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July 30, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

42:07

GOML LIVE #58 - LIVE STREAM FAIL (Part 1)

Why did we stop going live? Was it Covid denial? Was it mocking the rioters? Was it praising Barr? Occam's Razor says it was Ryan. Let's go with that.

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	BOOM Ah!
	Such a beautiful day!
	The sun shining in a beautiful way!
	Gonna take a shower, brush my teeth, then!
	Life is ultimately meaningless!
	Uh, uh, but I'll get out of the house!
	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Devin Kimmins!
	But I, I, I'll head to class, trying my best on every test I pass.
	And my grades are screaming in my face.
	Hey!
	98% of what you learn is a waste.
	I get to hang out with all my friends.
	Yeah!
	My friends are the friendliest friends.
	Can't think of a better way to spend my time.
	One of the cool things about having kids is they turn you into hot new jams.
	And that was Odd Ones Out, paired with another YouTuber, Boyinaband.
	Do these people know that they're for kids?
	Eh?
	Um, they have to.
	They know their demo.
	Yeah.
	Do they know their demo as kids?
	If they have a hundred million views, I think they have to be paying attention.
	Is that a hundred million views?
	Yeah.
	Holy shit!
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	If you want to make money, go for kids.
	FGTV is my boy's, he's seven, his other favorite one, and they are fucking, they make like 40 million dollars a year.
	I could not do it.
	I could not do it.
	I don't care how many billions are involved.
	I just couldn't.
	And I'm not disrespecting them.
	Tenacious.
	You made some money.
	Congratulations.
	But, like, being clean and kid-friendly.
	I listen to Kids Place Live in the car if I'm feeling generous with the kids.
	And there's all these songs.
	Like, people have written songs.
	They go things like, you gotta be patient.
	Yeah.
	You gotta understand that your mom's kind of busy.
	Oh, can you imagine just sitting there?
	Like it's worse than at least Sesame Street was like the letter B, but now it's like, Hey, you gotta be patient buddy.
	Or this other either reads these books, these audio books, doesn't read these books, but it's like, uh, Nate, There's Captain Underpants, but there's Big Nate.
	And the writer, you can hear him.
	You can tell he's a super lefty fucking lib.
	And when he narrates these books, they go, and then I wanted to hear what the principal had to say, but he wasn't listening to me anytime soon.
	This is the worst summer ever.
	See if you can find any of that narration.
	I'm getting the heebie-jeebies.
	And it's great for a little kid, and I'm glad that Big Nate exists, because all my... Both my boys went through a Big Nate phase, but... Holy crap, I can't imagine... Well, don't sign up for the audiobook, there's gotta be something on YouTube.
	What were you gonna do?
	Like, play a sample.
	Like, play a sample or something.
	Play a sample.
	Can you imagine making kid content?
	I can't imagine a... I'd rather like go undercover in a biker gang and risk my life every day.
	You know what's awesome?
	Social studies!
	Let's go guys!
	We don't want to keep Mrs. Godfrey waiting!
	Yep, you heard me.
	Social studies is officially the highlight of my day.
	I like it better than English, and science, and math.
	I even like it better than art, which is really saying something, since I happen to be Nate Wright, artistic genius.
	You're probably thinking... Yeah, I could see how kids would enjoy that.
	So when that's, he has that on in the kitchen in the morning, I just like, I'll have my, uh...
	My croissant on the couch, thanks.
	I just can't do it.
	And sometimes we would draw together and I have to put in headphones.
	Cause I can't!
	I came across one of the type of cringe like in the wild while watching Jeopardy the other day and it was like this girl who was like, she's like, so I understand you jumped into a lake.
	And she's like, I did.
	And it was so cold that I'm just getting the feeling back in my leg.
	And everybody's like, it was like old sitcom corny.
	Yeah, chicks do that a lot.
	My wife does that, that fake laugh when we're with strangers and it's like, oh sorry, I didn't know they were over there.
	And I just want to go, stop laughing.
	Why are you laughing?
	I am completely lost.
	No, you're completely lost.
	You don't have to giggle.
	But before we start the show, We want to talk about Blade's movie, made by ReelAwakening.com, R-E-E-L.
	This episode was brought to you by Blades, the movie from ReelAwakening.com.
	I believe it's completely free on YouTube now.
