S02E194 - SUMMER MAILBAG CATCH UP - PART ONE [2020-08-03 - S02E194 - SUMMER MAILBAG CATCH UP - PART ONE]
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When I step onto the stage, see the curtain raise.
I'm a baron, I've got someone to play.
All the crowd are in the seats Looking straight at me Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes They applaud in the ashes Locking the door till the matinee This song gets really good soon.
So I'm reluctant to cut away.
By the way, I've been doing this when people demand I wear a mask, I just put this on.
And no one ever says anything.
They just go, sounds a little joking, but I've never seen that before.
Give a patent.
But I've never been kicked out of a place for having this.
They're from South London.
Art school kids.
I love South London.
Buckingham Palace, I think, is down there.
It's like breathe.
You can breathe.
It's not all peaked up.
The rivers there.
it up That's Kiro Kiro Bonito.
I think she's half Japanese.
That song is only acting.
What are you doing?
What's the matter with the punk bang?
What's the problem?
Oh, it's no pedal.
That's line.
It's no pedal.
What top line you know?
No good.
What are you, Swedish now?
They say no, no good.
I can't tell.
Special episode, summer episode.
You're sick of the news.
Our mail's piling up.
I don't want to talk about the riots.
I don't want to talk about racism.
Let's just make this whole episode catching up on the male bee.
What's better than the male bee?
Actually, what's worse than the male bag?
I've always used that as proof that God sees women as the fairer sex.
I mean, if you flew down from outer space on a plane and you saw a woman and a man, an attractive woman, an attractive man, Bradley Cooper and that chick we just saw, nude.
You'd go, well, I think these are the nicer ones.
Look at the guys, what is that, a bag?
And Bradley Cooper would go, well, my cock looks nice.
And the only one would go, no, it doesn't.
Maybe if you got a boner, that looks okay.
It looks actually looks silly.
Maybe if you're lying on your back, you get a boner.
I see the appeal.
But a bag?
And I think when you get a boner, your bag turns into like a walnut.
And it's just a fuzzy walnut.
That's not attractive.
So it's a bag.
I loved arguing with gays too.
And I go, come on, guys.
I get a dick.
I get like if a guy's really muscular, you're into that.
Okay, sure.
You probably have similar buns kind of things that I like, like, you know, bunny buns.
But a bag?
And I remember one dude, I can't remember if it was Chadwick Moore or Bruce LeBruce, and he just got mad at me because I wouldn't shut up about it.
And he just goes, you have no appreciation for the human body.
Well, I have no appreciation for a bag.
There's no woman diddling her bean right now thinking of a bag.
And Bradley Cooper's bag looks like a homeless man's bag, looks like my bag, looks like Ryan.
I've never seen Ryan's bag.
I've never been to the fag zone.
But I would imagine that your bag looks as stupid as mine.
There's no fag zone.
Yeah, it looks ridiculous.
Judging by the way you behave, you probably have much smaller balls than me.
I mean, perhaps.
But your bag, it looks like mine, right?
Yeah, it's just a goofy little bag.
Stupid bag.
Have you ever noticed if you stare at your balls that it's a factory?
Excuse me?
Very intensely.
I'm doing it way too fast now.
But at the sperm factory, your balls are, I'll speed it up, are going really?
Yeah.
But at like a mile a year.
Like a mile a year.
What a weird measurement that was.
A mile?
Have you walked a mile in my bag?
In the course of your lifetime, your testicles will have traveled up and down to the moon and back.
It's romantic.
Anyway, let's jump in, shall we?
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes together.
Let me touch it.
You know, every time I see that intro and I see you make your sad face when your dad's gone, I feel nothing, right?
Welcome to the club.
I sometimes wonder, what's it like to have feelings?
Yeah.
Uh-oh, we're getting a spinning beach ball on this end.
Bags and balls.
My mail is always crashing.
Are PCs better?
Have you ever had a PC?
Well, I'm kind of glad it crashed the first.
No.
No.
Because this one just says Ryan is gay.
Hmm.
I don't like that at all.
He has sex with women about as often as gays do.
Good point.
He is as attracted to Ashley St. Clair as gays are.
She's pretty.
Uh-oh.
Is it beach bowling?
See an email here from Tacky from Mandalina Theodoracropolis.
That's my old boss at Tacky Mac.
Oh, it's just an ancient mail.
As this thing recalibrates itself.
Well, I could read this one real quick.
It's just words.
Kevin.
No, thank you.
I'm the boss.
This is from a guy named Jared.
He's not not gay, Jared.
Whatever happened to not gay Jared?
Ooh, I don't know.
Him and Crowder had a real brutal falling out.
Three's a crowd.
Yeah.
Jared.
He was his wife was pregnant last time when he was whatever he was fired.
Not gay Jared.
Not Jay Garrett quit Louder with Crowder in 2018.
This was updated a month ago.
This is what happened to right-wing commentator.
Now, this is on Distractify, and they're obviously going to be biased.
He's a political commentator.
He quit in 2018.
He and Steven venture so far as to hit up an Antifa protest.
Blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This is the way Zoomers write.
It's just like, I get all their notes.
And then it just sort of ends.
So it's like, notes, notes, notes, notes, so it's bye.
Yes, this was the official story.
It might be true, too.
I have no reason to doubt it other than a vague circumspection about how after Sven Computer's departure, it was probably a kid, though, claimed another Redditor.
I heard that Jared had gone full 1488.
I know that not to be true.
According to some rumors...
According to some rumors circulating on social media, his abrupt departure might have had to do with the long-standing financial difficulties the show was facing.
I don't think it has long-standing financial difficulties.
We went to their office in Dallas.
It was beautiful.
There was expansion going on.
Yeah, it was a whole fucking long thing.
They had a makeup room.
They had a costume room.
And remember, he was leaving that because it was too small.
Yeah.
And he was moving into, I don't know how to describe it, basically where you would go play racquetball and have lunch and maybe play digital golf where you swing and then your ball is sort of interpreted.
You ever see that?
Yep.
It looked like a, what would you call that?
Kind of like a recreation center?
It's not, but it's that size.
Like a discovery zone was just this open room with like a lot of different subrooms to it, lots of areas, I guess.
Lots of different areas.
You're so lucky you went to school in the Bronx where everyone else was retarded.
Yeah.
Because if a normal teacher that was an earthling heard you talk, you'd be in a special class.
I guess.
Well, I was for a bit.
But it wasn't it what I had to go through, the punishment class?
Or was it genuinely because you were retarded?
No, no, no.
It's because of my behavior, like peeing on the floor.
Peeing on the floor.
Because my girlfriend wanted to see my penis.
Yeah, she wanted to see your penis, not in action.
Yeah, it was like, well, here's what it does.
I mean, while we're here, it pees.
You never give the customer more than what they ask.
According to some rumors circulating on social media, blah, blah, blah.
So that's bullshit.
As a theory, as A-theory has it, this is great reporting.
