On this special vacation episode, we go over the past month’s and get to stories we missed. This includes Patrick Stewart bequeathing a Star Trek spot to Whoopie Goldberg and the seemingly endless disregard the left has for our kids.
*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* Live from New York, it's Get Off My Lawn with Gavin McInnes!
Ahem.
Ahem.
Welcome back to Get Off My Lawn.
This is a funny episode.
We're going to pre-tape.
This is pre-taped, the beginning.
By the way, everything live you see is pre-taped.
Jimmy Kimmel Live is done at 6 p.m.
And then we're going to be genuinely live for the calls.
I'm going to be in Florida and uh, we'll see if we can do a thing where we Skype.
Ideally I'll be with my old man cause he's down in Florida.
I'm going to visit him when I'm down there.
So don't get your hopes up, but the calling section of the show might be a lot of fun.
Um, If you don't subscribe, you won't get it anyway.
I think we're now cutting off these live ones 30 minutes in.
I'm wearing a shirt that says Better Under Pence.
This was a Milo shirt that he put out saying with the impeachment, yeah, impeach him.
I would prefer Vice President Pence.
He'll get the wall up faster.
Before we start the show, I of course would like to thank our sponsor, Johnny Apple CBD.
JACBD.com is where you go to enjoy all of their different gifts from God.
You will not get high, but it has all the benefits from this magical plant, hemp.
We've got the gummies that take the edge off, help you sleep at night.
We have the tincture that also takes the edge off, but the tincture is great if you over caffeinated or you're just feeling sort of anxiety in the middle of the day.
I feel, and this is just my personal opinion, I feel that gummies are better for nighttime.
Tincture's better for daytime.
Cookies are delicious, of course.
Vaporizer.
And then there's also the topicals for when your bones are aching.
Sorry, when your muscles are aching after an intense workout.
Look at the variety of stuff they have at JACBD.com.
Use the promo code GAVIN and you get What is it, 20% off?
20% off.
Free shipping.
It's fantastic quality.
Over at jacbd.com.
The way you remember it, of course, is think of Johnny Appleseed.
J-A-C-B-D.
J-A-C-B-D.
J-A-C-B-D.com.
Use the code Gavin.
J-A-C-B-D.com.
Slash Gavin.
Should be good to go.
I wanted to... See what I'm saying.
I wanted to try something fun today that I stole from Howard Stern where they clean out the computer.
I tend to over prepare for these shows and have nine million pieces.
I was talking to my friend Tim the other day and he says he's British and he's like You must understand I run out of things to say and I go, no, the opposite is true.
I strive, the struggle here with this show is to keep it interesting with variety and maybe guests or green screen and to do something different every day.
But as far as shit to talk about, we have the opposite problem.
There's too much.
So.
I have this shit that piles up forever and it gets lost and I think this was a really good segment.
Why didn't this ever see the light of day?
So I'm Copping Stern and we are having a special episode called Clean Out The Computer.
Ryan, what do you think of that?
I think it's great.
He's got the same kind of input as Gary.
Well, it depends.
Whatever you think.
You know where I got this blazer?
It fits perfectly.
Well, a little tight.
But I'm older and fatter now.
When I bought it, I was probably 30.
I got it in Italy.
Huh.
Because Italians are small.
Ah, yeah.
And vintage Italians, right?
They were even tinier.
So you go to a used clothing store in Italy, everything is beautiful because they really care about fashion, but everything is super snug because they were little men.
So you get these cool little blazers.
Now, blazer with a t-shirt is kind of strokes.
Oh, there's also jizz stains on it.
That's not good.
Is that mildew jizz?
I don't know what that is.
That's too dark to be jizz.
Unless it's fresh.
I never noticed that before.
I wonder why it was on sale at a used clothing store.
What is it?
Oh, it's oil.
Oh, those Italians and their oil.
Those oily bastards.
No, but this is probably from the 70s and 80s, and that's back when your dad would, you know, work on the weekend wearing slacks and dress shoes and change attire with his blazer on, because that's all he had.
Like work clothes and weekend wear.
That's pretty recent.
I got my eyes on a Brooks Brothers piece.
He'll be... Brooks Brothers is gigantic.
It's for fat finance guys.
Oh, that's not the one at all.
Wait, why are you going on Craigslist to do extra jobs and also looking at the most expensive suit manufacturer in the country?
This is the Winter Sale.
It's 100% wool and it's $299 and then actually 15% off of that.
So that's a great deal.
It's not a great deal at all.
That's a really expensive blazer.
You're wasting your fucking money again, you Puerto Rican.
All coats are about $300.
No.
You know how much this was?
Well, it's... Why?
How much?
Probably 20 bucks.
Sheesh.
All coats are 300, says Ryan.
All good ones, yeah.
Even the ones that express for men, which are garbage.
But I have, that's all my suits.
Alright.
Um, so shall we do this?
Shall we clean up the computer?
Oh, okay.
So there's going to be no order here.
This is just crazy news segments and there's no rhyme, no reason.
One thing I did want to talk about though, before we start, is I was having dinner at a friend's house recently and I said, you know, I live in a liberal community, but I've got all my pubs.
I've got like my four or five bars and all of them are, well, most of them are very close walking distance almost.
One of them I gotta drive three miles for, but what the fuck is that?
Eight minutes?
And when I walk into all these, it's like the cheers bar.
Hey Gavin, how you doing?
So I know I'm a pariah, but as far as my day-to-day goes, pretty fun, pretty popular.
And he goes, oh yeah, I'm sure you're getting a great, he's Italian, I'm sure you're getting a great quality people over at this fucking place.
And that gave me pause, because I was like, oh shit, maybe I have a lot of friends that are just shitty human beings.
