I wore this shirt on the Anthony Coomius show, which is not far from this studio, a couple blocks away.
But I want to mix it up, so I wear this shirt, which has become too small for me.
If you are not a giant pig, I would recommend befriending a 48-year-old man because our wardrobe is toast every year.
Like this used to be my big, huge shirt.
I got this in Jamaica, I don't know, my daughter's probably four, so like that would be 10 years ago.
And now it's my skin-tight shirt.
I can't wear this anymore.
This used to be a blouse.
And all my custom white shirts, they're all garbage.
I got to give them this fucking Chinese midget.
I have like nine new parries.
You have a whole new Fred.
All these custom white dress shirts, I'm going to have to just give them to you.
What?
That's badass.
Fucking sucks.
I'm really low on dress shirts.
Yeah, well, bring that up, Jamie.
Jamie, pull that up real quick.
Before we get started, of course, we have to give ourselves COVID by licking our fingers from all the people whose hands we touched.
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Actually, I remember Laura Loomer, she used to live near me when she was working for Veritas.
And I go, hey, we live in the same neighborhood.
Let's go to this bar and watch, there's an MMA fight, a big fight, and we'll bet on it.
And so we did.
And that usually, when both people put down five bucks, you usually care a lot because there's stakes.
And I was like, oh, your bitch is losing.
Oh, she's in a headlock or whatever.
And she was not paying attention.
And she doesn't drink.
And I realized she was just bored.
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Today's book is one of my faves, Laura Hillenbrand.
I love, I don't think women can write.
I think they're generally terrible at writing.
Most of my favorite authors are female.
That is not a contradiction.
You can think that Chinese people are bad at basketball and also think that your two favorite players are Jeremy Lin and the other fucking giant rice ball.
I was talking to Anthony today and he's like, we're talking about the Proud Boys trial and how my quotes from Compound were used in the trial.
And I go, one of them was me calling Asians rice balls.
And I go, I made that up.
It's like a parody of racism.
Fucking rice balls.
It would be like calling East Indians fucking chocolate drops or some dumb.
It's actually making fun of racism.
And he goes, no, I think Robert Conrad in the 40s would call Asians rice balls.
Now, we didn't commit the sin of going on our phones in the bar.
This is before I went on his show.
I was on his show today.
But even if he's right and that that term is from the 1950s, it's still the same as making it up.
Like my joke when calling Asians rice balls, no offense, Ryan.
None taken.
Was making fun of like the concept of people being, goddamn these fucking rice balls coming in here and our towns.
Right?
I can't find anything on Conrad saying reason.
Okay, can you find anything on rice balls?
No.
Just rice ball, let me see.
Put in rice balls.
Put in rice ball racist or rice ball epithet.
I bet you won't see shit.
So you go.
Rico.
Quintama.
Try two words.
Rice balls.
Let's just go singular, right?
See?
See?
This was in a court of law.
Plumfield rice ball.
And nothing comes up.
Nothing comes up.
Anyway, it would have come.
It would have come.
Laura Hillenbrand, Angeli and Jolie like this book as much as everyone else.
They did.
We're watching you Google, by the way, Ryan.
Oh.
She also did that horse book.
Laura Hillenbrand did that book on the fucking horsey, horsey.
I'm a horsey.
What's my name?
Joey Joey.
What the hell is that?
Laura Hillenbrand horse movie.
Okay.
Like super horse, whatever it was called.
Super fuck.
The horsey setinet.
What?
Laura.
Sea biscuit.
Sea biscuit.
Yeah, she wrote sea biscuit.
But this book is about this Louis Leo Fierpinini.
Fierpini?
Zampurini, sorry.
Louis Zamparini.
And when Angelina and Jolie did it, this guy was a POW in World War II.
He was kidnapped after crashing his plane.
He was a rabble rouser as a young kid.
And Laura's hypothesis for the book is that the fact that he was a bad kid, bad, like getting into trouble and shoplifting, whatever, running from the cops, gave him the tenacity that made him survive as a POW.
I don't know about that.
I think that he was just genetically a survivor.
I sent this to both Max and John in prison, by the way, because it's a great story of a guy just refusing to give up.
And when Angelina and Jolie did the movie, she left out the part where while he was stranded on a raft in the middle of nowhere eating sharks, he discovered Jesus.
He saw an angel over the water.
And she just cut that out.
Christianity.
Behind the scenes, the cast of the new film Unbroken, directed by Angelina Jolie.
He devoted his life after he finally got over killing the POWs.
They spent hours online.
Sorry, the COs, whatever, the corrections officers that ran the POW camps.
He got over that about five years after the war, so 1950.
And he discovered Jesus Christ, and he started this camp for wayward kids.
She left all of that out.
Like, that's the fucking movie, bitch.
Anyway, please read this book.
It's amazing.
The opening song we played was Back in a New York Groove by the hideously pockedmarked Ace Freely, who just came out of the closet as a MAGA man.
Now, the Jews over at Kiss, Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons, are not impressed.
But he's like, sorry, man, I'm a Trump supporter.
All the politicians have skeletons in their closet, Freely said.
But I think Trump is the strongest leader that we got on the table.
I like how he's wearing a shirt of himself.
We've done that here on the show to promote our merch.
But what does he say?
What's the opening paragraph?
This must be hard for Rolling Stone because they have to pledge allegiance to the legends of rock, but they also hate Trump.
He's never been open about his political leanings.
I don't think politics and rock roll mix, in my opinion.
I try to stay away from him as much as possible.
Once in a while, I'll make a crack.
I will say I'm a Trump supporter.
All the politicians have had skeletons in their closet.
I think Trump's the strongest one we've got on the table.
He joins a small number.
It's a very small number, of musical figures to voice their support for Trump, including Ted Nugent, Kid Rock, Pat Boone.
Interesting list.
Those are the only ones that can admit to it.
Like our buddy, fucking Battaclan, who played the Batta Clan and had his life completely ruined.
Eagles of Death Metal.
Eagles of Death Metal, yeah.
For daring, daring to concede that he was a fan of guns and free speech.
That sounds pretty rock and roll to me, by the way.
Why is that so taboo?
Why is it not rock and roll to stray from the political beliefs of fat lesbians with blue hair?
How did we get here?
Do you think Lemmy was worried about what fat lesbians with blue hair think?
Trump did a talk last night, and his rallies, despite what the press wants you to think, and they are literally 10,000
times that of Joe Biden's.
Well, Gavin, you're exaggerating.
No, I'm not.
These rallies appear to me, as a regular concert goer, as a young man, I know what 70,000 looks like.
Bruce Springsteen concerts are 70,000 people.
Joe Biden has seven.
So Trump has 10,000.
And they're so fun.
Why do comedians hate this guy?
Biden comes out.
He's got a mask.
Why does he have a mask?
He spent so much on plastic surgery.
This is not a teleprompter, as you may imagine.
Hold up your flag.
Jared Bentley and Brady Williams.
These are the two kids that got in trouble for the Red B. Oh, right.
Didn't they get scholarships?
Things are going well for them.
Great kids.
Good-looking kids.
I want to congratulate you.
What did you break him?
I'm getting too many bloated pieces right now.
Finger bangs.
Too many kicks in school.
He won his arm.
He's got tennis elbows from finger banging.
How's your team?
How's it doing?
Goodbye, brother.
You know what?
You're doing great.
And everybody out here loves you and they appreciate you.
I know you guys are getting laid like you've never been laid before, but you clearly and Mr. NYPD finger-banging way too much.
It's going to be the high fives.
Take a break.
Take a break.
Just do the jogger, the upside-down jogger.
You don't need to do so much banging.
Imagine Trump talking about banging.
Imagine him saying they let you grab their pussies.
Oh, yeah.
See if you can find him talking about Biden's plastic surgery, which I didn't know.
Me neither.
I know he's clearly had hair plugs.
And that technically is plastic surgery.
Is he playing dirty pull?
Do you see Sleepy Joe with the little circles?
He puts him very far away.
So far away.
And then he comes up with the mask.
He's like 100 yards from the nearest human being.
He's got a mask.
He feels good about the mask.
I wonder, in the debate, it'll be him and I on the stage.
Is he going to walk in with a mask?
I'll be honest.
He feels good about the mask.
And that's okay.
You know what?
Whatever makes you feel good, he feels good.
He feels good.
I mean, honestly, what the hell did he spend all that money on the plastic surgery if he's going to cover it up with the mask?
Seriously.
You know what?
This might be 40 chests.
This might be a trick.
I do this too, because I'm just as smart as Trump.
I say that Muhammad, his wife was seven, knowing that she was nine.
So people go, Muhammad's wife was not seven.
That's a common, she was nine.
So lefties around them can go, what?
That's our defense that she was nine?
And maybe the plastic surgery was the hair plugs.
And there was no like.
So he's trying to goad people into saying, it wasn't plastic surgery.
It was hair plugs.
He had part of his scalp removed and replaced with parts of the back of his neck in order to have more hair.
Well, I'll be dipped in shit.
So yes, as I was saying, I did Kumia's show tonight.
Had a few nippy sweeties.
By the way, this shirt I found in the studio by the bathroom, and it wasn't hanging up.
It was by your guitar in a storage thing.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And now my mouth feels metallic.
Uh-oh.
That's not good.
Was this like with rats?
I don't know.
I haven't been in there in a bit.
I feel like this might be a rat shirt.
A rat shirt.
I shouldn't have hold it down there and get me.
I'll get you a new shirt.
You know what?
I'll play the rest of this clip.
I have no idea.
The question is, will he leave it on during the debate?
Because it's a little hard, and I'm fall for mess when you need him.
I'm all, but when you're making a speech and the nearest person's like where you are, and you're on a sage all by yourself.
Wiener roast?
Yes, he had a habit of taking it off in a hand.
No, that's the same thing.
Show me on Kumia.
Oh, yeah.
Kumia.
Kumia.
Kumia.
How do you feel about that?
And you're like, well, that's not true.
I don't think that's realistic.
Oh, you have a problem with that?
Yeah.
Well, I don't really have a problem with that per se.
It was a Doogie Hauser scenario.
Yeah.
Maybe we could work with it, but like they keep trying to blow your mind.
Yeah, yeah.
And you're like, stop trying to blow my fucking mind.
I live on Earth.
I've seen people before.
I've seen people before.
Yeah, I was talking about I've been kind of obsessed with these myths that are dictating the American ethos.
And there's about three of them.
Let's go through them briefly.
One is see it to be it.
The reason there's not more black lesbian brain surgeons is they don't see that on TV.
So let's make sure all TV shows have a giant cornucopia of races, sexual preferences, religions.