I've never heard of this site before.
As A theory has it, several cast members weren't paid on time.
Some, like Sven Computer, were reportedly owed as much as 10 grand.
Hmm, Team Crowder appears to be melting down behind the scenes.
Nope.
Apparently he owes someone named Sven Computer 10 grand.
Yeah, you just said that.
He's commenting on his own sentence from a sentence ago.
This is the very bottom.
Non-endorsement of Woman Benjamin.
One person tweeted, unfortunately, neither Jared nor Stephen have been outspoken about why Jared left or about any financial hardship.
So we have to talk.
So this is the most pathetic article I've ever read.
Oh, of course it's a woman.
Lila Cosma.
Is this even, she says, did you know that Big Brother originates from the Netherlands?
This is in her writer bio.
This is a random example of the kind of stuff Lila Cosma spends her time thinking about.
And she just writes about TV, I guess.
Jesus Christ, women can't write.
I'm sorry.
Of course there's exceptions.
Laura Hillebrand, Naomi Schaefer Riley, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin, the chick who wrote Hero of the Empire, the Churchill biography about his time in South Africa.
But when you read their writing, the perfect example of this is that woman who went down south to point out that this man's magic Bible, this 85-year-old man's magic Bible, was not in fact magic.
Mystery solved!
He claimed it bleeds oil.
It doesn't.
Yes.
The least educated county in America has a geriatric who has a Bible that his other old dumb friends think is it magically seeps oil.
It doesn't.
He's buying the oil from a hardware store.
You flew down there?
What are you doing?
You want to tell, why don't you go to the Netherlands and tell all the geriatrics there that gnomes don't exist while you're at it?
And why don't you pay attention to the fact that Astrology doesn't exist?
Because I bet she believes in that.
What were you just showing his Twitter?
Yeah, yeah.
He doesn't follow Steven Crowder, apparently.
Let's see.
What's his most recent tweet?
I'm going to text him right now.
Party loyalty is why all of the news.
Gay.
I hate when people update their names and like my buddy Tommy Fatso Jim is now like Thomas Moriello.
And I don't recognize him.
Okay, the last was me giving him a password to check out censor.tv.
Well, that's pretty recently.
Right?
When was this?
Oh, I offered him a show in May.
So that was about a year ago.
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah, I spoke to him a year ago.
How you been, I'm going to ask.
How you been what, Chu?
Been up to?
Um.
Got a job?
Uh.
And then I'm just going to throw in, just so it's not too serious, Scared of snakes?
You never.
No.
All right, let's get back to work here.
Enough fucking around Lila Cosma, you incompetent boob who writes garbage for a living.
And the worst part is she tells her parents she's a writer.
No, you're not.
You write.
You're a typer.
A writer conveys ideas and tells stories in a compelling way that is clear and concise.
That's what a writer is.
I would argue Jack Kerouac was not a writer.
He was a typer.
Okay, so that's enough for Jared.
Oh, wait.
Did I even read his letter?
I haven't read his letter.
You just read the name Jared.
He said, what about Jared's, huh?
Jeez.
All right, folks.
Gavin and Rye, gay guy.
Terrible.
And this one is eating the coupon.
Eventually, it just becomes a fact.
You know?
I felt worse.
I felt ugly.
I felt gay.
And just said, maybe we should compile a bunch of retreats.
Like, he just powered through that.
I felt ugly.
I felt gay.
I felt, and it just didn't happen.
But then you have Sharon Osborne where she goes, who is going to clean your toilets, Mr. Trump?
And then Rosie Prez goes, oh, and then she goes, in that.
Or when Michael Richards said the N-word 10 times and the whole audience goes, what the fuck?
And he goes, you see, words.
Yeah, yeah, we know, but it's a very bad word.
And you said it at the person four times.
Speaking of those comments, those racist comments do not help.
And if you kick every Latino out of this country, then who is going to be cleaning your toilet, Donald Trump?
Oh, that's not true.
In a lane, they always have to do that.
The way she delivered it, she was ready for woo!
So she was like, slammed on break.
And who is going to clean your toilets, Donald Trump?
Wait, what's happening here?
Is my mic on?
Why is this silence?
Is this thing on?
In the sense that, no.
You know what I mean?
Then who is going to be cleaning your toilet, Donald Trump?
Oh, that's...
Oh, wait, I want to hear the rest.
Then who is going to be cleaning your toilet, Donald Trump?
Oh, that's not...
You know what I mean?
Like, what I'm saying is that.
There's more jobs to be.
In LA, they always.
But the donors are not only don't.
I didn't mean it like that.
Come on.
No, I would never mean it like that.
Monday night, Jimmy Fallon portrayed Trump.
I'm sure 90% of the staff at Marlotto, who changes the sheets, is suspected.
Worst Obama face I've ever seen.
It's a great Frankenstein.
Someone says your next live show should be Weird Jesus, a drawing of him.
That's a good idea.
I hope our tech team unsubscribed that guy for disparaging my daughter.
Okay, he's responded.
He said, only psychopaths aren't scared of snakes.
This is not gay Jared.
Oh, cool.
I'm not sure how much I should say here.
He runs a social media business promoting comics.
And we're doing pretty good.
Promoting stand-up.
Okay.
That's fun.
Good to know.
Where do you live?
I assume he's still in Dallas?
De Los.
De Los.
Yes.
Okay, we're still not through this letter.
Oh, right.
This is letter number one.
Letter number one.
Gavin Rai, gay guy.
So far, the name, your gayness, has led to, what, half an hour of content?
It's pretty good.
He says, um, names apartment, the fag zone?
Not a good start.
I agree, Jared.
Also, go back and listen to his explanations why he did not put the moves on that Sinclair chick and why he doesn't use Tinder.
Very interesting angle, sir.
My guess is he's on Grindr.
I know this isn't what you want, and I'm sorry.
My son's on the cover of a magazine?
Oh, I think I did it.
My son's on the cover of a magazine.
No, he does a.
The eyebrows are up, and then there's a dip.
My son's on the cover of a magazine.
I feel like we have to climb a mountain and find a guru in Nepal and spend three weeks, no, three months, not speaking, but only working on that.
Oh, we would nail it.
Yeah.
I give it one month.
Tim Curtin, the fart zone.
Where I guess instead of gays filling your apartment, it's farts.
I kind of live in the fart zone.
If Ryan lives in the quote-unquote fag zone, so these two letters came.
One came at 4.18 p.m.
The other came 48 minutes earlier from a totally different part of the world.
If Ryan lives in the quote-unquote fag zone, then you live in the fart zone.
Oh, okay.
That makes me sad every time I see that.
That little guy's gone.
I remember before he could talk, I was taking a shit.
We had one door that didn't have a lock.
It was a sliding barn door that was near the mudroom.
And he would just open it up and go, ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
And just march around.
I have a video of it somewhere.
Anyway, at first, as an apprentice subscriber, I wondered if Ryan was a punk-ass bitch.