	Check out the comedy Blades at ReelAwakening.com.
	These guys support Censored.TV, so we're supporting them.
	ReelAwakening.com, check out the movie Blades.
	And we'd like to wish happy birthday to Charles.
	From Blades.
	I'm not sure which one he is.
	I believe he's the protagonist.
	Let's say that's him there.
	Happy birthday, dude.
	God bless America.
	You know, I just got back from a baseball game.
	I had kind of a super dad day.
	You wanna hear about my day?
	Heck yeah!
	I was very black and Hispanic.
	I'm known as the only racist in my all-white neighborhood, and none of these people have ever met a black person or a brown person, nor do they know how to talk to them.
	They shit their pants if any of them show up.
	Some black people in the neighboring town started to walk their dogs in our little park, and the whole town had a nervous breakdown, and now there's a fence with giant chains.
	And it closes at noon, because blacks went near them.
	But they hate racists.
	The only thing they hate more than racists is blacks.
	They like the concept.
	Like I thought, back when the shit was really hitting the fan, this woman jogged by me, and she saw me and my driver, and she goes, And blow snot out of her nose onto my driveway.
	This is a woman whose home is probably worth two million bucks.
	Her husband makes, you know, two million a year.
	She doesn't do fuck all.
	Her only job is to stay thin.
	There's an au pair, a nanny, a maid.
	Probably live in.
	So she doesn't do anything but just stay thin so she doesn't get dumped.
	And she chose a neighborhood that's all white, the whitest place I've ever lived.
	And the schools are not, it's easier just to count the black kids.
	In each school, there's probably like three black kids.
	I'm not fucking exaggerating.
	Like K to sixth grade, I think?
	Four black kids in the entire school.
	And if you increase that number, the snot blowers would have a fucking heart attack.
	But yet they're the most dogmatic about racial equality.
	And it's something... I'm not bragging.
	I ain't bragging.
	But it's something that's not really in my mind.
	Like, say you are a racist, right?
	And you hate blacks.
	What are you gonna do?
	Send them back?
	It's just an opinion.
	Like, I don't care how you feel about a race.
	Why don't blow snot at fucking anti-semites, white supremacists, black supremacists?
	I don't give a shit what people feel.
	I fucking hate jazz.
	I despise musicals.
	Flip-flops make me... give me a panic attack.
	When I see kids walking around with shower shoes and fucking ankle socks, I want to chop their legs off.
	When I see kids swimming with underwear on underneath their bathing suit, what the fuck?
	It's, I find it infuriating.
	But I don't put signs on their lawn.
	I don't blow snot at them.
	It's none of my business, really.
	I don't want my, my kids, my sons will never wear Birkenstocks.
	I promise you that.
	That's a fact, Jack.
	Although they have... I have conceded to let them wear slides to the pool.
	We went to a great pool today.
	So let me tell you about my day.
	Woke up very early because I was drunk the night before.
	Had a bit of an argument with my boy, my eldest boy.
	My wife had the tenacity and the lovingness to get a little pack of cards.
	It's like a family game.
	I'll find out what it's called.
	And she, there's questions that you ask the fam.
	Like, if you could have three wishes, what would they be?
	It's a silly little thing to get everyone in the family talking when she pulled it out after dinner.
	And so his first thing he goes is, uh, I don't know much about baseball and he knows everything about baseball.
	So I'll ask him a question like, Hey, if it bounces right in front of the plate, but then goes over the line, is that a foul?
	And he'll just go.
	And it's fucking annoying.
	Mikey!
	So the first wish he has is that he wished my dad knew something about baseball so then I could, you know, learn more from him and I could be in the MLB.
	And if you knew the background of how many times I said, stop doing the smile or we're leaving this park now, like Citi Field watching a game.
	I'm getting really pissed off.
	And then, and I'm just like, I'm getting madder and madder.
	And then the next time the questions go around and he goes, what would your wish be?
	And you go, I wish we would never do family night ever again.
	I was like, all right, that's it.
	I took my plate and I went over to the sink and just smashed it in the sink.
	Oh, shit.
	And went out the back door.
	Damn.
	So today I thought, let's take it down a notch.
	I wasn't wasted when I did that, by the way.
	But I went out to the bars after that.
	So I woke up.
	Oh, time to brag.
	Guess who didn't wet themselves last night?
