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April 24, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
29:38
GOML LIVE #44 | COCTEAU TWINS

After a feminist intro to Nikki Glaser and Scottish legends the Cocteau Twins, we dive deep into the mailbag and try to take a bit out of this endless cake of content.

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Hey guys, this is a clip from censored.tv.
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New stuff every day.
Okay, now to the clip.
That's the problem with you.
When you fuck up, your first instinct is, I didn't fuck up.
It wasn't the head of the business.
Like, your first instinct should be, what?
Really?
What's happening?
Well, I'm sorry.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't care about that.
It's a dumb detail.
It was just the song was playing itself twice.
But what I'm more concerned with is your development as a human being.
And you can't evolve as a human being and improve if your first instinct is consistently, no, no, I'm good.
I'm good.
Like, your pants are on fire.
No, no, no, that's just, I'm just wearing like red pants that are really bright.
Oh, shit, they are on fire.
Oh.
Like, your legs are going to burn.
That's one second I could have been extinguishing the pants.
Exactly.
Right.
Extinguish the pants.
Shit tits.
Hey.
Welcome to get off my lawn.
The free half hour that's on YouTube.
Probably the worst of the show of the week is what's made free, which isn't a great advertisement.
This should be the peak.
What you see here for free should be a commercial.
Oh, I just barfed.
Advertising the show.
But there's so many restrictions here on YouTube.
I am hanging by a human pube.
Do animals have pubes?
I think their whole body's pubes.
Animals are pubes.
Isn't fur just pubes?
Do animals have pubes?
Like, does a gorilla have pubes?
Can you go Google a gorilla's dick?
Why don't you go Google a gorilla's dick?
Can we go through this?
This is not wasting my time.
You should be fucking at home Googling a gorilla's dick.
The contemporary Fonzie.
You have a job?
What do you do at your job?
Google a gorilla's dick?
Is that your fucking job?
Actually, it is my job.
Gavin told me to Google a gorilla's dick.
Yes, I get paid for this.
I bet you they don't have pubes.
I bet it's like the same belly hair just going down.
No shit for brains.
Don't look up the goddamn question.
By definition, yes.
If there's hair around the pubis.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We all know what pubes are.
Go to images.
Go gorilla genitalia images.
Why do I have to do this?
Damn it.
DuckDuckGo comes up with zero for gorilla penis.
That's weird.
I'm going to Google.
Sorry.
We like DuckDuckGo.
We like Brave.
But we like Gorilla.
I got to admit, sometimes there's some weird shit there.
Before we get started with the show, we should focus on Red Pill Living.
That's probably not the best example of it.
These odd times have everyone worrying about their immunity.
Stop worrying and do what I do.
Go to redpellpilliving.com.
Buy some red pill and boost your immune system.
www.
which I don't think we have to do in this day and age, redpillliving.com.
Use promo code Gavin.
Get 15% off all orders.
Get red pill and feel great and feel great.
Redpillliving.com, promo code Gavin, 15% off all orders.
The coffee show is coming in May.
Thanks, COVID, for postponing my coffee show.
Support Patriot-owned businesses.
So this is a site that has your CBD, your tincture, all this other stuff.
But they also have a huge array of coffee varieties and they break it down per country.
So what we want to do, why don't you show the site, Ryan?
What we want to do is go through each country's coffee and do like a taste test.
Because I have an espresso at home and I got to say, I'm not that thrilled with it.
It seems a little acrid.
What, are they done with coffee?
They probably have shipment problems due to everything is topsy-turvy.
Topsy-turvy.
Not making cafe.
Not making guffe over at Red Bela Bang.
Anyway, let's see a gorilla's balls.
All right.
Let me take a look at the sponsors.
Probably one of the best hardcore bands in New York was Gorilla Balls.
Yeah, that's not pubes.
Didn't we go over this meme the other day?
No.
Well, animals don't have pubes.
Pubes are a different type.
I'm just defining pubes right now for the first time ever.
Pubes have to be a different type of hair than your normal hair.
Now, I have relatively straight hair.
It actually gets to be kind of dewy.
So I keep it back with a product called Razak, which is like industrial brill cream, which is for African-American women.
I use it on my hair, and it makes it less wavy.
But my hair is normal.
Ryan's hair is relatively normal.
