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Feb. 25, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:06:26
S02E129 - LFGM [2020-02-25 - S02E129 - LFGM]
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Time Text
Don't know what to do with all the happiness that you're giving me Lately Lately *thud* Now, switch it to manual focus or it'll keep going in and out.
Hey, folks, I'm back from Port St. Lucie, checking out my fave team, the Mets.
World Series Champions, yo.
More than a quarter of a century ago.
That's why I like wearing this jacket because it's like so ostentatious and proud.
And when did they win?
86.
Yeah, champions!
86!
I was 16 and couldn't have given less of a shit about sports, but my son loves the Mets and I'm happy to go down there with them and take them early, get the players coming in and out of the parking lot.
They love balls, getting their balls signed.
And I actually pulled out my testicles to one of the players with the Sharpie.
I said, will you sign my balls?
And he did.
And I'm allergic to Sharpie ink.
I did not know that.
But I got, you know how your bag has those little bumps on it where the hairs are?
Of course.
I have twice as many bumps now.
And it makes your underwear black.
But thank you very much to Noah Syndergaard and DeGrom for assigning each one of my testicles.
My son, on the other hand, went with normal balls.
This year we did very well.
I'm not a fan, by the way.
As a person, it's not in my personality to be a fan.
So waiting for autographs, it just...
I don't want to be on my phone either because that's a bad dad.
So I just sort of stand there.
Oh, we went to batting practice too every day where they let the fans come and see them work out.
There's these fucking adults there that are just...
This one guy was walking around with a plastic case that held maybe 100 balls, 10 by 10 grid.
And he's going on getting them signed.
Why?
They're going to get them, put them on eBay and sell them, which most of these autographs, like I think Tim Tebau, is that this one?
I don't know.
My son knows all these.
It's worth like $100 or something, but most of them are worth $30, $40.
So you're selling them on eBay.
That's where we work, Clover Park.
And you're waiting all day in the boiling heat.
Fucking Florida, man.
When it's 72, it feels like 102.
The sun is an oven down there.
I don't know how you people can handle it.
I really am impressed.
But they wait there in the sun and they get their $37 ball.
I'm just like, what are you doing here?
And you're in the way of kids.
There's little kids lining up to get their balls signed or to catch a ball.
During batting practice, they go over the fence.
Honestly, maybe 50% of the time.
That's why we have so many because we were there all three days, four days, watching them.
And then they're catching balls that kids should get.
Yesterday, I was at a game.
This was Monday.
I took my kid out of school.
You're welcome for that.
We're at a game.
It was the Nats and the Mets on their territory.
So down in Palm Beach.
And there's this fucking lady in front of me.
And her boyfriend, who looked to be about 44, I think he was a cop from Oklahoma.
And he was a Mets fan, I guess.
Yeah.
Maybe he could have been a Nats fan.
He's down there and he's talking to some cop who's working on the field.
Oh, where are you working here?
Blah, blah, blah, the shift.
Yeah, the life of a cop, blah, blah, blah, cop, cop, talk.
And then she says, how's this for egregious?
Do you think you could get him a ball?
It's his birthday.
What?
A, that's a cop.
Why are you making him go run errands for you?
B, don't interrupt the conversation, lady.
These two cops are talking.
Don't send them out.
I guess that's the same as A. But B, okay, let's make B the ball.
B, men shouldn't have balls.
These are all my sons.
I brought these into the studio today.
I better not lose one or I'm dead.
These are not mine.
I don't collect signatures of balls.
If you do and you're an adult, that's gay and depraved and sad.
And I saw, like, usually the people who do it are kind of handicapped, fucked in the head.
Like, I have it signed.
Thank you.
I'm in Rosario.
You're number one.
That's the same as a kid, I guess, in many ways.
So we'll let that slide.
C, who cares if it's his fucking birthday?
There's a reason you know the term birthday boy and not birthday man.
We should only know about your birthday if you're under 18 and then maybe 21, sure.
30, maybe.
40, yes.
50, okay.
You know, the decades.
And even then, it should be like, hey, it's my 60th birthday.
My friends are paying for dinner tonight.
Okay, here.
Hey, and do a shot.
Not like, can you go get my boyfriend a present, please?
So anyway, my son, after the end of the inning, they're throwing in the balls.
And my son learned on his phone, puedro vaater, uno patrola.
I already fucking forgot it.
Jesus.
Can I have a ball in Spanish?
Oh, puedo.
Puedo.
That means can I?
Let me see.
Recibe.
Vera uno.
And then ball is like palota.
That's it.
Anyway, he's yelling like, puedo ena ta una palota por vavar at Luis Guillermo.
And he's throwing it to them.
So he catches them.
And then he thought, oh, you know what?
I already got two balls.
I want to keep one to get signed by Tim Thibault, which is one of these.
And then she goes, oh, you could give it to him.
It's his birthday.
What?
To my son.
And you know what my son's doing with his ball?
Guess what he's doing?
What?
He's looking around for a little kid to give it to, like a five-year-old or whatever, you know?
Yeah.
Because even he's getting a little too old for this.
And this grown man is about to steal two children's.
Well, he hasn't said shit.
Oh, okay.
And I said, I just sort of snapped and I said, he's a grown man.
Give it to a kid.
And then they sort of had this, I don't know, Montana's maybe not a confrontation state the way New York is.
So they sort of had this erect after that.
Because I called him a bitch, basically, in a way.
And I gave his girlfriend shit.
So it's kind of a double insult.
And then they were like that for a while and they didn't say anything at all.
And then they left.
They missed the game.
Oh, wow.
Nice cop.
They could have just changed sections, right?
There was lots of cops there.
I saw a cool shirt.
I should have got a picture of it.
It said, fuck De Blasio and had an NYPD shield on it.
Oh, and the guy in front of me, he had a shirt that said world's best detective, obviously like a retirement gift.
And on his arm it said, Rafael Ramos.
Nice.
Who's that?
That's the partner of Win Jian Liu.
Good.
One of the two cops assassinated.
Two of the cops that they made, the two pigs that they made fly.
Right.
Remember?
Black guy says I'm going to make pigs fly, and he went and shot those two cops in their cruiser.
De Blasio, you got my back.
Wait, what?
Oh, I get it.
Like, they turned their back to him.
Oh, okay, gotcha.
Yeah, I didn't get that for a second.
Yeah, that's a smart one.
New York City cops ain't too smart.
Oh, really?
Strokes?
What about this witty shirt?
There's a not-so-witty one right to the left here.