	Was that you?
	Mr. Cool.
	Mr. Shit-together McGee.
	That rules.
	I started pissing my pants and woke the fuck up.
	Wow.
	You wanna talk about woke?
	I'm woke.
	And a little wet.
	A little damp.
	Well yes.
	One pocket got wet and I woke up Made it to my salon.
	Pulled down my pants.
	I noticed I had many drops down my leg.
	My pocket had been a little moistened.
	A lot moistened, okay.
	But just the pocket.
	Nothing else.
	Dry jeans.
	And I, if I had any doubts, I saw my wife lying down on that couch the next morning, reading the newspaper.
	So, you can laugh.
	Milo, you can put your plastic on the couch when I sit down, but I don't do that anymore.
	I haven't wet the bed in at least a week.
	I'm proud.
	And last night I did not.
	I peed a part of one pant.
	Take the clock down.
	It's bothering the shit out of me.
	I'll deal with the change.
	We've got batteries right there.
	This helps me know when to read ads, folks.
	It's very important.
	And that is not the correct time.
	Don't worry, this show is live.
	Oh, it's only one battery.
	Maybe if it had more batteries, this wouldn't be an issue.
	And by the way, clock manufacturers, this is not a Sony Walkman.
	It's not the 80s.
	So the second that this isn't going to be accurate, it should just stop.
	Like, sort of the time is not really working for us as people who need to know what time it is.
	What time is it?
	Reminds me of the Canadian rap band, the Dream Warriors.
	Wake up in the mornin'.
	Do you remember them?
	That sounds a little familiar.
	Wake up in the mornin'.
	Don't wash your face in my sink, sink, sink.
	They use the song from Jeopardy.
	Don't wash your face in my sink.
	Yeah.
	It's one of the few Canadian things that made it across the border.
	So...
	Canadian rap!
	Nelson Mandela and Margaret Thatcher.
	Wait, this isn't the right video.
	Oh, yes it was.
	I'm sorry.
	There's two different... That one there in jail.
	Jill.
	Okay, we jump in the middle.
	Now the basin is clean to the gleam of the eye.
	You constantly lie when doves cry out.
	But you are not about what you say.
	The image, the field you reveal of what Can you hang that up, please?
	That's not the correct video, but whatever.
	He's got a big stick in the video.
	Um, so that, let's... Let's take it down on the fuckin' Nazi dad.
	It'd be a nice dad today.
	I gotta reestablish my relationship with my boy.
	Um, so, I drove them out, all the kids, to...
	FDR.
	Nature Preserve.
	And there is a pool there that is the biggest pool I've ever been in in my life.
	It would take you probably four minutes.
	To swim from one end to the other.
	I think I've been there.
	And that's good swimming.
	Yeah.
	Dude, it was first of all.
	Oh, yeah.
	First, I went to the gym, though.
	So I got up at seven.
	I had the horrors, as they say.
	And when you're a drinker, you wake up usually like five and you have about an hour and a half of hell where it's just living nightmares and you can't sleep and you feel awake.
	Then if you waited out, you'll go back to sleep for an hour.
	But if it's seven, you might as well get up.
	So you have crippling nightmares, shocking fear.
	Everyone's dead.
	Your children are in peril.
	And then you wake up.
	And, uh... Oh, that's an old... They removed the slide and the diving boards.
	I hate that.
	It's so symbolic to me.
	It just seems like... And the bars are still there.
	There's just no boing part.
	I hate that.
	And that's 11 feet deep there.
	Wow.
	That's honestly a sliver of the pool.
	Like, I hope they show the whole thing.
	Anyway, so I go boxing, right?
	And Larry's there.
	Oh my god.
	Yeah, that is huge.
	I had a good Larry line.
	I said, uh, he's like, what you gonna do?
	Cupcake?
	And I said, look around.
	Look around, Larry.
	You see what those are?
	What do you see?
	You see punching bags, right?
	That's what I see when I look at you.
	Not bad.
	He goes, you talk shit with the best of them!
	I'm bragging that a black man likes my jokes.
	But that's like all blacks and Hispanics, and Italians who grew up in the Bronx, so they're basically Hispanic.
	Like Tommy Bags goes, hey Gavin, how about this heat, huh?
	And the humidity!
	It's fucking brutal, right?
