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Feb. 24, 2020 - Get Off My Lawn - Gavin McInnes
01:24:15
S02E128 - CHINA SUCKS [2020-02-24 - S02E128 - CHINA SUCKS]
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Time Text
That's Muramasa.
He's from Guernsey.
Isn't Guernsey a tiny island off the coast of Spain?
Or is it a council estate in East London, too?
I don't know.
If he's from that little fucking island, I don't know shit about that island.
But it doesn't strike me as poor.
Wouldn't it be tourism central if the Brits own an island?
The Brits do.
Guernsey is an island off the coast of Spain.
But he seems like a real East Londoner council estate gazer.
Where he says, my mate's say I've changed.
What are you showing that for?
If you haven't found it yet.
Watching Ryan do research.
In the preview, it said Muramasa.
Oh, really?
So he is from the island?
Yeah, that bloke's from the island, yeah.
Isn't it like a beta?
Isn't it just a fucking super tourism central?
Anyway, I guess it's got poor kids.
That reminds me of the streets that, um, the band streets.
His real name's Alex Crosson, by the way.
Yes.
Streets is a middle-class kid, though.
Maybe this is another middle-class kid pretending to be a yob, an oi boy, a working class, a dead-end yob.
So he's having a surge in popularity right now, in case any of you old people give a shit what the kids are into in Britain.
He actually, his big shit hit was Love Sick with Aesop Rocky.
I think all the S's are dollar signs, so it's kind of hard to find that.
No, the second one.
Yeah, that one.
But I think it was a phone call.
BEZE ROLS.
What?
That's the first time.
performance.
Come on.
Oh, that's my client.
*music*
I hate those fucking backpacks.
The weather cold, the weather so.
Chill, chilly, willy penguin feathered rope.
Cousin Sippin' Pro, yeah, that methods pro-methasine, yeah, stepping stone.
Thank God.
The Industrial Revolution is over, right?
Kids aren't forced to work all day.
can focus on other things like smoking weed.
But you're back and young and you're hella grown.
Affluence has not been kind to the poor.
I think they were better in bonafide poverty.
Throw something at that hardworking man.
Steel is vehicle.
Think he's going to deliver that pizza to where it's supposed to go?
Maybe he's just helping out.
He got famous.
I think Moramassa did a cover of, what was it, Walk It Back by Haim?
Haim were cool.
Haim is a group of Jewish girls who grew up in LA, which always weirded me out.
I'm weirded out by people who grew up in New York City and Los Angeles.
Walking away.
Not that my kids' life is so different.
Like my kids don't just walk outside and start playing, although I guess my eldest boy does.
But they have play dates and fucking clubs and this sport and that sport.
Organized play.
But LA just seems so unkid-friendly to me.
Wait, let's hear more of that.
He's a real like DJ guy.
Kind of reminds me of the 90s.
I was hearing loud sounds Suffering till I suffer in the feminine You see, now I'm on Coming around Coming around, coming around I'm walking away I'm walking away That sounds like the original.
He was on Jimmy Fallon recently.
He jumped up on the desk with his shirt off.
Well, friends, saw you change.
I say, deal with it.
Deal, deal, deal with it.
All right, that's enough in Nora Masa.
Slow Tot.
Yay, we made it.
Hey, Jimmy.
I wanted to focus today's episode on China and how much it sucks.
Because all countries suck.
If you're not West, you're not just not the best, you suck.
I mean, what's a non-Western culture country both that doesn't suck?
Japan, I guess.
What about Austral?
Does Australia count?
Australia's Western.
Okay.
But, like, maybe, you know, Armenians are cool.
They speak Jesus' language, don't they?
Like, the same language he spoke.
What was that called again?
I forget.
But, wow.
Druid?
No, no.
It's an A word.
Aramaic.
Aramaic.
Yeah, it's kind of hard to think.
But I saw this.
I've been watching footage of the Hong Kong police and the virus taking over China and them being locked in their Homes, and there's this tone from the local news.
That's when I say local, I mean American.
There's this tone from our news saying, Can you believe this?
They are welding people into their apartments.
And I'm like, Yeah, it's China, it's a fucking shithole.
You might as well say, Do you believe this?
They are killing albinos in Africa right now and drinking their blood because they think it's magic.
And in South Africa, they're raping babies because they think it cures AIDS.
Yeah, I know, it's Africa.
It's a fucking hellhole.
Of course, you've got some horror stories.
So, check out this.
I sent you this video as a separate thing.
Yeah, so she's complaining to us about the virus and how people are being treated there.
And I could not give less of a shit.
By the way, didn't most of you jump on a plane the second you found out about the quarantine?
Yeah, I know.
Just can that language be more annoying?
Sounds like duck.
Are you putting tiny spider babies in my ear that have rabies?
Yes, correct.
Correct.
By the way, you're fucked now.
Oh, yeah.
You're dead.
I don't know if you'd like being in prison for the rest of your life or being fucking beaten to death.
No one, only one, only one, only one happened.
Is there a harder country to pick your assailant out of a lineup of people?
Actually, that's considered racist, but the face recognition software is having a lot of trouble in China.
Slanty eyes, yellow skin.
Yes, a lot of people.
She'd have to be wearing the same shirt.
That's what they could bank on.喝茶,��留,����,法��是他们��的。他们能说����多年就能����多年。��师都没有用的。 I know.
No.
Do you get what I'm saying?
Like, yeah, I've been screaming this for a hundred years.
It's a fucking shithole.
And by the way, the whole virus you brought on yourself and the fact that the government is treating you like human garbage, yeah, that's Chinese culture.
That's communism.
And the thing that pisses me off is when we treat it nice and we say, oh, it's just different than us.
That's like saying a tall person is different than us or someone with curly hair, a fellow American who's black or has an Afro is different than us.
No, this isn't like that.
That's a minor difference.
Chinese is a major difference.
And when you treat it like us, you're saying communism is similar to capitalism.
No.
We are seeing the fruits of communism right before our eyes.
And we're going, well, I mean, it's kind of like us.
No, it's nothing like us.
So when they're in shit, we should be, well, not gloating and laughing, but going, see, let's look at communism in action.
What a fucking hellhole.
All right, go back to her.
I don't know how long we should do her.
I can't see it.
One person will be sacrificed, two people will be sacrificed.
The war is definitely going to be with blood and meat.
Yeah, we had a revolution in 1776.
I want to stand out.
I will be able to stand out.
I will be able to stand out.
I will be sacrificed for my parents, for my family, for my future life.
I will be able to live for free.
What happened?
I was very dangerous.
I know.
But I am not able to suffer.
I am not able to suffer.
Is this technically snuff?
Because that woman will be...
Wowie.
That's more precarious than those Russian climbing videos.
We had a revolution and kicked out the British.
So I wish you nothing but the best.
And that makes a good segue to the core of today's show, which is China sucks.
Deal with it.
No options in his life, give me nothing.
Every second you waste is a second closer to the pearly gates.
China sucks.
China blows.
Chinese people, genetically, great people.
Chinese Americans, I love.
Lucy Liu, smoke show.
She's older than me.
I'd eat her shit for a mile just to kiss her ass.
Caroline, what's her name?
The other chick?
Constance Wu, smoke show.
I like them when they become Americanized, like Chinese food.
I love it in America, where it's like chicken balls, and they've taken out all the caterpillars and dead ants.
And it's things that I don't think Chinese people even make.
Like General Cao's chicken.
Can you even get that in China?
I don't think so.
I lived in China, by the way, so I know what I'm talking about.
I've worked with Chinese.
I've lived with Chinese.
I'm not just throwing this out there.
And this is the problem with a lot of these sort of multicultural egalitarians where they go, we're all the same.
It's just different skin color, man.
Red, green.
No, other cultures suck.
And it's not a racial thing.
Russian culture sucks.
Eastern Europe blows.
When they come here and they assimilate, they become awesome people.
So I'm not shitting on genetically Chinese people.
I'm shitting on China and their culture.
