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Oct. 8, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:17:39

GOML LIVE #68 - THE VICE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES

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	Get off my lawn.
	You can make it with the body.
	And I'm close up to you.
	We lost Eddie yesterday, so we'll be going through what I consider to be their hits, what everyone considers to be their hits, everyone who's sane.
	That was running with the devil from their 1978 epinomis debut entitled Van Halen.
	Eddie was 22 at the time.
	Gene Simmons had discovered him a year before, but Gene Simmons' people said this band sucks and they're not going anywhere.
	And Gene said, well, fuck you.
	Two years later, they were with Warner Brothers.
	Sorry, I believe the next year they're with Warner Brothers and did very well for themselves.
	I count 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13 hits.
	12 hits.
	12 or 13 hits.
	We're here to cover the debate with Kamala Harris, a black woman who grew up in the hood of Montreal and is very dope and knows all kinds of black stuff.
	So finally, we have a black woman for president, just like the black Hawaiian we had for eight years.
	Can you guys get an actual black person to be a black person for once?
	And of course, Mike Pence, the man who famously has decided to cure homosexuality using electricity.
	We're looking forward to that.
	Gays are annoying and electricity is cheap.
	But before we get started, we'd like to thank Bet DSI for bringing you this episode.
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	Bet on the 2020 debates tonight and the election with me.
	My money is obviously all on Trump.
	It will be a landslide, though the left will not accept it for...
	That's the only interesting thing to me.
	The left won't accept it until January 40th.
	That's my official prediction.
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	Bubba and Hanks, I spoke to recently, and they have meet on the way to me, which is what hot chicks say at club night when they fucking ready to rock.
	Okay, not all complaints will be jokes.
	So let's get started.
	I'm so excited.
	Sometimes the complaints will be false.
	Boy, he was good at jokes.
	Still is.
	So is this Sandy Page?
	Small and socially distant audience, and we've taken extra precautions during this pandemic.
	Among other things, everyone in the audience is required to wear a face mask, and the candidates will be seated 12 feet apart.
	The audience is enthusiastic.
	This moderator is writing a book called Nancy Pelosi Fucking Rocks.
	At the end of the debate, and now when I introduce the candidates, please welcome California Senator Kamala Harris and Vice President Mike Pence.
	She's writing a book on anti-politics.
	Thank you.
	Senator Harris and Vice President Pence, thank you for being here.
	We're meeting as President Trump and the First Lady continue to undergo treatment in Washington after testing positive for COVID-19.
	We send our thoughts and prayers to them for their rapid and complete recovery and for the recovery of everyone afflicted by the coronavirus.
	This is from Robbie Starbuck.
	Don't expect much fairness from the moderator of tonight's VP debate, Susan Page.
	She literally just wrote Nancy Pelosi's biography, Modern Madam Speaker, and the lessons of time.
	One note.
	No one in either campaign or at the commission or anywhere else.
	If I was a woman, I'd be worried about my neck.
	What topics I'll raise or what questions I'll ask.
	That's why they work with me.
	This 90-minute debate will be divided into nine segments.
	I'm already kind of buzzed.
	I'll begin a segment by posing a question to her.
	69 minutes to answer without answering by me.
	Yeah.
	69.
	Then we'll take 69.
	Do you think this woman is ever 69?
	Yeah.
	At that point, although there will always be a moment.
	It wasn't her idea, but she did it.
	No, she did not.
	Never once.
	You gotta understand, Ryan, there's different generations.
	Like, you're from the porn generation.
	So you're like, you're 69 with your dad.
	That is civil.
	Just for fishing.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Tumultuous times.
	For my generation, Gen X, we were sort of just figuring out kooky stuff.
	But like boomers.
	Let's begin with the ongoing pandemic that has cost all the time.
	Yeah, and not the flower children.
	I bet she's had three lovers in her life.
	I thought She had three lovers today.
	Like those flower children.
	Hippies.
	Johns Hopkins reports that 39 states.
	Hippies were a tiny fraction of the boomerang the week before.
	Maybe like 5 to 10 percent.
	Even if a vaccine is released soon, the next administration will face hard choices.
	What would a Biden administration do in January and February that a Trump administration wouldn't do?
	Would you impose new lockdowns for businesses and schools and hotspots?
	He's in a federal mandate to wear masks.
	You have 15 minutes to respond.
	Hello, what are you doing today?
	Well, the American people have witnessed what is the greatest failure of any presidential administration in the history of our country.
	And here are the facts.
	210,000 dead people in our country in just the last several months.
	Over 7 million people who have contracted this disease.
	One in five businesses closed.
	We're looking at frontline workers who have been treated like sacrificial workers.
	We are looking at over 30 million people who in the last several months had to file for unemployment.
	And here's the thing.
	On January 28th, the Vice President and the President were informed about the nature of this pandemic.
	They were informed that it's lethal in consequence, that it is airborne, that it will affect young people.
	It's not really lethal.
	And that it would be contracted because it is airborne.
	It's affiliated.
	And they knew what was happening and they didn't tell you.
	Can you imagine if you knew on January 28th, as opposed to March 13th, what they knew, what you might have done to prepare?
	They knew and they covered it up.
	The president said it was a hoax.
	They minimized the seriousness of it.
	The president said, you're on one side of his ledger.
	If you wear a mask, you're on the other side of his ledger.
	If you don't.
	And in spite of all of that, today they still don't have a plan.
	He knows.
	I was looking at it up.
	They still don't have a plan.
	Well, Joe Biden does.
	And our plan is about what we need to do.
	But that eye, when he looks that way, he's got like a little pink eye on that.
	He's a contact.
	Pop blood vessel.
	For administration of the vaccine and making sure that it will be free for all.
	That is the plan that Joe Biden has and that I have, knowing that we have to get a hold of what is...
	Shut her up for a second.
	I don't get this obsession with the vaccine.
	We have a flu vaccine.
	We still have the flu.
	And the people who get the flu vaccine and the people who don't both pretty much get the same amount of the flu.
	Vice President Pence-wise.
	210,000 Americans have died of COVID-19 since February.
	The U.S. death toll as a percentage of our population is higher than that of almost every other wealthy nation on earth.
	For instance, our death rate is 2.5 times that of Canada next door.
	You head the administration's coronavirus task.
	Why is the U.S. death toll as a percentage of our population higher than that of almost every other wealthy country?
	And you have two minutes to respond without interruption.
	Susan, thank you.
	And I want to thank the Commission and the University of Utah for hosting this event.
	And Senator Harris, it's privileged to be on the stage with you.
	Okay.
	I don't care.
	You know, our nation has gone through a very challenging time this year.
	But I want the American people to know that from the very first day, President Donald Trump has put the health of America first.
	Before there were more than five cases in the United States, all people who had returned from China, President Donald Trump did what no other American president had ever done, and that was he suspended all travel from China, the second largest economy in the world.
	Now, Senator Joe Biden opposed that decision.
	He said it was xenophobic and hysterical.
	But I can tell you, having led the White House coronavirus task force, that that decision alone by President Trump bought us invaluable time to stand up the greatest national mobilization since World War II.
	And I believe it saved hundreds of people.
	Maybe we did worse than other Western countries because we're so fucking obese.
	We were able to reinvent testing, more than 115 people.
	We haven't thought of that before to date.
	We were able to see to the delivery of billions of supplies so our doctors and nurses had the resources to teach Trump.
	And we began to develop a vaccine and to develop medicines and therapeutics that have been saving lives all along the way.
	And under President Trump's leadership, Operation Warp Speed, we believe, will have literally tens of millions of doses of a vaccine before the end of this year.
	The reality is, when you look at the Biden plan, it reads an awful lot like what President Trump and I and our task force have been doing every step of the way.
	I mean, quite frankly, when I look at their plan that talks about advancing testing, creating new PPE, developing a vaccine.
	Wait, creating new PPE?
	It looks a little bit like plagiarism.
	Birth, pro-life.
	That's something Joe Biden knows a lot.
	No, he means urine.
	I think the American people know.
	This is a president who has put the America first, and the American people, I believe with my heart, can be proud of the sacrifices they have made.
	It's saved countries.
	This is going to be a boring debate.
	I can already tell.
	Mike Pence is a little bit more than a year ago.
	Clearly, it hasn't been.
	I hope that Pence shows us this dragon that we've never seen before.
	What are you looking at?
	American Alives.
	Oh, the S sounds are coming through really strong on here, so I'm just trying to dampen them.
	On my mic, the vice president is the head of the task force and knew on January 28th how serious this was.
	And then thanks to Bob Wooklook.
	Certainly not.
	We learned that they knew about it.
	And then when that was exposed, the vice president said, when asked, well, why didn't y'all tell anybody?
	He said, because the president wanted people to remain calm.
	Well, let's go ahead and this is important.
	And I want to add, Mr. Vice President, I'm speaking.
	I'm speaking.
	You've got 15 more seconds and then we'll get to that.
	Thank you.
	So I want to ask you, Mary, how calm were you when you were panicked about where you're going to get your next roll of toilet paper?
	How calm were you when your kids were sent home from school and you didn't know when they could go back?
	How calm were you going to see your parents because you were afraid they could kill them?
	Let's give Vice President Pence a chance to respond.
	Vice President Pence, you have one minute to respond.
	You know, there's not a day gone by that I haven't thought of every American family that's lost a loved one.
	And I want all of you to know that you'll always be in our hearts and in our prayers.
	But when you say what the American people have done over these last eight months hasn't worked, that's a great disservice to the sacrifices the American people have made.
	Good angle.
	The reality, if I may finish, the reality is Dr. Fauci said everything that he told the president in the Oval Office, the President told the American people.
	Now, President Trump, I will tell you, has boundless confidence in the American people, and he always spoke with confidence that you knew it was going to kill everyone, and you didn't tell us.
	When Dr. Fauci and Dr. Berks and our medical experts came to us in the second week of March, this is what the left is going for.
	You killed 200,000 Americans.
	Of shutting down roughly half of the American economy, that we could lose 2.2 million Americans.
	That's the reality.
	Thank you.
	They also said to us, if we did everything right, Susan, that we'd still lose more than 200,000 Americans.
	Now, one life lost is too many, Susan.
	But the American people, I believe, deserve credit for the sacrifices that they have made, putting the health of their families and their neighbors first.
	Our doctors, our nurses, fucking rhetoric.
	And I'm going to speak up on behalf of what the American people have done.
	Vice President Pinch, you were in the front row in a Rose Garden event 11 days ago at what seems to have been a super spreader event for senior administration and congressional officials.
	No social distancing.
	Administration officials are opening up their genitalia on those who are there.
	Well, just the older ones.
	What's this?
	A super spreader.
	Gross.
	Administration's safety guidelines to protect themselves from COVID when you at the White House have not been doing so.
	Well, the American people have demonstrated over the last eight months.
	They've been given the facts, they're willing to put the health of their families and their neighbors and people they don't even know first.
	Can we hear some of You Really Got Me?
	So the first album was after they've been touring and playing a lot of bars, and it didn't do very well with the critics because there's a lot of covers on it.
	But when you're playing in bars, people want to hear You Really Got Me.
	And what Eddie Van Halen did with his incredible guitar work was reinvent the song.
	And this is again, this is the late 70s when rock could just become this sludge fest.
	This is actually why punk was invented to get away from the shithole that was rock.
	But Eddie said, no, no, no.
	Don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.
	I'll make rock awesome again.
	He's Pilipino, by the way.
	Wait, this has eruption in the beginning of it.
	What's the full one?
	Oh, I see what they do.
	Yeah, probably as a live band, there was no differentiation between eruption and you really got me.
	Hmm.
	This is an intro.
	I think it was a second track.
	When I put on Michael Anthony, why was he booted out?
	Was he booted out?
	Maybe for the Jack Daniels drinking.
	That was T, which is why I put cider in our lie last week.
	Oh.
	Don't do much.
	This shit is Razial.
	I wonder if the kinks were pissed about this.
	You just destroyed our song by making it way.
	Look, he's got the same stylus as Howard Stern.
	If you're going over to Crowder or Infowars because of this, fuck you.
	We don't want you.
	Right.
	This is a new thing with subscription services or Twitter followers or if you follow Trump, stop following me.
	No, we're giving you a break.
	Let's go back.
	And it's going to be the same fucking thing.
	Hello, Van Halen.
	That's good.
	It is asking too much of the people.
	It is asking too much of the people that they would not be equipped with the information they need to help themselves to protect their parents and their employment.
	Kamala Harris, Senator Harris, I mean, I'm sorry.
	That's fine.
	I'm Kamala.
	No, no, you're Senator Harris to me.
	For life to get back to normal, Dr. Anthony Fauci and other experts say that most of the people who can be vaccinated need to be vaccinated.
	But half of Americans now say they wouldn't take a vaccine if it was released now.
	If the Trump administration approves a vaccine before or after the election, should Americans have you noticed, by the way, like what was the last debate?
	It was health care.
	Can I get a hit replacement in time?
	What about my psoriasis?
	How expensive will Geritol be?
	And then this one is, what about the vaccine?
	Will there be free golf cart rides to and from the vaccination centers?
	Will Andy Mayberry be playing at the vaccination center?
