Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes - S02E141 - FROM THE BUNKER： CHARLIE'S ANGELS [2020-03-24 - S02E141 - FROM THE BUNKER： CHARLIE'S ANGELS]

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March 24, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes

02:28:58

S02E141 - FROM THE BUNKER： CHARLIE'S ANGELS [2020-03-24 - S02E141 - FROM THE BUNKER： CHARLIE'S ANGELS]

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	You come alone?
	Yeah.
	Peekaboo's brought the whiskey and booze.
	Well, I don't drink whiskey for Lent, but I may make an exception.
	Did you wash your legs?
	I didn't.
	You have to wash your legs behind your ears.
	You have to put your socks in the dryer, even if they're not dirty.
	I'll just take the whiskey with me and I'll come back.
	Alright, alright.
	Oh.
	We're good?
	Tonight, let's watch Charlie's Angels.
	I was thinking the hunt.
	I was thinking Cats, the butthole cut.
	But what would you rather watch?
	Cut buttholes or Charlie's Angels?
	Come on.
	Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Devin McKinnis.
	you Watching old Mets games there?
	Nostalgia?
	These are special Budweisers.
	Okay.
	So there's a trick to it.
	These are the Budweiser Nitro Reserve Gold.
	Extra smooth golden lager.
	So there's instructions on this.
	Slip can three times.
	One, two, three.
	Open and pour hard, fucking mighty.
	Yeah.
	Pour hard fucking givers.
	Pour it hard.
	Why'd you choose the Mayor of McMayor McChees glass?
	There was, it was not a lot of selection.
	Look at that head.
	Frothy head.
	Whoa.
	My nickname in high school.
	I haven't seen this much head since before I got married.
	Alright.
	This head is an asset, is it?
	Yeah.
	Isn't that nice?
	Yeah, I can't wait to have a calm-drenched mustache.
	Cheers.
	Cheers.
	To the apocalypse.
	Pretty good, huh?
	Yeah, it's a very creamy bud.
	Should we remove the table for the viewing pleasure?
	Yes.
	Okay.
	So I'm going to go ahead and hand you the beer.
	Okay.
	Thank you very much.
	You are welcome.
	Civilized.
	Sorry, table.
	Let's try to dispose that.
	And I was looking this up earlier, and I didn't get very far, but I noticed this movie was such a flop that when you search it, wait till you see what comes up before Charlie's Angels.
	Now, the budget was, we'll have to look up the budget in a sec, but I know it grossed, American Gross was $17 million.
	And her bitch is, well, look at this, CH, right?
	It's not even in any of the CHs.
	I think my mic might be messing the audio here.
	Sorry about that.
	Oh, yeah, a little lower would be nice.
	If you could pinch her lapel.
	Let's just do the lapel.
	It won't hit my chip.
	A little lower would be fine too.
	Okay, no, it's fine.
	Oh, it's good.
	That's good.
	And here it's one, two, three, four down.
	Right after Charmed, that corny TV series.
	It's pretty corny.
	Which you loved.
	I did not love it.
	What's your favorite character on Charmed?
	Page is a bitch.
	Anyway, yeah, so Charlie's Angels grossed $17 million, $17.5 or something.
	And her complaint was that's sexism.
	People will go to see a superhero movie with a chick in it, like Captain Marvel, but they won't go see a female action movie.
	Really?
	What about Charlie's Angels in 2000, which I believe grossed 220 million or something like that?
	It was banana.
	214.
	That's just in America.
	And you know why Charlie's Angels from 2000 grossed so much more than the new one?
	Because the new one was woke.
	Get woke, go broke.
	The first Charlie's Angels had a sense of humor about it.
	The one with Lucy Lou and Drew Barrymore, they were funny.
	This one was like, it's about girl power.
	Okay, so.
	Yeah, they were ditzy and fun, and they had energy.
	They had quirks about them individually.
	Yeah, these ones are all kick-ass.
	And they're so kick-ass, they don't have any personality.
	Like, the black one is a brilliant chemist, but also a badass warrior that could beat the shit out of you.
	So like if Jason Schwartzman was a nerd, and you just go, well, that's too many characters in one.
	You can't be everything.
	Very fucking attractive, though.
	Even the dyke.
	Fucking adractive.
	This is adractive.
	Just make sure mine's good.
	Let's adjust our bangs.
	Again, logos at the beginning of the movie.
	Sony wants you to know that they did a great job.
	Oh, I muted it.
	Is it muted?
	We just got to be careful with this thing.
	Actually, yeah, we can't touch that.
	Can't touch that.
	That's some chick on a mountaintop.
	I believe her name is Columbia.
	I'm led to believe that, too.
	Right?
	That must be her.
	She hangs out in the class.
	And now we'll see the same logos just written out.
	That's Jesus in Brazil.
	They've been depicting a lot of flags on him.
	Yeah.
	They project it with a light projector, right?
	So the first Charlie's Angel started with a crazy action scene at the beginning.
	Right out of the gate!
	Doesn't mean they should, right?
	I think about women fixing cars, driving a taxi, and installing some drywall.
	Why not?
	No.
	Look.
	Trust me, a girl like you.
	No one's saying it's impossible for women to do that.
	We've seen lesbians before.
	But a woman driving a taxi, they tend to be worse drivers.
	That's just a fact.
	It's true.
	And it's dangerous for them.
	Why are you so shy?
	I don't know.
	You're going to ruin this episode if you're all like sheepish.
	I'm under.
	I'm actually a feminist.
	Try to be more like the Asian from 16 Candles.
	I want more people to see you to hear a dung and for you to go, oh, I'm falling.
	Women are so stupid.
	There you go.
	They cannot do anything.
	That's going to make people smash the subscribe.
	Just give me the woman power now.
	And if you don't, then you're going to get fired and you'll have to look for a new job selling shit on e-bike.
	So women, out of all, we've all seen women do sheetrock.
	1% of them are female.
	First of all, sheetrock weighs a ton getting it up there.
	And it's a job that takes years of practice.
	Women, no.
	So women don't do drywall.
	Women don't drive taxis.
	Well, and repairing a car, yeah, I've seen a few lesbians do it.
	But it involves things like, here's the thing about being a mechanic.
	You have cuts in your fingers at all times, right?
	They fell with oil and dirt.
	You always had these busted up hands with cuts that are permanently open with dirt in them.
	Yeah, women love that.
	Hot take, maybe controversial.
	I don't think they make great waitresses either.
	I've been a bus boy plenty of times and they have no spatial awareness and they don't look behind them before they turn around.
	You know when you turn around, you maybe turn your head first?
	They just like turn around and start walking like immediately.
	They've turned around and now they're going forward.
	And I've had, there's been so many accidents on the restaurant floor due to women not knowing how to walk.
	You know how I turn around?
	I go, I'm about to turn around and God help the motherfucker who stands in my way.
	And then I whip around.
	Wow.
	Yeah.
	That's amazing.
	My head gets there first like an owl.
	So anyway, this guy's saying all these totally reasonable things that we all believe, I assume is some villain who's about to get the shit kicked out of him because you're supposed to hate him.
	If you're going to make a villain that deserves to have the shit kicked out of him, why don't you start with something like, women deserve to be raped?
	A lot of them like it.
	You know, they can come from being raped.
	Now you're like, hey, that guy's a jerk.
	Kick his ass.
	Right.
	I mean, I want all my options available so I can decide for myself.
	Yeah, it's legal for you to do drywall.
	Chinese misogynist.
	It's me.
	I love it.
	He loves it.
	Why is this guy a bad guy?
	Because he wants to feed her.
	We know they're not friends on a vacation.
	It would be on the beach and she'd be a goof and they'd be surfing.
	If it's exotic, like if it's fancy like this with bodyguards, he's got to die.
	No, I chose you to join me.
	I chose to make you notice me.
	Oh.
	That is not your choice to be like.
	That is God's gift to you.
	Is this supposed to be offensive sexism?
	But don't you think it's sort of what you do with those gifts?
	Gross shoes.
	God gifted me with beautiful feet, but it's that I use them to beat you off.
	That makes me empower.
	That's the kind of world I want to live in.
	She looked like the rabbit from Pet's Life.
	She really...
	Me making millions with you by my side.
	Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
	Is she supposed to be the stunner of the crew?
	Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
	So she's pissed at him for saying that women aren't good at certain things, and she's about to beat the shit out of him.
	That is brutal irony because that actress definitely couldn't beat the shit out of that actor.
	And she's had a stunt man and a martial arts expert work.
	I'm guessing, right?
	Oh, yeah, work with her for months and months and months to create this illusion of her about to beat the shit out of him.
	So she's like, oh, really?
	Woman can't do anything?
	Well, watch me pretend to beat the shit out of you after a man helped train me and you go, oh, oh, oh, with every punch.
	I'm not going to spoil it, but she does her own stunt.
	You go see, she's going to be on top of a really dangerous, precarious machine that fries through the air.
	It's a helicopter.
	Oh.
	So you've seen the beginning to this.
	I have.
	At my job.
	It's actually considered a huge advantage to be a woman.
	Yeah, I'm in a made-up female spy cabal.
	Don't use it as proof.
	That's like a Mickey Mouse going, oh yeah, you don't think mice can talk?
	Well, I happen to think different, my friend.
	I'm a mouse and I can talk, no problem.
	No, you're not a mouse.
	You're a drawing.
	You're 12 frames per second.
	Pretty much better.
	24, is it?
	Okay, probably.
	And my line of work, invisibility, and low expectations, they come in very handy.
	I don't like the music right off the boot.
	Me neither.
	And I don't like that he has Arab bodyguards and he's Asian.
	Uh, bodyguards?
	I don't want to have sex like this.
	Oh, oh my.
	I can't move a muscle!
	See, they're powerful and graceful.
	They can do upside-down shit.
	It takes men an additional seven seconds to perceive a woman as a threat compared to a man.
	So this is Elizabeth Banks, who wrote, produced, and directed this, cramming in everything Like when they write an article, they don't know how to edit.
	What the fuck is with you?
	Is your neck stiff or something?
	Is this chair not for you?
	I feel like I'm really far back, so I'm just...
	I can turn like this.
	In life, but in height.
	What do you mean?
	You can turn like this, but aren't I out of frame?
	I can't see.
	This is the most comfortable, but...
	Because otherwise I just have to do this and, like...
	You look like you're at a job interview, which I guess you are.
	Wait a minute.
	So I've noticed when women write articles, they'll have to just, it'll be 5,000 words and they'll cram in all their research.
	And Elizabeth Banks has clearly done this with this movie where she finds out men take seven seconds longer to recognize if a woman is a danger.
	Which, by the way, you just admitted that women are different than men.
	And that's probably based on like them being weaker and more vulnerable.
	So they have to be like, is this guy a threat?
	Better different.
	I think this is their point.
	Oh, okay.
	Well, that's not what he, that's kind of what he was saying.
	Like, he was saying, we do good drywall.
	That's not magical.
	You guys can create life.
	Right.
	So his argument wasn't necessarily not better different.
	But yeah, women are weaker, so they have to perceive threats better.
	If they weren't weaker, this wouldn't be an exciting premise.
	This wouldn't be a ridiculous fantasy action movie.
	Like, this wouldn't be less realistic than Harry Potter.
	I actually have seen this part.
	I was lying.
	And what's amazing about this is that one of the Arab bodyguards comes over and just goes, and shoots her in the head, and she's dead.
	And he goes, that was a close one, boss.
	And then the credits just screwed up.
	And then he was like, no, that wasn't.
	No, she was fencing around.
	She weighs like 30 pounds.
	I was just about to throw her off the balcony myself.
	We had to tie cement brick to her legs so the wind didn't take her off the balcony.
	Why are you coming to me?
	Just the decoy stay.
	Ugh, they couldn't take that again?
	Are you just the decoy stud?
	Okay, so I get it.
	The black girl is Rhonda Rousey.
	She's the toughest woman in the world.
	Yes.
	Gotcha.
	But also equally as tough as Kristen Stewart.
	You stole aid money from women and children.
	This is written by a baby.
	Aid money from women and children.
	This is the National Women and Children Fund.
	Oh, she's so bored.
	So sick of kicking the shit out of dudes all day.
	I'm just a white man.
	I can say.
	Oh, baby, baby.
	You slept right.
	I'm your girlfriend now.
	Her in the moment.
	Dialogue really sucks.
	I'm a white man.
	Oh, it's a good white man.
	Doesn't he look like Predator?
	Or no, Alien?
	He looks like an albino alien from the movie Alien.
	You know the ones that come out of your stomach?
	He looks like a melted version.
	Oh, that type, yes.
	Not the full-grown alien, but I can see the baby.
	He still loves her.
	How boring.
	Wait a minute.
	Is Patrick Stewart a midget?
	Look at that black chick tower over him.
	I think he's a human-sized.
	He looks like a penis.
	Like an unhealthy one.
	Who's this other?
	Who are the other chicks with the big wigs?
	The nun wigs.
	I mean, the nunhoods.
	That's a good look.
	She's like the fun crazy type.
	Look how bored they all are.
	That was fun.
	So, who did I?
	You are in the presence of angels.
	You were in the presence of angels.
	Who are you?
	He's just one big wrinkle.
	As far as how do you cringily stand on the helicopter?
	How do you make Ryan Rivera look like a good After Effects editor?
	No, I don't mean you.
	Oh, like.
	I look like I blend into this, though.
	No, I mean that quality was right out of one of our intros.
	That was like the intro to Loomer.
	Actually, I put more efforts.
	The intro to Biggs is.
	Yeah.
	I put more effort into the pigs intro than what they put into this helicopter shit.
	It looks...
	looks like a magazine article.
	You know what I mean?
	Yeah.
	They do bad Photoshop.
	It looks like Cinema 4D, like somebody's first try.
	Look at that.
	Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
	Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
	Wait a minute.
	Once again, women in physics.
	So she had a grappling thing, whatever.
	She climbed her stuff.
	She fell down.
	That's a vertical line down.
	But is it hooked to the helicopter?
	No.