And I just watched Magnificent 7 2016 last night on A ⁇ E.
And they took the 1960 original, which was the Wild West.
It was a bunch of white guys.
And Denzel Washington is the main guy.
There's an Asian dude in it, no offense, who is like, this guy throws knives everywhere.
And now they have to explain why there's an Asian in the Wild West.
So Denzel says, I saved his life in Shanghai.
That's why he's here.
And you go, wait, you were in Shanghai?
How'd you get there?
Are you an aristocrat?
Are you some rich billionaire from the Wild West?
I don't understand.
And now, say you are that wealthy that you occasionally go to Shanghai from the Wild West in 1890.
What is that?
10 years after the Civil War, America is completely bankrupt and you're gallivanting around Asia?
That's a movie.
But no, now he's defending some old gold town in like Utah during the days of the Wild West.
And you're like, that doesn't make any sense that this black aristocrat who has an Asian slave he got in Shanghai is in this movie defending a bunch of peasants and their gold mine.
What?
So that's all predicated on the see it to be it.
We need a more multicultural thing.
If you don't see people who look like you, then you can't go anywhere.
My wife is a Slovakian-American Indian.
Nobody looks like her.
Tia Carrera, maybe.
Maybe looks like her.
But like my son, Johnny, he looks like a weird Chinese Indian Slovak Scottish guy.
No one looks like him.
Do you think he's watching TV going, well, what the fuck?
No, I can't do anything because I don't look like any of the people in these shows.
What?
What about like a black dude who lives in Tokyo?
Can he do anything?
Every time he turns on the TV, no one is speaking English.
No one is black.
What the fuck?
Did Ben Carson look at TV and go, hey, there's an old black, there's a black brain surgeon.
I think I'm going to be that.
See it to be it is bullshit.
Myth one.
Myth two.
And I should probably have lower thirds on these.
representation.
Lick my fucking representational dick.
Myth number two.
Hey, I've done some research here, and this is big with boomers and a lot of Gen X. Okay, people who have been to college, average salary, I'm going to guess, 120 grand, 110 grand.
People who haven't been to college, average salary, probably 50 grand.
Oh my God.
People who went to college make twice as much as people who didn't go to college.
Ergo!
We need this education.
We need everyone to go to college.
No, those people are just smarter.
In fact, college was probably worse off for them.
They're probably fucked, especially in 2020, they're probably screwed with this quarter million debt.
But those guys, and I totally respect the 50K guys, those guys, just sorry, they're not as smart.
When my dad was young, they didn't have this shit.
They practiced eugenics, which by the way, is the elephant in the room.
This whole thing is nurture Nazis, petrified of nature.
This is nature phobia.
And they put nurture over nature.
And if you're doing shitty, if you see some old black man who's cross-eyed, sweeping a sidewalk, well, he should have graduated from Harvard Law.
He'd be the top prosecutor.
Okay, promise.
Even Heather McDonald of the War on Cops, she goes, take a black person, put them in any black person, raise them with Asian parents, they'll be rich.
Okay, I'm not sure that's true, but all right, maybe.
I do believe that blacks have been severely hindered by welfare taking their fathers away.
That's ruined them.
And that's why you see such high black crime.
But to totally ignore nature is brutally naive.
And the way they did it in the 50s and 60s in Scotland and Britain in general was you take your O levels at 14 if you do well and only 5% did well.
That's the key.
People think this is like a racist thing where you're like, oh, whites and Asians are smart, so they should get everything, and blacks are dumb, so they should be janitors.
No, only 5% of these white people were good enough to go to secondary college.
And by the way, I don't worship these people.
I know a lot of geniuses.
They're kind of boring.
They don't chug.
When I go to bars in the middle of the day, I want to be around blue-collar people who can drink and party.
Like Laura Loomer.
I love her to death, but she's too smart.
We went to an MMA fight.
She didn't want to do shots.
You know, I make fun of Cardi B for going, but I go, I'm just as bad.
Like, what race is that?
That little man we just showed.
He's gone, by the way.
I'll never see that kid again.
But he did exist.
He did exist.
When you have kids, every three years, your kid is gone.
And there's a new kid to replace him.
Anyway.
I could watch that for 100 hours.
So what we did now is, and I don't know why I keep thinking of Obama when I think of this, because he's the quintessential example of this misnomer, this mistake, where you go, all right, Jimmy McInnis, my dad, made, you know, $120,000 a year.
His brothers made $50,000 a year.
The only difference is he went to college.
Yeah, because he was supposed to go to college.
It's not the college.
Fuck the college.
And I'll use this example again.
I've brought this up 100 times.
Say you were pissed about traffic fines and people weren't paying their parking tickets.
And you said, I'm going to put the boot on all cars with outstanding parking tickets over, let's say, 200 bucks.
That would disproportionately affect blacks, I'm guessing, especially in Brooklyn.
Okay, then they would call the boots racist because it hurts blacks.
No, just because a thing hurts a group doesn't mean the thing is prejudiced towards the group.
A boot doesn't have emotions.
It's just a fucking steel disc with them clips on it.
So anyway, that's another big myth.
So the big myths are, see it to be it.
If a group is being hurt, then that thing that's hurting them is prejudiced, is a bigot.
And then the third one that's been driving me nuts is almost as bad as the previous two.
And that is, and by the way, I'm not delaying describing this third one because I forgot what it is.
I want to focus on the first two first.
The first two are see it to be it, education thing.
And the third one, yes, is cops killing fucking black people.
Well, I have all these examples.
Breonna Taylor, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, but they're not indicative of a fucking pattern.
Breonna Taylor was a colostomy bag for two local drug dealers, come.
They fucked her when they wanted to.
They passed her back and forth.
Her job was to carry the money around.
Just because she was an EMT doesn't mean she was a good EMT.
She was fired from her job.
She's probably an affirmative action hire.
Maybe she was dealing drugs when she was an EMT.
And they were not dealing pot.
They were dealing fentanyl.
Hold on, we got to figure out how to pronounce this once and for all.
Computer, how do you pronounce fentanyl?
I pronounce that fentanyl, but I'm always working on how I say things and I might not have it right.
Sounds like she's as wrong as us.
Doesn't really know.
Yeah.
So they were dealing fentanyl, which kills hundreds of people a day.
It's a drug so deadly that when the DEA confiscates it, they wear hazmat suits.
She's no small beans.
Mike Brown didn't have his hands up.
He's reaching for a cop's gun.
Trayvon was beating the shit out of George Zimmerman.
Sandra Bland hanged herself.
Blah, blah, fuck and blah, again and again.
So it's all a myth.
And you go, all right, Gavin, there's plenty of myths.
Some assholes think the world is flat.
Yeah, but they're not burning down the country for these myths.
Three myths, like the see-it-to-be-it thing, has dominated the fucking TV, billboards, children's bookstores.
Every time you go to a bookstore, it's a black eight-year-old girl astronaut.
And you go, okay, that's not really a thing, but, and I'm not against it, clearly, but this is a bit much.
Like, there was a bookstore down the street from my house where I chickened out of taking pictures everywhere.
I should have.
It's gone bankrupt since.
Get woke, go broke.
And every single fucking book in the place had an SJW agenda, which is Netflix.
My wife was watching Netflix last night, and I just sort of peered over.
She was watching it on her computer.
And I go, what's this about?
She's like, oh, it's about early NASA going to the moon.
And I'm like, black guy, black astronaut.
No one has a problem with black astronauts.
This is actually part of the beef is you're saying it like I'm going to go, what the fuck?
Like when they make, I don't know, a vampire gay in a movie or they have a black neuroscientist or whatever.
Part of the reason they're doing it is because they think we're going to go, you can't do that.
That's probably why Hamilton was so popular because they assumed we'd be going, what the fuck?
Thomas Jefferson wasn't Puerto Rican.
And we didn't give a shit.
We just went, all right, well, whatever makes you care about the founding fathers.
I thought they were bad news.
The funny thing, too, is with all of this rewriting of history, you're going to start having this strange backlash, commie thing where, like, I know a dude whose girlfriend made him see Hello Dolly on Broadway.
His name's David.
And it has a lot of black servants.
It's old-timey.
Like, hello, sir.
Would you like another sausage roll?
I haven't seen it, but I imagine that's, if I had a butler, that's what I'd have him offer people.
And they've changed some of the white aristocrats to be played by black actors.
So now you have black actors being served by these black servants and like saying, whatever, boy, move along.
Sort of like, get out.
So they're accidentally making blacks look bad.
They're making rich blacks look like assholes who treated black butlers as badly as we did.
And the BBC is doing this now where they have like Mary Queen of Scots, where plenty of the knights and the colonists and the evil monarchs are black.
And you go, okay, well, now by your set of standards, you guys colonized the world.
You black monarchs sent Christopher Columbus to the Caribbean.
Look at this guy.
You have slaves, sir?
Look at his weird arms.
They're just sort of laying there like legs.
Look at her banana's butt.
Well, that's the dresses back then, you fucking tard.
So and now the other weird thing with that musical, and this is just a microcosm of a much bigger tangled web the left has weaved by denying reality.
Now it's like, so interracial couples were fine back then?
Okay, well, what's everyone complaining about?
Yeah, where's the plate?
Like, you're rewriting history and now you're changing everything and it's going to hurt you because you have a narrative and you've shattered this narrative and now it's like, the founding fathers were supposed to be bad slave owners.
I saw the play on Broadway.
They were mostly black and Puerto Rican.
They seem like good guys.
So why are we shitting on the founding fathers and why do we call our money dead presidents?
It seems disrespectful.
That was too much of indecence.
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This is the point in the show where we continue to talk shit.
I think I'm going to do a bunch of movie reviews.
You're missing out on that by not subscribing.
And then we will start taking calls at 11 p.m., wherein I will do drawings that go on the Gavin Doodle auction to raise money for Max and John in prison for fighting Antifa, for warning America that Antifa are assholes and are likely to burn the country down.
No, they're not, said Judge Mark Dwyer.
In fact, this political fighting reminds me of 1930s Europe.
Threw them in jail.
They've been in jail so long that they have two years left.
Do you realize that?
As of Tuesday, so yesterday, they have exactly two years left.
Doesn't feel that...
Isn't that fucking well, you'd know if you had three little kids like John does because four years is a long fucking time.
Anyway, I don't want to start crying.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fucking.
New York Groove.
Chicken jail.
I interviewed Paul Stanley about that song once.
I interviewed Paul Stanley shortly after I left Vice when I had my website, Street Boners and TV Carnage, which was a flop.