Fuck, Bill de Blasio.
So much for wit.
Oh, speaking of shirts, out for buds.
Just keep coming.
Tons of buds.
Our, I don't use the word fans.
Not only am I not a fan, and I don't mind kids, but I don't call people who are into us fans.
Our viewers, our family, our club.
Yaraza.
Miraza.
Let's look at some of them.
Now, I guess you can show ones you've already seen, but I'm going to go through those fast.
Dude, I don't think you have to show the letter.
Maybe he didn't want something, anyone to show that letter.
Did that occur to you?
Maybe?
When you doxed him?
Well, there's no info from it, but the people that left there...
Like his website is not info.
Okay.
Yeah, well, whatever.
Let's look at it.
This could be the winner.
He sent it very low res.
And it's not this blood's for you, dude.
It's out for Bud.
This blood's for you is like saying Budweiser's tastes like blood.
It's not the same riff.
But I really like that picture of me.
That is really nice.
I want to poster that.
Oh, that's a good zoom-in.
Yeah, it's way too low res.
And that's an insult.
As a member of an ex-cartoonist myself, I know you never show line art that's not 600 DPI.
It's an insult to the artist.
And you'll notice on his website, when you click on something, it takes a good five seconds to load because it's getting the proper pixelization.
That sucks.
It's like a furry.
You blew it, Derek.
What's next?
Wow.
That is really awesome.
That's the same guy who did the...
He was coming out of it.
Does the hand look weird?
The bud hand?
Well, the only hand you see?
Can you zoom in on that?
Yep.
The bud hand does look a little odd, but he changed the whole background and gave him a leather jacket.
Okay, dude, we appreciate your extra work.
That's a leather jacket to you?
Oh, a denim jacket.
And I know I'm pushing it because it's free work, but do you think you could make the hand look a little more normal?
It looks like a deer's hoof right now.
I don't care if we can't see much of Budweiser.
In fact, if we ever make this as a shirt, that would be better for us to hide as much as the Bud as possible.
You could tilt that forward too, so it looks like it's natural.
So yeah, if you could just make that more of a normal hand and less of a deer hoof on that, we would really appreciate it, sir.
But that is a fucking winner right there.
What else do you got?
Oh, yeah, he did some other ones.
No, I don't.
No one wants to wear that.
I certainly don't.
Yeah, that's a gay dude.
Oh, dude, it's you on the shirt with the heels on your face.
Yeah, no, I said corny 80s with flowers and stuff, like an iron on.
He's got a black flag one.
That's pretty good.
He's got a clash one?
Wow, this guy's good.
And there's a shift.
I can't see the people in there.
Yeah, there's Schiff, Maxine Waters.
I don't get that, though.
We want to have sex with these horrible people?
Fuck you with heels on.
I guess just like...
Okay, whatever.
A few guys.
What's next?
We got...
I wonder if Black Flag could sue you for stealing their logo.
I bet they didn't bother with that.
That one's pretty cool.
Yeah.
Still slightly homoerotic, just like the anime one, but.
Yeah, I don't mind that.
It's a little too perfect and clean, and I don't know.
It's really, really good, though.
But it lacks heart.
Yeah, if we had like a potato chip company, that would be perfect.
It's a little too clinical and perfect.
We want a little bit of sloppiness.
If you're a werewolf who drinks bud, you're kind of sloppy, you know?
That's too good, Brandon.
But very good.
Next.
That's gay.
Out for butt.
Next.
Are you sure all these people want their names used, Ryan?
The people that didn't include the names, I just put their first name.
But the people that signed it know that we've been looking at Out for Bud.
That's weird.
Doesn't look like me.
When you give me a chin, I'm unrecognizable.
Next.
That's awesome.
And I don't think Budweiser could sue us.
Not at all.
Thought to give you some more options.
I might print better in t-shirts, throw in a concept with a vampire since Out for Blood.
Bud concept seems to work better with a vampire, but that might just be me, whatever.
Oh yeah, you didn't follow the...
That's pretty cool.
That's so weird.
It's high quality.
Keep going?
That one's funny to look at on a screen, but it has no use.
But yeah, that's pretty good.
I'm going to save all these.
And I have this little group of dads in my suburban town, MAGA dads.
And instead of just, I used to just send them the beer emoji, but now I'm just going to send them a different one of these.
And they'll go, dude, you're a graphic design wizard.
Because I'm just going to, they don't watch this show.
And I'm going to slowly just leak them out over the next year.
Like, hey guys, I'm out for Bud.
What about you?
And eventually they'll just go, do you do anything but make these?
What's your job?
So many different styles.
Yeah, you have an incredible range.
And then it'll be weird to hang out with because they'll think I'm a megalomaniac who spends hours drawing myself.
And then when you're done with them, they're like, so when's the next one?
It's like a thing.
And now I'm a slave to my bit.
Yeah.
Slave to my bit.
Oh, we didn't talk about the opening song.
That was Jerry Cinnamon, new hit.
I don't know if I like it as much.
It doesn't smell like out of the park.
What do you think?
It reminds me of Sometimes a lot.
Too much so?
Is he already done?
Sometimes some.
No, it's just a sophomore slot.
We're going to see him on this tour.
Oh, he's going to Asbury Park.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I got you a ticket.
No.
Yeah.
Ooh, det rules.
We're going to go with Huey, my boxing dad pal.
That is awesome.
New fighting with Larry Barnes, which I believe he thinks is called Boxing Talk this weekend.
And he's doing the fight we just saw, Deontay Wilder and Tyson Fury.
You know, all it takes, the thing I love about boxing is just one thing can go wrong.
Like you get pregnant when you're 16 and now you're stuck at home and he's a loser and he's gone.
He's some Japanese hairdresser who's not going to stick around and you're left there with your Puerto Rican family and your kid.
And that's your whole life, boom, at a 45 degree turn.
And boxing is the same, but in a microcosm.
Deontay Wilder got hit in the ear so hard that I believe it created a vacuum.
So the boxing glove, because it's malleable, pushed the air out of his ear.
And then when it came back, it sucked his ear drum out and tore it to shreds.
That's why it was bleeding.
So it's exactly like a plunger.
Imagine you took a plunger to a guy's ear.
I'm like, chung, chung.
That's what happened to him.
I don't think it was so much the impact as the vacuum.
Anyway, Larry's going to be breaking that down frame for frame.
He calls it a...
Lot of racial shit this year.
He's got one volume, Larry.
And there, there's nothing wrong with that.
He says the weirdest shit to me, too.