	She would have gone down another 50 feet below the helicopter and smashed her head on the top of the next building.
	Or whatever.
	Yes.
	So if it's grappling equipment, whatever, that goes down, then how do you get onto a helicopter without having it chop your blades?
	Exactly.
	I mean, the blades couldn't get real close.
	Maybe she rappelled off the wall.
	This is guy thing.
	And did a major stunt that we missed out on.
	Hey, can we see the stunt?
	And then she would.
	Where she goes from grappling to the helicopter?
	She would have to unhook her Swiss seat and then just free Swiss seat?
	Yeah.
	It's a Swiss seat.
	Yeah, I did rappelling in ROTC.
	The Swiss seat is the one that you do with the ropes.
	Now that, that might have a different name, like a harness.
	But the Swiss seat, it's a rope.
	How did she get the harness off, or the ropes connected to the harness, and then get onto a helicopter?
	That quick.
	That stunt would be the kind of a stunt in a movie like, you know when they have movies where there's like a car who goes like, no!
	And then it smashes in the helicopter in midair?
	That's a conclusion.
	It goes like from one parking garage, over the road, into the other parking garage, and you're like, that's the biggest stunt I've ever seen.
	This is what she just did.
	And we didn't get to see it.
	And we didn't get to see it.
	It just was like, you know how it is?
	When you fall off a balcony and you land on a, perfectly on the edge of a helicopter?
	And you didn't do this to the building?
	And then your hair is slightly tussled like it's on a mildly windy day in Seattle.
	Meanwhile, you're under fucking helicopter blades.
	Wow, that is a low point.
	Girls!
	Look, they can be ballerinas or guitarists or all right.
	Stop.
	This is all stop.
	stock footage.
	This is bought from like Getty Images.
	I think I saw a Shuttershock watermark.
	They ran out of money at the end.
	They go, well, we're almost done.
	We just need the 80 bucks for the shutter shock to remove that watermark.
	Credit to Phil's drones on YouTube on the bottom right.
	Can't you just blow it up so the shutter shock watermark is pushed out?
	I guess, but it's going to look totally.
	Look at the lighting.
	It's all different.
	You could send someone around.
	Or they could have all been wearing red.
	You know what I mean?
	Or a vignette.
	Like a color that unifies all of them.
	I've dealt with different footage before.
	You have to make it look uniform.
	I should have had Ryan the retard on this movie to put him away.
	Look at the oh, it's in the wrap.
	You can beat yourself.
	You can do drive wall.
	You can fucking use a glass too and lift weights and surf.
	I'm trying to see.
	You can be in a kayak for fuck's sakes.
	I guess the white balance and the fucking.
	You can ride a bike in Paris.
	Did girls even know that?
	Look at that logo, though.
	This is what else I noticed.
	Hamburg.
	Just watching the preview for this movie, you'll see their logo just everywhere.
	Uh-oh.
	The Rubik's Cube.
	Um, by the way, a scam a lot of people do to save money is, um...
	You're supposed to do a hard pour.
	I did.
	What were you just doing?
	I just filled another one.
	Oh, it was a nitro.
	No, it was in a nitro.
	Oh, she stole one of my beers.
	Is that okay?
	I mean, I gave you a beer.
	Wait, you poured civilian beer into nitro beer?
	No, I finished the nitro beer, then poured the I topped myself off.
	Well, topping yourself off in my mouth.
	Would be that there's beer in there.
	Okay, gotcha.
	No, but what they do is Europe has all these great grants.
	Canada does it too, where if you spend a million on a movie, they'll put in a million.
	So now you have a $2 million movie.
	They double you down.
	They match you.
	They match you.
	So that's why it's in Paris.
	They give you another million to spend.
	So now you spent $2 million, even though a million was sort of a gift.
	Yeah, that has to be spent there.
	Gotcha.
	Gotcha.
	So you spend $25 million on a movie, you got a $50 million movie.
	Damn.
	But the way to take advantage of it is to be all over Europe.
	So they'll be in Hamburg.
	So you get matched, matched, matched, matched.
	Like that Jason, is his name, Jason Schwartzman, my dream boat guy who's balding, who does the fighting?
	Jason Statham.
	Statham.
	Jason Statham.
	Jason Statham.
	So when he's the transporter, it's a perfect movie for a budget because he's driving through every country in Europe and he gets all the grants from all of them.
	They only match your original amount.
	If you put in 10 million, they'll put in 10 million.
	Wow.
	That's crazy.
	But there's probably a cap on it, though.
	So the way you get the advantages.
	They're not going to be in Hamburg for long, I guarantee.
	You were late.
	Mr. Flamme is waiting.
	Oh, I wasn't the meeting seven.
	I'm just a nerd.
	I'm just a gorgeous.
	I'm just a nine nerd.
	How many Americans are in Hamburg right now?
	How are your bangs?
	Okay.
	I might put the hair back.
	Let me guess.
	White male douche.
	I said, Mr. Brock, have you ever heard of Humphrey Davy?
	I don't like this guy's face at all.
	Have you ever heard of Joseph Swan?
	Alexander Ludian?
	No clue.
	So I say, okay.
	What about Thomas Edison?
	Of course.
	Who hasn't?
	He invented the light bulb, right?
	But guess what?
	So did those other three guys.
	Poor Edison.
	But Edison was first to market.
	Do you see my point?
	Yeah, I'm a white male.
	You're supposed to hate will.
	But we have to be posted.
	And that's what I told Mr. Block and the menu.
	This guy's evil.
	Like, he's so douchey, he's evil.
	Yeah.
	And he wants progress too fast without enough government regulations.
	And he's just like the oil companies.
	They don't care about the environment.
	They just care about energy and being first and being number one.
	And they're all about greed.
	The bottom line.
	That's the same thing with the hustlers.
	Those guys, we're against greed, and those guys are greedy.
	It's the same resentment.
	But greed, if you're benefiting society, is an asset.
	If you're against greed in a bad way, this should be about MS-13 or taking violently Aryan Brotherhood or the Mongols or some fucking gang, pagans.
	Not that I'm disrespecting any of those gangs.
	I think they're wonderful.
	And I would never do a movie criticizing them.
	I'm just saying, if you're looking for greed that is attached to sin, wouldn't crime be a better thing?
	Like that guy before, by the way, the Asian dude, no offense.
	He was robbing a charity that had women and children in it.
	And what did he get?
	She went like that to his face.
	And then they jumped off his balcony.
	Maybe he went to jail?
	Eventually, I guess that's not in the movie, though.
	So all we saw was the guy get some curtains, make him slap himself.
	That's a good question, though.
	Like, where in the legal system does this Charlie's Angels branch, is this part of the government?
	Are they like a rogue?
	I think they just present a Finnish case to the DA, and the DA is like, thanks for doing my work.
	You got this.
	Which is a good case against government, by the way.
	It's like this is an independent kind of thing.
	This pro-government movie is accidentally pro-privatization.
	I love how this conversation went.
	Well, technically, I haven't said anything.
	And don't listen to women.
	Okay, one other thing I have to say.
	I bet she's Hispanic somehow.
	And the other girl...
	And the other girl is supposed to be black.
	But have you noticed that in an effort to show you the whole spectrum of...
	Yeah.
	Like she eats out girls now that she's at the hottest point of her life.
	Let's see her do it when she's 45.
	But anyway, they chose the whitest looking and the most feminine.
	So the lesbian looks the least lesbian you've ever seen.
	Yeah, and I've never seen a black chick that looks like that.
	I've never seen a black chick that looks like that.
	And this Hispanic chick, she'd have to show you her passport for you to know she's Hispanic.
	She looks like an Indian.
	She was Jasmine in Aladdin.
	Oh, really?
	Yeah.
	She's hot.
	So I think right now there's a possibility for the hormones.
	I guess that is Latina, huh?
	And we both know how dangerous that could be.
	You know who Neil, the second engineer?
	He is actually still in hospital after a boring seizure.
	And he was only partially exploited.
	Idiots need to die.
	...is root access and some time to permanently fix the flaw in the blockchain so that it will stay safe.
	Can I agree with that?
	Gina?
	I agree with you.
	Well, she's not being assertive.
	We just simply disagree with you.
	Ask Mr. Brockard my report because I really do think I want to be crystal clear that a 21-year-old has invented a new form of energy.
	So now we have solar, wind power, coal, and a Rubik's Cube that she invented that emanates sound.
	And that's what we're doing.
	Oh, that's right.
	And you are telling us you're wrong.
	Nothing.
	I hate men.
	Look how patronizing they are.
	You're much too smart to keep pushing this forward, aren't you?
	Good.
	So what?
	Get out of my office.
	What was that?
	Is he being supportive?
	No, he's patronizing her.
	He's like, it's like a mockery.
	It's like a child.
	It's like a...
	The last kiss, the kiss of dad.
	He's like, I'm going to give you the last.
	I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse.
	Stop pushing this, or it'll be very bad.
	But the hand touch?
	The hand touch was like a warning, like, look, sweetheart.
	And then just like, oh, so it's either I get fired and possibly killed, or I let this Rubik's Cube go out and give coronavirus to everyone who won't.
	The latter.
	That's the safe one.
	I knew who Humphrey Davy was.
	That actress had no idea who Humphrey Davey was.
	Who is that for Davey?
	I don't know.
	You dropped something.
	Oh, no, that's not mine.
	Well, I don't litter, so it must be yours.
	Is that not just as patronizing as what he did?
	Yeah.
	She's holding her arm.
	-I think they're saying women are...
	No, she's the one who hooked her up with this card.
	I think this is the Charlie's Angels card.
	Oh!
	But she just grabbed her arm and the other guy put it on.
	She's actually good.
	Yes.
	Oh.
	Ew.
	Who's this?
	I hate his little shirt.
	That's Patrick Stewart in like a Lululemon shirt.
	A human.
	A human.
	Ew.
	He looks like a caliographer.
	All right, ladies, let's dance.
	And stretch and work and stretch and one, two, three, and one, two, three.
	He just needs a little fucking cloth headband and some fingerless ill.
	Hello.
	You ruined.
	You cost someone their life savings, Elizabeth Banks.
	I hope that's not only your last name, but a nickname as well.
	Oh, look, celebrities are all on the call.
	Multiculturalism.
	Aluku.
	Bonjour.
	Avidazen.
	So she directed this?
	And wrote it?
	Why is everyone standing in their Skype?
	Just like Hustlers, she wrote herself into one of the most important parts of the movie.
	Look, look, look!
	This is a thing that drives me nuts in movies.
	Shitty Photoshop.
	Oh, look, it's Lucy Liu and Cameron Diaz.
	From the one that made...
	From the one that made, what was it, $214 million?
	You're right.
	That is them.
	But the Photoshop is always so shit.
	Look at his overlit face.
	And you can see where they've cut out his face.
	It almost looks like he has clown makeup on.
	You can see where they cut out his face and put his face there.
	Look how bad that is!
	That is pretty bad.
	That is a shitty fucking podcast mural.
	That looks like a fan of Compound Media's work.
	Totally.
	That's Anthony Coumia Show email.
	They make a calendar.
	This is on Instagram.
	This is, what's his name?
	Mr. Dunlevy.
	Mr. Tranasium or something?
	Yes.
	Oh, fuck.
	It's not Doug Nelson.
	Mr. Naslin.
	Tirelli picks.
	Yeah, maybe there's another one too, though.
	Mr. Nasling.
	Nails in.
	None of us.
	Doug Nelson.
	I'm very touched.
	Not all white men are evil.
	At least that's not the way it seems.
	They don't seem evil at first.
	Have you seen this movie?
	I wear women's sweatshirts and have women's breasts.
	I call them my avocados.
	California.
	I would like Whoopi Goldberg to be in the next Charlie's scene.
	And here she is, balled with a goatee, playing this man here.
	Imagine anybody getting choked up at that scene.
	Do you think there's one human being in the world that did?
	Like even like some loser 14-year-old girl?
	When I watched Black Panther in the theater and he was dying, I was just like, what the fuck is this movie?
	And I brought my kids.
	That's why I went.
	But Two girls behind me were crying.
	Like, oh, two, they were there together.
	I can't fathom it.
	They're there together.
	So, one of them was crying, and then, you know, like when one person cries, usually the other person is just going, Are you serious?
	But for two girls to just be going, I couldn't imagine.
	So, yes, I bet you there is a couple, maybe out of the world, right?
	Out of the, how many people have seen this movie, like 200,000?
	Out of the 200,000 people have seen this movie, maybe a million.
	And it only grows 17 million?
	But by now, it may be a million.
	That means a million people spent $17.
	No.
	Yeah, maybe not.
	But anyway, because we have video and all this other shit.
	But I would say maybe seven people cried.
	That's not one straight man.
	I don't want to know that.
	That's bad.
	But I asked.
	I shouldn't have asked.
	For me, as Charlie said, time to make an exit stage last year.
	I almost cried during the lame party, by the way.
	It's your final retirement, and people can only be there by conference call phone and Skype.
	That seems a lot.
	There's no spread.
	Yeah, can I get some cheese?
	This woman writer has.
	Can I have one.
	We have a nicer spread.
	There's not one beverage in anybody's hand.
	Yay!
	For a mediocre conference call.
	Thank you, Charlie.
	Thank you, Charlie.
	You deserve it.
	Oh, wait, that's Charlie and he's Bosley.
	He's drinks.
	Oh, that's right.
	It's the day drinking.
	That's what I like the most.
	Oh, that's fun.
	Wait, who's Bosley?
	Yeah, he's Bosley.
	So he's the Fonz's dad in the season.
	He obviously doesn't use Bosley.
	And then the little camcorder, that little box they haven't updated since the 70s.
	Yeah, they've never seen Charlie, I guess.
	I think it's very vile.
	To rock around as rather than.
	Oh, round?
	Thank you.
	That's it.
	Please move.
	He's coming.
	Are we ready?
	Thank you.
	Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up.
	That's the only humor in the entire movie, by the way.
	Alexander Brock.
	Excellent job, white male who's probably also evil.