	And I go, yeah, imagine you were white, Tommy.
	It's way worse for us.
	I think that genuinely hurt him.
	Italians do not like that.
	They don't like that joke.
	No.
	Because they weren't white, like I guess three generations ago, they weren't white in the fifties.
	Like the Irish.
	Catholics have been persona non grata until very recently.
	Um, So that's a very Hispanic morning, black and Hispanic.
	And then we go to that pool that is, I think there was three white people there out of maybe 200.
	Wait, show more pictures of it.
	People don't get a grasp of the size.
	It's fucking mental.
	That sort of gives you an idea.
	Oh, that, that, that one gives you a better idea.
	Yeah.
	Wait, is that it?
	No, that's not it.
	Oh, that's a story?
	Let's see here.
	No.
	It was like, those videos were good.
	Let's go back to the vids.
	Okay.
	Um, so we hang out with the Rikens and I noticed like the kids, when you live in a big house, which I do not recommend, Do not get a big house.
	Two kids per room is ideal.
	All your kids in one room is ideal.
	Now, eventually the daughter gets so old, she gets her period and stuff, and she can't be with men.
	That's too weird.
	And she wants to, you know, I don't know, try on her makeup and shit.
	She doesn't need boys running around.
	But you should keep your kids together in the same room for as long as possible.
	And when you get in a big house, one kid's there, you're in the basement.
	I text my kids.
	I text my wife.
	Who's that at the front door?
	It's easier for me to check my cameras on my phone, because I have perspectives of everywhere, than to go check what's going on up there.
	Because with my phone, I can see in 30 directions at once.
	What's that second video?
	That one's actually, I think, Williamsburg.
	Oy vey, why is this so fucking hard for you?
	Show us a picture of the pool at the Franklin D. Roosevelt Nature Preserve.
	Please.
	Don't write FDR.
	Write Franklin D. Roosevelt.
	Not rocket science, dude.
	I could do it in one second.
	No, not from the 1800s.
	You've already shown us that one.
	Yep.
	You're familiar with that one.
	This is all diving.
	It doesn't show the whole pool.
	You see what I go through, guys?
	Is this exhausting or what?
	And then you think, well, maybe I'm being a dick.
	So then you slide over to your computer and it's like, boom, picture.
	Watch this.
	Put in my code.
	I go to the internet.
	Franklin D. Roosevelt.
	Cool.
	You can get a good glimpse of it in this one.
	Type that in.
	Go to Images.
	There's one, Renovated Bathhouse.
	Just 40 miles from NYC, there's another one in Google Images.
	There's FDR Pool 2.
	Franklin D. Roosevelt State Park.
	Keep going down.
	Parks NYGov.
	That one.
	See, was that so hard?
	It's a big pool.
	Very big pool.
	I would say 90% Puerto Rican.
	There was a weird sort of bunch of Mongolians that showed up.
	You know those Asians that look Slovakian?
	The big wide square jaws like Charles Bronson looking dudes?
	Like white looking tough Asians?
	I think they're Mongolians.
	Guess what these fuckers were wearing?
	Their underwear.
	Oof.
	Like the boxer briefs.
	You can't do that.
	I just wanted to go up to him and touch him and go, uh, guy.
	You're in your underwear.
	I wish Sebastian Maniscalco was there.
	What are you doing?
	What are you doing?
	Get out of here.
	He's swimming in the pool with his briefs.
	He's in his fucking underwear.
	What are you doing?
	Like a little kid in his boxer briefs and then his dad in like nice boxer briefs.
	Ralph Lauren it says on the waistband.
	I didn't think that something could annoy me more than bathing suits with underwear, but the Mongolians proved me right.
	They found me something worse, and that is, I should say proved me wrong, and that is just underwear.
	Just underwear.
	And there was a bathroom there, by the way, that was not heavily frequented.
	There was not exactly a ton of men running and lining up to use the urinals, which is disheartening.
	Anyway, so that was my Hispanic morning.
	Then I came back, recorded a show here for like a banked show where we go through the mailbag.
	Then I signed up for Cameo!
	We've been having a lot of trouble with the Justice for Liberty site.
	The people who set it up are very busy.
	So I'm just gonna raise money on Cameo and through the Doodle Auctions, and then send, uh, and then send that to the fund.