And I'm not, this is not Asia.
I mean, I have my beefs with Japan and Korea, but that's for another video.
This is focused on China.
Oh, yeah, Ronnie Chang and Ken Jong are cool too.
So, I want to give you how many reasons am I up to here?
25?
I want to give you 25 well-versed, well-researched, lived reasons why China sucks balls.
Number one, they eat fucking bats.
Who eats bats?
Eating rats is gross.
Eating bats is a whole other universe of gross.
When you see a bat, you're supposed to freak the fuck out.
Not go, mmm, what are you doing?
I was in Costa Rica once.
Oh, many times.
We had a house there.
And the ceiling fan was on.
A bat came in, hit its head on the ceiling fan, fell down on the ground, and it was there unconscious.
It wasn't dead.
It had just been knocked out.
This happens to birds all the time, by the way.
So when you see a bird that hit your window lying on the ground, don't assume it's dead and just throw it in the garbage.
Give it some time to come to, as my grandmother would say.
And I stood up on the bed and I went, holy fucking shit, there's a bat right there.
Holy fucking shit, there's a bat right there.
Because I was freaked out.
My wife was going equally hysterical.
We wrapped it in a towel, put it outside, opened the towel, thought, I guess in an hour, we'll throw it out if it's really dead, but I don't think it's dead.
Then it flew away.
But imagine going, what about some butter on that?
What if I put some soup on it?
Look at this shit.
She might be the one who started this whole mess.
I think she's like a TV host.
There's not even any meat there.
And the other thing that drives me nuts about the Chinese is it's not like deep fried or cut into pieces.
Every time you see what they eat, it's like.
I think it comes from the opium famine where they had no money.
Yeah.
I think it comes from the opium famine where they had no money.
And they just, they were starving to death because they did too much opium, dumbasses.
Even though you're 40,000 years older than us, you still make these stupid mistakes like get addicted to opium.
And they had to eat cats and rats to live.
Okay, that's fine.
Venezuelans are doing it now, but don't make it an integral part of your culture.
They have a saying there, if it moves, it's food.
So a caterpillar is food.
A bat is food.
I mean, it's like they're trying to outgross each other.
All right.
Oh, yeah.
Just to stick with this, eat bats.
Have you seen these Chinese markets?
Look at this.
Look at this shit.
This is where the Wuhan, where it started, is bad, but it's not unique.
I would go all over the place.
Even in Taiwan, you'll go to places and you'll see...
You're going to put those behind me?
In post?
No, do it live.
They're here right now.
Because then I can talk about them.
Look at this.
What the fuck is this thing?
Oh, so here they are eating rats.
Those look delicious, don't they?
No, no, wait, those aren't rats.
Those dogs.
They eat dogs all the time.
Dogs are on the menu.
They raise dogs.
In Taipei, in Taiwan, where I lived, on the roof, they had these cages full of dogs.
Cages that were just barely bigger than a dog.
A Tommy Robinson cell for a dog.
And they were sweaty and they were wet.
I don't know how they got wet.
Maybe it was sweat.
I don't know.
And they're bloody, too, because they would attack each other through the grate.
And so I broke in.
There's so little crime there in Taiwan that your key fits a bunch of locks.
So I opened the lock to their cages, let them go free.
This is a crazy story.
One of the dogs went, thanks, dude.
Ran down the stairs and out the door.
And the other dog had been so used to being in this cage, it was broken.
And it just stayed in the cage, wet and bloody and just staring.
And then the other dog, I could hear it on the street.
We were about a five-story building, small building, barking.
And the bark I sensed was like, the fuck, dude, let's go.
And the other dog was just going, I'm dead inside.
So you know what happened?
That first dog came back up the stairs and was looking at that dog in the cage going, what the fuck's going on?
Gavin just freed us.
And he just stayed in there.
So then I go, well, I'm going to get in shit here and I'm happy to get in shit and risk this if you're free.
But if you guys don't want to be free, then I'm locking you back up because it's lose-lose as far as right now goes.
And so the other dog waited and that guy wouldn't leave.
So I just went, all right, I closed the cage and the guy who wouldn't leave.
I couldn't get him out, by the way, too.
Like I would go to pull him.
Okay, so you're in.
And then I said to the other guy, you got to get in there.
And he sort of went, I get it, I get it.
And he walked into the cage and I locked it up where they will be eaten.
There's a huge moral there.
And then when I got back downstairs, I was living in like a boarding house with a bunch of people that were there teaching English, a lot of white dudes.
I'll show you this up.
They were all laughing at me.
Ha ha, that didn't work out, did it?
Shithead.
Ha ha ha ha, pussy.
Do we have another picture there?
Chinese markets in general?
What the fuck is what is that?
A human bat monkey?
And why don't they chop it up or something?
Why is it like that?
There's some sort of sadistic impulse there where you want it to be as fucking horrific as possible.
Like, why is that a horror movie?
Why isn't that diced into pieces?
All right.
So number two is the same.
Number one was they eat bats.
Number two, they eat everything.
I've already explained that pretty clearly.
But, you know, you go there.
This is a guy who's eating mice.
This is called the two squeak lunch or something.
No, three squeak.
This is called three squeaks.
Ciao ning churzel.
Where they'll take live baby mice, and that makes it squeak when you pick it up.
Then you dip it into the sauce.
Oh, I swear to God, I'm going to puke.
Oh, oh.
Oh, my God.
they're alive.
Dip it into the sauce.
Oh, ah.
Wow.
Mm.
And that's the third squeak.
Oh, my God.
God has checks and balances for this.
That's why, like Jews and Muslims, they don't eat pork and bacon, and they obviously got that wrong, but there is a method to the madness.
God doesn't want you just eating anything that fucking moves.
Number three, they torture animals.
I know these are all sounding similar, but we got 25 here.
They have a saying that they believe that the more you torture an animal before you kill it, the more delicious it is.
So let's really just like scrape his skin off.
So he's like, yeah!
And I think that's why they don't prepare their animals.
I was with David Cross in China.
He got dog.
That was diced up.
But he also got a turtle soup.
Just a turtle in hot water.
Dead.
So they're eating these things that the face is on the plate.
And it's like, and you know, it was tortured to death.
And here's the crazy part about all this.
It's not fucking true.
You're not more delicious when you are tortured.
Being tortured makes their adrenaline course through their veins.
That's bitter.
That's acrid.
So things taste worse when they've been tortured to death.
You think they may have figured that out in 40,000 years?
Don't they learn anything?
That's another thing.
I think I get to that later.
How are you not figuring stuff out when you're so much older than me?
How old is America?
100 years?
How old is Canada?
20 years?
Why are we better than you?
You should be fucking, I was going to say ninjas by now.
Number four, they don't see their kids at all.
Well, that's the communist regime.
Okay, I don't give a fuck what it is.
It's China I'm talking about here.
Commies aren't cool.
China sucks shit.
And this was an interesting side note from the movie American Factory that Barack Obama put out.
He was trying to say unions are awesome, and I was a great president.
You were the one who made that town bankrupt by focusing on one union and not the other.
And secondly, you accidentally showed us China and we saw that socialism leads to communism, leads to hell on earth.
And there was a scene in it where these workers, Chinese workers who live in America now at this factory are talking about how lazy Americans are and how lame we are and what pussies we are because we only work 40 hours a week.
And one of the guys was saying, yeah, I'm lucky to see my kids twice a year.
I usually see them once a year.
I thought, what?
Like, why live?
Why live?
And this isn't just fathers.
Mothers and fathers both work at this factory.
So the kids are with the grandparents.
You see your kids once a year?
My like estranged cousins see my kids once a year.
You're not a parent.
You're an estranged cousin.
And that's the norm.
They work 10, 12 hours a day, six days a week, often seven days a week, the whole year, and they save up for Chinese New Year.
And then Chinese New Year, they'll go down to their family for like three weeks or something.
Yeah, that's no way to live.
That's like not eating for four days and then gorging and going to an all-you-can-eat buffet.