	Where do I know him from?
	That main guy?
	Yeah, the guy.
	He's in a lot of stuff.
	He's in a lot of stuff.
	I think he's always a douche.
	commercial yes But we are far from powerless.
	He really reminds me of the guy that lied about 9-11.
	We are using a kid's toy.
	Oh, did she take, did he take her invention?
	No, it's his invention, but she was one of the top engineers working on it.
	Oh.
	Which maybe that's why it's such a dangerous thing.
	It has too many kinks.
	Maybe she's the one who fucked it up.
	She wouldn't fuck it up.
	That's why she's freaking out.
	We need to do this.
	Shouldn't we go through the proper chicken?
	Or may not have lied on my resume.
	No, I trust all my workers.
	Actually, a 21-year-old ditz who's still in a sorority.
	I want to thank the chick here who ran all the tests and promises me that she was up all night verifying everything.
	Because in this company, we've never hired somebody that had fucked us over, so why start checking now?
	We were nervous having a 20-year-old with no credentials, but she says she ran all the tests, so we're safe.
	Although, in the spirit of the world, she's like, oh, fuck.
	really she was like she was like I can be manufactured in pastel colors for the ladies can What an evil prick.
	Well, this is it.
	What is it?
	Hey, Elizabeth.
	How do you bang?
	How do you use it?
	Is this Wakanda?
	What the fuck are you talking about?
	You think that there's a thing that's just like a little thing that can power a building?
	I think that's a symbolism.
	You could be more naive.
	I think the simplicity of the world, it's a microcosm of how they see the world.
	There's all these complex systems that people have built and worked on.
	There's little tiny jobs for each thing.
	It's like nuclear power.
	If there was a thing that was that small that could power an entire building, you better stand the fuck away from it.
	You don't hold it.
	You better be in 900-foot thick walls of the world.
	Not past colors like neon stay the fuck away.
	He's holding it in his hand.
	It's just a skeleton.
	This incredible...
	Yeah.
	sustainably.
	Listo is the future.
	I am holding the future in my hands, finally.
	My hands are burning.
	It's not slightly radioactive.
	It doesn't make a world.
	Okay, we get it, Lizzie Banks.
	We see the light bulb in every shot.
	This is dangerous.
	Well, look, we're in a new place.
	Paris.
	Look, I got guys fighting on my face.
	I had Paris on my face before.
	That woman is a freak.
	I think she's seven feet tall.
	Look at her tower over everyone in the Oh wow, yeah, yeah.
	Is it a good light room with the light?
	Yes, but if you want to get a plant, I'm just going to clear it.
	Let me guess, this guy isn't a bad guy.
	I'm not going to mention why.
	He's got a heart of gold.
	And a shirt of gold.
	A heart of chocolate.
	And white hearts are like when you see a shit in the winter, dog shit, and it's got that powder to it.
	Yes.
	OK.
	You're the former MI6 ninja.
	Is it June?
	Jane.
	Oh, Jane.
	Jane, not the mom.
	Sabrina?
	Sabina.
	Brutal acting.
	Oh, are you Italian?
	No.
	Are you Italian?
	I'm a robot.
	Hamburg, interestingly, not where hamburgers were invented.
	That was in Frankfurt, where Frankburgers were not invented.
	It was just the channel.
	I already don't know.
	I'm sorry.
	I'm really sorry.
	I'm vegetarian.
	Thank you very much.
	Again, Elizabeth Banks is cramming in every or you know what that could have also been?
	It could have also been these punch-up guys.
	like Pat and Oswalt used to do that.
	They get paid like 500 bucks just to go through a script with a pen and write in like, hamburgers weren't invented in hamburgers.
	He's a little more popped.
	Yeah, just give it some zing.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, it is fucking low on zing.
	I'll give them that.
	I don't believe it was time to go.
	They should have doubled the budget on that wing of the Enterprise.
	Who's the client?
	Phone.
	What's that face she just made when she's walking away?
	You know what's funny is like, there's been iconic scenes like Rocky Ringside scenes like that.
	But what Elizabeth Banks saw is like, we just need a scene next to a boxing ring and that'll make it a great scene.
	Yeah, just get her standing in a ring.
	It's a good canvas for a beautiful painting, but she just said, here's a canvas.
	Here's a cannabis?
	A canvas.
	Here's a boxing area.
	Isn't this cool?
	Look at that background actor.
	Did you see that?
	Could you rewind that?
	I missed that.
	It's the most overacting background.
	What do they call them?
	Extras.
	It's one of the most.
	The most extra, extra.
	He's in a BBF.
	Extra, extra.
	Act all about it.
	He's coming here.
	He's got his face in his hand like this.
	He looks like he's doing the Christopher Lowell impression that Chris Katan did.
	Look.
	Maybe someone with curtains slapped his hand to his face.
	He was explaining what happened in hamburger.
	So that chick right there, she walked in.
	So this Asian guy was there and he was taking funds from children.
	It was so cool.
	She didn't even say, why are you hitting yourself?
	Everyone is perfectly bilingual.
	COS?
	I have lesbians no idea what that means, but you are good up here.
	I would say the post is clear.
	She's wearing some cookie clothes.
	She's just a regular gal that lesbian.
	She's the wild one.
	Well, it takes a lot to come forward.
	And I appreciate your courage.
	You sure you want to take this risk?
	Yeah.
	Okay, we can help you.
	Are you sure you want to do this risk?
	Are you sure you want to do this risk?
	Are you sure you want to make this risk together?
	Are they making a board game and it happens to be risky?
	I appreciate your courage.
	You sure you want to this risk?
	Yeah, yeah.
	It's just...
	Isn't he a sage like a god on earth basically?
	Yeah, he's just like heaven.
	I haven't noticed, but there's something different about him than the other guys that are douches.
	Well, it takes a lot to come forward.
	And I appreciate your courage.
	You slowly won through this risk.
	Maybe he says take.
	Are you sure you want to take this?
	It's almost like it's like when that black guy said on Fox, why does Tucker Carson even work here?
	Took Carson?
	Who's Tucker Carson?
	No, he didn't even make it to the end.
	Why does Tucker Carson even work here?
	So it's like L-S-O-N was all.
	Why did Tucker Carson even work here?
	What if Tucker Carson even work here?
	It's almost like an automatopoeia.
	Oh my dad.
	Those books are going to fall.
	Stop banking them.
	Hey, you and the typewriter, we have too many books already.
	Stop.
	I'm writing the straw on the camel's back.
	She knows what language he speaks.
	That's racist that she assumed what race he was, by the way.
	What's he typing?
	I'm here at a cafe having trouble figuring out how to text.
	Charlie's angels are here too.
	Shall I kill them?
	I'm here writing a better script than Elizabeth Banks.
	You need to go to the lady's room.
	What?
	Oh, shit.
	Wait a minute.
	Couldn't she just be undercover in the cafe?
	And not wearing five different types of animal print on a balcony nine floors away?
	There are five girls here?
	What the fuck?
	What's a hot chick in this cafe?
	They're working together, clearly.
	That's just so intense.
	Moment of climax.
	He had a table on his hip?
	Yeah.
	Hey, by the way, I'll keep you safe.
	I'll be standing on top of a building an hour away.
	I think I'm better in a better position to protect her.
	And just an average woman.
	Oh, what?
	That's my gun.
	Oh, gun control!
	That was the gun control thing that Elizabeth Banks put in.
	Where they want them to be?
	Yes, you have to have that when you're a woman that can't use a gun and hold on to it for a while.
	You kind of need it.
	Whoops.
	And when you lose it, and you inevitably will lose the gun, they can't shoot you with it.
	So what did he just give up on kicking her ass?
	By the way, this woman has no personality, this black chick.
	Hello, I'm Jake.
	Nice to meet you.
	In fact, if this was a robot movie, I'd go.
	She's a pretty cool robot.
	She's pretty good.
	She's a really good actress.
	She's overdoing the whole robot thing, but I get it.
	No!
	She's doing a really good robot.
	Yeah, she is.
	Wow.
	This is a good Terminator movie.
	Come on, ladies, I'm counting on you to solve this problem for me.
	I want to write an article for BuzzFeed how it's racist that they got the black guy to drive and then the black chick to do all the dangerous shooting.
	I'm sure it exists.
	Who is this chick?
	Why?
	Who are you?
	Who is he?
	Why is he shooting us?
	Keep it steady.
	Don't worry.
	I'm gonna die.
	Oh no, he's dead.
	What in reality, if that girl was a real genuine nerd who worked like in engineering?
	She'd just be screaming and puking right now.
	I'm a computer.
	computer check maybe she jumped off another balcony and landed on a motorcycle that her christen seward yeah just appears on things fucking you know me defying reality to plop onto a machine of some sort he has that in his car for what purpose in in case of this happens yeah he bought it and then his friends were like what
	What the fuck did you put up with the Rubik's Cube company?
	Like, this bitch is getting in our way.
	And the secretary with the card must be a good girl.
	My socks, by the way.
	That's pretty cool.
	I didn't see the socks.
	They were like striped fun.
	They were striped fun.
	Striped fun.
	The bam.
	Hold on, I'll swing around outside and blow his head off.
	Look how calm the robot is.
	She's a robot.
	Panic isn't in her function.
	Oh, no.
	Look out!
	That's the one weakness they have, is love.
	Yes.
	Oh, he's the new Bosley.
	He's the new Patrick Stewart.
	Oh, that's why this is all happening.
	Uh-oh.
	That nerd, that nerd's having a rough first hand job.
	Let me check.
	Yep, definitely dead.
	No need to stick around.
	You know what she does here?
	The black girl swims over to the white nerd and queaks in her mouth to give her air.
	And her vagina is so cavernous, it's actually enough air for an hour and a half.
	She just puts her head in it and just breathes through her vagina.
	Oh, oh, it smells quite strong in here, but it's weird.
	It smells like life.
	He's fine.
	They're both fine, by the way, from that.
	Not too badass to wear a helmet, though.
	I'm not giving you insurance for your motorcycle.
	I've seen motorcycle accidents.
	They're not painful.
	Just shoot him.
	You're a super spy.
	Looks like your friends...
	Whoa!
	Their car or his own car?
	I think his own, like a self-control.
	Must be his own, right?
	Let me just open this bent door.
	Gasp
	We should have tried to hold our breath that whole time.
	I'm gonna try it.
	I don't know, folks, we should warn you.
	This is not gonna be very interesting to you.
	I wonder if adrenaline helps you hold your breath.
	Feel free to scroll forward.
	Oh, this seems impossible.
	I know.
	That's the point.
	Alright, so starting.
	She shouldn't have loved!
	They have too much love!
	Sigh Sigh Sigh Sigh hey hahaha yeah yeah
	ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh get it out
	Jane?
	Hey, Jane?
	Hey, it's Jane, get out!
	Hey!
	Hey!
	Stop moving!
	Ah!
	Ah!
	Oh!
	Oh!
	Wow, pretty good from a vapor.
	Plus, I'm not sure I can count your meditation shit when she's running around opening car doors.
	Breathe.
	I'd even breathe out a little bit.
	It helps to let a little bit of air go.
	Well, I did cheat in one because when she saw Bozzy Dead, she went boonk.
	So I did have oop.
	Yeah.
	Yes.
	I don't even feel out of breath.
	Really?
	I'm impressed.
	You can vape like a motherfucker.
	I know.
	I think I have a special.
	You know, you can drown from that.
	From holding your breath?
	Yeah.
	Or vaping?
	No, from holding your breath.
	Because you can feel fine.
	And then you get a concussion.
	I don't know if it's a concussion, but you get sick about an hour later.
	It's called secondary drowning.
	I've heard something like that, yeah.
	Yeah.
	Huh.
	Look, I got legs on my head.
	That's terrifying.
	I got a tree on my house.
	licking a pussy.
	Just make sure the bangs are good.
	Yeah, let's make sure the bangs are good.
	Bang check by the way pause bang check.
	Oh god.
	Oh, that's my favorite place to go in Thailand, by the way, is Bang Check.
	By the way, you know what is similar to this and uh hustlers?
	Yes, is that the Raider always makes himself awesome so fucking rad.
	Yes.
	Like, I'm so smart and laid back.
	And I go, I thought we'd be hearing from you.
	Yeah.
	All right.
	Hey, let me solve some mathematical equations while I cook the perfect meal.
	Yeah, she was the one in Hustlers, the writer chick that made the movie was the one to get her out of all the shit and like tell her story to the world.
	If it wasn't for me, but I mean, I don't want any credit.
	But Lou, you didn't do anything wrong.
	No, what's her name, Chris?
	Look at this goof.
	Lieutenant.
	On the ocean.
	Edgar.
	Best robot ever.
	Jay, I'm really sorry.
	I am hurt.
	I know that he was black, and you're black.
	And it's probably much harder to do.
	So that's why I'm talking to you.
	I obviously wasn't a fan, because I'm not nuts about the blacks, but you being a black, you probably spoke his gobbledygook language.
	And she's not even talking to Kristen Stewart, who's in the thing, too.
	Yeah, Kristen.
	No, Kristen Stewart just met him.
	Yeah.
	Is that a stolen car?
	Okay.
	At least Kristen Stewart's character has like an inkling of a personality.
	Right.
	She's kind of a goof.
	She's like the wild goof one.
	Yeah.
	That's the only person with any personality yet.
	Why do you ask?
	Well, both of me headdress.
	What's her shoes?
	Okay.
	Is this a scene where like it's written around the fact that they all just took a shower?
	And they all have shower hair?
	Yes, yes.
	They're like, I like this look where we're all out of the shower.
	Like we just got a little bit of a great shower in there.
	Yes, thank you.
	Yeah, they've all just had a shit.
	Are we all showered?
	We're all wet.
	Let's go back to my cabin and just shower the shit out of our hair.
	Oh, they love that logo.
	He was shooting at you.
	Shane.
	The guy who made the logo for Charlie's Angels makes more than the Angels.
	They fucking put that shit everywhere.
	The shooter's a ghost.
	Facial recognition.