	So the site will no longer be where you donate, it will just say what the total is and how many donors, and then I'll use all this Cameo money and all the auction money and send it there.
	So I guess the number of donors will be confusing.
	I'll have to manually count them.
	Maybe I'll just stop, take that number down and it'll just be the total.
	Anyway, I got about fucking... I signed up around 3pm today and I have maybe a hundred people paying fifty bucks.
	Dang.
	That's five grand.
	And you know what we're gonna do for the cameo?
	We're going to green screen it and make it cool.
	None of this, like, I saw Ice Cube's son just on the homepage going, Yo, what's up?
	Bag Money Records.
	You got a new single out?
	I gotta hear that, man.
	I bet it's dope.
	All right.
	Bye.
	It's so obviously a lie.
	So we're gonna do it in the studio with green screens, pictures, movies behind me, music.
	Gonna make it fun.
	None of this half-assed shit on your phone.
	I'm gonna try to make sure they're all in the studio.
	So that's Cameo.com slash Gavin McInnes.
	And I know people have a lot of trouble spelling my name.
	It's phonetic.
	M-C-I-N-N-E-S.
	Um... So that's pretty white.
	Although the guy in my studio is like a Rican, I guess.
	And then I, uh... I put on the game.
	No, then I went to my kid's game.
	And we were playing a local town, New Rochelle, Hispanic kids.
	So I'm watching that.
	Then when I get, then I go get burritos.
	That was pretty Hispanic.
	Is that Joe Rogan?
	No, it's Vince Neil.
	It is?
	It is.
	Hey man, look at that.
	See, I'm never doing that.
	So let's, I, we might've seen this one, but let's play it again.
	Hey, hey, Jake, this is Vince Nino from Olly Crew.
	Hey, buddy, just want to wish you a very happy birthday on New Year's Eve.
	And, uh, this is from, uh, from, from, actually it's from Jess, Veronica, and Itchy.
	So have a, have a great birthday and, uh, take care, man.
	We'll see you soon.
	Keep rocking.
	Wait, if you're not doing this for charity and it's, you're in a private jet, then why are you doing this?
	You need the extra five grand, Vince?
	Did he say $400?
	$400!
	Wow.
	Have you ever seen Manny Pacquiao's?
	No.
	They're short.
	I think we got enough time.
	Excuse me.
	Hi, goodbye.
	Thank you for calling.
	Manny Pacquiao makes, what, $20 million a fight?
	Yeah, he makes a good amount of money.
	Uh, he doesn't need to be on there, first of all.
	Second of all, if somebody's gonna pay a thousand dollars... What are you doing?
	We hope to see you fighting.
	Why you let me punch you like that?
	I get punched.
	He doesn't seem punchy, actually.
	He just seems like a weird Filipino.
	Pilipino.
	Thousand bucks.
	Sheridan and Rachel, happy 9th anniversary, both of you.
	May God bless you and thank you for all your support, all your prayers and support.
	God bless you and keep hopping.
	Mine is gonna be so fucking good, especially when I'm up against all these shitty lame-os.
	Thousand bucks.
	Like, it's so clear that you don't give a shit about the people.
	That's an advertorial.
	That's lame.
	Try to be fun.
	His mouth makes me want to eat a pussy.
	Sideways.
	Oh, shoot.
	We forgot to read our mid-roll.
	- I need a pussy.
	Mid-roll?
	Sideways. - Hi, this is Mene Pacquiao, I'm in Cameo. - All right, that's enough. - Oh shoot, we forgot to read our mid-roll.
	Mid-roll, of course.
	Of course.
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	They got those gummy things that help you sleep.
	Tinctures take the edge off coffee.
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	And I had some tinctures, and I felt totally normal, but I still had the coffee buzz.
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	All right.
	Here's something I meant to say.
	I wrote a note to myself while I was watching the game.
	So this black kid on the other team, these kids are all 11, 12 years old, right?
	He's running for the ball.
	He runs forward and the ball bounces out of his glove.
	So the runner is safe.
	You didn't catch it, but he did catch it.
	See he had his sunglasses on and as he dove for the ball his sunglasses bounced off his glove and From far away if you're not you see something go like that and it looks like a ball coming up, right?
	Now, I don't know what his parents are like.
	I didn't see them there actually but uh I thought this is really crucial because if he had been given the talk where he's told everyone is racist, then that incident would be like, I can't catch a break cause I'm black.