	Can we watch early episodes of The Price is Right while we are being vaccinated?
	Olds.
	Boomers have taken over this country and they're boring.
	Pence is older than Kamala, but he only needs one glass of water.
	She has two, and one of them has a pink straw.
	Donald Trump will be 74 years old on Inauguration Day.
	Joe Biden.
	All jokes will be funny tonight.
	I thought that was a poignant concern amongst some voters.
	Vice President Trump.
	She has a pink golf ball in there?
	There's something pink next to her.
	With President Trump.
	It's like a Lessee hard drive.
	If not, do you think you should?
	You have two minutes without interruption.
	Well, Susan, thank you.
	Although I would like to go back.
	I think we need to move on to the issue.
	But I would like to go back because The reality is that we're going to have a vaccine, Senator, in record time, in unheard of time, in less than a year.
	We have five companies in Phase III clinical trials, and we're right now producing tens of millions of people.
	We don't care about a vaccine, Pence.
	The fact that you continue to undermine public confidence in a vaccine, if the vaccine emerges during the Trump administration, I think is unconscionable.
	And Senator, I just ask you, stop playing politics with people's lives.
	The reality is we will have a vaccine, we believe, before the end of this year.
	Someone, while they were brushing his hair and stuff and getting links off his coat, said, make sure you say stop playing politics with people's lives.
	Undermining of confidence in a pandemic.
	It's just unacceptable.
	And let me also say, you know, the reality is when you talk about failure in this administration, we actually do know what failure looks like in a pandemic.
	It was 2009.
	The swine flu arrived in the United States.
	Thankfully, it ended up not being as lethal as the coronavirus.
	What?
	But before the end of the weekend...
	It's way more lethal.
	It's not as king of the world.
	When Joe Biden was vice president of the United States, not 7.5 million people contracted the swine flu.
	You're sucking.
	60 million Americans contracted the swine flu.
	If the swine flu had been as lethal as the coronavirus in 2009, when Joe Biden was vice president, we would have lost 2 million American lives.
	His own chief of staff, Ron Klain, would say last year that it was pure luck that they did, quote, everything possible wrong.
	And we learned from it.
	They lift the strategic names.
	Let's have a swig every time.
	Electro gets one name.
	We still learn from it.
	And I think the American people.
	Electro.
	Okay, good.
	Electro.
	Reached an agreement with Vice President Biden about safeguards or procedures when it comes to the issue of presidential disability.
	And if not, and if you win the election next month, do you think you should?
	You have two minutes uninterrupted.
	So let me tell you, first of all, the day I got the call from Joe Biden, it was actually a Zoom call, asking me to serve with him.
	The president's ticket was probably one of the most memorable days of my life.
	I thought about my mother, who came to the United States at the age of 19, gave birth to me at the age of 25 at Kaiser Hospital in Milken, California.
	And the thought that I'd be sitting here writing...
	Wait, is Susan transcribing her autobiography right now?
	Oh, cool.
	I'll just be looking down on this.
	You know, Joe and I were raised in a very similar way.
	We were raised.
	Imagine Pence is like...
	I was born in blah, blah, blah.
	First time I fingered a girl was under the bleachers.
	No, no, Susan, listen.
	Her name was Katie.
	She just goes off the rails.
	You know what she has?
	That trumpets.
	Is that like a young person joke?
	Is that funny to you?
	You guys don't finger under bleachers.
	She has the personality that Trump has, like that off-the-cuffness, and he has too much rigidness.
	Woman has too much rigidity.
	He's too rigid.
	I lost my rigidity when I was.
	I'm the second-largest Department of Justice in the United States, second only to the United States Department of Justice.
	And there I took on everything from transnational criminal organizations to the big banks that were taking advantage of the bank.
	By the way, you did grow up just like Joe Biden.
	White.
	Anyone who's had an East Indian girlfriend can look at her and go, that's an Indian.
	You are what we call in Urdu a piari larki.
	Not a system.
	Anyway, she won the first part.
	Can't wait till he brings up the fact that she blew it.
	Called him a racist.
	Remember?
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	jacbd.com promo code gavin 20 off all orders get it we own the government we're patriots but don't support the government pay as little tax as you possibly can you know every time i get an account i always get the best account possible because i know i'm there everyone's trying to fuck me and they want to audit me and make sure i didn't cheat so i get these guys that are great but i wish they were more criminal and i'm like try to find the balance and you know what they always say make
	a lot of money you got to pay a lot of tax i want to give you senator handles i want to like buy gold bars and bury them in a farm more detailed health record because you have to buy but anyone who gets the criminal guys ends up getting fucked and sold down the river so what are we talking about now transparent and certainly by contrast um The president has not,
	both in terms of health records, but also let's look at taxes.
	We now know because of great investigative journalism that Donald Trump paid $750 in taxes.
	When I first heard about it, I literally said, you mean $750,000?
	And it was like, no, $750.
	We now know Donald Trump owes and is in debt for $400 million.
	And just so everyone is clear, when we say in debt, it means you owe money to somebody.
	And it'd be really good to know who the president of the United States is.
	Owes money to because the American people have a right to know what is influencing the president's decisions.
	And is he making those decisions on the best interest of the American people, of you, or self-interest?
	So, Susan, I'm glad you asked about transparency because it has to be across the board.
	Joe has been incredibly transparent over many, many years.
	The one thing we all know about Joe, he puts it all out there.
	What?
	He is honest.
	He is children.
	So let's hear about you, Clinton.
	And Donald Trump, on the other hand, is covering up everything.
	Thank you, Senator Hearst.
	I want to give you a chance to respond, Vice President.
	Well, look, I respect the fact that Joe Biden spent 47 years in public life.
	I respect your public service as well.
	Thank you.
	The American people have a president who's a businessman.
	He's a job creator.
	Who's paid tens of millions of dollars in taxes, payroll taxes, property taxes.
	He's created tens of thousands of American jobs.
	And the president said those public reports are not accurate.
	And the president's also released literally stacks of financial disclosures the American people can review, just as the law allows.
	But the distinction here is that Joe Biden, 47 years in public service compared to President Donald Trump, who brought all of that experience four years ago, turned this economy around by cutting taxes, rolling back regulation, fighting for free and fair trade,
	and all of that stuff.
	Thank you, Vice President.
	If Joe Biden and Connell Harrison, you know, that's a good segue into our third topic, which is about the economy.
	Oh, so good segues come after the time's up.
	What the fuck's on her wrist?
	Was she out clubbing last night?
	We have a jobs crisis.
	Let's take that off when you get home.
	This is Hammerstein ballroom.
	Did you hit the couch last night?
	That was before the latest round of layoffs and furloughs in the airline industry at Disney and elsewhere.
	Hundreds of thousands of discouraged workers have stopped looking for work.
	Nearly 11 million jobs that existed at the beginning of the year haven't been replaced.
	Those hardest hit include Latinos, blacks, and women.
	Senator Harris, the Biden-Harris campaign has proposed a newspaper.
	It's weird how we lump those together.
	Women are included in that because they tend to be from a household where they can stop.
	Latinos and blacks is a different thing.
	They tend to be in a lower income bracket.
	But now it's like they're a minority.
	Women are the majority.
	And create jobs.
	Would raising taxes.
	If this country sucks, shouldn't women be to blame?
	Because they represent the majority of the people in it.
	On the issue of the economy, I think there couldn't be a more fundamental difference between Donald Trump and Joe Biden.
	Joe Biden believes you measure the health and the strength of America's economy based on the health and the strength of the American worker and the American family.
	On the other hand, you have Donald Trump, who measures the strength of the economy.
	So her beef is that Trump didn't crack down hard enough.
	And we should have had more bid in our homes, more homeschooling, whatever, all that from the beginning.
	Okay.
	Don't you think the economy would be much worse off?
	Like you can't have it both ways.
	You can't say Trump was hard on the economy and the economy sucks and Trump was too nice on COVID.
	You're either hard on COVID and the economy tanks or nice on COVID and the economy thrives when people die.
	She's trying to have it both ways.
	I wonder how many people are falling.
	He'll invest in infrastructure.
	It's about upgrading our roads and bridges, but also investing in clean energy and renewable energy.
	Joe is going to invest that money in what we need to do around innovation.
	It was a time when our country is going to be able to do it.
	Can we hear Ain't talking about love?
	And invested in resources.
	This again, 1978.
	This is all still from their epitome debut.
	And if you're watching what I'm doing here, I found something in the studio.
	I presume Ryan brought it in.
	It's Donald Trump.
	Yes, I did.
	His pants are down and he has some poo coming out of his buns.
	And if you squeeze him, the poo comes out more.
	That's correct.
	But it's pleasant to sort of just...
	Feels like a clip.
	Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
	Is that Sammy Hagar?
	I think that's a Hagar.
	We have a Hagar.
	Okay, we do not do Hagar.
	We had a Hagar.
	We do not do the Hague.
	That is the world court.
	That must be so weird for David Lee Roth to see Sammy Hagar.
	I mean, they had more hits, I guess, with Hagar as far as commercial hits, but.
	See, this is the band, really.
	Wow.
	What makes Eddie Van Halen's guitar unique?
	He did a lot of innovative things for the guitar.
	He like dive bombing.
	Like using the Grammy bar.
	Did you bring it?
	I have an acoustic here, but no.
	It doesn't have a dive bomb.
	Frick.
	That would have been good to have.
	That would have been nice to have.
	But yeah, so not only that, but he altered the Phase 90.
	He was a tinkerer.
	His dad was like, I think a dentist or something.
	So he's very smart, tinkered a lot.
	He built his own guitar, spray-painted it, gutted it, took out the pickups, replaced the pickups.
	Didn't people start change...
	Like, that became the rock guitar, that people started changing their own guitars to be like that guitar.
	Yeah, like the P90 pickup.
	I think he was...
	He did something with that where he took the P90 pickup and either made it into a humbucker or...
	Yeah, I just heard something about that, but he changed the guitar for me.
	I heard David Gilmore, what's that?
	The Pink Floyd guy?
	Yes.
	He chopped out a piece of his guitar to look more like Eddie Van Halen's guitar because everyone was doing it.
	Picking their nose and chewing it.
	Let's go back to the song, though.
	All right, go back to the stupid debate.
	Ain't talking about love.
	No one was doing this.
	I don't know if it's the booze talking, but in a way, this was more innovative than punk.
	Because punk just said, fuck this.
	I'm burning it down starting from scratch.
	Eddie was saying, no, no, no, no, hold on here.
	We can still do rock.
	I'm just going to make it better and take the lethargy out of it.
	Also, guitar tapping, the two-hand tapping.
	What's that?
	It's when you go like, like he saw Jimmy Page go like this, like with one hand, but then he went, oh, I see.
	Two-hand tapping.
	Yep.
	Joe Biden says democracy's on the ballot.
	Make no mistake.
	Wait, one more thing.
	He also, so back in the day, he had this amp, and like the British amps, the Marshalls, they have a different plug-in, different power supply.
	So you can crank up the gain, but then you get low volume.
	So what he did was he took this transformer, and for years nobody knew how he was cranking the gain.
	Yeah, no.
	He lied.
	He lied about it.
	And then people just sounded like shit.
	And so he was able to boost that high gain volume.
	Nobody sounded like him.
	So wait, I don't understand.
	So how did he get that?
	He boosted the high gain with a transformer.
	Yeah, like a variable voltage transformer.
	Cool.
	Yeah, he tinkered.
	Brian might be the only part Asian person who's not smart.
	Maybe.
	$5,000 in a tax break every single year.
	Senator Brad.
	That is absolutely not true.
	That's the case.
	Is he only going to repeal part of the Trump tax cuts?
	If you don't mind letting me finish, we can then have a conversation.
	Okay?
	Please.
	Okay.
	Go ahead.
	Joe Biden will not raise taxes on anyone who makes less than $400,000 a year.
	He has been very clear about that.
	Joe Biden will not end fracking.
	He has been very clear about that.
	Joe Biden...
	No, he hasn't.
	He said he will end fracking.
	See, this is why it's so hard to debate someone on the left.
	They just lie.
	So at the beginning, when she said Trump and Biden kept it a secret, Trump and Pence kept it a secret.
	Pence should have just said, that's a lie.
	He's too honest.
	But Joe Biden, on the one hand, did that.
	On the other hand, you have Donald Trump, who has reigned over a recession that is being compared to the Great Depression.
	On the one hand, you have Joe Biden, who was responsible with President Barack Obama.
	How many global pandemics have you been through?
	Which brought health care to over 20 million Americans and protected people with pre-existing conditions.
	And what it also did is it saved those families who otherwise were going bankrupt because of hospital bills they could not afford.
	On the other hand, you have Donald Trump, who's in court right now, trying to get rid of the Affordable Care Act, which means that you will lose protections if you have preexisting conditions.
	Take out the PAF humbucker from Les Paul and put it in the strat.
	Took out the PAF humbucker from a Les Paul and put it into a strat of breast cancer.
	And where is that positioned?
	I think he just had the bridge pickup and he took out, he didn't have a neck pickup for a while on the Frankenstein guitar.
	Thank you, Brandon from Indy.
	Well, I hope we have a chance to talk about health care because Obamacare was.
