Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E183 - THE WAR ON HISTORY [2020-07-07 - S02E183 - THE WAR ON HISTORY]

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July 7, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

01:37:35

S02E183 - THE WAR ON HISTORY [2020-07-07 - S02E183 - THE WAR ON HISTORY]

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	What were they saying, Ryan?
	Believe it or not, I don't know any Japanese.
	You don't even know any Japanese dad.
	Yeah, no, it was.
	Very good.
	You're half Japanese, but you don't know any Japanese because that Japanese got the fuck out of Dodge.
	That sounded like Quentin Taratino.
	Well, when he was being a black brother.
	Yeah.
	You know, I like my fans, but my critics ain't my fans, so I don't give a damn.
	I got on a caputer.
	Remember what he called it?
	A baputer?
	A zap rooter.
	I got on a zap rooter.
	Tapping away my taloo.
	He was like, he was a weird red fox from the 30s or something.
	That's the other problem.
	When you're being black, you got to get the right time.
	You can't be like, look at these fine foxy mamas.
	All right, brother.
	You're a quarter century off there, guy.
	That was Kanayori Masaru.
	Band from Japan.
	Keep up with youth, they're called.
	Girl band.
	There's pretty much nothing known about them because Japanese people are unilingual.
	Did you know that?
	They really don't speak other languages over there, huh?
	No.
	When you walk around Japan, you're like, hi, I'm in the Shibuya district, the most touristy place in all of Japan.
	Can I ask you something?
	You get in a taxi, no one knows what the fuck you're saying.
	And I'm not learning that crazy language with its little drawings for every word.
	That's terrible.
	You need to have some nips in your pocket.
	I heard they're very ethnocentric.
	Right?
	No, they're getting politically correct.
	They had a Black Lives Matter thing.
	What?
	The weird Zeus behind why Japanese people can't speak English.
	Maybe it was Hiroshima and Nagasaki put them in a bad mood.
	Yeah, they got a grudge.
	The grudge.
	One time I was at a bar in New York, Max Fish, and there was a Japanese guy there.
	And I was like, yeah, very funny.
	Very funny.
	And he's like, oh, you seem angry.
	I am pissed off.
	I'm pissed off about Pearl Harbor.
	And he was a guy that was with our group, right?
	It was obviously a joke.
	But he didn't get the joke.
	And he goes, oh.
	Because I guess in Japan, they're big on like, oh, that was, you're very angry.
	That big deal to you.
	Meanwhile, in Scotland, it's like, you'd diarrhea my mother's face.
	And I'd go, dude.
	Actually, no, I'd stab you.
	But he goes, okay, but understand, has there ever been anyone so brave as to attack America like that?
	This was before 9-11, by the way.
	And I was like, yeah, okay, it was brave.
	I'm not mad about it, by the way.
	I wouldn't be mad at you for something that happened half a century ago.
	We've got a fun show for you today.
	Is it raining outside?
	Did you see that storm last night?
	I loved it.
	I went out in it and waved a, I did a Florida band.
	Really?
	With my USA shorts and my flag.
	You should have videoed that.
	I did.
	Well, I had my wife video it.
	And women are fucking useless.
	Was it just a picture?
	So the camera focused on the beads of water on the window.
	So I'm a total blur.
	Damn it.
	And then I'm putting the flag back, and she's like, you think I can hear you in a fucking storm, lady, through a window?
	But I guess she was saying, you have to do it again.
	I should have been closer.
	I had so many failures last night.
	would not have believed it.
	Just gonna send it!
	Called the auto place.
	The mechanic's not here.
	We don't know what's going on with your car.
	Went to the hardware store to get a new door thing.
	My lock's broken.
	Got the wrong kind.
	Came home, put in the battery for the smoke detector.
	I had this new one and the old one in my hand.
	I forgot which one was which.
	I don't know.
	And it's hard.
	The smoke detector, it's hard.
	That little test button doesn't seem to work.
	Finally figured that out.
	My son goes, I want to play Xbox in the basement.
	This fucking Xbox.
	Mike!
	I want to go Dylann Roof on whoever fucking...
	That's very nice.
	Okay, put it in.
	Oh, our sort of home entertainment system in the basement means that the little look cord, the thing that looks at you, it's like 15 feet away.
	There's not enough cord.
	Oh, okay.
	I'll just buy an extension.
	How much is that?
	Oh, it's $250.
	About the same price as the fucking console.
	And the looky thing that sees you playing the games?
	The Kinect.
	The Kinect?
	I had to buy that.
	Yeah.
	Okay, I'll buy that.
	Now I'm like $500 down.
	Now you need an adapter because it's a new Kinect thing.
	No, but it's a new console, so the new Kinect works with it.
	Okay, because I thought you were looking for an adapter at one point.
	Yeah.
	All the games on our old Xbox are garbage.
	Yep.
	I have to get a Microsoft account where I log in.
	I don't use Microsoft.
	So I have to log in.
	Remember this big password?
	It's always wrong.
	No, that's not your password.
	My other son was on it and it's lost and not working.
	Go reset your password.
	This is all taking like an hour.
	I am done.
	You go.
	I'm done.
	That's how I felt last night.
	I'm finally getting Set up.
	Get a new password, finally get my little boy.
	And I've never, I don't care if my son plays games with guns and stuff, but my seven-year-old, he's still a sweet little angel who gets scared of like, I can't show him the movie Gremlins.
	So I want to make sure he's not shooting.
	Like, I see the big axe thing, and I go, that's okay.
	So I sit with him while he plays.
	And there's a shark and some cool stuff, and he's building an umbrella.
	Okay, this is fine.
	Nothing wrong with that.
	Nothing wrong with that yet.
	And then some woman jumps out from behind a thing and with what looks exactly like an AR-15, he blows a hole through her chest.
	And I go, all right, well, that's the end of that.
	We will not be playing this game for maybe another four years.
	Eight, nine, ten, eleven.
	Yeah.
	Fuck.
	Fucking.
	All right, I want to go on an education kick because I've worked very hard to create some very informative charts that track our history.
	But before I show you that, I want you to know why I felt compelled to do that.
	And it's basically rampant ignorance to the point of brutally embarrassing.
	Let's start with the students don't know shit about history.
	One four.
	This compelled me to make these charts.
	So scroll down to the video.
	Yeah, there you go.
	Skip the intro.
	I hate intros.
	I don't care.
	I know.
	I can read the title.
	Let's find out.
	All right, so the 4th of July is Just pause.
	I fucking hate when I see a movie and it's like, uh, Warner Brothers, Pascal, Timber Bros.
	Let's just get into it.
	Like when the comedy specials have a big sketch before Kevin Hart did a whole James Bond movie before his thing.
	Just come out onto the stage.
	Hi, everyone.
	Thanks for coming.
	Did you ever notice how that's how Louis C.K. does it?
	All right, so let's just start.
	You know, there are a lot of protests that have been going on around the country.
	What do you think the legacy of our country is?
	Do you guys think we're a racist country?
	There is a little bit of racism, but I feel like it's more like with the police.
	You feel me?
	America was built off of slavery and all of that.
	Our country most definitely has a bad legacy.
	I think it's pretty obvious with the president that we have right now.
	I have to agree, but I mean, obviously there's people in America that aren't racist, but there is racism in this country.
	White people take it for granted.
	They think they're entitled.
	You have to understand that teens are children.
	Like that lifeguard who came and did the funny dance at me because I'm a white supremacist.
	A 16-year-old is an 11-year-old.
	There's no real difference there.
	The fact that they fuck is disturbing.
	Where's their accent from?
	I think it's Southern California, so it's got a bit of Latino in it, if you feel me.
	Everybody sounds like this is their second language.
	Yeah, well, the Mexicans end up taking over the accent for the whole, even the white people.
	Jeez.
	But they're not.
	Like, Black Lives Matter, all lives matter, but they take it to an extreme that they're like the supreme matter.
	Eric Andrew's getting buffed back there in the blue hat.
	Supreme race.
	I mean, yeah.
	You just missed a great point.
	But they take it to an extreme that they're like the supreme race.
	We do?
	So Black Lives Matter, like all lives matter, but the white people take it to an extreme where they're like the supreme race.
	What?
	What?
	I mean, yeah.
	Racism has been a lot.
	I mean, racism has been a long, has been around for quite a while.
	Black people like basically make this country.
	They like were slaves for a long time.
	So with the 4th of July coming up, we're going to ask a couple questions.
	My first question for you guys is, what does the 4th of July commemorate?
	Day we declared independence from Great Britain.
	Basically America's birthday, right?
	I think independence.
	What year did we declare our independence?
	I'm going to be real with you.
	I don't know.
	19.
	Thanks for being real.
	19.
	67, I'll say.
	Close, a little off.
	I don't know.
	1859?
	1964.
	60.
	You mean Jamaica was 69?
	Is that what you're doing?
	I'm going to give it a try?
	Give you a try.
	What do you think?
	What year did we get our independence?
	1970 something, 74, something like that.
	1879?
	Like the 1800s.
	1864?
	18?
	Yes.
	18.
	It's farther back?
	It's further back.
	It's further back than the 1850s?
	Before Serpico?
	What?
	Oh, so we were British, I guess, until 1979?
	Wouldn't we all have British accents?
	Oh, shit.
	Hey, 1777?
	Wait, what's going on in the background there?
	There's a guy dancing.
	What's he doing?
	Is he just dancing alone?
	Yeah.
	Hey, 1777?
	What?
	76, 76.
	So we're actually very close.
	76, 76.
	So we're actually very two interesting people to talk to.
	We're teachers.
	pause, were very...
	We're obviously very two people to talk to.
	76, 76.
	So we're actually very two interesting people to talk to.
	We're teachers.
	We're actually very two interesting people to talk to.
	They're teachers.
	This is the focus.
	We need to recalibrate ourselves.