He's like, yo, I couldn't believe this, but I got an invitation to Chappaqua.
The Clintons are having this big dinner and they're having all these different guests.
And I guess one of them is a boxing fan.
They're having me come down.
And they need a driver.
So I thought, why don't you be the driver?
And just like, you get a hat and gloves, and then I'll walk in, walk in with me.
You can meet people, whatever, and then get out of there.
Wait around for me, whatever.
Can you imagine?
And I go, really?
I mean, you were big 30 years ago.
The Clintons don't strike me as boxing fans.
But simultaneously, I'm thinking, I got to get on Amazon now and buy a driving hat and white gloves.
She probably knows you by face.
Yeah, that would be the other fun thing.
It's like, Hillary, hi.
I'm the driver.
King, oing, oing.
The one that's never leaving.
Just like, yeah, just like De Niro in Cape Fear.
What is he called?
Barrister?
Oh, fuck.
I always forget this word.
And somebody scolded us via lawyer.
They scolded you for not remembering it.
In an email, I could recall that, but I don't remember.
Just look up De Niro, you know.
Actually, Cape Fear, it's the first scene that'll come up.
Hello, Mr. Lawyer Guy.
No, that's not scary.
Hello, guy who represented me poorly and left out details in the trial.
No, that's not gotten a lot of zing.
Do you recognize any of these?
See, he's in a car.
Okay, car scene.
Oh, God.
What's the matter with my brain?
Come out wherever you are.
No, have you seen this fucking movie, Ryan?
No.
God damn it.
Wait, is that it?
This one?
No, that 1991.
Let me see, y'all.
It might be in the trailer.
We got to see your logos in the fucking trailer.
That's the thing I want to do with you, Ryan.
Let's go to my home theater, project the movie Hustlers on ourselves so we don't get in trouble for showing it, right?
On ourselves.
On ourselves.
Oh, okay.
It'll still be the screen there, but we'll be sitting there.
So we'll have all these weird faces and stuff.
And then with the volume off, just try to guess the movie.
Because I saw when I was on my flight, someone at an angle was watching it, and I was watching it over their shoulder, and I could just see the whole movie.
Yeah.
Like you don't, it's so derivative and obvious that you don't need the volume to watch hustlers.
I've not seen it.
So I'll see if that's at home.
See if you can find him on a trailers used to stink.
Yeah, look at that font bouncing all over the place.
Oh, it's a shaft in him somehow, right?
What was he in prison for?
No, really?
What the what should you do?
Barrister?
Small town every way too.
Does he say it?
I don't know.
No, there it is.
I was his lawyer.
But you shafted him somehow, right?
What was he in prison for?
No, really.
What the what should you do?
Have you been following me?
Small town.
Every way you turn.
I guess we're gonna run into each other.
Dad, you shouldn't have just punched him out.
Yeah, you're gonna have to go back.
Before we knew that actors had ridiculous political convertible car.
Sorry about this, folks.
You're at the whim of my memory, and I know you're sitting at home going, it's called the Destitute.
Destitute.
Isn't it Cape Fear?
Shut up.
Destitute.
Counselor.
How about Ryan's two cents?
The guy who represented him was maybe Destitute?
That's the name of the scene.
So I was like, Destitute.
Let's hear it again.
It's a great scene.
Twitter ruined celebrities.
Afternoon, Counselor.
what do you want mr katie They're great at that age, ain't they?
All those discoverers ahead of them.
You're lucky, Cancellor.
My own daughter, she don't even know me after I went to the house.
The weird thing with this movie is he is a murderer.
He didn't do the crime.
He just didn't like the way the evidence was presented.
I see that.
So yeah, get back to that Jerry Cinnamon song.
Do we think it's a hit?
Hit or shit?
Hit or shit, folks.
You tell us.
Oh, we're debuting a new thing in the mailbag today.
It's called the suggestion box.
Okay, shush.
This is where my dad grew up.
There will be another place for you and me.
Endless time, love.
Nothing really matters really.
I hope one day long.
You can open up your eyes and you will see.
It's only destiny.
Where we go with this shit don't matter.
La la la la la la.
You're right, it's too close to sometimes.
It's like someone wanted to do sometimes, but they couldn't get the rights.
So the movie company just said, well, make a song like that.
And hire the same guy.
Yeah.
Which we did with Fights with Larry Barnes.
You know, we could put that on YouTube?
Yeah.
It's not Eye of the Tiger.
Yeah, no.
Nope.
It will not line up.
Do we have any pictures of my baseball stuff?
Let me see, y'all.
Baseball, we got two.
What do we got?
The problem is my son is in all the pictures, and I don't want to show my son.
Oh, I thought this was funny.
So the new Mets training stadium has these old legends, old Mets legend, photoshopped with newer guys, more recent guys.
But isn't it funny how they kept them segregated?
They look the same.
They look very similar.
Okay.
Teethy smile to the left.
Big eyebrows.
No, my point is that segregation continues.
And it's like, yeah, show everyone getting along from the 50s and 60s, or from the 60s till now.
But make sure the whites stay with the whites and the blacks stay with the blacks.
And make sure when the buses leave, there's a white bus and a black bus.
Okay?
What else?
What's the other picture?
Oh, yeah, I love this.
I'm sorry I didn't get the whole thing.
He stood up very rarely, but he made a shirt with, I think, a paintbrush.
That wasn't a marker, so it's really sloppy, but you could tell by the font that it was done with a brush, very slowly, maybe with like modeling paint.
And it said, MLB teams shop at Macy's.
The Wilpons, that's who owns the Mets, shop at flea markets.
Wow.
How weird is that?
What is that showing?
That they're blue collar and that they're...
They buy garbage players.
Once again, Ryan gets it wrong.
Also in the news about my trip.
God, it's hot in here.
How is it hot on a Winter's Day?
On a Winter's Day.
So get this.
So we're at the hotel, me and my son, and we're in Palm Beach because we were there for the Palm Beach game.
And someone goes, don't do housekeeping.
And then I go, what?
And I look at my son.
It's 10 p.m.
We're in bed.
Housekeeping.
And then the door opens.
I go, what the fuck are you doing?
He goes, oh, sorry.
And he's a black guy, but he has an accent.
And he has a clipboard and a bunch of towels.
And he goes, we just are checking our people.
Let's make sure they're okay.
And I go, what?
I've never heard of it.
I've been going to hotels my entire life.
And then obviously past 20 years, 30 years, post-vice, including Vice.
I mean, I've been in a hotel every weekend.
