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Oct. 29, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:31:15
S03E31 - SAMHAIN [2020-10-29 - S03E31 - SAMHAIN]
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Hey guys, welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.
This is our spooky spaghetti and tomato sauce episode.
The Halloween app.
Halloween is on Saturday.
This is the last time I'm going to see you when we come back on Monday.
We will be post-Halloween.
We've got a lot to cover today, so have patience.
And you know what?
If you're scared, then turn it off because this is going to be a very spooky, spooky, spooky, spooky, spooky, spooky, spooky, spooky episode.
Case in point.
So prepare yourselves.
I'm actually on holiday in Jamaica.
I hired an actor to just sort of move his head around like Atheism is Unstoppable's Kangaroo.
And I'm actually on the phone right now calling from a boat.
Oh, shit!
The book.
Wait, that's okay.
The book today is Motley Cruise Dirt inspired by me.
Whoa.
How did you do that?
I don't know.
That is spooky.
That's so spooky, it threw me off.
Yeah.
Why didn't you make me that cool?
Well, why do you get all the effects?
I'm a man of technology, you see.
That got nothing to do with my question.
My question is, why are you cool?
I didn't know I could do this.
It looks so awesome.
You should do it every day.
Yes.
With my co-host, the ghoul, Japrec and Hulk.
I can't believe my eyes are red.
This is way better than what I want.
Huh.
Yeah, Motley Cruz's book, Dirt, was inspired by the G-Dog, by the way.
When Tommy Lee was writing it, he was like, yeah, that story's too crazy, though.
And I don't want to ostracize fans, and we might get in trouble if we say this.
But my book, Do's and Don'ts, had just come out, which should be on Monday's thing.
And his manager, agent, editor guy, his publisher, basically, whenever you write a book, you have a go-to guy that you send chapters to, and he helps you through it.
His editor, I guess is the word, kept showing him do's and don'ts and going, dude, you can go even crazier.
Look at this book.
This is the guy that started Vice.
It's a fucking hilarious book.
And it's over the top.
Go over the top.
And he did, and we got dirt.
And then it became that cool movie that's really good.
It's a bunch of Australian dudes playing Motley Crew, I think, for some reason.
So I highly recommend it.
You'll peel through it in no time.
You know, another great rock book is Scars by Anthony Keatus of Red Hot Chili Peppers.
He just talks in a really fucked up, weird way.
He calls his legs his getaway sticks.
It's fucking scar tissue.
That's it.
That's a great one.
All right, we've got a lot to cover today, folks.
And it's all going to be very spooky.
So let's start at the top with Jack Dorsey banning the New York Post.
This is so fucking gay.
I'm so done with this shit where politicians get a big tech CEO and they say mean things to him.
The Babylon Bee was making fun of it the other day.
I go, what does that accomplish?
Every third time I go to a bar, especially if it's not one of my dive locals, I'm getting berated by some feminist who's giving me shit because she recognizes me.
And it's water off a duck's back.
I don't even remember it the next day.
And this is some big, ooh, Ted Cruz eviscerates Jack Dorsey.
Oh, no.
The guy's making cabillions.
He's controlling the national conversation and he has to hear some fucking redneck closeted homo, Ted Cruz, yell at him for 10 seconds.
Big fucking deal.
How is this even a thing?
It actually annoys me that politicians get to just pull up someone and say, get him in here.
I want to yell at him for an hour.
Why?
What good does that do?
Either charge him, change the law, stop giving them tax breaks where they're treated like a utility, like water or gas.
Do that.
That's a thing.
Yelling at someone and wagging your little fucking Texas finger at them, what does that do?
By the way, the actor I hired to play me on this phone call is doing an excellent job.
Pretty good.
How did he even know I was going to do this?
Oh, he did it again.
It's not going to stop.
He's a pro.
He's a pro.
He's a pro.
He can't throw him off.
He's hired.
Did you see this Oregon health official was announcing the COVID stats in a clown costume next to her.
I thought of it because the sign language guy next to her was pretty good.
But she's wearing a clown costume.
Is she trying to co-opt our clown world shit or is she dressing up for Halloween?
I don't quite get it.
I don't get it.
And the most confusing thing about this is why does it make me horny?
Why do I have a boner right now with her big fat tits.
I'm not impressed with myself right now.
Play it while I. I have to go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back.
Oh, young Patton Oswalt is a sediatrician and also a senior health advisor here at the Oregon Health Authority.
I'm here with Shimmy Shariq, my colleague who's also a senior health advisor.
And we thought we'd start by giving you a quick update on where we are as a state with COVID-19.
As of today, there have been 38,160 cases of COVID-19 in Oregon.
Don't care.
With 390 new cases being reported today.
Don't care.
Sadly, we are also reporting three deaths today.
Three deaths.
Okay, that's enough, weird boner woman.
Computer, what is the population of Oregon?
As of 2017, the population of Oregon is 4.143 million.
There have been three deaths recently out of 4 million.
How relevant can you get?
All right, here's a spooky theory.
Should we just show the Ted Cruz thing for a second?
Like, anyone gives a shit?
The right is so excited about this.
Take down.
Specifically the enforcement.
You're still blocking their posts.
You're still blocking their post.
Right now, today, you're blocking their post.
We're not blocking the post.
Anyone can tweet.
Can the New York Post post on their Twitter account?
If they go into their account.
No, is your answer to that.
No.
Unless they reflect and agree with your dictates.
Let me ask you something.
You claimed it was because of a hacked materials policy.
I find that facially highly dubious and clearly employed in a deeply partial way.
Did Twitter block the distribution of the New York Times' story a few weeks ago that purported to be based on copies of President Trump's tax returns?
We didn't find that a violation of our terms of service and this policy in particular because there's reporting about the material.
It wasn't distributing the material.
Okay, well, that's actually not true.
They posted what they purported to be original source materials and federal law, federal statutes making it off.
You know, when you go to eBay, by the way, I got my money back for the golf clubs.
You'll be happy to hear.
I think they just give you your money back when you complain a lot because it's cheaper than investigating.
Credit card companies do that too.
Anyway, you know when you try to go to something like eBay or PayPal or Chase Bank and you're trying to get, actually Chase Bank's a bad example because you get to a person pretty fast.
But they just give you the runaround and the help desk is just more articles about your problem.
And even when you go online, you can't find people answering your fucking questions.
That's what that was like.
No, we found that that didn't violate our terms of service.
Yes, they can tweet if they just remove that tweet that we believe violates our terms of service.
Like, what have you done there?
Here's something juicier.
I think this guy's a gay Muslim.
Fair.
Now, I heard through the grapevine that he's a fag.
Yeah.
And he's a top, and he likes to fuck black dudes in their bums.
And one thing you do when you're a top who fucks dudes in their butts is you grow a beard.
It's a way.
I'm not joking.
That's a thing.
Okay.
Yeah, it's a thing.
It's like I fuck dudes up the butt.
I'm a Superman.
I'm a top.
Guess I got some not shaving to do.
So that's...
So the gay is looking very good.
The beard thing.
Now he looks obviously like every devout Muslim scholar in London, England.
And if you look him up, he has a lot of fishy shit.
Like he said you should visit Myanmar once.
He gives the Muslim Brotherhood full reign.
And here's the thing about America and Muslims.
We don't have a problem like Britain and France does yet.
Our Muslims are mostly black dudes, and it's from prison culture.
And they're like, it's a retardation of Islam, which is tough because Islam's already retarded.
But it's like, you know, Nation of Islam, the Bowtais, Tariq Nasheed, Taleb Quali, Michael Eric Dyson, Snoop Dogg, Louis Varrakhan, that kind of Islam.
So he's got the beard, but what the fuck is this?
Well, you know.
Is that him in Minama?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So he, by fucking black dudes, he got into black culture and spirituality.
And the guy's obviously stressed out and rich and bored.
So he got into their version of Islam.
This is my theory.
And I'm sticking to it.
So that's in the news.
What else is in the news?
Oh, the opening song, of course, was Mother by Danzig from the album Sam Hain, a nice spooky and spaghetti sauce song.
What did you think of that opening song, Trump?
Nobody can do that like me.
Okay, that's weird.
You gotta be proud of your boys.
What was that?
You gotta be proud of your boys.
Another dog whistle from the God Emperor Trump.
Sam Hain, that album, has the coolest skull in the history of skulls.
The previously coolest skull was the Misfits logo itself, which comes from an old 1950s Halloween costume.
But that was an iconic skull.
Danzig is really good at graphic design, isn't he?
And that jam.
Mother!