	College is gone.
	Cut it loose, push it out to sea.
	Forget college.
	It's unsalvageable.
	It's gone.
	K through 12 is where the damage is done.
	All of this Black Lives Matter shit comes from K through 12 brainwashing, and you're looking at the teachers responsible right now.
	These women are why, these two women are why America is burning right now.
	76, 76.
	So we're actually very two interesting people to talk to.
	We're teachers.
	So I was a seventh grade civics teacher, government teacher, and she is an elementary school teacher, fourth grade, second grade, elementary school teacher.
	What year did we get our independence?
	17 something.
	Who did we get our independence?
	Good work, teachers.
	Now, what are you conveying?
	Hi, class.
	Today we're going to talk about American independence, which was achieved on 17-something.
	So that means it was in the 18th century.
	It was sometime in the 1700s.
	When?
	I do not know.
	You can look that up on your phones while I go get a coffee.
	Goodbye.
	Independence from.
	What country?
	I don't know.
	I don't know this question.
	The United States?
	Do you guys know who we got our independence from?
	I love that one.
	We gained our independence from the United States and became America.
	Independence from?
	What country?
	I don't know.
	I don't know this question.
	The United States?
	Do you guys know who we got our independence from?
	Shirts?
	I don't know.
	America?
	Oh, Britain.
	Great Britain or something like that.
	England?
	What was the name of the war that we were fighting at the time?
	The Civil War?
	The French Revolution, right?
	The Civil War?
	The Industrial Revolution, right?
	The Industrial Revolution, where the machines rose up and stole the jobs of the men.
	It was like the Terminator.
	They fought us with smoke and steel.
	The Civil War?
	The French Revolution, right?
	The Civil War?
	The Industrial Revolution, right?
	I think it's the Civil War.
	I actually don't remember.
	I know what it is.
	I really just don't remember.
	Try again.
	World War II?
	World War I. Yeah, I will also say the Civil War.
	It did not start in 1700, right?
	World War II.
	World War II was in 1900, dog.
	Odo, the Brit and the Brown War, yeah, that.
	Further back.
	World War I?
	A little further back than that.
	They can't even say World War I?
	World War I?
	World War.
	Shining Live?
	Britain space?
	Brown War, yeah, that.
	Further back.
	World War I. World War I?
	World War I?
	Little Folson one?
	Odo, the Brit and the Brown War, yeah, that.
	The button, the Britain War.
	This is how dinosaurs spoke.
	The button, war.
	He talks like Scooby-Doo.
	He talks like a cartoon dog.
	The war, what the war?
	17, 17, world war, world, war, whoa, scoop.
	What year did we get her independent scoop?
	Further back.
	A little further back than that.
	The revolution.
	The American Revolution.
	You guys got a lot of them right.
	A lot of people didn't get them right today.
	Do you guys feel like you were taught enough about this in school?
	Do you guys feel like you were taught about this in a classroom?
	No.
	They need better teachers.
	The films are a fucking appendage now.
	I feel like because since people think it's history, it doesn't apply to them now, but.
	They need better teachers.
	I feel like because since people think it's history, it doesn't apply to them now, but like history tends to repeat itself.
	So it's definitely important that you do learn where you come from and to avoid certain things like that now.
	Everybody should learn about our history.
	It's our right to know what happened for our country and why we live the way we do and all of that stuff.
	It's something that...
	It is your right.
	But why aren't you doing parking?
	You don't have access to Google on your fucking phone that's part of your hand?
	It's in our history books.
	It's like your left hand.
	You just flip through, you feel me?
	Like, the teachers don't take time to really teach it.
	Assuming you're of age.
	Quizzes.
	Yeah, exactly.
	I just know that teachers do not want to teach it.
	People are very ignorant.
	They think that they know everything.
	Society really doesn't care about a lot of things unless it's right in front of their face.
	You get me?
	So I personally know firsthand that we are not getting taught, specifically in social studies, the history that we need to know.
	I actually don't teach what's in our curriculum.
	I'm teaching children social studies.
	This is the point of the video.
	Everything is on this.
	This is the focus on our show today.
	I don't teach what's on the curriculum.
	Now, the curriculum is already fucked.
	The curriculum is already littered with PC.
	It's all about, I see my daughter's schoolwork.
	It's all about how racist we are.
	We stole the land from the Indians.
	The country's built on slavery.
	White people are evil.
	They think they're so great.
	They think they're the supreme race.
	But she thinks that curriculum is too right-wing.
	She's got her own plan.
	Let's hear what she teaches.
	I actually don't teach what's in our curriculum.
	I'm teaching children social studies that's not in our curriculum.
	I'm teaching them things about how to be an anti-racist.
	Instead of teaching those same three famous black people that we continue to teach, I taught them about protesting.
	I taught them about Black Lives Matter.
	I taught them about things that are happening currently so that they could make those connections.
	And when they see it on the news, they're informed.
	They're not ignoring the facts of our world right now.
	There are facts that we're actually a racist country.
	We're not a racist country.
	No, we're not.
	We're not a racist Captain Crunchry right now.
	There are facts that we're actually a racist country.
	That means they're four, and four-year-olds don't watch the fucking news, you fat slag.
	Speaking of useless cunts, I sent you this.
	It's not in the notes.
	I sent it to you after.
	This has gone viral.
	I've watched the entire thing, which goes on and on and on and on.
	But just to tell you, the TLDR, the Zoom video starts out.
	We don't have this.
	And he's got a black baby on his knee that he's bouncing like this.
	He doesn't even say anything.
	That's racist.
	How is it racist?
	Because you think you're not racist just because you know black people and you're around black people.
	Proximity doesn't make you not racist.
	He goes, wait, I never said I was or wasn't racist.
	What are you talking about?
	And by the way, if, like, I was in a Zoom meeting and I had two black babies, and I was like, hey, everyone, that is a joke.
	And it is not a racist joke.
	It's a racial joke.
	So if a black guy was on there with two white babies, people go, what's going on there, Phoenix?
	I don't know why I called him Phoenix, Felix.
	You know?
	Or if a 90-year-old woman has three babies in her arm and it's like, hi, guys, ready to start the meeting?
	That's an age joke.
	Like, what the fuck?
	Who cares?
	If it doesn't have a noose around his neck and you're like, party's over for this baby, then, and by the way, he gets her.
	I don't know if this is on that clip, but he points out that her kids go to the whitest school in New York State.
	The whitest school imaginable.
	And this is always the case.
	It's true of my neighborhood.
	The Black Lives Matter signs are on the lawn, not one black person near me for miles.
	Miles and miles and miles and miles and miles.
	They're all in the neighboring town.
	And if everyone was to take them at their word and say, oh, you want more diversity?
	Okay, we're going to rezone the school and include some of the black kids.
	No, no, no.
	I just like the vibe of it.
	I like it in theory, not in practice.
	The more you crow about racial diversity, the whiter your kids' school is, especially women.
	These are just facts, folks.
	See a white man bouncing a brown baby on their lap and they don't know the context.
	That is harmful.
	And I'm not trying to be a martyr.
	I'm trying to illustrate to you that you think I'm a fuck, excuse me, you think I'm a social justice warrior and you think I'm being patronizing and I'm getting pressure for not being enough of an advocate.
	And I take that to heart and that hurts me.
	And I have to learn to make how to be a better white person.
	I would like to know before this meeting adjourns how having my friend's nephew on my lap was hurtful to people.
	This so that's a guy commenting on it.
	So scroll through him.
	Recording from you don't need to see commentary on commentary.
	Who likes to get her tits in the shot, huh?
	Who James LaBrie from Dream Theater?
	Excuse me.
	Speak, please.
	Can you hear me?
	Yes, Tom, I can hear you.
	Okay, thank you.
	Robin, I would like to directly ask you a question.
	You alleged racist behavior.
	What exactly was that racist behavior about having my friend of five years over my house in my living room with her daughter, who is best friends with my daughter, and her nephew?
	What is racist about that?
	So it's the distinction between individual acts of proximity to color does not mean you're not racist.
	Strong Thurmond.
	This is these tropes, right?
	And she's about to part of the proximity to colors does not mean you're not racist.
	You can be racist and still be around black people and even have a black wife.
	And then they pull out Strom Thurmond.
	But does proximity, like if you are next to a black person, then you are racist.
	No, I'm not racist because I'm near you and you're a bunch of races.
	Oh.
	But I think the fact that he had a black baby on his lap, that made him racist.
	That's what she's saying.
	No, she's saying that's the problem.
	She's not identifying the question.
	She's jumped ahead and said, but she's acting like he did a racist thing and then he said, look, there's a black baby here.
	I'm not racist.
	But the racist thing was having the black baby.
	So she's defending something that she's like two steps ahead.
	The defense is the offense.
	You have to go back and say how the baby was racist.
	What was racist about my behavior during that time?
	Tom, when you said my living room is integrated right now as a response to discussion of systematic racism, no, it wasn't.
	You had friends who that's not integration.
	Integration is a system.
	Tom, I wanted to tell you, I know that you believe that you called me racist.
	You have a hundred people that told you, I am not calling you racist.
	I think that was behavior.
	Tom, I don't, you sue me.
	Did you read Ibrahim Kendi?
	Did you read how to be an anti-racist?
	Well, this is another thing, too.
	You have to do the work, which, by the way, comes from gangs.
	Like bikers say to their recruits, you got to do the work before you can become in the fucking pagans or whatever.
	So that came through gang culture.
	Then that became through black academics.
	And now they say do the work.
	And the work is to read a bunch of bullshit books, not real books, but like white fragility.
	Chelsea Handler posted a post of her with all her black books on Instagram.
	And it's like the color purple, which was really worn out.
	That one she, that one's been in the bath a few times.
	And then it was like, why I only talk, I won't talk to white people about race anymore.
	Why wouldn't you just go to her motherfucking Instagram, you retard?
