one of them is clever and whimsical and true, and the other one is a sort of grotesque expression of pain and misery.
	It's a cry for help.
	One of them is a sort of mischievous provocation.
	The other is a cry for help.
	Okay.
	Here's an interesting story that's going around today.
	And it reminds me of the Lauren Southern article where they said that they tried to make me look like it was a Me Too thing, even though she said nothing of the sort.
	So this chick...
	What did you do to Lauren Southern?
	Nothing.
	Anything you did to her is fine because she's awful.
	She kept making her say, I kept pushing her to say that I was inappropriate while I was making rude jokes or something.
	Anyway, this poor girl, she's a nurse who's on OnlyFans.
	And by the way, people talk about how hard nurses are working and stuff.
	You've got time to strip in the bathrooms.
	Maybe you should take an extra few hours.
	It's clear here.
	These heroes on the front line are getting paid.
	And they're getting paid overtime.
	These are not charity workers.
	Not that we should necessarily praise them other than maybe the frontline people who do it for free out of the goodness of their hearts.
	But these, yeah, this is not a calling.
	This is not a vocation.
	Lots of people have lost their jobs.
	These are working, but state pensions.
	People are committing suicide because their bars are being closed down.
	And you're getting overtime and you're like, woe is me.
	So anyway, I don't get the OnlyFans thing, but I think the writer, his angle here was it's so hard for the nurses, they have to slut themselves out.
	But they totally expose her.
	She's begging them not to.
	They put up her OnlyFans.
	They call her mother.
	They're haranguing her.
	It's almost like revenge porn.
	And then she goes, most of the quotes in that article are me defending myself to this reporter.
	He did not include that I begged him to remain anonymous, which was never agreed to, and that I told him my safety and job were going to be at risk if he posted this article.
	He truly did not care.
	He went on to call my employer and my mother.
	Aren't they scumbags?
	Look, I've done stuff like that, but only when somebody...
	No, but only when somebody deserves it.
	You don't do that about someone who might be making a horrible life choice, but isn't outright hurting anybody.
	The only person I can think of that I really, really went to town on was that girl who threw water over us and beer over us.
	This girl's just minding her business, doing something stupid.
	She might be doing something disgusting and degenerate and disreputable that is guaranteed to make her miserable, but that's at the end of the day her choice.
	And if you have a problem with that, then do an article about how sad it is that women are going on OnlyFans and how it's just legal prostitution.
	It's the victims.
	It's a bunch of simps jerking up.
	It's the prurience and vindictiveness, the moral ugliness of calling someone's mother just because you want to hear her pain on the phone.
	That's the tattletales.
	The tattletale squad.
	You want to handle her mother's.
	Christopher Matthias, Jared Holt, Will Summer.
	Their jobs are not journalism.
	Their jobs are tattletaling.
	But it's worse than that because snitches at school do it to beam with pleasure when the teacher gives them a pat on the head.
	This is worse than that.
	This guy's calling the employers knowing that she's going to get fired.
	Calling her mother knowing that they're going to hear weeping, a weeping parent on the phone.
	Devastate.
	That's what these people do for a living.
	It's much worse than just telling stories.
	They're actually, they're destroying people's lives and not remotely, not at a distance, not with a publish button on WordPress, but down the end of the phone, listening to this woman's mother weeping like an old lady.
	They would call my wife this.
	This harassment cried.
	Fucking horrible people.
	Awful.
	So that was a feminist piece in our Feminism is Cancer segment because we have her side on that one.
	And here's another feminist piece.
	Government is incompetent.
	This woman has her daughter murdered by the cartels.
	America can't deal with the cartels.
	There's no real law enforcement anymore.
	So what does she do?
	She fucking turns into James Bond.
	Hunts them down.
	She doesn't kill them, unfortunately, but she hunts them down with like dyed hair and aliases and fake driver's licenses and fucking holds them, holds a gun to their neck and says, don't fucking move.
	She don't want my face.
	Waiting for the cops.
	She stalked her daughter's killers across Mexico.
	Favorite genre of news story is vigilantes, right?
	I love them.
	I am so pro-vigilante.
	There's a group of kids who have a YouTube channel.
	I'm sure it's going to get deleted at any time, and I can't remember the name of it, but it's amazing.
	And if you've seen any of them, you'll know what I'm talking about.
	They entrap pedophiles and then wander in with cameras saying, Are you waiting here for a young boy?
	But the thing that bothers me about those is, why are you not breaking his ribs?
	The guy was about to rape a child and you're embarrassing.
	Maybe it doesn't make camera.
	Let's ramp it up.
	Fine.
	Maybe it doesn't make camera because they don't want evidence of killing it.
	But regardless, they're on the right track.
	The other one that I loved recently was a couple of weeks ago, I think.
	And this woman was coming out of a courthouse just going like this.
	And the headline was, woman who murdered Pedophile says she has no regrets.
	Has no regrets and would do it all over again.
	And she comes out of court and goes, what a fucking hero.
	Look, law enforcement's not doing their jobs.
	They won't protect us.
	They'll protect Antifa.
	Antifa, of course, you know, wants to defund the police, but run to them anytime anything happens.
	They won't police anything that they ought to be doing.
	They won't stick up for you if you're right-wing in the streets.
	They won't even investigate crimes they should.
	Where are we left but with individual citizens committing acts of heroism?
	Antifa and BLM were burning down America, and the Prabhupada said, all right, fine.
	The police are not doing their job.
	We got to move in.
	Beautiful.
	Now, please excuse us for a moment.
	I have to leave.
	So during this brief commercial message from Gavin, you have to make something up.
	Sorry, I'm going to scamper around.
	Well, I'll just read you the article.
	Put up the article there.
	Fine.
	God bless and good night.
	Thank you, Milo Giannopoulos, for popping by the show.
	Always a joy to have your gigantic frame crammed in this small studio.