One of the best songs ever.
It's one of the best songs ever.
Great karaoke jam, too.
Oh, yeah.
It's hard to not do that.
If someone's like, we could do karaoke, but we can't do mother, you'd be like, yeah.
I'll meet you guys after.
Yeah.
You know what the stupidest karaoke song is?
Bad out of hell?
Correct.
Yeah.
Have you ever chosen that?
No, I've seen you choose it, and it takes forever.
It's seven minutes long.
It ruins the party.
Everyone leaves.
It's like got four different parts to it.
I can't read my notes.
I'm going to have to take this off.
You have a little lighter.
Wait, what if we light them up?
No, I have a thing on my face.
This doesn't help?
No, it's not.
That does help a bit.
Jack Dorsey is a gay Muslim who fucks black dudes.
We covered that.
I hate this CEO's shit.
It's so meaningless.
We covered that.
You know what we should check out?
I just emailed this to you.
Ali Alexander is making major waves with JoeBidenisSick.com.
And he's basically proving that it's not just Hunter Biden is a fuck-up and Joe Biden may have helped him orchestrate a deal or two.
It's a separate email, Ryan.
Oh, separate email.
Why would I say I emailed it to you and it would be the main email in the notes?
I had to focus on the flashlight.
You had to focus on the flashlight.
Yes.
You were so focused on the flashlight, your brain shut down.
Momentarily.
Sorry.
Unfucking believable.
So basically in this post, if you scroll down, he proves that Joe Biden knew he was sick.
Barack Obama didn't want him to run because he didn't want to get caught for Spygate and all his health issues.
Joe Biden doesn't occasionally work with his son.
He is inexorably linked to his son.
In fact, he calls it a team.
We are a team.
And Jill Biden, Jill, remember that was the babysitter, was in on it too.
Okay, I can't.
Am I supposed to do this for an hour?
It's hurting my eyes.
Man.
He was the only one who knew what I was going through.
I made a commitment to my son that I would not let anybody know how serious his situation was.
So here he is keeping a secret about his illness and his son's illness.
Sorry, his son's illness.
So the only person I could confide in to tell him that I knew I was not going to, I didn't think I'd be able to do it unless some miracle happened to my boymate, that it was highly, highly unlikely I'd run.
So he knew that.
He was the only one outside the family, including my staff.
So the beauty of what Ali's doing is he's piling all of the pieces together like jigsaw pieces, and they're not that stunning in and of themselves.
But when you step back and you look at the whole puzzle, you go, holy shit.
This is a big fucking deal.
It changes your voice.
It changes your voice.
It's freaked out.
I want to get him uncensored so bad.
But he ain't cheap.
But wouldn't it be awesome if he had a show, a live call-in show?
What about just a call-in show?
That's cool.
Yeah.
And obviously the callers are not going to be like, hey, how do you think the Mets are doing this year?
It's just, it's going to be about Joe Biden is sick.
What the fuck are you wearing, by the way, now that I can see?
Just the spookiest things.
A mesh shirt.
Today is a rainy day in New York City.
What jacket did you wear?
My car heart.
Carhartt is not goth, you moron.
I know, but it's the only waterproof thing I have.
It's not waterproof, you moron?
These are my pants.
This reminds me of when we were skiing and I said, your buddy that you brought, what's his name again?
Hodge.
Hodge goes, is that waterproof?
And you go, yeah.
And then we look at you later and you're just soaked.
It never touched me, though.
That's not waterproof.
If you wear nine sleeping bags, are they waterproof?
No, okay, so technically not, but it keeps me not wet.
Yeah, so does 37 sweatshirts.
Yeah, but it's only one jacket.
So it's pretty effective in keeping me not wet.
That doesn't mean it's waterproof.
Well, then it's not waterproof.
But for me, I'm waterproof when I wear it.
Holy fuck.
I don't think a retard would be as funny as you.
Thank you.
I don't think a retard would have as many quotes as you have.
Jeff Brecon Hall.
Speaking of Muslims and Jack Dorsey, the worst thing you can do to your country is not illegals.
They suck, but they don't ruin the country.
Muslims ruin your country.
When they get more than 10% of an area, that area is doomed.
The only thing stupider you can do than that is make guns illegal.
And France is learning that the hard way.
What was it?
Last week we had a...
I should meet you, Censored TV News more.
Last week, we had a head on the road.
A knife crime.
With his fucking mask around his neck still.
Just a head, a human head lying on the road.
Circa, what, the year 700?
No, the year 2020.
That guy's head I've seen lying on a road.
I wonder if they'll show it in Daily Mail.
And then this week, or yesterday, I should say, two more beheadings.
Two more.
Knife attacks.
What?
That's what they're calling.
Oh, what they're calling the knife attack.
It's a potential terrorist.
Remember, there was that guy with the beheading who said, the police have to answer for just shooting a man who was a suspect in a knife attack.
Dude, even just carry your own knife.
Like, this guy goes into the church.
He cuts off an old lady's head.
He cuts off some, you know, volunteer church guy's head.
And then he stabs to death another woman.
And they just, what can they do but run away and scream and call the police?
Police can't get anywhere in less than five minutes.
Maybe the front steps of the police station.
Maybe.
Are they armed?
Yeah, they're armed.
Okay, but not like the jihad.
But yeah, do normal...
No, French police don't normally carry guns.
They have to go to the division.
Oh, I see.
Yeah, like when they did the Charlie Ebdo shooting, the cops showed up, saw that the terrorists, the jihadists, were armed, and left to go get guns.
Same thing with London, too, right?
They have to go to get their guns.
They don't just carry the guns.
What do you mean, London?
Which of the 10 million terror attacks are you talking about?
Well, the police in England, they don't carry guns anymore.
No, they don't.
They carry a truncheon.
A Truncheon.
Okay.
So, guys, you can do one or the other.
You can have lots of Muslims and lots of guns, or no Muslims and no guns.
You can't have lots of Muslims and no guns.
There's a civil war going on.
I read 80% of French people feel that Islam is at war with them.
Not that they were at war with Islam.
They're too big of pussies.
And I think that we here in America, and I'm guilty of this, focus on Islam a little too much on the right.
It's not an issue here.
Socialism is our plague right now.
And that could be getting a fucking super adrenaline boost if Biden wins on November 4th.
And we will be live streaming it here at the studio, following every detail and celebrating when Trump wins.
All right, let's dive into it, shall we?
You think so, Ryan?
Yes.
Are you calling me?
What do you think, Trump?
Should we start the show?
Oh, no.
Huge, huge mistake.
Whoa.
Oh, okay.
Keep it light, I guess.
I don't know what else to say without doing the news, but Trump told me to keep talking.
We're handing out candy on Halloween.
I've got an armed guard at the house.
Just, I don't know why.
I just felt something was going to happen.
And a lot of places are canceling Halloween.
I heard Howard Stern bitching and moaning about how stupid it is.
Take off one Halloween.
You know why Stern says that?
Because he's agoraphobic.
And everyone who is agoraphobic and paranoid feels vindicated.
So they're loving this.
Even my buddy, who's like a survivalist in the woods, we haven't spoken in a long time.
Political shit.
He like hates Trump, whatever.
And he called me thinking I was going to go, well, you were right.
You were right to live in the middle of fucking nowhere in the woods.
And I go, this is all bullshit.
There's been 100,000 deaths.
It's a bad flu season.
And I could tell I broke his heart and he disappeared back into the woods.
I don't know why.
He was the coolest guy in school when we were in high school.
And he's since become less cool, I guess, in his mind.
So he only calls me when he feels like he can be the cool guy again.
And then if it doesn't work, he goes back into hiding.
He has fucking huskies on his property that he does not feed.
What?
They eat deer.
They're wolves, basically.
They forage for their own food.
They're not starving.
They're stuffed.
They're doing great.
They eat raccoons and whatever's around mice.
Occasionally he'll throw them some fucking steak.
Okay, can I start the fucking show yet?
I hate Howard Stern.
What else do I have to say about that?
He feels vindicated.
He's a paranoid loser who's obsessed with therapy.
And even though, like Terry Richardson, he goes every day and he just gets more and more scared of life.
I heard him interviewing Matthew McConaughey.
And Matthew McConaughey was talking about how his dad would hit him upside the head and he was talking about how horrible that must have been.
And I'm thinking, Howard, you got beat up by blacks every day of your adolescence.
A swat upside the head would have taught you how to fight back, you fucking loser.
And maybe you wouldn't need therapy every day.
I like him too, but I don't know if I like him that much.
Okay, I have to be able to start the show now.
