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Nov. 2, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:35:30

S03E32 - JAMES BOND IS DEAD [2020-11-02 - S03E32 - JAMES BOND IS DEAD]

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	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Kevin McGuinness.
	She know I'm a bad boy.
	Tryna make a lot of noise.
	Riding with the big boys.
	Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	She know I'm a bad boy.
	Tryna make a lot of noise.
	Riding with the big boys.
	I'm mushing first soldier.
	Loza Alexander, fucking up the narrative.
	African-American gentleman singing about being a proud boy.
	I was looking at the comments on YouTube and they're like, well, this isn't helping the narrative.
	It's a very hard video to find, by the way.
	Why do you think that is, Trump?
	I will build a great, great wall.
	I'm starting to know these now.
	There's like five, right?
	I feel like there's more than that.
	Well, you say there's five, so that's probably not true.
	That's the way I judge things now.
	But I was just watching this comedian, terrible comedian, doing a set in Seattle.
	His name is What the hell is his name here?
	Uh-oh, I lost it.
	Jason McBride.
	The title of the clip is I Just Flew In From a Trump Rally.
	Well, the actual video on YouTube is desperate for my father's attention.
	Anyway, in it, Ryan, who just stank up the whole studio with his shit, so I'm already annoyed by him.
	So he goes, I just flew in from a Trump rally, and boy, are my arms tired.
	And he's Zeke Heiles.
	Ryan couldn't see it, but he could just hear it.
	And he says, God, our internet sucks today.
	And he says, he should have at least done a Zeke Heil or something.
	And I go, he did.
	And then I said, well, if he didn't, then it's just, I just flew in from a Trump rally, and boy, are my arms tired.
	And Ryan goes, yeah, that's what I thought he said.
	I'm like, that's a chicken cross the road.
	You think there'd be no update to that joke besides it's a Trump rally?
	And then he starts arguing.
	Well, he had another joke that was about coal up the butt, and that he didn't have much of a twist on.
	And I'm like, that's the most retarded thing I've ever heard.
	Like, the fact that you think that his joke could have been just as simple as, I just flew in from a Trump rally and boy, are my arms tired with no Ezeke Island, just that, the joke.
	It boggles the mind.
	I hope.
	My only hope is you're just being stubborn because you're an asshole and you don't really believe your argument.
	I didn't see that.
	I know you didn't see that, you boob.
	So, well, that was the beginning of what I'm going to say to you.
	I just explained that.
	Right.
	So you're just repeating what I just explained.
	So I had heard him before this.
	Yes.
	And his comedy is very bad.
	Ryan.
	You're very dumb.
	I don't put that.
	Your words are bad if you think that he would say, I just flew in from a Trump rally.
	And boy, are my arms tired.
	And that's the joke.
	In the 70s, that's when the joke, he's so tightly wound you could put a piece of coal up his ass and it'll turn into a diamond.
	And what exactly did he say with that?
	Show it.
	The only thing he changed was Seattle rich.
	That's how they're rich.
	Yeah.
	That's terrible.
	But that's the change.
	The change.
	So he said, and I think there's even more than that.
	But he said, people in Seattle are so tightly wound, their asses are tied and they make a diamond with coal, and that's why they're rich.
	He was also banking on you not knowing that joke.
	But everyone knows I just flew in and boy in my arms tired.
	So one was stealing a joke.
	The other was the chicken crossed the road.
	Do you think he would ask why the chicken crossed the road and then say to get to the other side?
	This guy stinks, yes.
	No.
	They say people in Seattle, you know, people in Seattle have a lot of money.
	And that's because, you know, a person in Seattle could take a coal and shove it up your ass and in 24 hours have a diamond.
	That's how they do it.
	You expect more out of that guy?
	I'm not saying...
	That's different.
	He's stealing a joke that he hopes you haven't heard of it.
	Exactly.
	Yeah, but that's not Boy Are My Arms Tired.
	No, that's a...
	Boy Are My Arms Tired is the chicken cross the road.
	Yeah, I don't know.
	I just don't put it past him.
	I'm not saying it's a quality joke.
	We're not saying any of that.
	I'm telling you, no one on the planet Earth would ever say, I just flew in from somewhere and boy are my arms tired.
	All right, well, without any update.
	On planet Earth, I just found out there's a guy who steals a cold diamond joke.
	Yeah, I don't think I've heard that cold diamond joke before.
	What?
	You haven't heard that before?
	No, I don't think so.
	I don't believe you.
	I don't lie ever.
	I think you're lying.
	I never lie.
	Can we ask Trump at least to lie?
	I never lie if he doesn't say that.
	See, this is why you're stupid.
	Because when you do something dumb, you can't go, oh yeah, fuck, that was dumb.
	You keep defending it and trying to come up with this ridiculous, pathetic argument.
	And that's why your brain never learns.
	Like, you came to my house on Saturday and bored all my guests with how you're better than Jimi Hendrix as a guitarist for, I'd say, half an hour non-stop.
	No, when you went in, I didn't start up the conversation.
	No.
	You weren't even there.
	How would you know?
	No, I'm talking about before that you would not fucking shut up.
	Then why did he bring it up again?
	I didn't bring it up again.
	I don't give a shit if you brought it up again.
	You talked for way too long about how you're better at guitar.
	Can you imagine, folks at home, anything more embarrassing than someone coming to your home and telling your guests that you're better than Jimi Hendrix?
	I've been talking about it for a long time.
	And then another thing he brought that up when he's drunk, because he can't break down the enzymes, is he talks about how cute he was in school when he's a little kid and tells you funny little cute anecdotes about little baby Ryan that happened on Friday?
	You said, yeah, it was like when I was in school, we were talking about AM FM, and I said, it's easy to remember: FM is later on the doll because it comes later in the alphabet.
	That was under the subject of talking about embarrassing, stupid things and talking about retarded stupid things.
	It's so embarrassing the thing you said when you were eight.
	Oh my God, how embarrassing.
	How adorable and embarrassing.
	That was like bed talk with your girlfriend, but you're saying it to adults.
	It's the same thing you were on.
	You were on the same subject.
	Oh, really?
	What did I say about some retarded kid that you used to hang out with and you would say stupid?
	It was on topic.
	What?
	There was a retarded kid in your group.
	Right?
	No, I was talking about how when we were young, we would have weirdos in the group.
	And this was adults like Paul Cahius, the Greek tragedy.
	A Greek adult who was talking about.
	And then you talked about it.
	When I was a little kid, I said FM is later on in the alphabet.
	I'm better at guitar than Jimi Hendrix.
	That's what happened.
	And the guy in Led Zupplin.
	I believe you called him Jim Page.
	Jim Page, yeah.
	I'm better than Jim Page.
	Fun subjects with Ryan Patsy Rivera.
	And we're not talking about songwriting.
	That's subjective.
	See, now he's getting back into it.
	Now he wants to tell you how great he is.
	Because everybody's going to be like, you think you're better than Jimmy Page?
	If your only argument for you're not better than Jimmy Page is because it's Jimmy Page.
	It's a gay subject, dude.
	You brought it up.
	Every subject you, I know, you just came at this dumb bullshit notion about, boy, are my arms tired.
	And I'm telling you how you never get better because you're so stubborn that you just go, no, I'm right.
	It was a good thing I did.
	That's a good theory I had.
	So that's how you not learn.
	It's like a brick wall of shit.
	You know, we were talking about the autistic kid.
	Yes.
	And saying stupid things.
	And I was like, I said something stupid once.
	Yeah, when you were a little kid.
	You brought up when you were a kid, too.
	What did I bring up when I was a kid?
	Autistic kids.
	When I was in a, was I an autistic kid?
	I don't know.
	Were you?
	You were in a slow class, as I was as well.
	That's, again, wildly off topic.
	We were talking about it.
	Anyway, you retarded.
	That's the long and short of it.
	So here's a fun book, Book of the Day, A Brief History of Vice.
	I bought this because I thought someone was stealing my life story.
	But it's from the guy, I think his name's Robert Evans.
	What's his name again?
	Yeah.
	He was a cracked editor in the early aughts when cracked was kind of silly and actually a vice rip-off.
	And it's really just a compendium of silly stories about like Aztecs doing fucking opioids and, you know, the Stonehenge guys high on mushrooms.
	So it's another good, fun bathroom book that you don't have to finish from beginning to end.
	My favorite part of this is when he went to Mexico, I've told you this story a hundred times, but he brought a little thing of whiskey.
	And every time he had water or brushed his teeth or anything, he would just go, not to get drunk, but just to get whiskey in his mouth.
	And everyone there had explosive diarrhea, and he was perfectly fine the whole time he was there.
	Which is why, in olden times, we'd feed kids beer, and we didn't have clean water in New York until, I don't know.
	Hey, computer, when did we get clean water in New York?
	Is she unplugged?
	Here's something I found on the web.
	According to atwarfits.com, in the middle of that fountain, her wings spread wide, stood the angel of the waters erected in 1842 to celebrate the arrival of clean water to New York.
	Oh.
	When was that?
	1842?
	Yep.
	Okay.
	So before 1842, horse shit everywhere.
	And you couldn't drink water because you'd get exposed to it.
	So they'd have booze.
	Now the kids drank beer, but it was very, very weak beer.
	I don't know, like 2%.
	But everyone was shit-faced.
	And it was healthy for them.
	So I remember one time we were in Manhattan, and my youngest boy, Johnny, he was probably four at the time.
	He took the poll on the New York City subway.
	I went, I went, my God, my God.
	And I wished I had a flask.
	Of course, he got deathly ill after that, with super sick, high fever for three days.
	But he did something else later, and I did have whiskey on me.
	And I go, you got it.
	Let me rub some on your gums.
	And he goes, no, no.
	And I put some on my finger and I rubbed it on his gums.
	And he went, ah, and he went to my wife and he said, dad burned me with his bourbon.
	He burned my lips.
	Anyway, we've got a jam-packed show today.
	Tomorrow, Milo's going to be in studio in the green room, in the green screen room, sorry.
	And we're going to go through.
	I don't know when we'll start.
	I think 8, right?
	I mean, most TV shows are starting at 4.
	I assume we're not going to know till 1.
	I'm not going 4 to 1.
	It would just be a shitty show at that point.
	So we're going to start at 8, 8 E.T. Eastern Time.