And I didn't realize he didn't want to talk about Ace Freely.
I said, back in the New York Groove is a jam, isn't it?
He goes like, yeah.
I thought we were doing this interview about my paintings.
His paintings suck so much shit.
It's shocking.
Oh, there we go.
You can't play it because I'm banned from YouTube.
If it was on your YouTube, we have it.
Whatever.
Anyway, he said, what did he say?
He said, you know, when you write a song about a city, it tends to do pretty good.
You're not making coffee, are you?
Could be outside.
There's a turkey outside.
Could be outside.
Oh, there's a turkey outside?
I hope not.
Sounds like a turkey.
That'd be threatening.
And uh, yeah, he was he was pissed.
I got a lot of animosity in that band.
Especially now that he's really a trumper.
You know, I always thought Gene Simmons was a trumper.
I love Trump very much.
He's a very cool man.
That's Johnny Depp.
You're doing a Johnny Depp.
I think I yeah, it's the same impression.
Yeah, Gene Simmons is Israeli.
He should love Trump.
I don't think he does.
I don't think he does.
How do you tell if you're a Jew or a gino?
A gino is a Jew in name only.
Only real Jews like Trump.
What do you got there?
Thank you.
There's four minutes on.
We'll ask about Trump already, so.
All right, that's too long to parse out.
But look at this one.
It says, Trump is a true animal.
That sounds negative.
What you see is what you get.
The ones that like him like the fact that he does not give, may I be blunt?
He does not give a so he'll say whatever he wants to say, and that way he's a true animal.
Pollitt, you know, I would, if I were him, I'd hold back on some of the stuff.
But hey, that's his decision.
Hillary Clinton has much more experience, been around the world.
But at the end of the day, who cares what I think?
You should go into the voting booth and vote your conscience.
You know, at the end of the day, Need, I remind you, there's a curtain when you vote because it's nobody's effing business who you're voting for.
And why would you care what George Clooney or Gene Simmons or Chubby Checker have to say about who they're voting for?
Pretty valid, dude.
Pretty valid.
He did an interview with Nardoir, the human serviette.
And the problem with Canadians is they're always about...
So America thinks that we're this, and they think that we're all just snow and igloos, but we have a lot.
Did you know that fucking Miley Cyrus' producer was Canadian?
And he just goes, why are you always talking about America?
Be Canadian.
When I go to Finland, they don't ask me about America.
They charge for tickets just like I do.
You're Dr. Love, too, though.
Only with your sister and your mommy, too, of course.
Belgium, I was curious, did you invent this?
No, I didn't.
This actually goes back to almost prehistoric times.
Well, not prehistoric times.
Certainly pre-Roman times.
This used to be a sign of, you know, the horned beast, which is rampant.
In Italy, this means your wife is fucking someone.
Really?
Spotlight.
Specific.
Well, you're a cuck.
It means you're a cuck.
God damn.
There is a picture right here of you, Jesus.
Love when he gives the gifts.
Mr. Canada.
Beside no metal legend Thor.
Do you know Canadian heavy metal legend Thor at all?
Sure.
What is that?
You know who that is?
Of course I do.
I'm Canadian.
You remember Thor.
You went to a few of his gigs, didn't you?
Yeah.
In other words, did I have a sexual liaison with her?
I don't think so.
But I would have liked.
She looks very healthy.
Well, let's reintroduce you to Thor, Gene Simmons, right over here.
Thor, the metal god.
Fantastic to see you again.
Did I ever do your wife?
She was number 2001.
Gene, just ask you a question.
Did I really?
Now, what's going on in that film?
Answer the question.
Did he fuck your wife?
You said yes.
He said, yeah, she was number 2000 and something.
He's like, oh, wow, I don't remember that.
Oh, I get it.
I was thinking of the year 2001.
Who was this?
This was 1985.
I don't mean when you and I met.
When I did...
I believe it was 85.
Really?
Yeah.
Hearing proud, I'm proud.
Imagine talking to a guy.
Yeah, talk about the fucking horns.
That was New York.
Tell me I fucked your wife.
I'd be like, yeah, it was 2001.
Bleed on that.
Bleed on that blade.
Yeah.
It's weird that they came back around to that sign, that hand sign.
Should we start the show at some point?
Sure.
It's 20 minutes to phone calls.
I thought this was funny.
So the Babylon Bee has to hang up their honeycombs?
Their hats.
Hold on.
What's the hat you wear When you're a beekeeper?
Hey, computer!
What hats do beekeepers wear?
Here's something I found on the web.
According to reference.com, for protection, beekeepers need a beekeeping jacket with a veil or a beekeeper's hat and gloves.
The beekeeper's hat.
Okay, let me get back to my amazing joke.
So the Babylon bee is going to have to hang up their beekeeper veil because they can't make jokes anymore.
They photoshopped a picture of her weird, archaic Victorian veil on LeBron James and some other tall black man, and it blew up and became viral.
This is why I so love.
I love this.
I love this.
Go back to that fucking cuck, though.
Who is Drew Faust?
Drew Faust, Eric Carmen, grow a fucking nut.
Like, imagine looking at that and having such tiny grain of sand balls.
Say it was true.
Say it wasn't a Babylon B. It was a real thing.
Imagine looking at that.
Yeah, rice balls.
That's going to show up in court.
And going, that's so fucking awesome.
I'm so proud of them.
Like, even for RBG to wear it was absurd.
It's a Victorian veil.
What are you doing with a doily around your neck, you fucking weird pervert?
Wait, what'd that last lady say?
Not Ellen.
Ellen Sheinberg.
This gesture and image is beyond awesome.
NBA players wear special lace collars to honor Ruth Beta Ginsburg.
And it's Babylon B. It's right there.
I don't know what that is.
Ellen, you are my fucking neighbors.
Go put a Haters No Home here sign on my lawn.
But scroll down on the thread.
Not going to lie, kind of love this.
Trend setting.
You're all so fucking useless.
And these women vote.
This is why Ann Coulter and I say repeal the 19th Amendment.
Or whatever the woman one was.
Was it 19th?
Let's ask Ryan.
Hey, computer, what's the 19th Amendment?
Hey, computer, what's the 19th Amendment?
The 19th Amendment prohibits the states and the federal government from denying the right to vote to citizens of the United States on the basis of sex.
The amendment was the culmination of the...
Sometimes I shit on that and it'll be the black one.
Computer, stop.
You have to say computer first.
It's like Simon says.
Gotcha.
So Breonna Taylor, big deal in the news today.
Louisville.
I saw Gino Bisconti in front of the Cumia studio and he goes, so what's Louisville now?
Is it just a crater?
Is anyone there?
Are anyone alive?
Actually, let's look in the news.
We're a live show.
How is Louisville doing?
She was a fucking fucking I said this on Anthony's show.
Leslie Jones, her brother, her siblings dealt crack when she was young.
And she said, you know, when your brother deals crack, you deal crack.
Sometimes he's not home and someone comes by and you deal it out the window and you deal with the money like you're dealing it.
Her boyfriends were dealing fentanyl and she was holding the money and going.
Here's another thing.
They found a fucking dead body in her car a few years ago.
Yeah, in her rental car.
What a great EMT she was.
Was that a homework?
That was a project where she was trying to resuscitate someone and didn't work out.
So she brought them home.
She'll work on them later.
That's amazing.
That's a very funny concept that I didn't deliver very well.
No, that was good.
That's Time Magazine cover right there.
Poor balding guy with dreads.
He's probably crying because he realizes he's going bald and his dreads are looking more ridiculous every day.
Dreads on balding dudes is such a weird look.
You look like you have a tarantula leg farm on your fucking head.
The good news is Louisville cops have been shutting it to down.
I don't know how to use Google.
What's Google?
What's looking stuff up?
What's reading police reports mean?
Could you have...
They're not sending their best martyrs, are they?
Our martyrs are pretty good.
A woman with a kid who said all lives matter and was murdered.
That's a pretty good martyr.
Totally innocent.
No one ever found a dead body in her car except her own.
But no, that doesn't fit the narrative.
So we're not doing that.
Who isn't tired of this fucking shit now?
You're probably tired of me talking about it.
Also, the McCloskeys were getting their birthday cards today.
There she is.
She dared to say all lives matter.
She's not even white, according to your narrative.
She's Hispanic.
What do you think of that name, Kai Chow?
Click on that person.
Kai Chow.
I'm not a fan of that name.
Me neither.
Or that guy.
Hi, Kai Chow here.
I don't like you, Kai.
Okay, bye.
I go now.
The McCloskeys were getting their Christmas cards set up, which is very ambitious.
I got to get going on mine.
I'm not sure what the theme's going to be this year.
Every year we have a different theme.
Last year we were Satanists.
This year, my wife suggested survivalists.
I'd like to be the McCloskeys, actually, but I don't want to politicize the family too much, especially with my fucking liberal wife.
Who's not really liberal anymore, thanks to you assholes.
Not you assholes, but, you know, liberals.
So let's just play the tape.
It's weird because I just covered this on Kumia's show.
Abolish the suburbs.
Pause.
What do you mean?
Simple question.
What do you mean?
Jim Goad taught me that a long time ago.
He says, when people say you're racist or accused of racism, say, what does that mean?
What's racism?
And they have no fucking clue.
They end up saying something stupid like, you hate all black people.
And you go, really?
That's a thing?
People hate all black people?
Really?
Every single black person, they hate them all, no matter what.
Really?
I am done.
You go.
I'm done.
So abolish the suburbs.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong.
You have a metropolis, right?
It usually starts with a port.
A port will be there by the water.
New York is a port.
And then the port does so much business.
There's so many dock workers, et cetera, that it builds out from there.
The next thing you know, you have buildings.
Sometimes you have manufacturing near the port where they take the supplies they've been given.
You don't need, okay.
And they start taking the tobacco that's shipped to them, right?
And they start making it into cigarettes.
And they take the textiles, the wool, whatever, the fucking weird, what do they have, like silkworms?
And then they make that into clothes and textiles, right?
And then people have to work at these factories.
They don't want to commute for a long time.
So then you have a city, right?
Then out here, you have farmland where we build, we grow the food for everyone.
Wouldn't it make sense in between the city and the farmland to have some intermediary housing that involved a commute that wasn't farmland, could pack people in, but was cheaper than the city and less packed.
Like, don't ants do this?
Doesn't every living thing do this?
Have a dense area, a less dense area, and then a very not dense area.
Like if you look at any sort of life form, it gets denser and denser to the one like food supply.
So her concept is abolish the suburbs.
So farmland begins on 142nd Street.