That's not a pleasant life.
So your life fucking sucks if you see your kids once a year.
Way to go, Barack.
Number five, they haven't learned anything.
40,000-year-old culture should be able to cure cancer with like a pinprick.
But you know what they do?
This retarded shit.
What the fuck?
I'm going to move this.
Oh, look.
You got a runny nose?
You just have to massage your big toes right in the middle.
The nose is directly related to the center of the big toe.
No, it is not.
It has nothing to do with your nose whatsoever.
Look, like this chart.
This is what I don't get about the Chinese.
Didn't checks and balances figure this out?
Hey, what happened to your lung cancer?
I was rubbing that weird part of your foot.
How did you still have lung cancer?
Maybe we're wrong.
And this, by the way, I could go on for days.
Like the whole, we had to kill bears because we needed this fucking bear gland that makes you more virile or the way they chop off shark fins because that might cure blindness.
Like, how can you be so smart?
And they definitely are smarter than us.
I'm not denying that.
How can you be so smart and not have placebo tests to realize that shark fins are not curing blindness or whatever the fuck they're into?
They're murdering these animals, torturing them, making them...
You know, you go to some market and there'll be all these alcohols, whiskey and stuff.
And the bottle has a coiled snake in it.
If you will.
So, oh yeah, and also they have, you know, in their spas, they'll have this stuff like the hot steam that goes into this spa, that goes into this room, has been filtered through gold and silver.
So the ions are in the water particles and they're going on your body.
No, they're not.
And even if they were, what the fuck cares?
Oh, I'm sick.
I better put a gold hat on.
Now I'm better.
What are you talking about?
That's not unique to China, by the way.
Koreans, Japanese, they also believe this shit about fucking ions.
It's embarrassing, really, that scientists and mathematicians could be so scientifically and mathematically illiterate.
Number six, they're okay with genocide.
Oh, this is a giant Hitler statue in Stuttgart, Germany.
No, that would be absurd.
No such thing.
It is a Mao statue.
Mao killed.
People always underestimate this number.
It's 80 million.
He killed 80 million Chinese.
What did Hitler kill?
6 million Jews?
80 million Chinese.
And they don't fucking care.
Like, you'll be walking around town.
This is not unique, by the way.
You'll be walking around Shanghai or Beijing, and you'll just see Mao statues every fucking where.
Go to a market, and they're selling little Mao hats, and all the fucking liberal hippies from America come, and they get a little Mao tote, and they get the little hat with the red star.
I got Mao teacups.
I actually did buy some Mao teacups that fell apart.
But the fact that you could have a genocidal maniac who murdered more people than I can conceive of, literally, and there's no animosity there.
Like, we're throwing paint on these Civil War statues because one of the guys might have liked slavery.
And they are totally okay with a giant gold Mao.
Again, that's not one statue.
There are hundreds and hundreds of Mao statues all over China.
And they don't talk about the Great Leap Forward with animosity.
Their attitude is, well, the trains ran on time.
You know, you got to break some eggs to make an omelet.
Then I don't want an omelette.
Number seven.
This is probably my biggest pet peeve is they don't say what's on their mind.
Face is all about What do you think?
Wait, you've pulled in way too close.
What do you think?
It's interesting.
And then he's really thinking, no way.
I don't fucking like that.
I don't like that I can't tell what's on your mind.
And a Chinese person can be totally mad at you, hate your guts, and they'll still go, hello, hi, how are you?
Okay, hope you have a good day.
Hope you have money.
And you go, don't waste my time.
I don't give a fuck if you don't like me.
I don't want to be friends with you if you don't want to be friends with me.
Get out of here.
And, you know, you're in a conflict with them about something.
I remember I was teaching this kindergarten class and they weren't paying me.
And I was like, what the fuck?
This is bullshit.
We had a contract.
I need my money.
And then I went, oh yeah, we're in fucking China.
I used to have a saying there.
I would go, fucking Chinese.
And I went, hello, I understand that you have a hard time.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, yes.
Maybe we could work something out.
And then I got paid right away because I was a gay lord.
Or another time I was teaching English and the only way we can get the class going is if I got her gossiping because she was very shy.
So she started telling me all this gossip about housewives.
Apparently some of them prostitute themselves, blah, blah, blah.
And then the husband found out that we were talking about rude things.
So he canceled the class.
Okay, I get it.
You're a prude.
Fine.
Fuck you.
But no, they don't.
They go, Hu Chin had to go to Hong Kong for her secretary work.
We will no longer be using you.
What?
Why are you lying?
I had to trek all the way out of here.
Stop.
I hate in Scotland, it's just like, hey, here are you.
You smad at me.
Oh, okay.
Well, fuck you then.
And you walk away.
You don't waste any time.
But in China, the whole concept of face means you're constantly wasting time.
You don't know how people feel.
That's frustrating.
And some of the kids, I didn't do this, but some guys would use it to their advantage.
They would get on scooters and they wouldn't get insurance or registration.
They just buy a scooter and zip around on it.
And then when the cops would stop them, they'd say, They go, I don't speak fucking Chinese.
Tell me in English.
And you go, oh, English, no, so good.
You don't speak English?
That's fucking.
And he'd start berating the cop for not speaking English.
And the cop would just like go, I have lost face.
And then you just drive away.
Or I saw another time a woman on a scooter wiped out and she had fucked up her knee.
There was blood everywhere.
Like she was, I think she lost her kneecap.
But you can't show too much emotion.
You can't show face.
So she just sat there with her hand on her knee as blood was gushing out, just quietly waiting for the ambulance.
Because I wouldn't want to be rude.
That's what I hate, that they're scared of being rude.
Yeah, I am rude.
Number eight, they're scared of dust.
You know the whole mask thing you see everywhere?
It's got nothing to do with germs.
That's a myth.
We've seen pretty clearly they're terrible at germs.
They're spreading.
The avian flu was them, right?
During an epidemic.
No, New York Times.
Have you ever been to China?
They always wear fucking masks.
And it's because of dust.
They're petrified of dust.
What the fuck?
Dust.
Here's proof.
When I was a teacher, I'd obviously use chalk.
And I'd be writing on the board, and I'd get chalk on my hands, and I would go like this, put on my slacks.
And the kids would see me go like that.
They would scream that I had chalk on my hands.
And I taught at this one private girls' school, and they would give them chores during the breaks.
So the second it was a break, it wasn't time to sit on your ass.
You'd have to wash your desk or go wash the windows or take out the garbage.
And they're always working and cooking and cleaning in between classes.
And one of the girls' jobs was to come to my Blackboard and take my dusting eraser things and go outside and shake them off.
By the way, you don't ever have to do that.
Eraser things don't get too dusty.
They'll be fine.
Just fuck off.
But she would come, and I'm talking about 12 years old or so.
She would come and she'd have to go outside to bang them out.
She was wearing a hazmat suit.
She had a mask, a head thing.
She had these arm things that went up to here.
And it was the shittiest job.
They all dreaded it.
And one had to do it every, I don't know, two days.
Go out there and get outside and bang them.
And it was like having to clean up shit.
Like they were hysterical.
I once ate a piece of chalk in front of them to show them how stupid this all is.
And they started screaming hysterically.
And I was fired.
Number nine, obsessed with money.
I stole this from Ronnie Chang, but I remember from when I was over there.
Do you have that clip?
When we see each other during Chinese New Year, the way we greet each other is we say in Cantonese.
I'm sure you've heard that, at least perhaps, right?
Kong Si Fatai.
Kong Si Fatai.
Kong Si Fa Tai means hope you get rich.
It's a really good special.
But yeah, and I hate their obsession with money because it's almost like a robotic obsession with money.
There's no opulence involved.
Constantly talking about money, money, money, which brings me to number 10.
They pray for material goods.
I was outside of Taipei on some sea resort town.
Yeah, that.
Click on that.
Now, this isn't the statue I'm talking about, but it looks exactly like the statue I'm talking about.