Now I am certain he is not.
Oh!
Ryan is an awesome dude.
I understand why you guys are buds.
Yeah, wait, what?
Buds is a stretch.
Homeboys getting that like, get it.
Pfft!
laughing These shoes are really quality.
I'm going to fuck whoever wears them.
I was very proud of Ryan after watching your surveillance video of that fight.
Now, that was very good for your brand, Ryan.
By the way, you guys represent The majority.
Never forget that.
I got your back.
Dope.
Tim, aka Poopybud Farthead.
That's hilarious.
And I like it.
Peter Peterson.
Oops, I just said his name.
Here is that video.
I hope you receive it properly.
Yeah, it didn't work.
And I assume for you?
Next.
It wants a password.
I requested the access.
Yeah, this is a thing.
You're in?
Well, now it wants a recovery phone number.
What?
Protect your account.
Oh, God.
All right, I'll try to crack it over.
Oh, wait, I think I got it.
Okay.
That one.
And there are even alternative treatments available for ventilators today.
I don't.
Malaria?
I have it.
Oh, what's she saying?
Yeah.
Anyway, so this is an example of censorship.
We have censorship from the little guy and we have censorship from big tech.
That one.
And there are even more treatments available for ventilators today.
And you may be asking, why in the world should you believe me?
You don't have to.
I'm going to let you hear from doctors.
These are some of the doctors that I've been talking to for the last 14 weeks about this virus.
They're doctors of cannabis.
They work at a cannabis dispensary.
For our future.
Just kidding.
I'm on their side.
Camera guy.
If there's a dark black person in the crowd, maybe base the contrast on them, and the white people can be a little more blown out.
Because I just see a chocolate thumb.
And these doctors want to help move you out of this paralyzing state of fear that so many people in this country are in so that you have the facts, you can make the best decision for yourself.
I don't know what we're supposed to do with this, sir.
A link would have been much more helpful.
Listen to the doctors.
It's been around whether it's home could link to it.
Wait, I like her thing because they start heckling her.
Right?
Which George Washington used in the Revolutionary War.
We find it in tree barks.
This is not a controversial drug.
Anybody sitting at a computer now can go and Google hydroxychloroquine, and they'll find that before 2020, there was really no controversy about this drug whatsoever.
This is a made-up controversy.
You saw this demon semen, right?
Finally coming forward.
What's that?
On MSNBC's Chiron, it's a hydrochloroquine and demon semen.
What?
Yeah.
Demon semen, like in Rosalita's baby?
Yes.
Mia Farrow when she got raped by the devil in that movie with David Cassavetes.
I feel like I should just send you to a basic cool culture, you know, camp for a week.
Yeah, that could work.
I need to see Rambo and Rocky.
No, you don't need to see that.
You need to see Cassavetes movies.
You need to see Woody Allen movies.
It's a little didactic.
So what happened?
He called it Demon Semen?
Let's see right there.
Trump again defends doctor who believes in alien DNA, demon semen, and hydro.
Oh, he retweeted a guy about demon semen, and that made it to the news.
But what did the demon semen guy say?
Are you telling us about a story and you have I'm learning more about it on my own through your computer?
Okay, he retweeted or in another time that same doctor has said something about demon semen.
Yeah, of course.
They just dug through his stuff and he was like, because when you retweet someone, you agree with everything they've ever said.
And then they start laughing and pushing on him that he's now a demon semen guy.
Pathetic.
You guys suck.
Suck so much shit.
Look, if you want to know how much the left sucks, look at Jerry Nadler.
He personifies our enemies, and they are dying losers with no hips.
I don't know if I could handle seeing him naked.
Oh, hell no.
Anybody want to see that?
So that's a guy telling us that, showing us the press conference about hydroxychloroquine, ancient news, Chinese secret.
He sent three.
Look at this waddle.
Honestly, it's like gay tone.
Who's the gay character in Sopranos again?
That's the same gate.
What's his name?
We interviewed him.
Choke.
It's a joke.
This is from the same guy, by the way.
See, people send me things and then they forget that they didn't include the link and then they can't include the link and then they send you a Google Doc.
I'm not sure you've seen this video or heard about this huge big tech censorship.
Here it is.
I hope you can make light of it on your show.
I first saw this on Facebook through PragerU video.
Yes, and I saw PragerU got banned for showing that press conference.
I posted on my feed on Facebook, took it down within minutes, then tried to look it up via Google and YouTube and could not find it anywhere.
A buddy in a militia group sent it to me via Dropbox, uploaded it on Facebook again, took it down within seconds.
It apparently doesn't follow community guidelines.
These are all doctors saying hydroxychloroquine is good and we have a cure.
No, there can't be a cure because then we can have normal elections in November and then Trump will win.
It has to be a worse pandemic in November so everyone does mail-in.
And I'll keep pushing that lie unless you want to riot or have a giant Black Trans Lives Matter rally.
Then I'll just stop what I'm doing.
And we're not supposed to notice your hypocrisy.
That's what I mean about how shitty they are.
They're Jerry Nadler.
The long and short of it is hydroxychloroquine works better than any SOB globalists want you to know.
I live in Portland and our piece of shit governor banned the use of it over a month ago.
I didn't know that.
It's banned in Oregon?
Wow.
Love your show.
Keep up the good work.
Like you more than a friend.
I assume that's a joke.
But if it is, and Peter is a woman and has a perfect body and likes to wear lingerie and Louis Vuitton heels, send nudes.
Send nudes.
Trying to figure out how to send.
This is too big.
Blah, blah, blah.
This is from Ross.
I found your weird Jesus.
Ross, I want you To know that you suck, and that's ridiculous.
The original Miss Peaches.
This is from Scott.
Oh, I remember this video.
You know what?
I said on the show a long time ago, I don't care if you're socialist, communist, racist.
I just like honest people because they're interesting.
And this is so not trying to be anything but themselves.
Like this woman's a mental patient.
She loves chicken.
And she made this video and she's just being herself.
She's being honest.
It ends up being good music, too.
I got a band.
I got a brand.
It doesn't look very good.
That's just a dead chicken.
And a whole kick in.
Don't want to end, but you're going to be hitting them.
They gon' make a cry cry.
I don't own no block cry.
Gonna make you over.
That's like looks like young Jeezy.
You took away the hair and everything and put her in a suit.
She looks like a handsome man.
All right.
That was hypnotizing.
This is from two people, Dan and Aziza.
Sir Gavin, that's what they're calling me, and I agree.
Duke of Awesomeness, that's still me.
Oh, man.
And then Ryan, the Lord of the Fag Zone.
So I get all the compliments, and Ryan gets fucked over.
It's terrible.
Hi, the unmillennial.
I guess that was the name of their YouTube account.
So I'm sure you've seen this video of the Houston Doctor passionately telling people there's a cure to COVID.
The president retweeted it.
It's being deleted from every platform.
It's too big to send my wife.
This is a different guy than before, by the way.