And as Anthony pointed out, wouldn't this farmer just sell his land to a suburban developer?
Because it's so valuable?
Anyway, sorry.
That's just one sentence from her mouth and what utter shit it is.
Abolish the suburbs.
You are a terrorist.
I like his shirt.
No masks?
You think pointing guns at protesters is nice?
It's fun.
You think you're cool?
Do you think pointing guns at protesters, they bent McCloskey's front fence 180 degrees?
They folded it like an envelope and then jumped onto their land.
The fence was destroyed.
And they go, we were taking a shortcut.
No, as he pointed out, there's no possible shortcut to get from my property to the mayor.
Look at that fence.
Wow.
The steel is folded down.
And so you walked on my property.
Here's an that was basically an abandoned building when they got it.
Covered in soot, filthy, garbage.
St. Louis is a disgusting shithole.
Sorry, St. Louis subscribers, but your city sucks.
And they took this abandoned place and spent years washing, cleaning, renovating, bringing back all the plants and the lawn.
And then a bunch of rioters came on it.
So they didn't shoot anyone.
They just went, um, this is not going to happen here.
Get off my lawn!
Get off my lawn!
Available at sensor.tv exclusively.
Exclusively.
It's not available at Walgreens, CVS, or Costco.
Anyway, get back to that fucking video.
That's the Clown World song, but okay.
Abolish the suburbs!
Again, we'll get it.
Abolish the suburbs!
Abolish the suburbs!
Go going.
Fuck you and your guns!
Fuck the Central Austin!
Thank God you had your guns.
Fuck you!
Pause.
Just to get out.
How would that have played out if they didn't have their guns?
Their home would be on fire.
We've seen what happens.
They burn everything down.
Their home would be on fire.
She might have been raped.
They might have been killed.
I don't know.
Let's be totally benevolent.
Let's be conservative, for lack of a better word.
A lot of it would have been destroyed.
Paintings would have been ripped down.
A third of it would have been burned.
She wouldn't have been raped.
They wouldn't have been killed.
He would have had the shit beaten out of him.
Knocked unconscious, and he'd have trouble remembering numbers because they stomped on his head after he's unconscious.
That's me being as generous as I possibly can.
I think it's more realistic to say it would be burned to the fucking ground.
She would have been raped, and he'd be dead.
So thank God they had their guns.
Anyway, they're making Christmas cards where they're armed On them, which I think is great.
And he goes and gives her one.
Don't come near me.
Don't come near me.
Abolish the suburbs.
Thank you.
Bye, Mark.
Abolish the suburbs.
Don't come near me.
If these people are Satan, as you say, fuck both of y'all.
She's definitely a white-skinned black who grew up with a white mom and no black dad.
Fuck both of y'all.
I like his shirt.
That's a great shirt.
As soon as I saw it, I was like, that's amazing.
Yeah, we're really living under the tyranny of the losers.
And I just want to say to all these people, play it out.
Like, how does this...
There's no suburbs?
Suburbs of all.
Here's a pen.
Go ahead.
You draw it.
You show me how Port Town blows up into...
Show me how Manhattan grows.
Design Manhattan for me without suburban commuters.
How does it work?
Where do the people who work in the Empire State Building live?
There?
There's not enough room.
Do they sleep under their desks?
Is there more Louisville news?
We should probably, again, on my trend of copying everything Anthony Kumi does, we should probably have Fox News going in the background on some other monitor.
I could get that working today.
You need another mouse.
Can I wear another mouse?
She was not in her own bed.
That's not true.
She was in the hallway.
And more importantly, can we focus on her IQ?
Why was she playing Uno?
You have Uno, right?
You fucking absolutely turn with me everywhere I go.
Really?
Do you want to play Uno?
Yes.
Okay.
Ryan plays Uno.
You know who else plays Uno?
My seven-year-old.
How is that how old he is?
Eight, nine, ten, eleven.
Maybe he's eight.
But he's getting bored of it because we play chess together.
Can you play chess?
Yeah.
What does the knight do?
The knight is the force that moves in an L shape.
Three and one.
Three forward and one left or right.
Sure.
Yes.
I'm pretty good with knowing the pieces.
Let's play Brianna Taylor Uno.
I don't think you guys realize how embarrassingly simplistic this game is.
If you have a two and then this guy has a four, then you're good.
Because they're both blue.
If the numbers don't match or the color doesn't match, you have to pick a card.
That's it.
That's the fucking game.
Why are there so many cards here?
Just because if you want to have a real, like an Uno party, like a real Uno party.
Yes.
With two people, it's...
It's all right.
So you play this game.
I'm sitting here making fun of Breonna Taylor for playing Uno, but you play it.
I mean, you know, we're around like a party.
We're on what?
Retards?
Sure.
Oh, I didn't hustle.
Party like a retard.
So, like, who'd you last play it with?
Good question.
You know, I don't know.
It's not easy for me to make fun of retards on this show when you have their lifestyle.
Oh, you're getting rid of a lot of cards here, Brianna.
I'm your drug dealer fentanyl-dealing boyfriend.
I'm going to put down a five because it's blue.
Oops, that's backwards.
So you have another blue.
So now I put down a blue.
We're not joking, folks.
This is the game Brianna and her sweet boyfriend were playing.
Oh, so now it's switched to green.
Yes.
It's the same number.
Yeah, so now I'm going to do another green.
Oh, it's a five.
All right, now I'm starting to get screwed.
So what I do is I switch it to red.
This is an anything card.
At least it's not a draw four.
Some of them are a wild card, and I have to draw four.
Whoa.
This is like being in the mind of Brianna.
That would be rough for me.
I'd have a bad day.
I would like you to be in the mind of Brianna right now, six feet underground.
Your turn, shitlips.
Oh, wait, what did you change to?
Red.
Ooh, reverse to me, Uno.
But I have a green seven, so I can't proceed.
You have to pick up a card.
I do.
Ooh.
Reverse to me, Uno, and pick up two.
I win.
Hey, there's a knock at the door.
Fuck you.
That was a really pretty game, Luno.
I can't believe I'm making fun of people play Uno, and he carries around a deck in his backpack with his Chilbo Schwaggons.
Chilbo Sweet, she'sn't as old as that, I'll support you.
Not really.
Your whole like riding your bike to the beach, I could handle it now, that it's 68 degrees.
Used to ride there, cook in the sun, not go swimming, and then ride back.
Basically, gross.
Let's get some Antifa shit out before we start taking calls.
ESPN wanted us to know that the riots we're seeing are actually right-wingers.
The mugshots are lying to you.
Hello.
Look at this absolute fucking meathead clown.
A few of the things he said when he talks about like Black Lives Matter, 93% of the protests are peaceful.
The vast, overwhelming majority are peaceful.
And by the way, the 7% that are not, they have a very broad definition of what's not quote-unquote peaceful.
For example, if you block traffic or something like that, or if you respond to police provocation.
And even then, a big percentage of that, that wasn't peaceful, is actually outside agitators, extremist right-wing agitators, posing as protesters in order to make the protests look bad.
A few of the things he said.
Let's look this guy up.
I mean, does he apologize for this?
Max Kellerman?
Yeah.
I saw there was a CEO of like Goldman Sachs or something, some big corporate hedge fund thing.
And they go, why is your company so white?
And he goes, I don't know, we're missing a lot of talent on the other side.
We brought you earlier.
Fox News Alert, our Justice Department producer, Jake Gibson, just brought this to us.
The Department of Justice looked at possible criminal or civil that's not related.
No.
There it is.
Same clip.
But is he apologize?
SPN did not immediately respond to the request for comment.
What a fucking meathead.
Oh, look at this.
Someone sent me Proud Boys at Louisville.
Two cops shot in Louisville.
Is that a telegram?
No, someone just texted me that.
Two cops shot in Louisville.
Proud boys are there.
Probably shooting cops.
Don't you think?
I bet Proud Boys are there wearing Antifa jackets, Antifa clothes, and shooting cops.
Officer has been shot as protests grow.
Wow, look at that article.
That's a great article.
We don't have time to read it now.
Written by blank.
On your own time.
But Proud Boys are there?
Let's see.
Louisville, Kentucky?
I don't know anything about the Kentucky chapter.
Newsmax.
Cop shot.
Proud boys roaming amid Breonna Taylor unrest.
Roaming.
Are blacks roaming?
Are BLM roaming?
Or is it just Proud Boys that are roaming?
Is Newsmax kind of fair to us or no?
Yeah, they're on our side, 100%.
In fact, as the Blaze closed down their DC office, all the staff were going to Newsmax.
Michelle Malkin went from Blaze to Newsmax.
Right.
I don't like the term roaming, though.
Me neither.
Unless it's with millennials.
And that's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay.
I'm going to get a time machine and fuck her before she was married.
We need a time machine.
We need a time machine.
A lot of chicks we got to fuck.
I said, NASA.
Katie McFarland.
I got to fuck her back in the 60s.
All right, so we don't know what's going on here.
What does it say?
Elsewhere in the city, right-wing groups, the Boogaloo Boys, that's not a thing.
And the Proud Boys were seen fully armed as they made their way downtown to challenge Taylor protesters.
UK's Daily Mail reported.
National Guard members, click on the Daily Mail link.
I don't believe any of this.
Daily Mail is all fucking teenage girls.
That must be where my friend read about it.
I wonder if there's a live...
You know what?
I could check Periscope, see if somebody's live out there.
Yeah, Taylor.
All she wanted to do was fuck drug dealers and store their money.
And now she's the bad girl?
No, she's not the bad girl.
Her drug dealer boyfriends are the bad boys.
These children.
They're kids.
It's fashion.
Oh, my God.
They got their jeans ripped.
Well, this guy.
Okay, well, he's mentally ill.
Here they come.
Oh, they're shot, shot, guns, gamma.
Oh, shit.
Shit, they're shooting guns at him.
No guns.
Shit.
They're blasting at the police.
They blasting at the police.
Nice.
Damn.
Over-militarized.
This is what my black friend was saying last week, right?
Police have become over-militarized.
One of them got shot.
Should you not have a militarized vehicle?
Keep going, though.
Now, this is all earlier in the day.
Look at who we're up against, by the way.
Look at this after the ASPN thing I sent you.
Look at these fucking clowns.
They are not sending their best.
Turn up the volume.
That same song?
I do not know this cultural tradition at all.
It is a seven-person mosh pit where they jump over shields like a Gaelic Fucking sword dance and wear weird sweatpants.
Look at them.
This is who we're up against.
I saw a great retweet from Andy No where he goes, Imagine being such a loser that these people took over your city.
They showed up with a U-Haul before any verdict was made.