Actually, do you have curly pubes?
They're not super curly.
Really?
You see that?
Yeah, shut the fuck up about your...
No, I put a thing on it.
What's on it?
A star?
Yeah.
It's a little bit.
That looks way better.
That looks way less disgusting.
It's supposed to be disappointing.
Because I know from being with Asian women, their pubes tend to be like a little punk rocker down there.
Yeah, it's not.
Do you have straight pubic hair?
No, it's more grungy.
What do you mean?
Like frizzy and dyed blue.
Tell us the truth, Ryan.
Let me see.
Are you checking?
You haven't seen it in a while?
That's not really straight or kinky.
My pubic hair is like most people's pubic hair.
It's Africa.
It's Dunzo Washington's hair.
Dunzo.
It's Dunzo Washington.
I thought I'd bring this over to the show.
This is my bar bag.
You know how during prohibition you would say a secret password?
This is how I go to my bars now.
I have abandoned the quarantine.
I have given up on, I don't wear a fucking mask.
I get a lot of bad looks, especially in my neighborhood.
I say my body, my choice, when they stare at me.
If they don't stare at me, I just go, bah.
Like a sheep.
They wear masks in their car with the windows up and then they wear gloves.
Are you scared of giving it to yourself?
Anyway, I know people who own bars and we want to party.
So what I do is I put this in my trunk when I go to the city and the few bars I know where I know the owner, I go in and I just plop that on the shelf.
And I've noticed, by the way, because looky loose, ladies will peer in the window.
And I've noticed this is a better write-off than this.
I don't think they know what a hammer is.
So you go like this and you have that in one hand, your beer in the other hand, right?
And then if they get near the door, you go and the light helps.
They see the light and they're just like, oh, it's a contractor.
You son of a bitch.
It makes them less tattletae-y, but they do love to tattle.
God, they can't wait.
The cops have been around my friends' bars.
$20,000 fine.
I think a lot of women are enjoying this quarantine.
It has been a boon for the nosy, busybody tattletale community.
And isn't it bizarre?
I know we don't like talking about this on the show.
We don't talk about coronavirus on the show.
Chinkinpox.
But isn't it bizarre that a pandemic is political?
Like if you want to get back to work, you're Republican.
You're conservative.
You're pro-Trump.
If you want the quarantine to go longer, you're liberal.
It's a biological medical question.
How does it have a political affiliation?
And then I thought, okay, what about if there was unprecedented thunderstorms?
Like for the past month, it's thunderstormed every day, right?
We've never heard of that before.
It's like monsoon in North America.
What if that happened?
Could that be politicized?
And I bet it would.
I bet it would be blue-collar dudes, Trump dudes saying, let's just get back to work.
We'll put on a raincoat.
And then the left saying, this is Trump not paying attention to global warming and not supporting the EPA enough.
I think everything has become political.
What if no one bought watches anymore?
I just saw my own watch on the monitor.
Yeah, Trump has made us give up on the next four years.
People no longer care what time it is.
Liberals don't buy watches.
Republicans buy watches.
It is a disaster.
It's become sports.
I want the Yankees to fail.
And that's true, by the way.
When I say politics has become sports, I'm insulting politics because sports is bad.
I'm not proud of myself.
I'm not proud that I want the Yankees to suffer.
You know how Bill Maher said he wanted the economy to be doing bad because it would be bad for Trump?
That's how I feel about the Yankees.
Remember there was that plane crash that killed like an entire soccer team?
If that happened with the Yankees, I would cheer.
I'm un-Christian when it comes to them.
We have a fun show for you today.
We're not going to go over the past week because people pay money for this show and to regurgitate things they've already eaten is a waste of time.
But this is the half an hour we get to talk to you in front of the paywall.
I thought we had a pretty fun show.
We went through that dick meme, the black dick guy, and we rated 20 of those memes, decided which one was best.
We also had Joe, what's his name?
Ganischioli?
Ganascoli, yeah.
Ganiscoli on the show.
He was veto, fat veto, gay veto on Sopranos.
And we got him because we were obsessed with that scene in The Sopranos.
We've been re-watching it, where he catches, they catch him at the, don't show it, YouTube will shut us down.
You're right.
They catch him at the gay bar and he goes, guys, they go, what the fuck?