	We're going to call Cumia and Enrique Tario and try to get Crowder on the line.
	We'll put together a list of people to check in on.
	And we all know Trump's going to win.
	We will be celebrating with you, Poppin' Champagne.
	I hope it's not sticky after.
	I don't want my desk to be sticky.
	And we'll have a gay old time.
	There's not going to be a President Donald Trump.
	Check our doodles, by the way.
	Those are getting forgotten.
	Or maybe everyone who wants one has one?
	I meant to put that in the notes.
	I just flew in from the notes, and boy, are my arms tired.
	Ooh, we're watching Brian on his quest to get a link.
	What the fuck is with our internet?
	That's a 56k modem.
	Look at this.
	Should we re- Well, we can't.
	We've already started recording, but maybe we should restart the plugin.
	There we go.
	Okay, so where are we at?
	So click on a thing.
	Three days.
	And what's that sucker up to?
	120.
	No, no, I was probably talking about that other one you were on before.
	Yeah.
	800.
	800.
	Now, I don't think people get how big it is.
	Well, I can show you.
	I'll be shipping this to you.
	Not rolled up.
	With this stiff wood there?
	I mean, maybe I could roll it up.
	Could I?
	No, no, it's no stiff board.
	So it's a very high-quality piece of art here.
	This isn't like a shitty sketch.
	I'll write something on the back in pencil.
	Is that what you do?
	People say, can you sign it too?
	I'm like, really?
	You want me to sign someone else's art?
	I mean, I'll do whatever you want.
	To make money for Zenoma.
	I think his new one with me and Hunter is what got me banned from Instagram.
	That's the only thing I could think that I posted.
	He made one with Hunter Biden, Joe Biden, and me.
	And he even took it down.
	Show yourself or show the screen.
	So he took it down.
	Yeah.
	So now showing Hunter Biden is grounds to get you executed.
	Not even a picture.
	It's a painting.
	You can't draw Hunter Biden.
	Wow.
	I'm just amazed that everyone can swallow this shit whole.
	Like the left, I'm impressed.
	They're North Koreans.
	My wife's best friend dumped her this weekend.
	And it's like, the problem when your wife is really sad is men are logical.
	So I'm like, well, that's bullshit.
	Tell her to fuck off.
	And then if she has an argument, I could explain why she's wrong, blah, blah, blah.
	But I think the beef, oh, it is up.
	It's in culture.
	Oh.
	I think the beef is that she lives with a Trump supporter.
	She doesn't like Trump.
	She's not political, really.
	She's a lib.
	But because she tolerates me, they can no longer be friends.
	And I'm just like, what about the riots?
	What about the riots?
	What about the laptop?
	What about Ukraine?
	I really don't follow it, honestly.
	I'm confused.
	But yeah, she's got family members dumping her, her best friend, dumping her.
	And yeah, what I meant to say with the thing about consoling her is I'm just like, can you call your female friends?
	This is inefficient.
	Talking to your husband for three hours, you could do to an old friend, like you've known about the same amount of time as the friend who dumped you.
	You could do it in one hour.
	So it takes three times as long for us to console you.
	Happy to do it, of course.
	But shit, they just got to talk to their female friends.
	And you got to realize when someone dumps you for something as stupid as being married to a Trump supporter, you're just like, well, fuck you.
	It's like finding out the person you have a crush on is a pedophile.
	All right, well, I don't have a crutch on you anymore.
	It's done.
	Like when John Glazier texted me and said, I think we've come to that time in the friendship that you knew was coming.
	This is in 2015, by the way, before Trump won.
	And I go, pardon?
	And he goes, Trump.
	And then I was just like, bye.
	Like, there's no tears shed.
	If it was something that I believed passionately about and they were like a crusader against it, then that would be like, oh, man.
	But even then, you go, I'm not changing my views.
	Like my buddy Tony Buzcock, who said, I said, obviously, if you're coming over, you rescue pit bulls for a living.
	Not for a living, but regularly.
	He said, don't bring the pit bulls over.
	Johnny is like pit bull height.
	He's like, fuck you, you Scottish cunt.
	And that was the end of our friendship.
	But when that happened, I just sort of was like, bye.
	What should you do?
	Should I do a damn compromise and let you bring rescued pit bulls to my home where my five-year-old is at their same eye height?
	Ain't nobody got time for this.
	I got to kill my kids to be your friend?
	No, thanks.
	I mean, I kind of like that analogy too, because it says, it's that kind of thing when people have these incredible stakes.
	Like with my wife, what is she supposed to do?
	Divorce me?
	I think her friend thinks that I'm this like tyrant, you know, the kind they depict in the media.
	And I'm like, like say my daughter gets a scholarship to MIT to study engineering.
	I'm like, hell no, you're going to be in the kitchen.
	You may not.
	Even if I was that psycho, my daughter would just say, okay, Dad, and go to MIT.
	And my wife would obviously not stand in her way.
	Like they're fucking brainwashed by the handmaid's tail.
	And as my wife was talking to her friends, one of the chicks, yes, broads can have smart theories, came up with a theory that bowled me over.
	You know, in cartoons where their feet are going out of the frame?
	I just, when I heard it, I went, that's fucking brilliant.
	Now, she's not a Trump supporter, but her dad's married to one or something.
	And she goes, there's a certain kind of woman, a certain kind of chick, and Trump represents the guy in high school who rejected her.
	And so it brings back all this visceral feeling of being an outcast.
	And it works with men too, in the sense that we were going through a real strong beta epoch where Michael Sarah was really cool, even though he talks like an intrigued Mickey Mouse.
	Oh, I never thought.
	This is fun.
	So you see it with males too, where they've been dethroned.
	But with the women, it's much deeper.
	That's why they're so irrational about it.
	And you can present evidence that contradicts everything they're saying.
	And they're just like, fuck him, he's stupid.
	They have a meltdown.
	And first, let's establish the truth that he is that kind of guy who in high school would start a club like Anthony Kumiya did called the Itty Bitty Titty Committee, right?
	And we heard him on that recording going, I'm not going to work with a fucking penthouse model.
	I only use Playboy models in my ads.
	Fucking penthouse model?
	So even within superstar tens, he's like, no, penthouse is below Playboy.
	And I've also heard him say on Stern, a woman can't be a 10 if she has no tits or very small tits.
	Yeah, that was supposed to be a joke, right?
	Believe me, and I am always right.
	So that's established.
	And most of us go, and pretty girls obviously don't care because it didn't really affect their lives.
	And that's why MAGA women are so much prettier than liberal women.
	And that's why you had that stupid pussy march.
	And you'll notice when someone really hates Trump, it's mostly women.
	And what do these women have in common?
	To call them fat and ugly is doi.
	That's just petty.
	They're unorthodox.
	Like if a woman is really short, or she's like 6'6, or she has kind of angular jaw.
	She grew up through high school.
	Like, we've learned to appreciate them now.
	Now we kind of like weird shit.
	But in high school, you're just like, supermodel, please.
	You don't get one, but that's your mode.
	And there's all these sort of, well, let's call them non-conventional beauties being like looking in the mirror, feeling like shit, looking at magazines, feeling like shit.
	They get over it when they're like 24, but in those formative years, it burns them alive.
	And here's Trump bringing them back to high school and saying, yeah, you'll never be a 10, no matter what you do.
	I won't love it, but I'll kiss.
	Isn't that brilliant?
	Yeah.
	That sums it up.
	And it's one of those penny drop theories where it just, all the cards start going, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop the dominoes fall.
	Everything just falls into place when she said that.
	Because I think of the woman, it's not just fat, ugly women.
	Fat, ugly women hate everything except food.
	This is like someone a little off, like with a weird eye, or her tits are too long, or her ass, she has no ass crack or something.
	Stuff that made their high school hell.
	He brings it all back.
	And that's why they're so irrational, so mad.
	And that's why they went so nuts with Grab the Pussy.
	Because to you and I, we're like, yeah, they do.
	If you're super famous, or even Larry Barnes was at the fight this weekend, which was an amazing fight.
	Fucking perfect uppercut knockout.
	And because he's in Mount Vernon, everyone recognizes him.
	There's a billboard there.
	So all these girls are flirting with him.
	And I was like, you could have done anything to those girls.
	They were calling me champ.
	It was Halloween.
	So they're dressed up sexy.
	And he goes, they could have.
	And then I don't think he knows the quote.
	I'm not sure.
	But I go, you could have grabbed them by the pussy.
	And he's like, you're right.
	It was crazy.
	So that's all he was saying, right?
	But they see that as, these fucking chicks, man, you can grab them by the pussy.
	And they're like, no one ever said that about me in high school.
	You know, cat calls are the worst thing in the world until the day they stop.
	These girls never got cat calls.
	Evie.
	Speaking of our opening song, I'm now starting the show.
	Loza Alexander, right?
	So KEXP, I've been listening to it for years.
	It's great for women like my wife.
	She wakes up in the morning.
	There's this guy, John in the Morning, John in the Morning.
	He plays the Pixies and deep cuts like the Velvet Underground or the undertones.
	And then you'll have modern hits, some indie band you never heard of before, or they're really into Courtney Barnett, that Australian girl.
	Oh, pseudo Ephedrin, give me all your money and I'll make some origami, honey.
	And it's alternative bands.
	That's the station.
	That's not racist.
	Hip-hop stations play hip-hop.
	What the fuck?
	And they would play hip-hop occasionally, but the genre was alternative.
	Now, and I've told you this before, John in the Mornings doesn't start till 10, which is not really the morning.
	Even if you're unemployed, by 10, like, you're on your way.
	You're doing your thing at that point.
	He starts at 10 now, and I'm sure they had a meeting at KXPs in Seattle.
	Our cities are burning because of racism, so we have to do something, you guys.
	And then someone puts up their hand and they go, why don't we get this cunt with a slightly Hispanic last name, like Mark Rivera or something?
	And he's white as can be.
	He's a Spaniard, but he's the most ethnic guy we got.
	And we'll just extend his, he would do the night shift when no one likes it.
	And now he just does his hip-hop up until 10.
	So my little boy is sitting by the Alexa eating his rice krispies.
	And this song comes blaring behind his head at our darling KEXP.
	Tell the world how you fuck with Mexicans.
	What beat are you at say without Mexicans?