So we'll leave it there for all intents and purposes.
But I went to this sort of like Jersey Shore place.
Not that they would have anything as fun as Jersey Shore.
In fact, I shouldn't have said that.
A seaside area that had a lot of fish shit.
And there was some sort of like dolphin entertainment thing where they showed people.
And there was a black dude, a black American there.
And it's very rare to see Americans when I was there.
Especially outside of the big cities.
And they were doing these routines where like the dolphin would come out and then he would come out and the dolphin would hit him in the head and he go, what the pure Sambo shit.
Like I'm a dumb Negro.
And I would feed them wrong and stuff and slip and fall.
And they all loved it, of course.
And I saw him after the show and I had this look like, holy shit, what the fuck did you just do?
You totally humiliated your entire race.
And then he had a look like, niggas got to make a living, yo.
So he just sort of went like, and I was going, it was a weird little meet of the eyes.
We didn't even say hi.
That was more back when I was more politically correct.
In retrospect, if I did it now, I'd be like, what the fuck, dude?
That was ridiculous.
Something like that.
Maybe go get a beer with him.
It was rare to meet expats.
Anyway, that's not why I brought up that story.
There were these two dogs that were there, a statue of them that looked just like that dog I showed you before.
And they were side by side.
And there was maybe like 80 people around these dogs praying.
And the guy I was with, Transit, I go, so what are they saying?
He goes, oh, they are praying.
They are praying.
Because these dogs, they stay on the beach and they wait for their master, the sailors.
But the sailors did not return because the boat sank.
So they stayed there on the beach until they starved to death.
And then I assume you ate them, by the way.
And I'm like, okay, I don't believe you.
I think that's bullshit.
But okay.
So these dogs are very loyal.
And everyone's freaked out by these loyal dogs.
And I said, what are they saying?
Oh, they're praying.
Have you ever noticed with foreigners, you can never get a fucking answer?
Like you're in a taxicab with some Puerto Rican and he's playing music and you go, what music is this?
What artist is this?
Oh, it's merengue.
Yes, I understand.
But what's the artist?
Merengue.
It's Puerto Rican music.
It's Spanish music.
I gotcha.
But what artist?
Like, who's that musician?
He's a merengue musician.
I'm going to fucking shoot you.
What, you just have a big bucket of CDs when you go to the music store?
Can I get seven merengue CDs, please?
Anyway, eventually I got him to tell me what the fuck they were saying.
And they were praying for appliances.
This guy was praying for a Mercedes-Benz.
This guy was praying for a dishwasher.
Like, the magic dog gods are going to go, all right, that was a good prayer.
When you get home, it's going to be a Mercedes with a giant red ribbon on it.
And I might get to this later.
Yeah, I do get to this later.
That's number 14.
All right.
There's more on this soon.
Number 11.
Total and utter disregard for human rights.
They don't value human rights.
They don't value human life.
One time when I was there, I think it was Beijing, there was a journalist who wrote about, you can click on this.
What is this one now?
I'm on Reddit, I can handle...
This is the Hong Kong police during these riots where the Chinese don't want to be reunited with China.
So China's forcing them.
I don't give a shit.
I could not care less when I see these people complaining.
I go, yeah, you live in a shithole country with horrible culture.
Of course there's issues with the police.
It's not like someone from Canada is going, the police are beating us.
We don't know what to do.
I have no affiliation with you.
Your country is 40,000 years older than us and like 40,000 years behind us.
So when you catch up to us, yeah, we can talk.
But your fucking culture sucks and it's ridiculous.
Although I do appreciate the MAGA hats and the Pepe the Frogs and the American flags.
But yeah, when I was there once, they had some journalists was bitching.
Some journalist was pointing out police brutality and the cops found him after his article was published and they beat him to death.
I mean, that sums up China beautifully.
It is a corruption.
And there was no outrage, too.
Like, there's a thing in China.
I forgot this one.
I guess this goes under the same thing, right?
Because they don't value human life.
If you hit someone with your car, you have to pay their medical bills.
There's no healthcare there.
You pay for everything, right?
Although you're taxed to fucking death.
So if you hit someone, you pay their medical bills.
But if you kill them, well, there's obviously nothing to pay.
So if someone will hit someone in a car and they'll be like, oh, oh, and then they'll reverse over him and just keep hitting him until he's dead so they don't have to pay his bills.
Mathematically, economically, it makes sense.
But ethically, as a human being, it's bad.
Number 12, they want the son to be a doctor for money, not to save lives.
This is also mentioned by Ronnie Chang.
They're obsessed with their kids.
Excuse me.
They're obsessed with their kids being doctors.
And you think, wow, you must really want to improve humanity.
No, they have no interest in what he does.
They just want the money.
They want their son to be rich.
Hope he get rich.
Number 13, they'd rather die than go to the doctor.
So they're obsessed with their kids being doctors, yet they don't go to doctors themselves.
They go to this shit where the pathways along the vitals.
I love when white people too learn all this shit and learn about Chinese medicine and then tell you about it.
Headache treatment.
What do you do?
Squeeze your toes?
Western medicine, acute symptom response.
No.
Eastern medicine, chronic illness prevention and wellness.
If you be more well, you won't have headaches.
Yeah, let's stick some pins in your back.
Look at this shit.
Hey, I'm better now.
My headache's gone.
You burned some candles and stuck me with a pin.
Thanks.
Number 14, they don't need money.
And you go, Gavin, why are you pissed off at someone that doesn't need money?
Because if you won't shut up about money, but it's not for you.
Oh, here's a nice, this is an apartment in Beijing.
This is the kind of place you go into.
I once, I taught this one guy, his kid, I was a tutor for his kid.
I taught a lot of kids because none of the expats there wanted to deal with kids.
I love kids.
So I was teaching his kid.
He was a dentist, and he owned that, he had his practice at the basement, sorry, the ground floor, and then he owned the whole building.
So the next four floors were all his.
It was a very typical house in Taiwan.
And by the way, Taiwan is capitalist.
China is communist.
Not a real difference in the lifestyle.
They still have their meat hanging outside on the balcony instead of using a fridge.
I don't know what the fuck is going on with that.
They still are like dirty and they don't enjoy things.
That's my point here.
Is his house, we just had tile floors.
Everything's tile because it's easy to clean.
Yeah, it's also fucking depressing and gross.
Why are we in a jail cell?
So it's tile floors and then the lights aren't on because that saves money.
We need money.
This dentist was rich, but he has to save money.
So you're like walking up the stairs in the dark and then you get to this room that you learn later is the living room.
It's got a big TV there.
It's got tile floors and then huge Tupperware tubs.
I don't know what the fuck is in those, but just Tupperware in your living room, unless you moved in three days ago, you're a failure.
You have failed to organize your life.
Don't have tubs in your living space.
I thought that was clear.
So we'd sit in the dimly lit room and I'd teach him English and look at the shithole tubs.
And I thought, why do you want money so bad if you don't enjoy opulence?
Like, I understand a French aristocrat wanting money.
He likes to drive a Benz and he likes to sleep in silk sheets and he likes to go on a cruise on a beautiful yacht and have caviar.
Okay, I get it.
You're like a rich guy, dude.
You got a little monocle and stuff and you listen to classical music and you enjoy the fine of things.
Ooh, this wine.
You're on to like fine wines.
That's not my cup of tea, but I get that that's your thing.
And that's why you're obsessed with money, but they're not.
Like the fucking booze they drink is just in a plastic container and it looks like a water bottle.
It's like 100 proof and they have a swig and then pass out and die.
They smoke cigarettes.
They shit.
Oh, I forgot shitting.
They shit in these bathrooms that are just on the floor.
You squat down.
The other guy's previous turd is sitting there.
They're smoking cigarettes, talking to you.
Yeah, that's a whole other one, the bathroom situation.
But it sort of goes back to this sort of disdain for fun, which, okay, so you're like a Russian.
I get it.
But why are you talking about money all the time?