So I took the criticism in a very open-minded way, and the next sort of few days, when I talked to people, I went, am I just hanging out with shitty people who think I'm cool?
And so I have a white trash, blue collar bar I go to.
I listen to those conversations and stroke my beard.
And then I have a middle class, even upper middle class bar I go to, which is dads and guys who live closer to me, finance dudes.
Stroking my beard, listening to them.
Then I have a kind of an in-between bar, where we go after the live podcast.
And well, I go, you sometimes come.
And I was checking that out, listening to those conversations.
And I realized, From blue collar to upper middle class, as far as interesting goes, not really much of a difference.
The blue collars tend to have better stories.
Because they've had more life experience, but the rich guys in America, at least, they cut their chops for a while.
They didn't, it's not like Britain where they went to eat and they went to, um, what's the other place?
Oxford.
So they've got, I love my new shirt, tur undiens.
Um, and so the stories were of equal quality throughout the different classes.
So you're wrong, Italian guy.
Um, The quality of pals I have is across the board and really good.
That sounds so defensive, doesn't it?
No, but you talk to the dude who was in prison.
He's got amazing stories, but even the rich guy talks about when he, he was on this hunting trip in Morocco and they robbed him and he had to chase them down to get their money back.
Basically the same story, just much more expensive.
I don't know.
I don't really know.
Actually, the one place closest to my house is not exactly Conversation Central.
But I don't go there for conversations.
I go there to become invisible.
And I sit by myself and drink.
All right.
I don't know why that was in my notes.
That was a stupid, boring story.
Let's get to cleaning out the computer.
Already way too far into the show.
This was supposed to come right out of the gate.
Let's start with Scaredy Cat.
This is something someone sent in.
I'd never seen this before.
A hideous, weird drag queen who has a song that makes me sick.
It's funny how people think this makes you sick because, like, you can't handle it or you're too uptight.
No, if I was a drag queen, this would make me sick.
Doors.
Satisfaction.
Painting.
What the fuck?
I guess I should introduce myself.
Hello, my name is Skadi.
Most of the time I stay indoors.
Doors.
Painting the face.
Set us try.
Painting.
But then I got the call.
Somehow I got on Drag Race.
What the fuck?
Yeah, it's British.
Now I'm here, I got through.
And there's some things I want to do, want to say.
Isn't this a parody of women?
This is what Pamela Geller was saying.
This is blackface.
But woman.
It's woman face.
You're mocking females.
You're mocking young girls.
Spread legs, of course.
Wait, isn't that a pedophile thing?
Hold on a second.
Pause.
Go back.
So he's clearly being a young girl, right?
There's a giant teddy bear.
Get ready to pause.
Saying shit, that's not quite true.
So I've been learning things I never knew, but that's okay.
All right.
Am I a homophobe for being disturbed by, no, keep it there, by a man depicting a, let's say a seven-year-old girl, surprised, helpless, surprised, helpless, and spreading her legs?
Like, we're so worried about racism.
Oh no, that might offend black people.
Meanwhile, we're totally okay with fucking denigrating children and talking about fucking seven-year-olds.
Actually, let's jump ahead to something else I was going to talk about.
A whole segment that I abandoned weeks ago.
I just never got to it.
Why don't we care about kids?
This is now, we're down to 34.
Serial child rapist released.
No longer a threat because he's trans.
There we go.
This guy raped children.
A convicted child rapist is reportedly to be released from prison in Iowa because he's no longer deemed a threat since he began transgender hormone treatments and is considering reassignment surgery.
Just considering it.
Doesn't have to do it.
But he's thinking about it, so he takes some estrogen pills and he's free to go.
He raped 15 kids, can't believe I'm laughing, including a one-year-old and he's being released from prison.
Meanwhile, Max and John, four years in prison for fighting Antifa.
Wow.
I was considering making this a green screen too, because it's like a segment.
It's called, Why Don't We Care About Kids?
Example number two.
Mika Rhodes.
This guy is an Antifa kid.
Antifa man.
He regularly rapes underage boys and girls.
In fact, at one point he raped a couple.
A male and a female.
Oh, you see that guy in the purple shirt?
I'm starting to recognize people.
I have seen Proud Boys at rallies beat the living shit out of him several times.
You remember that montage of face punches and he's covered in blood?
He's a complete tool who just keeps picking fight with giant patriots.
Maybe that's his sexual fetish.
But yeah, there he is in court again, different hairdo every time, for serial rape, and he would protest while he was on probation.
And no one cared.
That's Portland for you.
There he is buying rape groceries.
For his next big raping.
He's got paper towels to clean up the bodily fluids.
Pink and blue blankets.
In March, Rhoades pleaded guilty to two counts of felony second-degree sexual abuse for at least twice having sexual contact with a 17-year-old boy.
Investigators say Rhoades met the boy on a gay dating app and the contact happened in Gresham and Troutdale.
Days earlier, a Washington County jury had found Rhoades guilty of second-degree sexual abuse of a 17-year-old girl!
Did my glasses make that sound weird?
Yes.
A defense memo said the contact happened after the girl went to watch a movie with Rhodes at his mother's house.
Oh, good.
Are we seeing a double standard here?
Oregon law says it's a crime for an adult to have sexual contact with a minor if there are three more years in age difference between the two.
No problem.
This is like the judge who put the Proud Boys in prison let a Hasidic Jew, a rabbi, Out after a year for raping a child, I believe, eight times?
Okay.
This brings me to my third example.
Mark Dwyer gives Rabbi nothing for serial child rape.
He's referring to the case of a Williamsburg rabbi, Baruch Leibovitz, who pled guilty to eight counts of sexually abusing a minor.