So I uploaded it to YouTube so I could send it to her.
I woke up this morning.
It was deleted from YouTube.
It had like four views.
They're committed to keeping this scam going.
Also, love the parenting advice from last night's episode.
More like it, please.
As a newly married man, four years with three kids.
Dude, noice.
Noise.
Four years, three kids?
Damn.
Yeah.
Purple heart medal.
The honor of the dad medal of honor.
Putting it around your neck right now.
That's amazing.
So your wife has been pregnant non-stop since you got.
Literally.
I mean, four years with three kids, that means that like she got pregnant on their honeymoon.
It takes nine months to make these fucking things.
She might have gotten pregnant at the delivery room after delivering her baby.
Yeah, he gets really horny when he sees her give birth.
Three kids under three.
Yeah, I know, dude.
As a married man with three kids, we know they're under three.
Unless there's someone else's.
Three and under.
I really enjoy those segments.
Segments to continue to prove, blah, blah.
So we're going to have that on Thursday.
I wanted to take my time with the part two of the parenting.
Let me fuck you with my heels on, yeah.
There's so many little details that you want to include in this.
Like, for example, I was thinking when I was swimming with my kids the other day, once you teach them to swim and they all know how to swim, it's such a fucking relief.
It's like Maddie's probation being over and he can finally go out past curfew.
You're just like, ah.
Because when they're not, like you go camping and your son is that age where he goes, it's a fat.
You wake up and you go, where's Johnny?
Where's Johnny?
What if you wandered off to the river?
Or anyone's at a pool?
You can't talk to anyone.
You're always looking over there.
Oh, yeah, yeah, well, I guess they're going to sell their house.
Constantly nervous.
And they don't like floaties.
They go, I don't like these.
But you'll sink shit for brains.
And then we sent, like the two kids, they learned on vacation in the shallow end because they could always put their feet down.
But my youngest, I sent him this awesome swim camp.
Their insurance must be $9 billion a year.
But at this swim camp, there's like two lifeguards for every kid.
The water is really shallow and they spend all summer teaching them to swim.
Now, at that young of an age, they kind of forget over the winter, but it's in there and it takes a few times and they're back again.
But now if I hear psh or if I want to go to the, I could go pee when my son was at the pool, I make sure lifeguard's there, but I can relax because I know he's not going to drown.
And here's something horrible to say.
You ready?
If your son or daughter drowned, you're a shitty parent.
Sorry.
I was here.
It's a joke.
No, I'm not joking.
You son of a bitch.
Like, why are you showing those?
When your baby's born, that day you go, I got to teach this fucker to swim.
The why of things.
Okay, will you stop just randomly farting out video bleeps drops?
By the way, Trump 2020 and the landslide, the silent majority will strike again like in 2016.
Yeah, I agree with you, dude.
Justin Shea, why Ryan is a fag?
We're not getting a lot of variety here.
COVID is bullshit.
Ryan is a fag.
I agree with both.
G-Dog and Lord of the Fag Zone, whenever you guys rate chicks, Ryan is anywhere but in the moment and locked in on said female, fucking doing his hair or taking way too long to look up the bitch.
But when Nate Ober calls in or his name is mentioned, Captain Homo lights up like a Japanese vending machine.
I like Nate Ober.
Yeah, you sure do.
What?
He's so much better than Ashley St. Clair.
Nobody's comparing Ashley.
Imagine Ashley St. Clair was in short shorts in your bed all night.
I don't think puking is the easiest thing.
Well, now we're cooking.
Hey, I made some breakfast and bacon.
Does he post anymore?
Not from what I saw last.
Let's give it a little look.
Oh, he lives in Texas.
He doesn't like Dallas.
Not Kay Jared.
Oh, okay.
Panic, panic.
Um, I feel like Dallas might suck.
I love the south, but it just seems like it's so hot that it's just strip mall after strip mall after air-conditioned house.
I like wandering.
Um, Ryan, it's 2020.
It's okay to be gay.
There's nothing wrong with that.
And your dad was a hairdresser, much like De Niro's dad was a gay hairdresser.
What?
Send it.
Justin from Shitto, California.
You didn't know Robert Di Niro's dad was the most gigantic homo in the world?
No.
Oh, yeah.
That's who De Niro is.
De Niro's straight, but he's a Manhattan actor, improv, artist.
I'm an artist.
That's gross.
Like, you know, the musical rent?
Of course.
That's De Niro's life.
The 70s and 80s, those guys were actors.
They were working really, you know, like the drama club kids?
His dad was a poet.
In the East Village.
A beatnik.
Hung out at fucking, probably the White House Tavern there with the other beatniks, man.
Artists.
He's not a tough guy.
That's not, that's a character he played.
Same with Tupac.
He's a dancer, dancer.
And he played a tough guy in juice, and people liked him.
He's like, all right, now I'm a thug.
That's thug life, yo.
Nate Ober on the other hand is Nate Ober.
What's that little sliver next to him?
Oh, it's his green screen fucking up in the corner.
Does he make those graphics, I wonder?
Well, what do they say?
No.
You could probably go on YouTube and find a bunch of green screen things.
It's probably like some German techno thing.
He's got his head cocked.
Remember, others are watching the show.
You know, in our new studio, we should just have that as the backdrop when I'm doing the news.
All right.
Fuck that guy who doesn't like the new additions.
Beef Squad is refreshingly offensive and Kangaroo Boy is awesome.
I agree.
I also, I'm not big on firing.
I tell you to get fired.
And I don't mean just fucking punch your boss in the balls.
I mean, don't not be yourself.
Don't constantly live in fear.
Like I was talking to this chick from some other company the other day and I was introduced by this other dude.
I'll tell you about the company some other time.
But I was like, hey, I go, which number is this?
And she goes, oh, he gave you my home number and my cell phone.
Just use the cell phone.
That's a work phone.
I go, I have your home phone number.
And then I started to get worried.
And I thought, oh, shit, what if he gets fired and sued now?
I go, I'd rather just not talk to one in the workforce.
And then I thought, that's not get fired.
But what was I talking about?
I think you should get fired, but don't.
You don't like doing the firing.
Oh, yeah.
And kicking people off this network.
Like, I've seen shows.
Seinfeld sucked for a year.
I'm not saying Beef Scott sucks, but Seinfeld sucked for a year, and then it came into its own.
I don't even consider firing anyone until it's had like a good year to incubate.
Jared Hunter.
Hi, Gavin and His Holiness, the Supreme Pontiff of the Fag Zone.
I swear to God, these people are all different.
I just finished the best tasting beer last night.
Yeah, that's like saying I just ate the best tasting pussy.
The ideal pussy tastes like water.
You don't want it to have gourmand, sauver, as they say in French.
I like bud because I'm about to drink 20 and I don't want flavor getting in the way.
After I installed, after I finished installing Eve's troughing on our house, I was surprised how easy it was.
A couple instructional YouTube videos later and boom, it's done.