	If he gets $100 every time it appears, he made more money than Elizabeth Banks.
	Who lost, obviously, negative $50 million.
	That is bonanza.
	I'm obliged to remind you, Charlie frowns on revenge, Jane.
	So, Ms. Hawkland, your palace.
	Robot, no like.
	Robot want to avenge death.
	They just have their logo pulsating in the back everywhere.
	Just in case.
	But if someone's spying on you and you don't want to be seen, then you're giving it away.
	That's like MS-13 just having MS-13 logos.
	It's like James Bond having 007 cufflinks.
	Although MS-13 do write it on their phone.
	Oh, your face.
	They literally write it on their face, yeah.
	There's a flaw in the system.
	What's the flaw?
	It doesn't make any sense.
	Right.
	How could a Rubik's Cube power a building?
	It purifies water.
	But how?
	An electromagnetic pulse.
	Like a brain seizure, essentially.
	Yes.
	It disrupts the neural networks and looks like a stroke or an aneurysm.
	So it can be used without a trace of evidence.
	So she is a smart one.
	Yeah.
	And it can be traded remotely across the network that I created.
	Oh, that is what you're doing.
	Who all knows about this?
	Well, I filed a report after it almost killed my colleague.
	I would like to update my criticism here.
	I said that it was fucking absurd that a Rubik's Cube could power an entire fucking skyrise, right?
	Very reasonable.
	That's not all it can do.
	It can also randomly be used to kill random people.
	So I guess when it's powering a building, you go, hey, the CEO is on the 34th floor.
	Send out a...
	And it's like, CEO, this isn't even a kid's book It would be easier.
	I'd need less suspension of disbelief if this had a box that was a ghost.
	Right.
	And the ghost used supernatural powers to power the building, but it could also fly over.
	But even then, it would have like a skull face and be like, what's next, master?
	Right.
	Shall I kill the CEO guy?
	What's the interface to this cube?
	Yeah.
	Hey, Alexa.
	Don't get the wrong guy.
	There's two bald guys on that floor.
	Get the main bald guy, the one with the mole on his ear.
	Another one that's a mole.
	The frail CEO's at his house.
	That's a substitute this week.
	Wouldn't it be easier just to use electricity and hire an assassin?
	Than the cube that solves the world hunger and everything, inventing this stupid shit.
	No, we're behind schedule, but there are six prototypes in the Bark Facility Vault, plus the one in my lab that I was using.
	There's eight.
	Let's get those prototypes out of there.
	This is like just to pause for a second.
	Did she used to work at Now This and do those videos?
	When are you going to stop being perpetually overwhelmed?
	The block industry is equipped with insane security.
	There is no way to go.
	Do you think she still has security threats?
	Wait, she's Irish?
	Does she care to cows?
	I just learned the robot was Irish one second.
	Does she still have a security?
	Is she gonna be there at the top of the margin?
	How does it happen?
	Wow, these blueprints are magically delicious.
	You have to go there and steal his fucking lucky charms.
	You know we do have to do that.
	What the fuck?
	Bull cuts?
	Now I've heard everything.
	That's not a ball cut, but okay.
	Yeah, it's not even close.
	Hello.
	I'm a horny white male who's going to fuck with you.
	She turns around.
	Oh, hold on a second.
	I need to smell your pussy.
	This is what men in power do.
	otherwise you can't go up the escalator.
	Oh, that's a big one with the feminists.
	They don't like to be told to smile.
	I don't get that.
	Someone told me, don't forget to smile.
	I'd go, you know what?
	You're right.
	Right.
	I gotta stop hating.
	You'd be like, oh shit, was I frowning?
	I would go like this.
	And I turn my friend upside down.
	Oh, I feel raped.
	That guy made a comment that it's a cliche feminist gripe.
	Now I'm going to kill myself.
	What if I don't want to smile?
	I guess you could be an angry bitch.
	I really like these bathrooms, by the way.
	This black robot woman is going to have trouble getting cats in another movie that's not basketball related.
	She's a fucking giraffe.
	She is tall as hell, yeah.
	She's distracting.
	She has the face of a short person.
	What's his name, Minnie Mean?
	Vern Troyer.
	Yeah.
	but opposite.
	Wait, what was that?
	I don't know.
	Why did he need the second high?
	Oh, white man.
	I'm an idiot.
	Wait, now they're Vulcans?
	Yeah, women are Vulcans.
	Why didn't she do that to the guy that was assaulting her and she had the chance to?
	Yeah.
	Why don't they just make that their only move?
	It's the best move I've ever seen.
	Can this cube thing just...
	Why can't that cube just thwart any enemy in their way?
	At this point, now she's British.
	She sounded Irish before.
	I'm lost.
	I was like, I'm a dyke, and this means I want to fuck.
	I missed that.
	Nothing in this movie is worth rewinding.
	Except holding your breath.
	Right.
	So before they think being inconspicuous is like spreading out and having one of their members like nine miles away, but now it's wearing the same shit with the same hair and walk around?
	Yeah.
	Can you done this in the cafe?
	Unless they're pretending to be the same person?
	Getting secrets from the discs.
	Jessica I like.
	Sneaking around in a silly bob.
	Ding
	How about the fat guy right now going, hello, some woman pinched my neck and took my ID.
	I believe we're dealing with super spies because it totally paralyzed me.
	Who's those guns?
	Not here.
	Someone gets to it.
	The plot's taken.
	Can you get an ID?
	Look, she's unflappable.
	And then I want to be like this older woman, like a maternal figure in the movie.
	It's just like over it, you know?
	Yeah, I guess I could help you.
	It's this.
	And I want glasses to make me look smart.
	Predicted spin.
	But he signed up for the crew behind everything while he's here.
	You know what's funny too?
	Who just showed up?
	Your boy just showed up.
	The bald guy.
	I think the computer thinks Eleanor Hofflin is right now.
	I'm sending you an image of Eleanor Hofflin.
	Give it to all our guys.
	I want her detained for questioning.
	Meanwhile, one of the people portraying this nerd is a seven-foot tall black woman.
	Hope they don't look at her face or see her size.
	That's temperature controlled.
	I know that from going to the grocery store.
	I brought a Sin keyboard if you guys want to hear any 80s new wave.
	That's her stealing the thing?
	Yeah, how many are there?
	And when you're powering the building, That's how you power the building.
	You put it in a little box in the main thing that just emanates.
	But was it powering the building?
	Or is there for storage?
	I don't know.
	It could have been there for storage.
	And aren't these things just like emanating crazy energy everywhere they go?
	Right.
	Yeah, what's the receiver they're playing?
	But you have to put an entire system in a building?
	Should it look like a Dr. Zeus elephant trunk?
	I'm just like...
	Yeah.
	It's 9 million cords.
	A bunch of different little systems.
	So if this one thing is doing it all, I guess it's just like this queen hub.
	Just sitting there glowing in the basement going, yada yer, yadda.
	As all these things are just like, holy shit, I can't have all this energy, like hair.
	It's like a brain with hair coming out of it.
	Right.
	You shouldn't get near it.
	No, you shouldn't even think about it.
	Hi.
	Hi.
	Are you a tough robot who can fight like Ronda Rousey?
	By the way, he's even too much of a hunk to be in a lab.
	Are you with health and safety?
	I bet he gets treated better than the ugly guy.
	He's five years old.
	Remember the accountant who was like, I suck.
	Yeah.
	And the fat guy knew he was like, ow, you pinch me.
	But I bet because he's more handsome, he's a little cooler.
	These feminists are sexists.
	Yeah.
	Or they're ableists and body shape.
	They're shallow.
	Yes.
	You put your mouth on it.
	20 billion bacteria reside in the human mouth.
	Yeah, that's what guys say.
	That's what surfers say to hot chicks.
	Sorry, you're gross.
	Meanwhile, he's dying to eat out her ass.
	This only has 5 billion chemicals?
	I want 900 trillion from your ass in my face, man.
	Can I get the anal cut of this movie?
	What is it called?
	The butthole cut?
	Yeah.
	From cats, yeah.
	Yeah, they actually got him confused.
	The butthole cut was for this movie, not cats.
	I'm having diarrhea.
	Can I have one for all of you, PS?
	Yes.
	I've had two, you've had...
	It's not J-Mo.
	I'm not a bartender.
	It's makers with mockers.
	But you don't have the enzymes to break it down.
	You know what?
	If you beat up a bad guy in a stall like that, you'd be remiss not to take a shit on his chest.
	I mean, why not?
	If you're ever going to do it in your entire career!
	Ow!
	You know I shit on that guy, right?
	Figuratively.
	Now, he totally overacted that.
	He should have just been going like, oh, god damn it.
	Not soap!
	Yeah, what?
	Yeah, really.
	And you know who notices, by the way, things like that?
	Like you overacted the soap?
	Uh-huh.
	A good director.
	There's no director here.
	Dude, you're about to fuck a robot.
	I'm sure she saw that intro with all the shock, the shutter shock put in, and she was like, that is...
	When she saw that, she cried.
	Oh my God, I would kill to see Elizabeth Banks.
	She was like, see this movie?
	It's real.
	For the first time, she goes, I have no problem with that lesbian jumping on a helicopter.
	We have a winner here, guys.
	And yeah, soap does hurt.
	I want to interview her so bad and be like, what's your favorite scene in the movie?
	And she's like, isn't this movie kind of emotional?
	There are some ups and downs.
	What part tugged at your heartstrings emotions?
	What did you say in this movie through these characters?
	She's like, well, I took off my wig to reveal my fake hair that I had.
	Now I'm a 5.9.
	I removed my wig to reveal my other wig.
	You've never seen my hair once.
	Aside from my eyebrows.
	If you'd like to see it, maybe check out a Macy Gray video.
	Did you see that extra going up the stairs?
	No.
	Mr. Fleming said he would like to see you in the lab.
	Worst extras I've ever seen.
	Did you see her?
	You were there.
	Do it there.
	No!
	Oh, it's the same German employee?
	I'm out.
	I'm out.
	I love you.
	I see her!
	What?
	Come on with that one.
	Is this how security works?
	Yeah, why do they hire the Keystone cops to guard their building?
	Get on the ground!
	I've seen more competent cops, and Ernest goes to school.
	Sorry, Susan.
	Remove your Bob and put that up your cup.
	Watch all the exits unlocked.
	Just meet from the bottom up.
	Jay, I got it.
	We need to go.
	Can't you just step off the top of the building with your 900-foot-long legs?
	Is there another way out?
	Look at that!
	Wait, she's the everything Rubik's cube.
	Turn it into an EMP.
	Get the hell out of here.
	How many different, like, Polygon.
	You know, the more ridiculous they make that cube, the more possible it kinda seems.
	It's like some nano thing that just It's just like God's fuckin' It's God's foreskin.
	You know the T2000 from Terminator?
	It could just turn into like anything.
	Yes.
	It's like that.
	It's slightly better.
	It's slightly better than Terminator.
	Okay?
	Are you going to give some security guard a brain hamorage?
	Ralph?
	Ralph, get over here now.
	There you are.
	Ralph is about to blow.
	I can't stop it.
	Get over here.
	You're about to blow?
	I'm about to blow.
	You know, she tried to tell him.
	She tried to tell him.
	She just murdered a guy for wanting to fuck her.
	Well, he kind of killed himself, you see.
	It's not her fault.
	By the way, zero attention to the fact that you just murdered a man.
	Why'd they leave wanting to fuck you?
	Okay, no, she didn't peek out.
	They left it on the floor.
	Is that not it on the floor?
	Oh yeah, you're right.
	Did they leave it on the floor?
	I think they just left it glowing on the floor.
	Huh.
	I guess I'll need a new boyfriend.
	What is it, it has a one-time use?
	Should we be okay?
	Oh, yeah, I'm sure he's fine.
	He's even fine, right?
	Yeah, I'm sure he's okay.
	I'm sure he's fine.
	Her first murder.
	They're always a little squeamish.
	Ah, well, that's a shame.
	Obviously, this is a disappointing setback.
	But we have time.
	Wait, you have an East London accent.
	You're not smart enough to make a Rubik's Cube energy machine.
	Well, Roy, we've been in a bit of trouble.
	This ain't sound.
	Tommy Robinson.
	Engineers from that?
	How could they do that when they're hoiding?
	Hoiding?
	They're hoiding?
	Yeah, no, that's Luton.
	Luton.
	He's fucking Croydon.
	Luton has this weird Northern English thing.
	Hoiding?
	Oi don't know.
	I don't know where they're hoiding.
	Hoiding?
	Where they're hoiding or the twin?
	It's hard to do that.
	Oi went over.
	It's like it goes oi for all eyes or northern English and then it goes over to East London.
	Oi went over!
	That is it.
	Oi went over!
	Over!
	Twinning!
	But it's not down there!
	Come on, win this point!
	Look at what never happened!
	I took a huge point out of this Mars bar!
	And then I sold it on Lee Pi!
	That is a great matchup.
	10 out of 10.
	It was down there owing.
	Oh my God.
	Look at this basketball freak.
	She looks...
	You know, in the Kingsman, they give us this scene super early.
	Let me show you the guns.
	Here you can.
	Good.
	Is she going to fuck any of them or are they just their friends?
	I don't know.
	Yo, me a burpee now.
	Okay.
	Yo, me a what?
	A burpee?
	Working out?
	Hey, sister, how are you?
	Nice to see you.
	This is how people are greeted, by the way.
	When you're greeting someone, you get in a line.
	Yeah, each of you do your little thing.
	Is he security?
	You got the weirdest security checkpoint.
	When we meet.
	Next time we meet, like Ezra Levant, you get behind me and I'm like, hi, Ezra, how are you?
	He's like, and I'm like, we are.
	And then I'll go the way and then you guys do your.
	Here's a kid on the left cheek and then here's the right.
	If you ever need additional adjustments, I'm here for you.
	This thing takes care of our health and well-being.
	Keeps us in fine shape, you know?
	Well, that's right.
	Okay, that seems so progressive and for the dark.
	I noticed the bananas smell like his ass.