	I am normal size.
	You are going to be Guinness Book of World Records.
	Because of how the camera's framed in the moment, it doesn't make any in through the doorway.
	Sort of hunkered down under the ceiling there as he finds his way.
	He looks like someone in World War II going through the foxholes, trying not to get his head blown off, but he's really just trying to avoid bashing his head on the chip.
	Just because this studio is a small place for small people, this Liliputian studio.
	This little Midget Emporium.
	All right, bicep.
	Bye, Michael.
	She goes, if you move, I'll shoot you, she told him.
	This is the woman who caught the Mexican gangster and hunted them down and then pointed guns at them until the cops came.
	If you move, I'll shoot you, she told him, according to family members involved in her scramble to capture the floors that day.
	She held him there for nearly an hour, awaiting the police to make the arrest.
	In three years, Mrs. Rodriguez captured nearly every living member of the crew that had abducted her daughter for ransom.
	A rogues gallery of criminals who tried to start new lives as a born-again Christian.
	Wait, oh my God, the New York Times is defending them.
	A rogues gallery of criminals who tried to start new lives as a born-again Christian, a taxi driver, a car salesman, a babysitter.
	Aww.
	Those poor guys.
	All they did was murder a random child, a random girl, kidnap, try to get money, didn't work out.
	They murder her, and one had become a taxi driver.
	And she got them arrested.
	She didn't even kill them, by the way.
	How dare she capture them?
	What the f.
	The New York Times is fucking satanic.
	In all, she was instrumental in taking down 10 people, a mad campaign for justice that made her famous, but vulnerable.
	No one challenged organized crime.
	Never mind, put its members in prison.
	So, of course, they killed her.
	She told the American government, I'm going to need federal, I'm going to need law enforcement to take care of me.
	But they said no.
	And then they came into her house and shot her dead.
	Which brings us to the Proud Boys.
	We're talking about vigilanteism.
	There was a hell of a weekend this weekend in D.C. Lots and lots of fights.
	It seemed, the million mega march seemed more about just showing that you support Trump.
	This appeared to be about kicking Antifa's ass.
	Let's get into it.
	Start fights.
	Finish them.
	Proud boys, stand back and stand by.
	Coulter blames Trump's loss on his lack of support for Proud Boys.
	She's a major fan.
	This is 2-7 now.
	We're jumping.
	We're jumping because Milo talks so much that he almost gobbled up the whole show.
	If Trump had stood by the magnificent Proud Boys, he would have won.
	Now, I think this is the stabbing.
	Yeah, there you see the knife.
	So you're not going to believe this.
	This woman in the New York Post, well, let me just tell you the truth first.
	I think I'm going to write a book about Proud Boys and all this shit that's going on, and I'm going to have the truth and then the story.
	Here's the truth.
	Black guy goes to Harry's bar, conservative bar, to find and stab Proud Boys.
	They come out, they go, what the fuck are you doing?
	He stabs them.
	He stabs four.
	They end up in the hospital.
	One of them was just released.
	He had a punctured lung.
	Okay?
	This is the left's take.
	White supremacists surround black men.
	People are stabbed.
	And she calls us white nationalists.
	This was 3-3.
	Go to the New York Post.
	So this woman, Elizabeth Elizade, that's her take on this thing.
	So I think we should give her a call.
	Shall we?
	Now, I've got a few numbers for her here.
	Oops.
	Hey, Elizabeth, it's Gavin McInnes here.
	You got to take down that white nationalist thing.
	It's a multiracial club headed by Enrique Tario.
	I believe you're Hispanic, too.
	He's one of your own.
	But it's not a white nationalist thing, and you rarely see someone saying that anymore.
	That's an old-timey amateur mistake.
	All right, let's try another one.
	What's 347?
	Is that LA?
	I think she came in from the Daily News, which is a super lefty paper.
	347's New York, isn't it?
	Is it?
	Oh, it's like an old cell phone.
	This is like Geraldo in the tomb.
	Al Capone's vault.
	It opens up and it's dust.
	Obviously, what criminal is going to leave a bunch of money and evidence in a vault?
	Well, we have a scoop exclusive.
	Oh, okay.
	Oh, well, that was a bust.
	But I was thinking, so there's been four knife incidents, at least four, with Proud Boys.
	There was Trigger Tommy in Chicago.
	He'd been attacked by Antifa for years.
	They've been jumping him on the street.
	They split his head open with 14 stitches instead of with pool cues.
	He's been chased all the way from Portland to Chicago.
	They claim he's a Nazi skin.
	He's not.
	And so he starts carrying a knife with him.
	And he wants to see this punk show.
	And he goes, they're probably going to attack me.
	I guess I'll bring a knife for self-defense.
	So he goes to the punk show.
	He's hiding in the corner.
	They spot him.
	They start mobbing him, like 20 people.
	And he's like, shit, he pulls out the knife.
	He goes, get back, get back, get back.
	They charge him.
	So he's like, ah!
	Cuts two guys, does a year in prison.
	Conversely, that guy last night, or Saturday night, I guess it was, black dude who went there, he went there to kill.
	He went there to stab.
	And this is something you got to understand about Washington, D.C. Crime and violence is going through the roof.
	So although everyone is saying this is an Antifa guy because he was wearing all black, I don't think he was.
	I think he was one of these criminals, these thugs, super predators, as Biden would call them, or Hillary, sorry.
	He just calls them predators, who go hunting in this police-free zone.
	Yeah, that's footage of it.
	Because the third incident I'm about to talk about, it was a couple weeks ago where Bevlyn Beattie and Proud Boys were walking home.
	They saw a man getting stabbed.
	They heard the black guy say, I've been waiting to do this all night, meaning stab a dude.
	They jump in.
	They all get stabbed.
	Enrique gets, someone gets cut across the face, Enrique gets it in the stomach.