Judge Dwyer sentenced Leibovitz to a year with time served.
Now he'd already been in prison during all this for nine months.
So technically the sentence was three months.
Which meant the rabbi only did an additional three months for repeated abuse of child from 2004 to 2005.
from 2004 to 2005.
Number four.
Drag queen sex offenders.
They keep doing this drag queen story time.
And they keep not vetting these guys to do it and we find out they're sex offenders.
This was why I chose this theme of, uh, why don't we care about kids?
Wait, go back to that Canadian thing.
What was that again?
I'd sent that as a tangent.
Right-wing extremism and DND and the CAF.
Oh, this is some Canadian military thing where they're talking about hate groups you have to watch out for and one of them is Proud Boys.
What do they say about Proud Boys in it?
Hammer skins!
They put us right next to Hammerskins and other real groups, but I can't read it there because I'm covering it.
Do you see Proud Boys mentioned?
Oh yeah, so Vinland Hammerskins, blah blah blah, Hammerskin Nations, Blood and Honor, originally in the Aryan Guard, so all legit like white soldiers of Odin.
I don't know if they're racist actually.
And then Proud Boys.
The group is a men's club believing in masculinist Masculinist?
The fuck?
Why is that in quotes?
I never said that.
No one ever said that.
Views close border anti-racial guilt and reinstating a spirit of Western chauvinism.
Sounds pretty good to me.
That's your insult?
Wait, keep going?
Get rid of me?
Although the American Proud Boys have been violent during demonstrations, the Canadian chapters condemn violence.
What?
Both sides condemn violence?
Keep going?
The marine- the maritime chapter was a small group of individuals trying to find like-minded friends without having to join white supremacist groups.
Isn't that a good thing?
We found this club, and it's for people who don't want to join white supremacist groups.
Anyway, that's a tangent.
Number four, Drag Queen's sex offender.
Second Drag Queen Story Hour library reader exposed as convicted child sex offender.
A second!
I don't know if you're familiar with numbers, but that's two.
Houston Public Li- No, go back up to the top.
Public library drag queen was convicted of multiple sexual assaults against young children.
Awesome.
Fucking great.
There he is.
You'll often find out they're like prostitutes or something.
I mean, most gays, you know, when they're broke, they'll go suck some dicks for money.
At least the gays I know.
They'll have a phase in their life where they were broke and had to turn tricks because there's no stigma really to it.
Do you hear a barking dog?
So I thought I thought that was a squeak.
All right, my headphones.
Number five.
Oh, wait, that is that?
What's this?
The before and after?
He kind of does look hot as a chick, I gotta say.
That's a new one.
William Travis Dees, yeah.
I have a boner.
Liz Lott.
Lees a lot.
Maybe it's lies a lot.
Lies a lot about the age of his women.
This is a fifth example.
Yeah, this is why I didn't make it a green screen, because it's just really a list of examples.
Are you at number 5?
It's link 38.
Oh, this is a smart guy.
See, this is why it's cleaning up the computer.
This is ancient news by now.
Where's this from?
January 18th.
That's how far back I'm going.
But we've all seen this, right?
...to make you have so much respect for them and admire them so much.
Other than put on makeup and jump on the floor and writhe around and do sexual... Just pause.
You cut out the beginning.
Don't go back to it.
But he said, what have drag queens done to deserve so much respect?
Things on stage.
I have absolutely no idea why you would want that to influence your child.
Would you want a stripper or a porn star to influence your child?
It makes no sense at all.
A drag queen performs in a nightclub for adults.
There is a lot of filth that goes on, a lot of sexual stuff that goes on.
And backstage, there's a lot of nudity, sex, and drugs.
Okay?
So I don't think that this is...
an avenue you would want your child to explore.
They could explore dressing up at home, like we all did.
Like all gay boys did.
We all dressed at home and we had a great time.
We had a great time with our girlfriends, putting on makeup, trying on clothes, things like that.
But to actually get them involved in drag is extremely, extremely irresponsible on your part.
And I understand... We know what it is.
It's a fuck you to traditionalism.
It's a fuck you to Christians.
It's a fuck you to families.
Uh, it has nothing to do with promoting gay awareness and being tolerant.
My wife would, would hear me saying this and go, what are you a jock now?
Now you hate gays?
No, I'm aware when someone's fucking with me.
And that's what this is about.
If they ostensibly chose drag queens to say to young kids, hey, if you're gay and everyone's bullying you, I want you to know that it's okay.
And hey, bullies, stop bullying that gay, what, five-year-old?
What the fuck is a gay five-year-old?
Stop bullying that gay five-year-old.
Look, we're fun.
Um, no one's bullying a gay five-year-old, A, and B, okay, I get your point, I don't believe you, but I get what you're saying.
If you're trying to make gays seem, you know, not villains, why'd you choose the weirdest gays there are?
Gays at their absolute weirdest.
Why not just like, hi everyone, my name is Mark and I'm here to read a story.
And then we find out later Mark's gay.
And you go, oh, the teacher could say, you know that guy who read the story?
Yeah, he's gay.
Oh, oh, you seem like a good guy.
He is a good guy, Jerry.
But like, hi, I'm Cruella DeVille, and I'm here to read a story.
Oops, I forgot my panties.
Which really happened.
Yeah, there is a barking dog.
Oh yeah, I did hear that one.
What's the second thing after 3-8?
Why are we assuming it's the 1950s and gay kids are getting terrorized?
Yeah.
No, a drag queen did not flash a bunch of kids.
Oh yeah, we talked about this already.
I hope we haven't.
This was the guy.
They said, no, he didn't flash the kids.
He forgot to wear underwear because he was in a rush.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Just go down.
Yeah, that's him there.