	I even, I caught the ball.
	He was out and everyone said, no, he's not out.
	Let's something about my sunglasses, some bullshit lie about my sunglasses.
	It's so fucked up.
	You see, You get what I'm going?
	Yeah.
	And if he hadn't been taught that, he wasn't taught the talk, then he just goes, oh shit, my sunglasses fell off.
	Sometimes life ain't fair.
	Like when I told you I pretended I was black one day.
	In your brain.
	In my brain.
	And I made everything like an injustice.
	And I sat down next to that guy we now call C. Kiffa, the South African.
	And when I sat down and I think he moved over, this is before I had met him.
	As black me, I went, oh great, South African.
	Probably wishes he had apartheid here.
	But as white me, I realized he was hitting on that girl.
	So you can, once you get into that negative mindset of everyone's out to get me, then everything is about you.
	Oh, this pen doesn't work.
	Great.
	Probably because I'm black.
	It's like antisemitism.
	When you think the Jews are responsible for everything, it rains on your birthday and it was the fucking Jews.
	Get out of that mindset.
	Great, now I don't have a pen.
	I get it.
	Sometimes the complaints will be false.
	You're just kind of an eyebrow thing there, too.
	Yeah.
	With our magazine boy.
	My boy's on the cover of a magazine?
	So I thought that was a heavy moment.
	And I kind of wish I knew if... I feel like if he went home and went, yeah, mom, I caught a kid out and they said, no, he's not out because of this, obviously.
	That's fucked up.
	I'm going to talk to the coach.
	I am beyond angry.
	And then I also went to, I got my kids some burritos, more Hispanic stuff.
	Meanwhile, I'm super dad.
	I've been going since 7am.
	It's now 6pm and it's all Hispanics, right?
	But this one white girl and she's like, what?
	I go, a kid's burrito and then a normal size burrito, but the same thing in both.
	Okay.
	So you're getting more stuff.
	I am getting one more.
	You finished the kid's burrito.
	Now I want a big boy burrito.
	Not for me, but for a bigger boy.
	Okay.
	Now?
	No, tomorrow.
	She didn't say now.
	But she was being dumb.
	And I just thought, women in the workforce, women in general, they've taken their magic power, right?
	And they've thrown it in the garbage.
	I'm not having kids.
	I'm not.
	So what are you left with?
	You without your magic power.
	It's Clark Kent.
	And I made a note to myself, can we watch some footage of Clark Kent?
	Because it's women in America today.
	It's women writing these terrible blog articles.
	It's Molly Jong Fast, the editor-at-large at Daily Beast, and her shitty comments.
	She just tweeted out recently, uh, if you're anti-Antifa, then you're anti-antifascism, so aren't you pro-fascist?
	When did you first hear that?
	A hundred years ago?
	And she's barfing out that fucking juvenile logic?
	Yeah, and if you're pro-choice, you're anti-life.
	And if you eat buffalo wings, then you're not eating birds, you're eating buffaloes.
	You gotta, Clark Kent, from any movie.
	Anyone?
	Okay.
	Okay, let's see women.
	So these are all people working.
	That's a woman.
	That's a feminist.
	Uh, hi, oh, uh... Hey, Clark, go get a story!
	But walk there.
	Oh, hi.
	I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
	Hi.
	Oh, people are working over there.
	I should try to get involved, or if it doesn't work out, I'll sue them.
	Oh, that's one... That's a woman doing something feminine.
	- Oh, wow.
	- We get psychologists, we get-- - Lois, you're pushing a bunch of rinky-dink tabloid garbage.
	The Daily Planet has a position.
	- Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
	- Oh, gosh, I'm sorry.
	I didn't even say that like that. - Now, the only thing different between Clark Kent and Women in the Workforce is Clark isn't gonna sue them to death and try to get $4 million.
	Remember those black women we had on the show the other day who were suing because racism made their babies shrink?
	Yeah.
	People are so racist here that my baby came out.
	Early, and it was only one pound.
	This is a Me Too movement right here, look.
	Yeah.
	She grabbed at my penis.
	Sueing.
	HR.
	Call HR.
	I wonder if Superman has a big cock.
	Wouldn't that suck if he wasn't?
	It was like just average?
	Yeah, like the Jesus thing.