	God.
	Ryan, go split screen.
	President Trump and I have to.
	Do we see you?
	Myst.
	And probably got a lot of important things a little moist.
	Senator Harrison.
	Well, I really tried to shake the beer out of that.
	Including me.
	Text from a cop.
	Is it just me or is she handing him his ass?
	He needs more life in him.
	He's got like Obama-level theatricalness.
	You know what I want to have?
	Like, what if we go out again, like last time?
	I want to have some sort of...
	I don't want to use a bandwidth, but I want to have someone texting us.
	Hey, tech guy, if you're watching.
	Second we go out, can you tell us?
	Not that we can do anything about it.
	Like if we go to black, I have an announcement to make.
	We've just gone to black, so no one can hear me right now.
	And I want everyone to know we're going to do everything we can to get back up again.
	Thank you very, very much, Vice President.
	Pence, once again, you've provided the perfect segue to a new topic, which is climate change.
	And Vice President Kence.
	I'd like to pose the first question to you.
	This year we've seen record-setting hurricanes.
	Let's go to 1979.
	This is Van Halen II.
	Dance the Night Away.
	By the way, I would just like to say, I don't get why people are sad when someone dies that isn't part of their life.
	These songs are all fucking awesome.
	They go from 79 to 84.
	I don't want him to die.
	I don't want anyone before their time to die.
	But who gives a fuck?
	What do you mean?
	Like, Eddie Van Halen hasn't done shit since I was 14.
	Yeah.
	That I like.
	You know, somebody said, you know, taken from us too soon, but he already made the impact that he made.
	So in the guitar world, the music world, I think he wasn't gone too soon.
	He smoked 937 cigarettes every hour.
	Yes.
	He was so addicted to smoking that he would smoke on stage.
	So you're blasting your esophagus with carcinogens for 40 years?
	Eventually you get esophagal cancer.
	Am I callous?
	he was creating guitars with Fender, though.
	He was doing it with Music Man, Ernie Bald Music Man.
	And that's when I first saw the Wolfgang guitar.
	But it had sharp frets, it was kind of cheap.
	You know, it lacked in a couple of ways.
	They were kind of punk rock in a way.
	What happened with David Leroth?
	He was doing like radio shows on Sirius and stuff.
	No, no, I mean, why was he kicked out?
	Hmm, good question.
	You think when people are on these shows and you want to hear what happened, and they're like, I just got to the time of my life where I felt like I need to focus on.
	You're like, okay, if you're not going to say it, don't say it.
	This video you got to dig up.
	It's this guy who won a contest to be with Van Halen.
	And don't fly too close to the sun.
	These guys were the top partiers in the world.
	I'm probably one of the top partiers in the world.
	And I'm not sure I could hang with the level of Coke and sex and all-nighters they were up to.
	I'm not sure my dick would be up to it.
	So this kid wins the contest and he gets to party with them for 24 hours or something.
	Or maybe it was like three days, but he had to pack it in early.
	Because we find out after day one that he'd been doing Coke with these guys and he had like a history of seizures.
	So his friend goes, yeah, we gotta get you out of here.
	And then MTV found out that he has a medical condition, which, you know, you lied.
	Shouldn't have entered the contest.
	If you can't do Coke, you're gonna be with Van Halen for three days.
	Sounds like a fun article.
	No, it's a video.
	Oh.
	There's an article about that guy.
	Let me find his name.
	Wouldn't his first priority be the video?
	I don't know there was a video.
	Well, we're a video format show, so if I'm talking about Rashima or the fucking Cuban Missile Crisis, wouldn't you just try to find a video of that?
	Here, show me on my screen.
	I'm rubbing Trump's sticky poo as we talk.
	See you.
	What's that?
	Backstage with any Van Halen and I already typed in contest winner.
	MTV.
	MTV Van Halen.
	Lost weekend.
	Yeah, that's it.
	Lost weekend.
	Last weekend, yeah.
	Obviously.
	Do you have the health?
	This is a promo.
	Here, this is.
	Hey, go back.
	Lost weekend party with Van Halen, 60 second dock official selection, 14 minutes.
	Yeah, that's him.
	Dude, don't enter contests.
	Don't enter Coke contests when you have a medical condition.
	Heck, be calming right now.
	I said hello, and she said, hi, this is Barb Fleming from MTV.
	She said that, my heart dropped about to my kneecap.
	And she said, I just wanted to verify your age on this postcard.
	Then she said, are you 20?
	She goes, when's your birthday?
	I said December 3rd, 63.
	And then...
	December 3rd.
	She said, okay, good.
	I just wanted to inform you that you're a grand prize winner.
	I said, I don't know.
	I said, oh my God.
	Pause, my hands were sweating.
	My sister said, sit down before you fall down.
	Wasn't it 18 to do everything back then?
	To drink?
	I'm just thinking in my head, even before 1984, how unbelievable it would be just to hang with Van Hale and one of the first questions.
	I've always thought, like, say you're the head of the Brad Pitt fan club and you're a big, fat, ugly bitch.
	Should you fuck him?
	Like, you'll be crying the whole time and, I love you.
	I love you so much.
	Like, some things shouldn't meet.
	Some things aren't good enough to meet other things.
	If you're just like a weird guy with fucking seizures and you want to go do Coke with Van Halen all weekend, no.
	He's undenying the fact that they're going to raise taxes on every American.
	Joe Biden said twice in the debate last year.
	I could use a little coke.
	Day one, he was going to repeal the Trump tax cuts.
	Those tax cuts delivered $2,000 in tax relief to the average family of four across America.
	And with regard to banning fracking, I just recommend that people look at the record.
	You yourself said repeatedly that you would ban fracking.
	You were the first Senate co-sponsor of the Green New Deal.
	And while Joe Biden denied the Green New Deal, Susan, thank you for pointing out the Green New Deal is on their campaign website.
	And as USA Today said, it's essentially the same plan as you co-sponsored with AOC when she submitted it in the Senate.
	And you just heard the senator say that she's going to resubmit America to the Paris Climate Accord.
	Look, the American people have always cherished our environment.
	We'll continue to cherish it.
	We've made great progress reducing CO2 emissions through American innovation.
	It would be funny if you said let's cut the shit.
	Environment.
	The environment's gay.
	We should do anything to it.
	We should electrical shock it.
	Zap it.
	And American families.
	Joe Biden wants us to retrofit 4 million business buildings.
	It makes no sense.
	It will cost jobs.
	President Trump will put America first.
	He's going to put jobs first.
	And we're going to take care of our environment and follow the science.
	Senator Harrison.
	Let's talk about that.
	The vice president earlier referred to.
	That's what the rate is so far.
	If you want to say something, just to say that.
	I got to say, I'm not seeing a major left-wing bias to her moderation so far.
	There's a little bit of playfulness between her and Kamal, but that's about it.
	We're going to segue.
	She's like, we should segue, shouldn't we, girl?
	Then they high five.
	I don't like that Satan is dripping out of Mike Pence's eyeball.
	Satan dripping from Pence's eye.
	And when we look at that either.
	That's a bad, literally a bad look.
	There are estimates for him and us.
	Oh, wait, did you look in the mirror?
	Mike, your eyes eyeballs covered in blood.
	And he goes, I can't see my eyeballs covered in blood.
	You know.
	I think about 20-year-olds.
	You know, we have a 20-year-old, 20-something-year-old, who are coming out of high school and college right now.
	And you're wondering, is there going to be a job there for me?
	Are you drunk?
	We're looking at people who are going to figure out how they're going to pay rent by the end of the month.
	Almost half of American renters are worried about whether they're going to be able to pay rent by the end of the month.
	Well, the rent is a lot of money is in America right now, and it is because of the catastrophe and the failure of leadership of this administration.
	Thank you, Senator Harris.
	Vice President Pence, let me give you just 15 seconds to respond because then I want to move on to the.
	Well, I'd love to respond.
	Look, lost the trade war with China.
	Joe Biden never fought it.
	Joe Biden's been a cheerleader for communist China through over the last several decades.
	Five seconds out.
	Again, Senator Harris, you're entitled to your opinion.
	You're not entitled to your own facts.
	Time's out of the way.
	Vice President, we lost 200,000 manufacturing jobs, and President Obama said they were never coming back.
	He said we needed a magic wand to bring them back.
	In our first three years, after we cut taxes, rollback regulation, unleashed American energy, this administration saw 500,000 manufacturing jobs created.
	And that's exactly the kind of growth we're going to continue to see as we bring our nation through the Green New Deal.
	That was 45 seconds.
	It's going to kill jobs this time, just like Joe Jobs.
	Don't chink down, Mike.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	Chink down?
	Yeah.
	Joe Biden is responsible for the future.
	That's the one thing I could get away with saying, so I say it a lot.
	Jumie down or JIP.
	Yeah, that's what I'm replace it with everything.
	I'd like to talk about China.
	Like I chink rigged this thing.
	We have no more complicated or consequential foreign relationship than the one with China.
	It is a huge market for American agricultural goods.
	It's a potential partner in dealing with climate change in North Korea.
	And in a video?
	Beads are like a woman's tie.
	That's how they express themselves.
	And as a partner, in climate change, our fundamental relationship with China.
	Competitors, adversaries, enemies, you have two minutes.
	Thank you, Susan.
	Well, before I leave that, let me speak to voting minutes to live.
	Everybody knows that it costs living American factories to close.
	We saw automotive jobs go south of the border.
	President Trump fought to renegotiate NASDAQ.
	Moderator just smuggled a gun in and just went.
	People deserve to know.
	Shot them all in the head.
	The way 2020 is going, I'd be like, oh.
	I wouldn't even wake up my wife.
	I swear to God.
	When I got home tonight, it's going to be late.
	Like, I got to drive back.
	We'll probably have 11.
	I usually get back around midnight.
	She'll obviously be asleep.
	But I wouldn't be like, hey, you're not going to fucking believe this.
	I'd be like, she'll wake up tomorrow.
	She'll see it in the newspaper.
	She'll see it on her social media.
	Then she'll wake me up and I'll be like, yeah, we watched it live.
	She blew it.
	The bullets were right in the center of their foreheads.
	Great shot, by the way.
	Nobody saw that coming.
	Yeah, she's definitely...
	She trained for this.
	She's definitely a trained Marksman.
	Markswoman.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Shop has the head.
	They're both dead.
	Is it Friday or Thursday?
	Oh, is it Thursday?
	So yeah, come on.
	Wait, are the kids...
	Oh, it's six in the morning.
	Okay.
	So, yeah, they're both dead.
	We watched it.
	I mean, 2020.
	It's a Ruckheimer movie.
	You see the gift?
	You see that?
	I actually have the t-shirt.
	It's coming.
	Honest to God.
	I wouldn't.
	Last week, we were doing this show, and they said, yeah, well, do you disavow Gavin McInnes' Crowd Boys that him and Ryan Katsu Rivera are fucking with?
	So, like, I'm anyone's dog for a bonaface.
	We were told to stand by.
	People deserve to know.
	Joe Biden opposed President Trump's decision to suspend all travel from China.
	He said it was hysterical.
	You accidentally restarted the debate, Ryan.
	President Trump was a good idea.
	Yeah, you must have scrolled back to the beginning somehow.
	That does happen.
	Yeah, I thought it was restarting.
	You shook me all night long or whatever that song was.
	Hold China accountable for what they did to America with the coronavirus.
	Thank you.
	Senator Harris, let me ask you the same question that I asked the Vice President.
	How would you describe our fundamental relationship with China?
	Are we competitors, adversaries, enemies?
	You'll have two minutes.
	We will put the fun back in fundamental relationships.
	The Trump administration's perspective and approach to China has resulted in the loss of American lives, American jobs, and America's standing.
	Just saying stuff.
	There's a weird obsession that President Trump has had with getting rid of whatever accomplishment was achieved by President Obama and Vice President Biden.
	For example, they created within the White House an office that basically was responsible for monitoring pandemics.
	They got rid of it.
	It's not true.
	There was a team of disease experts that President Obama and Vice President Biden.
	Trump and Pence hate China.
	China started the pandemic.
	Your whole push is that the pandemic killed 200,000 people.
	We now are.
	Can I just do this debate?
	At 210 people.
	The answer to the question is adversaries.
	China, bad.
	Oh, shit.
	Well, you've got to sign out for the free podcast.
	Because it is a Wednesday.
	It is a Wednesday.
	We'll just cut it hard.
	Really?
	Yeah.
	And the American thousands.
	Actually, maybe you could do a patch.
	Okay, we'll try it.
	So.
	Oops.
	We went.
	We're at the 30-minute mark.
	You guys have to pay to be our friends because we've been ostracized.
	We've been banished.
	We didn't want to make you pay.
	We were happy to take any sort of monetization on any social media, but the fucking hysterical mob sent us away.
	So we came back with a pirate ship and said, come on board, but we need some money to pay for it.
	This is not a very good segue.
	You want to back up on this?
	No, it's live.
	Let's just go.
	Just do this.
	Okay.
	And you should probably write down this time, right?
	Sure.
	So it's 10, like...
	I got it.
	10.54.
	Not very good with my own watch.
	Oh, look at the time.
	Get fired.