And have you ever in your life, not that you stay at hotels, but have you ever in your life heard of housekeeping at 10 p.m.?
It sounds illegal.
So then I think, and plus, you're supposed to knock and then wait a long ass time, then knock again, and then maybe use the card.
Yeah, but then why would you go into an empty room to check if what?
Did we have enough towels?
Yeah, that does.
I mean, housekeeping goes into empty rooms in the day, in the morning, right, Ryan?
Yeah.
Okay.
Very early.
So then I think, oh, some guy is a thief.
And so I call the front desk.
I go, I don't know if you know this, but there's some housekeeping just came by and walked into our room.
I'm ready to murder him, by the way, in my underwear.
And they go, oh, we don't know who that is, but we're sending security up.
Wow, so then I get dressed and I'm ready to go down.
I assume there'll be a guy in handcuffs who stole like the universal key, and the cops there and sirens, and I'll have to answer questions.
And I, the by the way, this guy was black, and the security guy was black, and the manager was black.
And he comes over and he's, he's got, he's about seven feet tall, and he's kind of missing an eye.
And he talks like this, like he leans back, so you're looking up through his nostrils when you talk to him.
And he said, Mr. Gavin, yes.
That was what we call a final check.
I couldn't tell if he had an accent or not.
He was so gigantic.
What the fuck is your screensaver?
Oh.
It's a Hey Arnold.
A children's show.
There's also that.
You have a children.
That's your favorite show, is it?
Hey, Arnold?
No, it's all right.
Anyway, and I go, so it's not someone who steals Universal Key?
And she goes, no one has access to her Universal Key.
She's getting pissy at me because I'm in a bad mood and I'm telling them that they've hired an incompetent.
And I go, yeah, I know no one has access to her key.
I said someone stole it.
That was my assumption.
But now I'm just realizing we're dealing with never before seen levels of incompetence.
What happened with that?
It just really pissed me off.
Fuck it.
Like, what if I was some girl and some giant black man walks into my room?
Does it matter what Russ is?
Sure.
It's just, that seems illegal.
What?
It seems like there would be some sort of protection against the customer.
Would you shut up?
Go back to Out for Bud.
Why would it be illegal for a maid to go into a hotel room?
Just to open the door?
How do you think maids get into hotel rooms?
Yeah, but at that hour.
That's bananas.
Wow.
Way to make me defend their fucking losers.
That one's pretty cool.
You didn't do a very good job with the Budweiser, though.
It looks like a bent sausage.
All right, next.
We saw this.
We've already done these.
These are all oldie spot goodies.
Yeah, we've seen all these, Ryan.
Why did you make a PowerPoint of something we've already seen?
Just figure add them in there, too.
There's just a handful.
Yep.
Classics.
Yep, great stuff.
Tim Teebau, there's these women who go to these Mets things.
There was three of them there.
They were there at five in the morning, hoping to get some early guys driving into the parking lot.
One of the women was about 50.
The other was 40.
So the 50-year-old looked like an old lesbian, long gray hair, ugly.
The Asian was just like a derivative Asian, no offense, who didn't look like anything.
She's like 30 or something.
And then there was kind of a chubby girl who was moderately attractive.
She looked like she was there just for blowjobs, which she wasn't.
No one wanted.
And they were there.
They were there from 5 a.m. till 9 a.m. waiting by the parking lot entrance.
And they got nothing.
And then they were there at the training, all the batting cage stuff when we were there.
Isn't that bizarre?
I think for a lot of these sad women, it's sort of like New Kids on the Block or InSync for mature women.
Like they know all their names, but they don't know anything about baseball.
And they don't care about home runs.
They just want to look into Tim Tebau's eyes.
Or the hunk who signed one of these balls.
What's his name?
Tyler Bashler.
You know what's funny about him?
Me and my son are wearing all Mets gear.
We walk up to Chipotle near the stadium.
And some guy sees us and goes, and opens the door for us.
It's like, well, that's really nice.
Kind of too nice, though.
And then I'm in the lineup going, that's kind of stupid, dude.
Because you just fucked yourself.
Because now my son has to order his burrito.
Then I order my burrito.
You just cost yourself 10 minutes.
Why did you do that?
And then my son noticed that he kind of looked at him like, yes, it's me in the flesh.
Oh.
So we started wondering what the fuck we had done.
And then my son looks up, arm tattoo Mets, and he sees the guy.
And he goes, holy shit, that's Tyler Bashler.
He was a relief pitcher, I think, last year.
And he pitched last night at last night's game, which we lost.
There's a weird thing they're doing now, and it's totally unethical.
They split the teams.
So the Mets had two games on Friday when we were there.
And half played the Cardinals, another half played the Marlins.
What?
Well, who gets the manager?
And that's because spring training doesn't count as real games.
They don't take it seriously.
But come on.
We're here to watch our team play, not half of the team.
Anyway, he was on one of the half teams.
And so I said, we had a ball and a pen, of course, and I said, hey, man, do you think you could, I don't want to bother you, but if you could just, and he's like, all right, all right.
I knew this was coming.
So we managed to save it.
And then I thought, I have to explain why I had my back to him this whole time.
We could have been riffing in the lineup.
And so what I did was I pretended I was flustered.
And that's why we weren't talking earlier because I hadn't summoned the courage yet.
So then I went, thanks a lot.
Thanks.
Good luck tonight.
Oh, stupid, stupid.
Come on.
I thought that would help.
That's better than not giving a hell about that.
That's better than having to Google him.
But I want to hear something super gay.
When he opened the door, he's a good-looking young man, you know, nice haircut, tattoos.
He's got his little fresh nikes on.
And I was thinking to myself, Florida Man is a corny cliche.
In fact, Florida Man is such a common headline.
You can look up your birth date.
Mine's, well, I'm not going to tell you what my birthday is.
But you look up your birthday with the word Florida Man, and you can find out the craziest Florida Man story.
My friend's Florida Man story is that a guy attached a gun to a weather balloon and shot himself in the head using a pulley system with another weather balloon.
So then after he died, the weather balloons Carried the gun away to the Caribbean.
And so his family can collect on the life insurance because he didn't commit suicide.
He was murdered.
He probably scuffled himself up, too, first to show there had been a struggle.
Anyway, I was thinking, yeah, okay, there's that Florida man, but there's also a Florida man who's a good-looking, young, hard-working young man who with his shit together, like that hunk, who just opened the door for us.
And then it turns out that Hunk was a major baseball star.
All right, that's enough baseball for one lifetime.
Let's finish off these out for buds.