Curiously, I phoned a local company to see what it would be to have it custom done and they quoted me $2,400.
With materials I bought at my local hardware store with 700 tops.
Holy fuck, I ranch cattle full-time on the farm.
But if I were to leave and find work elsewhere, this is probably where I would look first.
Thanks for emailing me.
Jared.
Is that the same Jared from up top?
No, it's different, Jared.
Oh, I see what he's saying.
He's saying, when you bust your ass and you have a beer, it's the best tasting beer on earth.
Yes, yes, I agree.
I agree.
In fact, sometimes I'll think, well, I have a window here.
I could go to the pub.
But then I think, I haven't really accomplished anything today.
That's the beauty of boxing.
You always feel like you've accomplished something.
Like I went today and a little bit hungover.
The heat was fucking brutal.
I saw Huey going in as I was coming out and I was going to text him, hey man, how was that?
Pretty brutal, right?
And then I thought, no, that's gay.
Don't you think?
Just out of nowhere, you'd just be like, I should send that to this guy.
He likes shoes too.
And I thought, no, that's helping someone beat it.
That's terrible.
That's gay.
Is it?
Yeah.
Let's go to the gym with my buddy.
Not homosexual, just gay.
Well, a little bit homosexual.
I also feel going on a ride with motorcycles, someone has to be in the front, right?
Or else, you know, someone's going to turn left and then you're, what?
So someone has to be defining the route.
So now you're behind him like his little bitch.
And you're waiting at the stop sign and it's too loud to hear each other.
So it doesn't make sense to pull up next to him, right?
And be like, hey, that was crazy back there.
I think that was a porcupine.
So you just wait behind him and you're just like the homo in Mad Max.
You know what I'm talking about?
No.
Blonde guy, Mad Max, back of motorcycle.
I was talking to a fireman recently.
My bike ran out of gas because I'm an idiot.
And I go to this local firehouse that was like 10 feet away and I go, no, it's the guy on the back of the motorbike.
Yeah, there he is.
Wait, wait, go up.
Fark right here.
Oh, that guy.
That's how I feel if I've never been on the back of a motorcycle, but that's how I would feel.
And I was talking to this fireman.
He goes, yeah, we were driving around in, I forget where he was, some sand dunes thing.
And one of the guys' bike got, he fucked up and he flipped it and it wasn't starting.
We had to leave it there.
And we go, just get on the back of this bike and we'll drive you here.
And he didn't have a license.
So he's going to get arrested if he's seen with it.
And he goes, sorry, I cannot go on the back of a motorcycle.
I can't.
And they go, well, I don't understand.
We're offering you a lift.
And he goes, okay, bye.
They just leave him in the desert to die because he didn't want to be that dude.
What's his name?
Road Warrior.
Back of motorcycle.
Who would have that as wallpaper?
I guess a gay?
I don't see gays liking Road Warrior, though.
I'm not saying Nate Ober is gay, but I think he would like this aesthetic.
Like, that's what he wears, basically.
No, Mad Max is not goth, dumbass.
What's his name?
It's going to be hard.
I have to look up my own shit sometimes.
Road Warrior, and then we go, Sorry, folks, this isn't very good.
Oh, I gotta say.
Vernon Wells.
Yeah, Wes.
Wes, I think, is the guy in the front.
Wes.
Wes.
It was kind of cool of them to put a homo in a movie like that.
I've never really seen that before.
Where all of a sudden this bad guy happens to be a queer.
What does he say?
Oh, I guess he's right-wing, too.
Wow, we're really off at a tangent here.
All right, back to the letters.
Scotty.
I don't know if you should call yourself Scotty if your name's Scott.
We can do Danny.
We can do Johnny.
Well, we love Johnny.
I wanted to name my son Johnny like on his birth certificate, not Jonathan.
We used to, in high school, we used to watch all three of these in a row.
It would take almost all night.
And then we'd wander around the burbs, like at four or five in the morning, with just blankets on.
All mad maxed up.
I remember this.
He pulls the arrow out.
God knows it's a hunk.
Get the gas in.
Get that started up, dude!
Oh, Fury's leaving.
Or is he?
Hmm Nice way Whew!
It's such a good movie.
So that's Road Warrior.
Beyond Thunderdome's pretty good.
The first one is cool to look at because you never thought of post-apocalyptic before.
It's a cool concept, but outside of them killing his wife and kid, there's not really a plot.
All right, sorry.
Hey, Gav, and chairman/slash president.
Oh, sorry.
Not slash, comma.
Hello, Gav.
And chairman, comma, president, comma, and CEO of the fag zone.
You run the show over there.
I piss myself laughing at this one.
At 1354 of How to Raise a Kid Part 1, Gabi fails miserably at a joke about the movie theater, CARES not opening.
I thought that I delivered that quite well.
Unfortunately, the theater to see the movie Care is also shut down.
Nailed it.
Okay.
It wasn't a bomb that actually put me into...
No hope of rocking.
Seats are covered in cobwebs.
No opening.
Was I drunk?
Does that make sense?
Then the VP of operations at Fag Zone, LLC, chimes in with a joke that Gavin doesn't approve.
Yes.
Camera cuts to 1356 of the silence and rise face.
Gavin's reaction to that was priceless.
I never laughed so hard.
Thanks, boys.
Keep sending it.
He's working in clinical psychology.
I'm not sure if I believe that as a valid science.
Just gonna send it.
What's your reaction?
Let's replay that.
I'm always interested in improving the show.
I can't wait.
We're gonna have conversations.
It's a local movie theater.
They're watching game TV.
Unfortunately, the theater doesn't make care is also shut down.
Excuse me being sad.
Okay.
And it has no hope of reopening.
The seats are covered in cobwebs.
No opening.
That doesn't make sense.
You can't just put words together.
No opening.
I remember that.
Anyway, let's start the show.
So we will have the mail back.
So he looks a little bit someone like that segment.
I think we should make that thing where I pushed your face into my sunburn into like a gif or something.
That could be good.
Also, you.
You know how to make gifs?
Yeah, I can make a gif.
Also, you just talking about how I have 347 teeth was, that made me the LOL really hard.
That's a good clip.
Hey, Gab, I'm a Canadian man in my early 20s who believes in classical conservative values, pro-life, to genders, family over career, and fear by the time I'm ready to settle down with a woman, they'll all be brainwashed.
Brainwashed is one word, guys.
By the left-wing dogma being taught in universities.
Any advice on how to approach future relationships in America's hat?
We get this question a lot, and I always say the same thing.
All women, young women today, are fucking brainwashed, especially in Canada, especially in Toronto.
So, if I were you, I would tread lightly, right?
Fuck Trump, yeah, yeah.
I'm not very political.
And wait until she says, I love you, and then you bend her over and you fuck her.
But once you get into the zone, then you can start slowly red pilling her and being like, oh, I don't know.
I actually looked that up and turns out there was nine unarmed black men shot by cops last year.