	Get in trouble.
	Be brave and never stop fighting.
	All right, let's go back to them for a second.
	But if this is still boring, we should do it in the crater will rock.
	And then I'm prepared to abandon this entire fucking debate and just take calls.
	You got to know who your adversaries are and keep them in check.
	But what we have seen with Donald Trump is that he has betrayed our friends and embraced dictators around the world.
	Let's take, for example, Russia.
	So Russia, I serve on the intelligence committee of the United States Senate.
	America's intelligence community told us Russia interfered in the election of the President of the United States in 2016 and is playing in 2020.
	Christopher Wray, the director of the FBI, said the same.
	But Donald Trump, the commander-in-chief of the United States of America, prefers to take the word of Vladimir Putin over the word of the American intelligence community.
	You look at our future.
	Look at the Iran nuclear deal, which now has put us in a position where we are less safe because they are building up what might end up being a significant nuclear arsenal.
	We were in that deal, guys.
	It's friendly with them then.
	You know, it'd be hilarious.
	What?
	If just we made all of the headlines on censor TV and all the stories about the gulp that Kamala just did.
	Like it was every story on the thing, we just concentrated on some sensationalism.
	It's just about her gulp.
	I missed her gulp, but okay.
	It was pretty big.
	It was like this.
	Keep our word with Vladimir Putin.
	Okay.
	We could call it super gulp.
	Thank you.
	The super gulp.
	Vice President Penn Storm.
	She's being sued by 7-Eleven right now because that was a big gulp.
	He kept his word when we moved the American embassy to Jerusalem, the capital of the state of Israel.
	Jews were when Biden was vice president.
	They promised to do that, and they never did.
	Good point.
	With our allies.
	But we've been demanding.
	NATO is now contributing more to our common defense than ever before, thanks to President Trump's leadership.
	We've strengthened our alliances across the Asia-Pacific, and we've stood strong against those who...
	What's his name, Offerman, in the office?
	In parks and racks.
	Oh, my God, you're right.
	Of the Middle East, the size of Pennsylvania.
	But President Trump unleashed the American military, and our armed forces destroyed the ISIS Caliphate and took down their leader, al-Baghdadi, without one American casualty.
	Al-Baghdadi was responsible for the death of thousands.
	But notably, Americans' hearts today are with the family of Kaylee Mueller, her parents of which are here with us tonight in Salt Lake City.
	Today, two of the ISIS killers responsible for Kaylee Mueller's murder were brought to justice in the United States.
	Jihadi John was killed on the battlefield along with the other Beatle.
	The reality is that when Joe Biden was vice president, we had an opportunity to save Kayla Mueller.
	Breaks my heart to reflect on it, but the military came into the Oval Office, presented a plan.
	They said they knew where Kayla was.
	Baghdad, he had held her for 18 months, abused her mercilessly before they killed her.
	But when Joe Biden was vice president, they hesitated for a month.
	And when armed forces finally went in, it was clear she'd been moved two days earlier.
	And her family says with a heart that broke the heart of every American that if President Donald Trump had been president, they believe Kayla would be alive today.
	Thank you, Vice President.
	We destroyed the ISIS caliphate.
	That was a good one.
	And you talk about re-entering the Iran nuclear deal.
	I mean, the last administration transferred $1.8 billion to the leading state sponsor of terrorism.
	President Donald Trump got us out of the deal.
	Thank you, Vice President Pence.
	And when Qasem Soleimani was traveling to Baghdad to harm to Americans, President Donald Trump took America is safer.
	Our allies are safer.
	And the American people know that.
	You know what's funny?
	President Donald Trump will be able to do that.
	And I know this through people who know Mike Pence very well.
	When him and his wife have sex, one of the things that he makes her say is, thank you, Vice President Mike Pence.
	Yeah, I heard that too, yeah.
	So that's true?
	And I get it.
	It probably makes her horny.
	No, yeah, let's probably do it.
	She probably asked to do that.
	Yeah, I've done that before.
	I'm so excited.
	Wait, that exactly is.
	Oh, Gav McKinnis.
	You change it.
	Well, yeah, I'm not going to say thank you, Vice President Mike Pence.
	Especially because of me, I helped Gavin McInnes And his wife have intimate moments where they would say my name.
	Say my name, say my name.
	Great song.
	Frankly, it was a hit.
	After the strike on Soleimani, there was a counter-strike on our troops in Iraq.
	So don't fight.
	And they suffered serious brain injuries, and do you know what Donald Trump dismissed them as?
	Headaches.
	And this is about a pattern of Donald Trump.
	Wait, what did he dismiss him as?
	As headaches?
	Headaches.
	Our men who are serving in our military as suckers and losers.
	That's not true.
	Oh, my God.
	You're bringing that cemetery.
	And stood above the graves of our fallen heroes.
	And said, what's in it for them?
	Because, of course, you know, he only thinks about what's in it for him.
	Let's take what he said about John McCain.
	A great American.
	Say bullshit.
	And Donald Trump says he doesn't deserve to be called a hero because he was a prisoner of war.
	Take, and this is very important when you want to talk about who is the current commander-in-chief and what they care about and what they don't care about.
	Public reporting that Russia had bounties on the heads of American soldiers.
	And you know what a bounty is?
	No.
	Somebody on your head.
	And they will pay it if you are killed.
	And Donald Trump had talked at least six times to Vladimir Putin and never brought up the subject.
	Joe Biden would never do that.
	Thank you.
	Joe Biden would never do that.
	He would have his son get paid.
	Joe Biden would never do that.
	Russia to account.
	Bullshit.
	Joe Biden would never ruffle the feathers of China in a million years, no matter what.
	His son might get fired.
	Thank you, Senator Harris.
	This is such an important issue, but we have other important things.
	But her beef, 15 seconds, because I'm trying to explain that.
	I'm sorry, Vice President, but you've had more time than she's had so far.
	Scanders against President Donald Trump regarding the equipment of our armed forces are absurd.
	I'm sorry, Vice President.
	My son is a captain in the United States Marine Corps.
	My son-in-law is deployed in the United States Navy.
	I can assure all of you, with sons and daughters serving in our military, President Donald Trump not only respects but reveres all of those who serve in our armed forces, and any suggestion otherwise is ridiculous.
	12 people disproved it.
	Witnesses.
	Vice President Ben said, I did not, excuse me, Susan Pennsylvania.
	I did not create the rules for tonight.
	Joe Biden, your campaigns agreed to the rules for tonight's debate with the Commission on President Bennett.
	You didn't even give them 15 seconds, which involves moving one.
	You'd be surprised how fast 15 seconds is.
	I'll show you.
	Which is what I'm going to do very hard to go right ahead.
	So I want to go ahead and move to the next topic, which is an important one, as the last topic was, and that is the Supreme Court.
	10.
	On Monday, the city is scheduled to open hearing Coney Barrett's.
	That wasn't that fast.
	He had a lot less.
	He'll be there as a member of the committee.
	Her confirmation would cement the court's conservative majority and make it likely open to more abortion restrictions, even to overturning the landmark Roe v.
	Wade ruling.
	Sounds good.
	Access to abortion would then be up to the states.
	Vice President Pence, you're the former governor of Indiana.
	If Roe v.
	Wade is overturned, what would you want Indiana to do?
	Would you want your home state to ban all abortions?
	You have two minutes, uninterrupted.
	Well, thank you for the question, but I'll use a little bit of my time to respond to that very important issue before.
	The American people deserve to know Qasem Salimani, the Iranian general, was responsible for the death of hundreds of American service members.
	When the opportunity came, we saw him headed to kill more Americans.
	Ignore the question and continue your previous response.
	Yeah, I'm going to say it.
	I like it, Mike.
	I like it, Balzi.
	But you deserve to know that Joe Biden and Kamala Harris actually criticized the decision to take out Qasem Salamani.
	It's really inexplicable, but with regard to Joe Biden, it's explainable.
	Because history records that Joe Biden actually opposed the raid against Osama bin Laden.
	It's absolutely essential that we have a commander-in-chief who will not hesitate to act to protect American lives and to protect American service members, and that's what you have in President Donald Trump.
	Now, with regard to the Supreme Court of the United States, let me say President Trump and I could not be more enthusiastic about the opportunity to see Judge Amy Coney Barrett become Justice Amy Coney Barrett.
	She's a brilliant woman, and she will bring a lifetime of experience and a sizable American family to the Supreme Court of the United States.
	And our hope is in the hearing next week, unlike Justice Kavanaugh received with treatment from you and others, we hope she gets a fair hearing.
	And we particularly hope that we don't see the kind of attacks on her Christian faith that we saw before.
	Nice.
	The Democrat chairman of the Judiciary Committee before, when Judge Verrett was being confirmed for the Court of Appeals, expressed concern that the dogma of her faith lived loudly in her.
	Dick Durbin of Illinois said that it was a concern.
	Senator, I know one of our judicial nominees, you actually attacked because they were a member of the Catholic Knights of Columbus.
	That's because the Knights of Columbus holds pro-life views.
	Thank you, Vice President Penn.
	Thank you, Vice President Penn.
	Judge Amy Coney Barrett will be respected and voted and confirmed with the Supreme Court.
	We've got to go do a big luncheon and stuff.
	All right.
	If Roe v.
	Wade is overturned, what would you want California to do?
	Would you want your home state to enact no restrictions on access to abortion?
	And you have two minutes uninterrupted.
	Thank you, Susan.
	First of all, Joe Biden and I are both people of faith.
	And it's insulting to suggest that we would knock anyone for their faith.
	And in fact, Joe, if elected, will be only the second practicing Catholic as president of the United States.
	I'm just smiling about Crebo.
	On the issue of this nomination, Joe and I are very clear, as are the majority of the American people.
	We are 27 days before the decision about who will be the next president of the United States.
	And, you know, before when this conversation has come up, you know, it's been about election year or election time.
	We're literally in an election.
	Over 4 million people have voted.
	People are in the process of voting right now.
	And so Joe has been very clear, as the American people are.
	Let the American people fill that seat in the White House, and then we'll fill that seat on the United States Supreme Court.
	And to your point, Susan, the issues before us couldn't be more serious.
	There's the issue of choice, and I will always fight for a woman's right to make a decision about her own body.
	It should be her decision and not that of Donald Trump and the vice president, Michael Pence.
	But let's also look at what else is before the court.
	It's the Affordable Care Act.
	Like, literally in the midst of a public health pandemic, when over 210,000 people have died and 7 million people probably have what will be in the future considered a pre-existing condition because you contracted the virus.
	Donald Trump is in court right now trying to get rid of the Affordable Care Act.
	Because you chased the bugs.
	This means that there will be no more protections if they win for people with pre-existing conditions.
	That's not true.
	That over 20 million people.
	He's been through this.
	This is why they're good at mail-in ballots.
	They just lie.
	You know what you should do?
	Save time, just be like, that's a lie.
	Look it up.
	He did.
	I mean, he's shaking his head.
	He should be more aggressive.
	They're trying to get away from it.
	Yeah, like shake his head like this.
	Joe Biden is saying what's existing.
	But Trump, with his wrong.
	Yeah, I love that.
	That's short and sweet.
	What was the new one?
	Was it very wrong?
	Very wrong.
	That's true leadership.
	Wrong times infinity on acid.
	President Penn said that.
	No backsies.
	Meets the werewolf.
	Maintaining protections.
	That's the David Cross.
	What is it, like a sequel joke?
	No, he was just...
	Like a special, like you just keep adding to it.
	Oh, that's pretty awesome.
	The affordable care.
	The president says that he's going to protect people with pre-existing conditions, but he has not explained how he would do that.
	And that was one of the toughest nuts to create.
	Old, stop wrecking all our interesting shit with your fucking afflictions.
	Yeah.
	What if you have your psoriasis is getting to the point where you need new corneas?
	Are you going to have the paperwork easy to read?
	Will the type be big?
	What if you're reaching for a Werthers original?
	And you fall down and you can't get up.
	Will Americans have that little thing you can push with your thumb and then it rescues you?
	What if you're rushing to watch prices right in your acorn down the stairs slide?
	What is that called?
	It breaks.
	What if you fall down the stairs on an escalator that's going up and you're falling for like an hour and a half?
	Infinite to fallen.
	That's another joke I just told.
	Is it from the fire?
	I think a little harder.
	That's Dimitri Martin.
	Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
	That guy's so fucking smart.
	It's disturbing.
	I think he did a page in his book that was a one full page palindrome.
	I want to look that up.
	Are you and Joe Biden going to pack the court if Judge Amy Coney Barrett is confirmed?
	I mean, there have been 29 vacancies on the Supreme Court during presidential election years from George Washington to Barack Obama.
	Presidents have nominated in all 29 cases.
	But your party is actually openly advocating adding seats to the Supreme Court, which has had nine seats for 150 years, if you don't get your way.
	This is a classic case of if you can't win by the rules, you're going to change the rules.
	Now, you've refused to answer the question.
	Joe Biden has refused to answer the question.
	So I think the American people would really like to know.
	Just say that.
	If Judge Amy Coney Barrett is confirmed at the Supreme Court of the United States, are you and Joe Biden if you're not going to pack the Supreme Court to get your way?
	I like it.