	I wear yoga clothes.
	I'm not allowed outside.
	And I usually get fucked with a strap on.
	Which I don't enjoy by myself.
	And why?
	Especially when it comes to the bottom.
	Wow, I thought you guys were in a picture of like being the brows and me craft.
	Well, eating is all about the intention you put into your meal.
	If you honor the cow, the cheese is going to be good for you.
	What?
	Now they're fucking Hindus?
	So is this Elizabeth Banks telling us the ideal man?
	Yeah, this guy is a godsend.
	I think Elizabeth Banks'husband, by the way, I looked this up.
	Also, if you're gay, I'll throw you off a fucking building.
	Like, he's not a pussy like this.
	Maybe that's why she's rebelling against it, because she's like...
	They say they want kale and everything, but then you hand them a cheeseburger and they're like, "Oh, Jesus Christ." So she's had a cheeseburger so long, she's Yeah, she's fat.
	This is the grass is greener on the other side.
	She's got the grass.
	And the kale.
	Now she's projecting what she doesn't have.
	Or it's more like, you guys should be eating kale.
	I mean, obviously, when it comes to me, I'm going to have a fucking cheeseburger with fries.
	But you people, you people, if you would all eat kale, the world would be a better place.
	I'm going to have a cheeseburger, but that's none of your business.
	Can't believe I'm calling her husband a cheeseburger, a delicious cheeseburger.
	She sure he is.
	Bacon cheeseburger.
	Yummy.
	Pepper Jacobitch.
	Give me some of that Elizabeth Banks husband booty.
	I'll be the fries on the side if you don't mind.
	Yes.
	It's code Prime 40 and single.
	And I have HD.
	That would be funny if we joined some elite gang and their initiation was to seduce Elizabeth Banks' husband.
	Just before the dick goes in your mouth, you get to go on Gladys.
	It's like you think you're jumping on glass and it's like Doritos.
	And when they do the hazing things, that's one of them.
	We're going to jump on glass.
	And you jump and it's the crunch of the Doritos.
	You're like, oh, thank God.
	But for this one.
	I bet that's illegal now.
	And her husband is just so bummed out about this, he's like, Jesus Christ.
	There's another group of five.
	Someone calling you gang members.
	Sorry, Charlie's Angels.
	We weren't paying attention.
	Is this relevant to the plot?
	Wait, you girl and Paul Garby on the raft.
	No money more broadly.
	Looking good.
	So what about you?
	How did Charlie find you?
	Jane is former MIS.
	Looking good.
	She's a doctor.
	You work for That's looking good, right?
	Is that your phone?
	I also followed the rules of Charlie Claude.
	Yep.
	Okay, so top right, I'm just trying to change.
	Perfect.
	I am a murderer.
	No.
	Yes, you are.
	No!
	The point is, if Callisto falls in the wrong hands, by the way, that was a very female trait we just saw.
	So she's feeling guilt for killing the security guard, which is exactly the same as hustlers, where they go, I know, Crystal, you think you did something wrong, but you didn't.
	Those guys were jerks, and they were stealing from the fireman's retirement spending it on blowjobs.
	Right.
	Which you don't get in the showjobs.
	You get robbed and killed.
	Yeah, they're getting lapped at.
	And is it not the whore's fault for giving blowjobs?
	Yeah, blowjobs are illegal.
	In fact, cops go undercover at strip clubs and try to get BJs, and then when they get, or they almost get one, they shut the place down.
	That's right.
	So these finance guys, maybe one or two of them got a beach, but it's frowned upon.
	I mean, just clear passport control and astung.
	Oh no.
	Who didn't?
	I got food poisoned from under the grand yogurt sauce that I left out, but then I got hungry.
	Right.
	Not that.
	She's so crazy.
	She's so funny.
	The black woman has so little personality, and they always do this in movies.
	They always do this with Don Cheadle.
	It's so underwhelming.
	Did you see that movie with Adam Sandler where Adam Sandler lost his money?
	His money lost his family.
	Obviously, I think losing more money is worth reign over me.
	Yeah, and it's like Adam Sandler's really depressed because he lost his family in 9-11.
	And Don Cheadle is his friend who's there to console him.
	It's not funny.
	It's a serious trauma.
	I want to see it.
	And Don Cheadle is so nothing.
	He's just like, hey, man, how you been holding up?
	All right.
	He doesn't react to shit.
	Go get a burrito.
	Do you want a burrito?
	And you're just like, you could slit this guy's throat.
	I'd feel nothing.
	He doesn't have a personality.
	because I think writers, pussy writers like Elizabeth Banks, are so scared of giving a black person any substance that they end up making a character we don't give a shit about.
	Like the fact that they're they like whitewash like make her fart and have bad thoughts or be uncomfortable, but but I don't know about incredibly tough.
	The worst part in this symbol, but the worst part of right now is about to be this.
	And then she rips one.
	Oh my god, that's much louder than I thought it would be.
	That actually tore my inner lips.
	In fact, that tore me so severely.
	We could do a butt cheek, a buttock.
	A butthawk.
	Okay, ruin the joke.
	The comedy is so unforgiving.
	Yes.
	One stutter and it's gone.
	Her hair is so distracting to me.
	By the way, okay, we've missed about 10 minutes of this.
	I don't feel like anything.
	I don't think you still need the Rubik's Cube.
	The people who make the Rubik's Cube want to kill you because you've noticed that it can kill security guards.
	Yeah.
	The moments leading into the most tense part of the film, if they're just as important as the intro to the film, which is disposable, that's not good.
	And did they already reveal that the guy who invented it is the one who wants this chick dead?
	When he had the earthings and I was making fun of his accent?
	I think that was him saying, I'll donate this bitch.
	Oh, I see.
	He wants her to dead.
	I think we've already revealed that the inventor wants is the guy hiring people to kill her.
	Gotcha.
	And so she worked on it.
	Yeah, she worked on it and she noticed a flaw and that's slowing down production.
	Could slow down production.
	Gotcha.
	So that's why she's wanted dead.
	We're going to Brazil.
	Going to Brazil.
	I can get a tax break there.
	Welcome to Elizabeth Banks' first and last movie.
	Didn't we notice anything wrong with the song she made for Hillary?
	Bump, bump, bum, bum, bump, bump.
	This one's for you, Hillary.
	Uh-oh.
	Istanbul, are they giving us shady?
	Oh, maybe she's bad.
	I think you know what to do.
	But she doesn't look happy about it.
	Wait, what was that?
	She bonds.
	She's finally confused.
	Thank you.
	Oh, no.
	Oh, she's giving away their locations?
	No.
	I refuse to believe Elizabeth Banks has the depth to make herself a bad guy.
	No, she wants to be both.
	I want to be like the good matriarch and then also bad girl.
	I want for people to think that I'm evil and then I turn out to be nice and people are like, I'm sorry I ever doubted you, Elizabeth Banks.
	And I want a girl named Sherry Gillam to see it who went to my high school and I want her to fucking stew because she never trusted me.
	She was the bad girl and I'm a better bad girl than she'll ever be.
	But then also I'm good again.
	Perhaps it's simply that you missed the job.
	We all get old, my friend.
	Retirement is not a death sentence.
	So is the man who refuses to retire.
	So is the man who doesn't look like a walking penis in a suit.
	Every time he talks, I hear a children's story being read.
	He sounds like a cartoon lion.
	But what would come of this new gift?
	Whoopi, we'd love to have you on the show.
	He's got a wire.
	right so he's been Oh no.
	Oh, Elizabeth Banks is the villain.
	And Predator Albino Baby has caught on.
	Predator Albino.
	Wait, this is what the scene they were starting before.
	Where they're going to show us the costumes.
	By the way, 1970s Charlie's Angels I watched as a little kid.
	It's so much better than this fucking movie.
	And the budget for that was 80 bucks.
	And I just get to take whatever I want.
	How is this a closet of your dreams?
	Okay, so you want to start with a protective base layer?
	With a protective base layer?
	Why do women love ethnic men?
	Why do they need to hear an accent?
	It's the sound of servitude.
	Or does it mean I travel a lot?
	No.
	Like the whole tall, dark, and handsome thing comes from like this guy, like a tall...
	It means like I've been to Morocco.
	This shirt was actually made in Bangladesh.
	And they think that that's like when Sex in the City went to Morocco.
	Did they?
	Yeah.
	Oh, shit.
	It's like their ideal man, a fucking pedophile rapist.
	Who wants to throw games off buildings?
	My goal is to look like a 12-year-old boy.
	That's why in fashion magazines, all the women look like a 12-year-old boy.
	So I go to where they fuck 12-year-old boys.
	Right.
	That makes sense.
	Oh, I'm so bored of her.
	Like, as an actress.
	You're younger than I thought.
	I'm a good part.
	This is why the Kingsman's better.
	They had...
	Yeah, and they had history.
	There was a point.
	There was a functionality to all of this.
	This has history.
	They showed the Photoshop pictures.
	Yeah.
	Customized to fire tranquilizer darts.
	Is that another gun control thing?
	We don't need to have guns.
	You can have tranquilizer darts.
	Is that a gadget?
	Or is that just a gadget?
	It's just a fucking trank.
	The Tiger King has one.
	What's the range of that?
	A trank dart?
	Oh, good.
	Let's all get microchips in our skin.
	I'm sure Alex Jones loves that part.
	This is an RFID logo.
	So that we can't be discovered.
	As long as you have it on, you can hear us.
	Cool.
	Can I take his mids?
	They're not mitts.
	They are the bubonic plague.
	We release those when we're ready to kill all of humanity.
	We drop them off at the one we have two of them.
	Because one is in Grand Central Station and one is in the Tokyo airport.
	And they proceed to envelop mankind.
	You can do the same thing with the North and South Pole.
	We're definitely losing.
	Yeah, we have one in the North Pole, one in the South Pole.
	Fuck it.
	Where'd you get these?
	The platform.
	Where's them in grocery stores?
	Sea Dews.
	What?
	Grocery stores.
	They're everywhere now, because it's but wiser.
	Wow.
	Sorry, let me guess.
	You went to the grocery store and it was slightly crowded, but just like every other time.
	They didn't have flour.
	They didn't have.
	The sugar was almost sold out.
	I had the last sugar and then I couldn't even afford it.
	I told you this many times.
	If you want flowers, go to the cotton.
	Thanks.
	Anyway, but yeah, they were out of flour and you know, essentials.
	Did it hurt to keep the face code?
	No.
	Oh.
	I should have done it the rest of this entire movie.
	Hi, I'm a 90-year-old man in the kid's body.
	Hi, I'm the boyfriend of the guy who showed you the gun room.
	Get away from me.
	You are a cheetah.
	Sorry, in our culture, we think women that are giraffes are dangerous.
	She's pretty tall, too.
	She's on a ladder.
	The only time this woman looks normal as an actress is scenes shot on a hill.
	She's actually...
	It's like a forced perspective.
	Have you ever been on stilts?
	I feel like you have.
	Yeah, I think so.
	Yes.
	They take like four minutes to get used to it.
	Yeah.
	And then you're just fucking hopping around like this bitch.
	What's the best trick you've ever done on a skateboard?
	It's on cute.
	Okay.
	A what?
	A boneless one?
	It's an 80s trick.
	Oh, is that like a...
	Gotcha.
	Gotcha.
	That's pretty sick.
	It's pathetic.
	No, that's pretty sick.
	Because the timing is impossible.
	No, it's really easy.
	It's like one billionth of an ollie kick flip as far as skills.
	Oh, shit.
	Why is she talking to this bitch?
	Christiana Annapore.
	I believed you, but I lost everything.
	I had to turn around with mothers, I couldn't even help.
	I know.
	This sets itself up to be just...
	Look how nothing this actress, this character is.
	Let me rebuild our trust.
	I just watched all the James Bonds, and there's this guy in it.
	You know, I forgot his name, but he's a really good character.
	Great story.
	He occurs multiple times in the series, and you don't like him, then you do like him, and it's not forced at all.
	And that's kind of what this is.
	Character depth.
	Yeah.
	You just have to show their range.
	By the way, I'm completely fucking lost right now.
	I don't know what's going to be.
	I think they just show the green screen.
	That's the green screen behind them.
	They didn't key out.
	So I got fired.
	But of course, director Elizabeth Thanksgiving.
	She's like, you know what?
	No, I kind of like it.
	It's kind of artsy.
	So what are they doing now?
	Good job, J. Come on.
	Come on.
	Wait a minute.
	Wait a minute.
	Are we befriending jihadists now in the fight for good?
	She likes, I know a woman who knows all the cool jihadists.
	This gadget is voice activated.
	All you have to do is yell Allahu Akbar.
	I can help you.
	I have friends who will blow themselves up on your enemies.
	They also will eat goat for lunch.
	They're very inexpensive.
	They can throw acid in your enemy's face.
	Wait a minute, I think that's what's going on here.
	So he goes to Morocco or some shit.
	By the way, a nine-foot-tall black woman is weird, isn't it?
	She would be a witch.
	The second you leave and go to anywhere European, Asian, Middle Eastern, you are the only person imaginable.
	I really wonder how tall she is.
	I'm guessing 6'3.
	Yeah.
	Which on a chick is bananas.
	5'10 looks tall on a chick.
	Yeah.
	Yeah, that is weird, huh?
	Look at that little fuck you to men.
	As soon as you're supposed to be dead, while you relax, fucking could recognize you, and we can't risk it.
	Wait, now she's killing herself?
	Fuck, I'm sorry, folks at home.
	We went a little astray.
	I don't want to ruin this movie for anybody.
	Have you seen it?
	This is the guy.
	Thank you.
	But he's clearly in Morocco, Turkey.
	he's in a muslim country Oh, yeah, that's not.
	Listen, I want to blend in, but I want to put my little string of hair in.
	I need my bangs.
	I'm never giving up my bangs.
	Ryan Katsu.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Here's my brand new hat.
	Ryan Katsu Sharia.
	Very good.
	I'll put a chip in it.
	What's that?
	Chip, chip, chip.