Let's see what he says.
I just want them to suffer.
Oh, he just wants us to wait and suffer.
Okay.
The audience or us.
I think he means the subscribers.
Ouch.
I got so much news I want to cover.
But we haven't got the go-ahead.
I want to talk about the riots.
I want to talk about Philadelphia, cops.
I got tons of final videos.
Can someone at home help us with our final video thing?
Make me a Ryan Shut Up, You Don't Have a Dad song, but for the final video.
Me and Holland are going to do it.
The guy who did the boom, boom, boom song.
Yeah, you're all talk, though.
No, we're going to do it this weekend.
Well, this weekend's Halloween.
You need to help me scare.
Oh, yeah.
Bob was going to do girlfriend stuff.
Crad.
Well, I need you for Halloween.
It's our tradition.
And we have to film it.
So you got to set up a GoPro.
Well, can I bring the girl?
Of course.
Okay, cool.
Yeah.
She's not that shitty, stupid, retarded bitch you used to bring by.
Or that fat, ugly one.
Oh, my God.
She's...
Your new girlfriend's hot.
Yes.
And I hope the crazy girlfriend's watching and comes and attacks you.
No, I don't hope that.
I hope your crazy ex.
She could get you back if she just hits you enough times in the face.
You could have an aneurysm on a toilet.
You never know.
Okay, come on, Trump.
You're torturing us here.
You're not a nice person.
I know I'm not, but I want to start my fucking show.
Everybody knows what I'm saying is true.
Holy shit, this guy's brutal.
I'm voting for Biden.
You're fired.
Whoa.
I told you this show would be spooky.
All right.
I'm starting the show.
Yeah, you know what?
Riots in Philadelphia.
So let me get this straight.
Another career criminal like George Floyd.
This guy was even worse than George Floyd.
He held a woman at gunpoint.
I think he assaulted a woman.
He was jailed for hospitalizing her.
And he had threatened to kill another one.
His criminal record is, what's his name again?
Walter Wallace or something?
Anyway, a total fucking scumbag, murderer, comes at a cop with a knife.
And as Sherrod Small puts it, no, a person with mental issues.
Okay.
What do you want me to fucking do as a cop?
I'm going to Jesse James the knife out of his hand?
Boom!
Yeah, life is blazing saddles.
Life is a comedy cowboy movie.
You know how many videos we've seen of people getting shot and getting up and attacking?
Unless you get him right in the heart or you perforate his lungs so much he can't breathe, he's coming at you.
So you have to shoot to kill.
And By the way, who cares how many shots it is?
Like, when you shoot at someone, you want them to die, right?
So, why are they like, it shouldn't have been 10 shots?
What if it was one shot to the chest and he died?
Why do you give a shit?
Rapped about shooting cops as criminal record revealed after he was tragically killed by police.
It was not remotely tragic.
He never should have been born, really.
When you're a career criminal, what you're saying is you never should have been born.
Let's hear him rap.
I don't like because it made me slow.
This hard this shit.
That's kind of like a bad thing.
This all the time, King Mo's off.
Oh, my God.
What?
Okay.
That guy's dope.
They forgot to blank out one of the N-words.
Oh, really?
And they blanked out all the others.
Well, they blanked out that N-word that night in Philadelphia.
So he gets shot as he should have been, not tragically, predictably.
And Philadelphia is on fire still.
But check out this.
I mean, we could do a whole show on all the footage we've seen of that city burning.
But let's just look at this one clip.
There we go.
Look at that.
It looks pretty residential, don't it?
I guess Philadelphia is like that, though.
Guess who's from Philadelphia, statistically?
I don't know if he was born there, but Talib Starks lived there.
Talib Starks, statistically.
And statistically, he's been living there for a long time.
I love that.
I did his show once.
Yeah.
And I was like, I use the N-word the way he does or ghetto blacks do, but super seriously.
Like, a lot of niggas doing this thing now.
He went along with it.
It was pretty funny.
I don't think anyone got it.
Dude, he's great.
Underrated show.
If you recall Talib Starks, you remember what happened with him, right?
He got canceled.
He canceled himself because he knew he was about to get fired because he worked at a juvenile home.
Right.
And he would let them fight.
Yeah.
I'd handle your stuff.
Basically, when they fight.
And he noticed they were just better off.
That was their vocabulary.
It was violence.
So if you two guys are having a fight with each other or you have beef with each other, then I'm going to let you fight.
And so he knew that they were cracking down on that kind of behavior.
So he just said, I'm out before I get canceled.
I can still have my pension.
I'm just going to do my books and my shows.
And isn't that funny that this guy, for probably shit pay, was working in a juvenile home where he was helping wayward youths.
And, oh, there I am.
He was helping wayward youths.
And cancel culture got him out of that profession.
Exactly like St. Giuseppe's Pizza.
Can you hear it?
$40,000.
Oh, there's a lot of things playing at the same time.
Good work, Ryan.
We're just going to do Bo.
Like, what did I talk about yesterday?
The left canceled that pizza place who was helping cops and black people come together.
And the left canceled this man who was working with wayward youth.
And he said to me, speaking of stark, the stark reality of juveniles in his world, why does my hair look so much better there?
For the rest of your life, that's how it's going to go.
And don't talk to white devils.
They come out and you've narrowed all their options down in this tiny little group.
Why would you do that?
What's your wrong about that?
I think you're talking about exactly what you're talking about to him, that they limit all their options.
I'm talking about the talk and this myth that America is racist.
It limits black people.
They can't go be an accountant.
You're going to get shut down.
But yeah, just like St. Giuseppe's prevented, the Antifa and the far left prevented St. Giuseppe from uniting police and blacks.
These fuckers prevented Talib from working with Juveny.
And he said to me once, sorry, I got muddled up there by you ruining the show as usual.
He said, some kids are hopeless, hopeless cases.
So my job is to isolate the ones that have potential and try to rescue them.
Some kids are just bad kids, he said, which is very politically incorrect, right?
You're supposed to say.
You're supposed to say, they're all angels.
They just had a rough time.
Okay, speaking of angelic blacks, check out this fucking clip.
Can you imagine ever punching a cop in the face?
I could imagine sucking a dick before I could imagine punching a cop in the face.
Like, I honestly, I'm not being hyperbolic here.
I literally cannot imagine going up to a cop and going, I could imagine punching an old lady.
I can imagine punching you.
I could beat off to that idea.
But it just doesn't fit.
Bam.
What?
Like, maybe if you're being arrested and you're delirious and you just got tased and you sort of almost involuntarily sort of go, ah, but you just walk up and go, bonk.
What?
Well, I'll be dipped in shit.
Show this footage.
Watch the guy with the white sleeves.
Maybe get me out of the way.
Holy shit.
What?
I think they were...
They didn't jump on him right away because they were stunned.
Thank God they got him.
They sure did.
Gave him a few whacks.
Stick him in the tally whacker.
His dick's probably all cut up.
What, they're holding a bunch of weird-looking golf stick?
We're referring to...
Well, now you got to find it.
We're referring to these Asian grocers in a bodega who are arguing with African-American gentlemen.
And the little girl, poor thing, she's obviously fresh off the boat.
And she's like, I will take a golf stick in the back room and hit you with it.
You can't even wear your pants, right?
And then, And then the kid, he's like, yeah, why are you talking about my dick?
And then the little kid, he's probably like eight, the little Chinese boy, he goes, yeah, your dick's probably all cut up and shredded.
What?
My dick's cut into pieces?
Anyway, we've been quoting it quite a bit here on our off hours, and it's only fair to bring you guys into this inside joke.
That was on which actual public freakouts.
Okay.
Let's see if I can race Ryan to the punch.
Okay, we see.
Okay, so I'm just going to...
First, I'm going to go into my browser here.
I'm just going to put in golf stick Asian bodega.
Oh, that's a good one.
And nope.
Nope.
Bunch of golf stuff.
Okay.
Videos?
No?
Okay.
So Chinese black harass bodega.
Maybe bodegas too.
Nope, not getting anything.
So then I go.
I go in actual public freakouts.
And I just look up Chinese.
That's it.
Just Chinese.
Chinese.
That's what I'm doing.
And there's a lot.
A lot of Chinese.
A lot of Chinese.
This is going back like two weeks, though.
Hmm.
I'm going to search sister.
Oh, well.
Let's spook our subscribers with other news, and you can find that on your own time.
So that was all Philadelphia.
Not the biblical town of Philadelphia we discussed yesterday, but the city of brotherly love, Philadelphia, which is a fucking shithole.