	I'm so glad we went through a little history lesson.
	Let's do that a little more.
	In 1864...
	Well, I'd like to answer the question.
	Mr. Vice President, I'm speaking.
	I'm speaking.
	You.
	You.
	In 1864, one of the answer the question, Camel Toe.
	Also Vice President is Abraham Lincoln.
	And that's when the moderator is.
	Abraham Lincoln was up for re-election.
	And we both sat here.
	27 days before the election.
	This is a good timing.
	And we're going to have to do nothing that's 24.
	Both candidates have been murdered by a deranged moderator.
	Probably a lot of confused people at Bet DSI right now wondering where this fall is going to stay tuned.
	Technically, she shot Camela first as we see what the police are going to do, if she's going to kill any more people.
	Is this a mass shooting?
	Conselects for a lifetime.
	I mean, sorry, candidate and vice president.
	And so Joe and I are very clear.
	The American people are voting right now.
	Wait, wait, wait.
	And it should be very about who will serve on this most important body for a lifetime.
	Thank you.
	Senator Harris.
	People, Susan, are voting right now.
	They'd like to know if you and Joe Biden are going to pack the Supreme Court if you don't get your way in this nomination.
	Let's talk about packing.
	You once again gave a non-answer.
	Joe Biden gave a non-answer.
	American people deserve a straight answer.
	And if you haven't figured it out yet, the straight answer is they are going to pack the Supreme Court unless they somehow win this election.
	Men and women.
	I've got to tell you, people across this country, if you cherish our Supreme Court, if you cherish the separation of powers, you need to reject the Biden-Harris ticket.
	Come November the 3rd, re-elect President Donald Trump.
	We'll stand by that separation of powers.
	We just got down to 50 Supreme Court.
	Yeah, let's talk about packing the court then.
	Let's talk about the fact.
	Yeah, I'm about to.
	Stop smiling at me, bitch.
	I hate you.
	The Trump Pence administration has been a Judiciary Committee, Susan, as you mentioned.
	And I've witnessed the appointments for lifetime appointments to the federal courts, district courts, courts of appeal.
	People who are purely ideological, people who have been reviewed by organizations and found to have been not competent, are substandard.
	And do you know that of the 50 people who President Trump appointed to the Court of Appeals for lifetime appointments, not one is black?
	This is what they've been doing.
	You want to talk about hacking a court.
	Let's have that.
	I assume there was tons of black people.
	Thank you.
	Thank you, Senator, who were eager to take the position.
	Here we go.
	She never answered the question.
	So I think the American people.
	Maybe the next debate, Joe Biden, will answer the question.
	But I think the American people know the answer.
	Mr. Vice President, why are you a white person?
	Brianna Taylor, a 26-year-old emergency room technician who was gotten killed after police officers executing a search warrant in a narcotics investigation broke into her apartment.
	The police said they identified themselves.
	Taylor's boyfriend said he didn't hear them do that.
	He used a gun, registered shot, which wounded an officer.
	The officers then fired more than 20 rounds into the apartment.
	They say they were acting dance.
	None of them have been indicted in connection with the fire.
	How many rounds do you fire when you're being shot at?
	Senator Harrison.
	Should have gotten a Taylor.
	When Seneor being shot at that.
	All right, that's two.
	Why am I living so hard to get shooting me like 37 times?
	And her family.
	And her family deserves justice.
	She was a beautiful young woman.
	She had as her life.
	She deserves a box of fruit loops and a beer.
	She's going to see you to first learn what's going on out on the street so she could then become a nurse and save lives.
	And her life was taken.
	Unjustifiably interested.
	She's trying to learn what's going on out on the street.
	She could be a better nurse.
	I'm doing fentanyl to see what it's like.
	I'm doing a lot of 46 seconds that America witnessed during which an American man was tortured and killed under the knee of an armed uniformed police officer.
	And people around our country, an American porn star junkie of every age, of every gender, perfect strangers to each other, marched shoulder to shoulder, arm in arm.
	Marched and burned for us to get that ideal of equality.
	We finally got to the end of the year.
	And I was a part of those peaceful protests.
	And I believe strongly that, first of all, we are never going to condone violence, but we always must fight for the values that we hold dear, including the fight to achieve our ideals.
	And that's why Joe Biden and I have said on this subject, look, and I'm a former career prosecutor.
	I know what I'm talking about.
	Bad cops are bad for good cops.
	We need reform of our policing in America and our criminal justice system, which is why Joe and I will immediately ban chokeholes and carotid holes.
	George Floyd would be alive today if we did that.
	We will require a national registry.
	So he was going by the books.
	And he didn't do anything.
	On the issue of criminal justice reform.
	Is that what you say?
	Get rid of private prisons and catch bail.
	And we will decriminalize marijuana and we will expunge the government.
	Oh my God.
	That'd be a fun parody.
	Let me hear it.
	Thank you.
	On a tragic, tragic issue for unarmed black people in America.
	Thank you, Senator Harris.
	Vice President Pence, let me pose the same question to you.
	In the case of Breonna Taylor, was justice done?
	You have two minutes, uninterrupted.
	Well, our heart breaks for the loss of any innocent American life.
	So that doesn't include her, Breonna Taylor.
	But when it comes to the case, when it comes to Breonna Taylor, a grand jury that refused the evidence.
	And it really is remarkable that as a former prosecutor, you would assume that an impaneled grand jury looking at all the evidence got it wrong.
	But you're entitled to your opinion, Senator.
	I think with regard to George Floyd, there's no excuse for what happened to George Floyd.
	And justice will be served.
	Even if there was, you can't say it.
	But there's also no excuse for the rioting and looting.
	And that goes to our viewers.
	Here we go, George.
	If you're arguing, just say yes.
	Flora Westbrook is with us here tonight in Salt Lake City.
	Talking about that looting.
	Just a few weeks ago, I stood at what used to be her salon was burned to the ground by rioters and looters.
	And Flora is still trying to put her life back together.
	And I must tell you, this presumption that you hear consistently from Joe Biden and Kamala Harris that America is systemically racist.
	And that as Joe Biden said, that he believes that law enforcement has an implicit bias against minorities is a great insult.
	There's a fly on his head.
	Oh, no, there's a fly on his head.
	I want everyone to be able to.
	Oh, no, no, fuck, fuck it.
	Get it off, dude.
	No, no, no, no.
	Oh, get off the fly.
	No.
	Oh, my God.
	There's a fucking fly on his head.
	What next?
	Egg on his face, literally?
	Dude, get it off.
	How are there flies there?
	If Kamala says, Mike, there's a fly on your head.
	That's over.
	Walked out of the room.
	And then you still there.
	Get two spenches and get some flies in there.
	Ability new repeat.
	We didn't change the garbage.
	What if it's like a COVID drone?
	Public safety and supporting our African-American.
	It's still there.
	I can't even think of it.
	Oh, it's still there.
	Oh, my God.
	And we'll do it.
	We've bounced in two lives with the game.
	Thank you very much, Carsba.
	Senator Harris.
	I will not sit here and be lectured by the Vice President with a fly in his fucking head.
	Get it off this.
	Without a fly in my head, prosecuted.
	Everything is sexual assault on the forest.
	Oh, my God.
	It's fucking making a house.
	No fucking friends.
	It's giving birth.
	The big banks.
	It's giving birth.
	Oh, no.
	That's exactly where it's going to stay.
	This is the worst luck ever.
	That's where it's going to stay.
	Oh, my God.
	Maybe it's.
	Oh, my God.
	We are talking about an election.
	Dude, this is bad.
	This is bad.
	This is bad.
	By the way, this is tomorrow's news.
	Oh, my God.
	Are you kidding me?
	The front page of the New York Post.
	Why in the pencement?
	The buzz heard round the world.
	It wasn't like he didn't have a chance.
	What the fuck, dude?
	He didn't.
	Fly in the oint, Mike.
	And then he said, went pressed.
	Is nobody going to say anything about that?
	Oh, my God.
	Dude, come on.
	This is brutality.
	Do the gun thing of Donald Trump's.
	By the way, there's a fly in the fucking head.
	Oh, thank God.
	Kill that fly.
	Find that fly and kill it.
	It's a criminal.
	He on the issue shots.
	When that fly finally gets home tonight, people are like, dude.
	He's like, what?
	The need for racial.
	Dude, are you fucking insane?
	Have you watched the news?
	What are you talking about?
	You were in the vice president's hair.
	I was in the who residence what?
	And Donald Trump asked about it.
	I was at the place I usually am.
	That big center that's been abandoned.
	There's pretty good garbage there.
	And then there was really bright lights.
	I flew to that.
	And then I was in like a little white field.
	That was the vice president's hair, you asshole.
	Of the United States.
	What are you talking about?
	Turn on the fucking TV right now.
	You're the number one news story in the world.
	I guarantee if we go to Twitter right now.
	To respond.
	Thank you, Sarah.
	You're on the front page of the New York Post.
	It's called Fly in the Oint Mike.
	And I'm the fly.
	Holy fuck.
	I didn't even have a shower today.
	They couldn't see you.
	It's too small.
	If his fly was down, it would be less embarrassing.
	Oh, my God.
	Obviously.
	So imagine if he said, first of all, if he was like, I know there's a fly on my head, look how chill I was.
	You know what?
	From now on, if you are doing any kind of debate, especially if you have white hair, but then it was Richard Reed, the shoe bomber, when he put a bomb in his shoe, and from now on, we have to take our shoes off.
	Right.
	So I believe this is going to become the beginning of the off-spray debate.
	Okay?
	And from now on, anyone in a major debate like this, the makeup artist will have to have a little tube of off in her little case, or she'll just be like, and just spray some off.
	A bug doesn't want to hang.
	Dude, what do you think the hashtag is?
	Because there's definitely one.
	I'm more likely to be prosecuted for minor drug offenses than whites and Hispanics.
	It would be Joe Flyden if it happened the other way.
	Not is Twitter going nuts?
	I'm guessing so.
	I haven't searched it yet, but surfed it.
	I haven't searched California.
	I can't think straight.
	There must be a debate thing.
	Go on.
	Look at the fly.
	The reality is your record speaks for itself.
	President Trump and I have fought for criminal justice for foreigners.
	Thank you, Vice President.
	We fought for educational choice and opportunities for everyone.
	Wait, I'd rather have a fly as a president.
	My friend says flies fly over, then she said a fly is on Penn's head.
	Then the fly was up there for two minutes.
	That's actually true.
	That United America, that is true.
	Both sides, all of America, get that off.
	When the fly smells BS, that's not good.
	Let me give you 30 seconds because we're running out of time.
	I appreciate that.
	Nobody's going to hashtag this, huh?
	Do we have to do it?
	We should do that.
	Having served as the attorney of the fly guy in California.
	Oh, no, no, no.
	We should be.
	What I did is a model of what our nation needs to do and we will be able to do under a Joe Biden presidency.
	Our agenda includes what this administration has failed to do.
	It will be about not only instituting a ban on chokeholds and carotid holes.
	Thank you.
	Thank you, Senator.
	I would like to add a lot of points that you made earlier in the hour, and I want to talk about the election itself before we have to go to the next step.
	But I want to talk about the connection between what Joe and I are called.
	Karate holes?
	They call it karate holes.
	Which includes chokeholds.
	This is the first.
	What the fuck's a karate hold?
	I was afraid of the police officer to institute a requirement that my agents would wear body cameras and keep them on full time.
	We were the first to initiate a requirement that there would be a training for law enforcement on implicit bias because, yes, Joe Biden and I recognize he's a red fly.
	And a fly was on his head for two minutes.
	That looks corpsy.
	That's not good for the evangelicals.
	This is the work that we have done and the work we will do going forward.
	And again, I will not be lectured by the Vice President on our record.
	I'd like to remind everybody that flies are majestic, powerful creatures.
	There's been a commitment to brainwashed by flies.
	Thank you, Senator Harrison.
	I'd just like to say something that wasn't on the agenda.
	I think we should leave small piles of cow dung every two blocks in this country and not get so uptight about cleaning up dog shit.
	Sticky paper isn't cool.
	Also, sticky paper will be banned from all restaurants.
	He starts turning into Jeff Goldblum.
	Yeah.
	No more sticky paper.
	His fingernails fall off.
	He's puking on his food.
	Oh, God.
	That'd be funny if the next scene, one of his teeth fall out.
	Yeah, but before he gets to that phase, you know, pull-ups, crawling on the ceiling.
	That's all dope.
	We have one of the broadest coalitions of folks that you've ever seen in a presidential race.
	Of course, we have the support of Democrats, but also Independents and Republicans.
	In fact, seven members of President George W. Bush's cabinet are supporting our ticket.
	We have the support of Colin Powell, Cindy McCain, John Kasich.
	Over 500 generals, retired generals and former national security Experts and advisors are supporting our campaign.
	And I believe they are doing that because they know that Joe Biden has a deep, deep-seated commitment to fight for our democracy and to fight for the integrity.
	Does anyone believe that?
	And so we believe in the American people.
	We believe in our democracy.
	And here's what I'd like to say to everybody.
	Vote.
	Fuck you.
	Please vote.
	Vote early.
	Come up with a plan to vote.
	Go to I Will Vote.