	That other dude gets stabbed in the back, but it doesn't go through because he's wearing plates.
	Bevlyn's lungs punctured.
	I think she was in the hospital for about a week.
	And the story from that one, USA Today, said, it's yet another example of the preferential treatment proud boys get from police.
	What?
	Because police, I guess, drove around with Enrique to see who did it.
	And that's preferential treatment.
	I contacted that journalist, too.
	The police drive around with every victim of a stabbing.
	What are they supposed to do?
	Go bullshit.
	Go fuck yourself.
	Like, that's their job.
	No matter what the story is, whether it's true or false, by the way, your job is to try to find the perp, the accused, and settle and figure out what happened with the evidence.
	Anyway, that's a third one.
	And then the fourth one was that woman we had on the show who came to this thing and had a switchblade out.
	And she got knocked out with a helmet.
	I don't have that in the links.
	It doesn't matter.
	So that's four incidents where Prowboys were totally innocent, prevented deaths, and came out as the bad guys because the media is the enemy.
	The media are destroying America.
	They're fucking terrorists.
	They're really bad news.
	And the lies are just absolutely fucking insane.
	Oh, and here's the other thing too.
	Sorry.
	So there's Antifa, Proud Boys, that was the main fight.
	I don't know why Proud Boys went and took down that Black Lives Matter flag.
	Guys, the optics there are not good.
	Not the smartest move in the world.
	But then there's also these people like that guy with the knife last night, who I think have no political affiliations, really.
	They just want to fucking commit crimes.
	And crime is so bad in D.C. that the Washington Post released a notice to subscribers saying they will only be getting their paper after dawn.
	I mean, yeah, after dawn.
	Because they can't be out in D.C. in the dark throwing papers out of a car because it's too dangerous.
	So they'll only be delivering the paper in the morning when it's bright out.
	So that's the environment.
	And journalists like this chick, what's her name?
	Elizabeth Elizade, she doesn't know that.
	Like, these people don't get out much.
	So she doesn't realize that she's in a fucking war zone.
	If you walk around DC at night, at any time, you see that it's an absolute petrifying war zone.
	So, yeah, the Proud Boys have decided to just clean up the town themselves.
	The cops aren't doing it.
	We saw this woman who hunted the people who killed her daughter.
	Vigilanteism is on the rise because the police's boss is saying, don't do your job.
	Yeah, I saw some clips.
	And then it seems like a lot of the Proud Boys have had enough because the police are protecting, you know, Antifa because they're weaker and they're probably more liable to get messed up.
	But they really were kind of like letting Antifa go throughout these zones that the cops blocked off and not letting Proud Boys through.
	So they were kind of protecting Antifa.
	And a lot of the footage when it's filmed, you know, like first person, they're like trying to convince the cops.
	They're like, what are you guys doing?
	Like, who's telling you to protect them?
	And, you know, we have your backs, but you don't have ours.
	And they're having a dialogue.
	Well, I forgot to number these ones, but jump ahead to the Antifa chased a man down an alley in California.
	This never makes the news.
	It's just above election gate of about 50.
	Okay.
	Yep.
	So Proud Boys surround a guy with a knife, and the story becomes white nationalists are attacking people.
	But this is what really goes on.
	This is in California.
	They just chase a guy down an alleyway.
	A whole mob of them.
	Look at them.
	They're all rimps, dude.
	You can tell by the way they walk.
	Half of them are women.
	We don't bring our girls to fights.
	Oh, here's another one.
	Here they are attacking a man and a couple in D.C. who are just minding their own business walking home.
	They like to cull the herd, they don't want to go for the main guys.
	They like some boomer couple walking home.
	Look at their bread and butter from the back of their head.
	Yeah, Jesus Christ is coming back again.
	Look at him run.
	Look at these weak fucking people attacking middle-aged people.
	See, I don't think...
	Is that guy political, the one with the vest, or does he just want to brawl?
	Who knows?
	I would say half of the...
	And then a lot of the Antifa too.
	There's the DC Antifa, and then there's the guys who were paid, hired to go down there and fight.
	You see them with backpacks on.
	That's what always gives away the tourists.
	The backpacks, because they got clothes and toothbrush and all that shit.
	So red shirt vest guy.
	And you never get the story.
	The media never gets the story right.
	Like this story.
	Go back up to Antifa BLM.
	They hunted Proud Boys for blocks, so Proud Boys turned around and kicked their ass.
	They just show the Antifa couple getting beat up.
	But it wasn't like what you just saw, where an innocent couple was walking home and got attacked.
	These guys have been stalking Proud Boys for three blocks, trying to, I don't know, call the herd, catch a weak one, attack them, find out someone, someone who's tie in their shoe, kick them in the head.
	So Proud Boys turned around and started kicking their ass.
	They came to fight Trump supporters in D.C., got beat up and chased away.
	There was a lot of streetbots that went there.
	These are not innocent people.
	And the backpack, look, they're the hired Antifa.
	And they got tuned up.
	See, this happened to us in the 80s with skinheads.
	I've told you the story before, right?
	How the skinheads who were created by the government, believe it or not, were taking over Ottawa, Montreal, and Toronto.
	A punk gang called a bunch of fucking goose got in their school bus that they owned, and they went to each town and beat up every Nazi skinhead.
	We never saw them ever again.
	But the other crazy part of that story is how the Nazis were created in the first place.
	Canada came up with like $100 million to tackle the Nazi problem in Canada at the time.
	This is in the 80s.
	Nazis in Canada?
	There's no non-white people in Canada, especially back in the 80s.
	It's like three Asians and a bunch of East Indians, I guess, but they were like hockey playing, swearing, bud-drinking assimilators.
	So it wasn't really a thing.
	There wasn't really racism per se in Canada at the time.
	So the government created this honeypot called the Heritage Foundation.
	And they talked about the Jews and the black man is coming to rape your wife and blah, blah, blah.