And when they do get money, what do they spend it on?
Luxury goods, Louis Vuitton bags and Chanel purses, stupid shit like that.
Nothing fun or exciting, like a kooky boat.
Number 15.
They think after you die, you just hang out.
Like this is a grave, right, that has a little area where you can sit and have tea.
Or in Taipei, when you go on the highway, all the hills have little graves everywhere with verandas like this.
So, and a table and chairs.
So you just sit there looking.
I guess they love cars, dead people, right?
They can't do it with great real estate.
So it's these dead people sit and watch traffic on their little graves with their little tables, smoke cigarettes, and I guess have dead coffee and just enjoy the view of Chinese traffic jams.
What?
Oh, Christianity is just as stupid.
You have angels with wings who play harps?
No, that's a silly little approximation.
We don't build like harps to go with our dead ones.
That's just a pretty picture of what happens.
You guys take everything so fucking literally that you have a table and chairs next to a grave site for ghosts.
They believe in ghosts.
They think their loved ones are ghosts.
Which brings me to number 16.
You know what they do with these ghosts?
They burn shit for them to have in the afterlife.
There's a computer keyboard.
There's a maid.
There's a, I guess that's a gardener.
They burn all this.
They burn piles and piles of money.
It's not real money, though.
They're too cheap for that.
So it's fake ghost dead money.
They have their own fucking currency, if you can believe that.
It's all got to be the same, right?
So they can exchange.
And they'll burn cell phones, paper cell phones.
So it's just a cell phone with a picture of an iPhone on a cardboard.
They'll burn that.
That guy gets a whole mansion.
Look at that.
With a guard they got?
Look at all this shit.
Oh, you see that?
Just pause.
Go back to that.
Yeah.
See that?
That's your own personal car with a driver.
You have a chauffeur in the afterlife.
All I have to do is burn it.
And then it appears obviously much larger.
It's convenient that they can shrink these things down.
Although the money is in real size.
And these fires they have are fucking huge.
You'll be walking around downtown Taipei and there's just a massive bonfire.
You go, what the fuck's that?
Should we call the fire department?
No, that's someone burning a lot of shit.
Like a side table, a TV, hats, shoes.
They burn little paper shoes so your ghost dad can have shoes.
Oh, they think trees are evil.
They have all this Shit about feng shui and oh, a big tree in front of your house can be bad news.
So, when the rich ones, and this is why I guess they hope they're rich, in China, you need something like 50 grand to leave.
So, they leave, they come to Vancouver, they've totally taken over Vancouver, but they get these big mansions, and there's these beautiful red woods, you know, 200-year-old homes.
Vancouver has always been hippie central.
So even rich people down there, when they have a home, it's got these big gorgeous trees, and it's on a lake, and they're very, it's like Seattle, right?
It's two hours away from Seattle.
And then the Chinese come in and they go, oh, bad luck.
You'll no have trees so close to house.
So the environmentalists are going ballistic because these Chinese people are cutting on trees, but no one mentions it.
You'll find a lot of this stuff is hard to research because it sounds racist to shit on other cultures.
Really?
What if these other cultures are shitty?
Can I shit on them then?
What if they're in a shithole?
And what if they're bringing that shitty culture to my country and chopping down 200-year-old trees?
Can we complain yet?
It's like Milo was saying the other day about Hispanic racism, meaning Hispanics who hate blacks.
Like they're fucking destroying them.
Are you sure you want this background and not green?
Okay.
You know what you're doing.
So I said that, right?
16, they burn paper crap for their dead.
Number 17, they think trees are evil.
18, their feet reek.
So Russians, Eastern Europeans are like this too.
We gave up on brown nylons around 1981.
Asians still wear them.
Brown nylons are plastic pants, and they'll wear brown nylon socks.
So they'll wear their shoes with brown nylons.
That's the same as you putting your foot in a paper bag, I mean, sorry, a plastic bag, and then putting that in the shoe.
So the foot odor just reeks in there.
And I used to know this guy who he made piercings, like nose piercings and stuff, and the two double whatevers.
And he manufactured it in China because it was cheaper.
And he did it as a way to make quick money in college.
But then he ended up going, I think this is my life now.
So he would regularly fly to China and oversee like 8 billion fucking piercings and then ship them all back and sell them to tattoo shops, whatever.
And we would be at his house when they would come and he's like, we got to get out of here.
Why?
Oh, they're coming to start working on shit now.
It was like a big loft apartment kind of a factory thing where he stayed when he was there.
And they come in, they all take their shoes off.
The fucking foot smell was like being murdered.
It was like cadaverous.
It reeked up his whole place.
He wouldn't stay there for three days after they had been there.
It smelled so fucking horrible because they had these plastic shoes on.
It was so fucking harsh.
I get the idea of not wearing shoes.
A lot of people are mad, especially Canadians, that I wear shoes in the house, but I wear like Mr. Rogers' shoes.
I don't wear like my muddy boots.
I have my indoor shoes.
And they're handy if you have to run out and throw the garbage out or something.
But reeking up someone's property with your gross plastic bag feet because you want to show them respect.
I'd rather be disrespected, thanks.
19.
They don't know where shoes.
You see a lot of Asian women, especially even in New York, unassimilated ones.
Remember, I said assimilation is cool.
And they'll have like a shoe with a strap on it, and the strap is never done.
It's always sort of just dangling around.
I should try to document this because it's not easy to dig up on the internet, but they often look like a little kid wearing mommy's shoes.
Maybe it's because they take off their shoes so much that they don't bother putting them on again.
But Asian women in China and America don't seem to know how to wear shoes.
They're never really put on completely.
The heels always coming out of the back, too.
They're crunching down on it or something.
Just put your fucking shoes on.
Number 20, asexual.
There's no fucking going on in China.
I mean, I know they have a population of a billion, so there's some sort of humping going on, but there's no sexuality.
And it's funny, speaking of boots, they'll sometimes dress like complete whores.
And you're like, you don't fuck.
And I don't know if you know the message you're sending out.
Like when you wear something like this, you're saying, I come from sucking dick, which is very rare.
You have to be a complete fucking slut to be like that.
And if you're that big of a slut, you wear thigh-high boots.
So they dress like that.
And you're like, what are you doing, lady?
That's not you.
Like, you don't even know.
This is hustlers.
This is Cardi B. This is fake tits and cocaine.
That's not your world.
You look fucking ridiculous.
Next.
They only fuck to make kids, and then they don't see their kids.
That's sad.
Sorry, I shouldn't say next when I haven't said it yet.
21.
Their movies blow chunks.
Their movies are absolute shit.
And they did a good job of kung fu movies, basically family entertainment, where, you know, like crouching tiger hidden dragon where someone runs on some rose petals, then does a backflip, which is like WWE, whatever.
It's basically Pixar with human beings.
Wait, what's this song?
Oh, that's the next one.
The music sucks.
This is the right video, though.
But there is this guy, this medicine man, Wong Fei Hung.
He really existed.
He's like the Jesse James of China.
And so they make movies of him.
Yeah, okay.
But can you, like, we don't still have a million Jesse James movies going on?
Can you maybe move on from Wong Fei Hung and the evil imperialists who were trying to make you Christian?
Uh-oh, Wong Fei Hung's coming to save the day.
It's ironic, too, because they're talking, usually these movies are about staying Chinese and rejecting the American culture.
But if there's one thing you need, it's American culture.
You need a bud.
Which, that intro to that Wang Fei Hung movie reminded me of number 22.
Their music is like, it's like someone is stabbing you in the earhole.
What the hell are you trying to do?
Is this an interrogation?教��流,教��教教��流,教��教 Oh,清早,令朝名字�� Like, young people listen to this fucking shit.
Ugh!
It's this whiny plinky.
Are there always plinking in some string instrument that's like ding bang ding ding ding tong bang?
You're just like, okay, I'll tell you what you want to know.
Please stop stabbing my earholes with pins.