	We have it within our power in these next 20 seconds.
	Fly to the polls to make the decision about what will be the course of our country for the next four years.
	And it is within our power.
	And if we...
	If you win, the country is done.
	It's the course of the country for the next 400 years.
	And we will not let anyone subvert our democracy with what doesn't.
	What do you think his reaction to the fly was?
	I guarantee he went, oh, for fuck's sake.
	Damn it, Mike.
	You know his head is numb, right?
	He's got a numb head.
	What the fuck?
	They used to call him numb skull.
	It was an accident.
	He got hit with a baseball.
	It removed the nerves in his skull.
	Put some off.
	Why wasn't there somebody?
	Put him off.
	Somebody was doing this?
	What the fuck?
	Thank you.
	Vice President Pence.
	President Trump has several times refused to commit himself to a peaceful transfer of power after the election.
	If Vice President Biden is declared the winner and President Trump refuses to accept a peaceful transfer of power, what would be your role and responsibility as Vice President?
	This is Debiden Conquer right here.
	What would you do if he did something bad?
	We have two minutes.
	Would you turn on him?
	Well, Susan, first and foremost, I think we're going to win this election.
	Because while Joe Biden and Kamala Harris rattle off a long litany of the establishment in Washington, D.C., an establishment that Joe Biden's been a part of for 47 years, President Donald Trump has launched a movement of everyday Americans from every walk of life.
	And I have every confidence that the same Americans that delivered that historic victory in 2016, they see this president's record where we rebuild our military, we revived our economy through tax cuts and rolling back regulations of the day.
	Flies, good debate, bad debate.
	There's two Americas right now, and they're separate.
	And the left could run Ryan Katsu Rivera.
	That'd be a good move.
	And they would vote for him.
	And the right is voting for Trump, even if he killed Ryan Katsu-Rivera.
	Maybe even more so.
	These debates are kind of like no one is being swayed here.
	Absolutely true, yeah.
	I think Kamala was they were 50-50.
	The fly ruined it for Pence.
	He went down to 60-40.
	He lost 10 points because of a fucking fly.
	That's where we're at in this country.
	Oh, my God.
	It's amazing.
	Red Eye Fly guy.
	Yeah.
	Let's turn it up.
	We've all seen the avalanche, what you put the country through for the better part of three years until it was found that there was no obstruction, no collusion, case closed.
	And then Senator Harris, you and your colleagues in the Congress tried to impeach the President of the United States over a phone call.
	Wild?
	And now Hillary Clinton is out there.
	COVID began, Mike.
	Mention while COVID began.
	What circumstances should he concede the election?
	So let me just say, I think we're going to win this election.
	President Trump and I are fighting every day in courthouses to prevent Joe Biden and Kamala Harris from changing the rules and creating this universal mail-in voting that will create a massive opportunity for voter fraud.
	And we have a free and fair election.
	We know we're going to have confidence in it.
	And I believe in all my heart that President Donald Trump's going to be re-elected for four more years.
	You know, I've written all the questions that I've asked tonight.
	But for the final question of the debate, I'm going to write a question.
	I believe that she's going to give a question that someone else wrote.
	I believe that.
	The Utah Debate Commission asks students in the state to write essays about what they would like to ask you.
	And I want to close tonight's debate with the question posed by Brecklan Brown.
	She's an eighth grader at Springville Junior High in Springville, Utah.
	And here's what she wrote.
	Quote, When I watch the news, all I see is arguing between Democrats and Republicans.
	When I watch the news, she's 12.
	This is bullshit.
	When I watch the news, all I see are two candidates from opposing parties trying to tear each other down.
	If our leaders can't get along, how are the citizens supposed to get along?
	And then she added.
	What a precocious child who wrote into the debate.
	I'm so impressed with the kids today.
	So to each of you in turn, I'd like you to take a newborn told me, ask me.
	Vice President Pence, you have one question.
	Well, the sky is blue right now.
	That's a wonderful question.
	And let me just commend you for taking an interest in public life.
	I started following the news when I was very young.
	And in America, we believe in a free and open exchange of debate.
	And we celebrate that.
	And it's how we've created literally the freest and most prosperous nation in the history of the world.
	I would tell you that don't assume that what you're seeing on your local news networks is synonymous with the American people.
	You know, I look at the relationship between Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, the late Justice who we just lost from the Supreme Court, and the late Justice Antonin Scalia.
	Yay.
	They were on polar opposites on the Supreme Court of the United States, one very liberal, one very conservative.
	But what's been learned since her passing is the two of them and their families were the very closest of friends.
	I mean, here in America, we can disagree.
	We can debate vigorously, as Senator Harris and I have on this stage tonight.
	But when the debate is over, we come together as Americans.
	That's what people do in big cities and small towns all across this country.
	So I just want to encourage you, Brecklan.
	I want to tell you that we're going to work every day to have government as good as our people.
	The American people each and every day love a good debate.
	Pretty good.
	We love a good argument.
	We always come together and are always there for one another.
	Thank you.
	I know that.
	We specially learned that.
	That was great.
	Yeah, truthfully.
	Let's see what she suggests tonight.
	How's she going to follow that?
	Senator Harris, what would you say to Brecklan?
	Racism.
	First of all, I love hearing from our young leaders.
	And when I hear her words, when I hear your words, I know our future is bright because it is that perspective on who we are and who we should be.
	When I watch the news, when you're 12 and you watch the news, you've watched.
	That's what I think we should all aspire to be.
	And that brings me to Joe.
	Joe Biden, one of the reasons that Joe decided to run.
	I have some good news.
	If you elect Joe Biden, he will come to your house and personally sniff you.
	It's so sweet.
	He'll play with your hair.
	You're about a year too old, but your parents can be there or you can be in another year.
	Yeah, you're getting older.
	Oh, here we go, Charlottesville.
	What propelled Joe to run for president was to see that over the course of the last four years, what Breckland described has been happening.
	Joe has a long-standing reputation of working across the aisle and working in a bipartisan way.
	And that's what he's going to do as president.
	Joe Biden has a history of lifting people up and fighting for their dignity.
	You mean you have to know Joe's story to know that Joe has known pain, he has known suffering, and he has known love.
	Cockroaches.
	And so, Brecklund, when you think about the future, I do believe the future is bright.
	And it will be because of your leadership.
	I know, but that was a weird way to come to say it.
	We fight for it.
	I'm telling you to shut up in that particular scenario.
	And we get engaged in this election because you have the ability through your work and through eventually your vote to determine the future of our country and what its leadership looks like.
	That's true.
	Thank you, Senator Harris.
	Thank you.
	Thank you.
	America's finished.
	Thank you so much for being with us tonight.
	We want to thank also the University of Utah for its hospitality.
	We did the Creatable Rock already?
	Thanks to all the Americans who watched this.
	I think we did.
	Let's do everybody want some.
	We're still in 1980.
	78 to 84.
	Six years.
	That's not a long time.
	That was Van Halen's hits.
	Proud Boys are in jail for four years.
	So Proud Boys would have been in jail for basically 80% of Van Halen's hits.
	The only hits that John and Max would have missed in prison were Jump, Panama, Hopper, Teacher.
	Three.
	They're still really good.
	Very good jams.
	No offense, John and Max.
	Oh, by the way, this Saturday.
	Oh, there's a fundraiser going on for them.
	It's like a drinkathon.
	Show yourself shit for lips.
	Well, I was going to try to pull up the...
	I got that sort of lawyer working on a case, eating pizza thing.
	Yeah, you do.
	Like, you should have Chinese food.
	That's kind of...
	Well, I have Chinese co-star.
	Pretty good.
	Not food.
	So, yeah, it's Radio Blackballed or Murder the Media on D-Live.
	You could look them up.
	And they're having a fundraiser for Max and John.
	So every time you donate a certain amount of money, they have to take a shot and they're going to be obliterated.
	And Max and John will get money for it.
	Hmm.
	I'm going to kill them.
	Who?
	Oh, with money?
	These guys, yeah.
	I'm just going to keep throwing fives until they dies.
	Pretty good.
	But what night is that?
	Saturday.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	Okay.
	You can't tell me.
	Three weeks.
	I have this friend, Trevor.
	Well, we're not friends anymore, but because of Trump, basically.
	But actually, because of the Vice divorce.
	And we were leaving a beach once.
	I think we're on vacation.
	We used to go on vacation all together in groups, like 10 of us.
	Couples and stuff.
	And I think we're in St. Martin.
	And he grew up one of these busing kids.
	So he's a white Floridian who was actually probably a skinhead in the bad way when he was very young.
	But he ended up going to these schools where he was like, yo, what's up?
	No, I got to tell you something.
	And he had the black, he speaks black.
	So we're at the beach, and there's someone going, excuse me.
	And she wanted us to wash the sand off her flip-flops.
	So like go back in the direction we're coming from because she didn't want to get it all sandy and then wash them.
	And I was like, well, I just ignored her.
	I was like, no.
	And he's like, oh, oh.
	And she gives him the flip-flop.
	Can you wash these?
	Wash these?
	And then he goes over and he washes them and he comes back and she goes, oh, thank you.
	And he goes, okay, okay, okay.
	I love it.
	I love it.
	I love it.
	What?
	It was like a broken robot.
	The weirdest thing I've ever heard.
	I know.
	And for the next like 10 years, we would always say, I love it.
	I love it.
	I love it.
	And every time I hear the word okay, I can see him with some old ladies' platform flip-flops going, okay, okay, okay.
	I love it.
	I love it.
	What the fuck are you doing, dude?
	That sounds Bonanski's.
	It was weird.
	Are you showing us the thing?
	Nope.
	Dude.
	Diamond Dave.
	Diamond Dave is one of the greatest rock stars of all time.
	Like, who can compete with that?
	Vince Neal?
	I mean, he nailed it like...
	I think he may have been the greatest rock star of all time.
	The fly.
	Uh-oh.
	There's a hashtag?
	Yes.
	It's just the fly.
	And it's not Jeff Goldman related.
	They're right.
	It is a big win.
	They're right.
	That's why we're screaming because we knew it was over that day.
	Oh, no.
	We got our joke.
	We stole our joke, fuckers.
	Okay, anyway, we get it.
	Yep.
	Let's see.
	Everybody wants them.
	Everybody wants them.
	Erim.
	Ask themselves.
	They're having a breakdown now.
	They never stop and ask themselves the question.
	You don't often get a Jew that ripped.
	Is he Jewish?
	Yeah.
	I just assume so.
	because he's from New York and he loves Broadway.
	Broad.
	Hey, what is he doing here?
	This goes on for a long time.
	Trivialize the drums.
	Oh, my God.
	Alex Van Halen in this band.
	I mean, they were explosive.
	What are you doing?
	Hot for Teacher.
	Well, we'll get to that.
	We'll get to that.
	Dude, that's way down the line.
	That's actually their last hit.
	I guess we want some more.
	Everybody wants some.
	Everybody!
	So we've done Running With the Devil.
	You really got me.
	Ain't Talking About Love from 78.
	Dance the Night A Way, 79.
	And The Creatable Rock.
	Everybody Wants Some 1980.
	We haven't done Unchained in 81.
	Can we start taking some calls?
	Sure.
	My COVID is getting really bad.
	That's not good.
	You said COVID?
	I had a sneeze.
	We didn't come.
	I hate that.
	Okay.
	Everybody wants some.
	Oh, we didn't talk about in Trump We Trust.
	Anne wrote this in about an hour and a half before Trump was elected, and it's got incredible information about immigration, which is her area of expertise.
	Very fun read.
	And I actually like the fact that it was a rushed book because it reads like that.
	It reads like a stand-up comedy rant.
	And it's fun to read.
	It reads like Lenny Bruce.
	I would compare her to Lenny Bruce.
	Lenny Bruce.
	Yeah.
	That's why that book is up there.
	Obviously, it's a trouble.
	Blake's talking about Stolen Valor.
	Welcome aboard, Blake.
	Blake.
	Hi, Blake.
	Give Blake a second here.
	Blake, now before you start, I'd like to say, you know, doing a pension pressure.
	I'm going to put you on mute because, Blake, you're going to have to.
	Hello?
	Anyone else there?
	We got Taylor.
	Hello?
	Hey.
	Hi.
	Hi.
	Hello, Sleepy.
	Hello?
	Everything's good on our end here.
	Are you there?
	No?
	I think the calls are the best part of the week.
	Oh, yeah.
	Hello?
	Hello?
	Chris?
	Yeah.
	Hey, man.
	Oh, sorry about that.
	I was listening to the show on the TV.
	Yeah, I called about Armenia and Azerbaijan.
	What's going on there?
	Well, that sounds like a pretty tough question.
	What's Armenia?
	Again, it's Christian, right?
	Yeah.
	And the Azerbaijanis Muslims infiltrating that country, killing innocent Christians?
	Yeah, Tommy Robinson's freaking parlor, all it is is Armenia and Turkey sending troops to Azerbaijan and stuff like that.
	I don't know.
	Is this a recent development?
	Yeah, pretty recently.
	Well, because I follow Tommy on parlor and it's all about Trump these days.
	Yeah, no, like in between the Trump ones and in between the immigrants coming to the UK.