The verdict could have been, we're hanging all the cops involved, and then you can shoot them with guns we'll be handing out.
And they'd be like, there wasn't enough guns.
Only seven people got to shoot at these cops as they were hanging to death.
But look at the truck.
So it was women organizing.
Look at her.
She's just like a white Breonna Taylor, that kind of fat slut that drug dealers take advantage of.
So she rented a U-Haul and it was there before any of the protests.
Is Jack Pisobic there?
I wonder if Ezra Levant regrets firing him.
He's been on the front lines for years, the entire Trump administration.
Abolish the police.
We got that sign ready.
Got that sign ready to go.
Look at that guy right there.
Right there.
Man bun boy.
Man bun.
Doesn't he just sum up this shit?
He sums everything up right there.
This is BLM Antifa.
Rich kids and man buns.
Rich kids and man buns.
Oh, I thought you were going to go.
Rich kids and man buns and signs from you haul.
These are a few.
All right, that's enough.
We should probably start taking some Khazals.
True to that.
I get some paper for my drawings.
Quick intermission.
A trainer.
You know, boxing every day doesn't get you into great shape because you're in control and you sneak little breaks.
But when you have a trainer twice a week, Jesus H. Christ, I'm feeling it in my legs and arms.
I'm also getting ripped.
Look at this fucking insane pipe.
Can you believe the size of that thing?
Oh my God.
It's a human leg.
Yeah, like a three-year-old human?
Like a Premier's leg?
Like a progeria?
I've been working out my arms like legs.
Well, Preemie's legs, but late in the pregnancy, like seven months.
I gotta re-enter, okay?
That's fine.
We can do that.
That's okay.
We can do that.
That was an invalid.
Oh, okay.
One more time.
I know a good idea for a drawing.
I'll draw Breonna Taylor.
That might sell.
What's worse, drawing Mohammed or Breonna Taylor?
Say her name.
Say her name.
Alright, we have Eric.
Eric is on the line.
Let me close everything out so you can...
There is an echo, but you won't hear it in a second, I promise her.
Bullshit.
Okay.
How's it sounding?
Can you hear an echo, dude?
Hello?
No, it's good now.
It's good now.
Oh, good.
Oh, wait, maybe not.
So the echo's probably so far along that you don't realize till way later.
Yeah.
I'm still fixing it, though, closing everything out.
Ryan's fixing it.
We've only been doing this for a couple years, so we haven't really had time to fix any of the problems.
You know what I mean?
You do what you do.
What can we do, Yafu?
I just wanted to get your thoughts on people with nonviolent felonies on their record, like from 10 years ago, and how they still cannot own firearms.
Well, I think that society naturally, especially in America, is malicious.
And you'll notice, speaking of another big M-word, when you're magnanimous with Americans, it doesn't work out.
We're not, we don't do well with generosity.
And you'll notice when you go to a bar, like in Canada and Britain, if you go to a bar with three guys, you walk in, you buy all three beers.
The next guy, when you're getting down, he buys all three beers.
And when I moved here, I started doing that in 99.
And Americans were just like, well, thanks for the beer, dude.
And they'd walk off.
Like, it's a very every man for himself type of country.
So, unfortunately, that breeds this culture of, I'm going to be mean to people.
And criminals get fucking abused in this country.
And I think it's because there's no one else to abuse.
If you try to abuse me, I'll sue you.
You try to abuse a criminal, he doesn't really have the wherewithal to fight back legally because he's a criminal.
And what do we do?
We abuse these people.
It's a bad thing about America.
We're not very nice.
Yeah, I mean, I feel like we can keep child molesters, you know, we can keep abusing them, and that's perfectly fine.
We're actually probably nicest to child molesters.
But yeah, we treat our criminals like shit, and I can't help but think it's because we can.
Yeah, you know, you try to be nice to people.
You hope they reciprocate, and it's incredibly annoying.
I know, I'm kind of contradicting myself because I'm saying tough love, and on the other hand, I'm saying we're too cruel.
But I don't know.
I just, I wish it went, I wish we were a little more left-wing when it came to our criminals because we should go, you served your time.
Your crime is now absolved.
You did it.
You're good.
And there's no consistency either.
Like, we have these criminals where we let them out on bail because of COVID.
We just had a guy in New York.
He was flashing a bunch of kids, and this suburban dad from Westchester chased him down, beat him up.
They got the cops.
The cops took him in.
They released him on bail two hours later.
No charges, nothing, with a court date to appear.
So I guess my short answer is give these criminals their fucking guns.
Yeah, I mean, I gave my prescription to an attractive girl who ended up being an undercover police officer.
And now for the rest of my life, I'm not allowed to defend myself or my fiancé.
That's so ridiculous.
Did you do any jail time?
Yeah, I did a whole year.
I mean, it was a good little bit of my prescription, but because apparently if you sell over a certain amount, they count it as a heroin charge or the equivalent of in North Carolina.
Wow.
How old were you?
I mean, there's nothing I can do.
There's no, I was 19.
And you can never have a gun again till the day you die.
Yeah.
But I mean, I'm going to say this, quote unquote.
There are some, like you can have an antique gun, like a black powder.
It's a gun.
I mean, it takes an hour to load, but I'm just...
Well, Jim Goad.
I have to resort to a bow and arrow with like black powder.
Yeah, Jim Goad has a crossbow.
I mean, like, it's something.
You have to have something, especially right now.
Yeah.
All right, Carler, that sucks.
What happened to you, dude?
What happened to me?
It happened to you.
You went to jail.
Thanks for calling.
I'm kind of contradicting myself, though.
I got to make this a little clear.
There's two things going on here.
We need to have strict laws.
If you're Antifa, you're burning something down, you need to be charged.
If you're fucking flashing kids, you got to do your time.
We don't have law and order in this country.
That's clear.
However, once you've established that this is the law, and we all agree, and you do your time, you're absolved.
You're free.
You can own a gun.
Now, I'm going to make an exception with pedophiles.
We have to treat them really unfairly.
But outside of pedophiles, drug dealing, all this other shit, even murder.
You've done your time.
You did your 15 years for murder.
You may own a gun now.
That might sound crazy.
You can vote.
You're a citizen now.
You're just like you and me.
You did your crime.
You served your time.
That's what I was trying to get across.
Can you hand me that thing from the printer?
It's a Breonna Taylor picture.
Say my name, say my name.
When no one is.
That's a really hard song to do in karaoke.
Do not do it.
The way it seems.
We got Mikey.
Mikey.
Mikey.
Mikey.
Hey, what's up, Alvin?
What's up, G-Dog?
What's up, Ross Knight?
Hello.
You over here?
What is it?
And I wanted to know, Gavin, did you know that you're unfair?
Did you know?
That you're unfair.
Yes, I did.
I had a quick thing that I seen.
Mike Bloomberg, I think he tried to run for the Democratic seat.
You guys remember that?
He threw in a bunch of money to that?
Yep, that was a mess.
He threw in, wasn't it $500 million?
Yeah, he did something crazy like that.
And I just seen something the other day.
I think it was yesterday, day before yesterday, where he paid 32,000 felons.
Hold on, let me see what it was.
Dude, it was $14 million for the 32,000 felons to vote in Florida.
Did you guys see that?
Yeah, so I think it was between $14 and $20 million in fines he paid for Floridians so they could vote.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I've seen that.
And I have a lot of black Twitter on my stuff, like Shade Room and WorldStar, whatever.
So that was the headline.
And a lot of the comments were, yeah, using his white privilege to help the black community.
Isn't that racist to assume that all 32,000 felons are black?
Yeah, it is.
And isn't it funny, too, how a guy can pay off all your debts and you're still evil?
Exactly.
All right, man.
Don't want to take no more of you guys' time.
Thanks, Rice Guy.
Thanks, Gavin.
See you guys.
Bye-bye.
Bye.
Rice guy?
Mike!
Is he that Rice guy?
Yeah, no, he said that before.
That's our Mexican friend Mikey from California.
Now he moved with his familia.
And now they're somewhere else, somewhere good.
He moved somewhere with his familia.
He's out of LA, man.
Yeah, he's a very cool person.
No, but he's out of LA.
Yeah, he's out of there.
Like he left L.A., that's what I mean.
It's too violent because of the blacks and the freaking vatos.
Kevin.
This isn't Kevin.
This is Jim.
Doesn't matter.
None of it matters.
So I was just wondering, who would win in a fight?
If you guys teamed up, it'd be Gavin and Biggs against Jim Goad and JB Beverly.
Good win in a cage match.
Jim Goad is a great fighter.
Biggs has a lot of experience.
I think that would be a good fight.
That would be kind of a good fight.
JB's like, he's not a joke either.
That guy's...
Yo, JB's no joke, but I don't think he trains.
Like, I train every day.
You do train every day, yeah.
So I feel like Biggs and Jim would cancel themselves out.
It would be me and J and Beverly.
And I think, though Beverly could probably get me, you know, at different times of our lives, right now, as someone who trains every day, I think I got Beverly.
I think we would have, I would eventually eat his ass.
He boxes as well.
Every day?
Every day?
I don't know.
I doubt it.
I doubt it.
He's a little on the pudgy edge.
Oh, easy.
Yeah, I think it'd be a great fight, though.
Let's set it up.
Oh, you want to do it?
You guys should totally do that in Tyson Leo Cards and shit.
That'd be fucking awesome.
My only fear is I feel like Jim can't hold his temper.
And where the rest of us would sort of have a sense of humor about it, I think Jim would start losing his shit and start pounding the fuck out of someone until we were all going, Jim, Jim, calm down, dude.
He's on your team.
He wouldn't even look.
Big smile on his face.
Yeah, we're like, Jim, that's JB.
He's your teammate.
That is terrifying.
That's awesome.
All right.
Thanks for calling, dude.
Hunting squirrels and romance.
Two of my favorite things.
Amy Dobe.
Actually, three of my favorite things.
I'm sorry, that was terrible.
Was that your Dinesh D'Souza, dude?
That was my Dinesh.
Holy shit.
What if I were to say I want to be a Dana?
I feel like I can sue you for that.
Try again.
What if I told you I can't do it?
I'm done.
Dude, you're Russian.
I want to be a woman.
Why are you Russian?
Hello.
I want to be a toad.
I want to be toad.
Hello, this is me.
I do need to be a toad.
Call back next time with a better Dinesh, okay?
Terrible jab.
You're quiet.
Brutal Dinesh.
Worst Dinesh ever heard.
Listen, I went hunting today, bagged my first critter ever.
Got a squirrel right in the ear.
Nice, dude.