	And at this time the team up shit let's begin.
	KEXP used to be a fun way to wake up in the morning with John in the morning.
	Now it's rappers yelling fuck Donald Trump again and again.
	This is KEXP appeasing the mob.
	And it's going great.
	Fuck Donald Trump.
	Isn't that pleasant?
	Didn't that guy die, Nipsey Hussle?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	He got murdered by fellow gangsters because he was showing off his money too much.
	Trump curse.
	It's real.
	Isn't that fucking shitty?
	And it never used to have curses before.
	Say cowboys were getting slaughtered by police on a daily basis.
	Not that black people are getting slaughtered by police on a daily basis.
	But say cowboys were.
	Would Hot 97 switch to country or have extend their country music from the night shift to the...
	Actually, Hot 97 would never play country ever.
	Besides that Old Town Road thing.
	But can you imagine like a black station changing their whole persona to appease another group?
	It's so fucking irritating.
	And I always sort of used the missus as a gauge because she's a lefty and she's like, I'm going to write them a letter.
	I never donated to anything before KEXP.
	You can show it, Ryan.
	You're not listening to the show.
	You're the engineer for the show.
	So KXP is dead to me.
	Look, what is it now?
	The MIDI show with Cheryl Waters?
	Midday show.
	MIDI show.
	It's just 8-bit music.
	That's like when I was at a restaurant with my dad, and you're most intimidated by your dad when you're about 21, because you start realizing that you were wrong and he was right.
	And I don't know, my brain wasn't working.
	And we're looking at the menu, and I go, I look at the top, I go, what's menu?
	And he goes, menu.
	And then I was like, I can't believe I thought I couldn't see the word menu.
	Some radio guy got fired for an incredibly racist rant.
	This is in sports.
	What was the fight this weekend?
	Why am I blanking on it?
	Sometimes names just...
	You're a 1-2, Ryan.
	I'm going in chronological order this show, so if you don't hear a number, just err on the side of that.
	So his name's Chad Dukes, which is a rough name.
	His employer said a racist inappropriate comment.
	So a racist comment is all blacks are inferior.
	They're the shitty race.
	They need to go back to Africa.
	Don't take that out of context.
	That's a horrible thing to say, right?
	That one group is all the same and it's a negative trait.
	That's what racism is.
	This is what he said.
	There are legitimate concerns that people have that have nothing to do with the fact that they're against people with bad skin tone.
	There's personal accountability issues.
	There's family structure issues.
	There's the fact that communities with more violence and crime need to be policed more so they have higher interactions with police officers.
	None of that can be spoken about.
	Isn't that?
	They always say that in the thing that gets them banned.
	They'll say, you can't say this.
	And then you discover that they're right.
	It's this person killed this person and now we burned down the city.
	And there's a lot of people that are smart enough to realize that there's a more nuanced conversation, but they're not allowed to talk about it.
	He's literally not allowed to talk about it.
	So what you're talking about is you're like, this is great.
	We're having a conversation.
	No, we're not.
	We're continuing to allow one group to speak and silencing the other one and castigating them.
	He says this shortly before he is silenced and castigated.
	And that's what Anthony always talks about.
	We need to have a conversation.
	Bullfucking shit.
	Conversation is a back and forth.
	Your idea of conversation is Chelsea Handler chastising 50 Cent for not hating Trump enough.
	Also in sports host news, I was in a bar looking up at the TV and I saw an alarming 10.
	Whoa!
	What's her name?
	Michelle Margot.
	These pictures are insulting.
	You ready for this?
	She's not photogenic.
	She's videogenic.
	Okay, this is the worst internet we've ever had.
	Is this because of the building is using the election?
	Don't cover her high heels with my stupid head.
	Always wearing stilettos.
	Bucking smoke show.
	Michelle Margot.
	Look her up.
	No.
	I hate when thumbnails aren't at the thing.
	That's not even close to what...
	Yeah.
	Go back to the Google images.
	Or sometimes, you know, when a bitch is famous, the best way to see her is in video.
	Does this count as simping?
	I don't know.
	I mean...
	It's hard to tell.
	Because there's like marveling at a woman's beauty.
	You should go to the engage one.
	Okay.
	Engage.
	Don't engage.
	I like video because you can see their face moving around when they talk and doing stuff like that.
	You get to see it.
	Once again, we've been gypped.
	Oh, here we go.
	Demo reel.
	Oh, demo reel is going to be good because she's okay to every image.
	Okay, move around face.
	Do a little dance.
	Because she's videogenic, not photogenic.
	That's a compliment to a chick.
	Look at that.
	The Raids are looking for the sweep today, but it will come at the tough task of facing two-way player Shohei Otani.
	Raised pitchers had to face him as a hitter, and now Raised hitters have to face him on the match.
	Brad, you let off this offense with a hump.
	You're watching out just foxy lady.
	Now, I checked out her Instagram, and there's some low-cut dresses where she may have shitty tits.
	And I think you come to a point with a woman like that where you go, we're good.
	I can get through this.
	It's sort of like I'm sure there's a guy where he's so awesome that even though he has a battery, a AA battery for a dick, you're like, when I'm hungry, I'll put it up my butt.
	Hey, you're cool.
	Oh, I don't know.
	See, this is another, that shit I'm doing right now where simping out on that sports host and rating girls out of 10.
	That's like what drives them nuts because they know they're fives.
	Oh, she's a lefty.
	Yeah.
	See, show some more pictures, and you might see the shit.
	Oh, that's a good one for videogenics.
	She looks way skinnier than before.
	With this massive amount of chest hair coming out of his pineapple shirt.
	There's so much to focus on here.
	I don't even know where to begin.
	So I don't know what.
	These women, when they're a sports host, are so good at self-promotion, eh?
	So show me the grid of picks.
	Go down, go down.
	Oh, show me the one with the tickets.
	And zoom in on the bazooms.
	Gotta zoom on the bazoom.
	Zoom on the bazooms.
	She's taken, guys.
	Can't you just sort of...
	Yeah.
	So those look like they may be, at least in the pancake family.
	Hmm.
	Or do you think they're like the attached for the most part and then the bottom lifts off and then it's a pointer?
	Hmm.
	Maybe, yeah, they're a little bit more seems to be protruding.
	To the low, like a low nipple, like a cigar, like a cigar, a cigarette boat.
	Cigarette boat.
	Those are fine, yeah.
	But let's let's because then that's easy.
	But say they're just like semi-pancake-ish and like 50% of the meat has been removed in an unfortunate car accident.
	Obviously, that's a nightmare, right?
	But if everything else is a 10, I think you just sort of go, alrighty, I gotta learn to fuck you with your bra on.
	You fuck me with your heels and your bra on.
	But you'd get over it.
	You're too zoomed in.
	This is the place you come to for the news.
	Also in the news, I was talking to a fireman today about a fire in Yonkers last night.
	Yonkers is just north of the Bronx.
	Dude, you know what this guy did?
	And you never hear this in the news.
	Journalism is dead.
	See, the old days, you'd know a guy.
	You'd be at City Hall, you'd go to Kelly's Irish Times in Washington, D.C., and you'd have a guy, and he'd have his bourbon, and he'd know that you're not going to rat him out.
	So he'd be like, you know, The real story in here is that the Russia gets a nothing burger and the Dems know it, but they want to extend it.
	He's like, oh.
	And then he's like, anonymous sausage, say?
	And you got a scoop.
	Ryan, what are you doing?
	Simping out on her fucking Instagram.
	I'm looking for confirmed pancakes, but I could stop.
	Yeah, we're off to a new topic now.
	Whoa, what are those?
	She smashed them together, so it's she smashed the subscribe, so it's really hard to tell.
	But investigation over for now.
	I think it's permanently over.
	That's when you get into the simp zone.
	Detroit Tigers, hey?
	Hmm.
	Like, simping is when you pine for her and you wish she could be your lady.
	But just appreciating beauty is like, wish you nothing but the best.
	Hope you get married and have kids.
	I don't genuinely want her.
	I'm just like, wow, what a beautiful orchid.
	Yeah, so we don't have connections anymore.
	And people just, most journalists just write, really, it's based on what they read somewhere else in the Amalgamate, especially female journalists.
	And you're supposed to know people on the ground, you know, reporter, you get out there, you talk to people, you call the fireman, and you get the real story.
	So this is what this fucking dude did.
	I don't know what his beef was.
	That's another level of reporting that I would do if I was an actual journalist.
	But this guy's got beef with his wife.
	He's ready to die.
	So you know what he does?
	He gets a rope.
	I don't know why you just wouldn't go.
	But anyway, he gets a rope, ties it to the doorknob of the front door, goes to the back door, ties it to that.
	Now you can't open either door.
	Covers himself in gasoline.
	Oh, Jesus.
	Runs, chases his wife around the house with the can, kicking down doors.
	Eventually catches up with her, covers her in gasoline.
	There's also gas everywhere, right?
	Because they've been chasing and falling.
	Lights it up.
	The fire department takes that extra like 17 seconds to get in.
	And he is Freddy and Debbie.
	And she's just, she makes it out.
	Wow.
	But she's just like standing there.
	No hair, no skin, no clothes.
	She must be dead by now.
	She was still alive, just standing there swaying.
	And I go, they should give you guys a bonus for that.
	Like, here's a coupon subway.
	Because your life will never be a good one.
	She's a drink.
	For the, you know, the nightmares.
	I assume three months of nightmares that are coming up.
	Hold on tight.
	You got three months of nightmares.
	You spoke to that thing we had in biology class that just showed you where muscles are.
	That's what was, and I go, that must give you nightmares.
	And he goes, it has to look human for me to have nightmares.
	Wow.
	This was just like, oh, it's a zombie.
	Oh, my God.
	Like, it's a charred marshmallow.
	It doesn't look good.
	No nose, no ears, no hair.
	Yeah.
	I don't know how the fuck.
	I guess it's the adrenaline.
	Oh, I'm going to faint if I keep talking about that.
	I'm feeling faint.
	Every barbecue ruined for that guy.
	Just the flashbacks.
	It's intentionally set, claiming the life of one man and badly injuring.
	The great nothingness.
	Broke out right around 3.45 this morning here at 144 Waverly Avenue in Yonkers.
	And as you look at the building behind me, you won't see much exterior damage.
	There's a little bit as you look down the alleyway here.