	Well, there's a couple reasons.
	I've done that before, and then it could be their story, and then it's invisible forever.
	No, it was not a story.
	I would have told you that.
	But would you Google image Chelsea Handler books?
	Black books.
	Oh my god, you're on the screen.
	Because I thought it was like a thing.
	There it is, top left.
	Most recent one.
	You fucktard.
	Hello?
	I do not see it.
	You're on it now.
	Yeah, are you looking at it?
	Well, now it's yes.
	So zoom in on that.
	Zoom in a little more, please.
	There we go.
	We're getting there.
	We're almost there.
	White Rage.
	Why they call me a feminist, a Black Lives Matter manifesto or something.
	Color purple, of course.
	Taneshi Coates, Between the World and Me.
	A lot of like me search in these books.
	Not a lot of data.
	Like you read Pat Buchanan and it's just like an onslaught of charts and historical facts.
	It's not a lot of like me.
	I don't know anything about Pat Buchanan.
	He never puts himself in his books.
	Why I'm no longer talking to white people about race?
	Negrophobia.
	So that's what you're supposed to do.
	That's the work.
	Read fiction and back up my argument so you can use these tropes like Strom Thurman, which if she doesn't get to it, I'll get to it.
	Make me racist for not reading that.
	I'm not calling you racist.
	I'm saying that no, I'm saying that was racist behavior.
	We are all capable of racist behavior.
	I am capable of racist behavior.
	I owned up to it in this meeting right now when I apologize to Edward for minimizing his one vote.
	All people are capable of racist behavior.
	And we should apologize when we offend people of color.
	If it's on your neck, you do not need to hold it near your mouth.
	In fact, it's making your audio blow out.
	When they get upset, when they say this is a harmful space, when they log out of a meeting immediately because they see white people exhibiting their power over people of color.
	So it's not my job to convince you.
	It's all tropes.
	Even read a book about white fragility or Ibrahim Kendi.
	I can't sit here in a working business meeting and educate you about the distinction between interpersonal racism and that.
	Then you had a smirk and a grin on your face when you pulled that child in.
	And then three minutes later, you in a joking tone said, oh my God, my living room's integrated right now.
	In a joking tone, as if.
	As if.
	Lady, I don't know how much Coke you have to do for your septum to go all the way into another complete nostril.
	It's supposed to be in the middle.
	Oh, ew, whoa.
	Her septum is in the middle of her left nostril.
	First, slavery and then segregation.
	Look, let's just stop.
	If you're going to do Coke, distribute it evenly across both nostrils.
	If you're doing bumps, you want to go.
	And then the second bump goes in a completely different nostril.
	You're clearly only putting Coke in one nostril and it's pushed your septum out of fear to the other side of your nose.
	You're doing it wrong.
	And you're too old to be doing Coke.
	You're going to have a heart attack.
	Now you look like John Malkovich.
	We're nothing and would go poof because you happened to have a black friend.
	It was so belittling.
	It was so snide.
	Perhaps you didn't intend it to be racist, and that does not matter.
	Do you know what the job is?
	Like what companies they work for?
	Oh, there's all teachers.
	Actually.
	And imagine that blacks had to go through that kind of scrutiny.
	Like he's a white guy and he's an academic, so they can just, he's a perfect target.
	And they can use all their books and all their tropes and all their little sayings against him.
	But imagine there was a black teacher who came on and there was a white woman in the frame and he just, it was his white girlfriend and her ask him in a frame.
	He's like, hey, get this out of here, honk, honk.
	They would be going, okay, can we focus a little bit, please, Derek?
	All right, now let's get started.
	I know that was funny.
	That was kind of adorable.
	But we need to get started.
	Or if a black guy had a white baby and he said, look, my living room is integrated.
	They go, it certainly is.
	It certainly is.
	It is something for which.
	Now, that's what I call hands-on.
	Yeah, it would be great.
	Oh, my God.
	You need to look deep inside and say, wow, I've heard that.
	You know what this smells of?
	It's like big sisters berating their brothers.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	People, whether you intended to or not, you did.
	And honestly, you need to take a moment and a deep breath and think about what you are doing and how you are sitting on this town.
	Siskin told my real estate agent that she needs to take a moment and reflect on what she's done and she should apologize to my community and also donate $3,000 to the ACLU.
	There's a lot of like, No.
	It's not a joke.
	There's a lot of sort of religious behavior here.
	Take a moment and pray to my God.
	Read my Bible.
	Read my Taneshi Coates Bible.
	Read the book.
	The book, the Bible.
	Pray to my gods.
	And their gods, by the way, are pagan gods.
	We're drifting back into a matriarchy.
	What do matriarchies do?
	What do pagans do?
	What did the Druids do?
	They sacrificed children and virgins.
	And what do we do?
	We've got our girls being hurled in front of cars on the highway.
	They're on OnlyFans, slutting themselves out.
	They're prostitutes.
	They're fucking going on slut walks.
	They're not getting married.
	There are colostomy bags for some guys come at the age of 55, waiting for a booty call.
	They are fucking, and our children are drag queen story hours.
	Our children are having, giving hormones.
	We're giving them speed for attention deficit disorder.
	We're giving them hormones to make them grow tits so they don't go through puberty.
	So they're permanently infertile.
	Those hormones they give kids who are trans kids make them infertile.
	We're sacrificing babies.
	Look at Planned Parenthood.
	What was it?
	60 million black babies?
	I can't be right.
	60,000?
	40,000 a year?
	I can't remember the numbers.
	But that's genocide.
	That's sacrificing babies to the gods of political correctness.
	247 black babies every day.
	That's a lot.
	What if they were raped?
	Yeah, 1% of these pregnancies are rape related.
	Anyway, go back to that.
	259,000 black Americans go by abortion nature every year, right?
	So, how long has this been going on?
	Probably since the 70s?
	Let's say 1980?
	That's 40 years.
	40 times 250,000?
	That's a lot.
	Here, let them talk and I'll do that math.
	I cannot imagine.
	I cannot imagine that if we had been in a school setting, that you might have brought some rightboard.
	The fact is, there are plenty of times that we don't get to talk or respond to people in the moment.
	I'm actually getting ahead of you.
	And the fact is, anyway, the first one with the great tits was talking about Strom Thurmond.
	And that's a go-to story for them.
	And it doesn't seem to be in that clip, but Strom Thurmond was seen as a major racist because he opposed the Civil Rights Act.
	He opposed desegregation of America.
	And he got his maid pregnant, who was black and had a black kid.
	He was great to the kid, paid for all her college, paid for everything.
	Let me see those bazooms.
	Distracted by boobs.
	Well, we have no idea what they're like, but they're not pancakes.
	And if they're droopers, I'm still in.
	Why did you just have such great tits?
	I do not understand it.
	He's got broad shoulders, though.
	Well, that's just the ankle.
	But those look like some real floppers.
	And yeah, he got her pregnant, stuck by the kid, made sure the kid was cared for, paid for the kid's education.
	So their thing is: see, isn't it proof that you can hate blacks and still be near them and fuck them and have a kid with them and love them?
	So then they go to, if you have a black wife, you can still be racist.
	They use it against me because they go, no, no, no, the fact that he has an Indian wife, he's still a white supremacist.
	Really?
	Why did I sully my race with an Indian?
	But Strom Thurman was against segregation.
	I mean, sorry, desegregation.
	Desegregation, I would say, is becoming a minority position.
	Segregation is the norm in America, voluntary segregation.
	You have black neighborhoods that want to be black.
	They don't want white people in their neighborhoods.
	Go, do me a favor.
	Go to East New York.
	Go to Harlem.
	Go to Bushwick with a newspaper with some rentals circled with a red marker.
	And go up and start looking for apartments.
	Black people come up to you on the street.
	I've seen it happen.
	This was like 2000, but my buddy was looking for an apartment in Bushwick.
	I don't know why.
	And some woman's on a phone, and she stops, she gets out of the phone with and she goes, oh, I know you ain't moving to this neighborhood.
	They bitch about Whole Foods moving in.
	And they want to have the chop was segregated.
	They have separate proms.
	And there's an argument for it.
	I said this on the show a while ago, but in Kansas City, before Jackie Robinson joined the MLB, they had their own Negro League.
	And it thrived.
	The community thrived.
	They would go see games there.
	They were great games.
	And everyone dressed up.
	And you'd see your dentist, and you'd see your black dentist, your black doctor.
	You'd see the policeman there.
	Everyone from the community would get together.
	It was almost like a church.
	And then desegregation happened in baseball.
	They got Jockey Robinson.
	And then all the good players started going to the MLB.
	So the game started sucking.
	The baseball diamond, people just stopped going to games.
	The diamond literally fell apart.
	The stands grew filled with weeds.
	And the community became separate, disparate, non-cohesive.
	And that was from desegregation.
	Why do you think all these white people live in white neighborhoods and demand their schools are all white?
	Why do they freak out when they start seeing blacks at the local beach and lock it up with a chain while saying Black Lives Matter and hate has no home here?
	Why do you think they have a heart attack if you desegregate the schools?
	Why do you think that woman that you just saw talking about Strom Thurmond, just she has the same views as Strom Thurmond.
	Her children go to an all-white school in an all-white district.
	She's practicing segregation.
	Segregation is mainstream.
	If your school has a black prom, then your school is practicing segregation.
	Now, it's voluntary, and in the past it was involuntary.
	Is that such a big distinction?
	It's still happening.
	So yeah, there's not, Strom Thurmond said I'm not racist.
	He was just making an argument that everyone is making silently.
	That's why I called a new America silent apartheid, because we are separated.
	And I'll show you why.
	Check out one, two.
	This is fucking insane.
	Go to the video.
	Uh.
	Hey, what's going on now?
	Is that the right one?
	Let me click it.
	I thought there was a bunch of videos in there.
	Keep scrolling down.