Oh, we did.
We did.
All right.
I think it's time for the mailbag.
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah.
I wouldn't lie.
Ryan, shut up, you don't have a dad.
Let's turn our eyes together's mailbag.
Let me touch it.
Um.
Mailback it censored.
Or mailback it free.
This guy is like, I sent a.
I thought the Gary Nightmare had ended.
Attaches my video question.
And then there's no video attached.
So then he says, I sent it in a follow-up email.
No, there's no follow-up.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, I'm not seeing that at all.
A-R-Y-S?
Anyway, a lot of negative letters about Gary's Mailbag.
Fuck you.
Gary's Mailbag and Fights with Larry Barnes are my favorite shows outside of Friday Night's All Right.
And Sofenpook Re Patriot and Biggs with Joe Biggs.
And Copper Gun.
And Loomard.
Yeah, I love those shows, so fuck you.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I got it.
It's in a separate email.
I know.
He said a separate email, but it doesn't come up here when I look up his name.
I found it.
Whoa.
Video question for Gary.
Gary, what are your thoughts on the current state of the economy in the stock market?
With more and more cases globally being discovered of the coronavirus, it's taken quite an effect on the stock market in a negative way.
Most investors are now taking their money and putting it into safe havens like gold and government-backed bonds.
I personally, my 401k plan is invested in bellwether stocks that follow the market trend.
So should I stick with the current bellwether stocks or should I go more conservative like gold or government-backed bonds?
Let me know.
Thanks, pal.
Keep up the good work.
What do you guess his answer will be?
Well, you got to do what you think is best.
Well, it depends.
If you want to, you know, see a trending positive curve forward, then maybe you can go there for the long run.
Maybe he'll say, look, if you were to graph the stock market from 1900 till now, you see a 45-degree trend.
So just ride it out.
It can't last for long.
And if you sell something, you might have actualized losses that you wouldn't normally have if you just waited through.
No, he's going to say, he's going to say, you got to do what you think is best.
And then when we say, well, the coronavirus, the Dow is down more than a thousand points.
Do you think that's consequential?
Yes.
So what should we do?
Well, it's up to you.
That's what I love about Gary.
His advice is so useless.
Matthew Walkup.
This video.
No, no, no.
This is from Anthony.
5% Sturgeon's Law.
Gav, by the way, it's called Sturgeon's Law.
I used to say 5% of everything was crap.
I was so proud of my theory and would pontificate and throw it around at parties and stuff until I was told that someone already thought of it.
Some sci-fi writer named Sturgeon.
Sturgeon's Law.
No, Sturgeon's Law is 90% of everything is crap.
Right?
You want to look that up, Brian?
Sturgeon's Law, sure.
So that's got nothing to do with what I'm saying.
I never even said 95% of everything is crap.
That's a totally different law.
Theodore Sturgeon, 90% of everything is crap.
Yeah.
So dude, that's not even close to what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is when you see a pattern, it's generally 95% true.
And there's always a 5% exception.
5% of people should go on to secondary education.
95% should get trades.
5% of women should be in the workforce.
95% should stay at home.
5% of the people in prison deserve to be there.
They're incompatible with society.
95% shouldn't be there.
It's bad decisions or a terrible welfare system or some drug bullshit that got them there.
So it was 595.
It's like a magical number.
Nothing to do with Sturgeon's Law whatsoever.
This is one of the oldest symbols.
Oh, this is the guy who sent Max in prison the meme book.
They might not accept it because it's hardcover.
I believe he got it, dude.
So maybe they don't give hardcover books to people, but they do to Max because they like him a lot because he's wrongfully imprisoned.
What else do I have with the blue flag?
I flag the good letters blue.
This is from Megan, female fans.
Dear Gavin and Ryan, I'm a nearby fan from the notorious Blue State, Connecticut.
You should move to Darien, my dear.
Darien is Trump country.
And the other day there was this black actor, gay dude, who's on this show, and we go, yo, you that empire nigga.
And we were wearing ski masks and MAGA hats on top of the ski masks.
So when you get a MAGA hat and you're wearing a ski mask, you have to get a size bigger because of the wool.
That is true.
It will stretch over time, but who's got time for that?
We told him this is MAGA country.
And then we got a Thin little, almost like a shoelace.
Thin little rope.
Tiny rope.
Tiny rope.
A lot of bleach.
That we put around his neck as a noose that he left on for a long time.
A lot of bleach.
We poured bleach on him to try to make him white.
Didn't work.
A little bit doesn't work.
We didn't rob him for some reason.
No robbery.
No robbery.
We were hungry for Subway 2.
And we happened to recognize him.
This is a show we watch.
We watch the show all the time.
We stole his sub.
Give me that.
Back home to mommy.
How about a no-inch sub for you?
I just wanted to be...
No, I will not admit that.
I will not shit on my friends no matter what.
No.
Maybe after Trump gets elected and this fucking crazy culture war is over and we come out on top, maybe then I can start being a little bitch.
But right now, I'm all about unity.
Ben Shapiro, love you, Ben.
All the never Trumpers, love you.
Well, hold on now.
There's some fucking real cunts on the other side.
So we're not going to watch that.
Like Bill Crystal.
A lot of fucking virtue signals.
And baby, young Jaby.
Baby, Yuck JB agrees.
Baby Yuck Jaby agrees with me.
You know who you really support is Trump.
Let's take these one step at a time.
He's lucky that his shirt is so loose on his neck.
I got to get all new shirts.
My neck got fat.
It looks like freedom.
By the way, tomorrow's episode, I will be applying Rogane to this.
Joe Rogan?
Joe Rogan.
Wow, that's hairy, man.
Because Clomiphene, my testosterone booster, has made me go bald.
So I quit.
But I'll explain all that tomorrow.
This is the Mets episode.
I am 27 years old.
I just wanted to be one more reminder that you have female fans.
Let's say viewers.
I am also probably a little sexist towards women, but they are highly neurotic.
Anyway, I sent a picture because I wanted you to rate me using your famed scale.
No hard feelings, I promise.
I like you more than a friend, and I want to fuck you with my heels on.
It's not as funny when girls do it.
Yeah.
It gives me a boner, especially when they're 27 and in great shape.
You know what I've noticed on my computer?
Double-clicking attachments doesn't open them anymore.
That's bow craps.
Isn't that weird?
That sucks.
So I have to drag it into preview.
There's some skulls there on the back so that she's like, badass, you know?
Yeah, I'm not looking for her personality.
That's a scarf.