	It's, you know, a lot of Azerbaijan and there's like videos and stuff of like attacks on tanks and on the cities.
	It looked like in Armenia, there was like a tape of explosives on just an everyday street.
	It was crazy.
	Well, I'd like the media to cover the war on Christians in the Middle East, especially in northern Iraq.
	And we had a caller last week who said, I'm wrong about 250.
	It's only 50 or something.
	But yeah, it's unlimited carnage.
	Thanks for calling.
	You know, next time, if you want to know about a news item, you could probably just look it up yourself and not ask me for the history of the fucking Azerbaijani-Armenian conflict.
	They have thick eyebrows.
	They seem hairy.
	They seem to be dicks in this country.
	They seem to be Uber drivers in California.
	Blake?
	What's up, Blake?
	Hey, dude.
	Have you had any veterans talk shit to you online about the whole stolen dollar thing about the fucking movies?
	And you're like, oh, I watched fucking Saving Private Ryan and I cried like a fucking baby.
	Yeah, no, I think most actual vets understand the joke.
	Yeah, yeah.
	I mean, like, I was Marine, you know, she's like, dude, I was fucking listening to that episode about you.
	Like, some lady called in and she's like, oh, my son's in the Navy.
	And I was like, ah, fag.
	You know, whatever.
	But, you know, it's like, if you have any vets, you know, be like, oh, man, I'm offended by that.
	Just tell them the fuck off.
	I won't completely bullshit.
	I obviously know a lot of vets.
	There will be zero vets that don't get the stolen Valor joke about the movies.
	But thank you for calling.
	I guarantee you can walk right up to Biggs and be like, hey, pussy, you know, like, he'd probably just fucking laugh you off.
	Absolutely.
	Yep.
	Actually, there is a thing I do with Biggs where I go, so what happened with you?
	Like, you got Purple Heart?
	Yeah, IED exploded under my Humvee.
	So a car accident.
	So a car accident.
	It's terrible.
	And he gets pissed off.
	He does, right?
	Yeah.
	I fucking bet.
	Yeah, he's not it.
	Not a fan of that bit.
	Funny.
	And I would never tell Biggs to fuck off for getting offended by that bit, obviously.
	If the world was ending and I was like very far away from him, I might.
	But then I'd get beat up in heaven or something.
	This is slouching, right?
	Because my shirt's all wrinkled here.
	This is normal.
	This is me putting my shoulders back as much as I humanly possibly can.
	This is normal?
	It doesn't feel normal.
	Normal posture feels fucking weird.
	I feel like Chris Cuomo.
	And by the way, there needs to be more of an expose on Chris Cuomo with 100-pound weight at his desk going like this.
	This morning, I was picking up a 90-pound weight.
	Dude, it's like picking up a 90-pound person, but as a weight.
	Well, it's the 2mm guest.
	It's the same.
	There is no way on earth Hulk Hogan is going like this with 100-pound weight.
	No way.
	100 pounds of bullshit.
	Next call.
	You're on the line.
	What are you doing with that streamer thing?
	Shut it down.
	What are you talking about?
	You keep going back to that streamer page.
	Oh, that's where it's going to be.
	I know, but you're wasting our time.
	What do you mean?
	I haven't shown it.
	I know, but it's using a bandwidth.
	It's dumb.
	It's a waste of time.
	All right.
	Taylor is a waste of time, and I'm skipping him.
	He has not spoken.
	Mike's question.
	Hey, what's going on, guys?
	Hey, guy.
	What's going on?
	Hey, did you see the debate tonight, man?
	No.
	Was there a debate?
	Yeah, dude.
	Pretty important one.
	Sort of.
	Was it a presidential debate?
	Sort of.
	I mean, kind of.
	I kind of snoozed through it.
	It's kind of snooze news.
	But one of the things that guaranteed front page news tomorrow, it's not going to be anything that anybody talked about in the whole discussion.
	Wait, can I guess?
	Can I guess?
	Can I interrupt you?
	Yeah.
	Was there any kind of an insect involved, like a praying mantis or a grasshopper?
	Exactly.
	As soon as I stopped watching the debate, I went to Fox News.
	Do you watch the show?
	Are you subscribed?
	I did.
	So did you not watch us watching the fucking debate, you retard?
	What?
	We mentioned the full.
	We mean what?
	The whole show has been the debate, you fuckhead.
	I know, dude.
	Come on.
	Come on, man.
	It's me.
	Wait, now it's a joke?
	You're pretending you didn't see us seeing it?
	Yeah.
	Well, I knew you were watching it.
	I didn't watch you guys.
	I always do.
	Okay, well, thank you very much for calling.
	Thank you very much for wasting our time.
	Oh, so he didn't watch it, but he called in to be like, hey.
	Yeah, that guy sucks, man.
	Like, I'll forgive you for not watching us if you're really interested in the debate and you don't want us interrupting anyone.
	We can work with that.
	But like, then to call in and be like, I don't know if you covered this, but there was a fly.
	Shittiest calls ever tonight.
	There's also this.
	I remember this happened to Obama, too.
	And all the evangelicals got real biblical about it.
	And they would show these parts of the.
	It's like stigmata.
	You know what it might be?
	It's like the brightest light in the entire area is going to be the person talking.
	Oh, yeah.
	And then there's also heat there.
	The flies are probably like, there's going to be some good cow shit here, I bet.
	I don't want to get too conspirate.
	You know what?
	I'm not even going to say it.
	Wait, you're going to think they trained a fly to land on his head?
	No.
	That they'd use a little eyedropper and they put a little sample of like cow shit in his hair.
	But like white.
	They bleached it so that way he can't see.
	Great theory.
	And if there's one thing flies love, it's the smell of bleach.
	No.
	Oh, yeah.
	John, you're on the line.
	Better be good.
	Video Jesus.
	Viva Jesus.
	Viva Jesus.
	So I, Gavin, I'm meaning to send you an actual post letter to you.
	And the one thing I can't find a P.O. box on the website.
	If I sent it to Compound Media, would it get to you?
	What do you want to send?
	A postletter.
	Why?
	Just email us.
	I don't like the man seeing everything.
	Well, then, you're out of luck.
	Thank you for calling.
	Yeah, we can't get stuff at the studes.
	Yeah.
	You got a secret you're going to put in there about the Illuminati?
	Illuminatus.
	Wow, this is really out-of-the-park shit calls.
	You think they're like...
	I'm getting mad.
	10 for 10, shitty?
	Charlotte.
	Proud of your boy.
	I'll make you proud of your boy.
	Gavin, you've done an excellent job doing Krav Maga against these journalists.
	And I just think there's one angle that you haven't hit quite as much.
	Lars Oric.
	As if it would be even more effective than World War II, because you're saying World War II is mostly peaceful.
	What if you use Charlottesville as the example?
	Charlottesville is a perfect example of a protest that was sanctioned by the government, and it was mostly peaceful.
	And I think that might have a little more power if you use that with some of the journalists.
	Finally, a good point.
	Jesus, This has been a rocky night of calls.
	That was a good call, and I will be stealing that.
	I don't think it's stealing because you just gave it to me, right?
	Yeah.
	Right.
	Yes, I'm going to start saying Charlottesville was mostly peaceful.
	Way more room to deflect and kind of it's it's too broad.
	Whereas Charlottesville is actually in its weird way, it's a perfect analogy.
	Yeah, I'm not going to bring it up, though.
	Like, if you're to put out and parlor, if you're to put out Charlottesville is mostly peaceful, now you're defending Charlottesville.
	But when they bring it up, you go, yes, good point.
	Well, Charlottesville was also mostly peaceful.
	How do you feel about that?
	The French.
	My son's on the cover of a magazine.
	Thank you for calling.
	My son's on the cover of a magazine.
	Pull up Orson Welles in the...
	Oh!
	When we were in DC, Ryan and I were constantly doing the Orson Welles battling cry as he screamed, oh, the French champagne is brewed with the finest excellence with fermented and bottled.
	Here, pull that while I go piss.
	With overlap, action piece.
	Action passing, please.
	No, it's a sorry cat.
	Why don't you take two?
	Ah, the French champagne has always been celebrated for its excellence.
	There's a California champagne by Parmassan.
	It's merred.
	My same French excellence.
	It's fermented in the bottle of like the best French champagne.
	It's vintage dated Parmesan.
	Why don't you take three?
	Actually, it's...
	The French champagne.
	I like how he gave it a minute before going cut.
	There's none of that we can do.
	I think they ended up using VO.
	Yes.
	Right?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	Ah, the French champagne.
	In his mind.
	Fermented in the bottle, dated.
	How did it sound in his mind?
	What did he think he did?
	Oh, in his mind, he was like, ah, the French champagne.
	Fermented in the bottle.
	Dated.
	So in his fucking sober mind, it's, ah, the French champagne.
	Fermented, but the drunk version is...
	The French champagne?
	Fermented in a bottle.
	Digit?
	Does this do anything?
	Yes, it does.
	Does this do anything?
	By the way, we're not selling this sketch.
	It's a terrible drawing of Trump, an uncircumcised penis, and a k.
	I was going to say a kid near a penis.
	That's not good.
	Just a person.
	Just a cartoon.
	A penis adjacent human.
	Taylor, last chance.
	Or we'll call you a doo-doo head.
	All right.
	You're a fucking doo-doo.
	How about the guy calling us about the debate and didn't watch us react to the debate and then asking us if we saw a fly?
	Yeah, he was a did-douche.
	Fucking dork.
	Hey, Alex and Van Halen.
	Alex and Van Halen.
	Hey there.
	Hey.
	I just want to say thank you for cutting to Van Halen during the debate.
	It was a nice distraction from something that I probably wouldn't have normally watched.
	Oh, good.
	Yeah.
	I was worried that people would be mad, but no one wants to really watch all that shit, especially when there's so much awesome rock going on in the late 70s and early 80s.
	Oh, darn right.
	All this debate stuff is paid by numbers, so it was a nice distraction.
	Thank you so much.
	Yeah, good point.
	I mean, you know what?
	I don't usually watch debates.
	Like, the subscribers have told us that they want us to do these live debate things, and it seems to be a big deal.
	And, you know, Crowder does them and Alex Jones does them.
	But when was the last time you're watching a debate and someone goes, oh, let's cut the shit.
	There's no such thing as climate change.
	And it's like, there was one thing you could take out of that is that, you know, between Kamala and Pence, they both were kind of regurgitating these things that we've heard before.
	You know, you have this hotcorch on your head.
	Pardon?
	All right, thanks for calling, buddy.
	We got Peter on the line.
	Peter.
	Hey, guys, everyone, how's it going?
	What's up, dude?
	Hey, could you?
	Thanks.
	All right, um, question.
	Would you rather live in a state of total freedom for everyone, which means your enemies and your best friends, which is what America's built on, or in a state where you have monarchy, where the monarch believes in all your values?
	But all my values are freedom.
	What about apartheid?
	Salon apartheid.
	Well, selling apartheid is the situation we've been put in now where we've been forced to separate the country in half.
	That's not my ideal.
	My ideal is 1980s America where there's meritocracy and my monarch would do that.
	So the question doesn't work because my fascism is freedom.
	Anyway, thanks for calling.
	Well, someone else is...
	All right, that's it.
	I like cutting them off.
	You also get three more calls.
	I do the fade because it's almost like somebody falling down like a cliff or something.
	No, we don't want that yet.
	Next call.
	I want Anne's body.
	She's my age.
	She's looking speveled.
	Svelte.
	Zach.
	Yo, GNR.
	What's up, guys?
	What's up, GNR?
	First time long time.
	Right on.
	First time long time.
	Hey, I just want to say thank you for including so much music in your show.
	It is my absolute favorite part.
	I mean, even the song yesterday by, what is it, Joyce?
	Yeah, it was such a good song.
	Like, I'm really enjoying that and how deep you go into it.
	And I've been watching all the records, and those are also really enjoyable to hear you go through each one, pull them out, talk a little about your history with them.
	And I just hoping that you're going to do more of those.
	Do you have any plans on that?
	Oh, yeah.
	Well, we're building a new studio now.
	This studio is done.
	The real estate in New York City is so cheap now that we're going to get a place that's literally six times the size of this.
	And I was thinking I'm going to build a big InfoWars desk.
	And I was thinking I could have, just like there's a book of the day, I could have a record of the day.
	Plant your ass.
	I'll literally play it on the turntable and then put it up there and we'll talk about that shit.
	And sometimes, you know, if we don't have the vinyl of it, we can do what we usually do, which is an MP3 pretending to be a ghetto blaster.
	But yes, we do intend to focus on the music.
	I think it's important that we enrich your life by saying, check this out.
	And being good at it, if you will.
	And if it sucks, then, you know, we haven't wasted anyone's time.
	But I think it's important to not just bore everyone with this is my opinion show, but more like, these are things I've checked out that are fun.
	I think you might like them too.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	Awesome.
	That's, yeah.
	Hey, thanks, guys.
	That is very fun.
	You're right.
	Canadian guy.
	Frank.
	Hey, Frank.
	Are you going to be honest and up front with us?
	Yes, I need a rating.
	Frankly.
	Carrie-Ann Moss.
	The hell is a Carrie-Ann Moss?