	This was, in fact, a fatal fire.
	One man died, and a female, she remains in critical condition with burns to more than 80% of her body.
	Now, when we arrived on the scene here late this morning, the firefighters were already gone, but the police were still here.
	Why is that?
	This is now a criminal investigation that's underway.
	Police believe this fire was intentionally set, perhaps the result of a domestic dispute, even though there is no history of domestic troubles at this particular address.
	Meantime, the building owner, we bumped into him.
	He told us he's trying to evict the tenants from the first floor apartment when the fire broke out because of overpowered.
	Too many people in the apartment, unstable conditions.
	And police, in fact, told us this is like drugs.
	Six adults and two children.
	Six adults, two children.
	Detectives will be conducting rapes.
	It's just black crackheads.
	People from the building trying to evaluate.
	The news is not news anymore.
	Remember those fucking van full of kids?
	Yeah.
	I never heard shit about that.
	I don't know what the fuck that was.
	Where's one detail?
	That's the biggest thing in the universe.
	And I know guys and cops and FBI and deep staters, military industry.
	And they're like, well, every time I would be like, you know, your brothers in the FBI, find out what's going on with that thing.
	He goes, yeah, you got back to me.
	Apparently it was a van and they're talking about trafficking, like maybe sex trafficking.
	I'm like, what, how, when, what ethnicity?
	Where are they from?
	They don't know yet.
	Yeah, well, that's what I know.
	Tell me more.
	What happened with Vegas?
	Someone got a room, shot, what, 540 people, killed 320, whatever it was?
	We don't know what his motive was.
	Guns.
	Does any part of you think it's not black?
	Because they don't really fuck with fire like that.
	Yeah.
	I don't know.
	Yeah, I pictured a white guy.
	Me too.
	But then overcrowding made me think of drug users.
	More Hispanic.
	Like when whites are junkies, they're more solo.
	You know, just sort of sitting just flopping around.
	Whites are more social about their severe addictions.
	Also, in other news, remember I told you about that guy at my boxing gym who I think is a Fed and he learned a lot of Quebec Was slang and stuff and we have way too much in common?
	Another boxer posited a theory to me, which is the gym, the New York City Proud Boys are basically done.
	They go and get dinner sometimes.
	The stragglers left, but after throwing nine of them, arresting nine of them, throwing three in jail, they're just like, all the cops immediately vanished.
	Sorry, we can't lose our pension.
	And it was just like, it became illegal.
	So that was the end.
	There hasn't been a New York City Proud Boys meetup in, I don't know, six months, seven months.
	That's not a thing.
	But of course, Law enforcement, especially the top brass, is slow to move.
	So they may still be assuming that I'm their secret gang leader recruiting them.
	And the boxing gym is perfect.
	So catch Gavin at his gym, going over to someone who's like really nailing it and going, How many rounds were you moving around there for?
	Seven rounds.
	Seven rounds.
	Huh.
	You got a lot of gas in the tank.
	Yeah, well, I've got a fight in two weeks.
	And he's a hell of a sparring partner, man.
	He doesn't hold anything back.
	But I appreciate it.
	You know, I don't want him to take it easy on me.
	Huh?
	Yeah, I've been watching you.
	You know, I'd like to buy you a beer after the gym.
	We should go talk.
	I got some plans.
	And then I go and I suck him in.
	I don't suck him off, you faggot.
	I lure him in.
	So then the whoever at the MYPD goes, catch him at his recruitment station.
	I don't know.
	It's a theory.
	That's interesting.
	A ridiculous, retarded theory.
	And also, wouldn't you love that to be your job?
	I need you to spend six months going to a boxing gym trying to befriend someone who's zero threat.
	This isn't the mafia where if they find out, they're going to chop your hands off.
	If I find out, I'm going to go, hey, that's it.
	So you just get to work out.
	And sometimes, you know, if he gets my schedule wrong, I might not see him for two weeks.
	That's just two weeks of 80 grand a year pay trying to take down.
	Because sometimes you hear about that with these feds investigating into organized crimes.
	Like, I spent five years with the Mongols.
	Oh, you got to hang out with bikers for five years?
	That's fucking awesome.
	What a job.
	All right.
	Also in the news, I was talking about that Super Predator shirt, and someone has made a shockingly high-quality version.
	I love this John Selwyn.
	But can we do, and I know beggars can't be choosers, but can we do his whole body with his feet?
	Like, I kind of picture it like this.
	The lettering is sort of almost Terminator-y.
	Like, it's really cyber, cyber-ish space science fiction.
	And then he's, like, covering some of the letters with his cape, like that.
	Exactly as you did it.
	The posture is perfect.
	But, like, I don't know if you can see this because of the white.
	Yeah, there you go.
	So it's super predator, like across here.
	And then he's sort of covering part of the DVA.
	You can still read it.
	And then it hits his full body.
	Maybe instead of Superman boots, he has predator feet.
	Oh, cool.
	That's it.
	Yep.
	Throwing that out there.
	Maybe there's some tears on the uniform that show more predator.
	Maybe some slime.
	I don't know.
	Slime.
	That's an incredible job.
	Doesn't he ooze slime?
	He's got some slime in his mouth.
	I think when you shoot him, too, I think it's like.
	Yes.
	Oh, that is true.
	So Halloween happened.
	Total flop.
	I spent $200 in candy, about $800 on an armed guard.
	I spent about $100 on my candy chute.
	I got a piece of PVC pipe that goes all the way down and then has a little elbow at the bottom so the candy shoots into your bag.
	Fun stuff.
	I was wearing the costume I wore on Thursday there with the eyes.
	I just sat on my roof, not like the roof of my porch, just like dropping candy down to kids.
	Ryan hid in the bushes.
	You missed one, maybe the only group we could have scared because you don't want to scare two-year-olds and three-year-olds.
	That's a lot of the...
	But I got egged.
	My house got egged the night before.
	Mischief night.
	I hadn't heard of mischief night.
	We don't have that in Canada.
	And I just moved to the Burbs a few years ago.
	There wasn't no mischief going on.
	That didn't mischief anyone else, too.
	It was just me.
	So I didn't have my guy there.
	And I was there.
	But you just hear, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
	And you're like, what the fuck?
	My son has firecrackers upstairs?
	So then you have four seconds to catch them.
	So then I run out and I don't see anyone.
	They did it from across the street.
	I finally see some eggs.
	I don't know if they went this way or that way.
	I run into this sort of alleyway by my house, run down there.
	And then, of course, you just spend the next, that whole night tossing and turning, thinking if I'd only figured out it was eggs within my four-second window, all the things I would have done to that teenager.
	How I would have beat his ass, tortured him, covered him in eggs.
	You only need one.
	You don't have to catch all four.
	You know the other three pussies are going to run away and abandon him, right?
	It's not like they're going to come back and go, this is the burbs.
	Detective shitty, I have a theory.
	Now, what if these are adults that are using the opportunity of Mischief Night to cloak their anti-gav feelings?
	And they're like, we could just, they'll think it's kids because it's eggs.
	That's fucking retarded.
	My cameras, I could still make out their shapes.
	I could tell by the way they run that they were 15.
	I could hear their voices.
	Adults don't egg people, Ryan.
	They leave chicken on cars.
	That was a crazy old Jewish lady who was mentally ill.
	Fair.
	Hey, four other adults, let's risk going to jail for vandalism to get revenge on this guy we don't like because he's a Trump supporter.
	But it's very clear that my entire neighborhood, it's all Biden-Harris signs everywhere.
	They all hate me.
	But some might hate me for the Proud Boys.
	Some are just like, that's the house of the Trump supporter.
	Like on Halloween itself, I was out there with my security guy, and these girls are walking by, and when they get to my house, they're like 14.
	They get to my house, they stop singing their song, and they yell at my house, Donald Trump is a white supremacist.
	I don't think they realized I was outside talking to my guy, and they see me and they go, happy Halloween.
	I just looked at them and went, that's what I did.
	I just went.
	Like, what am I going to do?
	Argue with him?
	In what way is a white supremacist?
	Like, it's just become this bizarre trope that has nothing to do with logic.
	It's just a sports thing.
	New York Mets suck.
	And the Donald Trump is a white supremacist just means, my team rules, your team sucks.
	It's not based on anything.
	Look at 1.6.
	This is so gross.
	It's like I didn't know you could cuck a whole family.
	White supremacists.
	Oh.
	Okay.
	Trump 2020.
	This just got awkward real quick.
	White power.
	Do I chase after myself?
	How does this work?
	I just need someone to comment.
	Let me know.
	How does this work?
	Do I run white power and then run?
	Donald Trump is a white supremacist.
	Vote if you vote for him again.
	You're a white supremacist.
	That white daughter training her parents to be cucks.
	What is that song?
	I like the bass on it.
	And that black chick is a smoker.
	Let's see.
	Donald Trump.
	You're going to get a lot of results.
	Supremacist.
	But I thought it was funny that the white girl is in front of my house yelling, Donald Trump is a white supremacist.
	In my home, I had a COVID party.
	And no, some of the parents came by after they were picking up their kids, dropping off their kids.
	And my wife was playing psycho in the backyard and having a few drinks.
	We were all very careful.
	And I was thinking, like, this party has black kids, Dominicans, Puerto Ricans, Jews.
	No gays, I don't think.
	Although who knows what the kids, what they're going to grow up as.
	And everyone outside, including, I assume, the Eggers the night before, are all white, upper-middle-class people bitching at the most multicultural party in the history of the town.
	Doesn't that just sum it up?
	My Native American wife, my Native American kids, and the white people are out there going, because he likes Trump, he's a Nazi.
	It was by David Diggs, and he's been on...
	Oh, he looks really annoying.
	There was a little taste last time, and I thought maybe tonight, since we have this microphone, since he's just having like, can you conceive of someone calling Barack Obama whatever, an anti-Semite?
	And he's on Jimmy Fallon, and everyone's giggling.
	Barack Obama is an anti-Semite.
	He hangs out with Farrakhan and the Reverend Wright.
	Not to make everything a matter of life and death.
	I wouldn't say anything.
	I don't like to waste my breath.
	The pendulum swings slow, whether you're right or left.
	But you got a right to vote.
	Black thaw, go in and cry.
	Double screaming, vote me in.
	It's dystopian.