Oh, I saw Black Lives Matter is big in England, but There's been barely one unarmed black man killed a year in the past 10 years.
I mean, hundreds of black people in Britain have died from falling down the stairs.
One a year?
I don't know.
I'm sure that's up there with spider bites and like pianos.
And then she goes, I think it's more than that.
And you go, oh, okay.
And then you give her some time.
That's what Trump does.
He knows something for a fact.
Like this shirt has whales on it.
And he goes, I don't know.
A lot of these shirts, blue, they have little things on it.
Could be a whale.
It could be anything.
And then people go, what a fucking idiot.
And then it turns out they are whales.
And he goes, oh.
So he lures you in.
That's what you got to do with the ladies.
Lure them in.
I'm telling you that the way Trump gets in our pants is the way you get in her pants.
But don't come out of the gate swinging.
I can afford to.
I got a wife and kids.
I'm doing okay for money.
So when I meet new people, I go, they go, fucking Trump.
And I go, you're talking to the biggest Trump supporter possibly in the world.
I got him elected.
And then that's out of the way now.
But getting laid is more important than that.
So it's like getting a squirrel to eat out of your hand.
Oh, he's going away.
Oh, he's gone.
You have hurt me today.
Who is going to clean your toilets, Mr. Trump?
No, oh no.
In that, I mean...
No, no, that's...
I'm Puerto Rican.
Yeah, right.
Good point.
Some fucking Puerto Rican at the pool screamed so loud that I went like that.
Like, Judge!
I won't do it in here.
Or the neighbors will knock on the door and get us evicted.
But I said, and then I was reminded of, you know the chick from SWAT, the Puerto Rican, who's always like this?
Michelle Rodriguez.
Michelle Rodriguez.
And someone asked her, why are Puerto Ricans so fucking loud?
And the answer is, because they live on Project Housing with 10 people in one apartment, and they're constantly yelling over each other because they're cramped up and they become annoying.
And she said, they are screaming to be heard in a world that's just not listening.
Oh, that's why Puerto Ricans yell.
I think your theory sucks.
Is she gay?
She's so intense.
Oh, it says she's gone both ways.
I mean, all girls have.
She's gay.
Way to show your fucking desktop and one can see your Japani Maporn.
There's not one picture of her where she's not going, I'm tough.
I'm a psycho.
Yeah, I'm really scared of Michelle Rodriguez because she was in Fast and Furious.
Oh, there's some smiles.
Yeah, that's atypical, though.
I guess I'm thinking of the movies.
This is the new her now.
She's like, oh, I'm kind of haggard.
I've been ridden hard and put away wet.
She could play AOC, smiles.
I guess I'm thinking of the movies, like in SWAT and in Fast and Furious.
Every scene, she's just like, what the fuck?
She's always doing like the look down like this, like the eyes up, head down.
I'm a badass.
Hey, guys, this is a video from 2019, so I'm sure you've seen it, but I just fell on my lap yesterday.
Had me rolling this Ryan Long guy on YouTube.
Oh my God.
Dude.
Ancient Chinese?
oh, wait, no, this is...
It's not new.
2019, but at least I hadn't seen it like last week.
Yeah, the mayor chick or whatever.
She has like titties, two of them.
And then the other one also has a couple.
Go with the white chick.
Do you go with the white titties?
Why is it that you take the white gazumbas over the black titties?
Her ideology is not breastlight at all.
I actually thought I entered a time warp and went back 100 years because I could not believe somebody was asking this question.
What question?
Yeah, you said, who's got the biggest, the nicer titties?
Elizabeth Warren or Kamala Harris.
So continue on.
What did you think on the answer to that?
Look, look, look.
Just pause.
She thinks.
She thinks this is a gotcha moment.
She thinks he was like, she's so fucking base.
This is so juvenile and simplistic that the fact that Ryan's fucking with that dude is way over her head.
And she honestly thinks there's this Archie Bunker world where guys go, hey, so we're asking questions here.
Like out of all the tits that they have, it's like running for president or whatever, whose tits do you like better?
And then the other guy who actually appears to be that stupid is like, I like Elizabeth Warren's tits because they're like little.
I'm not a huge tit guy.
And usually small tits means a great ass.
Oh shit, we got caught.
Like she's got this smug sort of gotcha.
Nice try.
They're actually glad.
I've noticed this boomer feminist too.
I don't want to call them Karens because it's racial, but they have this whole like indignation.
I remember I met one of my dad's friends, new girlfriends.
So she'd be, you know, 55, 60.
And I go, yeah, well, you know, when the girls showed up later and we had already been there, and she's like, the girls, we're women.
She's like, God damn it.
What are you in fucking fifth grade?
So they got us.
This is like, remember that woman?
Was I with you at Grand Central?
Where she started bawling me out?
Yeah.
Remember that story, folks, at home?
We were joking about a closeted gay.
He was like, I don't even want to fuck that dude.
He's such a loser.
Like, he's not even hot.
No, I think it was insulting people with gay things.
Like, not necessarily you're gay, but you're like, dude, that fucking guy with the beautiful hair.
Oh, yeah.
You know, that dude with a mile-high cheekbones, total dick.
He's got, like, swimming pool eyes.
You're like, you can dive in there and swim around.
Beast-stung lips.
Fucking dick weed loser with the really strong thighs.
You know what I'm talking about?
And then you took it too far and you said, yeah, I don't even want his cum on me.
And that woman overheard that and she goes, You're, it was exactly like her.
Exactly.
I like my term boomer, ball, sorry, boomer, angry woman liberals.
That's not racial.
And she went and scolded us and said, That language is deplorable.
And you are everything wrong with this country.
And we call, I called her a cunt and I just fucking, because she thought it was a gotcha moment.
I was going to go, oh my God, you heard that?
I'm so sorry that my discourse was not more civilized.
They were praying for it at my church once.
We pray hand in hand that the refugees will find a home.
Ah, no.
And we also pray that the political discourse will be elevated.
This is back when Trump was winning.
And I go, ah, no.
Fingers crossed for these prayers.
But go back.
I love this shit.
I haven't seen this before.
Pair?
Yeah.
Discourse.
But I'm not going to speak, so you're going to have a very boring.
It kind of feels like you are speaking.
Okay, but I'm not anymore.
Bye.
I know that mental illness can come in pairs.
A titties or a pair.
I don't know.
What were you saying about a pair?
Yeah, like that.
You guys are paired together in this absurd.
Continue on asking the questions that you're talking about.
What are you guys doing your interview about?
Yeah, we're doing our interview about Modi and the war in Kashmir and the end of the world, the climate crisis, but you're concerned about titties.
So go.
And you're concerned about them being concerned about titties.
The war in Kashmir.
What is the war in Kashmir, you stupid cunt?
That is Pakistan encroaching on India after they gave them a Muslim country here.
It's Pakistan.
Pakistan goes, no, I want more of that.
And starts going south, murdering Indians.
You know the bitch who put signs on my lawn, Farah Kathwari?