	And that's over?
	Maybe I sent you the wrong one.
	BLM harasses Christians attending church.
	Yeah.
	So this couple's going to church.
	And a bunch of families, a bunch of white Christians are going to church, and Black Lives Matter, including white people, are screaming at them.
	Oh, is Facebook taking it down?
	Damn.
	Shiza beans.
	How convenient, huh?
	Is it offensive to you?
	This video?
	Is that why you took it down?
	Okay, I'll tell you what happened.
	So this poor woman's bringing, and then they're yelling, Black Lives Matter, at these white people going to a Christian church.
	What?
	The first video was black people had stormed Black Lives Matter.
	So when I say Black Lives Matter, I mean 80% Black people, 20% white people in this particular case.
	Go into a church and they're screaming, Black Lives Matter.
	And then I guess they're getting kicked out because they were there to disrupt it.
	And this guy's handing them this card like, Jesus loves you.
	And they're like, Jesus don't fucking love me, motherfucker.
	And then in this other video, these people are walking up to church and one of the black guys yells out, why she got a baby with her?
	Why are you taking a baby to church?
	Have you never been to church?
	In fact, I kind of agree with them because I fucking hate hearing babies cry in church.
	So kids, I hate kids in church.
	It's so fucking loud.
	They totally disrupt the whole thing.
	And I'm trying to concentrate.
	It's not an easy book to understand.
	So they're reading from the Bible.
	I'm like near the front going, it's like when I took algebra in university and it was so fucking hard.
	Oh, good.
	So there's the first video I talked about.
	Black Lives Matter!
	Look at that.
	Back up.
	Back up.
	You don't have to do that, boy.
	You crazy?
	I mean, a fight needs to break out, no?
	People just need to fight more, I think.
	Like, someone comes into my church and tries to fuck up.
	That's like coming into your home.
	You're telling me not to worship God?
	So that's a good one, but do you have the other one?
	The other one's great.
	Because he says, why are you bringing a baby to church?
	And then they start going, save those kids.
	Save those kids.
	And then the guys, the dads, make a wall at the base of the stairs.
	And they have the megaphones right in their face.
	Save those kids.
	Say, I would just fucking.
	That's doing your eardrums damage.
	Here it is.
	They got babies with him.
	He's never been to church.
	Why are you bringing a baby into a church that wraps the car?
	You are missing your daughter.
	Look, just pause.
	You're seeing racial hatred right there that we haven't seen since 1930s America, where you would see the black family and the white people going, all of this is revenge for Birmingham, Alabama.
	That's what we're seeing now.
	No justice.
	It's not justice, it's revenge.
	And it's racism.
	I don't believe in revenge.
	Good morning.
	Let's see this.
	Join our religion.
	look at him getting into his face Just a word to the wise white guys, don't have your hands behind your back if something's going to go down.
	You want your hands up here by your tits.
	No, not behind.
	Up here.
	And you want to keep space.
	Say, get back, get back from me.
	Look at this.
	Save those kids.
	Just push those two megaphones into their teeth.
	This is not free speech.
	when you say speech harms other people.
	Yeah, you're doing permanent damage to his ears.
	I mean, come on.
	I zoned out.
	It's radical to bring a baby to a Christian church.
	This is getting to be like South Africa.
	Right before all these white farmers started getting killed.
	This is like right around the end of apartheid.
	You're not supposed to block the church entrance.
	Hey, you are the church entrance.
	You're the church entrance.
	You can step to your left and your right door.
	And yes, the end of apartheid is a good thing, dummies.
	But what followed was a lot of riots and a lot of race-based violence.
	Black on white.
	Okay, last thing before we take a history lesson.
	You got Mark Zuckerberg's sister wrote a poem that also sums up the poisonous educational system and what it does.
	Revenge.
	What did I just say?
	So blow that up.
	She's got some non-Zuckerbergian name.
	I can't see it.
	What's her name again?
	It's like Diaz.
	Move up.
	Let's see.
	Maybe go to the bottom.
	Fucking for it.
	Eck Poetry.
	ECC.
	Huh.
	ECC poetry.
	So she's hit her name.
	But anyway, this is Mark Zuckerberg's sister.
	You cut from the same cloth.
	Revenge.
	Since you mention it, I think I will start that race war.
	I could have swung either way.
	Why is there a question mark there?
	I could have swung either way, but now I'm definitely spending the next four years converting your daughters to lesbianism.
	I'm going to eat all your guns, swallow them, lock, stock, and barrel, and spit bullet casings onto the dinner table.
	You know, fucking, David Cross's wife said the same thing to me.
	She thinks I'm a homophobe.
	And so she thinks me, my kids becoming gay is some sort of revenge.
	So she goes, oh, she's going to be a fucking dyke, and I'm going to turn her out.
	And then she goes like this.
	And I was like, Amber, this is the closest I've ever come to hitting a woman.
	I think we're done here.
	We didn't really speak since.
	Go back.
	Did you see her Amber Tamlin's picture on Instagram?
	Where she put her up self-nude?
	Kind of.
	It's mostly just like underarm stuff.
	Yeah, I saw it.
	It's so boring and sad.
	It's pretty bad.
	Don't show me.
	All right.
	I'll give birth to an army of mixed-race babies.
	This is sort of like that not fucking around guy, the coalition of not giving a fuck, where they're there to fight this army of Nazis and they're like not there.
	Or you think that you giving birth to mixed-race babies drives me crazy?
	Oh no!
	Is it Randy Zuckerberg?
	She has a different last name, but is that her first name, Randy?
	No.
	Okay.
	I'll keep looking.
	I'll give birth with fathers from every continent and genders to outnumber the stars.
	My legion of multiracial babies will be intersectional as fuck, and your swastikas will not be enough to save you.
	Maybe 3% of white people marry outside of their race.
	There's this myth that there's the Browning of America, but it's not backed up with data.
	All those people you see in the New York Times talking about the Browning of America, they're married to white people.
	Those are Jewish people married to Jews.
	Those are white people married to whites.
	Because real talk, you didn't stop the future from coming.
	You just delayed our coronation.
	We have the same deviant haircuts we had yesterday.
	We are still getting gay married like nobody's business because it's still nobody's business.
	That's kind of a good line.
	There's a Muslim kid in Kansas who has already written the schematic for the robot that will steal your job in manufacturing.
	Well, it's an illegal alien's job he's stealing, but okay.
	And that robot will also be gay.
	No, not gay robots.
	So get used to it.
	Get used to gay robots?
	Okay, give me a second.
	All right.
	Is this robots fucking each other and their little robot ass?
	Okay.
	We didn't manifest the mountain by speaking its name.
	The buildings here are not on your side just because you make them spray-painted accomplices.
	These walls do not have genders, and they all think you suck.
	Walls hate me?
	I just think you're uncomfortable because the walls have ears and they're right here.
	There's four of them right here, man.
	Do you guys think I suck?
	No, dude.
	We're not gay either.
	She's a bitch.
	Phew.
	Even the earth found common cods with us, the way you trample us both.
	There's this thing with our daughters now where these women, they have this like, oh yeah, motherfucker.
	I'm going to slit your throat, throat, and drink the blood.
	They sound like 11-year-old boy metalheads.
	I'm going to worship Satan and eat all the guns and spit out the bullets.
	Like Enrique Tario, the chairman of the Prowboys, said, We're coming to chop and we're going to fuck everyone up or something.
	And some chick gets on there and she's like, Oh, yeah, I hope you do, bitch boy.
	I will fuck you up.
	And he's like, Okay, well, we'll be there.
	She goes, I'm at the fucking center for blah, blah, blah.
	She names where she works or something.
	And then you see her, and she's like a fat five who's just like, not with facial tattoos and brass knuckles, just like your sister's friend in a robe, like, because he called her a cow.
	And she's like, oh yeah, yeah, I'm a real cow.
	And you're like, yeah, you kind of are.
	Like, their egos are huge, too.
	You ever see that picture of that ugly bald feminist with purple hair?
	And it says, you're not prettier than me, bitch.
	You're just thinner.
	And that's on her t-shirt.
	And you're looking at her going, unless this woman is a Basset Hound, then yeah, she's prettier than you.
	You're a two.
	I'm not going to find it.
	You're not going to find it.
	Well, if you weren't a retard, you would look up, you're not prettier than me, just thinner.
	I did.
	And then also purple hair.
	No, don't put purple hair in there.
	That fucks the whole thing up.
	Just so she didn't put in that.
	You put in purple hair.
	You're not prettier than me.
	There she is.
	Third picture.
	Why do I have to tell you how to do this?
	And her hair is blue.
	Apparently, I was wrong.
	No, honey.
	You're not prettier than me.
	I don't want to see this, honey.
	She must look like the elephant man.
	Look at her.
	Look at her face.
	She looks like my accountant.
	All right, let's just go back to the poem.
	I'm enjoying it.
	Oh, yeah, there'll be signs and rainbow-colored drum circles and folks arguing ideology until even I want to punch them, but I won't because they're my family in that blood of the covenant sense.
	If you've never loved someone like that, you cannot outwaltz us.
	We have all the good dancers anyway.
	Yeah, that's my goal to outwaltz you.
	I'll confess, I don't know if I'm alive right now.
	I haven't heard my heartbeat in days.
	I keep holding my breath for the moment the plane goes down and I have to save enough oxygen to get my friends through.
	What?
	Where do you save the oxygen?
	In your tits?
	And then you breastfeed them oxygen?
	But I finally found the argument against suicide and it's us.
	So you're clearly very depressed.
	You live, their lives are depressing.
	We're the effigies that haunt America's nights harder the longer they spend burning us.
	We are scaring the shit out of people by spreading, by refusing to die.
	What are we but a fire?
	We know everything we do is so the kids after us will be able to follow.
	You know what's weird?
	She's kind of a good writer.