	And they put out pamphlets and they'd have like these big meetings.
	And young men, poor children of single moms, foster kids, started going, yeah, yeah, that is kind of fucked up.
	Yeah, I do love this country.
	And they made a bunch of Nazis where there were no Nazis.
	And you talk about Nazis today, like people call me a Nazi or Ryan a Nazi.
	Back then, they had swastika tattoos.
	Read my book, Death of Kool.
	Oh, it's gone now.
	They had like Klansmen galloping on their backs like fucking they were Nazis.
	And the vigilantes got rid of them.
	I wouldn't dare advocate violence, but I've seen it be effective in the past.
	Check out these losers we're up against.
	I'm sorry I didn't number these.
	Check out the Portland Chaz.
	It's called like Pa.
	Pop Pa.
	I don't know what the stupid acronym is, but it's right above Election Gate.
	Check out the Portland Chaz.
	This is who we're up against, all right?
	Let's hear this great speaker.
	They're almost as good as that woman at the beginning, Cynthia Johnson.
	The people that we're up against can't even speak English.
	They're stupider than Ryan.
	I like my face touched.
	I do.
	I like it.
	It's nice.
	I like dog treats.
	Okay, I'm Nicholas quick.
	I'm Nicholas, if you don't know me, I've been the public safety widow for the past three months or so.
	Pause.
	So real quick.
	How many people need that sign language interpreter?
	How many deaf people are there today?
	I'm going to wager zero.
	I'm going to wager zero people in the universe saw this guy doing his sign.
	I'll put money on it.
	I bet you there's not one person in the universe who went, oh, thank God that guy's there.
	I can understand everything now.
	I just want to say that, you know, a lot of people are kind of new to kind of what we're doing in this space.
	And one thing I noticed and stuff that could definitely be tightened up is communications.
	So this afternoon we will be having a conversation about communications and protocol and how we do fit assessment so that we're effectively communicating with each other between each barriers.
	Also know that a lot of my team members are on pretty much stationed on every single position at all times of the day.
	So if there is a problem, find somebody with the mic.
	We're probably all linked in together.
	And as I was saying a second ago, we're all here in this together.
	So let's work with each other and stuff and let's fucking do this.
	Great.
	Is that the week?
	Anyone else want to talk?
	Anyone else have anything to say?
	They have their own language.
	This is a space.
	Okay, you want to see an even worse one?
	Check out this one.
	That was the whole video you played, right?
	Yeah.
	It's the next one where I say they're retarded.
	Didn't number the links today.
	It's a problem when you're pooping yourself.
	Oh, he's still there, helping everyone out.
	Okay, if this was a high school presentation, you would get an F. Quick take making settlements with big banks and developers, trying to cover up the fraud.
	We dealt with numerous attorneys and boards in this particular jurisdiction, and we just recently discovered that there was a hush-hush agreement regarding one of the same defendants we had in our case.
	Did you agree to the hush-hush agreement as well?
	Defendants, mortgage electronic registration systems, which I'm sure everybody knows about.
	Like it's a clown show and they elected a clown for president.
	Elect.
	President-elect.
	Go to 22-2-2.
	This is a show I think I'm going to be on tomorrow night, Crazy Town.
	It's on America's Voice.
	It's a fun little show.
	Bunch of guys getting in there, kind of like the Wayne Dupree show.
	And this guy had a couple of Biden moments I hadn't seen before.
	I mean, this is what's so great.
	If Biden gets in, we are going to have so much fucking content.
	We are going to explode.
	You know how Fox News was made?
	Obama.
	Trump was not good for Fox.
	Obama, talking about Obama every day is what made Fox News.
	So we are going to have so much gorgeous, as my dad would say, gorgeous material.
	Go ahead, crazy.
	No, you're right.
	You got it, man.
	You know, and so there's just a, and, you know, it's a, I think I like a variety.
	I like a variety of music.
	And so for me, it goes all the way from, you know, dealing with folks like, you know, Celine Deon, who's not doing much right now.
	She's starting in a big way.
	All the way to, you know, listening to some hip-hop artists.
	And by the way, fuck you up before you go on stage.
	Like, everybody has that one song before you go on stage.
	You're going to kill them to kind of get you up and ready.
	There's a bunch.
	One of the ones I like is that, you know, I can't even say.
	What I like is that the song, You're the Best.
	Right.
	And I like it because it reminds me of my wife.
	And so, you know, I just like just...
	Is there a song, You're the Best?
	There's We the Best, DJ Khaled.
	Don't bother looking it up right now.
	Let's keep going.
	You're the best.
	Look at Cynthia Johnson.
	Look at Biden.
	Look at that Antifa press conference and see what we're up against.
	And then we have a media trying to convince everyone that these people know what they're doing.
	Go to 2.5.
	Hunter Biden did nothing wrong.
	He's on the front page of every newspaper being investigated by the IRS.
	But there's no evidence.
	No evidence whatsoever.
	To deal in fact, because there is so much speculation out there, and there is zero evidence that Hunter Biden or Joe Biden did anything wrong here.
	We should note, again, and you and I have said this in the air many times, there is no evidence that Joe Biden was involved in any wrongdoing.
	Of course, I want to note that there is no evidence that Joe Biden or Hunter Biden has done anything wrong.
	I just want to reiterate.
	And let's be clear for the viewers.
	There is no evidence Biden did anything wrong.
	I'll note again because it's important.
	There is no, I repeat, no.
	There is no evidence that either Biden did anything illegal.
	There's been no evidence.
	There was no evidence.
	There's no evidence.
	There is no evidence.
	There is not an iota of evidence.
	No evidence that Biden did anything wrong.
	There's really no evidence that Joe Biden did anything wrong.
	Nobody's ever accused that.
	I mean, there's no evidence whatsoever that Joe Biden did anything wrong.
	Got that?