	That'd be sucky.
	Don't tell me.
	He sends a check every week to his sweet gray-haired old mother.
	Actually, she's silver-haired.
	Turn it up.
	And this is the competent woman.
	And there are competent women in the workforce, don't get me wrong.
	Maggie Thatcher was competent.
	Any more at home like you?
	Uh, not really, no.
	Barbara Corcoran was competent.
	I didn't think so.
	Why do we feel subjected to Clark Kent all fucking day?
	And why are they all in newsrooms?
	They run the company's social media and they blog and blog and write and write and come up with crap!
	Sorry.
	Here's a weird thing.
	People smarter than me keep telling me and I don't get it.
	I don't see why it's a big deal.
	They say type in any three numbers and With new cases and then COVID.
	Into Google search.
	So let's say 747.
	747 new cases.
	All your porn's gonna come up.
	There's no porn.
	Only porn that you force me to look at.
	Look at that.
	747 new cases in Indiana.
	Okay, now put in 307 new cases COVID.
	Or just new cases?
	Okay, now put in 307 new cases COVID.
	Or just new cases, is that what you're supposed to do?
	Mm-hmm.
	307.
	I noticed, now the smart guy who told me this, I would put in new, I'd make up five numbers.
	11,462 new cases.
	I think you have to write COVID.
	Let me check what he said.
	Illinois officials announced exactly the number you said, 1,462 new cases of coronavirus.
	Oh, sorry, you don't put in COVID.
	You're right.
	Just that and new cases.
	1462.
	The year that punk broke.
	1977.
	So it's not just three-digit numbers.
	Okay, so smart people say to me, this is fucked up.
	What does this mean?
	And I go, it's not fucked up.
	This has been, like, the biggest news.
	As Jim Gode said, this is a World War II moment.
	People will talk about this for centuries.
	Our kids are gonna have weird tics about washing their hands and masks and stuff.
	This is a major fucking deal.
	So there's been probably millions of articles written about this, not just in America, but all over the English-speaking world.
	Because we're obviously not pulling up German articles, right?
	So England, America, Canada, Australia, New Zealand.
	There's been a lot of fucking cases here.
	So I don't find that that surprising.
	It's like someone's talked about, they found this book about pandemics, and it said that there'll be this corona-linked virus that will cause a global pandemic, and it'll start in China, and everyone was freaking out that this author saw the future, and I'm like, I don't know, there's probably 742,000 pandemic thrillers that go back 50 years or so.
	Yeah, you're gonna say China, and they always come from fucking China.
	So you don't think it's like a glitch where it just changes the number or some crap like that?
	You think that there's an article for every single number?
	Of course!
	What are you saying?
	That this article used to say 741 and now it says 777?
	I mean... You think they have these organic headlines that are linked to the bar search?
	What?
	Where can... It could be altered based on what you type.
	Go look at it way back!
	Yeah, I'm gonna try.
	So to the smart guy that sent me this, I don't get what you're freaked out about.
	And I took your three and I raised you to 10,000.
	Look at it right now.
	Uh, 13,333 new cases.
	Oh, you're still doing that one?
	Right now, 13,333 new cases.
	Oh, you're still doing that one? - 13,333. - New cases.
	You got one?
	No, that number's a little too high.
	It could do four digits.
	Go down, go down.
	It doesn't have to be in the... There we go.
	What's that?
	Click on that.
	So maybe that did say 13,333, and then it went down or up or something.
	Amen.
	Anyway, maybe you folks at home can tell me why that's so fucking crazy.
	I ain't freaking out.
	Oh, we're past the paywall time.
	By the way, I have some, I guess, bad news.
	I told you today I was going to go through the parenting thing and talk about babies and then two to three.
	We were going through it earlier and it's like a two hour thing.
	We only have half an hour or 25 minutes before we start taking calls.
	I'm going to make it a censored dot TV presents and really take my time because I'm talking about how to raise kids.
	And again, I'm no fucking expert, but I think I did a pretty good job.
	From zero to 13.
	13 years of something that I work hard on every single day.
	You can't fart it out in 25 minutes.
	So we'll be postponing that probably till Thursday.
	We have a surprise show a week from now.
	Uh, where we're going to be broadcasting live from a secret location.
	Um, so it's going to take us a while to get to that location.