	Like the iambic pentameter, the pace here is kind of pleasing to read.
	It's got a good rhythm to it.
	Of course I'm terrified.
	Of course I'm a shroud.
	And of course it's not fair.
	But rest assured, anxious America, you brought your fists to a glitter fight.
	This is a taco truck rally and all you have is coleslaw.
	You cannot deport our minds.
	We won't hold funerals for our potential.
	We have always been what makes America great.
	Wow.
	Let's just take a look at what made America great.
	What made America great was first Western civilization.
	Britain planted the seeds for America.
	And then we said, bye, Dad, I'm moving out of the house.
	And we started America.
	Let's have a brief look, shall we, at the history of Western civilization and, of course, the history of America.
	Let's have a brief look.
	Here, I made a chart.
	I made a chart of the history of Western civilization.
	This is everything you need to know.
	And it starts when Jesus was, well, actually, no, it starts with the Roman Empire.
	And it goes to 2020.
	And let's be clear here.
	A lot of shit doesn't matter.
	Okay?
	I don't care about this.
	I don't care.
	The Iron Age, all this BC shit, the Bronze Age, and they're discovering steel and stuff.
	I mean, we have to draw the line somewhere, right?
	So we're not going to learn anything before modern Western civilization.
	And I'm afraid we was Kangs.
	That goes for you, Egypt.
	I don't know how to tell you that Cleopatra was Greek and everyone was basically olive skin.
	They were not black.
	Yes, Tutankhamun had blacks on his casket.
	Those were slaves.
	You send the slaves with the dead so they'll have slaves when they go there.
	Birth of Judaism, that sounds nice and everything.
	That's not important to me.
	What we care about is Western Civ, and that involves plenty of Judaism, by the way.
	But we're going to start with the Roman Empire.
	Julius Caesar, first emperor of Rome, 27 BC.
	And then Jesus was born.
	What a cool birthday.
	12250.
	Right?
	He was the first guy in the calendar.
	But he only lived for 30 years.
	So these lines should basically be touching.
	And then what do we have?
	Maybe 300 years of Roman conquering, and then they all die.
	I think they got up to a bunch of faggotry.
	They were sucking each other's dicks and screwing kids and stuff.
	And that's usually the beginning of the end.
	Maybe that's why we're here now.
	Maybe this is the fall of the Western Empire.
	Like, what are we doing?
	We're grooming kids.
	Huff Poe and all these cat blogs are defending pedophilia.
	We're having drag queen story hour.
	I think 286 AD was the first drag queen story hour where some homo got up in a cave like Plato and taught everyone that boys are sexy.
	And the next thing you know, the world collapses.
	Once you can get rid of the family, that's a really great way to destroy one.
	Now, not a lot happened here.
	Not a lot of stuff.
	In fact, I think we should make another chart.
	That's foreshadowing, I secretly did, of like just American history.
	But I was shocked when I made this chart how long the Middle Ages were.
	Look at that shit.
	A thousand years.
	Medieval period, Middle Ages, Dark Ages, all mean the same thing.
	The Viking Age, that's why we have Scotland, right?
	They did a lot of conquering.
	Is there anything down there that I'm missing?
	Oh, yeah, the British monarchy.
	Kings and queens started here.
	I think they came up from France and they started taking over.
	They had Scotland first.
	I guess the Vikings and the kings and queens got along.
	And then England was born.
	British monarchy.
	I would say the British monarchy ended with our present queen, Queen Elizabeth.
	Go to the end of that.
	Should I get out of the way here?
	Yeah.
	She was started in 52.
	And that's pretty much the end of the monarchy, right?
	That's the end of them having any power.
	She's still the head of Canada, if you look on Wikipedia, but what's she going to do?
	Say you're not allowed to send it?
	What do you think would happen if the queen said, don't send it anymore?
	I think that Canada would say, just gonna send it.
	I also sort of made this chart because I was curious about Braveheart and when he was.
	So that was the 1300s, which is, of course, the 14th century.
	But look at this.
	The wars with England, the Anglo-Scottish War started in 1300.
	Braveheart peaced out five years in.
	That movie, Braveheart, sounded like it was this entire duration.
	But this was just, he just got the ball rolling.
	He just started them sending it, eh?
	By the way, history teachers, it really helps the kids learn if you say history in a cool way.
	Like you be a hoser and you say they're just going to send it, use cool analogies, say they really dunked on England, send them homeward to think again, as is in the Scottish anthem.
	Or say fuck.
	Say, yeah, so Scotland was like, fuck you, to England.
	And then the kids will listen more.
	Renaissance period, fascinating time.
	That would be when Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors.
	No, I'm not giving that to the stupid Egyptians.
	That was 300 years.
	This seems like a pretty good time.
	Although, no, not for Britain.
	I guess it was a pretty good time in Europe.
	But Britain was having the Anglo-Scottish Wars.
	I was surprised the bubonic plague was so short.
	But it killed like, I think, 200 million people.
	And that was 1346.
	Then we had this cool thing, speaking of slaves in the 14th century, around when Braveheart was rebelling against the English, we had Watt Tyler, a white slave, rebel against the English lords and start a fucking riot.
	That's back when riots were cool.
	We lost Da Vinci around here.
	Am I missing anything else down there?
	That's just the British monarchy, right?
	All right, so let's go up here.
	And this is when things start getting exciting.
	The 15th century.
	The 14th century, it just seemed like people were trying to establish stuff, you know?
	It's in the 15th century we start having things exciting like Joan of Arc in the Hundred Years' War with the English versus the French.
	Remember, Scotland sided with the French to fight England.
	Really did not get along.
	Then you have Columbus going to the Caribbean.
	No, he did not go to America.
	He came to the Caribbean.
	Yes, he did chop off a bunch of Indians' hands.
	That was the vocabulary of the time back then.
	They were chopping off hands too, eating each other, sacrificing babies.
	What are you supposed to do?
	Give them a fine?
	Take away their passports?
	That's not the way it worked back then.
	You didn't get misdemeanors.
	It was either chop out your tongue or you're good.
	But I have a theory about this.
	I think when Columbus came, he introduced a plague of his own to the Aztecs, whatever the hell they were in the Caribbean at the time, the Tainu.
	What do Puerto Ricans call themselves all the time?
	Taino Indians?
	Something like that.
	And that went up the Caribbean, up Central America, up the west coast of America, and decimated the American Indians eastward.
	So although we fought them for 400 years, their numbers were severely crippled by a plague that probably started with Columbus accidentally.
	And then we had, of course, Henry VIII dies.
	I've just put him dying there just because you're like, whenever you see him, you're like, when was he around?
	Right?
	So now we get exciting with America.
	We have the Indian Wars for 400 years.
	They ended, when did they end?
	1609 to what?
	1924.
	That's pretty fucking recent.
	People are alive when the Indian Wars ended, alive today.
	But one thing I find funny about settling America is it was two groups.
	There was the 1607s up here, Jamestown, that was a scam.
	The Spanish owned that part of North America at the time, and they weren't paying attention to it.
	They had abandoned it, but it was theirs.
	So England said, let's go in there and just fucking mine gold and then get the fuck out and not even tell them we were there.
	We'll come back with a bunch of gold.
	So they went there.
	Of course, the gold rush was hundreds of years later in a totally different part of the country.
	They didn't get gold.
	They got a lot of tobacco, though, and corn and some other random shit.
	And they never left.
	But then, 13 years later, you have these guys in Plymouth Rock, totally different incentive to go there.
	You see how much more interesting American history is than other histories?
	Totally different reason.
	They went there to escape the temptations of the Church of England.
	They were Puritans, and they were worried they'd get too horny if they fell to the more liberal churches.
	So they went there to have Puritan culture unthwarted, almost like Amish or something.
	Now what do we have down here?
	Oh yeah, so that was the end of the Anglo-Scottish.
	Isn't it interesting though?
	The Anglo-Scottish Wars were over in 1600, but Scotland didn't join Britain until 1707.
	So that's why I did a dotted line here, because they may not have been at war, but the beef was not settled.
	Then this magical day.
	You know what I think is cool about this?
	And we'll look at this with American history?
	USA had their constitution before they were born, before they were a country.
	They were that positive they were going to win.
	Okay, so these are all little blips because we're going back to the Romans, so four years is going to be nothing.
	What's that, slavery?
	Let's follow the slavery line.
	Actually, zoom out a bit, Ryan.
	This is a bit too close.
	So we got the Industrial Revolution, which was fucking massive in Britain, but not really that big of a deal in America.
	Slavery ending.
	Go up.
	UK abolishes slavery first, but that doesn't really mean anything.
	They barely had any slaves.
	They had a few guys they stole on boats.
	We had to fight hard to really abolish it.
	So we abolished it about 80 years later, 75 years later.
	Oh, look at this.
	1908, we discovered oil in the Middle East.
	Fuck, why do we ever tell them about that?
	1928, penicillin.
	See, when I was doing this part of the chart, I started thinking, I shouldn't do this.
	Like when you're doing like Braveheart Dies and the old-timey stuff, we got that.
	But if you're going to get into details like penicillin, you need a new chart.
	Go down.
	Israel's born, obviously, right after World War II.
	All right.
	So this is getting too cluttered here.
	It's time to do a whole new chart of America from 1776.
	You got that?
	There we go.
	I'm selling these, by the way, the originals.
	So this I started in 1776 because that's when you should start.
	I think you should have two different brains when it comes to this.
	Big picture, Western civilization, Roman, Julius Caesar, all the way till Trump.
	Hail Emperor Trump, the two great emperors.
	So that's sort of big picture thinking.
	But as far as really caring and really seeing patterns and really getting involved, let's just start at 1706.
	1776, I mean.
	Now, Ben Franklin discovered electricity.
	This is an interesting example, by the way.
	But so what?
	Like, you can't power a lamp with a key on a kite.
	So I don't really count that, and I'm glad it happened outside of my chart.