	Joe Biden did nothing wrong.
	Hunter Biden did nothing wrong.
	Biden secret emails.
	A really fishy story.
	The Post claimed that the emails were found on a laptop computer that was brought to a repair shop in Delaware in the spring of 2019.
	The FBI is now investigating whether those alleged Hunter Biden emails are actually connected to a larger foreign intelligence operation.
	They may be related to a foreign intelligence operation.
	Foreign intelligence operation.
	Foreign intelligence.
	Foreign intelligence operation.
	Foreign intelligence operation.
	For all we know, these emails are made up.
	The information found on the laptop may be part of a Russian disinformation campaign.
	I've had enough of politics.
	And I have a million other examples of the footage of the fights in D.C. Should we be showing all that?
	I mean, do we care?
	It's pretty much what you thought it would be.
	It's Proud Boys going in there and kicking the shit out of Antifa because they've had enough of Antifa burning down the city.
	And the cops are not doing their jobs.
	So look, go to 30, 30.
	That's sort of, there's a thread there that I think sums it all up.
	He starts out, you can see it's the morning, and he just goes bananas all day.
	Let me see.
	So it was really just the Million MAGA March from the previous week, but with street fights at night and predators stabbing Proud Boys.
	Go down?
	I like these threads because they give you sort of a chronological feel of the day.
	Keep going.
	All right.
	Trump flew by in a helicopter.
	Yeah, right after they did the national anthem.
	Which is cool.
	The time was immaculate.
	And that couldn't have been planned.
	Keep going.
	Hey, that's where I tripped that guy who punched the dude.
	Yeah.
	Wait a minute.
	This is the Million Mega March, isn't it?
	Yeah.
	November 14th.
	Yeah.
	This is the wrong thing.
	Oh, shit.
	That's why it was so hard to tell the difference.
	All right, so you got the idea.
	We could sit here and show 100 hours, but the truth is that the most major event at that rally was a guy hunting proud boys, stabbing four of them, and the media turning it into another example of white nationalism.
	Specifically, Elizabeth Elizade.
	We have very little Election Gate and COVID, but let's get through them.
	The bumpers might be more than the news.
	Election Gate, let's start with.
	So all I have for Election Gate is that we have example exhaustion.
	It's not Looking very good for us, folks.
	Texas got thrown out.
	But you keep hearing about today's the day.
	And our buddies on the inside told us that today is going to be fucking huge.
	Trump is going to have an alternate slate of electors to try to overturn the defeat.
	Forgive me for being a little jaded at this point.
	I think it's absolutely true the election was stolen, and it's looking like Biden will be walking into the White House.
	You're not a nice person.
	Just like I predicted, Houston Astros, we know they cheated.
	They won the World Series.
	But do you think today is going to be a big day?
	I mean, it's 8 p.m.
	I don't see anything happened.
	I haven't allowed myself to feel a defeat yet.
	Oh, you're still 100% that Trump's going into the...
	Not 100%, but it feels like, yeah, yeah.
	I haven't accepted defeat.
	I'm just saying I'm a little jaded, and it's looking a hell of a lot like it.
	Every breakthrough is faded into poopness.
	Let me see.
	Little books don't look good in this thing.
	Nay.
	But yeah, I'm not giving up by any means.
	But, you know, we used to remember Election Gate?
	Last week, we'd have like seven stories.
	Now we have one that says alternate electoral thing.
	And the only thing I have outside of that is people in my ear saying, dude, like all weekend, wait till you see Monday.
	Well, Monday's almost over and I haven't seen shit.
	Even Ron Ron Coleman on Twitter, he's like, it's going to be some shit.
	Oh, Ron Coleman?
	Yeah, when he says something.
	He's definitely way more inside than we are.
	Yeah, yeah.
	And people say that they're talking to officials in the highest places and it's going to be a messy 48 hours, but it's going to be good.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Waiting, waiting, and waiting.
	That's exciting.
	Yeah, I know.
	Believe me, you know who I want.
	Everybody knows what I'm saying is true.
	Exactly.
	Yes.
	Like this right here.
	This is Matt.
	Just had talks with individuals at the highest levels.
	This election is far from over.
	Buckle up.
	Things are about to get messy.
	Who is he?
	Click on him.
	Oh, Matt?
	I think he's like an American first guy.
	I've met him a couple times.
	Or maybe just once.
	So he's just a guy.
	A guy.
	Yeah.
	I need like someone whose wife is in the FBI or whose brother is a lawyer for Trump.
	I met a CIA guy.
	There's Enrique posing with the Proud Boy's bums.
	He says, fuck Antifa.
	He's loving all this.
	Yeah, he's great.
	Saying he got invited to the White House.
	That's awesome.
	All right, that's it.
	That's all we got for Election Date.
	Maybe some shit's going to happen overnight.
	We'll see.
	But let's jump over to our next segment, COVID.
	Also, if your language requires a paintbrush to write, your language sucks.
	Your language is stupid.
	Fucking Chinese.
	Chinese vibrant ghosting.
	Chinese asshole.
	Just kick your hands off my dog.
	That's our most racist bumper.
	Yes, he agreed.
	I got dumped when I lived in China, I lived in Taiwan.
	And folks at home, please stop saying that Taiwan is not part of China.
	Okay?
	You call me stupid?
	I lived there.
	I lived in China and in Taiwan.
	I'm aware of the debate.
	Taiwan's in China.
	Why don't you tell Trump to go tell China that Taiwan isn't in China?
	See how well that goes down.
	San Francisco rules.
	And when they say, they also give me shit for calling people in Taiwan Chinese, they say they're Taiwanese.
	No.
	When you live in Taiwan, they call the Taiwanese the Aboriginals.
	The people who were like the Ainu and the American Indians.
	They're called Taiwanese.
	Normal Chinese people in Taiwan, they call themselves Chinese.
	Okay?