Vito, what are you doing?
And he goes, hey, guys, I'm just, I'm here.
Yeah, I'm here.
I'm just here.
Which is not a great excuse.
And then, and then they go, what the fuck are you doing, you a fag?
And he goes, it's a joke.
It's a joke.
And he's got all the gear.
Like, it's the most elaborate joke on earth.
He's got the hat.
Where were you guys?
I've been waiting this whole time.
Finally, you're here.
I feel like an asshole.
Fucking fags off.
I finally take this off after I fucking.
God damn it.
I can relax.
But I did get jealous watching the video and I got jealous of gays because it looks fun.
It looks so fun to go to a leather bar.
Like, say you go to a leather bar with women everywhere.
And slutty woman would have like a leather thing.
And then you walk up with your leather shit on and you grab the hot chick in between her tits and just go, can I buy you a drink?
And she's like, sure, I'm a dumb slut.
You're like, all right.
Gays really have it great, don't they?
I feel like they just go home with each other so quickly that the place would empty out in like two hours.
Like the party would end at nine.
No, then they come back.
Like they fuck.
That's how they got AIDS.
They fuck everything that moves.
My wife worked in fashion for many years.
And she would work with these gay dudes that were like, I'm actually getting super horny.
Oh, okay.
Well, I hope you're okay.
And they go, actually, I'm going to go get a fucking blowjob.
They would get up and just wander around Soho, meet someone.
This isn't at a gay bar.
This isn't even in a gay neighborhood.
Soho isn't necessarily gay.
It's not Chelsea or the West Village.
And they would just go meet someone.
They do their little look.
That's like a secret handshake.
He'd go get a beach and then just be back to work.
Like, anyway, what are we doing now?
We're setting up for the party on Thursday.
Sounds good to me.
I felt worthless.
I felt ugly.
I felt gay.
You are worthless, ugly, and gay in the negative sense.
You got this fucking outfit.
Oh, we had Zubi on the show.
We interviewed Zubi today in a pre-interview that will show on Monday or stuff.
Great guy.
Interesting guy.
His dad is Nigerian.
He's a doctor and he lived in Saudi Arabia for 20 years.
Here's the deal, as far as Earth goes.
If you come from a hellhole like Africa, and then you live in an oven like Saudi Arabia as a doctor saving lives, you're good now for life.
You can eat babies.
I don't care what here's a bazooka.
You can do whatever you want.
You have infinite cars.
Like, Zubi and his father, go ahead.
You can use a helicopter to get to work.
I said that as a joke, but that's what killed Kobe, right?
Yeah.
He said, traffic is a bitch.
I want to just take a helicopter.
The guy died of hating traffic at the end of the day.
Anyway, we haven't aired it yet.
We'll air it next week.
But here's a little salty taste.
The north of Nigeria would be far more dangerous, for example.
If someone was gay in Nigeria, would someone talking to them say, why are you gay?
Oh, like the Ugandan interviewer.
You are gay.
That was the best interview in the world.
I am not gay.
Why is the African accent so fun to do?
And why are you beating him?
Confusion of the highest order.
That was the best line in that whole thing.
Who is going to pay for it?
If you hang out with that boy, he's going to stab you and you will die.
And we have a funeral.
And who is going to pay for it?
Is that how your dad talks?
Sorry?
Is that how your dad talks?
Does he have that accent?
My dad does not talk like that.
No.
Well, I can't even remember.
I can't remember what the question was.
Zubi, why are you talking to a hitman?
And it went on like that.
By the way, have you noticed my shirt is, And you can't show this because we're in on YouTube, thin ice, but uh, Robert De Niro in Cape Fear.
Ah, ah, oh, is that like a prop?
Or like you got one that looked just like it, yeah.
Like when you like, is that meant to be from Cape Fear?
Yeah, oh, okay, where do you get stuff like that?
You google Robert De Niro's shirt in Cape Fear, it will come up with an ad, and you click on it and give them your credit card.
There it is.
Wow, I think it's also the wallpaper in uh Scarface, which is weird.
Is that on purpose?
Who knows?
Is one shouting the other out?
All right, there we go.
Wow, it's like an exact replica.
Now, our next sponsor is we're now that we're at 15 minutes in, is Heshy Socks.