	What are the chances Wow, he really.
	Let his shit fall everywhere.
	What was he juggling as well on his phone?
	That's how I get tripped.
	I go like this.
	Whoa, shit!
	When I trip, I'm completely nude on the cobblestone.
	It's a yard sale.
	Can I get my socks?
	Does anyone have one of my socks?
	Of course, this particular reason.
	By ski poles or trees and where you're out with connections to international arms deals, drum trade.
	All parties who might be interested in Callisto.
	Familiarize yourselves.
	Syndicate members, wealthy course owners expected to attend.
	Flag anyone Fleming could be in business with.
	I want to help.
	Look.
	Hang on a second.
	If you have invented some Wakanda shit that can murder people, but also actually fuck the murder people.
	Not even Wakanda, fuck Wakanda too.
	It's more advanced than what's in Iron Man's chest.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Yeah, it's the juice from that.
	So say you have the fucking shit chest juice.
	You don't need to go visit arms dealers and risk going to prison for the rest of your life.
	Just like sell it.
	Just get them.
	You're Henry Ford.
	You just invented the car.
	Relax, my friend.
	Don't like, Henry Ford has just invented the Model T, so he's gone to a Moroccan horse race to help sell it to fucking drug dealers.
	What?
	Why don't you sell it to the guy who lives right there?
	That's right.
	I want it in my house.
	Good point.
	My energy bills are through the roof.
	I would love to get a Rubik's Cube to power this shit.
	He's selling top technology at like Girl Scout cookie level.
	Yeah.
	Door-to-door.
	It's not.
	Cocaine.
	It's a perfectly legit energy source.
	No, cocaine is actually.
	What are you doing in fucking Morocco?
	Dickweed?
	Oh, I'll tell you why.
	Because Elizabeth Banks wanted to bring her friends there.
	The movie made $17 million, but her friends made fucking $20 million in fun.
	Interesting.
	Adam Sandler does that all the time.
	His movies are always in Hawaii and fucking Africa with the woman with water parks.
	Oh, yeah.
	Yes.
	I can hack any system and I can do it fast.
	The murder mystery?
	A typical hacker to me.
	And don't tell me I can't do it because I know I can.
	I'm done sitting still.
	I'm done.
	I've had a taste.
	I want more.
	You enjoyed killing your boyfriend?
	Do you think...
	That's it.
	Deep cut.
	I'll remember that.
	It's a sneak peek.
	Do you think Elizabeth Banks thought she might have gotten nominated?
	Yeah, she did.
	I would love it if she did.
	I think she thought so.
	Because it's a movie.
	How does that feel?
	Because it looks like it felt really good.
	Nice.
	I'm just going to give you the tablet.
	I need to go back.
	Yeah, this is a comic moment.
	Where they're talking about her sh-I once saw a really fat baby giving Eskimo kisses to a kitten.
	And that was more adorable.
	Also, it's kind of implied that you're coming with us because you're in this briefing.
	Yeah, she gave you the universal hacking tool and the bracelet, right?
	Mm-hmm.
	Yeah.
	But how'd that feel?
	Because it looked like it felt really good.
	Nice.
	I was just going to give you the tablet when it was done.
	Mm-hmm.
	I'll let it carry on.
	Great.
	I know what happened.
	You know what happened?
	Yeah, that was actually a good scene.
	She was like, I want to be part of this thing.
	And then they were like, you are, you are.
	Yeah, that was actually funny and normal.
	That's the thing.
	It cuts the mustard.
	This whole movie just cuts the mustard.
	No, this whole movie sucks shit and never cuts the mustard except for that one 10-second scene where, by the way, we've drank about five beers and had half a bottle of whiskey.
	And it's still like, you know what?
	Those girls are kind of cute and they're having a good time.
	They're out there.
	And Elizabeth Banks, you know what?
	You tried your best.
	This whole movie is that character.
	What character?
	The shoes?
	The one who's like, I want to be a part of this.
	It's like, yar, you made the movie already.
	Yeah, you're in it.
	You've paid the money.
	Look, I have a t-shirt.
	Your movie.
	I love it so much.
	I'm wearing the t-shirt.
	The tracks mainframes look like the shirt.
	You just look like Elizabeth.
	Did it say Charlie's Angels on your shirt?
	Yeah, the security camera.
	You don't have access to the mirrors?
	We're giving away our secrets.
	For the second time.
	We're watching this movie in a mirror, if in case you want.
	Oh, during Turkey.
	I can't imagine Turkey having a big grand.
	By the way, Turkey wasn't invented in Turkey.
	Chicken was.
	Chicken was invented in Turkey.
	Nothing is Scandinavian.
	Once the target's on site, you make the grab.
	What are we grabbing?
	I'll take care of the transportation and prep for extraction.
	Because I wrote the movie.
	I'll be in the car again.
	I'll be sitting in the fucking van again.
	You know what's funny?
	If you're an actress, you probably want to go, I don't want to become like that black robot giraffe.
	So I really want to make my impact here, and I want to do a character like Bill Murray did.
	But then you have the lesbian and Ghostbusters from SNL, who was just like, man, what's wrong here?
	Putting her feet up all the time.
	This is colorful.
	Like eating a caterpillar for the reasons.
	I'm sorry, you thought he was hot?
	I don't know what hot is catching a fly and then putting it in her beer and then throwing it away.
	What?
	What are you doing?
	You're fucking breathing.
	But that's what Kristen Stewart basically is, but a less.
	Well, she's actually dialed it back too much, so she only has like a tenth of a personality.
	And she has the most personality in this movie.
	She's got one of those personalities where it's like you're doing and acting that way, but there's so much pain behind all of it.
	Yeah.
	Let's resume them.
	Charlie's Angel shirt.
	It's all just a show.
	That'd be a cool shirt for us to make.
	Just these.
	Say this ep is super popular.
	Even if it's a fucking smoke show right now, by the way.
	Who, the giraffe robot?
	No, the nerd.
	The Armenian nerd, whatever the hell she's supposed to be.
	Oh.
	Good.
	Jane?
	Good.
	Elena?
	Good.
	Fuck.
	But she has glasses in every scene.
	I just missed the superfactor.
	Better luck in the third run, I hope.
	Tap of the Mernan.
	Hey.
	Hey.
	Um, Daddy Longlegs?
	Oh no, that's my business partner.
	The blue one?
	The blue.
	Seems nice to post time.
	Anybody see anything?
	Not yet.
	Do her eyes have to look like they've been dropped in a fireplace?
	Non-Gennari.
	I don't care what his real name is, I'm gonna call him that from now on.
	Nanginari.
	Nangiani.
	Nanginari.
	Serious money?
	Ones hundreds of horses.
	Ones hundreds of...
	Yeah.
	We get it.
	He's rich.
	Is he the buyer?
	I bought a bank off now.
	Sabina!
	Fine!
	That's him!
	Why, let's go!
	Go just grab him and throw him in a paddy wagon.
	Let's get out of here.
	That's definitely him.
	Sabina.
	So this guy with this Rubik's Cube is trying to sell it to some fucking corrupt chic.
	A public race horse.
	Yeah.
	Why wouldn't you just sell it?
	Why would their sights have that logo?
	Is that not just a distraction?
	The sites have the logo?
	Gracie?
	When she looks...
	Oh yeah!
	God, they really got...
	It's the assassin.
	The greediest man in the world.
	What assassin?
	There's an assassin.
	She's gonna go 30 feet.
	She's taking a long shot.
	Wait, the crosshairs would not be on the bottom.
	Oh, she needs to.
	Look, that was the anti-gun thing, too.
	They don't use guns.
	And that's why she hasn't killed that guy.
	But she doesn't know how to shoot in accommodate for the fact that there's distance.
	You have to.
	zipline coming up I'm not listening to you, by the way.
	It's people now.
	Um, the assassin was the neck guy that we couldn't, that I couldn't hold my breath for.
	We're chasing him.
	The black guy comes back to life, that was it?
	He goes back and do it.
	No, that's...
	The security guard is dead.
	She looks great.
	I'm not a green guy, but that Kelly Green, she has on a cute hat.
	It's a fun look.
	I love her with the long brown hair.
	So she thought worse about that random security guard than the logic about this guy that's been treating her since then?
	She looks really good.
	Neither seem to give a flying fuck about either of those people.
	The black chicks seem kind of annoying.
	Whew, I did it.
	My clothes are so pristine.
	Good thing I was rolling on AstroTurf.
	Christine, Christine.
	Good job.
	How did you?
	I'm gonna do a good job, horses.
	Can somebody please track this mobile?
	The logo is on our on the van.
	Hold on.
	I was gonna say as a joke, it's tattooed on their foreheads, but it actually is literally tattooed on their necks.
	It's actually on the van upside down.
	Look.
	Oh my god, it is.
	It's just very subtle.
	Look for the angry ambulance with the fucking stupid bitches logo on it.
	Like a retarded idea in the ocean.
	There's nothing out here but a rock quarry.
	Where are the specs?
	Bring up the specs.
	Whatever the fuck specs are.
	Touch them!
	This place is industrial.
	This is where men are.
	We're not supposed to be here, but guess what?
	We're better than men.
	I'll circle until you signal.
	The sale was out of it out here.
	Look at her.
	She's a freak.
	She's a fucking praying mantis.
	She is very tall.
	Yeah, everybody's head is.
	She is Barton Bailey.
	Look at the Armenian girl.
	She comes up to her actual tit.
	Who is this tall hero?
	I looked her up.
	Her mother's a sh black chef and her dad is, I don't know, Andre the Giant.
	And both of them are hideous, by the way.
	How tall is she?
	It's possible God really likes race mixing because she is obviously breathtakingly gorgeous.
	But her mom is like a four.
	6-2?
	I don't...
	No, I didn't look...
	Weird enough, I looked up her parents.
	She's actually squatting to be not as tall as that building right now.
	She's actually squatting to be in a picture.
	Every picture you see, she's like this.
	She has to get into a building.
	Just kick him in the head.
	He's a man.
	You have to hang that poster way higher.
	MI6 spies are on calendars now?
	No, I don't think that's her.
	I think it was her.
	I think it was her.
	It looks like her.
	If I was running MI6, I'd say, look, spies, you can't be supermodels and do calendars.
	Oh, look at it.
	That's murder.
	We're literally garbage.
	Throw us in the fucking There's a female security guy, and you throw her off a building into a pile of shit.
	Fucking concept.
	That was so miss.
	That's a mebonic plague.
	Let's go.
	Lock this.
	Not this.
	No, I know.
	Lock it.
	All right.
	I think things are about to pop off any minute.
	I'm going to take a quick pace.
	I'm gonna take a quick piss Okay, the gate is locked.
	Only on our asset is on three stories.
	Obviously, the people.
	wait, didn't you just say we can't fuck with the mics?
	And then you fucked up with the mic.
	It's interesting he looks like Roger Stone.
	It's conceivable that was on purpose.
	Or maybe Tom Ford.
	Bonfire of the faggotries.
	Oh, he's here.
	And if you think you're going to kill me before I can repeat you, doesn't he say?
	Women sure love killing men.
	You are.
	I represent a liar who wishes to remain anonymous.
	There's the Chinese guy from the beginning of the movie.
	So Charlie's Angels failed.
	They showed up.
	They caught this guy when he was a small-time crook stealing from women and children's charity funds.
	All they did was wrap a curtain around his face, make him slap himself.
	Turns out they didn't go further than that.
	They didn't pursue it.
	They should have just shot him in the head, I guess.
	Because here he is buying Wakanda juice, Wakanda cubes.
	Look, it's the guy from the beginning.
	Oh, shit.
	Do you ever have genius ideas while you're buzzing?
	Yeah, like to shake it.
	No, I have this great idea where I play a buzz, like I have an older ego character, like a buzz because a buzz feed guy.
	And he goes over your episodes, and he calls them things that are racist or sexist or whatever, so that a buzzbee or something.
	And then you make a video responding to that.
	And it does back and forth between the scripture and the guy who's trying to get you on something like that.
	He said this.
	You should probably have a glass of water.
	Why?
	Because you guys are not going to be able to do it.
	It hasn't been recorded.
	They have the enzymes.
	Wait, your entire audio is never recorded?
	No, no, no.
	It disconnected after I went to the bathroom.
	But now it's recorded.
	Oh.
	Well, that's okay.
	Because Ryan just had a terrible idea.
	It was a good idea.
	So I play this BuzzFeed character.
	Shhh.
	Of course.
	Guys, that's Calico.
	There we go.
	There we go.
	What is he, Australian now?
	COD.
	Plus wire transfer.
	Look how much money that is.
	It's like 100 grand.
	Why would he never fix his teeth?
	The device is worth $13 trillion.
	And you just sold it to someone illegally, jeopardizing the whole project for $10,000.
	$100,000.
	But my employer insists.
	So yes.
	Didn't they get that guy?
	Will they let him go?
	No, no, no.
	I gave you the report.
	It's all outlined in there.
	So that's...
	that was never part of the deal well mr flemington it is now look it's a complicated process it's a difficult situation Oh, first death of the movie.
	What?
	That wasn't by the Angels accidentally.
	That was not part of the plan, Mr. Hodak.
	Damn it!
	Who cares?
	Yeah, and really, though, it's not like it's drugs where there's going to be more.
	You know?
	They caught the rice ball and then they let him go.
	That's what I'm screaming.
	How effective is that?
	Wait, was that not recorded?
	I guess it was.
	Yeah, you said that?
	Yeah.
	Oh, I think you were pissing.
	I can't see her anywhere.
	You're clearly incompetent, Charlie's Angels.
	The guy that you curtain slapped is the main bad guy.
	You worked that hard.
	You had to jerk him off with your feet to what?
	Let him go?
	Look at the hell.
	You had him by the balls.
	By your feet.
	You had his balls in the palm of your foot.
	And you let him go, you fucking loser.
	You're fired.
	You know what would be funny if we did a reboot of this, but it was a male Charlie's Angels?
	And they were just awesome.
	Charles Angels?
	Charles Angels.
	Doesn't make any sense.