	The Taiwanese are so fucking hot.
	You want to talk about a hot race?
	Look up Taiwan Aboriginal.
	Or just Smoke Show.
	It'll be...
	They're like Indian and Asian.
	I don't know what they are.
	Pretty cute, huh?
	Hello.
	Guessing that's what they sound like.
	Hello.
	Yeah.
	Hello.
	They got cool little outfits, too.
	Don't they?
	That's a fun outfit.
	I like your little look there.
	That's a child, but.
	I like your look.
	It's hard to tell the adults from the children.
	I like your little suits.
	Very youthful people.
	Look at this guy.
	Cotton outfits.
	Yeah, that kind of looks like the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
	I'm 58.
	I'm here to visit my great-grandson.
	All right.
	Sidetrack.
	This is just funny.
	San Francisco rules.
	This is not a joke.
	Tucker's laughing, but it's not a joke.
	In-person dating is no longer banned in San Francisco, okay?
	If that's fair.
	But you can only date outdoors and no double dates.
	Okay.
	And you have to wear a mask.
	You can't kiss.
	Actually, no, you can kiss, but only if you move in together.
	Like, how random is this shit?
	It sounds so fucking made up.
	Are you making these up as you go along, man?
	Yeah.
	It sounds like Cynthia Johnson with one of her opioid rants.
	And then the only other thing I have is Cuomo, who won an Emmy for pretending that he saved people's lives.
	And now he wins the Ted Kennedy Award.
	Wait, didn't Ted Kennedy murder someone?
	Oh, this is a joke.
	Is this a joke?
	I think so.
	Ted wins Ted Kennedy Award for handling coronavirus pandemic after policies killed thousands.
	Yeah, that's got to be it, right?
	Because Ted Kennedy murdered that woman.
	Okay, so all I have for that is two jokes.
	And it's time to move over to the Scrottle sack.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dead.
	Let's turn our eyes together.
	Let's make a let me touch it.
	Oh, I had a letter I really wanted to get to.
	I think this was sent to me personally, though.
	Poisonally.
	Ryan, shut up.
	He's a Japanese Puerto Rican boy vo shits himself.
	Hi, Gavin Ryan.
	See if this comes up.
	I was watching a history channel, Modern Marvels, from a few years back, that just came out on YouTube.
	It was about the history of the nut.
	Awesome enough.
	The documentary discussed the origins of peanut butter.
	It was not from George Washington Carver, as we've all heard and been taught in school, but from a doctor at the 1893 Chicago Exposition, similar to the World's Fair.
	In 1895, Dr. John H. Kellogg, the guy who made Americans get circumcised, it's not a religious thing here, outside of Jews.
	Kellogg and his brother, both old white men who patented peanut butter.
	Watch the included link, 1454 to 1611.
	Did you have that?
	Yeah, you forwarded it to me.
	Yeah, I was looking for it, and it's in my actual email.
	I've actually researched this myself, and it's actually pretty difficult to pinpoint the beginning of peanut butter, because you have Indian tribes smushing peanuts a long-ass time ago.
	Peanuts became commonplace.
	There really is no invention of peanut butter.
	But peanut butter didn't emerge until the late 1890s.
	Sort of.
	And contrary to popular belief, it was not invented by George Washington Carver.
	Chicken.
	That guy looks like a chicken.
	Carver's pioneering peanut research, especially the process known as nitrogen fixation, made peanuts a truly viable crop for southern farmers.
	And Carver is rightly credited with devising hundreds of additional uses for peanuts.
	Peanut ink.
	Just not peanut butter.
	He invented peanut rubber?
	Instead, a Midwestern doctor.
	He does that every day.
	Peanut butter at the 1893 Chicago Express.
	Selling it as a healthy resource for patients.
	All right.
	Pretty much every time I look up a black inventor or something, it's not true.
	Which I know that sounds racist, but it's just a fact.
	And the thing that I resent about that is I'm being taught something that's untrue in order to further some kind of political agenda.
	So you're making my kids dumber.
	Stop lying.
	It also gives me a burden.
	I have to sit there with my kids' homework and go through and tell them what's a lie and what's true.
	You know, my daughter is doing these furrier series functions where it's like f is to x as, and it's three different options for what the variable x will be.
	I'm like, honey, I got to go to YouTube for an hour and learn this before I can help you with it.
	And I did, and it took me forever.
	I'm thinking, you're 14.
	There's no way she's using this ever.
	What the hell is it?
	Frequency?
	Oh, it's so fucking complicated.
	The functions and the frequence.
	It's the most complicated.
	If you saw it, it looks like the kind of thing that's on the blackboard of a beautiful mind.
	Hey guys, check out this new Sidney Powell interview.
	Very revealing.
	Dominion control of worldwide elections since 2004.
	Ballots coming from China and Mexico border.
	Hillary used to screw Bernie Sanders, and when he was told about it, he sold out instead of outing it.
	Everything from shredding ballots to wiping machines and replacing servers.
	All these machines should have been impounded the day after the election and reviewed for forensic analysis.
	Joining us today is Attorney Sidney Powell, who has been leading election lawsuits in multiple states.
	On Friday, she filed emergency requests to the Supreme Court asking the justices to order officials in Georgia, Michigan, Wisconsin, and Airbnb.
	That's interesting.
	He already gave us a summary.
	I'm sorry, I have to look up that Ted Kennedy thing because in Clown World, just like the Babylon Bee had to start a thing called Not the Babylon Bee.
	Wait, it's real.
	No.
	It's real.
	It is odd enough that Edward M. Kennedy Institute would give an award for inspired leadership, considering the Institute's namesake left a woman to die in a sinking car and shirked responsibility for her death.
	It is his institute, and they can give whatever award they want.
	So it's kind of perfect that Andrew Cuomo has received such an award, considering his handling of the coronavirus.
	That's not a joke.