Or it's just really milquetoast gay garbage like Lao Chao Shen Tr Sao Ning Le Tr Which brings us to their language, which sucks shit.
It's impossible to write.
They have a drawing for everything.
Hey, I have this man who's taking a boat.
I want to write about it.
Okay, this is a man and then the boat.
That's a drawing of what I'm talking about.
This is hieroglyphics.
What's your alphabet?
Oh, we just keep drawing fucking pictures for every word.
Look at this shit.
We eat fruit.
That's a nice, simple system.
Bang.
Look, we reuse the E, use the E twice.
They're like, whoa, men, cha, shi, su, choi, gao.
By the way, Chinese and Mandarin, I don't know how it is with Cantonese, but Mandarin has four tones.
So there's like Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob.
And if you say the wrong one, you just said your mother's a whore.
So when you learn any sentence in Chinese, your whole body's tense and you're like, hi, sure, sweet chao, zai che, du pochi.
Like, no, you just said, you said fart man at the end.
It's dui poo chi.
I said, I just said dui poo chi.
No, it's dui poo chi.
Meanwhile, in English, you can be Jamaican, Scottish.
Everyone knows what the fuck you're saying.
Stupidest, shittiest, most archaic language.
At least the Koreans updated it and they got themselves an alphabet with those circles and those squares and stuff.
That's fine.
You did a good job, Korea.
China's still painting their letters like the retards in the Middle East with their like...
Shoo shoo shoo.
Oh yeah, and listen to how it sounds.
By the way, speaking of not wearing shoes, what's going on with your croc there?
Are you allergic to shoes?
Listen to how that sounds.
She almost got a da-yah at the end.
By the way, this is a huge deal in China.
This would be like changing the world because she was rude and loud.
She probably got drunk.
She just lost face.
This is catastrophic.
She should be so embarrassed.
Which brings us to number 24.
They suck.
China sucks.
Chinese culture sucks.
People living under it suck.
It's dirty.
It smells bad.
It's polluted.
It's depressing.
There's no culture.
There's no fun.
There's no comedy.
There's no color.
There's no enjoyment.
Communism has usurped their will to live.
Look, there's a kid.
He's got two toys, sticks.
There's not even garbage around because no one can afford garbage.
Just rocks and trees and poverty and a pile of fucking tarps.
China blows.
No families.
You know, you don't get to see your kids.
You don't have a family at that point.
Which brings us to number 25, the last reason China sucks, is because they go pee pee in your Coke.
I don't know why they think this is funny, but if you have a Coke somewhere, you leave it there, a Chinese person is around, they will grab it, they'll urinate in it, and then you'll come back and you'll go, whoa, this tastes kind of warm.
and you'll realize a Chinese person just went pee-pee in my Coke.
Nuisance, well, what's the problem with it?
People say they're busy, well, fuck off.
What's the deal with it?
Just fucking deal with it.
Fucking deal with it.
Yeah, I'll change.
Deal with it.
You know what's funny?
Speaking of changed, so my scene in like 07.
How old's my daughter?
Yeah, 07, 08.
Was Fred Armison, Sid from Les Avvi Fav, Tim Harrington from Les Avvi Fav, David Cross, and these guys.
And I kind of sensed, John Glazer.
I kind of sensed things were not going to last forever.
I was at a party at Tim Harrington's house.
He's a singer of Les Avi Fav.
And everyone had these socks.
Like all the men there, they had these J. Crew striped sweaters and then socks, like orange socks and pink socks with bananas on them and stuff, like gayer than Justin Trudeau.
And they were talking about Hillary and healthcare and Obama and how awesome he is.
And I just thought, what did you look up?
Men's sexy socks.
Men's socks.
Gay socks.
What do you think was going to happen?
9 million cocks appear on his screen.
And a lot of socks, too, to be fair.
And I thought, yeah, this is not going to last forever.
These aren't my people.
And then I was skiing in the Berkshires, which is weird.
I was in the Berkshires, which I'd never really been to before, but there's a bunch of good ski hills.
Not good, but for the Northeast, reasonable.
I'm at the point now with skiing, by the way, where there's the Northeast skiing.
It's a different sport.
It's a different hobby.
It's a different pastime than Salt Lake City and Colorado and the West Coast and all that awesome powder, crazy giant mountain stuff.
We're just more like practicing.
It's almost like the Jamaican bobsled team.
But I'm in the Berkshires.
I'll get back to Sid in a second.
But I go to this sort of expensive pub and there's a lot of people.
You can tell there's a lot of theater people there.
In fact, I saw a microphone come out onto the main sort of area where we were sitting, and I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no.
And then check, check, check.
And you're like, we got to, let's keep eating, guys.
Hurry up.
Let's go.
We get the fuck out of here.
Someone's about to do live music.
The worst thing in the world.
So while I'm there, I walk in and I keep getting more and more famous.
I'm not bragging.
I'm not bragging.
I don't think it's good to be famous.
I would love to delete it.
I've considered prosthetic noses, but everywhere I fucking go, like the ski hill, I take my shit off and they're like, oh, we got to get a selfie.
So I do a selfie with one guy, another guy.
They didn't even know each other, but they took it.
I took your selfie, you take my selfie, whatever.
And then I'm in the pub and this guy does this, which is my fucking pet peeve.
I don't know why this makes me insane with rage, but I held in my rage.
I was with my kids and my friends' kids.
And so he goes, we got to do a picture.
Let's get it over with.
So we take the picture.
And it's much faster just to take the picture than to say no, by the way.
And so I go and sit down and then I go and piss.
And he jumps in when I'm pissing.
Oh, by the way, before that, there was some fatty liberal in a red sweater who was really big.
And it was kind of like a mock turtleneck.
And my daughter said, he keeps staring at you, and he's clocked to you or something.
So I don't know if this story is boring enough.
But anyway, I went in to go piss, and he approached me at the urinal, which I'm not bananas about.
Donnie Wahlberg and I don't like being approached at urinals, but high-pitched Eric approached Donny Wahlberg at a urinal recently.
And this guy approached me and he goes, what are you doing?
You're behind enemy lines, which is that story I told about when I first moved to the Burbs.
So I think he's listening to me and he's stealing a line from my own stories.
And then I said, he goes, and I go, what do you mean?
And he goes, the Berkshires, dude.
And I go, I didn't know that.
The Berkshires are a big liberal place.
Like, someone should have sent me a topographical map of where I'm allowed to go.
And I go, all right, well, if there's a fight, there's a fight.
And he goes, if there's a fight, I got your back, but there won't be a fight here.
Everyone here is a fucking pussy.
Okay, good.
Well, I'm glad we're both touching our penises as we have this conversation.
That was too much of indecence.
So anyway, I'm at the Jiminy Peak, I think it's called.
I'm at the ski hill, and I see Sid from Lesavi Fav.
And we were always good pals.
They were very pro-Obama and everything, but we never really had a political discussion.
In fact, he once tweeted out, I know a lot of people disagree with Gavin, but I'm glad he exists.
So he might be on my side.
His wife is Amy, I forget her name, but she's in Blue Bloods and stuff.
She's a fucking nightmare.
I feel so bad for him.
Being married.
I feel bad for every man married to an actress.
It must be hell.
They're so faux dramatic.
Anyway, I saw him.
What do you keep pulling up gay porn?
I put up Sid Le Savvy Fav wife.
And you got porn?
Yep.
Really?
Sid lesavvy fav wife.
Maybe DuckDuckGo's letting us down.
What does le Savvy Fav mean?
I don't know.
Because maybe it means something porny.
Savvy is an English word.
Favor the, I don't know.
The savvy fav.
I don't know the etymology of their ship.
But anyway, this is a very long way to tell you that I saw him and I just went, oh, fuck, there's it.
And I just turned away because I didn't want to deal with him.
Now, why was that?
I personally not sure I can articulate it.
I don't quite understand it myself.
But it was like, no, don't show his daughter, dude.
I guess the real reason was with that scene, right, there's been these exes.