Oh, yeah, there's a commercial for that.
You made a commercial for Heshy Socks, I did, and I don't think it'd be fair if I didn't make one for the other one.
So, I guess those are coming.
Should we hit it?
Yep, are you tired of looking through your sock collection and realizing all your socks are shitty and stinky?
Well, fret no more because Heshy Socks are functional and fashionable, and for a limited time only, you can step into these bad boys for 20% off using promo code Gavin.
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Thanks, Heshy Socks.
It's the worst commercial I've ever seen.
The audio is coming through really good here, but yeah, you're right.
No, I heard the music, but weren't you supposed to say, Don't you hate when you're going through?
Was that in it?
Yeah, it's in the headphones only.
Isn't that weird?
No, I don't need to hear it now.
Yeah, I swear.
So, there's narration saying, Don't you hate when your socks are all and did you say poopy?
No, I said shitty.
Okay, because we're risking edge.
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That implies intercourse.
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That's Heshisocks.com, promo code Gavin.
And by the way, behind the paywall, which happens in about 10 minutes, I'm giving away two pairs of Heshi Socks to Collar One and Two.
Other major giveaways going too.
Um, by the way, before we started this show, we were kind of on a feminist uh bend, feminist tangent.
We were watching Nikki Glazer roast people and appear on Conan.
And though we say women aren't funny, we're obviously not retards and we're aware of exceptions.
And Nikki Glazer is an exception, she's especially good at the roasts.
You can tell she wrote the jokes herself.
High-quality human, really sad that she's not married.
I hate hearing her jokes about being skull fucked and being a useless slut that uh nobody wants anymore.
That's pathetic.
And we were also listening to the Cocteau Twins, where I think that their song Pearly Dewdrops is just based on phonetics.
I don't think that song means anything.
Pearly, pearly, pearly, poorly, lacky, likey, dewdrops, too.
Scottish band.
Can we dare play that?
That's probably going to be the worst hit of all.
Like, if we played Sopranos, they might not be able to find that as hard as easy as a song.
Oh, come on.
Just play it.
Okay.
Okay.
So what is it called?
Pearly Dewdrops.
Pearly Dewdrops.
It's weird because I'm saying we would have made that our intro song, but we don't want to get a ding.
But here I am playing it anyway.
But I don't think any other band has done this where they just made the words an instrument.
She has no interest in conveying any information.
By the way, when you subscribe to Sensor.TV, we go through the opening song and discuss it and compare it to other songs and have a gay old time.
There's a lot of music on our show.
What is she out of 10?
Five?
Oh, she's Glaswegian.
Here we go.
Are you trying to fade it in and out so they won't catch us?
No, see, so I can hear you talk.
Here we go.
That's it.
God, Scottish people are so intelligent.
That wasn't, that didn't mean anything.
The pearly, pearly, pearly, pearly jew dups.
Lucky, lucky, lucky.
She's just making sounds.
It's like an onomatopoeia type of thing.
Anyway, that's two wonderful women we have showcased on the show before we got to the show, Nikki Glazer and the chick who sings for Cocteau Twins.
Let's dive into the news.
No, before we get to the news, my parents are losing their fucking minds.
And they are calling me incessantly with conspiracy theories.
But it's weird because my parents are anti-conspiracy theory.
So they'll tell you something that sounds like a smoking gun and you'll go, oh, so 9-11 was an inside job.
And they'll go, oh, for fuck's sakes, I had hoped you had a higher IQ than that.
Pathetic, my boy.
Anyway, here's a typical example.
They get involved in everything.
Waco, my mom's obsessed with Waco.
You see what's going on with Waco, by the way?
Like, how'd they have to burn it down?
And Hillary Clinton was involved.
You hard of this woman, Charlene Lam.
And they'll send me links like of Charlene Lamb, but it'll be the Wikipedia homepage.
And you're like, mom, you sent me the homepage of Wikipedia.
I need this specific page you were on.
So then they end up like copying and pasting the text and then putting that in an email because they can't figure out how to send a fucking URL.
Hey, mom and dad, I know you watch the show.
Go to the top bar.
Clickety click it like crazy until it's all blue.
Then say copy.
Now put that in an email.
How long have we had the internet for?
Anyway, they're sending me all this fucking crap.