	Boston Tea Party, I don't care.
	That's not America.
	That was British people fighting British people.
	But go over here.
	This is big.
	So 1897, there was the Chicago World Fair, right?
	Is that 1893?
	Fuck, the dates are kind of weird.
	Oh, yeah, it's there, but the line is farther back.
	So 1893, they just sort of flicked a switch and the whole lighthouse lit up, I think.
	White House.
	And the White House was at the Chicago World Fair.
	Well, they lit up a bunch of shit, okay?
	At the Chicago World Fair in 1893.
	And that's when electricity became affordable and popular and plausible.
	So it's one thing to discover it.
	It's another thing to be able to pipe it into everyone's home.
	Like the computer, we had computers in the 70s.
	But until Apple gave you a little home computer with that little floppy disk, then it's irrelevant.
	It's a bunch of rich guys use it to do massive computing.
	Now you can do essays at home.
	That's when it matters, as far as I'm concerned.
	All right.
	So let's go back a bit.
	Actually, let's just do the presidents first.
	Go to the bottom.
	Now, one thing I learned while laying these out is there's a lot of bullshit around here you shouldn't give a shit about.
	Zach Taylor, Martin Von Buren, John Quincy Adams.
	Like, some of these guys were president for a month.
	I'm not learning their names.
	I'm not learning anything about William Henry Harrison and James Buchanan.
	None of these guys matter.
	I guess Ulysses Grant was interesting because of the Civil War, but I don't think you have to learn any of these.
	Fuck all of these people.
	The only people that matter here are Andrew Jackson, James Madison, I guess John Adams and Thomas Jefferson because they were second and third, but look how short their duration was.
	Like a couple years.
	George Washington, of course, is very important.
	Let's not tear that down.
	Revolutionary War, of course, goes backwards, 1775, 1783.
	I did the death counts, too, on this.
	25,000, which doesn't sound like a lot, but the population was go up.
	Population was only 5 million.
	So that's pretty bad.
	So scroll forward here on the presidents.
	Don't care, don't care.
	Grover Cleveland, sort of care.
	Teddy Roosevelt, okay.
	I care.
	William Taft, no.
	Woodrow Wilson, I care.
	I think he started the whole daddy issues culture that we're in now.
	At least that's what Glenn Beck told me.
	Because I was telling Glenn about how the two lesbians who started BLM, yes, they're Marxists, but they chose Marx because he has daddy issues and both their fathers abandoned them.
	And he goes, we've been having daddy issues since this fucker.
	Don't care about Warren Harding.
	Calvin Coolidge is important because Charles Johnson told me it was.
	Herbert Hoover, sure.
	FDR, is that the fucker who gave us the New Deal?
	Or is that Lyndon Johnson?
	Go up a bit?
	No, a lot.
	The New Deal is FDR.
	Yeah, 1933.
	That's a big fucking deal.
	That's when we got this culture of government spending and everything turned to shit.
	And all of a sudden, we owe $13 trillion.
	And of course, now we start caring.
	And you'll notice there's room now.
	Like, go back to 1841.
	This was a fucking madhouse.
	What was going on then?
	We had the Wild West.
	When was the Civil War?
	We had Reconstruction after the Civil War.
	Yeah, I guess this was during the Civil War.
	When was the Civil War?
	Civil War was way over here, 1861 to 1865.
	And go back to the presidents?
	So all this shit was starting before the Civil War.
	Like 1841 to 1857 was just a jumbled mess.
	We had like 40 presidents in three years.
	Anyway, so you go over to the end and you see when it matters.
	And now you'll notice we've been getting a pretty good pace since maybe Coolidge.
	Maybe Woodrow Wilson.
	Boom, boom, boom.
	No chaos.
	Boom, boom.
	Right, left.
	Right.
	Look at that.
	Right, yeah, right, right, left, right, left, right.
	Of course, Prowboys and Vice are very important.
	All right, so let's go back to the beginning of the chart.
	Zoom out a bit.
	So we started buying most of America from France in the West with the Louisiana Purchase.
	And then we had Lewis and Clark go out there with some Indians and explore the whole place.
	It's shocking to people that the concept of the Wild West goes way into, look at this, Wild West was, yeah, 1850 all the way to 1924.
	So you see these buildings in Manhattan that say 1851.
	You know, it's on cement or stone on the front of the building, and you think, that was fucking Wild Bill, Jesse James.
	Look, Jesse James was 1872.
	That was fucking big mustaches and shootouts and train robberies and all that stuff.
	So the country grew at a very different rate.
	New York City was thriving back here, like 1855.
	That's when Bill the Butcher died.
	Gangs in New York, all that fun stuff, little vests and everything.
	Meanwhile, the West was still a fucking primitive.
	It was in the medieval period.
	So, yeah.
	Go over back over here.
	The Alamo is such a big deal.
	I don't understand why.
	It's just like Custer's last stance.
	Yeah, it was one thing we lost for a second.
	We got Texas back a few years later.
	You know, Cinco de Mayo is about how Mexico beat back, I think, the Spanish.
	But it lasted like a couple years and then Spain just took it back.
	So they're celebrating this minor victory that didn't have any long-term effects.
	Congratulations, guys.
	Gold rush, fascinating time.
	Out west, that drew a lot of people out west and built a lot of the west.
	Got our national anthem in 1814.
	Industrial Revolution, again, not a big deal here.
	I put the Chicago fire here.
	I don't know.
	I kind of regret putting this here.
	Big deal.
	It took up a lot of land, but only 300 died.
	Custer's last stand, big relevant thing because the Indians won a battle.
	Congratulations, guys.
	Slavery abolished.
	1865, Lincoln shot, I assume because of it.
	We got Alaska for $7 million.
	So things are, you know what's interesting about this chart is you really feel some momentum here.
	Alexis de Tocqueville came to America and he said, I'm paraphrasing, but he said, democracy is slow and sluggish and inefficient, but once it starts turning its wheels, junk, jung, chucker, nothing can stop it.
	It becomes the giant boulder in Indiana Jones.
	And you feel this momentum here.
	Oh, we've got a movie theater.
	Electricity is popular.
	The Wright brothers just learned to fly.
	That's going to fucking explode.
	Soon we'll have giant buildings that whip through the sky that can fit like 300 people.
	And you'll go to Europe in six hours.
	Model T Ford, an affordable car released by Henry Ford.
	Now we've got mobility.
	Now we're cooking.
	This was, of course, a sad day when women were allowed to vote.
	But right up until now, like 1920, oh, the oil boom in California, 1920.
	Everything is going fucking fantastic.
	And then, boom, everything turns to shit starting in 1929, right?
	We're plummeting.
	FDR thinks he's saving the day with the New Deal, but he's not.
	He's just introducing the concept of government spending, which has gone haywire ever since.
	And things are looking grim.
	And then just as things are looking incredibly grim, by the way, World War I, it doesn't seem that consequential in American history.
	We lost 116,000 yet, but our population was probably about 90 million then, right?
	I don't know.
	It didn't seem to have the same kind of impact.
	But while we're suffering the Great Depression, while everyone's poor and everything blows, boom, we got hit with World War II.
	And that's why I made this.
	Look, fridges were just becoming affordable, but we were in the shit and everyone was broke.
	And so that's why I made this a big pink column.
	Because if you zoom out, it's like, hello, my baby, hello, my honey, hello, my rugged girl.
	And everything fucking sucks for what was it, six years.
	And then America, after losing 405,000 men, brave souls, I think they hearkened back to this.
	The electricity and the Model T and the affordable fridges and the Wright brothers and the movie theater.
	And we got our mojo back.
	And that's when you had, of course, a massive baby boom, people fucking like lunatics.
	Then we got Rock and Roll in 1950.
	And also in 1953-55, we got The Wild One with Marlon Brando and Rebel Without a Cause.
	This is the beginning of cool.
	Before that, a teenager was just a young adult who should get a family.
	Now, all these guys, World War II vets, they wore t-shirts.
	What?
	A t-shirt?
	That's an undershirt.
	No, I'm wearing it as a shirt.
	And they wore leather jackets.
	They were riding Harleys around Africa, fighting Nazis.
	And they come back to small town America and they're like, I'm not normal anymore.
	I'm cool now.
	I like to fight.
	I like danger.
	I ride around a motorbike.
	This was the birth of the 1%ers, the motorcycle clubs.
	They said they had a big thing in Hollister, California.
	And they said they were fighting and brawling.
	And the head of the American Motorcycle Association said, no, no, no, those don't represent us.
	They're just part of the 1%.
	And so bikers started wearing 1% badges because they're like, yeah, we are part of the evil 1%.
	Obviously, Vietnam was a major pain in Our side, 60k dead.
	That was 55 all the way up to fucking 75.
	Not as crippling as World War II, probably because we didn't have the Great Depression and everything, and the Dust Bowl poverty and all these other horrible things before it.
	It was like a tumor.
	So we were happy and thriving, but we had this Vietnam tumor on us.
	But once that was gone, we were really fucking kicking ass.
	Oh, look, the first video game, Pong.
	And post-Vietnam, I think, was probably the best time in the history of America.
	Apple released the Mac computer.
	People were dancing, fucking.
	Unfortunately, people were enjoying themselves a little too much and invented divorce.
	But when was Reagan president go down?
	So Reagan was 81 to 89.
	That was just peak America.
	And I think when Donald Trump says make America great again, he's not talking about slavery, you fucking dummies.
	There's one thing we've learned from these charts.
	You're not allowed to go too far back.
	Okay?
	Irish were slaves.
	We got slaves out the wazoo.
	The word slave comes from Slovakian, Slavs.
	Okay, so do you want to play that stupid fucking game?
	You want to say, we were kings in Egypt thousands of years before the birth of Christ, and then we plucked you away?
	No, that was the 1600s.
	You're thousands of years off.