I don't know if you were part of the fuck Gavin crew during the divorce that was Trump in 2016.
And I don't really care enough or feel like parsing through the, hello?
Oh, hey, are we, oh, hi, or are you pissed that I like Trump still?
Okay, so we're not, okay, so I shouldn't have said hi.
All right.
Like, I don't feel like doing, dealing with that.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
The disappointment of doing that.
And I'm not a phony, so I have no problem with him.
We never had an argument or anything.
But to run over and go, hey, is to him is to imply, pretend that that entire crew and I no longer speak because of Trump.
So to go up to someone from that gang and go, hey, and pretend we're still best friends, even though we used to correspond a lot.
We went on, I'm not sure we went on vacations.
Yeah, we did go on vacations together.
Our daughters were friends.
They were born almost the same day.
So to sort of pretend that we went from hanging out with each other regularly to not at all and be phony wasn't in the cards, right?
Okay, so what's option number two?
You come over and you go, hey, well, here we are.
What is it now?
Four years later?
How's Lila?
Like an ex-girlfrienders?
fucking want to do that.
So I just went.
And then luckily, my ski gear is a mask with a face, like a Jason Friday 13th goalie mask.
Anyway, that was a very gay story.
You call me a bitch?
You notice I'm not touching the notes.
I have a whole thing here on cleaning up the computer where it's things from weeks ago that we didn't cover.
But I want to make that an entire show in and of itself.
So let's drift over to the MB.
Ryan, shut up, you just never dare.
Let's turn the price together.
Let me touch it.
Ryan, shut up no tienes un padre.
Here's a new one.
Oh, that's for Gary, so we'll ignore that.
Okay, this is from Vincent Vin.
You ready?
It's to both of us.
Okay.
Mailbag at free speech or censored.
Hey, Gavin and Ryan.
I've been watching for a while now, and you helped me break out of my previous liberal ways.
I was raised by a culture that despised masculinity, and I was taught to avoid it at all costs.
Little did I know this would end up leaving me unhappy and unfulfilled.
Yeah.
What is it with this culture where we're taught to hate ourselves?
Is there another group like that?
Yes, black people are taught to hate themselves by racism every day.
No, that's not true.
They're taught they rock.
Look up inventors and Google.
But white males are constantly told they suck and males are told they suck.
Anyway, that kind of a culture is not going to pass.
Like eventually that group, which is males are, what, 50% of the population, are going to go, yeah, I don't like that.
I don't suck.
How do you so successfully sell a product to someone that says you're a piece of garbage?
That's the part I don't get.
Like if I went to Shark Tank and I go, I want a million dollars for 25% of the company.
We've generated a lot of money, but what we do is we just tell people that they're human garbage and then we try to get them to fix themselves.
Hmm.
Don't they get pissed off when you say that?
After finding a few beacons of light, you included, I started lifting weights.
Great.
Eating meat.
Awesome.
Running, sticking up for myself, dressing like a man and acting like one.
I still have a long way to go, but I'm significantly happier than where I was before I made this change.
Great news.
Why do you think culture moved in a direction during the early 2000s to demonize masculinity?
You see it in the emo punk bands and the vegetarianism, veganism movements, and characters in television movies not to be too conspiratorial, but it feels like there was a concerted effort to weaken men as part of a leftist agenda.
Yeah, there's definitely a globalist influence in that culture, but why was it so successful?
This is what we always say about Islam.
So they got infiltrated by, what's it called?
Wahhabism?
Wahhabism.
Wasabiism.
Wahhabism?
Spicy green sauce.
And they took the bait, though, and ran with it.
And the analogy I always use is these evangelicals who think you're impervious to venomous snakes.
If that group tried to take over Christianity, Christians would just go, what?
No.
No, we're not doing that.
That would be the end of that.
So why does it catch on?
Like, if you say a bunch of globalists spent a ton of money to encourage Mexicans to believe that masculinity is dead in Mexico and they suck and they're losers and they're responsible for all these horrible things in history, they just say no.
Blacks, Japanese, every other group would go, we're not doing that.
Whites went, oh, tell me more.
I'm garbage.
I'm interested.
So I don't, and I know he's talking about masculinity, but it's the same thing.
And I don't quite, I can't quite figure it out.
I think it might be genetic.
I think there's something about whites where when we get too successful, we become lemmings and we want to hate ourselves.
It's a curious trait.
And I'm not with it.
Now, you know, this is one of the oldest symbols.
You should have a manager who goes, yeah.
Translator.
You need to say oldest symbols or you're going to sound ridiculous.
Like Selena.
Remember that Mexican pop star?
Her dad would say, yeah, your Mexican sounds American.
And it's ostracizing the Mexican audience.
So you got to work on your accent in Spanish.
Okay, thank you.
Thank you for that tip, Dad.
Gavin, this is a Scottish Catholic question.
Dominus Vobiscum.
As you have referenced, Christianity has significantly impacted Western culture.
Oh, someone was saying to me too, they're like, I think it was a proud boy.
He was saying, oh, so hating Muslims is cool, but you can't hate Jews?
What the fuck is that?
You just randomly pick religions?
And I said, Judeo-Christianity is the West.
The Jews were an integral part of building the West.
Islam is the antithesis of the West.
In fact, they've made it very clear time and time again that they want to convert or kill.
They want to take over the West.
I remember there were some Australian Muslims I saw talking about how they hate Australia and someone said, why don't you just leave?
And they go, oh, this isn't Australia.
This is all Allah's territory.
You called it Australia.
Put up a flag.
This is Allah's land.
So we're just taking it.
Very, very different attitude.
Anyway, sorry.
This is especially true because of the teachings and writings of Catholic saints such as Saint Bonaventure, St. Gregory the Great, St. Bernard of Clairvaux, St. Benedict, St. John of the Cross, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Hildegard, St. Catherine.
And the list goes on.
What saints' writings have inspired you to better understand and appreciate the Christian roots of our Western culture?
Keep up the great work.
My wife and I are huge fans of you and Ryan.
We watch every night.
Pax Christie Bryce.
P.S. It'd be great to see you and Ryan do a seminar on St. Andrew, patron saint of Scotland, who's not from Scotland.
His bones were moved there from, I think, Turkey because he wanted to be as far away from Turkey as possible.
So they chose the weirdest place they could, and that was Scotland.
St. Patrick, St. Margaret of Scotland, St. Nicholas, and St. Mungo.
People are likely unfamiliar with the real stories of these saints, especially St. Patrick, and would enjoy learning about them from you.
March 17th is St. Patrick.
Maybe a St. Patty special?
Okay.
We'll do a St. Patty special on March 17th.
I'll commit to that right now.
Ready?
I'm putting that on my calendar.
You ready?
Yes.
Saint Patrick, who is my favorite saint, we will be doing a St. Patrick special.
Nothing wrong with that.
I actually kind of like the shitty audio of that now.
Is there someone giggling in the background?
Yeah, it's the interviewer.
Oh, right.
She's being charming.
He probably fucked her, by the way.
Maybe.
You probably turned her down.
He probably fucked her and made a baby he doesn't love.
Thank you.
That'd be a thing.
Gavin, I had a similar experience as your alligator arms and beanbag story over the weekend.
I was at a party with my brother talking to a couple of sixes, which is a good way to work out.
You know?
You just hit the heavy bag with some fives, and then when there's an eight there, you're in your group.
One of them is a heavy bag.
He is pretty shy, his younger brother, and I have an obligation to show him how to talk to women as his older brother.
At this point in the night, I had consumed at least a 12-pack and lost the plot while telling a story.
This guy must be British.
After giving me a distinct look of disgust, the girls scurried away.
I turned to my brother immediately and declared, that's what bombing looks like, Mason.
That's awesome.
Okay, last letter from Catherine.
You bitch about your dog pissing all over your house, but maybe it learned it by watching dad.
I like you more than a friend, Kate.
That hurt.
Not going to lie.
Okay, let's end the show with a series of videos about this guy.
What the fuck's his name?