Let's see here.
So she's got very dark eyes, like haemophilia eyes.
Why did you take her picture down?
She's got hemophilia.
No, put her and us on the same fucking thing.
Why is this so complicated?
Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
Obviously, very attractive.
Young girl, great figure.
I like brunettes.
The dark around the eyes, I kind of like.
What do you think, Rygai?
Six is way too mean.
Seven feels reasonable.
I'll go with you on that.
Yeah, it seems about right.
6.9 feels mean.
I know she's going to be disappointed, by the way.
When girls get called a seven, they're furious.
They're like, I'm a 10.
Okay, you're a 10.
And you know what I also, when any girl asks me, because it's fun when it's dudes at a bar and you're like, what do you think you are?
And then we're all laughing because we've never looked at each other that way.
And we're like, and then like one thing I like to say to men is, do you think you're more handsome than me?
And usually they'll go, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, always.
I think that's pretty obvious.
No matter what.
They're almost embarrassed.
Like, I don't know why you brought this up.
I don't know why you want to fight Tyson Fury.
I don't know why you just self-deprecated by asking.
I don't need why you just picked a fight with one of the best looking guys in the world.
And then a girl will show up and she'll be like, what am I?
And then the joke is gone.
And now I'm like, well, let's see.
You're fat, so that's not good.
And you've got weird nostrils that are asymmetrical, so your face looks weird.
You can't, it's not fun anymore.
Yeah.
Anyway, I could go as high as 7.2.
I don't think I could go below a 7.
I know you want to be an 8, but come on, lady.
We can't be throwing 8s around like it ain't no thing.
Like it ain't no thank.
I like the personality.
I like the little hints that she's like a rockin' chick.
The skulls?
Yeah, the purple...
Yeah, she's...
What that?
This guy says, this is from Jacob.
And we haven't built a graphic for this, but Ryan, in the future, could you make a little thing called suggestion box?
Suggestion box.
It's time for the suggestion box.
And I've noticed we get suggestions on a daily basis.
People would like us to get Sam Hyde.
They'd like us to get that kangaroo guy, Atheism is Unstoppable.
They'd like us to get Nick Fuentes.
They'd like us to...
So try to frame him a little differently.
Okay.
I actually had a suggestion for a template.
I'll try out.
If you like it, maybe we'll do it.
Okay.
For what?
The suggestion box?
So that note for Gary.
For Larry.
Sorry.
So he will never get one.
We're ignoring that.
Right.
No, I thought about this before this guy.
Okay, from Jacob, do an episode in a dog pound.
That's a fun idea.
And let busted Jamie C. Princess, whatever the hell that is.
What is Busted Jamie C Princess?
I think it's anti-Semitic.
No?
Again, terrible theory.
That's what you call the girl who works there?
They do look pretty busted usually.
And they always have tattoos of dogs on them, don't they?
Whenever I see those women at those dog pens, I just want to buy them a calculator.
You're not helping.
There's not a finite amount of dogs.
They're infinite.
They're like insects.
Go save some fucking cockroaches while you're at it.
Go save some rats.
How are they different?
I mean, they're smarter, I guess.
They're cuter, but I just want to save animals with big eyes.
Oh, really?
The snake population is doing really badly.
Not my problem.
They're gross.
It's like a more intense Build-A-Bear shop.
Yeah.
A vet in the hospital.
And aren't you just encouraging them to make more strays when you bring them back to life and fucking feed them?
Just shoot them in the head.
Give them to Chinese people for lunch.
Give them to PETA.
They'll kill them for you.
And let Busted Jamie C. Princess pick out five dogs for you to pet while you look into the camera and say, I feel nothing.
You're so full of shit.
Thank you for your suggestion, Jacob.
I'll be promptly crumpling this up.
Like, I really want to go get the releases, find a dog pound, go there with the noise.
There's shit everywhere at those things.
They fucking reek.
And find some animal that's been shipped up here from a kill shelter in Kentucky and pet his gross fur and pretend I give a shit about this dog.
I will feel nothing.
Yes, puppies are cute.
Doy, we spent thousands of years making these animals into these wimpy little pussies, although wolf puppies are cute too.
But the fact that you love dogs makes you look like a loser because we bred them to love you.
So we make this animal love you unconditionally.
It used to be a wolf.
You know what a wolf does?
It waits for you to be not looking so it can sink its teeth into your neck.
That's what they naturally are.
We turned a wolf into that, that freak.
And you could put a wolf pup next to that and it would still look immoral.
And you're like, it's my friend.
God, you're a child if you think puppies are, well, if you spend more than a second noticing that puppies are cute.
Baby alligators are cute.
We went on this thing in Florida.
We rented one of those big boats with the propeller on the back.
Oh, I had a voice note too.
I want to do a video.
I think I made a, I think I recorded it on my phone, but it'll probably be hard to find.
There's a baby, uh...
Doge.
Doge.
The 10 cops have killed themselves short of the basement.
The environmentalist, I think, of a mother of earth and all that shit that's on the floor.
He comes with an actual redneck.
And, uh, he says, yeah, those are crackles.
I call them pro third crackles.
They hang around the hub, my boat, looking for bugs.
Okay, that was an interesting story.
I don't know.
I was driving that thing.
I kept coming up with the best ideas.
It's a real ideas machine.
But I noticed the guy I rented it from, there was something on the front of the boat when we were taking it out.
And I go, what's that?
And he goes, oh, I call them crows, but they're cracklers, I think he called them.
Like the real name?
And he goes, they sit on the boat, on the front of my boat, hoping to catch bugs and stuff that may have got hit or are stuck to the front of it or something like that.
They're looking for food.
And I thought, isn't that a perfect example of how environmentalists that you see in the city, that you come across, the ones that say, how dare you?
They don't know any specifics.
Like they go, this is Mother Nature.
We only get one planet.
Mother Nature's hella pissed.
Look, there's plastic on the beaches somewhere.
I don't know where.
I don't know why the plastic gets there.
But they don't know anything about nature.
Then you talk to a guy who hunts ducks and you hear him talk about the cattails.
And actually, there's two different types of grass there.
I know they look the same, but you see these tall ones?
This is where all the starlings hang out.
This is where the starlings, they'll kick you right out of your nest, too.
But starlings and the cardinals always competed here.
Starlings always won.
Just they outnumbered them.
So we don't even know what to do.
I mean, Cardinals have left this whole area.
And then you see that area there, that used to be all salt water.
Now we keep it pressured with these locks and freshwater stays there just to pressurize it, keep saltwater out.