	Jeff, vote me in the New York Times and a post again.
	You'll find me at the polls the moment that it's opening.
	I really didn't prepare remarks, but here's some choice words.
	You got the power to change the world, make your voice heard.
	Whatever will be, will be as long as it was meant to be.
	Enough rap for life.
	You know, it's the trick with these people.
	And when I say these people, I mean like Chelsea Handler, the lefties who say, vote.
	They know their audience is going to vote left.
	They're not telling me or you to vote.
	They're saying, hey, young people, hey, black people.
	Hey, young Hispanics.
	Hey, stupid babysitters.
	Hey, county liberal housewives.
	Get out there and vote.
	There's not a lot of rednecks watching their show, watching Fallon.
	Speaking of diversity mongering, what are you loading up there?
	The Donald Trump song.
	How is our internet slow on a day?
	Office upstairs downloading 600 movies?
	Oh, here we go.
	So it's a meme.
	It's a TikTok thing.
	Oh, more moms.
	Look how white everyone is.
	My mom's a big Trump fan.
	What the fuck is this girl?
	And this dude.
	And America's racist.
	This is why Trump's going to win tomorrow night.
	Because we're so annoyed by young Americans.
	Oh, look at this.
	Donald Trump is a white supremacist.
	Donald Trump is a white supremacist.
	Look at this shit.
	What a fucking shitpile of garbage culture and just late mental obesity.
	This is David Diggs.
	He's in Hamilton.
	Oh, my God.
	Oh, stop.
	I got to clean the palate.
	Speaking of diversity, I know Halloween's over, but I can't resist covering this briefly.
	1-7.
	So Twitter has to share a moment.
	And you know that the fat, ugly women at big tech are choosing the patterns, the, what do you call them, Twitter moments?
	So let's show some crazy costumes.
	Now, we are in a country of 330 million people.
	So you can imagine, even with COVID and even with the uptight pussies, there's going to be some incredible costumes.
	But I would wager if you put them all together, there'd be a disproportionate number of white males and maybe Asian males.
	Not a lot of Muslims, not a lot of like mixed couples.
	They probably wouldn't have the best costumes, like on average.
	So they go, well, I'll just ignore the guy who has a perfect working robocop that he's in.
	It's better than the one in the movie.
	And just go for these.
	So we have, what, a Canadian half-Asian chick who plays baby Yoda.
	Oh, you put some green on your face, put on a wig and some ears.
	Wow.
	That's incredible.
	Or look at this.
	This is what?
	Probably some activist.
	So she's binary.
	We got to get the bi.
	We got to get gender in there.
	That's so fucking lame.
	Imagine being at a party with her.
	Look at this one.
	Scariest Halloween costume I could think of.
	Steve Karnaki projecting an electoral college tie.
	Such a lame costume.
	That's the only white male they show, is the lamest one imaginable.
	And then this guy's probably gay.
	So shitty.
	Keep going.
	This woman, like, what is she?
	I'm Tom Nook.
	Who is Tom Nook?
	You like kids' shows?
	Is that a kids' show?
	I don't know.
	Yeah, it is.
	It's an inf.
	Oh, yeah.
	Wait, go back.
	She looks nothing like him.
	How is that a...
	Oh, I guess she puts some makeup on her eyes to be a raccoon and a little black dot.
	But it's so distracting with all the other shit.
	See, that's just terrible.
	I guess the shirt is the same, his Hawaiian shirt.
	Tom Nook.
	Eh.
	Again, so she was chosen because of her ethnicity.
	Still, this is Halloween.
	Twitter has access to not 331 million, 7 billion.
	Or however many people practice Halloween.
	I'm sure they don't do it in the Congo.
	But many, many million.
	This is the cream of the crop.
	Look at this.
	Awesome one.
	Wow.
	Good work, chick.
	That's mildly interesting for a normal Friday night out.
	You go, oh, you spent some extra time doing weird shit with your makeup.
	Okay.
	What else?
	This one is why I did this whole segment.
	Godspeed.
	I'm some anime character.
	What?
	How the fuck do you look anything like anything but a Smurf ghost?
	That doesn't look like that.
	Hey, Muslims, with burqas, you can't be in Halloween.
	Unless you're a ghost.
	Like, can I not...
	Am I supposed to unsee the burqa and imagine there's crazy hair on top of it?
	Or underneath it?
	Or instead of it?
	Cone heads, boring.
	Of course, we have to have the gay in there.
	There actually is more white people than I initially indicated.
	That's a classic.
	Yeah.
	That makes me kind of horny.
	See, that's a cool costume.
	So that's one.
	And it's not a costume.
	She should have made her outfit like her body a card, too.
	But okay, someone whipped cards in your face.
	That's okay.
	What the fuck is that?
	Just a pretty girl?
	At least he didn't overdose on the white males.
	Keep going?
	These costumes are so lame.
	Look at this dumb bitch with her anime.
	So sick of anime.
	Keep going?
	Oh, mixed race couple.
	They make the cuts.
	Ah, you put a mushroom hat on your head.
	Great costume.
	Coseplay, bullshit.
	Like, where's the cool costumes?
	One time my friends...
	Oh, that's not bad.
	A Zoom call.
	Oh, it actually moves?
	She's got an iPad up there on one of them.
	Oh, I see.
	That's pretty cool.
	Okay, one, we were at like two.
	They had to go to now this to find one.
	Keep going.
	Fuck off.
	Yes, now.
	Dressed up like a corgi.
	Oh.
	Oh, fuck off.
	Anyway, so lame.
	All right, let's get, we're going to play a game, Ryan.
	A lot of dogs.
	In Japan, they don't give a shit about diversity.
	So when they choose their best costumes, they're good.
	Now, wait a minute.
	Before we get to that, I didn't finish my previous thought.
	My friend Blake and Josh, they once dressed up as those girls who are connected at the neck.
	You know, those two-headed twins.
	Them dressed as Cheech and Chong for Halloween.
	Dressed as them as them.
	Yeah, Cheech and Chong.
	That's pretty cool.
	Or one time, the G-Dog, one of my best costumes ever was I dressed as a woman dressing as a man for Halloween.
	So I had on like flats and fitting slacks and a blazer that was kind of contoured and had a cigar and a shitty mustache on top of my mustache and like my long hair in a fedora.
	And then I had my non-existent tits strapped down and a really nice dress shirt that was obviously a woman's.
	And I was like, hey guys, let's touch some tits.
	Oh yeah, I love watching football and looking at women's buttholes.
	Yeah, I'm a guy.
	That's a good costume.
	Those were all shit.
	But anyway, in Japan, they do a thing.
	This was in the shared folder.
	Yeah, I got it.
	So they do a thing called the mundane.
	Real quick, look how many dogs, though.
	Oh, it's so.
	It never ends.
	Maybe that's like the fur babies thing.
	A lot.
	Oh, yeah, I got it.
	So what did they do?
	So they dress up as innocuous things.
	So I'm going to have you try to guess what those are.
	And that is a person going to McDonald's.
	The person that ate McDonald's.
	No.
	That is a person showing up during a busy time at a fast food joint and she can't find a place to sit.
	No way.
	I'll pay you $1 million if you guess this.
	And zoom out.
	People can't see the whole thing.
	I'm not joking.
	Okay, not a million dollars.
	I will pay off your debt $12,000.
	You haven't touched that debt, have you?
	I touch it every now and then.
	Something.
	Like, when did you last put any money into it?
	Oh, a couple weeks ago.
	Oh, really?
	Did you put a lying amount?
	Liar?
	No, like 200 bucks, something like that.
	Just to keep it good.
	I don't believe you.
	I paid off my credit card, okay.
	I have an active credit card.
	Yeah, I believe that.
	Anyway, I'll pay off $12,000 if you can guess what this costume is.
	Okay.
	Does it have anything to do with school?
	We're not playing clues, and you're running out of time.
	Okay, this is a girl looking through Instagram between classes at school.
	You're underestimating the Japanese, which is ironic because you're Japanese.
	So this is beyond the market.
	Like your first guess for the woman with the tray was she's eating at McDonald's.
	Jesus Christ.
	Yeah, I just flew back from Japan, and boy, are my arms tired.
	Let's see.
	Yeah, that's the closest I can get.
	All right, you know what that is?
	When you haven't seen your neighbor ever, and this is your first time seeing her in over a year, because the building did a fire drill and everyone's outside waiting.
	No.
	Yes.
	That's why I could so confidently throw around 12 grand.
	Sure.
	All right, let's do the next one.
	Oh, this is a good one.
	This one's pretty easy to guess.
	You think so, huh?
	All right, well, he's got his flashlight on.
	This is a guy who didn't know he left his flashlight on.
	Oh, thank God I didn't throw 12K at that.
	That's it, huh?
	Yeah.
	I'm getting more jab and he's broke.
	This one's pretty easy, too.
	This is a guy taking a selfie, but what the selfie looks like.
	Oh, this is a Google...
	This is a result.
	This is an Instagram post.
	Yeah, forget that he's taking a picture.
	He has to take a picture.
	This is a screenshot.
	Because it's a picture.
	So ignore his right hand.
	But this is when someone appears in Google Earth.
	Which isn't really mundane.
	That's cool.
	It's pretty good.
	It's like that Zoom woman.
	Okay, let's do the next one.
	This is just emojis.
	I'm not sure that counts.
	Yeah, that stinks.
	Oh my God.
	This is another 12Ker.
	Okay, this is when she got popcorn for a movie, but she's going back to the counter because she dropped it all before the movie started.
	It made me very uneasy.
	What?
	Oh, I got to lie down.
	After I made that offer, I started seeing the fucking bucket and I thought, shit.
	Thank God.
	I'm not.
	Gavin, take it easy with your money, dumbass.
	I am Japanese.
	I have enough money.
	I'm good at gambling.
	I was saying today at the gym I'm going to start betting on sports, but I changed my mind.
	Because they were like, Tommy Baggs was like, why you want to throw away your fucking money, Gavin?
	Here's what I didn't say, that this is not only a movie, but a movie theater at a mall.
	Irrelevant.
	No.
	That was, I honestly think I might have to go to the bathroom.
	That made you that nervous?
	I think I gave myself, like...
	I gave yourself.
	To nerve shits.
	Let's hope this is a fart.
	Please be a fart.
	I didn't hear it.