Big game.
You're a big game hunter.
Fuck, am I just roasting myself right now?
Yeah, you're doing a terrible job of making you seem cool.
Nothing wrong with all.
All right.
So you went squirrel hunting.
I'm turning 20.
Yeah, that's true.
It's only small game season right now.
Oh, I see.
Okay.
So you're turning 20 fag.
I'm turning 20 fag.
And I want to know, when did you marry your wife?
And how did you know you wanted to marry her?
I married her when I was 35.
I had known her for five years already, which is way too long.
And I basically did everything I could not to marry her.
I fucked a bunch of other chicks.
We broke up 100 times.
I kept delaying it like a pussy.
And eventually, it just, it was out of my hands.
Like I could just feel it was happening.
So when I proposed to her, I don't know, dude, it was like, it was just a given.
In fact, the only thing that was weird about my proposal was that it took so long.
And I regret taking so long.
I should have banged, I should have knocked her up that very first night we met.
And then we'd have five kids.
So the advice I always give for that, my romantic advice is always, it's not up to you.
It's going to happen.
You can fight it, but you're going to get stuck to her like glue.
Now, there are dudes who will waste a woman's time and dump her, and that exists, and that's morally wrong.
So definitely cut her loose if she's not the one.
But when she's the one, it's going to happen.
So there's two things here.
One, she's the one and you try to fuck it up.
You can't fuck it up because she's the one.
Two, you want to be with this girl, but she's not the one, but you try to force it.
It's not going to work.
If you guys get married, you'll be divorced in four months.
So in a way, it's not really up to you.
That's what I need.
I mean, 25 is kind of scaring me, but I don't want to marry a broad if it's just going to get divorced, you know?
Yeah.
Look, 25 is a great time to get married.
How long are you thinking of marrying this broad?
Not really right now.
I mean, I'm wondering if I should consider it more, I guess.
Well, if you have that many questions, then maybe how old is she?
25.
25.
I mean, don't waste your time if she's not the one, dude.
But I fucked millions and millions of girls, and I didn't really learn anything from it.
I don't know why I bothered.
Yeah, I kind of feel that way too.
Like, it's not like pussy's so different.
You go, oh, some of them are sideways.
Some of them vibrate.
Some of them have the face of Wilfred Brimley on them.
They're all basically the same.
Right, totally.
And I'd imagine, I mean, I've seen a lot of dicks at the gym and everything, and they seem pretty darn similar, too.
You haven't seen mine, buddy.
All right.
Thanks for calling, gross dude.
Now I can't stop thinking about your dick.
Levi talking about the McCloskeys.
I know that dude.
Could be.
Yeah.
I'm confused about something with this story.
The McCloskeys don't live in the suburbs.
They live downtown in the central west end.
When we say we're going out downtown, we go to their house basically.
The bars are there.
The zoo is there.
The major hospitals are there.
So I don't know why that got attached to them.
Well, Levi, are you, so you're obviously female.
I think of Levi as an American Indian male name.
Oh, I was born an American Indian male.
Oh, okay.
That makes sense.
Well, what you say is very interesting because it implies that the bitch who was screaming at them isn't from St. Louis.
Is that what it is?
Because she's, I can't figure it out.
I saw her, I saw her page, and even in that video, they're clearly not in the suburbs.
Like those old brick houses, that's downtown.
Those are the old ones.
Yeah, St. Louis is pretty spread out.
I've been to the suburbs of St. Louis, and it's like big, huge homes very far apart.
And in the central west end, it's the bars, the University of the Hospital, and then just these one-off streets that the Jews, Jewish bankers built, like in the Gilded Age, with those huge houses.
And since the city's such a shithole, those were abandoned forever.
And slowly, I guess it's been gentrified, but there's still abandoned ones.
So they're like city folk.
Even the mayor, like the mayor can't live in the suburbs because it's not part of the city limits.
Like our suburbs are a different county than our city.
So they're just giving themselves away.
Right.
But it's also bringing up all these other questions.
Like, why is someone not from the suburbs, I mean, not from St. Louis, sitting screaming at them when they got their birthday cards?
Yeah, they're probably as confused as I am.
Like, bitch, I don't live in the suburbs.
Fascinating.
All right.
Well, thanks for your call there, Levi.
All right.
Brianna Taylor.
$12 million settlement.
She deserves every penny.
What's up, guys?
What's up?
Oh, by the way, Mike Bloomberg's thing costed over $1 billion altogether.
No.
It says it right here?
Oh, his campaign.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Not the paying off the fines.
Okay.
That's crazy.
How is this legal?
His campaign costing him or paying off the fines.
No, no, the paying off the fines part.
Yeah, how is that not election meddling?
Yeah.
I mean, I feel like that's exactly what it is.
So, yeah.
But okay, so the $12 million settlement.
Like, what the hell is that?
You're basically saying, sorry, guys, we kind of fucked up.
No, sorry.
Breonna Taylor was a piece of shit.
Okay.
She got fired in 2017.
Okay.
And they found a fucking dead body in a car that she rented out.
An EMT worker had a dead body in her car.
That probably means you're not great at saving lives.
Yeah, it's true.
But I mean, and then her GoFundMe is at $6,680,000 right now.
Well, you know, in New York.
$100 million.
Yeah, I know she's not alive, but in New York, a lot of these settlements are predicated on the fact that if it were to go to court, there's so much bias against cops and the city that it would end up being like $120 million.
So what they do is they settle with these huge fees as a way to save money.
Because $12 million is a lot less than $120 million.
Yeah, but what did the cops get?
Their lives ruined?
Well, I'm hoping that this government remotely wrong.
They showed up in their uniforms.
They knocked.
It was not a no-knock.
They did everything they were supposed to do, trained to do, paid to do, obligated to do.
You could argue that we shouldn't have this stupid drug war, and I agree with that, but this isn't like pot.
It's fentanyl.
It's killing hundreds a day.
So she's a major drug dealer involved in major drug deals.
Sorry, but if you, you'd have to be as radical as me to want fentanyl legalized.
I'm sure 99% of the population is against that.
And these guys are really just getting 12 million because everyone's freaking out.
That's it.
Not logic, not justice, not truth.
And the moral of the story is these fucking things are based on audience reaction.
Like Rodney King, the cops were perfectly innocent.
They were found innocent.
And then everyone started freaking out.
And they said, all right, fuck it.
I am never going to financially recover from this.
Make them guilty.
So the first caller was talking about felonies and it being important for them to, and you're also with this too, being back into society and everything like that.
However, statistics kind of are against you.
They did a study of 401,000 state prisoners released in 2005, and they had almost 2 million arrests during a nine-year period.
So an average of five arrests per released prisoner.
Well, maybe that's based on the way we do prisons.
I mean, before giving up on these prisoners, maybe we have to fix these prisons.
Like back when a penitentiary was like the penitentiary that penitentiaries are based on, the one in Philadelphia there, the one that has the word penance in the name, those guys would do like five years for murder and stuff.
And we don't know what their recidivism rates were because we didn't keep records of them because we thought it would be too cruel.
So it's possible that we could fix the justice system and we'd have better post-crime rates.
I don't fucking know.
I mean, or maybe just people are pieces of shit and they'll just continue to be that way regardless of them spending as much time in a prison cell.
That's possible, but I know too many people that have been treated like pieces of shit that aren't.
You know?
Yeah, I mean, you're right.
Yeah.
And we've had so many callers on the show.
We just had a guy on the show like 20 minutes ago who did a year in prison because he sold a pretty girl or gave a pretty girl his opioid prescription.
Should he not, like, should he never be able to buy a firearm again?
No, I mean, he definitely should be able to, you know.
But I mean, that's, yeah, that's, you're right.
I mean, I don't believe in the drug war at all.
So, but I don't believe that people should be able to, you know, be able to deal drugs from their home, you know, or any, like with this whole thing with this releasing prisoners and stuff like that, like that black lady that was released,
you know, I don't know how much cocaine she was dealing.
And I mean, I don't know how many deaths have come from that cocaine being dealt.
Or maybe fighting over it.
That's the thing about the drug war, too.
All of these deaths are fighting for turf.
When you take away the value of the drug, all of a sudden you don't have these turf wars.
There'd be no Pablo Escobar if Coke was legal.
How do they do that, though?
How do they legalize methamphetamine?
Oh, they don't.
Well, they have legalized methamphetamine.
It's called Adderall.
I had a bottle in my medicine cabinet that literally says methamphetamine's on it.
It's definitely different.
It's definitely different.
It doesn't feel different to me.
Adderall felt jitterier, jitterier, I remember.
So Ryan here says that Adderall seems more sketchy than crystal mechanism.
Yeah.
I mean, have you done both?
I could see that.
Yeah, I mean, that's the thing is I've been a little jitter.
I don't like doing, I don't like doing it.
I've done it twice, and that's it.
And I didn't like it.
So it kind of, yeah, you're right.
It did make you make it makes you a little jittery, but I thought, I don't know.
Are we talking meth or Adderall right now?
Adderall.
Right.
And I took meth too.
And what did you find was more jittery?
I mean, I thought meth was, honestly.
Oh, really?
Okay.
All right, good to know.
Fun calls, but thanks for calling.
Jumpy.
Later, man.
Later, dude.
This drawing is so shitty.
I'm not good at drawing, I'm realizing.
Looks like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like those Asian guys that do the caricatures?
Kind of on par with that.
Those are good.
I don't like the style of theirs.
Yours is actually kind of pleasing to the eye.
It's a little more cartoonish.
Yeah, okay.
We got the Skylar.
Hey, Skylar.
Hey, guys.
Hey, buddy.
Sorry, I'm 7 outside so I don't get the shit from the TV.
No problem, Gromane.
Okay, so I did some weird research.
This is a little bit of a conspiracy theory, but I keep seeing little things pop up here and there.
So back when Antifa was redirecting to Joe Biden's website, you remember that whole funny thing?
Yep.
So I looked into it, and apparently at one point, during the DNC, they were redirecting it to it'sgoingdown.org.
And it'sgoing down.org was talking about, they had an article up when I was looking into the whole thing, and they were talking about new African anarchists, but it was African with a K. And so I looked up the New African Anarchist,
and it led me to something called the Republic of New Africa.
Are you familiar with it?
Yeah, this is ringing a bell.
So basically, it was founded back during like Malcolm X's widow was actually the vice president of its going or of the Republic of New Africa.
They drafted a constitution, they drafted a Declaration of Independence, and one of their main credence, or one of their main things that they want is five southern United States in order to build the Republic of New Africa.
All right, fine.
And one of those states is Georgia.