Because as soon as that salt water comes in, you lose all the wildlife, deer gone, everything's gone.
And you think, oh, you actually know about the actual environment.
And you don't use these motherhood statements like, mother nature is our only nature and trees have feelings.
If you're speaking in generalizations, you don't know what you're talking about.
You don't really care.
Ducks Unlimited, the redneck who rented me that boat, these people actually care about the real environment.
And that's why they know the names of all the birds and all the vermin.
But show the baby alligators?
Mother Nature's hella pissed.
Shut the fuck up, Homo.
There they are.
Now those are cute.
Am I weeping inside?
Do I have to take one home?
I think the guy who rented me the boat feeds them.
He says, it's legal to feed him.
I don't feed him.
Really?
Why do they keep approaching the boat?
And when I go near the cooler, they really, all the babies can't get enough of it.
Why do they know your name?
And they keep repeating.
Why is your nickname Nuggets?
You fucking liar.
Because of course it's good for him, right, to have alligators.
Dude, we must have seen 100 alligators.
And then there's these hunting lodges, hunting camps.
And it's supposed to be a big deal.
Like, oh, you know, the Driscolls, Driscolls fruit?
They got this beautiful palace out there.
Grandfather Dan, you're not allowed to build new ones, but they got it air-conditioned.
And you go see it.
It's this fucking shack.
It's a big shack.
And I think, I don't, I'm in a swamp.
Like, I do not get Floridians.
Their idea of, these people are billionaires, probably.
And they have this shack.
And the hunting season for alligators is like August to September or something, August to October.
So it must be 100 degrees in the humid heat.
Oh.
No, thank you.
That was too much of indecence.
You can't go in the water.
It's not like you can go for a swim there.
You'll get eaten.
I'm afraid of those things.
You should be.
Yep.
Anyway, thank you for your suggestion.
That's going in the garbage.
Next at the suggestion box.
Kevin, I think it's really charitable of you to take Ryan under your wing and be a father figure for him.
However, using your show as a platform for bonding with him is self-sabotage.
If you want to help Ryan, give him a job, a leg up.
How about you just give him a weekly show or just have some shows where you interact with him and some where you don't?
He is Completely distracting you from the issues which need to be discussed and destroying the magic which created your following.
Dan.
So get rid of Ryan is a suggestion.
You ugly.
That's a great suggestion.
Thank you for that.
I'll be thinking about that for hours and hours and hours.
I want Ryan as my engineer, and if you don't like that, then turn it off.
Go fuck yourself.
Wow, good job, Ryan.
Right, when you're trying to defend your position.
He's right.
Copper Cab is funny.
He is funny.
People who don't think so don't get the joke.
I agree.
I obviously agree.
He's on my network.
That said, however, he needs a little bit of direction and input from you, Gavin.
Just a bit of creative and editorial to make sure he's on brand.
Like, this is why I'm starting this new segment, The Suggestion Box.
That's a good one.
Go start your own fucking thing.
Like, why are you talking to?
I'm 50 years old and you're talking to me like you're my boss.
It sounds like HR department.
Yeah.
Like, who the fuck are you, MJP?
Can I see your network?
Can I see your shows?
Can I see your followers?
Can I see your videos?
How many viral videos have you made?
Why are you telling me how to do my fucking job?
Where do you get the arrogance?
It's really bizarre to me.
I grew up watching stuff, listening to records, reading books.
The idea that I would send like the writer of a book, hey, just finished your last book.
Try to have less footnotes and sort of focus on the story more and try to have more women in the next book.
Okay, thank you.
You have a self-esteem problem, millennials, and it's too much self-esteem.
You better fucking read this.
I'm not some millennial fuckstick who thinks they know it all.
Whoops.
I'm your age and spent most of my adult life working for ad agencies.
Ooh, ad agencies.
I had an ad agency, and as I keep saying, every time people ask me about that business, I've never seen people with less talent make more money.
It is a disaster.
Oh, here's an interesting point.
My kingdom for a pen?
That would be a horse.
From Shakespeare.
King Richard is some shit.
Ryan's ignorance must really inflate your ego.
Yeah, I wasn't kidding when I thought that the saying was, my kingdom for a pen.
Is it inconceivable to you, sir, that I wanted a pen really badly and I took the phrase, my kingdom for a horse, and applied it to my personal need for a pen at that particular moment?
Is it conceivable to you, sir, that I was being hyperbolic about my need for a pen and dipping into the canon of ancient literature?
Is that possible, sir?
Jesus.
And then he comes up with more tips.
Anyways, love you guys.
Hire Sam Hyde.
Thank you.
Wow, I never thought of that.
That never occurred to me.
Dump loomer and all the unfunny shit, meaning unfunny to him.
That's going again in the suggestion box, which, by the way, is right here.
It looks a lot like a trash can.
It looks a lot like a garbage, the suggestion box.
Ain't nobody got time for this.
All right.
I think I'm done.
Stop sending me suggestions.
I've been doing, I started Vice in 1994.
How old were you in 1994?
Since then, I've gone to create many, many things.
And I didn't do it with input from people like you.
I'm not looking for tips.
I have a vision of what this network will be.
I have a vision of who will be on it.
And I'm not looking for advice from someone who doesn't have a network.
Got it?
All right.
Oh, I never even got into the news.
Harvey Weinstein guilty.
I don't know, man.
I can't believe we're living in a culture that's so fucked up that I'm actually defending Harvey Weinstein.
But like, look at this one.
Count two, Criminal Sex Act.
Guilty.
The charge involves non-consensual oral or anal sex.
Former TV production assistant Mimi Haley said Weinstein performed oral sex on her without her consent in 2006.
How is that different from Brett Kavanaugh?
There's no evidence.
She just said this happened 14 years ago.
And then they also talk, even the Post, which is supposed to be kind of right-wing, is saying how great it is that we finally caught this bastard and the poor women who would keep going back to him and accepting his gifts.
Shouldn't you be chastising those women for trivializing bona fide rape?
Anyway, at least the good news with Harvey Weinstein is it showed that Hollywood's a disgusting, corrupt shithole of very expensive prostitutes who will suck your dick to get in a movie.
But I think one of the reasons he's really being vilified, too, is Hollywood is ashamed of itself.
And it's sort of like if you did an expose on Islam and they could say, well, it's just ISIS.
It's just this one bad group.
The rest of us are wonderful.
So he's a scapegoat and they're saying it's just Harvey Weinstein.
The casting couch hasn't existed for decades and doesn't totally dominate the culture of Hollywood.