	First of all, the fact that there's a Ted Kennedy award is amazing.
	But the fact that they gave it to another, a fellow murderer.
	Wow.
	This is a punchline decades in the making.
	Wow, yeah.
	No, trust me, it'll be funny in the future.
	American politics is a joke.
	Yeah, it literally is.
	In these difficult times, some cuts may be necessary.
	Someone sends us in a fun meme.
	Are people still sending memes to Max and John?
	We still have that at the end of every show, right?
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, send stuff to Max and John.
	Don't mention Proud Boys.
	Don't mention Antifa.
	Don't mention any information about any other prisoners.
	Keep it light.
	Keep it silly.
	Keep it non-prison related.
	All people talk about in prison is prison.
	And this is Christmas.
	And so this is Christmas.
	I believe there's three images per letter.
	Remember that?
	Oh, yeah.
	Yep.
	I don't know if they need memes.
	I think Max asking for memes was his way of saying, just send me funny shit and I don't want to hear like, this is Pulsman and all that kind of stuff.
	Clean drop of a Chinese guy at a sex robot convention saying, suck my dick, in Atheism is Unstoppable's recent It's Almost Time to Have Sex with the Unkenny Valley.
	And what is the time code?
	429.
	Oh.
	That sounds like a lot of work for you to dig up.
	Could be.
	Let's see here.
	429.
	I think I got it.
	Oh, okay.
	Quaint.
	Suck my pit.
	Okay.
	Well, I don't know.
	We usually don't go that vulgar.
	It's usually have to have some kind of like cinematic.
	I've always said sex dolls that aren't given as an inflatable thing at a bachelor party is a joke.
	The idea of an actual sex doll, it hurts my chest.
	I feel so sad for the guy.
	And I try not to think about them, but do they talk?
	Imagine they talk to it.
	You like that?
	Yeah?
	You like that?
	You dirty hoe?
	You're so dirty.
	Oh, yeah.
	You like that cock?
	I can't hear you.
	Yeah.
	You're my little girl.
	Does he say things to you from another room?
	Like, okay, I'll be right in.
	God, you're obsessed with me.
	Does he beat her?
	Where the fuck have you been all day?
	And she's just like...
	I wonder if you could...
	Yeah, that's good.
	I wonder if one and her in an abusive relationship.
	What The fuck?
	I come home.
	I come home to no dinner.
	I'm working my ass.
	And she's just like, maybe he breaks her.
	Oh, fuck, I broke her neck.
	Oh, sorry.
	I love you.
	He buries her.
	He's like, that was expensive.
	Now he becomes a necrophiliac and fucks dead body.
	And he's got a secret, but nobody cares.
	And then someone comes over and they see her, and he thinks, he's so gone in the fantasy that he thinks someone just saw a dead body.
	A dead body.
	So then he kills them.
	Right, yeah.
	And then he is drugged for a murder.
	That's a black mirror.
	A yellow mirror.
	That fucking woman, the Vigilante, who I still don't know how to pronounce that, by the way.
	Vigilante?
	Let's look that up.
	That should be a movie.
	Wouldn't that be a cool movie?
	And it would be a movie where you're seeing a chick do badass stuff, and it's realistic.
	It's not Charlie's Therone doing fucking windmill kicks and roundhouse.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Vigilante.
	Vigilante?
	Vigilante.
	Vigilante?
	I thought it was Vigilante.
	Vigilante?
	Are you sure, pronouncer?
	Vigilante.
	Vigilante.
	I don't want to sound like an asshole being Mr. Spanish pants.
	Right.
	There's a lot of vigilantes in there.
	A lot of them are Latino.
	Yep.
	That is annoying.
	There's so many Latino vigilantes in Nicaragua.
	They're all saying it, though.
	They all sound Hispanic when they say it, too.
	Anyway.
	Dear Gavin, Gary's little dildoo.
	Does Gary put you up his ass?
	No, he didn't.
	That's what I was going to say to Milo about living with a black guy.
	I was going to be like, dude, if I was gay, Ryan would be a big dick for me.
	I would only date Asian newborns.
	The Taiwan natives that we stumbled across.
	I mean, if I have a large poo, I'm decapitated.
	I was going to say decapitated.
	My head falls off.
	I'm incapacitated.
	I noticed this protester from the Dusty Bogan on Saturday night.
	Did our forefathers miss the mark?
	Perhaps a constitutional amendment is in order?
	Please discuss.
	And it says, outlaw Satan's circumcision, genital mutilation.
	I agree with him.
	No bloody circumcisors.
	Yeah.
	It was made by the Kellogg's guy.
	It's an evil practice.
	The baby doesn't feel it.
	Oh, really?
	Why is there a circumcision tray where the baby's arms are strapped, legs strapped, head strapped?
	I would probably go insane if I had to circumcise kids all day.
	They scream at the top of their lungs.
	This guy sent us another good jam.
	There's nothing in the email.
	It's like my mom.
	Dear Gavin19 and Ryan Batsu Prevera.
	I came across this footage of Irish punks and skinheads in 1980.
	Thought you might enjoy it.
	An intentional comic width at the 535 mark.
	Oh, these are sh.
	They seek him here.
	They seek him there.
	You know, you wouldn't stand there and walk away, would you?
	You dress in a way that is.
	We dress in a way that we feel that we want to dress, you know?
	It's an image, you know what I mean?
	So we just following an image, you know what I mean?
	So you're trying to tell me that you're not really as bad as you look?
	I'm not as bad as I look.
	Ireland.
	You know what I mean?
	Check the head.
	Are you giving your veneers something funny at five?
	Yeah, that was the mark there.
	Five round, though.
	Hey, cameraman, can you fucking stand back a little bit, please?
	I don't need to see people's nostrils.
	That's not my skin heads.
	But skinheads are different from everybody else.
	Skinheads are just there for violence.
	That's all.