Oh, and that's where they just bought a bunch of land.
That's where they just bought a bunch of land.
Who's paying for?
Maybe this is where some of that BLM money is going to.
Speaking.
Yeah, no, really.
If you look at the people who are like the founders of the Republic of New Africa, they are some violent, fucked up people.
The first dude, like the founder, their first official president, ended up getting accused of kidnapping a white couple in his neighborhood.
And then he fled to Cuba and then fled to China, where he spent most of his time.
And then he ended up coming back and they ended up dropping the charges.
But one of their other presidents is this violent dude who's been in and out of prison.
It's like a whole thing.
You know, this is true, too, of the man who started Kwanzaa.
He was a corrupt asshole.
Yeah.
And Farrakhan and Elijah Muhammad with the Nation of Islam, the five percenters.
Exactly.
All it takes is just one idea and enough people pushing for it.
I wonder if the not fucking around coalition is going to end up with the same fate.
Honestly, I was looking at, it threw me off because I believe it's that coalition or like the African Freedom Fighters or whatever.
Their flag is basically just the reverse of the Republic of New Africa.
It sounds like a bunch of assholes with the bad plan who are getting tons of funding.
And the question is, who is funding this?
Well, I mean, we already saw the BLM and Antifa today with that Holly chick getting them a U-Haul and funding them with her having SoroFest, which, again, I think goes along with your theory of it's just a bunch of lawyers that have Soros connections at some point.
Not necessarily direct connections, but possibly a previous acquaintance or somebody who was part of a company at some point, and then they get together and they start pushing it.
Yeah, it reeks of that.
And you think the beauty of these people being deemed terrorist organizations and stuff is we get discovery and we start to see emails and we see like who paid for that U-Haul?
Who sent her the check?
Why?
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, my wife is telling me that there's been like a bunch of probes into Portland and Tifa phones around here, but they're not disclosing exactly how much information they have acquired and they're not telling Congress.
Congress is just going to throw it up on social media and turn it into this politicized event.
Oh, so the Portland, whatever, FBI are doing their jobs and they're starting to handle this?
Apparently.
Is that where you live?
I've been picked up ever since they've been documented.
Is that where you live?
Yeah, I'm in the Beaverton area.
Wow, it must be fucking insane living there.
Honestly, we don't really get it.
We live right over around the suburb area.
We had one protest, like a bunch of people walking circles around the, it was fucking pathetic.
Like, honestly, we sat on our balcony laughing at them the whole time.
I really want there to be some sort of investigation because we need to know where this money is coming from.
I'm sick of all this, like, they've been deemed a terrorist organization.
You go, so fucking what?
You know?
Yeah.
All right.
Thanks for coming.
Like, it would just be nice to have some transparency.
Have a good night, guys.
Later.
Weird ending there, right?
That happens.
The delay.
Brian.
Hey, guys.
Hey, dude.
Hey, Gavin, I'm going to hurt your ego a little bit, but at the same time, kind of boost it.
What boost?
Thank you for that.
A speedball?
But so I kind of found you a couple years ago when you did that video where you talked to the chick and told her that the coyotes were raping the illegals.
Oh, yeah.
And she had no idea that coyotes were a thing.
Yeah.
But what's funny about that is the left has no basis in reality and they don't understand comedy either.
There's this video going around right now that came out eight years ago from The Onion of a little boy who laughs on a fake talk show about murdering a house intruder.
And a bunch of people I went to high school with and just the video being shared on Facebook, everyone's saying like, oh, how ridiculous is this that they're laughing about this?
See, this is Trump's America.
And it's a total parody about the right and how right looks at it.
Like, it's their meme.
It's their fucking video.
Like, it's a joke about the right.
And they don't even get it.
This is why the Babylon B is having so much trouble these days because their jokes have become reality and now they can't decipher clown world from reality.
And it's just a fucking hilarious video because even at the end of it, they're like, should ugly women, the ugliest woman turns 51 today, or the world's oldest pretty woman turns 51 today.
And they don't even get it.
But also, on a secondary note, every time you yell at Ryan, I think of the movie Law Abiding Citizen, where he says it's called a wrench dumbass.
Or that's what wrenches are for, dumbass.
Oh, that's what wrenches are for.
All right, thanks for calling.
You gave us a lot of homework.
We got a lot to check out.
Can you email that in, by the way?
Just check it out.
That link?
I don't think that was the right one.
Oh, but the wrench dumbass.
Yeah, that I can get.
We'll get it then, dumbass.
All right.
Low-abiding citizen.
Here we go.
Better be good.
Well, that's easy.
Now, you're the one who makes deals with murderers, yeah?
So I've come to make mine.
Oh, I remember this book.
What kind of a confession?
He's for Glasgow, by the way.
Yeah, well, since you want a murderer, what might that be?
A bed.
But a nice bed.
I want a nice new one for myself.
You're going to have to deal with that because the one I have is lumpy, Nick.
It's making me crazy.
Glad, I think you got me confused with the detail people.
See, I don't deal with prison conditions.
I believe those cops are bolted into the cells.
Well, that's what wrenches are for, dumbass.
You know, I saw, I was at SNL live when he was on, and he was doing a bit on the Glaswegian accent.
And I thought, I was there, standing there, there was the seating right before the stage.
There's high-up seating here, and then there's the stage seating where you sit in the front room.
And this probably isn't a great story to tell because I pussied out.
But I thought I could run up right now.
And I was with like staff.
So I wasn't sitting anywhere.
I was standing like with these guys and all the, hello, we got someone over here.
And I thought, I could just fucking run at this desk right now.
It would be the only time I think that SNL has ever been stormed.
And I could say, serious people, by the way, you're mocking the Scots accent.
Scaling Wilprint.
Make up some dumb, like, pretend I'm some Scottish political dude.
No, that's not it.
It was the SNL desk.
Oh, the news, okay.
The news desk.
And that's, you got the wrong fucking actor.
You didn't put in Gerard Butler, you boob.
I did it first, but even less stuff came up.
And I didn't do it.
I thought, fuck it, that could have been huge.
Huge.
Anyway, let's take another call.
Terrible story about a guy posting out or something.
Joe.
Hey.
Hey, guy.
You're cool.
Oh, good.
Well, I'm just calling here from Vancouver, British Columbia, a white minority here.
And I just wanted to talk to you a little bit about Rhodesia.
Okay.
You sound like Nardwar.
Nardwar!
Yeah, I was going to talk to you.
I just came back from interviewing Kirk Obain in my time machine.
Okay.
Yeah, but I just wanted to talk to you a little bit about Rhodesia.
You know, you got those trillion dollars, but you don't have the $100 trillion bill.
Okay, you see, I didn't know anything about Rhodesia a year ago, and I became obsessed with it.
Like, Mugabe died, right?
A year ago.
That's when he died.
I looked up everything about Rhodesia.
I got books.
I got the coins.
I got the old bills.
And then I got the Zimbabwean bills.
$100 trillion note.
That's the biggest note.
I thought I was leading the charge with $10 trillion.
No, you need $100 trillion.
That's the thing.
That's the ticket.
That is amazing.
$100 trillion.
At which point do you just give up and start using American dollars?
Well, they did right away.
They did.
They still do.
They finally made a new note.
They were banned from printing money.
They were banned somehow.
You can't print any more money.
They finally just printed more money this year.
I need to get my hands on it.
That does sound like the sweetest plum.
I have a theory about the no suburbs thing, the abolished suburbs.
They want to create an urban gulag, you see.
They don't want families.
They don't want cars.
You can't even have cars.
But they refashion, oh, it's a walkable city like Vancouver here.
It's a walkable city.
No cars, no kids.
You just go to work.
You love your pets.
They're your fur babies or whatever.
It's like an ant colony.
Like you said, they have their little worker bees.
Yeah, I mean, it's conceivable.
It's a good model for a town of maybe like 100,000.
What happens when you have a place that's like New York that wants 7 million in the day?
You got your worker bees goulet.
That's it.
That's it.
But I love studying Rhodesia because it's a canary in the coal mine for what's going on in the West.
And I got this quote from Ian Smith, who was the prime minister of Rhodesia.
And he said, pushing people forward simply because of their color, irrespective of merit, would be most unfortunate and would, of course, lead to disaster.
It would mean that Rhodesia would then develop into a kind of banana republic where the country would in no time be bankrupt.
Correct, sir.
What year did he say that?
Well, he said it in 1970.
Well, he has an interview with William Buckley in the 1970s, 1960s.
Amazing.
You can see it all on YouTube.
It's all on YouTube, including the song, It's a Long Way to Mukumbura, which has a million views now.
It's a long way to Mukumbura.
It's like Afrikaans a little bit, eh?
Because they had a lot of Afrikaans in Rhodesia.
Well, it's funny that there's this new show called Knots and Crosses that imagines this crazy world where whites are second-class citizens and blacks are in power.
And you're like, hmm.
No, they didn't even have the wheel.
But I couldn't imagine a place where blacks are calling the shots and whites are second-class citizens.
Oh, no, I don't have to imagine.
I can look at South Africa right now, and it's that exact fucking scenario.
Yeah, yeah, that's right.
And you got the EFF down there with Julius Malemba, and he's just the boar and all this other shit.
Shoot to kill.
All right, thanks for calling, dude.
You sound like on the 11th of November in the independent state.
It was much against the wishes of certain governments whose leaders tried to break us down and make us all repent.
But we're all Rhodesians and we'll fight through thick and thin.
We'll leave our land a free land from the enemy coming in.
We'll keep them north of the Zambezi till the rivers running dry.
And this mighty land will prosper for Rhodesians never die.
It's kind of racist.
Beautiful.
They couldn't carry a tune to save their lives.
Thanks for calling, buddy.
Kind of weird for a Canadian to get that involved.
I support it.
It's still weird.
It's a long way to show.
It's a long way from your hometown.
But you can't help yourself.
That's good.
Don't see such a square.
It's a long, long way.
Good jam.
That's not bad at all.
Here's the thing that that guy was Talking about last week, Lucas Armitage bravely defended his family and his home when he stopped an intruder all by himself just by using his daddy's gun.
That's right, and Lucas and his dad Jack are with us in the studio this morning.
Good morning to both of you.
Now, Lucas, can you tell us what happened?
I see the onion logo.
So you found it all by yourself, right?
I take it out a lot.
Sometimes I just look at it.
Right now, it was a burglar, wasn't it, Lucas?
He was trying to steal things.
He looked hungry.
When he saw I had the gun, he put his hands up and said, please don't shoot.
But you didn't listen to him, did you?
I knew it would be easy to shoot him.