	We plucked away your kings and made you pick cotton.
	No, we didn't do that.
	Arabs and Africans invented slavery, and they shipped them all over the world.
	We got 11 million slaves were procured in the great slave trade.
	A million died just getting to the boats.
	10 million were shipped around the world.
	We got 340,000.
	Brazil got like 3 million.
	Go get pissed off at Brazil.
	Everyone was doing it.
	We didn't start it.
	We ended it.
	And we ended it with 680,000 dead men.
	That's the equivalent of 5 million today.
	In other words, it's an American Holocaust.
	America put mostly white males through a Holocaust to free you.
	So maybe you're welcome is in order?
	And no, the cotton picking didn't build this country.
	This country was not built on slavery.
	Some of the South was built on slavery.
	And they obviously didn't do a lot of building because they lost the war.
	So they were no power fucking monger.
	And after the Civil War, the country was negative.
	The balance was below zero.
	So anything you built was gone.
	We started from scratch.
	When is the Civil War?
	It's just like Vice.
	People go, oh, Vice was started on a welfare grant.
	That's bullshit.
	It was started despite being in a socialist province, Quebec.
	But okay, if you want to talk like that, then what about when we were probably $300,000 in debt living in Williamsburg and had to start the magazine from scratch?
	Was that built on welfare?
	So go back, Civil War, 1865.
	So you could argue that America started from scratch in 1865.
	All of this, electricity, sorry slaves, Wright brothers, Model T. Ford, the California oil boom, sorry, okay?
	And we worked through this massive pink column of shit together.
	And you're like, you're still bringing up fucking Cleopatra?
	Jesus Christ, it's getting embarrassing.
	We're living in an embarrassing zenith, the most embarrassing time in America's history.
	When I see these protests, I just cringe.
	2020 cringe world.
	Now, I was going to include all of the wars in Iraq.
	I mean, sorry, all the wars in the Middle East and all the thousands of men, but you look them up and it's like we're in Lebanon for a few days, 19 men died, and it's all pretty small numbers.
	The only time you get to big numbers is Iraq war, which is still going on, 4.5K, and the money we spend there.
	I think it's more than we give to Israel.
	And the Afghanistan war, what a fucking mess.
	The Russians couldn't fix it.
	Why do we think we could?
	2.4K.
	iPhone major change.
	God Emperor Trump, of course.
	Gay marriage.
	Oh, what a seminal event.
	Every time you look up seminal moments in American history, they always include shit like that.
	You're like, yeah, I remember that when 32 gays pretended they enjoyed being married and made a bunch of white kids.
	Isn't it funny how all my straight friends who adopt end up with black kids?
	Because that's all you get.
	That's all there is available at the orphanages.
	But all the gays always seem to get a surrogate to make them a white baby.
	Always.
	I've never seen a gay couple with a black baby.
	And I know of maybe five couples that have adopted and 100% of the times it's black.
	So shouldn't gays get in shit for that?
	Anyway, so I'll zoom out.
	This is, I think, a cohesive look at the history of America.
	I think I'll print it out as a poster so you can have it on your wall to remind you of all the incredible shit we've been through together as a country and are now thriving.
	And if there's one time you don't have the right to be an ingrate, it's in 2020.
	You spoiled, ignorant fucking brats.
	You spoiled, ignorant fucking brats.
	Did you like that helpful chart?
	Yeah, I did.
	I like learning like fun stuff.
	Or learning in a fun way and being good at it.
	Secret to learning.
	Oh, my mustache is doing that thing again.
	Is to block stuff out.
	Don't be thorough.
	It's true.
	As we say in Canada, fuck the dog.
	Dog fucker means a lazy person.
	But I think that we were taught in school that you have to read a book cover to cover and then you get tested on every chapter.
	If you're reading a book and you zone out for a page, that's because that page sucked.
	Just keep on going.
	Pick up a book, read some of it, throw it down.
	It's like a record.
	You don't have to listen to every single song and memorize the lyrics.
	Be half-assed.
	It's a very freeing concept.
	Yes.
	And I'm that way for the gym.
	I sort of go, I'll just, when I don't feel like going, I go, I know, I'll go and do a shitty job.
	Did I tell you I fought Doc today?
	Did you?
	Yes.
	How'd that go?
	I have a headache.
	Oh.
	He does this.
	I hate fighting him.
	He does this thing where he wears you out and then he wails on you.
	And sparring is like you're punching someone, so it should be abnormally benevolent.
	Like whenever I would do a comedy sketch and say, okay, and then you punch me really hard, it was never hard enough because they didn't want to hurt me.
	Right.
	And that's the way you're in sparring.
	You see a guy's open, you could break all his ribs and you just go boop as if to say, oh, you shouldn't have, I could have really nailed you there.
	Well, he's kind of like a goth guy, so he's got a lot of anger towards you or something.
	Yeah, okay.
	But anyway, so I'm trying to control my breathing and I know what he's doing is trying to wear me out, so I'm not going bananas on him.
	I'm just like doing what he's doing, which is just pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop stuff.
	And then I went like this.
	But it was more like just like stretching my arms, hurt, and I was just doing that.
	And then he just starts going, gives me like this brutal combination, which you just don't do.
	You know, like imagine there was a sex scene in a movie and you're with this girl and you actually like did slip your fingers up into her pussy.
	The actress would be like, what are you doing?
	And you were just like, really tonguing her and like biting her neck.
	And the camera wasn't even on your head.
	It was on your feet.
	She'd be like, whoa, whoa, this isn't an actual sex scene.
	And that's what he does.
	He doesn't finger my pussy, obviously.
	But so, and then you know what he said after that?
	He goes, don't flex.
	It's not cute.
	So he thought that I was going like this, like, oh.
	You want to do something, bitch?
	Meanwhile, I was like, ah, fuck my back.
	I'm never fighting him again.
	That man doesn't like you very much.
	He's just so awkward.
	Hey, Gavin, you're giving us old-timers a bad name.
	Okay.
	As opposed to the good name that old-timers innately have, right?
	I'll move around, as they say, with absolutely anyone in the gym.
	In fact, I like the bigger pros because they're so good that they know exactly how loud to turn up the volume and how low to make it.
	And they'll tap you when you leave yourself open.
	And they won't give you like a, they'll still punch you.
	But you learn a lot more from the guys who can kill you.
	All right.
	Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
	Yes, yes, yes.
	Alright, let's just do the mailbag and then fucking end this shit.
	Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
	Let's turn our eyes to Gavin's mailbag.
	Let me touch it.
	So we got a letter, this is kind of old now, where this guy claims that in that Seattle collision, they were listening to Fuck You With My Heels On.
	What do you think of that?
	Pretty weird.
	He said he couldn't find the full video.
	Well, yeah, it's gone.
	But I got lots of red flags here.
	It's a blue flag.
	Ah, shit.
	I can't find it now.
	Seattle Hit and Run is by Andrew.
	Andrew Capp.
	If you type that in.
	Well, you just said his name.
	No, I didn't.
	It's a longer last name.
	Like a way longer last name.
	I'll just do Seattle Hit and Run.
	That would make more sense.
	Okay, here it is.
	Holy shit, this is unbelievable.
	You showed the Seattle Freeway Posters video, which ended her phone spinning in the air, but you won't believe what happened just before that clip starts.
	For 30 minutes prior to the crash, they were dancing and twerking on the freeway, yelling slogans at each other.
	Yeah, I know that.
	At one point, the streamer wanders out of mic range from the music, and within three minutes, she was hit.
	Guess what the last song was?
	I want to fuck you with my heels on.
	Let me fuck you with my heels on, yeah.
	Sounds like a really serious demonstration.
	No, this is not a joke.
	That was the last song the other girl heard in her life.
	I've desperately looked for the link to prove it, and it's gone.
	Original title was Black Femme March Takes I5.
	But that reminds me of this, like hurling yourself into traffic is a whiffnail joke.
	They're throwing themselves into the road gladly.
	This is not an accident.
	Go to 1.5.
	Fucking 1.5.
	Like these people are not protesting and then they get clipped by a car by accident.
	They are lunging at cars.
	Look at this.
	They're throwing themselves into the roads gladly.
	What makes you think you can take on a car?
	Oh, that's whatever.
	That goes on for days.
	All right.
	So we have no evidence of that, sir.
	And we cannot find the two-hour live stream.
	Dude, that email was from yesterday?
	And since then, we have received 8 billion, I believe.
	8 billion.
	Yes.
	Oh, 8 billion now.
	It was a kajillion.
	All right.
	Let's start with Matt.
	Please do an episode watching Hamilton.
	It's literally the gayest thing I've ever seen.
	I hate Hamilton.
	I hate that we can't have history without it being blacks and Hispanics portraying our founding fathers because our founding fathers are what?
	So disgusting.
	The thought of Conan O'Brien playing MLK in a musical about civil rights would cause riots in the streets, so it doesn't go both ways.
	I have a dream.
	Lynn Manuel Miranda, totally separately to him and Hamilton and everything, his face makes me dry heave.
	I fucking hate his face.
	And the best example of why you should hate him too, and he should make your skin crawl as much as he makes my skin crawl, is the beatbox thing he did with, what was her name?
	Emma Roberts.
	Oh, yeah, yeah.
	Is it Emma Roberts?
	She was from, she was hegemony or whatever from Harvey Potter.
	They did a beatbox.
	Oh, God.
	He flipped.
	I hate that he's sitting on his leg.
	I hate his hair.
	I hate...
	Yeah.
	Oh, so he's done multiple reps about.
	No instructions.
	Why are they sitting on their legs?
	Get your feet off the fucking couch.
	I'm sure they were beatboxing on set during those movies.
	Every young man tries it.
	That's what we do all the time.
	We just beatbox.
	Okay.
	He's the most Armenian Puerto Rican I've ever seen.
	Hey, this is going to be so bad.
	That'd be awesome.