Her brother died in Kashmir.
He's there.
I don't know what kind of Arab Indian Pakis they are.
Pakistanis, sorry, whoops.
But he left Harvard medical school.
They're all upper class.
He left Harvard medical school because Allah called him to Kashmir, where he shot and killed Indian soldiers until he got his head blown off.
And she's putting signs on my lawn saying, hey, there's no home here.
How about jihad has no home in your family?
How about you try that, you stupid bitch?
So they have these silly little pet causes.
Like, can you imagine of all the things, a Pakistani border war that is totally unjustified?
You've got a free country, Islam.
And you're like, yeah, I want to go that way.
And they have these rich white housewives obsessed with it.
I wonder if Farah is linked to that.
Because they're in New York.
Or did they just choose that?
Remember Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, they chose the dog eating festival that's in some place in China.
And you're watching it going, you know that they eat dogs all over Asia, like Korea, everywhere.
Yeah.
You chose one festival?
The dog eating festival is actually Chinese for Wednesday.
I don't know if you knew that.
Ever heard of Taiwan?
I mean, I can't help you, lady.
Go on and answer, you know.
Okay, do you prefer latittia or right teddy?
Don't answer.
I'm an anti-porn activist, as a matter of fact, but you're not going to get an interview from me about the subject.
Nothing to do with porn.
Right.
I'm anti-porn too.
But I'm very interested in tit discussions.
Tit cussions.
What's your favorite anti-porn?
Is it people's ants?
One last question.
If a woman is president, the days that they're on their periods, would a vice president have to step up?
Your mother would be very ashamed that you're doing this kind of work.
I bet his mom's funny.
Who do you work for?
Vice.com.
Are you familiar with Vice.com?
We are familiar with Vice.
This is something that Vice is doing.
Shame on you.
Not the Vice Peace, yeah.
I'm like shocked.
You can see I'm speechless here because they do some pretty good political stuff.
It can't be Vice.
Not your precious Vice.
Did he really work for Vice?
That's bad news.
I don't think so.
He made that.
He made some Vice videos or like Vice parody videos.
Like, I work for Vice, Bola.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, he was fired from Vice magazine?
Oh.
This is getting juicy.
That's weird.
That guy worked for the company you started.
I think this is a joke, though.
He's hilarious.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, it's a joke.
Okay.
Monday morning, I woke up to the news.
Oh, I remember this video.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, we watched it.
Yes, this was like the first one, I think.
We got hip here.
No, no, no, no, don't hang up, don't hang up.
I have another one, too.
The trading floor needs to accept that pedophilia is not a choice.
You know, we had 2,000 people writing articles like this, and now it's down to 1,750 tops.
Yes, Ryan Long is good.
I bet, but the second he appears on this show, even though we're basically the same dude, his career would be over, and so would his mother's career, and so would his friend's neighbor and the milkman.
Is the store available?
Keep saying it isn't.
He talked to Roger Stone.
What?
Sorry to cut you off.
He talked to Roger Stone.
Ryan Long did?
Yeah.
He does like a podcast, I guess.
Whoa.
Intriguing.
Being deplatformed.
Hey, Ryan, have me on and you can really get into what it's like to be deplatformed because you will be the next day.
You want the boss level?
I saw a good cartoon from that dude, Stonewall.
Is that his name?
And it had a cancel culture, and it had a guy crawling over a fence, and they're all grabbing at his feet.
And then after he gets over the fence, someone's handing him a crown and it says king culture.
Nice.
No, what's his name again?
Stonewall.
Nothing came up with Stonewall.
Sorry, folks, this is not good.
Stone.
Stone toss?
Maybe it's stone toss?
Stone toss?
Stone toss of political cards.
Yeah.
Go down a bit.
These are all high quality.
Maybe I'm...
I can search for it while you read on if you'd like.
Yeah, we're going way back.
Thank you.
No, it was more recent than that.
Anyway, sorry.
That was bad TV.
Sean, response to capitulation versus strength.
By the way, just a little side note here.
On social media, if you are there anonymously, that's fine.
I get it.
You don't have the balls to get fired.
Hey, my balls have a ceiling too.
People say to me, if you're so patriotic, you love this country so much, why don't you go fight for it in Afghanistan?
Because I'm not brave enough.
That's why.
Wait, what day is it today?
Yeah.
You're not brave enough to risk getting fired.
No one's going to.
I don't have a problem with that.
You could be gay, suck a million dicks.
I don't care.
But you're not allowed to go on social media and then call other people pussies, especially when that person's real name is up.
So if you have a picture and your name is Stone King, I just made that up, and you think you can call someone who has their real face and their real name a pussy or they're cucking for shekels or some fucking other thing, you look so fucking ridiculous.
You know what you remind me of?
When I was about nine, we had a tree in our yard at 38 Stinson Avenue in Nepean, Ontario.
And I would climb this big tree and I'd be in the tree and people would be walking by and I was really high up, like three floors of a building.
And I would go, hey, asshole.
And inevitably they would go.
And I think Canada is fundamentally Scottish, so they don't let it go.
It's like, who's there?
And then he'd eventually give up and walk away.
And there'd be some other, some woman like pushing her cart, her stroller.
And I'd go, you're a bitch.
It would really last.
And I was up so far, I was totally opaque.
Like, if you looked up, there's no way in hell you'd see me.
There was layers and layers of leaves and branches below me.
Nice unicycle, shithead.
And then he's like.
Unicycling around.
Who the fuck's on that?
Sean, response to capitulation versus strength.
On the show, you have been increasingly mentioning the response to capitulation from self-proclaimed victim groups.
Perfect example is CNN, who does nothing but kiss Antifa ass and deny the riots exist.
What happens when the riots get to the CNN building in Atlanta?
Totaled.
What happens to the mayor of Seattle and the mayor of Portland when they go, we're actually Antifa too.
And they go, are you going to defund the police and help us burn the city to the ground?
No, I think I'd get in trouble for that.
Get the fuck out of here.
You're dead.
You're dead to us.
And you're actually, we're going to kill you.
BLM, Palestinians, et cetera.
And how these groups only respond positively to strength and grow stronger through capitulation.
Here's a video I thought you might find interesting.
I under if you do not broadcast it on the show due to who is providing the content.
It also provides some great insight into a lot of Western nations' fumbling failures regarding foreign policy.
Yours queerly, Sean.
And this is from a close French nationalist group.
Wait a minute.
Is this like that super white power guy who killed people?
Isn't this the guy who ate his rival's brains?
What?
Yeah, the Norwegian death metal guy.
Yeah.
He fatally stabbed mayhem guitarist Euronymous during an altercation at the latter's apartment and was arrested shortly after.
He's convicted of first-degree murder, church arson, and possession of explosives.
He was sentenced to 21 years in prison.
He said it was self-defense.
During his incarceration, he launched the Norwegian Heathen Front.
He's endorsed neo-Nazi views.