Just aim and pull the trigger.
That's right.
Well, and that's exactly what you did.
You shot him in the leg, didn't you?
You put one right through the kneecap, right?
Yeah, it was like, bang, really loud, and he fell down screaming.
And there was lots of blood coming out.
Lucas, you really are a hero.
He started crawling away and crying, so I shot him in the back.
Yeah, you must be so proud of your son, Jack.
And then he stood over and shot him like, bang, bang.
Wait, I'm so radical that I'm watching this and having the opposite reaction of the left, which is good work.
Take me after the JL fight.
Well, how'd you manage to do that, Lucas?
Either you shoot at the temples and pull down, or you shoot at the side of the skull wall.
It's the weakest part of the skull, he's right.
That's very sophisticated.
Based on screaming, ugh.
Yeah, right.
And then I showed off each one of his fingers, and then he stopped screaming.
So, Jack, it was the screaming you heard that woke you up so you could call the police?
No, no, actually, it was Lucas laughing that woke me up.
I had never heard the kid laugh so hard.
There was blood all over me.
They smeared it all over himself.
Really?
I liked the way the blood made me feel.
Oh, now your school gave you a special award for courage, right?
We have a photograph of that award ceremony.
Let's take a look.
Oh, Lucas, you didn't even change your shirt before you got your award.
Why would he change his shirt?
That's his honor shirt.
I want the blood.
Yeah.
It must have been fun getting that award at school, right?
Maybe this is why the onion failed.
He's got a little job.
Because they were so out of touch.
And they were shitting on people.
Sentence he said that you disagree with, or one policy he's going to enact?
Well, one sentence was that if his daughter wasn't his daughter, he insinuated he would have sex with her.
I think he was trying to flatter her.
All that, you know?
Well, they bring it up, though.
They make it a big thing, and then he says, all right, you really have to know.
It's pretty reasonable size.
I didn't watch the debate.
Yeah, he's racist.
He's sexist.
I haven't heard really any firm policy.
We just keep hearing these terms, racist.
What's a racist thing he said?
That he insinuating that Mexico is sending their rapists?
They are.
80% of the young girls across the border get raped.
I thought you feminists hate rape.
I do.
So do you think 80% is a pretty bad stat for women getting raped?
80% of the women crossing the border get raped.
By Americans?
No, by illegals.
Birdie!
Okay.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Don't thank me.
I didn't rape anybody.
I didn't say you did, but you're coming and you're spinning everything that everyone says.
I'm just trying to tell you basic information.
80%.
80% of young women who cross the border get raped.
By illegals?
Yes, by coyotes and illegals.
Why wouldn't you?
Coyote is goodbye.
Kevin, you're talking about animal rape.
Coyotes don't rape girls.
Foolish.
No, not literal coyotes.
You literal idiot woman, you fucking dummy.
And that's, again, what pisses me off about all this is if you cared about immigration, you'd know the term coyote.
You'd know it means top smuggler.
All right.
How are we doing?
We got five more minutes here.
You were going to show the William F. Buckley thing?
Yes.
Yes, I was.
I think this is an indication of how much we have tried.
Now, this is an hour long.
So let's watch it.
Yeah.
To what extent you have succeeded.
What is the literacy rate?
And the black population at this point.
It's very difficult, again, to be precise.
As far as most of the older Africans are concerned, the majority of them never saw the inside of a school.
But today, there are very few who don't see the inside of a school.
They've seen the inside of a skull.
And we do believe in fairly high standards.
I think this is the crux of our policy.
We believe that democracy is...
Do yourselves a favor, folks at home.
Do not Google image Rhodesian farmers and don't do it on the show, please.
Because when you see what rot Zimbabwe and what happened to the farmers of Rhodesia, you will be shaken to your core.
Speaking of which, I finished another drawing, much better than the other one.
It's a werewolf wearing an 88 shirt.
I know that's going to probably be seen as racist.
I was thinking of Max Fish that was founded in 1988.
I have an 88 shirt from Max Fish that I got a long time ago.
Anyway, it's a werewolf out for Bud.
And then, of course, we have Say Her Name, Breonna Taylor.
Not the strongest drawing I've ever done, but that might even make it more valuable.
It's a rarity.
A rarely terrible drawing.
We have Zach online.
Something's going down.
It's the way it seems.
Hey, you guys.
Thanks for having me.
My question is in regards, or kind of a theory, honestly, would be in regards to China and these Black Lives Matter protests.
I know previously you guys had the whole, you know, how money was getting towards Black Lives Matter with that whole pro-China thing.
And if you look at where all the Black Lives Matter protests are happening, they're happening in Washington, in fucking Portland, Austin, and New York, which there's one big city that I feel like is really missing out of all that.
And I feel like it'd be SF.
And my big crazy theory would be that maybe that all of this is happening and these guys are funneling these big techs.
They're getting money from China, and then they're just saying, Well, we don't want that shit on our porch.
So they're basically just outsourcing it and saying, Well, go fuck up Portland, go fuck up Washington, go fuck up Austin.
But as soon as it comes up on our porch, that's where I feel like they're really just not having it.
That's a pretty good theory, my man.
That is pretty pretty good because they wouldn't do it on a black, a city like Detroit because people go, they're fucking up Detroit.
They're fucking up black cities.
But if you fuck up the whitest cities in the entire country, you're not going to get in as much shit.
Well, most definitely.
And I like, I work and I, like, trust me, with all the coronavirus shit, I accidentally got a job at Amazon and that fucking sucked.
But the big thing is, is that I go around and I see all these liberal signs, Black Lives Matter, this.
Yeah, HAIT has no home here, all that bullshit.
But then you would imagine that with all this ideology, there would actually be action that would follow it.
And there's one thing that we haven't seen, and it's action.
And just like we saw recently in, where was that, in Louisville, where they had U-Hauls and they have all this funding.
My theory is that they're just not putting as much money into the Bay Area and putting way more money into the surrounding areas.
So then therefore the violence gets to a higher level, if that makes sense.
Good theory, dude.
Thanks for calling.
Smoke show.
Smoke show of a theory.
What is that?
That's French for theory.
I'm not being, I'm saying it in a funny way, but I do think that is a good theory.
Do you think we could encourage people to write into Gary's mailbag?
We're running very low on those.
Running low on Gary's mailbag, guys.
We only have two.
He came by the studio today, and we said, go away.
We don't have any questions for you.
Gary or Gary video question should be the subject and you just bring that into the mailbag.
Just put Gary's mailbag in the subject.
Yep.
You could send him videos.
Make it as hard as possible.
I like seeing him stumped.
Which you could stump him with eight plus seven.
By the way, you weren't here at the studio today.
He brought over a giant jug of milk.
What?
It was white, and it had no label on it or anything.
And I've never seen this before.
And I go, is this water?
Juice?
He goes, put it, go to the fridge.
Put that in your kitchen in the fridge.
And I go, but what is it?
And he goes, it's milk.
What does it look like?
And it was this like squat, big thing with a white thing on the top.
No, no labels, nothing.
What the?
Just a white.
I regret not taking a picture of it because when I was leaving, sorry, when he was leaving, I go, we don't want this.
And he was like, oh, well, you can have it.
I go, I don't want this, Gary.
Take it away.
And he's like, well, keep it.
He's confused.
Why wouldn't you want perfectly good milk?
If there's nothing I want to take from a bum, it's milk.
I've never seen a container like this before.
It looked like a survivalist's kitchen thing.
Now purify your own milk.
See that one with the blue top right there in the middle?
Oh, no, this one here?
No, no, no.
The blue top, Brian.
No?
Yeah, that.
Regular gallon.
Every time you see milk, it has a thing and it stops, and then there's the top, and the top's a different color.
This was flush.
So it was more like a plastic box with a handle.
What the hell?
It was weird.
Wow.
We have a caller on the line.
Okay.
This is the last call.
Yeah.
Good, buddy.
519.
Hello?
Hello?
Hey, Gav, and it's the crew leader of the Homo Zone.
How dare you?
I sent a...
I DM Ryan thing sometimes, but it's mostly just making fun of him, so I think he's ignoring me now.
No, I'm not ignoring you.
There's too many.
I'm sorry.
I would get back to you if I could.
Too many.
It's okay.
Don't worry about it.
Just stop fucking touching your hair and it's okay.
But I sent a thing about there's a new show or movie or something coming out on Crave.
It's called The Comey Rule.
And it makes Trump look like a fucking absolute villain.
And what's it on?
I don't know why they're still going to hear it.
It's about the whole Comey FBI investigation with Russia.
And even though this was all bullshit, I think they're still going to release it.
My guess is probably like a week before the election.
What's crazy?
What's the case?
I think it's a way to watch.
Crave is like, I think it's like HBO and all that stuff.
It's Showtime.
Showtime.
Or it's a way to watch a bunch of different stuff.
It's like a platform for all of them.
Like Hulu.
Yeah, it's like a Netflix, but it's a Showtime show, though.
It's a big park and all kinds of stuff on it.
Yeah, look up the Comey Roll trailer.
It's fucked.
Jeff Daniels is a scumbag for doing that.
Thanks.
Okay, well, check it out.
Thanks for calling.
Okay, thanks.
Peace.
What the fuck is that?
What is going on with your hair?
What is that?
Troll 2?
That's hair, the face.
He doesn't look like that.
He's in jail.
Suddenly, they're ready to talk.
Oh my god.
What about you?
Am I overreacting?
This is how a mob boss talks.
Who's the president?
Am I supposed to refuse his call?
He just asked you to put loyalty to him above the threat posed by Russia.
We have to expand this investigation to include the president himself.
We believe General Flynn is now compromised.
Available by a full adversary.
This was not us.
This was an attack on me.
It did not disguise.
We've got people thinking I like golden jowers.
And I've been very loyal to you.
You're not investigating me.
The job is about protecting people.
Every decision comes back to that.
I just noticed I can't see the White House from here.
The Egg McMuffin, really?
Was it Barack?
Saw that?
He's the hero of the whole show, I bet.
Is that AOC?
Yeah, yeah, that's Barack.
That never bothered me before.
We should subject ourselves to that.
That looks so bad.
I will do it.
Yeah, let's see if we can take it.
We'll work out.
You know, we'll have some Gatorade.
We'll put on sweatpants.
Nice.
And a sweatband and be like, that sounds awesome.
Again, repeal the 19th Amendment.
There's so many fucking housewives, and I don't mean to disparage housewives, but wives that are going to watch that and accept it as fact, and it's going to affect their fucking voting.
Jesus age Christ.
What a clown world we're living in.
Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.