It's just that one guy.
Fucking bullshit.
Bullshit.
And then Michael Jordan crying his eyes out because Kobe Bryant died.
Can you look that up?
I couldn't find it.
Yep.
He said he doesn't want to be a meme again because he remember the crying?
Yeah.
Do blacks cry differently than us?
And when I say us, I mean Japanese, Puerto Ricans, Scottish people.
Yeah.
Let's see him.
That one?
No, I mean the volume of tears.
Like I cry all the time now.
If I see any war movie, I'm blubbering.
I even cried in the car listening to Under Pressure, that crescendo part where it's like, no, no, no, no, no, can we give love one more chance?
Don't wear sunglasses, you dunce.
And don't shave your head if you ever want to meet a man again.
That's what that black pastor who was with Roger Stone said.
He goes, yeah, there's a black woman on the panel, on the jury, but she shaved her head.
And you know what that means.
That means I don't need no man.
What?
Turn it up.
I'll have to look at another crime.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Now he's got me.
I'll have to look at another crime meme for the Knicks.
Taking to De Niro.
Look at those tears.
There's two separate rivers.
Like each eye has two rivers.
That's four rivers of tears.
What the hell is that?
I told my wife I wasn't going to do this because I didn't want to see that for the next three or four years.
Okay.
That is what Kobe Bryant is.
Finally, a basketball player with a suit that fits.
They always look so stupid.
Don't they?
Yeah.
And Taylors, can you not just figure out that someone is very, very tall and you have to adjust accordingly?
Right.
They always look like weird broom closets.
It's pretty bad.
It's embarrassing.
Especially when it's a double-breasted suit.
I think they skipped their second fitting.
They're just like, no.
You already fitted it.
He already did that shit.
is perfect.
Okay, As long as it's sharks.
Find that football player crying during the national anthem.
There was tears that were leaving his eyes, jumping through the air, doing swan dives, and then landing like here.
His tears were catching air.
They were coming out so much.
Like if I saw, I would have to watch nine World War II movies, and I might get one to come down like this.
Maybe.
But usually what I get is just like moisture.
There he is.
I rarely get them to break and come down.
Do they jump out of his face?
Doing swan dives off of my eyelid.
Offensive tackle Alejandro Villanueva is drawing a lot of attention for breaking ranks with the other players who remain deep in the targets.
This isn't it, you dumb fucking target.
That looks just like the guy.
I saw the icon on your screen and I thought, oh, Ryan's nailed it.
The middle one there.
Fuck stick.
There we go.
Look at that.
There was another one.
Look at that.
Yeah, that one.
This is new to me.
Look at that.
Like, if you were dehydrated, I mean, I know they're salty, but you could drink that and it would quench your thirst.
Look at those things.
Go back to the beginning.
Well, it's Bigboat, our director.
That's more than like jizz if you haven't beat off in two months.
What the hell is going on?
Are you on drugs?
Is that sterile?
Look at that.
I wonder if he's embarrassed, and that's why he did the whole like over-the-top thing.
I love you, America.
That was intentional.
I love crying like that.
I'm not freaked out at all.
I'm normal.
They came by Moreno last.
He probably cries when he has sex.
Hopefully.
He's got to get some of that out.
Drenched.
Okay, final video.
Thank you to the viewer who sent this.
It's not advice.
Watch this, folks.
Oh, shit.
What can't I do?
I can't juggle worth a fuck.
I got this.
I learned to do this as an only child before my brother was born.
It was a book called How to Juggle.
This is a video some guy sent about cancel culture.
And I thought, oh, great, a fucking nerd comedian making a video about how much Trump sucks.
And then I watched it and went, I have to put this on the show.
This is fucking perfect.
My name is Mark, and I'm an internet tattletale.
I spend about three, four hours a day combing through tweets and podcasts, just looking for anything anyone said that can ruin their life.
You're canceled, you're canceled.
There's no greater feeling than when you surprise someone.
This is Will Summer.
This is Andy Campbell.
This is Christopher Mateus.
Nas.
This is all these Nas.
Oh, no.
What's that guy that Crowder had a problem with?
I don't know, Ryan.
Don't interject if you have nothing to say.
All of these tattletale journalists that have no interest in creating...
Yes.
Oh, I mean, no, I'm offended.
My goal in life is to prove that everyone's a Nazi.
Okay, four minutes and 20 seconds.
I'm just time-stamping any racist jokes I hear on a podcast.
I've never actually created anything myself.
What I do is find things that other people created and ruin them.
I don't like for anyone to have fun.
Joe Rogan canceled.
I'm a very venomous person.
I actually used to be a big fan of Louis C.K., but now I tell people I never thought he was funny.
My dream is to one day cancel Vince Vaughn.
I'm gonna tattle on this guy so hard as soon as I'm done my pee.
Mario Lopez canceled.
There's no greater thrill than when you just get someone fired from their job and they can't provide for their family anymore.
And I hope to one day get some pussy from being a tattletale.
What can I say?
I live to be a little bitch.
Quality, huh?
That's good.
Wait a minute.
Go to that let's cancel Logan Paul thing.
Provide for them.
Maria Sherman.
And what's the source?
Because there are probably a lot of Maria Shermans.
Maybe just go Maria Sherman Logan Paul or something.
GMG Union.
I gotta see her.
They always look similar.
Actually, they kind of look like that girl that we gave a seven in the letters page.
Sorry, lady.
But you're a very attractive young lady and you're a cool person.
But oh, so it's Jezebel.
Click on that first one.
Yeah, okay, so now just look up her name and then with the word Jezebel.
That's how you do your job?
Images?
Oh, she's a fat, ugly bitch.
Who knew?
That's the kind of person who wants us canceled.
They're not usually that ugly.
But what a hideous cow.
And again, when you see these pictures, these are the ones that she chose, right?
At an angle.
Don't look at my fat self or covering the neck with a scarf.
But look at her.
Look at this disgusting pig deciding to cancel Logan Paul.
I think it's because he said abortion is wrong or something.
And don't question my abortions.
What have we done to our women?
What have we done to our women?
We've ruined them.
And if you want to point that out, you could get in trouble.
If you venerate the housewife and say, how many women are genuinely happy in the workforce?
I mean, and look at what they do.
They end up doing woman-mom-type things, serving food, showing you a house, organizing some man's appointments.
They're just someone else's mommy, someone else's wife.
So point that out.
Get fired.
Get in trouble.
Be brave.
And never stop fighting.
It's only destiny.
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