But didn't he eat someone's brains?
Do you know about this?
You don't know about anything.
Why am I asking that?
Death metal skull necklace.
Northern Death Metal ate his brains, I'll say.
They're so intense up there about the purity of death metal that they killed a guy for wearing a white sweater.
Mayhem band.
They're from Oslo, Norway.
Early years.
I mean, just like a brains.
His name is Vikram.
Here we go.
Euronymist used dead suicide to foster Mayhem's evil image.
That's the guy that was killed by the dude we just saw.
So the guitarist, your, youronimus was murdered by the guy we're about to watch, but youronimus, the victim, uh, uses dead.
And Dead had killed himself because black metal had become trendy and commercialized.
In time, rumors spread that Euronis had made a stew with bits of Dead's brain and had made necklaces with bits of his skull.
The band later denied the rumor, but confirmed denied the former was true, but confirmed the latter was true.
So Euronymus, that guy, made a necklace using fragments of Dead skull.
Dead's skull.
Now, Dead is another guy in the band.
I don't know what he did.
He was a singer.
So the singer killed himself because Norwegian death metal was becoming too commercial.
Euronymus, the guitarist, used parts of his skull.
I don't know how he got access to his skull.
Oh, he probably blew his brains out and there were skull fragments.
So he took that, made a necklace out of it.
Later, the guy we're about to watch killed the necklace-owning guitarist.
Normal stuff.
Moreover, Euronymus claimed to have given these necklaces to musicians he deemed worthy, which was confirmed by several members of the scene, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
All right, so let's hear this guy.
I guess he's out of jail now.
Today that a Corsican nationalist group has said in public that if in response to these terror attacks on the continent, they said that if one of these Muslim groups should by any chance attack one from their people, these Corsicans, this nationalist group, is going to Respond with force with weapons.
And this reminds me of something.
Do you remember about this guy?
He was so pure and racist that he didn't like guitars because blacks play guitars.
So they would only use keyboards.
So it's hard to do metal without guitars.
So he was playing like classical Norwegian music on like an umfenschlappen in order to remain truly white.
First of all, it reminds me of the prison.
Because when I was in prison and we had Muslims in our block, if you treated them well, they would treat you like shit.
So after a while, all the Norwegians understood that the only way to be treated well by these guys was to treat them like shit.
You had to never, ever let them come ahead of you in line.
You had to push them, physically just push them out of the way if you walked past them.
And you had to behave like a complete asshole because that was the only thing they respected.
They respected force or the threat of force.
I think he's right.
Nothing else.
If you were kind to them, they would be scared he's going to start saying rage.
Yeah, it might be a Muslim thing.
Because Palestine, when Israel gives up some territory, they see it as a victory and attack more.
They don't say thanks.
They're not interested in a deal.
And I honestly believe they respect that wall.
The wall that Israel recently built to protect Israel No, to protect Israel, sorry.
But is it in Tel Aviv?
I don't remember.
Bethlehem, around that scene.
That wall is very effective, and it's a giant fuck you to the Palestinians.
And I think they go, cool.
Wow, you really got some balls.
You know, the guide in Israel explained it to me thusly, and I'm not saying this is right or wrong, but it sounds pretty good.
He said, the thing about us Jews is we breed with intellect.
So traditionally, you want to get the most educated rabbi who understands the Torah the best and hook him up with the most successful businessman's daughter because they tend to be the hottest, I guess?
I don't know.
And so you end up with these kids that are more and more and more intellectual, whereas strength and ferocity and brutishness is not really in the DNA.
It sort of gets spread out.
Conversely, the Arab...
That wall.
Only 5% of it is that big cement you see Banksy bitching, but most of it is just a smart fence with sensors that tell you when someone's trying to get over.
Anyway, which is what we should have.
But, oh, Gavin, you fucking dumbass.
You distracted me with the wall.
What was I talking about?
You don't know.
You weren't listening.
Palestine.
You weren't listening.
When you went over there, you were talking to the guy.
Oh, yeah.
And he said, we breed out our brutishness.
He said, conversely, Arabs, intellectuals, you can read the Quran.
I don't really give a shit.
But the strongest and the toughest and the most brutish tends to have the most status, at least in Palestinian Arab culture.
So you end up with tougher and tougher and tougher and less and less and less intelligent people.
So you have this brute and this soft intellectual going head to head.
What's the best tool here?
If you're the, which is one is the brute?
If you're the brute, what's the best tool this brute can use against this intellectual?
Terrorism.
It's perfect.
You just go and throw some rocks as they are wont to do.
And the intellectual doesn't go, ow, the intellectual goes, wow, what are they doing?
Why do they do this?
We need to think about it.
Maybe have a treaty and discuss.
Maybe that was another attack.
And they just get caught up in it.
And all the brute has to do is go, rh.
And the intellectuals go, what?
With the ruh?
What do you think that means?
Like that national review dinner I went to when I said, why are we talking about ISIS like they have some sort of grand scheme?
They're inbred animals.
What are you going to do?
All right, I think we're out of time.
How are we doing for time?
We're doing bad.
We're at 110 about.
All right, let's do one more.
Although it's going to be hard to tap that.
This sounds racist, unfortunately.
It's from Terry, and it says, We was Kangs.
And that is an insulting colloquialism used to mock black Americans who believe that Egypt's monarchy is proof that they used to have a lot going on.
Unfortunately, Egypt's monarchy was pretty white-looking people.
So they were not black.
As a South African, I wish I could say this was retarded shit is surprising, but then again, this is what you get dealing with a culture 2,000 years behind the evolutionary chain.
Wait, that was Australian.
Cheers, G-Dog and Rice Guy, and it has BBC News Africa.
Killing of five bald men in Mozambique is linked to a new superstitious belief that bald men have gold in their head.
Invested rogue in Africa.
Fuck, do not be bald in Africa.
All right, that's when the hair goes away, then the gold comes?
Remember when I've talked about this before, but on the Daily Show when they got Trevor Noah?
And he's going to make it international in South Africa.
And I'm not just going to make fun of Trump in America.
I'm going to make fun of my leaders in Mozambique.
And so he started joking about how, oh, so they killed another albino because his blood is magic.
And then Americans went, ugh, I don't like this.
I didn't know they were that retarded.
Oh, yeah.
They also fuck babies to prevent AIDS because they believe that AIDS is cured by fucking a virgin.
And you're really only sure that it's a virgin when it's a baby.
So in South Africa, baby raping, raping, baby fucking is kind of given it's a rape, a major thing.
they murder albinos and they think there's gold in bald men's heads.
And I bet a higher up at Comedy Central went, Yeah, let's leave Africa out of the jokes.
Busting their balls is a little too fish in a barrel.
What a mess.
No, I'm an egalitarian.
We bust balls equally on this show.
If you're stupid enough to think that bald men have gold in their head, then we're going to make fun of you.
And we don't care what the ramifications are.
There is no truth knowing that I fear or would wish unknown to the world.