And what does he say?
He defends himself and says, I was new to drag, and I had just rushed out of the house, and I only put on my brown nylons, and I didn't have time to put on, I forgot to put on underwear.
Is that an amateur drag queen reading to kids?
Yeah, at least get the prose.
What the hell?
Number six reason.
Oh, I should get a pen to cross these out.
Number six reason we don't seem to care about kids is SGD screenings are cool.
Kids can fuck.
Left to celebrate 12-year-old kids getting SCD screenings without their parents' knowledge.
12-year-olds.
Yay, look at her dancing.
She's dancing to the idea of young girls getting gonorrhea screenings without their parents knowing.
And is that the doctor?
Yeah, they got her video.
Scroll down.
Okay.
Kids.
I'm working with the genitals of children.
Hooray!
Kids can have secret sex lives.
Yeah!
It's the law, it's talk!
All right, that's that covered.
That was my fun segment in cleaning up the computer called, Why Don't We Care About Kids?
Which brings me back to the trans thing.
This is one too.
You should give a shit about Britain and Canada.
I know this is a very preachy podcast, but that's what happens when you clean up the computer.
UK woman convicted for misgendering and calling a trans woman a pig in a wig on Twitter.
Now we scroll down and what do we see?
Little more?
A pig in a wig.
And this guy obviously has all the filters on of, you know, whatever the fuck stupid app he's using.
The Glenn Close filter?
Fake eyelashes and everything.
Yeah.
You're not pretty, dude.
You're not passing.
You look ridiculous.
And as I was saying the other day, we've been trained.
I don't know if trained is the word.
We've been enjoying men in dresses for hundreds of years.
In World War II, when the soldiers were bored, they would do a play.
Hello, I'm a lady!
And they have lipstick on and like a mop for the wig.
And everyone was laughing their heads off.
It's been comedy.
Mrs. Doubtfire, we've been laughing at this forever.
And then like five years ago, you said it's not funny anymore.
Now you have to go, you're beautiful, you gorgeous babe.
And if you don't, you're arrested.
And Americans should care about that because Britain is socialist, Canada is socialist, and America is not far off, especially when Bernie is doing so well.
You'd be better with Trump.
Also on the subject of trans, this is a very transient episode.
This was interesting I thought.
Now we had a viewer who sent in a letter a long ass time ago and I couldn't dig it up.
It's too hard for me to search anything trans on my computer email because there's nine billion of them.
But she was saying there's something going on with drag queens and trans where they have this competitive male thing.
As all men do.
And now they're like, we're the new bitches in town.
And she sent me a video that we played on the show, but it's like a couple years ago.
And it was like, you better work it girl, or you're going to lose it.
And it was like men, trans, drag queens, whatever, putting on makeup and being badass bitches.
And all these girls like, wow, you're way better at being a woman than I am.
And it's like, yeah, fucking damn straight girl.
Get your lipstick on, learn how to do it right like me.
I am woman.
Hear me roar.
You're a frumpy bitch.
And women are ethnomassacists just like, well, white people are ethnomassacists.
So when you tell a white woman that she's fucking up, she's like, I know I got to get it together.
And I thought it was an interesting angle.
We talked about a couple years ago, but then I saw this Saturday Night Live sketch, which is ancient Chinese secret by now, and I thought, that's exactly what that viewer was talking about.
Ru!
Yes!
Honey, yes, hi, Ru, hi!
Wow!
Okay.
Cecily, you really come on strong.
Yes, and it's writing night, so I was taking a break from the drama.
In this dress?
Yeah, just my writing dress.
I've worn it before, so.
Yeah, yeah.
I was just gonna... Go to the studio.
It's this way.
I can take you.
Sure.
Thanks.
Thanks.
Hey, I've got an idea.
Why don't we siss it out walk?
You mean it?
Huh?
Look at that.
Look at that subservience.
Just pause.
Siss it out walk.
So I guess that's like a thing that RuPaul does where he sisses it out like a sissy or something?
And she's been practicing, and the way she looked at him when he said, I will let you do my sexy woman walk.
Meanwhile, she's a very sexy Scottish woman.
And it's an honor for her to be able to walk with him in his sissy walk.
Look at her.
Doesn't that sum up American race relations right there perfectly?
Okay, here we go.
- There you go, come on. - Oh, I suck at it.
You're so good at it.
Look, I'm the shittiest woman ever.
You're a way better woman, black guy.
Whoa, I'm gonna fall.
Oh, oh, stumbling.
Wait, what is that?
Hi!
J.J.
Watt's a pizza- Pause.
Look at this.
Who's the biggest stupid idiot in the world?
The straight white male.
Look at him.
I got gross pizza!
Couldn't they have got better pizza for that sketch, by the way?
You're in Midtown.
In his dressing room!
What's a J.J.
Watt, baby?
J.J.
Watt's a guy.
That's just Beck.
He's like our big dumb guy.
Ignore him.
Let's go to the hallway again.
Every day is a chance to grow.
Don't ruin this for me!
Ruin what?
What's happening?
Thank you, RuPaul, for tolerating us.
We're such imbeciles.
We're such cretins.
It teaches us of your ways of walking, sis, I guess?
Sis walk.
Sis it out.
I want to learn.
Sis it out, girl.
This is him on Saturday night.
Oh.
Just breathing and turning and gyrating.
Yes, girl.
I want to hold something and turn my head slowly and weird.
So your whole point, RuPaul, that sketch is that women are stupid, useless losers, yet you've dedicated your life to mimicking them.
All right.
The thing I love to aspire to is a fucking loser.
Every gesture you have is like, I am a lady.
I'm Mae West.
Oh, why don't you come up and see me sometime, big boy?