	No, it doesn't.
	Because Charlie is still a fancy angel.
	Charlie was always angel.
	Charlie's dudes.
	charlie saint Oh, let me guess.
	She thinks she's useless.
	She's a dumb nerd, right?
	Whatever.
	She's a wimp.
	And then all of a sudden, she gets the last minute scene and she's like, what the fuck?
	You are a Charlie Tangle now.
	We can do a sequel, but we'll make even less money.
	Here's another thing about women.
	I don't think they respect music to a level that men do.
	Like, wouldn't you throw in P.O.D.'s Here Comes the Boom or something?
	Yeah, this is just like...
	Yeah.
	They blow the budget, and then they go, we need music.
	Now, what was smarter with Charlie's Angels in 2000 is they had all these great songs that were popping the sound like, wake the fuck up!
	I forget that guy's name.
	They had like, Smack My Bitch Up.
	Oh, did they?
	I'm pretty sure they did.
	Yeah.
	There's that thing.
	Mary Moore, I think she produced it.
	She was smart enough to put money aside for some great hits that also made it fun.
	Yeah, this is like they stole the soundtrack from Night School with Kevin Hart.
	Do, do, do.
	Wait up, help me!
	Dun, dun, dun.
	I bet the guy who did this soundtrack got paid $8,000.
	And he just sat next to a keyboard and just went.
	Orchestra hit, orchestra hit.
	I have dreamed of this moment since then.
	Except your hair was lumber.
	But I like this too.
	This is great.
	Yeah, by the way, Asian guy, you won.
	Yeah.
	Are you going to let me go again?
	Because this is pretty cool.
	Don't even think about it.
	You want to run away with me?
	God, you're so desperate.
	It's not.
	Yeah, you should say desperate.
	Hopefully I'm not.
	Actually, I just beat you again.
	And I'm an Asian dude.
	Aren't you the desperate one jerking me up in the game and chasing me all the way?
	Look, this is the scene I was talking about.
	She's freaked.
	Look, I am actually an engine.
	It doesn't have the correct drama, it should.
	Right.
	Bring Mantis to the rescue!
	Look at her!
	She's a fucking spider!
	you don't shave your armpits well By the way, this is just one buyer of your stupid Rubik's Cube.
	The company's still corrupt.
	Right.
	Give me the geis!
	Hit her right in the balls.
	Uh-oh, you're gonna get processed.
	Hold on, I have a computer from the 70s.
	No, wait, no!
	Slugger!
	Slugger!
	No!
	Oh, no.
	They're in the rock processing machine.
	And there's more rocks coming down.
	The computer tells her now she knows about algorithmic sensors.
	Fucking rock grinders.
	Get to the side.
	Oh, thanks for telling me that girl who's on the computer miles away.
	Meanwhile, I'm seeing the rocks in the middle being swallowed up and the ones on the sides are worse.
	Actually, as I'm joking around, I am feeling a sense of tension.
	Come on.
	There's 0% chance that anything will go wrong.
	It's got a good grip.
	Imagine one of these angels died would be hilarious.
	It would then be considered like a movie.
	It would be normal.
	Are they trying to do a Star Wars shout out yet?
	What kind of computer There's like the compressed camera.
	Wasn't Luke wearing a similar outfit when he was getting compressed in that garbage chip?
	Oh, yes.
	Yeah, yeah.
	Well, he was wearing a strong trooper outfit.
	And that was white?
	Yes.
	Again with the balls!
	That's the second guy in this scene.
	We're supposed to enjoy that, by the way.
	She can't even watch a guy go.
	Criminal.
	He's just criminal who took like 40 grand to show up to this thing.
	Right.
	He doesn't even know what he showed up to and we're supposed to enjoy him getting crunched at that.
	Oh, it's the wrong side.
	Oh.
	What?
	Oh.
	She tried to put this like you get knocked out thing.
	Oh, the thing she knocked herself out.
	How do you knock yourself out?
	She had like a little gel thing that's supposed to knock him out.
	It was the wrong size.
	Oh.
	Was that the altoids?
	Maybe.
	Maybe.
	Some sort of small thing.
	Some cute little girls.
	Brosley.
	I don't know.
	Where is Batsy?
	Oh, time for another.
	Time for some showers.
	It's like the opposite of the shower.
	They're all dead.
	Is she in a Staten Island Fairy all of a sudden?
	Reflect.
	Crime thing.
	That was terrible.
	The message here is our girls are our future.
	That's why I made this movie.
	To show that they can be anything they want to be.
	It's a future angel.
	I'm going to tell you, like you told me.
	This is the closest thing to a real song in the entire movie.
	Girls have to know that they can be Charlie's angels and they can kick the shit out of Arm Stealers and make them slap themselves.
	It's a real song.
	It is?
	It's pink.
	I think it's pink.
	And some local SoundCloud rappers.
	I'm not really in to know that it's pink singing right now.
	It could be pink.
	There also could be a SoundCloud rapper.
	Only going to pay for 45 seconds of the song.
	Bosley?
	I thought he was dead.
	Oh, the Patrick Swayze one?
	But he retired.
	Patrick Swayze.
	Patrick Stewart.
	We've got to kick some old guys in the balls.
	You got the phone?
	You grabbing beers?
	I don't think you have the enzymes.
	You grabbing the beer?
	In fact, if I pissed in your mouth, it would probably be a normal amount of alcohol.
	It would be an improvement.
	It was her idea to steal Philistia from the lab.
	Exactly.
	But Fleming Beater did it.
	It's been a mission the entire time to get this thing back, get this thing back, and it just keeps slipping us.
	We're better than that.
	It's her.
	What is there?
	Philistia's gone.
	And so is she.
	Ooh.
	Johnny said he represented somebody.
	What if it was?
	They're getting a call from Charlie.
	Hello, girls!
	Hello?
	Charlie's in block.
	You're in great danger.
	Get out of there now!
	Can I?
	Oh.
	Old white Bosley.
	He tried to warn them.
	Being bombed doesn't look so bad.
	Why is Ted Kaczynski in jail?
	You just get, you just cough and you can't hear very well for a bit.
	bet you got that ringing Is this the denu mom?
	So Elizabeth Banks betrayed them.
	Who shot Elizabeth Banks?
	Baby Albino Baby President.
	Bosley did.
	By the way, Elizabeth Banks, you're the director.
	So if some old British guy goes, You can say cut and say do it again.
	I know you're much more accomplished than I am.
	But let's do it a little smaller.
	That's a little big.
	Give me less.
	Give me a little less.
	little less PS.
	Oh my god, it blew my legs off.
	I'm only six feet tall.
	Finally.
	I won't have to bend when I go into doorways.
	Zabina!
	Really?
	Zabina!
	Zabina!
	She'll be okay.
	Just pick her up and cry over her.
	Give her a shower.
	And then just when you give up, she'll go Oh no, she's in a coma.
	She means a lot to you.
	We had a new friend.
	I think.
	We're back to that weird Muslim chip who was in here once.
	I don't know what her role is.
	She got them into a Kentucky derby in Turkey?
	She got them into a hijab?
	Thanks.
	I already got a job.
	Oh, only emotion in the entire film.
	Do they not have like a thing that goes beep, beep, when somebody's alive or dead?
	No, she's not in.
	No, I think she's at the lady's house.
	Mmm.
	I'm not crying.
	I'm hungry.
	I'm not crying.
	Well, you are.
	That's...
	That's...
	I can't find out.
	I'm crying.
	You can't find out.
	I think that you...
	...care about me.
	Why?
	Because you're a shitty actress and you're like a robot this whole movie.
	I can be really annoying most of the time.
	It's funny how you can kind of see what the scene wants to be.
	Yeah, in a good movie.
	Like you're supposed to be crying right now and going, I guess so.
	Yeah, you are a tiny bit annoying.
	If you didn't throw your annoyingness down the audience's throat, maybe you would be like, yeah.
	I wouldn't give a shit whether you lived or died.
	So I got lucky.
	Yeah.
	But also because you convinced me I don't have to do everything by myself.
	It's not I can be annoying, it's I can't be anything else but annoying.
	You owe me an explanation.
	This is not Brazil.
	I brought supplies.
	Home and much away probably likes.
	And the best part, I brought a friend.
	You're acting.
	I'm not the mole.
	Then why are you ARPAC?
	I just realized something.
	This movie sucks so bad.
	I know it reeks.
	This guy is Elizabeth Banks.
	It's a representation of Elizabeth Banks like massage therapist.
	Yoga therapist guy.
	And he doesn't just do yoga with her.
	He's a genius.
	Yes.
	Hey, Maurizio, you're in the movie.
	What are you talking about, girl?
	You're crazy.
	You're in the movie.
	You're fucking crazy.
	And then he saw the movie and he goes, oh my God, he's like me, but way hotter.
	Thank you so much.
	I was worried you were going to make me fat.
	Honestly, that's how I see it.
	Is she like, no, no, no.
	You're not fat.
	I think he's uglier than you.
	You're out of your freaking mind.
	They both cried together.
	You think so?
	Yeah, because he started out just doing yoga and he was a fitness instructor.
	And then he started bringing by green juice shit like fucking.
	And then he's like, I make your muffins that are baked with zero flour, sugar, or anything that's in muffins.
	It's just, it's called a sh piece of shit.
	Yeah.
	The thing is, she looks at him as a shaman because he speaks very simply.
	He's like, sometimes things are hot, but you have to be strong.
	She's like, he just gets it.
	And he's gay, which is why the husband puts up with him.
	But these celebrities live secluded lives.
	Are you sure you want to be doing that?
	You are.
	Charlie's Angels t-shirts available at censor.tv.
	She can call me right after that.
	Okay, keep your bruises.
	So then who?
	Make yourself at home.
	Pinky animal.
	I had some clothes turned up.
	Take your pic.
	The white guy was the bad guy for a change.
	Get off your fucking phone.
	I thought you were in airport mode.
	I said to make sure.
	Have you heard from Jane Zapina?
	And then you went and did some texting?
	Well, I told Ray.
	Curiosity of a cat.
	Look at this.
	Did you miss this?
	Hydrick Stewart's bad.
	Yes.
	Just trying to understand my situation.
	Did you wait?
	I wanted an audience with Mr. Braw to discuss Kalisto.
	Well, soon you'll have one.
	But Kalisto's been stolen now, so I...
	Callisto's the name of the music.
	By the way, if you want to kill her, just hit her in the head with a baseball bat.
	And do it before she needs to hire that chief assassin in the universe and take her to your lair.
	And you failed bombing them?
	Why not take her by surprise when she trusts you and then just shoot her?
	After you shot Elizabeth Banks, just pop her in the head.
	Right.
	Is this more Batman shit of hanging him over a shark tank?
	Oh god, this is her moment.
	I'm actually awesome.
	I want wind in my hair.
	Stat.
	Believe it or not, the person who wrote the movie is awesome.
	And that's why one of your tits got so dirty.
	I had no trouble believing it was me.
	You heard that?
	Australian Johnny.
	It's so gross, too.
	Australian Johnny.
	Her tits got so dirty.
	That she gets killed, where she gets the sympathetic, oh my god, no, she's dead.
	She gets that.
	She gets the she's the bad guy.
	She gets the oh no, she's the good guy.
	The only thing she hasn't done is a few fucking roundhouse kicks in a sex scene.
	That's about it.
	No love interest.
	He's using us to date criminals now?
	Yeah.
	Johnny, Mr. Hodak, an assassin, they work for Buzzley.
	He always seemed like kind of a weirdo.
	Freaky.
	English.
	So Bosley has Elena.
	Okay.
	Do we know where?
	What's Elena?
	There's a tracker's.
	What's Buzzley's motive?
	Money, I guess?
	You have a lot of litter jackets at your apartment.
	See, I told you it was borrowing a not take.
	Shh.
	Alexander Brock is hosting a party at his compound.
	Elena's there.
	Oh, God.
	Wow.
	Seamless transition.
	I mean, that.
	Hey, Alexander Brock is the guy who invented the Wakanda Rubik's Cube.
	Isn't he kind of stressed out right now?
	This is his coronavirus.
	It's been stolen.
	The security guard died, remember?
	Someone came into your head office.
	And now he's throwing a little smell.
	Whatever.
	It's a movie.
	Well, I would not worry about it.
	I'm going to have a fucking party.
	No, Ben Applett is.
	I mean, is he?
	Inside Hollywood Joe.
	It's an old movie.
	How old am I?
	What?
	That has nothing to do with it.
	I don't have your references.
	There are film buffs of all ages.
	Let's go get all go.
	That's her Judd Appatel riffing moment?
	What?
	You're going to dress her up before you kill her?
	That was her Judd Appatel like riffing.
	Yeah.
	Put on this dog collar.
	We're going to kill you over the course of three weeks.
	We're Aztecs.
	We're going to give you the same moment as Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies, but without the lighting.
	And the scene's going to suck.
	That's.
	Whoa, look, she's got balls now.
	What are the chances?
	No, no.
	There's an entire career estimating the talents of women.
	And you, my dear?
	I'm marvelous at the cloud.
	By the way, I don't know if you know a lot of contractors, but I'm building an office for myself.
	And I want behind me these sort of vertical slats of cedar stained.
	But in between every four slats or so, I want just a normal neon light, like you'd have in a dentist's office on the drop ceiling.
	But I want that vertical with the slats.
	So when people look at me, they see these tubes, these tubes of light staring back at them.
	So they can't actually see me very well.
	Sort of like you right now with this light in your face.
	I guess we could pull that off.
	It's going to look like crap.
	It's my office.
	They no longer work for the Townsend Agency.
	Oh, like that?
	They will also be incredibly distracting.
	Hey, are they off-center?
	Did you see that movie script I sent you?
	Like, the imagined?
	Are they off-center?
	Oh, yeah.
	There's no rhyme or reason for them.
	I want to talk to you about capital gains tax.
	So if you take out your money now, I'm trying to talk to you about something in your life.
	Turn what off?
	Turn off my skepticism.
	how to hack this and reprogram root access to me.