Last time I was there, it was exactly like the homeless had had a Camp David type scenario with the mayor, and the mayor had decided, yes, you can have all of downtown.
Just like if Israel had said, yes, Palestine, you can have Tel Aviv and Jerusalem.
They just run the fucking town.
They have radios out on the sidewalk, dancing around.
They sleep on the street.
You have to step over them with their hand down their pants and like a box of snacks, some leftover chicken.
It's a fucking shithole.
So who cares if it burns down?
I can't believe the guy from Barstool Sports moved there.
Who moves to Philadelphia?
Oh, there it is.
How'd you find it?
Asian kids arguing with black teens.
I just put like Chinese blacks.
Chinese kids.
Those are yours.
Bitch, I saw you got a foreign.
Bitch, they cut it in.
Somebody cut it in.
I got FO.
They cut it.
What is those?
The laces.
You see the shoes and got them on these and ladies' passes.
I'm lying.
It's probably your broken.
Probably your broker ready.
You're probably a broken ready because of violence.
Did he say that's true?
Probably you're broke already.
You can't even wear your pants correctly.
Why the fuck you looking at my dick?
Yeah, but why would I ever look at you?
I would fuck around breaking chew mechanism, dummy.
She's like, I would never look at you.
I'm underage.
Oh, yeah.
Probably ain't got a dick because it's all cut up.
Yeah, you ain't got a dick because it's all cut up.
You know how black dudes are always jabbing at their dicks with scissors?
Oh, they're cutting up pieces of it?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's always like a cut sausage.
But go back to the golf stick.
That was before that when she calls him a lowly beggar.
I would never talk to a lowly beggar like you.
What is them?
What's your hairline, yo?
What is these?
Cut it in.
I got Fool.
I'm flying.
You put that, I think.
This one's very short.
I'm going to go back.
This is the beginning here.
What the short is.
What is them?
What's your hairline, yo?
What is these?
What's your hairline, yo?
I can't afford it.
Braddy, those are yours.
Bitch, I saw you can't afford it.
Bitch, they cut it in.
Somebody cutting it.
I got half of it.
They cut it.
What is those?
The laces.
You see, the shoes that got on these are laid fashions.
I'm blind.
I'm bald.
You're broke already.
You can't even wear your pants correctly.
The autism levels are off the charts there.
You looking at my dick.
I'm the one who flops it like something.
Yeah, but I would have ever look at you.
You're welcome.
Like, you got to learn the slang.
You got to learn the mannerisms.
You got to learn insults.
You got to learn what a golf stick is.
Yeah, it's not on that one.
Anyway, what a waste of time.
She says a lowly beggar, and it's so adorable.
Why would I want to be with someone who is a lowly beggar?
Like, she said that from Aladdin or something, you know?
She's probably like her books.
For fun, she reads Charles Dickens.
A lowly beggar.
That's like her idea of a good time is to read Jane Eyre for Wuthering Heights.
Her mother lets her read Little House on the Prairie for her birthday party.
That's a treat.
A birthday treat.
All right.
So that was...
And then let's jump to DC.
That's 1.5.
Where they have the fucking balls to throw fireworks.
I got to say, as someone doing a video show about the news, it makes for some colorful content.
So I'm against it politically, but visually, I got to say thanks.
People in DC are scary.
Not that she's homeless, but in New York, I've talked about this before.
I just go, no.
And they just step back and go to the next person.
But in DC, I do the same thing.
But I wasn't really well versed in the homeless there.
I do the New York thing.
I go, nah.
And he goes, he goes, you know what my name is?
My name's Paul.
You better remember that fucking name while I'll fuck you in your ass.
You remembered that name, all right?
Paul.
Paul.
Paul is here.
Not forgetting Paul anytime soon.
I think of it when I'm falling asleep when I have the horrors late at night.
Paul, Paul's gonna get me.
Paul, Paul, Paul's gonna get me.
I think you remember it now.
Paul's gonna fuck me.
Paul?
Who fucks sauces?
He fucks sauces.
Eat a dick and die.
Maybe that's why blacks have their dicks all cut up.
Oh, yeah.
Cops eat them.
A dying man doesn't eat.
Even eat blacks' dicks.
Holy.
Look at that.
Wow.
Holy shit.
I'm going to throw a major city firework at a group of cops.
If they had grenades, they would throw them.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Let's try Seattle now.
Oh, this is a trip.
I got a real treat for you folks.
I've been waiting to show you this because I didn't want to do it last night because I wanted to have some time.
So look at the sheer panic in these Trump supporters' faces.
And remember, I always say we don't go to their things, they go to our things.
So a mob of Antifa lunatics chase these Trump supporters into a police van.
The police van then, with the help of motorbikes, escort them to their parking garage.
So here they are in a sense of total and utter panic.
And people say, do you think a civil war is going to break out?
I go, what do you call this?
Right now, I'm too busy making America great again.
No, let's talk some shit on Trump just for a second.
I think he allowed these riots to foment because they showed America how depraved and violent the left is.
He could have shut them down a long time ago, but he knew it was good for his campaign.
He would look like a fascist, though.
He would look like, you know, so that's who we alluded to.
We wanted a fascist.
We got to get in our cars and go immediately.
Immediately.
Do not stop.
Where do you want me?
Eighth of mission up here on the left.
Yes.
On the left?
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah, this parking garage right here.
Right here.
Right here.
Eighth of mission.
Run around.
This is it.
Down in there.
Yeah, go go.
This is where we're going.
Let's floor.
Great.
Third floor.
Third two floors now.
Go.
Like, this is how pedophiles would be, like, Nambla would be escorted to their cars.
They're running to their cars so they can scooch home.
And Antifa is chasing them with the city.
Antifa is like two blocks away.
On foot?
On foot, yeah.
Wow.
So I'm not sure this is the same clip because it appears to be much later, but this is Antifa attacking Trump supporters as they leave a parking garage.
Maybe this was the same day.
It's also Seattle.
So they stop the cars from leaving.
And again, every time Antifa does this, I think, what did you want to happen?
What did you expect was going to happen?
So look.
Oh, just pause, pause, pause.
The Antifa have not just crowded the parking garage to attack them, but their cars are blocking the road.
Wow.
So they can't escape.
So they take off as these people attack their car.
Look at them.
They're always with the backpacks.
What the fuck is your problem?
What do you want me to do?
You're attacking my car.
What the fuck is your problem?
Let me kill you.
Terrible camera work.
Really bad.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
I'm just trying to kill you.
God.
Whoa.
What the fuck?
Listen to his voice.
Whoa, what the fuck?
Jesus.
Evasive tactics when we're trying to block you in and hurt you.
What the hey?
And then this isn't really related.
Just jump over 28 and go to 2930.
This chick, this really should go in final video.
It's nothing to do with rioting.
She was just caught using a fake credit card and they stole her ID.
This is in the Bronx.
No, they know they locked me out of here.
I'm going to jail.
No, please get me out of here, please.
But actually, this is related to the riots.
Because imagine that you get caught committing a crime and you can just call your boyfriend and say, please, please get me out of here.
And imagine thinking that's going to work.
And here's the craziest part.
Spoiler alert, it does.
What?
These fucking dummies, it doesn't occur to them that if someone wants to come into the store, the doors are going to open.
Some dumb Hispanic woman just wanders in, and that makes the doors go open, and she sneaks out.
And I got my ID and everything.
He's serious.
He's trying to quite a steak.
He took my ID.
You didn't lock the doors?
You're just standing there?
Please give me ID.
Look, it's exactly like a spoiled kid.
Is this systemic racism that made her do that?
She had no choice.
She was at PC Richards with fake credit cards buying bread for her children who are starving.
She is a registered accountant, but she couldn't get a job because everywhere's racist.
No, she's not an accountant because she couldn't, because they don't have enough funding in black schools.
Right.
So she couldn't get all the funding.
Get me out of here.
They locked the door and I'm standing right here.
No, they didn't lock the door.
Not properly anyway.
Get me out of here.
Please.
But I don't know why.
Look at that.
Oh, there's the door.
I think it's happening any second now, right?
Yeah.
Look, look at this stupid bitch who just shows up.
Excuse me, I gotta get staples.
Excuse me.
Move.
Lou.
You don't got no gun.
You don't got no gun.
I'm gonna shoot you, he says.
So they catch her.
This is in the Bronx.
Here, click, duck, duck, go.
Pause that.
Click the next link.
30.
I found out where they were.
Because I looked up one of the signs on the awning.
Do you recognize that area?
That's South Bronx, right?