It's like animals are losers and then you become a furry.
Yeah.
Oh, there's another one of RuPaul.
Weird.
If I was a dode.
Also in the ancient news, I thought this was interesting.
There was a, there's a, an alleyway in Sydney, Australia where all the graph goes.
And here's how I feel about graffiti.
I fucking hate it.
I hate that you write your nickname on other people's property.
It pisses me off.
Now, when, and that's tags, like I'm CESC 424 and they do it with etching cream, which is used to write on glass.
And then some poor Italian dude has to replace his windows for $1,500.
That makes me fucking mad.
However, If there's an abandoned old dirty industrial alleyway and people are doing a big mural, well that's painting.
And I get that.
No, no, pause.
You're giving it away.
So that's kind of different.
Writing your nickname on other people's property is fucking annoying and it's not street culture.
It's not culture at all.
It's vandalism and it's megalomania.
Yo, I got fame.
I got up.
I shouldn't say, yo, it's all white kids, couple of Puerto Ricans, couple of Hispanics, but it's mostly rich white kids emulating what they think is black culture.
But I think it started with that Greek dude, Tacky152 or something in New York and in Philly, uh, was big.
And, uh, Then it just became like writing my nickname so I can have fame.
It's like advertising, but without any of the good stuff.
It's annoying to see ads everywhere, but at least they have a product.
At least they're selling you butter.
These guys are just like, no, that's a nickname I made up for myself.
Every time I see it, I think, oh, the nickname you made up for yourself.
Oh, you wrote it on a wall.
Good boy.
Good five-year-old.
Anyway, so murals, throw-ups I believe they're called, because they make me throw up, are part of graffiti culture.
But part of graffiti culture, I hate using that word, is that shit gets erased.
It's temporary.
So these guys show up and they cover all these murals with fire extinguishers full of paint.
Which I think is kind of cool.
This is kind of an interesting thing to do.
They're not anti-graffiti, they're graffiti artists, I guess, but they're saying part of this shit that you keep capitalizing on is covering up other stuff.
And every mural you see there, by the way, covered up a previous one.
So is this vandalism?
And it's kind of, this is what good art does.
It makes you ask questions like, what is vandalism?
I love that they did it in the middle of the day.
And a drone was there from the government.
What is this weird mural?
It's all, like, black women and R&B singers?
Oh no, they destroyed my Lizzo throw-up.
Lizzo, if you're watching, you need to throw up.
You're gonna die of diabetes if you don't slim down.
I think that was just a life-size representation of Lizzo.
Scale one colon one.
Yeah.
So they're ruining all this beautiful art.
And so there was a big outrage about this.
And the mayor, the mayor, of course, it's a woman mayor.
You got to get those female mayors.
I love this tweet.
This is why I brought up this subject.
How old is this by the way?
Speaking of how things get lost in the crud.
February 9th.
Damn old.
Melbourne is a street capital, street art capital of Australia.
Just listen as closely as you can, please.
The very nature of street art is that it's temporary.
Got that?
Two sentences later, this is unacceptable and is not keeping with the spirit of Hosier Lane.
What?
You just said, the very nature of street art is that it's temporary and you're all pissed off that they scribbled on your fucking dumb drawings.
Also in the news, I fucking hate this guy, Dean Obadella.
Obadella?
Um, by the way, if I've already covered this on the show, then stop me.
Does that look familiar to you?
Laura Loomer, Trumpy bigot.
Trumpy.
Isn't that a strange choice of words?
Doesn't that imply frumpy?
Is he trying to get a little sexist insult in there?
Anyway, Laura Loomer, Trumpy bigot embraced by the Florida GOP, could actually get to Congress.
It's spreading.
In the past, extremist and racist candidates like Loomer were rejected by the Republican Party.
In the age of Trump, not anymore.
How amateur is this of the writing?
It's funny that I said that in a very poor, poorly constructed sentence.
They always choose that picture of her too, because it's an ugly picture.
She's actually quite attractive.
But look at this, the quality of this writing.
Donald Trump wants to be president forever.
What?
It's honestly like a, it's sub-student newspaper.
He made that clear again with his tweet on Wednesday that featured campaign signs of Trump for president extending from 2020 to 2048.
Is it possible that that was a joke?
Has it occurred to you, Dean?
And I talked to Laura about this.
I said, Dean is out there calling you frumpy.
And she said, yeah, he's always hated me because I pointed out that, um, he, uh, oh shit.
I hope I'm not missing this.
Do you have 21?
He did a talk for care.
And he was at this conference for care.
Oh, I sent it to as a separate picture, but 900 years ago.
So do you remember what it was called?
I don't know.
Maybe CAIR, the Canadian American Islamic relations, whatever.
Oh, gotcha.
Oh, you found it.
Yay.
Nice.
Daily Beast contributor, Dean Albedalola, speaking at CARE 25th anniversary.
There he is, right?
With Linda Sarsour and some other Muslims.
They don't have nomars there.
Ilhan Omar, I can't really read that.
On the bottom left, yep.
I didn't want to say that in case I looked like I was saying they all look the same.
And then who's that other chick?
I'm not familiar with her.
Movida Johnson.
Oh, I hate when they were born here and they become Muslim.
Remember when being Muslim was cool for blacks?
Like, I'm Talib Kweli.
Yeah.
Lots of Talibs there.
I'm like Malcolm X. Oh, that seems badass.
Even the dude from Everlast.
Oh, Everlast himself, the dude from House of Payne.
He was like, yo, I'm so black, I'm basically, I'm Muslim now.
All praise is due to Allah.
Yeah.
And I remember this is like, well, obviously pre 9-11, like in the 90s, you'd sort of go, whoa, you're intense.