	You thought Flannery could do it?
	He always had a habit of claiming credit he didn't deserve.
	How long would it take?
	Forever.
	I'm not touching it.
	You think you have a choice?
	Yeah, it's adorable.
	I said, love.
	I said, love.
	You've been studying.
	Wait, what is she?
	A barracuda?
	You have to either bite someone's ear off or nothing.
	Or just nibble?
	You can't just go, I need.
	It's ridiculous.
	Hey, what sea is there?
	Someone's pouring a very hefty gin.
	...a very hefty gin.
	...a very hefty gin.
	There's 36 security guards, contractor for the party.
	What is this weird serpentine entrance they make?
	Are they being chased by an alligator?
	Wait, Why are they doing this?
	Is that part of the dancing?
	People just matched into the crowd.
	And now when was rehearsal?
	When was rehearsal?
	When was rehearsal?
	But now, all lines are on them.
	And all it's going to take is someone remotely involved in the crime industry to go, I know that fucking giant frame mentis chick and the lesbian.
	They beat the shit out of that my Asian boss.
	And then jumped onto a fucking helicopter.
	This is not the lair of the baddies.
	By defying physics.
	Do you want one?
	I'm good.
	I'm good.
	I'm a robot.
	We don't drink or eat.
	I just look like Gene Simmons from behind.
	Just some visual evidence that we were here.
	Hopefully the bad guys don't see that like they're here.
	Kristen Stewart walks like she's bodacious.
	She has anemia.
	Bulimia.
	And that.
	And she walks like she's bodacious.
	This is the driver's floor.
	I'm just really trying to be all this place.
	It's huge.
	I was looking for the bathroom.
	Whoop!
	Am I in the wrong place?
	Now the white man down!
	She needs a taser?
	I thought she was like karate.
	Actually, your little ninja pinch?
	Right.
	Why are you doing this?
	Why are you doing this?
	Why are you gay?
	Why are you doing this?
	You are doing this.
	I'm not doing this.
	Who says you are not doing this?
	This is the most idiotic plot in the world.
	Mr. Brock, oh my god.
	Thank God, please help me.
	What is she doing here?
	What?
	Oh, that was subtle.
	Oh.
	Can't he hack into this?
	Mr. Brock is in a moment to sabotage.
	This is a movie based on deception.
	Everybody's professional.
	Wait, wait, why can't he hack into this?
	He invented it.
	That's right.
	Oh, he's got a quirk.
	John's wigglyhead.
	So if she died, he would have no way to get it.
	He's a bobble-headed bad guy.
	See, this is the problem with you, right?
	You keep telling me shit I can't know.
	What was his undeniability?
	You ever heard of it?
	You're a terrible employee.
	Yeah, and who cares if people die, right?
	As long as the investors are happy.
	Grow up, little girl.
	Callisto's about to change the world.
	Just shoot her.
	If you want to bake a cake, you're going to break a few eggs.
	It's omelette.
	If you're going to compare dead people to eggs, could you at least use the correct phrase?
	Eggs are metaphor.
	You have to make a Elizabeth Banks.
	The term you look for is metaphor.
	Take care of her.
	Finish what you started.
	You have to use eggs to bake a cake.
	Egg mix requires eggs.
	I mean, cake mix, yes, but the metaphor is a classic, and you got it wrong.
	That's true.
	Take a seat, Mr. Brock.
	Uh-oh.
	No.
	Everyone's deceiving everyone here.
	What the hell is happening here?
	Oh, this is why the evil guy gets his from the other eviler guy.
	All of you work for me.
	We did.
	You dumbass.
	Why are you laughing?
	You idiot.
	They're stealing Callisto from you.
	They're gonna use it as a weapon to assassinate people.
	Why didn't you just sell it on the free market for billions?
	The bad guy.
	Possibly trillions.
	I'm not happy about this pro-hunting motif, Elizabeth Banks.
	What the fuck is going on now?
	It's better to fake horns.
	Well, we're spies, so let's guess.
	Let me guess that works.
	That blows up.
	I'm confused.
	You're crazy.
	I'm not giving you my access.
	You could alter the blockchain.
	I mean, you could literally ruin everything.
	Oh, the Falcon Grip.
	The Vulcan Grip is a major part of this movie.
	In fact, the more units there are out there for me to hack into, the better.
	Don't do it.
	They've killed everyone who knows about this except you and me.
	Mr. Brock is complicit in the deaths of two people.
	Ooh, pretty high stakes.
	They just said two.
	Two.
	You know how many people die of spider bites every year?
	Six.
	This is the world.
	You might as well have a spider in this movie.
	This is a world-changing device.
	This arachnoid has killed over six people this year.
	Wow.
	Yes.
	But he's ashamed of that song?
	They paid for a ringtone version of...
	Oh great, it's, uh, it's an access of that on my personal safe.
	You're up, my dear.
	Got out.
	Oh, I get it.
	That's actually another good scene.
	We have two good scenes now.
	One was that you're already part of this dummy, and the other was going boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop on a safe to get someone to come up.
	Oh gosh.
	Oh, that's the hunk.
	I'm...
	you...
	heathomassin'my Louis XIV?
	What is wrong with you?
	No sense of humor, that's your problem.
	No, that's Elizabeth.
	Thanks.
	Couldn't they just kill her and use her thumbprint?
	Yeah, sounds good to me.
	It would still have like the heat in it.
	Or just like, if you want her to do whatever you want, just with shearing scissors, take off one of her fingers.
	Right.
	We've been through this before.
	But wait, who was that on the ground?
	The hunk from the chemistry?
	I think so.
	The one that she liked a little bit.
	But she didn't know him.
	The praying mantis knew him.
	Is it legal for us to do this, by the way?
	I don't know.
	I mean, we're obfuscating the image, so it's not like you're getting the movie.
	Like, if you projected this and charged movie tickets at a theater, they'd go, that's not Charlie's Angels.
	There's two fucking ugly guys in it.
	I don't think there's bootlegging, because we're doing a really bad job presenting.
	I would love to fight these two girls, these two actresses in real life.
	Besides the really tall one.
	With headgear and everything on.
	Dramatic music
	Switching to access.
	Name it the print.
	John Baldwin.
	Wait a minute, there's two of you and a fucking 90-year-old man.
	The guards all left.
	I'll have to check, of course, that it's actually working.
	Cut us off.
	Short range, power burst.
	No overall.
	What the hell are you doing?
	He will kill us!
	Don't be daft, it will kill her!
	And, uh, what's his name?
	Not us.
	You're gonna be downstairs enjoying your party.
	Come on.
	You want me to go back down and watch?
	Protect everything fine!
	Everything is fine!
	You're gonna disrupt the power industry.
	Oh, you.
	This is kind of like an anti-environmentalist thing.
	To disrupt the power industry is evil now?
	Hmm.
	What's the matter with her?
	Oh, yeah, right.
	Why is she so powerless?
	Wait, we never were told that's her boyfriend.
	Right.
	Just a cute guy in the lab that she liked.
	I didn't really got you.
	Of course I got it.
	That was the one the mantis liked.
	Am I stupid?
	I asked if I'm stupid and Ryan gets so bored he starts yawning.
	No, it really was like the black chick that went to go hack the stuff in that laboratory saw that guy.
	I don't think they've ever been.
	Oh, wait a minute.
	No, he was next to her when she was doing that.
	It's tricky, tricky, tricky.
	And he was like, shh.
	Oh.
	At the very, very, very beginning.
	That's their entire relationship.
	Oh, gotcha.
	Right.
	They were at that campfire.
	Yeah.
	Wow.
	Campfire?
	No, no, no.
	He was doing the announcements.
	And then the guy came up and said that there was a fire.
	She did a rap.
	Yes.
	Wow, I haven't seen a woman beat a guy this bad since fucking...
	Fox?
	Micah Fox?
	No.
	Kimbra Fox?
	Micah Fox?
	Yeah, something like that.
	chung I know them all.
	You got seven years?
	I know them all.
	This could have been so much better if it was a real song.
	You see, they did like Skrillex for four seconds?
	Yeah, but and then fuck it.
	I gotta go back.
	Doodle and doodle and doodle.
	Ah.
	Oh.
	What is this happening?
	Yay!
	Wait, wait a minute.
	He's already freaked out.
	Wait, wait a minute.
	He was already freaked out that there was a major coup at his party, and then he went back to his party, was having fun, sees someone gets impaled and goes, why is this happening?
	In a normal world, you would see that.
	Will you stop yawning?
	You already had a nap to do that.
	It's a bad movie.
	It's not even like I can't.
	I don't even know where it's going to go.
	I can't pretend.
	All of a sudden, he's acting surprised.
	If that was really you, and your entire thing that would be infiltrated, when that guy fell and died, you'd go like...
	This is so fucked up.
	I would pretend I didn't see it and I'd be like, Jesus.
	It would be like someone fainting at a funeral.
	Like, you'd already go, oh, great.
	This is more shit.
	Yeah, that didn't raise the stakes.
	That you were just robbed of everything.
	You knew that hacker was dying and her boyfriend.
	And somebody that you just knew blew up.
	Look, they have shit on our face, like we have shit on our face.
	Old man versus young lady.
	This is a thrilling situation.
	So wait a minute.
	Does this mean if he's corrupt that Charlie's Angels has always been corrupt?
	And if that's true, she just ruined the entire fucking franchise.
	well.
	Yeah.
	Like all the 70s shows, Lucy Liu, it's all been part of Patrick Swayze's, Patrick Stewart's evil plan.
	Killer.
	Send the love.
	What?
	That's a bubonic plague altoids.
	This is the ebonic plague, motherfucker.
	What?
	It's coronavirus.
	She licked a bunch of toilet seats and then kissed everyone at the party.
	Oh, the altoids.
	Those were all.
	So no bad guy said, no, I'm good.
	They all took an altoid?
	Oh, that's the one at the beginning who gave her the card.
	Thank you, Louie.
	So these angels are everywhere.
	Women who kick ass are everywhere.
	And we were.
	The guys are devils.
	Look, now he's free to go.
	Wait, wait.
	He's with her.
	No, I don't think he is.
	He's a good guy.
	It's weird that he looks the way he does.
	What did you expect me to do?
	Take up God, Nathan.
	You thought you made us, we made you.
	You trusted your hand.
	I was right in the mouth of a speech.
	Sorry.
	Super clean, angels.
	I didn't want to hear the info.
	I wanted to revenge and retaliate and contribute to the page.
	Yeah, the good guy, the Asian dude.
	I don't care why he's a good guy, but I'll take your word for it.
	I think he's turned into the city.
	Yeah, you're in.
	It's not that hard.
	You don't have to be victorious.
	Good, thank you, Baz.
	Good, thank you, Baz.
	I appreciate the call.
	Oh, it's a woman that's been Charlie the whole time.
	She just turned Charlie into.
	This is just a pink wash.
	It's a pink wash.
	Didn't you get killed with a...
	You know what the most fucked up sexist thing about?
	Oh, wait, look.
	It's the same guy.
	That's the lab guy.
	The guy at the beginning with Tricky Tricky Tricky is the chemist guy.
	Oh, shit.
	They both like him.
	Oh, uh, yeah.
	I think he finally got the boy.
	Is that a pun?
	Because you're in the hell?
	Are you doing like a joke thing for the hands in there?
	I hope not.
	I mean, it's working.
	That is what you do.
	What's working?
	Wait, a joke's supposed to be funny?
	You got dumped by your boyfriend.
	Right.
	He went to the mantis.
	I'll find you.
	And they asked her, is that working, the joke thing?
	And he's like, well, it's working if that's what you mean.
	No, if it was working, you'd be laughing.
	Because a joke.
	Oh, look, outtakes right off the boot.
	Welcome to the Townsend Agency.
	Oh, that's one of the older angles.
	Was that Farah Fossil?
	No.
	I think that was the one that no one talks about.
	It's only one they could afford.
	You lift it from under the last corner.
	You gotta trust it.
	So I guess.
	That's some racing car lady or maybe an angel?
	Another former angel.
	Now this is gonna be the Farrah Faucet, right?
	Farrah Faucet died of colon cancer.
	Oh.
	That's Ronda Rousey.
	No fear.
	Fight through the pain.
	Focus.
	Try to left 90 seconds this time.
	90 seconds is a long fucking time to fight Ronda Rousey.
	I want three.
	And why is she doing karate all of a sudden?
	Isn't it like not even her thing?
	Yes.
	We must lift the wires in the correct order.
	Laverne Cox.
	RuPaul.
	No, it's Laverne Cox retired.
	But oh, you're saying just like RuPaul.
	Yeah.
	I don't see a difference.
	That's a dude, feminist.
	That's a dude.
	Why is this other angel taller than me?
	Loud voice Austin, get up!
	Let's go!
	Ten seconds to jump!
	Everybody up!
	All this bullshit they have to do is like more proof of the absurdity of feminism.
	You know how many women want to jump out of an airplane?
	Yeah, because maybe one less than one percent.
	If this was just something they do, this would not be an exciting scene.
	I've jumped out of a plane.
	Jump onto this mattress in our sound studio.
	While dudes in pink sneakers actually do it.
	Holy shit.
	Oh, I saw this in the trailer and I thought, that's a cool way to begin a movie.
	Because she jumps.
	And she's like, now you're the only one.
	And by the way, it's just irresponsible to have somebody go out without...
	A flyer plane is not a dare.
	You're supposed to do a tandem jump your first time.
	Nailed it.
	We killed a woman.
	Because she didn't know how to fly a fucking plane, believe it or not.
	Glad she didn't die.
	She wasn't even pissed.
	She was like, You know what's funny?
	All of this shit they're doing now could have been a good movie.
	Like, it would have been cool to see them.
	This is the best.
	Yeah, this feels the best.
	This could have been them, like, getting to know each other and developing the characters.
	We did this at the beginning, and we saw, like, the mantis have a personality.
	This was like an unfunny parody of James Bond.
	This was an unfunny parody of Charlie Mantis 2003.
	Whatever that was.

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