	Yes, it was.
	Okay.
	But I can tell it's going to be a stinker.
	That's a woman who goes to the movie theater.
	Now, she can't be sitting in a movie theater chair, so she's standing because she's, you know.
	And I guess they say what they are around their neck.
	She is the woman who goes to the movie theater but eats all the popcorn before the movie begins.
	Oh, okay.
	By the way, I see.
	And she drank her drink.
	Her drink's empty, too.
	I just read what it said, but I didn't finish the whole thing.
	I see.
	Next.
	This one's stupid.
	It's those counters where you're not allowed to see the other person, I guess, because of COVID or something.
	That's what it looks like when you're on the inside.
	And this one isn't very mundane.
	It's a guy going to work on a windy day.
	Pretty good.
	Oh, this is a fucking good one.
	See if you can guess this.
	Is it a specific person?
	No.
	Okay.
	None of these.
	This is just a...
	One of these is that they're random people.
	All right.
	This is like...
	This is like an artist who's on the phone with a friend where he's getting a job or something.
	No.
	This is a guy at a thrift store, and you can't tell if he works there or if he's a customer.
	So you don't know whether to ask him a question or not.
	This one's weird.
	It's caretaker who takes care of pandas.
	That's not mundane.
	That's a normal Halloween costume.
	This is a woman whose Zoom fucked up.
	Ah.
	Very good.
	Yeah.
	Apparently, I don't know.
	I don't do Zoom, but apparently you can screw it up where the background is your face by accident.
	Oh, this one's brilliant.
	See if we can get this one.
	Yeah, this is a girl who has a really small charger and has to make a charge.
	That's it.
	Yeah.
	That's all.
	Uh-huh.
	Yep.
	She bought a charger in a rush and didn't realize how short it was.
	Oh, this is a woman who's going to get her ID done.
	That's it.
	Oh, okay, because her top half looks great.
	The bottom looks retarded.
	Yeah.
	Oh.
	Oh, I got this one.
	Yeah.
	I almost forgot this one.
	This is a girl who is hanging out in the living room, but her roommate came home, so she's moving all of her stuff to her room.
	Why?
	She hates her roommate?
	No, no, no, but she was like really taking up all the space.
	So she's like, oh, just to be nice in Japanese, I'm going to move to my room.
	What?
	She's taking up the whole living room with her tiny little things?
	Yeah.
	Anyway, that's a terrible guess.
	This is a woman who's sitting down for lunch and hoping she could recharge her phone, but there's no seats that have plugs available.
	Oh, I see.
	Those are all taken.
	All right, that's enough.
	Wait.
	Oh, okay.
	There was a bunch more, but.
	Oh, I did the wrong thing.
	Why did you pull that up?
	I swiped with two fingers instead of one.
	Oh.
	Oh.
	This is a guy at like a Walmart who greets you at the door with a questionnaire.
	What the fuck?
	I forgot what this guy was.
	Let's say this is your girlfriend's dad when you meet him for the first time.
	Pretty good.
	Wait, what do you got?
	I had nothing.
	Yeah, that's pretty typical, Ryan.
	Oh, this is a great one.
	See if you can guess this.
	That's your friend's little brother, and you're talking to him, and so he takes his earphone off for a second.
	No.
	This is a guy on the subway eavesdropping on a conversation behind him.
	This one's so fucking weird.
	This is a gym instructor like your gym teacher, but it's at a formal, important school event.
	So he put a suit on.
	You've never seen him in a suit before.
	Do you remember that when you'd see your teacher at the supermarket?
	And you're like, oh, you eat food?
	Yeah.
	I thought you slept under your desk.
	You're a person?
	This is a mannequin at a store that some kids had, stupid kids have been messing with because they're badly behaved.
	Oh, this is good.
	I think there's a couple of these.
	Keep going?
	Yeah, keep going.
	Is that it?
	This is a woman who, when she buys something at the store, says, no, I don't need a bag, thanks.
	But then she goes to put it in her bag and it doesn't fit.
	And then she has to ask for a bag.
	Then she has to carry it.
	She should have asked for a bag.
	Oh, my.
	See, that's what happens when you have meritocracy and you don't go by some bullshit agenda.
	This is why tomorrow night is so fucking important.
	Because Joe Biden is the way of equal outcomes and Donald Trump is the way of equal opportunity.
	We cannot enforce equal outcomes.
	That's ridiculous.
	I don't belong in the NBA.
	I'm not good enough.
	I do belong.
	I do deserve the opportunity to try out or to play basketball or for that to be my goal.
	That's what we need to have.
	And I shouldn't be impeded on that goal anyway, anywhere along the way, especially by my sex, my gender, blah, blah, blah.
	That's what we need.
	That's called meritocracy.
	That's what I'm a Western chauvinist about.
	That's what the Western world is built on.
	Come here, work hard.
	I don't care who you are, but you got to have independence.
	You got to understand this culture and be a fan of it.
	You got to have grit.
	You got to have mobility, willing to move somewhere.
	It's a very unique concept, the West.
	And we've built it over years from the Magna Carta through trial and error.
	We left England for being too oppressive.
	They followed us here.
	We kicked them out.
	We finally made a country.
	We finally made a culture.
	We didn't start slavery.
	We ended it.
	And now you want to go back to this Soviet shit where everyone ends up with the same amount of money?
	No.
	Just briefly before we get to the male B, Sean Connery died.
	Beef Squad has a good thing about his opinions on beating women, but here's a nice montage of him slapping women around.
	Get in the car, bitch.
	What's going on?
	He throws her out the window for being a dance.
	Oh.
	Jems, you're hurting me.
	I'll do worse than that if you don't tell me.
	You're doing this under orders, I know.
	Morale.
	I don't know what you mean.
	Slap her.
	Liar.
	Looks like a closed fist.
	Slaps are funny.
	Uh-oh.
	Someone's trying to stab me.
	I know.
	I'll get rid of this one.
	Felix.
	Felix, how are you?
	Oh, I have an important discussion to happen.
	Get this.
	No, I'm Sean Connery.
	Felix, say goodbye to Dinky.
	Her name is Dinky.
	Dink.
	So you made out with a dink?
	Let's stop playing games.
	You licked a dink.
	Whack, that gets you slapped in James Bond movies.
	Say, his name's Eddie.
	Oh, I ruined that.
	He goes, I have to tell you to get something off your chest.
	Now, who was he?
	I don't know what you're talking about.
	Say that.
	There's something I'd like you to get off your chest.
	Pause.
	That's hot.
	I was going to say that.
	Yeah.
	If I was a chick, that would get me wet.
	I have to do that.
	That would make my pussy wet.
	I think I get what you're saying.
	I think if I was a woman, I would like the rough stuff.
	Yeah, no kidding.
	Because you're a guy and you can take it.
	Yeah.
	Well, I don't like rough stuff as a dude.
	Yeah, good point.
	If I was with a chick and she slapped me, I'd go, what the fuck are you doing?
	Yeah.
	Speak up, darling.
	I can't hear you.
	Who's your connection?
	Slapping.
	You sound like a cop to me.
	I'm God.
	Didn't even let her speak.
	Who's your connection?
	You sound like a cop, Commita.
	Who's your connection?
	Drown him.
	Still haven't found out.
	I don't know.
	Slap him.
	Slap her, slap her, slap him.
	So anyway, Beef Squad talks about this.
	But he said, you know, sometimes you do have to slap a woman.
	It's true, but it's very, very rare.
	It's when she's totally delirious.
	And you've tried everything and you shake the shit at her.
	I think you can go psh.
	Or she's punched you 12 times.
	You're allowed to hit her once.
	One for every 12, I've always said.
	Which feminists say is bullshit.
	It should be one for one.
	You'd be dead.
	And conservatives say it's bullshit.
	It should be zero, like 10,000 and zero.
	No.
	Punch me 12 times.
	I'm going to punch you, slap you, do something.
	Just show it briefly.
	If they're using a knife or something, that's a closed fist.
	That's just my personal rule.
	And have everyone seen this by now, though, right?
	Let me just show it for a second.
	This is how I know if something's overplayed, if Ryan has seen it.
	Have you seen this going around?
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, you have?
	I watch it monthly.
	Okay, so let's just show it for one second.
	I know Sean Connery regrets this conversation.
	Okay, you did an interview in which you said, it's not the worst thing to slap a woman now and then, as I remember, you said you don't do it with a clenched fist, it's better to do it with an open hand.
	Pause.
	Remember that?
	Notice the condescending tone.
	This is when women started to be cunts in the 80s.
	And this, ironically, no, not ironically, this not coincidentally is when men's clubs started to die.
	When women became bitches and started bossing us around.
	Now, the pussies who complied, that's the real issue here.
	But go back just a pube.
	Look at her kids.
	It's not the worst thing to slap a woman now and then, as I remember, you said you don't do it with a clenched fist, it's better to do it with an open hand.
	Watch this.
	Yeah.
	Remember that?
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that, that, that.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Remember that?
	Yeah.
	You know what it is?
	Yeah.
	Remember that Tyler Perry movie where he's in a wheelchair and there's nothing he could do?
	She's like, you remember that time when you did that?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's sort of like when cops, and I love cops, but this does bother me when you all pull me over on my motorcycle and say, mind telling me why you're weaving in and out of cars?
	Because why else would I have a motorcycle?
	I shouldn't have to wait in traffic.
	I'm cheating.
	I'm breaking the rules.
	There's no explanation here.
	You know it.
	Yeah.
	Okay, so yeah, I admit it.
	Yeah, okay.
	So you know you're going to get a ticket for that.
	Yeah, just write it up.
	Fuck.
	I didn't love that.
	I haven't changed my opinion.
	You haven't?
	No, not at all.
	You think it's good to slap a woman?
	No, I don't think it's good.
	That'd be funny if he slapped her.
	Have you seen the edit?
	I don't know.
	Let's see.
	Oh, dude, if you've seen.
	Oh, if he'd slapped her, that would have been the funniest thing.
	You know what happened to him?
	He lost his mind.
	He got dementia.
	I'm headed there.
	All Scots do it because they drink so much.
	Their brain falls apart.
	It's the ultimate end to all Scotsmen if they don't starve themselves to death by drinking empty calories and forgetting to eat.
	But he, as he started to lose his mind, it was a long time ago he started to go nuts.