Frido?
Some Turk.
I think this is relevant because it's part of my Western chauvinism, my arrogance when it comes to the West.
This is some fucking Turk.
Wait, are you sure you got the right one first?
Yeah, that's not it.
Yeah, here we go.
Some black dude was on a mountain bike and hit a Turk who was trying to fix a tire.
And he said, you coming too fast.
Why are you coming fast?
Sorry.
Fuck you, Mike.
Sorry.
Fuck you.
What the fuck are you doing?
So I crashed.
Who do you mean you crashed?
You actually hit my head?
Say.
No, no, it's not there.
Look at the police.
Okay.
Don't go anywhere.
Don't go anywhere.
I'm not.
Don't go anywhere.
I'm not.
I'm sitting on my phone.
Don't go anywhere.
Don't go anywhere.
What's the crime?
Okay.
Falling?
Making an accident.
Is it been agent?
No.
Yeah, don't go anywhere.
But it's bald.
Are you fucking blind?
You can't see me.
I crashed.
You crashed.
How are you coming fast?
How are you coming fast?
Why are you fucking coming fast?
What is this fucking path?
Why are you coming fast?
I just hit.
You hit me and I just hit the car with my hat.
You understand what I'm saying?
He literally did crash, yeah.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
How'd you pop the tire?
Why is he wearing reflective gear to change a tire?
Is it a police uniform over there?
No, it's not that.
Why are you coming fast?
Okay, so this guy...
This is an old video.
But what I was surprised to learn is this guy's still out there.
He's a celebrity now.
And this weird Turk loser, that's him, Ferdy, right?
Talking to the guy who came fast.
2018, when everything went absolutely mental.
A lot of people are talking online, but for the first time ever, we're bringing you our guy, Ferdie.
How you doing?
Nice to meet you, guys.
Thank you.
And for the first time on your camera, never seen ever before.
My camera?
We have got the guy who is coming fast.
JJ.
How you doing?
JJ, how are you doing?
Can you explain this whole thing from your side?
This was just my project.
In my college, I had to record myself doing a cycle from the destination to the college and back the other way.
And this happened to happen in that journey.
So talk to me about the day.
Like, what was going through your mind?
Well, first of all, I was late.
What was very late?
Talk to me about the day.
What was going through your mind?
Why are you day?
I was trying to get there fast, as we all know that.
That's clear.
And I buckled on the wall.
He was the safest thing to land.
Eddie.
Yes.
This reminds me of William F. Buckley and Gore Vidal debating.
This is a true meeting of the minds.
This is what we were trying to do with free speech, get two intellectuals together to discuss important issues.
And we failed, but Capital Extra nailed it.
I just want to say one thing here.
One second.
What is the high risk for?
What is the high risk for?
People wearing it.
You want to have the argument.
You should have your tools on the highest.
I'm not arguing.
I was just asking one simple question, but you know what he's saying?
Yeah.
What?
What are the highways for?
What are the streets for?
You should be in the streets, right?
Oh, I thought he was saying, what is the high risk for?
And he's talking about his vest.
But I think you're right.
I think you're right and I'm wrong.
Root.
Everyone.
And then he said, why are your tools in the streets?
Yeah, that's a good point.
But also, I think he means roads, not highways.
He should have said roads.
But he's right.
You're not supposed to be on the sidewalk on your bike.
Yeah, or you could put your tools.
If this guy was a good interviewer, he'd take his hat off and we could see a scar on the top.
Ah.
The voice came to my head that day.
Then I come out from my house, I said, Some voice is like, put a high risk in case.
Oh, no, the high-risk guy.
Okay, yeah, yeah, I was right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right again, the high-risk.
How did it?
You just gotta crush me.
And he says, I'm sorry, it was an accident.
I lost myself on a sec that time.
Look at this host treating it like he's got some scoop.
And what's with the framing here?
No, isn't this weird?
Like, it's like a third of the shot is this dude's crotch.
His weird giant denim balls are taking up the whole shot.
I'm guessing he was leaning forward and then he decided to get comfy.
Well, no.
Can you lean forward and we can zoom in a little bit?
Right.
Also, the processing in their voices is what is Capital Extra?
Public access in London?
Maybe.
I felt the impact.
How did that feel?
There he goes.
That's why I just said it.
I lost myself.
It looks like he heard us.
The impact.
How did that feel?
That's why I just said it.
I lost myself for a while.
I lost myself.
That's why I'm trying to find out myself.
That's why I've been holding my head all the way down to finish video as you finish it.
And I'm just trying to like, am I alright or not?
Am I alright or not?
And then the words come out of my mouth, which is, I didn't realize what I was saying also.
What was he fixing?
I was checking the brake pets.
Did you check your brake pets before you left?
Nobody answered that question.
Terrible.
But it goes on.
This guy has tons of interviews on the internet where he discusses this ridiculous moment in his life that's totally fucking irrelevant.
The only reason it went viral is because why you come fast sounds funny because the guy doesn't speak English.
And here he is on hip-hop talk show after hip-hop talk show.
...music videos, live PAs, club appearances.
Club appearances?
...boohoo, man.
Blood.
None other than the man himself, the second greatest Turk to be coming on this show, first being me.
He's none other than fuck you Mike Ferdi coming fast.
Are you fucking blind?
You can't see him here.
I crashed.
You crashed?
How are you coming fast?
Why are you fucking coming fast?
Why are your tools all over the fucking road?
Just I beg for this episode, let's just swap places, yeah?
Alright, now we sat down.
First question, Ferdie.
Why did you want to call the police on the black boy?
Why did I want to call the police for the black boy?
Yeah.
He has a scarf on his head.
He's an asshole.
What is to the end?
To the end.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
So you're going to call the police on me now.
He looks like the black dude in Rage Against the Machine.
How terrible is this?
What total and utter garbage.
I thought our show sucked.
My friend, how are you?
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas to all of you.
Get Gary on there and liven things up a little bit.
Why did you come fast?
Wait, why are you coming fast?
You have a cigarette?
Could I get a cigarette from you?
Can that happen, fam?
I love Gary's mailbag, his advice.
So, hey, Gary, I have cancer and I'm wondering if I should get the chemo or just sort of try to have a quality of life and then die after it metastasizes.
It depends.
You know, you have to do what's best for you.
Okay.
All right.
So last thing we're going to show you, Ferdie.
Then we'll end the show.
He was asked to freestyle.
Is that Turkish?
I hate Turkey.
Your culture sucks.
It's so good if you could.
I've never done a freestyle on my show before, and I'd love for you to be the first person that does a freestyle on it.
You up for it?
Yes.
Hey, guys, don't go anywhere.
It means it's not mean.
Don't go anywhere.
Go somewhere, but make sure that you better know where you're going, Mike.
Come on, guys.
We have to wake up.
2019.
Think about 2020, you're gonna be like overage.
Come on, guys.
One word.
Every time you say, be careful, be careful.
Be careful.
Yes.
We have to be careful, but we have to think what we left at.
That means don't forget.
Be careful means forget everything.
Carry on.
Future also.
No, you have to look after what you left.
Rap music, which is my style music as well.
What?
Example.
Rap music.
When I open the village, there is a node jam.
When I open the village, there is a non-Nutella.
It's not me.
What?
I don't know.
I'm gonna die if there is no.
I can put into bird.
Cheers, my.
That's a freestyle rant.
Oh, he's got more styles.
Let's go, Ferdy.
I know you got this.
Let's go, Ferdy.
This is also called extra.
Come on, London.
London.
Come on, get up.
Like me, get up.
Do some dances.
Show me.
Show me hands.
Come on.
We can design right smite.
We have to leave everything from our brain.
Make it clearer brain.
Because Monday morning may be going to work.
They're not sending their best.
My mind is numb.
Get some crazy nice.
Come on.
What a garbage human.
It's pretty funny.
From a garbage country, from a garbage culture.
He needs to get fired.
You need to get in trouble.
We all need to be brave and never stop fighting.
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