That's a weird Arabic religion that you're in.
Wow.
Do you like know Saudi Sikhs?
I think it's, yeah.
Sheiks?
It's not only to get depth, but also if they want to not be in hip-hop culture, that's the only type of culture they could feel like they could default to.
Well, they also want to be religious, but it seems corny to say, I am Christian.
Those guys don't seem cool.
It's not mysterious.
I'm from a far-off desert religion.
And then, of course, it became throwing gays off buildings, inbreeding, and treating raping women with reckless abandon.
It went, oh, shit.
Now my name is Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
Now I sound like a fuckin' terrorist.
I used to be this weird, cool religion.
Or fuckin' Cat Stevens.
He's now stuck with the terror religion.
Anyway.
So Dean works with CARE, and CARE is a terrorist group.
They fund terrorism.
The FBI cuts ties with CARE following terror financing trial.
Ugh.
Also in the news, I don't usually talk about Vice, but someone sent me this.
They went woke, and they got woke and went broke.
Is Todd Cooter?
I don't know.
2-4?
And it was... Isn't it weird that Tim chose that backdrop?
Because it looks like Blue Lives Matter.
Yeah.
This looks like a show about cops' rights.
Is it not?
No, it's just normal Tim stuff.
This is a weird thing too where he says he invented Vice News.
Dude, Vice News started when I was still there in like 2003 when we worked with CNN and we went to China and did travel pieces.
You were like 2012 or something.
A little late.
Exploitation of Vice and how Vice turned from this edgy punk rock magazine into this ultra woke.
It is a complete inversion from where it was.
So I have this story.
I'm not going to read it, but I'm going to show you so that you understand what I'm talking about.
Because I was having a conversation with the production chimp earlier about- I'm kidding- I'm kidding.
I'm going to tell you guys the reference.
The chimp is a reference to the Joe Rogan podcast parody where Joe Rogan has a chimp on as his guest.
And he's like, I'm a big fan of your work, and the chimp just shrieks.
And then he's like, that's crazy.
That's enough.
I can't.
Tim is exhausting sometimes.
Who is that guy in the suit?
He looks like a walk-on role in The Incredibles.
Yeah.
Like a Disney Pixar.
Tim's studio must be freezing if he always has that hat on.
Yeah.
I think he's in Florida too.
It should be warm enough to take that hat off.
Don't you think?
Maybe he got surgery.
Oh, you're wearing a hat too, though.
Yes.
Are you cold?
No, I'm bald.
I've been going bald.
I don't think that's his reason.
Here's what I think happened.
I think that Shane Smith, the president, was concerned that he would be the victim, not the victim, he would be exposed for sexual harassment.
And so he hired a chick.
And what people didn't get is that Vice was built on perception over reality.
And Bullshit or Shane, as we used to call him, did very well with CEOs, talking about what Vice will be.
And we're all gonna be billionaires.
And so they didn't run their due diligence because they thought, yeah, yeah, I know they're not making much money now, but let's do it.
Let's do it because we're going to be huge.
It's going to be big.
We're just getting in really early.
But then when he hired a chick and they went woke and they had women everywhere, then they started forming.
So there's two layers here.
There was the employees forming unions and making themselves so expensive that they're dispensable.
And then the more important thing was getting this chick to run the company who was like, Oh yeah, we're not making any money.
No, no, no, no, no.
We're not worth that.
So without bullshit or Shane, they just had the books, the book sucked.
And now just so it's more than just get woke, go broke.
It is, um, When you have a woman take over your company just because she's a woman, she's not going to be good at her job.
We've seen this time and time again.
I think Deneen Borelli at CRTV is the reason I got fired.
And then she was promptly fired for incompetence.
Or the woman who got Coach D fired from New Rochelle High School, the guy who's brought eight players to the NFL.
She fired him because she's just a fucking vindictive cunt.
And then she was fired for incompetence.
Or the woman who fired Roseanne Barr.
She was hired as Affirmative Action and then said Roseanne Barr made a monkey joke, she's fired.
Now she hasn't been fired yet, that ABC woman, but it's only a matter of time.
Or the Affirmative Action hire that runs Vanity Fair now.
Vanity Fair is supposed to be rich people porn for women.
They read about some guy who was at cons and has a home in Morocco and was dating fucking Princess Anne and that's their porn.
And now it's a woke magazine that sucks.
I assume sales are plummeting.
But this other layer with Vice is interesting too, where you have people like Andy Campbell and Huffington Post talking about the unions.
We need unions.
And what they do is they write this stupid claptrap about how everyone's a Nazi and white nationalism is taking over the country and you need to pay attention to trans obese cripples.
Or you're a loser and we need more big fat pig head writers of shows like Samantha Bee's woman.
And then they start losing money.
And they go, Oh, uh, I'm sorry.
Then the, the, the, the company they work for starts losing money because no one wants to read this shit.
You're talking like you talked in college and no one pays attention to hegemony and, uh, dialogue and what the fuck other stupid words that they talk about having a conversation and providing a space, you know, all that shit, all their weird words they use intersectionality.
So they put that in an article and people go intersectionality and what the fuck's that?
I'm out of here.
So then they go, we're losing money.
And so instead of the, these employees understanding the market and going, all right, I guess I should write not from outer space and try to get a little closer to earth.
They go, we need a union now.
So what happens?
They get fired.
If you demand more money from a company that you're losing money for, they go, well, we have to cut our losses or go bankrupt.
We literally can't afford your bullshit.
And this happened, I remember there was a big wave of this when all these journalists were getting, journalists, all these bloggers were getting fired and they had been accused a long time ago of saying, learn to code.