Hundreds and hundreds of piles of basically breakfast cereal.
And I have to sort through all these fruit loops for something.
And I'm going through it going, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
And they'll go back, by the way, to World War I and stuff.
So there'll be some coup in France in 1912 I'm supposed to give a shit about.
But as I'm sifting through this crap, just like in Animal House where they find the carbon copy for the test, remember when D-Day and Pluto are trying to find the fake test and eventually they come out of the dumpster and they go, we got it.
By the way, it was planted there by their enemies.
It's not the actual carbon copy.
There you go.
But I had kind of a moment where he sent me this shit and I was like, hey, stupid old man, stop sending me your garbage.
And then I sort of went, actually, this is this is kind of something.
I didn't know about this, but have you ever heard of Schaefer?
What's his name?
Lieutenant Colonel Anthony Shaffer.
This is 1-4.
So this is a guy who worked for a company called, well, he worked for the Defense Intelligence Agency, which is essentially a division of the CIA.
And his group was called the Able Danger, whatever, Agency Commission Group Project.
And they were researching terrorism in 2000.
In 2000, they discovered a guy named Mohammed Atta who looked like he might get up to some mischief soon.
He might get up to some trouble.
And here is my dad's cut and pasted Wikipedia thing where he says, according to his later statement in Congress, October 2003, Schaefer told the 9-11 Commission that Staff Director Philip D. Zikow that in 2000, a DIA data mining program known as Able Danger had uncovered two of the three terrorist cells which the FBI determined committed 9-11.
Schaefer reportedly told Zelikow that DIA leadership declined to share his information with the FBI because military lawyers expressed concerns about the legality of doing so.
This is when your crazy parents that send you garbage all day become pretty good researchers.
Maybe all of you 9-11 conspiracists have heard of this before.
This is the first time I've come across this guy, Lieutenant Colonel Anthony Shaffer.
He predicted 9-11 and he identified two of the three cells involved in the attack, including one of the fucking pilots, Muhammad Atta.
And the FBI said, no, no, we're not doing this.
Now, here's the craziest part.
Schaffer published memoirs of his time as a reports officer in Afghanistan in a book titled Operation Dark Heart.
Schaffer claims that the Defense Department attempted to preserve secrecy of revelations made by the book by buying up and destroying all 10,000 copies of the book's first uncensored run before allowing for the release of a second heavily censored printing.
Not bad, you bald asshole who looks like a turtle with AIDS.
So that's my two cents for this show.
I want to catch up on the mail.
We have an unprecedented number of letters because people are sitting on their asses and we get like maybe 200 a day.
Don't worry, we're not getting there quite yet.
We get 200 a day and I only answer three a show.
So I'm hoping to sort of shovel our way out of this mess from 9.30 to 10 and then we'll take calls at 10.
We're going to cut you freebies off.
By the way, Heshy Sox sent me like three pairs and they sent Milo about 20 pairs.
Ouch.
The fuck does that mean?
Sounds like they sent you 20 and sent him two.
Sounds like he's better for their brand.
That hurts.
And if you like Milo more than me and you think he's more dapper, maybe you should take that as a good sign.
All right, so let's begin to go behind the paywall.
We've done Red Pill Living.
We've done Heffy.
Let's go back to our favorite sponsor, Johnny Apple CBD.
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They just introduced a strawberry tincture and a vanilla tincture, which are en route to the studio.
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That's Jacbd.com, and use promo code gavin.
By the way, to the guy who writes this copy, you don't have to write www dot.
We haven't said that as a culture since 1996, maybe?
Um yes, so thank you Jacbd.com, for promoting this show, for sponsoring this show.
You were one of the first, you're one of the steadiest.
We like you more than a friend.
All right, we're now going to drift behind the paywall, we're going to answer some mail and um, we're also going to do a heshy socks giveaway.
uh should they do any three things maybe get fired oh yeah uh get fired get in trouble be brave and never stop fighting so again that was from censored.tv New content every day, 10 bucks a month.
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We got Laura Loomer, Milo Yiannopoulos, Copper Cap, Soap, Joe Biggs, John Miranda.
We got conversations with Candace Owens, Cornell West, and Coulter, Roger Stone.
The list goes on and on.
We have live shows where we call in, we read your letters.
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