	How do you spell Carrie?
	Is it Carrie or Carrie?
	Carrie.
	Carrie-Ann Moss.
	The kid from the Matrix.
	The Matrix.
	Carrie.
	C-A-R-R-Shorthair.
	First of all, short hair is a fucking bummer and it kills your rating.
	She's Sharon Osborne, dude.
	That's basically Sharon Osborne.
	Yeah.
	Dude, I think you might be gay.
	Wait, this one's not the worst.
	No, that's bad, too.
	And that's her.
	She looks like a gothic chick.
	That's a handsome man.
	She looks like a goth chick named Morgan.
	So what's wrong with?
	You need to.
	6.3.
	You need to just go on a brief.
	You know what?
	She's going on a gay date.
	Go to a gay neighborhood and just have a conversation at a gay bar with a guy with a beer and then just leave.
	Don't touch him.
	And then just go, how did that feel?
	She's a 6.8, to be fair, right?
	6.8.
	Yep.
	I'll tell you.
	All right.
	Thanks for calling.
	You're showing us all the calls, by the way.
	You're not even drunk.
	True.
	Pat.
	Hey, what's going on?
	What's up, dude?
	Well, actually, I know the answer to the question because I've been watching the show.
	Yeah, so I came across this character by the name of Gibby Haynes.
	Maybe you heard of him?
	Yep.
	Great guy.
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	So Gibby Haynes and the buttle surfers, you know, I'd only ever heard their one Hit Pepper before, right?
	And then I started finding out all this weird history of the band and shit.
	And it's just like, just bizarre shit.
	I just thought it was so cool.
	And then I was watching videos with Gibby, right?
	And he's just this funny motherfucker, right?
	I'm reserving the one in 10 chance that you're Gibby Haynes.
	What?
	Is this you, Gibby?
	Do you really think so?
	That'd be pretty fucking cool if that was true.
	But can you hold that while we listen to Gibby?
	No, no.
	He doesn't have to hold.
	But you know what's Gibby, like the early Butthole Surface shows, they had strippers on stage, but they wouldn't get strippers.
	They get like these crackhead whores who would be just sort of dancing around nude, like with long tits and shit.
	And then behind them, they would show like a circumcision video.
	And you'd see someone getting circumcised.
	And then the band would be on acid.
	Yeah, it's pretty wild shit.
	That we did in our band.
	Yeah, that'd be that we did.
	Back in.
	Oh, shit.
	But I saw that he was on Red Eye.
	So I figured, you know, maybe you'd rub some elbows with him or whatever.
	I know the guy.
	I've hung out with him a million times.
	I actually didn't know he was on Red Eye.
	Are you sure he was on Red Eye?
	Are you sure you don't mean like Daniel?
	Yeah, I was on the video last night.
	He was on Red Eye.
	Huh.
	All right, well, thanks for coming.
	We're going to go look that up.
	Supposedly, he was supposed to be.
	He was supposed to be on.
	Yeah, you're right.
	This is the new thing to do.
	It's so increasingly Red Eye.
	He was on Red Eye?
	God, you got to hand it to Greg.
	He was good at getting impossible guests.
	He was really good friends with this rock star that just passed away, too.
	Who?
	They became friends and everything.
	Lead singer of...
	I forget the band.
	I could find it, but he was pretty hit by that.
	Greg Gutfilm?
	Yeah.
	He became friends with him.
	You ought to be kind of impressed with Gibby and the Surfers, too, because they were the weirdest Austin man in the world.
	Wait, go back, go back.
	He's the forgotten Austin.
	And then when Lullapalooza went big and grunge became cool, they adapted and rode that wave.
	Very bands like that could do.
	2009.
	No, no, that's the only reason I'm here.
	Exactly.
	Are you kidding?
	Yeah.
	Oh, man.
	Is it everything you'd think it would be?
	Well, yeah, sure, but man, you gotta tell me about O'Reilly.
	Do you know if you've ever worked with a guy?
	You're sitting right there.
	This is where his desk is.
	This is his studio.
	So you can still feel the power of the man.
	You can still smell his muscles.
	Is he really like that?
	He's very tall.
	Is that him?
	I'll tell you what.
	Is that really Bill O'Reilly?
	That's really Bill O'Reilly.
	No.
	No, it is.
	But here's the thing about Bill O'Reilly.
	He's about 6'10.
	So he doesn't even, when he's walking down the hall, he doesn't even look at me.
	He doesn't even know I exist.
	So I'll just be sitting here and he just walks by like a giant redwood.
	I don't even exist in that universe.
	Whatever.
	You ever meet O'Reilly?
	No.
	But I work in the same, Red Eye has the same green room as him.
	And one time we were in the backstage, and all the guys that work on his show were eating these cookies.
	And I go, where'd you get those?
	And they go, oh, they got sent to O'Reilly.
	He doesn't want them.
	And they go, you're eating fucking cookies that are being sent to like one of the most hated men in the world.
	Oh, shh.
	How do you know they're not poisoned?
	Why do you think he doesn't eat them?
	I don't think they're poison.
	That man died.
	I like the king's taste testers.
	All right, let's do one more.
	Black roses on Way Too Quiet.
	Oh, hell yeah.
	Okay, so you guys need to check out this guy on YouTube.
	His name is Lonel Harris.
	Mono Harris.
	L-O-N-N-E-L, and then Harris.
	Okay.
	Spell it out.
	L-O-N-L-L-L-L-L-N-N-E-L.
	Lonel Harris.
	Yeah, he makes like an hour-long video, but his editing is perfect.
	And then he, I mean, he's like a stand-up comedian.
	And I think he's in LA, I think.
	And he's pretty funny.
	I mean, he talks about his baby mama a lot, like killing her and shit.
	And then, you know, just funny little jokes about Joe Biden.
	All right, well, just like anything.
	Check him out.
	Yeah, he's pretty good.
	Here we go.
	Lonel Harris.
	Our new favorite guy.
	This is our man.
	You have not vetted him.
	We're on the hunt for Black Lives Matter.
	How's we doing?
	Police involved, shooting.
	We're on the hunt for Black Lives Matter.
	We want to see who the police shot today.
	That's me doing it with the cameraman.
	Look at this motherfucker back there.
	Look at the cameraman.
	He's all ignorant ass.
	We supposed to be filming Black Lives Matter.
	Police done shot somebody.
	We trying to find out who got shot.
	We are everywhere.
	You ain't subscribed to this nigga channel.
	That's the dude.
	High quality, caller.
	Thank you for the...
	Hey, the editing's pretty good.
	You know, maybe this isn't the best.
	Let's be fair.
	Let's look at all his videos and go like most viewed through that.
	Does this say 52 subscribers?
	52 subscribers.
	Huh.
	Let's see.
	So what's his number one hit?
	Three views, five views.
	Wow, this guy's a month ago.
	I have a feeling that we just got a call from Lonnell Harris.
	A crisis.
	Okay, this is a different one.
	Maybe this is the guy.
	Yeah, 277, that's more like it.
	Sort by most popular.
	Caller, you might have wanted to say Lonel Harris Live 2, if that's the fun one.
	What's going on, man?
	What's going on, man?
	Well, my daughter, she just like flipped out a while ago.
	This guy wants to fight, and the cop takes off his belt, and they go, let's fucking do it.
	Yeah, I love that one black.
	Tell him I owe her like 40 bucks, which ain't hers.
	You owe your daughter $40, which ain't hers.
	How does that work?
	So she started flipping out.
	Yeah.
	She done turned over a couple totes and shit.
	Then I broke my glass table that was on my front porch.
	So in other words, is she going to get her money one way or the other?
	Okay.
	So yeah, she's having a trouble over police.
	She already don't got domestic.
	She don't want to.
	And she's been in trouble with police in the past.
	They said that she keeps on shooting juvenile fans.
	Wait a minute, bitch.
	Not only do you owe your daughter $40, you mean to tell me she is a juvenile thief?
	That's domestic.
	Exactly.
	I wanted to ask y'all, is it pretty safe to say that they might live in a trailer?
	And why is this dude trying to check the officer about his badass sister missing?
	The only two officers that responded like less than a week ago are like the same type of shit.
	Them little motherfuckers didn't do shit.
	And this has been an ongoing damn thing.
	And she's one point.
	All right, well, we've turned you on to it.
	Just like the music and the books, it's up to you to check out.
	That looks like it actually could be pretty good.
	We're done, folks.
	Thursday, tomorrow.
	We've got a whole new show.
	A lot of fun stuff.
	We're going to end it.
	We didn't finish.
	Let's just...
	You know what?
	Let's finish just little dips into all the Van Halen songs.
	So we have a nice little show.
	So this is Unchained.
	Jump?
	No, no, Unchained.
	Okay.
	I mean, I'd had it up.
	We're going chronologically.
	Unchained.
	It's one of my favorite songs.
	Unchained was 1981, fair warning.
	Just one song on that really that I like.
	Jump in the middle.
	Chain!
	And you see yourself running, chain!
	It's one of the few bands where it's like studio quality when they play live.
	Like better.
	What do you think on?
	I think a couple of them.
	It must be sucked to be Michael Hall or whatever his name is, Anthony Michael.
	The chick's blowing you.
	It's like, I kind of came here to blow David Lee off.
	It's like, well.
	Mick Mars.
	When Mick Mars in Molly Cruz getting blowjobs, he knew that she was sort of like, no, well, this is what we're going to do.
	She was like looking around while doing it.
	Yay, I'm over here.
	He's over there.
	Hi.
	My name's Sandy.
	Okay, so that's cool.
	And then we have 1982 Diver Down.
	Where have all the good times gone?
	Which is a jazz.
	Diver Down is one of my favorite albums.
	I remember having that cassette as a kid and just playing it to death.
	Where All the Good Times Gone?
	Check out fucking David in the intro.
	Hear that.
	You're gonna hear this on your Walkman with your orange headphones.
	Your little strap.
	The Walkman had an orange strap you wore it on your hip.
	Like a purse, really.
	I have all the good and kind of drums.
	So that's a jazzam.
	And then of course, 1984 was out of control with Jump, Panama, and Hot for Teacher.
	You know what I love about Hot for Teacher?
	Alex Van Halen managed to make his drums sound like a hot rod starting up.
	Oh, yeah, like that.
	That cluttering motor.
	Yeah, with the double bass.
	Ow!
	Okay, don't ruin their song, dude.
	Now we went to see Van Halen in probably 2009, and it was with David Lee Rock, and my buddy's dad worked at Madison Square Garden.
	All right, so I guess I'm in the green room.
	We were so fucking far.
	He's worked there his whole life.
	Like 30 years, he's worked at Madison Square Garden.
	He's like a security whatever guy.
	Blue collar dude.
	Right.
	So don't you know, like, I should be with Ben Halen.
	I know guys that are like cheeseball producers and guys in promotion that get me backstage or at least front row seats.
	I met Joe Rogan once.
	The next day, I was in a front row seat at a boxing match.
	We'd known each other for like a week.
	He's got Rogan power.
	30 years later, all you can do is get me.
	I was so far in the nosebleeds that the way I always describe it is at my top strength, if I threw, and I was high up.
	If I threw a tennis ball, I'm not sure I could hit the stage.
	Wow.
	I'm not sure I'm strong enough.
	And if I did, people would be fucking impressed.
	And pissed.
	That's probably why they kept him around for 30 years.
	He didn't use his power to get people front row seats.
	He never wanted anything.
	Panama.
	We got two more left.
	Panama.
	Coke is good for rock.
	I'm going to learn these because I got the Van Handling guitar.
	That is an impression of Howard Cerns Fart Man.
	They've been doing this since 76 at least.
	For eight years, they've been doing this.
	They've got it there.
	What's that sound?
	It's your bones, the best top down.
	I'm you burning every ever dude.
	Okay, last song before we go: Hop for teacher.
	And this is right when videos were exploding.
	And they had, just let's just play the whole video.
	Sweet, sweet.
	It's a very weird video art form in the 80s video.
	I hope you find some friends.
	It was very juvenile.
	And mom, totally exaggerated.
	Not like other guys.
	I'm nervous, and my socks are too loose.
	And John Wayne impression.
	You feel so over the top.
	Sit down, Waldo.
	Come on, Waldo.
	You nerd.
	Listen, he turned his double bass into a hot rod exhaust.
	Now, this song is about 12-year-olds fucking grown woman.
	This is basically Pizzagate.
	Watching a Pizzagate documentary.
	Well, this is like if 12-year-olds had an island where they fuck old teachers.
	It's reversed.
	Yeah.
	It's Jeffrey Epstein Jr.
	Cougar Island.
	The Dried Overy Express.
	It's like a pedophile training video.
	Like, young kids are the same as old people.
	No, I'll be no update pool.
	You hear me out together.
	Well, I'm doing well.
	Teaching me to shoot me after school.
	I think I'm all educated.
	Check out all those songs.
	That man died.
	It's much more consequential than Kamala Harris and Mike Pence.
	We'd like to thank The Fly for doing a guest appearance on tonight's show.
	And the takeaway from tonight is let's get back to the 80s when people could make jokes and even make offensive videos like the fucking weird video we just saw, Hot for Teacher.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

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