So there was some minors that were out of business and some of these rich kids were saying, just look, they should learn to code, they'll be fine.
And so now that they're getting fucked, everyone's saying, oh yeah, why don't you learn to code now that you're unemployed?
And so they go, that's actually hate speech.
And go back to that other one.
Telling fired journalists learn to code is now abusive behavior on Twitter.
Twitter spokesperson responds, it's more nuanced than what was reported.
Twitter is responding to a targeted harassment campaign against specific individuals.
Policy that's long been against the Twitter rules.
That's John Levine.
That's, boy, he's getting a lot of attention today.
He's the previous guy we had on with the Dean Obadiah thing.
I got a, that guy's a conservative and he's, we've featured him twice in the show, this show.
I got a bad vibe from that guy.
He used to be a liberal.
He did a big hate piece on me.
I told you about that, right?
We had dinner with Ann Coulter and him and some other gay lord.
That was the one?
And I said, he goes, oh, hey, you're probably pissed off.
I wrote a hit piece on you.
And I go, I don't remember that.
But what was it?
And he said, blah, blah, blah.
And I said, oh, I think I might remember that.
And I go, what was your point?
Like, what were you trying to say?
I called out a detail.
And he goes, I don't remember.
That was like one of five stories I did that day.
I was only getting paid $20 a piece.
I'm paraphrasing, of course.
And I had had a few drinks and I was getting pissed off.
And I didn't know who he was.
And I wanted to end it myself, to be quite frank.
Why did she invite these fucking hangers on?
I don't know them.
I don't trust them.
And I said, why did you choose this profession?
He goes, I don't know.
I did apologize, so we can maybe move on.
And I go, no, I understand that you're a liar.
I understand that you're devious, but there's so many other jobs where you could do that and benefit.
But being a writer is conveying a story where truth is paramount.
So to choose this profession, but not give a shit about the truth, that's like choosing to become a mechanic, but not giving a shit about cars.
Like, what are you doing with this profession?
And then he starts getting uncomfortable.
And Anne gave me a talking to, told me to drop it.
He's already apologized.
And I was just like, I'm never trusting you.
Anyway.
Has the Twitter rose in this?
Yeah.
I already explained that.
Okay.
Here's a super ancient one.
This is more like a history lesson.
Yeah, this one I like.
This is way ahead now.
You see 40, 48?
This is actually the one above that, Star Trek Picard, Trump.
The reason that I'm doing this particular episode is because I wanted to... Wait, no, that's different.
This one?
Is that right?
That's the next one?
And then the one before that is the golf cart?
Yeah, it is.
Oh, okay, I see what I was doing there.
It's because of this story, because this happened forever ago, and I wanted to make sure I included it.
Yeah, God, this Picard is... Picard, what's his name again?
Patrick... Oh, the actual actor?
Yeah.
Patrick Stewart.
Patrick Stewart.
Oh, before we get to this story, by the way, I highly recommend you check out Blue Chew.
B-L-U-E, right?
C-H-E-W dot com.
Use promo code Gavin.
This is a magic pill that guarantees bones.
If you have erectile dysfunction, you are lazy because there's a cure.
It's like being deaf and not using a cochlear implant.
We have the solution for you.
You can never worry about not getting a boner again.
What are you doing?
Why would you not do this?
They ship it for free.
It's in an indiscreet box.
You go online.
You do a test.
They make sure that you're eligible.
And then a certified medical expert says, yes, you're in.
You get it.
And they send it to your door.
So, so if you're single, if you have erectile dysfunction, you no longer do.
If you're single, you should, I can't believe you don't have this because it should be in your wallet for emergencies.
Just have one ready to go.
Just try it once.
Like why, why would you risk taking home the most beautiful woman that you've ever got and you can't get it up and that's the end of your relationship?
She's not going to call you back.
Have it for emergencies.
Use the promo code, Gavin, get 20% off.
You turn around!
it shipped to your just try it once don't get addicted to it don't it shouldn't be something that you can't live without and also married men even when things are going great just try it it's fun to have a 14 year old boner again and i don't mean someone else's i mean yours although i assume if you're gay it is great to have a no no wait that's illegal this Isn't that what ruined Milo's career?
Just implying that?
Yes.
Why are you gay?
Um... Alright, so to get back to Star Trek Picard, I don't know why I started with this, but this was an interesting video of a woman freaking out at some anti-Trump guy.
Sir?
Can I ask you a question?
Hi.
Why do you think... Hi.
Why do you think that Donald Trump's a sexual predator?
He admitted to being a sexual predator.
He did?
No, he didn't.
He said they let you grab them by the pussy.
That makes him put placards all over his fucking golf cart?
When?
When did he admit that?
Do you live in a cave, lady?
When did he admit that he was a sexual predator?
Do you know what a predator is?
When he said he grabbed women by the pussies.
Oh, that's a predator?
Grabs women by the pussies and thinks that he has every right to do it.
Don't get in my face.
I'll get it.
I'll get it in your face.
You will not get it in my face.
Don't be so goddamn dumb.
Oh, okay.
I'm dumb.
You're dumb.
You don't know that it's dumb.
Look at you!
Look at you.
You don't even know he said that.
I know he said that.
You are stupid.
He said that to a guy on a hot mic.
Trump, filthy pig.
I'm not stupid.
Yes, you are.
No, I'm not.
How many women have filed suit against him for grabbing them?
I have no idea.
How many women filed suit against Bill Clinton?
Why are you defending Trump if you don't have no idea?
I will defend Trump till the day I die.
Well, you're a pig.
A what?
A pig.
A pig?
I'm a pig.
Okay, what's your name, sir?
None of your business.
Yeah, well, let's see.
Ed.
Ed!
Adam Barry, Penn State.