I don't recognize it now.
Well, zoom out, and you will.
Dumbass.
You're still basically at the top of Manhattan.
You're parallel to Harlem.
Right?
Oh, it's the North Bronx.
That's usually kind of nicer, isn't it?
Yeah.
Well, Fordham.
Fordham's not nice?
Nope.
Really?
Bedford Park.
Doodland.
Yeah, Fordham Road?
No.
Not good.
Bad stuff.
Gunhill Road is really bad.
You know, the rental, studio rental space in the Bronx is basically free.
We could have a studio 10 times this size for $1,000?
$800?
So you just spend a bunch of money on your locks and everything.
And insurance.
Anyway, let's get back to this thief.
That coffee you made is gut rot.
I feel like I'm on mess.
These guys must be fast if they can catch a 30-year-old black woman in a running away outfit.
And they're wearing like dress shoes and slacks.
Let me go.
I'm not going to run.
This is like jail when he was fighting us in my front room.
Dude, I'm fine.
Why are you grabbing me?
You know the thing?
Why are you being so mean?
My stinging face tells me otherwise.
Why is your cheek red?
I'm not going to run.
I'm just trying to catch air, she keeps saying.
Catch air.
There's plenty of air.
This is the air that's there.
Better air over there.
The air is over there.
It's breathier on the other side.
Lemmigas panic attack.
Yeah.
This is the thing.
I can't breathe.
This is the thing.
They're just overwhelmed with the situation, so now they can't breathe.
She's looking for a way up.
Let me get some breathe.
Let me get some breathe.
Yeah.
Use the breathe that's right there.
I think the highway breathe is worse than the breathe on the tree.
There's more humans than the highway breathe.
I'm just positioning myself in a way that I may run.
I'm just trying to find a hole.
Stop.
Why are you asking me?
Just because I'm a criminal?
All I did was commit fraud and try to rip off your store with fake credits.
Fake credit cards.
She's thinking, like, can I jump off that thing?
Jump with a thing.
What if I jump?
What if there's a truck that works at a mattress factory and it's going beneath on the whatever that is, the BQE?
And then I can just be sped away and they'll jump off when they get to the mattress factory.
I'm not running.
Okay, now I'm running, but now I'm not.
Before I was not.
I was just running for one second.
You thought I was running before, so I figured why not run?
Because you're already in the middle of the day.
I was just running like three feet this way to get more breath.
Is this why Trump wouldn't let us start the show?
Because we're just going to watch some lying bitch get arrested for an hour.
Well, there we go.
It's taking the cops so long.
I guess, you know what they're doing?
This is New York.
So I guess what they're doing is what I've talked to cops and they say the unwritten rule now is show up late and take down the case number.
It'll be resolved by then, yeah.
Just fill out a form.
Don't get involved.
Don't get indicted.
Wasted everybody's time right there.
Like the cops got it.
Like four cops got to come out there, stop what they're doing.
Speaking of racism, I thought this was fascinating.
So 1619 is this project.
And I think the whole thing is based on a typo.
The woman who runs it, this is 3-1.
I forget her name.
She's got bright red hair.
And I believe the six...
That's her there.
Go down a bit.
That's her there.
Her name is Nicole Hannah-Jones, right?
She started this 1619 project, got tons of money to discuss the quote-unquote fact that the American Revolution was spurred by people who wanted to keep slaves.
And they were told they can't keep slaves.
So they started the American Revolution.
And Ergo, America is founded on slavery.
I think she was fucking up the American Revolution with the Civil War.
She got confused.
Oh, no way.
Yeah.
Oh, snap.
She now, she now, no, go up.
So that people go, I think you're thinking of about 100 years later.
And she goes, oh, no, she meant to say that some of the colonists fought to preserve slavery.
Not all of them.
She got the wrong war.
And they threw her millions of dollars to do this project.
It's as inept as the Lincoln project.
Go up a bit?
The head of the New York Times, much hyped, oh, the New York Times chose her too.
It's a New York Times project.
Concedes she got it wrong when she reported that one of the primary reasons the colonists revolted against England was to preserve the institution of slavery.
Wow.
You know, those Confederate soldiers in the American Revolution?
Seven months later, she admits she got it wrong.
Too late.
They got the money.
They got the project.
Remember, we always talk, too, about how the left sees blacks as pets.
So the New York Times hired her as a pitbull.
But sometimes your dogs are bad, and you have to discipline them.
So 50 Cent said, I like Trump, and Chelsea Handler disciplined him.
And I had to remind him that he is a black person, so he can't vote for Trump.
And the amazing thing is it worked.
And 50 Cent went, oh, oh, and changed his vote back to anti-Trump.
And finally, under the topic of racism, it is now illegal in Scotland to have a racist discussion at a dinner party.
So if your grandfather says, see these bloody wogs coming in here, there's way too many of them.
See these fucking Pakis, by the way.
You don't go, grandpa.
First of all, it's an offensive term.
And you got to change your fucking politics, dude.
Like anyone would say that.
Nice tartan tie, fucking Yousef.
But now what you do is you call the police.
Hello, police.
My grandfather is here at Thanksgiving dinner, and he just said something racist.
How is that different from Stalinist Russia?
That's Soviet.
We are living in Soviet Russia, where you live in constant fear of your own relatives.
I remember a Russian guy told me once who grew up in the USSR, he said, you end up with these sort of quotas as an informant.
And if you don't turn someone in, then you're in trouble.
So people only meet so many people a day, so they end up turning in their own family members.
So you're sitting at dinner constantly paranoid about your uncle or your sister or your mother turning you in.
So it sows this sense of fear and paranoia that cripples the population where they feel unsafe in their own homes.
It's like imagine being deprived 100% of all your freedoms.
And you go, well, that's Scotland.
They're nuts.
Nothing like that will ever happen here.
Oh, really?
Check out this gut-wrenching video that the NRA put out.
This is 2.8 about the McCloskeys.
Who, by the way, yes, they're wealthy.
They bought this house right after they were married, and it was a dump.
St. Louis had all these beautiful buildings totally abandoned.
That thing was covered in soot.
It was a garbage hut.
And they scrubbed the walls and rebuilt it from scratch.
So yes, it's a fancy mansion.
It was not handed to them.
They essentially built it, or I should say rebuilt it.
On the patio, when I stood out there in front of that crowd with my rifle, I had no expectation of surviving the event.
It's hard for me to think about it now because we would be dead had he not acted.
The one man with one rifle against a mob of 500, you can't win, but we weren't going to die laying down.
And that's what the Second Amendment is all about.
When the mob came to our door, the only thing that saved our lives, our home, and our family was the Second Amendment.
We're going to fight like hell to keep it.
Have you noticed when they show footage of this, it's like three people on his front lawn?
Yeah.
This is the first time I've seen or even knew that the mob was that fucking huge.
And it was not on the way to the mayor's.
They went out of their way to go to rich people's houses to burn them down and possibly kill them.
Take my gun out of my cold, dead hands.
I'm Mark McCloskey.
I live in St. Louis, Missouri.
I'm Patty McCloskey.
Mark and I have been married for 35 years.
Patty and I met down in Dallas when we were both going to law school, and we've been married now since 1985.
You bought this house in 1988.
We wouldn't trade it for anything.
We have got 32 years of our life, our energy, our love in this house.
We started hearing the mob come closer and closer and closer and the drum beats and the chanting and the screaming.
And all of a sudden all of Kings Highway from wall to wall, we're talking six lanes wide, filled with people.
Six lanes wide, filled with people.
Screaming, shouting, chanting.
Whose streets are streets?
No justice, no peace.
You can't stop the revolution.
All of a sudden the gate bursts open.
One part gets pulled open, the other half gets folded down to the ground, and the people start rushing in.
I genuinely thought that if I didn't take some action within moments, I'd end up like Captain Dorne or any of the other people in St. Louis whose buildings were destroyed and looted and burned to the ground.
There's a lot of stuff in here, including us, that I didn't feel like having burned up.
I went in the house.
I called 911.
They just broke in the gates.
They're coming at us.
Mark had a Mossberg pump gun on the counter.
I mean, he had set out guns.
He had set out fire extinguishers.
But I never thought that I'd have to touch one.
I never thought.
I wasn't going to touch a Mossberg pump gun.
I thought.
I know in this drawer right by the front desk, there's an exhibit gun there.
I'll grab that.
When it all happened, I said, this is the end.
This is the end.
My daughter had a damn...
Imagine the nightmares?
Brown, out of fear.
When I got the gun and I started toward the front door, she said, oh my God, both of my parents are going to die right now.