	And they said, would you like to be Morpheus or Gandalf?
	He said no to both.
	He could have been Gandalf in Lord of the Rings.
	He could have been Morpheus in Matrix.
	He said no.
	Would have been great.
	And then he said, shit, I'm saying no to too much stuff.
	And then they're becoming huge hits.
	So I'll say yes to League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.
	Yeah.
	Which was even Ryan Ketsu Rivera doesn't like that piece of shit movie.
	I liked it very well.
	Total flop.
	And then he said no to Crystal Skull because he said, I'm actually retired now.
	I'm done.
	I can't seem to choose them.
	And look at 2-1.
	You don't want to finish this?
	What?
	No.
	Just the end part.
	Okay.
	With a last one.
	They want to say it again and get into a really provocative situation.
	Then I think it's absolutely right.
	What would...
	Oh, they did do that.
	So I've never seen the end.
	This was him at the end, though.
	He hated James Bond because he hated when people say James Bond because he thought he was above it.
	He thought he was like a great theater actor.
	No, not that one.
	But he also admitted that without James Bond, he wouldn't have a career.
	Like a battle with dementia.
	It was no life for him.
	So I've always said, if I don't know who my kids are, my dad says, if I can't wipe my own ass, if I can't wipe my own ass.
	I was thinking, I got to get him on the show more.
	Yeah.
	I got a call from them last night.
	They were not happy about the caricature.
	Oh, the drawing?
	Yeah.
	Whoops, a delivery.
	He says, we do not wear cardigans.
	And he makes me look disgusting.
	Extra long show, folks.
	Maybe we should save some of this for tomorrow night, for the election.
	Yeah, I'm going to save the rest because we've got a lot of Biden-isms, a lot of Trumpisms, and we're going to be probably 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 1.
	I bet we're going to be five hours.
	So let's go over to the mail B. Okay,
	Lotus seems late.
	Is she done?
	No, she's not done.
	I know she got a second episode.
	No, I don't know why I said is she done.
	Oh, I meant.
	Yeah, she's got to get going.
	Wait a minute.
	I have no new mail.
	Since the 28th?
	Am I doing this right now?
	I got one from 3.03.
	You're in your archive?
	Yeah.
	What the fuck is going on?
	I stopped getting them at 10.28.
	What the hell?
	What the fuck?
	What is going on?
	Oh, and it's got a little thingy next to it.
	Oh, there we go.
	It had a little cuckoo coo, and then I clicked on that to say, don't cuck cuckoo.
	And now it's back.
	Greetings, Gavin and Lord of the Fag Zone.
	Jake Hanrahan in this interview mentions working with Weiss from near the beginning and how it went to complete shit when you and others got pushed out.
	Do you know this guy?
	He's doing war journalism and seems interesting.
	Well, if he likes me, then he's a cool dude.
	And he was like, right, it was like this eight-hour drive to the front line and we like stopped at this petrol station and he gets like stationed.
	I don't know if you know what that is, a modium?
	What do you mean?
	Stops diarrhea, right?
	2645, Ryguy.
	Do your fucking job.
	What were you just doing right there?
	We're going to be there for like three days.
	What were you just doing?
	I thought it was time coding, but what were you just doing?
	Resizing your frame.
	Very cool, you know, and very new.
	And kind of adversarial still.
	And then, you know, I had the best time there, worked with the best people, learned a lot.
	I mean, I remember I started when I was like 24 and I was on the front line within like six months.
	You know, like you would never get that kind of experience or like trust put in you anywhere else.
	So it was a great experience.
	And then, you know, the HBO money came in and basically every team member that made Vice News what it was got like pushed out when the HBO money came in.
	And then people were coming in like, yeah, well, you know, you need to listen to us.
	And then we were like, hang on, you wouldn't even have this job if it wasn't for the work we all put in, being paid peanuts, I might add.
	And, you know, but we didn't care because we loved it.
	And then I guess when all that happened, I just, I was like, this ain't for me no more.
	I left.
	Yeah.
	That's a shitty letter, you stupid fucking loser, James.
	I left in 08.
	Vice News was, well, it was started, but the actual title he's talking about is like 2013.
	So he never mentioned my name.
	Thanks for that amazing story, though.
	Please tell Devin to do a segment on this story.
	Oh, okay.
	Hey, Devin.
	Hey, Kangaroo Jack, do you watch this?
	12-year-old Fort Worth rapper allegedly shot a one-year-old and committed arson.
	Yeah, that is a good AIU.
	All right.
	Moving along.
	The trap thing just popped up in that observer thing.
	And what does it say?
	Trapped invites Proud Boys to attend Dallas Show.
	Oh, yeah.
	That's in our notes for tomorrow.
	Can you tell Trump to come to Oregon for me?
	Save our state.
	So excited.
	He mentioned it as his rally and Tifa and mask mandate.
	We have no rights, and Cape Brown is a stupid, evil cunt.
	He said witch, but that's gay name.
	I'm embarrassed to live here in this nightmare.
	I talked to a guy from Portland last night who's apolitical, completely apolitical.
	And he goes, I just hate that my town that has always been known for the beautiful mountains and the scenery and the trees is now known as the shithead Antifa Burning Cars place.
	And that's what it'll always be.
	He watches the riots outside his window.
	He's in a high-rise.
	this woman is fantastic and funny as hell.
	This has to make it to the show.
	Other cuts in full.
	I bet this is gonna suck.
	I can just smell it.
	I look crazy, but I'm out here.
	Come out.
	When God would implant in his love, he would implant in you that way.
	Yeah.
	Period.
	I'm out here for every aborted baby.
	I'm out here for my aborted babies.
	I'm out here.
	I look crazy and I do not care.
	Disgusting.
	Disgusting.
	Black unborn lives.
	All unborn lives matter.
	If you want to kill something, kill your damn self.
	Don't kill an innocent child.
	It's your mistake, not the baby's mistake.
	Before I leave, I want to make it clear.
	Don't expect somebody to care about your body when they don't care about theirs.
	Okay, very nice.
	I'm glad you feel that way.
	Bye-bye.
	Oh, here's a retarded one.
	This just came in.
	Go back to the top.
	This is probably a retarded question.
	Now, we get a lot of retarded mail.
	So when they even know they're retarded, it's going to be unbelievable.
	Are you ready for this?
	Yes.
	But are you aware that Vincent Gallo is in your opening montage?
	Who, where?
	You don't say.
	Wait, you didn't know that?
	I didn't.
	Okay.
	Nothing you do would surprise me.
	Wow, you briefly chatted about him a few shows back and it didn't come up.
	Since he's the only famous face in your opening that I recognize, it made me wonder if it's just a fluke or if he's there on purpose.
	We're aware of Prince Vince, my dear.
	Yes, he's there on purpose.
	And that's Joe Strummer we just showed one second ago with the ghetto blaster.
	And there is Prince Vince, Vince and Gallo, for a second.
	Jesus Lord.
	I've been doing this for a little while, my dear.
	So the odds are pretty high I'm familiar with my own show and what's in it.
	Hey, Gaylords, Nate Silver's 538 website says Biden has a 90% chance of winning.
	The prediction is brought to you by Comedy Central.
	Is this an epic troll or one of the dumbest sponsorships imaginable?
	90 and 100.
	10 to 100.
	We've been through this before.
	And look, they've just got a bunch of different scenarios below it where Biden wins.
	And I'm 5e Fox.
	If you're trying to scare me, it's not working, Comedy Central.
	Hey, Gavin and by guy.
	Wanted to share you my gratitude to Rufio, Seattle Proud Boys, for helping my two female coworkers with unloading their U-Haul, okay?
	I'm a Florida guy.
	Our chapter president gave me Rufio's contact.
	Rufio agreed with knowing me, blah, blah, blah.
	And he asked for nothing in return.
	That's kind of lame, dude.
	To ask for random Proud Boys to help you move.
	It's not a volunteer labor force.
	That's a shitty thing to do.
	Like, would a Hell's Angel call other Hell's Angels and say, help my girlfriend move?
	My two female co-workers?
	Maybe I'm off on a bad foot with these letters, but isn't that fucking retarded?
	You're a Florida proud boy and you have them, people you don't know, unload your female co-workers U-Haul.
	What?
	That's not what the organization was built for, dude.
	Maybe like a toy drive or something, but your two female co-workers, you're not even fucking them?
	Ugh.
	This him and Gatsikoto.
	Yeah.
	That's the only interesting thing about that.
	All right, these letters better start getting good.
	Uhuru.
	Hey, gay Gavin and Hetcher.
	By the way, just so everyone's clear, that guy is the guy behind the Uhuru.
	He's a very effeminate, gay black guy who is obsessed with reparations.
	I think he was driven out.
	Why aren't you showing the picture?
	Uhuru!
	I think he was driven out by BLM for being too gay.
	Like literally driven right out of town with his boyfriend, which is also very funny.
	Hey, gay Gavin and Hetro Ryan of the frat zone.
	What?
	Longtime listener hailing from the glorious Liverpool, UK.
	I beg to differ.
	Did you know some journalist over here tracked down one of Biden's cousins, Ralph Biden?
	Ralph didn't even know he was his cousin and said Joe's probably too old to do the job.
	Google it.
	Why do I got to do your homework?
	I love you significantly more than something you describe as platonic.
	Oh, does it not play?
	There's so much of this shit that just doesn't play when you find it.
	It don't play around.
	There's also our shitty internet.
	I got to take off my ad blockers.
	Oh, even that didn't work.
	Frigate, interesting.
	Although, I never put too much credence on that.
	That's sort of like when they found Barack Obama's stepbrother, and he doesn't like Barack.
	Okay.
	Would you pay some African dude 40 bucks to say something?
	Dear Gavin Rice, with most things, you're totally right that Tim Poole is totally bald.
	This is probably going to be that millennial matt taking off his hat.
	A beanie is the worst way to hide your baldness.
	I mean, what do you do in the summer or if you're in a moderately warm room?
	Just wear like a baseball hat or something normal.
	Love you more than a friend.
	I swear to God, I'm doing this.
	Later tonight, I'm going to start a GoFundMe.
	27.
	Look how mad he gets when they take his hat off.
	I had to steal your hat.
	Do you remember me?
	That's the place where I said, if someone says, hey, how's it going?