	So Monday and Tuesday we have Mailbag, catching up on the Mailbag episodes.
	Then live from our secret location, seven days from now.
	And then, uh, Thursday, so a week tomorrow, we'll do the thing.
	Oh!
	God, I remembered.
	The auction's over in an hour.
	So if you liked anything, the way to get to the auction, it's very hard.
	So I advise people you go to censored.tv and then look at Doodle Auction.
	We raised how much money?
	For Zenoa, the Kinsman family, $3320.
	The last one was $3300.
	So that's just in the past month or so, we've raised $6,000 for them.
	And then my fucking cameo is $5,000.
	That's $10,000.
	If we keep doing this, by the time those guys get out, I feel like they might be able to have $50,000 each.
	Nothing, it doesn't make up for the four years they were incarcerated, but it's something.
	All right, so yeah, go in there and bid.
	If I were you, I'd be bidding on my History of Western Civilization, History of America.
	It hurt to sell those.
	You have hurt me today.
	All right, last read.
	After the paywall, which is, we're gonna hang up on you freeloaders.
	What the fuck are we on anyway?
	BitChute.
	BitChute?
	How many people watch that?
	Oh, I don't know.
	I'm not one of them.
	You know who got banned?
	Some guy who was called the best of Gavin McInnes.
	People assumed it was me.
	And he was doing little clips.
	Stealing clips.
	Illegally.
	But they were short, so I don't enforce it.
	It's probably good for business to have a bunch of five-minuters.
	But they shut him down.
	And it was when I was talking about nice white people.
	That was the clip that finally broke the camel's back.
	And if you recall, that was me saying the New York Times was right.
	They should be mocking these liberals that don't send their kids to mixed schools after talking about it and say they will.
	It was a very effective and cool way to lampoon liberals.
	And that is why I'm persona non grata, because I'm persuasive and I'm no longer a lefty.
	He made Vice.
	He made hipsters.
	What if he makes Trump hipsters?
	What if he makes Trump hip?
	That's not good.
	All right.
	So after the paywall, the 300 people who watch BitChute are missing out on this.
	Maybe BitChute will ban me for saying that.
	But once again, what is this now?
	It's BitChute.
	A thousand subscribers.
	Um, Caller 1, and please, Ryan, tune in to Caller 1 and Caller 2.
	You always forget this.
	Free $50 Bub and Hanks gift card, bubandhanks.com, plus two pairs of Heshy socks.
	Heshy wear.
	H-E-S-H-I.
	Heshy.
	Hesheware.com, promo code Gavin, 20% off all orders.
	Why don't you pull that up?
	Hesheware.com.
	Are you writing a note to yourself to remember the first two callers?
	Another prize.
	H-E-S-H-I-W-E-A-R.
	There they are.
	That's how you know you're there.
	So promo code Gavin, 20% off all orders.
	We're going to give you a free pair of Collar 1.
	And also Bubba and Hank's.
	B-U-B-B-A-A-N-D Hank's.
	H-A-N-K-S.
	Delicious meat.
	I especially recommend the burgers.
	And you'll get a $50 gift card.
	So both Collar 1 and Collar 2 get that.
	Socks and the Beef don't have them at the same time.
	And don't put the meat on your feet and eat the socks.
	Made that mistake.
	That's a kid-friendly joke!
	Oh, also, our ad guy is sticking to his guns with this censored claws bit.
	And he says, why does censored claws always come through the chimney?
	Because he knows better than to try the back door.
	And then he adds, oh!
	O-H-H-H exclamation mark.
	Oh!
	So I assume that he's got a hold of a Santa joke book.
	And it's changing the jokes from Santa to Censored Claus.
	Alright, so that's us signing out for the free portion of the show, which of course is paid for by sponsors.
	We know what the callers are getting.
	We'll be taking calls in 20 minutes.
	And we still have a lot to talk about.
	About political correctness, professors getting fired.
	We have a million riot updates.
	I don't know if we're going to have riot exhaustion.
	And, uh, I'm really parched.
	Is that because I was drinking last night?
	I feel like my body wants me to have a Gatorade, but I want to have a beer.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.
	Neither of those will make you happy.
	Trust me.
	I'm able to choose what I pursue!
	You're a slave to people born richer than you.
	Then screw it!
	I'll keep going in, then I'll party on the weekend, I'll sing!

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