Her daughter had a panic attack and fainted.
I mean, she became debilitated.
Her adrenaline overwhelmed her and her body just shut down with fear.
She was up on the grass in front of me, between me and the mom, waving this little Bryco pistol over her head, which she knows doesn't work, okay, because it was a gun we had used in litigation that had been intentionally disabled, right?
They saw me.
Just pause.
She was charged for that.
That's crazy.
For dismantling the gun, because they had her turn it in as evidence, and they go, wait a minute, this gun has been dismantled.
And she goes, yeah, it was dismantled years ago.
Screaming things at me, death threats, and the crowd is still chanting and screaming and talking about wanting to murder us, burn down the house, even kill our dog.
I don't want to kill anybody, I don't want to hurt anybody.
But, you know, by the same token, I wanted to protect my home, my wife, my daughter, and my wife of us.
No, no, keep playing that.
Physically go over there and get it.
Oh, okay.
I have every expectation of dying if I didn't fight the mob.
I have every expectation of dying if I didn't.
Yeah, you're right.
It never occurred to me in my life that we would ever have a mob of people that would feel so emboldened to come to people's homes where I would have to have a gun and they're going to take whatever you spent your 35 years on and they're going to ruin it.
They're destroying it because they can.
Patty and I have both now been charged with two felonies, okay?
The three to 500 people that broke down our gate and came in here on June 28th, none of them are charged with anything.
But they're prosecuting us for defending ourselves to say we're not going to take it.
And if they're coming to our neighborhood and they're breaking through our gates, they're going to go through anybody's neighborhood.
And they have proclaimed they're going to do it.
But we just saw them in Philadelphia.
Because your children are there, and this is the heart of your family.
And I know women can do this.
I know they have it in them.
I had it in me, and so will you.
When they came back that Friday, if we didn't have cover from the federal government, if we didn't have the backing by the White House, you'd be standing on a pile of cinders right now.
There's no question about it.
Without President Trump, we would not be here today.
He's got so many more important things to do than us.
These people in St. Louis that have this little problem.
And yet somehow, he focused his attention on us.
And it was spectacular what he did.
It was spectacular.
I think that Donald Trump genuinely believes in his heart the power is with us, the people of the United States, and that when the government tries to take too much power, the people have the right to pull that power back in, not defund the police, but depower the government and put the power back in the hands of the people.
It's patriotic to defend your home, your family, and your country.
America is the best country on earth.
It's worth fighting for.
That's the heaviest video I've ever seen.
Sick.
I almost cried at the end there.
Can you fucking believe that they were charged?
This is America if Biden wins.
People getting charged for defending their homes.
People getting charged for not allowing someone to murder them.
What did you think that mob was going to do?
They were going to burn their house to the ground, likely kill them, maybe just kick the living shit out of them and hospitalize them where they're in a coma for two months.
Maybe.
That would be the best case scenario.
They claim they were just making a shortcut.
There's plenty of video there.
Plenty of people you could charge.
No, no charges.
The McCloskeys were charged, and Trump had them drop the charges.
That is the spookiest part of this whole show, by the way.
Fucking spooky.
Alright.
I'm showing you how this mask is made.
That's kind of cheating.
I'm ruining that magic.
Is that right?
Pretty cool, huh?
Yeah.
It was 40 bucks at Party City.
Not bad.
I know it's not quite as scary when I talk like this.
If you want to get really spooky, Ryan, let's talk about your lack of fatherhood and how that means you don't have a voice.
Spooky!
The mailbag, in other words, genius.
Oh, I see.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
Okay.
I don't know why I put this fucking thing back on.
Yeah, weird time to do that.
I know.
Well, I thought the good thing with the mailbag is it's on my computer and it lights up.
Sure.
So it's easier to read.
Gavin Ryan, I've stumbled across the possibly the gayest short film I've ever seen.
The comments on a ridiculous too.
It's like rich white women have a fetish for feminizing men.
I could barely watch two minutes before I finally realize the only way I can watch this is if my favorite toads comment on it.
Hey, he spelt toads, T-D-O-A-D-S.
We should have done that on the shirt.
I feel like I'm a T-D-O-A-D.
Toad.
Dude.
I'm a toad.
I feel like I'm a toad.
Isn't that weird?
We had Dinesh on the show.
We showed him the shirt and he didn't do anything.
He proceeded to say the word toad a lot.
Yeah, he just goes, oh, that reminds me of my toad argument.
Yes, of course it reminds me of it.
I feel like I'm a toad.
The direct reference.
Ryan, shut up.
What are you doing, Ryan?
That is crazy.
Dinesh thinks he's a toad.
Dinesh, I hope you realize that when you're 90 and you become senile, you're going to start saying that and thinking you're a toad.
Because your wires are going to get all crossed.
What if I were to say I want to be a toad?
The eyebrows.
Okay, so show the film.
Here we go.
Oh, a coppola.
Who's Christian Coppola?
I know Sophia.
I would like to order some food, please, Manuel.
Even things.
Yeah.
We'll start with an order of the spaghetti bolognese.
Yum.
Tea sandwiches with the crusts on.
Do not cut the crusts.
Oh, yes, two orders of French fries, Tabasco on the side.
And I like that donor chest.
Yeah.
I wish mine was like that.
It was less sort of fuzzy.
Had directions to it.
Ah, yes.
An order of chocolate mousse.
And a bottle of the san-cerre, the Lucien Crochet San-Cerre, please?
Yes, sir.
Would that be order?
Okay, boring, skip ahead.
We've already had our luck.
I'm serious.
You look very sharp.
Is that his dad or his lover?
Did you love her?
Okay, skip ahead.
This is boring, dude.
Oh, maybe the son is dressing up like the mother who died.
Oh, and then he...
He pretends she's still alive.
What a great thing to do for your dad.
To be your mom.
I wonder if we were the same age, how we would get along.
Famous moments.
Oh, no.
So he has a boy prostitute?
And he pretends it's his wife?
Fuck you.
You.
God, what a pile of shit.
I'm not mad at the writer who sent this in, the subscriber.
That was great.
Thanks.
But that was fucking lame and disgusting and shitty and literally gay.
That was akin to, what's it called?
That thing that we watched.
David, yeah, the dad rape movie.
Johnson's, yeah.
This is from David.
He goes, they're not even pretending anymore.
Oregon official dressed as clown.
Yes, we just talked about that.
Weren't you watching the show?
Rape.
Sheesh.
Yeah.
You should have got it in your time machine and unsent your email.
Hey, Gavin, and fuck you, Ryan.
Get your shit together before the episodes.
And then he quotes my father and says, pathetic.
In your Final Destination episode, you mentioned how movies are interchanging female or black actors in remakes of old movies.
Something I noticed is a lack of diversity in roles playing Nazis.
They only cast white actors in these roles, which sounds kind of racist to me.
It's 2020 and this is unacceptable in today's age.
Let's be anti-racist and get more bi-POC people, BIPOC people, cast as Nazis.
Yes, I agree.
And also, while we're doing these remakes, let's do Martin Luther King story played by Conan O'Brien.
We'll cut his hair short, give him a little mustache, and he can be Martin Luther King.
That seems reasonable, no?
Hey, I was thinking, by the way, for this Christmas, let's start a program to push Santa on the Jews.
Jews in California that I know do the presents with Santa.
He's not Jesus Christ.
You're not contradicting your religion by having Santa bring toys.
Do it on the 24th.
Do it on the 26th if you're so freaked out.
Jesus wasn't even born on the 25th.
We stole that from the fucking pagans.
These guys, Sam Hain, Halloween.
We stole it from the pagans because we thought it would help get more pagans over to Christianity.
So it's already a scam.
I'm not demeaning Christianity.
I'm not demeaning Jesus.
I'm just saying that you can bend the rules, Jews.
And they do in California.
Jews have Santa come by with presents.
Hannuka sucks.
You get one shitty present a day.
What is it?
A cell phone charger?
Thanks a lot.
So, Jews for Santa.
That's going to be our December campaign.
Hey, Gavin Rice Guy, check out this article.
It's discussing a piece of legislation introduced in Scotland.
Yes, we've already discussed that.
Thank you very much.
Come on, man.
Dear Sir G of Trumpland, just got told an idea for a movie I thought I'd throw to you.
Why?
What am I going to do with it?
The last movie I made is Rotting on a Shelf.
Premise, have illegal aliens hunt down sexual predators in order to win citizenship.
You could call it AVP, aliens versus predators.
It might actually be better than the original movie the same name.
That's a great idea.