	Do I cover my mouth?
	Yeah, just for my sake.
	I also feel like I know him.
	I remember in the 90s, the hip-hop nerds with the backpacks were really into the scientific hypothetical.
	Remember those dudes?
	They all had backpacks.
	What the fuck's in your backpack?
	Oh, that's my notepad for writing rhymes, analytical.
	The four elements of hip-hop are breaking, DJing, graffiti, and rap.
	So hip-hop is the culture with the four elements.
	Rap is just one of the four elements of hip-hop.
	They'd be working on their tag.
	Oh, so corny.
	This just sort of spit at you?
	Yeah.
	Yeah.
	It's sort of like the spit guard.
	This is going to be so embarrassing.
	Okay, what am I freestyling about?
	Gender equality.
	Fantastic.
	It's International Women's Day.
	It's he for she.
	In daughter quality feminism.
	Are you a feminist?
	Yeah, absolutely.
	Love that.
	Great.
	Yeah.
	Oh my God, am I ever.
	I mean anything you want me to do.
	We can talk in a minute.
	Am I Nazi?
	Yeah, absolutely.
	Yeah.
	Gas the juice.
	What kind of beat do you want?
	Slow or fast?
	Whatever you got.
	This is going to be bad.
	This is going to be amazing.
	Not my beatbox.
	You're rapping.
	It's going to be terrible.
	Okay.
	Perfect.
	Yo.
	Oh.
	Yo, it's Lynn and I have to laugh.
	How can we meet not be equal?
	We're like half.
	Like women are like half of the people on earth.
	And yes, they should have been equal since birth.
	That means all day, every day, equal pay, every way.
	Okay, are we really okay?
	Oh my gosh.
	Yo, this beatbox is fantastic.
	Beasts, where to find him?
	Yo, I'm drastically changing the narrative.
	Look at it.
	You kept going.
	And oh my gosh, I love watching this cute.
	Wow, my entire back is goose pimples.
	Wait, you like that?
	No, I just zoned out.
	I just zoned out.
	Same thing with the church video.
	Sometimes I just...
	can't handle it.
	Yeah, I do shut down, yeah.
	happens.
	Remember the other one where he's on the stage and he's Wait, the stage?
	Yeah, they're doing the thing on stage, and it's that there it is.
	The Hillary Clinton one.
	Oh, that was brutal.
	I remember this.
	Number one.
	You're register to vote and it's on.
	You post that Hillary sign up on your lawn.
	Number two.
	Call someone deciding about your cousin.
	Number three.
	Flip a blue.
	Watch Hillary examine the terrain.
	Watch a campaign with the man Tim Kane.
	Ah, Tim Kane and the Membrane.
	That's not good, is it?
	Wow.
	Oh, my God.
	Rosie O'Donnell and James Gordon rap.
	I need your advice.
	I want to watch that.
	Me neither.
	It's obviously going to be some pre-written stupid rhyme.
	A hurricane came, devastation reigned, a man saw his future drip dripping down the drain.
	Put a pencil to his name, just making it to his brain.
	All right, fuck off.
	Why did you put that up?
	Lee, dear Gavin, I'm in supply chain management.
	I've witnessed layoff and furlough envy among hourly associates right from the beginning.
	We have associates that are clearly trying to get themselves fired with poor performance or poor attendance.
	After a reprimand, performance, after a reprimand, comma, Lee, should put a comma there.
	Performance issues, two team leads said, I do not feel good, which is a coronavirus loophole to walk off the job.
	Because these women in logistics are incapable of handling feedback, these sentences are a nightmare, dude.
	After a reprimand, performance issues.
	After a reprimand for performance issues, two team leads said, I don't feel good.
	Because these women are incapable of handling feedback, it seems like COVID-19 is bringing out the true character of people in different ways.
	Fuck off.
	You learned to speak English.
	That could have been a major thing.
	Government-incentivized laziness.
	Fuck the government.
	All right, thanks.
	Hey, Gavin, the left seems to want to cancel people and political philosophy, philosophical ideas from society.
	Do you think the next step is to cancel things that were invented by racists?
	What if lost diaries from Jonas Salk came out to show that he thought blacks were disgusting animals?
	Would we need to reevaluate the polio vaccine that saved a billion lives?
	Or is it only okay to cancel things that aren't crucial for society?
	Can you read or if is, can you read your emails before you send them, please?
	Just once.
	I don't know, man.
	If you're a lefty, you get a pass.
	Like Daniel Johnson.
	Speeding motorcycle.
	Won't you change?
	Adored.
	Adored by lefties.
	Holocaust denier.
	Hated Jews.
	Said they controlled the media.
	I think Dr. Zeus had some controversial opinions about Jews.
	I don't know.
	I don't think anyone's going to do anything that will inconvenience them.
	But that being said, if you're a white male, healthy, Catholic MAGA guy, you can do no right.
	You bounce a baby on your leg and say, we have an integrated living room.
	People cannot even describe how horrified they are.
	We are responsible for 150% of what we do.
	They are responsible for 20% of what they do.
	It is a disaster.
	Hey guys, got to check this out.
	A lady is driving past a pro-Trump rally, flipping off the participants, and is eventually confronted by her worst fear.
	The Nazis are real.
	She has a fit of hysteria when they start speaking to her.
	Happens at the four mark.
	Oh, hey, look at my white supremacist grand up there.
	What's the matter, Mark?
	Are you kidding me right now?
	This is a white supremacist right here, ma'am.
	Aw, you're the little baby.
	Are you kidding me?
	Oh, babe, look at this.
	You're a terrible one.
	Harassing.
	Woo-hoo!
	I'm in your setback, ma'am.
	Hey, it's parents!
	The internet is real!
	Like, she would be amazing in bed.
	But she's not mentally all there.
	She'd be amazing sleeping in a bed.
	What is she looking at?
	She's FaceTiming.
	She said, hey, babe, what do you know?
	Is that guy with her or against her?
	I don't know, because she seemed to have scared him at first.
	Her.
	What is she doing?
	Calling 911?
	What is your badge?
	What do you need?
	He shot the police, but call them when you need your help.
	Call the police when you need help, but defund them.
	Call the police when you need help, but defund them.
	I say, God, please.
	I want them defunded.
	Fuck the police.
	We've been calling them.
	I'm driven by a 50-year-old.
	Look at that.
	She's giving them all a finger and then they they confront she has a complete meltdown.
	Oh, yeah.
	Oh, yeah.
	I have brothers.
	Hey, all these people that live are...
	She's literally hyperventilating.
	Get off my property?
	I think she said that when he touched her car.
	This man doesn't even care about any of his mistakes.
	This man doesn't care about anyone.
	Oh, shit.
	Turn around.
	Put your hands behind your body.
	Guilty.
	Guilty discharge.
	Especially when it comes to you.
	Back on her phone.
	I bet it comes out in three seconds.
	Good about that.
	31,000.
	31,000.
	41,000.
	51,000.
	She's on a no-phone marathon.
	Wow.
	10.
	That's why she can't breathe so much.
	It's weird how she's got a sexy top that shows off her midriff.
	empowering.
	She's causing a scene and she expects nobody to do anything or say anything.
	What does she want the cop to do?
	Just start arresting everyone who's wearing a magazine?
	They're supporting the president of the United States.
	President of the United States.
	That's always about half the country.
	What's in your car?
	a gun.
	What's she got now?
	Keys?
	Little stupid sandals?
	I'm not attracted to her anymore since I saw the sandals.
	Grow up!
	Yeah, that's a great point.
	So what's she doing now?
	Sitting on a bench giving everyone a finger.
	She's explaining it to someone else.
	You'll never believe what happened.
	She's got to be in the middle of the moment.
	Nothing.
	Well, now we have to see what happens next.
	You jerk.
	way over the line Wait, they said stay tuned.
	Another re-showing the fucking same shit.
	I hate when people do this.
	It's just a waste of time.
	What's happening here?
	Now cops is consoling her like a like a therapist.
	Well, she is clearly out of her mind.
	Alright, thanks a lot, jerk.
	Hey, go see who that user is.
	Don't say stay tuned and then show me a bunch of barf.
	Let me see that user.
	The common sense conservative actually does pretty well.
	Wait, is that the black dude from New York?
	Robert Ziffering?
	Robert, don't tell us to stay tuned and not have a slam dunk available immediately after.
	Alright, well, I didn't know.
	We'll see later on in the clip.
	Alright, Robert.
	Alright, we're done.
	But before we go, we always show a video.
	And this is called Flying Bikini.
	It's number 2-4.
	Fucking 2-fucking 2-4.
	A lot of F-words on this show.
	Sorry, elderly ladies and southerners.
	I know how you hate that.
	So, um, you have to understand when you're coming up with a plan, you have to determine vectors.
	There's this.
	There's that.
	They have to add together perfectly to achieve what you want.
	And if you're a lady, I am dubious.
	Well, I obviously have hindsights 20-20.
	I've already seen this, but check it out.
	Oh, my God.
	Oh, my God.
	So she's laughing.
	wow Oh, my God.
	Can we see that frame by frame?
	I'd like to.
	Is that possible?
	You can just like pause, pause, pause, pause, pause.
	Hit it!
	Okay, so luckily her head goes down.
	It looks like it dents.
	She's definitely going to have a black bruise on her hips and her shins.
	But thank God, her head got out of the way.
	And there's probably a bit of give on that plastic pool.
	Her head wasn't involved in any part of this.
	She's got a lot of sex appeal.
	Oh, my God.
	She really did not pussy out.
	I think she was drunk.
	That's probably why she's okay.
	Yeah.
	Squeak Hit it!
	Squeak Squeak Squeak
	Such confidence on that land.
	Jump off roofs.
	Hit trampolines.
	Learn American history.
	Just a dumb version.
	I don't know shit.
	And I Know more than most Americans.
	Get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.

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