	Choke them out.
	Because Antifa were going up to people and saying hi and then attacking them.
	You understand that?
	I understand.
	Don't fucking touch me.
	Do you realize what these people have been doing to me all day?
	And you want to come up to me and you want to grab my head.
	I just wanted to take your head.
	That's all.
	demon man.
	Look, he puts his hood up.
	Jokes are funny.
	Listen, I get it.
	You want to go out there?
	You want to start trolling people?
	Taking their hats?
	That's fine.
	I get it, man.
	But when you take my hat, I don't take too kindly.
	Don't you feel like Antifa's ruined by the mug shots?
	So these motherfuckers can't fucking recognize me when I'm on the street.
	What?
	There's Jim Poole.
	No, that guy's bald.
	Oh, okay.
	So I wear a different color beanie than the...
	I liked him now.
	I didn't before, but...
	I'm so mad for saying Proudboy started the fight.
	I think he's making this up.
	Oh, they take his hat.
	And they run away.
	I told him to do that.
	These are our enemies.
	We have an alliance now.
	Oh, it looks like Millennial Matt is running low on the follicles himself.
	In fact, this was, I think, what was that, 2017?
	It's gone by now.
	I'd like to check in on it.
	Listen, ma'am, you have a spot in your beard?
	You have a little spot in the green?
	I'm bald, too.
	You've got about three months, buddy.
	He said to me in London, he goes, I had everyone chanting USA.
	And he goes, I got to ask you, this is backstage.
	You have everyone chanting USA, USA.
	You notice my imitations are just imitations of your imitations.
	But you were born in, you're Canadian.
	I go, first of all, I was born in England, right down the street.
	And what the fuck do you care?
	Was that him when he was liberal?
	It was such a petty little...
	I don't know.
	Because that goes against the whole, if you come here, you're an American, even if you're illegal and didn't do anything.
	No, it's just like, why do you get to do a big speech and why am I backstage?
	And it was just petty.
	Well, hey, ma'am.
	I probably don't do it as good of a speech.
	But listen.
	My speech was the worst speech of possibly history.
	I've been drinking for three days with those fucking lads.
	Dear Gavin Rye guy, I got a new car and I was thinking of names.
	I wanted to know how Rye came up with the fag zone.
	Good question.
	I want something as fitting and perfect.
	Also, would you ever consider having Colin Flaherty on?
	He's, I, Jesus, this is a bad day for letters.
	I'd love to have Colin Flaherty on.
	Like, who did...
	I was talking to Faith Goldie the other day and she suggested it was someone like Bill Burr or something.
	I was like, yeah.
	And I'd love to have the Rolling Stones play my birthday.
	I forgot to show you the New York Post.
	Yeah, dude, these social justice warriors out there.
	It's fucking brutal.
	Hey, GNR, I was delighted to see an actual Sabo in the wild this morning in downtown L.A. Check it out.
	That's very good.
	All right, that's good news.
	All right, here's one more.
	Hey, Gavin, the Jap Rican mayor of the F-Zone.
	You fucked up my last name on my cameo, you drunk Scott.
	Do you like Samuel?
	And by the way, I'm still available for cameos.
	Look me up.
	It's on censor.tv.
	100% of the proceeds go straight to Max and John, actually to Zenoa Kinsman, and she distributes it to the two families.
	I never see a red cent.
	And I'll do whatever you want.
	Say it however you want.
	I've just finally convinced them to stop censoring requests that have the word proud boys in them.
	Can you believe that?
	Cheat.
	What's a recent one there?
	Do they show the most recent ones?
	I don't know, man.
	So far, not seeing any pictures.
	There we go.
	No, that's an ancient one.
	That's just me calling people saying that's a call to action.
	So it should have examples.
	I know.
	Usually there is.
	What the hell?
	Get out of here.
	Yeah, no, I haven't seen it.
	Okay.
	Do you like Samuel Wyatt Gross for a baby name or Noah Wyatt Gross?
	Gross is my last name.
	You said Taylor.
	I worked my ass off on my kids' costumes this year, and no one was giving out candy.
	Even here in Texas, we live in a society of brainwish victim pussies, and it pisses me off to no end.
	Anyway, what do you think of their costumes?
	Those are fucking amazing.
	Nice job, dude.
	Wow.
	Look at that.
	Yeah, the chest plates and the gloves are.
	And the paint chipping on the Bubba Fett helmet?
	I don't know who the other person is, do you?
	No.
	Probably some video game thing.
	Or maybe from the Mandalorian or something.
	Ooh, good.
	Yep.
	Good point.
	Oh, good.
	Yeah, good.
	Oh, that's good.
	Yep.
	Pissed me off to no end.
	Y'all are the best.
	Take care and don't get murdered by the mob after Trump wins.
	P.S. That kangaroo boy is awesome.
	My favorite episode was the one where he reviewed a video of a bleep son who raped his bleep dad and his bleep mom murdered his bleep ass.
	That was really the best.
	Atheism is unstoppable.
	Yes.
	Bleep on bleep crime is out of control these days.
	Bleep.
	God bless Walter Gross.
	So to answer your question, Samuel or Noah, Noah sounds very Jewish.
	And the beauty of Sam is you got Samuel, Sammy, and Sam.
	I would go with Samuel Wyatt Gross.
	Sammy Gross.
	Oh, I guess he is Jewish if it's gross, right?
	And if it's Wyatt, it's like, why is it Wyatt Gross?
	I don't know.
	Why isn't it Gross?
	They both have the same middle name, Wyatt Ryan, you fucking boob.
	Well, we could change that.
	What?
	Noah?
	No, because Noah's worse because it's like, you know, Wyatt's gross?
	Wait, what?
	I don't know.
	Oh, I thought that was the guy who ripped me off trying to resell it.
	Different guy?
	This is from Texas.
	Different guy, right?
	Yeah.
	My guy was Ohio, my scam artist.
	So there's still...
	What was that on?
	Facebook.
	Facebook.
	See, I can't even look at Facebook.
	It's Verboten.
	All right, I had a lot more political shit, but we'll do that on the marathon tomorrow.
	Let's end with our final video.
	I think we should do 4-4.
	Do we want to date the video?
	Let's show our new month.
	Well, it's not quite done.
	Are you done the montage?
	No, no, no.
	Not even close.
	No, we could listen to the song.
	Okay, let's listen to our new final video song.
	Here it comes.
	I thought you were going to be done the video.
	No, no, I started it, but...
	Okay.
	Here we go.
	Yeah, I don't know if you caught those lyrics, but there's a lot of talk about...
	No, I said 4-4.
	There's a lot of, well, now you have to show that, Ryan.
	You fucking blew it.
	Could be a teaser.
	No.
	Okay, it's a teaser for tomorrow.
	Yes.
	But that's a Beastie Boy song, basically about Ryan's dad abandoning him and ending with the final video.
	Thank you very much to the person who did that.
	Should we say his name?
	Or can they get in trouble?
	Maybe the first name.
	I'm so toxic that I don't know if I should have guests on the show.
	I have to find out who Faith was suggesting.
	It was so fucking annoying.
	I love her to death, but it was such an irritating.
	What did she say?
	Dave Portnoy from Barstool.
	Oh, right, right, right.
	I remember what he was doing.
	Yeah, I should get Dave Portnoy.
	You mean the guy who just sat down with the President of the United States?
	That'll be the one.
	Yeah, I'll get that multi-millionaire to risk everything coming on my show.
	What are you doing?
	You just reminded me.
	So there was a...
	Show your face.
	What's it called?
	Constant coaching.
	It's like you're an intern at a college radio station.
	There we go.
	Oh, someone was me for Halloween.
	There's a better one.
	That's pretty good.
	It's like a handsome version of you.
	It's an ugly version of me.
	I'm way more gorgeous than that.
	You got the tattoos and everything.
	Oh, yeah, those are very accurate.
	That's fucking good.
	I guess he saw that on that tattoo YouTube thing.
	Oh, will you explain your tattoo?
	Yeah, yeah.
	Not bad.
	Yeah, good job.
	Probably, and then, so I don't want to say his name because it was the same topic.
	Oh, he got the Chucks.
	And the Budweiser, and the Makers.
	I wouldn't wear Chucks with a suit and tie.
	Or jeans.
	Or jeans.
	Oh, what the fuck kind of tie is that?
	I mean, a belt.
	A zebra belt, dude?
	The guy who wrote that final thing, he's listed here as G buttersnaps.
	So I don't know if we're helping him or hurting him.
	But we had that's the final video song, and let's check out the final video.
	This video, it's going viral on the internet.
	It shows a man dressed as a clown scaring random people in Stockton.
	But he gets a scare of his own when he tries to surprise and frighten a man who then pulls out a gun and pistol whips the man in the clown suit.
	Okay.
	I got something.
	Don't run.
	Don't run.
	Don't run.
	It's a prank.
	It's all the prick.
	It's a prick.
	The camera right there.
	He just got a pistol.
	I don't know if it was a real gun or fake, but it looked like a gun.
	So I mean, it was a gun and he hit it.
	And then I felt a little dizzy and I fell down.
	And then I just started telling him it's a prank.
	It's a prank.
	So he won't shoot me.
	It's a prank.
	So he won't shoot me.
	It's a prank.
	It's a prank.
	So he won't shoot me.
	It's a prank.
	It's a prank.
	So he won't shoot me.
	It's a prank.
	It's a prank.
	It's a prank.
	So he won't shoot me.
	It's a prank.
	It's a prank.
	So he won't shoot me.
	It's a prank.
	It's a prank.
	So he won't shoot me.
	It's a prank.
	So he won't shoot me.
	What?
	So he won't shoot me?
	Yeah.
	That's it, folks.
	I assume you're voting now.
	You voted today or you're voting tomorrow.
	I assume you voted for Trump.
	I also assume he's winning, and we will be indulging in those victories tomorrow night.
	100% chance Trump is winning.
	I'll be here with Milo, popping the champagne, having a gay old time, calling people all night, totally partying, pulling them in, being on their shows.
	They'll be on our shows.
	Try to get all of our contributors on board.
	I mean, in a perfect world, we'd all be having a party together, but I'm not good enough at organizing that kind of thing.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	Patriotic, bitch, my team show page.
	Another twenty-twenty.
	Month twenty twenty twenty.

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