Wow.
By the way, my t-shirt idea, I'd like someone out there to do it for us.
It says in big letters, super predator.
And it has the predator, but he's got a superhero cape on.
That's pretty great.
Wouldn't that be cool to wear?
It's another one of those subtly anti-left, anti-Hillary, anti-Biden shirts, but you wouldn't know it at first glance.
It's kind of like an inside joke.
Find one where he's sort of standing triumphantly.
Good posture.
Yeah, that kind of thing.
He's always got great posture.
He does have a lot of stuff.
He never slouches.
Look at all these.
Betters don't slouch.
The newest, newest one of those is a really good family movie, believe it or not.
Yeah.
Yep.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
A kid solves the day.
An autistic kid.
Did I say solves the day?
Solves the day.
Saves the day.
Dear Sir G of Trumpland, I just got a told an idea for a movie.
Oh, we already said that.
Sorry.
I'm having trouble seeing through this black cloth.
Brother, sister, this one says.
That one we watched last night?
That was the call-in one.
With the brother and sister that are step-sister, step-brother?
Oh.
That is so weird.
That's all the mail we got.
We actually...
Catrutre?
Catrutre?
Catrutrei?
No.
Oh, no, there's a million-man.
We have a million more.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, hundreds.
We have hundreds of unread mails.
That's why we have dear censored on censored.tv.
Ham's beer is better than bud.
Lick my dick.
Robert.
Dear Gay and Gayer, here are some video drops I think you guys would like.
In the one with Trump, I sent two because I didn't know which one you'd like more.
P.S. My YouTube channel was just terminated with no reason given other than they received a complaint and didn't know if your name was CARE or not.
I got it.
All right.
Here's one.
Suck my cock, Gary.
It's not about sex.
Okay, pretty good.
Nah.
Proud of you, boys.
We already have that one.
I'm in charge.
Bend over.
I like it.
That's good.
You got to be proud of you, boys.
They're doing a great job.
You got that in twice.
Extended, sure.
Oh, you're a senator?
You want to be president?
Bend over.
Nah.
And like a former president, screws you in the ass.
Okay.
Got one out of five.
Gavin Rai, you mentioned you had never seen the cops run away from perpetrators.
Here is why.
Breaking, obtained by Fox 29 News, directive from Philly Police executive team.
Extremely frustrated officers, both patrol and commanders, told me overnight they were ordered to not arrest looters, just disperse them.
Car 2 is Deputy Police Commissioner Melvin Singleton.
By the order of Car 2, Philadelphia Police will respond to priority calls only.
This means no calls for disturbance, missing person, stolen vehicle, burglary, or theft will be answered.
Some complaints will be false.
That's amazing.
Unbelievable.
And what are you doing, by the way, when you tell cops not to arrest thieves?
You're putting them in danger.
Why have them on the streets?
Why put them out there if they can't do their job?
What's the point?
They're just sitting targets.
I think this is someone saying, proud of your boy.
Dear General McInnis and God Emperor of the Fag Zone caught this guy, Don, doing a little 40, 45 at today's rally in Arizona.
Heel sunglasses, BFET, Proud of Your Boy.
BFET.
Let's see it.
And we have it 25-30, 35-40, 45,000.
40, 45, 40, 40, 45.
G-Dog and Riceman.
As far as I can tell, the Proud Boys graffiti showed earlier was just retaliation for covering the graffiti that was previously there.
If you notice, they covered the same guy with the gay art installation and he came back and ruined it for them.
Nothing to do with Proud Boys, just someone being a dick.
Oh, that's the before here.
And then here's the after.
Yeah, it's the same graffiti artist.
It's the same tag, right?
I can never tell with these fucking stupid bubble letters.
Yeah, it's the same guy.
So the reason he said Trump or Die and Stand Back and Stand By is because he was pissed off at whoever erased his graffiti.
And he knew that that would offend them.
And he knew that was, yeah, something that bothers them.
That makes a little bit more sense there, shitty loser journalists at the New York Post.
This is the government.
Let's see.
Now I have to see who that was.
Well, here's the governor.
A lady.
Governor of South Dakota.
Oh, yeah, we're familiar with her.
She's a smoke show.
She's a badass shooting gun.
She's a smoker.
Now I want to see that New York Post thing.
Because every time I look up these, especially when it's municipal New York City stuff, it's some kid.
And my theory is Leo O'Neill.
Yeah, I knew it.
Google image him.
He's always writing about the Proud Boys.
Oh, wait, no.
That's not who I thought it was.
This guy?
Let's see.
Which one is it?
It's probably the first one there.
New York Post.
And you'll discover that she used to be at like Ryan always.
Freelance journalist.
Always put names in quotes, dumbass.
Sorry.
Now click on her.
Let's see.
I bet she was at like Teen Vogue or some shit.
I can't read that guy.
Flash News, Vice, New York Post.
This is her.
Freelance, Join.
Weiss, Gizmodo.
Oh, she's Australian.
So some dumb Australian fucking glitter bitch.
I just made up that term.
Glitter bitch.
Doesn't get how graffiti works and just assumes that proud boys are out there doing tags, tagging up the joint.
So half-assed.
So yeah, my theory is that papers like the New York Post, they see municipal politics as below them.
So for the city pages, they give it to the interns and the youngsters who just started.
Gutentag G. Meister and Ryan Fagatino de la Fagzona.
I learned English by reading Vice around 2004.
I'm an English teacher now, so thanks.
And I'm currently assembling my favorite Vice issues via eBay.
What are your top five vice issues of all time?
Also, regarding the cover, because I will frame them.
Greetings from Germany.
I want to make waffles for your with my hello kitty waffle maker while fornicating with you with my heels on your gorgeous hunk Mike Gallo.
Please tell Ryan he is master of his craft.
Okay, let's make that the last one.
I won't love it, but I'll kiss.
My favorite vice issues.
I'm going to have to go with definitely the cops one.
That springs to mind.
And people think that this shit we're doing is new.
But I've been loving cops for a long ass time.
I would know this is one of the oldest symbols.
So the cops issue.
Oh, shit.
It's not listed here.
It was newer than that.
It was really the last issue that I worked on.
So I would say the cops issue, it says, I forget what issue it is.
It would be after.
Oh, this only goes to 2000.
After 9-11?
Yeah, after 9-11.
What is that?
Got a video game over there?
That was weird.
Maybe this has more?
Ah, shit.
I'm wasting everyone's fucking time, as usual.
Alright, we're just going to have to go with the dome.
So I would say the special issue, where we had all special people do the...
I had retards.
No, I won't say retards, but actual people with special needs.
I had special needs people guest edit and contribute to the issue.
They did the whole thing.
The fashion shoot was them.
It was called the special issue.
Also, the cops issue.
It's just called We Heart Cops on the front.
It's called the Cops issue.
That was a winner.
I like the Dash Snow one where he's on the cover and his tattoo is full out.
Oh, and then there's the Coke issue where I had a reflective cover and a line of Coke on it.
That was a good one.
And then, of course, there's articles.
Obviously, the Vice Guide to Eating Pussy was the greatest thing Vice ever put out.
That was me.
And I think there was a do's and don'ts issue that was all do's and don'ts.
That was a good one.
Anyway, let's get to the final video.
Please send us.
Oh, no, you're doing the song.
Yes.
Yes.
Let's start with 3-5.
This is a...
I noticed the celebrations for the Dodgers is very Hispanic.
Her head took 100% of that fall.
Oh, my.
She's out.
She's completely unconscious.
That can't feel good.
You notice women don't fall well?
No, they don't.
Jerry fall well?
Like, I'm no cat, but I feel like I would have somehow got my feet down before me on that scenario.
And I'm so sick of people climbing up on cars and shit.
You're going to wreck the car.
Like, you're going to leave a permanent dent.
Maybe in the 70s you could do that, but now cars crumple when you stand on them, even on the hood.
This is a funny one.
Barstool guy who moved to Philadelphia.
Nice timing, dude.
But I thought this was interesting because she's doing this because of her God, the real God.
She's a Christian.
And he's doing it.
Well, he's probably an atheist, Jewish guy, gino.
But his God is his art.
And so he's doing this to push the boundaries of his art and to entertain us.
And she's doing it because she respects God's creations and she's being reverent to Christ.
So it's two people with totally different motives.
One's doing a bit, one's doing a prayer.
Check it out.
John 17, it says, These words Christ Jesus has lifted up his eyes to heaven and said, Father, the hour is done, glorify thy son, that thy son also may glorify thee.
And thou hast given him power over all flesh.