	Pokemon to change the subject violence.
	I don't like the size of the way it is.
	Skinheads just want to kick up around and kick everybody's heads if we don't.
	So you're not into it going on?
	No, no, just like we don't start any fights, but if someone kicks on us, we'll fight back.
	That should have been the drop.
	Yeah.
	We don't start any fights.
	Okay, you fook around, you find out.
	Hey, G-Dog and Rice Man, did I tell you how to fight with Joey at the pub?
	Yeah.
	Did we talk about it on the show?
	No.
	So he's got dumped by this girl.
	He goes, yeah, yeah, she didn't call me back in a long time.
	You know, I'm getting kind of worried.
	I go, yeah, you should be worried.
	You're dumped.
	Well, she won't pick up the phone.
	And then I text, she doesn't respond.
	Well, have you fucked her?
	No, I can't because I'm staying in a house.
	Actually, someone else told me he's staying in a house that this woman rents a room to, but she won't let him bring guests over.
	I go, what?
	What are you doing there, dude?
	You're a grown man.
	She dumped you because you didn't fuck her.
	Or because she got to know you.
	And then the barmaid laughed at that.
	And then I came up with probably the best line I've ever come up with.
	I go, it must hurt to be dumped by someone who's clearly so perceptive.
	And then I was laughing my ass off at my own joke.
	And I go take a piss.
	And then I come back and he goes, hey, did I tell you my daughter Odid on Xenix?
	And I just fucking lost it.
	When he said he was a Marine nurse, he never said it to me, but I heard him saying it.
	That pissed me off because the Marines don't have nurses.
	It's a division of the Navy.
	They have their own doctors.
	The Navy does.
	Also, if you're a nurse, we're in a pandemic.
	Why are you here?
	Shouldn't you be busting your ass?
	And he also complains about his neck.
	Well, go to the VA.
	Oh, yeah, I should look into that.
	Every vet has the word VA tattooed on the inside of their eyeballs.
	Then he says his grandson's on a ventilator, which is a fucked up lie.
	Because we knew this guy who was like one of the top COVID dudes in Arizona where his grandson allegedly is.
	Said, oh, we'll have him check on him.
	We can help you out.
	He's like, oh, no, no, don't.
	Oh, because it's a fucking lie.
	And I had said to myself, I'm not going to lose my shit unless he lies to me.
	I have a daughter.
	My number one fear, more than pregnancy, honestly, is opioids.
	They're dropping like flies, rich, poor.
	Fentanyl is killing fucking firemen and rich kids and poor kids.
	It's just a what is it now?
	120 a day are dying from opioids or Xanax or other related things that are like opioids.
	It's not a joke.
	So I take a direct offense to that.
	And I just fuck off, Joey.
	Oh, it's okay.
	You don't believe me?
	I go, I don't believe you because you're lying.
	Then I went through all the other lies.
	And then you can't sit.
	That's the problem with getting mad.
	When I get mad, I can't get unmad.
	So then I was just, she's like, you want another drink?
	I go, I can't.
	I'm fucking mad at Joey now for bullshitting me about some made-up daughter.
	I don't know if he has one.
	He's like, okay.
	By the way, why aren't you down there?
	Why didn't you get on a plane if your daughter fucking OD'd?
	So I just, I paid my bill.
	I said, thank you for your service to him and walked out of the bar.
	But I haven't seen him since.
	You didn't show him your...
	There's a struggle there.
	It's a hard face to do.
	Yeah, you got to get the glasses out of there for sure.
	Okay, last one, because we're out of time.
	Hey, G-Dog and Rice Man, this refugee from Syria here in Germany made a video where he asked Germans to kiss the Quran so they would get iPhones.
	You can guess what they decided to do.
	Does that really bother you?
	I think in a rebel video you put Germany in the non-shithole category.
	I guess you have to update that list.
	At first, I got pretty mad at the retard making this video, but it is an interesting social experiment.
	I don't think it is.
	You're 20?
	Like, they're not converting to Islam.
	And if you don't give a shit about the Quran, which I do, and you're 20 years old, you want an iPhone, you'll sure say a stupid thing.
	This is not interesting.
	Okay, it's time for the final video.
	Here's an interesting thing that just happened.
	I just got a call from my favorite steakhouse.
	Ooh.
	Keene's Chop House.
	Anyway, they're probably calling me to tell me that my reservation has been canceled because indoor dining is canceled.
	Could be an interesting little moment of the show.
	Okay, this is a really weird video.
	Not weird because it's a pretty normal video, but I heard about this on the radio this morning, a normal FM radio, and I thought, why the fuck would you have a final video, viral video thing, on your radio show?
	So it's three hosts laughing and describing this.
	And they describe it really badly.
	They say she has to go up a hill.
	It's not really a hill.
	You should have mentioned the cobblestone streets.
	You should have mentioned that it's covered in ice.
	You should have mentioned that it's in, what, Kiev in Russia?
	Is that where Kiev is?
	Kiev is in Ukraine.
	Ukraine.
	So it's on a slope, so most people just ski off it.
	But the problem is if you want to go the opposite way, you're out of luck.
	Like that woman with the backpack.
	She's probably got a lot of books in there, too.
	And women tend to be not great at this kind of thing, at least in my experience.
	There you go.
	Okay, here.
	Let me get you up there.
	And there you go.
	And just get up.
	Stick to crawling.
	Yeah.
	I like how no one's helping her because they can't.
	If you don't have a rope, you're on your own.
	There you go.
	Crawling's working.
	That's for you.
	Yeah.
	That's it.
	Great.
	Don't get up.
	Don't get up.
	I've been there.
	What do you mean?
	That area?
	No.
	This is kind of your entire life.
	The society zone.
	This is Ryan's autobiography.
	This is bringing back memories from this morning.
	This is bringing back memories from the day I was born until right now.
	100% of memory just brought back.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

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