Okay, because I'm going to send this to Donald Trump and Donald Trump Jr.
Good.
And tell them that you're... And tell Donald Trump to come down here.
I want to punch him right in the nose.
You won't punch him in the nose.
I would punch him right in the nose.
Would you really?
Okay, well, I'll tell him.
Tell him.
I'll tell him that you say he's a sexual predator.
Isn't this juvenile on both sides?
He's a pig.
It's like we're watching little kids.
He's a bigot and a racist.
A bigot, a racist, and he's a pig.
He's a pig.
Ooh, a pig.
What's worse than being called a pig?
Well, if that's the other go-kart, is that security?
So he's on some sort of median?
In the middle of a roundabout or something?
Fuck it, that's gotta be Florida.
Anyway, that's enough.
I'm not sure why I included that, but what I really wanted to talk about was Patrick Stewart Um, here, skip ahead to 49.
Um, so the reason he, no, wait, is that 49?
That's 48.
Oh, the number four.
Okay.
I thought you meant in the video.
No.
48 seconds.
Um, the reason, yeah.
Patrick Stewart's new show, Star Trek Picard.
What are you doing there?
Move your mouse.
Oh.
Uh, is a response to the fucked world of Brexit and Trump.
So that's why he's making a new outer space show.
To fight back against, I guess, the racism of Trump?
Stewart went on to lament how both the United States and Britain are fucked under President Trump and Boris Johnson.
I'm not sure which one of us is in the most trouble, said Stewart.
I think it's actually the UK.
I think we're fucked.
Completely fucked.
So he's having a new show where in outer space, we see tons of diversity.
And what we learn is in the future will be much more diverse because he assumes Trump is against diversity and Boris Johnson are against diversity is against diversity.
And to further hammer down his message that the future will include all races.
He has this solipsistic announcement on the view.
It's going to make you barf.
Ugh.
I need to bring up, if that's okay.
I'm here with a formal invitation, and it's for you, Whoopi.
For me?
Alex Kurtzman, who is the senior executive producer of Star Trek: Picard, and all of his colleagues, of which I am one, want to invite you into the second season.
Oh!
Ooh, wait, go back.
There's men in that audience?
Please be gay.
What if that guy was- Stop.
What if those guys aren't gay?
Then they're gay.
I guess they're Star Trek fans?
Look at that black dude.
His little brace- wood bracelet.
Wait, stop.
I want to see more of that audience.
That looks like- Their little sweaters on and their pink shirts.
Look at that standing O.
Please be gay, man.
And if you are, that's fine.
Yay!
They all look like Star Wars fans, don't they?
star trek whatever Yes!
Oh, I'm so pleased!
Some people in the audience don't know that that's a returning role.
Thank you!
I think Givo Shea from Crass, the one who dumped me, has much more in common with this guy, Patrick Stewart, than me.
Oh, unbelievable.
I'm so excited.
I'm absolutely so excited.
Oh wait, go back.
Was there at least one guy rolling his eyes?
A Hispanic dude?
Yeah, that looks... This is bullshit.
shit.
The jobs are coming to you now.
Yeah, so many offers.
She's getting only on TV every day.
Like, Yes!
Look at that smile!
I just said to him, does she have to take the hair thing off?
He said she can do whatever she wants.
This was one of the great experiences.
I've said this on the show before, but Star Trek was one of the great experiences from the beginning.
God, you're so fucking stupid.
Shut up.
Look at that.
That was incredible.
Best time.
Best time ever.
I'm so glad to hear that.
Yeah.
Well it was wonderful having you and we can't wait.
No, it was absolutely wonderful having you.
It was an absolute joy and a pleasure.
And I think you were aptly named the eponymous whoopee.
Because that is what we all say when you enter a room, my dear.
And I would be honored to have a second announcement to make.
That I am proposing, and I'm not assuming that this will happen, but I would like to make Whoopi too Whoopi.
If she would have me.
If she would have me.
Oh, she will?
Yes!
Yes!
Oh!
Fuck.
I have to try to get it up.
- Let's see it again one more time.
- Are you getting emotional?
- Yes.
- Are you getting emotional?
- Look at Meghan McCain, she's turned into a...
Yes!
Are you getting emotional?
Look at Meghan McCain.
She's turned into a fucking weird makeup film.
She told me once how much she loved doing it.
Oh, wait a minute, Ryan.
I just realized going through all these old stories is great because we clean up the computer, as Stern would say, but we're going to get ravaged on YouTube for using all this footage, especially the view.
Oh, but we're gonna cut it 30 minutes in and just go to static, right?
But we need to do the other read, I think.
Yes, we have one more read, which, as you know.
One.
And we're about to take calls.
Now, the calls are weird, because I pre-recorded this part, and we're gonna try to do calls live, where I'm in Florida, and I'm on Skype, and we'll see what happens, and if it fucks up, we'll hang up, and you're fucked.
At least you got a normal show with it.
Uh, J-A-C-B-D dot com.
Named after Johnny Appleseed.
We're trying to help you remember.
J-A-C-B-D dot com.
Again, we have the stem, we have the tinctures, we have the topical, we have the gummies!
We have the cookies, the stem vaporizer.
The tincture takes the edge off your coffee.
Move your mouse.
The gummies help you sleep at night.
The topicals are great for muscle pain after an intense workout.
Please go to JACBD.com right now.
Use the promo code Gavin, G-A-V-I-N, and you can go JACBD.com slash Gavin if you'd like, and enjoy the discount on my behalf.
And also I would thank you for going there because you're promoting free speech and you're promoting podcasts that promote free speech.
Thank you, I like you more than a friend, and get fired, get in trouble, be brave, and never stop fighting.