Isn't it weird?
Yeah.
They're both committing because for totally different reasons.
So she's like, go ahead.
We can hug all day.
I love Christ.
I love you.
I love all of God's creations.
And he's like, I'm going to do a really funny joke here.
He's kind of mocking Christianity, too.
Sure, sure.
But like, the longer the better.
And both, like, I don't even care if this is a joke.
You want to do a joke?
Fine.
It's going to get real.
I hug people.
It probably gets real at a certain point where you're just like, who am I?
Well, I think his face is weird at the end.
Yeah.
Because I think though he's cold and cruel and calculated, he actually got a fight.
It got in.
Yeah, it did.
Oops.
It did.
Oops.
He's almost crying.
He is.
Whoopsie-doopsie.
Okay, I've tried, I've been saving this forever, guys.
This is the last one.
I tried to get Theron Meyer on the show because I was going to ask her this exact question.
But she's kind of retired from politics, so I can't get a hold of her.
But this is, so this is, trans now means ugly nerd, white male who can't get laid and has decided to pretend he doesn't want to get laid by making himself totally unfuckable.
That's what trans now means.
So this is just a room of said demographic, ugly white male nerds who can't get laid and want to make themselves unfuckable as an excuse, discussing this silly trend like it has any kind of merit whatsoever.
Giving people either a role model or example of the trans community.
Well, there are a lot of trans people who were living their lives stealth and were not at all happy about trans activism having this big moment wherever was going on.
They were perfectly happy with having a lot of people.
This is a thing.
People have their phones out when they ask a question now.
I guess they're recording themselves?
Why?
And I sort of get why they would feel that way because I understand that you feel like I'm done with this.
I don't want to think about it anymore.
But on the other hand, my personal feeling about this is that it's necessary.
If this is going to be a movement of any kind at all, if you're going to organize for your interests, for your recognition, for your rights, you kind of want to name it.
I guess astrology would be a little more boring.
At least, you know.
Okay, so go forward a bit.
I just put that in to show you the kind of vibe.
But this autistic dude...
Okay, pause.
So my favorite show, I watch with my daughter all the time, What We Do in the Shadows.
It's an amazing vampire show.
And one of the vampires, what the hell is his name?
Robert Williams or something.
And he doesn't suck blood.
He sucks the energy out of a room.
And he says things like, are you working hard or hardly working?
And people just go, oh, he's just like such a bummer, an energy succubus.
And yeah, what's his name again?
Let's see.
Robert.
Known as the hunting ground.
Hi, Deb.
Energy vampires drain people's energy merely by talking to them.
Actual versus budget year to date.
No, thanks.
You're going to be at that all day.
We either bore you with a long conversation.
Feeling better now.
I was a little sick this weekend.
Hey, Don.
Don!
I have to pee too.
Or we enrage you.
In fact, you probably know an energy vampire.
We're the most common kind of vampire.
He's the least funny part of the show when he's on.
Wow.
We are daywalkers, not affected by the sun.
And we are the only kind of vampire that can drain another vampire's energy.
Very cool.
The power grows stronger in him by the night.
So this guy is clearly an energy vampire.
And see if you cannot fall to the ground in exhaustion with this guy.
Make sure you get the very beginning of him, too.
Can you see that hot chick in the background dying?
Hi, my name is Franz Kurtzki.
I'm a fourth-year philosophy student here at UBC.
I've been, I think fair to say, very involved in the free speech activism on this campus.
Activism.
And I have a question for you.
You've sort of.
Please be patient.
It's going to take a couple words to get this out.
So, you've talked about, you just briefly mentioned gender-neutral pronouns.
And you also talked about, you were a little bit critical, I think, about Jordan Johnson.
So, very briefly, I started a theater course recently, an elective course here at UBC.
And I think it's important to keep talking about what we're talking about.
I'm here for the same reason a lot of people are, which is that I think there's something like a free speech movement being created on the campuses.
This is a question.
The reason for that is that young men in particular, although there's wonderful, but many wonderful red-pilled women here tonight, thank you, are kicking back for the right.
You mentioned that it's not always, that there's a content when you're talking about free speech.
And the content for me, and for a lot of people, I think, it's the right to criticize the distortions and the excesses and some of the technical inaccuracies in the narrative of third.
Yeah, well.
Ask it.
Oh, okay.
Life's complex, you know.
You're asking a question.
Ask them a question.
Yeah, he was.
I'm sorry, I've been diagnosed in the autism spectrum several times.
That might be the issue.
Just let her let him finish the question.
Like that Asian chick, she's dead.
I'm trying to make a point sensitively.
Oh, God.
Because there's different groups of people.
They made it worse by interrupting him.
Now he's defending his question.
He doesn't exist.
He's off track.
He's going to get back on track.
Yeah, you want me to be blunt, so I'll put it on blunt.
Here's the deal.
I like how I think that we're not talking about enough about the campus issues, because this is a talk having on the campus in the middle of a kind of a culture war.
And at the core of that are issues, let's use one example, gender-neutral pronouns.
Okay?
Is that satisfying?
So what I wanted to ask you about is this.
My thought on this, so I was in the theater course and we start the course, it's about culture, and we start the question.
I want this to be a safe space, says the professor.
I want all you to give your pronouns as we introduce each other, says the professor.
So the question is, with situations like that, I want to ask your questions about policy and culture of how we're going to move forward with this.
The reason why I think this matters is because trans individuals, biological males, biological females who identify with the other side, and that's, yeah, again, it's a touch issue, right?
I don't want to...
Let me get to the question, please.
I am asking a question.
Is he trolling?
We are playing.
The question is, how are we going to...
Is he trolling?
I don't, like, is he so committed to the bit that he bought those glasses?
I mean, look what we're doing.
Yeah, this is a Halloween episode of an entertainment show.
I mean, look what he's wearing.
I don't know.
It looks crisp, you know what I mean?
That's a brand new.
Look at it.
Yeah.
Those are all brand new things.
It looks like one of the modern stylists in movies that you talk about.
Trust him.
But the look in his eyes when he's delivering this looks real.
Hmm.
I like how they're all playing pretend, but they're even sussing this guy out.
Like, no, we're all playing pretend.
This is all just a transition.
You're doing a different type of pretend.
We're more committed to our trans bit than you are to your autistic troll bit.
This is like the failed version of the barstool versus the religious woman hug.
Deal with this.
Because for me, using she, using her, these kind of things to refer to biological males, biological females who identified with or aspired to be the other side was a previous societal accommodation.
It was a kindness, it was a generosity.
But it does not change their evolutionary biological status as technically biologically male or female.
So do we...
What do you think about that?
So I think his question is saying that you identify, like if I say I identify as she, her, that doesn't make sense because I'm a guy.
Oh, so you're not.
That's it.
It's like basically what your dad would say.
Right.
There's something wrong with that.
So the quality theory of evolution gained traction.
People used gendered pronouns without any difficulty, without any awareness of the formal role of sex in human evolution.
I don't think that evolutionary biology pertains to the use of pronouns in the English language in any respect.
People mix gender and sex all the time, and I think that's a mistake.
Sex, I think, is what pronouns refer to.
And when you use alternate sex pronouns for people who are trans, that is a generosity.
That is a kindness extending.
I agree with him.
In what situations, does sex determine what pronouns you use?
In what situations?
Yes.
The situation of being biologically born into one sex or the other.
So what's biological sex chromosomes?
Well, general.
Again, there are fine distinctions there, but most of the time that's not what we're talking about when we're talking about neutral pronouns.
I don't check your blood to make sure you're X, Y before you want to eat.
I don't say, pull down your pants, everyone.
I don't know what pronouns exactly.
There's a certain like...
There will be tests to learn.
I'll end the topic.
So the final question for me to leave with you, Lewis.
Yes, Louis.
There will be time out there to speak one-on-one when it comes to these long conversations.
Sure.
For the interest of time and for the other people who have questions.
Look at Sarah.
She's dying.
Hi there.
I want to hear you.
Wow.
So I wanted to get her on the show and say, now, I want to ask you something.
And this is, be patient.
It's going to take some time.
I was taking a theater class at the beginning of the class, and they wanted people to, and there's a lot of great people here.
There's a lot of, well, there's Ryan's here, and, you know, God bless him, red-filled guy.
You know, I'm trying to be sensitive here.
I'm trying to be sensitive.
And I just, there's A thing where you know, for a long time, and you know, when I say time, I'm talking about like the past hundred years or so.
And we, we, and just see if I could suck the energy out of it.
Just for waste time, just filibuster, get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
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